Acotar Fanfiction - Tumblr Posts
“It’s really brave, you know.” Lucien continued. “Being willing to try again. After so long.”
Tamlin winced, running his hands through his hair. “Trying means nothing if you can barely speak. She’s more likely to open up to you than to me. Face it — Luci, I’m a lost cause.”
“You talk to me.” Lucien shrugged. “How can it really be that different?”
“You…are my friend.” Tamlin said slowly, painfully. “It is different.”
a ballad of thorns & roses | chapter seven | by @positivelyruined | release on April 30th
{ If you like my writing, please send me writing prompts! Here is what I write:
Tamlin, High Lord of Spring.
Tamlin + his family
Tamlin + the Archeron Sisters
Tamlin + Lucien
Tamlin + others (Potentially? Suggest.)
Feylin
Tamcien
Eltamcien
Tamgwyn
Brilin
Any reblogged prompts.}
I love this!!
Hi!! Can I request the bat boys snapping at the reader for no reason/not her fault and then they realize they made a mistake and try to make it up to her (I kinda love groveling…)
How the batboys apologize after hurting your feelings…
Rhysand
It was after a day in the Court of Nightmares
It always stressed him out, but this time, it was particularly bad.
He hated who he had to become with each visit to the Hewn City—the persona he had to take on.
He didn’t say a word when he arrived home, which worried you immediately.
You went to him, and as soon as you reached to hug him he hissed, “Don’t touch me.”
You jumped at his tone, unable to hide the tears forming in your eyes.
His expression dropped as he realized what he’d done, but you left the room before he could apologize.
He left you alone for a couple of hours, cooking dinner for the two of you.
He apologized at the table, voice cracking in pain at what he’d done to you.
When the two of you went to bed that night, he held you tightly, whispering apologies and sweet nothings over and over.
The next morning when you woke up, there were flowers on the bed, and breakfast was waiting downstairs.
Rhys was in the kitchen only wearing an apron.
Cassian
The two of you were sparring.
Cassian had always been hard on you when it came to training. He pushed you to be the best you could.
But he went too far, this time.
You were panting, sweaty, and exhausted, but Cassian was relentless.
You hunched over, hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath.
Cassian told you, without thinking, “You’ll never be good enough if you keep giving up.”
He had meant it to be motivational, but Cassian, ever the charmer, said it quite harshly.
As Cassian saw your teary-eyed expression, a string of curses fell from his lips. “Shit, baby, I...”
You ignored Cassian, and wordlessly retreated to your room, tears streaming down your face.
He found you in the bathtub, wings drooping behind him. He grabbed a wash cloth, silently wiping away the grime and sweat from your body, kissing any exposed skin he could reach.
He muttered countless apologies, telling you how stupid he is, and how scared he is to lose you.
Later, he apologized with his tongue, his hands, his…well, you get it.
Azriel
At first, he hadn’t even realized he hurt your feelings.
In truth, it wasn’t a huge deal, but you’d been telling him about a book you were reading, excitement lining your face and words.
You’d thought he was listening, until he turned and said, “I’m busy.”
The words stung, but you nodded, quietly leaving his study.
Azriel was confused when you didn’t re-emerge from your shared room that evening. He found you in bed, wrapped in the blankets, your book in hand.
“What chapter are you on?” He asked, curious as he climbed in bed beside you.
“Not like you’d care,” you muttered, annoyed as you turned away from him.
His brows furrowed in confusion, but then a long sigh left him as he realized. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured, pulling you against his chest.
He peppered your neck and shoulder with kisses, murmuring words of comfort and apology.
He also apologized with his tongue between your legs. ANYWAYS
Afterwards, he listened intently as you told him about your book, and the next day, he came home with several more books that you’d been wanting.
If you can, please reblog this with your favorite feysand fics!! I need some delicious new ones to cuddle up with 😚
A Court of Blue and Gold
ACOTAR Fanfiction: Azriel x OC, OC x OC
Tropes: Unrequited love, angst, fated mates, sunshine character x black cat character
TW: mentions of: abuse, torture, rape, kidnapping, abandonment, war, violence, self harm, substance abuse, death
Part 1
Prologue :
Chapter 1:
Chapter 2
Note: Only proof read twice, apologies for any mistakes. This is long, so sorry for that too just wanted to get her backstory out of the way.
Warning there are themes that can be triggering in this chapter and they are only touched on briefly, i hope it doesn't come across as insensitive.
Alyra sat on the edge of the plush sofa, she wasn’t used to the feeling and didn’t plan on starting now. Nesta sat next to her gently cradling her hand and Rhysand sat opposite her in an arm chair, “I’m going to enter your mind Alyra is that still ok?” She nodded again, she didn’t understand why these people and fae were asking for her permission what she wanted didn’t matter, it never mattered. ‘I’m so sorry you think that, no one should have ever made you feel that. I meant it when I said you always have a choice from now on little fae.’ She tensed a little, she didn’t realise he was in her head that quickly, she also wondered what the point of having Nesta there was if she couldn’t hear.
He chuckled a little, ‘It does work that quickly and I have opened up our connection so Nesta can hear you too.’
‘Oh, that makes sense. What did you need to speak to me about High Lord?’ Her voice in her head became one of polite subservience.
‘Please call me Rhys, technically I’m not your High Lord,’ he smirked slightly at her.
“He most definitely is not!” Alyra gave a slightly amused sidelong glance at the out spoken woman next to her.
‘I would like to know your story, so I can help you,’ Rhys continued.
‘That would be a dangerous mistake, High, umm Rhys, first I have no story of importance and second the few who have helped me, ended up dead,’ Alyra answered him.
‘I assure you, you have a story, I will decide if it is of any importance and I am the most powerful High Lord in Prythian, someone would have to put a lot of effort in to kill me.’ He said with a hint of arrogance.
She looked a little surprised / impressed, Nesta and Rhysand couldn’t tell, ‘Ok I guess, but if you do end up getting killed…’
He looked at her seriously but full of concern, ‘I’ll take my chances, please go on.’
Alyra turned her head towards Nesta, ‘I suppose I could be your sister, your eyes look familiar. But the human man who I thought was my father took me to the queens palace when I was 10 years old.’
“I remember that, I was really angry because father was taking you to the continent and you were going to see a real palace and queens. I was even madder that you got to stay there, mother told me that the queens had liked you so much that they wanted you to stay so you could grow up in court and learn to be a proper lady. I was so young and so easily fooled, I’m so sorry,” Nesta gently squeezed Alyra’s hand.
‘I’m guessing that’s not what happened?’ Rhys encouraged her to go on.
‘No. The father said I was a gift to the queens. I remember standing in that throne room feeling excited and in such awe of the beautiful palace.’ She sighed as if struggling to remember.
‘You don’t have to tell us, I can see the memory if that’s easier?’ Rhys assured her.
She nodded. Rhys shared his view with Nesta and they watched Alyra’s memory: The queens talked among themselves and then the oldest one turned to the pretty girl with blue green eyes, golden hair with little points of her ears peeking through the strands of gold. The old queen said “You are no gift. You are a curse, you are a reminder of the times when the evil fae kept us as slaves. So that is what you will be, you will be our slave and you will do any task or work we ask of you. We have separate courts and you will spend four years in each of our courts under our service and after twenty four years, if you’re still alive, well the queen you serve last will decide what to do with you. If you disobey us, try to run or any other act of treason you will be severely punished.” The little halfling girl looked terrified, she turned to see if the father was hopefully still there but there was no sign of him. The four of the queens even one that looked her age, grinned evilly at her, one with flame red hair averted her gaze altogether and the other very young queen with golden hair looked bored. The old one nodded again and a guard stalked over to her and grabbed her by the hair, she screamed and cried out as he dragged her away.
Darkness was floating around Rhysand, and he and Nesta looked murderous, “How dare they, you were a child!” She spat out.
Alyra shrugged and Rhys restraining his emotions spoke in her head again, ‘What happened next little fae?’
‘The same thing that happens to all slaves I guess, I was made to do all kids of menial chores, particularly ones most would never want to do. Cleaning up, washing, mending, fixing things, cleaning up the queens and others bathing rooms after they.., cleaning up after the animals… those were the better tasks I suppose…’ She took a breath.
‘Go on little fae, I need to know everything.’ Rhys carefully coaxed her to continue.
‘Well I wasn’t the best at all those things at first and I got punished, they whipped me among other punishments. As I got older I started getting fae magic and they put these on me, when the magic tried to surface it burned.’ She held up her spare arm and showed one of the ash wood spikes with steel bars either end, that had been pierced and threaded through the skin on the outer side of her wrist. Nesta tentatively pushed back the sleeve of the arm hand she had a hold of and both she and Rhysand paled.
‘Did they do that to your ears too, to punish you?’ He asked her.
‘No that wasn’t one of the punishments, that was the doctors, they used to experiment on me, they would cut the ends of my ears off to see if they would grow back or stay more human like, they gave me powders and tonics that mostly made me sick, they took my blood and burned me…’ She wasn’t sure how much detail they wanted, nothing could affect her anymore but she had realised a few answers ago that it was all very much affecting the High Lord and the woman who might very well be her half-sister.
‘Because these doctors experimented on you so much is that why you look a lot less malnourished than other slaves or servants,’ Nesta asked because she and her sisters knew what it was like to starve, and they were skin and bone and strangely this woman was all roundness and curves.
‘No, one of the younger queens hated that I looked younger and more beautiful, because of my fae blood. She was very jealous and would have parties where she, her courtiers and visiting guests force fed me. The next queen kept up the tradition because she thought it would keep her husband and his friends from bedding the half fae slave…’
‘It didn’t stop them, did it little fae?’ Alyra looked at Rhysand and wondered why he looked as though he would shed a tear any minute, like he knew of the pain and terror Alyra used to feel after those nights. That was until she stopped caring.
Nesta could hardly find her own voice but asked quietly, “How did you lose your voice?”
‘All of those nightly visits led to me being with child, this happened a few times. I lost the first two before term, the last one was born and had fae ears…’ Alyra let tears fall but quickly wiped them away. Even though she felt nothing, the few times she had relived that memory, her body always reacted like that. She went on, ‘The queen I was serving ordered her to be killed, I screamed and cried nonstop. So much so, that they couldn’t stand it and they found a spell from someone powerful, I don’t know who and the spell took my voice, silenced me forever. I risked punishment after that and stole a broach to get a tonic from a gypsy travelling through the palace, she gave me a contraceptive tonic and showed me how to make it. I was whipped bloody that night but I didn’t care at least I would never go through that pain again. I guess that was when I really stopped caring if I lived or died…’ She shrugged.
‘I can’t imagine… Little fae I assure you, you will never have to go through that pain again,’ Rhys had stood and knelt in front of her as he made the declaration.
Alyra continued to look at the floor, ’Demeta said things like that all the time, I still had to serve her for four years, nothing like the others, just a regular maid really, but I was still a slave.’
‘And now you’re free and I will help you. Let’s start by getting you cleaned up,’ Nesta led Alyra up to one of the guest rooms where she knew Elain had prepared the bath. Nesta showed Alyra where everything was, “I’ll lay some fresh clothes out on your bed, I’m sorry it looks like Elain couldn’t find any of our blouses to fit you but this shirt and this skirt that with ties that wrap the waist could do… It also looks like she has left you an old pair of her slippers, I will get something sorted tomorrow. There’s oils there for your bath,” She paused and looked at the woman. “You’ve never used oils for yourself, have you?” Alyra shook her head. Nesta picked one up and put a few drops in the water, she then picked up another and put it next to the bath, “I think jasmine suits you for scent and the other is for your hair. Rinse your hair, run a little of the oil through it and then rinse again.” She looked at Alyra and the young woman had started to undress, “Oh, I will leave you to it then. I will be downstairs with the others, if you need anything, um bang on the floor.”
While Nesta had taken Alyra upstairs Rhys had joined his mate and the rest of his family in the dining room. Feyre stood and went to him instantly, “Mor left with the book, we didn’t think it wise to keep it here too long.” He nodded, as she took his hand, he was still in shock from learning what his sister in law had been through. “What is it my love, you look terrible. What did you learn about her?”
Rhys shook his head to bring himself back to the room, “I can show you all because I don’t know if I can literally speak about some of it.” He showed them all in their minds, as he went through the details of the last 20 years of Alyra’s life he could see the looks on their faces, hatred, rage, nausea, shock and horror. He noticed that each of them had either shed a tear or had tears threatening. “Now that you know, it is up to you if you want to keep that knowledge. If not, I understand, they are horrific and I will wipe them from your memories.”
“As horrible as it was to hear, that a sister I didn’t know I had, went through all of that, I don’t want to forget. We share everything my love.” Feyre squeezed her mates hand.
“It’s fucked up, but I don’t want to forget,” Cassian agreed.
Azriel looked darker and more dangerous than Rhys had seen him display in a long time, his shadows usually the only thing showing his emotions, were swirling angrily around him, “Don’t take them,” he said with measured steel.
Nesta had just returned and stood next to Elain, “They made me forget her once. I will never forget her or anything about her again, no matter how horrible.”
Elain looked sick, pale, pained and terrified as if it was all too much for her, “Take them please, just leave me with the knowledge that her life as a slave for the queens was horrific, just not the specifics please.”
Rhys nodded and, in an instant, it was done. He knew they should leave they had been there longer than expected, his mate knew too, having just spoken to him in his mind. He noticed that Cassian had moved to stand closer to Nesta, Azriel however stayed back near the wall, shadows lightened a little floating near the ceiling where his eyes kept drifting. He turned to Nesta and Elain again, “It is your choice, ladies, whether you wish to remain here, or come with us. You have heard the situation at hand. You have done the math about an evacuation.” A nod of approval as he met Nesta’s grey-blue stare. Should you choose to remain, a unit of my soldiers will be here within the hour to guard this place. Should you wish to come live with us in that city we just showed them, I’d suggest packing now.”
Nesta looked to Elain, still silent and wide-eyed. Elain thumbed the iron ring on her finger. “I want to keep Alyra close to us to look after her and you, so this, it is your choice,” Nesta said again with that unusual gentleness that had only surfaced when Alyra had appeared at their doorstep.
Elain had decided she couldn’t go, even though despair had paled Nesta’s face. She bowed her head to thank Rhys for the protection and kindness, then said to Feyre, “That is why you painted stars on your drawer.”
Alyra had silently appeared at the door, the clothes were cleaner than the ones she turned up in but no better fitting. “I promise I will get you some new dresses, shoes and things that fit properly tomorrow,” Nesta said and made room for Alyra to stand between her and Elain.
“I will get some now, they will be here within the hour. Even if you’re staying here I want to make sure you have everything you need.” Rhysand had seen this young halfling’s pain, so bad that it broke her. His, even over fifty years, paled in comparison. He felt for her like a sibling, like the sister he lost and he wanted to do everything and anything to protect her and bring her back to life. “I will have a sentry come to the house every day at noon and midnight if your sisters have anything they want to say or need from us. I will be looking everywhere for a way to get those things out of you and get your voice back. In the meantime, this is for you, it is magic paper and pen, you can write to me any time and the message will reach me anywhere. No matter where I am, I will always reply, I promise you that little fae.” He handed her the paper and pen, she took them and they were sure they could see a flicker of hope in her eyes, it vanished quickly and she nodded.
In her head Alyra said, “Thank you, Rhysand.” She stood with her sisters as the fae vanished, before the Shadowsinger left his shadows quickly and lightly wove through the fingers of Alyra’s free hand, then around her wrist a couple of times. Rhysand noticed that the action didn’t alarm Alyra, she closed her eyes and her breathing steadied, it was as if for a moment, they were calming her. For a moment she felt the freedom she had and she was at peace.
Insecurities (Eris x reader)
A/n: random, completely winging this, typed from my phone, please excuse and mistakes definitely not proof read. Prob a bad title too.
Ok so you and Eris are mates and he is about to try to kill Beron.
masterlist
⚠️: none?
word count: 1371
You knew your mate was worried; he never closed off his side of the bond unless he thought it was necessary. And Eris almost never thought it was necessary. But with less than a week until Eris planned to kill Beron, you knew he was insecure. But you didn’t know how insecure, so you wrapped up your long meeting with the ambassadors and quickly hurried t your shared room
When you opened the door to your room you were not expecting a ring of fire surrounded Eris and your mate on his knees, body covered with fire.
You hesitated, you were from the Dawn Court and your wings were definitely not immune to fire, nor was your body. Beron had only allowed the marriage because you were Thesan’s cousin and it would secure an alliance with the Dawn Court. But Beron didn’t know you were mates as Eris took great care to hide that. Beron hadn’t threatened you because that would put his alliance on thin ice. Unfortunately being Eris’ mate didn’t make you immune to fire.
You circled around so Eris could see you and started to reach a hand out towards the fire. Eris glanced up, his face stone cold and eyes guarded.
“Leave Y/n, please just leave me alone.”
You would do no such thing, even as his words hit your heart right where your own insecurities were. Does he still want me? Will he stop loving me one day? What if I'm not enough? You pushed the thoughts aside and focused on your mate. Slowly you took a step towards the fire. Another. Another. Until you were right in front of the fire, you could feel the heat of the fire, but it wasn't too hot. So you took another step, the fire immediately split around you.
Eris lifted his head and frowned at the fire as if it had a mind of its own. The fire surrounding his body retreated as you slowly pulled him into you. His back against your chest, one of your arms resting over his sternum, the other arm tangled in his hair. He was so tense that you leaned forward and whispered words in his ear.
"My mate, it may not be fine now but you will grow and heal and it will be better than fine. I love you and nothing you do will ever change that, you are good, you are kind and respectful and have never treated me with anything but. I am yours and you are mine and I love you. I love every part of you and I always will."
Eris hesitated to relax into you and you knew it was because he didn't want anyone to see him like this. Vulnerable and raw. You continued stroking his hair and occasionally whispered soft reassurances in his ear.
But he stiffened suddenly and sat up, not meeting your eyes, shutting you out. "I thought I told you to leave Y/n, if you can't follow that order at least shut the hell up and stop touching me! I can't stand it, you're so needy and you're always demanding something from me. Just go away, let me have a day of peace!"
Eris turned away from you as his words struck your heart deep, but you didn't go. You sat by him for the next few hours as he shouted things at you that went straight through your walls and to your heart. But you stayed and when he fell asleep you picked him up in your arms and set him on the bed. Tucking him in, you glanced at the clock. It was 6am. Shit, you were both already late for your morning meetings.
You left the room with a concerned glance at your mate even as you wondered if he meant his words. You went to his meeting in the night court first and when you got there a dagger was at your throat.
"Who are you? What have you done with Eris?"
You looked up to see the spymaster, you grimaced, "Eris is fine and I am his mate here to meet with the high lord in his place."
The spymaster hesitated before leading you to a meeting room already filled with the night court inner circle. You got straight to the point, "Alright first things first, I don't know when my mate will make his move but I can say with certainty that it will be in less than a week. Eris is stressed and tired and please to not pressure him, I'm not doing much better but I am already late to a meeting with the captain of Eris' loyal soldiers. So please excuse my mate and let him rest."
Everyone stared at you with shock before Rhysand nodded, "Tell Eris to come meet with us when he is ready, we have the supplies he asked for. And you can go meet with the captain and after that I think you should get some rest."
You smiled at him and nodded, "thank you high lord" before you winnowed out to another meeting.
You gave the captain a similar speech and he nodded. "Tell the Heir to get rest; he can't defeat Beron without strength, and tell him to come at least 5 hours before he makes his move. We need a heads up to be ready. Thank you mi'lady, but may I suggest you cancel the rest fo the meetings today?"
You laughed, "Why is everyone so worried about me? I'm not the one about to attempt overthrowing the throne! And captain, my next meeting is in the night, I should be good. Plus how many times do I have to say you can call me Y/n?
The captain and his soldiers stared at you until one spoke up. "I don't mean to be rude Y/n but have you looked at yourself recently?"
You blinked at the soldiers before nodding, "I suppose I should do that. Thank you."
When you got back to your room Eris was awake and eating breakfast at the desk while reading reports. He glanced up and his face was so cold and devoid of emotion that all your insecurities from his words the night before came rushing back. You stopped at his side and he pulled you into his lap stiffly.
Eventually you dared to speak, "I... did you mean what you said last night? Am I really needy and demanding?"
He stared down at you, expression softening immediately. "No I didn't sweetheart, I had a long day of work and you know what's coming up but I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You are all I could ask for in a mate, you do everything for me and ask for nothing in return. You stayed even when I told you to go because you know me and knew I didn't mean it. But I'm willing to bet everything I said hurt you, and I'm infinitely sorry for that. I will make it up in every way if you can forgive me."
You smiled at Eris, expression slightly pained but you nodded. "I will forgive you Eris Vanserra, and I know my cracked heart will heal eventually, with your help." Eris's answering smile was as bright as the sun. "I also met with the night court," Eris stiffened and you quickly added, "Rhysand wishes to meet with you when you're ready and the Captain needs you to notify him at least 5 hours before you know what so he can get his troops ready. They both told me to sleep as well but I don't understand why...."
Eris looked at you amused and stood up, carrying you to the full body mirror. You blinked at your reflection. There were dark circles under your eyes, your hair was unkempt, you clothes were singed at the edges and there was a little cut on your neck from where the spymaster had held a knife to your throat. You gaped at yourself.
Eris kissed the top of your head, "sleep my little fox, I will be here when you wake and I can start my apology." Your body heated but you smiled at him and drifted into unconscious.
A/n: hope you enjoyed! Constructive criticism, comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated. I swear I actually look at them
Home Late (Azriel x reader)
A/n: something... i will update one day
i was gonna do this with Lucien due to @thelov3lybookworm but I wasn't sure it'd work well with him so... here we are (also back to second person)
wc: 768
⚠️: uh... Az? angst ig but that usually happens
masterlist
*****
You wave goodbye to Jess as he winnows away. You've been gone for hours planning a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend, Azriel. His birthday was next week and he hadn't had a party in his whole century of living. You open the door to your shared townhouse and grin at the memory of the dazzling blue dress you'd picked out. You wave goodbye to Jess as he winnows away. You've been gone for hours planning a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend, Azriel. His birthday was next week and he hadn't had a party in his whole century of living. You open the door to your shared townhouse and grin at the memory of the dazzling blue dress you'd picked out.
"Azzzzz?"
Silence follows your cheerful shout and you head down the hallway with a slight frown. You find Azriel in his study, bent of a pile of papers.
"Hey Azzie!" You smile as you lean against the doorway but your smile quickly drops into a pout when Az ignores you.
"Az?"
He doesn't even blink.
You approach your boyfriend nervously and tap him on the shoulder. You know he sometimes gets into work phases and works for hours on end without food or sleep.
"Azriel? Have you eaten?"
He turns around so sharply that you step back. Your brows furrow. His eyes are hard and steely and show no emotion other than anger.
"No, I haven't eaten! And you know why?" His voice rises to a shout. "I spent hours, hours panicking over where you were! I almost sent out a damned search party to find you!"
"I-"
Az cuts you off. "You were gone for twelve hours!!" He prowls toward you, eyes narrowed in anger.
You pale, stepping back. You've never been afraid of Azriel but.... "I was out with Jess."
His muscles clench. Shit. Wrong thing to say, he hates Jess. "And you didn't bother to tell me?"
"You would have had a shadow follow me." You look down, the floor suddenly very interesting.
"How's that a problem? You've never had a problem with that before!"
"But-"
"But what!!?" His voice rises to a shout.
"But you'd know!"
He stills. "Know what!?"
"Um... it's a surprise." You didn't want to tell him about the surprise party. It is a surprise party after all.
Azriel's voice is resigned and betrayed when he next speaks, "Are you cheating on me?"
Your mouth falls open. "No! I would never!"
"Then what can't I know?" His voice rises again and shadows swirl around him in a frenzy. You step back and your back hits the wall. His eyes glow with a feral emotion that you can't place as he approaches.
"Az..."
He places a hand on either side of you, effectively caging you in. He leans in to whisper in your ear.
"Did you fuck him?"
"I wasn't cheating on you!!" Your voice rises now.
"Then what in the Cauldrens name were you doing??" He pins one of your wrists to the wall when you try to push him away. Azriel brings his face close to yours. "What. Were. You. Doing?"
His grip on your wrist hurt and you know you'll have bruises. "Throwing you a damn surprise party, that's what!!"
Azriel stares at you and his scowl immediately melts off his face. "Oh darling, I'm so fucking sorry." He steps back. A look of shame and pain etched on his face as he stares at the ground.
You step forward hesitantly. "Az..."
He laughs slightly. "I've lost track how many times you've said that. I'm sorry Y/n, I'll go."
"No! Why would you go?"
"I never deserved you." He starts to turn away.
You snatch at his arm, wrapping your arms around him. "I love you Az. Nothing you did tonight can possibly change that. Except for maybe over working."
He chuckles into your hair. "I love you too."
"But you know... if you really want me to forgive you." A smirk decorates your face. "You could sing for me?"
Despite the many times you've asked, begged, and used your puppy eyes to get him to sing. Azriel has never sung.
He groans. "Just like you to guilt trip me."
***
A week later
"You look beautiful!" Morrigan grins as she circles around your body.
"Are you-"
"Yes! Go! Have fun, knock Az of his feet!" She pushes you out the door and locks it behind you.
"Rude." You mutter.
"Y/n..."
You turn around at your boyfriend's voice. "Az!" He stares at you as you run towards him.
You trip over air and start fall. Azriel jumps forward and catches you. "Y/n! Are you alright?"
You look up at him meeting his eyes. "Thanks-"
A snap sounds in you ears and you and Azriel stare at eachother. You follow the golden thread connected to your soul and tug. Azriel jerks towards you. "You- my- mate."
You lean up and kiss him. "My mate. Happy 589th birthday!"
tagging:
@profound-imagination @stargirl1714
her smile
azriel x reader
summary: Y/N is having a rough time, Azriel doesn’t know how to help her... until he does (angst, friends to lovers, Archeron!reader).
word count: 3k
warnings: grief, despair
a/n: I swear I have not abandoned ‘the heir & the emissary’. I’ve been going through some personal stuff lately and haven’t had it in me to write lately until this idea sparked my inspiration. I’ll be getting back to that story soon.
————
The corners of his mouth ticked up as he looked around the room and saw nothing but smiles. It was a cold night in Velaris and the inner circle was gathered at the townhouse enjoying a relaxing night together, filled with liquor and laughter. It had become increasingly rare that everyone was able to get together like this.
“I can’t believe Y/N’s finally coming home tomorrow. Definitely wasn’t expecting her mission to keep her away for so long.” Mor stated, gaining the rooms full attention.
“It’ll be awesome to have her back, it’s been a bit lonely without my partner in crime. I’m excited.” Cassian exclaimed, “though probably not quite as excited as Az.” A smirk overtook his face as he turned toward his brother.
Azriel scoffed, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, but was ultimately unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face.
He had missed her terribly. He missed her infectious laughter, her shining eyes and the way she never failed to make him feel seen. But most of all, he missed her bright smile. The one she saved just for him. The kind of smile that lit up a room and always reached her eyes. It never failed to make his heart flutter. From the moment he met her, the eldest Archeron sister had whittled her way into his heart and had quickly become his closest confidant. The two had become inseparable and the way she so easily slipped into the empty spaces of his life, making him finally feel whole, never ceased to amaze him. Despite the trauma she had suffered, she always remained the bright sunshine capable of lighting up his dark world.
“Yes, well none of us expected the clean up efforts to go on for quite so long,” Rhys handed a freshly filled glass to Azriel as he took a seat on the couch beside him, pulling Feyre into his lap. “When I originally asked her to lend her gifts to aid those in need, I only thought she’d be gone a few weeks. Certainly not a few months.”
Before anyone else could speak on the topic, the air seemed to ripple around them and Lucien stepped out of nothingness. He wore an uncharacteristically grim expression and his hair seemed disheveled, as though he has been nervously running his fingers through it. Azriel was immediately on edge.
“I’m glad you’re all here because I need to talk to you,” he stated.
“Lucien. What brings you here tonight? I thought you were meant to be picking up Y/N?” Rhys raised one brown in question.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about. She’s-” Lucien set out a long sigh. He turned to the cabinet and pulled out a glass, quickly popping open the nearest bottle and filling the it. “She’s… well I’m not really sure how to explain it.”
“Okay, you seem stressed. Take a breath and then tell us what has you so bothered. Is Y/N okay?” Feyre sat up in Rhys’ lap, the tension of the room beginning to escalate. Her oldest sister has always been her anchor, keeping her grounded. Through thick and thin, any problem Feyre had she always knew Y/N would be there to help her through it. For as close as Nesta and Elain had been, her and Y/N had been thick as thieves.
“Physically? Yes. Mentally? Not even close.” Lucien exhaled and his shouldered sagged.
Azriel sat up straighter, his shadows beginning to move around him in an agitated fashion. His heart rate picked up and sweat started to gather on his palms. “What do you mean?” He asked, voice rougher than usual.
“I had gone there tonight with the intention of helping her gather her belongings and prepare for the trip home but I barely even made it through the door when the head healer pulled me aside. She said Y/N’s healing had some… unforeseen side effects. Essentially, from what she could gather, every time Y/N uses her energy to heal, she absorbs the energy of those around her to create a balance. In normal circumstances this would probably be fine but doing it in the healers tents of an old battle field… well she’s been surrounded by nothing by grief and death all these months. She’s been taking it all in and now…” His sentence trailed off. He ran is hands through his hair, staring down at his feet.
“And now?” Cassian asked. The room was so quiet even a human could hear a pin drop.
“She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t really do much of anything but stare off into nothing. And her eyes, Gods, her eyes. They’re so lifeless, it’s like an empty shell of who she was.” Lucien felt a shiver run through him at the thought of her eyes, the way she had looked at him when he saw her for the first time. “I’m going back tomorrow morning to pick her up, but I had to let you all know so you aren’t shocked when you see her.”
Azriel froze, back stiff and eyes wide. His shadows were moving in a frenzy around him. His grip tightened on the glass he was holding as his knuckles turned white. That couldn’t be right.
Nobody spoke, the room a silent stillness. No one knew what to say.
————
The inner circle gathered around the dining room table. A low rumble of conversation consumed them, much more tame than what would usually be expected at a family dinner. The tension could be cut with a knife. Each member sat rigidly in their seat, unsure of what to expect upon her arrival.
Suddenly the sound of the front door opening could be heard reverberating through the house and the soft sound of footsteps followed in its wake. Azriel took a deep breath as his eyes connected with Mor who sat directly across from him. She gave him a tight-lipped smile. His heart was racing and sweat was beading on the back of his neck. His shadows were restless too, swarming him in a fit of nervousness.
Lucien appeared first, a small smile gracing his lips. “Hello everyone,” he stated as he sat down in the empty seat beside Elain. As he sat down, everyone’s eyes moved the body which had been previously hidden behind him. And there she was.
Y/N’s stood in the dining room entry way, straight as a board with her hands clasped behind her back. Her frame appeared thinner than he remembered and even her hair seemed to lack its usual liveliness. But in the end, it was her eyes that caused his heart to clench. They were empty and unseeing, as though she were staring through them.
He stood from his seat, the silent tension beginning to get to him. Nobody spoke. He pulled out the empty seat next to him and the sound caused her head to turn in his direction. Their gazes met and for moment, they simply stared at each other. Then she began to move as she swiftly and silently she settled into the seat beside him. Still, no words were spoken.
“We’re so happy you’re home!” Feyre exclaimed, allowing a large smile to spread across her face. Y/N turned her head in Feyre’s direction but said nothing. No smile graced her lips, no light sparked in her eyes.
Nothing.
“Remember us? Your sisters. You’re not even going to say ‘hello’ to us?” Nesta spoke up, irritation beginning to creep up her spine.
Nothing.
“I missed you Sunshine,” Cassian tried his hand. A warm smile upon his face as he looked at her. “Turns out, these losers aren’t nearly as fun to prank without you there to assist me.”
Nothing.
Azriel simply stared at her. His eyes were locked onto the side of her head as his heart began to fill with dread. His stomach felt as though it had been filled with lead. He reach out and grabbed her hand beneath the table as it sat in her lap.
Please. He begged. Please react. Do something, anything. He prayed to any Gods that may be listening.
Still, nothing.
Cassian looked across the table to his brother and winced. Through all the trials and tribulations they had faced, he had never seen Azriel look as distressed as he did now. His body was stiff with tension and even his shadows were pulled in tight. A pained expression adorned his face and his eyes were wide with horror, tears gathering along his lower lashes. He would not take his eyes off her. Despite all attempts, Y/N remained unmoving, blankly staring at the wooden table before her. All the while, Az steadfastly refused to let go of her hand. He had no idea if she even knew he was there but he hoped that maybe, in some small way, he was providing her some comfort.
————
And that’s how the weeks carried on. No emotions, no speech. Y/N remained as she was, floating through each day like a ghost.
The inner circle got to work.
Each person took turns to dig through archives and books looking for any sign of how to fix it. Rhys reached out to Helion in the hope that maybe, somewhere among his massive library, they would find a solution.
Azriel spent every waking moment he could either sitting beside her and speaking in soft tones or scouring countless books. There had to be an answer, if only he could find it.
Come to my office. Azriel heard his brothers voice in his mind and he let out a small sigh, shutting the book before him. Another waste.
Upon entering Rhys’ office he found both his brothers already seated. They each gave him a small smile as he took a seat beside them. Rhys leaned forward with his arms on his desk and his fingers crossed before him.
“I spoke with Helion about the situation and he believes he understands what is happening. Though we have yet to find a solution.”
Azriel stared across the desk at his brother, silently prompting him to continue.
“He believes that she’s burnt out much of her ability to heal and replaced that empty well with death, despair and grief. It had become such a common occurrence for her, that her body no longer registers those things as separate emotions. Essentially her baseline has been reprogrammed to those feelings.”
“So, she’s feeling grief and despair in a never-ending loop at all moments of the day? To the extent that it’s become her new normal?” Azriel spoke in a voice softer, sadder, than either Rhys or Cassian had ever heard before.
Rhys let out a small sigh, “essentially yes. We don’t have a set solution yet but Helion believes that if we can find a way to help her expel those emotions and surround her with comfort, we may be able to reverse it.”
Azriel’s eyes clenched tightly shut and his head dropped low, supported by his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. He hunched over as his shoulders began to shake violently. Both Cassian and Rhys shot up from their seats and made their way over to their brother. They crouched down beside him on either side and brought comforting hands up to his back.
“She’s always been there for me. When I’m feeling lost and alone she’s alway been able to pull me out of that darkness. This time she needs me and I can’t even help her. I don’t know how to fix this,” Azriel sobbed. “I can feel her withering away. Help me. Please. I don’t know what to do for her.”
His brothers locked eyes over his back and they shared a sad look. They had never heard Azriel beg before, had never heard him plead for help. Not like this.
“We’ll find a way to help her. I promise you, we will not stop until we find a way to make it right,” Rhys swore to him.
————
Surrounding her with love and support was the first plan set in motion. Even still, there was no progress. Mor took her shopping, Nesta brought her to spend time with Gwyn and Emerie. Even Elain tried to get her to garden alongside her. Nothing worked. She sat in silence, eyes blank.
The whole inner circle had once again gathered at the townhouse for another night in. Y/N was settled on the couch with her back pressed against the armrest and her knees pulled up to her chest. Her head was leaning against the back of the couch as she stared silently out the front window. The others were scattered around the living room, some taking part in a rowdy card game and others chatting quietly but Azriel couldn’t focus on anything but her. His eyes never strayed from her form, hoping against all odds that somehow she would respond to anything.
Rhys was sat next to him on the couch adjacent to the one Y/N sat upon. He leaned his head closer to his brother to hear him speak.
“I’m sending Amren to Day court tomorrow in the hopes she can go through some more of the books in the library there. Hopefully we get some good news soon.” Azriel nodded slowly; he wasn’t hopeful. He took another sip of his drink, and allowed himself a moment of calm. A moment to relax. And then it happened.
His shadows exploded out of him at the first sign of his hold on them loosening. He’d been keeping them so tightly wound in an effort to not startle her that as soon as his hold on them slackened they shot out towards her. His shadows swarmed her, covering Y/N completely and sheltering her from the world. He stood up quickly, ready to pull them back into him and apologize for their behavior. Before he could make a move though, he heard a small noise. Everyone went silent.
There it was again. A small, wet noise. A sniffle. Then, a hand shot out from the thick darkness, fingers making a grabbing motion.
“Azriel?” That voice. He knew that voice. His whole body froze, shock taking over him. “Azriel, please.” He moved with swiftness, reaching into the darkness and scooping her up, sitting on the couch and pulling her into his lap. He felt her thin fingers latch onto his shirt, holding on as though he were the only thing tethering her to this world. And then she began to sob. Loud, keening wails escaped her as she buried her face into his neck.
Nobody moved for fear of ruining this moment. It was what she needed, to expel these emotions.
“I-I want to go home,” she pleaded and she had barely even finished her request when they were swallowed up by darkness and carried off into the night.
A moment of silence passed over the group before Mor spoke up. “Where is he taking her? This is her home, she lives here.”
Cassian let out a huff, a little smile resting on his lips. “They’re in his room. She always used to call it home. I’m not sure how I seem to be the only who’s ever noticed but she basically lived in there with him.”
“What? Since when?” Feyre asked.
“For a long time. She always called this the townhouse or just ‘the house’ but his room, she always referred to it as home. From almost the beginning she started staying in there. They’d stay up late into the night talking. And then, slowly, her stuff just started migrating in there. If you don’t believe me, go look in her room. It’s barren.” Cassian smiled, widely this time. It thrilled him to know he’d been the only one observant enough to pick up on this fact.
“Do you think they’re like, together? Is that why he’s been taking this so hard? I just thought they were really close friends.” Feyre asked again, brows furrowing.
“Honestly, darling… I’m pretty positive they’re mates.” Feyre gasped.
“He told you that?!”
“No, not directly… but he didn’t have too. He was upset about the situation the other night and he said he could feel her withering away. I don’t think he even realized he said it, but he told us he could feel her.” And at that, smiles spread across each of their faces. Finally, they thought, the two people who deserved that kind of never ending, all-encompassing love, more than anyone were finally receiving it.
————
Azriel and Y/N reemerged in his bedroom. Silence surrounding them and only the sound of her short gasping breaths filling the space. He kept her tucked against him as he sat back on his bed against the headrest. She sat sideways between his legs, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other buried in her hair. He kept her head pressed close to him, his lips against her forehead.
“I’m here, love. I’m here for you.” He murmured against her skin, his eyes falling shut as salty tears ran down his cheeks and dripped off his chin into her hair. This was how they spent the remainder of their night; wrapped up in each other. They clung to each other as though the world might tear them apart at any moment.
“Thank you for being with me. I could hear you there with me, feel you with me, everyday. Not just when you were sitting with me but all the time. I can always feel you, and it helped more than I can ever truly tell you.” She whispered to him. She pulled back from where she had been tucked into the crook of his neck to look at him and felt a hard pull in her chest. And then a resounding snap.
Azriel gasped audibly as he stared down at her, wide eyed. A grin took over his face and he tucked her gently back against him. “I’m so happy I could help you in any small way like you’ve always done for me. And I will continue to be here for you, to love and cherish you always. For however long and any way you’ll have me.” She pulled back from him once more.
And then she smiled at him. Big and bright and stunningly beautiful. She was smiling at him once again.
her smile
azriel x reader
summary: Y/N is having a rough time, Azriel doesn’t know how to help her... until he does (angst, friends to lovers, Archeron!reader).
word count: 3k
warnings: grief, despair
a/n: I swear I have not abandoned ‘the heir & the emissary’. I’ve been going through some personal stuff lately and haven’t had it in me to write lately until this idea sparked my inspiration. I’ll be getting back to that story soon.
————
The corners of his mouth ticked up as he looked around the room and saw nothing but smiles. It was a cold night in Velaris and the inner circle was gathered at the townhouse enjoying a relaxing night together, filled with liquor and laughter. It had become increasingly rare that everyone was able to get together like this.
“I can’t believe Y/N’s finally coming home tomorrow. Definitely wasn’t expecting her mission to keep her away for so long.” Mor stated, gaining the rooms full attention.
“It’ll be awesome to have her back, it’s been a bit lonely without my partner in crime. I’m excited.” Cassian exclaimed, “though probably not quite as excited as Az.” A smirk overtook his face as he turned toward his brother.
Azriel scoffed, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, but was ultimately unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face.
He had missed her terribly. He missed her infectious laughter, her shining eyes and the way she never failed to make him feel seen. But most of all, he missed her bright smile. The one she saved just for him. The kind of smile that lit up a room and always reached her eyes. It never failed to make his heart flutter. From the moment he met her, the eldest Archeron sister had whittled her way into his heart and had quickly become his closest confidant. The two had become inseparable and the way she so easily slipped into the empty spaces of his life, making him finally feel whole, never ceased to amaze him. Despite the trauma she had suffered, she always remained the bright sunshine capable of lighting up his dark world.
“Yes, well none of us expected the clean up efforts to go on for quite so long,” Rhys handed a freshly filled glass to Azriel as he took a seat on the couch beside him, pulling Feyre into his lap. “When I originally asked her to lend her gifts to aid those in need, I only thought she’d be gone a few weeks. Certainly not a few months.”
Before anyone else could speak on the topic, the air seemed to ripple around them and Lucien stepped out of nothingness. He wore an uncharacteristically grim expression and his hair seemed disheveled, as though he has been nervously running his fingers through it. Azriel was immediately on edge.
“I’m glad you’re all here because I need to talk to you,” he stated.
“Lucien. What brings you here tonight? I thought you were meant to be picking up Y/N?” Rhys raised one brown in question.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about. She’s-” Lucien set out a long sigh. He turned to the cabinet and pulled out a glass, quickly popping open the nearest bottle and filling the it. “She’s… well I’m not really sure how to explain it.”
“Okay, you seem stressed. Take a breath and then tell us what has you so bothered. Is Y/N okay?” Feyre sat up in Rhys’ lap, the tension of the room beginning to escalate. Her oldest sister has always been her anchor, keeping her grounded. Through thick and thin, any problem Feyre had she always knew Y/N would be there to help her through it. For as close as Nesta and Elain had been, her and Y/N had been thick as thieves.
“Physically? Yes. Mentally? Not even close.” Lucien exhaled and his shouldered sagged.
Azriel sat up straighter, his shadows beginning to move around him in an agitated fashion. His heart rate picked up and sweat started to gather on his palms. “What do you mean?” He asked, voice rougher than usual.
“I had gone there tonight with the intention of helping her gather her belongings and prepare for the trip home but I barely even made it through the door when the head healer pulled me aside. She said Y/N’s healing had some… unforeseen side effects. Essentially, from what she could gather, every time Y/N uses her energy to heal, she absorbs the energy of those around her to create a balance. In normal circumstances this would probably be fine but doing it in the healers tents of an old battle field… well she’s been surrounded by nothing by grief and death all these months. She’s been taking it all in and now…” His sentence trailed off. He ran is hands through his hair, staring down at his feet.
“And now?” Cassian asked. The room was so quiet even a human could hear a pin drop.
“She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t really do much of anything but stare off into nothing. And her eyes, Gods, her eyes. They’re so lifeless, it’s like an empty shell of who she was.” Lucien felt a shiver run through him at the thought of her eyes, the way she had looked at him when he saw her for the first time. “I’m going back tomorrow morning to pick her up, but I had to let you all know so you aren’t shocked when you see her.”
Azriel froze, back stiff and eyes wide. His shadows were moving in a frenzy around him. His grip tightened on the glass he was holding as his knuckles turned white. That couldn’t be right.
Nobody spoke, the room a silent stillness. No one knew what to say.
————
The inner circle gathered around the dining room table. A low rumble of conversation consumed them, much more tame than what would usually be expected at a family dinner. The tension could be cut with a knife. Each member sat rigidly in their seat, unsure of what to expect upon her arrival.
Suddenly the sound of the front door opening could be heard reverberating through the house and the soft sound of footsteps followed in its wake. Azriel took a deep breath as his eyes connected with Mor who sat directly across from him. She gave him a tight-lipped smile. His heart was racing and sweat was beading on the back of his neck. His shadows were restless too, swarming him in a fit of nervousness.
Lucien appeared first, a small smile gracing his lips. “Hello everyone,” he stated as he sat down in the empty seat beside Elain. As he sat down, everyone’s eyes moved the body which had been previously hidden behind him. And there she was.
Y/N’s stood in the dining room entry way, straight as a board with her hands clasped behind her back. Her frame appeared thinner than he remembered and even her hair seemed to lack its usual liveliness. But in the end, it was her eyes that caused his heart to clench. They were empty and unseeing, as though she were staring through them.
He stood from his seat, the silent tension beginning to get to him. Nobody spoke. He pulled out the empty seat next to him and the sound caused her head to turn in his direction. Their gazes met and for moment, they simply stared at each other. Then she began to move as she swiftly and silently she settled into the seat beside him. Still, no words were spoken.
“We’re so happy you’re home!” Feyre exclaimed, allowing a large smile to spread across her face. Y/N turned her head in Feyre’s direction but said nothing. No smile graced her lips, no light sparked in her eyes.
Nothing.
“Remember us? Your sisters. You’re not even going to say ‘hello’ to us?” Nesta spoke up, irritation beginning to creep up her spine.
Nothing.
“I missed you Sunshine,” Cassian tried his hand. A warm smile upon his face as he looked at her. “Turns out, these losers aren’t nearly as fun to prank without you there to assist me.”
Nothing.
Azriel simply stared at her. His eyes were locked onto the side of her head as his heart began to fill with dread. His stomach felt as though it had been filled with lead. He reach out and grabbed her hand beneath the table as it sat in her lap.
Please. He begged. Please react. Do something, anything. He prayed to any Gods that may be listening.
Still, nothing.
Cassian looked across the table to his brother and winced. Through all the trials and tribulations they had faced, he had never seen Azriel look as distressed as he did now. His body was stiff with tension and even his shadows were pulled in tight. A pained expression adorned his face and his eyes were wide with horror, tears gathering along his lower lashes. He would not take his eyes off her. Despite all attempts, Y/N remained unmoving, blankly staring at the wooden table before her. All the while, Az steadfastly refused to let go of her hand. He had no idea if she even knew he was there but he hoped that maybe, in some small way, he was providing her some comfort.
————
And that’s how the weeks carried on. No emotions, no speech. Y/N remained as she was, floating through each day like a ghost.
The inner circle got to work.
Each person took turns to dig through archives and books looking for any sign of how to fix it. Rhys reached out to Helion in the hope that maybe, somewhere among his massive library, they would find a solution.
Azriel spent every waking moment he could either sitting beside her and speaking in soft tones or scouring countless books. There had to be an answer, if only he could find it.
Come to my office. Azriel heard his brothers voice in his mind and he let out a small sigh, shutting the book before him. Another waste.
Upon entering Rhys’ office he found both his brothers already seated. They each gave him a small smile as he took a seat beside them. Rhys leaned forward with his arms on his desk and his fingers crossed before him.
“I spoke with Helion about the situation and he believes he understands what is happening. Though we have yet to find a solution.”
Azriel stared across the desk at his brother, silently prompting him to continue.
“He believes that she’s burnt out much of her ability to heal and replaced that empty well with death, despair and grief. It had become such a common occurrence for her, that her body no longer registers those things as separate emotions. Essentially her baseline has been reprogrammed to those feelings.”
“So, she’s feeling grief and despair in a never-ending loop at all moments of the day? To the extent that it’s become her new normal?” Azriel spoke in a voice softer, sadder, than either Rhys or Cassian had ever heard before.
Rhys let out a small sigh, “essentially yes. We don’t have a set solution yet but Helion believes that if we can find a way to help her expel those emotions and surround her with comfort, we may be able to reverse it.”
Azriel’s eyes clenched tightly shut and his head dropped low, supported by his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. He hunched over as his shoulders began to shake violently. Both Cassian and Rhys shot up from their seats and made their way over to their brother. They crouched down beside him on either side and brought comforting hands up to his back.
“She’s always been there for me. When I’m feeling lost and alone she’s alway been able to pull me out of that darkness. This time she needs me and I can’t even help her. I don’t know how to fix this,” Azriel sobbed. “I can feel her withering away. Help me. Please. I don’t know what to do for her.”
His brothers locked eyes over his back and they shared a sad look. They had never heard Azriel beg before, had never heard him plead for help. Not like this.
“We’ll find a way to help her. I promise you, we will not stop until we find a way to make it right,” Rhys swore to him.
————
Surrounding her with love and support was the first plan set in motion. Even still, there was no progress. Mor took her shopping, Nesta brought her to spend time with Gwyn and Emerie. Even Elain tried to get her to garden alongside her. Nothing worked. She sat in silence, eyes blank.
The whole inner circle had once again gathered at the townhouse for another night in. Y/N was settled on the couch with her back pressed against the armrest and her knees pulled up to her chest. Her head was leaning against the back of the couch as she stared silently out the front window. The others were scattered around the living room, some taking part in a rowdy card game and others chatting quietly but Azriel couldn’t focus on anything but her. His eyes never strayed from her form, hoping against all odds that somehow she would respond to anything.
Rhys was sat next to him on the couch adjacent to the one Y/N sat upon. He leaned his head closer to his brother to hear him speak.
“I’m sending Amren to Day court tomorrow in the hopes she can go through some more of the books in the library there. Hopefully we get some good news soon.” Azriel nodded slowly; he wasn’t hopeful. He took another sip of his drink, and allowed himself a moment of calm. A moment to relax. And then it happened.
His shadows exploded out of him at the first sign of his hold on them loosening. He’d been keeping them so tightly wound in an effort to not startle her that as soon as his hold on them slackened they shot out towards her. His shadows swarmed her, covering Y/N completely and sheltering her from the world. He stood up quickly, ready to pull them back into him and apologize for their behavior. Before he could make a move though, he heard a small noise. Everyone went silent.
There it was again. A small, wet noise. A sniffle. Then, a hand shot out from the thick darkness, fingers making a grabbing motion.
“Azriel?” That voice. He knew that voice. His whole body froze, shock taking over him. “Azriel, please.” He moved with swiftness, reaching into the darkness and scooping her up, sitting on the couch and pulling her into his lap. He felt her thin fingers latch onto his shirt, holding on as though he were the only thing tethering her to this world. And then she began to sob. Loud, keening wails escaped her as she buried her face into his neck.
Nobody moved for fear of ruining this moment. It was what she needed, to expel these emotions.
“I-I want to go home,” she pleaded and she had barely even finished her request when they were swallowed up by darkness and carried off into the night.
A moment of silence passed over the group before Mor spoke up. “Where is he taking her? This is her home, she lives here.”
Cassian let out a huff, a little smile resting on his lips. “They’re in his room. She always used to call it home. I’m not sure how I seem to be the only who’s ever noticed but she basically lived in there with him.”
“What? Since when?” Feyre asked.
“For a long time. She always called this the townhouse or just ‘the house’ but his room, she always referred to it as home. From almost the beginning she started staying in there. They’d stay up late into the night talking. And then, slowly, her stuff just started migrating in there. If you don’t believe me, go look in her room. It’s barren.” Cassian smiled, widely this time. It thrilled him to know he’d been the only one observant enough to pick up on this fact.
“Do you think they’re like, together? Is that why he’s been taking this so hard? I just thought they were really close friends.” Feyre asked again, brows furrowing.
“Honestly, darling… I’m pretty positive they’re mates.” Feyre gasped.
“He told you that?!”
“No, not directly… but he didn’t have too. He was upset about the situation the other night and he said he could feel her withering away. I don’t think he even realized he said it, but he told us he could feel her.” And at that, smiles spread across each of their faces. Finally, they thought, the two people who deserved that kind of never ending, all-encompassing love, more than anyone were finally receiving it.
————
Azriel and Y/N reemerged in his bedroom. Silence surrounding them and only the sound of her short gasping breaths filling the space. He kept her tucked against him as he sat back on his bed against the headrest. She sat sideways between his legs, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other buried in her hair. He kept her head pressed close to him, his lips against her forehead.
“I’m here, love. I’m here for you.” He murmured against her skin, his eyes falling shut as salty tears ran down his cheeks and dripped off his chin into her hair. This was how they spent the remainder of their night; wrapped up in each other. They clung to each other as though the world might tear them apart at any moment.
“Thank you for being with me. I could hear you there with me, feel you with me, everyday. Not just when you were sitting with me but all the time. I can always feel you, and it helped more than I can ever truly tell you.” She whispered to him. She pulled back from where she had been tucked into the crook of his neck to look at him and felt a hard pull in her chest. And then a resounding snap.
Azriel gasped audibly as he stared down at her, wide eyed. A grin took over his face and he tucked her gently back against him. “I’m so happy I could help you in any small way like you’ve always done for me. And I will continue to be here for you, to love and cherish you always. For however long and any way you’ll have me.” She pulled back from him once more.
And then she smiled at him. Big and bright and stunningly beautiful. She was smiling at him once again.
nervous
azriel x reader
summary: inspired by Nervous (The Ooh Song) by Gavin James & Mark McCabe
word count: 2k
warnings: angst, war
a/n: Part two can be found here: All My Heart (part ii) Enjoy!
————
“Azriel!” You squealed, high-pitched and shrill. A breathy laugh escaped your throat as you hung, bent at the waist, over the Shadowsinger’s left shoulder. Your hands found purchase amongst his lower back as you pushed yourself further upright. “Where are we going?”
He did not deign to respond, breathing out a low chuckle instead. The sound ricocheted down your spine and your skin prickled with anticipation. A swift smack landed on your rear and you let out a small yelp of shock before falling back into another fit of laughter.
Azriel had made a habit of this over the last few months you’d known him. You had met him back in summer, when a few young Windhaven soldiers had come to your neighboring camp. The moment you had met his piercing hazel eyes you knew you were well and truly fucked. In that moment, you swore you would follow him anywhere. It was a thought that frightened you for a brief minute. Then, this gorgeous male opened his mouth and his voice poured out like warm honey, rich and soothing. You found that all semblance of fear had bled away into complete contentment. And he had spent every free moment with you since.
On most days now you could count on him showing up in the evening when the sun began to sink below the horizon, having slipped away after a long day of training. He’d scoop you up and haul you off to some forest picnic or mountainside view where you’d spend the night cuddled against him to escape the harsh winter chill, wings just barely touching, laughing and kissing without a care in the world.
Azriel set you down, feet touching the snow-covered ground, on a cliff side you had come to know well and his shadows dispersed through the tree line, keeping an ever-watchful eye on things. A few logs remained piled up in front of a large fallen tree, the remnants of the last small fire you had made just a few nights ago. A small smile pulled at your lips as you glanced over at him. He sat atop the log, wings held wide open behind him to block the winter wind as he cast an expectant look in your direction, preening as he watched your eyes rake over the massive sprawl of them. Rolling your eyes playfully, you made your way over the the logs, grabbing the matches from his grip as you passed by.
You crouched down before the log pile, casting your wings open as well in an attempt to stop any stray wind blowing in the opposite direction and not allowing yourself to glance up at the male before you. You could feel his lingering gaze on you and were grateful for the distraction that lighting the fire had given you, hoping it would allow for the calming of your racing heart. Despite spending months now in his close company, you never failed to feel nervous around him. Every moment you spent with him had your palms sweating, chest aching and your stomach tied in knots. Even now, you were practically shivering and shaking at the knees.
Finally, the fire began to crackle before you. You took a deep breath, a sorry attempt to slow your heartbeat to a healthy rhythm and looked back up at him. His lingering gaze was as intense as it always was and his mouth was turned upward in small, knowing smirk. That bastard, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Gliding over to him, you placed yourself between his parted knees and his hands came up to grip your hips as he looked up at you. You placed one hand on his shoulder, allowing the other hand to move slowly upward and brush back a loose lock of hair that had hung low over his forehead. His eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch, his fingers flexing at your sides and he leaned forward, placing his chin upon your navel and breathing out a small sigh of contentment. His arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer to him and he buried his face in your stomach. Suddenly you caught a small mumbling sound and you let out a short laugh, “I can’t hear you.”
Azriel pulled back, his head tilting back to look up at you again with bright eyes, “I said, I missed you.” You smiled down at him, a large grin taking over your face, and you cupped both his cheeks between your small hands. You leaned down, pressing a small kiss to his forehead and murmured against his skin, “I missed you too.”
You moved over to sit beside him as the warmth from both the fire and his touch spread through you. Your cheeks were stained a bright red. Though whether it was from the frigid nighttime air or Azriel lavishing you in attention you could not be certain. “How was training today?”
He let out a long sigh, staring into the flames as his brows pinched together. “Training was rough today, more strenuous than usual. There have been whispers of war on the horizon, human rebellions against their slavers.” You felt a shiver travel down your spine, the images of blood and death flashing behind your eyelids as you allowed your head to tilt sideways resting upon his shoulder. Reaching out you grasped his hand in yours, happy that he no longer flinched away from the contact as he once had, and set them on your thigh. He gave your hand a small squeeze.
“Do you think the rumors are true? Do you believe war is coming?” Your voice was small, barely a whisper on the wind. He heard you all the same. He turned his head to face you, and caught your lips in a light kiss.
“Yes,” he replied and gave your hand another squeeze, harder this time. You squeezed back in acknowledgment of what you both knew to be true, but would never speak aloud. Your time together was limited.
————
The alarm sounds rang out across the camp as hundreds of Illyrians emerged from their tents and cabins. Mothers, sisters and wives were frantically searching for their family members, helping to strap leathers and blades to them as quickly as they could. The time for war had come.
Dread pooled low in your stomach as you watched your brother don his fighting leathers. He sheathed a dagger to each thigh and slid his sword into place against his back. He took one last look at you and you gave him a small nod, lips pressed firmly together to keep yourself from begging him to stay. His gaze slid to your mother and he reached out to run the back of his fingers over her cheek. Then, without speaking a word, he turned his back to you and walked away.
You turned to your mother and could see the tears gathering along her lower lashes. But as any good Illyrian wife or mother or sister was meant to do in times of war, she did not allow them to fall. In the blink of an eye, she took a breath, pushed her shoulders back and steeled herself against the onslaught of sadness. A look of understanding passed between you two and she headed back for your home.
You heard a thud behind you and knew who it was before you even turned. You stood frozen, your back to him and your shoulders hunched over. You body was pulled taut. How can I possibly look him in the eye? How can I stand here before him and fight every urge I have telling me to fall to my knees and beg him to stay?
“Y/N. Please look at me.” His voice was a quiet whisper behind you and you felt his hand grip your shoulder, pulling your body around to face him. You only met his sorrowful eyes for a moment, before he was pulling you against his chest tightly. Azriel buried his face in your hair and allowed his eyes to fall shut, breathing in the scent of you.
You stood like this for a few moments, basking in the feeling of safety that being wrapped up in one another provided each of you. Slowly, gently, his hands grabbed onto your upper arms and pulled you back from him. His eyes raked over your face as yours did his. Desperately trying to memorize every detail of the look and feel of each other.
Another loud blaring horn sounded off in the distance. The final call to arms. He looked into your eyes for the last time and opened his mouth to speak. “I lo-”
You quickly brought a hand to his mouth and shook your head, blinking rapidly to hold back your tears. You felt his mouth shut behind your palm and you pulled your hand away. His own came up to tangle in your hair and he pulled you back to him, pressing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, one that he desperately hoped conveyed all the feelings he no longer had the time to say. You pulled away from him, pressing one more small, soft kiss to his lips and stepped back out of his hold. Your eyes met his again and he knew you understood. Then, without speaking a word, he too turned his back to you and walked away.
————
Years had come and gone. He couldn’t believe it had been that long, that so much time had passed him by. The war was lengthy and many did not make it home. He considered himself amongst the lucky ones to know he and his brothers still drew breath in this world.
He landed roughly in the snow and glanced around the desolate wasteland before him. It was all that remained of your camp. A few families who braved the harshness of the Steppes together but little else was left. He took tentative steps towards your home, praying that your smiling face would greet him as you always had. He wanted to throw you over his shoulder again and fly you off to Velaris, his home now, where he could keep you safe, and finally speak those words he longed to utter all those years ago.
He raised his hand and knocked on the door to the small cabin, but did not hear any noise from within. Raising his hand to the glass window, he attempted to peer inside.
“You won’t find anyone in there,” a voice rang out behind him. He whirled around and his gaze fell upon a young female who was looking at him with distrustful eyes. “You’re looking for Y/N, yes?” He nodded his head in response, shoving his hands into his pockets and tucking his wings in tight.
The female narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion but continued on, “you won’t find her here. Her brother died in the war and her mother shortly after. When things started going south around here, the camp lord made some changes. Since she had no family left here, she was sent somewhere else, married most likely. But I can’t tell you where. None of us who remain here, know.”
Azriel startled at the news, reeling back in horror. Panic began to overwhelm his senses and his shadows gathered around him in a flurry. You could be anywhere in the world, how would he possibly find you now. He felt as though the world was beginning to crash down around him at the thought of you being married off to gods knows who and sent to gods knows where. With no further thought he allowed his shadows to carry him off into the night, sadness overtaking him.
Unknowingly, his shadows had carried him to that little mountain side cliff. The large tree still sat toppled over before a small pit of charred Earth. The air was still around him, the night completely silent, like moment frozen in time.
Azriel sank down onto the log and allowed his head to fall into his hands. He had lost you. The greatest joy in his life, and he had let it slip through his fingers like sand. The winter wind whipped around him and he realized it was infinitely colder on his own.
nervous
azriel x reader
summary: inspired by Nervous (The Ooh Song) by Gavin James & Mark McCabe
word count: 2k
warnings: angst, war
a/n: Part two can be found here: All My Heart (part ii) Enjoy!
————
“Azriel!” You squealed, high-pitched and shrill. A breathy laugh escaped your throat as you hung, bent at the waist, over the Shadowsinger’s left shoulder. Your hands found purchase amongst his lower back as you pushed yourself further upright. “Where are we going?”
He did not deign to respond, breathing out a low chuckle instead. The sound ricocheted down your spine and your skin prickled with anticipation. A swift smack landed on your rear and you let out a small yelp of shock before falling back into another fit of laughter.
Azriel had made a habit of this over the last few months you’d known him. You had met him back in summer, when a few young Windhaven soldiers had come to your neighboring camp. The moment you had met his piercing hazel eyes you knew you were well and truly fucked. In that moment, you swore you would follow him anywhere. It was a thought that frightened you for a brief minute. Then, this gorgeous male opened his mouth and his voice poured out like warm honey, rich and soothing. You found that all semblance of fear had bled away into complete contentment. And he had spent every free moment with you since.
On most days now you could count on him showing up in the evening when the sun began to sink below the horizon, having slipped away after a long day of training. He’d scoop you up and haul you off to some forest picnic or mountainside view where you’d spend the night cuddled against him to escape the harsh winter chill, wings just barely touching, laughing and kissing without a care in the world.
Azriel set you down, feet touching the snow-covered ground, on a cliff side you had come to know well and his shadows dispersed through the tree line, keeping an ever-watchful eye on things. A few logs remained piled up in front of a large fallen tree, the remnants of the last small fire you had made just a few nights ago. A small smile pulled at your lips as you glanced over at him. He sat atop the log, wings held wide open behind him to block the winter wind as he cast an expectant look in your direction, preening as he watched your eyes rake over the massive sprawl of them. Rolling your eyes playfully, you made your way over the the logs, grabbing the matches from his grip as you passed by.
You crouched down before the log pile, casting your wings open as well in an attempt to stop any stray wind blowing in the opposite direction and not allowing yourself to glance up at the male before you. You could feel his lingering gaze on you and were grateful for the distraction that lighting the fire had given you, hoping it would allow for the calming of your racing heart. Despite spending months now in his close company, you never failed to feel nervous around him. Every moment you spent with him had your palms sweating, chest aching and your stomach tied in knots. Even now, you were practically shivering and shaking at the knees.
Finally, the fire began to crackle before you. You took a deep breath, a sorry attempt to slow your heartbeat to a healthy rhythm and looked back up at him. His lingering gaze was as intense as it always was and his mouth was turned upward in small, knowing smirk. That bastard, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Gliding over to him, you placed yourself between his parted knees and his hands came up to grip your hips as he looked up at you. You placed one hand on his shoulder, allowing the other hand to move slowly upward and brush back a loose lock of hair that had hung low over his forehead. His eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch, his fingers flexing at your sides and he leaned forward, placing his chin upon your navel and breathing out a small sigh of contentment. His arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer to him and he buried his face in your stomach. Suddenly you caught a small mumbling sound and you let out a short laugh, “I can’t hear you.”
Azriel pulled back, his head tilting back to look up at you again with bright eyes, “I said, I missed you.” You smiled down at him, a large grin taking over your face, and you cupped both his cheeks between your small hands. You leaned down, pressing a small kiss to his forehead and murmured against his skin, “I missed you too.”
You moved over to sit beside him as the warmth from both the fire and his touch spread through you. Your cheeks were stained a bright red. Though whether it was from the frigid nighttime air or Azriel lavishing you in attention you could not be certain. “How was training today?”
He let out a long sigh, staring into the flames as his brows pinched together. “Training was rough today, more strenuous than usual. There have been whispers of war on the horizon, human rebellions against their slavers.” You felt a shiver travel down your spine, the images of blood and death flashing behind your eyelids as you allowed your head to tilt sideways resting upon his shoulder. Reaching out you grasped his hand in yours, happy that he no longer flinched away from the contact as he once had, and set them on your thigh. He gave your hand a small squeeze.
“Do you think the rumors are true? Do you believe war is coming?” Your voice was small, barely a whisper on the wind. He heard you all the same. He turned his head to face you, and caught your lips in a light kiss.
“Yes,” he replied and gave your hand another squeeze, harder this time. You squeezed back in acknowledgment of what you both knew to be true, but would never speak aloud. Your time together was limited.
————
The alarm sounds rang out across the camp as hundreds of Illyrians emerged from their tents and cabins. Mothers, sisters and wives were frantically searching for their family members, helping to strap leathers and blades to them as quickly as they could. The time for war had come.
Dread pooled low in your stomach as you watched your brother don his fighting leathers. He sheathed a dagger to each thigh and slid his sword into place against his back. He took one last look at you and you gave him a small nod, lips pressed firmly together to keep yourself from begging him to stay. His gaze slid to your mother and he reached out to run the back of his fingers over her cheek. Then, without speaking a word, he turned his back to you and walked away.
You turned to your mother and could see the tears gathering along her lower lashes. But as any good Illyrian wife or mother or sister was meant to do in times of war, she did not allow them to fall. In the blink of an eye, she took a breath, pushed her shoulders back and steeled herself against the onslaught of sadness. A look of understanding passed between you two and she headed back for your home.
You heard a thud behind you and knew who it was before you even turned. You stood frozen, your back to him and your shoulders hunched over. You body was pulled taut. How can I possibly look him in the eye? How can I stand here before him and fight every urge I have telling me to fall to my knees and beg him to stay?
“Y/N. Please look at me.” His voice was a quiet whisper behind you and you felt his hand grip your shoulder, pulling your body around to face him. You only met his sorrowful eyes for a moment, before he was pulling you against his chest tightly. Azriel buried his face in your hair and allowed his eyes to fall shut, breathing in the scent of you.
You stood like this for a few moments, basking in the feeling of safety that being wrapped up in one another provided each of you. Slowly, gently, his hands grabbed onto your upper arms and pulled you back from him. His eyes raked over your face as yours did his. Desperately trying to memorize every detail of the look and feel of each other.
Another loud blaring horn sounded off in the distance. The final call to arms. He looked into your eyes for the last time and opened his mouth to speak. “I lo-”
You quickly brought a hand to his mouth and shook your head, blinking rapidly to hold back your tears. You felt his mouth shut behind your palm and you pulled your hand away. His own came up to tangle in your hair and he pulled you back to him, pressing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, one that he desperately hoped conveyed all the feelings he no longer had the time to say. You pulled away from him, pressing one more small, soft kiss to his lips and stepped back out of his hold. Your eyes met his again and he knew you understood. Then, without speaking a word, he too turned his back to you and walked away.
————
Years had come and gone. He couldn’t believe it had been that long, that so much time had passed him by. The war was lengthy and many did not make it home. He considered himself amongst the lucky ones to know he and his brothers still drew breath in this world.
He landed roughly in the snow and glanced around the desolate wasteland before him. It was all that remained of your camp. A few families who braved the harshness of the Steppes together but little else was left. He took tentative steps towards your home, praying that your smiling face would greet him as you always had. He wanted to throw you over his shoulder again and fly you off to Velaris, his home now, where he could keep you safe, and finally speak those words he longed to utter all those years ago.
He raised his hand and knocked on the door to the small cabin, but did not hear any noise from within. Raising his hand to the glass window, he attempted to peer inside.
“You won’t find anyone in there,” a voice rang out behind him. He whirled around and his gaze fell upon a young female who was looking at him with distrustful eyes. “You’re looking for Y/N, yes?” He nodded his head in response, shoving his hands into his pockets and tucking his wings in tight.
The female narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion but continued on, “you won’t find her here. Her brother died in the war and her mother shortly after. When things started going south around here, the camp lord made some changes. Since she had no family left here, she was sent somewhere else, married most likely. But I can’t tell you where. None of us who remain here, know.”
Azriel startled at the news, reeling back in horror. Panic began to overwhelm his senses and his shadows gathered around him in a flurry. You could be anywhere in the world, how would he possibly find you now. He felt as though the world was beginning to crash down around him at the thought of you being married off to gods knows who and sent to gods knows where. With no further thought he allowed his shadows to carry him off into the night, sadness overtaking him.
Unknowingly, his shadows had carried him to that little mountain side cliff. The large tree still sat toppled over before a small pit of charred Earth. The air was still around him, the night completely silent, like moment frozen in time.
Azriel sank down onto the log and allowed his head to fall into his hands. He had lost you. The greatest joy in his life, and he had let it slip through his fingers like sand. The winter wind whipped around him and he realized it was infinitely colder on his own.
all my heart
azriel x reader
summary: inspired by All My Heart by Sleeping With Sirens
word count: 2.2k
warnings: none?
a/n: Here’s part two! Part one can be found here: Nervous (part i) Enjoy!
————
Flipping through the delicate pages, you allowed an annoyed sigh to escape you. You reached up, placing the book back on the self and slowly began moving down the aisle again. Fingers ran lightly over the spines as your eyes searched each title, deep in concentration. You snatched another book and flipped it over, eyes skimming the back cover. This one seemed promising.
Opening the front cover you allowed your eyes to swipe over the text, immediately becoming absorbed in the tale unfolding before you. Placing one foot in front of the other, you moved slowly through the shelves. You hoped the cashier was located in this direction, though you were paying zero attention to your surroundings. Suddenly, you felt as though you had crashed directly into a brick wall and heat flooded your cheeks. How embarrassing?
With the book still open in your palm, you drew your eyes from the page scanning upward. Black leather, more leather… not actually a wall then… your eyes continued upwards… that’s a lovely shade of blue…oh. Before you stood a male with rich, tanned skin and piercing hazel eyes. Shock painted his pristine features and the hands grasping your biceps to hold you steady went slack. Suddenly, you were 28 years old again.
A light breeze rustled through your hair and the late afternoon sun fell upon your face. You were sat on a large, red blanket amidst the trees taking in the last few beautiful days of Autumn in the Steppes. Leaning back on your elbows, legs stretched out before you and wings tucked in tight beneath you, you tilted your face to the sky and smiled. “Hey Az?” You cracked one eye open and looked to the male seated next to you. He gave you a responding hum.
“We should run away together.” A loud laugh burst from him as he moved to face you. He was propped up on one arm, one long leg stretched out, the other bent upright. His other arm was slung loosely across his raised knee. “I’m serious Az! It’s going to be Winter soon and the weather here is awful in the Winter.”
He grinned widely at you. “The weather? You’re telling me it’s the cold air that has you wanting to run screaming from these mountains?” His eyes sparked with mirth.
“I mean yeah, of course. The cold sucks.” Your smile widened and he let out another chuckle.
“You’re looking for any kind of reason to escape all this mess.” You caught his eye again and knew he understood.
“Az, these camps are terrible. I hate it here and I know you do too. We should just leave.” His soft smile remained, but you could see there was pain in his eyes. You let out a long, sad sigh, “but alas, I know you. You’d never leave if it meant forsaking your duty to this court or your brothers. I understand.” You peeled your eyes away from him, shutting them again and tilting your head back to catch the sun’s warmth again. “But one day, eventually, we’re both leaving this place.”
Coming back into yourself, you jolted.
“I’m so sor-”
“Y/N?” Your eyes fluttered shut, the sound of your name on his lips was like a prayer being answered. More than that, it felt like coming home. You opened your eyes again to look at him and smiled softly.
“Hi Az.” Before your brain had a chance to catch up he was grabbing your wrist and yanking you forward. The book in your hands clattered to the floor. He pulled you into a tight embrace and your arms came to rest around his waist. He buried his face in your hair, tightening his hold on you. You inhaled his scent, and your heart ached with longing. Finally, you pulled yourself back enough to peer up at him. His hand came to rest on your cheek and you leaned into it.
“I can’t believe it’s really you. Here, in Velaris. What are you doing here?” He rambled on.
“Ummm it’s kind of a long story,” you trailed off, eyes lowering. As if his brain was just now catching up with him his eyes glanced over your shoulder and his brows furrowed in confusion. You knew immediately what his was looking for and ultimately what he would fail to find. His eyes met yours again and you could see the silent question in them. A long, weary sign escaped you as you took a step back out of his hold, folding your arms over yourself and pointedly looking anywhere but at him. “My husband wanted me clipped. Unfortunately, the person performing it was inexperienced and didn’t get it quite right, what with all my trashing about. They were so badly damaged that in the end they had to be removed entirely.” You couldn’t meet his eyes.
White hot, burning rage filtered through him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he spoke softly. And then, in a harsher tone, “can you tell me his name?” A small smile tugged at your lips. Same old Azriel, ready to kill for those he cares about.
“No need. I killed him and fled. That’s why I’m here.” Finally you met his eyes again and saw his here wet, tears gathering at the corners. “Don’t cry for me. I’m okay, truly.”
“I’m sorry-”
“Please stop apologizing.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you. I wish I could’ve been stronger or better back then, that I’d had the courage to take you from that place like you deserved.” You stepped forward, grabbing both his hands in yours.
“It’s not your fault. These things, sad as they are, happen. I’m alive, I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me.” You raised his left hand to your mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, then the right. His eyes softened at the gesture, pulling you into him again. He buried one hand in your hair and allowed the other to wrap around your waist. In turn, you buried your face back into his chest.
You felt him huff out a laugh, “I’ve always worried about you.” And then more quietly he asked, “can I take you to dinner sometime?”
“Yes, I’d really like that.” You wrote your address on a slip of paper that you borrowed from the cashier and handed it to him. You gave him a beaming smile, “see you soon Shadowsinger.” As you opened the door and headed out onto the busy streets of Velaris, you glanced back over your shoulder and winked at him. Your chest pulled tight again, just beneath your ribs. You still have all of my heart.
————
The sun was setting and a warm golden haze filtered through your windows. You were sat on your couch with your legs tucked up under you, a blanket over your lap and a warm cup of tea sat on small table in front of you. Your book sat beside you, held open upside down by its own weight, long forgotten as you stared into the empty space before you.
The winter air was frigid. The night’s chill sank deep into your bones and you huddled yourself closer to him, seeking his warmth. Azriel brought an arm over your shoulder and tucked you in closer to him. His wings wrapped around you, just barely brushing against yours as they encircled you. A shiver traveled down your spine, though this was decidedly not due to the cold air. You tilted your head back and pressed up into your toes, lips lightly grazing his neck as you pressed a gentle kiss there. His gaze moved down to meet yours.
“You okay, sweetheart?” He whispered, his lips falling upon the crown of your head.
“Do you think we’d ever make it?” You asked him in response. Azriel was used to this by now, your strange sudden questioning. He knew where your mind was wandering. With war looming on the horizon and the time you were able to spend together growing shorter and shorter, he understood your fears.
“I’m sure, if it’s right.” It was the best he could give because in truth, he did not know. And it was that uncertainty that scared him the most. There were so many things that could go wrong. So many things that could take you from him. His heart thumped wildly in his chest. He knew should tell you how he felt, that he may never get another chance because tomorrow wasn’t promised. He wanted to let go of that lid he’d kept so tightly shut on his emotions, spill his whole heart to you. He’d tried several times now, but the words wouldn’t come out. Always getting stuck in this throat. The sharp pull against his ribs was aching again but still, he couldn’t utter those words into existence.
You looked up at him again, saying nothing in response. You didn’t need to, for you knew the truth. Your days together were numbered. Maybe, you’d meet again one day. When the world was calm. You tucked that hope away in your heart even though you knew hope was a dangerous thing.
A loud knock sounded against your front door and your brows pulled together in confusion. Your heart began to beat wildly in your chest. Oh Gods, what if they found where I’ve been hiding. Sweat gathered on your palms as you slowly placed down your mug and rose from the couch. Another loud knock sounded against the door. You took in a deep breath and steeled yourself. Wrenching it open, you let out a breath.
There was Azriel, on your door step with his hands tucked into his pockets and his wings pulled in tight to his back. His cheeks were stained red and a sheepish look adorned his face. One of your brows rose as a small smile pulled at the corners of your lips. Despite five centuries having passed since the last time he showed up at your door, this felt familiar. You half expected him to throw you over his shoulder and stalk off somewhere with you for a picnic. Based on the large grin that was spreading across his face at the sight of you, you had a feeling he was thinking the same.
“Azriel. What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you to stop by quite so soon.”
“I’m sorry for dropping in unannounced like this but I just-” he trailed off, looking around at your front yard. You knew he’d finish when he was ready, that words did not come so easily to him and he needed time to formulate his thoughts. So you waited, patiently, leaning against your door frame until he started again. “I just wanted more time with you.” Your heart leapt in your chest.
Pushing off from the frame, you swung the door farther open and stepped back into the house with one hand remaining on the handle. “Would you like to come in?” His eyes met yours and you could see the relief flood through them.
“I’d like that very much,” he stated as his crossed the threshold.
————
Blinking your eyes open, you squinted against the bright morning sun. Warmth radiated from behind you and a smile crept its way across your mouth. You were laying on your side, two strong arms corded around your stomach as your fingers intertwined with his. Your back was pressed tightly against his chest and you could feel his light exhale of breath against your neck. Shadows pooled around you like water, some of them cascading off the edge of the bed and draping down to the floor.
Slowly, you returned to the land of the living, detaching one hand from his and rubbing the sleep from your eyes. A soft whine sounded next to your ear and you let out a breathy giggle.
“Why’re you moving? We’re not getting up yet,” he complained. You rolled over softly in his arms and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. Then to his nose, then another just beside his mouth. His lips turned downward in a pout, “you missed.” Laughing again, you finally pressed a small kiss to his lips and you felt him sigh against your skin. You tucked your head under his chin, burying yourself in his chest as his arms pulled you in somehow even tighter than before. How crazy is it? Someone could waste their whole life helplessly. Just patiently waiting for a love like you and me.
And as if sensing your thoughts, Azriel slowly opened his eyes and glance down to meet yours. The sun shone through the window behind him casting a radiant glow around him and your heart began to race just as it had all those years ago. There was a buzzing in your ears as all the hardships and heartache you had faced in your life flashed behind your eyelids. You couldn’t believe you were here, in his arms. It felt like a dream. I couldn’t possibly be this lucky. He gave you a knowing smile and then he pressed his lips to yours again.
“I love you,” he whispered and the world fell silent. You still have all of my heart.
all my heart
azriel x reader
summary: inspired by All My Heart by Sleeping With Sirens
word count: 2.2k
warnings: none?
a/n: Here’s part two! Part one can be found here: Nervous (part i) Enjoy!
————
Flipping through the delicate pages, you allowed an annoyed sigh to escape you. You reached up, placing the book back on the self and slowly began moving down the aisle again. Fingers ran lightly over the spines as your eyes searched each title, deep in concentration. You snatched another book and flipped it over, eyes skimming the back cover. This one seemed promising.
Opening the front cover you allowed your eyes to swipe over the text, immediately becoming absorbed in the tale unfolding before you. Placing one foot in front of the other, you moved slowly through the shelves. You hoped the cashier was located in this direction, though you were paying zero attention to your surroundings. Suddenly, you felt as though you had crashed directly into a brick wall and heat flooded your cheeks. How embarrassing?
With the book still open in your palm, you drew your eyes from the page scanning upward. Black leather, more leather… not actually a wall then… your eyes continued upwards… that’s a lovely shade of blue…oh. Before you stood a male with rich, tanned skin and piercing hazel eyes. Shock painted his pristine features and the hands grasping your biceps to hold you steady went slack. Suddenly, you were 28 years old again.
A light breeze rustled through your hair and the late afternoon sun fell upon your face. You were sat on a large, red blanket amidst the trees taking in the last few beautiful days of Autumn in the Steppes. Leaning back on your elbows, legs stretched out before you and wings tucked in tight beneath you, you tilted your face to the sky and smiled. “Hey Az?” You cracked one eye open and looked to the male seated next to you. He gave you a responding hum.
“We should run away together.” A loud laugh burst from him as he moved to face you. He was propped up on one arm, one long leg stretched out, the other bent upright. His other arm was slung loosely across his raised knee. “I’m serious Az! It’s going to be Winter soon and the weather here is awful in the Winter.”
He grinned widely at you. “The weather? You’re telling me it’s the cold air that has you wanting to run screaming from these mountains?” His eyes sparked with mirth.
“I mean yeah, of course. The cold sucks.” Your smile widened and he let out another chuckle.
“You’re looking for any kind of reason to escape all this mess.” You caught his eye again and knew he understood.
“Az, these camps are terrible. I hate it here and I know you do too. We should just leave.” His soft smile remained, but you could see there was pain in his eyes. You let out a long, sad sigh, “but alas, I know you. You’d never leave if it meant forsaking your duty to this court or your brothers. I understand.” You peeled your eyes away from him, shutting them again and tilting your head back to catch the sun’s warmth again. “But one day, eventually, we’re both leaving this place.”
Coming back into yourself, you jolted.
“I’m so sor-”
“Y/N?” Your eyes fluttered shut, the sound of your name on his lips was like a prayer being answered. More than that, it felt like coming home. You opened your eyes again to look at him and smiled softly.
“Hi Az.” Before your brain had a chance to catch up he was grabbing your wrist and yanking you forward. The book in your hands clattered to the floor. He pulled you into a tight embrace and your arms came to rest around his waist. He buried his face in your hair, tightening his hold on you. You inhaled his scent, and your heart ached with longing. Finally, you pulled yourself back enough to peer up at him. His hand came to rest on your cheek and you leaned into it.
“I can’t believe it’s really you. Here, in Velaris. What are you doing here?” He rambled on.
“Ummm it’s kind of a long story,” you trailed off, eyes lowering. As if his brain was just now catching up with him his eyes glanced over your shoulder and his brows furrowed in confusion. You knew immediately what his was looking for and ultimately what he would fail to find. His eyes met yours again and you could see the silent question in them. A long, weary sign escaped you as you took a step back out of his hold, folding your arms over yourself and pointedly looking anywhere but at him. “My husband wanted me clipped. Unfortunately, the person performing it was inexperienced and didn’t get it quite right, what with all my trashing about. They were so badly damaged that in the end they had to be removed entirely.” You couldn’t meet his eyes.
White hot, burning rage filtered through him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he spoke softly. And then, in a harsher tone, “can you tell me his name?” A small smile tugged at your lips. Same old Azriel, ready to kill for those he cares about.
“No need. I killed him and fled. That’s why I’m here.” Finally you met his eyes again and saw his here wet, tears gathering at the corners. “Don’t cry for me. I’m okay, truly.”
“I’m sorry-”
“Please stop apologizing.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you. I wish I could’ve been stronger or better back then, that I’d had the courage to take you from that place like you deserved.” You stepped forward, grabbing both his hands in yours.
“It’s not your fault. These things, sad as they are, happen. I’m alive, I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me.” You raised his left hand to your mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, then the right. His eyes softened at the gesture, pulling you into him again. He buried one hand in your hair and allowed the other to wrap around your waist. In turn, you buried your face back into his chest.
You felt him huff out a laugh, “I’ve always worried about you.” And then more quietly he asked, “can I take you to dinner sometime?”
“Yes, I’d really like that.” You wrote your address on a slip of paper that you borrowed from the cashier and handed it to him. You gave him a beaming smile, “see you soon Shadowsinger.” As you opened the door and headed out onto the busy streets of Velaris, you glanced back over your shoulder and winked at him. Your chest pulled tight again, just beneath your ribs. You still have all of my heart.
————
The sun was setting and a warm golden haze filtered through your windows. You were sat on your couch with your legs tucked up under you, a blanket over your lap and a warm cup of tea sat on small table in front of you. Your book sat beside you, held open upside down by its own weight, long forgotten as you stared into the empty space before you.
The winter air was frigid. The night’s chill sank deep into your bones and you huddled yourself closer to him, seeking his warmth. Azriel brought an arm over your shoulder and tucked you in closer to him. His wings wrapped around you, just barely brushing against yours as they encircled you. A shiver traveled down your spine, though this was decidedly not due to the cold air. You tilted your head back and pressed up into your toes, lips lightly grazing his neck as you pressed a gentle kiss there. His gaze moved down to meet yours.
“You okay, sweetheart?” He whispered, his lips falling upon the crown of your head.
“Do you think we’d ever make it?” You asked him in response. Azriel was used to this by now, your strange sudden questioning. He knew where your mind was wandering. With war looming on the horizon and the time you were able to spend together growing shorter and shorter, he understood your fears.
“I’m sure, if it’s right.” It was the best he could give because in truth, he did not know. And it was that uncertainty that scared him the most. There were so many things that could go wrong. So many things that could take you from him. His heart thumped wildly in his chest. He knew should tell you how he felt, that he may never get another chance because tomorrow wasn’t promised. He wanted to let go of that lid he’d kept so tightly shut on his emotions, spill his whole heart to you. He’d tried several times now, but the words wouldn’t come out. Always getting stuck in this throat. The sharp pull against his ribs was aching again but still, he couldn’t utter those words into existence.
You looked up at him again, saying nothing in response. You didn’t need to, for you knew the truth. Your days together were numbered. Maybe, you’d meet again one day. When the world was calm. You tucked that hope away in your heart even though you knew hope was a dangerous thing.
A loud knock sounded against your front door and your brows pulled together in confusion. Your heart began to beat wildly in your chest. Oh Gods, what if they found where I’ve been hiding. Sweat gathered on your palms as you slowly placed down your mug and rose from the couch. Another loud knock sounded against the door. You took in a deep breath and steeled yourself. Wrenching it open, you let out a breath.
There was Azriel, on your door step with his hands tucked into his pockets and his wings pulled in tight to his back. His cheeks were stained red and a sheepish look adorned his face. One of your brows rose as a small smile pulled at the corners of your lips. Despite five centuries having passed since the last time he showed up at your door, this felt familiar. You half expected him to throw you over his shoulder and stalk off somewhere with you for a picnic. Based on the large grin that was spreading across his face at the sight of you, you had a feeling he was thinking the same.
“Azriel. What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you to stop by quite so soon.”
“I’m sorry for dropping in unannounced like this but I just-” he trailed off, looking around at your front yard. You knew he’d finish when he was ready, that words did not come so easily to him and he needed time to formulate his thoughts. So you waited, patiently, leaning against your door frame until he started again. “I just wanted more time with you.” Your heart leapt in your chest.
Pushing off from the frame, you swung the door farther open and stepped back into the house with one hand remaining on the handle. “Would you like to come in?” His eyes met yours and you could see the relief flood through them.
“I’d like that very much,” he stated as his crossed the threshold.
————
Blinking your eyes open, you squinted against the bright morning sun. Warmth radiated from behind you and a smile crept its way across your mouth. You were laying on your side, two strong arms corded around your stomach as your fingers intertwined with his. Your back was pressed tightly against his chest and you could feel his light exhale of breath against your neck. Shadows pooled around you like water, some of them cascading off the edge of the bed and draping down to the floor.
Slowly, you returned to the land of the living, detaching one hand from his and rubbing the sleep from your eyes. A soft whine sounded next to your ear and you let out a breathy giggle.
“Why’re you moving? We’re not getting up yet,” he complained. You rolled over softly in his arms and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. Then to his nose, then another just beside his mouth. His lips turned downward in a pout, “you missed.” Laughing again, you finally pressed a small kiss to his lips and you felt him sigh against your skin. You tucked your head under his chin, burying yourself in his chest as his arms pulled you in somehow even tighter than before. How crazy is it? Someone could waste their whole life helplessly. Just patiently waiting for a love like you and me.
And as if sensing your thoughts, Azriel slowly opened his eyes and glance down to meet yours. The sun shone through the window behind him casting a radiant glow around him and your heart began to race just as it had all those years ago. There was a buzzing in your ears as all the hardships and heartache you had faced in your life flashed behind your eyelids. You couldn’t believe you were here, in his arms. It felt like a dream. I couldn’t possibly be this lucky. He gave you a knowing smile and then he pressed his lips to yours again.
“I love you,” he whispered and the world fell silent. You still have all of my heart.
This is so cute 🥺
First Kisses [ Elucien ]
Author’s Note: I took the liberty of reworking a previous snippet of mine of their first kiss to work in the idea @helion-ism had from this post. Like I need an excuse to write my babies pfffttttt.
![First Kisses [ Elucien ]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/777547ed0abba40a9f755acda055f272/fae787c08d4fb7f5-58/s500x750/63ab672635be4e3781a11a8b4bce65b55435d006.gif)
He wanted to kiss her so badly.
It was a constant ache in his chest, to watch her and not claim her lips at every moment, every day.
Lucien watched her quietly working on a flower crown as they sat in her garden and when she pursed her lips in concentration, he clenched his fist.
His mate.
The need to claim was so overwhelming at times, it almost drove him mad but Lucien would never, ever push her out of her comfort zone until she was ready.
At times, he scoffed at himself for the gentleman act. With all the filthy thoughts that crossed his mind when he thought of her, Lucien was anything but a gentleman. But damn, did he try. He tried his hardest to woo her with the best gentleman behavior he could.
His eyes flickered to her lips again then to her hands working nimbly to tie the flowers in the way she wanted and he couldn’t stop himself. He leaned forward, gently turning her towards him, his hands resting on the bench next to her hips.
Elain paused and blinked, looking at him curiously but Lucien could only stare. She was sitting between his arms but still felt so far away.
“Are you finally going to kiss me?” she asked quietly, jolting Lucien out of his thoughts and it was his turn to blink.
“Do you want me to kiss you?”
“Well. I’ve been waiting for quite some time now but you seem to hesitate often.” she answered softly, a blush creeping on her cheeks and Lucien froze.
“You’ve – you’ve been waiting?”
“Well, yes. Don’t – don’t you want to kiss me?” she blurted and her blush deepened. Lucien looked at her silently for a moment then laughed softly, his head dipping, causing Elain to scowl.
“You don’t have to laugh! Don’t kiss me for all I care!”
“Cauldron, Elain.” he muttered and looked up to meet her scowling face with a grin. “I have wanted to kiss you so badly. You don’t even know the half of it.”
She bit her lip at that, her eyes flickering to his lips and back up to his eyes. Lucien paused again and he watched her, holding his breath as she settled the flower crown to the side and leaned closer to him.
“Can I kiss you?” she asked, bringing a hand to gently rest on his chest and Lucien wasn’t embarrassed at all, knowing she could feel and hear how quickly his heart was beating.
“I’m all yours.” he whispered.
Elain gave him a small smile that had his own lips turning up. Her other hand slid to rest on his chest and she watched her fingers settle there before leaning in closer and meeting his gaze. It was a moment the two had certainly waited for, with the rocky start in their relationship. They took every moment slowly, delicately, taking the time to befriend and to flirt before going any further. But now…this moment was a moment that would be seared into their hearts.
So Lucien watched her as she watched him.
Then Elain closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his.
Lucien’s eyes fluttered shut as she slowly, hesitantly teased her lips against his, barely a caress, before pulling away. Lucien’s eyes flew open to find her flushed face watching him.
“Was that okay?” she asked and Lucien chuckled, his heart racing.
“You are an awful tease, Elain.” he replied and her mouth turned into a thin line.
“It’s too much.” she mumbled, her eyes on her hands still settled on his chest. “When I’m near you – your scent. It’s too much sometimes. Is it like that for you too?”
“Yes.” he answered breathlessly. “It’s intoxicating. Overwhelming at times.”
Elain’s eyes flickered back to his as he watched her intensely. She tugged him closer and licked her lips.
“Kiss me. I want to feel how intoxicating it can be.”
This time when their lips touched, it wasn’t a caress, it was a claiming. The world seemed to fall away around both of them. It started slow and soft and careful and all the words that usually hung between them finally seemed to be said as Lucien cupped her face gently. He deepened the kiss and like everything else between them, their lips glided and danced with each other. Lucien gave everything he had in that kiss – and it was devasting to kiss her in such a way, with no hesitation, to give her all of him. If Elain hadn’t been seated, she was sure her legs would’ve buckled under her from the fiery of being kissed this way, kissed like her lips were his salvation, as though her lips were made for his.
Both of their bodies were ablaze, their heartbeats racing and finally, when Elain began feeling lightheaded in awe of the kiss, Lucien slowly, very reluctantly pulled back a few inches.
“Intoxicating enough for you?” he mumbled, his forehead leaning against hers and felt her huff a breath of laughter.
“I think we can —” she began to reply, then pulled back with a gasp.
Lucien’s froze. “What?”
“You’re glowing.” she whispered.
Lucien glanced down at his hands and realized with a start, he was glowing all over. Something he couldn’t remember happening since — and his heart jolted, looking back at Elain.
Elain turned his hands over in hers, tracing his fingers with hers. “What’s causing this?” she asked in awe. “Are you alright?”
Smiling softly, Lucien took her hand in his and kissed it. “I’m — I’m perfect.” he said quietly and met her gaze. “This hasn’t happened in so long — I’m —I’m just so…incredibly happy.”
Elain beamed at him and if Lucien didn’t know any better, she was almost glowing herself. “This is you…happy?”
“This is me ecstatic.”
And Elain let her head fall back with a laugh, a laugh that if possible, made Lucien light up even brighter.
“You’re this happy to kiss little ‘ole me?” she teased, her cheeks flushed.
“I’m clearly ecstatic to kiss little ‘ole you.”
Elain laced her fingers with his then smiled up at him again. “People say when a person is happy they’re glowing…you’ve certainly taken that to the next level.” she said with a chuckle and Lucien laughed.
“Because of you, mate.” he said softly and leaned in again to place a tender kiss on her lips, making her hum in delight. “You bring me joy and make me glow.”
Elain giggled and leaned in to give him a much more firm kiss that she quickly pulled back from to say, “So, I’m powerful enough to make you light up, huh?”
“Oh, yes. You’re powerful enough to bring a whole kingdom to its knees with that smile alone.”
Elain laughed and Lucien’s whole body lit up in giddiness as she said again with a coy smile, “Little ‘ole me?”
“Little ‘ole you.” he confirmed and his smiled widened at her flushed cheek and grin.
“Well,” she began and pulled herself into his lap. “I must say, I’m going to be very excited to show you off even more now.”
“You mean to show off the kind of spell you have on me?”
She gave a shrug with a playful smirk. “Not everyone can say they can make their partner light up a whole room with a kiss.”
“It was one kiss and you’re already so full of yourself.” he said with a snort but his glow hadn’t dimmed an inch, especially so when she laughed again.
“Well, I make you glow and you…you make me bloom.” Elain said softly. “I think that makes us even.”
Lucien’s eyes softened, his heart threatening to burst. “Thank you for being my joy.”
“And thank you for being mine.” she replied and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. “Now kiss me again. I want to light up this whole damn city.”
Keep reading
He Feels Safe With You — Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel's sleeping habits begin to worry you, but after a conversation with Cassian, you realize you've misinterpreted the entire situation.
Warnings: Major fluff. Like tooth-rotting sweetness. Sleepy Az.
Author's note: I should be sleeping because I have work tomorrow but instead I've chosen to write this oneshot and I have no regrets.
It was starting to become a problem now.
You cocked your head to the side, cradling a cup of tea in your hands and watching Azriel as he continued to sleep soundly in your bed. You had the windows cracked open and the early Autumn breeze swirled indoors with the scent of lavender, bergamot, and the strawberry jam you’d slathered over your toast. You checked the time once again on the glossy marble clock face. The arrow-shaped hour hand clicked ever closer to 11am, the minute hand close to overtaking its competitor.
10:55am and Azriel was still asleep.
The sheets clustered loose and low around his waist, mimicking the curling of his shadows up and down the ridges of his spine and across the delicate membrane of his wings. His wings hung loose and relaxed, stretching off the edges of your bed and caressing the floor with a lover’s touch. You blushed at the sight. When you and Azriel had first started courting each other three years ago, you’d thought through the mechanics of housing an Illyrian warrior in your bed — should you buy a new bed frame and mattress? Did you even have space for it in your apartment? The answer had been no to both, and yet Azriel loved when your daytime activities ended here instead of at the townhouse. If he cared about having to walk sideways to avoid the bookshelves in the halls or having to crouch to avoid the overhang above the staircase, he didn’t mention it.
Three hours ago you’d woken up beneath the gentle weight of his wings, untangled yourself from Azriel’s greedy limbs, and crept down the stairs to your kitchen, bleary eyed but well rested. But that was three hours ago! Since then you’d brushed your teeth, washed your face, and eaten breakfast, and still the Shadowsinger hadn’t stirred. You were beginning to question whether he truly was the Spymaster of the Night Court as you sat in your velvet chair and admired your lover. You traced all the subtle movements of his body as he muddled through dreams you could only wonder at — the creasing of his brow, the slack line of his lips as he breathed, the twitching of his fingertips as he reached for some phantom object.
The clock struck eleven and you sighed, gathering your plates but leaving Azriel’s pile of toast, butter, and honey alone. You also left the teapot and its mismatched cup, blowing magic over its lid in a silent command to keep its contents hot until Azriel awoke.
“I’ll be down in the shop,” you whispered to his shadows, trusting that they would relay the message when their master finally decided to grace the daytime with his presence.
One by one, shadows slipped off Azriel’s skin, curling around your ankles and wrists in a silent plea to stay. You shook them off like one might a needy child, promising you’d only be two floors down.
The artists’ corner in Velaris was an eclectic array of compact townhouses, each outwardly dressed in their unique, dazzling finery. Your townhouse was squished between a painting studio and a luthier’s. The painting studio’s owner seemed intent on changing the color of the wooden sidings every other day and the drawings scribbled over the windows every other week. Today it was periwinkle blue to match the hydrangeas overflowing from the window boxes.
You nodded in approval as you flipped the apothecary sign over from “Much apologies, please try another time” to “You’ve caught us! We’re open!” The blue would match your tulip yellow sidings and the clean white accents of the luthier’s. Last week it had been red and that had looked gods-awful.
You busied yourself in the shop, crushing up lavender and herbs and boiling mugwort in fire-stained glassware in between flurries of customers until the medicinal stench in the air grew thick and strong. You were used to it by now. It smelled clean. Like home.
You were finishing tying up a bundle of teabags when Cassian came in carrying a sturdy wooden box under one arm like it weighed five pounds instead of fifty. You snapped out the wrinkles of a cloth bag, dropping the teabags and five vials of sleep serum for the nightingale-winged nymph in front of you.
“Four feathers and three strands of hair, as we bargained for,” you said, sliding the bag across the counter.
The nymph nodded in approval, extending out a wing and shoving her fingers into the pillowy softness. She tested for loose feathers ready to pull.
“You’re a godsend, Y/n, has anyone ever told you that?” She pulled out three feathers, closed her wing, and started testing the feathers on the other side. “Finnigan’s was asking me for ten. Ten! Can you believe that? If I hadn’t found you in time I’d have been reduced to a plucked chicken.” She was much less precious about her mousey brown hair and yanked out three strands at random. “Oops, you get an extra strand today,” she sang, dropping the feathers and hair into the jars you held out.
“Well it’s a good thing you found me then, Moricka.”
“Honestly! I understand he’s got a large studio space he’s renting in the thick of the Palace, and even I will admit the ambiance is rather professional—”
Cassian raised his brow, a smirk tugging at the corners of his scarred lips as he continued to stand motionless in the doorway. It was true your space was more… homey than Finnigan’s, but your expertise shined in intimate spaces. You liked the control and the familiarity that came from running a smaller business and you wouldn’t give it up for the world.
“But I do think the success is getting to his head. You both studied under Lady Madja so I don’t see why—”
You nodded absentmindedly. It was always like this with Moricka. The songbird in her made it difficult for her to stop talking, but at least her voice was pleasant.
She threw her hands up in the air before finally catching wind of another presence in the room. Cassian waved at her with a wink and an orange blush creeped onto her full cheeks. He tended to have that effect on fae with his towering size and the wild beauty of his chiseled jaw and smattering of scars over his cheeks and brow.
“Oh… oh dear, I didn’t realize you had another customer. Oh my goodness I’ve been talking your ear off all this time and you’ve been too kind to say anything. You’re a godsend, Y/n. A godsend! I don’t know what I would do without you, although I should really be letting you go now.” She grabbed her things and sidestepped the range of Cassian’s wings, trying and failing now to gawk. “I’ll see you soon enough again I’m sure.”
“I’ll be here.” You sighed in relief when the doorbell rang behind her petite frame, the inoffensive smile you offered all your customers sliding off your face like oil on water. Cassian chuckled, dropping the box onto the countertop with a dull thud.
“Long day?”
You pulled out a stepstool and began rummaging around through the box, pulling out jars of squid ink, bark trimmings, buttons, and one particularly nasty jar containing a large eye suspended in yellow goo. “It’s not even three.”
“Did I stutter?”
You tapped the glass and the eye swiveled around to look at you, pupil enlarging and constricting with a stutter. “Yes, yes very good,” you muttered your praise and Cassian fought hard not to shiver. He had a stomach for a great many things, but some of the specimens you handled tested his resilience.
“Thank you for bringing all of this. You’ve saved me a great deal of trouble.”
“Perhaps you could do the same for me and tell me where my brother is? I’ve been looking for him all day.” Cassian leaned forward on the counter, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Are you holding him hostage, Y/n? Are you using your feminine powers to bring the poor male to his knees? I must admit, I didn’t imagine you as the kind capable of kidnapping. Or shadow-napping, shall we say?”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m hardly holding him hostage.” You gestured down the hallway past the bookshelves and the cases of empty glassware where the light from the staircase glowed like an iron eye. “He’s upstairs sleeping.”
Cassian furrowed his brows, stepping around and past you. He kept his wings tucked closer to his shoulder blades, careful not to upset the cramped organization you maintained in your shop.
He smirked. “Still? Are you sure you didn't work your feminine powers last night?”
You glanced out the store window. A few fae lingered outside the coffee shop across the street clutching takeaway boxes against their chest as they chatted and sipped their drinks. The street was otherwise empty. For now, you wouldn’t have to deal with any customers.
You looked back at Cassian. “I actually wanted to ask you about that.”
His brows furrowed. “About feminine powers?” He'd meant that as a joke.
“Gods, Cassian let that go.” You wrung your hands. “I wanted to ask if Azriel was alright? Has he seemed… normal to you?”
“I don’t know, has he?” Cassian lowered his voice, sinking into one of the stools by the clear glass medicine cabinet. “From what I can tell he seems well. Happy.”
Although happy was an understatement. Ever since you’d stumbled into their lives with Madja’s accolades and your wry humor, Azriel had been a goner. You’d pulled emotions from him as deftly as a spinster with a pile of wool, reduced him to a reverential, lovesick mess, and imbued his existence with a color not even Feyre could mix up. Which made it all the more confusing why you looked so nervous.
“You’ve seen more of him than I have, Y/n.” Cassian said. He braced his elbows against his knees, turning serious. The faint bags under his hazel eyes hinted at sleepless nights spent fussing over Neera. It was their fault really, any daughter of Nesta and Cassian was destined to be restless and particular.
“He just… he’s been sleeping more. Falling into bed early, but waking up late. Sometimes we’ll be reading together or just existing side by side and when I turn to face him, he’s dead asleep on the couch.”
Cassian’s lips twitched, slowly stretching into a smile. You plucked a hemp bag off one of the wall shelves at random, tossing its contents into a mortar and beginning to grind just so you could have something to do with your hands.
“At first I brushed it off, but it’s gotten to a point where I’ll be talking to him — mindless things, but regardless — and I’ll catch him dozing off. He’s always very apologetic after but I…” The mortar and pestle clattered to a stop. “I worry that he’s growing bored of me. Or that he’s sick in a way I can’t help.”
“Y/n.” There was a smile in Cassian’s voice, and indeed when you looked at him, his teeth were glistening in the soft afternoon haze. His eyes shined knowingly, as if the answer were obvious.
You paused. “Yes?”
“He feels safe with you.”
You blinked once. Twice.
“Pardon?”
Cassian tipped back in his seat, knocking his head against the cabinet with a rattle of jars and glass as he laughed. “He’s sleeping so much because he feels safe with you. It’s probably why he prefers to spend time here instead of at the townhouse and why he’s still dead asleep while we’re sitting here gossiping about him. Three years ago you couldn’t even whisper his name in a crowded room without him appearing from the shadows as if summoned.”
You felt heat rise in your cheeks. “Oh... I see.”
Cassian was grinning. “Y/n, I promise you he’s not bored of you. Azriel sleeping is a good thing. The gods know he could use more rest. I think he might be the worst of us when it comes to taking care of ourselves.”
Something about Cassian’s words had a crack splintering in your chest. You knew about his past. You knew of the horrors burned into the ruined skin of his hands and the weight his duties deposited on his shoulders.
And here you’d been worried over him sleeping past noon.
Shadows slipped down the stairs, pooling around your feet in a neat circle and kissing the exposed skin of your ankles. Azriel followed closely behind, still wearing his rumpled hair and pants and a shirt he’d hastily shoved his neck and arms into. He hadn’t even buttoned up the slits below his wings, opting to let the fabric swing free and loose and expose flashes of skin as he walked.
He jutted his chin out in acknowledgement of Cassian and then folded himself over your back, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and dropping his face into the crook of your neck where he breathed in the scent of lemon and lavender and medicine.
“You weren’t there when I woke up,” he said, frowning. There was a slur to his words.
“It’s past three, brother.”
Azriel snapped his head up in surprise, squinting at the window and the afternoon sunlight streaking in. The pale cobblestones shone like they’d been drenched in honey.
“What?”
Cassian rolled his eyes, patting Azriel’s back fondly and mussing up your hair before walking towards the door. He flipped the sign from “You’ve caught us! We’re open!” to “Much apologies, please try another time.”
“Goodnight, you two!" He called from over his back. "Remember we’re meeting at Rhys’s for dinner tonight.” He turned, bracing his arms against the top of the doorway and leaning forward like he meant to share a secret. “8pm sharp. Don’t be too late or we’ll get the wrong idea about what you two are up to.” He winked, then whistled down the street, letting the door close on its own behind him.
Azriel sighed, going back to nuzzling his face in your neck. He peppered the sensitive skin there with kisses.
“Will you be coming back upstairs then?” He murmured hopefully. "Now that you're finished with work?"
You bit your lip and decided rather quickly that the world would not end because you closed a few hours early.
You led him up the stairs, past the kitchen and living room on the second floor, and then up to the third floor — your bedroom. The window was still open, the hustle and bustle of the city and the smell of coffee from across the street wafting in. Steam no longer poured from the lip of the teapot, so you knew Azriel had had something to drink, and where you’d left toast on his plate this morning lay only crumbs.
Azriel dropped to his knees, untying your laces and helping you out of your boots. Then he straightened and tugged at the belt loops of your trousers, silently asking for permission before unbuttoning them and sliding them off your legs. Your shirt, then his shirt, and then his trousers joined the pile of crumpled clothing on the floor.
He gently pushed you back onto the bed, falling face first after you with a sigh. This was his favorite position to sleep in — you comfortable on your back and him laying with his hips slotted in between your legs and his head resting over your heart.
You sank your fingers into his velvety, black hair. His hums of satisfaction flowed through your body, lighting every nerve with a comforting buzz.
“Azriel?” You asked him, before sleep could finally claim him once more.
“Hmmm?”
“Do you feel safe with me?”
He pressed his face further into the soft flesh of your chest, bringing his arms up and around your waist before allowing his wings to do the same. The thin membranes glowed red as hot coals, blocking out the most offensive rays of light from outside.
“When I am with you, I forget that I was ever that boy whose hands got burned. When I am with you, the hundreds of years I spent feeling alone and worthless in this world melt away into nothing. When I am with you — when I am in this place that smells and feels so strongly of you — I can imagine a future that is good and pure and perfect.” He sighed deeply, seemingly ignorant to the pounding of your heart and the waves of feeling flooding your system. “So yes, my love — my Y/n — I do feel safe with you.”
“I feel safe with you too,” you murmured. “I love you, Azriel.”
You kissed the crown of his head, earning one last smile and a slurred, “I love you, Y/n,” before his jaw went slack and the room went silent save for the mixing of your breaths and the stirring of shadows.
Your writings are divine. I am speechless
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
You are one of the most amazing awesome and mind blowing writers over here.
I Put A Spell On You | Acotar x Witch Reader
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[season of the witch masterlist]
summary: You, a witch, perform a ritual over your mate.
warnings: witchy rituals, Az being smitten with Green Witch, suggestiveness for Cas's bc he's horny for Love Witch, and a bit of Eris being soft for his Chaos witch.
a/n: Happy Summerween! This is inspired by the meme "hot witch wife and me doing whatever the hell she wants" that came from the gif above. Only Azriel, Cassian and Eris are included in this. Idek if these count as drabbles since each one is roughly a little longer than 1K but oh well lol.
moon divider by @tsunami-of-tears <3
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Azriel x Green Witch
Candles were lit and placed carefully around the room, casting a warm glow that danced with your every movement. You knelt in the center, drawing a chalk circle with meticulous care. Your eyebrows knitted together, focus unwavering.
A sight that had Azriel’s gaze softening as he watched you from where he stood. His shadows flitted around him, singing in content. Precious, they whispered. Yours. The corner of his lips tugged up into a faint smile. Ours. His shadows were just as smitten with you as him.
"Azriel," you called softly as you shifted into a kneeling position.
He stepped forward, shadows shuddering under the force of your magic as he crossed the chalk circle. Kneeling before you, his gaze flickered to the tray between you, filled with a carefully arranged assortment of herbs, shimmering crystals, and freshly cut dandelions. Through the bond, he could feel your anticipation and nervousness humming like a vibrant current. He sent a soothing wave of calm your way, reveling in the way your muscles seemed to relax.
Lighting the candle on the tray with your magic, you finally look up and meet Azriel’s gaze. A faint blush colors your cheeks at what you find in those hazel eyes. "Why are you staring at me like that?"
“Because you’ve bewitched me.”
You lifted a brow. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
“Oh, but you have.” He grinned, hazel eyes sparkling. “Just being you is enough.”
“Don’t distract me,” you admonished, though your voice lacked firmness, and the blush on your face deepened. “I could be casting a hex on you for all you know… what if I were cursing you into a toad?”
“I’d croak only for you.”
“And if I jinxed you with a body-bind curse that would immobilize you?”
Azriel tilted his head, his eyes boring into yours with a challenge. “So that I’d never leave your side…Are you sure that’s a curse?”
You stared back at Azriel, eyes narrowing in skepticism. But he doesn’t waver. You’re certain he doesn’t even blink, and the sincerity radiating from him sends a wave of warmth through your heart. He’d let you do anything to him.
“You’re insufferable,” you finally replied, though the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed your words.
“And you’re adorable,” he said softly, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch sending delightful shivers down your spine.
Before his hand could fall back to his side, you reached out for it and laced your fingers through his, smile widening when one of his shadows wedges itself through the cracks. “Will you let me focus now?”
Azriel gives your hand a squeeze, silently commanding the shadow between your fingers to return to him. With a wave of your other hand, your spellbook came flying to you from your desk in the corner. In a whirl of green, the pages began to turn, your eyes darkening as they searched for the spell in mind.
“What is this spell for anyway?” Azriel couldn’t help but ask, realizing he had no clue as to what this ritual of yours entailed. When he told you he was going on a long mission–a full week–and you had asked if you could try something, he had simply said yes.
Darkness fully consumed your eyes, the turning pages coming to a stop. He doesn’t flinch when your dark eyes look up to his. To him, they were just another beautiful part of you that he loved. “It’s a small binding spell for protection. It’s like a stepping stone for the spell I want to cast after our mating ceremony.”
“And no, I won’t tell you what that one is because it’s a surprise.” You added after sensing the next question ready to roll off Azriel’s tongue.
Azriel let out a small huff. He doesn’t like surprises but you’re stubborn and unwavering. At the slight pout of his face, you bring his hand to your mouth and brushed your lips against his fingers. The subtle twitch of his right wing betrayed him, making you smile.
“Now, sit back on your heels and relax.” You instructed, taking his other hand in yours so both hands held his.
Azriel’s wings curled in slightly, the dark talons lightly grazing the floor. His shadows quieted, resting against his neck and lap. You gave both of his hands a tender squeeze before you began to murmur a chant, your voice soothing and melodic. The flames surrounding you both danced higher, responding to your magic.
Your magic enveloped you both, swirling along the line of your circle and casting a shimmering green glow upon the room. The magic from Azriel’s cobalt blue siphons sang in response, fluttering toward your emerald light and intertwining with it, just like your fingers are with his.
The combined force of your magic sent a cool gust of air your way, making your hair sway gently. The dandelions between you both seemed to awaken with a life of their own, the pappus carrying their seeds stirring. A tender flutter of warmth rose from Azriel’s stomach as the dandelions began to rise, his mind flashing back to that day in the field of dandelions when your laughter had filled the air.
The feathery plumes floated gracefully in the air between you both, carrying promises in the wind of your magic.They wrapped around your intertwined hands, morphing into a golden thread in a burst of bright light. Azriel eyes filled with a mix of admiration and something deeper that made your heart race. It prompted you to close your eyes, not wanting to be distracted as you whispered the last words of the spell.
When you finished, the room fell into a serene silence. You opened your eyes, and Azriel watched as the darkness lifted from them, smiling softly as you were brought back to him.
Azriel rises first so that he can guide you to your feet. His hands don’t let go of yours. Though it’s time for him to leave for his mission, his shoulders feel light. As if a huge weight has been lifted off and he feels something he’s never felt before–an overwhelming sense of safety. Even his shadows seemed to give a sigh of relief.
Resting his forehead against yours, he takes a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut briefly. “I’ll come home to you as soon as I can. Crawl if I have to.”
“You won’t have to,” you promised, looking up at him. “You’ll come home to me unscathed and we’ll have our mating ceremony. Then, I’ll show you my surprise.”
His lips brushed against your forehead in a tender kiss, the promise of your future together shimmering like the magic lingering in the air.
Cassian x Love Witch
Cassian’s head tilted back in pleasure, his large hands falling to your hips. Your lips found purchase against the newly exposed skin of his neck, slowly working your way up. He let out a deep groan when you grinded down against him, his hands kneading into you to press you further onto his growing bulge.
“Sweetheart–”
“Can I–”
“Yes.”
You let out a breathless giggle, pulling back to look down at your mate, your heart shaped pupils making an appearance. “You didn’t even let me finish.”
“Well, let’s fix that?” He smirked at you, his hand sliding up your shirt.
“I want to try something.”
“Anything,” Cassian replied, eyes hooded with lust, before chasing after your lips.
You placed a finger against his lips, stopping them from meeting yours and when your lips curved into a devious grin, Cassian realized you were not talking about sex.
“I want to cast a spell on you, perform a ritual.”
His throat bobbed. “A ritual?”
“Mmm,” you replied, shifting in his lap as you cradled his face into your hands. “One I can only perform when the recipient is in love with me. It makes my love potions more potent. I’ve never tried it before but I’d like to. It’ll be fun…”
Cassian searched your face, eyes narrowing at you. “Fun in what sense?”
“Fun in the sense that it’ll make you feel real, real good,” you replied, hands falling to his chest slowly snaking their way upwards to run down his back and teasing at the area where his wings meet his skin. His wings shuddered, his arousal filling the air.
“Only if I get to make you feel real, real good after.” His hands guided you to circle your hips over his lap again, eliciting a soft moan out of you as you felt his desire for you.
“Deal.”
**
Cassian watched as you moved about your spell room with a grace and purpose that made his heart swell with pride. Since you had become a couple, your magic had been steadily returning to its former strength. It seemed that all you needed was to believe in yourself for your magic to flourish again.
This wouldn’t be the first time you’d work your magic on him but it was the first time you’d perform a ritual on him. He couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and anticipation as he laid down in the center of the circle you had drawn. His wings, arms and legs were splayed out in a relaxed yet expectant manner.
You sprinkled salt around the circle, its crystals catching the fae lights hanging above and adding a shimmering boundary. Then, with a dash of cinnamon, Cassian’s nose wrinkled, the warm, spicy scent teasing his senses. As you scattered rose petals with delicate precision, Cassian’s eyes followed you, tracking your every movement.
“How does this work again?”
You made your way towards Cassian, your feet stopping right at his head as you peered down at him. “It’s simple. You think about me and only me—”
“Easy.” He smirked up at you.
With a playful wink, you threw a handful of rose petals at him. “—while I chant a spell. Your feelings will manifest into a tangible energy that I can then work with and stir into my potion.” You explained as you added drops of honey and more cinnamon to the brewing potion in the cauldron at the edge of the circle, the mixture bubbling softly.
“But what if I accidentally think of other things?” Cassian couldn’t help but ask.
His thoughts did tend to drift away often, usually to not so innocent thoughts of you. However, there were the occasional random ones such as what he’d be having for dinner, the result of the loud instrument he had gifted Nyx on his birthday or what would make Azriel tick next.
“Then, the cauldron will tip over angrily over your defiance to love me.”
He lifted his head slightly from the ground, relief bringing it back down when he saw you were joking.
“Just don’t think of anything negative. Otherwise, you’ll mess with the spell.” You reassured.
“Okay, got it! I can definitely do that. Think positive thoughts.” His eyebrows knitted together in concentration but then another thought came to mind and once again, he was lifting his head from the ground.
"And why am I shirtless?" He asked with a raised brow.
"Oh that," you grinned back at him, eyes sparkling with mischief. "That's for my own entertainment."
You began the ritual by lighting candles placed at each cardinal point of the circle. You then took a small, ornate vial from a nearby table, filled with a shimmering liquid—the essence of moonlight collected during the last full moon. You carefully poured a few drops into the cauldron, causing the potion to glow.
As you started chanting the spell, the energy in the room seemed to shift and intensify. Cassian closed his eyes, focusing on his love for you, letting the emotion swell within him. You placed your hands gently on his chest, feeling the strong, steady beat of his heart beneath your palms.
“Stay still.”
“Your hands are cold and it tickles.” Cassian breathed but did his best to not move.
The air around you crackled with energy like a steady, burning hearth. The pink thread of magic began to weave itself around Cassian, glowing brighter with each passing moment. The connection between you two was palpable, a current of love and magic flowing freely. You could feel his love transforming into a tangible force, ready to be harnessed for your potion.
As the final words of the spell left your lips, you gathered the energy with a sweeping motion of your hand, guiding it into the cauldron. The potion bubbled vigorously for a moment before settling into a shimmering, golden liquid, infused with the power of your love and Cassian’s devotion.
You looked down at Cassian, who opened his eyes and met your gaze. “There,” you said softly, a satisfied smile playing on your lips. “How do you feel?”
“Amazing.” Cassian replied, his entire body humming with a pleasant warmth. He felt good, real good. Just as you had said. He reached up and gently pulled you down for a kiss, his lips warm and soft against yours. “You’re amazing.”
Then, he flipped you over, positioning you on the ground beneath him as he hovered above you. His gaze darkened, love and lust simmering in those hazel eyes. “Now, it’s my turn to make you feel good.”
Lost in the promise of pleasure, you failed to close the ritual and your brewing love potion bubbled, turning into something more sensual…
Eris x Chaos Witch
Eris entered the dimly lit chamber, the hair on the back of his neck rising at the sudden chill in the air. The sensation, once unsettling, now was a welcomed embrace, a whisper of the magic that thrived in these walls. He closed the door behind him.
It was only then that he allowed his shoulders to sag, burdened by the heavy yet long desired mantle of his new responsibilities as the High Lord of Autumn. As he begins to unbutton his coat, the soft hum of a melody reached his ears, a soothing sound that seemed to dance with the flickering shadows. Drawn towards the source, Eris walked into the bathroom, where the air was thick with the scent of enchanted herbs and essential oils.
In the center of the room, a large, claw-footed bathtub awaited, filled with steaming water. Floating atop were delicate petals of autumn blooms, interspersed with sprigs of calming lavender and rosemary. You stood beside the tub, your back turned towards him, but he could feel your awareness of his presence through the bond that tightened in his chest.
Eris leaned against the doorframe, taking a moment to fully appreciate the scene before him. The tightening in his chest blossomed into a pool of warmth, the sight of you bringing him a sense of peace that always left him wondering if this was all a dream. Another tug through the bond reminds him that it’s not.
You wore a flowing gown of deep burgundy, reminiscent of the Autumn Court’s forests, and your hair cascaded around your shoulders. The humming ceased, and with a smile in your voice, you finally greeted him.
“My High Lord.”
A faint smirk tugged at Eris’s lips as he crossed his arms. "What is all of this?"
You turned around to face him, your eyes glowing a vivid crimson as the room darkened around you. "A little treat for you."
Eris raised an eyebrow, his own magic flickering the candles surrounding the bathtub to life. "A treat? For me?"
"Mmm. That’s what I said.”
Your eyes softened back to their natural hue. “Your energy has been all over the place these past couple of weeks. I thought a ritual might help ease your burden." You gestured to the enticing bath. "To relax you a little."
Eris blinked, momentarily taken aback by the gesture. His eyes roamed over the various jars and elixirs lining one of the counters, each one glimmering with an otherworldly light. His gaze returned to you, captivated by the grace with which you moved towards the array. You paused, studying the selection with a discerning eye before picking up a dark vial, its contents swirling with a strange mist.
You approached the bathtub with the chosen elixir, the air tingling with anticipation. You uncorked the bottle, releasing the trapped mist with a soft pop. You brought the open bottle to your nose, inhaling deeply and closing your eyes as if savoring a fine wine. “Frog’s breath,” you said, the corners of your lips twitching at the slight grimace on Eris’s face. “It’s surprisingly refreshing. It’s the toad’s breath you have to watch out for.”
“Of course. Wouldn’t want to go sniffing the wrong amphibian,” Eris replied, his tone laced with dry sarcasm.
You shot him a wry look before turning your attention back to the bath. With a flick of your wrist, you directed the mist towards the water, where it hovered above the surface like storm clouds, emitting a soft hiss as it settled.
Then, you reached into your dress, pulling out a long, vibrant feather from your chest, its colors shimmering in shades of reds, oranges, and gold. Your eyes glowed with a radiant red light as you admired the feather. “A phoenix feather. It brings forth rebirth and renewal—a rejuvenating energy, perfect for new beginnings.”
You beckoned Eris closer, and he complied, his amber eyes alight with curiosity and intrigue. He stood beside you, watching intently as you cast the feather into the bathtub as if it were your cauldron. There was a sudden flash of light, and the water began to shimmer with a faint golden hue.
“Looks like you’re preparing to make a stew out of me.”
You turned your head to meet his gaze, finding him already watching you. Your smile widened into a mischievous grin. “Oh, how you wound me, my love. I thought we were well past the murderous stage.”
Eris chuckled, reminiscing about the tumultuous beginnings of your relationship. How far the two of you had come since those early days. He never would have imagined that the witch with a love for chaos could capture his heart so completely. As you placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle nudge, he turned to face you.
“Will you let me take care of you?”
Eris gave you a nod, not trusting himself to speak. His throat felt tight with emotion.
You began to undo the remaining buttons on his coat, your fingers moving with a practiced grace. The fabric soon slid down his shoulders and fell to the floor. You continued with his vest and then, you reached his shirt, your nimble fingers brushing against his chest.
As the garment fell away, you took a moment to appreciate the sight before you. Your hands traced the planes of his muscles, the touch light and reverent, invoking a delightful shudder that ran through him like a current. Your eyes find his as your hands begin to trail lower, teasing at the waistband of his pants.
Eris’s gaze is intense, his eyes brimming with an emotion so profound your fingers stop. He finishes undressing himself, knowing that if he allowed you, there was no way he’d have the strength to indulge in the bath before indulging in you.
His hands found purchase on your waist, pulling you closer to him, lips meeting yours in a tender caress. “What next?” He breathes, his nose brushing against yours.
“Do you trust me?” You whisper and though he can only muster another nod, he sends his reassurance through the bond. “Then, get in.”
You extend your hand to him, and he takes it without hesitation, allowing you to guide him into the bath. Even as he settles into the tub, his back resting against the cool porcelain, his hand never leaves yours. The hot water envelops him, immediately easing the tension in his muscles, and he lets out a contented groan.
Bringing your hand to his lips, he brushes a kiss against your knuckles, his amber eyes reflecting the flickering candlelight. "What would I do without you?" he murmurs.
“Guess we’ll never find out. You’re stuck with me now.” You reply, tugging at the golden threads that tether your souls together.
"A devastating tragedy," Eris feigns lament.
"A true catastrophe," you echo, matching his tone.
The two of you share a smile, the look in your eyes contrasting the words exchanged. Your hands move gently to remove the autumn diadem from his head, a symbol of his new rank and the burdens he bears. You place the diadem safely onto the counter and then, you’re returning to his side.
You sit on the stool beside the bathtub, your fingers threading through his hair with a soothing touch. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," he replies and though it’s not the first time you performed a ritual over him, it’s your first time performing one as his mate and for pleasure. His heart flutters in anticipation.
Leaning in, you press a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "Just sit back and relax.”
His breath hitched as he felt the coolness of your magic radiate from your fingertips and seep into his scalp. You began to hum an ancient tune, a melody resonating with the earth's cycles and the changing seasons. The chill of your magic transformed into a soothing, calming caress, gently breaking down the shields of his mind. He closed his eyes, allowing the sensations to wash over him—the warmth of the water, the scent of enchanted herbs, the soft glow of candles.
Eris, who had always been the one to shoulder burdens and stand strong, felt an unfamiliar sensation—a deep, unspoken care enveloping him. It relaxed him, allowing him to be vulnerable in a way he rarely permitted. And in the quiet embrace of the night, he realized how fortunate he was to have someone like you in his life.
Someone who understood the storms within him and embraced them, bringing harmony to his tumultuous world.
a/n: hope you enjoyed these! Eris's turned out a lot softer than I first imagined. I do intend to post more witchy HCs/drabbles but at the moment, I don't have an idea for one. But if you do, feel free to send it my way!
[witch au masterlist]
general witch tag list: @rcarbo1, @scorpioriesling, @ninthcircleofprythian
love witch tag list: @mrsjna , @shadowsingercassia, @acourtofbatboydreams, @rcarbo1, @mvidaaaa ,
@stuff-i-found-while-crying , @lipstickmarks, @yamisukehoe , @mp-littlebit , @thecraziestcrayon,
@talesofadragon, @ceoofyearning, @anuttellaa, @breadsticks2004, @chicken-fifi
green witch tag list: @fxckmiup, @aria-chikage
General tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444, @lilah-asteria @the-sweet-psycho
@daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @stormhearty, @pit-and-the-pen, @mybestfriendmademe
@loving-and-dreaming @azriels-human, @mrsjna
I got teary eyed while reading this. Azriel deserves this and so much more.
He Feels Safe With You — Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel's sleeping habits begin to worry you, but after a conversation with Cassian, you realize you've misinterpreted the entire situation.
Warnings: Major fluff. Like tooth-rotting sweetness. Sleepy Az.
Author's note: I should be sleeping because I have work tomorrow but instead I've chosen to write this oneshot and I have no regrets.
It was starting to become a problem now.
You cocked your head to the side, cradling a cup of tea in your hands and watching Azriel as he continued to sleep soundly in your bed. You had the windows cracked open and the early Autumn breeze swirled indoors with the scent of lavender, bergamot, and the strawberry jam you’d slathered over your toast. You checked the time once again on the glossy marble clock face. The arrow-shaped hour hand clicked ever closer to 11am, the minute hand close to overtaking its competitor.
10:55am and Azriel was still asleep.
The sheets clustered loose and low around his waist, mimicking the curling of his shadows up and down the ridges of his spine and across the delicate membrane of his wings. His wings hung loose and relaxed, stretching off the edges of your bed and caressing the floor with a lover’s touch. You blushed at the sight. When you and Azriel had first started courting each other three years ago, you’d thought through the mechanics of housing an Illyrian warrior in your bed — should you buy a new bed frame and mattress? Did you even have space for it in your apartment? The answer had been no to both, and yet Azriel loved when your daytime activities ended here instead of at the townhouse. If he cared about having to walk sideways to avoid the bookshelves in the halls or having to crouch to avoid the overhang above the staircase, he didn’t mention it.
Three hours ago you’d woken up beneath the gentle weight of his wings, untangled yourself from Azriel’s greedy limbs, and crept down the stairs to your kitchen, bleary eyed but well rested. But that was three hours ago! Since then you’d brushed your teeth, washed your face, and eaten breakfast, and still the Shadowsinger hadn’t stirred. You were beginning to question whether he truly was the Spymaster of the Night Court as you sat in your velvet chair and admired your lover. You traced all the subtle movements of his body as he muddled through dreams you could only wonder at — the creasing of his brow, the slack line of his lips as he breathed, the twitching of his fingertips as he reached for some phantom object.
The clock struck eleven and you sighed, gathering your plates but leaving Azriel’s pile of toast, butter, and honey alone. You also left the teapot and its mismatched cup, blowing magic over its lid in a silent command to keep its contents hot until Azriel awoke.
“I’ll be down in the shop,” you whispered to his shadows, trusting that they would relay the message when their master finally decided to grace the daytime with his presence.
One by one, shadows slipped off Azriel’s skin, curling around your ankles and wrists in a silent plea to stay. You shook them off like one might a needy child, promising you’d only be two floors down.
The artists’ corner in Velaris was an eclectic array of compact townhouses, each outwardly dressed in their unique, dazzling finery. Your townhouse was squished between a painting studio and a luthier’s. The painting studio’s owner seemed intent on changing the color of the wooden sidings every other day and the drawings scribbled over the windows every other week. Today it was periwinkle blue to match the hydrangeas overflowing from the window boxes.
You nodded in approval as you flipped the apothecary sign over from “Much apologies, please try another time” to “You’ve caught us! We’re open!” The blue would match your tulip yellow sidings and the clean white accents of the luthier’s. Last week it had been red and that had looked gods-awful.
You busied yourself in the shop, crushing up lavender and herbs and boiling mugwort in fire-stained glassware in between flurries of customers until the medicinal stench in the air grew thick and strong. You were used to it by now. It smelled clean. Like home.
You were finishing tying up a bundle of teabags when Cassian came in carrying a sturdy wooden box under one arm like it weighed five pounds instead of fifty. You snapped out the wrinkles of a cloth bag, dropping the teabags and five vials of sleep serum for the nightingale-winged nymph in front of you.
“Four feathers and three strands of hair, as we bargained for,” you said, sliding the bag across the counter.
The nymph nodded in approval, extending out a wing and shoving her fingers into the pillowy softness. She tested for loose feathers ready to pull.
“You’re a godsend, Y/n, has anyone ever told you that?” She pulled out three feathers, closed her wing, and started testing the feathers on the other side. “Finnigan’s was asking me for ten. Ten! Can you believe that? If I hadn’t found you in time I’d have been reduced to a plucked chicken.” She was much less precious about her mousey brown hair and yanked out three strands at random. “Oops, you get an extra strand today,” she sang, dropping the feathers and hair into the jars you held out.
“Well it’s a good thing you found me then, Moricka.”
“Honestly! I understand he’s got a large studio space he’s renting in the thick of the Palace, and even I will admit the ambiance is rather professional—”
Cassian raised his brow, a smirk tugging at the corners of his scarred lips as he continued to stand motionless in the doorway. It was true your space was more… homey than Finnigan’s, but your expertise shined in intimate spaces. You liked the control and the familiarity that came from running a smaller business and you wouldn’t give it up for the world.
“But I do think the success is getting to his head. You both studied under Lady Madja so I don’t see why—”
You nodded absentmindedly. It was always like this with Moricka. The songbird in her made it difficult for her to stop talking, but at least her voice was pleasant.
She threw her hands up in the air before finally catching wind of another presence in the room. Cassian waved at her with a wink and an orange blush creeped onto her full cheeks. He tended to have that effect on fae with his towering size and the wild beauty of his chiseled jaw and smattering of scars over his cheeks and brow.
“Oh… oh dear, I didn’t realize you had another customer. Oh my goodness I’ve been talking your ear off all this time and you’ve been too kind to say anything. You’re a godsend, Y/n. A godsend! I don’t know what I would do without you, although I should really be letting you go now.” She grabbed her things and sidestepped the range of Cassian’s wings, trying and failing now to gawk. “I’ll see you soon enough again I’m sure.”
“I’ll be here.” You sighed in relief when the doorbell rang behind her petite frame, the inoffensive smile you offered all your customers sliding off your face like oil on water. Cassian chuckled, dropping the box onto the countertop with a dull thud.
“Long day?”
You pulled out a stepstool and began rummaging around through the box, pulling out jars of squid ink, bark trimmings, buttons, and one particularly nasty jar containing a large eye suspended in yellow goo. “It’s not even three.”
“Did I stutter?”
You tapped the glass and the eye swiveled around to look at you, pupil enlarging and constricting with a stutter. “Yes, yes very good,” you muttered your praise and Cassian fought hard not to shiver. He had a stomach for a great many things, but some of the specimens you handled tested his resilience.
“Thank you for bringing all of this. You’ve saved me a great deal of trouble.”
“Perhaps you could do the same for me and tell me where my brother is? I’ve been looking for him all day.” Cassian leaned forward on the counter, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Are you holding him hostage, Y/n? Are you using your feminine powers to bring the poor male to his knees? I must admit, I didn’t imagine you as the kind capable of kidnapping. Or shadow-napping, shall we say?”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m hardly holding him hostage.” You gestured down the hallway past the bookshelves and the cases of empty glassware where the light from the staircase glowed like an iron eye. “He’s upstairs sleeping.”
Cassian furrowed his brows, stepping around and past you. He kept his wings tucked closer to his shoulder blades, careful not to upset the cramped organization you maintained in your shop.
He smirked. “Still? Are you sure you didn't work your feminine powers last night?”
You glanced out the store window. A few fae lingered outside the coffee shop across the street clutching takeaway boxes against their chest as they chatted and sipped their drinks. The street was otherwise empty. For now, you wouldn’t have to deal with any customers.
You looked back at Cassian. “I actually wanted to ask you about that.”
His brows furrowed. “About feminine powers?” He'd meant that as a joke.
“Gods, Cassian let that go.” You wrung your hands. “I wanted to ask if Azriel was alright? Has he seemed… normal to you?”
“I don’t know, has he?” Cassian lowered his voice, sinking into one of the stools by the clear glass medicine cabinet. “From what I can tell he seems well. Happy.”
Although happy was an understatement. Ever since you’d stumbled into their lives with Madja’s accolades and your wry humor, Azriel had been a goner. You’d pulled emotions from him as deftly as a spinster with a pile of wool, reduced him to a reverential, lovesick mess, and imbued his existence with a color not even Feyre could mix up. Which made it all the more confusing why you looked so nervous.
“You’ve seen more of him than I have, Y/n.” Cassian said. He braced his elbows against his knees, turning serious. The faint bags under his hazel eyes hinted at sleepless nights spent fussing over Neera. It was their fault really, any daughter of Nesta and Cassian was destined to be restless and particular.
“He just… he’s been sleeping more. Falling into bed early, but waking up late. Sometimes we’ll be reading together or just existing side by side and when I turn to face him, he’s dead asleep on the couch.”
Cassian’s lips twitched, slowly stretching into a smile. You plucked a hemp bag off one of the wall shelves at random, tossing its contents into a mortar and beginning to grind just so you could have something to do with your hands.
“At first I brushed it off, but it’s gotten to a point where I’ll be talking to him — mindless things, but regardless — and I’ll catch him dozing off. He’s always very apologetic after but I…” The mortar and pestle clattered to a stop. “I worry that he’s growing bored of me. Or that he’s sick in a way I can’t help.”
“Y/n.” There was a smile in Cassian’s voice, and indeed when you looked at him, his teeth were glistening in the soft afternoon haze. His eyes shined knowingly, as if the answer were obvious.
You paused. “Yes?”
“He feels safe with you.”
You blinked once. Twice.
“Pardon?”
Cassian tipped back in his seat, knocking his head against the cabinet with a rattle of jars and glass as he laughed. “He’s sleeping so much because he feels safe with you. It’s probably why he prefers to spend time here instead of at the townhouse and why he’s still dead asleep while we’re sitting here gossiping about him. Three years ago you couldn’t even whisper his name in a crowded room without him appearing from the shadows as if summoned.”
You felt heat rise in your cheeks. “Oh... I see.”
Cassian was grinning. “Y/n, I promise you he’s not bored of you. Azriel sleeping is a good thing. The gods know he could use more rest. I think he might be the worst of us when it comes to taking care of ourselves.”
Something about Cassian’s words had a crack splintering in your chest. You knew about his past. You knew of the horrors burned into the ruined skin of his hands and the weight his duties deposited on his shoulders.
And here you’d been worried over him sleeping past noon.
Shadows slipped down the stairs, pooling around your feet in a neat circle and kissing the exposed skin of your ankles. Azriel followed closely behind, still wearing his rumpled hair and pants and a shirt he’d hastily shoved his neck and arms into. He hadn’t even buttoned up the slits below his wings, opting to let the fabric swing free and loose and expose flashes of skin as he walked.
He jutted his chin out in acknowledgement of Cassian and then folded himself over your back, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and dropping his face into the crook of your neck where he breathed in the scent of lemon and lavender and medicine.
“You weren’t there when I woke up,” he said, frowning. There was a slur to his words.
“It’s past three, brother.”
Azriel snapped his head up in surprise, squinting at the window and the afternoon sunlight streaking in. The pale cobblestones shone like they’d been drenched in honey.
“What?”
Cassian rolled his eyes, patting Azriel’s back fondly and mussing up your hair before walking towards the door. He flipped the sign from “You’ve caught us! We’re open!” to “Much apologies, please try another time.”
“Goodnight, you two!" He called from over his back. "Remember we’re meeting at Rhys’s for dinner tonight.” He turned, bracing his arms against the top of the doorway and leaning forward like he meant to share a secret. “8pm sharp. Don’t be too late or we’ll get the wrong idea about what you two are up to.” He winked, then whistled down the street, letting the door close on its own behind him.
Azriel sighed, going back to nuzzling his face in your neck. He peppered the sensitive skin there with kisses.
“Will you be coming back upstairs then?” He murmured hopefully. "Now that you're finished with work?"
You bit your lip and decided rather quickly that the world would not end because you closed a few hours early.
You led him up the stairs, past the kitchen and living room on the second floor, and then up to the third floor — your bedroom. The window was still open, the hustle and bustle of the city and the smell of coffee from across the street wafting in. Steam no longer poured from the lip of the teapot, so you knew Azriel had had something to drink, and where you’d left toast on his plate this morning lay only crumbs.
Azriel dropped to his knees, untying your laces and helping you out of your boots. Then he straightened and tugged at the belt loops of your trousers, silently asking for permission before unbuttoning them and sliding them off your legs. Your shirt, then his shirt, and then his trousers joined the pile of crumpled clothing on the floor.
He gently pushed you back onto the bed, falling face first after you with a sigh. This was his favorite position to sleep in — you comfortable on your back and him laying with his hips slotted in between your legs and his head resting over your heart.
You sank your fingers into his velvety, black hair. His hums of satisfaction flowed through your body, lighting every nerve with a comforting buzz.
“Azriel?” You asked him, before sleep could finally claim him once more.
“Hmmm?”
“Do you feel safe with me?”
He pressed his face further into the soft flesh of your chest, bringing his arms up and around your waist before allowing his wings to do the same. The thin membranes glowed red as hot coals, blocking out the most offensive rays of light from outside.
“When I am with you, I forget that I was ever that boy whose hands got burned. When I am with you, the hundreds of years I spent feeling alone and worthless in this world melt away into nothing. When I am with you — when I am in this place that smells and feels so strongly of you — I can imagine a future that is good and pure and perfect.” He sighed deeply, seemingly ignorant to the pounding of your heart and the waves of feeling flooding your system. “So yes, my love — my Y/n — I do feel safe with you.”
“I feel safe with you too,” you murmured. “I love you, Azriel.”
You kissed the crown of his head, earning one last smile and a slurred, “I love you, Y/n,” before his jaw went slack and the room went silent save for the mixing of your breaths and the stirring of shadows.
Word count: 2100+
Warnings: mentions of killing - blood, wounds, pain, fear - I tried to be decent and as non descriptive as possible, but..👀
Second chapter this week because every voice matters and counts 😉
Anyway, this one is probably horrible 😅
Part XVI | Part XVIII
You were determined. Right that night after Lucien's visit, you looked up Rhys' office again. Inside you felt cold and empty, somehow disconnected as you knocked on the door. The answer came immediately. Being it other day you would laugh because it seemed as if Rhys lived in his office. When you needed you always found him there. But today wasn't the day.
You peeked in finding him seated behind his desk covered with different documents. At first he didn't pay you any attention, too busy with whatever he was reading. He was frowning at the paper in his hand, the other one played with the pen. You knew what this gesture meant. Something worried him. Or pissed him off. When he was younger he unconsciously played with different objects all the time. The habit almost disappeared as he grew older.
"May I?" Hearing your voice he jerked up and finally looked up from the papers. He blinked as if he didn't hear you come in.
"Y/N? Yeah.. Yeah, sure," Rhys stood up, offering you a seat. He checked the time "Something happened? It's quite late."
Yes, you wanted to shout at him, but you wouldn't do so. A lot of things had happened, the conversation between him and Lucien that you overheard, was one of them. But you already made up your mind. You wouldn't mention Tamlin. He would refuse you as he refused Lucien. Your brother was too stubborn. You came to ask him for the last favour, for the last piece of puzzle. It was strange and hard to explain, but you knew you needed it. At last you were ready.
Your face had to give you away because his jaw tightened and he crossed hands on the chest. His piercing gaze scanned you, his shoulders tensed. Words weren't necessary, he understood.
"It.. it won't be easy," Rhysand spoke slowly. "I won't be able to take out one memory at a time. They are too tangled up. I'll have to break the barrier. The process can be quite unpleasant, maybe even painful and the memories will all come at once. It might be very traumatic experience."
He was trying to warn you, prepare you for inevitable. Of course he was worried for your wellbeing and how it could hurt you, yet he was impatient, too. Since you came he kept asking about that particular night, never really pressuring you about it. However Rhysand eagerly waited for this moment.
Straightening your back you stuck out your chin. Your gaze didn't falter. "I know." You were ready. You'd spent all afternoon preparing for the worst.
Rhysand curled his lip, thinking. "Fine," he spoke after a moment. "But there is one thing I want from you."
"What is it?"
"I want to see it. All. From the start to the end. Everything you remember, not just some glimpses."
You frowned. "Why?"
He pushed off of the desk that he was leaning against and turning away from you headed to the window where lights of the city on the other bank of Sidra shone. He was silent. Minutes passed. You waited.
"I-.. I need to know what he caused."
You swallowed watching his back. You shivered with cold even though the room was warm. "He?"
Rhysand slowly turned back to you, looking straight in your eyes. "Tamlin." His voice wasn't more than a whisper, but it was so harsh, so full of rage you winced as if he slapped you.
"What does he have to do with it?" Your voice was hoarse. Lump grew in your throat and breathing once again became laboured.
"He was the one who told his father where you would be."
"Why would he do that? And how could he know anyway?"
"At that time we were still friends. He knew it because I told him. It'd never occurred to me that something like that could happen."
You held your breath, still shivering. Rhysand watched your trembling hands with hardened expression. You clenched them into fists pressing them to your lap to hide the tremors. "And what will you do after you find out?"
He considered it. "I'll hate him even more," he said at last. "Our father made him pay enough already."
"You won't hurt him?" Rhysand just shook his head. "Can you promise it?"
"I can, but.. I know you care about him even though I'm against it. And I don't get it. Honestly. However I wouldn't hurt you that way. For me you are much more than a promise."
You pressed your lips together. You believed him, you really did. But if you managed to get back to Spring Court, there was no doubt Rhysand would be angry. Very angry. Then anything could happen and you didn't want to risk it. And so thinking about the future, you asked him to make a promise. He didn't hesitate for even a second and did what you asked him for.
You felt a prickling sensation on your right shoulder. Rhysand rolled up his right sleeve. With awe you watched as a tattoo of small rose appeared on his forearm and you knew that its twin was on your shoulder.
Now you could start.
It was just as Rhysand warned you. He couldn't untangle the threads no matter how hard he tried and to get them out he had to destroy the barrier. As soon as it was down the confused images that chased you in the nightmares came alive.
You were camping with your mother and a few other females and children on the rocky bank of the river in Illyrian mountains. It was peaceful time and you had a lot of fun sitting with them around the campfire, listening to the stories. After eating some more marshmallows you all retired to own tents for the night.
Several hours later you were woken up by screams and smell of smoke and something metallic. Bed next to you was empty. You crept through the tent on all fours and peeked out.
The ground was smeared with blood, some of the tents were burning, females protecting their children, were trying to hide or run away, but all of them were met with the same fate. Small group of males slaughtered them on the spot or hurt them enough, so they couldn't move, and dragged them to the center of the camp. Blood dripped from their swords, wild grins on their faces. They spared no one.
You were terrified, but you knew the second you would make any noise, even the smallest, they would notice you. Your muscles locked on the spot and only thing you could do, was watching the horror around.
Movement at the edge of the campsite caught your attention. A blond hair male appeared. Your eyes widened. You knew him. It was the young male from Spring Court who you saw with your brother once. His clothes were clean, without a single drop of blood. He was unarmed and looked around in horror. Your eyes met for a moment. His mouth moved as if he was telling you to stay hidden.
Then he grabbed one of the girls and.. in a flash of light her features changed. Now she looked exactly like you. Your heart painfully throbbed in your chest. What did he just do?
Another male with sword came into view, getting close to him. The male was older, his clothes and light colored hair were stained with blood, but that was all you could say about him. You didn't see his face.
The male laughed. "Great job, son! We were looking for this little bitch."
He grabbed the girl. "Now return home," he ordered to young male.
Tamlin didn't move, his eyes jumping between the male and the girl. He didn't dare to even look your direction. "But.."
"I told you to leave!" male snapped, authority of high lord in his voice. Tamlin gritted his teeth as his body bent and then he winnowed away.
You watched as male dragged the girl to the group gathered in the center of camp where you all sat around campfire only several hours earlier.
Then they took one person after another and cut their throats in front of your mother. She didn't cry, refusing to give them what they sought. Soon enough your mother and the girl were the only ones alive.
Females and children who survived cried in pain. The male tossed girl to them. A female reached for girl, tugging her to her chest to protect her. It was your mother. Her wings were broken, blood seeping from deep wound on her side. She was pale, but baring her teeth she said something. You didn't hear her through all the cries and crackling of the fire. All males boomed with laughter.
One of the males reached for the girl. Your mother fought him, but he was stronger. He punched her to the face and for a moment her grip on the girl weakened. Male snatched the girl, dragging her to the pile of bodies. Other two males gripped your mother's arms when she tried to get to her.
This time it wasn't fast death that waited for the girl. First, the oldest of them cut the membranes of her wings. Girl screamed in pain, but the male who dragged her there, held her in place. Then slowly they cut off her wings making it as painful as possible. At some point girls shrieks stopped as she fainted. At last they cut her head off, tossing it to your mother's knees.
Your mother screamed at the top of her lungs and cried this time. When the oldest of the males moved toward your mother you couldn't watch it anymore. You curled to ball, your body was shaking uncontrollably and not only with sobs. Closing eyes you pressed hands to your ears, but you still heard your mother's screams until they fell silent.
You didn't know how long you lay there. Maybe you even fainted for a moment. A strong hand grabbed your elbow, dragging you to your feet. It was one of the younger males.
"Look what I found," he grinned. Others were confused.
"Didn't we already take care of her?"
"I could swear I put her head into that box," the other said.
"How is it possible there are two of them?"
You wanted to fight the male who held you. However his grip was so strong you already felt the forming bruises.
Around you stood only the young males, the older one was nowhere to be seen. You managed to slap one with your wing.
"Bitch!" he shouted in anger.
A sharp pain shot through your body. You cried out. One of your wing landed in the dirt, droplets of blood rolled down your arm, clothes on your back became soaked, sticking to your body. Blood dripped on the ground, mixing with the others. Another wave of pain shot through your body as the other wing followed the first one.
You fell to your knees without feeling the impact or the sharp stones cutting into your flesh. It was the most agonizing pain you'd ever felt. Everything blurred before your eyes. Voices around you kept fading and coming back like echo, but you didn't understand a single word. Your world turned upside down.
You had to faint because you didn't remember much of what followed. At one moment you felt hands around your shoulders and under knees, blurred face of older male and night sky above you.
You awoke for a while in a room that looked more like a cell. It was dark and reeked with dirt, blood and magic. So much magic.
You were lying on your stomach, your back was burning. The older male was bending over you, doing something with your wounds. It hurt so much.
Your mind kept switching between unconsciousness and awareness. The buzzing in your head was driving you crazy. You heard muffled voices, but didn't understand what they spoke of. World was spinning with you too fast and you were nauseous. You remembered puking once, but that was all.
And then it suddenly stopped. Fresh air filled your lungs, stretching them delightfully. You opened your eyes, looking around.
Soft green light was penetrating through the windows. You were lying in a soft bed. You felt strangely empty and little confused. But there was no pain and that was the only thing that mattered. Who would care in that situation about not remembering anything, about not knowing where you were and how you got there. It didn't hurt anymore. And that mattered the most.
Taglist:
@impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @nocasdatsgay @yunloyal @nebarious @isabiss @st0rmyt @lilah-asteria @ubigaia @paleidiot
the cliff (1)
hi guys! this is the first azriel fic i post here. i mainly do marvel but i just couln't stop thinking about this so i decided to take it forward. i hope you guys like this! see u next time <;33
summary: you never thought that the road to your mate could bring so much suffering… pairing: azriel x f!reader words: +4k warnings: briefly descriptions of torture, bad words, descriptions of sorrow¿?, angst but a happy ending, i think. also, English is not my first language and i actually read acotar in another language, so sorry for any mistakes! and also!! i haven't read a court of silver flames, so probably the facts around cassian and nesta's bond and feyre's pregnancy aren't accurate, sorry for that!
part 2: the house
part 3: the court
part 4: the routine
You were sure that the decisions you had made shouldn't have led you to that place. With your limp legs dragging against the grass, the wet feel of the mud drying coldly on your skin with each gale, increasing the chills that ran through your body, not only because of the dread and fear you had for your life, but because of the scorching frost on the top of that cliff.
There was something magical about wishing upon a shooting star. You knew it, your parents were living proof that it worked. They had met just after your mother had wished upon a dying star. Mates. And they promised you it would be the same for you. You hoped it would be the same for you when, encouraged by your same parents, you wandered Prythian in search of meeting the other end of the bond that you knew connected you to someone beyond, in search of a connection greater than you could ever understand.
You firmly believed in that magic one night, in the midst of the lonely and almost desolate journey from end to end, when lying watching the night sky you saw it pass by. A helpless shooting star.
You made your wish with your heart in your hand, closing your eyes and whispering as if it were a prayer. Maybe it was. You didn't know if that was what had gone wrong.
All you knew was that, the next day, your journey was over.
You hadn't finished waking up when you found yourself being dragged across the ground of the Day Court, right at the border it shared with the Night Court, from the hands of Ilyrian soldiers who wouldn't listen to your shouted words. Or simply preferred to ignore them.
You weren't sure how much you had screamed at them, even as they took you in the most savage way possible and furrowed you through the wind, the cold gusts of the Nightmare Court piercing your skin. But it had to have been a good while, because the next time you were above ground your throat was so dry you could barely breathe.
You didn't know what was going on, not even when days later, after feeding yourself with only mush and water, you met the first person willing to tell you something and not turn his face away from you. It was a man, Ilyrian too, with gigantic black wings that covered almost all the light in the small room where you were held captive. His constant presence invoked darkness.
He never introduced himself. He would only ask “who sent you?”, waiting for a sane answer from you, one that you couldn't give because every time you tried to say something that was not remotely like what he wanted to hear, he would move two fingers of his left hand and two more soldiers would enter the room and grab you roughly by the arms, pulling you closer to a barrel with water that was in the corner of the room. That was the water you usually drank, and it was never as cold as when they entered the room.
Needless to say, after a couple of days, you couldn't even go near the water anymore.
It could've been a couple of days, weeks or months… you weren't sure anymore. Time had become an insignificant concept compared to your desire for freedom. You had explained countless times to the Ilyrian the reasons why they had found you wandering near the Court, but that wasn't enough. Not even when you told him that they could confirm it with your family in the Summer Court. No excuse was good enough, the Ilyrian seemed to simply want to find a culprit, whatever he had to do, whoever he had to point the finger at.
And then, one day, you thought you saw a glimmer of hope. Another lone shooting star, which you barely caught through the bars the room had for windows. The memory of your parents flooded your memory, a dark cloud settling over you and drowning out any sense of calm you were able to collect after the ilyrians left. Through tears and sobs you begged the star for a way out, hoping its magic was powerful enough to fight the savage soldiers.
The next day more ilyrians than usual appeared, but they did not enter the room. Not after the High Lord of the Night Court did so first.
And you thought the star had heard you.
“She didn't say anything?”
His dismissive, indifferent tone almost made you shudder on the icy floor, but you didn't let that take away your hope, kneeling in front of him with dried tears and dirt on your face. With your hands clasped in front of you, as if he were a deity personified, you begged him to listen to you, but you had to watch him send you a disinterested glance before he turned in the direction of the entrance.
“Take her away.”
You didn't know why you had expected the high lord to intercede on your behalf, knowing the stories that brimmed through the Courts in Prythian. Your parents had warned you. They encouraged you to pursue the bond on your chest, but begged you to go no further than Court Day if the bond demanded it. They made you promise to return, and that they would then seek a way to find your mate if he or she was beyond the Night Court. You should've heeded, of course you did. When you saw the cold, emotionless eyes of the high lord's face, you regretted every decision you had made.
Even though you knew it shouldn't have been that way, because you had never done anything wrong. You had never tried to harm someone. Maybe that made it harder. Wondering every night why. Why did you deserve to go through that? What evil was it that you were paying for?
There was something magical about wishing on a shooting star, but that magic wasn't guarded for you.
-
Azriel had been spending sleepless nights for weeks now, without explanation. Things were quiet in Velaris, even in the Court of Nightmares. But when he entered the darkness of his room at night, when he tried to close his eyes with his wings spread across the bed, a knot stirred in his chest. Tears would well up behind his eyes and a sadness would engulf him from head to toe. It was so overwhelming that there were few nights when Azriel could contain the feelings and despair of his shadows.
He tried not to let that deficiency interrupt his work, but it was difficult when his eyes would close at the table during breakfast, or in the middle of the room when Rhys talked about the weekly goals. Several times his friends would start asking questions, but it was easy for Azriel to say he had trouble sleeping because that was never an uncommon occurrence over the course of his long life.
It was once Rhys told him that he had told Madja about his problem and she had sent him some herbs that it all started to get weirder.
Yes, Azriel was able to fall asleep. But every night he had strange dreams. Dreams of a life that was not his own. Memories of someone else he didn't even know. Another woman's life, somewhere Azriel could barely remember when he woke up, with more people who must have been close to her, but not to him, who shared her day to day life, who celebrated together with her, who were happy. Azriel didn't wake up much better in the mornings than when he spent the whole night without sleep.
Now he not only had to deal with the heaviness of lack of sleep, but with the questions. He could never think they were random dreams because he heard the same laughter every time, the same voice, the same place. He felt the same tranquility before waking up.
Azriel believed Madja would be his source of answers then.
“Your mate is looking for you,” the old woman answered him, one sunny day in Velaris when he chased her through her tent hoping she would answer his one question. That stopped him abruptly on his feet, his body from the abdomen upward leaning forward a bit from the suddenness of the movement.
“Mate?”
Madja barely hissed in response, a sound of affirmation that would haunt Azriel for several days afterward.
“How is that possible?”
“What?”
Madja was turning her back to him, her small body hunched over as she inspected the medicinal plants she kept for sale. Azriel watched them along with her, his mind moving through the threads of thoughts, between every memory of his dreams and every memory…of her.
“How can she do that?”
Azriel heard Madja sigh and the sound of metal followed as she dropped the gray watering can she had kept for years into place. Azriel could still remember the first time it had been seen, shiny and pompous in the Velaris sunlight. Madja's brown eyes roamed over his face and Azriel hadn't felt this way since the time when Rhys's mom had looked at him with loving motherly eyes.
“Don't ask me how the bond works, Shadowsinger. The Cauldron knows how it does things.”
Azriel could sleep less after that. Madja had left him with more questions than answers. And, on that note, Azriel began to fly over Velaris more often. For some reason, he felt she was close. The bond hadn't snapped into place yet, but he knew that the time was near when that would happen. He didn't even know if it had snapped for her yet, all he knew was that he had a mate over there, too far away from him, and too scared for him to stand idly by.
Eventually, Azriel had to talk to Rhysand. Rhys, his high lord, his best friend, his brother. Probably the only person in the Inner Circle who could fully understand how he felt at those moments. Because Azriel felt he was going to lose his mind if he didn't find his mate and end whatever suffering she was going through. The uncertainty was eating him alive and the hours of hopelessness and fear that were going on inside him, around that emptiness in his chest, did not ease things at all. If he felt this way from the comfort of his home, he didn't want to imagine what she was going through.
Rhysand agreed to allow him more outings to enlarge the perimeter of his search, but the passing days proved his effort fruitless.
“Everything okay, brother?”
Cassian had met his mate. Nesta, Feyre's sister. Azriel was very happy for him, very happy that his brothers had found their life mates and that he could realize the good they brought into their lives. But there was a huge shadow that haunted him, beyond the darkness he carried with him, and it had much to do with the guilt of not being able to find and deliver his mate from suffering. He no longer knew how much time had passed. His shadows stirred restlessly every day, with every memory, with every gale.
Azriel sighed when he felt Cassian's hand on his left shoulder, as they both stood watching Velaris from the top of a mountain.
“I don't know what to do anymore, Cassian,” Azriel let out, his shoulders slumping under the pressure and stress.
He usually didn't talk about the subject of his mate with his brothers, not as often as someone would think to be so close. It was something Azriel held close to his heart and wanted to resolve on his own, but so many failures were beginning to weigh him down.
Cassian patted his shoulder and then gave it a squeeze, trying to silently comfort him, though he knew that would do little to soothe the clamor in his soul. Because, though the bond hadn't snapped for Azriel, he could well believe that he had had it tugging at his chest in an unfamiliar direction for months now. Even if he didn't feel the bond, the mere acknowledgement of its existence was agony, especially when it didn't help him find his mate.
Cassian sighed beside him, letting a few seconds pass in silence before speaking again, his gaze fixed on Velaris' expanse and his heart shrinking at the visible suffering on his brother's face.
“Rhysand is traveling to the camp, will you accompany us?”
Azriel lately had little desire for anything other than touring Velaris and the surrounding area of the Court of Nightmares looking for his mate, but this time he decided to accept. For some reason, Azriel decided to accompany them.
The Night had been feuding with the Summer for a couple of years. Tarquin and Rhysand… were not on the best of terms. The last time Feyre had traveled to the Summer, pregnant with Nyx, Tarquin and his army had held her captive because of a misunderstanding in the information they had obtained from the Spring Court and the Mortal Lands. Rhysand almost destroyed the entire Summer Court with his bare hands if not for Cassian and Azriel, who were able to broker a deal between the two as mediators. It was a very tense time at the beginning.
Mind you, Rhysand did not leave without letting Tarquin know that it would be years before they would return to the same trade, diplomatic and friendly relations as before, if they could ever speak of forgiveness. Azriel remembered how the only person from the Night Court who could cross Tarquin's lands, for a time, was Mor. They were all warned and the meetings of the high lords were suspended, at least with respect to attendance.
For that reason, Rhysand became extremely wary of anyone connected with the Summer Court and for him, being the high lord, it was not too much work to know who wandered near his lands. They had already captured a handful of Summer Court spies in recent years and held them captive in camp with the Ilyrian soldiers.
Of course, the Night Court was much more careful with their spying, having Shadowsinger himself on their side. Azriel had visited the Summer Court a couple of times by stealth, handing Rhysand reports and any strategic breakthroughs he could decipher.
There was one, however, that they could not foresee. Someone Azriel never knew was coming out of the Summer Court. It had been a couple of years since then and it seemed the Ilyrians had been unable to break the spy's stone will.
“Are you going all the way to the mountain?” Rhysand had stopped in front of Azriel as soon as his feet touched the grassy ground, a few feet from the entrance to the camp. His eyes flicked briefly to the bustle behind his high lord, his shoulders tensing unconsciously as he took slow steps towards Rhysand with his hands in the pockets of his tunic and his wings tucked neatly behind his back. Cassian landed behind him, kicking up a layer of wet grass and mud that soiled his boots.
“Argh.”
“I think I'll be at a distance this time.”
Rhysand nodded, with no intention of convincing Azriel to accompany him to give the imprisoned spies of the Summer a death scare.
“I hope the screams are worth this mudslinging,” Cassian spoke up, moving closer to his two friends, forming a small circle. Rhysand barely gave him a glance before turning on his heels and beginning to make his way to the entrance of the camp, where some of the soldiers were clustered to see the high lord. “You're going to be in the bay?”
“Yes,” Azriel walked alongside Cassian, scowling at the entrance through which Rhysand had just crossed, the Ilyrian soldiers freezing in front of their high lord. “I'll watch from afar. Right now I don't have the stomach for anything.”
“I understand, brother,” Cassian squeezed his shoulder again amicably, sending him a tight-lipped look. Cassian was quite good with words, despite many labeling him as insensitive for being Ilyrian, but he knew Azriel well enough to know when he wanted to talk about something and when he preferred not to. “See you then.”
Cassian followed in Rhysand's footsteps, approaching in long strides, while Azriel paused watching his companions disappear into the distance.
Sighing, the knot in his chest tightened. It was so strange to have a void that could feel so many things. Azriel often wondered how it was possible that he still didn't feel the bond, when his emotions had expanded out of his head and there was no longer a feeling he didn't sense inside his bones.
Flapping his wings to take flight, Azriel set off towards the bay, close to the cliff where Rhysand planned to take the Summer Court spies. He was a few yards away, close enough to make out figures, but not too far away that he couldn't hear the screams.
As soon as his feet touched the ground, damp despite the early rising sun, his shadows began to stir around him, restless. They must've sensed his nervousness, the anxiety that ran through his chest like electric currents to his fingertips, causing him to spasm and break out in a cold sweat. Azriel could barely see them moving around him, separating from his body and stirring on the ground just a few centimeters before turning back.
At the top of the cliff he could already make out the figures of Rhysand and Cassian, walking menacingly towards the inmates, leaving them no choice but to keep walking backwards until they fell into the void, where Cassian would then land them, one by one. Azriel could hear them if he wanted to, but his mind and his shadows kept him a bit distracted.
He barely made out the first screams and the sound of Cassian's wings when his shadows began to whisper, much more restless.
Close.
Close.
Help.
Fear.
Help.
Azriel raised his head and his eyes stopped just short of Rhysand's figure in front of about three spies. At that moment, Azriel's shadows took off, moving at great speed across the grass and stones, with the Shadowsinger unable to do anything to stop them, though he tried. His confused gaze swept over the small figures on the cliff, with such speed that his head was beginning to ache, but he couldn't recognize anything.
He was about to fly in the direction his shadows had gone, when a strange, overwhelming sensation, somewhere between irrational fear and deep sadness, sent his back to the ground moving across his chest, as one of the figures slipped and fell into the void. Azriel felt all the air stolen from his lungs, opening his mouth to try to catch his breath, as those sensations coursed through his entire body and settled in his chest, taking strong root as if they belonged there. They were so overwhelming that they caused him physical pain. The ache he must've been feeling for months.
The bond.
The few remaining shadows beside him whispered endlessly.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Azriel raised his head, breathing hard. He felt his chest split open, as if with great force they were breaking his sternum to pull out his heart. It was such an overwhelming and painful sensation that, but for his strong will, he would surely have lost consciousness.
Help.
Help.
Mate.
Mate.
Azriel thought afterwards that he had never moved so fast or with such force as that moment, when he realized what was happening. The adrenaline that coursed through his body, even feeling electric currents run through him from head to toe from the precise moment he felt the bond, didn't allow him to think too much about how the air hurt his eyes because he already knew exactly where he had to go. He had spent so much time flying without direction, walking the wrong paths and searching in empty places. At that moment, when he had a reason and a direction, Azriel couldn't think of anything else. He didn't want to.
He could only look at the figure falling off the cliff from the moment he raised his head. He could only head blindly towards it. The overwhelming fear that threw him backwards was the fear she felt as under her feet she felt the void, her hands moving forward trying to hold on to something that would allow her to live.
Azriel felt like he was about to die with her.
He met Cassian halfway from afar, who seemed to be about to fly in her direction to catch her when he ran into his friend, but Azriel moved too quickly and with anticipation without losing sight of his mate. The chill that ran through his body could've paralyzed him with fear, but how could he stand by and do nothing when his mate was falling to her undisputed death.
He thought he heard Rhysand's scream. Surely it was so, but in his mind there hovered only the thought that he must reach her, he must get there in time. Her hands were outstretched and Azriel stretched out his hands, hoping that would help him move faster.
Mind blank, Azriel felt like he had just pulled his head out of the water, his chest opening in an unfamiliar thrill as his body felt the warmth of his mate's body crashing against him and his arms wrapped around her in a promise to never let go again. His wings wrapped around her immediately after his arms, impacting a few seconds later against the muddy ground.
He was too close to not catch her. The thought left him breathless.
For a moment, he only heard his and her labored breathing, with the whistling of the wind through the trees and the movement of the water of a stream a few feet away. For a moment, Azriel went completely blank. Whether he was there or dreaming, he didn't know.
His hands clamped tightly around her arms, encircling her entire back, feeling the reality of what had happened sink in on him bit by bit. Fear gripped him once more then, considering that there was a chance he hadn't been there to stop that. To prevent it.
He didn't want to move. Still adrenaline coursed through his body and he was so alert that he could clearly hear the voices of his friends in the distance. Seconds later, when he heard their wings, he finally moved.
Azriel met your eyes and with that look alone he knew you had felt the bond as well.
“I'm sorry,” was all Azriel could think of, his eyes crystallizing, voice breaking. “I'm so sorry.”
You were transfixed. Azriel felt you looking at him with fear and that motivated him to move away from your body, but you gripped his arms tightly to hold him in place.
Azriel felt a great heaviness in his chest as he examined your face and what he saw did not please him at all. Guilt swelled on his shoulders, a great weight that ascended with each passing second and he could hardly imagine all that you had had to go through in that camp. You were right under his nose and he couldn't find you. What kind of a partner was he to let all that happen?
When he heard the footsteps of his friends, his shoulders tensed. But it didn't go unnoticed the way you also became aware of their presence and let go of his arms, rushing to hug yourself as you moved to sit behind Azriel. scared. Still breathing rapidly, Azriel sent a warning look. Cassian and Rhysand stopped a short distance away, noticing the obvious hostility emanating from their friend's body, but Rhysand just stopped for a second.
“Azriel, what the fuck?”
Rhysand was so angry that he seemed to have a little red tinge over his face. Good, he was angry, maybe then Azriel wouldn't feel so bad about breaking his face.
“Rhys,” Cassian frowned, quickly picking up on the tense and hostile atmosphere around him. He grabbed the arm of his high lord, who jerked angrily and turned his gaze back to the Shadowsinger.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you aware of what you just fucking did?”
“Rhysand,” Cassian stopped his high lord, raising his voice and holding his arm tightly this time.
Rhysand turned to look at him with a frown and it seemed that, through his mind, Cassian spoke to him. The next time Rhysand looked back at him, his expression was unclenching, but Azriel stood stone-faced in front of you, his hands clasped at his sides and ready to face anything.
“No way,” was all Rhysand muttered, moving to run his hands through his hair.
Azriel felt one of your hands on his back, his senses splitting in half to try and attend to you as he kept an eye on his brothers on the other side. He moved his head to look at you, your frightened expression trying to hide you from Cassian's curious eyes.
“Is this real?”
Azriel felt his heart crumple. Tears welled behind his eyes and burning hurted the back of his throat. He wanted to say so many things, apologize for a million other things, but in that moment he only responded, moving to squeeze your hand:
“It's real.”
the house (2)
hi guys! i felt so inspired that i was able to write part 2 soon and that's a very rare thing for me. thank you so much for all your comments and notes! they made me very happy. see you in the next one!
summary: Azriel wasn't gonna give in so easily with Rhysand, but he had to do everything he could to ensure his mate's well-being pairing: azriel x f!reader words: +3.5k warnings: bad words and fights and angst and a lot of anger. also English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes!
part 1: the cliff
part 3: the court
part 4: the routine
“... what the fuck is wrong with me? No, what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Az, I had no idea-”
“What does that fucking power works for if you're not gonna use it right?”
Cassian stood back from the commotion, with Nesta and Mor on either side of him watching from head to head as words crossed. Azriel was raising his voice and snarling at his own High Lord, and Cassian was almost surprised to see the way Rhys only dropped his shoulders, looking at his brother with sunken eyes as he claimed him. He had no intention of defending himself, Cassian could almost feel how embarrassed and remorseful Rhys was from a distance.
Azriel had a right to be angry, everyone knew that. And no one would stand in the way (unless the situation turned violent) because they understood the lengths you could go to just to safeguard your mate's well-being. Rhys would do it for Feyre. Cassian would do it for Nesta. Cassian always believed that this was how he would see Azriel defend his mate, right when he found her, and he was grateful that Rhys understood that his cries came from beyond rage and anger. There was anguish there, pain, guilt… Cassian had never seen Azriel so upset.
Returning to the Town House was torturous. Azriel wouldn't leave his mate's side and wouldn't allow any of his brothers to get close either, but she wasn't willing to go to a place she didn't know at all either, even if her mate accompanied her. Cassian had to watch his friend be more cautious and careful than ever with someone he never thought he had to be: with himself and Rhys. The sight was bleak as Azriel's shadows swirled around him and his mate, almost as if erecting a wall between the four of them. The looks Azriel sent them were like daggers and just by sharing a glance they knew that this was something the Shadowsinger wasn't going to overcome out of thin air, even if hundreds of years of friendship gave him the confidence to do so.
Azriel had to make a promise with her to convince her to leave, because he wasn't willing to let her disappear from his sight and she wasn't willing to just go with them for the sake of it, when one of the men in front of her was the one who pushed her off the cliff.
Cassian noticed several times Azriel watching the tattoo with crystallized eyes. Beyond everything, the hostile and distrustful context of the whole situation caused him pain.
Arriving at the Town House, they were all assembled. Without wondering too much without Rhys having spoken to Feyre (which he surely had), Cassian ran into the kitchen where Nesta was with her sisters and enveloped his mate in a tight embrace. Within seconds he heard movement around him and knew Rhys had done the same. Neither of them would ever be able to forgive each other for what had happened, if Azriel ever forgave them first.
“Az, I'm truly sorry,” Rhys stood behind his desk, the only thing that allowed him distance from a heated Azriel, besides Feyre's presence which the Shadowsinger respected even within his rage. “I was careless with the inmates. And you're right, it was easier for me to have simply looked inside her head. It had been a long time coming and I think I became confident of the reality of the situation, that whenever I saw inside them I knew what they were. I didn't give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry, brother.”
“Your apologies are worthless,” Azriel spat, his face almost red from the way he was trying to contain his emotions and his hands resting on the table. Rhys lowered his head in front of him, running his hands over his face. “How are you going to fix with your words what for years broke under your nose? How can I come to look at you with respect when my mate is terrified to see you?”
Cassian felt Nesta's hands wrap around his right arm and he lowered to look at her questioningly. She had reserved her comments from the moment Cassian had told the two sisters what had happened. Feyre had escorted Rhys to his office after their effusive hug and Cassian had stayed with Nesta and Elain in the kitchen, talking. With Elain it had been a little easier, her face looked mortified and she had run after Rhys and Feyre barely understood what had happened.
Nesta… she tried not to show what she was thinking, but Cassian knew there was something that made her feel upset and insecure.
Cassian tugged at the bond, trying to get her attention and Nesta had to drag her gaze from Azriel to look at her mate. Cassian felt the air rush out of his chest when he noticed the tears under her eyes. He didn't waste a second in leading her out of the room, moving into the giant living room in complete darkness, despite it being barely noon. The maroon curtains lent a more somber look to the situation.
“What's wrong?”
Nesta closed her eyes as Cassian's hands cradled her face, letting out a pair of tears that furrowed the border with her cheeks. A ragged breath left her and Cassian felt the agony of her nervousness shake his body.
“I had already seen her,” she whispered, her eyelids tightening. Cassian frowned, but didn't interrupt her when she came up for air again. “I once accompanied Rhysand and Feyre to the camp. Feyre had told me that Rhysand had some business to take care of on the mountain. I heard… I heard her voice…”
Cassian pulled his mate closer by the shoulders, pressing her against his chest as her voice broke off.
“I heard her voice begging Rhysand to believe her,” Nesta continued, trying to still the sobs that were born in the ache in her chest. Cassian shared the sentiment, the end of the bond in his chest twisting with his mate's wailing. “She was so scared…”
Nesta wrapped her arms around Cassian's torso, sinking her face into her mate's neck. Cassian moved from side to side, trying to send warm sensations through the bond, trying to calm her down a bit.
Nesta's revelation left Cassian almost frozen. The last time Rhys had gone to the mountain had been ten years ago.
-
Azriel hadn't expected that to be the way he would meet his mate, much less would he have expected her to be terrified to be around his brothers and almost himself and, of course, much, much less had he expected to hold so much resentment against Rhysand.
His mate hadn't left the room Azriel had left her in, as far away from the others' rooms as possible. With the tattoo burning his skin, Azriel had not only promised her that she would be safe in the Town House, but she had also made him promise that her interactions with his brothers would be next to none. With the watchful eyes of his friends from centuries ago upon his back, Azriel agreed. He had to make sure to provide for his mate's physical and mental health, especially when he knew that the time she had spent with the Ilyrian soldiers had to have been traumatizing.
And of course, there was also the issue of the bond.
His mate couldn't or didn't know how to control the flow of emotions that traveled through the bond and Azriel felt it all. At the moment she was relaxed, calm inside the room away from everyone, but Azriel was losing his temper in the living room. His friends were gone, they had left him a moment alone when he had finished yelling at Rhysand, as he tried to control his emotions and those of her mate, who had surely been listening to everything and so was sending distressing sensations through the bond.
But even with all that space to himself he still felt like he couldn't breathe.
He didn't know how things were going to be from now on. The mere thought terrified him to the bone. He didn't know how he would deal with the fact that he wanted and was dying to be near his mate, to hold her, to comfort her, to support her, to protect her just a step away from him, but he couldn't, at least for now. The need consumed him and tormented him. Staying behind had never been an option, especially if it was his mate, but what could he do if that was what she wanted? He would have to get used to the pain, the emptiness he already felt in his life even though it had barely been half a day since he had found her.
Ah, Azriel didn't know how much guilt and pain he could carry until his knees failed.
He closed his eyes for a couple of minutes, laying his head back on the couch, his face settled in the direction of the ceiling. He tried to relax his muscles, stiff from the tension and stress, from the speed with which everything had happened in the last few hours. Maybe then he could get some sleep. He didn't know how it would be now that he had found his mate.
Azriel was beginning to feel his body going numb, the inattention to his senses and the lightness of his limbs, when a pair of light footsteps entered the room. They would've gone unnoticed by anyone, but not him. He lifted his head attending to the sound, finding you on your feet, frozen, all around the entrance to the living room, hands clasped together twitching in nervousness.
Azriel didn't know what to do. His heart skipped a beat at the sight. But he also felt the fear and nervousness coursing through the bond from the other end. He tried to send calm through his end, hoping that and the shadows crowding at her feet, which hadn't left her since they found her, would allow her to relax a bit.
“I'm sorry… for interrupting,” you looked down and Azriel had to stifle the urge that went through his body to get up and go running to your side. His head filled with the memories of his dream, cruelly comparing the happiness that was in them and the sadness that now engulfed you. Your voice was barely a whisper.
“It's okay,” Azriel stood up carefully and quietly, catching your attention. From the way you brought your hands to your chest, still clasped together, Azriel made no attempt to move closer.
“I need to ask you something,” you fought with the words until you finally told him and a current of panic ran through the bond, so strong that Azriel had to hold back the grimace on his face.
“Whatever you need.”
You looked at him again and Azriel felt something in his chest blossom. He sent that feeling through the bond, hoping it would counteract the anxiety on your end, but only received a frown in response.
“I need to contact my parents,” you asked, shifting your feet a little closer and Azriel quickly caught the pleading expression you were trying poorly to hide.
“Sure. Where are they? I can take them a letter, if you want,” Azriel offered, but your reply wasn't welcome as a spasm of pain ran through his chest.
“No… I-I-I don't want that,” you shook your head, lowering your head. The way you moved your intertwined fingers made him question how much courage you'd had to muster to come out of your room and ask him that. You must've wanted it badly. Surely it was all you could think about for all the years you were on the mountain. Azriel moved his hand from side to side across his chest, through the fabrics of his clothing.
“We'll do what you want, then. Tell me where they are.”
“Adriata,” you whispered, eyes glittering.
Azriel choked. Of course, former prisoner of the Summer Court. How would he get across the border if he had a blood ruby in his desk drawer? Rhysand and he were still mortal enemies of the Summer Court.
“And how do you want to contact them?”
“I want to go back.”
“What?” he coughed, his body tensing and the calm evaporating from his body in a second. Surprise narrowly prevented him from noticing your crystallized eyes.
“Azriel,” you implored, taking long strides towards him, frozen in place, electricity coursing through his veins from the way you said his name. “I don't even know how long it's been since I last saw them. Please, please. That was all I've ever wanted since I was captured. I just want to see them and let them know I'm okay. Please.”
Azriel stood there on his feet in front of you, barely acknowledging the fact that you had moved so close to him that from just raising a hand he could run down your cheeks. Your request had torn at his chest and he was sure he hadn't been able to keep some of that emotion from traveling through the bond, because now you looked more disgruntled and nervous than before. Now you wanted to… leave? And you were asking him to let you do it, as if he had any right to keep you here, as if you owed him anything?
The Shadowsinger clasped his hands at his sides, trying to contain his emotions behind the line, trying to keep them from affecting you too much. He had never felt such pain, not even something he could imagine, nothing that had ever hurt him before could compare to the pain of that moment. He hadn't had a moment with her and he had to let her go already.
“You want to go back… to Summer Court,” Azriel murmured, trying to confirm the obvious, as if you repeating it made it more real, as if he needed it to be sure.
“Yes,” you shook your head in assent and Azriel's heart crinkled as he noticed your desperation. Of course that would be the first thing you would want to do, how could he have been so selfish as to not even consider it before? How could he not have suggested it from before?
“You… I don't… I mean-”
“Azriel,” you took another step, hesitant, he could tell by your body language, but trying to keep the assurance on your face. “I need to see them. Please.”
“All right. Just… wait,” Azriel moved to the side, trying to clear his mind and think rationally even though your closeness was suffocating him. “There's something you should know.”
“I know the Night Court and the Summer Court aren't on good terms,” you shook your head, as if to tell Azriel that it was a silly problem that should have no bearing on your return.
“Yes, but that's not all,” moving his hands away from his already sufficiently tousled hair, Azriel looked at you in anguish. “If you go back to Summer Court now, I don't think you'll be able to come back again.”
You frowned at him, tilting your head in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Rhysand has held the Summer spies captive for…. many, many years. Tarquin has tried to negotiate their release, but Rhysand is not open to negotiating with him, or even seeing him again,” Azriel tried to explain, not overlooking the way you flinched when he mentioned the high lord's name. “If you leave now… If your parents declared you missing… Tarquin's not going to let you go out again. And they won't let me in either because the moment they see me they'll try to kill me.”
The silence that followed his words was agonizing. Azriel was terribly frightened. It didn't calm him to know that the doubt in your eyes was minimal; the desire to see your parents again was greater than the possibility of never seeing your mate again. The mere thought made him shudder, but if that was the case, there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing.
“Why… why wouldn't my High Lord let me come back?”
“Fifteen years ago the high lord forbade his people to return to the Night Court. Fifteen years ago no person from the Summer Court has gone beyond the mountains of Day.”
“Fifteen years?” you stammered, an expression of incredulous surprise taking over your face. “I'd been there for more than fifteen years?”
Azriel halted his movements, barely noticing how you succumbed to gravity and plopped down on the couch where he had been a couple of minutes earlier in complete stupefaction.
“Y/N, I'm really sorry-”
“I can't stay here,” you looked at him again, shaking your head in refusal and sending a current of panic through the bond. “I don't want to. I need… I need to see my parents. I want to be with them.”
Azriel shuddered at the desperation he saw in your eyes. He wasn't going to deny you that, ever. But he couldn't deny that he wanted to show resistance because, if you left right then, when would he ever see you again? They wouldn't even have time to talk about the elephant in the room, but, at the same time, it didn't seem like the most important conversation at the moment.
Azriel wanted to cry.
“It's okay. Don't worry. Of course you'll go see them,” he finally spoke, facing the reality he would have to live in from now on.
“Thank you,” you cried and Azriel felt each tear pierce his heart, even though the feeling of relief reached all the way to his chest, your relief, mixed with his hopelessness. “But, you… you won't be able to go.”
“No.”
“We won't be able to see each other.”
“No,” Azriel exhaled sharply and shook his head slightly. “But I'll work it out. Somehow.”
“You can't go near there. Tarquin would hurt you!”
Azriel felt the worry reach from the other end of the bond to his chest and was a little glad to know that you at least cared about him the same way he cared about you.
“I'll make an agreement. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. I promise.”
You nodded in his direction, convinced of his words, convinced of his shaky assurance and confidence.
“And you… will you accompany me?”
You frowned when he shook his head, but quickly added, thinking he'd be mad and damned if he'd let you spend the return trip all alone after all you'd been through, “I know a faster way to travel.”
“Okay,” you nodded, calm finally ruling in your body. “So when do we leave?”
-
Everyone in the house had gathered to receive Azriel's announcement and things were breaking down just as he expected.
No one had said anything for several minutes after the Shadowsinger announced that he would be going to the Summer Court with you, to return you to where you belonged, to your true home.
“I'll do it,” Mor was the first to speak, to Azriel's right, watching him confidently. She turned to look at Rhysand, who hadn't looked up since his brother finished speaking, deep in thought with a hand on his chin. “I'll request a meeting with him.”
Cassian stirred at Azriel's left side, sweeping his gaze over everyone present. He could almost imagine what was going through his friend's head, helpless at not being able to join him, just as it must've been going through Rhysand's mind. Azriel knew the only reason his High Lord was still thinking was that. If it was risky for the Shadowsinger to go, it would be worse if it was both of them.
“I can go too,” Feyre spoke to Rhysand's right and the aforementioned raised his head in a second, beginning to shake his head in denial.
“For no reason should you ever step near that Court again,” Rhysand stood up, resting his hands on the desk and leaning towards his mate. His face contracted, contrasting with Feyre's warm gaze.
“Rhys, don't you think it's time to get this over with?” Feyre reached up to cradle his mate's face, Rhysand leaning in almost on instinct, betrayed by his senses.
“You want me to overlook so easily what he did to you?” the High Lord frowned, closing his eyes under Feyre's gentle touch.
“Not easily, Rhys. It's been fifty years.”
“You know fifty years is nothing to us,” Rhysand snorted, straightening his back.
The Shadowsinger clicked his tongue.
“It was too much for Y/N.”
No one in the room had to look twice to know that Azriel was tense, hands clasped behind his back. Rhysand turned to see him, his wary look of apology over his friend's stony expression.
“You know I didn't come here to ask your permission, Rhysand,” Azriel almost spat, dragging the words out between his teeth.
Mor shuddered beside him, following Cassian's gaze. In so many centuries, there had obviously been trouble between the Inner Circle for some time, but in this moment it felt different, deeper and more painful. The anger and rancor in Azriel's gaze was unmatched and to earn that facet of the Shadowsinger you really had to be a son of a bitch. Mor hoped she was wrong.
“It could be dangerous for you,” Rhysand warned and Azriel had to stifle a wry chuckle. The way his High Lord's features contorted gave him to understand that he had understood the twitch in his muscles all too well.
“I don't care what you think,” Azriel bellowed, clasping his hands at his sides. “I'll go with her, and since Mor offered I'd greatly appreciate it if she'd accompany us.”
Rhysand didn't respond, settling for sharing a glance with his brother, trying to reach a part of him that was minimally willing to forgive him. Azriel sensed his intrusion and angrily erected a wall of obsidian in his mind, miles away, forcibly pulling Rhysand out of his head. The aforementioned barely staggered to his feet.
“Fine, but I'd like to be kept informed of everything that happens,” Rhysand nodded looking at Mor, who barely returned the gesture and left the office to manage the meeting as soon as possible.
When the doors rattled and the room fell silent again, Rhysand looked at Azriel pleadingly.
“Az-”
“If that's all.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, Azriel turned on his heels and stormed off. Cassian followed close behind, barely sending a glance at his high lord, his brother, saying with his gaze how sorry he was that it had all happened and ended like this.