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⚘ Brother!Billy Hargrove x f!sister reader

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

— content warnings: Season 3 spoilers, season 4 spoilers, references to death, ANGST(I cried writing this oml)

— word count: 0.8k

Inspired by: Heroes by Peter Gabriel

The world around me felt quiet as I walked away from the car, towards the quiet field. My head for once, was quiet. There were no thoughts of regret, guilt, or even anger for what happened that night at the mall.

The folded piece of paper felt weightless in my hand, though it held the heavy thoughts that have been stuck in my head for months, the months that were spent without him.

I stopped walking when I reached the headstone I dreaded seeing again.

BILLY HARGROVE

MAR 29 1967

JUL 4 1985

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

My heart felt heavy once my eyes read the headstone over, even though I had it memorized since the last time I saw it.

His funeral.

I sat down in front of the neat headstone, swiping a few leaves off the bottom of it. I looked down at the paper in my hand for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not I actually wanted to read it.

A heavy breath left my body before I decided to unfold the paper and read it, besides if death was going to come so soon why not clear my head first.

Dear Billy,

I know that you hated me, since the very day I was born you only saw me as a problem in your life. And for a really long time I felt the same way.

But I realize now that I was wrong, and I'm sorry.

But if someone told me a year ago I would be sitting at you grave and grieving over your death, I would think they were mental. Because why would I mourn you? The only thing you have ever done for is take me to school, hell sometimes you didn't even do that. You would ditch me for some hookup.

But I realize now you did so much more foe me, but I just never thought to notice.

Whenever I would do something that I knew dad would get mad about, you always somehow managed to get into bigger trouble, or start a fight with him. You made sure that I never had to deal with him, or the the things he would do if he found out.

I always thought that I would spend my entire life hating you, but what do I know? I just learned that I may die in less that 24 hours, so I just going to stop assuming I know anything thing anymore.

But the worst part about all of this is that I want to be able to not care that your gone, to keep living my life like you weren't killed by some monster from another dimension right in front of me.

I keep thinking back to that day, thinking that I should have tried to get you to change your mind about saving El, thinking that I should have been the one to have taken your place.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much as missing you. Maybe you would still be here, and everything would be right again.

But I don't have powers like El, I can't fix this, I can't go back to that day and take your spot, and I can't change what dad did to you.

I imagine that if you were still here, nothing between us would have changed. Or, maybe it would. Maybe we could have been friends, like a real brother and sister.

But your not here, and nothing can change that

I'm sorry.

I'm so so sorry Billy.

Love you shitty little sister, Y/N

I let out a heavy breath, folding the paper back into it's original form and shoving it in my pocket.

I wiped the stay tears that managed to escape my eyes before standing up to walk back to the car, but before I took a step, the sky around me turned dark.

I looked around me, everything was the same, just darker.

"Hey Y/N." It felt like I was just stabbed in the chest as I heard Billy's voice from behind me.

I slowly turned around, my eyes met with his grey eyes, the eyes that I haven't seen since he died.

Tears slowly fell down my face, the only thing I wanted to do was run up to him and give him a hug, tell him everything that I wanted to say but didn't get the chance to.

He stood there, he didn't move.

But a small smile formed on his face, and he opened his arms, he opened his arms for me.

A sob escaped my mouth, my heart felt so heavy in my chest, I didn't know what to do.

He walked towards me, and the closer he got the more my heart hurt, I just wanted to be with him. I wanted to be able to be held in my big brother's arms for the first time.

So I let him get closer, until he had me in his arms. He felt so warm as he held me tightly, I cried into his chest and wrapped my arms around him.

I was finally with my big brother again, and I never wanted it to end.

Even if it now meant that I had to join him in death.

copyright 2021 heizenka, all rights reserved. I do not allow my creations to be published of translated anywhere else so please do not repost.

⚘ Billy Hargrove x f!reader

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

— content warnings: Season 3 spoilers, blood, major character death, ANGST,

— word count: 0.6k

Inspired by: Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Billy.

He was the only thought running though my head as I ran down the broken escalator as fast as I could. My legs burned, but the pain was nothing compared to the burning I felt in my chest at the sight of his limp body on he mall floor.

There was a dark puddle surrounding him, I prayed that it was from whatever beast lay dead next to him, but I knew I couldn't lie to myself forever.

Max' cries got louder as I came closer to Billy's body, she was shaking his shoulder to get him to wake up. But it wasn't working, nothing was working.

Once I reached his body I pulled his head in to my lap, he was so cold, and he only seemed like an empty shell of who he used to be.

I started wailing so hard, my whole body hurt. I felt like I was going to throw up. I wanted to get away from everybody, out of this mall, pretend that this wasn't real, that me and Billy would lay on the hood of his car and look at the stars like we always do.

But I knew I had to stay with him, even if this was going to be goodbye forever, he deserved to have someone at his side if the time came.

When I looked at Billy, he was so pale that I could see his veins. His eyes were open slightly, and I kept staring at them, as if at any minute they might open all the way and everything would be okay.

I held his hand and said, "I love you." 

But I wanted to say so much more. I could write a novel about everything he meant to me: the small compliments he gave me every single day, the way he always noticed when I changed my hair, the way he looked at me in a crowd like we were sharing a secret. How was I supposed to get through this, I wondered, when Billy was the person who helped me through everything?

"I-I'm sorry." He barely managed to sputter out, this only made Max sob even louder, her face buries in my neck.

It felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest and they were now twisting the knife to make it hurt even more.

"It's okay," I mustered up a smile, I had to look brave for him, something he had always done for me, I owed it to him now. "We're okay." Hot tears trickled down my face as I looked at him.

His blue eyes were locked with mine. Those beautiful blue eyes that I always loved seeing, but now this may be the last time I ever see them.

He coughed once more, some of the blood getting on to my shirt, seeping through to my skin. Every drop felt like it burned against my skin, creating burns that would scar, leaving me with a reminder of this night forever.

He heaved out a heavy breath, his eyes still on mine, until they weren't.

His chest didn't rise again for another breath, and his eyes were closed. He looked like he was asleep, and that at any moment he would wake up.

But he wasn't.

He was dead.

The boy who was everything to me, was now gone, dead in my arms as I cried, hoping he would open his eyes, tell me this was some sick joke.

But he wouldn't, he would never hold me again.

Tonight on July 4th, 1985, a part of me died with the boy in my arms, the boy who I loved with all my heart.

copyright 2021 heizenka, all rights reserved. I do not allow my creations to be published of translated anywhere else so please do not repost.