Creatures United - Tumblr Posts
creatures united incorrect quotes/things my friends n i have said pt three:
warning[s] - crude language, explicit content, general teenage shit
indigo: maybe i'm not a skinny white boy, look at those thighs jesus christ -
etie: yOU'RE SO CUTE
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helen: help i'm wearing a corset and my cat is swarming towards my tits
carter: WHAT
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simon: i- "i only like my cum white"?
seph: we don't talk about it
gray: so there was peanut butter and jelly -
seph: wE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT
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etie: boobs with the fur
seph: hot
cameron: oh.
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joseph: get yourself an emo who's also a housewife
indigo: i have one, it's my brother
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gray: seph when can i mive in
seph: mhm
seph: oh, now
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helen: LET ME EAT MY CANDLES IN PEACE
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joseph: someone's just a giant chicken
bex: wow
joseph: w a knife
bex: .. wow
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simon: yk i don't enjoy hurting people
indigo: i don't believe you
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joseph: beautiful song
carter: it's jazz hands..
joseph: oh
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bex: no one wants a dirty sink cake
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simon: you guys are invited to the funeral btw
helen: THE FUNERAL???
simon: I MEANT THE WEDDING, I MEANT THE WEDDING -
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etie: your hair has too much ass from being a strippper
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seph: this is why we can't take you anywhere shawty
bex: bc i call 48 yr old men seggsy?
simon: yes.
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cameron: he was too obsessed with folding his paper towels into triangles
carter: [eats his well folded paper towels]
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etie: indigo what if you had a sister named violet
indigo: that'd be weird
etie: nO IT'D BE PERFECT
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simon: the way he runs reminds me of someting,, what is it?
simon: oh berries and cre-
joseph: bERRIES AND CREAM, BERRIES AND CREAM, IM A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES BERRIES AND CREAM
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indigo: im not re-entering my one direction phase for the music
[holds up picture of louis tomlinson]
indigo: i'm doing it for him.
simon: k.
creatures united as things my friends and i have said/incorrect quotes part six
bex: sluttin it up on the interwebs bc my boyfriend made me mad
bex: sluttin it up backfired he wants all the pictures
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indigo: what if i dyed my leg hair
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seph: helena aves, i am TRYING to slut it up for you reply to me please
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indigo, referencing a 5sos tiktok: im making you and cam make this with me
etie: do it
indigo: you get to be c swizzle bbg dw
etie: omg
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seph: dude that sounded so wet
carter: what?
seph: his ass
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simon: [sends indigo spicy text]
indigo: WHATS GOING ON??? I’M A BABY BOY, I WAS JUST READING THE MAZE RUNNER.
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helen: i feel like i have very fingerable hair
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gray: who lives in a papaya under the sea?
joseph: me!!!
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cameron: i have a stomach of iron
bex: you literally have ibs
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etie: the only ones i trust to be ginger are helen and joseph
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indigo: simon said i could be flounder in the little mermaid
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helen: oh no i think fancy pants is in love with me
joseph: oh no
joseph: not fancy pants
joseph: ANYONE BUT FANCY PANTS
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simon: this is the most twink picture ive ever taken (i’m literally howl pendragon)
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gray: my back hurts so bad all i did was wake up
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indigo: save a horse ride a cowboy idk
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carter: why am i so alone?
seph: don’t worry kid we’ll sign you up for eharmony when we get home
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[mothers day]
simon: my moms dead so i deserve the money
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bex: ur slutty hawaiian shirt dad is back
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helen: yk maybe i should redo my sims
helen: bc etie kinda uh
helen: lit herself on fire and died in front of my sim
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joseph: i’m running out of petnames
carter: google them?? idk
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seph: anyways i’m not gay
indigo: sure, and i’m not an emo twink that lives in the south
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etie: i think i made have accidentally made my ai bot sentient
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indigo: you threatened to kill me, i’m not that desperate
simon: cmon you can’t hold a grudge forever
indigo: THAT WAS 30 SECONDS AGO
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cameron: stab him in the penis
creatures united incorrect quotes/things my friends and i have said pt seven
etie: i was unable to seduce the Lord of evil the first time, ill get him when I meet him again
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simon: oh yeah man i’m sorry for sleeping so late
gray: it’s not that late ??
simon: wdym it’s 9pm
gray: dude..
simon: WHAT??
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indigo: babygrill if ur so obsessed w me just say so and stop dickriding me /neg on the internet 🥰🤭
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helen: ALL GINGER CATS ARE TERRORISTS.
joseph: IT’S JUST HOW THEY ARE
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indigo: porpl
etie: u r so purple
indigo: in a good way or covered in dye way?
etie: yes.
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bex: it’s okay, my dad is more delulu therefore you have a chance
helen: he’s 33 years old
bex: .. time travel is less delulu
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indigo: why can a fictional man i write love me more than my father does
seph: GO AHEAD AND CRYITTLE GIRLCLLL
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etie: my toxic trait is that I think that I could look at a bear and we would form an instant bond of love and friendship and he would let me snuggle him
helen: ME
carter: all of us fr
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simon: why is this character enhancing my daddy issues
seph: because you don’t have a dad
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indigo, sending a picture of a 33 yr old man: he wants me
etie: it’s true
etie: I’m his beauty mark
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helen: deciding whether to scream, cry, or buy brownies
simon: i’d say all three tbh
simon: scream turns into crying and then u buy the brownies
helen: ur so right
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simon: i just got jumpscared by ur dead name but thank you
bex: HEPP
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joseph: call him muffincakes when you breakup with him
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simon: i need someone to look at me the way JD looks at veronica
gray: dw bbg, i’ll just 👁️👁️
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indigo: SEPH SAID I LOOK LIKE A MALEWIFE BOYKISSER
etie: YOU ARE
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seph: would you guys still love me if i committed a murder
gray: yes
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bex: i would suck dick for more pineapple
indigo: i would suck dick for fun but penis’s scare me and i have a bad gag reflex
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seph: the price of my sins is accidentally eating a Reese's cup with the paper on
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bex: GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE I JUST FORTUITOUSLY PULLED MY BATTERY CHARGER CABLE OUT OF MY ENCLOSURE
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simon: i’m fatherless??
joseph: i killed ur dad
simon: cool!!
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indigo: this entire book is him curing my daddy issues
etie: or making them worse
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seph: HEY FAGGOTTT!!
seph: .. THATS NOT BEX, THATS NOT BEX.
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indigo: I’m still so upset i’m trying to cope by being hot
indigo: .. and watching mermaids
creatures united incorrect quotes/things my friends and i have said pt eight
gray: aliens? wake me up when something important happens, like a new pasta shape
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joseph: do u wanna play 20 questions?
bex: sure !!
joseph: what’s ur favorite color?
bex: pineapple. do you like men?
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simon: YOU LOOK LIKE A NEWBORN GUPPY FISH CRYING.
indigo: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME.
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joseph: oh let me just light my mommy issues on fire
simon: see you get it
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gray: contacting my favorite ex rn
indigo: my favorite ex is uhhh.. etie 😁😁
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simon: we're just talking, I'm letting the slow burn marinate. (im secretly waiting for october to roll around so that i can relate to we fell in love in october and have a silly little october boyfriend)
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joseph: what if i cried & threw up.
simon: ur too sexy for that stop
joseph: but i like him a not normal amountttt
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helen: i hate micellar water
seph: me too (who is that?)
helen: babe it’s a makeup remover.
seph: oh.. YEAH FUCK THAT BITCH
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indigo: did u buy me a luke hemmings is better than you sweatshirt? bc if u did i’ll marry u rn
indigo: like kiss u on the mouth and carry u away off to our honeymoon kinda kiss
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etie: you’re safe now babygirl
simon: naur i’m not, it’s america
etie: FUCKK
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indigo: bae i fell asleep and woke up to michael screaming abt gay bowser in mario kart
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simon: like if my dad passes balding onto me as i get older i’ll kill him and if he’s already dead i’ll bring him back n like tell him he destroyed my childhood or smth idk
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seph: my humongus honkus pixkle jiggle????
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etie: he gave me a donut
indigo: he wants you so bad babe
helen: he's literally begging on his knees for u atp
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bex: but bc u said THATS WHAT THE MASK IS 😩 I think your a fcking fggot
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gray: si i don’t participate in sexual intercourse 😔
simon: virgin 🫵
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indigo: i was mature & honest abt my feelings 😍 that’s so crazy i deserve a reward (i’m getting whipped cream before i knock tf out)