Bonten Men - Tumblr Posts

Y/N: I need your help. I can't tell you what it is and you can never ask me about it later, but we're gonna hurt some people.

*Bonten men holding up their keys and grabbing their glocks*

Mikey: So who's car are we taking?

Day 3 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios

Kakucho: We are going to practice ABC, which stands for Airway Breathing Circulation.

Kokonoi: *Raises hand*

Kakucho: *sighs* yes?

Kokonoi: Okay well, see, that can be a little confusing because in sales, ABC means Always Be Closing.

Sanzu: You know, since I'm number 2, I think I should be teaching this health course.

Kokonoi: Sanzu, until your druggie ass can understand the definition of "health" I suggest you, respectfully, shut the fuck up.

Sanzu: *Sliding out his katana*

Kakucho: ENOUGH!

Day 4 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios

Rindou: What is that? *points at birthday banner*

Rindou: *Reading out loud* "It is your birthday. period."?

Sanzu: I'm just stating a fact

Rindou: Can you at least put an exclamation point?

Sanzu: This is more professional.

Rindou:...

Sanzu: What? It's not like Ran discovered a cure for cancer or anything!

Day 5 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios

Rindou:*Puts on his glasses as he does paperwork*

Sanzu: Hey Rindou, here's the report- *gasps* Oh my god...

Rindou: ...What?

Sanzu: Oh my god-what the hell is that on your face?

*Rindou confused as hell*: What's on my face???

Sanzu: Are you wearing a disguise or something?? You look awful!

Rindou:...

Rindou: Sanzu wtf, I'm literally just trying to see.

Day 6 of writing Bonten men in "The Office" Scenarios

Ran *shakes hands with child y/n*: Wow, you're so strong y/n! You're breakin' my hand!

Sanzu: *scoffs* There's no way she can be hurting you.

Ran: I- well she's got a firm grip.

Sanzu: Little girl. Come here.

*y/n face-to-face with Sanzu*

Sanzu: Shake my hand.

Y/N:...

Sanzu: C'mon kid I don't got all day.

Y/N: *gently squeezes Sanzu's hand*

Sanzu: Is that it?

Y/N:...

Sanzu: *turns to Ran* You're so fucking weak.

Takeomi and Kakucho: LANGUAGE!