Dear Billy - Tumblr Posts
it takes a monster to destroy a monster
« i think there is a part of you, buried somewhere deep, that wanted me to die that day. »
« you hated me. i hated you. but I thought that maybe… maybe we could try again. »
you wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.
you look so proud standing there with a frown and a cigarette
there’s more to life than stupid boys
Max Mayfield moodboard - California edition
tell my mom everything is ok
Billy Hargrove moodboard
I imagine that we could’ve become friends. good friends. like… like a real brother and sister.
everybody seems so far away from me
Billy Hargrove moodboard
i will come and find you
harringrove moodboard
you’re gonna carry that weight
Billy Hargrove moodboard
break things your pretty face monster
part of you you wear a mask full of rage
u already know tell my mom so far away
it hurts something bad weight
so, which one is your favourite so far?? 🤍 my personal favourite would be ‘he’s full of rage’, I think I captured and interesting vibe?
when you are alone for a moment,
pick me up, whenever you want
Harringrove moodboard - je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson
Churchgate: The Dear Billy Connection
If you missed it somehow, here's the original Churchgate post. Heads up I'm going to be re-sharing a few other people's ideas here but they will all be tagged of course.
First, let me share the last of the information I've gotten since that post. The only exclusive stuff I have is that I spoke to someone who confirmed Noah is filming in Atlanta the entirety of next week when the Church set is also filming. I talk to this person occasionally and they are very reliable.
The crux of Churchgate is that Will is going to be possessed, though I'm also down for a Vecna'ing, and Mike will be the one to snap him out of it. This is very similar to what happened to Max in the episode 'Dear Billy'. And well it turns out that that episode has insane foreshadowing for Churchgate.
DEAR BILLY:
If you remember, there was a weird easter egg where the OST when Max reads out her letter to Billy is actually named "Dear Willy". The connection to Churchgate might just be the reason behind that. Let me refer to a community post made by my friend @greenfiend who was just talking about this today.
If the church scene is a confessional, Mike might finally have to share the full truth he was talking about holding back in this scene. So will Will.
2. Mentioned in the post but both scenes would be taking place in, or right next to, a graveyard.
3. A crane has appeared on the set of the church. To perform the Max levitating stunt in Dear Billy, they used a similarly large crane to hoist her up in the air. This is the only other time they've used a crane like this to film a ST scene. Remember Sadie also wore contacts and rehearsed prior in studio to film this scene, just like what's happening with Churchgate.
4. Dear Billy introduces the idea of a demon "Spawn of Satan" haunting the Creel family. This ends up being Henry, or rather possessed!Henry (in TFS it is revealed he has been under the influence of the mindflayer just like Will).
5. Dear Billy has Hopper escape the Russian Gulag into the sanctuary of a Church where he eventually reunites with Joyce.
And finally:
6. Dear Billy is the episode famously directed by Shawn Levy, director of Season 5 Episode 6, who has hinted / told us he is directing an angsty Byler scene, and is currently on set possibly for the church.
promise me nothing.
pairings. steve harrington x fem!reader
about. steve and you cross paths, only for him to find out some bad news about you.
warnings. foul language, s4 spoilers sorta
ricky rocks. anotha one 😼🙌 also part two or nah?
“long time, no see, harrington,” you nod as you pass him before looking up and unintentionally connecting eyes with five other people at once. “and children…”
you nod again in acknowledgement, getting a good look at them all before making a move to walk away from the car they were all huddled around, but steve grabs your arm, “hey, what’s going on?”
“i don’t know what you mean.”
he rolls his eyes, still holding your bicep firmly. he tips his head toward the swarm of law enforcement in the front of a house before raising a brow, “you’re telling me this is nothing?”
“just about.”
“y/n.”
“what?”
“i think we need to talk.”
you and steve go back; way back since pre-school days, and although neither of you were ever truly close, there was a mutual understanding that you both had each other’s backs.
you both came from similar backgrounds; life set up since day one, given nice cars, lived in nice houses, and grew up in the hawkins country club aspect for loser adults trying to relive high school popularity by flaunting money.
and you were only tied more together by the strange and abnormal encounters and fights for life against the sci-fi creatures that had no faces and were covered from head to toe in slime—that eventually turned into something way bigger than the mind could fathom.
ever since the mall fire during the summer after senior year, you hadn’t seen steve or any of his nerd posse—till now.
you almost thought you were seeing things, but then again, you should have guessed that when anything remotely strange or out of the normal happened in hawkins, they’d always turn up, immediately on the case.
just never this fast.
“i think i’m dying.”
“what?”
you stood in front of steve, nancy, robin, and three of his freshman friends. their presence made you suddenly anxious and you couldn’t help but begin to talk out of your ass as you slightly paced back and forth in your parents living room.
how steve coaxed you into talking to them—you weren’t sure—but it didn’t take long and it seemed you were almost more than willing to allow them into your home by the way you so easily opened your front door and offered snacks and refreshments.
yep, you were definitely dying.
they watched you with sudden concerned and confused looks, not knowing what to say and not expecting you to throw them this type of curve ball.
“brandon,” you mumbled, your hands shaking out in front of you. “jesus, i can’t even think straight…” you place your hand on your forehead, thinking over whether or not you should ever be speaking right then. “he’s dead.”
“who’s brandon?” dustin glances around to everyone but you, afraid to make eye contact almost.
“her boyfriend,” steve whispers, speaking as if you can’t hear them. and you almost couldn’t.
“i can’t even-i don’t even know-“
“hey, hey,” steve stops you in your tracks of speaking, sitting up from the chair he previously sat in. “you don’t have to say anything right now, just breathe. sit down.”
steve liked you, a lot. like, since day one, even as kids, he couldn’t get you out of his mind.
there was just something about you. you had a good head on your shoulders, you knew what you wanted, you didn’t let anything or anyone knock you off your feet, and you didn’t need anyone to save you. he hated that fact—the fact that you didn’t need him and he hated that sometimes it seemed you weren’t anything more than acquaintance.
“sit down,” he pulled you by the arm till you were close enough for him to place a hand on your waist, carefully guiding you to the chair he was previously in, giving you a soft look. “just breathe for a moment, alright?”
everyone glanced to each other at the gesture, almost not believing it. they looked to steve now where he stood in your place, his hand stroking his chin in thought, “i think it’s time we call in your pal eddie.”
**
it seemed you were in and out of sensibility as you thought over the past 24 hours, not believing it was real. you felt crazy, not being able to keep a stable thought in your head for more than a minute before turning into an emotional mess.
steve knew you weren’t in your right mind, especially after you let eddie into your home without a second thought. he didn’t think you even processed that moment or even realized what you were doing until—
“who are you?”
something you asked twenty minutes after he had been in your home.
“i’m eddie.”
“i think i know you.”
“well i hope so since we’ve been in school together since middle school before you graduated.”
“right,” you narrowed your brows, but didn’t say anything else, not knowing what to even make of him.
you knew eddie, but he was never someone you had ever talked to or had any interactions with. you didn’t care for him; you found him obnoxious and practically repulsing when you were still in school together—but right now, by the way he was looking at you—you didn’t mind him at all.
his expression was soft and full of sympathy, like he understood what was going through your mind and why you seemed so…bipolar in emotions.
“y/n, eddie’s here to talk.”
“why?”
“because what happened to you, is exactly what happened to him.”
you still had narrowed brows as you stared at him, not knowing what to say. there was a small proportion of recognition that struck you when you stared at eddie, not nearly enough for you to trust him, nor enough for you to spill your guts out to him about how your boyfriend was practically castrated right in front of your eyes.
“you’re afraid?”
you slowly nodded your head, eyes wide, not understanding the willingness that has suddenly taken over you, “yes.”
he nods and you feel the need to continue to explain yourself.
“i can’t get that image out of my head. god, i don’t even know if it was…”
“real?”
“yeah.”
he nods again.
“you said you think you’re dying, why?” he sat right across from you on your carpeted floor, now eyeing you carefully with the same cautiousness you had in your own pupils.
“because… the things that were happening to brandon before he was fucking possessed… are happening to me.”
“what do you mean,” he starred at you strangely now, his head slightly tipping, watching you carefully just as the rest of them did.
“the bloodied noses, the nightmares, the headaches, that noise…” you cringed as you spoke, almost shying away from saying more.
“what noise?” robin was leaned forward on her knees, her eyes wide with curiosity.
“a clock.”
it seemed right as you said it, the sound echoed through the room and the lights begun to flicker till there was no light at all and the only breathing body was you.
“you’re fucking kidding me,” your head lifted toward the hallway that opened up to your living room; exactly where the noise was coming from.
this had only happened once before; the first day you had come back from college while you were throwing up in your childhood bathroom. you couldn’t figure it out, you had never been sick before—not like that, but then suddenly your world turned dark and the sound of that damned clock was one of the only things you could hear.
you got to your feet slowly, continuing to stare into the dark as the sound echoed throughout your now empty home. the sound was jarring and something about it made you want to follow it like the last time. you were losing your mind, you had to get out of there.
you turned, only for your body to match right up against an unintelligible one. one much larger than your own.
your eyes went wide immediately, feeling a scream rip through your throat as fear set in fast and your head tipped to see such a haunting face you had never seen before.
“hello, y/n,” it looked like it smiled, examining your frightened state, taking pleasure in it, as you stared back in a paralyzed state. “your time is running thin,” it took a step forward, closer and closer. “you will soon be mine.”
you back peddle, fast, not thinking, not processing, but soon landing on your ass and back into the light where you sat in the same place before but with a pair of hands on your face, with voices yelling and screaming you back to conscious.
you were in shock, your limbs were numb and you could barely keep yourself up in a sitting position. you were breathing hard like you had been holding your breath for the past minute, practically dry heaving, feeling your stomach fold up into itself in terror.
“what happened?” steve’s face was the only thing your could see as his hands clasped your face hard, his nose practically touching yours as he stared at you wide-eyed, dipped in fear.
you stared back, feeling every nerve slowly come back to life within your body—drawing out into a painful process. your body begun to shake, tears flooding into the corners of your eyes as you couldn’t even begin to process the switch between realities.
“steve, get out of her face, she’s going to throw up!” robin was yanking at his shoulder despite his constant persistence, clinging to your body.
“are you okay?”
everyone stood around you, wide eyes, wide with fear, wide with concern.
“are you okay?”
“what happened?”
**
“i was here, and then i wasn’t, but it’s like nothing changed other than you all being gone,” you stood now, guiding them all through the process of your episode, now that you could finally process what had just happened. “it was that sound, that fucking clock sound, and i turned and it was something, like something you’d see out of a fucking movie, like the weird alien-monster things we’ve seen before. i don’t know—”
“vecna.”
“what?”
“she saw vecna,” dustin looks between everyone who all have seemed to agree with this consolation.
“will someone please translate what he just said?”
“vecna,” steve repeated, glancing up to you from the sudden heavy gloom laid upon him. “he’s the reason everyone’s been dying lately, you see him, you’re in an automatic death sentence… but you already knew that…”
you starred at him in disbelief, your eyes switching between each teen that sat on your couch, as if asking whether that was true or not, but they all avoided eye contact--which spoke louder than words.
“you’re fucking with me,” you scoffed, turning on your heal and beginning to pace. “of fucking course.”
“you don’t seemed so… terrified about this anymore,” max is quick to elbow lucas in the ribs who winces.
you ignore it, suddenly annoyed at the swift depressive mood change, “how do we kill this motherfucker?”
**
“you’re not giving up on me, are you steve?”
“of course not.”
the two of you stood on your back porch after steve had lightly pulled you by the elbow, recommending catching some fresh air.
you don’t believe his words. he seemed tired with almost the look of sadness in his eyes. this observation causes you to frown as you tip your head, slightly coming closer to steve to look at him better, “then why does it look like you’re the one dying and not me?”
he scoffs, “y/n.” he gets taller, straightening his posture from where he was previously leaned on your railing. he turns even more serious and it makes you frown. “why didn’t you tell me?”
“what difference would it have made?”
“we could have caught it earlier.”
“and be in the same position as we are in now?”
he doesn’t say anything, but still stares at you with a look that makes your chest tighten and your skin begin to flare up in heat.
and then, “i’m sorry about brandon.”
he wasn’t. he never liked him.
“i’m sorry you had to go through that,” he takes a step closer to you, his hand now clasping your arm. “we’re going to figure this out, i promise.”
“don’t promise me anything, stevie,” your hand softly caressed his cheek, giving him a thinned lip smile before walking inside, leaving him to himself outside.
navigation.
your sister is hot!
pairings. steve harrington x fem!henderson!reader
about. steve makes his first encounter with dustin's hot sister.
warnings. foul language
ricky rocks. short fic to introduce this. i think all future fics i do with henderson!reader will be short and not following the plot of st, just fun :)
"why the fuck is my baseball bat covered in nails?"
dustin cringed at the sound of your voice echoing out past the front door where he just almost got away. steve turned to look at him, his eyebrow arching to the implication of yelling and the look on dustin's face—who had his eyes scrunched closed and his white teeth showing as the were clenched down, wincing.
"dustin!"
"who's that?" steve whispered, demanding the answer as the sound of your footfalls were also echoing through the house and closer to them.
"my sister," he sounded miserable, but defeated as he turned back around and back toward the front door where you were there to meet him, looking absolutely fuming.
steve's eyes widened, slightly taking a step back at the sight of you. you were not what he expected--i mean he didn't expect anyone because he didn't know dustin had a sister in the first place, but he also didn't expect you to be so pretty.
"dustin."
"yes?" his voice was distraught as he looked at his feet, already ready for your scolding.
"why is my baseball bat covered in nails?" you repeated the question, only this time more calm, but the anger was practically soaking your voice.
"uh, funny you should ask, actually," he giggled nervously, his pointer finger coming up as if to make a point, but he ran out of words immediately.
"project," steve finished for him fast, already being able to tell if the boy kept speaking, he'd probably be hung.
you now looked up from dustin and toward steve. you were looking at him as if you hadn't even noticed him until he started speaking. you frowned, looking at him strangely, very strangely.
"dustin," your voice was low as you were now leaned down to his ear, "why is steve harrington on our front lawn?"
"also funny that you ask."
"charity," steve says fast, once again interrupting dustin from furthering this situation into somewhere it didn't need to be. "good for the college application, you know? i'm spending the day with your brother, doing whatever he wants."
you look between the two and steve can tell by how confused you are, you won't push it further. this was very strange for you.
"yeah, whatever," your voice is still low, "just.. buy me a new fucking bat, make that apart of your charity, alright?" you turn around and walk back into the house before he can even answer.
steve is just beyond shock as dustin slowly turns around to face him, already preparing himself for the heat of questions.
"henderson, you didn't tell me you had a sister."
"yeah, for a very good reason."
“your sister’s hot.”
“hey, man, let’s not get so vulgar," dustin's hands raise as he joins steve's side and they begin to walk back toward his car. "that's my sister."
"and she plays baseball?" he exclaims, "how could you keep this from me, it's a fucking crime!”
"steve, you're a whore, i don’t know if you know that—thought i should be the first one to tell you—but that's why i didn't tell you about my sister."
"still man..!"
navigation.
⚘ Brother!Billy Hargrove x f!sister reader
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
— content warnings: Season 3 spoilers, season 4 spoilers, references to death, ANGST(I cried writing this oml)
— word count: 0.8k
Inspired by: Heroes by Peter Gabriel
The world around me felt quiet as I walked away from the car, towards the quiet field. My head for once, was quiet. There were no thoughts of regret, guilt, or even anger for what happened that night at the mall.
The folded piece of paper felt weightless in my hand, though it held the heavy thoughts that have been stuck in my head for months, the months that were spent without him.
I stopped walking when I reached the headstone I dreaded seeing again.
BILLY HARGROVE
MAR 29 1967
JUL 4 1985
GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
My heart felt heavy once my eyes read the headstone over, even though I had it memorized since the last time I saw it.
His funeral.
I sat down in front of the neat headstone, swiping a few leaves off the bottom of it. I looked down at the paper in my hand for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not I actually wanted to read it.
A heavy breath left my body before I decided to unfold the paper and read it, besides if death was going to come so soon why not clear my head first.
Dear Billy,
I know that you hated me, since the very day I was born you only saw me as a problem in your life. And for a really long time I felt the same way.
But I realize now that I was wrong, and I'm sorry.
But if someone told me a year ago I would be sitting at you grave and grieving over your death, I would think they were mental. Because why would I mourn you? The only thing you have ever done for is take me to school, hell sometimes you didn't even do that. You would ditch me for some hookup.
But I realize now you did so much more foe me, but I just never thought to notice.
Whenever I would do something that I knew dad would get mad about, you always somehow managed to get into bigger trouble, or start a fight with him. You made sure that I never had to deal with him, or the the things he would do if he found out.
I always thought that I would spend my entire life hating you, but what do I know? I just learned that I may die in less that 24 hours, so I just going to stop assuming I know anything thing anymore.
But the worst part about all of this is that I want to be able to not care that your gone, to keep living my life like you weren't killed by some monster from another dimension right in front of me.
I keep thinking back to that day, thinking that I should have tried to get you to change your mind about saving El, thinking that I should have been the one to have taken your place.
Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much as missing you. Maybe you would still be here, and everything would be right again.
But I don't have powers like El, I can't fix this, I can't go back to that day and take your spot, and I can't change what dad did to you.
I imagine that if you were still here, nothing between us would have changed. Or, maybe it would. Maybe we could have been friends, like a real brother and sister.
But your not here, and nothing can change that
I'm sorry.
I'm so so sorry Billy.
Love you shitty little sister, Y/N
I let out a heavy breath, folding the paper back into it's original form and shoving it in my pocket.
I wiped the stay tears that managed to escape my eyes before standing up to walk back to the car, but before I took a step, the sky around me turned dark.
I looked around me, everything was the same, just darker.
"Hey Y/N." It felt like I was just stabbed in the chest as I heard Billy's voice from behind me.
I slowly turned around, my eyes met with his grey eyes, the eyes that I haven't seen since he died.
Tears slowly fell down my face, the only thing I wanted to do was run up to him and give him a hug, tell him everything that I wanted to say but didn't get the chance to.
He stood there, he didn't move.
But a small smile formed on his face, and he opened his arms, he opened his arms for me.
A sob escaped my mouth, my heart felt so heavy in my chest, I didn't know what to do.
He walked towards me, and the closer he got the more my heart hurt, I just wanted to be with him. I wanted to be able to be held in my big brother's arms for the first time.
So I let him get closer, until he had me in his arms. He felt so warm as he held me tightly, I cried into his chest and wrapped my arms around him.
I was finally with my big brother again, and I never wanted it to end.
Even if it now meant that I had to join him in death.
copyright 2021 heizenka, all rights reserved. I do not allow my creations to be published of translated anywhere else so please do not repost.
⚘ Billy Hargrove x f!reader
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
— content warnings: Season 3 spoilers, blood, major character death, ANGST,
— word count: 0.6k
Inspired by: Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens
Billy.
He was the only thought running though my head as I ran down the broken escalator as fast as I could. My legs burned, but the pain was nothing compared to the burning I felt in my chest at the sight of his limp body on he mall floor.
There was a dark puddle surrounding him, I prayed that it was from whatever beast lay dead next to him, but I knew I couldn't lie to myself forever.
Max' cries got louder as I came closer to Billy's body, she was shaking his shoulder to get him to wake up. But it wasn't working, nothing was working.
Once I reached his body I pulled his head in to my lap, he was so cold, and he only seemed like an empty shell of who he used to be.
I started wailing so hard, my whole body hurt. I felt like I was going to throw up. I wanted to get away from everybody, out of this mall, pretend that this wasn't real, that me and Billy would lay on the hood of his car and look at the stars like we always do.
But I knew I had to stay with him, even if this was going to be goodbye forever, he deserved to have someone at his side if the time came.
When I looked at Billy, he was so pale that I could see his veins. His eyes were open slightly, and I kept staring at them, as if at any minute they might open all the way and everything would be okay.
I held his hand and said, "I love you."
But I wanted to say so much more. I could write a novel about everything he meant to me: the small compliments he gave me every single day, the way he always noticed when I changed my hair, the way he looked at me in a crowd like we were sharing a secret. How was I supposed to get through this, I wondered, when Billy was the person who helped me through everything?
"I-I'm sorry." He barely managed to sputter out, this only made Max sob even louder, her face buries in my neck.
It felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest and they were now twisting the knife to make it hurt even more.
"It's okay," I mustered up a smile, I had to look brave for him, something he had always done for me, I owed it to him now. "We're okay." Hot tears trickled down my face as I looked at him.
His blue eyes were locked with mine. Those beautiful blue eyes that I always loved seeing, but now this may be the last time I ever see them.
He coughed once more, some of the blood getting on to my shirt, seeping through to my skin. Every drop felt like it burned against my skin, creating burns that would scar, leaving me with a reminder of this night forever.
He heaved out a heavy breath, his eyes still on mine, until they weren't.
His chest didn't rise again for another breath, and his eyes were closed. He looked like he was asleep, and that at any moment he would wake up.
But he wasn't.
He was dead.
The boy who was everything to me, was now gone, dead in my arms as I cried, hoping he would open his eyes, tell me this was some sick joke.
But he wouldn't, he would never hold me again.
Tonight on July 4th, 1985, a part of me died with the boy in my arms, the boy who I loved with all my heart.
copyright 2021 heizenka, all rights reserved. I do not allow my creations to be published of translated anywhere else so please do not repost.
this episode felt like a punch in the guts…
imagine in season 5 steve gets possessed by vecna and he sees barb, billy, and eddie telling him he's the reason they died then they turn into nancy, max, and dustin telling him he should've died instead…