Christine X Erik - Tumblr Posts

Here is some more Hero X Villain shipping that i like.

.Tyler Galpin X Wednesday

.Pinhead X Kirsty

.Casey X Kevin ( Split )

.Christine X Erik

.Dramione

here is some of my favorit youtube shipping video of Villian X Heroine and the videos are not mine.

This drawing is from year 2020 and is lousy inspired of leroux Phantom of the Opera

This drawing is from year 2015 and lousy inspired of leroux Phantom of the Opera

here is more villian X Heroine shipping video that i like

YouTube

Kevin Wendell Crumb & Casey Cooke || The Broken [SPLIT]

»… It'd be all right, it's all right,It'd be easier that way …« Watch in HD! [1080p] ——————————————————————————— My new video! It's been a w

This is the Last time. Erik with Full face Mask. AO3 Chapter 13

German Kapitel 13

New Chapter is up at AO3 and Fanfiktion.de Did I ever show u the Soundtrack? No? Ok, here it is. Have fun. CLICK ME

Hello~ Erik's story accompanies me now since, September 2023. The story is actually completed in 40 chapters. I proofread the story over and over again and have to realize… The text is alive. New things come to my mind all the time… maybe it will be more than 40 chapters… and more background story. Cheers

AO3 Slap it

German Klatsch es

Ahhhh Erik and Jago, what a dream team of idiots. I like the dynamic. Originally, Jago was one of the faceless punks. But during the writing process he pushed himself more and more into the foreground. Fun fact: he was a main character in another punk story many, many years ago. In the original text he speaks the Berlin dialect, in English I tried to use the Southern dialect and took the help of an AI. AO3 PUNKS FOREVER

Fanfiktion PUNKS FÜR IMMER

The last few days have been tough. My depression has set me back about 10 years. I'm currently on sick leave. By choice. I rarely do it. But I know I can't do a good job if I feel bad.

So… I thought I'd try to get some dopamine.

After a lot of research, I decided to use DeviantArt for the webcomic upload for now. Someday I'll have the muse to convert the webcomic for Webtoon. But until then, it'll be DeviantArt.

Here is the link to the comic https://www.deviantart.com/azziblackforestpunk After the first 6 pages, I will upload 1 page every Sunday. German timezone. I just can't manage more, besides work and being sick.

Love you tataaaa Azzi

@RiaDCL I hope you will follow me there too :-) I'm happy about each of your likes.

My favorite scene from chapter 4 is done

Well. This is it. The Last Chapter is up. Read it on Ao3 Lies es auf Fanfiktion.de Can't get enough? Read the Comic I made... https://www.deviantart.com/azziblackforestpunk/gallery/90064933/fytcfust-chapter-01

Well well well... She is right. It's over. The Epilogue is Up. Chapter 40 Englisch Deutsch SOOOOO WHAT'S NEXT? As you can see, there is a comic in the making. But what I will write next? I REALLY don't know!

Aftermath ok, so. i'm really impressed with myself. in a good way, actually. as a teenager, i had endless patience when i was drawing. in my 20s, during my graphic design studies, it slowed down a lot and after i passed my bachelor's degree, i really didn't draw at all for a long time. at the end of 2021 i finally got 2 main diagnoses. depression, after 10 years of therapy the diagnosis was finally confirmed. and the most important diagnosis. adhd. in the 90s adhd was not really well diagnosed. many years later i got the reason, the cause, my being, my nature diagnosed. another year later, so in october this year, i got medication and changed my job. during this time, i wrote and finished 1 fanfiction. started a fanfiction (but dropped it after 70 pages) i started to draw a comic from this fanfiction and published it on deviantart. 2 pages per week. i have already finished 6 chapters and have 144 comic pages on my hard disk. so i can be really proud of my work. and you read it. i see the likes here at tumblr. the likes in ao3. the hits and reads. i see visits on instagram. i see my comic pages being favorited in galleries on deviantart. and honestly, i never never never never thought that anyone would like what i do. and it makes me happy from the bottom of my heart to see that you are there. no matter if you like or comment or not. you are there. and if i can give you a little joy with something i deeply love, then i have already gained a piece of quality of life. even though i know 2024 won't be a good year either, maybe i can make it a little better with the comic. just a little bit. Thank you.

A03 - For your the Clocks, for us the Time

Fanfiktion.de - Euch die Uhren, uns die Zeit

Deviantart - FYTCFUTT-Comic

Spotify - Soundtrack

the last day of 2023 has begun in germany. ok ok, it's almost noon, i overslept. it's sunday, i'm allowed to oversleep okay? damn punk! here's a little short story. You can put it in chapter 34 :-)

Ao3 - What kind of Man

Fanfiktion.de - Was für ein Mann

AO3 - Bonus - Glücklich

Fanfiktion.de - Bonus - Glücklich

Erik is trying again to flirt. His love language is so gorgeous

Hi friends. I'm currently editing the fan fiction parallel to the comic. I'm currently trying to concentrate on the english language. It annoys the hell out of me. My school english is terribly rusty, and as a teenager I didn't gave a shit about grammar. And to procrastinate a bit and to give a sign of life from me again, I'm going to babble a bit here. !!!!! Attention spoiler!!!!!! I'm reviewing almost the entire Fanfic here. But I've been asked a few times. You still have the option to cancel here. :-) Okay so, the main diagnoses are AuDHD, PTSD, Social Anxiety and Depression (which occasionally triggers an eating disorder)

However, I have to say explicitly about the eating disorder that it is linked to his feelings and also has a certain AuDHD component. Sometimes it happens that you simply forget to eat because other things seem more important to your brain. And sometimes you're so stressed or depressed that you can't eat. He would really like to, because he actually likes to eat. If it's food that he can eat. Taste and consistency are sometimes not so easy to manage here. That's why Nadir always gets the same dishes from the same snack bar. Per se, Erik doesn't know exactly what he has. As mentioned in the fanfic, he is often told his diagnosis. But he keeps forgetting because he doesn't really care. All he knows is that he doesn't fit in.

In the comic, for example, it also becomes clear that he sometimes has problems being touched and sometimes not. This is also due to the experiences he had as a child. His first caregiver often rejected him. So he finds it difficult to accept Valerie's friendly nature at first. By contrast, he has almost completely blocked out his stepfather. As a result, he follows Gustave without saying a word, but also allows himself to be touched because he unconsciously allows himself to be subjugated.

Erik and Raoul have a strange relationship. First Erik keeps forgetting Raoul's name because it's not important enough, then they tease each other and Erik doesn't really get it. He has no idea what this rivalry is all about, he just reacts to it. Then they beat each other up and make up. He doesn't like him, but that's more because Raoul is a kind of interference field. The connection between Erik and Christine is broken every time Raoul appears on the radar. However, Erik can't categorize this either and only reacts to it. Erik's specialty is music. He is particularly fond of stringed instruments. This is not just a hyper-fixation, it is his absolute specialty. He communicates through music. Music is his language for expressing emotions. Here in particular, I tried to link the emotions via the music lyrics or in the Spotify playlist. Sometimes it's very obvious, like in Chapter 13 - where he covers Everlong by the Foo Fighters. Then it's more subtle, when he just plays and the sounds adapt to his mood. In chapter 15, he talks to Christine about Raoul and how long he's staying away, where he strikes a low chord. He tries to ask it casually, but the situation actually worries him.

Erik's talent for languages and the pronunciation thing. Erik learns languages out of sheer boredom. He started with Farsi because he's a nosy little fucker whom Nadir likes to eavesdrop on. He only learned Swedish to impress Christine. He googled her surname. He had learned Italian for Jago, though Jago came from a Spanish family. Well, with ADHD you tend to mix up languages... Erik's pronunciation is usually very clear. He tries to speak clearly and loudly, due in part as a result of the mask. Also with the fact that music is his real language. As a teenager, he went to a speech therapist for years to overcome his stuttering and lisp. He is missing a tooth, which leaves plenty of room for slurred sibilant sounds. But he has learned to compensate it. If he is not emotionally balanced, the old habits still come out.

Erik is left-handed. I couldn't find anything in the books (Leroux and Kay), or I missed it. Well, my Erik is left-handed. Originally, at the very beginning of this story, his hands were supposed to be a testament to the abuse as well. Fingernails were missing, they were taped, and a fingertip was missing. This symbol became Erik's left-handedness, a short little finger and his skinpicking-coping mechanism (which I purposely didn't discuss in detail so as not to trigger myself :'D Fun fact: There were phases in my life when my hands looked like his...). However, he is "both" handed. He learned to use many instruments like a right-handed, because of the little finger problem. Kurt Cobain was left-handed, he has the guitar on the other side, for example. But not Erik. But his handwriting, as in the original, is just awful. He simply didn't learn it properly and was confused in elementary school about which hand to use.

My Erik is bisexual. But how can that be if he's never had a relationship apart from Christine nodnodnod Well, he's not making a big deal out of it. But he had a crush on a young punk from his "clique" in his teens. No, not Azzi and not Jago. Of course, nothing came of it because he was even more socially maladjusted back then, than in Christine's day. Nevertheless, he feels attracted to both sexes.

Erik and friendships. Oh, boy, that's such a thing. At some point in therapy, the therapist nails him down to the fact that he is very much "capable of relationships" because he obviously has friends of several years' standing. Sometimes we forget that. That we are capable, even if there is perhaps one constant person left among all the arguments and conflicts. And maybe it's also the case that we say "Nope, I don't have any friends" out of self-protection, simply to make it easier to cope with a possible loss. The concept of friendship is a mystery to Erik. He doesn't understand that he and Jago have been friends for a long time. It's clear to Jago, and to Nadir as well. In the late chapters, Jago also makes an appearance. The reason that Erik doesn't reject him is that Jago accepts the boy directly for who he is. He lets him be who he is. He doesn't force him. Through the subculture - punk - he gives him a place outside his room where he is accepted.

Speaking of Nadir. Why is a trained care worker sometimes so incredibly stupid, with Erik? Because he's only human. Nadir loves Erik as if he were his son. But at the same time, he sees the bias, the difficulty of communication and the constant lack of connection. This frustrates him. It disappoints him. He feels almost constantly helpless. But he has chosen Erik. This decision binds him for life. Nadir knows exactly what motivates Erik. But he always wants to challenge him. To take him one step further. To show him some normality - which begs the question, what is normal? He wants to show him what's going on in society. To prepare him step by step. Sometimes in a clumsy way. But he doesn't mean any harm. And Erik knows that too.

Erik and his mother. Oh boy, I'm still gnawing on that a bit, my brain is still spinning little stories about both of them. I didn't let her take up so much space on purpose, but I still wrote an entire chapter to her. His mother was damn young when this contraceptive accident with Charles (Erik's father) happened. One thing leads to another, Charles dies, she is alone. She comes from a dysfunctional family herself. She grieves during the pregnancy and after the birth. She loves her son. Don't get me wrong. She really loved him. But it still wasn't enough. What she did wasn't right. It wasn't enough. She didn't respond to his needs or his desire for attachment and security. She locked him away and didn't validate his emotions (which he couldn't categorize either). Because she couldn't. Because she was so busy with herself and her small, sad world. This insecure-ambivalent attachment still triggers massive problems and anxiety in Erik today. And sometimes her hand slipped. Due to excessive demands. Which is still no excuse. Never.

Erik and his stepfather. Ahhhh I'd like to leave that out. I was thinking about creating a kind of comeback. How the stepfather starts stalking Erik after his release and kidnaps Reza and crazy shit like that. But nope. That's too much for me. His stepfather was a violent asshole. An alcoholic and a narcissist. Unemployed. He often beat Erik up when he had a meltdown, or didn't do his homework, or had to go home early from school, or just because he breathed too loudly. His stepfather gave him the missing little finger, the burn scars, the missing nose and the silver stripes on his back. I dislike this person so much that he has neither a name nor a face. And it stays that way.

Erik, the night owl. At the beginning of the story, you keep reading that he sleeps a lot, that he goes to bed early and that he can get up early (to buy Christine's present). He's just pretending. He can indeed sleep anywhere. Whether on the couch, a mattress or the floor. But he doesn't sleep for long. In bad phases, he hardly sleeps at all. In good phases, he sometimes manages 3 hours at a time. He may appear calm on the outside, but on the inside he is restless and under constant pressure. Disordered thoughts, the urge to create and the fear of nightmares keeps him awake. And yes, the nightmare I described is the tip of the iceberg. Erik dreams a lot and is always restless. He only experiences a state similar to sleep paralysis during bad triggers or depressive phases.

Finally: Sasha. Sasha is a Shepard-Spaniel mix. She is not a therapy dog. But she is Erik's anchor. She is smart, eager to learn and affectionate. There was also a Sasha in Kay's book. Erik learned to walk with the dog there and was able to experience affection through her. Sasha, in my story, keeps Erik in this world. She is his constant. His connection to the outside world. She supports him when he's not feeling well. She is always by his side. He even takes her with him to the hospital. He smuggles her everywhere he goes. Even if it sometimes seems as if Erik is annoyed by her when she jumps up at Christine or doesn't want to get on the streetcar or goes crazy with big dogs. He loves her to death. He would do anything for her.

Thanks for reading. :-D The text was longer than expected... Any questions?

You will never believe how much you are loved.

Tapas: https://tapas.io/episode/3067743

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50646802/chapters/127941634

The Bisexual of the Opera