Bonten Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Y/N: I need your help. I can't tell you what it is and you can never ask me about it later, but we're gonna hurt some people.
*Bonten men holding up their keys and grabbing their glocks*
Mikey: So who's car are we taking?
Ran: *Looks over Rin's phone* Rinnyyyyy watcha starin' at?
Rindou: Nunya?
Ran: What the hell is-
Rindou: NUN YA DAMN BUSINESS, BITCH!
Sanzu: *starts laughing hysterically in the background*
Takeomi: I didn't know we worked with children...
Kokonoi: *Internally cringes* I want my brain cells back
Kakucho: *sighs while giving a disappointed dad look*
Mochizuki: *lowkey thought it was funny* Get back to work!
Mikey: I thought it was a country.
Day 1 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios
Ran: I'm just saying that you can't be sure you didn't steal my weed stash.
Sanzu: That's ridiculous, of course it wasn't me!
Ran: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Sanzu: I would remember!
Ran: Well how could you if it just erased your memory?
Sanzu: That's not how it works.
Ran: How do you know how it works?
Sanzu: Alright, knock it off! I'M interviewing YOU!
Ran: No, you said that I would be conducting the interview when I walked in here, now *dramatically slams his hands down on the table* exactly how much pot did you smoke?
Day 2 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios
Sanzu: So, what did the doctor say?
Mikey: The doctor said if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
Sanzu: *ready to hug mikey*
Mikey: Touch me and I'll shoot you right here.
Day 3 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios
Kakucho: We are going to practice ABC, which stands for Airway Breathing Circulation.
Kokonoi: *Raises hand*
Kakucho: *sighs* yes?
Kokonoi: Okay well, see, that can be a little confusing because in sales, ABC means Always Be Closing.
Sanzu: You know, since I'm number 2, I think I should be teaching this health course.
Kokonoi: Sanzu, until your druggie ass can understand the definition of "health" I suggest you, respectfully, shut the fuck up.
Sanzu: *Sliding out his katana*
Kakucho: ENOUGH!
Day 6 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios
Ran *shakes hands with child y/n*: Wow, you're so strong y/n! You're breakin' my hand!
Sanzu: *scoffs* There's no way she can be hurting you.
Ran: I- well she's got a firm grip.
Sanzu: Little girl. Come here.
*y/n face-to-face with Sanzu*
Sanzu: Shake my hand.
Y/N:...
Sanzu: C'mon kid I don't got all day.
Y/N: *gently squeezes Sanzu's hand*
Sanzu: Is that it?
Y/N:...
Sanzu: *turns to Ran* You're so fucking weak.
Takeomi and Kakucho: LANGUAGE!
Day 7 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios
Kokonoi: *Shouting* I. DECLARE. BANKRUPTCY!
Ran and Sanzu: Says who?
Kokonoi: Says, your weekly paychecks.
Ran: And here you can see the endangered Rindou in his natural habitat.
Rindou: *falls down the stairs, spilling cereal everywhere*
Ran: Natural selection is coming for this specimen.