Azriel X You - Tumblr Posts

the routine (4)

heeeey guys. this is a short one but i wanted to share something with you, since it's been a while! it's getting harder to write, but i found some peace of mind today so i wanted to give you this. hope u like this! love u all and hopefully see u next time. i promise it's gonna get better, just give me some time :(.

summary: trying to settle into life after what happened has proven to be just as difficult for both you and Azriel… pairing: azriel x fem!reader words: 1.5k warnings: still just angst.

part 1: the cliff

part 2: the house

part 3: the court

There was something bittersweet hanging around your house since that argument with your parents. It had been a week since you had returned and, sadly, things didn't feel as good as they used to. You didn't expect you all to be exactly the same either, you and your parents had been through specific times that wouldn't allow them to ever be the same again, especially when they were so reluctant for you to return to the Night Court. Even you didn't know if you would be completely ready to do so in the near future.

One good thing was that, during those days, you had learned to manage your emotions to keep them from running strongly through the bond you shared with Azriel so as not to overwhelm him. Perhaps it was the only thing that had distracted you during that time from rethinking what had happened, even more than your parents' attempts at conversation.

There was also the matter of the shadows. You knew they were Azriel's, you thought they belonged to him, but some of them were constantly accompanying you, and they got scares out of your father from time to time.

Going back to your parents was supposed to bring you peace, but you felt calmer every time you looked at the tattoo running down your arm and the promise Azriel had made to you with crystallized eyes.

“I hear your thoughts all the way over here, you know?”

You lifted your head, blinking faster. The wind caressed your cheeks and moved your loose hair, for a moment forgetting where you were. Shadows gathered around your feet.

“I'm sorry, did you say something?”

Alya had a posture with her arms up, sending you a curious look. Your childhood friend barely needed to hear the tones in your voice to know when you were lying, but she seemed to want to let it go that time. The people around you didn't seem to know how to deal with the conversations when word got out that you were back, but Alya had a talent for knowing when to touch on topics and when not to.

“Several things,” her body moved toward the fruit baskets, taking the last basket in her arms and starting to walk in the opposite direction. “My brother got married.”

“Really?”

“And he has children.”

“Really?”

“Twins.”

You let out a laugh, remembering Alya's rebellious older brother. Your visits to her house were always accompanied by the constant whining and fighting between Trav and his parents because he didn't want to start a family in the near or distant future. He was so insistent about it, even though it was the only thing his parents wanted. According to Alya's accounts, it was impossible for him not to start imagining that future when he met his mate.

“What about you?”

“Ah, no, please, no. There is nothing interesting to tell about my life. I assure you that Mrs. Taylors had a more exciting life for the past few years than I have,” Alya and you arrived at her mother's fruit stand, where she dropped the last basket of goods you had helped her move all morning. You marched beside her, detailing the look of nonchalance she was trying so hard to maintain.

“It couldn't have just not happened. It was… too many years,” despite the boastfulness with which you wanted to carry the conversation, your voice reached to cut off finishing the sentence. Alya turned to look at you, her worried eyes analyzing your face before grabbing your wrist and walking away from the fruit stand.

“You know you don't have to pretend around me, right?”

Alya closed the door to her house behind her. Her family had gotten a very homey house right in the heart of the city's commerce and they kept their very well kept stall right in front of it. Every corner of the place felt like a home because of the great dedication and love her whole family put into it. Even when her brother was missing, it seemed that the house had not lost any strength or presence.

Maybe that's why you felt a wave of longing and nostalgia hit your body, leaving you more vulnerable than you had been the last few days.

“Living with my parents hasn't been so great,” you began, lowering your gaze with a frown. Alya had moved into the kitchen and you had happily settled down on the counter right in front of the stove. Your hands in front of you on the white ceramic were moving nervously, interlocking and clattering your nails on the hard material. “After so long I thought that… I thought that nothing would change when I came back. I thought we'd be even closer together than before, I even thought we'd sleep together. I spent so many nights… alone and so cold. I couldn't bear the thought of going back and having to go through that kind of torturous loneliness again.”

Alya moved in front of you, setting aside the tea brewing to clasp her hands in yours, still twitching in nervousness and anxiety. Her expression was no longer one of dread as she noticed shadows moving around you.

“Is it because of him?”

You nodded, and acknowledging it once again was no less painful.

“It's illogical, I think,” Alya rested her arms on the ceramic, frowning slightly. The warmth of her hands, even though it wasn't a bit chilly in her house, brought you just enough coziness to try to soothe your heart. It reminded you of that moment at the border of Court Day next to Azriel. “After so long without seeing you, why not take advantage of the indefinite time you'll be with them? They stress too much about something that could happen in two decades, even.”

“I've tried to tell them, but I don't think they'll be happy until I tell them I'm not coming back.”

“What about him?” Alya cocked her head to one side, and at your confused look added, “He wouldn't be willing to come?”

“What? No. I couldn't even suggest it to him,” you shook your head as soon as the words left her mouth.

“Why not?”

“His whole life is in that court, Alya. Asking him to give it all up for me just because I wouldn't be willing to do it for him, wouldn't that be too selfish?”

“You must keep in mind that you've been through special circumstances. If he really feels a quarter of the bond love, then he won't mind giving up everything for you.”

“I don't want to talk about this anymore. The tea is going to dry up.”

Alya shifted letting out a gasp of surprise.

“Fine. But you have to keep in mind that it's not just about you now. You're not alone anymore. You don't have to make decisions for him or stop making them because it's not just your feelings you have to be careful with.”

-

Azriel still didn't understand how Mor had convinced Tarquin and Rhysand to meet for that reunion on the day you finally returned home, but he was immensely grateful that she had been able to negotiate the terms down to the last instance. The same thing he would've done.

“Are you ever going to see him again?”

“Not as long as I live.”

The aforesaid appeared at the training camp when Azriel was taking some time away from the crowd of people living in the Town House. He would never have believed that he would rather strain his body until he passed out just so he wouldn't have to meet Rhysand's or Cassian's face at every corner. The blood in his veins burned as if it had poison in it, one step away from starting to spit in their directions as if they were the only ones to blame for everything that had happened.

As if he needed to find a culprit for your departure.

But there was no one to blame. It had been your decision. And every day since then Azriel's sentence became significantly larger and more tedious to carry. The worst part was not even knowing when that ordeal would end. Living with that bitterness in his heart and that emptiness in his soul, he didn't believe there could ever be peace in his relationship with his brothers. No one in the house overlooked that.

"She's fine," Mor changed the subject abruptly, knowing exactly how to appease the flame of his anger.

Azriel nearly melted with his forehead against the punching bag. His shoulders slumped in momentary relaxation, the only relaxation he'd allowed himself to have since you'd left.

“You saw her?”

“Yes, she was spending time with her friends. She was smiling. Laughing. She looked happy.”

Azriel had to fight the whine that wanted to escape his lips. He shook his head in assent, trying to keep the emotions at bay, sending a silent thank you through the masses of air. He felt his heart squeezed inside his chest. Every day was a constant uncertainty because he couldn't even feel her anymore…

Mor had to travel weekly to Summer because one of the terms of their agreement with Tarquin required it and for the last three weeks all Azriel had been waiting for was news about you, to know that you were well, that you looked well, that you were really happy there, at home… away from him.

“You know that doesn't imply that she wants to forget you, right?”

The mere implication made his head fall back on the sack. Azriel tried to nod, feeling the words and his own emotions choking him. His body would become an inert object at some point, that much he knew, because he couldn't spend too long living like this. He couldn't even imagine it, if he was just beginning the period that could last for years, even centuries for all he knew.

“I know…” his voice came out choked, almost mistaken for a sigh. “I know.”

He repeated again to himself.

Azriel dreaded knowing how things were going to be from now on.

-

taglist: @isa1b2h3 @naturakaashi @anuttellaa @tele86 @amysangel @fxckmiup @inloveallthetime @fightmedraco @railingsofsorrow @fandomarchiveilyd

tis the damn season

a season of sadness wanted to come to an end. 'tis the damn season and you thought maybe you could go home and live with your mate the way it was meant to be…

pairing: azriel x f!reader

wc: +3.5k

warnings: pure angst, cuss words and slight (or light? soft?) unprotected (wrap it up) smut. no happy ending, sorry

note: hi guys! :)- i wrote and published this one some time ago, but i deleted it because it was poorly received and that disappointed me a bit. but now that i was able to read it again, i feel it's a good job and that should be enough for me. i hope you guys like it :). see u next time!

Azriel was your mate. You had known for a couple of months. He knew it long before that, too. The bond snapped first for him, but he never tried to get close to you. You didn't know if it was out of fear or if he never agreed with what was chosen for the two of you by the Cauldron. 

Likewise, you never had time to ask. The battle against the King of Hybern almost cost you your life. You didn't know what things had been done outside of your consciousness to keep you alive, you didn't know what boundaries Rhysand had crossed to bring you back to life, and you never wanted to ask either. You never asked anything, living in that ignorance gave you a sense of peace you didn't want to get rid of. 

But things were never the same after that. From the day you woke up, everything felt different. During that time, you didn't allow yourself much time to delve into what the recent bond between you and Azriel meant, and he always agreed to give you your time. 

However, one day, out of nowhere, it all became too overwhelming. And you decided to run away.

You never said anything to anyone, and you closed the door so Azriel couldn't feel you. You knew it must've been painful for everyone, especially your mate, but being with all of them after everything that had happened was unbearable. You lived under a constant reminder of suffering, violence and blood. You couldn't stop seeing your hands full of blood every time you closed your eyes, guilty for the lives they had taken as if you had had any right to do so, but having to know daily that it was all justified. Velaris and the permanence of the rest of Prythian justified it.

So, you went far away, to the other side of the world, to the east. To the Continent. 

And life was not easy at all. You knew Azriel wasn't having a good time. After a while, the wall you both had built around the bond was beginning to crack and his emotions were seeping through those tiny cracks. You could sometimes feel his sadness, his pain… his anger. After a couple of minutes of heartbreaking grief, the pangs of anger would appear. You could tell what he was going through and, selflessly, you tried to think that your decision was for the best. 

Rhysand wrote to you almost daily. Paper with his handwriting constantly appeared around you and, although you never answered him, he always made it a point to let you know everything that was going on in Velaris. 

The first few days were the hardest. 

There was a heavy snowfall on the Continent when you arrived, something that had never been more than a welcome, tearing at your skin. The cold was so deadly and the gales so lethal that you couldn't leave the apartment you were renting for a whole week. Apparently, at that time, that was normal. The cold that fogged up the windows, that froze your limbs, and that made all signs of life disappear. 

Where are you? Azriel is very worried

Please, answer me 

Y/N 

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???? 

Cassian and Azriel are flying over Velaris. Can you just tell me, please? 

Y/N, we are very worried. Please.

Please.

You had a lot of tugging on your bond from Azriel. You could feel his desperation even through the walls of silence. Those were difficult days. The cold days were not comforting at all. 

However, as the months passed, with the cultural difference and the harshness of reality outside of the family you had known for as long as you had memories, so many hundreds of years ago, you gave in to Rhysand's wishes to return to Velaris on the night of the Starfall.

And that night… well, you hadn't told anyone you were going. 

But as you expected, Azriel was the first to know you were there. 

You heard the flutter of his wings before you saw him, towering in the moonlight against the dim lighting in the city in anticipation of the biggest celebration of the year. He stumbled as he fell, being one of the few times you had seen him unable to control his strength, staggering with his feet and hands to get to a safe distance from you. His breathing was rapid, almost erratic and his eyes were bright, crystallized. The stirring movement in your chest brought tears to your eyes. 

Azriel was there in front of you from the moment he had the slight feeling, because he knew the bond wasn't wrong. And his gaze reflected everything. Everything he wanted to say and everything he preferred to keep silent. You had never felt so strongly the need to be close to him; you hadn't even accepted the bond, but you felt as if you had just done it. His eyes roamed the features of your face, his expression contracting as if he was slowly processing that you were really there in front of him. 

You saw him raise one of his hands, the hands that had so often held you in the darkness and through the sadness. If you focused really well, you could almost notice how his body trembled at the closeness, with anticipation, just as your body shuddered at his presence. 

The effects of the bond were powerful. But that hadn't been what made you fall in love with him. 

Azriel took a tentative step forward, reaching out his hands as if in a trance, seeking to touch you to make sure it was really you in front of him and not some kind of hallucination. Your voice stopped him on his feet. 

“Hello, Azriel,” you could barely speak, that suffocating feeling of being close tightening your throat. His eyes moved quickly back to yours and watered once more, his breathing quickening again. You didn't know what you had awakened in him just by speaking to him once more after so long without seeing him, but it must've been the same thing that ignited in your body when he spoke. 

“Y/N,” he elongated your name, like a plea or a prayer, you weren't sure. Electricity coursed through your body in a matter of seconds and you felt your feet move before you could stop them. The emotion rising in your chest matched your mate's expression, nostalgic because it had been so many months since you had last been so close and yet more pained and suffering because you had been the reason all that pain now surrounded you both. 

You stopped just inches away from him, your hands itching with the need to touch him, to feel him close, to once again have that warmth that would warm and thaw your soul. His huge, beautiful wings were taut behind him, being that all his attention was focused on your every move. You saw him hold his breath as you approached, struggling hard to hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” you whispered the question, the air stealing your confidence, perhaps feeling a little silly and embarrassed about it. Suddenly, you felt too small under his gaze. 

“Okay?” the change in his voice was hardly imperceptible, sending shivers throughout your body, the panic of fear making its way into your chest, the bond tightening as if both ends were being pulled at the same time. “You left for a year without telling anyone. We went months without knowing if you were okay. I couldn't… I couldn't… feel you.” 

His voice became shaky, each word brimming with a tinge of suppressed anger. 

“Do you think I'm anything close to okay?” 

Yes, it was a stupid question. The knot in your chest grew rapidly, the back of your throat burning with pent-up tears. 

“I can't even enjoy the relief of seeing you now because… I'm so angry.” 

“I know…” you barely mumbled, lowering your head. How could you look him in the eye? Why did you think you had the right to go back as if nothing had happened? It was clear that things weren't going to be like they were before. You weren't sure about the others, but it seemed you had taken some of Azriel with you by disappearing like that. Proud you weren't of your actions, but you didn't know how to explain to his shattered features and cheeks wet with tears that, at that moment, you believed it was the right thing to do. 

The tears in his eyes prompted your own and you sobbed unable to contain the feeling. You tried to regain your composure, because you had no right to show such sadness when you had created it all. But Azriel was faster and you didn't even manage to put your hands under your eyes when his arms wrapped around your shoulders tightly. His wings also surrounded you and, although you had hardly noticed it because of the darkness, you felt his shadows dance around your feet. 

The warmth of his body was automatically welcome. How many times had you imagined that scene in your cold bed on the Continent, all alone and devastated from time to time, with memories invading your mind. Not many times did you regret your decision, except when you thought of Azriel. 

He sobbed too, his hands tightening on your arms, as if he was afraid to let you go again. He probably was. 

“I don't understand what made you think you'd be better off away from us… away from me, but I'm sorry.” 

His words surprised you, but a flood of feelings greeted you from the other end of the bond as Azriel let go and you couldn't think too hard. Crying swirled in the back of your throat. The level of pain and sadness that your mate was handling and had hidden from you for so long was so uncontainable that you almost doubled over, leaning over Azriel's body as you felt it rushing through you. 

“I thought you needed space. I know what happened with Hybern was too much for you and I didn't want to overwhelm you. But if I had known that decision would've made you decide you'd be better off away from me…” Azriel gulped, his voice full of feeling breaking off between words. “If I had known I promise you it would've been different.” 

You couldn't believe Azriel was telling you that. And the feelings coming from his end through the bond confirmed it to you. Azriel felt guilty about your departure. From moment one, when the panic and fear dissipated, Azriel never stopped feeling that it had been his responsibility that you decided to leave. And he couldn't have been more wrong. You loved him, had loved him long before the bond appeared, but the things that happened after Hybern, that affected you, had nothing to do with him. 

“Azriel…” 

“I'm supposed to be your mate. I'm supposed to support you, help you when you're down. I don't understand how I could fail at that. I'm sorry,” his voice was muffled as he spoke with his face hidden in your neck. At no time did he let go of you and his wings kept you warm. At that moment, that was home. 

“I promise it's not your fault,” you managed to speak, your face pressed against his chest. 

“I was supposed to be with you, accompanying you, but I-” 

“Azriel, you didn't do anything wrong,” you fought against his tight grip so you could look him in the eyes and the tears running down his cheeks broke your heart once again. 

“Then why did you leave?” 

You didn't have an answer for that and Azriel realized it when your lips pursed. He sighed, as best he could, and drew you back into his arms. Maybe he didn't need an answer at that moment, just having you by his side was more than enough. 

With the others it wasn't much easier. 

Rhysand and Feyre almost wept at your feet. Cassian, on the other hand, didn't hide it and deliberately filled your shoulder with tears and saliva. Mor lifted you into the air and almost didn't let you escape when Azriel started begging her to let you go already. Everyone cried. Possibly even Feyre's sisters shed a tear or two. 

You felt calm for a while. Complete, as if you were back in that house, in that home, before Amarantha and Hybern destroyed everything for you. 

But things couldn't be perfect. After the Starfall, you began to feel that anxiety again. Azriel could only tell by your body language, because you still kept your end of the bond completely closed to him and he couldn't feel the swirl of emotions coursing through your body. You had barely had time to get used to the familiarity of the situation when all the memories came flooding back. Perhaps you had blocked them out during your absence living on the Continent, you weren't sure, but the cries of war began to haunt you from the back of your mind. 

Azriel's shadows were also restless and that was another way he could tell something was going on. He was almost glued to your side all night, watching you out of the corner of his eye when you stepped away to talk to some friends. He never let you out of his sight. You knew where this behavior was coming from, but it never occurred to you to comment on it at any time. 

So, by that time, Azriel knew what was going on and you were sure you couldn't escape him. When he approached you and extended his hand in silent invitation, with the sound of conversations and drinks in the back of your head, you almost didn't hesitate to take it. His darkness enveloped you and, within seconds, you appeared in your room at the Town House. The party was now an imperceptible murmur. 

“Would you like to rest?” Azriel spoke, after spending several seconds standing facing each other. One of his hands ran over your face barely perfunctorily, but the warm sensation ignited too many things in your body. He arranged the strands of your hair that hid your face behind your ears with delicate, almost invisible movements. 

You only moved your head in response, up and down, under his watchful gaze. 

He almost crawled away, moving to your old bed that didn't have the same sheets as when you left. In fact, when you took a quick glance around the room, it looked too neat considering the amount of time that, presumably, no one used it. 

You shrunk at the thought of Azriel coming in regularly to clean it. 

With crystallized eyes you watched him move the comforter to make way for the clean white sheets waiting to be used once again after so long. 

Azriel turned to look at you, expectant. You didn't know if he was waiting for you to move to lie down or to ask him to leave so you could change into comfortable pajamas, but you did neither. Not when the emotions in your chest moved you, when they were more uncontainable now that you shared your mate's. Not when he opened up to you in such a vulnerable way, when he let you know that which for so long he kept to himself. Not when he gave you to understand that he was always waiting for you, even though it hurt him terribly that you had decided to spend all that time alone. 

So, for some reason, whether it was feelings or rationality, you approached him. You let yourself be carried away by nostalgia, by the silent desires of your heart, and you approached your mate with long strides. 

His expression went from neutral to confused as you got closer and you only remembered seeing it turn to surprise when you cradled his face in your hands and kissed him. 

It was rough and awkward at first, because your mate was completely transfixed for a few seconds. Maybe out of anxiety you counted ten. But, whether he was born from the same place as you or not, Azriel melted under your touch and as soon as he came to his senses he was kissing you back. It was just the kiss of an unaccepted bond, of a separated couple who held too many melancholy memories in their chests to bear on their own. 

Azriel wrapped his strong arms around your waist and bent his head to kiss you more deeply. You could feel the desperation and desire hovering tentatively in his demeanor, but he held back to give you a sweet, soft kiss; a kiss that said welcome, a kiss that urged you to stay by your side and never be separated from him again, a kiss that made you wonder why you had left in the first place. 

The softness of his movements were a direct contrast to your own. You cradled his face tightly, moving your lips over his as if second nature. Then you circled his neck, pressing him against you as if somehow you could hold him that much closer. You wanted him closer. 

But Azriel broke away, breathing in and out between gasps, and looked up at you with dark, glowing eyes. 

“Do you want this?” 

His hands on your skin burned. 

“Yes,” you answered quickly and tried to move closer again to kiss him, but he broke away again. 

“And are you going to stay after this?” 

Your eyes met his worried expression, thinly disguised. Ever since he'd opened his end of the bond for you, shedding any obstacle on his part that wouldn't allow him to feel you, everything you'd seen from him had been genuine. So you knew that concern was genuine and the mere conception generated pain in your heart. 

“I will stay,” you assured him, forcing your lips into a tight smile. 

Azriel studied your face trying to convince himself of your words, for he was an expert at knowing your body language, and you had no idea what he saw that convinced him and led him to pounce on your mouth once more. 

When the lightness settled into the bond, you were thankful you had never lowered your wall. Guilt suffocated you. 

But you kissed him back and followed your heart's desires, if only for one night. 

Azriel moved his hands along every curve of your body before removing your dress. If you hadn't stopped his movements, he would've surely ripped it off. His eyes followed every part his hands had explored and then his lips were on every inch of skin. Against the soft mattress and with your wrists held by his hands, you could only sigh and moan slightly at the way he explored your body. And yes, Azriel took his time. 

Before long there wasn't a single cloth separating the two of you and your mate simply couldn't keep his hands and lips still. Not that he wanted to, either. You moved your hands along his back, trying to avoid his wings, and moving your lips down his neck when he would let you because it seemed like all he wanted to do was eat you up with kisses. 

It wasn't long before he had you panting against him, with the sound of bodies colliding being the only thing your head could process at that moment. The tingling that coursed through your body was like no other you had ever felt; the wonders Azriel was doing with your body were unparalleled. He was panting too and every time he met your eyes it seemed to you that they were darker than the last time, but he never stopped holding you at any moment, never stopped hugging you as if his whole life depended on it. Maybe it did. 

The feel of his body against yours was indescribable, the movement and rhythm almost unbearable. You had never felt pleasure even remotely close to what he was making you feel at that moment. 

“Azriel…” you moaned his name, gripping his shoulders tightly, burying your nails as if it were your only stability. 

He cursed between gasps, increasing the pace and the force with which he held your waist. 

You were never going to get to touch the sky like you did that night, that much was clear. Even though your head was split in two, you looked into his eyes as you went through the most shattering, sweeping orgasm you'd ever had, reveling in the sounds that came from his mouth as he followed you to paradise. 

You thought it was going to be hard afterwards, but you fell asleep almost instantly. 

When you opened your eyes again, your mate's arms and legs were wrapped around your body and one of his wings was covering your nakedness and keeping you warm. You were facing him, chest to chest, and just looking at his peaceful sleeping face made you want to cry. Life was here, next to him, why couldn't you accept that? 

Getting out of bed without waking him up was quite a battle. Not as much as it was to sit at the foot of the bed, watching him rest, completely unaware of what would await him when he woke up. This time you were being selfish, you knew it, it was too cruel. But in your head there was nothing but disaster, pain disguised as stability. You couldn't have a good life with Azriel now and you didn't know if you could bear to see him to tell him after you promised to stay. You shouldn't have told him that, but how could you tell him otherwise? Maybe if he woke up at that moment you would stay… maybe that's why you sat there for so long. 

But finally you left, just like last time, in the middle of the silence, with his shadows following your feet and trying to keep you company. You felt a deja-vu as you stood in front of the door, thinking about how on both occasions you were thinking about what would happen if someone showed up to stop you. 

It didn't, in either case, and you knew the next day the exact moment when Azriel realized you had done it once again. He didn't try to hide his pain, he didn't have to, you deserved to know how you had made him feel. 

On the ship, on the way to the Continent, you fell to your knees as his pain stole your breath. 

azriel masterlist

angst (a) fluff (f) smut (s) masterpost

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ one-shots

tis the damn season (a)

a season of sadness wanted to come to an end. 'tis the damn season and you thought maybe you could go home and live with your mate the way it was meant to be…

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ series

the cliff, 2, 3, 4 (a) (f) ongoing

you never thought that the road to your mate could bring so much suffering…

more to come...

masterpost

hey guys! welcome to my main masterlist! here are my works that i hope you enojy as much as i did when i wrote them! here you can find:

bucky barnes masterlist

azriel masterlist

jjk masterlist

bts masterlist

probably more to come...

LOVING YOU IS MY FAVORITE LIE

— azriel x fem!reader

“ for either an eternity or a second, it seems as though it is impossible to take a breath. you crave for the sweet relief of cool air into your lungs, but no matter how much you tense your shoulders, it never comes. ”

Wanna be yours

pairing: azriel x reader

summary: When you fall alseep on his shoulder, Azriel does not know what to do, and everyone are being so damn loud

word count: 2.2K

warnings: this is pure fluff and azzie being utterly smitten and fussing shadows

a/n: hiii! this is the first fanfic i've written for acotar, i've fallen down the rabbit hole lately and made this blog. and i just had this idea and had to write it, thought i might as well post it. hopefully someone will enjoy it<3

Azriel thought he had learned how to master his cool mask. Beyond everything he had experienced as The Night Court’s spymaster, nothing had tested him more than his family – a bunch of busybodies who drove him insane most of the time. He had played the role of chaperone between Cassian and Nesta, had been the one to drag Cassian’s ass out of The Summer Court when he wrecked that building and, for the third year in a row now, he had to re-decorate after Cassian and Feyre decorated the living room drunk.

Actually, the more Azriel thought about it, Cassian was usually the one who tested his control and threatened to ruin his cool composure. 

And yet, despite years of practice, he forgot how to breathe when your head fell onto his shoulder. He had to force himself to remain nonchalant as your luscious scent overtook his senses. The river house was still loud and full of life, and the rowdy Winter Solstice party had not yet reached its peak. It was long past midnight and his family showed no signs of slowing down. The faelights above cast a golden light over their drunk faces as Mor continued to pour wine into all their glasses, declaring, “No one is allowed to go to bed until dawn!” 

Which was why, an hour ago, Azriel had found himself slipping away to the couch in the corner of the room. Varian had joined him shortly after, the two of them chatting quietly while watching everyone else continue their quest to get as drunk as possible. Azriel didn’t know if it had been wishful thinking, or just pure naivety, that had made him believe Winter Solstice would be calmer after Nyx was born, but he had been wrong. After Feyre and Rhys had put him to bed earlier -- Rhys had been the one to pull out the fancy bottles. 

While it warmed him to know that nothing had really changed, that his family was still the same after everything they had been through, Azriel was also the same; he still preferred to wake up the next day and remember what had happened the night before. 

Although, he doubted he would ever be able to forget anything that involved you. You had joined him and Varian in the corner a while ago, stumbling and falling next to him on the couch in a drunken mess. His shadows danced around you as you giggled to yourself, and Azriel thought that the sound of your laughter was the best Solstice gift he had ever received. 

The knitted gloves you had made and given to him earlier were a close second. 

“So your hands won’t get so dry from the cold,” you had told him shyly, your cheeks flushed, and his heart had nearly burst out of his chest. Two days prior you had spotted him coating his hands in a thick layer of the salve Madja made for him, his scarred skin tended to get tight and uncomfortable, and even worse so when the temperatures dropped and the air became crisp and dry. 

He most likely would not get the chance to wear them very often, the soft silky yarn was not made to withstand any fighting or training, and he could not bear the thought of ever losing or ruining them.

But it had still not stopped him from blushing as he opened the gift -- Cauldron, he blushed just thinking about them. The image of you rushing home and knitting him a pair of gloves after he told you how dry his hands became during winter... yeah, Azriel would never forget anything when it came to you.   

And when you sat so close, your body pressing tightly up against his, warm and inviting, there was just no way to overlook the emotions that sparked in his chest. Your words were slurred as you talked about an elderly female you had met at the market earlier that day.

Though, it did not matter that the story you were drunkenly telling him was so ridiculously incoherent, your soft voice still enthralled him. Because if you wanted to talk to him, well, he would listen to whatever you had to say. Always. 

But when your voice had faltered and your head fell to his shoulder, Azriel did not know what to do.

Varian was quick to join the others again when he noticed you leaning on him, leaving him alone with you in the corner. Despite Cassian’s and Rhys’s loud voices booming through the room, arguing about something that had happened during the snowball fight that morning, you had fallen asleep right there on his shoulder. Your lips set in a small pout and your dark lashes resting delicately against your cheeks. 

Azriel could not move, could still not breathe, in fear of waking you. A single shadow brushed against your cheek, soothing and gentle, and you let out a content sigh. It took everything not to wrap his arms and wings around you and winnow away; the urge to tuck you in under a heap of blankets and hold your body close overwhelmed him. 

And you were not even doing anything more than leaning on his shoulder. But it was all it took for Azriel to lose his cool completely. 

‘So beautiful’ his shadows whispered around him. It had been a year since you had first walked into the training ring, into his life, and the shadows had not stopped whispering about your beauty since. 

As you had introduced yourself as the new healer, employed specifically to help Madja with the Valkyries and their injuries from training, Azriel had struggled to restrain the shadows. He had never felt them be so curious before, swirling eagerly around him before darting off toward you. He had managed to call them back just before they reached you, but they had still caught your attention, and when he tried to apologize -- you had ignored him. 

Instead, you had focused on the fresh wound on his chest and scolded him for not having it looked at. He had been too stunned to say or do anything else. 

But the shadows had not lied; you were the most beautiful female he had ever seen. Your hair flowed around you in effortless waves, eyes shining with compassion, and you had not looked at him in fear or reluctance like most did. No, you had reprimanded him and forced him to sit down while you tended to his wound. 

You had owned his heart from that very first day, even if he had not told you that yet. 

“Feyre, look!” Cassian’s voice made him snap back into reality. “There’s your new painting!” Azriel glanced up only to discover that his family had turned their attention to the corner, looking at him and you with knowing smirks.

“Ohh yeah, I can see it,” Nesta mused and bit the inside of her cheek to stop the grin on her face from growing. “'The love-sick Spymaster and his dreamy Angel.'” 

Feyre could not stop her giggles even as she tried to end his suffering, “C’mon guys, don’t tease him. I think it’s sweet. They are taking things slow and at their own pace, leave them alone.” 

Azriel's face grew hotter, and yet, he remained as still as possible, afraid that any sudden movement would make you stir and wake up.

Though, he would have to agree; you were an angel. The kindest, most loving, and charmingly stubborn angel to exist in the world. In any world.  

“Sweet?” Amren rolled her eyes. “You need to grow a pair and tell her already, boy. We are all sick of watching you two dance around the fact that both of you want to devour each other whole. It’s nauseating.” 

Cassian let a loud howl thunder through the room but quickly smacked a hand over his mouth to stifle it as Azriel sent a icy glare in his direction. 

“Shut up,” he hissed, trying to keep his voice low. He let his gaze fall to you again, hoping the annoying chatter had not disturbed you. “You are going to wake her.” 

“I think you just proved our point, Azzie,” Cassian sniggered and shared a mischievous look with Rhysand, no doubt contriving more ways to get under his skin.

And the only response Azriel could think of was, “Shut up.” 

Thankfully, they seemed to take some pity on him as they returned to whatever conversation had kept them busy earlier.

Or perhaps, they noticed how his shadows had moved across the room, swirling along the walls in annoyance, ready to strike at any moment if anyone disturbed you. Azriel released a heavy sigh of exasperation, reminding himself that they were just a bunch of idiots and that he loved them dearly. 

“You know, your voice is far more comfortable to listen to than theirs,” you murmured suddenly, your voice full of sleep and still slightly slurred. Azriel couldn’t stop the shiver running down his spine, his shadows quickly drew themselves back and danced across your smooth skin, checking to see if you had been bothered or needed any assistance.

When he looked down your eyes were still closed, but a playful smile flickered across your face. 

Azriel’s mouth ran dry, “I’m sorry-- I tried to tell them.” 

“I know,” you told him and opened one eye to peek up at him, clearly amused. “I heard you.” You made no attempt to move away from him, and, for that reason, he did not attempt to move either. When you closed your eyes again he could’ve sworn you pressed yourself into his side a little bit closer and, Gods, had it always been so difficult to breathe? Azriel wasn’t sure anyone's presence had ever made him feel so utterly captivated. 

And, he just really, really, fucking adored you. 

Before he could think of a proper reply though, you spoke again, “We should do this more often. You make a good pillow.” 

When your lips twitched into a small smirk, Azriel knew you could hear how fast and hard his heart was beating, and his ears burned from his own awkwardness. So all he said was, “I think it’s time to get you to a real bed.” He shifted his body to get up, lifting his arm to wrap around you. “C’mon, I’ve got you,” he kept his voice low; only for you to hear. Your slender hand stopped him, pressing into his thigh dangerously high, forcing him to remain on the couch. 

“Noo,” you pouted. “Please don’t make me move yet... can’t we stay here like this for a couple more minutes?” It did not help his poor racing heart slow down. “...Or maybe even an hour?” 

And how could he deny you that when you looked at him with those beautiful eyes? How could he ever deny you anything? 

“Fine... here,” he mumbled and reached for an actual pillow, placing it in his lap. “At least lay down so you won’t strain your neck.” 

The smile that broke out over your face; it needed to be Feyre’s new painting. Perhaps he would have to let her into his head, let his High Lady see your joyful eyes and glowing face, to make sure your smile could be captured forever for everyone to see. 

As you settled down, your head now resting in his lap, Azriel could not help himself. He let his hand fall to your head, threading his fingers through your soft hair. His shadows settled on his shoulders, peering down at you as well, and he could not focus on anything else. The world could be on fire and he would not have been able to tear his eyes away from you. 

“Azzie, stop looking like that.” 

You glanced up at him again, brows knitted together in a small frown, and Azriel couldn’t stop himself from laughing, “Stop looking like what?” 

There was a moment of silence, the hollering of his family a distant background noise, as your eyes met his. The sparkle in his chest became more intense, impossible to control, and even as you tried to look annoyed with him, the smile twitching at the corner of your mouth gave you away. 

Eventually you huffed and curled into him a little more, “... you’re lucky you're so beautiful.” 

And as you pulled his hand away from your hair and laced your smaller fingers through his, Azriel knew there was no turning back -- knew that there was no one else. 

He raised your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it before whispering, “You are beautiful.” 

Azriel thought he had learned how to master his cool mask, but when a golden thread weaved itself between his soul and yours, Azriel realized he was more than willing to let his mask slip for you.

ps, english is not my native language, so if there was any spelling or grammar issues; sorry! Thank you for reading <3

I'm really disappointed with the azriel x reader fics, I mean you guys make reader suffer for him most of the time you make him be evil and crush his soul until there's nothing left and then azriel just gives a shitty apology and she forgives without hesitation? WTF NO, I WANT HIM TO CRAWL, BEG, SUFFER MUCH MORE THAN HER AND THEN YES reader FORGIVE HIM.

Sorry, I just wanted to get it out of my heart

Burning Hearts (Earlier Heartbreak and fire)

Moodboard Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

Pairing: Earlier Azriel x Reader, Eris x Reader

Warnings: Mentions sex, swearing, agains, more agains, mean!Mor. let me know if I missed something.

An: Hi! I'm really new to writing on Tumblr and I just wanna know if this is something that you would like to read more of? Ik it's not that good but I kinda like it.

Y/N was sitting in the gardens, waiting for her mate. Azriel had promised to actually show up this time as he had forgotten about the last three times. But today was different, today was their twenty year anniversary. But nothing in the last year had been different.

Since the Archeron sisters arrived no one had really paid her any attention, not her brother Rhys, who was busy with his dear mate Fayre, which she totally understood but the fact that he had taken away her duties? That was what upset her. Fayre had just walked in to their life and poof everything she fought for EVERY fucking thing was taken from her, even her mate. Azriel had been busy with Elain ever since she had arrived. Even after Elain got back on her feet it was always “Sorry Elain needs me” or “Something came up.” Now Az was one hour late.

Y/n decided to go and check the house of wind, where Az and Elain spent most of their time. Walking in to their room something horrific appeared before her. Her mate, her Azriel was fucking Elain. In their bed. The one that they slept in every night. As she saw the couple in the bed look up, searching for the source of the sound that she had created opening the door.“Y/n, I-I can explain” Azriel mumbled, standing up, naked.Instead of staying, knowing she was only going to get her heart broken, again, y/n windowed away to Rita's where she knew Mor probably where.

“Mor we need to talk!” She called out.“Not now y/n I'm busy.” Morrigan said, back to her face talking to some girl in the bar. “Please, I need you!” Yn mumbled and she felt all eyes on her. “I said I'M BUSY” Morrigan screamed, turning against her. Relising what the look on Y/N face ment. “Im leaving” Yn said winnowing away once again. How could she? Her cousin, the person she always had cared for? This time to someone she knew would take her in. Her best friend for many many years, Eris.

An: Tell me if you like it and I will probably make a (longer) part 2! 🩷🩷

Edit: Thank you all for the support I've gotten! I'm currently writing part 2 and I am probably soon going to be done! 💕

Burning Hearts pt.3

Moodboard Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

Word count: 1345

Summary: A dramatic High Lord/Lady meeting and a confrontational conversation between you and the Night Court.

⚠️Warnings: Drama lol, some against, a little fluff, makeouting, swearing, mentions to cheating, mentions about sex.

An: Well this part is filled with drama and if you've wondered about yn powers well this is your part...

“Hello big brother” You said as the Night Court arrived into the meeting room. Rhysand and a very pregnant Fayre, stood with shocked expressions, meaning that they’d overheard the conversation that you’d just had. Behind them you could see Cassian's broad frame tower and next to him, next to him was Azriel. Morrigan, Amren and Nesta seemed to stand behind them trying to get a good look at the drama unfolding right before them. But with Amren's height it was a miracle that I even could make out the top of her head.The look on his face was just plain sadness and envy, envy as he stared at the many parts where yours and Eris's bodies met. Shadows started to flood the floor as the cavalry from your home court stepped out of the large entrance to the room.

“Y/n/n please tell me that it's all a joke, you can't be Autumn's High Lady!” Rhysand asked you pleadingly.

“So what if I am? Let me get this clear. I am never ever going back to the Night Court. Not after what you all did, what you did.” You said looking accusingly at Azriel.

“Sweetheart I never meant to hurt you, Elain just needed some distraction but you are the one I love, you're my mate!” Azriel told me as he stepped forward and in the same moment Eris's hand flew out to stop him.

“If you take one more step towards her I will burn you to death.” Eris murmured to him, marking every word. “She's my mate! Not yours, she belongs with me! Elain was just a dumb mistake!” Azriel screamed at Eris as Rhysand held him back. “I stopped being yours the moment you cheated on me, and don't you dare to lay all this on Elain. She wasn't in a good phase back then, and we all know it.” You told Azriel. Behind you Helion coughed, symbolizing that the others had arrived. As you turned your back you felt someones hand on your arm, Nesta. The two of you had grown closer after the war. You would often sit in the library together, just reading.

“I'm so, so sorry Y/n. I shouldn’t-” She whispered to you. “Don't, you didn't have anything to do with it. If anything you really helped me, if you someday want a place to just run away to for a while you'll always be welcome in my court.” You told her warmly.

Once you and Eris had gotten seated you could feel the gazes the other High Lords threw at you. And you got it, you’d been your brother's right hand and now, now you were Autumn's High Lady, and everyone knew that the Autumn court and the Night Court didn't have the best relationship…

“So how's Autumn doing now that Beron’s gone? Are your people happy with their new High Lady?” Tarquin asked Eris. “Quite well. My father definitely wasn't the best of High Lords so there's much to do and many things to change but I'm lucky Y/N has been of great help and our people love her, but I mean who wouldn’t. We're currently very open to allies” Eris calmly answered the young High Lord. “Why would we trust you? Like father, like son.” Taunted Rhysand.

“Eris is nothing like Beron and the fact you suggest otherwise when I, your own sister, is married to him, really fucking shows how low you think of me, and of him. Eris is by far the best male I have ever met.” You told Rhysand, quickly erasing that smug smile off his face. You could feel Eris's affectionate stare resting at your face and you placed your hand in his and he firmly held on, almost like he thought you would disappear if he let go of you.

When the meeting was over you and Eris got shown to your quarters, a beautiful ensemble of rooms with marble floors and large windows. Eris quickly sat down at the couch dragging you down in his lap.

“Thank you, thank you for standing up for me.” He mumbled between the sweet kisses he pressed to your neck.

“Always, Eris, Always.” You gasped.

Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted the two of you.

“I'm going to kill whoever's behind that door. ” Eris murmured, his hair a mess. You chuckled quickly and said: “It might be a possible ally so I suggest that you don't.” Eris just rolled his eyes but a large smile was plastered on his face. “One minute just let me-” You said, fixing Eris's hair. “Thanks love!” he said sweetly, pressing a kiss to your cheek. Then he opened the door to reveal… Tarquin.

“I hope I'm not bothering you but I would like to discuss an alliance between our courts.” He told the two of you. You and Eris exchanged a surprised look, Tarquin had been a proud ally of Rhysand since the war against Hybern. “Come on in.” You said nicely. The three of you sat down at a low table. You quickly noticed that the rest of the Summer Court was missing.

“Your visions for your court align with mine on a level no other court does. We have been taking in emigrants from the Spring Court for a while and I'm guessing that you have done the same.” He paused and you nodded in agreement. “I want to create a place for them where before we have established them, they can live and be with friends and family. Would the two of you be interested in this?” he asked you.

“Definitely.” Eris said.

The rest of the evening went on smoothly for you and Eris. After Tarquin left you were visited by the Day Court and the Winter court, both interested in an alliance. When you and Eris went to bed smiles were painting your faces and you fell asleep in his arms.

__________________________________

You woke up quite early and decided to go down to the dining room, getting breakfast. You had left a note to Eris, in case you got stuck talking to someone. When you walked into the room you could see the whole Night Court sitting and talking to each other. Aside from them the room was completely empty. Suddenly you felt someone's arms around you, Morrigan. You quickly pushed her away, starting to walk out when you saw two males get in the way, cowering at the entrance.

“Y/n we need to talk.” Rhysand said. “Please just let us explain.” Cassian begged you. The pleading in his eyes was the only thing that made you stay. Cass was like a brother to you. “Fine. What do you want?” You asked them. “Your power, no one but me is able to keep them in shack.” Rhysand said “You need us and we need you.” A scoff unleashed from you. “So this is what it's all about, you want my powers under your control. Well guess what, no. I don't need you. My powers work perfectly without you and your help. I was blessed by the Mother herself. I deserve them and I'm going to use them to help my court, The Autumn Court.” You said as you walked out of the room, going to one of the many balconies in the castle.

Starting out into the ocean made your thoughts wave over you. What are your powers really? You knew that you had Rhysand’s ability but you could also create things from nothing. You could heal people and under the war against Hybern you had felt the cauldron. That was when you realized it. Why you didn't look like your brother at all with your long white hair And clear blue eyes. And why you weren't born with wings like him. Maybe the Mother herself sent down the explanation because you sure as hell wouldn't have realized it without help. You weren't his sister at all. No you weren't even your parents real daughter. You were created by the Mother. You were the Daughter…

Author's note: hehe

Taglist: @queerqueenlynn @se7enteen--black-blog @@mybestfriendmademe @cleverzonkwombatsludge @myromanempiree

⛸️Ice princess❄️

Pt.1

Word count: 741

Warnings⚠️: Swearing, nothing more really

A/N: Hi everyone, sorry that I haven't been posting. This part is pretty short but I think it's a good introduction to a new series! Keep in mind that I don't know a lot about Ice Skating or hockey! Love/ Thecowinblack 💕

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

Fuck. You were running late to practice and with nationals just a month away that was a really bad thing. Walking in through the entrance, a coffee in your hand, you quickly found your locker. Your college, Velaris school for sports, had an amazing rink. The only bad thing about it was that you were forced to share it with the hockey team, Velaris bats, a stupid name for a bunch of stupid jocks. With your skates in your hand you walked out of the locker room and went looking for your coach, Kallas. He stood by the rink looking out on the ice with an annoyed face, talking to a hockey player. And that was when you saw the guys playing, playing on the ice! This was your ice time, not those dumb idiot's. 

“Y/N finally! Azriel be a good guy and fetch your captain.” Your coach told you and the hockey player, Azriel. He nodded and skated out on the ice. While he got his captain your coach scolded you for running late. You explained that your math teacher had talked to you, wanting you to tutor some student. Kallias sighted but nodded and told you he'd get the speaker for your music so that you could get started right after the boys left the rink. He walked away and left you to take care of the idiots as the captain of the hockey team made his way over to you, Azriel shortly after him. 

“You're going to get your and you're teams stupid hockey shit of my ice right now I'll fucking kill you.” You told him, anger in your voice.

“Not going to happen sweetie, you were late.” The captain said.

“Rhysand, it's her ice time.” Azriel mumbled. Rhysand just rolled his eyes and that was when you snapped. You skated out on the ice and grabbed their hockey pucks. The team exchanged confused looks and you looked at Rhysand. 

“Alright everyone, let's give the ice princess her ice time. Come on guys.” He said as the rest of the team got off the ice. For a couple of seconds you met eyes with Azriel and he opened his mouth like he was about to say something but quickly shut it again. Kallias tapped your shoulder and told you to do your routine so that you could use the rest of your practice to hone your moves. Turning around to start you saw that the entire hockey team was seated on the benches beside the ice. You rolled your eyes and began, almost feeling like you were one with the music.

Your routine was going smoothly and you were ready to attempt the triple axel in the middle of the routine. You'd never really gotten it and you knew that this was your last chance. If you didn't ace it Kallias would switch it with a double axel. You lifted up in the air, feeling everyone's eyes on you and did it. You landed perfectly, and continued the routine with strikingly more confidence. You'd done it. You aced the routine, if you made this on the competition you might, no you almost certainly will make it to the olympics. When finishing the show with your double lutz you received a standing ovation from the skaters in your hall. Even some of the dumb hockey jocks clapped. Feeling bold you turned against them and gave them a bow, a smirk blooming on your face. Once again your eyes met Azriels and he raised his eyebrows and clapped. 

You threw yourself down on your bed, exhausted from all off the training you'd done today. You'd done it, the trick you'd been training on for so fucking long. Suddenly you heard a knock on the door and a note slipped under it. You jumped out of bed and quickly reached for it. It was an invite to a party at Rhysands house. Was this some kind of prank? A prank to either get her away from her dorm or something worse? The hockey team probably didn't like her after today's practice and they were famous for their pranks. “We’re hoooome!” you heard your roommate, Feyre call out. “Shhh she's probably tired, screaming won't help.” Nesta mumbled. Well usually you would be but after all the drama today? You couldn't wait to tell them about practice. “It's alright, you guys aren't going to believe everything that happened today!” You said.

Broken promises pt.4

Moodboard Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

Reader x Eris

Summary: New inhabitants in the Autumn Court and some real explanation to the last parts ending...

Warnings: Fluff

A/n: Hi everyone! I'm soooo sorry this took so freaking long to make. I've literally had no inspiration for this universe but I decided to write a short part and see if it comes back! I love you all /Thecowinblack💕💕💕

A/n 2.0: Oh and imagine that Nesta hasn't yet been forced to live at the house of wind, for the sake of my story line.

The realization hit you hard.Your whole childhood had been a lie. Everything from your moment's with your mother, no adopted mother to the moments with your brothers back in the war camps. Nothing had been real, because you weren't his sister. You didn't have a brother. You didn't even have real parents, The Mother obviously didn't count. Not more than the King of Hybern counted as Elain or Nestas father. Everything was like a long forgotten memory, a memory that always existed in your brain, just blurry. And now it was totally clear.

You'd been created by the Mother. As a tool on earth. You could see things, like a seer but instead of seeing the future you could see your creator's wishes. But still. There was something that still was blurry, something about your powers. The one's that even frightened Armen.

You realized that you'd arrived at your door. The door to the room that you and Eris shared. You opened the door. Wondering how the hell you were supposed to tell Eris this. Walking in you could see him spread out on the couch, reading something.

“Eris, I need to talk to you about something.”

__________________________________

You and Eris had arrived back at your estate a couple days ago. Everything that you'd learned you'd told him. From the fact that you weren't Rhysands sister to your powers. All of it. And somehow he hadn't been confused, he had understood.

“Y/N come on, I'm dying of hunger!” Eris called out from the staircase.

“I'm on my way!” You shouted back.

Running down to the dining room you saw Lucien and… Nesta. You quickly pulled her in for a hug.

“What are you two doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the Night court?” You asked them.

“Fayre and Rhysand made an ultimatum, stay in the House of wind with no alcohol and train and work in the library, bla bla bla or move out of the court. I thought of what you said at the meeting so I decided to come here.” Nesta said to you.

“I couldn't deal with Elain and Azriel anymore so I just decided to leave. You guys are okay with us staying here right?” Lucien told you and Eris.

“Of course, let's eat and then I can show you around Nes!”

Dinner was amazing and you later pulled Nesta with you, leaving your husband and his brother to talk alone.

“Do you want to see the library?” You asked her. Nesta nodded and you opened the large oak doors behind you. The walls were covered in bookshelves with books in all colors. You could see Nestas eyes lit up. You knew this library was bigger than any in the Night court, and filled with romance. You guided her over to that section and she quickly grabbed a couple books.

“Can the rest of the tour wait until tomorrow?” She asked you and you started to laugh and to your surprise did too. A big smile painted your lips as you grabbed your own book and the two of you sat down on the closet couch, just reading.

__________________________________

A/n: I know that this one was really short but I'll probably write another really soon! Bye byeee!

Taglist: @queerqueenlynn @se7enteen--black-blog @mybestfriendmademe @cleverzonkwombatsludge @myromanempiree @st4r-girl-official

Broken promises moodboard 🔥⚔️🍂

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

Broken Bonds - ch 2

a/n: prolly 4 ch's now :) sorry this took 800 years i kinda put off writing this bc i didnt want to disappoint but here it is.

ALSO SORRY THERE WILL MOST LIKELY BE ~7 WEEKS OF HIATUS AFTER THIS.

series summary: as azriel leaves for a long mission in vallahan, you find that clinging onto old bonds does nothing to heal them.

contains: angst, still mental health themes, pregnant y/n, off-page death, language. slowburn ???????

word count: 8506 (oh gosh)

ch 1 // ch 3

***

Many weeks passed, and with each day, the void left by Azriel's absence grew wider, but luckily you found yourself surrounded with some of the best people in the world, you thought. As always, Feyre was wonderful; she helped you get out of bed, she re-ignited your passions. She listened to you vent about your relationship, gave you advice and she constantly surprised you, always with a little gift from a new store in The Rainbow. However, one of the best surprises you received didn't come from Feyre.

About two weeks after Azriel's departure you had received a letter from your childhood friend Aiden and his now fiance, Malakai. You couldn't believe it, because it had been centuries since you'd seen Aiden, let alone been contacted by him, but on the other hand you saw Malakai weekly. He was Cassian's right-hand man, and you learnt from him after the wedding that Aiden had become a healer who travelled around Prythian, practicing in all the courts. Their jobs were different in every way, but they complemented each other perfectly.

It was unexpected, the letter, but you couldn't have been happier to hear from them, especially because the envelope held an invitation their wedding.

The wedding was a modest celebration, but all the Inner Court members attended to show their support for the happy couple. Kai had known Cassian, Rhys and Azriel for years, since training together for the Blood Rite, and had stayed in touch for centuries after. He was now Cassian's Lieutenant General who commanded the Night Court's forces where Cassian was otherwise preoccupied with Inner Circle business. You knew him from the occasional training session, and you were glad that the two of you had gotten a lot closer after the wedding. He had become fast friends with the rest of the Inner Circle, and after the wedding Aiden also befriended them. It was almost laughable how you had managed to miss that the male Kai talked so fondly about, the healer that had stolen his heart, was your friend. Your Aiden.

Even if the last few months of your own life were less than ideal, the newly-wed couple had become your rocks, and you knew they would eventually become amazing parents since they were so doting towards you and your baby.

You were still early in your pregnancy but careful nonetheless. Although you still planned to work for as long as you could in an attempt to maintain some sense of normalcy, you quickly realised that it was going to be somewhat of a struggle hiding your pregnancy from the rest of the Inner Circle for any longer. Training was not any easier as no one suspected anything, and Mor and Cass still held their monthly game nights when they drank like there was no tomorrow.

Under Feyre's insistence, you had lessened your field work and so majority of your days consisted of writing letters to the other High Lords and leaders in attempt to strengthen alliances and unite the various factions within Prythian, hoping that it would create a better world for your child to grow up in. Due to past efforts, relations with the Day, Dawn, Summer and Winter courts were strong, and you were certain you had their support. The Spring Court with Tamlin, and Autumn with Beron were other matters, however. Perhaps you would ask Feyre to use her sway with Lucien who could convince Tamlin to at least reply to one of your letters, but you had recently heard Lucian say that he had not visited Spring in a long while, instead opting to stay with the Band of Exiles. Then you thought about High Lord Beron. He was a grumpy, disagreeable High Lord, and also a problem for another day, you had finally decided.

The first week and a half after Azriel's departure, you had rarely gotten out of bed, even when Feyre had tempted you with tarts. You felt bad that Cassian looked so regretful when he couldn't cheer you up when you neglected morning trainings those first few weeks. He thought it was because you were missing Azriel, and you were, but even more so, you were worrying over your pregnancy. When Feyre had finally managed to get you out of the house, the two of you mainly walked up and down The Rainbow, visiting the old bookstores and trying all the new bakeries.

Aiden was staying in Velaris for his honeymoon, but he still insisted on working, the kind male he was. You found happiness in visiting his healing clinic, helping him organise records and patient data. Listening to stories of his travels had inspired you like nothing else could. He told you about the catacombs under the Dawn Court, the unique architecture and history of Day.

His stories made you miss your mate, of the adventures the two of you had planned for the future, but you vowed that one day you'd travel with Azriel again. You tugged on the bond softly, something you had been doing since he left to feel connected. You weren't even sure if he could feel it though, since he never 'replied'.

Over the course of around two and a half months, you started to feel lighter. When you thought of your mate's return you started to feel optimistic. Maybe a break was the right decision, no matter how unplanned it initially was.

***

You had been spending most of your Sundays in Aiden's clinic, him helping with the pregnancy and keeping you company. You were browsing his bookshelves when you stumbled upon a book about Illyrian anatomy. It hadn't fully dawned on you yet that the child you were bringing into this world was likely going to come out with wings, but Aiden assured you the birth was not going to be too difficult seeing that you were half-Illyrian yourself. Your father had been an awful person, but at least he gave you the gift that would allow you to start a family with the one that you loved.

Obviously, a lot of trauma and pain occurred at a health clinic, but there was lots of warmth and beauty too, and it was becoming more apparent to you than ever. The young fae that lived in Velaris would occasionally come knocking to sell their sweets, or on quiet afternoons, Aiden would seek them out and give them some harmless (but hilarious) potions that would do crazy things, like temporarily turn their bodies invisible, colour their hair an electric blue, or even make them grow scales. Aiden was the finest healer in Prythian, and you were disappointed he could not stay for much longer than his honeymoon period before he needed to return to the road.

One such Sunday, the 12th week of your pregnancy had finally arrived. You were looking at your reflection in the full-length mirror, hand on your stomach.

You were showing. This was real.

You admired the swell of your stomach under the light, flowing dress. You looked... healthy. Glowing, even. Your features were not so hollowed out anymore, your cheeks fuller and eyes brighter, filled with shine. You felt better than ever.

But it was heartbreaking that your mate's absence had caused this, in a roundabout way. You closed your eyes, taking in this special moment. You reached to tug on the bond, and you swore you felt a glimmer of warmth before the string in your mind felt cold once more.

Aiden's voice dragged you out of your haze. "Y/n, are you ready to do the scan?" he asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

An "ultrasound" is what Aiden had called it. On his travels to the mortal lands, he had studied in the most advanced medical institutions on offer and was bringing this human technology to Faerie. This ultrasound was supposedly a sort of test they did on mortals with child, to verify the health and gender of the baby, and he was going to perform one on you today with the help of some of his healer magic to help.

"Just lay back on here, your dress should be stretchy enough for you to just lift it up..." Aiden trailed off as he fiddled with a tub of gel and a weird device, he explained he was going to lightly put on your stomach.

"In the Mortal Lands, they have these screens that show the mother the baby, but since I couldn't lug back a large computer, I'll compensate with a simple incantation. Unfortunately, this does mean you won't be able to keep any physical images of your baby."

You frowned slightly. You didn't even know it was on the table, to keep pictures of the little one growing inside you. You sighed a little as you readjusted the pillow and Aiden got to cleaning up. They would've been nice for Azriel to see, you supposed.

"Oh. That's okay, there's nothing you can do about it," is what you settled on saying. It had been centuries since the you had seen Aiden again, and after being somewhat abruptly pushed into each other's lives again... it was awkward, sometimes.

"I trust you," you added, "But exactly how many times has this magic-and-mortal-device combination been used for ultrasounds?"

Aiden flashed you the same boyish grin that got the two of you out of trouble when you were younger and given that your mother was... well, who she was, that was a difficult feat indeed. It was one of the reasons you had stuck with the slightly infuriating male who stood before you today; he would always protect you. Of course, this was until you had lost touch. "Well..." he pretended to do a thinking pose. You hoped he was joking.

You narrowed your eyes at him, but you doubted he could even see you. "Aiden? This is safe, right?"

"Just kidding, y/n. Of course, it is safe for use and has been trialed numerous times."

"Not funny." You muttered to yourself.

Under Aiden's instruction, you lifted up your dress until it was just under your bust. The masses of fabric were somewhat blocking your vision, but even so, you lifted your neck slightly to try see what Aiden was doing.

"It's interesting how mortals compensate for not having magic, this gel is especially interesting," he mused. He had become such an intellect, always curious and ready to learn. You were somewhat shocked to see what he'd made of himself, so different from that class clown you used to know.

You couldn't do more than make what hopefully came out as a sound of interest, as you weren't really able to see what "gel" your friend was even referring to.

"This might feel a bit cold," Aiden said, before he applied a thin layer of a wet, smooth mixture to your stomach. "It'll help this little machine to see your womb."

"Sure," you reply. What else could be said?

"Oh! Wait." You add abruptly. Aiden stopped his movements instantly. "I... don't want to know the gender." You finished, chewing your lip slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yet. I mean, yes. I don't want to know yet. I'll find out when everyone else does, whenever that is."

Aiden sent you a confident smile. "Okay, y/n/n."

After that, he seemed to sense your nervousness, and so after the gel was applied, Aiden placed a comforting hand on yours, which were busy pulling at the seams of your dress. The clothing suddenly felt too thick, and the breezy material no longer cooled your skin, but instead made it itch, and the back of your neck felt hot. He changed the positioning of your bed with a small flick of his wrist, in a swift motion. Slowly, your upper body rose to a sitting position while your legs stayed flat. This way, you could see what was happening.

Then you heard it, and suddenly, there was too much to say.

Unmistakably, there was thumping. Muffled thumping that seemed to echo around the room.

Aiden had big grin on his face. He met your eyes only for a moment before returning to the task literally in front of him. You realised he was concentrating hard on a small floating projection, a clear screen that showed all sorts of charts and figures. In the center of the clear screen there was a black rectangle that had something moving in it. Different shades of greys and white danced across the screen in pixelated motions but they all moved together, as if they were forming something whole.

"Is that...?" you asked softly. You couldn't get the words out, because your heart was in your throat. It was difficult to see, from the weird angle that you observed the screen in, but it couldn't have been anything else.

Just like when you were kids, he read your mind.

"Yes, y/n," he breathed softly. His fingers floated across the keyboard on the bedside table. which you suspected was somehow connected to Aiden's magical projection.

The perfect mix of fae magic and mortal engineering.

At last, Aiden spoke.

"That's the heartbeat."

***

It had been 2 weeks since that first ultrasound, and you were talking with Feyre about breaking the news to the rest of your friends. The two of you were sitting in the courtyard, the late afternoon sun casting its warm, friendly glow. You marveled at the beauty of the gardens a "Oh, I'm so excited for you! Your baby is going to be spoiled like crazy," your friend exclaimed fondly, a big grin on her face.

Hearing Feyre's enthusiasm calmed your nerves immensely, and you reached for your High Lady's hand. "I wish Az was here," you admitted, "if he was, I'd do something bigger. I think I'm just going to tell everyone at dinner."

Feyre's glance softened at the mention of your mate. "That sounds good, but y/n, I hate to mention this now but when are you going to tell Azriel?"

You bit your lip, averting eye contact. "I'm not sure, actually. Whenever's best, I suppose."

"You can be honest with me, y/n/n. I just think you should tell him."

"Of course I'm going to tell him."

"But your baby's going to be born before he gets back, surely you're not going to have him come home blind-" Feyre said insistently.

You started to get a little annoyed. "I will tell him, Feyre. He will not 'come home blind'."

But were you sure? Would Azriel even reply to your letters? Would he care enough to write more than his usual 5 sentences? A pain ran through your heart as you recalled the last time you wrote was about a month ago. He hadn't replied. You didn't want him to be distracted on the mission, or worse, hurt himself because he was worrying.

Feyre could read your expression. "Are you really thinking about lying to your mate? About your child. His child, y/n. It's Azriel's too."

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. "Gods, Feyre. You think I don't know that? Stop pushing this, it's my decision and if I want to leave it until he comes back... then that's on me." But deep down you knew she was right.

Your words just hung between you as the conversation ended. You didn't believe what you just said, and by the silence that fell, you could tell Feyre didn't either.

The two of you sat in your respective chairs and avoided eye contact, Feyre was fiddling with the sash on her dress, and you were looking into the sky, eyes squinting as you immediately regretted staring straight into the sun.

"Feyre, darling?" called Rhys' smooth voice. You glanced at your wristwatch, which indicated Feyre and Rhys' meeting was about to start. You sighed a little; you would have to apologise later.

"Here, Rhys!" Feyre quickly gathered her things but put a comforting hand on your shoulder as she passed. "Bye, y/n."

Then Rhys whisked Feyre away, leaving you alone in the courtyard.

You didn't want to keep sitting in the courtyard rethinking your conversation with Feyre. Or perhaps was it an argument? You quickly left the gardens as soon as the sun started setting, in hopes you would bump into another one of your friends. You walked towards the door to the main house and luckily, the moment you turned around after closing the door, there was Kai, gathering some items in a satchel, looking like he was about to leave.

You wondered if you should bother him as he looked busy, but before you could sneak off, it seemed that Kai used his big-brother senses because he turned around and spotted you.

"Y/n! My favourite person." He beamed, tucking strands of his golden hair behind his ears.

"I think Aiden might take some offense to that statement." You approached him smiling, yet slightly embarrassed he had almost caught you jumping over a couch.

"I'm sure he agrees with my sentiment." Your friend smiled.

"Going somewhere?"

"Just off to the Night Markets to buy a sheath for Aiden's present. It's a dagger, from my last mission overseas," He cocked his head slightly, as if trying to see if you were okay. "Would you like to join me?" Kai broke into a beaming smile. "We can get ice-cream."

You couldn't help grin as his words lit you up. The two of you used to always get ice-cream together, it was your thing. The ice-cream stores in Velaris changed their flavours daily, always a mix of aromatic spices and exotic fruits that somehow blended perfectly together. It was well-known amongst all your friends that Night Court ice-cream was one of your favourite things, and almost every birthday you got a tub of your favourite flavour, whatever it was. It reminded you of happier days, and some of your favourite memories consisted of you, laughing along with Kai over large cones of the sweet, icy treat.

"Really? I'd love to!" This is exactly what you needed to help you take your mind off your disagreement with Feyre. "I hope I'm not intruding though."

"You could never intrude. Besides, I could use another set of eyes. You've seen my wardrobe; I don't exactly choose the most stylish things." He bumped your shoulder affectionately.

You snickered. "That I have. Then you're lucky I took pity on you and offered my services to you."

Ever the drama queen, Kai lowered himself into a deep bow, "I thank you then, y/n."

Being with Kai had lifted your mood almost instantly. You had confided in him through your highs and lows, and when you had shown such intimate parts of yourself to another, it was easy to settle into comfortable companionship. He was like an older brother to you, one of your closest friends.

You watched Velaris' bustling marketplaces in awe as Kai soared through the air, his wings flapping. It had been a while since you had come out to see the signature Night Markets, but it was just as breathtaking as you remembered. There were crowds everywhere, and each store had twinkling lights. It was dark now, the light from each stall was illuminating the air around it, the mountains were shining a soft white from the snow, and you felt like you had returned home to the familiar sights, sounds and smells.

Kai led you to a few shops, and gods, it was lucky you were there. Somehow, he managed to pick out some of the strangest, weirdest designs that there were. It took almost 20 minutes of convincing before Kai discarded a sheath that was covered in ridiculous dyed fur that also had googly eyes stuck to the front, with eyebrows that jiggled when you removed the dagger.

"It's like an adorable fluffy animal!" He exclaimed.

"Kai, no. It looks like a mutilated toy rodent. I think I see bugs moving in the fur, and it smells like Cassian after training."

Kai whistled. "Harsh critic."

You shrugged, looping your arm through his to drag him back through the door. "I just saved your marriage, my friend."

Eventually you two of you picked a simple design. A sleek black design with silver buckles that was functional enough to store a pen or two, as well. Perfect for Aiden. Knowing him, he probably would use the sheath to store some of his equipment for operations, and the like.

"Thanks for helping me tonight," Kai smiled. "I owe you one."

"Don't mention it. All you ever need to owe me is some ice-cream." You almost jumped when you saw the old gelateria where the two of you frequented decades ago. Had it really been decades?

Kai seemed to be thinking the same thing because the moment the two of you sat down, he smiled, wistfully asking, "Do you remember the last time we came here?"

You hummed in thought, trying to come up with an answer. "I don't think I do. Must've been to celebrate something?"

Kai grinned. "No, not to celebrate. I remember," he started.

"Shocking how someone so old has a better memory than me." you smirked.

"Hush, y/n/n. Surely you remember, as it concerns your favourite person."

"My favourite person? So, not you then," you laughed.

"I'm wounded." Kai replied, deadpan. "No, anyway. I mean Azriel. You came to me after a big fight with Azzy."

You opened your mouth in shock. "I can't believe you still remember that!"

"Well, hard to forget," he said, dryly. "I had never seen you so upset." His expression turned pensive and worried, as if he was sensing the truth in your expression, which had turned from shocked to anxious with one sentence. He was sensing that maybe you weren't letting on exactly how saddened you were regarding the situation with Azriel. Of course, only Feyre and Aiden knew you were with child, and this factor contributed greatly.

"You know, because now you two are doing a lot more than just argue..." Malakai tried to lighten the mood, and for a second it worked. Then he did that stupid thing that mortals do; he made a "kissy face"... and then some.

Your eyes widened, but you had a big grin on your face. "Gods, Malakai! You did not just do that in public!" but your friend just smirked, innocently shrugging his shoulders. You wouldn't stay mad at him anyway. Never could.

The two of you finished your cones in silence.

"Let's walk around for a bit," Kai said, wiping his hands with a napkin.

"Okay, sure."

You and Kai walked behind the bustling marketplace to a lone bench where the two of you used to come all the time. It was your spot.

"I do have something to tell you, though."

"Oh yeah?" Kai looked as if he was trying to guess your news.

You took a breath in to steady yourself. "I'm telling you before most of the others... because I trust you. And I love you, you've always been..." another small inhale. "Maybe you can help me figure out what to do."

Kai swiveled so he was facing you more. "Of course," he smiled. "You know I'd do anything for you."

You smiled gratefully. "You may know that Azriel didn't really leave me on the best terms... Well, uh, he didn't leave me, specifically, you know, but I just mean that we'd argued before he left." You rambled. "A lot, actually. We argued a lot."

Kai put a comforting hand on your arm. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready," he said gently, kindly.

Kai kindness overwhelmed you, but lately it had felt like Feyre was treating you a bit like a broken doll, and she was just waiting for you to finally crack. Being doted on wasn't a bad thing, but it felt suffocating especially now, and you felt Feyre's time was wasted when you realised that only one thing would make you feel better about this situation, you were too much a coward to do. It should've been easy, telling Azriel he was going to be a father. You were good at writing, letters especially. So why couldn't you tell Azriel?

Everything is just more complicated when love is involved.

You cleared your throat. "Sorry. I'm fine. I'm ready to talk about it, I promise."

"Okay," Kai nodded. "No pressure."

"I'mfourteenweekspregnantandAzrieldoesn'tknow." The words spilled out like a waterfall. A small brook, perhaps. All in one motion but in a low whisper. There was no going back now, but it seemed Kai hadn't heard your jumble of words.

"You're... what?"

"Pregnant. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and Az- Azriel doesn't know." you were dangerously close to tears, but you felt a million times better now that you had told someone else.

Kai was silent for a dangerously long time. Then his mouth curved into a small grin. "Wow, y/n. I'm so happy for you!" and then he clarified, upon seeing your slightly startled expression. "I know you've been wanting to start a family for a while now, and you're the most deserving person to have your dream come true." He took a deep breath in. "I'll admit it's difficult that Azriel doesn't know, but you're strong, and we can work through this together."

You had started to cry. "S-sorry, I'm happy too, I- I don't know what to do. I've been k-keeping it from you for so long, and I just don't know what to do." Your voice broke.

"You don't need to apologise, I get it. It's going to be difficult, y/n, but you don't need to do it alone."

"You've kept a pregnancy from Aiden before?" you sniffed.

He smiled softly, wiping a trickling tear. "No, but I know relationships take work. What you and Az are going through is only natural, and you're both the strongest people I know. I see the bond you two have, and it's like no other I've seen." He stretched over the table to wipe away a tear falling down your cheek. "It's beautiful, y/n. I know you, and I know Az. He will support you, and whatever you choose, so will I."

You sniffed again, wiping away more tears. Gods, there were a lot of tears on your face. Kai pulled a large, thick handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to you.

"Aiden makes me carry it around, the massive thing. A real inconvenience. However, I've been told it makes an excellent torniquet." the warrior shrugged.

You managed a laugh. "Thanks."

Kai's expression softened. "Are you happy?"

His question caught you by surprise. "I've been processing these part few weeks. We were fighting because just noticed Azriel got increasingly unenthusiastic about our dates. About me," you felt the lump in your throat as you spilled your heart out. "S-sometimes I feel the b-bond go cold. Since he's been gone I can barely feel it, Malakai. I have to reach oh-so-far for something that should be permanent. Something that should be natural, and easy."

Kai wrapped you up in a hug, and you rested your head on his shoulder.

You took a pause. "But am I happy? I think so. If I can work this out with Az, then I will be. Really happy." You smiled slightly at the thought.

Kai nodded knowingly.

"Looks like you've only gotten wiser with age," you noted, slightly sad. Where'd all the time gone?"

"I guess we've both just gotten busier these past few centuries. You were sorting out your... confusing friendship with Azriel," you let out a laugh at that. Confusing was certaintly one word you could use to describe the relationship you and Az had before mating. Kai continued. "Well, and then you found out you were mates, but I was busy training here while trying to keep my relationship from my parents."

Your smile dropped a little. "But they were at your wedding, are you guys still okay?"

"Thanks for your concern, but we're all good. It's just that when I was younger, I saw how the villagers treated my sister when she confessed to me she favoured females, and word got out. It was a miracle no one blabbed to my parents before she finally told them decades later," he smiled. "I'm lucky my family are so supportive."

"I have a pretty great family too," you squeezed his hand.

The two of you sat in silence for a beat, smiling.

"Wait, before you said '"most" of the others know about your pregnancy. Who else knows?" Kai asked after a moment.

"Well, Madja, obviously, and Feyre and Aiden."

"My Aiden? He kept this from me?" The Lieutenant's eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head. Aiden was definitely about to receive a stern lecture about how his wedding vows promised no lies.

You laughed. "Well, smart guy, your Aiden is a healer, and I couldn't exactly go visit Madja because Rhys is always there on High Lord business, and Cass occasionally brings his soldiers there for checkups, you know this. Besides, Aiden's clinic is more private, and I like getting priority service," you replied, smug.

Kai sighed, "And here I was thinking that I was the only one getting that service. When you think you know someone." he tutted.

"Well, people surprise you." You couldn't help but bitterly think "Just like my mate did."

"But I know your news before Cass?" When you nodded, he did a celebratory fist pump. "I always knew I was your favourite. $5 for me, baby."

"Don't be silly, I love you Illyrian babies all equally. Wait, you guys bet on me?"

Kai snorted, choosing to ignore your latter comment, but the gleam in his bright blue eyes told you all you needed to know.

You just rolled your eyes. "When do you think I should tell the rest of our friends?"

Kai composed himself as he realised you were jumping back to serious conversation. He cleared his throat, and said, "Well, you want to tell them all together, right?"

When you nodded, he continued. "So, logically, unless you want to tell everyone while they're drunk playing board games, or drunk, dancing at Rita's, I'd say your best bet is at our group dinners, but you know, tell them early, so they're not too drunk." He gave a small smile.

"That's what I was thinking. Gods, when's the next dinner again?"

You counted what day of the week it was in your head. If you guys usually gathered for dinner on Fridays, but the Velaris Night Markets occurred on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays... but Thursdays were when Feyre and Rhys had their meetings (which you remembered Feyre had gone to that afternoon), it would mean that the next family dinner was...

"Tomorrow," Kai finished helpfully. "Friday."

"That's soon," you tried not to sound too panicked.

"Luckily you have me to help you then."

***

The Inner Circle sat around the grand dinner table in the beautifully adorned dining room of the Night Court. The soft glow of candlelight danced on their faces, creating an atmosphere of warmth and camaraderie. Feyre and Rhysand were engaged in a lighthearted banter, their eyes filled with affection, while Mor, Amren, and Cassian laughed along, their spirits high. Nesta had her hand on Cassian's shoulder, and Elain was talking with Nuala. Aiden and Kai were sitting across from you, Kai's eyes trying to meet your own. Tonight would be the big night.

As the conversation lulled, your heart pounded in your chest, your hands clammy with nerves. Taking a deep breath, you gathered your courage, your voice slightly shaky but resolute, and cleared your throat to gain everyone's attention. Feyre's eyes met yours with a flash of concern, then understanding. You sent her an unsure smile and nodded slightly, notifying her that you were ready to share the news with your family.

"I... um, I have something important to share with all of you," you began, your eyes flickering with a mix of vulnerability and determination. You looked towards Kai and Aiden; both of them looked ecstatic, and you could tell Kai was reigning in his emotions. The room fell into an expectant silence as every member of the Inner Circle turned their gaze towards you, their expressions a blend of curiosity and concern.

Your eyes darted around the table, locking with each person's gaze, drawing strength from their unwavering support. You continued, "I'm pregnant."

The room erupted in a cacophony of reactions. Cassian's jaw dropped; a half-chewed bite of food forgotten in his mouth. Rhysand, startled by the unexpected news, coughed and choked on his wine, while Feyre, caught between annoyance and concern, hit his shoulder. She caught your eye and sent you a look that apologised for Rhys' behaviour.

"He doesn't mean it like that!" she mouthed. For the first time in your life, you hoped your expression betrayed your thoughts. "I'm sorry", you were trying to convey. "I love you". Feyre nodded once and smiled, and you knew she understood.

Mor was the first one to say something. She let out an excited gasp, clapping her hands together. "Y/n, that's amazing! You're going to be a wonderful mother," she exclaimed, her eyes shining with genuine joy.

You felt everyone else's eyes on you. Amren had narrowed her eyes, and Varian was looking quite uncomfortable. Oh dear.

You felt a bittersweet mixture of relief and apprehension wash over you as you glanced around the table, searching for comfort amidst the tumultuous sea of emotions. Everyone looked pleased though, it seemed the extra 5 seconds of processing time had done wonders. Even Amren had a slight smile on her face now, and Varian looked less... strange.

Rhys, having gathered himself now, spoke next, a beaming smile on his face. "I'm so happy for you, y/n! You and Azriel deserve this. How'd he take the news?"

You hesitated, your eyes dropping to your plate, tracing the intricate patterns etched onto the fine China. You could feel the glances of Feyre, Aiden and Kai on you.

"I... uh.... haven't told him yet," and then there was silence in the room again.

The weight of your words was sinking in for your friends.

"I don't want to get into it now, and- and ruin our evening," you said, voice shaking slightly. Perhaps you'd already ruined the evening, if the heavy silence was any indication. "But we haven't exactly been on the best terms lately. We were fighting all up until he left, and I- I can barely feel the bond anymore. He hasn't written me back in a month.

With that bomb dropped, you looked up to the ceiling, blinking away tears.

"I'm scared."

Cassian, recovering from his initial shock, reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on your trembling one. "We're here for you, y/n," he reassured you, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth. "And when Az comes back, we'll figure it out together. You won't be alone in this. I can't believe it. You're pregnant." He finished with a joyous laugh.

Aiden chimed in, "We love you, y/n. As long as we're here, you don't have to do anything alone."

"You have the best support system possible; one that has been formed through years of hardship. No bond is stronger than this group bond, y/n." Kai continued. "Your pregnancy will be a beautiful thing."

Nesta spoke up next. "You can count on us for anything, y/n/n. I know you must have concerns, but now you don't have to carry them alone." You sent her a grateful smile, to which she returned.

"It'll fly by, the 10 months. Enjoy the process. Plus, you'll look great with the pregnancy glow." Feyre laughed.

Then Elain cleared her throat - daintily, if that was possible. "I'm happy for you too, y/n. Your child is lucky to have you as a mother, and... I know we're not too close, but you can count on me." She smiled; her cheeks rosy as all the attention turned to her.

You were in shock. That was the most you'd ever heard Elain speak, especially in front of everyone. You reached across the table and lightly put your hand on hers.

Surprisingly, Amren said, "You're in capable hands, y/n. It'll be such a joy having another Nyx around." The table chuckled at her sarcasm, but you knew she meant it with no malice.

"That means more than you could know. Thank you, everyone."

"You know how Azriel is. He may draw back, but he is always there for the ones he loves and trust me when I say you're on the top of his list." Mor said. "I don't know how he'll react to the news,"

Your smile dropped a little. Thanks for the confidence boost, Mor.

"But I know that every relationship has its ups and downs. You've been there for him since the day you arrived, and he's been there for you, too. I can promise you that this experience will only help the two of you grow closer." Mor's words were sincere.

As the Inner Circle rallied around you, offering support, reassurance, and a safe space to share your fears and uncertainties, you felt a flicker of hope ignite within you. Even Varian had bowed his head in respect. In that moment, you realized that you were not alone in your journey. With your loved ones by your side, you knew you had the strength and resilience to face whatever lay ahead. When the time came to reveal the news to Azriel, they would help you navigate the delicate path, giving you the support and courage, you needed.

And so, amidst the clinking of cutlery, the sound of Feyre's exasperated sigh as Cerridwen chased after Nyx (who'd run into the room looking for his mother), and the warm laughter that filled the House of Wind's dining room, you embraced the love and acceptance that you had received, finding solace in the knowledge that no matter the challenges you faced, you would never have to face them alone.

You tugged on the bond once again. Once. Twice.

And then you felt it. A pull from Azriel. Stronger than you'd felt in months.

***

"You guys really didn't have to plan all this," you smiled fondly at your friends, who insisted on throwing you a baby shower. Feyre later told you that she spent almost an hour explaining the mortal concept to Amren and Cassian, the latter thinking it was about hygiene. It had almost been 3 weeks since you told your friends at that fateful dinner, and they had embraced your news with love and kindness, just as Aiden, Feyre and Kai all insisted they would.

"Nonsense, y/n. You deserve the best baby bath achievable." Cassian beamed.

"Shower, Cassian." Feyre reminded him.

"I just showered," Cassian rolled his eyes. Nesta slapped his shoulder, and he quickly stopped his jokes when she gave him a kiss. You suppressed a snicker as you watched her. Cassian looked at her so lovingly, and Nesta, however annoyed she may be, always returned that look with equal fierceness.

You looked to your High Lord and Lady. Rhysand was sitting in a plush armchair, and Feyre was perched on his lap, his hand draped across her waist, fingers fiddling with a loose thread on her cream sweater. Nyx's addition to their family had only made them closer, and you could only pray that your little one could provide the same effect.

It was obvious to a total fool that Varian was irrevocably in love with Amren. His gaze was constantly on her, his eyes soft and longing, as if he knew something everyone else didn't. Amren rarely shared personal stories with the Inner Circle, but maybe she'd told the prince of Adriata something she hadn't yet shared with everyone else. You had a feeling Amren was going to find her eternal happiness with him. After all, he was here casually lounging with the Night Court's elite Inner Circle, wasn't he?

Then you looked to the pile of presents that your closest friends had prepared for you. The pink and blue streamers your friends had pinned around the room. Feyre said she was incorporating another tradition into this baby shower, something called a 'gender reveal', that she said was a celebration where loved ones of the mother gathered so she could make the gender of her child known. The room laughed as Rhys recited some adorable thing Nyx had done that morning, and for a second you were just lost in the haze. These wonderful people had chosen to spend time with you, and all vowed to support you.

The baby shower and gender reveal passed in a blur. It was just a mess of happy memories. You opened and accepted everyone's gifts (even the sharp "toy" Amren had gifted for "teething purposes". Perhaps Azriel would like that one.), and Nuala, Cerridwen and Elain had done an amazing job with the cake, which had either pink or blue frosting inside.

Since you wanted Aiden to keep the gender a secret, you had no idea what colour was in the cake either, and you were equal parts excited yet slightly nervous. If you thought hearing your baby's heartbeat made it real, celebrating this moment with your friends made it unreal. This was truly, really, definitely, happening.

You cut into the cake and it was...

"Pink!" you exclaimed. "Pink! She's a girl!"

Your friends whooped and cheered, Feyre rushed up to hug you, and Cassian immediately bobbed down to your stomach.

"A baby girl! Aw," he cooed. "Uncle Cass is going to spoil you!"

You laughed at Cassian, but he had lifted the mood tremendously. You couldn't believe it. You were having a girl, and you knew she would be perfect.

After the celebrations, Kai came and found you flipping through a photo album. It had detailed most of your and Azriel's relationship, and now there was a chapter all about your pregnancy.

"Thinking about him?" Malakai asked.

You smiled sadly, thinking about the huge milestone you had just celebrated without him. "I can't help it. I miss my mate." and sent another tug down the bond.

This time, it wasn't reciprocated. Something felt different, this time. You almost thought you heard a cry of pain.

***

“You know, maybe it would help to get out of here a little,” Cassian said one day at training. You were in the middle of sparring with him and Nesta, sweat dripping down your face, but you could tell they were going easy since the birth of your daughter only 5 weeks prior.

"Yeah, y/n,” Nesta smiled as she thrusted the dagger upward. "No harm in a holiday, you work so hard."

You stopped, mid-jab into where Cassian's shoulder would've been as you considered the idea. You hadn't left the Night Court for leisure in over three decades, and a small part of you did long to explore the other courts. Back when you and Az still talked of the future, the two of you had dreamed of holidaying in all the seven courts.

>>>>

"Do you ever think of the future?" you asked, playing with your mate's hair. Azriel paused his reading and thought.

He hummed softly, replying, "Of course, one with you."

You smiled, hands resuming their tousling of Azriel's hair, "I think one day I would like to travel. See all the places that the stories told me about when I was younger."

"That sounds perfect," Azriel replied, now fully sitting up and facing you. His book was discarded, and his hands were drifting up and down your arms. "I am content everywhere with you, but I hear the Winter and Summer courts are especially beautiful year-round."

You made a noise of happiness. "How much wine do you think we would need to buy Rhys for him to gift us one of his luxurious holiday homes in the Winter Court?"

Azriel's laugh ricocheted through the empty house, "My darling mate, I bet it's more wine than we can afford."

You laughed softly, "Well, I guess we better start saving. When I mend relations with Spring and Autumn, we must visit all the courts! Oh, just imagine it, Az."

Azriel's eyes softened. "Have I ever told you how much I admire you?"

You tilt your head, "You tell me every day, Az, but I think I admire you more." you said in a whisper, as if it were a secret, but how could it ever be, with a mate like Azriel?

Azriel smiled but shook his head. "Your job is amazing, y/n. Co-ordinating all these alliances, responding to our people's concerns and solving their problems. Velaris would really be nowhere without you."

You blush under Azriel's heated gaze, and say, "Well, someone's got to make the bribe money for Rhys' wine."

Azriel laughed deeply, the sound warming your soul. "Well, good thing I make up for my immense lack of income with other skills."

You watched the corner of Azriel's mouth curl up in a smirk. "Wouldn't you agree, my love? Or would you like a reminder?"

>>>>>>>>

When you named your daughter, you cried.

Cerise. Cerise Beatrice Singer.

Beatrice was your mother's name. A mortal name. She was half fae, as her mother was mortal. The courts gossiped for your entire childhood, from when you were six up until at least seventeen. They didn't even stop when she died. Seventeen was the year where you couldn't take it anymore. The year you finally left your 'family' and fled into the centre of Prythian. You travelled around from court to court for 2 years until one day, you arrived in the Night Court.

The people of your old village called her horrible names. They'd hiss at your mother as she walked across the street, throw all sorts of things at her. They were horrified that a mortal walked the streets of Prythian freely, no matter the fact she had never actually been in the Mortal Lands. No matter the fact she grew up the same as them. No matter the fact that she learnt the same faerie customs in the same faerie schools. No matter the fact that she grew up eating faerie food and wearing faerie-produced clothing.

No matter any of that.

Once, there was a rumour that you heard at school. People were saying your mother used witchcraft to lure herself a man "as great as that scum's father". You hid behind a wall, eavesdropping. The voices were muffled, the pitch all weird, but it was clear they were talking about you. Aiden was there with you. When he saw you were on the verge of tears, he told you to cover your ears and he hugged you tight. But even his hugs were never as tight as your mother's.

You are remembering thinking that you had never heard such foul language coming from 11-year-old children. You had dared a peek into the classroom, and when you saw the towering figures huddled, you realised. It was the teachers. The teachers using slurs and the teachers belittling the one woman who actually cared about you. About everything.

Decades from that day you thought of your past. You thought that, maybe it was true that once, your father had felt love for her. Beatrice bore him 4 children, after all. You knew your mother married him soon after meeting, and when she would brush your hair, back when you were young and the world was simple, she would tell you stories about how he courted her. Oh, how he courted her. Before the age of eight you used to wish for a love story like theirs. But as you grew up, it was plain to see that he felt nothing for her. In the end, one of your father's drunken rages had led to her death, and she died protecting you.

She cared for you when no one else did, in your family. Not your older siblings, and certainly not your father.

When you named your daughter, you cried.

Love and passion. That's what her name meant.

You were going to make sure love was all she felt from her family. Cerise was going to grow up with love. You loved her, your true family loved her, and Azriel would love her. You were sure.

Her raven hair was just like his, her eyes were like his too. Sometimes a piercing green, sometimes a calming brown. Beautiful, just like her father. She had your mouth though; Feyre had told you. When she smiled it was like the sun brightening the sky after a storm, and you had never seen anything better. She loved to laugh, her small eyes crinkling at the corners, her nose twitching. She was beautiful.

Cerise, she had wings. Small, baby Illyrian wings, but wings none the less. Wings like Azriel. Not wings like your father, but wings like Azriel. Majestic and powerful, with the ability to give what you had lacked; freedom.

>>>>>>>>

It had almost been 9 months since you told your friends at that fateful dinner, and they had spared no expense, treating you and Cerise like royalty.

Feyre could tell you were drained from your new motherly duties and said she would be happy to take care of your daughter for as long as you needed, but you had refused her offer.

"Oh no, Feyre, that's so kind," you smiled gratefully at your friend. "It's okay though, I will pick a place suitable for the both of us."

You had picked up Cerise from eager Auntie Mor's that morning and had decided. It was time for a holiday.

Feyre's eyes were scanning your face, waiting to pounce on any sign of hesitation. "Besides," you continued. "You have Nyx to think about!"

Upon hearing her son's name, Feyre beamed. "Yes! Oh y/n, I am so excited to have them grow up together." Her eyes softened. "It may seem hard now, but I know you'll be a great mother."

You reached for your friend and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Feyre. I learn from the best."

When you pulled back Feyre grasped your hands, grinning excitedly. "Now for the fun part. Let's pick a holiday destination; where are we sending you!"

Rhys walked in about an hour after you and Feyre decided to research to find Prythian's best Court for a vacation.

"How about the Day Court?" He suggested. "Helion loves you, and I'm sure both you and your daughter would enjoy the sunshine."

You looked at Feyre who was beaming.

"That sounds perfect."

That's how you ended up holding your daughter, watching as Helion - ever the show-off - had insisted you fly to the Day Court in his finest white carriage, led by the horses with manes of flame. When Rhys had heard about this plan, he just rolled his eyes, telling you that once, he had banned Helion from coming into the Night Court in that carriage, but Helion's loophole was to take you out of the Night Court in it.

"Go easy on the flying, okay? You have a post-partum mother and a baby on board," you said to Helion, only half-joking.

Helion raised one dark eyebrow at you in reply. "Of course. I promise you a mellow ride." He smiled and turned his attention back to his horses. A quick tug on the reigns from Helion, and the three of you were gone.

@ladyescapism 💗💗

edit: I ONLY JUST REALISED I DONT USE READ MORE OMLLLL

edit 2: WEDDING VOWELS LMFAO

Title: Between Worlds Part II (Azriel POV)

This is Azriel's point of view leading up until the morning. Let me know if you have any thoughts or if you want more!

Summary: Reader wakes up in ACOTAR a year after the war with Hybern. A bunch of events happen that leads to them waking up in a one night stand with Azriel 

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five: Coming soon!

Trigger Warnings: Alcohol

Azriel's POV

Mor had dragged most of the Inner Circle to Rita's tonight. It was one of her favorite spots—a pleasure hall where judgment held no ground. Here, rank and gender were inconsequential. Despite my initial reluctance, Rhysand had practically coerced me to join, insisting it was "family bonding time." Cassian had tried to persuade Nesta to come along, but she had brushed him off.

We found ourselves at our usual table. While Mor and Cassian mingled with the crowd, I sat alone, nursing a beer, eavesdropping on conversations around me. Today, my shadows were unusually restless, tugging at me as if sensing an impending threat. Their whispers guided me toward a particular scent that seemed to beckon them.

The scent led me to a table where a group was concocting something they called a 'sake bomb.' One of the men, engrossed in flirting with a dark-haired woman, noticed me and shifted over. But it was the gaze of a beautiful woman that captured my attention, pulling at my heartstrings.

Accustomed to people trembling in my presence due to my position in the court, I was taken aback when she playfully told me to wait my turn, even though I hadn’t approached her. As her friend whispered something to her, her expression shifted from surprise to recognition. My shadows grew even more insistent, one even escaping my grasp to caress her wrist.

The woman looked at the shadow in wonder, then back at me. "Is this normal?" she asked, her voice tinged with amusement and curiosity.

Smiling softly, I replied, "Not for them to approach strangers, no." My shadows seemed inexplicably drawn to her.

As her friends left to dance with other men, I moved closer to her, intrigued. Leaning in, I whispered, "May I ask your name?"

"Y/n... you must be Azriel," she murmured, her voice angelic, captivating me instantly. A smirk played on my lips as I noticed her blush.

"What gave it away?" I teased.

"The shadows... I never expected them to be so... soft," she said, her eyes darting between me and the dancing shadows. I was surprised to find that she seemed more intrigued by my shadows than fearful.

"They've never behaved like this with anyone else. They seem to like you," I admitted, smiling as I watched my shadows swirl around her hands. In return she gave me the most beautiful drunken smile that I could have ever imagined. That's when I felt it.

As the bond between us snapped, I hid my shock behind a controlled expression. My shadows seemed even more eager to be near her. I couldn’t leave her, not after waiting five hundred years to find my mate. Wanting to draw the attention from my impending panic. I decided to change the topic.

"Shall we dance?" I asked, my heart pounding with nervous anticipation.

After some hesitation, she nodded. Guiding her to the dance floor, I reassured her, "Don’t worry, love, I'll guide you."

Despite her lack of dancing skills, I cherished every moment, lost in her mesmerizing eyes. Hours seemed to pass as we danced, oblivious to the world around us. When we returned to our table, her friends had left, and Cassian and Mor were beyond intoxicated.

"Shall we get out of here?" I whispered, making her blush even more.

"I live with my parents," she stammered, sheepishly.

"We can go to one of mine. I don’t think anyone's at our townhouse. I can winnow us there if you can handle it," I suggested.

After a moment of hesitation, she nodded. As we winnowed to the townhouse, I reassured her, promising her safety.

Once inside, I helped her to my bedroom. She stumbled like a fawn learning to walk for the first time. After fetching her some water and a change of clothes, I found her sprawled in bed, already half-asleep. As I turned to leave, she grabbed my hand.

"Please stay. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd meet you? I worry I'll wake up..." she murmured. What does that even mean? Did the bond already snap for her? Thank the mother above that I have some sort of self control, otherwise I would be asking questions.

After a moment of contemplation, I decided to stay. Wrapping my arms around her, I found comfort in her warmth, and for the first time in ages, I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Upcoming Modern!Azriel Fic

Trigger warnings: mentions of abuse and an affair.

In the facade of Windhaven, the mayor portrayed perfection—a loving family, accomplished sons, and a jovial demeanor in public. But behind closed doors, he concealed a darker truth, subjecting Azriel, his illegitimate son, to relentless abuse.

Conceived from an affair with a maid, Azriel's existence became a shameful secret. The mayor adopted him to maintain appearances, while the maid disappeared under the guise of a paid silence, leaving Azriel to navigate a hostile household.

Lonely and longing for his mother's warmth, Azriel endured the torment of his stepbrothers, who saw him as nothing more than a villain in their games. Isolated and yearning for companionship, he found solace only in the confines of his room.

As years passed, Azriel's torment escalated, culminating in a horrifying incident orchestrated by his brothers. Left scarred both physically and emotionally, he faced his father's contempt and the cruel decree of boarding school—a final banishment from the only home he'd ever known.

But amidst the darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged as Azriel embarked on a journey to a new life in Velaris, leaving behind the shadows of Windhaven to pursue his dreams and find belonging with his newfound family.

A/n: This will be a Azriel x Reader taking place in the modern world. The first part will be his childhood with his father and brothers in Windhaven, will be pretty angsty!

A City of Dreamers [Part One]

Series Summary: ModernAU of ACOTAR, Azriel breaks away from the small town of Windhaven to escape his toxic family and chase his dreams with his newfound family. Leaving behind his small-town life for new ventures in Velaris. 

[Part One]{Part Two]

Work Count: 1.5K

Trigger warnings: Tabaco use and trauma mentioned, I think that's it!

Another night, another nightmare. Azriel awoke to the gentle sunlight creeping through his window, emitting a small groan as he stretched amidst the boxes littering his bedroom, remnants of his recent move taking a toll on him. Another task he needed to complete to a list that already seemed endless. 

Three years prior, Rhysand, fresh out of university, pitched the idea of starting a tech company called ‘Night Corp.’ Rhysand’s father, a real estate mogul, agreed to fund the venture under the condition it operated in Velaris. As the company prospered, they moved into an apartment closer to work. 

The company ‘Night Corp’ is the biggest in technology. Booming after a year of the three of the ‘brothers’ working eighty-hour weeks. Azriel running the programming and hardware side. Cassian working on management and dealing with the paperwork. While Rhysand was the face, he made sure to bring in the investors and funding. Over time, the company grew larger and larger. Which led to the boys moving into an apartment closer to work. 

The apartment boasted amenities, including separate bathrooms and balconies for each room. Azriel found solace in his smoke breaks on the balcony, appreciating the alone time overlooking the city with a faint scent of tobacco in the air. Cassian however would always chastise him for smoking, but old habits are hard to die out. 

Struggling with the sleepless nights fueled by long coding sessions and haunting memories, Azriel joined Cassian in the kitchen. Finding Cassian making breakfast and doing a small dance as he jammed out to his booming music. 

Azriel moved past him to start his morning coffee, much deserved from the late night he had. Cassian shot him a big grin. 

“There’s a boxing gym nearby if you want to check it out with me later today,” Cassian mentioned as he removed his headphones. 

Azriel shook his head, his messy dark curls bouncing. “I need to ensure the program is fine for the next big launch. Security reasons” Azriel shrugged. “I’ll check it out later with you some other time.” 

Cassian raised a brow. “You know, Az, you don’t have to work yourself to the bone anymore. We’ve got a solid team now. Gone are the days of us slaving away in Rhys’ mom’s basement. Remember, you hired the best from Velaris Tech. Let them shoulder some of the load.”

Azriel shrugged, pouring his coffee and taking a sip. “I’ll think about it” 

It’s true, that Azriel did seek out some of the best programmers for the business. A business that started in a business that now had several major buildings around Prythian. While Velaris remains to be headquarters. 

Rhysand, already at the office, tasked Mor, who was already busy as the marketing director, to find him a personal assistant. Signaling the start of yet another busy day at Night Corp. 

*****

In an apartment two doors down from the boys lived Feyre and Y/n. Childhood best friends who grew up in a small town together that later reconnected. Both of them had faced their challenges.

Feyre is one of three sisters. The oldest was Nesta a famous ballet dancer, one of the best in all of Prythian who frequently traveled, rarely visited unless for the holidays. The middle child, Elaine, worked as a florist in the Springs. However, she did visit more frequently than Nesta. Feyre was the youngest and unfortunately, her father already exhausted most of his income on his other two daughters, leaving Feyre to figure her life out on her own.  

Feyre never was able to go to college unless she wanted copious amounts of debt. Though her artwork was enough to pay for rent, her income wasn’t stable enough. Some months were better than others, leaving Feyre in the middle of applying for a position as a personal assistant, there was no guarantee she would even get an interview without a degree. She was still going to give it her best shot. The job paid well enough that she could start saving up for her studio and be able to pay rent. 

Y/n on the other hand, inherited her parents' coffee shop. After they had passed away, left her with nothing but the deed to a business that she never knew her folks owned. Y/n spent her days tirelessly researching how to even run a business and while sorting through her emotions of losing her parents- cleaned up the place. From time to time Feyre would come and help. Painting the walls, even including a beautiful mural of the Sidra River on one of the walls. After a year of opening the business, the income was stable enough that she could hire a full staff.

The coffee house was unique in a way that instead of being open in the early hours of the morning, the cafe would instead be open late into the night. Allowing night owls like herself to feel the comfort of a good cup of coffee.

It was late afternoon when y/n woke up, she had worked a double late night shift after one of her managers called out. Climbing out of bed, groggy, hoping that her staff could handle the shipment coming in today, reluctantly checked her phone. Finding no calls from the afternoon staff, she considered it to be a small success, a small smile appeared on her face before walking into the living room to find Feyre on her ancient laptop typing away at her resume. 

“Morning” Feyre murmured with her brows furrowed in concentration as she slowly typed away. 

“Morning. Didn’t Tamlin get you the latest model from Night Corp?” y/n murmured sleepily. Taking a spot next to Feyre on the couch. 

“He did, but…” A deep sigh escaped Feyre’s lips “We broke up” she reluctantly met y/n gaze. “He proposed and I said no…” her face showed regret as she didn’t meet y/n’s curious glance. 

Y/n gazed at her, a look of pity for her friend on her face as she leaned her head onto Feyre’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Feyre. What made you turn him down?” 

“Funny thing is, Tam wanted a traditional housewife. Someone to plan parties, wear fancy dresses, and be pampered” Feyre explained, her tone tinged with sadness. “That’s just not me, I need room to grow. He was kind, but I think I really hurt him y/n” She shook off the sadness and continued with determination “So, I’m applying to Night Corp for a personal assistant position. How hard could it be?” 

“I’m here for you if you need anything…with the whole Tamlin situation. But I have to say, I’m proud of you for coming to that conclusion about what you want in life. That wasn’t an easy decision I’m sure.” Y/n gave her a soft smile before laughing softly. “You? Applying to a tech company, Feyre you had to ask me the other day how to download an app on your phone. Feyre you still use BuzzFeed!” Feyre playfully nudged y/n. 

“Buzzfeed will always have a special place in my heart, how else am I supposed to know what kind of pizza my zodiac sign is?” Feyre said with a chuckle “But seriously, the job pays well, and it can’t be that challenging, right? Plus, they’re on the rise. Word on the street is that their main office has a slide! How cool is that?” 

“I wish you the best of luck, I know you would nail that interview” Y/n grinned before getting up to get ready for her shift. “I have to be in early today, to help with the truck order. Let me know if you get a call from them, we can go celebrate!” Feyre gave a warm smile before slowly typing away at her cover letter. Feyre was absolutely awful with anything technology-based. 

After an hour of getting ready, y/n waved goodbye to Feyre and headed out the door. Locking the door to the apartment and heading down the hallway. Scrolling through her phone she bumped into someone. 

“Sorry,” she stammered before peering up at the man before her. Dark raven black hair with a slight curl that almost covered his eyes, a black face mask that hid most of his face, and hazel eyes that resembled burnt honey. He was beautiful, a classically handsome man. The man peered down at her roughly a whole foot taller and said in a voice that was so deep it sounded sinful. 

“You’re alright,” he murmured before gliding past her down the hallway back to his apartment. The sultry voice sent shivers down her spine. A blush had warmed her cheeks before she made her way to the elevator, their brief encounter replaying in her mind. Seemingly hypnotized by the deep voice, a melody she deeply wanted to hear again. 

Azriel returning from his run, sliding in the front door of the shared apartment, couldn’t shake the comforting scent of vanilla and coffee the girl exuded. 

Between Worlds Part III

A/n: Wasn't planning on writing more, but your support changed my mind! The series now has a title. Thanks to all who liked and reblogged the first two fics. You're amazing! Hope you all enjoy the third part :)) I did change the POV to make it flow nicer, had a coworker edit the fic for me too, let me know any thoughts!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five: Coming soon!

Summary: Reader wakes up in ACOTAR a year after the war with Hybern. A bunch of events happen that leads to them waking up in a one night stand with Azriel.

Trigger Warnings: Maybe slightly scary Azriel but none that I can think of besides slight angst.

Word Count: 1.6k

It was supposed to be a simple one-night stand with a handsome stranger, a way to steer clear of the story’s main characters. But, after a few too many drinks—Sake Bombs to be exact—I woke up in the bed of the Night Court’s spymaster, one of Prythian’s most dangerous men. One word stood out to me, echoing in my mind. The shock was clear on my face.

“‘Mate’?” you stammered. A mate bond between us? That was impossible. You weren’t even supposed to be in this world. Was the tightening in your chest from the bond or just your own anxiety?

Azriel chuckled, looking down at you. You could tell that he saw through your pathetic attempt at hiding your feelings. I mean, you could feel the invisible thread pulling you together. You could feel every emotion he was expressing through the bond. Azriel was the spymaster; he was trained to read every emotion and find any information he could get.

“You felt it, didn’t you? The love and affection that I am sending you.” His voice was laced with amusement as he watched you squirm a bit. “You’re not getting out of it that easily you know. Mate bonds are sacred after all.” His expression turned serious as he said this, looking down at you.

“This is going to sound selfish,” he said softly, not meeting your gaze as he looked around the room. “Please, give it a chance. I have been waiting so long to find my mate and here you are.” A soft, breathy laugh escaped his lips. “Who knew I’d meet my mate drunk at a pleasure hall? Never in my five hundred years would I have expected that. The Mother must work in mysterious ways.” He finally met your gaze, his gaze held warmth but seemed to be evaluating your every move.

That’s right, he is around five hundred years old and just had a mate bond snap…which means that he probably wants to have a ceremony as soon as possible. I could feel the anxiety creeping up. I know he can sense and feel every emotion. What would he do, if he found out that I am not even from this world? That I am not his true mate?

You somehow manage to blurt out without stammering, “I…want to form a bargain with you.”

“A bargain?” His expression darkened with curiosity.

You shifted nervously in the bed, a knot had built in your chest, and you could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. You needed him to say yes, you needed time to figure out your situation, even if you had to throw a bargain that he would more than likely say no to. A bargain that would make him feel rejected.

His gaze held yours for a moment, the only movement being his eyes as they scanned your every expression. “What would you like to bargain with me about, y/n?”

“First, I want to make sure the ceremony date isn’t for another six months, preferably longer. Second, you cannot use your shadows to spy on me. They cannot access my room or any of my items. Lastly, I need three months before I meet your family or before you can meet mine.” You could feel the anxiety brewing in your stomach. His expression showed a tiny amount of sadness and curiosity. You felt as if he knew you were hiding something but was choosing to ignore it, for now. “Is there anything you would like to add?”

Azriel stared at you incredulously. You had wanted the ceremony to be delayed, and not only did you not want him to access your personal life, but you wanted three months to go by before he saw your family, or you saw his. A few minutes of silence passed as Azriel pondered his next response. His face was expressionless, showing none of his thoughts.

“Three months? Why three months?” The soft amusement was back in his voice as he shifted forward, placing his scarred fingers under your chin so you’d meet his gaze. A gaze that could only belong to someone who was feared among every court in Prythian. A dangerous gaze that spoke volumes. The room was silent, as you couldn’t say another word. Instead, he spoke in a low, soft tone that seemed to taunt a reaction out of you.

“You know I could find any information that I could ever want, right?” Words that were laced with truth, a subtle warning in his tone. 

You felt like your heart was going to burst from the anxiety inside of you, a part of you hoping it would so you could avoid this conversation. “I know you could find any information about me that you could want, I just…I don’t want to move too fast. I mean we just met, you know?”

He chuckled softly as he dragged his scarred thumb across your cheek. In a whisper that seemed laced with something dark. "We did just meet, but I do know one thing about you already." Azriel gave you a warm smile and stared at you as he whispered the words "You're scared and I know you’re hiding something, sweetness."

You took in a deep breath, trying to clear your thoughts. This male was going to be the death of you.

You stammered your sentence for a moment. “I’m not scared, it’s just…I can’t exactly tell you right now. I need to figure out some things first. But, that’s not important right now, do you accept the bargain?”

Azriel frowned as he looked at your face, somehow trying to find information through your expression. After another moment, he finally said, "Fine, you have your bargain. But only if you promise me one thing."

He accepted? That was different than what you were expecting. “What’s your condition?”

Before you knew it, you truly saw the spymaster of the Night Court in action as he moved closer to you. He raised an eyebrow at you, pulling his hand away from your face, and moved them to either side of you. Leaning down close enough to whisper in your ear. "You'll tell me whatever truth you're keeping from me after three months, no games, no bullshit. But only after the three months have passed." He seemed to wait until you could gather your senses to respond. His gaze was harsh but still held some warmth.

“We have a deal,” the words stumbled out, your voice barely above a whisper.

“We have a deal,” Azriel repeated with his voice sending a shiver down your spine with its coldness. He hesitated for a moment, his brows furrowing slightly as if wrestling an inner turmoil. Then without warning, a bargain marking materialized on both of your wrists, taking the form of a small star.

Another long period of silence. Nothing in the room moved but his shadows that moved between you like silk. Some of the shadows felt like kisses on your wrist as they slithered over the bargain.

“I suppose I should take you home,” he whispered, his voice coming out rough. As if he wanted to say something more. You gave him a slow nod, and he moved away, climbing off the bed to hand you a simple dress. “I had my shadows bring something, you…ruined yours last night. I’ll save you the embarrassment,” he teased lightly before stepping out of the room to allow you some privacy.

Oh…what did you do in front of this beautiful creature? You are never drinking again if it's what you think it is.

You slipped on the dress; it fit nicely. How he knew your size or his shadows knew was beyond you. You chose to ignore those thoughts as you tied your hair, looking in the mirror. One thing you knew for sure, you needed a bath.

After you stepped out of the room, your eyes fell upon Azriel, already clad in his Illyrian leathers, the blue cobalt siphons shimmering in the morning light that filtered through the window. He looked every bit the formidable warrior, yet there was a softness in his eyes as he reached out his scarred hand to yours. 

In an instant, we were no longer in the confines of the townhouse, but standing at the gates of your parents’ estate. Azriel’s expression softened, his gaze meeting yours with a vulnerability you hadn’t expected. 

“Y/n, there is one more thing before we go back in there,” he said, his voice carrying a weight of unspoken words. 

As he glanced towards the estate, a sense of unease settled over me, knowing what was coming next. "Your secret, whatever it is, will always be safe with me,” Azriel said, his gaze unwaveringly sincere as he met your eyes.  “Whenever you are ready to tell me.”

You met his gaze with a mixture of gratitude and apprehension, emotions swirling within you like a storm. "It's not that bad of a secret," you began, your voice betraying a hint of vulnerability. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt." You paused, gathering your thoughts. "Don't worry, in three months you can introduce me to your family. In six months we can set a date for a ceremony."

Azriel leaned forward, his smile gentle as he reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His expression was a blend of disappointment and sadness flickering in his eyes. It seemed as though he had something more to say, or perhaps do. After a moment of tense silence, he nodded as if coming to a decision. "See you in three months, my mate," he said softly, before turning away and disappearing with a graceful winnow. Not even leaving a trace of shadows behind. All that was left was his scent of night-chilled mist and cedar. 

Tag list: @mybestfriendmademe, @why4anne, @impossibelle

Between Worlds Part IV

A/n: Sorry for the short chapter! I'm going to be really busy this week with work so I won't have another update til next week probably. Next week's update with be part two of "A City of Dreams" and part five for between worlds. Thank you everyone for the love on the last one. Hope you guys enjoy a bit of Azriel's pov. :))

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five: Coming soon!

Summary: Reader wakes up in ACOTAR a year after the war with Hybern. A bunch of events happen that leads to them waking up in a one night stand with Azriel.

Trigger Warnings? None!

Work Count: 1.2k

‎‧₊˚✧ Reader POV ✧˚₊‧

Azriel left nothing but his scent of night-chilled mist and cedar lingering in the air. After he departed, you made your way into the estate, feeling somewhat dazed as you traversed up the steps and through the doorway. give Thoughts of your recent conversation swirled in your mind. How could Azriel be so considerate? He seemed to accept the bargain without too much hesitation, despite gaining nothing from it. Azriel’s unexpected acceptance left you feeling uneasy. Did he have a plan, or was he simply indulging on a whim? It was hard to tell with someone as enigmatic as Azriel. After all, to the fae, three months might feel like a mere blink of an eye. 

As soon as you stepped into the hall of the estate, your maid who seemed to be in a frantic mood quickly intercepted you as she caught your eye, her expression tense as she guided you to your bedroom. “Where have you been?” she chided softly, her grip on her apron betraying her nerves. “You’ve never done anything like this before, in all twenty-six years of your life. If your parents found out…why they would never let you leave again.” 

“I’m sorry…I stayed the night with Hazel,” The lie seemed to slip out, almost like muscle memory. A few thoughts occurred to you.

But what if you told her the truth? Would she be excited? How long has she been your maid? What even if her name? 

A small huff pulled you away from lingering thoughts. 

“You smell like a drunken fool, you look like one too. Bath, now” Your maid instructed, her tone firm as she closed the bedroom door behind us. 

“Thank you for covering for me” your voice barely above a whisper, as you made your way to the bathroom attached to your bedroom quarters. The words felt hollow on your tongue, weighed down by the guilt of deceiving everyone around you. Yet, somehow beneath the surface, a sliver of relief flickered, knowing that you had someone you could trust somewhat. 

Before you began to strip off the dress, you looked over at your maid who was searching your closet for a dress. You simply stated. 

“Could you find me a journal? One with a lock or a ward?” Your maid gave you a quizzical look and shrugged with a nod. A wave of her hand ushered you to quickly bathe as there was much to do today. 

‎‧₊˚✧ Azriel POV ✧˚₊‧

I winnowed back to the outskirts of the House of Wind, the rush of air exhilarating as I took flight. My wings unfurled to their full span, casting long shadows across the ground as I landed softly in front of the house. As I made my way to my room, a deep sigh escaped my lips, the weight of recent events pressing down on me. 

My mate

The realization still felt surreal, after all these years of waiting. Yet, despite my excitement, doubts nagged at the edges of my mind. Was she afraid? Last night, she seemed drawn to me, but today, only fear and concern marred her features.

What was she hiding? 

I understand my reputation proceeds me, as I’ve done horrible things. I’ve killed, tortured, and manipulated in more ways than I could count. I know I’m undeserving of a mate, one that seemed so perfect. Yet, somehow, I feel as if she already knows of the horrible things that I’ve done. The way her fingers would brush across my scarred hands as if they weren’t… horrible as if they hadn’t caused pain and hurt to the world. 

The shadows… I never expected them to be so soft

You seemed to see his shadows as a part of him, something to be cherished and praised. While others thought of them as something to be feared, something people shunned besides his family. Yet, how often did you think about his shadows, especially since you both have never met before? 

The chances of you two meeting were slim, it could have happened in passing. Your father is one of the government officials for Velaris. A kind man, though he had only spoken to him maybe once or twice. Though, I could never forget her if we had met, the way her eyes seemed to gleam up at me like stars. Eyes that made him feel safe as if he could drown in them from the warmness they beheld. 

For once, he felt like he could let his guard down, and it was a surreal feeling, one he was hesitant to admit. Perhaps, that’s why he trusts her so much that he made a bargain that didn’t benefit him in the slightest. 

Why were you so intoxicating? Occupying his mind like a drug? We had only just met, yet I crave you. 

The urge to send a few of his shadows your way to at least know that you’re safe. You seemed so trusting and naive, what if someone used that against you? Though he knew the terms of the bargain as he rubbed the small marking on his wrist. Didn’t mean he liked the terms. 

Azirel also knew he didn’t have to wait three months to see you, but you looked desperate for something. As if you lacked time, you’re fae? Privileged fae…you had all the time in the world. Therefore, what was causing that pretty little mind of yours to hesitate to be his mate? What did you need to complete before you both could be mated together? 

A distraction is what he needed. 

A curse was under his breath as he knew he was behind on reports that he needed to complete before the Starfall event with his family. He couldn’t let himself go crazy thinking of y/n and what she was doing. Perhaps, he would send flowers, maybe even a little shadow, one that he would command not to report to him but just so she knew he was still here…that if she needed him, he was a whisper away. 

A deep sigh escaped his lips as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note. An awful idea really, but how harmful would it be? 

My Dearest Y/n,

How you have ensnared me in your spell, I cannot fathom. Your very presence is a symphony of enchantment, weaving its melody through the fibers of my soul. For you, my mate, I offer these flowers to brighten your hangover, accompanied by one of my shadows. Fear not for I have commanded them to honor our bargain, refraining from any prying or divulging of secrets. Should you ever need me, simply whisper to the shadow and I will come to you at a moment’s notice. 

In truth, I am not one to resort to poetry or love letters, but for you, I would humble myself before the Mother. 

With all my affection, 

Azriel, your mate 

With a flick of his wrist, a silent command, the shadow obediently trailed off, carrying the letter. Azriel had commanded it to bring flowers from Elain’s garden as well. As he watched the shadow disappear, a deep sigh along with a curse escaped his lips. Despite the tasks awaiting him, his mind remained preoccupied with thoughts of you.

Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe, @why4anne, @impossibelle, @lilah-asteria

Marriage-Life (One-shot)

A/n: Thank you all for all the love on the Between Worlds series! I promise an update next week. This is just something I thought about while on my walk with my dog :) SUPER FLUFFY!

**Also, it is unedited so fair warning, like a rough draft!**

Word Count: 1.8K

Summary: Collections of domestic life with Azriel, married/mated for fifty years. 

Warnings: Fluff & crack at times, drinking, some intimate moments. Pet names (Sweetness, My Love, Baby)

Azriel the spymaster was your mate, the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on. Balancing life with a spymaster was no easy feat. Azriel’s frequent absence on risky missions tested the boundaries of your marriage at times. Yet, amidst the challenges, you found solace in the ways he made up for his prolonged departures.

Like sleepless nights in bed after a long mission…

As you settled in settled into bed, with Azriel lying on your chest, his breathing growing heavy as his eyes were closing. A question tugged at your lips. “Would you…’ you began, hesitating for a moment. ‘Yes, I would love you if you were a worm,’ Azriel hummed, his warm breath grazing your skin.

“Love me if I was a snail” You finished, feeling Azriel’s smirk form against your chest. He gave a soft nip on your breast. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he opened his eyes to look up at you. The hazel eyes looked up at you with amusement you could see his smirk turn smug. 

“Oh sweetness, that changes things” he drawled as he sat up a little, pushing himself up to see your face. You bit your lip trying not to giggle as he continued. 

“I mean, are you a normal snail? Like could I tell you apart from all of the other little snails?” Azriel began, his deep voice filled with a teasing tone. His hand roaming your bonds, fingers caressing your curves. 

You stifle a laugh as his fingers find ticklish spots, “I would be a cute snail, one that you could distinguish from the others”

“A very cute snail…but the fact remains. You would still be a snail” Azriel hummed as he ran his fingers across your curves again. His gaze goes down to your body and back to your lips and then your eyes with a playful grin. A grin that only you ever saw. “I would feel so guilty if I stepped on you by mistake. Can’t have that, can we?” 

Giving him a playful pout, you look at him innocently. “Are you saying…that you wouldn’t love me if I was a snail?” you whisper to him in a soft gaze, as you notice his movements. Azriel grinned again, pushing himself onto his elbows against you as he moved closer to you. His wings continued to drape across the both of you. 

“What I’m saying is I would always have to worry about stepping on you if you were a snail. Which would make being married to you quite the headache.” His hand once rested on the curve of your waist, moved its way to your collarbone then your jawline, and finally to your chin. Tilting your head as he brings himself closer to whisper on your lips. “How about you stay fae my love, maybe in another universe we could be snails together. But this one, I would love to be fae with you.” A gentle kiss was planted on your lips, which led to you both having a very sleepless night. 

****

Azriel never really had much of a sweet tooth, in fact, he typically stayed away from sweets until he met you. When you both got married, you would try out a new cafe once a month, sometimes going to the same one if their seasonal menu changed. 

“Let’s get ice cream today, it’s starting to get so warm out.” You whined as you slipped on a sundress. Azriel in the middle of brushing his teeth as he shrugged and gave the confirming nod. 

One of the best things about Azriel was that he always tried to match your outfits. If you wore a blue ribbon in your hair, he would wear a blue button-up shirt. If you wore a floral sundress, he would find a shirt that matched one of the colors. Today wearing a blue floral sundress, he opted for a light blue button-down and khaki slacks. One of which, he never owned any colorful clothing or anything other than his leathers and a few formal outfits until you two met.

Once you were both ready, Azriel took you on a flight down to the Palace of Hoof and Leaf. A district is known for its food. Once landed, you both walked hand in hand. Shadows trailing the both of you as you walked. Azriel’s huge hand compared to yours as he guided you to a cafe. 

“Feyre mentioned this place the other day” he began as he guided you through the busy streets. His wings were tightly tucked in. “I guess they make the ice cream look cute, like little bears and pigs” he gave you a warm smile as you trailed next to him, giving him a confirming squeeze with your hand. 

The streets were packed today, the market was selling spices, the smell of delicious food filled the air, and merchants trying to gather attention as people walked past. It wasn't until after a few blocks away, that you noticed a cute pastel pink building that had “Ice Cream” written in a beautiful cursive font on the window. You moved your hand from his, moving it towards his bicep as you both walked to the front doors. When you grasped his muscle, he flexed. The pastel-pink building exuded a quaint charm, its exterior adorned with delicate floral motifs that seemed to dance in the sunlight. Inside, the decor was equally inviting, with plush cushions and paintings on flowers on the walls. Along with cute stuffed animals on shelves around the parlor. A beautiful fae girl led you both to a table and placed a menu in front of you both. Azreil looked at you. “Order anything you want. I will just share with you”

The menu was filled with a tempting array of ice cream parfaits, each more enticing than the last. Ranging from little animal-themed ones to flower ones  You ended up ordering the panda, and right when you ordered you noticed there was a drink menu that showed an adorable foam cat latte. You order it as well obviously. Azriel smirks as he looks at you with a smile. People in the ice cream parlor glanced over. A smile from the threatening looks of the spymaster was quite rare. 

You both talked about what other errands you both needed to run, a market trip was due. Luckily Azriel won’t have a mission for a while but will be training with the Valkyrie and having to go to Hewn City soon. As you both talked, you very impatiently waited for the dessert, Azriel held your hand across the table. He was rubbing his finger across the top of your hand. 

“I appreciate you” He whispered so softly that you almost didn’t catch it. You give him a warm smile “I appreciate you too and everything you do.”

After what seemed like forever! 

The ice cream and latte finally arrived, you looked at the ice cream with a pout and looked at him. 

“I don’t think I can eat it, it’s too cute” you pout as you look down at the panda ice cream staring up at you. Azriel had already taken the latte and was about to sip it. As he raised a brow.

“Shall I eat it for you” he teased, flashing a playful grin as he took a sip of the cute cat latte. Something about this intimidating creature sipping a cute cat latte caused your heart to flutter. A blush made its way across your face, even after fifty years of marriage, he still makes you have butterflies in your tummy. You reluctantly used your tiny spoon that was given to you, to poke the face of the little panda ice cream ball on top. Tasting the ice cream, it was a cookies and cream flavor. So cute and so delicious. Azriel teased you by claiming you’re murdering him. You would flash him a playful glare which would cause him to laugh. It was moments like these, that you enjoyed being married to him. 

*** 

Drunken nights, meant drunken mates. 

Azriel arrived at Rita’s to find his mate giggling drunk next to Feyre who was being led away by Rhysand. Azriel’s mate however was still sipping on her drink as he walked over. 

“Sorry, I have a mate,” you slurred, raising a hand to Azriel’s face as he approached.

“Oh, do you? Is he handsome?” He teased in a low voice, taking a seat next to you. His wing brushing against your shoulder. 

“The most handsome man in the whole world, let me tell you if he caught you right now, you would be catching his hands” You drawled with a drunken grin as you sipped the rest of your cocktail. 

Azriel covered his mouth covering a laugh, “Is that so? So he’s like super powerful.” He teased, his tone holding amusement. One of his shadows trailing around your arm. 

You notice it and giggle, “Yeah, my mate has these little shadow things too” You point at the shadow and show it to him. He laughs a bit harder and leans closer to you. You almost immediately recognize him. 

“Hello! My mate!” You giggle as you lean your head on his shoulder. His arm slipped around your waist. “When did you get here, there was such a strange man here” you giggle as he holds you close, placing his chin on top of your head. 

“Just now, how about we head home? Hm?” He hums as he plays with a strand of your hair, leaning back a little to slide a hand under your chin to tilt your face to his to see your drunken smile with a red flush on your cheeks. 

“Can we walk a little?” You smile up at him as you slur a little.

“Can you even walk?” He teases in a low tone, “If you can then sure” 

He pays the tab and walks with you out. A hand firmly on your waist to stop you from stumbling when you both walk the streets of Velaris. If anyone even looks at you stumble they’re met with the glare of the spymaster. You notice a pigeon leaving his arms and make your toward it. 

Tears stream down your face. 

Oh fuc- Azriel almost thought you were about to throw up but here you are giving the pigeons coins while crying. 

“Baby please, he’s homeless” You give Azriel a longing look as big alligator tears stream down your face. 

“The pigeon?” Azreil covers his mouth from laughing, there’s no way his mate is crying about a bird on the street. This is one of her more normal moments. 

“Yes, and he’s so poor. I mean he had no pockets!” you slurred as your voice cracked feeling so bad for the poor pigeon.

“I’m sure he’s fine love, please leave the pigeon alone,” he says quietly as he pulls you up. Perhaps, winnowing home would be for the best. 

A City of Dreams [Part Two]

Series Summary: ModernAU of ACOTAR, Azriel breaks away from the small town of Windhaven to escape his toxic family and chase his dreams with his newfound family. Leaving behind his small-town life for new ventures in Velaris. 

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three-Coming soon!]

Word Count: 2.1k

Trigger warnings: Pet names (lil fawn), drinking, clubbing, let me knew if I'm missing any!

A sigh of relief escaped you as you finally beat the morning coffee rush, rolling your shoulders back as you leaned against the counter. Your managers handled the coffee order today, so it should be an easy day. The summertime menu was soon ready with your next shipment of strawberries. That meant strawberry pastries and strawberry lattes, your favorite time of the year.

The bell connected to the door chimed as it swung open to reveal Feyre approaching you with heavy steps. She released a deep sigh as she ran her hands through her shimmering brown hair—how does someone have that much volume? You will never understand.

"I just got the rejection email," Feyre sighed heavily as she took a spot next to the coffee bar, laying her head on the table. Deciding to whip her up a matcha latte with vanilla cold foam, you could always tell what type of drinks suited people. Feyre was a not-too-sweet individual, and Matcha complimented her. Something about Feyre was calming enough but had bitter undertones like Matcha; it can be sweet or bitter. A soft hum escaped your lips as you made her drink. "Did it say why you got rejected?" you murmured as you whisked the green powder with warm water.

"I don’t meet the five fluent language criteria. I mean, who knows five languages, y/n?" Feyre exclaimed through a frustrated sigh as she pressed her forehead on the counter. "What kind of personal assistant does that guy need?"

Handing Feyre the drink, you couldn’t help but notice the exhaustion etched in your friend’s features. Watching Feyre take a sip, her silver-blue eyes reflecting a mixture of frustration and resignation. 

"Let’s go out tonight, close early, I want to get trashed," Feyre sighed. "I’m now a single, jobless, freelance artist. Who can’t even manage to meet the requirements for a stupid personal assistant position."

You reassured her, “The guy was probably a jerk anyways," as you cleaned up the counters. "You probably would have hated it. Anyways, yeah, I could always close early tonight. Let’s go to Rita’s?" Looking over your shoulder, you noticed Feyre on her phone staring at a photo of her and Tamlin. "You could always go back to him, you know? He seemed kind of obsessed over you."

Feyre deleted the photo after finishing her latte but didn’t say a word. You couldn’t imagine what she was thinking. You took the glass from her, and she stayed for a while making small talk with you before mentioning that she would see you at home later tonight. Leaving with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. 

******* 

Azriel finished his shower with a towel wrapped around his waist. A few more hours of code, and he should be done for the day. His phone chimed, a text from Rhysand in their group chat:

"Rita’s tonight 🍻🍾 to celebrate the new update."

An annoyed sigh escaped Azriel’s lips as he put the phone back down and got dressed. After getting ready, he took a seat at his computer and began working on code for what felt like hours. The eye bags under his eyes seemed to only get heavier.  

*******

The club pulsed with energy, the bass thumping in time with the pounding of your heart. Neon lights danced across the walls, casting kaleidoscopic patterns on the writhing bodies on the dance floor. The air was thick with the scent of alcohol, sweat, and perfume, punctuated by bursts of laughter and the occasional shout. Yep, a typical Friday night at Rita’s. 

Feyre was wearing one of the skimpiest dresses you’ve ever seen her wear, and she was rocking it, of course. You opted for a black tight dress that hugged your body. Feyre held your hand, guiding you to a spot at the bar, where she ordered you both drinks. Both of which were fruity cocktails that you both downed the second they touched your hands. Setting them on the bar, you both left to go dancing.

"Tonight! We put past all of our worries; tomorrow will be a new, better day," Feyre laughed as she danced before you.

You both danced, feeling the rhythm of the bumping club music. The lights strobing, intoxicating both of you. Clubbing in Velaris was a whole other level compared to both of your small-town lives. People here were here to be seen; everything was about who or what you knew in Velaris. While dancing, neither of you realized the violet eyes piercing Feyre as she swayed her hips. It wasn’t until a waitress tapped on Feyre’s shoulder and pointed to a table on the second floor, claiming a man up there was requesting you both to meet him.

You weren’t sure if it was the environment, the drinks, or the way Feyre was blushing when she caught the gaze of the man. He was breathtakingly handsome, the typical rich guy with tailored clothes that seemed to hug his silhouette. As he manspread at the table drinking a glass of whiskey, his friends chatted amongst themselves. When Feyre began walking over to the table, he set down his glass in one swift motion and came up to her, grabbing her hand and planting a soft kiss on top of it.

"You are absolutely divine," He said in a sultry voice as his violet eyes met her silvery blue ones. A blush crept onto Feyre’s face as she met his eyes.

"Thank you," she muttered sheepishly as he guided her to sit down next to him. The man’s name was Rhysand; by the looks of it, the man was loaded. For someone so young, he seemed accomplished and fascinated by Feyre. Before you knew it, he bought a bottle for the table.

You sat next to her, of course, being cautious of your friend. You hear stories all the time of attractive men leading women to their doom. You sip on your drink, keeping a watchful gaze at Rhysand’s hands, who seemed to be kept on his lap.

At least he was respectful.

You felt a piercing gaze at you from across the table, meeting a pair of hazel eyes that had dark undereye bags underneath them. You recognized the look. It was the man from earlier. Instead, now you could see his whole face.

Rhysand was a different type of handsome, like what you would expect a CEO to look like or some actor that would star as the male lead. The man before you looked like a tired prince or even an idol. Soft black curls covered his face just below the brow, and he had these full dark lips…that you couldn’t stop staring at. Why couldn’t you stop staring at them? Was it the drinking? A smile tugged his lips as he moved closer to you.

A low voice, almost a whisper in your ear, "You live down the hall? What a small world we are meeting here." His breath was hot, sending shivers down your body. Instead of responding, you took a sip of the champagne that Rhysand bought for the table—champagne you would normally never be able to afford. You finally gathered the courage to meet his gaze, his hazel eyes held warmth.

"Yeah…about two doors down from you, I’m assuming," you mutter sheepishly. He was so intimidating, yet you felt comfortable enough that if he asked you a question, you would be able to answer it without hesitation. You couldn’t help but notice his hands. Burn markings scattered all over them.

"Azriel, that’s my name. What’s yours?" He followed your gaze before setting his drink on the table and folding his hands over his lap. A stutter spurred from your lips, "Y/n, a pleasure to meet you Azriel," you look at him, yet your eyes are once again drawn to his lips.

An amused smile tugged his lips as he looked over at you up and down. "Y/n, pretty name for a little fawn like you. You don’t seem like the clubbing type," Azriel’s gaze met your eyes again as he tilted his head. "What brought you here tonight?"

"Celebrating losses, to say the least." You gave a slight nod to Feyre, who seemed to be laughing at Rhysand’s joke as she leaned against him. You looked around the room and back at him. "How about you? You looked exhausted."

Azriel leaned a bit closer; you both were touching at this point. "Celebrating losses? Well, I suppose we are opposites because we're celebrating wins." A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he leaned to grab his drink from the table and took a sip. Not breaking eye contact with you. "What’d you lose, little fawn?"

"Personally, I didn’t lose anything, just supporting my friend- who is getting very comfortable with your friend over there," You glance at him as he notices them with a smile on his face. "She needed a little pick me up, rough day for her."

"Hopefully tonight will be better for her then," He smiled. "Also, don’t worry about Rhysand; taking home drunk girls was in his early twenties. He was captivated by her dancing. Wait til he finds out, she lives down the hall from him." a teasing tone in his voice. "Clubs are nice and all, but do you want to get out of here? Maybe grab some food?"

Was he asking you out, was he expecting more, is it okay to have a playful fling with your extremely attractive neighbor?

As Azriel’s gaze bore into yours, your mind raced with questions and doubts. Was he asking you out? Did you want him to? The alcohol buzzed in your veins, clouding your thoughts and judgments. Loosening your inhibitions. “Yes” escaped your lips without a second guess, the words hanging in the air like an unspoken promise. 

The two of you left; Rhysand had given you his number and said that he would take Feyre home and he would text you when he did. Nice guy, especially for paying for your drinks the whole night.

Azriel took your hand, his large hands grabbing your soft ones. The callouses from working out rubbing against your soft palm. A part of you wondered what they would feel like around your… no, no naughty thoughts, you barely just met the guy. He had guided you outside the club.

"Do you like ramen?" He asked as he looked down at you; he was nearly a foot taller than you. You gave a small nod, and he guided you to a place he knew down the street from your apartment. You were starting to limp, your heels scraping the back of your ankles causing a blister. Azriel looked down and noticed before stopping at a bench.

"Sit here, I’ll be right back," He said with a smile before doing a slight jog to the nearby convenience store. The cold breeze made you slightly shiver. A curious glance at the back of Azriel as he entered the store a block away. Perhaps, he was getting beer?

Moments later, Azriel came back with a bag. He pulled out a package of bandaids and bent down on one knee. Looking up at you he murmured in a soft voice, "Can I touch you?" a blush met your cheeks as you nodded. His warm hands took off your high heels and placed a bandaid on the blisters. His touch was gentle. "There," he said softly "I can carry you if you want?" He looked up at you, his eyes that once seemed intimidating, almost seemed like a puppy full of concern.

"It’s fine," you responded bashfully, "You didn’t have to do that, you know," looking away from his gaze.

"I wanted to, I can imagine that high heels alone don’t feel good, much less with the addition of blisters. How about we postpone ramen and instead get you home," He smiled before reaching for your phone. “I’ll add my number, so make sure you save the date.”

Azriel even took a selfie for the contact photo, a gift honestly to see this man’s angelic face.

After placing his contact information in your phone, he put your high heels back on and stood up, reaching for your hand. “Let’s get going, shall we?” You nodded and took his hand, feeling the scars. Perhaps one day, you’ll learn about them.

Tag list: @lilah-asteria, @brieflyclassymortal