Bucky Barnes X Reader Angst - Tumblr Posts

soldier | amaranthine (1/10) | b.b.

summary: a boy and a girl went off to war. they fell in love and the devil laughed.

WARNINGS: swearing, MAJOR angst, more fluff than usual wow, heckie doo dah they kiss, blood and vomit mentions, a lot of pain, guns, needles, trains pairing: bucky barnes x reader word count: 7.5k

a/n: written for @the-omni-princess​ and their writing challenge! i really couldn’t help it, i loved bucky and this reader so much i turned it into a series. my prompt was soldier by fleurie. gif not mine. this series will have a happy ending ON GOD

amaranthine masterlist

Head in the dust, feet in the fire Labour on that midnight wire Listening for that angel choir You got nowhere to run

Sunlight filters through dust and Bucky Barnes thinks it’s too fucking sunny for a day in the trenches. His feet blister as he shifts against the wet mud wall. His stomach is hollow and he closes his eyes. Chains wrap around his bones, tying him to his mud post. Mud caked beneath his nails and a strange crackling feeling festering between his legs and his gut, Bucky Barnes tries to sleep for the first time in three days. All he can feel is the mud through his soaked uniform. Yesterday, it rained like Hell’s flames had reached earth, and beneath molding wood, Bucky had tried to keep his soldiers as warm as he could.

He can’t remember the last time he was dry.

Keep reading

my shot | amaranthine (2/10) | b.b.

summary: I’ve loved you since Austria. I think I might’ve fallen long before then. It’s when I see you that I start to recognize parts of myself I thought I’d lost.

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of war, torture and blood, fluff kinda, and angst :)  pairing: bucky barnes x reader word count: 5.9k

a/n: conceived as part 2 of a series dedicated to @the-omni-princess​. this chapter’s song title is my shot from the hamilton soundtrack. enjoy :)

amaranthine masterlist

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory When’s it gonna get me? In my sleep? Seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody?

You lean into your knees, fingers brushing over the streak of charcoal. Your name is Bucky’s print causes your heart to flutter, but the words that follow it make you hollow with dread.

Don’t read until I get back.

Keep reading

wake me up | amaranthine (4/10) | b.b.

summary: A mended heart is stronger every time it breaks.

WARNINGS: swearing, angst, fluff and tenderness, painful treatment practices, blood, tony’s a cute baby, implications of smut :^) pairing: bucky barnes x reader word count: 9.2k

a/n: written for @the-omni-princess for her writing challenge and inspired by @the-darklings​ who writes such heart-wrenching scenes concerning john and vipress (my WIFE) and also by the film marriage story. vibe song is the cover of wake me up by fleurie and tommee lee profitt.

amaranthine masterlist

So wake me up when it’s all over When I’m wiser and I’m older All this time I was finding myself And I didn’t know I was lost You wake, lurching forward as your hand flies to your breast. Cloth meets your palm and you swallow the foul taste in your mouth, sweat dappling your skin and gathering in your throat and underneath your arms and breasts. The figments of your nightmares disappear like ashes in the wind, and you try to catch your breath, your mind reeling. You don’t recall walking back to bed, nor dressing the wound on your chest.

You’d been too exhausted to do anything more but tape some gauze to your chest and settle in the chair in case Bucky needed something

Bucky.

Keep reading

Already Gone

Pairing : Bucky x gn!reader

Summary : You wake up one day to find that Bucky's gone. You don't know why, or what happened. When he comes back, you sit down to have a much needed conversation.

Warnings : angst, established relationship, lack of communication, heartbreak, hint of eating disorder, Bucky doesn't talk much, he knows it's too late

Word count : 460

A/N : Hi guys, this is the first fanfic I wrote, I know I have a lot to learn so don't hesitate to give me feedback ! English is not my first language.

'Do you still want us to be together?'

'I don't know anymore...'

The words you'd both had been dreading to hear.

Bucky had been gone for a week, this is the first words you've spoken to him since that time. Your heart broke when you said them, but you couldn't ignore this, not anymore.

'You left.'

'I needed space.'

'But you didn't tell me. How do you think it felt when I woke to find out you were gone?'

You took a breath. You didn't want this conversation to be a fight.

'You needed space, fine. You need anything, that's okay, we talk about it and we figure it out. But you have to talk to me.'

'I didn't know how to say it.'

'We're in a relationship Bucky, without communication we don't have anything!

It's okay to need space. In fact, it's good to realise when you do.

What is not okay is for you to leave in the middle of the night without saying anything. No note, no nothing.'

'I texted you I was okay.'

'Yeah, the next day. After I'd been worried sick. And all you said was not to worry. I didn't know when you'd be back, or if you'd be back. I didn't know wether I'd done something wrong.

You left without telling me. I spent the worst week because of you. My last meal was the day before you left, I haven't slept, I was at my worst, I needed you and you weren't there.'

'I know, I screwed up, I'm sorry.'

'Sorry's not enough. Not anymore. You can't hurt me and then come back with a 'sorry' and expect everything to be okay.'

'I know.'

'I don't want it to keep happening either. I never want to hurt you. I'll do better, we'll do better.'

'This is not the first time I was hurt because of you, of us. We keep hurting each other no matter how much we try not to.

I cried all the tears I have. I don't want it to keep happening.'

'I don't know that we can.'

'What can I do to make it better?'

Bucky was in tears, you could see the hurt in his eyes. He was pleading, begging you to give him another chance. But it was all too much. You knew this was going to be some of the worst pain you've ever felt, but eventually you'd both be okay. You believed that. What you didn't know was if you'd both survive hurting each other again.

'I don't know that there's anything you can do.

We've built a relationship on the fear of losing each other. I don't know that we can come back from that.

We're unhappy when we're not together. We can't spend too much time apart.

I don't have a life outside of us and that's not fair!'

'I know it doesn't mean anything anymore, but I'm sorry.'

'I'm not saying all that's on you. It's on me too.'

You couldn't do this anymore. You couldn't be an us anymore.

'I love you. More than anything in this world. I don't want to lose you.'

I know it's missing a lot. It's basically a conversation with not enough description, not enough of an understanding of what the characters are feeling. I don't know how to do that yet but when I do, I'll rewrite it.

'I love you too. I'll always love you. But I'm already gone.'

It felt so good writing this. I hope you'll like it!

Shattered Glass

ship: Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: all the angst (I’m so sorry), curse words, mentions of sex.

summary: You and Bucky have been together for three years now, you don’t understand how he could break your heart the way he did when you found in your bed, but not alone.

You sat on the edge of your bed, tears still escaping your eyes. You took in the events of your evening staring at the shattered vinyl in front of you.

_________________

You were supposed to be spending the next three days with your best friend and teammate, Natasha. The two of you planned on staying in a hotel out of town and partying till you drop. But, there was a change of plans. Nat had gotten a call from the hospital saying that her mother was going to be released. She had stage 2 breast cancer and they had said she beat it, good for her you thought.

You didn’t mind that she had to go, you understood. This is a big thing.

“Thank you so much y/n!” Nat said to you after you nodded for her to go when she hung up.

She was almost out the door when she ran back and kissed you on the forehead, “I promise to hang out with you as soon as I possibly can!”

“Oh my lord, Nat GO! Its okay!” she smiled and hugged you quick before she rushed out, slamming the door.

You laughed and started to pack your bags. You were happy for Nat, and happy you could surprise  Bucky by coming home early. Maybe get him a gift on the way.

____________________________

You had found an old thrift store and started searching for something that would remind Bucky of home, then you found the perfect thing and rushed it to the counter as quickly as you could.

Pulling up to your apartment you smiled when you saw Bucky’s car and made your way in. When you got inside it was quiet, you suspected Bucky was sleeping because whenever he was awake there was some type of noise. Whether it was that he had music on, or he was cooking, or even watching TV.

You examined Bucky’s gift, you got him a vinyl of a band from the 40’s that he would always talk about. you hummed to yourself knowing how much he would like it.

When you met Bucky you knew he was going to be the love of your life, and he is. The day was still crystal clear to you. You had joined the avengers because Fury had seen your history, since you were born you had unspeakable strength.  The team loved you! But, Bucky always kept to himself around you. Which you understood, knowing his past.

One night you had a nightmare, you got them a lot. They were mostly about the doctors who held you down and did examinations on you. Which your mother  would allow. The dream consists of you screaming for your mother as her figure walked away from you, then you would see your father sobbing uncontrollably and being held back… then shot in the head.

These doctors were Hydra.

You awoke in a cold sweat with Bucky by your side and quickly sat up.

“y/n… You’re okay..” he said holding you in his arms.

“H-Hydra.. They k-killed him.” Bucky tensed up automatically and pulled away from you.

“Hydra?” he asked hesitantly.

You explained your dream in depth to him, which once again caused you to be in his embrace. He then told you about his past with hydra, then about his family, then a silly story about him and Steve.

The two of you spent the rest of your night like that, and the night after that. The two of you became inseparable. Bucky asked you to be his a week after that night. You’ve been together for three years now.

Coming back to reality you placed your purse down on the counter and started to the bedroom.

You opened the door and tears almost automatically filled your eyes.

In your view was a peacefully sleeping Bucky Barnes… and some girl.

You must have been squeezing the gift because it shattered in your hands and fell to the floor. which caused Bucky to shoot up automatically, already a pleading look in his eyes. The girl woke up soon after him with fear in her eyes.

“get out…” you whispered looking at her. She didn’t move. Which caused your power to kick in, creating a loud echoing yell, “GET OUT!!”

The barely clothed girl got up and out the door in seconds. Then you fell to your knees, crying at the blood and glass in your hands.

Bucky ran over and helped you up, bringing you to the bathroom.

Your tears stopped when you sat on the rim of the tub as Bucky started patching up your hand.

…

“she means nothing to me…”

…

“y/n, I’m so sorry. I promise I can make this up to you.” He said through a sob when he finished bandaging you up.

He sat down on the floor in front of you, your face blank and not breaking contact with the floor.

His hands reached up to cup your cheek, which caused you to flinch and look up at him.

smack!

He leaned back holding his face, “I deserved that…”

You got up and walked out, Bucky following.

You walked back into your room and found a box and set it on the bed you called both of yours.

his faced grimaced when he saw you put a shirt of his in it,

“y/n please don’t do this.” he says already broken into much harsher tears then before.

You continue to pack and sobs break from your lips.

“y/n” Bucky says touching your shoulder. You quickly turn to him pushing away,

“Don’t to-ouch me!”

Bucky frowns and steps closer “can we please talk about this, y/n?” he says biting on his bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

“Talk about what Bucky?! The fact that you fucked a girl in our- in my bed??”

“I know, I’m so so sorry y/n. But I don’t love her I love you y/n!”

this time you allow him to grab the sides of your forearms softly.

Bucky notices that you don’t move and leans his forehead against yours.

“I loved you too” he leans back quickly to take in your face, he knows you’re lying. He knows you still love him. He also knows how you deal with heartbreak.

“No..y/n.. please don’t push me away” he says pulling you into a hug you allow, knowing its your last one.

You pull away, stepping back. You feel cold not feeling him against you,

“How long?” you whisper looking out the window

“We barely even talked this is ne-”

“HOW LONG?” you say blowing him backwards, but he kept his stance.

“A WEEK….a week.. y/n please give me a chance.” He says inching closer

“you can pack your stuff now…”

“y/n no don’t make me go… please~” he says, voice cracking.

“you can either leave now or pick it up tomorrow…”

Bucky was on his knees holding your legs, soaking your jeans with tears. you didn’t move but kept droning on about what he could do with his stuff.

He started kissing up your body making it to your face and peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

he was mumbling ‘I love you’ after every single one. He was going on about how you were his only love and that he wanted you and only you. But, you weren’t listening until one key word hit your ears which caused you to actually look at him. He noticed and continue,

“yeah, I bought a ring. I have it here with me y/n. look, I wanted to marry you and you only.” He says showing you a small velvet box. You take it from him and look at the shiny diamond ring, you smiled.

“Bucky…” he smiles and steps close to you, you place your hand on his cheek. A visible smile appeared on his face.

“I love you so much…” you step back and look at the box again, choosing your next sentence wisely.

“but.” you hand him the box and place your hands on his chest, his face drops.

“I need time. Time away from this…Time away from you.”

He goes to protest but then bows his head, “Can I still talk to you? If you’re breaking up with me right now I get it. But, I don’t want to lose you y/n.”

You smile again, tears escaping your eyes and trailing down your face. You take his hands and lead him out to the front door, he stops when he sees you’re still kicking him out.

“y/n please think about this?” He says taking your hand away from the knob.

You still open it, pulling Bucky closer to you. You gently kiss his lips then go to pull away when he pulls you back in, melting you in a strong kiss. As you’re kissing you start walking him backwards through the door. When you finally separate you step back inside your home, he then realizes he outside and tries to get back in,

“y/n wait!-”

You shut the door and slide down the wall sobbing as loud as you can, shaking the room. You can still hear him banging on the door yelling for you. Your kitchen was shaking so much a glass plate fell and shattered.

You can hear Bucky asking if you’re okay. But then you stop hearing everything.

You lay back against the wall still sobbing and screaming but you couldn’t even hear yourself. You’re world stopped.

You heard muffled sobs behind you then receding footsteps.

You were alone, you couldn’t call Nat she was probably celebrating her day with her mother.

You obviously couldn’t call Bucky for obvious reasons.

So you dragged yourself to your room, ripped the sheets off your bed and sat on it.

_________________________________________

You couldn’t believe he did this. After everything the two of you went through… and he just threw it all away.

You decided to call Steve, you knew Bucky was probably with him but you had to talk to him.

“Steve? Hey..”

“y/n?” you heard Bucky in the back asking him if that was you.

“I just wanted to call in sick for tomorrow… I’m sure you know why… I just need some time from… him” you sob through the phone.

“y/n, its okay. Take as much time as you can. You’re an Avenger, you’re strong. I’m not just saying that about your power i’m saying that you, yourself is strong.”

You laugh and thank him. You can hear Bucky pleading Steve on the other end.

“Alright I’ve got to go, I cant listen to him like that. Thank you again Steve.”

“Its not a problem I’ll see you when you feel better.”

“one more thing Steve?”

“Yes, doll?” you cringe at the nickname. Its a 40’s thing.

“Take care of him please? His nightmares have been getting better but after this…”

“I promise. I’ll make sure he stays safe for you.” You can tell that he’s restating what you’re saying so Bucky knows.

“Tell him that i’m sorry and that I will always love him but i just need space for me too?”

“y/n…” buckys voice. You must have been put on speaker.

you choke a sob out, “Goodbye.”

You instantly hang up and throw your phone at the wall, breaking it in the act.

You scrunch your nose walking over to it. You know Tony will get you a new one though.

You gather all the shattered glass around your apartment and trash it.

Falling into your naked bed you curl up into a extra blanket you have, thinking about what you’re going to do when you have to go back to work.

_______________________________________________________

Hey! sorry for the angst and tears. I almost cried writing this!

Please give me any feedback you have!

should I do a part two?

Shattered Glass part 2

Ship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: curse words, mentions of blood, a really angsty reader.

Summary: You and Bucky have been together for three years now, you don’t understand how he could break your heart the way he did when you found him in your bed, but not alone.

You slept your whole day away on the first day you took off, to forget. But, the next day you knew you had to try to lighten yourself up. Your closet was a mess, it still contained Bucky’s things.

Before dressing up for the day you shoved the rest of his clothes in the abandoned box in your room so you didn’t have to constantly look at them.

Except one; his red shirt. You loved to sleep in it, you didn’t think he’d realize it’s missing. After shoving it somewhere you go back to your closet and pull out an old black hoodie with gray fitting sweatpants to go with a blue shirt with a red star in the middle. You honestly didn’t care what you looked like.

after putting on some light make up you made your way out the door and to the mall. It was your place of healing.

You marched into the nearest store and looked through the dresses.

You wished Nat was here with you, she was the best at picking out outfits that you would enjoy. Plus, she always made you smile.

There was a lot to choose from in the dress section; red ones, black ones, and gray ones, but one caught your gaze. You felt like you were seeing red. It was a short mid thigh length blue dress with a white collar, the exact same dress you last saw your mother in last.

You quickly shook your head, deciding it was the wrong choice to leave your apartment and went home. You had work to do tomorrow. ____________________

Walking into stark industries wasn’t the hard part, the hard part was seeing everyone’s knowing glances. Tony had given you a quick hug and kiss on the head. Clint squeezed your shoulder, and Sam did the same. Wanda looked at you and read what happened in your head and then frowned. Natasha snuggled you with hugs then yelled at you for not telling her but then apologized for yelling and comforted you.

“Seriously y/n, you know that I’m always here for you. Why didn’t you call me?”

You looked towards her and smiled weakly, “Well I knew you would be with your mom so I didn’t want to interrupt your time with her…”

The look Natasha gave you looked like she was saying ‘seriously??’.  She walked closer to you, squeezing you tight again, “Honey, I’m here for you through thick and thin. Next time please call me. I promise I will get to you as fast as I possibly can.”

You hug her back, thanking her. But then you had to go to a certain captain in charge.

When you walked into Steve’s office to greet him he automatically shot up and wrapped you in a tight embrace. “Y/n, how are you?” “I’m… I’m actually okay.” You say holding a somewhat forced smile. Steve frowns, “I hate to say this but just ignore him today, if he comes and talks to you fine talk. But we have a mission.. and it’s serious.” You felt a pang in your chest. Last time Steve said there was a serious mission it was with Hydra, but, you and Bucky had stayed back. “Is it?” “Yes.” You gulp down your nervousness and nod, “If you don’t want to do this I under-” “I’m going.” “Are you sure?” Steve says touching your shoulders “Yeah, I’m sure…”

Steve hugs you one more time, planting a kiss on your cheek. “Let’s go to the meeting room I just called everyone down.”

You follow Steve into the room and sit with him waiting for everyone to come. They all filed in one by one, ending with Bucky. He opened his mouth to call for you, looking like he wanted to plead your name once again but you looked away. He lowered his gaze and sat down at the other end of the table.

Steve explained the mission thoroughly. As soon as he said Hydra Bucky’s eyes darted towards you, and yours did the same. But instead of looking for any longer you turn away once again. Steve needed your help, so you’re definitely going on this mission.

“-Sam will be with tony, Natasha will go with Bucky… y/n go with Wanda, Clint you find a high point and keep an eye on us, and I’ll go with vision, All clear?”

“Wait what?” The gruff voice rang through your ears and you looked up at him then back to Steve. “Y/n can’t-” “Alright Steve. Sounds like a great plan.” You say interrupting Bucky and getting up to get get ready. You were out in the hall and you could still overhear the arguing in the room, “Y/n and I can just stay back like last time Steve. Why are you making her do this?!” “I am not making her do anything buck! I already asked her and made sure and she was fine with it. So are you coming or not?” … You were already gone in your room before hearing Bucky’s answer. You put on your suit, which was a purple onesie like leotard. Matching with black leggings and a utility belt wrapping across your chest and around your back, like a sash. You finished your look with a mask that covered your lower half of your face, kind of like the winter soldiers. Except there was a cage like opening by your mouth for when you needed to use your power.

After getting ready you headed to the quinjet and boarded on with everyone. The only seat left was next to Bucky, which you reluctantly took. Steve was reciting the plan when Bucky leaned over and whispered to you,

“We don’t have to do this y/n”

You clench your jaw and look up at Steve, not answering him. “We can go back to the building and.. talk.” You squeeze your eyes shut, “Steve should me and Wanda try to work our way in through the roof?” You felt Bucky’s gaze on you falter. “That can work but we can use you guys on the ground.” “Alright we can do that.”

You only feel bad for ignoring Bucky for a second, but then you remember what he had done to you and bring your mind back to the problem at hand.

_______

When the jet landed everyone went into there positions as Hydra attacked.

You and Wanda were a great pair. The two of you had a signature move you’d use almost every time that would make the two of you look bad ass.

You would lift a car and throw it Into the air and she would fling it as far as she could. And You could make each other fly, she would lift you up with her powers while you could yell so loud it would fly her into the air in seconds.

The two of you were beating everything in your way. Then you got into the building and your flow dropped.

There stood Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff holding a petite blonde woman against a wall, right next to what was presumably her wheelchair. Your heart dropped when Bucky reeled his arm back to hit her.

“BUCKY!” You yelled so hard that the group flew backwards. You automatically rushed to the woman’s side and lifted her up to look at her face. She was trembling in your grasp. “Pl-please just let me go..” she said weakly You ripped off your mask and looked her in the eyes “Mom?”

“Mom?” Bucky said.  Then angrily made his way walking towards you but you gave him a warning glare and he stopped.

“Y-y/n?” She said with a relieved smile, touching your face. “My baby girl, it’s been so long..”

you started walking away from her and towards Nat.

“Running away again?” her now sweet mother like voice turned cold and gruff.

You swiftly spin around to face her again, clenching your fists.

“They shot him in the head.” You said with every syllable. “Come again?” “They. Shot. Him. In. The. Head” you say now right in front of her face “I don’t know who-” “Dad.”

The blonde woman had a confused look but then started laughing uncontrollably. You step back, staring at her in disbelief. You feel Bucky touch your shoulder, “We can just leave her here…” You look at him “So she can reek more destruction on this world?” You turn back to your mom who is now wiping away a tear.

“That douche? He didn’t understand that you were born to be a weapon. Not his daughter. So since he was against everything he just… had to go!” She says finishing with more laughter.

You pull her up by her collar gripping your gun in your holster. “Oh this isn’t funny anymore? Why did you stop laughing?” You say to her.

“Shoot me.” “What?” “Shoot me in my skull like your father was.” “No.” “No? That’s a stupid mistake.” She says spitting in your face.

You throw her to the ground bitterly and cuff her to a pipe coming from the wall, then walking back to your teammates.

“Call in a jet with a cell.”

Natasha nods and walks off grabbing her phone.

“You’re making the right decision y/n.” Bucky says grasping on to the tips of your fingers.

you squeeze his hand smiling then turn back to your mother once again.

“Do you know the pain and struggle I’ve been going through all my life because of you? You were supposed to be my mom.” you say with your voice cracking.

she grins and sits up, “Oh honey… I’ll never be your mother.”

BANG!

A shot rang through the air and your mothers blood was splattered on the wall. You quickly ran to her side then turned around to see Bucky ducked by the door looking outside for the shooter.

“son of  a BITCH!” you say standing up.

You felt your world stop when you heard another shot ring through the air. Bucky turned to you automatically, “B-bucky?” your body slowly fell to the ground

“Y/N!”  he came to your side, holding you tight.

Then you saw your teammates come to your side.

Then everything was black.

_____________________

Later on you awoke in one of Tony’s hospital beds in a panic, you shot up thinking this was Hydra and winced in pain. “Woah woah y/n it’s okay. It’s me Bruce. You got shot in the gut, lay back down.” You lazily looked over at Bruce and saw Bucky sleeping in a chair behind him. You felt your lip curl up. “Hey Bruce.” You said laying back down and smiling up at him. “Hello y/n- "What did you think you were doing out there!” Bruce was just about to tell you about your injuries but then Tony and Steve busted through the door, waking Bucky in the process. The two of them were shouting at you non-stop like two worried parents until Bucky stepped in,

“WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP SHE JUST WOKE UP!” His voice came booming through your ears, stopping your heart for a second.

Tony and Steve stared at him but then Steve frowned and walked over to you, taking your hand. “I’m sorry y/n, it’s just- ” “We were scared.” Tony says cutting in.

You went to form words but a seemingly upset Bruce stepped in, “You two cannot bust into my lab when I was about to medicate and check y/n’s wounds. Now If you want to talk to y/n you’re going to have to wait and get out of here before I go green.” You shoot the group of men a 'please go’ look and they all leave in seconds

Bruce patches you all up and then lets in the bunch again. Tony and Steve give you a father like chat about things you shouldn’t do during a mission then you went back to your room.

there stood Bucky Barnes. A tear streamed down his cheek and he looked at you like you were his everything.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

_____________________

Hey guys!

Please give me honest feedback, I’m new to reader fics and I feel like I used the word 'you’ about 500 times.I’m probably going to do a 3rd final part but please help me out by telling me what you think about this one, thank you!

Shattered Glass part 3

Ship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Not too angsty but it’s still there.

Summary: You and Bucky have been together for three years now, you don’t understand how he could break your heart the way he did when you found him in your bed, but not alone.

"Y/n, we need to talk."

You stood there staring at your ex, he was wearing your blanket around him like a cape on your bed.

He wore the shirt you first met him in, the day was a blur at this point because of how he treated you. He was cold, and stayed away from you. You later found out it was because he liked you and it was his first "crush" in a while.

Your heart warmed at the thought but then you remembered what happened.

"Bucky, I'm fine. Its just a bullet wound, I've gotten them before."  

Bucky looked at you, he was confused by why you were avoiding him.

"Y/n, although you worried me on that mission... You know what we need to talk about."  He says walking up close to you.  You had forgotten what it was like to be this close to Bucky.

You walk past him, setting down your crutches and sitting on the bed.

"There is nothing to talk about Bucky..." you say slipping off your shoes and looking up at him

He nods his head to the side and kneels in front of you, taking your hands.

"Please don't say that y/n. Don't leave me hanging..."

You let go of his hands and run yours through your hair, letting out a sigh.

"What do you want me to say Buck? What you did was damaging. The fact that I put so much of my heart to you that I bought you that gift only to come home- to our home, and you were with another girl?!"

"But I do love and care for you-"

"Obviously not, Buck! " you say wanting to stomp away but, you weren't supposed to be moving around during the healing process. So you turn your head away from him, crossing your arms.

You can hear him catch his breath from your response, "How could you think that y/n? I do love you, and I do care for you."

You feel tears in your eyes. They came by a surprise, and there is no point in hiding them because Bucky was in the same state.

"Then why did you do it?"

Bucky holds his stare with you then looks down, scratching his neck,

"You want the truth?" you nod and he continues "I was a jealous dumb ass... I thought that you didn't want to be with me and that you liked Sam. I know, it's stupid."

He glances at you then continues his story.                                                                                                                "I was drunk one night, Tony had given me a shot that would be so powerful it would make me and Steve drunk. You can ask him about it, I think it's Thor's... But back to what I'm saying, I was sitting at the bar alone and decided to take a shot of it."

You place your face in your hands, "Then what?"

Bucky chokes in a sob and goes on, "Since I was so caught in thought about you two I pretty much believed you were cheating on me."

"So this is my fault?" You say looking back up at him.

"Y/n, please just listen..."

"Fine, go on."

Bucky nods, "So I pretty much wasn't me at that point. I was care free Bucky Barnes from the 40's... Then Krissie introduced herself to me. My Heart was screaming at me not to go home with her but my mind was thinking 'Who cares, shes cheating on you anyway'"

"Bucky this story's bull shit meter is through the roof right now! Can I fix a few things from it??" You say interrupting him. He goes to protest, but then nods.

"Alright, I get it Bucky. You "weren't you" but what doesn't make sense is the whole Sam part?" Bucky isn't looking at you so you grab his chin and get in his face, "Do you fucking think that i'd cheat on you??"

The irony stings Bucky so he pushes away and stands up, "I know y/n! I said it was stupid."

"Not only is it stupid its crazy! Why didn't you talk to me?!"

"I DON'T KNOW- I don't know..."

You finally decide it's time to stand up, Bucky moves to help you in concern.

"Don't!....Don't touch me. You lost that right."

Bucky hesitantly steps away as you grab your crutches.                                                                                     He had dried tears on his cheeks. He knew how this is going to play out but he asks you anyway;

"Y/n, you don't have to answer me now... But, it was and is true that I want to marry you. So the offer still stands and always will. Even if we separate doll. You could call me up and i'll marry you in a heartbe-"

"No." You say pushing his box of clothes into his chest.

He steps backwards at your harsh answer but then his lips form a straight line and he nods,           " Just know that I will always love you y/n "

You try to keep your glare on him but then the corners of your lips wearily drag up,                           "I will too Buck.."

Without your permission he swoops you in a strong, knee weakening kiss. You hesitate at first but you know that this is the goodbye.

With a small "Goodbye y/n" Bucky exited your room. As soon as the door closed you let your self crawl into a ball on your bed, as tears streamed down your face.

________________________________________________

You and Bucky don't talk as much as usual but he still tries his best to win you over these days.

Flowers, ice cream, some really good take-out food.

He hasn't said anything about your relationship but you know how his mind works. Giving gifts is what Bucky would do when you were upset, and for the past few weeks that's all your life has been.

The night has reached its point and you were cuddled in your bed when you heard Bucky's heart shattering screams. You sighed and threw your blankets to the side, trudging your way into the hall. You saw Steve doing the same thing but you waved him off.

"Are you sure?" he mumbles to you

"Go on Stevie. Goodnight."

Steve smiles nervously and heads back to bed as you make your way into Bucky's new room.

There he was all tangled in sheets, beads of sweat drenched him.

You made your way over and sat next to him and started to rub circles on him arm lazily,

"Hey Buck, its alright." You say yawning.

Bucky started to cool down but then, catching you off guard. He pulls you tight next to him,

"Don't.. leave me tonight doll." You can feel your side aching. You knew that there was no point in leaving because Bucky had no thought on letting you go.

"Bucky my wound." You remind him

His grasp loosens and you scoot under the blankets next to him.

The two of you laid there for a few minutes before he spoke up.

"Thank you y/n"

...

You wanted to tell him that this doesn't mean any thing but you decide against it,                         "Go back to sleep Buck." you whisper to him

He hums to you and falls asleep in seconds.

__________________________________________________

The next morning you woke up glued in Bucky's arms. You had been thinking about something last night and you've made your choice.

You scooted away and out to go speak to Steve.

___________________________________________________

You were in the kitchen when Bucky's arms looped around from behind.

"Good morning doll."

You smile at him and back away.

"I'm leaving the Avengers."

"What?"

"I spoke to Steve about it. The rest of the team knows now, I packed the rest of my stuff this morning. This isn't permanent, I just want to live a normal life."

Bucky stared at you in shock.

____________________________________________________

Wowza?!

part four may be the last part guys!

Tags: @smsimoes @a-common-name @chipilerendi

sorry if i missed a tagged person! I’m new to this stuff...

When you've been ranting about Bucky Barnes for a good hour and they ask who he is:

Got any Bucky Barnes x reader requests?

Please send as much as you like!

Fire in his eyes

Bloom

Ship: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warning: none really, its angsty and fluffy sorta.

A/N: This may become a series idk it’s up to you guys?

summary: You and Bucky are office best friends and some news changes things between you two forever.

Working at the office beside Bucky was the reason you decided to go to work. You and him were best friends and were the best comedic duo in the office.

Still you wished there was more to your relationship with the fit man, but you wouldn't want your friendship to be ruined.

You sat at your desk peering intently at your computer screen when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You gazed at your fairly decorated desk and turned around to see the man himself.

Bucky had sat directly behind you at a desk of his own. Which was mostly blank. All it had was a photo of all of your coworkers together. You sat closely in his arms laughing about something he said. It was your favorite picture.

"Doll? Earth to y/n?"

You snapped out of your trance and smiled up at him. "Sorry B, just have a lot on my mind right now. Tony has been stacking more work on me than before."

Bucky frowned and held his hand out nodding for you to follow him. The two of you have been working together for two months now. That's a small amount of time for the friendship to bloom but you would never want anyone else to be called your best friend.

You walked down and into the break room and Bucky sat you down in a discarded chair.

"I think you need a break darlin'. How bout' I take you out for lunch?" He says sitting across from you, taking hold of one of your hands.

You look at him and smile but then quickly shake your head. "I can't, I have a deadline."

He shushes you and helps you up, holding you elbows. "I'll go speak to Tony, okay? Go grab your coat and wait by the door."

You hesitate for a moment and give in to his mission.

Waiting by the door you can hear Bucky talk smoothly to Tony about how you were stressing out and needed a half an hour to take a breather. Tony sighed and agreed and you smiled to yourself.

Bucky comes out of the room giving you a thumbs up and you. Grin widely once more, you feel your cheeks starting to hurt because of how much this man makes you smile.

Bucky had taken you to your usual cafe that the two of you would always join each other at.

But as soon as you stepped in Bucky stopped cold in his tracks. "Buck? Is everything alright?"

He quickly masked a smile and walked you over to a beautiful woman who had just finished buying her coffee. She turned around and squealed, causing most of the patrons on the shop to cringe at the high pitched noise, including yourself. "James!" She wrapped herself around him and kissed him on the cheek.

Then after almost devouring Bucky she finally notices you and fakes a smile, giving Bucky a confused look.

"Darling who's this?" She says almost sourly

"I could say the same!" You say giggling in the same tone.

"Oh of course! Uh Trisha this is y/n, my... co-worker. Y/n this is Trisha.. she is my fiancé." He says almost deadpanned and hesitant.

You feel your heart pang and you shoot at wide eyed glance at Bucky before holding your hand out to shake Trisha's.

"It's very nice to finally meet you Trisha! I've heard sooo much about you!" You say nearly sarcastically.

"Aw that's so sweet! It's nice to meet you too, sweetie. I've got to get to work. Love you James! Bye!"

And she's gone.

Bucky stands there looking like a dog who's done something bad and is waiting to be called out about it. "You know, I think I feel better now. I'm ready to go back to the office."

"Doll..."

"I'm ready to go, Buck. I'll meet you in the car."

You stomp out and wipe a stray tear before entering the car.

Bucky enters a few moments after, starting the car and driving back to the building.

"Y/n please-" "Did you think that if you didn't tell me that everything would be fine and dandy and that we could just pretend that you didn't have a soon to be wife?"

"That's not-" "Then what was it, James."

The sound of his name stings his ears and he pulls over. "Don't call me that, Doll please." You look out the window so he can't see your eyes watering up. He turns your head towards him to you can see him. He stares at you and then lets go of your cheek and looks out the front window. "Can I explain now?"

You nod for a sec but he isn't looking so you sigh and agree.

"I don't usually share my personal life with co-workers. I keep everything clean and quiet" You go to open your mouth but he shoots a "let me finish" look.

"When I met you I didn't know what to do. Because honestly doll, you're the best thing that's in my life right now. I was hoping on telling you soon."

"But you didn't." He looks back towards you like an arrow had just been shot through his chest.

"I didn't want to hurt what we have, you're my best friend."

Now it's your turn to look like you've been shot as well. Best friend.

"Take me back to the office please."

"Y/n-" "Take me back."

The car started up again and the drive back to the office was silent.

When you returned you finished all your work and ignored Bucky for the rest of the day.

Wishing Tony a good night you quickly grabbed your things and headed for the door.

You were almost to your car when a strong grip landed on your elbow once more.

You turned around to face the figure and saw Bucky. His lips were red and his hair was a mess. Which meant he kept on running his fingers through it and biting his lips as well. It was a nervous habit he's been doing for a while now.

He took hold of your other elbow and pulled you close, but not too close.

"Bucky please just let me go home." He searched your face for words. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met." You froze in his arms and stared up at him, before turning away.

"Please...James..." He hisses at his name and lets go of your arm.

"Doll I said don't call me that. It reminds me of her."

You go to go back in your car when he puts his hand in yours. His eyes burned with love and lust, making you weak in your knees. "Doll I want to break my tie with her."

You tilt your head and go to speak up. "Because I love you with all my heart." You feel your cheeks burning and you place your hand on your car door handle and pop it open.

He looks at you like a puppy watching its owner leave. You swear he was a dog in his past life. You hesitate for a moment and let out the air you realized you were holding in. "I'll see you tomorrow B."

He steps away from the car, letting his shoulders deflate.

You get in your car and look at him for a moment giving a small sad, but warm smile.

Then you drive off

"What have I gotten myself into?"