Cassian X Reader - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

An idea for the text threads: what if the other forgot an important date (anniversary, birthday, graduation or smth)?

acotar men x reader, forgetting your anniversary

summary: they forgot your anniversary

warnings: very light angst

amara’s note: i just couldn’t include the girls, i’m sorry but i can’t imagine them ever forgetting and i love them too much for angst. and i folded for eris, sorry:(

HEY

So, I haven't been writing at all, or updating. And I apologize for that! I have just been in a place of depression, and just haven't felt great all together. But! I'm feeling a little bit like me, and I can start writing and updating! But I've also started thinking of writing oneshots about book characters to get me back in the writing spirit. The book characters include:

Rhysand

Azriel

Cassian

Eris Vanserra

Lucien

Helion

Feyre Archeron

Nesta Archeron

Mor

Aaron Warner

Kenji Kishimoto

Dante Russo

Kai Young

Christian Harper

Rhys Larsen

Alex Volkov

Percy Jackson

Luke Castellan

Xaden Riorson

Jacks, Prince of Hearts

Grayson Hawthorne

Jameson Hawthorne

Draco Malfoy

Peeta Mellark

Cardan Greenbriar

And many more! So... What do you think? I will be starting with Azriel first! Just because, why not?

REQUESTS

I put up the board for my requests, you all should see it on my page. So for anyone who wants to request anyone from the list you can tell me and I’ll deliver! It just might take me a while to get into my writing again.

Cooking with love - A Cassian X reader story

You heard the door open but didn't look away from the pile of papers scattered on the dining room table. You had recently come back from visiting your family in the Summer Court when Rhysand requested your presence at his townhouse. He needed a house to be built. A gift for Feyre. A home that would house his mate and his newborn son Nyx. Hopefully, become a home to any other children they may decide to have together. Those words went unspoken but the both of us heard it loud and clear. That was why you were hunched over the dining table that was pushed up against the window, trying to make Rhysand's dreams into reality.

"An architects dream is an engineers nightmare," you muttered under your breath. "Cauldron Rhysand" you continued, "this is structurally impossible to accomplish. Thank the cauldron you came to your Head Engineer to build you your house. Maybe I can knock some sense into you with a brick whilst I'm at it". You shook your head and let out an exasperated breath.

You heard a deep, rasping chuckle just behind your ear. The sound made your skin prickle and tingle with warmth, but didn't quite curb the irritation you felt towards your High Lord.

"What's Rhysand done now?", Cassian laughed in your ear as he banded his arms around you to hold you against his warm body. His chest pressed up against your back whilst his chin gently rested on the top of your head. He tucked his head in, the tip of his nose grazing your hair to drop a single kiss to your head. He took a deep breath in, your floral scent calming his soul and turned his head to the left to lay his cheek on top of your head.

You hummed and enjoyed the feeling of his secure arms. He was feared and revered by the people of the Night Court. Earning his title of the Lord of Bloodshed whilst he fought battles as a young Illyrian warrior alongside his two brothers. He had become hardened, both mentally and physically, from a young age to withstand all kinds of evil this world harboured. Yet, this fearsome and frightening warrior had a warmth inside him that drew you in. A steady ember that glowed brighter than his Siphons. A glow that was powered by friendship, loyalty and love. You had never believed that glow inside his chest would consume and encompass your heart too, for you loved him with all your soul. You weren't his mate, but, you fell in love with him anyways. He had fallen in love with you too. A friendship that grew into a mature love, rooted in mutual respect.

You pursed your lips. "He's got some pretty solid ideas which in theory should work but," you trailed off with a deep sigh, "it just needs a little bit more thinking from me. I can't seem to figure out how to execute this so that the staircase can actually hold the weight of his big head," you finished your sentence with agitation.

"Well, if there's anyone who can help Rhysand not fall flat on his face in his own home then it's my beautiful, accomplished wife." Cassian stated with determination. You tilted your head back to peer up at him through your lashes. Your eyes, squinted with suspicion, locked onto his honey coloured orbs, "Mhmm and it exactly why are you buttering me up, oh Lord of Bloodshed?"

"No reason", he uttered, "I just love you and know for a fact that you've likely spent your entire day trying to perfect this house for Rhysand and Feyre. I'm also 99.9% sure that you haven't eaten anything today." He was right. You hadn't eaten. Too stressed in trying to design a home for your two friends and their baby boy. They had gone through so much together and had done so much for Prythian that you wanted to create a home where they could feel cherished and loved. A place where they could create new memories together. Memories that one day could heal their broken selves and give them hope for the future.

Cassian stared down at you, a soft smile painted his lips and a glimmer twinkled in his eyes which told you that he knew exactly where your mind had gone. Letting go of your body, he grabbed your hand in his and tugged you away from the table towards the kitchen. "You", he said whilst pushing you down into a seat "sit here whilst I, Chef Cassian, cook you something delicious".

You chuckled watching Cassian flounce around the kitchen. He grabbed an apron from the top drawer to tie around his waist and then placed his hand on his hips, determined to create something delicious for you. You looked at him, eyes glazed with love and thanked the Cauldron for gifting you with a wonderful husband.

"This reminds me of our first date." you spoke, your words dripped in nostalgia.

"Yeah" he murmured back, " I remember it turning out to be a disaster and Rhysand having to put out a fire". You laughed at the memory. You weren't fond of going out and loved to spend most of your days inside your flat. Cassian had finally built-up the courage to ask you out and although you were giddy at the prospect of going out on a date with Cassian, you were still weary that this step may ruin your long lasting friendship. Cassian proposed that he cook for you in your flat, that way you would be somewhere comfortable and could relax. He was always so thoughtful about your feelings and his suggestion only made you feel more secure about going into a romantic relationship with him.

Turns out Cassian had never cooked anything in his life until that moment, always relying on Rhysand or the magic of the Windhaven house to feed him. Thankfully no-one got hurt after that date night fire fisaco, only Cassians pride. It resulted in you both deciding on taking cooking classes together for your dates. Leading to the both of you falling head over heels in love with each other and learning to cook different Court cusuines.

"Well, I loved that date night no matter how much of a disaster it was. It opened my eyes to you and how serious you were about me, about us," you spoke softly, eyes welling up with tears. " I think I started to fall in love with you then. You didn't even know how to cook back then but wanted to do something sweet and romantic just so I didn't feel uncomfortable out in public. And here you are today, feeding me because I forgot".

"You're my love. Looking after you is my privelege and joy" he replied. His words were short and sweet but I could feel every fibre of his love in those words. He plated up the food and placed it in front of me. "Eat up sweetheart", he said, tilting my face up to place a firm kiss on my lips. "Can't have the Night Court's Head Engineer low on fuel. Cauldron knows these houses won't stay up without you," he winked and walked away to wash the dishes. You smiled into your food and thanked the Cauldron one last time.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! This is my first time writing fanfic. I hope I did a good enough write up and you all like it. I'm so nervous. I'm not a writer by nature so there's probably loads of spelling and grammar mistakea but I just wanted to give it a go and be part of a community that gives joy to readers like meee.

With love,

theduskyprincess

this is so cute im screaming

Snow on the Beach

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: As soon as Cassian and Reader run into each other, she feels the bond snap into place. But feeling unworthy next to the famed Cassian, she keeps it to herself, assuming that he would never find out the truth. Before long, she finds that she was very wrong.

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: insecure reader

Word Count: 4k

While walking Nyx to school on an early autumn morning, Cassian was certainly glad that the Illyrian soldiers could keep themselves in line for a day or two, giving him a respite to come home to Velaris and spend time with his nephew. It seemed to him that the boy was growing up far too fast; he could hardly believe that he was already in school. 

“So kid,” Cassian said, gently steering Nyx away from the street with a hand on his back, “tell me about school. Have you made any friends?"

Little Nyx grinned. “Yeah!”

“I bet the other kids think it’s cool that your parents are the High Lord and Lady, huh?”

He nodded, “At first, they all thought it was really cool. I think they’re getting used to it now, though. Now everyone is talking about how Astrid’s mom opened that new restaurant by the rainbow.”

Cassian laughed, unable to resist ruffling Nyx’s hair. “Well, they do have good food.”

Nyx agreed, and Cassian took the tiny hand in his own once the boy started veering toward the street again. “Do you like your teacher?” 

“She’s really nice,” he said. “She barely even gives us any homework.”

“Now, that’s a good teacher,” Cassian agreed. 

Nyx chatted idly with Cassian until they got to school.

Cassian was surprised to see a beautiful young woman standing near the front door, greeting the kids as they filtered in through the building. 

You smiled at Nyx as he and Cassian approached. “Good morning, Nyx! Who did you bring with you today?”

“This is my uncle Cassian,” Nyx said proudly, before turning back to Cassian and informing him, “This is my teacher!”

Teachers did not look like that when I was in school, Cassian thought. 

“Hi,” Cassian smiled, extending his hand. You took it, your eyes widening slightly when your hand touched his. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said. Cassian thought you sounded a bit out of breath. “Are you picking Nyx up today?”

Cassian said, “I am,” and was suddenly very glad for it. 

You nodded, still looking somewhat dazed. “Okay, we’ll see you this afternoon then.”

Nyx said goodbye and bounded into the building, but Cassian couldn’t help but feel like something was off. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You look… a little pale, maybe?"

“I’m fine,” you said hurriedly. “Thank you.”

Cassian nodded. “Okay. Good.” Cauldron, why was he flustered now? “This afternoon, then. Have a good day. Good luck with the little ones.”

You laughed, thanking him, before Cassian turned away. 

---

You could hardly breathe. And he had known it too, which made everything so much worse. 

The last thing you were expecting today was to meet your mate three minutes before school started. 

Cauldron. How could the Cassian be your mate?

You were fairly sure you recognized him as he was walking up, but didn’t want to assume. The High Lord and his inner circle were well known here, of course, but you had never met any of them besides Rhysand and Feyre, and that was only because Nyx was in your class.

Cassian was unlike any male you’d ever seen before. His biceps were the size of your head. He could snap you in half like it was nothing. And yet he was holding little Nyx’s hand in his, walking him to school. 

Gods.

You were nervous enough about having the High Lord’s son in your class, but then a member of his trusted inner circle shows up, touches your hand, and the bond snaps into place?

And just like that, the commander of the High Lord’s army, the one that they’ve written entire books about, was your mate. 

Yet, here you were, teaching arithmetic to a classroom full of tiny children.

It didn’t make sense. You had never heard of the Mother making mistakes before, but surely this was one. Why would someone that powerful have a schoolteacher for a mate?

Cassian didn’t seem to feel it when you had. Surely you would have noticed if it had snapped for him at the same time. 

So, he didn’t know. And you figured it was better to keep it that way. You would sound foolish, telling this war hero that you were his mate. 

And it wasn’t likely that you would see him again after today, anyway. 

You just had to get through the day, and pretend that everything was normal. 

By the time parents were back picking up their kids, you had managed to put Cassian out of your mind. 

That is, until he showed up again, his massive wings tucked in closely behind him, his shirt spread tightly across his chest and his arms. Your heart leaped as you watched him make his way to the door. 

Your mate. He was yours. Or at least the Mother thought he should be. 

He smiled brightly when he saw you, and you immediately felt a pull on that invisible string that tied you to him. 

It was an effort to steady your breathing when he finally stood in front of you. 

Before you could say anything, one of your students ran into your legs from behind at full speed, causing you to stagger forward, into Cassian. He steadied you, his strong hands holding your waist, as your own hands involuntarily came to rest on his broad chest. 

Cassian looked into your eyes for a moment, the side of his mouth tugging up into a smile. You got lost in him for a moment, in those hazel eyes that you felt you could see the world in. 

Thankfully, you finally remembered where you were, and turned around and narrowed your eyes at your student. “Jan, buddy, we’ve talked about this.”

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, taking a step back. “I forgot.”

“I know you did, it’s okay,” you said, gently patting his back. “Why don’t you go play until your dad gets here, okay?” 

You turned back to Cassian as he happily scampered off. Cassian’s eyes were bright as he smiled at you. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?” you asked, tilting your head slightly. 

He laughed, gesturing around, to the dozens of squealing children. “This. Stay so calm, being in charge of all these kids while they’re yelling and knocking into you.”

You shrugged, unable to keep the smile off your face, being so close to him. “It’s not that bad. It’s nothing like what you do.”

Cassian smiled, glancing around at the chaos that surrounded you both. “Well, you might be surprised.” His gaze landed back on you and you felt it like a shock down to your toes. “If you ever want to help me out with the Ilyrians, let me know. You might be better at keeping them in line than I am.”

“I highly doubt that,” you laughed. “With kids, you just need to give them a snack and they’ll love you forever.”

He pursed his lips slightly, seemingly thinking this over. “I might have to try that.”

You laughed. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Promise,” he smirked. 

In that moment, you knew you could spend all day looking at him and never get bored. It scared you, that thought. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall for him. There was no possible outcome that wouldn’t break your heart.

You cleared your throat, taking half a step back. “You’ll probably want to find Nyx.”

He nodded, as if he too had forgotten why he was actually there. 

As if on cue, Nyx bounded up, throwing his arms around Cassian’s legs. “Uncle Cassian!”

Cassian grinned down at him. “Hey, kid. Were you good for your teacher today?”

Nyx smiled shyly. “Yes.”

Cassian turned back to you, raising an eyebrow in question. 

You smiled, nodding. “He was.”

“Good,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s hair, before turning his attention back to you. “I’ll see you around?”

You nodded, though you doubted you would see him again. You tried not to dwell on that, on the fact that you had finally, finally found your mate, and you knew deep down that you could never have him. 

Cassian glanced back over his shoulder, smiling at you once more after he had left and your heart missed a beat. 

You desperately hoped that you would be able to go back to your real life, to forget about him.

---

Cassian couldn’t get you out of his mind after that day. The way you were looking at him… 

Maybe it was just that you recognized him. You certainly weren’t the only woman who had looked up at him with big doe eyes. 

So, why couldn’t he stop thinking about you?

It wasn’t just that though, he knew, as you danced around his mind once again. You were clearly incredibly kind and sweet. And you were funny. 

He found himself smiling as he thought about you, and schooled his features back into his stern, commanding expression as he focused his attention back onto the warriors training in front of him. 

But before long, he was thinking of you again, wondering what kind of snack would make the stubborn, bull headed Illyrians slightly less annoying to work with. 

He would just have to focus, he told himself, until he could see you again. 

Rhysand had given him a questioning look when he had asked to take Nyx to school again, but agreed. 

It had only been a few days, but he was already itching to see you again.

He wondered if it was possible that you felt the same way. 

---

Before school, you always took it upon yourself to usher idle children into the building, making sure they got where they needed to be while parents were busy dropping them off and making plans for pick up. 

When you caught a glimpse of massive, outstretched wings, you felt a shock spark through your entire body.

Again? He was really dropping Nyx off again? 

It had only been a few days since you had last seen him. Not nearly enough time to catch your breath, to force thoughts of him out of your mind. 

That tug in your chest, that string urging you closer to him, was relentless. 

You understood now, how people had been driven to madness after their mating bond had been rejected. It took everything you had in you to stay put, to keep yourself from running to him. 

His bright smile as he approached, his eyes locked on yours, made your heart hurt. 

“Hey,” he said, ushering Nyx into the building with a gentle nudge. 

“Hi,” you said quietly, noticing now that nearly everyone had already gone inside or left. You were alone with Cassian. 

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. Was he… nervous?

“So,” he said, then laughed lightly, turning his face to the mountains surrounding the city, scratching the back of his neck.

“Cassian?” You asked, confused, and honestly, slightly impatient. You only had a few minutes to get to your class.

He leveled his gaze back to you again, his eyes twinkling in the sun. “Do you want to get dinner?” 

That had not been what you were expecting, and you felt like your breath was completely caught in your throat. 

Cassian seemed to take your surprise for something else because he started talking again, quickly, like he couldn't get it out fast enough, “Unless you don't want to. It's not a big deal, I was just thinking --”

“Yes,” you cut him off, and he looked relieved, his taut shoulders visibly relaxing.

“You're sure?”

You couldn't keep the smile off your face. “Very sure.”

His face lit up with a grin then, and you had to bite your lip to keep from grinning yourself. You balled your hands into fists at your sides, worried that if you didn't, you would launch yourself at him.

The two of you agreed on a time and a place, and then he was off, and you once again, had to go teach a classroom full of kids as if nothing remarkable had just happened.

By the time dinner with Cassian rolled around, you had convinced yourself that it was definitely not a date. Probably. 

Just… casual dinner between two people who barely knew each other. Acquaintances went out for dinner all the time, right? 

You forced yourself to take a deep breath as you waited outside the restaurant, your fingers toying with the hem of your dress that you had finally decided on, after trying on nearly every piece of clothing that you owned. 

It was a habit of yours to always arrive early, and yet, you only waited a few minutes before Cassian sauntered up to you, like he didn’t have a care in the world. For about the millionth time, you wondered how it was possible that the two of you had been chosen as mates. You couldn’t be more different. 

Cassian’s smile was bright when he was finally towering over you, greeting you with the usual pleasantries before placing his hand on the small of your back and leading you inside. 

Your heart pounded in your chest at the contact. He hadn’t touched you since that first handshake, the touch that made the bond snap into place for you, like nothing you had ever felt before. 

You wondered if it would do the same for him someday. What would his reaction be if he knew?

Disappointed, surely. Confused. Upset?

It was one thing to ask someone to dinner, but to be mates? To be tethered to somebody for life? You suddenly couldn’t bear the thought of him finding out. 

Your mind was spinning by the time the two of you took your seats, and his brow furrowed in concern as his gaze settled on you. “Are you alright?”

You tried to brighten your expression, cursing your face for always being so easy to read. “Fine,” you said, and the smile became easier, more genuine, the longer that you looked at him. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, I guess. It’s hard to shut it off.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I understand. Do you want to talk about it?” 

You winced. “Not really. It’s not that interesting, anyway,” you said, waving a hand dismissively. “How are you?” you asked, before you could accidentally reveal something you would regret. 

The corner of his mouth turned up into a small smile, his gaze locked on you. “Why do you do that? Dismiss yourself so casually?”

“What do you mean?”

“You act like what you do isn’t important, or like your feelings don’t matter.” He leaned in closer, bracing his forearms on the table in front of him. “But it’s not true. You have one of the most important jobs… ever. And from what I can tell, you’re really good at it.” 

He relaxed his stance, leaning back in his chair again, his eyes never wavering from yours. “You don’t have to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you. But, I won’t let you act like it doesn’t matter, because it does.”

Stunned, you opened your mouth, completely unable to form a response. How could he read you so clearly? And why did he care so much?

Finally, all you could say was, “You don’t even know me.”

Cassian’s smile grew slowly. “I know enough. And I’d like to know more.”

The look on his face, the gravel in his voice, the words that he spoke, made heat rush to your cheeks. His smile only widened. 

“What do you want to know?”

---

Cassian couldn’t wipe the grin off his face after that date with you. You had talked for ages, the two of you, and he didn’t think he had ever been so enamored by somebody. You told him all about your family, your friends, how you grew up, your favorite hideout in Velaris, when you just needed to get away from it all. And he had done the same, admittedly, showing off a little with stories from being in Rhysand's trusted inner circle. 

But you didn’t fawn over him like some women did. You sat and listened, your eyes widening at all the right times, but it was like you really saw him. Not the version of him that people talk about in battle, but just… Cassian. 

And he really liked that. 

For weeks, you had consumed his every waking thought and, frankly, several of his dreams. The way you blushed when he smiled at you, the slight tilt of your head when you watched him animatedly tell stories, the way your eyes lit up when you saw him… all of it was driving him completely mad. He saw you as much as he could in those weeks, and though you seemed reluctant to show it, he could tell that you were excited to see him, too. 

Winter was almost upon Velaris, and the air was crisp, but the sun was bright as Cassian sauntered up to the school, hoping that your afternoon was free and he could steal you away for lunch. 

The sun's rays were shining on you like a beacon and he couldn't help but stare as you crouched down to be face to face with a kid, your smile bright as you undoubtedly said something encouraging to him. 

In that moment, he felt like the ground was swaying beneath him as the bond snapped into place.

The bond that tethered you to him, that confirmed what he had been feeling all these weeks, that proved you were meant to be his. 

For a moment, he was ecstatic, but that moment ended quickly as he suddenly remembered that first time you met, the way your eyes widened in shock as he touched you for the first time… you knew. You had known this whole time and you hadn't told him.

Did you not want to be his mate? Did you think it was a bad match? If that were the case, why on earth had you been spending so much time with him?

He stood frozen in place until the crowd of parents and kids had mostly cleared, his thoughts whirling.

Your eyes lit up when you noticed Cassian, but your face fell when you noticed his expression.

He could tell that you figured it out. That he knew. And that he knew you knew.

His heart broke as your eyes flooded with panic, and you turned from him, hurrying away without another glance.

Cassian followed, half debating flying above the city so he could see easier where you were going.

But before long, he knew your destination anyway.

You had told him weeks ago about the beach that you often went to when you needed to clear your head.

When he approached, you were sitting facing the river, your arms wrapped around yourself. The rocks beneath his boots cracked together and alerted you immediately to his presence, but you didn't turn around. 

He sat next to you, wincing a bit as a rock dug into his thigh, careful to tuck his wings in so they wouldn't brush against you.

Your eyes remained on the water for a few moments, a storm inside them. 

Finally, Cassian said, “Why didn't you tell me?”

Thinking, you bit your lip, and despite everything, it made his heart swell. 

“I didn't think you would want to know,” you said, your voice small.

It took an effort not to physically feel back like you had slapped him. He fought to keep his voice calm. “Why not?"

You let out a humorless laugh, still not so much as glancing in his direction. “Why do you think?”

Cassian furrowed his brow, wracking his brain for any indication he may have accidentally given you that would make you think he wouldn't want to be your mate, but he came up with nothing. “I don't know,” he finally said. “Did I do something?”

Your eyes finally met his then, and he felt the urge to cry for the first time in centuries. You looked so defeated, so pained. What had he done to make you react this way?

“No, it's not that, it's…” you bit your lip, your brow furrowed as you held his gaze. “Cassian, you're a warrior. You're in charge of armies, you're one of the most powerful Illyrians of all time, you've literally made history. And I'm…” you gestured to yourself, “I'm nothing compared to you.” You shook your head, facing the water again. “I hid it from you because it doesn't make sense. It must be a mistake.”

Cassian's heart pounded in his ears as he tried to make sense of it. “How could you think it's a mistake?” He said, his voice wavering, but he pushed past it. “How could you think that way about yourself?”

His heart broke when he heard you sniffle, still avoiding his gaze.

Gently, he took your chin between his fingers and urged you to look at him. “It's not a mistake,” he said quietly. “I haven't been able to get you out of my head since the moment I saw you. Do you know why?”

Your bottom lip trembled and you shook your head as much as you could while he was still holding your chin.

“You're incredible. You're endlessly kind and patient. You dedicate your life to helping kids and teaching them how to be who they're meant to be. There wouldn't be armies to lead or healers to fix us after battle, or anything else, if we didn't have teachers leading us along the way.”

Your eyes softened then, and Cassian nearly sighed with relief but he kept pushing, to be sure you would believe what he was telling you. “And gods, you're beautiful,” he smiled, stroking his thumb across your bottom lip. “You drive me crazy.”

A laugh bubbled from your throat and his heart leaped. He shifted his hands so they were cupping your face. “We're meant to be together, you and me. It's not a mistake. And I don't want to hear you talk about yourself like that again.”

You nodded, smiling, looking up at Cassian with stars in your eyes. “I just can't believe you want me.”

“Well, believe it, because it's true,” he murmured, leaning in so his lips brushed the shell of your ear, “I want you more than I've ever wanted anything.”

He felt your breath hitch, and just then it started to snow lightly, the small flakes sticking to your eyelashes and in your hair.

“I want you too, Cassian,” you said quietly before cupping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him closer, bringing your lips to his.

Cassian couldn't stop his groan as he pulled you closer, kissing you the way he'd been wanting to for weeks.

When you finally parted to catch your breath, he pulled you to his side, and you rested your head on his shoulder as the two of you looked out across the water, the snow still gently drifting down.

It didn't feel real, that he had finally found his mate, the one he was meant to be with. And it was you, who had been consuming his thoughts since the moment you met.

He felt so, so unbelievably lucky and he prayed that you felt the same way about him.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @ecliphttlunar @melmo567 @headacheseason @sillysillygoose444 @halibshepherd @cigvrette-dvydrevms @lilah-asteria @marina468 @evergreenlark @bookloverandalsocats @yourqueenlilith @mariamay02 @azrielshadows1nger @andreperez11

Masterlist -

Eris Vanserra:

How Eris Likes His Tea - [Fluff]

Runaway Part I / Part II / Part III - [Angst, Smut]

Snatch - [Smut]

In Sickness and Health - [Fluff]

Fox Hunting - [Smut]

Fated Male - [Angst]

Alone Together - [Fluff]

A New Male Part I / Part II - [Pining, Smut]

The Fox & The Hound - [Fluff]

Ready to Bleed - [Nightmare, Comfort]

Bow For Your High Lady - [Smut]

Closed Until Further Notice - [Fluff, Smut]

Coming Home - [Fluff]

    Archeron Sister x Eris:

    Cauldron of Fire - [Angst]

    Bartering for a Life - [Angst]

    To The Mother - [Fluff]

Smut Blurbs: One / Two

Angst Blurbs: Shattered Soul

Cassian:

Two Sides to Every Story - Part I / Part II [Fluff, Smut]

The Throne - [Smut]

Nesting - [Fluff]

Illyrian Bloodshed - [Fluff]

Then Go - Part I / Part II [Fluff, Angst]

Azriel:

Class Is In Session - [Fluff]

Life & Death - [Angst]

You Called - [Longing]

Love You In The Dark - [Angst]

Tamlin:

Show Them - [Redemption, Angst]

Dreams Not Nightmares - [Fluff]

When The Night Calls - [Smut]

Altered self-image (established relationship, Cassian’s mate)

You sat at the dining table, poking at the food on your plate with little interest. It had been like this for weeks—your appetite dwindling as your thoughts spiraled into darker places. Every time you looked in the mirror, all you saw were the imperfections: the rolls on the side of your back, the softness of your stomach when you sat, the marks on your thighs. You compared yourself endlessly to Feyre, Elain, and Nesta—how effortlessly thin they seemed, how perfectly their bodies fit into the image of what you thought you should look like.

But you weren’t them. You had curves, and while once they had made you feel powerful, now all you could see were the parts of yourself you wished would disappear. And then there was Cassian—so fit, so muscled, and not an ounce of fat. The warrior everyone admired, the embodiment of strength. How could you stand beside him and feel worthy when you didn’t even feel comfortable in your own skin?

You hadn’t noticed him watching you as you sat there, barely touching your food. But Cassian had been paying attention. He had noticed the way your appetite had waned, the way you pulled back when he tried to wrap his arms around your waist, the way you would avoid looking at yourself in the mirror.

"Are you going to eat that?" His voice broke through your thoughts, and you looked up to see him standing in the doorway, his gaze serious.

You forced a smile, pushing the food around your plate. "I’m just not that hungry."

Cassian narrowed his eyes, the soft concern on his face quickly shifting into something more determined. "That’s not true," he said, crossing the room in a few strides. "You haven’t been eating, and I want to know why."

You felt the knot of guilt tighten in your chest as he stood in front of you, arms crossed. His presence was imposing, but the worry in his eyes softened the sharpness of his stance.

"I... I just don’t feel like it," you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. "It’s nothing."

Cassian crouched down in front of you, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Don’t lie to me, love," he said, his voice low but filled with a quiet intensity. "I’ve noticed. You haven’t been eating right for weeks. You’re not yourself."

You shifted uncomfortably, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. You didn’t want to have this conversation. How could you explain that you felt inadequate, that every time you looked at him—this strong, perfect warrior—you felt like you didn’t measure up?

"I don’t look like them," you blurted out, unable to stop the words from spilling out. "I don’t look like Feyre, or Elain, or Nesta. I’m not thin, Cass. I have fat on my stomach, and marks on my thighs, and when I sit, there are rolls on my back. I don’t look like you—fit, strong. And I... I just feel like I shouldn’t eat if I want to be better."

Cassian’s face softened immediately, and without hesitation, he reached for your hands, gently pulling them into his grasp. "Don’t ever say that," he said firmly, his eyes burning with emotion. "Don’t you dare compare yourself to them. You are *you*. You are my mate, and I love every inch of you, just as you are."

You blinked, the tears finally spilling over as the weight of your insecurities came crashing down. "But I don’t look like you," you choked out. "You’re so perfect, and strong, and I’m just... not."

Cassian’s hands cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears as he looked at you with a tenderness that made your heart ache. "I am not perfect," he said, his voice soft but steady. "And I don’t want you to be, either. I love you for who you are, not for what you think you should look like. Your body is yours, and it’s beautiful. Those curves, the softness of your skin, the marks on your thighs—they’re all part of you, and I wouldn’t change a single thing."

You sobbed, the weight of his words sinking in as you buried your face in his chest. His strong arms wrapped around you, holding you close as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

"I don’t care what anyone else looks like," he murmured against your hair. "I care about you. And I need you to take care of yourself, not because of how you look, but because I want you to be healthy. You deserve to feel good, to feel strong in your own way."

He pulled back slightly, tilting your chin up so you could see the sincerity in his gaze. "You are not meant to be Feyre, or Elain, or Nesta. You are *you*, and I fell in love with every single part of you. I wouldn’t want you any other way."

You sniffled, the warmth of his words finally starting to settle in. "I just... I don’t know how to stop feeling like this."

Cassian kissed your forehead, his hands never leaving yours. "You don’t have to figure it all out right now. But we’re going to work on this, together. You’re not alone, and I’ll be here every step of the way. And for now," he added with a soft smile, "you’re going to eat. Not because you have to, but because you deserve to treat yourself with the same love I have for you."

With trembling hands, you nodded and picked up the fork, taking a bite of the food in front of you. Cassian stayed by your side, his hand gently resting on your back, comforting you as you took the first steps toward healing.

And in that moment, you knew that with him, you would learn to see yourself as he did—worthy, beautiful, and loved.

R&R

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: Cassian was tired and you were taking forever to get your ass back home.

Word count: 1k

Warnings: nothing! fluff <3

a/n: A little drabble as I ignore my homework.

~~

Cassian was tired. 

He felt it in his bones and the cracks of his skin.

Dirt was ingrained in every crevice of his leathers, dusting out as he shucked the articles to the ground and stepped into the steaming bath. Training didn’t usually take this much out of him, but there were a host of recruits that he needed to train, all so eager to be part of the troops after the victorious War with Hybern. 

All eager but so, so inept.  

And then you weren’t home when he got here, which pissed him off. 

All he could think about during the hours of training drills and conditioning and corrections was coming home to you, pressing his face into your neck, and falling asleep to the warmth of your skin. He had sent a spark down the bond when he started his journey home, which—to him—was a request for you to come home as well. 

You did not. 

Cassian dried himself off and threw on the closest pair of cotton pants he could find, falling into bed with a huff. 

Ridiculous. 

He was in bed and he was alone. 

He covered his eyes with the bulk of his arm. 

He’d sleep then. Fine. 

Only he couldn’t sleep. The bed smelled like you and he tugged at the bond again. This time, you actually did offer him a reply, and Cassian wanted to drown in the warmth you sent through his chest. 

Where the hell were you?

He flipped onto his stomach and shoved his face into a pillow. He should be able to sleep without you there. He was Illyrian; he had slept in far worse conditions. On rocks, in a tree, standing up against war-torn buildings—Cassian could sleep anywhere at any time. But then he met you and he fell in love with you and you weren’t getting your ass home fast enough.

Cauldron help him if you ever decided to go on vacation. 

Mor had tried something like that when you were freshly mated, posing a girl's trip to you and Feyre. That idea hadn’t gone far.

It had been more about sex and lust and being so enamored by you that he couldn’t breathe back then. Right now he just wanted to get some damn sleep. 

The bedroom door clicked open and unrelenting joy washed away the irritation he was harboring for you. Because how could he be irritated when you came into the room all soft and smiley and bright? Upon further contemplation, Cassian decided that no, he wasn’t ever irritated at you, actually. 

“Hi, Cass,” you called, the sound muting the headache that had begun to form behind the general’s eyes. “How were the recruits? Are they ready to charge into battle?”

You flitted about the room, taking off your coat and setting your bags down and not paying attention to him at all. Cassian fought the urge to tackle you onto the bed just to get you to stop moving. He couldn’t even get a good look at you like this, and he hadn’t seen you all day. He left before you woke up. 

“Yeah maybe in a few years,” Cassian grumbled, following you with his eyes as you started cleaning up the damn room. “C’mere, sweetheart.” 

“I will in just a moment. This place is a mess. You got dirt everywhere, did you know that?” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up later, just come here.” 

You tsked and ignored him. Cassian cursed at the ceiling.

“I was out with Mor earlier and we stopped by Nyx's school to surprise him,” you giggled, grabbing a stupid broom. “He was adorable, of course. He painted you and Az for one of his projects in art. You’ll have to see it when he brings it home. I swear, Cass, he is just hmph—” 

The broom clattered to the floor, forgotten along with the dirt that lined the wood. Your cheeks were encased by Cassian’s hands as he kissed you, and he ran one back to entangle it with your hair. Gods, you smelled good, like strawberries or apples or whatever fruity perfume you were trying while you were out shopping. Cassian deepened the kiss and relished in the surprised sound you made. 

“You didn’t even kiss me when you came in,” he practically pouted, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “Or look at me.” 

You gripped at his biceps to keep yourself upright, his body pressed so closely to yours. “I didn’t mean to,” you whispered. 

“I know.” He nudged your nose with his. “Lay down with me.” 

“But the floor—” 

“Lay down with me,” he repeated.

A brief pause, a small nod; right now, it took very little to make Cassian so inexplicably happy. 

He gathered you in his arms the moment your body hit the sheets, burying his face in your neck like he was supposed to do about thirty minutes ago. And then you ran your fingers across his scalp and Cassian decided he was dead. There was no other explanation for this type of bliss. 

“Did you have a bad day?” you asked softly. 

“Day was fine. Long, but fine,” he grumbled, pulling you tighter, pressing his lips to your skin. 

You hummed. “Then why couldn’t I clean the room?” 

“Because I’m tired and you were over there.” 

“Not seeing the correlation, my love.” 

Tire was weighing heavy on Cassian’s mind. His body relaxed even more into the bed as his hands ran down the length of your body. 

“I need to hold you to fall asleep,” he replied as if it were obvious. Because it was. 

“Oh.” 

He grunted out a confirmation.

“Well, I’m not exactly ready for bed yet and I told Rhys—” 

“I love you,” Cassian interrupted. “Please stop talking.” 

And then Cassian was no longer pissed or annoyed or tired because nothing was out of place. Sleep found him quickly.

Words of Affirmation

Pairing: Reader x Cassian

Summary: Even the Lord of Bloodshed gets insecure sometimes. As his mate, you always know the right words to say.

Warnings: established relationship fluff :)

Word Count: 2.3k

just a quick sweet fluffy piece to make up for all my angst. dedicated to the one and only @sarawritestories

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

Cassian would never admit it, but the assumptions of his intelligence bothered him. He was always a brute, a mindless warrior, a soldier— nothing more. He knew, deep down, that his brothers rivaled him in all matters of the mind. They were more collected, more capable with familial matters and court affairs. Simply put, they were smarter. 

And he had accepted that— at least, he told himself he had. After all, he was talented where it mattered. He was a good male, a good friend, a good brother, a good commander— and amazing in bed. So truly, it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did when his meeting with Eris went sour. 

Cassian entered the room with heavy steps, a frown on his face as he began to peel off his coat, each movement slow and heavy with frustration. A part of him hoped that he could shed more than just the layer of clothing, hoped that coming home would rid him of the insecurity that had threaded itself through his ribs.

You observed him quietly, taking in the way his muscles tensed and released with each motion, the subtle clenching of his jaw, the deep exhale. He hadn’t looked at you yet, hadn’t made his classic entrance. On most days, Cass would return home with a huge grin, door thrown wide open as he bellowed out your name with a burning heart.

But he was quiet today. And you knew exactly why– you could feel it through the bond. Cassian was sad. 

Your footsteps were quiet against the wood floors as you slowly walked towards him. 

“Things didn’t go well?” 

Your voice was soft and gentle and the sound of it sent a ripple of relief through his body. Still, he felt heavy. Tired. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he finally discarded his coat onto a nearby chair. “I don’t know how Rhysand does it.”

“Does what?” 

“This whole diplomacy thing, even Azriel. I just… I couldn’t. I'm too stupid for it. Just an idiot.”

Your heart clenched at his words, a heaviness settling on the glowing bond in your chest. You wanted to console him, to fight and kill whatever it was that was unsettling him so deeply. But the thing that was causing Cassian pain wasn’t anything you could fight yourself. It was his own mind, the insecurities he was too afraid to acknowledge. 

Before you could open your mouth to respond, he waved you off with a frustrated gesture.

“I know, I know,” he murmured, his tone heavy with defeat, “I’m just whining. I’ll get over it.”

You frowned, letting out a small breath. 

“No, don’t say that,” you said gently, taking a step closer to him. “You’re allowed to be frustrated. But you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

Cassian’s brows furrowed.

“I’m not?” 

You took in the sight of your mate for a moment, took in his long hair and brown eyes, took in the stubble on his jaw and the way he let out a small breath. You extended your hand to him, voice low as you murmured, “C’mere, honey.”

He hesitated for a moment before he gently took your hand and closed the distance between you, large arms wrapping around your waist as he looked down at you. 

“You are a big ole’ dummy,” you teased lightly, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you put your hands around his neck. You felt Cassian melt into your touch ever so slightly, eyes shuttering closed as a small hum left his lips. “But you are brilliant. Like really fucking smart.”

Cassian’s eyes opened to meet yours, somewhat narrowed in skepticality. You rubbed the nape of his neck with your thumbs. 

“I mean, you’re a war general. You’ve commanded hundreds of soldiers, have won countless battles– wars, even. You couldn’t get away with those things as an idiot.”

Cassian grumbled, but you caught the hint of a smile dancing in his stormy eyes, felt the tension in his shoulders beginning to ease. A wry chuckle bubbled up from deep within him as he shook his head, his lips quirking up in a brief smile.

“Well, I don’t know about that one, we have Beron and Tam-”

You rolled your eyes. 

“Would you just let me compliment you?” You interrupted with a gentle shake of your head, eyebrows raised as you looked at him. 

A soft chuckle escaped him. “My bad.”

“You are so incredibly smart,” you repeated earnestly, slightly pulling him down and urging him to place his forehead against yours. 

He stayed quiet for a moment, his gaze heavy as he searched for something in your eyes. He seemed to find it as he gave you a small smile. “You really think so?”

You pulled yourself back gently, dropping your hands from his neck to take his in your own. Then, you gently guided one hand to your chest, letting him feel the steady rhythm of your heartbeat beneath his touch.

“Does it feel like I’m lying?” you asked softly.

Cassian’s expression softened as his gaze flickered to where your hand held his. You watched as a glow of warmth lit up his eyes. 

“No,” he said quietly, “It does not.”

And then he was bringing his hands to hold your face, leaning in to kiss you tenderly, his lips a gentle caress against yours.

He wasn’t sure if he believed it yet, if he was comfortable enough with considering himself to be smart, let alone brilliant. But you, his beautiful mate, the love of his life— you thought he was smart, you thought he was brilliant.

And truly, that's all that mattered to him. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

It wasn’t that he was insecure about his looks, no, that wasn't it. 

Cassian knew he was attractive, knew that he was hot and ruggedly handsome. He knew from the looks that he got from females and males alike, from the scent changes that he caused, and the lovers he had bedded. 

But sometimes, when standing next to Rhysand and Azriel,  Cassian would catch himself wondering if he was rough around the edges in ways that his brothers were smoother, more appealing. After all, they were the two more classically pretty males, the more softly attractive and very often audibly complimented. 

And then there was him, the rough warrior. 

Attractive, yes, but pretty? Elegant? Those were never words used to describe him. 

There was a soft glow in your room tonight, gentle shadows casted across the bed from flickering fae light. Cassian let out a deep sigh as he prepared to climb into bed, his muscles aching and head heavy as he shed the remenands of his day. 

You watched him with a tender gaze as you lay on the bed. The faintest hint of a smile played at the corners of your lips as your eyes traced the lines of his face. Cass caught your gaze with his own, a warm hearty brown that made your heart flutter. 

A playful smirk tugged at his lips as he noticed your lingering stare. "You like what you see, sweetheart?" 

You grinned, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth as you tilted your head. "Always.”

With a grin of his own, Cassian began to crawl towards you. The mattress dipped beneath his weight as he closed the distance between you, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Admiring how absolutely handsome I am?” he said, “How Incredibly sexy?" 

You let out a small laugh as he reached your face, his body hovering over yours. With a gentle hand, you pushed back his tousled hair, your touch feather-light against his skin. A soft sigh escaped him, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he savored the warmth of your touch. His lips wore a content smile. 

"So beautiful," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you traced the contours of his face with your fingertips.

He pulled back slightly, his eyebrows knitting together as his eyes scanned your face. You ran your finger along the crease that they created. "Beautiful?" 

You nodded, a soft smile gracing your lips. "Yes, beautiful. Maybe I don't tell you enough."

He chuckled softly as he leaned into your touch, heart swelling with warmth at your words. There was a new flutter in his chest that he didn’t recognize. For a moment, Cassian felt shy— he wasn’t quite sure why. But he laughed it off all the same. 

"That's a word reserved for you, sweetheart." 

You shook your head, your fingers trailing down his cheek to cup his face in your hands. "My beautiful mate,” you whispered, "My handsome, gorgeous, incredibly sexy, and beautiful mate." 

For the first time in a while, Cass was stunned, unable to respond as quickly as he was used to. Your words held a certain reverence to them, a sincerity that made him melt into your touch— made him melt into your voice itself. Before you, Cassian never knew himself as something gentle, as something capable of softness and sensitivity. But here he was before you, in all of his warrior glory, feeling like a child with a playground crush. And there you were, staring at him like he was the most exquisite thing you’d ever laid eyes on. So when words failed him, Cassian did the only thing he saw fit. 

He leaned in to kiss you tenderly, bringing his lips to yours softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him in closer, feeling his warmth against you as he smiled into the kiss. From deep within your chest, you felt a glow— a deep, ethereal, and overwhelming glow. 

Beautiful, his mind echoed, beautiful. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

You let out a soft sigh as you settled onto the couch with Cassian, pushing yourself further into his warm chest as he wrapped an arm around you. You’d spent the night at the River House, drinking more wine than you could handle and eating almost all of Elain's sweet desserts. There was a smile on your face as your eyes closed, your hearing quickly tuning into the heartbeat of your mate below you. 

You frowned when the sound began to quicken, echoing like a drum in your ears. You pushed yourself up, slightly turning your body and placing a hand on Cassian's chest. When you looked up at him, his face was scrunched, his gaze distant as if lost in contemplation.

Cassian wore a specific face when he was troubled, furrowed brows and a downturn of his lips. He wore it was he was sad or frustrated, when he had thoughts that plagued him at night. The face before you was a troubled one, indeed. But it was less rough than the others he bore, more vulnerable.

You slightly tapped against him with your palm. Cassian blinked at the sensation, then he slowly looked down to meet your eyes with his own. You let your chin fall gently on his chest. 

“What's wrong?”

Cassian managed a smile, shaking his head as he brought his hand to run over your hair. “Nothing.”

You frowned. “Tell me.”

For a moment, Cassian’s thoughts traveled again. Mor’s laugh echoed in his mind, wine glass in hand as she pointed at him. You have the subtlety of a war horn. You’re so loud I can hear you across Prythian. I don’t know how Y/n handles it all the time.

"Am I too loud?" 

His voice came out rushed, drenched in a tinge of what you could only describe as worry— even doubt.

A flicker of surprise passed through your features. “What?”

He let out a sigh. “I don’t know. Mor said something tonight, it just got me thinking.”

“Mor says a lot of things. Especially when she's drunk.”

“I know.” He nodded in agreement, tongue running across his teeth before he let out another sigh. “But she had a point tonight.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did she?”

He took a moment to take you in, to trace the features of your face with his eyes. Absentmindedly, he ran his hands through your hair. 

“Maybe I am too loud.”

Cassian's voice was defeated now, lips naturally falling into a frown. The crease between his eyebrows was still there as he peered down at you, hand still caressing your head.

You stared at him for a moment before you responded. "You're so loud." 

A flicker of disappointment crossed Cassian's face. But before the thought could spread through his mind, a soft smile graced your features. You gave his chest a small kiss. “But I love it. So very much.”

Cassian’s eyes lit up, a sense of release evident in his features as his lips curved into a smile. The crease between his eyebrows faded. "Really?"

"Absolutely," you affirmed, your voice filled with a sincerity that made his heart flutter. "My world would be too quiet without you."

Cassian’s eyes softened as he looked at you, his thumb gently swiping loose strands away from your forehead. “Yeah?” 

You nodded against him, chin still resting on his chest. “I hear everything I love in your voice.”

He smiled, the bond deep within him singing as he stared at you. He felt you tug at it, felt a roll of warmth run through his body— something gentle, something loving. And for a minute, Cassian could have cried at the sensation, could have cried at the way you looked at him, at how happy he felt. 

With his heart swelling, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he murmured, voice filled with a depth of emotion that he couldn’t quite express in words. He hoped that you could sense it, that you would hear those words and know everything he was trying to say— that you would understand just how much you meant to him, how your love filled him with a sense of peace and belonging he never knew he needed.

With a contented sigh, you snuggled closer to him, feeling his now steady heartbeat beneath your cheek. “I know,” you said, “You practically scream it from the heavens.”

Cassian let out a deep laugh, the sound reverberating through his chest. You felt his body move from under you, felt as the sound caressed you like a pair of warm hands. 

As his laughter subsided, Cassian pulled you closer to him. “I’ll keep shouting it so you’ll always hear it,” he whispered.

A warmth spread through you at his words, a feeling of love so strong it was tangible through that sacred tie that connected you.

“And I’ll keep listening.”

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

me not writing angst?? (i’m about to write the most gut wrenching pieces ever) unheard of. but we love a sweet established relationship <3

permanent tag list 🫶🏻: @rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria

The Construct of Loyalty

Pairing: Cassian x Rhys's Sister!Reader

Summary: After months of "disobedience" your father calls upon Cassian to be your personal guard. That leaves Cassian, a soldier in the Night Court army, your childhood friend, and a man deeply in love with you, to protect you from all fronts—including the arranged marriage you were born into.

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: Angst, arranged marriage, panic attacks, dual pov ;)

a/n: This wasn't going to be so long initially but then whoops it developed its own life. Part two will be necessary I think ♡ For context and clarification, the reader grew up with the IC and everyone is around 50-70 rn. Rhys's other sister is alive still but not really important to the plot.

Main Masterlist ♡

~~

“What if we just—” 

“No, y/n.” 

“But, Cassian, this is ridiculous. I’ve been stuck in here for three days.” 

“And you’ll be stuck a lot longer if you disobey your father again.” 

“You don’t even like the guy! Why are you so intent on kissing his ass?” 

Cassian bit the inside of his cheek and narrowed his eyes at the defeated posture you’d adopted. In truth, he didn’t like your father—hated him, actually. But Cassian knew the life you lived and what would come if you continued to act out against him. He knew things were becoming serious because Rhysand voiced his concerns over your circumstances when he was usually too protective to divulge anything, and he knew things were bad because the High Lord of the Night Court tasked him to watch over you. 

Him, a bastard-born Illyrian who was nothing more than dirt on the bottom of his shoe. 

But Cassian was dirt that you’d actually listen to. 

According to Rhys, your father had appointed six high fae to be your personal guard over the past six months. All six had been sent away rather abruptly when they failed to rein you in. But “rein you in” was a ridiculous sentiment, as you called it. All you wanted to do was to get out of the room your father kept you cloistered in and actually experience a life. 

You wanted to speak to people who weren’t your assigned propriety tutors or servants. You wanted to get out of the Moonstone Palace and be a person outside of the marital obligations your father placed on you. You wanted to shop in Verlaris with Mor and make Cassian take you flying and, above all, you wanted to understand your magic—to hone the combination of night and day that your father’s choice of mistress had carefully curated.

Because that union was the entire purpose of your birth, and the moment you turned 50 you were ripped from your family and hurled into the Moonstone Palace to live out your purpose. 

You were to be the figurehead of the alliance between Night and Day and you were to fulfill that duty through marriage. 

It didn’t matter that you were hardly seen as a person; you were a pawn, and as long as your father lived, you would continue to be used and maneuvered as the court saw fit. 

Rhysand had been trying his hardest to keep you from marriage for as long as he could, but the more you acted against your father’s wishes, the closer you got to your fate. 

You knew it was coming. You’d had far more freedom before you turned 50 but you’d still lived under your father’s thumb. Cassian always hated watching you get pulled from quiet nights in with your sister and would cast you sad looks when you were made to watch from the sidelines when everyone else was training. But that had always been your life, and there was never anything he could do about it. 

Cassian clenched his jaw in abject frustration. “Y/n… don’t do this.” 

You scoffed and harshly sat on your bed, the gauzy material of your dress splaying up before floating back down to rest on the blankets. Whatever hairstyle had been twisted upon your crown this morning was unraveling in a pretty mess around your face and Cassian itched to brush away the strands. 

You’d always been so pretty. 

He turned his fingers into his palm as you began to speak. “He wouldn’t even have to know. I wouldn’t leave your side once,” you mumbled. Your words felt more like a routine and less like an actual request. Because Cassian always said no when the other guards always gave in too easily. 

Or you had simply slipped past them too easily. 

“Look, Starfall is coming up. I’m sure your father would let you go out to be with everyone.” 

You twisted your mouth in a way Cassian knew meant you were trying not to cry. You blinked up to look at the ceiling and nodded your head with your teeth embedded in your bottom lip, and Cassian’s heart was dangerously close to breaking. 

When he’d gotten the station report—or rather, demand—to be your personal guard, Cassian had seen it as a good thing. He’d get a break from the grueling hours of being a soldier in the Night Court’s troops and he’d get to spend more time with you. He’d missed you terribly since you’d been sent to Hewn City. 

But then he’d gotten to your room and spent three weeks telling you no and watching you go stir crazy and he was three seconds away from caving. It wasn’t surprising that the other appointed guards had failed so quickly—you were too lovely to deny, especially when you looked so sad. 

Cassian breathed out a sigh and walked to your seat on the bed, his leathers groaning as he moved to crouch at your feet. You were still staring at the ceiling and Cassian was still aching to somehow fix all of this. 

“Hey,” he prompted. When you only tightened your grip on the piles of luxurious blankets on your bed, Cassian took your chin between his finger and thumb and brought your gaze down to him. “There she is,” he smiled, but the hazy gleam in your eye felt like a punch to the gut. 

“I hate this,” you whispered, all shaky and upset.

Cassian tsked. “I know, sweetheart.” 

“I just want to go back home.” 

“I know.” 

“It’s so weird that you’re in charge of me.” 

Cassian snorted. “I’m not in charge of you. I’m the one that has to follow you around.” 

You narrowed your watery eyes. “If that were true you’d let me go back to Velaris. Or go anywhere other than this wretched place.” 

“Well, in that way I guess I’m more protecting you than in charge of you. That’s what a guard does, sweetheart.” 

“Protecting me,” you laughed, jaw clenching as Cassian kept it in his soft hold. “What would be so dangerous about going to Velaris, hm? Or… running away. Really, really far away.” 

“Can’t run away, y/n. We’d all miss you too much,” Cassian teased, but the hint of panic in his eyes was unmistakable.

You raised an unamused brow. “Because you all see me so much now.” 

Cassian offered you a bittersweet smile and gave your cheek a soft pat. “You know I’m not protecting you from the people out there. You know why I won’t let you leave.” 

You looked resigned, but that reality was becoming more commonplace. You sighed and reached up to place your touch on Cassian’s knuckles. “I know, Cass,” you hummed. “I know.” 

~~

You shifted in your seat for the countless time that evening, the stone throne at your back doing little for comfort. The heavy crown on your head was giving you a headache and your father kept yelling, exacerbating the pounding behind your eyes. 

You were made to attend official court business more often, your father assimilating you into the role he birthed you for with more urgency as you rebelled. Cassian stood behind you with a stiff posture and murder in his eye, playing the role of a guard to perfection. And you knew, with all certainty, that if anyone looked at you wrong they would be on the floor. 

That was one benefit of having a personal guard—even more so a guard that you grew up with. 

“—not accept this insolence,” you heard your father bite out. He jutted his hand back to the shorter throne you sat upon. “And you bring it in front of my daughter. I won’t have this. Not in my court.” 

You hid a flinch as the man before the dais was forced to the ground by a free-flowing darkness you could recognize anywhere. 

Your father’s show of power. 

The man screamed and pleaded and you couldn’t remember what had brought him to this, but you knew this was just a ploy by your father to assert his dominance over the court. You breathed through your nose as he continued to scream and plead, pressing your lips into a line and maintaining your mask of neutrality and boredom. 

You were never made out for the life your father expected from you. 

After the man was thoroughly incapacitated and groaning, your father let up and sent him away and you were left feeling sick to your stomach. 

Almost done, you reminded yourself, and then you could rot in your room with nothing to occupy you but the dread of your upcoming fate. You could feel Cassian’s presence at your back and it was somewhat reassuring that he would be rotting along with you. Maybe he would even play cards with you today or you could pass the time begging him to help you with your magic.

He always denied with an apologetic expression and you knew, deep down, that he would never agree to anything. The back and forth was simply a way to get through the day. 

The doors to the throne room burst open with a loud boom, startling you out of your roaming thoughts. You sat up in alarm when a small brigade of soldiers dressed in Day Court armor marched in, preceding a well-built, stoic-looking man with a grimace plastered on his face. 

You whipped around to look at Cassian in an uncharacteristic act of impropriety. Cassian looked just as lost as you were, but he blinked away the concern and sent you a reassuring nod as if he had everything under control. You watched his ruby siphons flicker and his fists clench as he clasped them together by his thighs, but you turned around. You had to turn around because you were not supposed to consult a guard about matters of your court. 

A quick glance at your father told you that he was surprised as well, but pleasantly. “Blaise,” your father greeted, clapping with the word. You hid another flinch. “I was not expecting you today.” 

“Clearly,” Blaise snarked, stopping before the thrones at the head of the room. “Your full court is not even here. Where is your heir?” 

Your father’s expression morphed into a glare. “Training,” he said. And then, “But that shouldn’t be what concerns you. Your bride is just beside me.” 

The world slowed, your thoughts and the movements of those around you sticky and heavy. You thought you might have opened your mouth but the action was delayed and it was hard to find the path to your muscles. Your chest caved. The light in the room became dim. 

Blaise smirked and trailed his gaze to your figure. He let his eyes rove from your feet up to your face, so unhurried, so lax. As if you were already something he owned and he could take all the time he wished. In a way, you guessed he could—it wasn’t as if you had anywhere else to be.

“Huh.” Blaise stuck his tongue against his cheek. “Come.” 

You blinked as the man stuck his hand out and waved his fingers in three harsh motions, beckoning you to him as if you were a dog. 

It felt like you’d been doused in ice water as onlookers watched you expectantly. Rhys had told you he was buying more time. Cassian had told you. Azriel sent shadows to your room and you took them as signs of something. But before you stood your betrothed and behind you stood Cassian and there was nothing to be done. 

You looked over to your father. 

“This is Blaise. He is a duke in Day. You shall be married. Go to him,” he commanded, nodding towards the stern brow in the center of the throne room.

“Father—” 

“Go to him.” 

You rose. Everything fell off its axis, a rush of lightheadedness making you lose your balance and lean back to grip the arm of the throne. A steady hand on your elbow grounded you. You didn’t even need to turn to know it was Cassian, but you did, anyway. 

Hazel eyes bore back into yours, devastation and determination mingling in the hues. Something dropped in your stomach and something else made you tear your gaze away and stare at your fate head-on. Cassian’s fingers lingered. They pulled away when you fully righted yourself. 

“Do you give me an ill bride, High Lord?” Blaise accused with a mean raise of his brow. 

“Of course not. Do not insult me.” No further explanation. 

You passed your tongue across your drying lips and took the steps down to meet Blaise, the man instantly snatching your hand and raising it above your head. He walked around you, inspecting you as if you were something to be appraised before buying, and nodded after completing the circle. Then, to set your stomach rolling, he swooped down and pressed his mouth to your ear. You heard a rushed step behind you, but the sound was drowned out by hot breath and whispers. 

“You’ll do nicely, given that you’re house-trained. Virgin?” 

You pushed back on his armored chest to gain some distance and Blaise cackled, knocking his head back in delight. 

“A bit skittish, but that’s fine. You said she’ll be used to Day? Definitely not staying here.” 

Your father hummed, taking a bored sip from his chalice. “She’s spent time in Day. Her mother hails from the court.” 

The rest of the conversation was lost to buzzing. 

~~

Cassian was wrought with panic. 

He had already opened his mind and shared the information with Rhys, but Rhys was still honing his daemati abilities and Cassian had no idea if his brother even got the information. 

He hid his panic behind a stone wall of neutrality and malice as he walked you back to your room, cataloging the way you took even steps and stared blankly at the walls in front of you. His facade was breaking down with each step you took; you seemed to be escaping into yourself and Cassian was becoming increasingly worried. 

Part of not being able to practice and control your magic came the dangers of it overtaking you. No one was sure if you harnessed daemati powers like your father and brother, but if you did and weren’t aware, you could get stuck. Cassian had witnessed Rhys’s struggles with that when he was first learning to control his magic and emotions were high. 

The moment your bedroom door clicked shut, Cassian’s hands were on your face. 

“Y/n? Hey, look at me,” he urged, tucking his wings into his back because maybe the light from your windows would help somehow.

When you didn’t look, a faraway haze to your eyes, he shook you, rattling your head in desperation. You should be screaming, crying, begging him to let you leave after what you just discovered. And, instead, you were blank. 

His next demands were stern. “Y/n, I can’t get Rhys here. You need to snap out of this. I don’t know how to help you.” 

You breathed a little deeper, but no change. 

“Fuck.” Cassian looked around the room, his head whipping back and forth as he searched for anything that could help. For Rhys, it was easier to develop skills to get him out of this state because he had been expecting it. For you, there was no prep, no warning.

Cassian turned back to you, his heart pounding out of his chest. If he couldn’t get you out of this before your father noticed—

He saw your eyes shift and something clicked. 

You were staring intently at the red siphon gleaming on Cassian’s chest, blinking quicker the longer you stared. 

“This helping?” Cassian murmured, yanking the siphon from his chest without care to hold it up to your eye level. “Okay, we’ll work with that.” You blinked even more with the tone of his voice and Cassian took that as motivation. “Keep working yourself out of this, sweetheart. You do this and I’ll teach you how to use a blade. Haven’t you been asking? Dumb question—you’ve been asking since we were twenty but—”

Cassian cut off his rambling when the first few tears fell down your cheeks. He watched each as they fell, wiping them away with his thumbs as he waited. And waited. And then you choked out a sob, and as much as he hated the sound, relief flooded through him at your state of consciousness. 

“You—you said there was more time,” you stressed, stumbling over your tears. “Rhys… he told me there was more time.” 

Cassian shook his head as he spoke. “I know. I know, sweetheart, but we’ll figure it out, okay? Me, Rhys, and Az. We can—” 

“You can’t do anything,” you cried. Your breath was picking up. “No one has been able to do anything my entire life. Not my brother or you or even myself. I—Cassian, I was only born to do this. No one cares about anything else. You’re only here because my father willed you to be. Because it serves his agenda to have you guarding me.”

Cassian’s fingers buzzed as he wiped more and more tears from your face. He kept opening his mouth to say something, anything, but it didn’t matter. Nothing would make up for this. 

“I—I can’t. I can’t be married to that man. Being locked in here was bad enough. Being coddled and prepped for my entire life was enough. I’m not a princess, Cassian. I’ve never wanted to… and now I…” 

You were hyperventilating now, raucous inhales colliding with heavy, painful exhales. You dropped to your hands and knees and Cassian followed suit but with the sole purpose of propping you up and placing a steady hand on your stomach. You fought him, desperate to claw at the ground and escape the world, but Cassian wouldn’t have it. 

“I need you to breathe,” Cassian requested, his words firm but soft. “I need you to focus on how I’m touching you and I need you to breathe into my hand.” 

He’d done this before, it was familiar. 

You used to get panic attacks anytime your father forced you to stay at the Palace for a weekend to view one of the many horrors at the Court of Nightmares. Rhys helped, but it was Cassian who noticed the tells—the uneven breaths, the panic in your gaze. It was Cassian who felt pain himself each time your throat closed. 

You shook your head at Cassian’s demand, clawing at your chest. 

“Yes, y/n. Try. For me, please.” 

He could tell you were trying, even as you continued to shake your head until that ridiculous crown toppled onto the floor. You tugged at the shimmering black material on your chest and never broke eye contact with Cassian and you tried. 

Slowly, eventually, Cassian saw your chest stutter and your breath begin to even out. 

“That’s it,” he praised, rubbing his thumb along the boning of your dress. Your lashes fluttered until your eyes closed. “That’s it, baby,” he muttered, the endearment slipping past and getting lost in the air. 

You reached down and gripped Cassian’s wrist. “I’m okay now. I think I’m okay.” 

“You sure?” 

You nodded. “I mean, I’m not okay. But I can breathe and think.” 

“Those are accomplishments I guess.” 

“I don’t think this is part of your job description,” you joked, the small laugh that followed half-hearted and weak. 

Cassian smiled. “Did the other guards do it?” 

“I can’t say they did.” 

Cassian readjusted his position on the floor and shifted you to no longer sit on your knees. He brushed your hair back and fixed the neckline of your dress. 

“You scared me,” he admitted, still focused on adjusting the mess you’d made of yourself. 

“I’ve had panic attacks before.” 

“No, not that. You got stuck, I think. Like how Rhys would when he was first learning to use his daemati abilities.”

“Don’t tell my father.” The words were so quick from your mouth that Cassian shot up to look at you. “Don’t. I already have a difficult time with the court abilities and I don’t need him to—” 

“Y/n, I would never tell him,” Cassian interrupted, a furrow in his brow. “Why would you ever think I would do that to you.” 

You cast your gaze down. “Well, I don’t know. You’re in his employ—you have to report to him and be loyal. The other guards—” 

“I am not another guard.” 

“Well, I obviously know that. But I just wasn’t sure where that part of you started and my friend ended.” 

Cassian closed his eyes for a long, disappointed beat. 

It was pretty obvious that Cassian was in love with you—at least, it was pretty obvious to himself as of three weeks ago. The moment he saw you again after months away, all pretty and sequestered away and so happy to see him you were glowing, he knew he was a goner. There had been hints of it when he was growing up, but seeing you again made it hit him full force. 

Of course, you could never know, because as much as you said you weren’t and were adamantly against the title, you were a princess, and Cassian didn’t want to add more stress to the plethora of horrors in your life. 

Still, the realization of his feelings only made your questioning tone hurt that much more. 

“Y/n, look at me.” Eyes met in your bedroom. Cassian kept his hands in his lap and you had your fingers pressed to the ground. “My only goal is to keep you alive and happy. I frankly don’t give a shit about your father. Everything I do or have done has been to keep you safe. He isn’t safe, so I make sure to follow his orders because not doing so is dangerous for you. Rhys… Rhys has been keeping close tabs on the situation from the outside and informs me what I need to divulge or keep secret. Nothing has ever been done out of loyalty to your father.” 

You released your bottom lip from your teeth and Cassian watched your shoulders sag in relief. He was about to say more, but then you launched yourself into his chest and his arms were wrapping around you without him willing them to. He had to stop the two of you from lying flat on the floor, jutting an arm out to stabilize the hug before bringing it back around to rest in your hair.

“I thought I'd lost you for a little while there,” you admitted, your face buried in Cassian’s shoulder. 

Guilt ate at his heart. “I thought you said you understood why I was making you stay?” 

“I did,” you mumbled. “Or, I thought I did. I knew you wanted to keep me safe, but I thought you also wanted to please my father.” 

Cassian dragged you back from his chest, hands resting along your head and back. “I’m sorry it felt that way. I have only wanted to please your father for your benefit. I’m—we’re family, y/n—” and I love you, he wanted to add “—you’re my family.” 

You stared back at Cassian, tears still fresh in your eyes and on your face. “Can we leave now?” 

Another piece of Cassian crumbled, shattered. “We can’t. You can’t. Rhys is working on another way out of this but if you try to run right now you know your father will only come after you.” 

“What about the human lands?” you rushed out, hands on Cassian’s chest and so close to his heart. “Or I could go off-continent. I could learn to glamour myself and try. Cassian, I could try.” 

“Y/n, you just got lost in your own head and you have no idea what kind of powers you have beyond that. You have no fighting skills, no way to defend yourself. I know you’re capable, but you’ve had your every need catered since you were born. And your father would be after you. I don’t know if you’d survive.” 

Cassian watched you deflate as he spoke. He brushed his hand up from your back to run a soft touch along your jaw. “And I would come with you—if you ran. But your brother has his head up his ass and he’s going to need help when he becomes High Lord.”

You smiled some—a sad, dejected smile.

“We’re gonna figure this out, sweetheart, just like I told you.” He leaned forward until your foreheads touched. “You’re not going anywhere I can’t go.” 

“And what if none of you can do anything about it?” you whispered.

Cassian ignored the fear that threatened to cease him at the prospect. “Then I’m going to fight like hell until I can.”

Married to the Lord of Bloodshed (One-shot)

A/N: OMG! Thank you all for so much love on the Azriel one. I am literally SHOCKED.

**fair warning: it is unedited, like a rough draft like the last one as I am working on both the series as well. Just had a lot of fun with it!**

Summary: collections of being married to Cassian! Married for fifty years :) 

Word count: 1.6k

triggers: Mentions of intimacy, lots of pet names-like LOTS, that's about it!

***

You, an unlikely match, found yourself married to the formidable Illyrian warrior, Cassian, general of the Night Court. Fifty years of a beautiful marriage under your belt. Meeting at a party that somehow left you both discovering you were mates. Cassian was a completely different male when he was around you compared to how he was at the Illyrian camps. 

Among your cherished moments together…

After a long day working as a healer for the court, your muscles tense. Cassian would very much enjoy rubbing out your sore muscles. You knew he did this to lead to other things.

As you would lay on the bed, flat on your back. Cassian lifts one of your legs to rest on his shoulder as he rubs your calf. With a mischievous smirk, he murmured, “Baby let me take care of you.” The feeling of his rough calloused hands rubbing out your sore muscles from standing all day. You couldn’t help but laugh, attempting to retract your leg from the ticklish sensation.

“Baby, that tickles,” Cassian smirks in response as he applies more pressure. “You think this tickles, I haven’t even started yet” he murmurs as he presses a thumb to your tight calf muscle as he rubs a knot out and notices your reaction as you cover your face. 

“How are your muscles looking? Still sore? Maybe you should take off a few days, you’ve been working really hard. I could stay with you and keep you company.” his gaze meets yours as his hand seems to have traveled to your thigh. 

“Well I’ve been going to this new workout studio before work in the mornings, it’s this new workout called pilates” a soft laugh escaping your lips as he reaches a more tense area in your thigh. His smirk fades a little as he looks at you. 

“You’ve been going to the gym before work? Baby, you work like hours on end. Are you trying to run that body of yours to the ground? It’s beautiful and deserves to be cared for” Cassian states as he leans closer to you pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I never complained about you working so much, but sometimes you worry me. Try to take it easy okay? Maybe we can have a relaxing weekend together, just us, maybe go to the river?” He smiles down at you as he pulls you closer to himself. You knew where this was leading, as soon as his hands moved across your thigh and onto your hips to pull you flush against him as he kissed your lips. “How about I make you feel good tonight, hm? I’ll be gentle” He smirks with a kiss.

***

However, one thing that really was a bummer was being married to a super health-conscious Illyrian. Going to the market was a challenge. Sure you enjoyed that your mate looked out for you. Picking the best fruits and vegetables to cook healthy delicious meals with. 

But sometimes a girl just wants two different types of cake and maybe some cookies. Your monthly was probably starting soon but the sugar cravings were at an all-time high. Yes, Cassian would obviously let you pick up one. Not two, no no, just one. He said too many sweets would burn you out…I mean he was right, but it still sucked to admit it. 

“Mamas, just pick one” Cassian chuckled as he carried the bags of food. Looking at you with a smile as you stood there for the past twenty minutes. Carefully. Picking out the one sweet treat you were allowed for the week. 

You pleaded to him as if you were begging for your life. “My love, it’s so hard, can’t we get the fancy cake and the cheesecake?” You shot him a look that even a puppy would fall for, almost begging for your mate to indulge in your cravings. Pointing at the beautifully decorated chocolate cake that sat right next to its best friend, the cheesecake with the pretty little strawberries sitting on top that just went into season. “I mean look they’re best friends, baby? It’s like you and Azriel, we can’t just break them up”

Cassian smirked looking at you, trying to put up a ‘no’ look for you but the male was weak. You knew he couldn’t say no to your cute pleading face. So the moment you looked up at him, he rolled his eyes.

“Fine. But only this, one time.” He teased with mock sternness, his voice low and playful “Only, because you brought up a compelling argument” 

“I have never loved you more than I have in this very moment, Pookie” You gave him a big smile as you motioned the baker over to box up both the chocolate cake and the cheesecake. 

Cassian was just going to roll his eyes, but he couldn’t say no to his wife’s charms. He looked at you and chuckled, not saying anything as you walked out of the store. Grabbing the bag from you and following you. Though he did make sure to give your ass a tiny pinch on the way out.

“Pookie? I swear you’re going to be the death of me some days, I have a reputation to uphold, you know!” he teased as he walked with you. You both had to pick up a few more items before heading home for the day…

***

Mornings were never your thing you despised mornings. You always opted for the afternoon or night shift when you had to work. Cassian on the other hand was a ray of sunshine in the mornings. Though, he never cared that you didn’t work out with him. Your mate just cared that you would at least move around a bit, whether that was doing yoga with Feyre or taking dance lessons over at the Rainbow. He trained you in self-defense when you first started dating. His wife needed to be able to protect herself at least. 

You unfortunately had the morning shift today. A grumpy walk on the way home, you could winnow home. But, you needed the walk to cool yourself down. A walk down the streets of Velaris led you to a new studio that had just opened with the word  ‘Zumba’ written on the glass.  You peeked in to find music flowing out and a bunch of what seemed like moms dancing. 

Sounds like a good time! 

There were two open spots for tonight. You signed both your and Cassian’s names onto the sign-up sheet. Though you hadn’t asked him yet, you were sure you could be convincing enough. 

Entering his office, you found Cassian engrossed in paperwork for the Illyrian camps. “Baby, my love, my sweet honey bear, snookums” you whispered in his ear as you leaned over his shoulder. Carefully not pressing weight down on his wings. 

A soft hum escaped his lips as he reached for your hand. Pressing a small kiss on your palm as he kept reading a document for supplies. “What is it my love” he murmured clearly not paying attention to you. 

“There’s this class going on tonight and I would really love you if you would join me,” you kissed his ear and then his neck. “Pretty please”

“Mm, what sort of class?” He hummed. Although Cassian would agree to anything for you, he couldn’t help but find your sweetness after work unusual, yet endearing. Usually, you were a snapping turtle, especially once you discover soon that he ate the last piece of cake while you were at work. 

“It’s like a workout class with live music, seems fun right? Please baby…pretty please my big strong Illyrian male that I love so much” you whined as you kissed his neck with peppered kisses. Use your other hand to rub his chest. 

“Yeah, we can go, let me get ready then” just the confirmation you needed. You pulled away from him and with a happy smile, just about to leave him to his paperwork. Before you knew it, Cassian had swept you off your feet, a playful gesture that spoke of what was to come when he carried you over his shoulder to your shared bedroom. 

****

Stepping into the ‘Zumba’ studio, Cassian realized that facing war and bloodshed paled in comparison to the challenge of dancing with a group of determined mothers on a Tuesday night. These females seemed as if they were ready for war. Strapped with their sweatbands and their workout clothes. Cassian was definitely out of place, a few of the fae women gave him curious glances as he stood in the back. The mirrors clearly show him towering over everyone, his massive wings were tucked close to his body, straining as if they sought freedom from the small studio. His small wife was beside him, grinning ear to ear as she looked up at him full of excitement. 

How could he refuse when she looked that happy?

As the class concluded, Cassian found himself drenched in sweat, a testament to the intensity of the workout. Sure, he was in perfect shape, he’s had about 500 years of training. Of course, he was a fit male. 

But this tortuous dance class had him wheezing and gasping for air while these moms did the cardio squats like it was nothing. A few of the moms even gave him some fist bumps, humbling the poor lord of bloodshed. 

Grabbing your hand as you both left the studio, a smile formed and tugged on his lips as he reluctantly said, “Mamas, I need one of those pinky drinks you love so much.” Wiping the sweat from his brow, he looked at you expecting to lead the way to your favorite cafe.

ACOTAR Bat Boys x Reader "I want to get you pregnant" Crack Fic

a/n: Wrote this when I just downed a bottle of wine, likely drunk/tispy. There might be some errors, but were all here for a crack fic right?

Summary: You telling the ACOTAR men you want to get them pregnant and their responses.

Word Count: Around 1k probably

Warnings: Pure Crack, maybe some would say fluff? mentions of sexual intercourse.

**Literally so unedited and wrote when I was tipsy **

Azriel

You walked into the kitchen to find your mate cooking dinner. A hum on his lips as he flips the vegetables in the pan. Still wearing his Illyrian leathers, the male looked so...alluring and desirable. The words almost fall out of your mouth as you lean against the wall looking at your mate cooking in the kitchen.

"I want to impregnant you so hard right now"

Azriel's lips turned upwards, the shadows along his frame seemed to flow slowly as he smiles with a smirk. "is that so? I'm pretty sure you don't have the parts for that my love" as he continues to cook dinner. Not looking your way. With a huff you walk over to him.

"Doesn't mean that I don't want to, you would be such a good pregnant Illyrian"

A low chuckle escapes his lips when you walk your way over to him hugging him from behind as he cooks, "Please never say those words ever again, are you having baby fever again" Using his other hand pats your hand that has settled on his waist. You seemed to huff a point, not earning much of a reaction from the shadow singer and have admitted defeat in antagonizing him. Perhaps he was used to weird comments, still didn't mean you wished you couldn't get him pregnant though.

Cassian

"You want to what?" Cassian laughs as he strips off his leathers from training. His pecks were just out there and the words just fell from your lips.

"I want to get you pregnant" you pouted as you sat on the bed watching the man strip. His pecks bouncing, sometimes you thought they were bigger than yours. You could already see it, him lactating that is. Another laugh escapes Cassian's lips as he unties his hair and lets it drop to his shoulder length. His hazel eyes meet yours as you look at him with a pout.

"Baby, you don't got the parts. I have the parts" Cassian tries not to laugh this time, "if you want a babe, we can make one, but I won't be the one pregnant" covering the smile from his face with his hand as he looks away.

Oh stars, not the water works

"I j-just, I just want to make you carry the baby" the tears were rolling and Cassian began counting the days in his head.

Yep, it was that time of the year when his smoosh would start having the wildest thoughts and cry over literally anything.

Cassian came over to you, pulling you onto his lap and stroking your hair. Finally saying something, "As long as nothing goes up my ass, we can try" A smile tugged your lips as you look up at him. Giving him a quick peck, "I promise" you murmur.

Rhysand

Your mate has not given you attention all day.

In fact, he has been so busy on paperwork, he hasn't even looked your way when you tried on your new lingerie. Making your way towards him, leaning over his shoulder, pressing your breasts into his back. Nothing worked as the male ignored you.

How dare he

You came up behind him, kissing his Illyrian tattoos on his neck. A soft hum escaping him, almost claiming that he was almost done.

"I want to try something, my lord"

A quirk of his eyebrow, he finally looks over at you with a sigh says, "my love, you know I hate when you say that"

"I want to get you so swollen and pregnant" you mutter on his neck as he takes a sip of his drink. As soon as those words fall from his mouth, the water seems to have been spat out on all his important paperwork.

A flick of his hand, the papers are now dry and he moves to face you with a grin on his face.

"You want to what?" he looks at your lips and then your eyes, "get me pregnant?" he smirks as he pulls you onto his lap. Stradling his waist.

"My love, we both know you would be the one swollen pregnant, is that what you want?" he kisses your neck as his hand seems to have traveled to sensitive spots.

Oddly enough, it seemed to have work in your favor. The two of you spent the whole evening doing the most sinful of things. You even had markings and a contraceptive tonic next to you the next day with a note that said:

"Were not ready for kids yet my love. But I do enjoy making them" -Your very handsome mate

You smirked as you rolled over to fall back to sleep.

ACOTAR x "Can we be something more?"

Headcannons

Summary: Telling your fuck buddy that you want to be more than friends. Includes: Azriel, Cassian, and Amarantha

WC: 1.6k

Warnings: Crackship (Amarantha x reader), Pet names (Pet, Sweetheart), Mostly Fluff

Azriel

Finding you in the hallway of Hewn City, you were dropping off healing potions and heading back to Velaris. Azriel, however, trailed after you, pushing you into the dark hallway, peppering your neck with kisses as he raised your wrists above your head with one hand.

“I missed you,” he murmured into your ear, nipping the lobe as he continued his conquest.

You couldn’t stop the moans escaping your lips, trying to quiet them as his other hand raised your leg to lift you, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he pressed you hard into the wall.

“Az…” you pleaded as his lips met yours, softly tugging your bottom lip. He stopped and tilted his head to the side.

“Not into it today?” Azriel muttered in confusion. You always loved him doing this to you. You always let him mark you. Why not today? Were you seeing someone else? Were you already bored of him?

You shook your head as he gently placed you back on the ground, yet still kept his chest pressed into yours. His hazel, golden eyes pierced your own.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” you murmured sheepishly, tearing your glance away from his. Using his hand, he lifted your chin to face him as he nodded, encouraging you to inform him of your thoughts.

“I want to be something more with you…” Your gut was telling you, no, screaming at you that you knew how this would play out. The infamous spymaster being with the likes of a healer? You two were opposites; he inflicted pain while you cured it. When you both started this friends with benefits situation, he strictly stated no feelings attached.

He placed his head on your shoulder, hunched over as he nipped the skin. You could feel heat on his cheeks. Was the spymaster…blushing? You went to say something, and in a moment he nipped again as if telling you not to speak.

Azriel took a deep breath, his face still buried in the crook of your neck. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest, each beat a reminder of how vulnerable this moment was for both of you. His shadows laced around the both of you, perhaps protecting this moment from curious eyes. Slowly, he lifted his head, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch.

“You want more?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but the weight of his words hung in the air between you.

You nodded, the words sticking in your throat. You had never felt this way before, not with anyone, and certainly not with someone as guarded and complex as him. Yet, for yourself, you couldn’t deny your feelings any longer. “Yes, I…I can’t keep pretending this is casual for me. I know what we agreed on. I want more, Azriel.”

Azriel’s eyes softened, the golden flecks in his hazel gaze catching the dim light of the hallway. He cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. “I never thought I’d hear you say that,” he admitted, his voice raw with emotion. “I was scared to think that I could deserve you.”

Your heart ached at his words. “You deserve everything, Az. You deserve to be loved, truly and completely. You’re not as bad as you think you are.”

His eyes closed for a moment with a sigh escaping those soft lips of his, as if absorbing the truth of your words. When he opened them again, there was a determination there, a resolve that made your heart skip a beat. “If you want more, then more you shall have,” he said firmly. “No more hiding, no more pretending. I want you, all of you. And I want to be yours.”

A wave of relief washed over you, and you pulled him into a fierce kiss, pouring all your feelings into the embrace. He responded with equal fervor, his hands roaming your back, anchoring you to him.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless with swollen lips, but the smiles on your faces mirrored each other. “Let’s get out of this hell first,” Azriel suggested, his voice husky. “Let’s go somewhere we can talk, like actually talk. I want us to do this properly.”

You nodded eagerly, your heart soaring. As you walked hand in hand out of the dark hallway.

Cassian

You both had met at Rita’s, sharing nights between each other after your first one-night stand with him. It started off small: alleyway hookups, bathroom trysts, to him coming over to your apartment, and even dropping off flowers at your job.

You currently lay in bed after a long session, your sore muscles protesting as you stretched. Noticing he wasn’t there, you crept out of bed and down the hallway, finding him on your couch lazily reading camp reports. When Cassian looked up and noticed you, he put the documents down and a smile planted itself on his face.

“Awake already? You passed out pretty fast,” he teased, opening his arms for you to come snuggle into his broad chest. You padded over to him, sitting on his lap and burying your face into the crook of his neck. Cassian wrapped an arm around your waist, his other hand moving to your chin to tilt your head towards him as he planted a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Working already?” you murmured against his lips, eliciting a groan from him as you reminded him. You looked into his eyes, seeing the warmth in them. To others, he was the lord of bloodshed; to you, he was sweet and gentle. Tender moments like these made your heart race.

He cupped your face with both his hands, “You’re so pretty,” he murmured, gently kissing your cheek, under your eye, the tip of your nose, and then your lips.

“Cass, can I ask you something?” you pouted as he smooshed your cheeks with his huge hands.

“Anything,” he smirked.

“Can we be something more?”

Cassian tilted his head in confusion. “What did you think we were?” he muttered, moving his hands from your cheeks to your shoulders. You looked at him, confused. “I thought we were just friends with benefits,” you murmured sheepishly, your cheeks turning pink at the words.

Cassian tried not to laugh as he looked at your features, as if taking you in. “Friends with benefits don’t bring flowers in front of your coworkers. Friends with benefits don’t bring their toothbrushes and important work documents to the other’s house. I honestly thought we were dating,” Cassian laughed a little as he looked at you, the shocked expression on your face.

“You mean, you thought we were already dating?” you muttered under your breath, looking at the kind expression on his face as he nodded.

“Perhaps we could have communicated that,” he murmured as he looked at your lips. “But I’ve been all in since that moment you let me bang you on the side of Rita’s, sweetheart.” He chuckled as he pinched your cheek just as you were about to huff at him for teasing you.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the tension melting away. “Well, in that case, I guess we’re official now,” you said, a playful glint in your eyes.

Cassian’s expression softened further, his eyes gleaming with emotion. “More than official,” he murmured, pulling you closer. “I’m yours, and you’re mine. No more guessing.”

A lump formed in your throat as the depth of his words sank in. “Deal,” you whispered, sealing it with a kiss.

Crack ship for this one: Amarantha

You’re nestled in the bedsheets next to the general of Hybern, the self-proclaimed High Queen of Prythian. Her long nails trail against your body as you stir awake from your last session together. You give her a sleepy smile, one that she returns along with a kiss on your lips.

“My queen,” you mutter gently, to which she raises a brow.

“Yes, pet?” She lines your jaw with her nail as she gazes into your eyes.

“Can we be…something more?” You manage to stutter out as she lines your bottom lip with her nail. If she wanted to, she could cut it open right then and there. Yet today she is gentle.

“Something more than a pet,” Her hand stops as she grips your chin to look at her, her eyes darkening.

“Are you that obsessed with me?” Her smile turns sinister. “Mother above, you must be sick in the mind to want to be more than a pet. You want me to be all yours, don’t you?” She croons as she plants a rough kiss on your lips. Small whimpers escape your lips.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” you manage to pant out as she breaks the kiss, earning a feline grin from her as she leans into your ear.

“The only thing you will ever be is my pet, my concubine,” she purrs, her voice dripping with a dark amusement.

A laugh escapes her lips, a sound that sends shivers down your spine. “Girlfriend?” She muses, as if the word itself is a joke. “Oh, sweet pet, you are amusing. Why would I limit myself to such a mundane role when I have you exactly where I want you?”

You feel your heart sink at her words, but the power of her presence keeps you enthralled. “But I… I care about you,” you stammer, your voice barely above a whisper.

“And I enjoy your company,” Amarantha replies, her nails now gently scratching your scalp. “But don’t mistake my amusement for affection, pet. You are here for my pleasure, nothing more.”

You swallow hard, the sting of her words mixing with the lingering pleasure of her touch. “I understand,” you say softly, trying to mask the hurt in your voice.

Stubborn (Drabble)

Summary: Taunting Cassian, you silly little thing. 😎

SMUT!! ** Minors do not interact under the cut **

Warnings: FILTHYYY, Bratty!Reader x Brat tamer!Cassian, Slight degradation, spanking, no plot just smut, unedited as per usual when it comes to smut, I get shy :3 WC: 1k

You really did it this time. You pissed him off.

Cassian already had a frustrating day, and you were no help. The tension between you two had been simmering all day and that's how you ended up in this moment with you hair bundled in his fist as he had you over his knee with his other had landing hard smacks on your ass.

Cassian would chuckle as you gasped, the wetness already pooling between your thighs as he would land another punishing slap.

"That's for being a brat," He said, his voice low and stern. Fuck, you loved it when he was stern, the way the general in him would come out. Lecturing you and all that crap. You knew what you were doing taunting him, shooting him snide remarks all day at the camps.

Another slap, this time on the back of your thighs earning another gasp from your lips. As his hand rubbed the sore bruising marks, keeping you on guard for his next attack.

He finally smacked again, harder this time, "And that's for pushing me all damn day." A yelp escaped your lips, you felt your eyes water with that one. You squeeze your legs together as your body trembled.

A movement that would not go unnoticed, Cassian had that stupid smirk on his face. Without warning, he pushed your legs further apart.

"Now, now sweetheart," he purred, the male fucking purred, "None of that. We're far from done here, count to twenty" He landed another hard slap on your ass. You gasped as you counted, each spank was either hard or just as hard as the last one. If you stuttered? Good fucking luck with that because he would just mock you.

"Crying already baby? Come on, I know you can take these. It's only twenty" He crooned as he rubbed your red backside. "You really like being punished don't you?"

You only whimpered as his hand trailed between your legs, rubbing that little bundle of nerves. "So wet f'me already?" he hummed as he spread your pussy lips, exposing your cunt to the cold air right before inserting his finger into your dripping heat. He was soft and gentle at first, teasing your entrance as he pushed one of his digits inside.

"Look at you, so docile now" Cassian murmured "Just needed to be put in your place didn't you?" You nodded your head as he kept a smooth rhythm, inserting another finger inside you. "Fuck baby, you're so messy already"

The lewd noises causing a blush to form on your face as he kept that slow pace between your legs. Dragging his fingers in and out. You tried to move your hips but he would just hold you down like it was nothing.

"Mm? This is a punishment sweetheart, none of that. Just let me play with your pussy mkay?" Cassian hummed as his fingers were stretching your wet cunt, a mewl escaped your lips when he would curl them in the right spot.

****

Now don't even think about when he finally presses you against that desk of his. Pushing all of that paperwork aside, your breasts flush against the wooden desk as he spreads your legs. The way he lines up his cock against your entrance, teasing you as he slowly inserts it.

"Oh gods" You whimper as you feel the stretch, inch by inch. "You're so...fuck..you're so.." you were just babbling at this point. Earning another low and dark chuckle from Cassian's lips.

"You say that every time baby, but you take me so well. The way your pussy tightens around me...fuck" He groans as he pushes the rest of his length into you, earning another curse from your lips. "Shhh baby, Azriel is in the next room...fuck that made you tighter" Cassian groaned his big rough hands resting on your hips as he pulls out halfway before ramming back into you.

"Sweetheart you..." Cassian had to bite his lip to not groan, fuck you were too tight. "Gotta relax f'me baby, can barely move with the way that pretty cunt of yours is gripping my cock." His rhythm slow as he moves in and out of you. His free hand gripping your hair and pulling your face up as he leans behind you. His cock hitting that sweet spot. Your moans and squelches of your pussy filled the room.

"Ah...fuck...Cass.." You groaned as his pace quickened, your juices making a mess of the floor with each punishing thrust. Cassian's hips were relentless with hitting that pretty spot of yours occasionally brushing against your cervix. "Ah Cass...I can't...fuck...I need to cum" You whimpered, you could feel those hot tears rolling down your face as he bullied his cock into you.

"Not-uh baby, I'm going to cum first, you think brats get to cum?" He said as he pulled your hair back. His free hand landed a loud smack on your ass earning another whimper from you. You were trying, really trying not to cum, biting your lip as he would get you close to a point and then change the rhythm.

That fucking jerk.

You could tell by the way his pace was going, he was close. Fuck he needed that release. The way he would pull all the way out and then ram his fat cock into your pussy, his tip hitting your spot. Your eyes rolled back with drool coming out. "I'm going to fill this pretty pussy kay?" You couldn't respond, after all, he literally fucked you into submission. No more sassy remarks, you weren't sure you remembered what got you into this situation.

You felt him pull out and then slowly push his cock back in as he came earning a groan from his lips. Cassian sounded so pretty when he came. That low raspy groan that would escape his lips, the way you could feel his cock twitch inside you. The hot sticky cum seeping out as he pulled out his thick cock. Just so his fingers could push the cum back inside you as your legs trembled.

"My sweet brat" He whispered next to your ear as his fingers curled inside your pussy.

The Price of Protection- Cassian x Fem!Reader one shot

Warnings: No happy end. Angst

Summary: When a looming threat endangers her mission and the lives of thousands at risk, y/n is forced to lie to her beloved to protect him. As Cassian faces her growing emotional distance and deceit, he grapples with the pain of betrayal and the burden of her hidden sacrifice.

Y/n's life was never an easy one. Born to a barely there mother and a nonexistent father in the Court of Nightmares, she endured and witnessed the horrors that came with being a part of such a place. The Court was a realm steeped in shadows and cruelty, where survival often meant navigating a landscape of constant danger and manipulation. From a young age, y/n learned to guard her emotions and trust sparingly, traits that were as vital as her ability to navigate the treacherous politics of her surroundings.

Her mother’s presence was a mere whisper in the background, leaving y/n to fend for herself amidst the ruthless environment. The Court's atmosphere was one of constant strife and fear, where the games of power played by those in authority were unforgiving. The lack of a stable family structure only heightened her sense of isolation, making every victory and setback a solitary experience.

Despite the harsh conditions, y/n's resilience shone through. She found a path forward not by succumbing to the darkness around her but by using it to fuel her own drive. Her sharp intellect and strategic mind allowed her to rise above the turmoil, catching the eye of those who recognized her potential and offered her opportunities beyond the Court's suffocating grip. It was through these opportunities that she managed to distance herself from her past, slowly carving out a role in the Night Court that leveraged her hard-earned skills and determination.

Y/N's transition from the Court of Nightmares to the Night Court was a painstaking journey, but it was within the Night Court that she encountered Cassian. Their first meeting had been marked by an unexpected clash of wills and perspectives. Y/N, in her role as a diplomatic liaison, was tasked with negotiating delicate agreements, while Cassian, with his commanding presence and warrior’s instinct, was often involved in the security aspects of the court. Their paths crossed during a particularly tense diplomatic event, where their differing approaches initially created friction.

However, over time, their mutual respect began to bridge the gap between them. Cassian admired Y/N's intelligence and unwavering determination, while she found solace in his strength and steadfastness. Their interactions, once marked by professional courtesy, evolved into a deep and transformative relationship. Each day, they helped mend the scars left by their pasts—Cassian offering a sense of safety and acceptance Y/N had rarely known, and Y/N providing Cassian with a perspective that complemented his own, a balm to his more battle-worn experiences.

For Y/N, Cassian was a revelation. His presence was both commanding and comforting, a stark contrast to the cold, ruthless environment of the Court of Nightmares. She found solace in his straightforwardness and the way he seemed to understand her unspoken fears. The strength he exuded wasn’t just physical but emotional, offering a sense of stability that she had longed for. His unwavering support helped her shed the armor she had built over the years, revealing a vulnerability she had kept hidden for so long.

Their relationship blossomed in the spaces between their shared duties and personal moments. Quiet evenings spent discussing their day, gentle encouragements, and the occasional playful banter became the highlights of their time together. They supported each other through the demanding nature of their roles, with Cassian often finding respite in Y/N’s insightful perspectives and Y/N drawing strength from Cassian’s steadfast loyalty.

Slowly but surely, their bond deepened. They would steal moments of peace from their busy lives—walking through the moonlit streets of the Velaris, sharing unhurried meals, or simply enjoying each other’s company in the solitude of their private quarters. Each day they spent together was a step towards healing, a reminder that despite their tumultuous pasts, they could find joy and solace in each other.

It was during one of these quiet moments, as they sat together in the soft glow of the evening, that y/n began to feel the full weight of her dual existence. The laughter they shared and the affection they displayed were genuine, but they were also tinged with a sense of impending challenge. y/n was acutely aware that her carefully maintained balance was about to be tested.

Her secret was a mission so covert that its revelation would endanger not just her life but the stability of the entire realm. Unbeknownst to anyone in the Night Court, y/n was part of an underground network dedicated to countering a covert, sinister plot orchestrated by an enemy faction. The supporters of the king of Hybern. This faction sought to destabilize the Night Court by sowing discord and manipulating key figures from the shadows. Y/N's involvement required her to gather intelligence, disrupt covert operations, and ensure that the enemy’s plans remained thwarted.

Her mission involved infiltrating various circles and manipulating events without revealing her true allegiance. She had taken measures to ensure that her role in this shadowy endeavor was completely obscured, even from those she cared about. The weight of this secrecy was immense; it required her to maintain a facade of normalcy and trustworthiness while orchestrating actions that could shift the balance of power within the realm. Y/n's ability to manage this dual life was crucial not only for the success of her mission but for her own survival, making each day a careful balancing act between her public persona and her hidden responsibilities.

The more she grew close to Cassian, the harder it became to maintain this secret. The weight of her hidden mission, coupled with her growing love for him, created an inner turmoil that she struggled to keep in check. She was determined to shield him from the dangerous reality she was entangled in, even if it meant carrying the burden of her secret alone.

As they continued to build their life together, Y/N was haunted by the knowledge that her mission could one day force her to make choices that would impact their relationship in ways she could scarcely imagine. The deeper their bond grew, the more complex the challenge of keeping her secret became, making each day a delicate balancing act between the life she shared with Cassian and the covert world she navigated in silence.

"You have to cut your ties with him and you know it."

Y/n switched her gaze from the wall she had been staring at for who know's how long and looked at the male standing in front of her. The harsh lines of his face were illuminated by the flickering light of a solitary candle, casting shadows that seemed to deepen the severity of his words. His eyes, cold and unyielding, bore into her with an intensity that left no room for argument.

“What are you suggesting?” Y/N’s voice was steadier than she felt, betraying none of the turmoil churning within her. Her hands, clenched at her sides, were the only sign of her internal struggle.

The male’s-Bram's- lips curved into a grim, humorless smile. “You know exactly what I’m suggesting. The mission’s success depends on it. If Cassian remains in your life, he could jeopardize everything. You’ve seen the threats. The enemy is watching, waiting for any sign of vulnerability.”

Y/N’s heart clenched at the thought of severing her connection with Cassian. The idea was more than just painful—it was unthinkable. They had built a life together, one filled with genuine affection and mutual support. To betray that, to lie to him in such a fundamental way, felt like tearing apart a piece of her very soul.

“He’s not just some distraction,” Y/N said, her voice strained. “He’s… he’s important to me.”

Bram's gaze remained unsoftened, his tone unyielding. “Personal attachments are a luxury you can’t afford right now. If the enemy discovers the extent of your relationship, they will use it against us. The stakes are too high. You need to be pragmatic about this.”

Y/N turned away, staring at the cold stone walls of the room as if they could offer her solace or answers. The weight of the decision pressed down on her, threatening to crush her under its enormity. Her mind raced through the possibilities, the potential consequences of revealing her true role or abandoning her mission.

"And what should I do? Do you expect me to just lie to him and break his heart?"

Bram gave her a cold, insincere smile as he said, "Yes."

“What if I can protect him without ending things?” she asked, desperation lacing her words. “There must be another way.”

Bram shook his head, his expression resolute. “There isn’t. You know that. It’s either your relationship or the mission. You can’t have both without endangering everything you’ve worked for. If he or anyone else finds out- everything we worked for will turn into dust. This is an underground battle that doesn't need to be brought into light. If the high lord finds out, thousands of lives could be at risk."

"No, I can- I can make him swear to secrecy! I can-"

Bram got up from his chair. "Do you know, that they have a secret weapon. And apparently some powerfully bred creatures. My other spies tell me the weapon is so unique, never seen before, with the most unusual powers that no one knows what it can even do. So if anyone outside this organization finds out, how easy do you think it would be for them to just let their weapons out into the world?"

The silence that followed was heavy and oppressive. Y/N struggled to reconcile the demands of her covert mission with the reality of her relationship with Cassian. The two worlds she had worked so hard to keep separate were colliding, and the fallout promised to be devastating.

Finally, she met Bram's gaze again, her expression a mask of resigned determination. “I understand,” she said quietly. “I’ll do what needs to be done.”

As she left the warehouse in the middle of nowhere, y/n thought over and over about how she would end things with Cassian. She had made sacrifices throughout her short but eventful life, not having any remorse for the things she had done. No one had any remorse for her growing up, so why should she ever feel bad whenever she took lives that deserved it?

But this...this was different. The pain of loosing Cassian was too much. She loved him dearly and would rather kill herself than allow this to happen to him. He deserves better. So, so much better.

It's for his own good. For the good of the realms. You can't have him or anyone else killed.

But the pain was unbearable, worsened by the fact that Cassian was not just her beloved, but her mate. She found out about it only two nights ago when she watched him train. Y/n was shocked, happy but most of all, sad. Because she knew it could never last long. Perhaps it was a good thing that he hadn't yet felt the bond because it would make this a little easier.

When she reached the house, he paused in the doorway, her fingers grazing the cold metal handle, her heart aching with the enormity of what she was about to do. Cassian's laughter from a nearby corridor reached her ears, a sound so pure and unburdened that it felt like a cruel contrast to the turmoil roiling within her. She could picture him now—his face alight with the genuine joy and warmth that had drawn her to him in the first place.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N steeled herself. She needed to approach this with the same calm resolve she applied to every diplomatic negotiation, every covert operation. But this was different. This wasn’t about maintaining balance between political factions; this was about unraveling a personal thread that had become crucial to her very sense of self.

As she walked through the hallways toward their shared quarters, every step felt heavier than the last. Memories of their shared moments—quiet talks under the stars, warm embraces, and their laughter echoing through the place—flashed through her mind like a montage of what could have been. The sense of loss was almost unbearable, and she fought to keep her expression composed, her emotions firmly in check.

She reached their door and hesitated before pushing it open. Inside, Cassian was lounging on the sofa, a book open in his lap, his expression relaxed and content. He looked up as the door opened, and his smile, so easy and genuine, faltered for a moment when he saw the look on Y/N's face.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, setting the book aside. “Everything okay?”

Y/N’s heart twisted at the concern in his voice. She could see the love and trust in his eyes, and it made the weight of her decision even more crushing. “Cassian,” she said, her voice cold and controlled, devoid of the warmth that once came so easily. “We need to talk.”

Cassian’s expression shifted to one of concern as he stood and moved toward her. “What’s wrong?”

Her heart was pounding but she managed to keep her mask of indifference as y/n said, "I am leaving."

Cassian’s eyes searched hers, confusion beginning to show. "Wha- I don't understand. You're leaving? Why?"

Now came the hardest bit. Y/n opened her mouth and said the worst thing, the only thing she never wanted to tell him because it was all a lie.

Y/n’s gaze remained detached, her heart aching as she spoke the words she had dreaded. “Because I’ve realized that I no longer have any feelings for you. My priorities have changed, and it’s become clear that staying in this relationship isn’t right for either of us.”

The impact of her words was immediate and devastating. Cassian’s face fell, his shock and pain evident. “You’re saying you don’t love me anymore? That’s why you’re leaving?”

“Yes,” Y/N replied coldly. “I’ve been unfaithful. I’ve been involved with someone else, and it’s clear to me now that our relationship was built on illusions. It’s better for both of us if we end things now, before more harm is done.”

Cassian’s face was a mask of disbelief and hurt. “Unfaithful? And you didn’t even tell me? You’ve been lying to me this entire time?”

Y/N’s heart clenched at the pain in his voice, but she forced herself to maintain her composure. “I’m sorry. I’ve made my decision. I need to move on to a new place, start anew. This is the end of our relationship.”

Cassian's eyes were wide with disbelief as his hand threaded through his hair. "Are you serious? You truly cheated on me?!"

When y/n didn't reply, Cassian came towards her, his eyes full with unshed tears and devastation. "Please, my love, tell me this is a joke. Tell me it's not real."

Y/n forced her voice to stay cold as she said, "No, it's not a joke."

At that moment, she saw how Cassian's expression changed from one of pleading to one of anger and disbelief as his voice too, grew detached.

"I guess I was really the stupid one all this time. Stupid for falling for you even though you used me for your needs."

She forced a laugh and moved past him, pretending not to be affected even though her whole body was shaking. "Believe it or not Cas, you aren't the most wanted male in the world. It was nice to have you to distract myself for a little while but I don't need you anymore."

When she turned around, it pained her, crushed her, to see him regard her with such disgust, such anger. He was clearly holding his rage in, waiting for her to leave. But this was for the best.

His voice like cool ice echoed through the room as he said. "Get your things and get the hell out of here. Pray to the mother that I won't ever see you again because y/n believe me if I do, I won't be as nice as I am now."

And without giving her a chance to reply, he spread out his wings and flew out of the house, leaving her to cry her heart out as she packed her things.

By the time Cassian had come back, y/n was long gone, no trace of her remaining.

They were never meant for a happy end, just borrowed time anyway.

Atleast now he would be safe. Atleast now the mission wouldn't be under jeopardy. Atleast he hates her now, that is for his own good right?....right?

But what about her? How many more times will y/n have to make sacrifices for the greater good? When will she get to keep something to herself, at least once?

It seems like never.

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A/n: Thank you for reading this little thing I wrote!!