Dbf!joel - Tumblr Posts

Omg this has to be one of my new favorites. Like the roller coaster of emotions I’m feeling is crazy. Love the dynamic between Joel and reader. Can’t wait to see what happens next. 💜

fourth of july

3.9k / dbf!joel x f!reader

warnings: 18+, minors dni. dbf!joel, no outbreak, age gap (reader is 23, joel is in his 40s), dominant joel, oral sex (m receiving), little bit of praise kink good girl action iykyk

a/n: done with finals so we are back to the important things (writing joel smut)...going through a dbf!joel phase so lmk if we like this/if we want more parts. i have some ideas for a lil series if people are into this one. love u bye <3

“What the hell are you thinkin’?” he snarls. His fist is still wrapped around your underwear. You can see the fabric peeking out between his fingers.  Your face goes hot.  “I don’t…I thought—” “What did you think?” he says, accent rough. “You thought takin’ off your panties —” he opens his fist and hooks a finger through the band, letting them dangle — “and handin’ ‘em to me at a party was a good idea?” 

It’s good to be back in Texas. Back home. You’re only here for a few months, in that awkward, post-grad summer between college and real-life - but it’s nice. Good to see your dad, and your friends, and…Joel.

You’ve known him since you were a kid. He’s your dad’s best friend. You shouldn’t be nervous to see him - you see him every summer, every Christmas, every family get-together. But this time feels different. The past few times have felt different, if you’re being honest. He’s…

No. He’s Joel. He taught you how to swim. Showed you how to ride a bike. He’s got an ex-wife, and a daughter, and twenty years on you. But still. Still. 

You’ve only been home for a few days, but you still haven’t seen him. He makes himself scarce. Always at work, or busy with Sarah, or bailing Tommy out of jail. It’s probably better that way, anyway. The last thing you need is that fucking Southern drawl in your ear every day. 

But you’ll see him today. Today it’s inevitable. The annual Fourth of July barbecue, organized by your dad and hosted by Joel. They’ve modified the theme this year - Fourth of July meets Graduation! - to celebrate you. The guest of honor.  

So, yeah. You’re nervous. You’re really fucking nervous. You take an hour to pick out a sundress, and if you pick a matching set of underwear to go beneath it - black, lace, expensive - it’s definitely not because of him. 

The walk across the street to Joel’s is torture. You drag your feet the whole way, mute alongside your father. He fills the silence with inane chatter. Something about Joel’s contracting business, you think. You follow him to Joel’s front door, and through the foyer, and out to the back yard - and there he is. Joel Miller, leaning heavily against his fence with a beer in one hand. A wallflower at his own party. 

He perks up when you approach. Tips his beer in easy greeting. 

“Hey, kid. Long time no see.” 

You swallow. “Yeah. Long time no see.” 

“College graduate,” he muses. “Too smart for me now.” 

“Hardly.” 

“What’d you study, anyway?” 

You eye him. “You actually wanna know? Or you just making conversation?” 

The corner of his lip quirks. “Humor me.” 

“English. Lit. You know, Jane Austen. Brontë sisters. That kinda thing.”

“Mm.” He looks amused. He takes a long sip of beer and you watch him swallow. “Bet you could teach me a thing or two. Last book I read was the Givin’ Tree.” 

You stare at him. 

“Sarah’s favorite,” he elaborates. 

You laugh, then. “Sure.” 

He eyes you. Keeps drinking. You shift a little in the silence, picking at the peeling wood along his fence. 

“Can I have a sip?” 

He pauses with the bottle halfway to his lips. His brow lifts. But he hands the bottle over, fingers brushing yours when you reach out to grab it. 

“Keep forgettin’ you’re old enough to drink,” he says. 

You take a sip in response. He watches you closely, eyes twinkling. 

He’s almost smiling. Almost. It fades when he steals a glance over your shoulder. “You got company,” he says, snatching the beer back from your hand. 

You turn in time to see Carter Thomas loping towards you. Twenty-something, next-door neighbor, one-time boyfriend. And perpetually, persistently, in love with you. You have enough time to sigh before he approaches. 

“Hey,” he says. He turns to Joel. “Mind if I steal her?” 

Joel’s jaw ticks. “No,” he says, after a moment’s hesitation. “‘Course not. Don’t have too much fun.” 

He pushes himself from the fence. You watch him go with a sinking heart. He turns to watch you over his shoulder, and you could swear there’s something in his eyes — something — and then he blinks, and turns away, and it’s gone. You’re stuck with Carter Thomas.

“—last semester at Syracuse,” he’s saying, waving his hands for emphasis. “You know how it is.” 

You nod absently. Your eyes wander, searching aimlessly for Joel as he disappears back into the crowd. You catch a flash of flannel and smile softly. 

“Are you even listening?” Carter whines. He sounds annoyed. He snaps his fingers — like, actually snaps — and your eyes flick back to him. “Like, you can’t even pretend to be interested? God. I text you, I call you, you can’t even be bothered to respond, and now you can’t even listen to a word I say—” 

You feel Joel before you see him. At your side again, slinking there like a shadow, all brooding, quiet, six-foot something of him. 

“There a problem?” he asks, softly. 

“No,” Carter says, quickly. “We’re just talking.” 

“Sounds more like you’re yellin’.” 

Carter turns, exasperated. “Look, we’re fine,” he says. “Just — it’s really not your business.” 

“My house,” Joel says, quietly. “Think that makes it my business.” He looks at you. “You alright?” 

“Yeah.” You glare at Carter. “He was just leaving.” 

Carter blinks. He looks between you and Joel in disbelief. “Fine,” he huffs, putting his palms to the air. “Nice to see you.” 

Joel grunts in response. He watches him go, standing silent at your side. You turn to face him after a brief moment. 

“Thanks for that.” You shrug. “He can’t take a hint.” 

Joel grunts again. Not much for talking, you remember. Seems to speak less and less with each passing year. 

But then he surprises you. 

“You okay?”  

“Yeah,” you say, a little caught off guard. “Fine. He’s harmless. Just annoying.” 

He nods. “Sure. You wanna…you wanna talk about it?” 

You stare. 

“You want to talk about something?” 

He laughs at that. A short, sharp chuckle. “Not particularly. Good excuse to get away from this.” He gestures with his beer to the party; to the people milling through his yard. 

“You hosted.” 

“Yeah, well. 'S your dad’s thing. I just have the grill.” 

You shake your head, laughing a little. “Whatever. I could use a break, too. Lead the way.” 

He weaves his way through the yard, stopping to pluck two beers from a cooler. You follow him inside, through the kitchen and up the stairs and down a quiet hallway. 

“Through here,” he says, ducking into the guest bathroom. 

“The … bathroom.” 

“You’re impatient, y'know?” 

He moves to the back of the bathroom, to a window there. He puts his shoulder into the pane and nudges it open, letting cool air wash the room. And then he bends, grumbling softly as he climbs through the open window and steps onto the roof. 

You pause for a minute before you follow. He’s still grumbling when you make it onto the roof, catching your balance on the ledge. You take a cautious seat and let your legs dangle over the eave. 

“Gettin’ too old for this,” he mutters. 

You laugh, watching as he stumbles over to join you. The guests look smaller from up here. Distant. The sun slips beneath the roof and stains the sky purple. 

He makes it to your side and drops down next to you with a sigh. He cracks both beers open and passes you one. 

“I hate parties,” you blurt, after a moment’s silence. 

He hums appreciatively. “Sure.” 

More silence. He takes an excruciatingly long sip. 

“Could kill him for you, if ya want,” he says, casually. “That Carter kid. Just say the word.” 

Your head whips to him. A laugh bubbles up from your throat, and his lip quirks.  

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

He nods. “I got you covered,” he says. Playful, but…you get the sense he’s not entirely teasing. “Any boys give you a hard time, you send ‘em my way.” 

You laugh again. Shake your head. 

“So,” he says. “Carter. Anyone else I gotta watch out for?” 

“Since when are you interested in my love life?” 

He puts the bottle to his lips. “It’s called makin’ conversation,” he says. 

You roll your eyes. Ignore the way your pulse quickens at the question. 

“No one at school, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

He can read your tone. It’s not exactly subtle. “So there is someone,” he says. 

“It’s nothing.” You glance away from him. You swing your feet and watch the tips of your shoes. 

“You told him how you feel?” 

“No.” 

“No,” Joel repeats. He sounds amused. “Why not?” 

“It’s complicated,” you say, a little sharper than you intend. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just…” 

“Ok. Alright.” He hoists his hands in mock surrender. But there’s something else in his eyes - something darker. It’s gone before he can blink. 

“How’s my dad?” you ask. It’s a terrible attempt at a tone-shift, but he lets it go. He shrugs, lifting his bottle. 

“Y'know. He’s alright. Think he misses havin’ you around.” 

Your heart tugs a little. “Yeah. I miss him too. Feel kinda bad, leaving him all alone here.” 

Joel nudges your leg with his. “Don’t worry about him,” he says. “I make sure he does alright.” 

You nod. It’s suddenly painfully obvious how close he is - how his shoulder brushes yours; how his bottle clinks yours when he shifts. 

“We should probably go back down,” you say. “You’re the host. And I’m the...guest of honor, or something. We can’t both be missing.” 

His gaze lingers half a second longer. 

“No,” he agrees. He stands, brushing off his jeans, and offers you his hand. 

You take it. He helps you up and your hand stays in his for a split-second longer than it should. Just long enough for your breath to catch. 

He drops his hand. Clears his throat. “After you,” he says, motioning back through the window. He follows after you, closing it shut, and again you find yourselves in a rapidly-thickening moment of silence — this time in the confines of his tiny guest bathroom. 

“Um, I think —” You blink. “I’m just gonna freshen up in here, if that’s cool. I can meet you back downstairs.” 

“Oh. Sure. ‘Course.” He shuffles past you to the door. He pauses before he lets it close, peeking back in at you with one hand on the handle. 

“You look real pretty tonight,” he says. “In case I didn’t say. Meant to tell you earlier.” 

You blush. He nods, half to himself, and closes the door. 

“Fuck,” you mumble. You stand in front of the mirror, hands braced on the sink as his footsteps recede. Your heart sits at the base of your throat. 

You look real pretty tonight. 

He’s never called you pretty before. Not ever. You’ve never heard Joel Miller call anything pretty in his life. But, then, maybe it’s a friendly kind of pretty. A fatherly sort of pretty. A you’re still the girl who used to babysit my daughter sort of pretty. 

Or maybe not. 

An idea starts to form. It’s not a good one. It’s probably a terrible one, actually, but you’re more than a few drinks deep, and something about the way he looked at you - the way he snapped at Carter, the way he led you to the roof - is telling you to do it. 

So - fuck it. You do.

You lift the hem of your sundress and work your underwear off. Black. Lace. Somewhere deep in your brain you know you must have worn them for him. 

You’re more than a little embarrassed to find they’re already damp. Just the fucking thought of him - just that caramel drawl calling you pretty - and you’re already soaked.

You swear silently, balling the fabric into your fist, and push the door open before you can talk yourself out of this. Out of the bathroom, down the stairs, back into the yard. 

You make a beeline for Joel. Your dad stops you, and your heart nearly stops — but you fend him off pretty easily. He’s too drunk to notice the blush on your cheeks, or the fabric stashed in your fist. 

You find Joel by the pool, trapped in conversation with his aggressively eager neighbor. Ms. Simmons. You remember her. Recently divorced, forever on the prowl. She’s got her claws sunk into Joel like a botoxed vulture. 

She’s laughing loudly — too loudly — when you approach. You get the sense Joel hasn’t said anything that resembles a joke. 

“You’re too much,” she coos, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “You have to come by sometime. I’ll open a bottle of wine…” 

She stops when she sees you at Joel’s side. Her expression sours. 

“Sorry,” you say, softly. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

She opens her mouth to say something. Joel is faster. 

“You ain’t interruptin’,” he says. He scoots a little to make room for you, even as Ms. Simmons scowls. 

“I was just inviting Joel over for a glass of wine,” she says, eyeing you. “You’re always welcome too, of course. Just as soon as you’re old enough to drink.” 

“I’m twenty-three,” you say. You manage a fake smile. You can feel Joel try not to laugh beside you. His hand hangs at his side, brushing yours. “Thanks for the offer, though.” 

Ms. Simmons huffs. She’s determined, though - the way half of the women in this town are determined when it comes to Joel Miller - and she doubles down as if you’re a ghost. 

You ignore her. You move closer to Joel, almost imperceptibly, but you can tell the way his frame goes rigid that he can feel you. You move your hand to his as Ms. Simmons chatters away. Joel is grunting politely every so often - that quiet, deadly Southern charm - but he goes quiet when he feels your fingers on his. And quieter still when you slip the scrap of black fabric into his palm.

His whole body stiffens. Even Ms.Simmons - oblivious as all hell and three sheets to the wind - can sense the change. She frowns. 

“Joel? Are you alright?” 

He blinks, hard. His fist tightens on the lace. 

“Fine,” he grits. “Would you excuse me a second?” 

“Oh.” Her face falls. “Sure.” 

You’re not expecting him to move as quickly as he does. You’re also not expecting him to grab you the way he does, his free hand snatching at the back of your dress and yanking you into his chest. 

“Bathroom,” he growls, stubble raking your ear. “Two minutes.” 

He releases you before you can answer. You watch him stalk past you - past the party - and disappear into the house. 

And then you follow. 

You barely have to knock. Your knuckles graze the door and it swings open, wide enough for Joel’s hand to drag you inside. 

The door slams shut behind you. You stand sandwiched between Joel and the handle. 

“What the hell are you thinkin’?” he snarls. His fist is still wrapped around your underwear. You can see the fabric peeking out between his fingers. 

Your face goes hot. 

“I don’t…I thought—”

“What did you think?” he says, accent rough. “You thought takin’ off your panties —” he opens his fist and hooks a finger through the band, letting them dangle — “and handin’ ‘em to me at a party was a good idea?” 

You swallow. 

“You know what your dad’d do to me if he saw this?” he hisses. “What he’d do to you?” 

“Kill us both,” you offer, unhelpfully. 

He lifts a brow. Your underwear dangles from his middle finger.

“Damn right, kill us both.” 

“So don’t tell,” you say, softly. It’s a hell of a lot bolder than you feel. 

He looses a low whistle. You can’t tell if he’s amused, or pissed, or…something else. 

“You used to be a good girl,” he says, and now his voice is dangerous. Low, silken, Southern. “What the hell happened?” 

“Don’t know.” Somewhere in the back of your mind, you register that he’s stepped closer. A lot closer. “Grew up, I guess.” 

“I guess,” he echoes. 

He lifts his free hand to your face. Your breath catches. You’re halfway convinced he’ll kiss you — but then he grabs your jaw, holding it between rough fingers — and tilts your face to his. 

“What am I supposed to do with these?” he growls. 

You shake your head, as best you can with his hand on your jaw. 

“Whatever you want,” you manage.

“Whatever I want,” he repeats. His eyes are black, his lips inches from yours. You can taste whiskey on his breath. “And you? What am I s'posed to do with you?” 

You stare at him. His fingers slacken on your jaw, slipping lower, wrapping loosely around your throat.

“Lemme guess,” he mutters. “Whatever I want?” 

You swallow. Nod, slowly. 

He huffs. 

“Alright,” he murmurs. His voice is velvet. His hand squeezes your throat. “Get on your knees.” 

You look at him, a little surprised. His expression is almost unreadable. 

“Anythin’ I want, right?” He cocks his head. “Don’t make me ask twice.” 

You don’t. You kneel on the ground, knees digging into the tile. It’ll leave a mark, you’re sure. You couldn’t care less. You put your hands on his belt and he doesn’t stop you. Your panties hang from his finger, still, dragging by your cheek as you work his belt free and tug his jeans past his hips.

“You do this for all the boys?” he taunts. His drawl is thicker, now, slipping to a slur as his self-control wanes. 

You shake your head. “No,” you mumble. 

“No,” he agrees. His eyes are dark. 

You work his boxers down and his cock springs free. You let out a small sound at the sight. 

“Quiet,” he clips. He cocks a head toward the window, where the sounds of the party filter through. “Unless you wanna give ‘em a show.” 

You shut up. He moves his free hand to the back of your head and wraps his fingers in your hair, pushing you into his cock. Your mouth parts, gasping slightly as his tip drags past your lips. 

It’s the first reaction you’ve pulled from him. A chink in brooding armor. A small, quiet grunt as he slides into your mouth.

You smile a little, lips curving around his cock. He tightens his grip in your hair and pulls you closer, wiping your smile clean, making you choke. 

“Fuck,” you breathe, when his grip finally slackens. You take a breath, panting softly. His cock is slick with your saliva. 

“You ain’t finished.” 

He doesn’t grab you this time. He waits for you to move; waits for you to shuffle closer, and brace your hands on his thighs, and take him in your mouth. Waits for you to set the pace. 

You can feel him tremble when you move faster, head bobbing, fingers digging at his hips. His hand stretches, steadying himself on the lip of the counter. 

“Good?” you murmur. You drag the flat of your tongue along the underside of his cock. He flinches. 

“Thought I told you—” he swears, knuckles tight on the sink, “—quiet.” 

You smile again. He’s losing control. You can tell — the way his hips twitch, the way his cock jumps in your mouth. 

“Don’t always listen,” you breathe, placing a kiss to his tip. 

“Fuck,” he mutters. His head tilts back. His fist balls around your panties. “That’s good, sweetheart. Just like that. Good—god damn — good girl.” 

You swirl your tongue along the head of his cock. His hips buck into your mouth. 

“Don’t be a fuckin’ tease,” he growls. 

You grin. You hum a soft apology around his cock and take him deeper, ignoring the throb in your knees. 

He shudders. His hand flies off of the counter and buries again in your hair. 

“Where you want it?” he breathes. His eyes are dark, blown black with lust. His drawl drips down your skin and settles in between your legs. 

You draw back long enough to speak. Those same three words. 

“Whatever you want,” you mumble. 

That drives him fucking crazy. You drive him fucking crazy. His hand tangles in your hair and he fucks your mouth, swearing softly, your own soaked panties crumped in his other hand. 

And then his hips jerk, and his half-silent swears spill broken from his mouth. He cums hard, clutching at your hair. 

“Fuck,” he pants. You stare up at him, holding him on your tongue, swallowing slowly as he watches. “Good girl, baby. Fuck.” 

His praise makes you blush. You sit back on your haunches and watch as he drags his boxers back up, then his jeans, then his belt. He fastens the buckle and looks down at you, still on your knees. He slides your panties into his back pocket and offers you his hand for the second time that night. 

You take it and stand, a little shaky. Joel watches you. That impenetrable look is back.

You’re not sure what to say. You’re pretty are you should say something. But you’re spared — for better or worse — by the sound of footsteps in the hall. Loud footsteps. Close footsteps. Footsteps that stop, suddenly, and darken the light under the bathroom door. 

Joel moves faster than you. He grabs you, pressing his chest to your back, and claps a palm across your mouth. 

The footsteps shuffle, a little uncertain. A knock follows at the door. 

“Hello?” 

Your heart drops. You slacken in Joel’s grip. 

You know that voice. You both do. 

Your dad. 

“Hello?” he repeats. “Someone in there?” 

You squirm. Joel’s hand tightens on your mouth. 

“Yeah, sorry,” he calls. “Gimme a sec.” 

“Joel?” You can hear your dad chuckle. He sounds drunk. “You seen my kid anywhere?” 

You mumble into Joel’s palm. He digs his fingers into your cheek, chest tight against your back. 

“Don’t think so,” he calls back. 

Your dad sighs. “Saw her talkin’ to that Carter boy…” he mutters. “Kid is bad news.” He pauses. “You okay in there?” 

You giggle. You can’t help it. Joel’s arm flexes by your head. 

“Fine,” he says, shortly. “Go ahead and use the bathroom downstairs. I need a minute.” 

Your dad pauses again. You stifle a laugh, muffled in Joel’s palm. 

“Okay,” your dad says, finally. “Let me know if you see my damn daughter.” 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

His footsteps fade. Joel waits until he’s doubly sure he’s gone to release you. 

“Really?” he scowls, when he sees your grin. 

“Need a minute,” you imitate him, affecting his drawl. You laugh. “You’re a bad liar.” 

“Like hell I am. Saved your ass.” He nods at the door. “Get out of here,” he says. 

When you don’t move, he puts a hand on the small of your back and pushes you to the door. “Out. Now. ‘Less you wanna explain this.” 

“Not particularly.” 

“Didn’t think so.” He cracks the door for you, sweeping the hallway before ushering out out. 

You turn back to him before he can shut the door. 

“I’m here all summer, you know.” 

An almost-smile ghosts his lips. 

“You got a death-wish, or somethin’?” 

You shrug. “Maybe.” 

“Mm.” He huffs. He leans in, desperately close, eyes flicking over your shoulder to ensure you’re alone. “Make sure to fuck you properly next time, if you want it that bad.” 

Then he draws back, and that narrowed gaze is back. He yanks the door shut and leaves you alone in the hall.

You take a breath and start downstairs, smoothing your dress down your thighs. 

You wonder if that was a promise. 

And later — when you make it home, and climb into bed, and slip your hand between your legs — 

You hope it was. 

---

(S)CREAMING bro i’m a whore for dbf!joel

LATE NIGHT SMOKE

pairing: dbf!joel miller x f!reader

summary: while your parents are asleep, you sneak out into the garden to have a smoke. little do you know, your dad's best friend joel is staying the night.

warnings: pre!outbreak, smut, weed, dom!joel, dbf!joel, rough sex, p in v, fingering, degrading (slut, whore), sir kink, unprotected sex, creampie

note: im BAAACK, i know i say that after every fic but im fr this time i promise. anyway, here's a joel fic because i have loved pedro for so fkin long and him as joel is just perfect

You smiled to yourself when you finally heard your parents' footsteps climbing up the stairs and heading towards their bedroom. It felt like you'd been waiting years to go into the garden and spark up a joint.

Being as quiet as you could, you climbed out of bed and grabbed your dressing gown, wrapping it around you since it was a cold night and you were only wearing a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You were smart enough to preroll a joint, the tapping of your metal grinder would have probably alerted your parents.

After double checking you had a lighter in your pocket, you slowly opened your bedroom door and made your way downstairs, being as silent as possible. Once you had finally made it to the kitchen, you slipped on a pair of slippers you had near the back door and entered the garden.

The night sky was beautiful. It was clear, stars speckled the darkness like freckles and the moon shone bright. The air was crisp and cold, you were thankful you'd decided to bring your dressing gown. After sitting down on the wicker patio furniture, you placed the joint between your lips and lit the end, breathing back the smoke and fluttering your eyes closed as a calm feeling washed over you.

"You shouldn't be smoking that," a voice from the back door startled you, making your heart race as you whipped your head towards the voice. Your dad's best friend, Joel, was leant against the door, his arms crossed and a smirk playing at his lips, "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you,"

"I didn't realise you were staying the night," you spoke, your heart rate settling when you realised it wasn't some crazed murderer, "Don't tell my dad about the joint,"

Joel laughed, "Don't worry, we were all your age once,"

You smiled and motioned your head towards the seat next to you, "Care to join?" you took another hit of your joint, "Since your up anyway,"

"Might as well," he shrugged, stepping out from the doorway and taking a seat next to you, "Do you mind if i have some?"

You nodded, putting the joint between your lips and taking another drag before passing it to him. You couldn't help but watch as Joel smoked it, your cheeks heating up as he blew the smoke out. As wrong as it was, you had always had somewhat of a crush on Joel, but could anybody blame you?

Saying Joel was handsome was an understatement, the man was plain drop-dead gorgeous. There was something about his rugged, working-man look that made you so fucking turned on every time you saw him.

"You see something you like?"

Fuck, he had caught you staring. Heat rose to your cheeks and you stammered, "I- uh, sorry-"

"It's alright, darling, nobody here but us," he took another hit of the joint, "No need to act so shy,"

He passed the joint back to you so you chose to smoke instead of answering, making Joel raise an eyebrow, "It's rude to ignore somebody, y'know,"

You don't know what came over you, maybe it was the THC in your system, but you turned to look at him, "Maybe I do see something I like, what would you do?"

Joel let out a soft chuckle and shook his head slightly, "What would you want me to do, sweetheart?"

Heat rushed down to your core and you squoze your thighs together, taking another drag before leaning towards him. You mustered up every inch of courage before whispering, "This," and crashing your lips against his.

Joel immediately kissed back, he tastes of cigarettes and whiskey with a bit of weed and you couldn't get enough of it. Whimpering into the kiss, you deepened it, placing the joint on the patio table before wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Fuck, darling," Joel broke the kiss for a second, "You're gonna drive me crazy if you make noises like that,"

"What if that's what I want?" you chuckled before kissing him again, this time shifting so you were sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him, letting you feel his hard bulge against your clothed cunt.

Slowly, he moved one arm from around you and started to snake it up your thigh, the feeling of his calloused fingers against your bare skin making you even wetter. When his hand was centimeters away from your core, he stopped, pulling away from the kiss so he could speak, "Can I?"

"Please.." you whispered, giving Joel the go ahead to dip his fingers into your shorts. As soon as he made contact with your dripping cunt, you let out a soft moan, making sure to stay quiet as to not alert your parents.

"No panties?" he raised an eyebrow and moved the tip of one finger to rub at your clit slowly, "And you're already fucking soaked, such a slut for me aren't you?"

You bit you lip and nodded, your hands falling from around his neck and moving to grab at his shirt, "Y-yes,"

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, sir, such a slut for you," you whined, rutting your hips against his hand slowly.

"Atta girl," Joel grunted as he moved his hand down to slip two fingers inside you without warning, making you let out a loud gasp-like moan, "Fuck, Joel.."

"Gotta stay quiet, darling, I know it feels good but your parents are inside," he reminded you, his thumb planted on your clit. Biting your lip again, you nodded, screwing your eyes shut as Joel began to curl his fingers inside you.

"Look at you," he chuckled as he set a brutal pace, his thumb rubbing at your clit as his fingers pumped in and out of you, "Little whore, letting her dad's best friend finger her while he's asleep upstairs,"

You tried your best to stay quiet but Joel's filthy words alongside the heavenly feeling of his hand were just too much. You moaned loudly once again and Joel rolled his eyes, "So fucking dumb, stay quiet," he spoke through gritted teeth, "What would your mom and dad say if they caught us, hm?"

"It feels too good, sir," you whined, your hips rocking in time with him. A familiar heat began to bubble in your abdomen and you knew you were approaching your orgasm, "I-I'm close," you moaned as quietly as you could, your head falling against his shoulder, "Please, can I?"

Joel's pace got impossibly faster and you cried out, thankful the fabric of his shirt was able to muffle you. "Go ahead, princess, let me see you fall apart on my fingers,"

The older man was smart enough to cover your mouth with his hand as you came undone around him, a whoreish moan rolling off your tongue as your hips bucked uncontrollably, "Sir!" you cried out into his palm.

Sloshing sounds could be heard as he worked you through your orgasm, making you blush. "Good girl, fuck," Joel groaned as your release coated his hand, "Can you hear the fucking mess you've made, gonna have to throw these jeans out,"

He pulled his hand away and you looked down, blushing hard when you saw the wet patch on his blue jeans, "Sorry," you mumbled, slightly out of breath from your orgasm. Joel chuckled, placing a kiss just below your ear, "It's alright, you're gonna make it up to me, aren't you?"

You nodded eagerly, a quiet whimper leaving your mouth as he rocked his hips up. Not wasting any time, Joel grabbed your hips and lifted you off him, placing you on the seat before standing up, "You gonna be a good slut and let me fuck that tight little pussy, hm?"

Nodding once again, you wrapped your fingers around the hem of your shorts and pulled them down as he worked on his belt; feeling yourself somehow get wetter as you watched him pull down his pants to mid-thigh, giving himself just enough room to free his leaking cock, "Words, darling,"

"Yeah, gonna let you fuck me so hard, sir," your eyes widened when you saw how big his dick truly was. Joel had always radiated big dick energy, but this was insane. You were slightly worried that it wouldn't fit.

"You sure you can fit?" you gulped, your eyes flicking from his length to his eyes. Joel smirked, placing a hand on your knee and spreading your legs wide for him, "I'll make it fit, don't worry your pretty little head about it,"

A shaky breath rolled off your lips as he placed himself between your thighs, the tip of his cock resting on your clit, “So wet for your dad’s best friend,” Joel chuckled, moving slightly so his cock moved down to prod at your entrance, “What would he say if he saw us right now, hm?”

You looked down and shook your head, trying not the think about it. Another soft chuckle was heard from Joel before he placed a hand on your chin and forced you to look up at him, “He probably thinks your so innocent, he’s absolutely fucking clueless about the fact you’re a dirty slut for older men,”

“Joel..” you whined, wiggling your hips as you began to grow inpatient, “Please just fuck me already,”

“As you wish, princess,” The older man smirked and slowly began to sheath himself inside you, the slight burn of the stretch making you gasp and throw your head back. Joel grunted as your pussy sucked him in, the feeling of your tight walls against his cock just heavenly.

“Fuck, baby..” He breathed as he bottomed out, “This pussy is just perfect, can’t believe I waited this long to claim it,”

“So big,” you moaned softly, your hands flying up to tangle in his brown locks and pull you both closer together, “Wanted this for so long, sir,”

Joel placed one hand on your hip to help you wrap a leg around his waist and the other on the side of your face; his palm resting against your cheek and his thumb just under your pouting bottom lip, “You look so pretty stuffed full of my cock, babygirl,”

“Please move,” you spoke, your cheeks and chest flushed, “Don’t be gentle, fuck me with everything you’ve got,”

“You’re gonna regret saying that,” Joel smirked cockily before pulling out and slamming his hips forward, making you gasp and throw your head back.

Joel forced your head back so you could look at him, his thumb now pushing past your lips and into your mouth, “Eyes on me, I wanna see your face while I fuck you dumb,”

As you began to suck hungrily on his thumb, Joel set a brutal pace with his hips, angled perfectly so the tip of his cock was kissing your cervix with every thrust.

“F-fuck, so fucking good,” you mewled around his thumb, arching your back and grinding your hips slightly against his, the coarse patch of hair on his pubic bone stimulating your neglected clit perfectly.

“Look at you,” he cooed, moving his hand so it was wrapped around your neck, “Taking my cock so well like a good little slut,”

The name went straight to your cunt, a feeing starting to bubble in your lower belly, “Sir, I-I’m close,” you managed to say quietly, speaking being quite hard due to the hand wrapped around your throat.

“G’won, baby,” Joel groaned as he felt his own release begin to build up, “Cum for me like the little fucking whore you are,”

As soon as he moved the hand that was holding your waist and started to rub soft but fast circles on your clit, you saw white, a whoreish moan rolling off your tongue as you came hard around his cock.

“Gonna fill you up, fuck- have it dripping out of you and running down your legs,” Joel cried out as he felt your cunt squeeze him, his thrusts beginning to get sloppy as he approached his high, “Everyone’s gonna know who this fucking pussy belongs to,”

As soon as he finished speaking, Joel thrust his hips forward roughly, burying his entire length inside you as he came with a loud moan. You hummed in content as you felt his load full you up, “Fuck..”

Moving his hand from around your throat, Joel stroked your cheek softly before pulling out, a whimper leaving your lips from the loss of feeling full. You both looked down, a blush forming on your cheeks when you saw his cum dripping out of you.

“You better be on the pill,” Joel chuckled, running a hand up your thigh, “Or we’ll be in real trouble,”

---

OBSESSED OBSESSED OBSESSED 😭

blue skies

12.2k / dbf!joel x f!reader

official dbf!joel playlist

warnings: 18+, minors dni. alright y'all. you know the drill. age gap (reader is 23, joel is in his late 40s), dbf!joel, dom!joel, use of gags, spitting, fingering, oral (f! receiving (x2! get it girl!)), unprotected p in v, joel dressed in his slutty work clothes

a/n: this is it y'all. we made it. the (sort of) finale of dbf!joel, with many future one-shots to come. i wanna thank each and every one of you for coming along for the ride. it has been so, so much fun. you made my summer. i can't wait to explore their future with you guys.

i love y'all. thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my heart. your artwork, your analysis, your playlists and moodboards and shirts and a thousand other insanely creative projects that y'all have undertaken are extraordinary and they mean the WORLD to me. you all mean the world to me.

going forward, i'll be working on more projects, as well as adding to this universe with drabbles, one-shots, etc. i've already gotten some great requests, and i have some ideas of my own - but if there's anything you'd like to see my requests are always open. i'll try my best to make it happen.

i love y'all a whole lot. here's to many more adventures. 🤍 🤠

ALSO - my computer, or tumblr, or a combination of both rolled over and died when i tried to edit my taglist. so - no more taglist. going forward, follow @jrrmintfics and turn on notifications to see new fic postings!

this is part 13 of my dbf!joel series. read the previous parts here:

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | bonus chapter (joel's pov) | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12

masterlist here. kofi here, if you wanna leave a tip :)

“I love you,” he mutters. Just low enough for you to hear.  “You’re just drunk,” you tease.  His hand tightens on your leg.  “No,” he growls. “I love you.”  You look up at him. His eyes are dark.  “How much?” you whisper. 

You don’t see your dad right away. You have this irrational fear he’ll be waiting in the entryway, coiled up behind the door like an overeager rattlesnake. So you’re wincing, a little, when you turn the key in the lock and ease your way inside. You’re waiting for him to pounce. 

But he doesn’t dart around the corner. He’s not waiting in the dark. He’s not in the hallway, or in the dim-lit lead-up to the dining room. You poke your head into the kitchen and he’s not in there, either. 

The house is quiet. Almost calm. 

You kick your shoes off. Climb upstairs. 

Your room is exactly how you left it: bed unmade, sheets tangled, clothes across the dresser — and it relaxes you, in some way, to know your dad hasn’t been in here. He hasn’t snooped. Hasn’t tried to piece things back together. He’s just — given you your space. 

You shrug your duffel off your shoulder. Kick it over to the bed. You set Joel’s duck down, on the edge of your nightstand, and tilt its tiny wooden head to face your pillow. 

You smile. Then you dig the two polaroids out of your back pocket — both of you, both filthy — and shove those in the depths of a drawer. All the way at the back. You set a book on top of them for good measure. 

And then you take a shower — like, a molten-hot, thousand-degree, skin-melting shower — because a cabin in the woods is nice enough but there’s nothing like proper, civilized water pressure. Temperatures that don’t run cold. Your own soap in the corner. 

It’s nice, until you step out smelling like strawberries instead of Joel. And then you miss that stupid fucking ice shower. 

You towel off. Pull on an old tee shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. You wander out to the stairs and peer over the landing. 

Your dad is standing at the bottom of the stairs. He’s got one foot on the first step and the other firmly planted on the ground. His hand is pancaked on his knee. The other dangles at his side. He looks like he can’t quite decide if he should start the trek up. 

You reel back half a step. Make a small, surprised sound. 

“I didn’t see you downstairs,” you say. 

“I was out back.” He pauses. The hand on his knee rubs a tight, nervous circle. “Didn’t hear ya come in.” 

“Oh,” you say. You blink. Water drips from your hair to your collar, soaking the fabric there. It winds ice-cold down your spine. “Yeah.” 

And then — because fuck it, might as well address the elephant on the staircase — you add, “—Joel dropped me off.” 

“Right,” he says, after an agonizing beat. “Okay.” 

But that’s all he says. He doesn’t lunge up the stairs. He doesn’t snap. His knuckles don’t curl and splinter the rail. 

He’s calmer, you think. Subdued. He nods deferentially when you start down the steps, a little tentative, and when you reach him at the bottom he moves aside to let you pass. 

“You, uh—” He clears his throat. “You leavin’ again?” 

“I don’t know,” you say. You let the silence hang. “Depends.” 

He nods, slowly. 

“I figured we could — talk first, at least,” you say. 

“Yeah,” he says. He takes his foot off the stairs. Plants them both back on the ground. You think he looks relieved. “Yeah, ‘course.”  

He follows you into the living room. You claim the couch and he takes a chair, close but not too close. He puts his hands on his thighs and drills his fingers into denim. 

You draw your knees up to your chest. Your jaw tightens and you work it slack. 

“Okay,” you say, finally. 

“Okay,” he repeats. 

“No screaming,” you tell him. “Shouting. Yelling. Whatever. If you raise your voice—”  your voice wavers, “—I’ll leave. Like — that’s it. I’m gone.” 

It’s more authoritative than you feel. You’re not used to laying down the law. That’s always been your dad’s job. 

But you’re dead fucking serious, and you guess he can tell. Because he nods, quietly, and repeats after you. 

“No screamin’,” he promises. 

You take a deep breath. So does he. 

“Joel and I—”

He stiffens. You ignore him. 

“I know it’s a lot,” you say. 

He chuckles. It sounds hollow. 

“It’s not what I expected,” you say. “I didn’t, like — I didn’t plan it. Neither did he. It just — happened.” 

“And it kept happening,” you say, before he can respond. Before you can lose your nerve. “It kept happening, because I wanted it to. Because he was — he was gentle, and thoughtful, and kind.” 

Your dad is quiet. He turns his fingers into fists and taps them once against his knees. 

“Joel Miller I know ain’t any ‘a those things.” 

You swallow, hard. Something brittle rises in your throat. Something defensive.

“Then maybe you don’t know him very well,” you say, softly. 

Your own fingers are balled into fists. 

Your dad is quiet, again. Then his fingers relax and he hangs his head. 

“Maybe not,” he says. 

There’s a heavy sort of silence. You watch your dad watch the ground. 

When he speaks he doesn’t lift his head. He addresses the carpet, instead of your face. But you hear him well enough. 

“He’s good t’you?” he mumbles, and the tops of his cheeks go red. “He’s — he’s good?” 

“Yeah,” you tell him. Your eyes sting. You’re not sure why. “Yes.” 

He nods absently. Strokes the crown of his knee. 

“Listen,” you say, and you think maybe you’ve got the hang of this whole setting boundaries thing, because your voice doesn’t tremble. “I know it’s — surprising.” 

Another laugh from dad. Another shake of his head you ignore. 

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” you say. “I am. But I’m not — I’m not sorry that I love him. And I’m not asking you to like it — believe me, you’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t—” 

You take another deep breath. In. Out. 

“—but you have to respect me,” you say, quietly. “You have to respect this. And you cannot—” 

Here it is. The quiver in your throat, like a too-taut bowstring. Salt tears on your tongue. They spring up before you say the words, so you try again. Hushed, hissed. Angry. 

“You cannot — fucking — touch him.” 

Your dad looks up. You stare at each other. He’s got that deer in the headlights wrinkle in his brow. 

“I didn’t—”

“Don’t,” you snap. “Don’t do that.” 

He’s quiet. 

“He didn’t even fight back,” you say, softly. “He didn’t even touch you.” 

“You know why?” you demand. The tears shift: to the tip of your tongue, to the well of your eyes. You sniff them back. “You know why he didn’t?” 

He doesn’t answer. But he shakes his head. Just once. No.

“Because of me,” you say. “Because he didn’t want to hurt me.” 

That lands. You know it does. You see the words punch, right under his gut.  

“You get it?” you breathe. 

“That’s what he said?” he winces. “Joel?” 

“He didn’t have to.” 

He shakes his head. Puts his hands up to his forehead. 

“Fuck,” he breathes.  

“Yeah,” you say.  

“Fuck,” he repeats. 

“Yeah,” you say. 

“I — do,” he starts, in that awkward, stilted, dad-speak. “I do respect you. Y’know. You’re an adult. You’re smart as hell. ‘Course I respect you.”  

“Show me, then,” you say. “Respect this.” 

He hesitates. Nods. 

“Can’t promise I’ll like it,” he says. “’N if he puts one goddamn foot outta line —”  

“Dad.” 

“I’ll try,” he says. He nods, again. He sounds sincere. “I can — try.” 

It’s not picture-perfect. He doesn’t get down on his knees, and beg your forgiveness, and give you both his undying blessing. Sparrows aren’t singing the song of your reconciliation on the windowsill, à la Disney channel. You’re not hugging it out. 

But it’s something. It’s a start. And when you manage a very small, very tentative smile, he volleys it back. 

“Okay,” you say, softly. 

“Okay,” he agrees. 

You lapse back into silence. He drums at his knees. 

“Joel,” he says, finally, “is he…?” 

“He’s fine,” you say, and you still sound defensive. Thorny. There’s a prickle on your skin whenever Joel’s name leaves your father’s lips. “You fucked him up pretty good. But I —” 

I fixed him, you want to say. 

“He’s fine,” you say again, instead. 

“Good,” he says. “That’s good.” 

There’s an awkward beat. You’re not sure what to say. Mercifully — or, perhaps, the opposite of — your dad fills it for you. 

“’N you’re — bein’ safe, at least,” he fumbles. 

“Jesus, dad.” 

You shake your head. Your cheeks go pink, then red, then crimson. 

But, then — you laugh. Like actually, honestly, laugh. 

It’s such a monumentally fucking awkward thing to ask that the rest of the stuff — the heavy stuff — takes a backseat. The air between couch and chair lightens; loosens. Your hands slide off of your knees. 

“Ew,” you tell him. You’re laughing, still. “Stop. Stop. We’re — adults. Jesus.” 

He cringes. Holds up his hands in mock surrender. 

And then he laughs, too, and you feel like maybe the worst part is over. You’ve weathered the storm and your ship is still standing. You’re still in one piece. 

You think maybe — for the first time in weeks — things will be okay. 

Eventually. 

You both stop laughing, after a while. He sits back in his chair and rubs his face with his hand. Yawns, heavily, and then sighs. 

“You, uh — you goin’ out?” he asks. It’s casual — or trying to be — but you know what he’s asking. Are you going back to him?

“No,” you tell him. “Not tonight. Thought I’d stay here.” 

You pause. Nod toward the TV. 

“Maybe watch a — shitty movie, or something. See what Hallmark has on.” 

You see his eyes light up. The tentative twinkle. The way he tries not to look too eager. 

“Well,” he says. “‘Y’missed the rest ‘a Christmas in July. August they got a new thing goin’. The Wedding Veil. Six movies. ‘Bout a — magic weddin’ veil.” 

“Oh,” you say, snuggling back against the couch, “good. Sounds awful.” 

“Hey, now.” He shrugs. He loves those shitty fucking movies. “Don’t knock ‘em.” 

You smile. Shake your head. 

“You want some company?” he asks. “Gets a little confusin’ around movie three. Multiple magic veils, ’n all that. Might need an expert t’explain.” 

He looks hopeful. Slightly pitiful. So — 

“Sure,” you say. 

You lean over. Snatch a blanket up, off the edge of the couch. “You can make the popcorn.” 

Three weeks later — September 1st — you start a brand-new job in downtown Austin. 

Hours on LinkedIn, and Indeed, and fucking — Glassdoor — plus ten million copies of your resume circulated — and someone finally took the bait. 

It’s your dream job. A tiny publishing house, smack-dab in the middle of downtown Austin. It’s just a starter role — freshly post-grad, nothing fancy — but still. Still. 

It’s small, and indie, and eclectic as hell — hardwood floors and beanbag chairs and tinted, stained glass windows — but you love it. It’s yours. 

Joel buys champagne to celebrate. You drink it the night before your very first day, side-by-side on the foot of his bed, and when he takes your glass and tips you back against the pillows he tells you that he loves you. He tells you that he’s proud. He tells you how much fuckin’ smarter than him he thinks you are, and you have to shut him up.

You spend your first day at work hungover. You’re not sure if it’s the champagne, or just the lingering taste of him. 

You text him during your lunch break. You can’t help it. 

You: so far so good

You: kinda miss you, though 

You add a cheeky emoji he won’t understand. He texts back half a minute later — uncharacteristically fast — and you read his message in that tight-jawed gruff. 

Joel: Thought you were supposed to be working.

You: i’m on a break. ever heard of one?

Joel: Smartass.

You: asshole

Joel: Get back to work.

You smile into your hand. Text back, under your desk. 

You: yes, sir.

That’ll rile him up. You set your phone face-down and pretend to ignore it. 

He doesn’t respond for a good ten minutes. Your break is almost up when your phone buzzes again. 

It’s a picture. Of him. Your stomach flips and doesn’t settle. 

He’s at work. On a site, somewhere. You can tell — he’s outside, and there’s a stack of plywood planks against a wall behind him. It’s just his lower half in the frame. His toolbelt on his waist, slung low across his jeans. The tops of his work boots. There’s a glove on the floor, where — you assume — he’s ripped it off of his hand. To take the picture, maybe. 

His other hand is still gloved. You know, because it’s in the frame — cupping the outline of his very hard cock.  

You swallow. Your heart dances at the base of your throat. You can guess what he smells like -- leather, sweat, sawdust. You can guess what his face looks like, even though it’s not in frame. You can guess the snarled, desperate look scrawled out across his mouth. 

Thin ice, he writes under the picture. 

You grin. Your face goes hot. You shift a little in your chair, against the pull between your legs.

You: nice belt

You turn your phone off before he can respond. Get the fuck back to work. And it’s your dream job, sure, but — you count the hours until five. 

You spend the rest of that week — your very first week — commuting from your dad’s house. 

Well. That’s not exactly true. You spend two days of that first week commuting from your dad’s house. The other three mornings you wake up in Joel’s bed, and drink Joel’s coffee, and get driven to work in Joel’s passenger seat. 

It also just so happens that those three mornings — when you wake up in Joel’s shirt, and rinse off in Joel’s shower — are the same three mornings you’re almost, almost late to work. 

Which is pure coincidence, of course. It has nothing to do with the way he wakes you: shoulders bunched under the sheets, head bent between your thighs. It has nothing to do with the way he holds you, after: warm and safe and comfortable.

And if your lunch breaks are five, ten minutes longer than they should be — it has nothing to do with the texts that he sends you. The short, clipped — good girl — when you tell him you crushed that meeting. The scruffy selfie — of his face, this time — that he finally sends, on a Friday, after a full week of work and a full week of begging. 

It’s just coincidence. Or maybe just Joel. 

Two weeks after your first day — September 15 — you sign the lease on your brand-new apartment. 

Ten minutes from work. Fifteen from Joel’s. 

Your dad helps you with the first month’s rent, and a down payment on some furniture. You tell him you’ll pay him back, once the paychecks start rolling. He tells you not to worry. 

You’re good, now. You and your dad. Or — better, at least. Things were a little strained, in those few weeks before you moved out. The house felt crowded. Like it was — you, and your dad, and the constant, broad-shouldered specter of Joel Miller. 

So you’re glad you move out when you do. It’s time. You think your dad’s a little relieved, too. 

Plus — you’re psyched to have your own place. You’re excited. Almost as excited as Joel, when he steps over your brand-new threshold and sees just how much shit from Ikea needs building. 

“Hey,” you tell him, when you greet him at the door. “My first visitor.” 

You tilt up on your tiptoes to kiss him. He smiles into your mouth. 

“Got no furniture,” he drawls, when he follows you inside. He looks around — Ikea boxes, half-built-and-then-abandoned bookshelves.

“Gimme a break,” you say. “I’ve been living here for like, twelve hours. And this shit is — way harder than it looks. I tried to put the bedframe together at two in the morning.” 

His lips quirk. 

“And?” 

“I slept on the floor,” you grumble. 

He grins. 

“Good thing y’got an expert,” he purrs. He rakes a hand through his hair. Cocks his head to look at you. “What would ya do without me, I wonder?” 

You scowl. 

“I dunno,” you say. “Hire another hot contractor, probably.” 

He shoots you a look. His hand snakes out to grab your arm and he reels you into his chest. 

You protest weakly. Your laugh muffles in his faded t-shirt. 

“There’s a ton of stuff,” you mumble, with your mouth pressed to his heart. “Are you actually sure you don’t mind?” 

He huffs. His chin scrapes the top of your head. 

“Seriously, if it’s too much — I can do it myself.” 

“No y’cant,” he says, amusedly. 

You roll your eyes. He releases you, finally, and you pull back reluctantly. 

“Okay, well. I can always ask someone else.” 

“No y’cant,” he repeats. That measured, silken drawl. He shakes his head. 

“Will you shut up?” he drawls. He puts his hand to your cheek. Tucks a strand of runaway hair behind your ear. 

“This is nothin’,” he says, with a nod to empty floors and moving boxes. “Nowhere I’d rather be.” 

His hand stalls on your cheek. His thumb strokes an aimless pattern there. 

Your face warms. A smile tugs at the edge of your mouth. 

“Build the bed first,” you tell him, softly. 

His brows quirk. 

“Why?” 

You shrug. Lean into his hand. 

“Faster you build it, faster we can break it in.” 

His eyes glitter. Brown, black. A muscle jumps in his jaw. 

“That a promise?” 

“If you do a good job.” 

He drops his hand. Rolls his shoulders. He looks cocky, you think. Smug.

“Always do a good job,” he says. “‘M a professional.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

You toy with his shirt. Drop your hands to his belt. Your finger drips through a loop in his jeans. 

You don’t even have to touch him, really. He’s that responsive. He’s that fucking — desperate, for you. He hisses softly through his teeth. His hips buck into your hand. His cock swells at the seam of his jeans. 

You squeeze, gently. Just enough to make him groan. 

Then you drop your hand, and take half a step back, and smile at his snarled scowl. 

“Better get to work, then,” you say. 

You hear him swear when you turn your back. Soft. Almost-silent.

“What was that?” you call. 

“Nothin’,” he grumbles. And then, after a beat, “—said y’drive me fuckin’ crazy.” 

“That’s the idea,” you chirp. You pause, on your way into the kitchen. Put a hand out on the doorframe. “Don’t forget the bed.” 

He grumbles again. You grin. 

And then you let him get to work. 

He puts that bed together in a hurry. 

You check on him every now and then. And by every now and then you mean, like — every five minutes, propped in the doorframe with a smirking little smile. He’s rolled his short-sleeve even higher. It’s kind of shamelessly slutty: the sweaty brow, and the work-sloughed hair, the corded muscle-under-tee-shirt look he’s sporting. You can’t help looking. And he can’t help noticing, after the third — or fourth — or maybe fifth time you stop by. 

He turns. He’s on his knees, hammer in hand, and he’s got that worn toolbelt slung low across his waist. The same one from that fucking selfie, just a few weeks back. 

He blinks at you, long and slow. Nods at the frosted cup in your hands. 

“That for me?” 

“Oh.” You look down at the cup. Then back up at him. You do have sort of a vague recollection of filling it up for him, somewhere between check-ins three and four. 

“Yeah,” you say. “Sure.” 

You walk it over to him. He sits back on his knees and lays the hammer down. Swipes his hands off on his jeans. When he takes the glass his fingers nudge yours. 

You watch him down the whole glass in one go. When he’s done he sets it down, on your newly-built nightstand — and offers you a crooked smile. 

“Y’know, ‘f you’re just gonna stand there—” He nods to the doorframe. You blush. “—y’could get down here. ’N help.” 

You consider this. 

“No, thanks,” you say, after a beat. “View’s better from here.” 

He tries not to smile. It’s not very successful. And you should really let him work — the sooner you leave him alone, the sooner you don’t have to sleep on the floor — but you can’t help it. You cross the bedroom in a few short steps. Cup his face in your hands. 

He looks up at you, eyes dark. His knees dig into the floor. 

“Stand up,” you say. 

He gets up. His jeans crinkle. His belt droops, tools clinking. His shirt is damp with sweat. 

You’d been taller than him, just a second ago, when he’d gazed up at you from his knees. It’s easier to boss him around, like that. When you’ve got his chin between your hands. But now that he’s up he towers over you, black eyes gleaming, hands flexing at his sides. 

Your pulse flickers. Heat pools between your legs. 

“Kiss me,” you say. But your voice is softer, now. Thinner. It doesn’t sound like a command, so much as a plea. 

His lips curve. He’s suddenly very — very — close to you. 

“Ain’t finished,” he murmurs. 

You look past him, at the bed. It looks more or less finished to you. There’s a frame. A headboard. A mattress. And — sure, a few screws still scattered on the ground, but — 

“Yeah, you are,” you mumble. 

You pull him closer. Put your fingers in his hair. He groans a little, when you tug at his roots and tip his mouth to yours. 

“Fuck,” he growls. His breath paints your skin. Soft, smoky. He kisses you again — messier, more desperate, and his tongue swipes your lower lip. He licks into your mouth and you melt to his chest. 

You rake your hands up his sides. Make fists in the fabric there. You yank at his shirt and the cotton rides up. 

He breaks your kiss. Just for a second. Just to peel his shirt off over his head. 

He throws it somewhere in the corner. It hooks the edge of an unopened box and crumples there. 

Then he looks at you, smirking slightly, and you stare right back. 

Toned chest. Tanned skin, shiny with sweat. The toolbelt on his waist makes his jeans slouch, exposing the band of black boxers. 

If you put some suspenders on him — maybe oiled him up a little — he could probably star in one of those sexy fireman calendars. Full page spread. He’d be splashed across one of the sexy months, too. Like…June. Or October. 

You blink. His mismatched smile gets wider. 

“Go on,” he drawls. 

He tips his chin over your shoulder. To the finished-but-not-quite-actually finished bed. 

You stumble back until your legs hit mattress. Drop down with a breathless sort of sigh. There aren’t even any sheets on the bed. Nothing to grab, when he stands over you and nudges your knees apart with his. 

He reaches for his belt. You lean forward to stop him. 

“Wait,” you say. “Leave it.” 

He pauses. His hand hovers over leather. He almost looks confused, but then his gaze mellows out. Something more smug takes its place. More amused. 

“Really?” He hooks a thumb through the belt. His jeans droop lower. You can read the Calvin Klein scrawled in white across his boxers. “Y’like this, angel?” 

You swallow. His jaw flickers. 

“Y’do,” he drawls. He shakes his head. “Fuckin’ — filthy.” 

You tug at the toolbelt. He lets you drag him closer, til the tops of his thighs bump the edge of the bed. 

He drops his own hands from his belt. Holds them up, briefly, in an I surrender gesture. You win. The shirt is off, but the rest stays on. The leather toolbelt, the jeans, the work boots. 

For now, at least. 

He shifts focus to you. To your clothes, and the fact that you’re wearing entirely too many. 

You haven’t exactly dressed up — you’ve been unpacking all day, in a pair of denim cutoffs and a plain white tee. 

It doesn’t matter. The look he gives you is fucking — starving. Eyes black, lips parted. Shallow, hungry breaths. 

He drags his hands up your thighs. Hooks a knuckle in your waistband. 

“Up,” he says, gently. 

You lift your hips for him. Arch your back up, off of the mattress. He works your shorts off, over your knees, and tosses them by his forgotten shirt. Your panties, too. He slides them down, past your ankles, and lets them dangle from his index finger. 

Something — or someone — thumps above you. You both look up. 

“Y’got neighbors,” he muses. 

He closes his fist around your panties. You watch the fabric seep over his knuckles. 

“So?” you whine. It sounds a lot like please just fuck me already.

“So,” he drawls, “better keep ya quiet.” 

His smile spells trouble. His fingers flex around your panties. 

“‘Less y’wanna make a real strong first impression.” 

You’re not sure what, exactly, he has in mind, but the look he gives you makes your pulse race. You sink back into the mattress, propped up on your elbows, and watch him with a wide-eyed stare. 

His gaze drops: your eyes to your mouth. He nods. 

“Open,” he says. 

Your stomach flutters. You open your mouth, tentative at first and then wider, when he unfurls his fist and shoves your own soaked panties into your mouth. 

You whimper. Close your teeth around the fabric. They taste like you, and they taste like him: like the salt on his hands, stained into damp cotton. 

You mumble his name. It comes out muffled; muted. You breathe through your nose and watch him through hooded eyes. 

He wraps both hands around your calves and drags you closer. You lose your balance — your elbows go out, and your head thumps the mattress. You lie flat, legs spread, knees crooked over the edge of the bed. 

You’re panting. So is he. You can hear it, in the quiet. You see his chest rise and fall when he sinks to his knees. 

You lift your head off the mattress to look him in the eye. 

“Yeah?” he asks, softly. He’s got both hands wrapped loose around your ankles. His face is eye-level with your twitching hips. “Okay?” 

Yeah, you want to scream. Fucking — more than okay. 

But you can’t say anything, thanks to the makeshift gag across your tongue. You can’t tell him how badly you want him. 

So you just — nod, once, like — yes, fuck, yes — and drop your head back to the mattress. A muffled, mangled whine seeps under the gag. 

“Good,” he rumbles. He sounds satisfied. His voice is low, silk-smooth. “Good girl.” 

He bows his head, and you expect him to taste you. You expect his tongue, hot and slick and velvet-soft. You lift your hips; tip your chin to the ceiling. Whine, softly, when a minute passes and his mouth doesn’t land. 

And then you hear him spit — not onto his hand, like that night in the cabin — but directly onto your cunt. Your skin prickles; snaps. The heat in your core bubbles over. You drive your hips up toward his mouth and swear into cotton. 

He splays a hand across your thigh. Holds you down when your hips cant up. His other hand sneaks higher, playing with the mess he’s made. He rubs slick, soaked circles on your clit. Slides the tips of two fingers just barely — barely — into you. 

Your back arches. You call him every fucking name under the sun and none of it translates. His stupid panty gag works infuriatingly well. 

You resort to pleading, instead, which also doesn’t translate and which he also ignores. He takes his time. And when your pleas filter through — he goes even slower. 

He crooks his fingers. Drags them through your folds, agonizingly slow, and lets his spit and your slick drip down his knuckles. 

“Goddamn,” he marvels. “You’re fuckin’ — soaked.” 

“Mmph,” you whine. It translates roughly to fuck you.

Your hips writhe. You leave creased, crescent marks in the mattress where your nails dig in. 

His hand tightens on your thigh. Holds you firmly in place. He pushes two fingers inside you — his index, then his middle — and you make a choked, desperate sound. 

He slides in easily. You’re more than ready for him. Your muscles flicker, hugging his fingers, dragging him deeper with a sweet, stinging squeeze.

“Fuck,” he murmurs. His thumb works circles on your clit. Always attentive, even with his breath pitched and his eyes half-lidded. “Want it bad, huh?” 

“Mmmmmph,” you whimper. Longer. More plaintive. Something like — really, seriously, fuck you. For real.

He smiles. The edge of his lip turns up. 

“Speak up,” he says. “Can’t hear ya.” 

Your legs tense. Your stomach swirls, white-hot. You curse him out again, under the gag, and his smile goes lopsided. 

“Hang on,” he says. 

He leans forward. Tugs your panties out from between your teeth. 

You gasp. Suck in a breath. 

“You were sayin’?” he drawls. 

He’s so smug. So cocky. Your stubborn, logical, independent brain says — fuck you. 

Your mouth says — 

“Fuck me.” 

He grins. Stuffs the panties back into your mouth. Then he leans back on his haunches, between your thighs, and pries your legs apart with two broad hands. 

“You’re impatient,” he drawls. 

“Mm. Mmmph.”

His brows flick. He looks up at you, face framed between your thighs. The image makes your stomach clench. 

“Gimme a minute,” he says, and he sounds like he’s bargaining — even though he’s in control, even though you can’t speak, with your panties stuffed between your teeth. He sounds like he’s asking. “Wanna taste you first.” 

Your jaw screws tight. Heat floods your skin. You nod once — shallow, short. 

Yes. Fuck — yes.

His smile digs deeper. His eyes go dark. His head bows, curls dripping — and his tongue darts out to taste you. 

You yelp. Sharp, shrill. Your teeth grind into cotton. He’s still got two fingers buried deep inside you; crooked, soaked, tipped up against your g-spot — and now his tongue is on your clit. And it’s almost — fucking — too much. You have to pull your head up, off of the mattress, and tangle your hands in his hair. 

His tongue slides lower. His stubble rakes the seam of your thigh. You yank at his roots, dragging out a groan, and he pulls his mouth away. His fingers flex against your core. 

“Fuck,” he murmurs. “Y’taste good, baby.” 

He nods at your mouth. At your panties shoved against your tongue. 

“Yeah?” he drawls. “Ain’t that right, angel?” 

It’s the first time you’ve ever really tasted yourself. Apart from on his fingers, or on his lips. 

You look at him, wide-eyed. Nod, softly. 

“Yeah,” he mumbles. He looks pleased. “Taste like fuckin’ heaven.” 

His head dips, again. He licks a stripe up your clit and your eyes roll up, up, up — to the ceiling, to the lazy fan doing circles there. You let the heat in your core boil over, and when it starts to spill you call his name. 

It’s still muffled. Still muted. But he feels you tighten, fast, around his knuckles. He sees the way your skin starts to shiver. 

He lifts his mouth from your cunt. His lips are soaked, swollen. 

“You wanna cum, baby?” His fingers slow, notched inside you. His breath dances up your clit. 

“Yeah, y’do,” he murmurs. “Can feel ya.” 

You whine. He smirks. 

“You wanna talk?” he murmurs. “Wanna tell me how it feels?” 

You whine again. Writhe against him. His name filters through the fabric as a long, stuttered whimper.

“Poor baby,” he says. “Look so pretty like this, though.” 

Your legs tremble. You kick your feet out, lift your hips — anything to get his mouth back on you. Anything to get him to make you cum, please, right fucking now. 

He slides his tongue inside you. Drags it back out when your nails rake his hair. 

“’S alright,” he drawls. His eyes flick to meet yours. They look black. “You’re doin’ good, babygirl. You’re doin’ fuckin’ —”

Slips his tongue back inside you. Paints a rhythm with his fingers. Your head falls back and the ceiling fan starts to spin. 

“—good,” he purrs. “Real good.” 

He’s so vocal, right now. You remember when you couldn’t force a word out of him. Now you can’t shut him up, with his tongue wrapped up on you. 

So much for the neighbors, you think, absently, when he finds a pace that makes you limp. He’s making enough noise for the both of you.

He hits a spot — that spot — deep inside you, with his tongue and with his fingers — and you shout into the cotton. Fist your fingers in his hair. His smile curves somewhere against you. 

“Attagirl,” he says. “Let go.” 

You yank at his hair. A last-ditch effort to ground yourself, maybe. And then you’re falling apart, begging him close, and your knuckles go white with your vision. 

Fuck, you think. Holy fuck.

It comes out as a whine. Again. You think he gets the gist. 

You’re beyond wrecked, when he tips forward on his knees. You don’t feel him reach — across your scrawled, splayed shape — and rip the cotton right out of your mouth. 

In fact — you’re not even aware that your gag is gone, really, until you’re already pulling for a breath. Your jaw goes slack. Your whimper pitches. The taste of salt sweat isn’t staining your tongue. 

“F—” You drag a big breath in, through your mouth. Then another. “Oh my — god.” 

You try to sit up. The bed creaks underneath you. And not a — we’re fucking! — kind of creak. But, like — an ominous, something is broken — kind of creak. An oh no kind of creak. 

You stay perfectly, immovably still. But it’s too little, too late. Something shifts. The bed frame pops. The mattress groans, then slides to the left. 

You broke the bed. The bed Joel insisted wasn’t finished. The bed you insisted looked finished enough.

The headboard jerks. One of the screws screams loose.

Yep. Definitely broken. 

Joel blinks. He’s still on his knees, still on the ground, forearms still perched on the edge of the bed. 

“Shit,” he mumbles. 

You laugh. The bed squeals. 

He drags you off the bed before the whole thing crumbles. You half-fall, half-drop onto the floor beside him. 

You land in a heap. He rolls you over, onto your back, and hooks a leg over your waist. Swings his chest over yours. Your shoulders sink into the carpet. 

“I fuckin’—” he kisses your neck, your jaw, the side of your lips, “—told you—” 

—your cheek. Your nose. Your mouth, finally. 

“—it wasn’t finished.” 

You look up at him. His nose bumps yours. 

“It looked finished,” you say. 

He groans. Rolls his eyes. When he dips to bite your neck you rut your hips into his. 

“Really?” you whisper. “On the floor?” 

There’s a wicked smile dog-earing his lip. 

“Y’broke the bed,” he says. “So. ‘Less you’d rather wait t’fix it—

“No,” you tell him. “Floor’s good.” 

“Mmhmm,” he agrees. “Floor’s good.” 

So he fucks you on the floor, in your brand-new apartment, with your poor bed on life support two creaking feet away. 

He doesn’t tug at the hem of your shirt, and you’re grateful. Your back is on the ground, digging into carpet. You can’t imagine the rug-burn, if he were to tear it off. Although at this point — you’re not sure you’d care. 

He leaves an open-mouth kiss on the side of your throat, and the contact makes you shout. Fuck the neighbors. You’ll smooth it over later, with a — pound of sugar, or a cake, or whatever people bring over these days. You’ve never been much for first impressions anyway. 

He grinds his hips down into yours. He’s still got his jeans on, and his toolbelt, and his boots are digging wells in the carpet. You whine a little — at the scrape of denim and the rasp of leather on your skin. Your nails scrabble on the floor. You’re tearing up tufts of fiber, scratching the hell out of your brand-new carpet, but — you don’t care. 

You don’t care. 

You drag your hands up to his waist. Pull at the belt there. Now you want it off. 

“‘Bout time,” he drawls. 

He leans back on his knees and leaves you pulling for breath. He unclasps the belt and throws it carelessly to the side. The tools skitter across the carpet. You watch a Philips screwdriver roll under the bed. You try to reach for it and he swats your hand away. 

“Leave it,” he growls. 

Then he undoes his jeans — just the button, and the zip — and falls back over you. You hook a finger in his waistband and shove them down past his hips. His boxers, too. Just enough to let his cock spring free. 

You reach for him. Wrap a hand around his length. You squeeze at his base, drag your fist up his cock, and he groans. His hips stutter into your hand. 

You swipe your thumb over his tip. Precum soaks your fingertip, slick and glossy, and his jaw goes tight. His eyes droop. 

“Fuck,” he hisses. You drop your hand and he takes the lead; positions himself at your dripping entrance. The arm braced beside your head trembles slightly. 

“You want it?” he murmurs, and his voice sounds broken, like it’s taking everything in him not to just — fuck you senseless. You wish he would. 

“Yes,” you yelp. “Fuck. Joel. Pl—ease.” 

“How bad?” 

What the fuck, you want to scream. You writhe under him. Just please fuck m—

He slides into you. Just the tip. Your hips buck, begging him deeper. 

He doesn’t move. Your core clenches around him. Your skin bursts into flame. 

“Bad,” you pant, and it sounds like a plea. “More than — fuck — that.” 

“All of you,” you beg him, when he still doesn’t move. “Joel, pl—fuck, please, I want a-all of you.” 

He blinks. His eyes soften. He drags out of you, and your heart sinks — and then he’s flexing his hips, thrusting down into you, filling you up til your throat tangles. 

“Good girl,” he mutters. His jeans scuff your thighs. His cock nudges your g-spot, harder than his fingers, and you whine. “’S all y’had to say.” 

And then he kisses you, and your mind goes blank. Your legs fall wider and he fucks you harder, faster, curling his big hand in the carpet by your head. He’s got his teeth on your lip and his tongue in your mouth and he’s talking to you between kisses — little words, obscene things, begging you to let him hear it. 

Eventually you’re not really kissing — it’s too much work, and you’re both too distracted, and you can’t think straight with him this deep inside you. It’s just — messy, desperate — and when he hits something new inside you he swallows up your strangled moan. You bite down on his lip so hard you taste metal. 

“Fuck,” you gasp. There’s blood staining his lip. You bit him. “Fuck, sorry, I—”

He drives his hips down; fills you up. You whimper and throw your head back. So much for apologizing. 

You’re not sure he even notices. If he does he doesn’t care. He bends his head back to your neck, nipping at the thin skin there, and mutters low against your throat — 

“C’mon, baby. Lemme hear.” 

“What about the n—ngh—neighbors?” you pant. Your head feels foggy. Your eyes are glassy. Your limbs feel heavy but the rest of you is light, floaty, weightless. Like it’s all wrapped up in him. 

He pauses. Just long enough to punch out — 

“Fuck ‘em,” in that low, serrated drawl. 

“Fuck ‘em,” you agree, mindlessly. 

You tip your head back, onto the carpet. He snaps his hips, and bites down on your neck, and it’s rough and dirty and — on the fucking floor — but it’s always, always gentle. In that way that only he can be. 

He knows just how hard to bite, so he doesn’t draw blood the way that you did. He knows when to slow down, when your breathing starts to stumble. He knows how to talk you through it, when you fall apart — with soft, quiet praise and his lips on your jaw. 

He lets go, when you beg him to. When you run nails down his spine and plead with him to follow. His hips jerk and he spills inside you, muscles twitching. He rolls over — so he doesn’t crush you — and lays panting on his back across the carpet. 

You turn over, onto your side. Nuzzle into his shoulder. Then you sit up, and swing your leg over his chest, and this time it’s you climbing on top of him. You straddle his stomach and stare down at him, all messy hair and wild eyes and tired, sweat-slick skin. 

You put a hand to his mouth. Run a tentative finger past his lip. 

“I bit you,” you say. 

He lifts a brow. The corner of his lip twitches. You feel it, against your hand. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Should do it more often.” 

Your eyes shoot to him. He’s really smiling now — crooked, gleaming. He catches your hand in his and kisses your fingertips. 

You roll your eyes. Laugh a little, then a lot, when he rolls you back over and buries his nose in your neck. Your arms come up to wrap around his shoulders. Light, loose. You rake your nails through his hair and he smiles. 

You stay like that for a long time. On the floor, on that carpet, just — touching. Just — together. The shadows on the carpet get longer, darker. The sun outside your window wanes. 

“I guess,” you say, after a protracted silence, “technically, we did break the bed in.” 

He’s sprawled out on his side, somewhere beside you. He turns his head to frown at you. 

“Emphasis on broke,” you add. 

He shakes his head. Laughs. He gives a heavy sigh and you watch his eyes sparkle. 

“I’ll fix it,” he grumbles. 

“Mm.” 

You nuzzle closer, into him. Kiss his neck. 

“I’ll order some food,” you say. 

You eat on the floor, in the living room, with your backs to the couch. Chinese food. Takeout. There’s no table, yet, because Joel hasn’t built it. 

He was supposed to build it. Right after the bed. He was also supposed to build the coffee table, and the bookshelves, and the television stand, and a laundry list of other things you can’t remember right now. 

He told you he could do it in a day. He’s a professional. 

But that was before you’d distracted him. That was before he’d fucked you into the floor, and spent the better part of the late afternoon fixing the bed you’d already broken. 

So — yeah. You have no furniture, except for one half-finished, fixed, and then finished-for-real bed. 

It’s good enough. You don’t mind eating on the floor in happy silence, with a candle burning and the TV on. He can build the rest tomorrow. It gives him a reason to spend the night. 

Not that he needs one. 

“You know you’re gonna have to stay the night,” you tell him, matter-of-fact, when Say Yes to the Dress goes to commercial break. 

He tears his eyes from the screen. He’s got a beer in his hand and an egg roll two-thirds of the way to his mouth. 

“Yeah?” He blinks. His lips twitch. “How’s that?” 

“Technically, you’re responsible for breaking my bed,” you say. 

“I fixed your damn bed.” 

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t have broken in the first place if you hadn’t—” you make a vague, ambiguous gesture. He looks amused. “You know.” 

“Oh, so you didn’t like that?”

“I didn’t say that,” you snap, nudging his knee. You stifle a smile. “I just said it was your fault.” 

He hums. Sips his beer. 

“So. You owe me. You can build the rest of the shit in the morning.” 

He pretends to think this over. Munches on his egg roll. 

“We can start with the table,” you say. 

“Alright,” he says, finally. “I’ll help ya build your table.” 

He smiles. Boyish; wicked. 

“‘F ya help me break it.” 

Say Yes to the Dress comes back on. You snatch his egg roll clean out of his hand and finish it off in one bite.

“Deal,” you tell him. You nod to the TV. “Now watch.” 

Joel’s birthday rolls around almost two weeks later. September 26th. It’s a Friday, this year. 

Which is great, because the second you get off work — 5 o’clock, on the nose — you’re peeling into the Party City parking lot. And you’re peeling out with way too many balloons, and party hats that’ll make him groan, and a big red bow for his very top-secret, very surprise birthday present. 

Sarah texts you in the parking lot. You lean on the shopping cart and dig your phone out of your pocket. 

Sarah: CODE BLUE is go

You smile. Shake your head. 

You: you know you don’t have to use the code name when it’s just us

Sarah: but it’s fun

Sarah: top-secret mission

You roll your eyes. Laugh. Sarah texts again. 

Sarah: i’ll bring him over at like 8?

You: yeah

You hesitate. Your fingers hover on the keys. 

You: you’re sure he’ll like this?

She takes a while to respond. Your heart draws a lazy, nervous pattern in your chest. 

Sarah: that is literally the dumbest question ever

Sarah: YES.

Sarah: plus he loves you, so.

Sarah: you could get him, like, a brick and he’d still love it

Sarah: actually he’d probably love a brick. that’s like. some old man contractor shit

Sarah: it’s not too late. you could return the surprise. and get him a brick

You: please shut up

Sarah: love you

You grin. You push the cart forward, in the general direction of your car, and you’re so busy texting back love you, too — you don’t see a woman step directly in your path. 

She puts a hand on the front of your cart. You look up — yelp a startled, aborted apology —  and pull it to a stop. 

“Shit—” you stow your phone back in your pocket, “—sorry. Wasn’t paying attention.”

“Clearly,” she clips. 

You blink back the sun. It’s hot, still — September in Texas might as well be July — and the heat is lifting off the pavement. You have to tip your sunglasses down over your nose to see this woman clearly. 

Oh, you think, for fuck’s sake.

Alicia Simmons is standing in front of you, one hand on your shopping cart, faux-leather ankle boots planted on the pavement like a…nightmare mirage. 

Your nose crinkles. You do your best impression of a smile. 

“Alicia,” you say.

“Ms Simmons,” she corrects. 

You blink. She lowers her angled, vulture-nose and inspects the contents of your cart. A bouquet of brown-and-silver balloons. Party hats with the little foam toppers. A stack of bright red solo cups. 

“Having a party?” she asks. 

“Uh.” You shift uncomfortably. “Yeah.” 

You don’t like this woman. You don’t like the smug, botoxed swell of her cheeks, or her artificial twang — you’re pretty sure she’s from New Jersey — or her stick-straight, platinum-blonde hair, so bleached it’s almost white. You don’t like the way she sunk her claws into Joel on the Fourth of July, and again at that fucking movie night. But really you don’t like the way she looks at you, like you’re — expendable. Disposable. A very shaky rung on her very desperate ladder.  

She doesn’t have a cart, but she’s clearly on her way out of the store. She’s lugging two bags of plastic champagne flutes close to her chest. 100 per bag, for $14.99. You can see the price tags, peeking out between her fingers. You wonder if she’s hosting, too — or if they’re all for her. You don’t ask. 

“A birthday?” she probes. She hasn’t let go of your cart. 

You take your sunglasses off. Fold them up. 

“Yeah,” you say. 

“Joel’s,” you add, when she doesn’t fucking move. 

She takes a full step back. Her boots clackclack on the asphalt. 

“Joel Miller?" she asks. 

You squint. Nod. 

“Joel’s birthday,” she repeats. She looks puzzled, like she can’t quite square it. “That’s funny. He didn’t mention.” 

You bristle a little. 

Why the fuck would he mention? you want to ask. 

“Oh,” you say, instead. “Well.” 

“I ran into him the other day,” she says, by way of explanation. “I was on a walk around the block. He just happened to be in his driveway.” 

You’re met with a very vivid image of this woman lurking by her kitchen window, peeking through the blinds, waiting for Joel to emerge from his house. 

“Okay,” you say, again. You nudge your cart forward. Move. 

“He didn’t say anything about a birthday,” she says. “I just — figure he would have mentioned, if he was having a party.” 

“Mm.” You drum your fingers on the cart. “Well, it’s — he’s pretty private, so —” 

“But he invited you,” she says. It sounds accusatory. Mean. 

“Not really,” you say. “I mean — it’s my party. For him.” 

“Oh,” she says. There’s a pregnant pause. Heat beads on the seams of her snakeskin pants. “I see.” 

“Yeah,” you say. You push the cart forward. More purposeful, this time. “So, actually, I have to go get ready for that—”

She puts a hand out to stop you. Like, physically stops you. 

“He said he had a girlfriend,” she blurts. 

You pause. Heat floods your face. Not from the sun, this time. 

“Sorry?” 

“A girlfriend,” she repeats. “I asked myself in, for a glass of wine. He wouldn’t let me in the door. Said he had a girlfriend.” 

You’re silent. You know you should be annoyed, and you are, but — 

You’ve just never heard Joel call you that, before. It’s not like you don’t know exactly what you are. It’s just — different, hearing the actual word. Even if it’s second-hand, from Alicia Simmons’s lips. 

You stifle a smile. But then she’s talking again, and it fades as quickly as it comes. 

“I just assumed he was blowing me off,” she says. “I didn’t know he meant—”

She scoffs. Makes a semi-disgusted gesture in your general direction.

You lift a brow. 

“But — you’re so young,” she stammers. “And—”

You listen patiently. You can’t wait to hear this and. But she trails off, instead, and makes another confusingly rude gesture. Your jaw flickers. 

“Unless—” she nods, like she’s convincing herself, “—did he mean you?” 

She sounds hopeful. Like — maybe it’s not true. Maybe you can set her addled mind at ease. 

“Well,” you say, “he certainly didn’t mean you.” 

She settles into stunned silence. 

You smile. Push the cart past her. 

“Always a pleasure,” you tell her. 

The party starts at eight. You decorate the whole apartment — tacky Happy Birthday banner on the wall, balloon bouquet by the couch. Party hats on a silver tray. Beer on ice in the kitchen sink.  It’s not much, but it’s cute. It’s quaint. You want him to like it. 

And he does, when he walks through your door with Sarah at his side. She hugs you first, well before he can reach you. She bowls over the threshold and tugs you into her chest. 

“Is it here?” she whispers. 

You grin into her neck. 

“Bedroom,” you whisper back. 

She squeals happily. She breaks your hug and bounds past you, into the kitchen, and you watch her pluck a White Claw from the sink. Joel frowns. 

“I can see you,” he shouts. 

“Then don’t look,” she shouts back. 

He shakes his head. Smiles. His gaze drops, back to you, and his eyes rake your body. Your heels, your hair. The little black dress you wore just for him. 

“Hey,” he says, softly. 

“Hi.” 

He bends his head. Catches your mouth in a light, happy kiss. 

“Y’look beautiful,” he murmurs. 

Your heart flips, the way it always does when he looks at you like that. You resist the urge to pull him back down into another — longer, slightly more desperate kiss. Sarah might be cool, but — still. She doesn’t need to turn around and see your tongue down her dad’s throat. 

So — 

“Thanks,” you say, instead. You sound soft. Shy. You smooth your dress down, and his eyes follow. 

“’N this—” he gestures toward your apartment — now fully furnished — and the decorations you’ve hung. The balloons, the hats. The lopsided banner. “Y’didn’t have to—” 

“Shut up,” you say. “Just say it looks good.” 

He grins. 

“Looks great,” he says, earnestly. He nods at your balloon bouquet. 

“Brown balloons,” he says. “Nice touch.” 

“Mm. Your favorite color. I think I’m, like, the first person ever to clear out Party City’s brown ballon stock.” 

He laughs. The sound makes you smile. 

“You know I ran into Alicia Simmons today,” you say. 

He groans. 

“She told me that Joel Miller told her that he had a girlfriend.” 

“Mm,” he hums. He looks amused. “Did he?” 

“Apparently.” Your lip twitches. “She must be pretty cool, your girlfriend. Really cool, even.” 

“She’s somethin’,” he drawls. 

You shoot him a look. His goofy grin is contagious. You lean in — to punch his arm, playfully, or tug him down into a kiss — and the door jumps behind his back. Someone knocks twice and then twice more. 

“Hold that thought,” you say. 

You walk around him. Pull open the door. The younger Miller brother greets you there, leaning up against the doorframe. He’s got a Carhartt jacket on and a scrawled, sloping smile. His hair is tucked behind his ears. 

“Tommy,” you say. 

His grin widens. White teeth and happy eyes. He looks softer than Joel: clean-shaven, friendlier — but the resemblance is there. In the heavy walk, in the Southern slope of his words. 

“The famous hostess,” he drawls. “Thanks for the invite. Heard a lot about ya.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

You look over at Joel. He’s staring at Tommy, like he can’t quite believe his little brother’s at the door. Like he can’t quite believe everyone’s here just for… him. 

You look back at Tommy. 

“Good things, hopefully.” 

“Very good,” he says. He drops his voice, conspiratorially. “Ain’t never seen him like this,” he says. “Tried t’throw him a party, a few years back, ’n he nearly kicked my ass. You —” he nods, “—are somethin’ special.” 

Your cheeks flush. You step aside to let him in and he approaches Joel with his arms outstretched. 

“Birthday boy,” he crows. “Bring it in, big brother.” 

Joel’s jaw flickers. But he lets himself be hugged, and you watch him plant an awkward slap on his brother’s back. He looks at you over Tommy’s shoulder. 

Thank you, he mouths. 

You nod. Your cheeks warm. He looks happy. 

The next hour passes happily. You sneak away every so often to check on his present, tucked away in your bedroom. Your excuses for slipping away get more and more elaborate. 

When you come back out the third or fourth time, Sarah’s hooked the TV up and wrestled two controllers out of the cabinet. She’s midway through a very contentious Mario Kart race with Tommy — Coconut Mall, judging by the music — and she’s winning by a landslide, if Tommy’s increasingly colorful language is any indication. 

Joel’s watching amusedly from the couch, legs kicked up on the coffee table. He takes a sip of beer and smiles into the rim. 

You settle onto the couch beside him. Nuzzle into his silk collar. You watch Sarah finish in first place.

“She’s good,” you say, absently. 

“Mm,” Joel mumbles. You’re not sure he’s listening. His fingers are ghosting your leg, drawing aimless patterns up your thigh. His knuckles brush the hem of your dress. 

The dress you’d picked out, put on — worn just for him. 

Your skin pricks under his touch. If he’d just — slide his hand higher, higher — he’d see the panties you’ve worn just for him, too. Black. Lace. Almost soaked, now, just from his fingers on the crest of your thigh. 

You tip your head into his shoulder. Toy with the collar on his black button-down. 

“I love you,” he mutters. Just low enough for you to hear. 

“You’re just drunk,” you tease. 

His hand tightens on your leg. 

“No,” he growls. “I love you.” 

You look up at him. His eyes are dark. 

“How much?” you whisper. 

The look he gives you says enough. 

A lot.

More than anything.

You swallow. Heat races up your neck. 

“You dressed up,” you mumble. And he did — black silk button-down, black jeans. Boots with laces that don’t look like a Labrador chewed them. “For your birthday?” 

He turns his head from the screen. Drops his voice. 

“For you,” he says. 

Fuck it. You’re about to drag him off to your bedroom — Tommy and Sarah are distracted enough — when someone else knocks at your door. 

Sarah pauses the game. Tommy looks over his shoulder. 

“You expectin’ someone else?” he asks. “Joel, y’ain’t got this many friends.” 

Joel glowers at him. You get up, smoothing your crinkled dress, and your heart is fucking — pounding — because you know who’s at that door. 

You undo the lock. Pull open the door. Your dad is standing on the threshold with a poorly-wrapped present in his hands. 

“Hey,” you say, softly. “You came.” 

Joel appears at your shoulder. You can feel him behind you. Your dad looks up — looks at him — and then drops his gaze. 

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “That okay?” 

He’s addressing Joel. Not you. So you let Joel respond. 

“‘Course,” Joel says, after a beat. He steps back, and so do you. “Come on in.” 

The first few minutes with your dad are tense. Sarah hovers at your side like a German Shepherd, like she’s just — willing him to say some shit. At one point she takes your hand, squeezes it. You squeeze back. 

She gives you a look. You good?

You nod. Yeah. 

And you are. It’s — good. It’s fun. Tommy and Sarah are buffers, and your dad is on his best behavior. He’s polite. He asks Tommy about work and Sarah about school. He wishes Joel a happy birthday in a low, deferential tone. 

“Glad ya came,” Joel tells him. He puts a hand on your dad’s arm and neither flinches. 

Mario Kart starts back up. Your dad has a drink — for courage, he says, and Joel laughs — and then plays Sarah. She’s unbeatable, so he commiserates with Tommy. They form a loser’s circle in the kitchen by an open box of pizza.  

Joel lopes off to join them. Sarah sidles up to you. 

“Code Blue?” she asks, in a hushed stage whisper. 

“I thought we nixed the code name thing,” you say. 

“You nixed the code name thing,” she says. “I vetoed your veto. Code names are fun.”

You roll your eyes. You watch the men in the kitchen fight over the last slice of pepperoni. 

“Okay,” you tell her. “Go wrangle them. I’ll go get his present.” 

“Fuck yeah,” she hisses. She turns back when she’s almost to the kitchen.

“Don’t forget the bow,” she whispers. 

You shoo her off. Slip away, into the bedroom. You can hear her issuing orders behind the door — put the pizza down. come into the living room. put your party hats on. no, it’s not negotiable. we’re doing birthday things. okay. good. lights off. dad, close your eyes. no, seriously, close them. i don’t care if you don’t want to. there you go.

The light flicks off under your bedroom door. Sarah leads a very off-key rendition of Happy Birthday.

That’s your cue. You wander over to the foot of your bed and collect a snoring, large-pawed, Bernese Mountain Dog puppy off the duvet. There’s a tiny buckle collar on his neck. A hanging silver bone-tag that reads BLUE.

“Alright, dude,” you tell him. He opens one, drooping eye. You hold him up to your face and he licks at your cheek. “Showtime.” 

You swipe the red bow off your nightstand. Affix it haphazardly to his big, square head. Then you hoist him up, against your chest — he’s fucking heavy, already — and push open your door. 

They’re halfway through Happy Birthday when you step out, dog in tow. Joel’s got his eyes closed. Sarah’s blindfolded him with a dish towel for good measure. 

Everyone else turns to look at you, the second you step out. Sarah gasps — like, audibly gasps — and loses her place in the song. Tommy grins that lopsided grin. Your dad smiles — but he looks uncomfortable, you think. A little nervous. 

You join in the song. Joel’s brows perk up over the blindfold, like he’s just now registered your presence. He sits up straighter on the couch. 

You walk over to him. Blue wriggles in your arms when he sees Joel, like somehow in his tiny, play-doh puppy brain he’s recognized that that’s his person. His bow slips to the side. You push it back up. 

The song winds down. You put Blue down gently, gently, in Joel’s lap. 

There’s a very long, very quiet moment of silence. Blue’s freakishly giant paws dig into Joel’s jeans. And then his tail starts to wag — thumpthumpthump — and Joel’s hands come up to bury in his fur. His mouth parts. A shocked noise slips past his lips. 

His hand shoots up. He undoes the dish-rag blindfold and it falls behind him to the couch. 

He looks at Blue, tunneling into his lap. Then at you. 

“You’re hard to shop for,” you say, quietly. 

He blinks. His eyes are wide. You’ve never seen them look so — light.

“He’s—” he picks up the dog, holds him in two big hands, “—y’got him for me?” 

“Well, yeah,” you say. 

He stares at Blue. Blue stares back. 

“You better like him,” you say. “There’s no gift receipt.” 

He blinks again. And then he laughs — like, actually, genuinely laughs, deep and rumbling and happy — and brings the dog up to his heart. 

“Goddamn it,” he mumbles. “He’s cute.” 

“Language,” Sarah chides. She’s grinning. “He’s a baby.” 

She joins him on the couch, and then Tommy does too — until all three Millers are thoroughly distracted. They pass Blue around like a very large, very heavy potato. His bow slips off, somewhere on the floor, and no one picks it up. 

You slide over to your dad. He’s sitting back in a slouched chair. 

“Okay?” you ask him. 

“Yeah.” He nods toward the dog. “You did good,” he says. “He’ll love that thing.” 

“Yeah,” you echo. 

You think about that story Joel told you, a long time ago now, about that flea-ridden dog on the side of the road. How he found it, fed it, took it back to your house. How your dad kicked them both to the curb. 

You wonder if he’s thinking about that, now. You wonder if he regrets it. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, softly, like he can read your mind. “I shoulda said it. Weeks ago. But — I’m sorry.” 

You nod. 

“I know,” you tell him. 

He settles back into his chair. 

It’s a step, you think. It’s a start. 

It takes a long, long time to get the party back on track. Introducing a puppy an hour into the festivities is a surefire way to derail the night. 

But you do, eventually, manage to pull focus. Joel opens the rest of his presents on the floor, while Blue chomps away at discarded wrapping paper. He looks like a kid on Christmas. The whole scene makes you smile. He makes you smile. 

Sarah gets him a set of brand-new, painted picks for his guitar. She did them herself, she explains, in her downtime between classes. She bends to kiss him on the cheek and he ruffles her hair. You hear his gruff thank you, kiddo when she melts into his hug. 

Tommy gives him a bottle of whiskey, which is already open and only two-thirds full. Joel turns it over in his hands and looks up, nonplussed.

“Had t’try it,” Tommy explains. “Make sure it wasn’t — poisoned.” 

Joel lifts a brow. Shakes his head. He stows the whiskey on the ground, beside the wrapping paper, and Blue gives it a hearty sniff. His nose crinkles. 

Your dad forks over his present. It’s eerily quiet while Joel works at the wrapping, like everyone is half afraid a grenade might tumble out. Or a — bag of snakes, or a bomb. 

But it’s just a book — a worn, wrinkled book — and Joel holds it to the light to read the title. Birds of America. There’s a pair of mallards painted on the cover. 

“Found it in my office,” your dad says, gruffly. “Know ya — like that kinda thing.” 

Joel looks up, surprised. So do you. So does Sarah. 

“Yeah,” he says, after a minute. He sets the book down gently on the coffee table. Pulls Blue away when he snaps at the edge. “Thank you.” 

Your dad mutters. Nods. You look at Sarah and she shrugs. Progress.

“What’s this?” Joel asks. He’s reaching for the coffee table, for the envelope there with his name scrawled in pen. 

You realize he’s reaching for it too late. You’d meant to hide it away, give it to him sometime later, but — you forgot, in the Blue-fueled chaos. Left it sitting on the table, well within reach and well within view. 

“No, don’t—” you reach for him, reach for it, but — he’s already tearing it open. 

“It’s for later,” you say, lamely. “I was gonna…” 

You trail off. Your throat feels sandy, dry. You watch him open up the card. Two small squares of plastic fall face-down to his lap. 

He ignores them, for the time being. He’s too busy reading what you’ve written on the card. 

You already know what it says. You wrote it this morning, bent over your desk. 

Happy birthday. 

And then, in smaller letters below that — 

I love you.

He looks up. Swallows, thickly. And you blush — not because of the look on his face, right now — but because of what’s sitting in his lap. Those polaroids. The ones he took at the cabin, of you, straddling his chest with your hand stuffed down your panties. 

He sees your gaze drop and his follows. He picks up the pictures, turns them over — 

And goes beet fucking red. He coughs like he’s just swallowed glass. 

“What?” Sarah asks. She’s on her feet, trying to peer over his shoulder. He stuffs the card — and the polaroid — to his chest. Tommy’s brows flick. Even your dad looks semi-curious. 

But Sarah — always Sarah — is more perceptive than the two of them combined. She’s got a pretty good idea of exactly what’s gone down, even without a front-row seat to his card. There’s a devilish grin on her face when she turns to look at you. 

Gross, she mouths. 

Shut up, you mouth back. 

Joel flips the card shut. Puts it facedown on the coffee table. He slides the polaroids into his pocket. 

Then he stands, abruptly. Brushes his hands off on his jeans.

“Would you, uh — excuse me?” he asks. 

Tommy shrugs. You turn to watch him go, from your seat on the floor, and when he stops by your shoulder your chest lights up. Your pulse thunders in your ears. 

He lingers there, just a second. His finger brushes your skin. 

And then he stalks off, toward the bathroom. You wait a beat and then get up, too. 

“I need to — check on something,” you announce. 

Tommy shrugs again. He’s already unscrewing Joel’s bottle of whiskey.

Sarah stifles a smile. She turns the TV back on and chucks your dad a controller. Blue barks, once, when the Mario Kart music sparks up. The tag on his collar clinks happily. 

“Have fun,” she shouts. 

You ignore her. But you’re grinning a little, on your way down the hall. 

You wait til the noise in the living room kicks up to knock on the bathroom door. Just once. A short, shallow rap. 

It swings open immediately. His hand snakes out and grabs ahold of your wrist. 

“What—“

You yelp. Laugh, softly, when he drags you in and slams the door. You suck in a breath and watch him with wide eyes. 

He pulls the pictures from his pocket. 

“How come y’never showed me these?” he breathes. 

“I don’t know,” you say. “Thought they’d make a good present.”

“I told you,” you murmur, when he surges closer, “you’re hard to shop for.”

He lays the pictures down on the edge of the sink. Takes your chin between his fingers and kisses you. 

It’s not like the kiss when you met him at the door. It’s needy, hot. Snapping teeth and shallow breaths. You moan into his mouth and he lifts you. 

Just like that. Like you weigh — nothing. His fingers crumple the sides of your dress. 

He sets you down on the edge of the counter. Your legs hang, heels clicking on the cabinet. 

You reach for his belt. Black leather, today. A step up from the grease-stained toolbelt you’re used to. 

And he lets you, until you start to work yourself off the counter. He knows what you’re trying to do. Get down on your knees, on the tile, and pull his jeans down past his hips. 

Like you did that one night, months ago, on the Fourth of July. 

But he stops you, now. That’s not what he wants. 

He strokes a hand up your knee, to the seam of your thigh. His knuckle brushes black lace and you gasp.

“Wait,” you pant. “I was gonna—”

“I know,” he murmurs. Your dress drips around his fingers. He ghosts his thumb over damp fabric and you rut into his touch. “Rather do this.”

Your resolve is slipping. His hand is moving higher, hooking under lace, and whatever he’s doing is suddenly sounding a hell of a lot better than you, on your knees, on a cold tile floor. This is — warm. His hands, his touch, his breath on your jaw. 

“But it’s your — birthday,” you protest, weakly. 

He moves your panties to the side. Bends, slowly, and hooks your heels over both his shoulders. 

“Exactly,” he mumbles, and dips his head to taste you. 

Fifteen minutes later, Joel steps out of the bathroom. Lips swollen, hair rumpled, silk shirt creased in the perfectly imperfect shape of your fist. 

You follow him out two minutes after that. Might as well try and maintain some illusion that you haven’t been together. 

He takes the polaroids on his way out. You watch him open up his wallet and slide them both into the back, somewhere just for him. Private, yeah, but not quite hidden. 

He’s already rejoined the party, by the time you find the living room. You’re a little dazed. It takes you twice as long as it should to roam back down the hallway, and when you do reappear — dress wrinkled, makeup just — slightly smudged — Blue bounds to greet you. His big, floppy paws thwumpthwumpthwump on the hardwood. 

You scratch at his ears. Let him lick at your leg. Sarah follows you in when you wander into the kitchen and dig a beer out of the melted ice. 

“Boo.”

You start. Turn. She’s grinning at you. 

“Jesus,” you mutter. “You scared me.”

“You’ve been gone a hot minute,” she says. 

She clocks your messed-up clothes. The brand-new tangle in your hair. 

“Ewww,” she whines. She makes an exaggerated ugh face. 

Your cheeks flush. You grab a dishrag off the counter and bat playfully at her. 

“You’re gonna give him a heart attack,” she says, dodging your blows. “Seriously. Remember that guy from Downton Abbey? Just, like, keeled over in bed? You have to chill. He’s like a hundred years old. That could happen to him. Any day.”

You stare at her, slack-jawed. The towel hangs at your side. A violent, smothered laugh bubbles up in your throat. 

The door swings. Joel thuds into the kitchen. He sees you and Sarah by the drinks — the stifled laughs, the conspiratorial smiles — and his brows knit. 

“Ladies,” he drawls. 

Sarah dissolves into a fit of giggles. She pats his arm on the way out of the kitchen, still laughing, and he watches her go with a bemused look.

“Do I wanna know?” he asks, when the door swings shut. 

“Something about Downton Abbey.”

He groans. 

“In that case,” he nods, “y’can spare me.” 

He looks adorably flustered right now, you think. Someone’s wrestled a party hat onto his head — probably Tommy — and it’s cocked haphazard on a clump of curls. He looks a little drunk, on the party and the drinks and on you. There’s black, white, brown dog hair scattered all across his button-down. 

You tip to reach him. Drag him down for a kiss. 

“Happy birthday,” you mumble. 

“Yeah,” he says, gently. “It is.” 

He pulls back. Looks at you. 

“Cause ‘a you.”  

He kisses you again. 

And this time, now, when your hands come up to tangle in his hair — you try not to let go. 

THE END ... for now

---

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

And Joel is right… a cigarette is wonderful after sex 🫠

Wonderful as always Bug 😘😘😘

Bad Habit

“Don’t you ever start smokin’. If I catch ya with one of these in that mouth of yours, I’ll make you regret it,” he said, exhaling smoke. “I will make you fuckin’ regret it.”

After Joel catches you smoking, he gives you something else to put between your lips. (7.2k)

Tags - dbf!joel, neighbor!joel, pervy/sleazy yet comforting Joel, cock from a man who could be your second father, smut, smoking, dubcon elements, blowjobs, masturbation, joel jorks it, oral sex, unprotected piv, creampie, joel makes you smoke until you’re sick to your stomach, vomiting, gratuitous use of the nickname ‘kiddo’ because I am who I am, dubcon, the other stuff Fic help - thank you my dearest @noxturnalpascal for editing <3 and for my other main squeezes for brainstorming with me!! @endlessthxxghts @beefrobeefcal A/N - heddo!I sorry for the delay on getting this out. fic posting will continue to be sporadic and weird for a while so thank you for being patient <3 i hope you all have a safe week and I love you very much 🫂💕 definitely didn’t skip class to finish this and watch gilmore girls btw so if you hear that rumor about me it is bullshit it is not true at all

The cool, late-summer air blows gently on your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake as you sit next to your open window, headphones on, Fiona Apple’s When The Pawn… playing in your ears. You take a long drag of your cigarette and let it fill and burn your lungs, then blow the smoke outside. The sun is setting, the dim light making everything in your room look like a black and white movie, even your own hand in front of you. You love nights like these. 

Eyes gently shut, you’re lost in thought when a tapping on the glass startles you. You gasp when you see Joel, his big hand clutching a large garbage bag. He must have seen you on his way taking the trash out. 

Joel’s your neighbor, he’s been your neighbor all your life. He’s your dad’s closest friend as well, and had a heavy hand in raising you. You used to eat at his house for dinner on Sunday nights, a tradition that’s lasted to present day. As a teenager, you’d spend days and nights at his house when you and your dad weren’t getting along, needing some space from each other. Joel was always a safe person for you to go to. His guest room practically became your second bedroom by the time you graduated. Joel taught you card games, and would make you root beer floats while you played round after round of Rummy. 

Joel was actually the first person to introduce you to smoking. Unintentionally, of course. You can remember him always smelling warmly of tobacco, smelling it on his hair, skin, and clothes when you’d hug him. When you were younger, he told you once, cigarette in his mouth, “Don’t you ever start smokin’. If I catch ya with one of these in that mouth of yours, I’ll make you regret it,” he said, exhaling smoke, “I will make you fuckin’ regret it.”

“Hey, trouble,” Joel drawls. “You ain’t ‘sposed to be smokin’ that.” 

Joel reaches for your cigarettes and pulls it from your mouth, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. He examines it, chuckling quietly at the feeling of the stickiness of your lipgloss on the rolling paper. He brings it to his mouth, then takes a couple puffs before stubbing the cigarette out on the sole of his shoe, then disposes it in his garbage bag. Your dad doesn’t need to see your old cigarette stubs when he’s mowing the lawn. “Don’t let me catch ya again,” he warns, then presses a warm kiss to your forehead, mustache tickling your skin. “Get some sleep. G’night, kiddo.”

This isn’t the first time Joel’s caught you smoking. The first time he did, you were probably around eighteen years old. You remember that it was around Thanksgiving, the leaves were still falling off the trees and the air was chilly. It was an evening when Joel and your dad were hanging out in the kitchen, watching a Bears and Cowboys game on TV. Rooting for the opposite teams, your dad and Joel were barking at each other, getting loud and rowdy. There was no escape from the noise, so you snuck out of your bedroom window and just started walking. Joel left his garage door open, so you decided to hang out there. You admired the posters on the wall, Nirvana and The Rolling Stones. Different liquor brand artwork, picked up from when he used to work as a bartender. The garage never changed, always had that faint smell of cigarettes permeating the air. 

Cigarettes. They were on the workbench in the back of the garage, a pack of Marlboro reds just sitting there, waiting to be smoked. To the left of the pack, a little white Bic lighter. You weren’t sure what came over you at that moment but you palmed both items, then peeked over your shoulder to make sure you really were as alone as you thought you were. You held your breath and focused hard, and found that you were able to hear the faint sounds of Joel and your dad yelling. You were in the clear. 

You opened the worn pack of Marlboros and pulled out one of the cigarettes, the first time you ever held one in your hand. You rolled it between your fingers, inspecting it, before you brought it to your nose to smell the tobacco. With trembling hands you placed the cigarette between your lips, and as you fumbled with the little white lighter, Joel’s warning played over and over again in your mind. If I catch ya with one of these in that mouth of yours, I’ll make you regret it.

But Joel wasn’t there. And what Joel didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. So you lit the cigarette and inhaled, then coughed a bit at the sensation. It was harsh, made your throat feel itchy and scratchy. You didn’t like the way the smoke burned your lungs and you couldn’t wrap your head around how Joel - anyone, for that matter - could become addicted to something as unpleasant as this. You took another puff for the sake of experimenting and you were met with the same experience. Unpleasant. But by the third or fourth drag, you felt the beginning of that headrush everyone talks about. A lightheaded, hazy sort of feeling. Now that…that wasn’t quite so unpleasant. You could see exactly how cigarettes could relieve stress. Taking another puff, you thought maybe you’d steal one or two more from the pack, save them for the end of the week. Smoke them when you’re home from school, before your dad or Joel could see you. And then you’ll shower real quick, wash your hair and brush your teeth and toss your clothes in the washer and -

“The hell do you think you’re doin’?” 

Shit. 

You pulled the cigarette out of your mouth and stubbed it out in a nearby ashtray on Joel’s workbench. “N-nothing.” 

“Bullshit, you’re smokin’,” Joel bit, approaching you through the open garage door. “So help me Ggod, kid...” He snatched his pack of cigarettes from you, along with his lighter. “Stealin’, too. These are my smokes. What the fuck’s the matter with you?” 

“Joel, I’m sorry. I-” 

“You ain’t sorry, yet. Get in the truck.” 

“Joel-”

“Get. In. The fucking. Truck.” he seethed. He wore such a threatening scowl, and his face and neck were red, veins bulging in his skin as his anger grew. 

You scurried into his truck that sat on the driveway and Joel followed suit, slamming the door shut before turning the key into the ignition. Even the truck sounded angry as it roared to life. Joel shifted into reverse and drove you down the street, to the nearest gas station. “Stay there,” he ordered. 

You awaited his return anxiously, picking at your nails. Joel returned with a new pack of Marlboro reds and drove back to his home. “Garage,” he said. 

“But my dad-”

“Garage.” 

 If I catch ya with one of these in that mouth of yours, I’ll make you regret it.

Joel made good on his promise. He sat you down in front of the workbench, right where you were before. He lowered the garage door until it rested just about a foot off the ground so that the smoke had somewhere to go. Then he sat in front of you, hit the pack of cigarettes on his palm five times before unwrapping the cellophane and opening the pack. Joel took one cigarette out and flipped it upside down in the pack. 

“What are you doing?”

“Christ almighty,” he sighs. “You’re so fuckin’ young. You pack the cigarettes first, so they burn smoother an’ longer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. And then you flip your lucky - just the one cigarette.” Joel pulled the upside down cigarette from the pack to demonstrate. “Old World War II tradition, if I’m not mistaken. ‘Sposed to be a good luck charm.” 

Joel pulled one cigarette from the pack for you, placed it between your lips and lit it. He could see the confused expression on your face as you inhale and exhale. 

“Just you wait,” he said. “I promise you, this is a punishment.” 

“How?”

“You’re gonna sit here with me and smoke every last cigarette in that pack. I don’t care f’your lungs start to burn and you feel sick to your stomach, you’re smokin’ ‘em all,” he said. “Now get to it.” 

Joel watched you as you smoked cigarette after cigarette. He was right, your lungs did start to ache and hurt and your stomach had begun to feel queasy from all the nicotine. After about the sixth or seventh, you had figured out that you could make things a little easier on yourself by not breathing in the smoke all the way, just let it hang out in your mouth instead. 

“I started smokin’ when I was around your age,” Joel said as he lit another cigarette for you. “Couldn’t ‘a been older than seventeen.”

You nodded. 

“Why’d you pick this habit up, huh? You know these things aren’t any good for ya.” 

“I don’t know,” you sighed, ashing onto the garage floor. “I just…I don’t know. Stressed out.”

“‘Bout what?”

You shrugged. “Just everything, I guess.” 

Joel nodded. “I get it,” he said. “But there’s other ways of relievin’ stress that ain’t smokin’.” 

“Like what?”

“Well,” Joel began, looking down at his lap. “The cigarettes are causin’ that brain of yours to release those feel-good chemicals. You gotta find something else that feels good, hon. M’sure you’ll figure out what that means.” 

 You felt your cheeks heat up at the implication of how to get your endorphins flowing, but you knew he wasn’t wrong. You nodded shyly. 

“Now keep smokin’.” 

“Joel,” you whined, coughing dryly. 

“Keep it up,” he threatened, “I’ll make it two packs.” 

What felt like hours passed until you finally made it to the last two cigarettes in the pack, and you felt ill. “C’mon,” Joel said. “Last two. I’m smokin’ the last one with ya, and then we’re done, both of us,” he promised. He lit his cigarette first, then yours, and then took a drag. You did too, though it was agony. 

“I don’t feel so good, Joel,” you told him, clutching your stomach and squirming in your seat as the nauseating feeling in your stomach worsened. 

“Good,” Joel retorted. “Means the punishment’s workin’. You ain’t ‘sposed to feel good.” You looked at Joel with glassy eyes, your skin a little damp with sweat. “You okay, sweetheart?”

You shook your head. Your stomach churned harder, you felt your mouth salivate as your heart began to beat faster. There was no more staving off the feeling - you dropped your cigarette and sprinted inside, making a beeline for Joel’s bathroom. Joel followed close behind and rubbed your back as you emptied your guts into his toilet until you were dry-heaving. “Oh, I know, I know,” he whispered, patting you gently. “You’re gonna be okay.” 

“Fuck,” you groaned, lifting your head up and leaning back to rest against Joel. He flushed the toilet for you, then helped you up so you could rinse your mouth out in the sink. 

“It don’t feel too good, huh?” he murmured, stroking the side of your face. “You’re gonna be a good girl for me? Gonna quit smokin’?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, I’m done.”

“Attagirl,” Joel smiled. 

Joel offered you some Pepto-Bismol and guided you to his couch, where he held you and talked. After about forty-five minutes, he sent you home. Your dad was none the wiser, probably passed out on his own couch after the game. Joel kept your secret under the condition that you’d quit smoking for good, and he quit too. In all honesty, he was shaken that it was his cigarettes you’d stolen, and disturbed by the fact he was the one to introduce you to tobacco - your dad didn’t smoke, never has. He had unknowingly introduced you to it, of course, but Joel still held himself responsible. Joel meant it, smoking that last cigarette with you. He decided that night he was quitting cold turkey. He was done.

-

You should have been done too. You shouldn’t still be doing this. And that pack of Marlboros in your purse shouldn’t be there, you should have thrown it out the other night when Joel caught you smoking out of your window. But you’re in Joel’s backyard, cigarette between your fingers as you listen to the sounds of the family barbecue taking place in your own backyard. 

It was just too much. Your family increases in size every year, be it a new partner, new family friends, new children. And your family is loud. Every conversation happens using raised voices, even if no one is speaking in anger. Boisterous laughter, dogs barking, shrill squeals of excited kids running through sprinklers. There’s no escape from it at all, unless you’re to escape it entirely - so that’s exactly what you did, and why you’re at Joel’s house instead of your own. You needed a momentary reprieve. Separated by nothing more than a thin fence and yet it makes all the difference. Joel’s backyard is quiet, serene. He keeps his fence lined with flowers that he had you pick out at the nursery, he has a nice deck with a comfortable patio furniture set. You rock back and forth in one of the chairs as you smoke, promising yourself after this cigarette - or maybe just one more - you’ll go back to the party. 

The glass patio door slides open, causing you to jump and scramble to put your cigarette out, but you’re too late. Joel’s always a step ahead, somehow. “What are you doin’, kiddo?” he asks in a low, accusatory tone. 

“Nothing,” you lie. 

“You’re smokin’.”

You hang your head. Joel sits in the chair next to you and holds out his hand, palm facing up. You sigh and place your pack in his hand. “I’m sorry.” 

“Uh-huh,” Joel says. “Why’re you still doin’ this? You’re poisoning yourself, sweetheart. It’s breakin’ my heart.” 

You shrug. “I don’t know,” you admit. You open your mouth to speak again, then exhale when you give up. 

“I want you to try,” he urges. “Jus’ talk to me, hon, you’re not in trouble right now. Tell me what’s goin’ on.” 

“Okay,” you nod. You take a deep breath, then begin to explain. “I want to quit, Joel. I do. I tried gum and patches…”

“Go on. I’m listenin’.” 

“They worked for a while, I guess. I was even able to stop entirely, get past the nicotine withdrawals. They weren’t even so bad.” 

“Right,” Joel nods, “But what?”

“It’s stupid.” 

“S’not stupid. Keep tellin’ me.” 

“I missed the ritual of it all, if that makes sense,” you confess. “ Lighting it, holding it. Watching the smoke. Feeling it in my mouth.” You find the courage to look at Joel, and he’s not making fun of you for your admission. He’s nodding along, listening intently. “It’s sort of soothing.” 

“I get it,” he says. “I do.”

“You do?”

“Mhm. S’called an oral fixation, sweetheart. Means it calms ya down to have somethin’ in that mouth of yours. You heard of it?” You shake your head no, and Joel explains further. “Same reason some people bite their nails or chew on straws. Jus’ somethin’ people do.” 

“Oh.” 

“Mhm. You should try keepin’ your mouth busy with somethin’ else.” 

Your mouth goes dry, and you feel yourself becoming flustered. “Joel…” you whisper. 

“Quite the imagination you got there, huh?” he smirks, nudging your knee with his own. “M’not talkin’ about that, dirty bird. Do you have a sweet tooth at all?”

“Um,” you hum, “I guess.” 

“I got a sweet tooth myself,” Joel replies. “C’mon inside.” 

Joel leads you inside, and he doesn’t bother to sneakily throw your cigarettes in the trash. He makes sure you can see it, hear the thud of the pack hitting the bottom of the can. You stand in his kitchen as he opens his freezer and rifles through some items. “Pick a flavor,” he says, “I got green apple, grape, cherry, and lemon.” 

“Cherry,” you answer. 

Joel pulls out a cherry-flavored popsicle and unwraps it for you. “Open,” he says, then places the cold, sweet and tart ice on your tongue. Your hand brushes his when you grab the wooden stick, watching him. You can see the way his pupils dilate when you suck on it, how his chest rises when he sucks in a deep breath. Joel feels his cock begin to thicken in his jeans and abruptly clears his throat. “So, uh, anyway,” he stutters, “It helps to suck on somethin’ sweet. I’ll keep my freezer stocked with these for ya, you just let me know if you have any flavor requests. You help yourself anytime you’re havin’ one of your cravings.”

You pull the popsicle from your mouth, your lips stained red. “Thanks, Joel,” you smile. 

“You’d best get back to that party, hon. I’ll catch up with ya in a minute, nature’s callin’,” he teases, quickly excusing himself into his nearby bathroom. He hears you giggle and whine, “Gross,” as you leave his house. Joel watches you through the frosted bathroom window as you sneak back into the party. He’s palming his growing bulge, pressing his hand firmly against it until he can’t see you anymore, then quickly unzips his jeans and pulls out his cock, leaking and hard. He spits into his hand and strokes himself, his rough palm sliding up and down his thick, veiny cock, squeezing hard. He pumps himself and groans when he comes, spilling into his palm and on his fingers. Joel washes his hands, tucks himself back into his jeans and makes his way back to the barbecue. 

-

You’re in Joel’s truck. It was a long day of work, the phone was ringing nonstop and you could hardly catch a break, though Joel gave you extra time on your lunch to make up for the crappy day. He has you helping him out with his contracting job, having you answer phones and schedule estimates and whatnot. He likes having you around, giving you a little money to burn as you expand your resume. 

At six, Joel tossed you his truck keys and told you he’d be right out there, but that he’s gotta finish up with a client real quick first. “Go ‘head and start up the truck for me, hon, I’ll be out there soon. Shouldn’t be more than ten minutes,” he promised. But that was an hour ago, and it’s beginning to get dark. You’re itching to leave. On days you work with Joel, he’s your ride. Oftentimes it’s a blessing as he’s the one paying for gas and driving through traffic, but other times, it’s a curse. You’re on Joel’s time, itching to leave and he’s…doing whatever he’s doing.

You’re getting that feeling again. You’re not sure why, but it’s been happening more and more lately. You’ve been absolutely craving a cigarette recently. Just one, maybe two. You shouldn’t have done it, but you bought a pack at the gas station. Promised yourself you’d save it for special occasions but after this pack, you’d be done. For good. 

You’re just dying for one right now. Turning the pack over in your hand, you watch, anticipating seeing Joel leaving the building. But it never happens. Fuck it. You take a cigarette out of your pack and place it between your lips, and just before you light it, you stop. You look around in his truck, see if he’s got a straw from a fast food restaurant in his glove box that you could chew on, maybe a toothpick. At least you tried. It certainly doesn’t help that it smells like cigarette smoke in here anyway, what with Tommy always smoking when he drives with Joel. You resign yourself to lighting the cigarette, inhaling that smoke you missed so much. That familiar burn doesn’t quite hurt the same way it used to and in fact, it’s a welcome pain now. You love that tingly, heady feeling of the nicotine entering your bloodstream. You exhale the smoke out of the window of the truck and close your eyes. 

You think about lots of things, what you’re gonna eat for dinner when you get home, what movie you’re gonna watch. What flavor popsicle you’ll steal from Joel’s freezer. You think about which vibrator you’re gonna use between your thighs, which ones are charged and which aren’t. 

You’re not being subtle. Shamelessly blowing smoke out of the window, Joel can see you. And in fact, he’s been watching you. He’s fuming as he walks toward his truck and opens his door, startling you and causing you to drop the lit cigarette on your lap. “You are un-fuckin’-believable,” he seethes as he leans over you to pick it up off of your thighs and tosses it out of the window. “In my truck? Are you fuckin’ serious?”

“Joel, I’m sorry–”

“Shut up,” he interrupts. “You pissed me off. I don’t wanna hear it.” 

You shrink into your seat and stare at your lap, anxiously circling your thumbs around each other as Joel breathes deeply. He leans back in the driver’s seat and pinches the bridge of his nose, groaning angrily. 

“Joel–”

“Don’t.”

In Joel’s head, he counts backwards from ten, attempting to let go of some of his rage. He looks at you, your eyes are big and pleading, those plump lips of yours are pouting, just begging, aching for something to fit snugly between them. “What am I gonna do with you, kiddo,” he whispers, reaching for your face and cupping your cheek. Fuck, that goddamn soft spot he has for you. “All sorts ‘a trouble you could go an’ get yourself into and you pick the one that’s makin’ you sick.” 

You nod, feeling guilty for putting Joel through this stress. You know he’s right. You’re gonna drive him to pick up the addiction again himself.

He rubs his calloused thumb back and forth over your cheekbone, looking at you with those big, brown eyes of his. They’re sparkling under the diminishing daylight, looking darker than they usually do. He’s so handsome. He’s always been so handsome. 

“Maybe you need to get into a different kinda trouble,” Joel murmurs. 

You pause. “Like what?”

“You know what kinda trouble,” he answers softly, assertively. You look down at his lap and notice that with his free hand, he’s begun palming his crotch, cock hardening in his jeans. “Somethin’ else to satisfy that fuckin’ fixation of yours.”

Joel unzips his jeans and pulls his cock out, half hard and growing. “Gimme your hand,” he instructs. He doesn’t wait for you to comply, and takes the pack of Marlboros you had forgotten you were holding out of your hand. He takes your hand and first spits in it, then wraps it around his cock, his fingers wrapped around your wrist as he helps you stroke him. His cock grows to full length in your hand, so thick and hard and meaty. “On your knees, now,” he says. “C’mon. You know what you’re doin’.” 

You sink to your knees and Joel slides to the center of the seat so you’re as close to him as can be. He spreads his legs apart and you slot yourself snugly between them, a hand on each one of his thick thighs. It feels surreal, being in this position. Joel senses your nervousness, and you look so vulnerable on your knees for him. Poor thing. 

He leans forward a little to tangle his fingers in your hair and then pulls you down, ushering you toward his hard cock. “Open up f’me,” he says. You part your lips and he presses the warm, blunt head against them. You open your jaw wider and he pushes you down on his cock, filling your mouth entirely. “Nice an’ wide. That’s it.” 

Joel keeps pushing you down, past the point of comfortability and you choke and sputter on his cock when he hits the back of your throat. “Just relax a minute,” Joel says. “An’ breathe through your nose, kiddo. You’ll get used to it.” 

With his hand tangled in your hair, it’s less of you moving of your own volition and more of Joel guiding you, making you take him down your throat the way he wants you to. You like that. As your head dips lower and bobs back up again, you swirl and drag your tongue along his shaft, tasting that heady, musky flavor of his cock, the salty precum when your tongue slides over his small slit.“Yeah, you know what to do,” Joel groans. “Ohh, that’s it. Good girl.” 

You feel his cock pulsing under your tongue, a welcome experience. There’s something so intimate and satisfying about learning all of the exact, fine details of what Joel’s pleasure looks and tastes like. He rolls his hips to meet you where you’re at, taking control of his pleasure, doing all the work himself. Sweat is beginning to gather on his body, dripping down his temples and gathering on his soft tummy. He can’t help but feel a little like he’s taking advantage of you right now, but he doesn’t feel bad enough to stop. In fact, it turns him on more. Joel thinks that maybe it even turns you on, too, what with the way you let out quiet, sweet little moans. “You like it, don’t you, baby?” 

“Mm-hmm,” you hum. 

“I know you do,” Joel coos. “Feels good, don’t it?”

You nod your head, moaning as you slide your tongue along his length, swirling it around his head before dipping lower again, your nose buried in those thick curls spattered around the base of his cock, dampened by your saliva. “What a mess you’re makin’,” Joel murmurs, enjoying those wet, sloppy noises you’re making. “Such a good girl f’me, you’re takin’ it so good.” 

You reach for his balls, cupping them and rolling them gently in your palm, eliciting a sharp gasp from Joel. “Oh, fuck,” he groans, “That’s it, kiddo, keep doin’ it jus’ like that. Goddamn.” 

Joel basks in the feeling of being inside your hot, wet mouth, feeling you suck and slobber on him, the dizzying feeling of your tongue teasing his shaft and his head. It’s all so soft, so slick and warm. He can feel it in his stomach, his balls begin to tighten as he approaches release. Joel takes your head in both of his big, masculine hands and fucks your mouth hard. “Oh, Christ,” he hisses. “Fuck, ohhh, fuck.” 

With just a few more deep, frenetic thrusts, Joel comes in your mouth without a warning, just a guttural, deep groan. He paints your tongue with his hot, salty spend, ropes and ropes of it spurting from his thick, twitching cock. He fucks your mouth through his orgasm, his thrusts turning slower, more shallow in time as you take every last bit of his come, swallowing it all. 

“Up,” he tells you, his voice raspy. “C’mere.” 

You sit next to Joel as he comes down from his high, his deep breathing beginning to regulate. Joel looks at you, wipes a bit of his come from your bottom lip with his thumb and pushes it inside your mouth, where you suck the digit and lick the spend. “S’all you needed, huh? My cock in your mouth?” Your face is hot and a little damp with sweat, your lips all swollen as you nod, a little sheepish. “No need to be bashful, sweetheart. S’okay. F’it works, it works.” 

Joel adjusts his jeans and turns up the air conditioner, then scoots back over into the driver’s seat. He pulls you close to his body, tucking you into his side as he shifts the truck into reverse, then drives out of the parking lot. “When that fixation of yours starts actin’ up again or you’re gettin’ nicotine cravings, you to come to me. Will you do that for me, sweetheart?”

You nod. “I will.” 

“Good girl,” he says. “I’ll get ya taken care of.” 

-

Your craving for a cigarette hits as early as the following night. To test you, Joel had surreptitiously dropped your last pack of cigarettes in your purse last night in his truck. You only noticed a little bit ago, when you were digging through your belongings to find your lip gloss. You could smoke them if you wanted to. You do want to. You could be sneakier about it, go for a walk and smoke somewhere Joel won’t see you. 

You slip on a pair of sneakers and throw a light sweatshirt over your shoulders, then walk out of your room and past your father in the living room. “Where you off to, sweetie?” he asks. 

“Just for a walk,” you answer quickly. To be honest, you weren’t expecting him to be awake. It’s late and the TV’s on, which usually means he’s sleeping. He can’t stay awake through any movie or TV show. 

“Mm,” he hums. “Be safe, honey. Come back soon, I don’t like you out too late all by yourself.” 

You promise your dad you’ll be back soon, then leave out of your front door and make a left. As you walk past your yard, then Joel’s, you realize he’s in his garage, tinkering with something at his workbench. He doesn’t see you, and you could walk on by without him noticing, smoke your secret cigarette and he’d be none the wiser. 

But you’d feel guilty. You feel guilty for even thinking about it. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, contemplating. Maybe Joel’s right, that you need to get yourself into a different kind of trouble. You used to feel thrilled when you’d drink underage or smoke when you shouldn’t have been. But Joel’s cock down your throat, on your knees for your dad’s best friend, a man who’s like a second father to you…Well, nothing compared to that thrill. 

You walk up Joel’s driveway and quietly into his garage, he’s got an old CD player on and he’s listening to Nirvana. “Joel?”

Joel turns to look over his shoulder and smiles at you. “Hey, you.” 

“I…” you struggle to get the words out. Joel nods in understanding, he knows exactly why you’re here. You’re such a good girl for him. Always been a good girl.

Joel pauses his CD player and takes your hand, then leads you inside his house. When you’ve finished sucking his cock, he tells you he’s glad you came to him and that he’s very proud of you. On your way home, you throw that pack of Marlboros away. And for once, you really are done. 

You suck his cock the next week at work, when you’re watching Tommy take a smoke break through the window next to your desk. You’re on the phone with one of Joel’s clients who’s been giving both you and him trouble all week, and you’re reaching the end of your rope with this guy. He’s old, impatient, and speaks so rudely to you. After you’ve argued with him in circles for about twenty minutes, he interrupts you and demands that you put him on the phone with a man. You’re livid. “Absolutely, sir. Let me place you on a brief hold and I’ll transfer you to my boss,” you tell him as sweetly. You press a few buttons on the phone and slam it on your desk, then march into Joel’s office, slamming the door and then locking it. 

Joel’s eyes light up. He rolls back in his chair and reaches behind himself to twist the blinds shut, then unzips his pants as you drop to your knees .

The routine happens day to day, week to week. Joel notices that there are days when you suck his cock aggressively, like you’re angry or you’re restless and antsy. But after a few weeks, they don’t quite feel that way anymore. You focus on his pleasure, and not your need to curb an addiction. It felt satisfying to have Joel’s cock down your throat before, and that certainly helped to satisfy your particular fixation. You’re more satisfied now at the notion of bringing Joel to absolute ecstasy, memorizing the way his breathing changes when you trace your tongue along his shaft and around his head. You’ve begun kissing up and down his length, gently sucking his balls and kissing his thighs, his tummy. You used to grip his thighs tight, digging your fingers into his flesh, but you hold his hand, now. It’s passion, adoration, maybe even love. You deserve the same pleasure, Joel thinks. 

Your dad’s out of town for a few days, he’s staying overnight in some city a few hours away for some work conference. He had stocked the fridge with different snacks and had tasked Joel with making sure you have something hot and filling each night for dinner, so you’ve spent the past few evenings at Joel’s house. 

 You’re on Joel’s couch, watching old reruns of Will and Grace on TV as Joel does the dishes. When he’s done, he joins you on the couch. When the show pauses for a commercial break, Joel mutes the TV. “Wanna talk to you ‘bout somethin’,” he says. You turn your attention to him. Joel’s hand drops to your thigh, and he scratches your skin lazily. His touch sends a jolt of excitement to your core. “You’ve been real good f’me, you know that, don’t you?” 

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Been a long time since your last cigarette, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you reply, “Couple months, I think.” 

“S’what I thought,” he whispers. “An’ it’s why I wanna do somethin’ for ya.” 

“Do what?”

“Well,” Joel begins, inhaling deeply. His hand goes higher with every pass, fingers closer and closer to the apex of your thighs. You’re starting to feel hot. “I think it’s awful unfair ‘a me to be leavin’ you high and dry the way I’ve been. Not very gentlemanly, huh?” 

Joel’s fingers are wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts, gently skating along your thin cotton panties. “Joel,” you whine. 

“I’m gonna make it even,” he murmurs softly into your ear, his hot breath tickling your neck. Joel drags the tip of his sharp, aquiline nose over the curve of your ear, then gently bites your earlobe, causing you to squirm. He smirks at that. “Gonna taste you.” 

Joel hovers over you, laying your body across his soft couch. He kneels as he hooks his fingers around your shorts and panties and pulls them down and off your legs, tossing them on the floor. 

His warm, big hands slide up your legs until he reaches your knees, “Spread your legs for me, sweetheart,” he says, and you part your thighs for him. He spreads them wider, pushing your knees toward your chest. Your nerves are on fire as he slides your shirt up your chest, exposing your bare body to him. “C’mere,” he mumbles, dipping his head low to kiss all over your torso, up your belly until he reaches the soft flesh of your breasts, nipping at the skin there before he sucks a nipple into his mouth. 

“Joel,” you gasp, your hands reaching for his head, fingers tangling in his thick, graying curls. He smirks against you as he kisses his way across to your other breast, repeating the same actions and kissing, licking down your stomach until he’s hovering over your pussy. Under the soft, warm light in the room, he admires your body. Your chest is rising and falling with shaky, nervous breaths. Your legs spread wide gives Joel the perfect view of your pussy, curls framing the shape of your cunt. Skin darkened and glistening wet, pearly ribbons of arousal delicately decorating your slick folds. He can’t wait any longer, he needs to taste you now. 

Joel quickly pulls his shirt off and unbuckles his belt, then kicks his jeans off where they join the rest of the discarded clothes on the floor. He settles on his stomach and pulls your body close to his face, his hot breath fanning over your damp, aching pussy. To tease you, he kisses his way toward your center, inching closer and closer to where you need him most yet not giving all the way in. “Please, Joel,” you whine. 

“Ohh, I know,” he rasps. He kisses the other thigh, then uses his thumbs to spread your soft folds apart for easier access and licks one long, fat stripe up your pussy. “Oh my god, yes,” you gasp. Joel chuckles at your excitement. He traces up and down with his tongue, his nose buried in the hair that covers your mound. You rock your hips into his face and he holds you tight, limiting your movement so that he holds all control. He’s feeling generous, and you’re going to take all that he gives you. 

“Fuck, right there,” you whimper when he licks your clit in circles. His tongue dips lower, circling your tight, wet hole before dipping inside to taste your sweet arousal. Joel hums in pleasure, he loves everything about this - the way you writhe and moan, how your dripping pussy feels against his face. He dips his tongue and swirls it inside of you before replacing it with two of his calloused, weathered fingers, rhythmically curling them inside you so that he’s hitting your g-spot. 

You’re moaning, babbling his name along with some other dirty words as Joel licks you and pumps his fingers, soaking him so intensely he thinks he could drown. He’d be happy to. There’s nothing he loves more than eating you out right now, passionately lapping your cunt like you’re the first meal he’s had in days. Your moans are becoming quicker, more frantic as you reach for his free hand and suck and bite his fingertips - always needing something in your mouth. He knows you’re close. Joel focuses on bringing you to the edge and sending you over, unwaveringly fucking you with his fingers and his tongue as your thighs are trembling and twitching, then squeezing the sides of his head as you come hard for him. “Joel,” you cry loudly. 

“Yeah, s’it. Give it to me, kiddo. That’s it,” he praises, “Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl.” 

Joel works you through your orgasm until the feeling subsides, and then pulls away from you. As you steady your breathing, you close your legs gingerly, hips sore from the position Joel held you in. Joel holds your knee, preventing you from moving any further. “Where do you think you’re goin’?”

“You made it even,” you breathe, reaching for his hand and placing yours on top.

“Nuh-uh, sweetheart. We ain’t square yet,” Joel spreads your legs again, then reaches for his cock. It’s rock-hard, the tip is blushed and swollen as he pumps it with his fist. “You gotta come on my tongue a couple more times than that before we’re even. And-” he grunts, adjusting his position before lowering himself over your body. He wraps your legs around his waist and notches his tip inside of you, “M’only a man. I’m gettin’ mine tonight too.” 

With that, he begins to push himself inside you. That slow, deep slide inside your cunt has him groaning in pleasure, Christ, you’re fucking tight. And so warm, soft, and wet. You squeal a bit as you adjust to the feeling of his cock inside of you, his cock splitting you open. “Shhh…” Joel quiets your moans. “Give it a minute, kiddo, you’ll get used to it.” 

You watch Joel as he slowly pulls out of you about halfway, then inches his way back inside you incrementally, little by little until your face relaxes and you let out that first sigh of pleasure. “Oh, there it is,” Joel coos. “Right there, huh?”

You nod, then wrap your arms around Joel's broad shoulders as he sets a steady pace. It’s slow, but not quite gentle at first, before it builds to something faster and harder. He rolls his hips at the perfect angle to have you squirming and writhing in pleasure, the head of his cock kissing that sweet spot inside of you over and over. You bury your face into him, biting softly where his neck and shoulders meet. His skin is so soft, slightly salty under your tongue. 

“Fuck, good girl,” he praises, kissing the side of your head where your hair is slightly damp with sweat. With each of his thrusts, you feel every inch of him. The scruff on his face brushing against you, his weight on your body, his skin on your skin, his pubic bone grinding against you. He fucks you passionately, sometimes quickening his thrusting, sometimes slowing it down, fucking you with longer, slower strokes. You bask in the sensation, entirely consumed in it all, in Joel. “You’re doin’ so good.” 

You rock your hips to match each one of his thrusts, needing more friction against your clit. “M-more, Joel,” you beg. “I wanna come. Please, Joel, make me come again.” 

Still fucking you, Joel spits onto his fingertips and wriggles his hand between your body. He searches for your swollen, sensitive bud and then paints steady circles into it, using the motion of his thrusting to help bring you to the edge once more. “Right there,” you tell him. “Don’t stop, please.” 

“I know, I gotcha,” he says. “Go ‘head and come for me, baby. Come all over my cock.”

You’re right there, right fucking there as he rounds your clit again and again with his fingers. Your reaction is more intense than before; your moans are louder now, pleading, more urgent. Your brows are knit together, mouth wide open when you go quiet - you’re gonna come, and it’s gonna be long and fiery and intense. 

Pure, unadulterated pleasure is all you feel when you finally reach your climax, moans and whimpers falling from your lips like honey until you’re crying Joel’s name, begging him as he fucks you through it. Begging for what, you don’t know. “Joel, Joel, Joel.” 

Your orgasm propels Joel’s own, and he’s growling into your ear as he spills into you, milking himself entirely. His come feels so warm inside you, so satisfying. “Oh, fuck me. Jesus, hon,” he groans. “Ohhh, god.” 

His thrusts slow, slow, then stop. He whimpers a little when he pulls out of you, then sits back on the couch. His head resting against the back of it, he turns to you. His eyes travel down your body, where some of his spend drips from your pussy. He pushes it back inside you, finger buried all the way to the knuckle, then pulls you into his side. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” he says, his voice low and gravelly. 

You look up at him, “Why?” 

Joel smirks. “ Could use a cigarette,” he answers. “Hits the spot right after sex.”

“Fuck off,” you giggle. “You said we’re done.” 

“We are done,” he affirms. “But our deal’s still in place. Which means…” Joel gently pushes you onto your stomach, then pulls you up by your hips. “We’re goin’ for another round.” 

If you enjoyed, please reblog/send an ask with some nice comments! Your words keep me motivated to write.

---

Ack! I loved this so much!!!

😍🫠😍🫠

Pretty Little Poison

Pairing: dbf!/cowboy Joel Miller X fem!Reader | W/C: ~7.2K | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Summary: None of this would have happened if you hadn’t walked into the Spur.  In that goddamn dress. In those goddamn boots. You’re all curvy hips with cherry red lips. None of it, but of course, you did. And damn if he isn’t grateful. No matter how bad his knuckles hurt, he’d do it again. Because you’re his. Your daddy might not know it yet, hell, the whole town might not know it yet, but you’re sure as fuck about to.

A/N: Welp. Like I said before, I've fallen into the hole that is Cowboys, and I fear I can't get out. Nor do I want to; the fictional cock is great down here. What is it about a cowboy that looks like he can sweep you off your feet in one second and fuck you until you forget your own name the next? Sigh. Anyway...enjoy this depravity. I know I sure did writing it.

Warnings: POV-Switching. Jealous Joel/Angry Joel. Fighting/blood. Flirting/Teasing. Light choking. Age gap but not mentioned (make it your own). Pet name (Princess). Flirting. Oral (m receiving)/face fucking. Fingering. Praise kink. Degradation if you squint. Creampie. Aftercare. Feelings. Alcohol. TLOU au. No use of Y/N. No use of daddy. Use of good girl. Reader has female sex anatomy and has slight implied feminine descriptors. Reader has long enough hair to grip, but no further details are mentioned. Let me know if I missed anything! Masterlist | Notifications | Read on AO3

JOEL 

None of this would have happened if you hadn’t walked into the Spur. 

In that goddamn dress. In those goddamn boots. You’re all curvy hips with cherry red lips.

None of it, but of course, you did. 

And damn if he isn’t grateful. No matter how bad his knuckles hurt, he’d do it again just to get you in the same position – on your knees, eyes glassy, pupils blown open wide with lust – jaw hinged open, just for him. 

Because you’re his. 

Your daddy might not know it yet, hell, the whole town might not know it yet, but you’re sure as fuck about to.

++++

The Spur is a nightmare tonight – packed to the brim.

Fridays were always wild, sure, but I’m used to watching it all unfold from the other side of the bar, whiskey in hand, not pouring it. Frank sure as hell didn’t mention that owning this place—my place now—would feel like wrangling a stampede every damn night.

And to top it off, the band’s late. No Johnny Cash soon, and I’ll have more than a crowd on edge—I’ll have a riot, or worse, an empty bar.

Thank God Tommy agreed to help out tonight, though I’m praying he spends more time serving than drinking. With him behind the bar, I can run tables, refill drinks, and handle the hundred different emergencies this place throws at me.

I tell myself to stay focused. Keep moving, keep pushing. 

Then I see it—a flash of red from a table up front.

I didn’t have to look long to know it was you. I’d recognize those red boots anywhere. Usually they’re the showstopper, but shit, not tonight. The dress you’re wearing looks like it was made for you, but the thing that’s really got my attention are those cherry fucking red lips of yours. 

God, I want to ruin them. 

With my mouth…or my cock. I wouldn’t be picky. I already had difficulty controlling my body’s reaction to you, but that was before I knew how sweet your kisses tasted, and now that I do, I’m in trouble. 

I want you so bad. 

Looking around, I take note that I might not be the only one. 

YOU 

You’ve always liked Joel a little jealous—it never took much to light that fire in him. 

Every Saturday before you left for college, when he came over for beers and pizza with your dad, you’d throw on your shortest skirt, linger at the door, fiddling with your purse just long enough to catch his eye. You loved the way his gaze would follow, the way his jaw would clench. 

And when the screen door slammed shut, you’d hear him mutter to your dad, voice low and firm, “You’re just gonna let her go out like that?”

You lived for it—the way your body would heat up, the pulse between your legs quickening as you imagined that vein in his neck bulging, that scowl on his face the next morning when he came over for coffee. 

Just stopping by, he’d say, but you really knew he wanted to see if you made it home for the night or ended up in someone else’s sheets. 

He’d try to hide it, his interest in you, but it didn’t work.To be fair, you did play a little unfair – the way you’d stretch just right as you reached for the cup on the top shelf, giving him a glimpse of the curve of your ass in your tightest black shorts. Or coming down the stairs in a silky white shirt that didn’t do much to hide your perky nipples. 

It was all just a game—innocent, fun. Girls just wanna have fun, right? And sure, Joel was devastating for a man his age—dark hair streaked with silver, skin kissed golden by the Texas sun, dusted with freckles that made your head spin. Broad shoulders that made you wonder if Doritos modeled their logo after him. 

But he was your dad’s best friend, a line you never cross, no matter how hard it was at times.

For years, it stayed that way—hot glances, stern looks, and a tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

But it was all harmless, just a game.

Until last week.

You’d come home from New York, fresh degree in hand, ready to take on Austin. Unlike your sister, you knew this was home—you always intended to come back. What you didn’t expect was to be picked up by Joel at the airport after your flight landed earlier than expected. “Joel’ll get you, Sweetie,” your dad had said, stuck in the town over on job, “you still have your key, right?”

Time had passed, but the second you saw him leaning against that old truck, flannel stretched tight over those broad forearms, you knew you were still in way too deep. Years hadn’t dulled it, hadn’t even come close. Does the man ever age? You hadn’t seen him in years, and yet, somehow, he managed to get hotter while you were away. 

It didn’t take more than five minutes for you both to fall into your old patterns. Except this time felt different – dangerous, even. Why? Because you’re starting to realize that the invisible line of this is your father's best friend, he’s off limits was starting to blur. 

“Hi, Princess,” he murmured, his lips brushing your cheek in a fleeting kiss. As he drew back, his gaze lingered on your lips, a moment too long, too intense. “It’s good to have you back.” Despite yourself, warmth flooded through you at the nickname—Princess—a private endearment born the day you landed Belle in your high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. He remained the sole person who could call you that without earning a scowl.

As the truck crunched over the gravel driveway, the sound pulled you right back—back to those wild days as a 21-year-old, stirring up trouble, doing whatever it took to torment your dad’s best friend, just for the sheer thrill of watching him squirm.

You caught up on the drive home, exchanging the polite, predictable questions you'd expect from your dad’s best friend. The small talk was easy, comfortable, but then, five minutes from the ranch, he hit you with a question that threw you off balance.

"So, you still seeing that Jack fella?" His grip on the steering wheel tightened just a little, his knuckles flexing as he asked.

“John,” you corrected.

“Right, him,” he said, brushing off the name like it didn’t matter. “He treating you right?”

He glanced over at you, his soft brown eyes unreadable, but there was something deeper behind them.

“Kinda hard to treat someone right when you’re not together anymore,” you replied, casting a look at him from under your lashes.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Don’t look too pleased about that, Joel, really," you teased, but the hint of a smile deepened on his face.

“'M not. Sorry to hear it didn’t work out,” he said, his voice gentle, but the action that followed spoke louder. His hand—large and heavy—settled on your thigh, giving it a firm squeeze. He didn’t pull away, even when it clicked that he probably should.

“I’m not,” you said, your eyes meeting his, loaded with a meaning that needed no explanation.

The ranch came into view, the gravel road winding to the house. Silence fell between you, but it wasn’t empty—it was thick with unspoken words. The truck rolled to a stop, and you reached for the door, but before you could touch the handle, Joel was already there, pulling it open like he couldn’t wait a second longer.

His hands found your waist as he helped you down from the bed of the truck, the roughness of his calloused fingers igniting a wildfire beneath your skin. Each touch was electric, a spark that lit you up from the inside out. You’d never been touched by him like this—aside from the occasional hug. But in just the last hour, he’d kissed your cheek, caressed your thigh, and now, his hands were on your waist. What was happening?

The walk to the front door felt like torture, each step dragging out the tension, with the weight of his gaze scorching you from behind. You could feel him watching you, undressing you with his eyes, and it took everything in you not to crumble under the heat. You fidgeted with the strap of your bag, trying to keep your cool. Soon, you'd be inside the safety of home, away from whatever sexy spell had overtaken Joel Miller.

With the keys in the lock, you paused, stealing a glance over your shoulder. He stood there, devastatingly handsome in the fading light, looking like he was ready to devour you. “Well, thanks for the ride, goodnight, Jo—”

Before you could finish, his hand hooked around your belt loop, tugging you back to him with a swift pull. His voice dropped, low and rough, “Fuck it.”

In one motion, he had you pressed against the sun-warmed wood of the front door, the heat still radiating off it from the day. His hand snaked up to your throat, gently but firmly pulling you closer, and then his mouth was on yours—hot, fierce, and full of hunger. There was no tenderness, no hesitation. He took what he wanted, what you’d been offering him for years in stolen glances and teasing touches.

It was messy, breathless, and everything you’d ever imagined. When Joel finally pulled back, his chest heaving, his eyes dropped to his boots, lingering for a beat before lifting to meet yours, like he was trying to figure out what came next. 

“Welcome home, Princess,” he muttered, voice thick and low, then stepped back, leaving you there, breathless, aching, and utterly confused.

Hours later, you found yourself in your childhood room, unpacking into the same old dresser drawers, the familiarity of it doing little to calm the storm in your head. The soft buzz of your phone pulled you from your thoughts, and when you glanced at the screen, his name lit up.

That probably shouldn’t happen again.

Right. A smirk tugged at your lips as you tapped out your response. 

We’ll see about that, Cowboy.

You hit send, tossed the phone onto the mattress, and headed to the bathroom for a shower. A long, cold one.

JOEL 

Get your shit together, Miller, I internally tell myself, hoping the blood in my cock would make its way back up to my brain. 

You're at the table with a group of girls, laughing, the kind of easy, carefree laugh that makes me pause. Some of the faces are familiar, girls from town, but others are strangers. As I scan the group, I instinctively search for Cleo—your best friend since sixth grade—but she's nowhere to be found. Odd, considering you two are usually joined at the hip.

That’s when I catch Tommy’s shit-eating grin from behind the bar. And sure enough, there’s Cleo, working her magic on my little brother, who's too pussy-drunk to realize he's being played. She’s got those signature fuck me eyes locked on him, and he’s falling for it—hook, line, and sinker. A bright pink sash that reads "Birthday Girl" is draped across her dress as she saunters back toward your table with four drinks in hand, none of which she paid for. You and the other girls are waiting, oblivious to the little scene playing out behind the bar.

You haven’t noticed me yet, and that’s perfect. This is going to be fun.

I walk behind the bar, throwing Tommy a you know I saw that look. He does his best to play it cool, busying himself by wiping down a bottle of Bulleit, avoiding the invisible ones I’m mentally shooting his way.

I can't remember the last time I made a birthday cake shot—hell, maybe I’ve never even made one before. But screw it, it seems like the kind of thing a group of girls celebrating would want. I mean, it's got birthday in the name, right? Besides, it’ll be the perfect excuse to get closer to you, see if you’re still playing this game or if it’s time for me to make the next move.

I load the shots onto a tray and head toward your table. This was it. I had a plan—a simple, respectable plan: deliver the shots, maybe say something polite, and leave you alone for the rest of the night. But a few steps away, you catch my eye and smile, and suddenly the plan unravels. My grip on the tray falters. Fuck.

"Ladies," I say, the word falling out of my mouth before I can stop it. Great, I think, I sound like an idiot. "Heard it was someone’s birthday," I add, meaning to look at Cleo, but my eyes stay locked on you, refusing to move.

And just like that, I’m caught.

“Yeah, that’s why you’re bringing us free drinks, Miller,” Cleo fires back, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I manage to tear my gaze from you, shooting her a quick look. "You know, darlin', I can take these right back," I say, trying to regain some control.

I set the tray down on the table, watching as you and your friends each grab a shot. You’re extra careful with yours, trying to avoid getting whipped cream on your fingers, but it’s no use. And I’m glued to the spot as you pop your finger into your mouth, licking it off slowly, never breaking eye contact. You knew exactly what you were doing, and it was working—too damn well.

My jeans tighten, and I curse under my breath. Does everything you do have to give me a hard-on?

Cleo’s laugh cuts through the tension. "Holy shit, Joel-y, did you actually make us birthday cake shots? I didn’t know you served anything other than beer and whiskey neat."

“Yeah, well... don’t get used to it,” I reply, biting back the urge to tell Cleo to knock it off with that damn nickname. The last thing I want is to come off like a jackass in front of you.

I stand there like an idiot, watching as you and the girls clink your glasses, hit them against the table, and knock back the shots. But it’s your throat I can’t tear my eyes from—watching you swallow was a big mistake. I shift my stance, making a quick adjustment before you notice how out of sorts I really am. 

The empty glasses land back on the tray, and I grab it like it’s a lifeline. “Happy Birthday, Cleo,” I say, my voice steady, but my eyes still locked on you. Then, with a wink in your direction, I turn and walk away, fighting the urge to look back.

++++

I keep an eye on you all night. Not in a creepy way—more of a just looking out for my buddy’s daughter kind of thing. Yeah, okay, that’s bullshit. I’m watching you because you’re stunning, and I’m not the only guy in here who’s noticed. Every time some fool looks your way, I feel my jaw tighten a little more.

After the birthday shot I brought over, I noticed you pacing yourself with the drinks, which I appreciated. That is, until I spotted those little red boots of yours strutting straight for the bar. No way in hell I’m letting Tommy take your order, so I practically body-checked him to get there first.

I lean across the bar, trying to keep it casual. “What can I get you, darlin’?”

You give me a look that damn near stops my heart. “Depends. What are you willing to give me?”

I smirk, fighting the urge to say something reckless. “Whatever you can handle.”

You lean in closer, just enough for me to feel the heat between us. “Alright then. Take a shot with me.”

The boldness of your challenge catches me off guard, and it takes everything in me to stay composed. Maybe it’s the red on your lips or the fire in your eyes, but you’ve got me hooked. I grab two shot glasses, sliding them in front of us.

“Pick your poison,” I say.

“Bourbon,” you answer with that sweet-as-sin smile. Then you add, “Please,” with those damn doe eyes, and I know I’m already in trouble.

I turn, grab a bottle of bourbon from the back, and pour us both a shot, sliding yours across the bar.

“What are we drinking to?” I ask, trying to play it cool.

You raise your glass, locking eyes with mine. “Temptation, cowboy.”

Fuck.

Our glasses clink, and we throw back the shots, not breaking eye contact for a second. The bourbon burns, but all I can feel is the fire in your gaze. You hold it a beat longer before your eyes shift to the fruit tray beside me. Without a word, you reach for a cherry, slipping it between your lips—and I swear it takes every bit of self-control not to lose it right there.

Then, as if you’re trying to kill me, you bring your hand up to wipe away a drop of juice trailing down your chin. It keeps going, down to your collarbone, and I’m helpless to do anything but stare.

You don’t even notice.

And it’s all I can do to stop myself from leaning over the bar and licking it off for you.

I am so fucked.

YOU

“How much do I owe you?” you ask, tilting your head with a playful edge in your voice.

“On the house,” he replies, that sly grin curving across his lips—those perfect fucking lips.

“Are you sure?” you press, skepticism raising your brows, knowing damn well you’re pushing him.

He leans over the bar, motioning you closer with two fingers. You can smell him now, that intoxicating mix of bourbon and peppermint. His voice drops to a husky whisper, low enough that only you can hear, “You can thank me later by letting me tear that pretty little dress off of you.”

And just like that, after over a decade of teasing glances, lingering touches, a stolen kiss, a bit of red lipstick, and some bourbon—Joel Miller breaks. Finally.

You almost laugh, wishing someone had told you it would’ve been this easy years ago, but you keep your cool. You’ve played the game this long; no reason to lose your edge now.

“Thought you said nothing could happen between us again?” you tease, your voice low, your lips curling into a smirk. Gotcha.

You lean in a little more, the air between you thick with tension. “Thanks for the shot, Joel-y,” you purr, letting the nickname roll off your tongue before tossing him a wink and sauntering off, your hips swaying just enough to let him know you’ve already sealed the deal.

You know he’s watching—his eyes glued to every movement you make, jaw clenched tight with frustration. He’s hot when he’s jealous, sure, but the way his jaw ticks when he’s mad? That’s got your thighs clenching and your cunt dripping. But you’ve got him exactly where you want him.

Checkmate.

JOEL

I watch as you make your way back to your table, laughing with your friends, when you bump into a guy I don’t recognize. His hand lands on your waist to steady you, and in my head, I give him two seconds to take his hands off you before I take them off for him.

Thankfully, he does. Good. It wouldn’t exactly look great for the bar owner to start picking fights in his own place, but when it comes to you, my good sense has been thrown right out the door.

I roll my shoulders back, trying to keep the jealousy simmering just under the surface, but the way that prick smiled at you has me seeing red—not the good kind of red, like those lips or boots of yours. You were polite about it, quickly apologizing and moving on without much interaction, but the way his eyes followed you pisses me off. The bar’s getting busy now, and I’ve got a hundred things to keep track of, but keeping an eye on that asshole just got bumped to the top of the list.

I glance at my watch—nearly midnight. The crowd’s drunk, rowdy, and hyped up like you’d expect on a Saturday night in a small-town country bar. Cleo knows how to draw a crowd, alright. The band’s finally playing, and it’s halfway through Big and Rich’s “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” when I notice that same guy—and his crew—have worked their way over to your table.

They’re just talking. It’s a bar; people talk. Chill out, I tell myself.

Your friends are clearly enjoying the attention, flirting it up with these guys like it’s a game. One of them is even wearing a cowboy hat she didn’t come in with, and I have to bite my tongue to stop from pulling a full dad move and telling her what that really means.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a bit of satisfaction when I see that while your friends are eating it up, you’re not. I can tell by the way you keep glancing at Cleo, leaning away, fidgeting with your straw in that nearly watered-down drink of yours.

I wander over to a nearby table, close enough to step in if I need to, and catch your eye as I do. Just then, that same guy rests his hand on your bare knee, and my spine snaps straight. You shrug him off, but he puts it right back.

Absolutely fucking not.

I’m at your table in seconds. “Hey, man, take your fucking hand off her,” I say, my voice low and menacing, the kind of tone I use when I’m really pissed.

His eyes flick up to mine, surprised, but he doesn’t move. “Now,” I growl, my patience hanging by a thread.

“Chill, old man. We’re just talking.”

“It doesn’t look like she wants to talk to you, kid,” I say, my eyes locking with yours. You’re giving me that Joel, don’t do this look, but I’m too far gone to care.

“We’re alright, aren’t we, baby?” the guy says, turning to you with a smug grin.

Baby? Not on my fucking watch. That’s it. I step in, grabbing him by the collar of his cheap shirt and yank him face-to-face with me.

“She’s not your fucking baby. Now take your friends and get the hell out of my bar.”

“You can’t be serious, man,” he stammers, eyes wide.

“As a heart attack,” I seethe, shoving him back. By now, Tommy’s made his way over from the bar, looking like he’s bracing for the shitstorm that’s about to unfold.

“Whatever, man. This place is lame, and this slut isn’t worth it,” the guy mutters, turning to walk away.

Tommy knows me too well. I see him pinch the bridge of his nose, like he’s already predicting my next move.

Before the guy can take another step, I grab his shoulder and swing, my fist connecting with a satisfying crack. The bar falls silent as bone meets bone, and the guy drops flat on the ground for a few seconds before scrambling back to his feet.

“Let’s see what you got, old man,” he snarls, coming at me with a wild swing. I catch his fist in my hand—his punch softer than the hands of someone who’s never done a day of hard work in his life—and twist his arm back.

Now standing between him and you, I make sure he’s far enough away that he couldn’t touch you if he tried. “I think you owe the lady an apology,” I say, tightening my grip until he groans in pain. “Don’t you?”

“What the fuck, man? What the hell is wrong with you?” he spits, struggling in my hold.

“Apologize,” I demand, twisting his arm harder. His eyes flash with defiance, but I squeeze tighter until the words grind out of his mouth like gravel.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, the words dripping with bitterness.

“Good. Now get the fuck out of my bar,” I say, shoving him into his friends, who look like they’re on the verge of pissing themselves.

They don’t wait for a second invitation.

“Sorry, man, we’ll get out of here,” one of the guy’s friends mutters, leading the group toward the door, clearly shaken. I almost feel bad for punching him—judging by the ache in my knuckles, I probably broke his nose—but no one gets away with talking to you like that. Not in my bar, not anywhere.

When the door finally shuts behind them, the whole place erupts in cheers. I guess when the bar owner punches someone, people assume they had it coming. But my focus isn’t on the noise around me. It’s on you.

Your arms are crossed over your chest, your eyes boring into me, clearly pissed. But I’m not about to give you the chance to chew me out in front of a crowd. Most people have already gone back to their drinks and music, the punch quickly becoming tonight's wild story.

Without a second thought, I stride over, grab you off your chair, and throw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You let out a startled yelp, but I don’t miss a beat, making sure to keep that too short for its own fucking good dress of yours down so nobody gets a free show.

This has gone on long enough. You’re mine, and I’m done pretending otherwise. And tonight, I’m going to make sure you know it.

“Joel Miller, I swear to God, put me down! Are you out of your mind?”

“No can do, Princess,” I say, walking through the bar with you draped over my shoulder. Your fists pound against my back like you think it'll make a difference. Cute.

“You’re insane!”

“Yeah, well, you have a way of driving me there.”

“What are you talking about? Put me down!” Your protests are loud, but I ignore them. I don’t set you down until we’re in my office, the door slamming shut behind us. I lock it with a sharp click before lowering you to the ground. The second your feet hit the floor, you shove me hard.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Joel? You can’t just go around punching people when they talk to me.”

“He touched you first,” I growl.

“This isn’t some fucking romance novel! I don’t need you swooping in to ‘save’ me from some creep at the bar. I can handle myself.” You’re glaring at me, fire blazing in your eyes. Exactly how I like it.

“I know you can.”

“Then why the hell did you just assault one of your own customers?”

I grab your waist, pinning you to the door before you can react. My lips brush down the column of your neck, my hand following until I claim your mouth with a fierce kiss. I pull back, tilting your chin so you’re forced to meet my gaze.

“Because, Princess, seeing him touch you made me fucking lose it,” I growl, my breath hot against your skin. “You drive me insane.”

Your chest rises and falls rapidly, anger flickering into something darker, more dangerous. “Joel, you can’t—” you stammer, but the words falter.

My other hand slides up your thigh, slipping beneath your dress. The soft skin under my fingers drives me wild. “Why not?”

“Because… hitting people is wrong. This… this is wrong. I’m your best friend’s daughter,” you manage, voice shaky.

“Because hitting people is bad. This is bad. I’m your best friends daughter.” I chuckled and moved my hand further up your dress to your panties. Or at least where they should have been. 

Fuck. 

“That may be the case, Princess. But you’re not a little girl anymore, are you? And I think it’s about time I give you a taste of your own medicine,” I say, grazing the line of your pussy lips. “You wanna know what I think is bad? You bringing this bare pussy into my bar like this.” 

I continue to tease you with my fingers, and you groan. 

Fuck. You make me insane. “She’s droolin’ for me, Princess. Shoulda told me this pussy was this juicy, and I woulda done this a long time ago,” the sound of the band drowns out everything outside of my office. It’s just us now. 

We’re not just crossing the line anymore—we’re obliterating it. We’re sprinting past, running laps around it, grinding it into the dirt with every reckless move we make, until it’s buried so deep it might as well have never existed at all.

“How long have you been like this?” 

“S–” I slip a finger into you, and you gasp. “Since I saw you behind the bar.” 

“Yeah? Is that why you came to take a shot with me, trying to get me to pay attention to this needly little cunt like you always do?” 

"I was thirsty." I chuckle darkly. "Thirsty, huh." I take a step back, slipping the finger that was just inside of you into my mouth, savoring your taste. God, you taste so fucking good. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey from my desk, I pull the stopper out with my teeth. “And are you still thirsty, Princess?” You nod without hesitation. “Open your mouth,” I command. You obey instantly, and the sight of your open mouth, ready and waiting, sends a jolt straight to my already hard cock. I take a long swig from the bottle but don’t swallow. My hand remains firm on your throat as I lean in, our faces close, and I slowly spit the whiskey into your mouth.

“Swallow,” and you do. I feel your throat work under my grip. Fuck. “Good girl.” 

I bring my hand back under your dress and watch as your eyes roll back into your skill as I slide my middle finger into your glistening hole. You start to move your hips, and I can’t help but add a second. I work you for a moment longer before quickly pulling my fingers away and stepping back. Your eyes shoot open. 

“Joel, what?” you ask, “Why are you stopping?” 

“I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret,” I say with a smile, sucking my fingers into my mouth, once again savoring the taste of you, enjoy the flavor of your slick mingling with the whiskey on my tongue. I take a step back, my cock painfully hard in my jeans, and take you in. 

God, you’re pretty like this. A little mad, flustered, dress wrinkled from my hands. I want to keep going, want to keep making a mess of you, but I need you to say it first. Need to know it’s what you actually want. 

“You’ve also been drinking,” I say, even though I know you’re not drunk, probably not even tipsy. 

“I’ve barely had anything to drink, I’m not drunk.” Just then, you press off the door and close the distance between us. “Well, if you won’t touch me, at least let me touch you,” you say, trailing your palm over my chest, fingertips catching on the buckle of my jeans before they fall lower to cup the hard bulge in my jeans.

“Let me take care of this,” you purr, and shit. How did this happen? I was supposed to be the one in control of this plane here. Mayday, mayday. We’re going down. 

“Princess,” I stutter, barely getting the words out, too lost in the feeling of you rubbing your hand over the denim, applying more pressure. I lean into it, craving the relief. You start to push me back towards my desk, and I let you, until the back of my legs hit the wood. 

You’re just standing there, holding my gaze, petting my cock like it’s a velvet bedspread. Just as I’m about to say something, you lower to your knees. Shit. Your hands move back to the metal of my belt buckle.

“May I?” 

As if I could ever say no. Words? They don’t exist anymore. Hell, I’m not even sure I exist anymore. Have I died and gone to heaven? I didn’t believe in God before this, but damn, I might start now, because from where I’m standing, you look like a fucking angel.

I nod, breath hitching as your fingers work the metal free.

“I wanna hear it,” you say, and god—every nerve in my body ignites.

“Yes, Princess. Let’s see how pretty you look with my cock in your mouth.” 

You have my pants undone and down in seconds, your movements quick and deliberate. Leaning in, you drag your tongue slowly along the length of my briefs, teasing, before pulling them down. My cock springs free, the relief of finally being out of those tight confines almost overwhelming. It practically tries to launch itself into your mouth, but you hold back, making me wait.

Instead, you wrap your hand around me, and lean in closer, your tongue flicking out to slowly lap up the bead of pre-cum at the tip. The groan that escapes me is involuntary—the feel of your hot, wet tongue against me sends a shudder down my spine. You lick me again, slow and deliberate, while your hand pumps the base of my cock. Fuck. If you keep this up, I’m going to lose it right here and now.

I force myself to think of anything else—anything not sexy. After some serious mental gymnastics, I manage to pull myself back from the edge. For now, I’m safe.

Well, at least I thought I was safe, and then you decided to put my cock in your mouth and take it as far down the back of your throat as you could go. Fuck. My hand instinctively wraps around the column of your throat, and I swear I feel you there. 

“Fuckkkkkk,” I groan. “God, you’re so fucking pretty like this, Princess.” I never really considered myself to be a vocal guy, but with you, all of that seemed to be thrown out the window. I’d sing you a fucking song if you asked me to right now. 

You’re taking me like a pro, even when I’m met with resistance at the back of your throat and you let out a little frustrated noise. “Didn’t think you could get any prettier, and then you started chocking on my cock,” I said, my voice husky and my throat tight. You look up at me through your thick eyelashes and nod as fiercely as possible.

I want the image of you on your knees with your red lips wrapped around my cock seared into my brain forever, so I take extra care to take a mental picture. 

I fist my hand in your hair, trying to remember to be gentle, but when I push my cock deeper down your throat, you moan. You slid the hand that wasn’t working my length under your dress to touch yourself. 

“Sucking my cock turns you on, doesn’t it Princess? You want me to fuck your face?” I ask, and you take your hand off my length and put it on my ass, pulling me deeper down your throat. 

I can’t take it anymore. I knot both of my hands into your hair and thrust into your mouth. Fuck, it feels so good. I don’t want to stop. I want to do this until I die. But I can’t – I don’t want to cum in your mouth. I need to feel your perfect little cunt wrapped around my cock before I do that. 

“Need to taste you,” you murmur, but before you can go any further, I reach down and pull you up to me, crashing your lips into mine. The kiss is rough, almost brutal, like we’re testing each other, seeing who can take more. I’m not holding back—I’m giving you everything.

I spin you around, pressing you between my chest and the desk, pinning you there. My hands slide over your hips, fingers gripping the fabric of your dress as I drag it upward. You start to bend over, and the sight of you, helpless and ready, makes my blood burn hotter.

“You sure you want this, Princess? Once I start, I’m not gonna be able to stop.” 

“Yes, Joel. Want you to fill me up, make me yours,” you say, and thank fucking hell for that. 

I rub my hands over the globes of your ass, my thumbs spreading your pussy open for me. You’re wet and glistening and perfect. I look down, open my mouth, and spit. My cock is already well wet from your throat, but I know I’m a lot to take, and I don’t want to hurt you. 

You wiggle your hips as if to say now, now.

“I got you, Princess,” and I mean it. I grip the base of my cock and line myself up against your wet and waiting hole, before I started pushing my cock into your wet heat. 

Holy. Fuck. 

You’re so tight. I grip your hips and work my way in slowly, going slow as you let out a little whimper. 

“It’s okay, Princess. You can take it. I know you can,” I say before thrusting one more time until I’m buried to the hilt inside of you. I pause, knowing if I start to thrust too soon, I’ll cum way too quickly. That can’t happen, not before you get off first. I take a deep breath and try to will myself back down from the solar system your cunt has propelled me to. It’s your voice begging for me to move that calls me back to my body. 

You don’t have to ask me twice. I start to move, pulling myself out slowly, admiring the grip of your skin on my cock as I do, and then I thrust back into you. Hard. I do it again and again. I lose myself in you and give you every inch of me that you’re willing to take, which you do so happily.

“More, Joel. Fuck me harder,” you beg, “Please.” 

And who am I to turn down a lady with such a polite request? I think about the guy who put his hand on you, and my next thrust is harder. I can feel my desk scraping across the floor, but I don’t care. I fuck you like that, my hands possessively on your perfect hips, as you clamp down on me so hard I start to see white. 

I pull you back up so you’re upright, still seated deep inside of you, as I snake my fingers around your body and play with your tits before dragging my hand down to your clit and start stroking it as I fuck you. I feel your pussy tightening around me, doing its best to milk me for every drop of my cum. 

You grab the hand that’s on my hip and move it up over your breast to your throat. I grip your throat and groan. “You like being fucked like this? Made into a little fuck toy for your daddy’s best friend, hmm? You like me using you like this, pinning you by your throat on my cock while I take what’s mine.” 

“Yes, Joel,” you whine, “Yes, yes, yes,” 

“Wanna hear you say it, Princess. Wanna hear you say who you belong to. Tell me you're mine,” I groan, my voice possessive. I can’t help it, I need to hear it. 

“I’m yours.”

“Damn fucking right you are, all mine,” I groan into your ear, tugging the lobe of it between my teeth and gently nipping at it, my grip on your neck still firm and my cock still thrusting into you like it was made for you and only you. 

“Joel,” you whine. It’s just my name, but it’s the way you say it and the feeling of your walls tightening on me that I can tell it’s your way of warning me you’re close. “Come for me, Princess. Show me how pretty you come,” and fuck if it wasn’t the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen a lot of pretty things in my life, but the sight of you orgasming on my cock is easily at the top of the list. 

‘Where do you want me, Princess? Can’t hold out much longer,” I say, still doing my best to hold you up and work you through the aftershocks of your orgasm while chasing my own. 

“Come inside of me, Joel,” and fuck. How am I supposed to deny a request like that?

It doesn’t take long. I start to feel the familiar build of my orgasm, that impending release that starts in my toes and builds higher and higher until all I can think about is you, filling you up, marking you as mine. A few seconds later, I do. 

I cum hard, deep. Did I intentionally make sure I was buried deep inside of you before painting your walls milky white? Yes. It would be a lie to say that I don’t get off on knowing you’ll be dripping with my cum for the rest of the night. 

Both of us now breathing heavily, I slowly ease myself out of you and watch the mixture of us drip down your thighs. 

“Hang on a sec, I’ll grab you some tissues,” I say, tucking my half-hard cock into my jeans and grabbing some of the tissues from the file cabinet next to my desk. I gently wipe my cum off of your thighs, and bring your dress back down over your ass and smooth the silk with my hands. 

You turn around, and I fold you into my arms.

I could get used to this. 

YOU

You’re not sure you’ve ever felt more at peace. Not only did you just experience the best fuck of your life, but now you’re nestled against his chest, surrounded by the intoxicating mix of his musk and cologne. You’ve been home for weeks, but it’s only in this moment that it truly feels like it.

You remember that line from Anna and the French Kiss—“Home isn’t a place, it’s a person.” You used to roll your eyes at that, but now, it makes sense. You get it. Completely.

His hands trace slow, soothing paths along your arms, the warmth of his touch grounding you. One hand slides up to your chin, and with a gentle press of his thumb, he tilts your face up to meet his gaze. He kisses you softly—still with that heat and passion, but this time, it’s slower, more deliberate, like he’s savoring the moment.

“Joel?” “Yeah, Princess?” “I don’t know what this means, but I want you to know—I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. I know I’m your best friend’s daughter, and there are a million reasons we shouldn’t do this. Telling my dad is going to be hard, but… I want this. I want you.”

He tightens his hold on you, his eyes locked on yours, reflecting every emotion you're feeling. “I don’t know what this means either,” he says quietly, “but I know we’ll figure it out. And as for your dad… I wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

You pull back, confused. What do you mean? My dad’s going to lose it when he finds out. It’s written all over your face, but Joel, sensing your concern, smirks before continuing.

“He was at the bar tonight.”

The words hit you like a punch.

END 

A/N Continued: The title of this work is based off the song Pretty Little Poison by Warren Zeiders. Thank you so much for reading! To be notified when I post fics, please follow my notifications blog @katiexpunkupdates.

Tags (lmk if you want to be removed! No hard feelings if so, ily guys.) // @legendary-pink-dot @syd-djarin @mermaidgirl30 @yxtkiwiyxt @survivingandenduring @pastawench @punkshort @alltheirdamn @hellishjoel @hotgirlbedtimescenarios

@miller-n-morgan-2 @clawdee @penvisions @darkheartgatita @pinkbowsandcoffeestains @magpiepills @endlessthxxghts @hellishjoel @punkshort @tightjeansjavi

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This was so fucking good!!!!

Such an original idea having been put together! Listen, I will read DBF fics all day long but the twist at the end?!?! OH MY WORD YES!!!!!!!!

YES YES YES

Guilty Pleasure | Series Masterlist

Pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x reader Summary: You're home from college for the summer, staying with your parents in Austin, TX. So is your dad's best friend, Joel Miller. Series warnings: Age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 43), masturbation (f), use of sex toys, oral sex, PiV, anal, hair pulling, dirty talk, getting caught, playful use of 'daddy', outrageous flirting, groping, reference to m/m, Joel's arms should always come with a warning. No outbreak!AU.

Part 1 You don't remember Joel looking like this - or you reacting so strongly to him. Part 2 After having gotten yourself off twice to the thought of Joel, your paths cross again in the kitchen. Part 3 Sunday dinner with your parents and Joel is... weird. But also hot. Part 4 Somehow you end up in the car with Joel for five hours. With all that heat outside, you just can't be held responsible for what happens next. Part 5 One thing you weren't prepared for: the sight of Joel using the pool in the backyard. One thing *he* wasn't prepared for - you needing some help to put on SPF. Part 6 An open bar and Joel in a tailored black outfit mean trouble at your father's garden party. Enough reason to do something you haven't done before.

Part 7 You've thought about this moment so many times. Now you're actually standing there, your hand on the doorknob of Joel's room, and you can hear his heavy breathing already.

A/N: If you know me, you're probably just as shocked as I am to see a dbf!Joel fic by my hand. Totally get it if it's not your thing. However - if you've read and enjoyed other fics by me, you may wanna give this one a try after all. Thank you to @magpiepills @legendary-pink-dot @lotusbxtch @sin-djarin @mountainsandmayhem

@qveerthe0ry @perotovar

encouraging me to write a wild idea that suddenly came to mind. This came together shockingly fast with ideas and feedback from all of them, so thank you babes for supporting and enabling me!

And yes, of course this series is named after the Chappell Roan song 'Guilty Pleasure' because of allll the reasons.

👉If you want to receive notifications when I post new fic, please follow @longlongtime-updates

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i’m genuinely going insane

DAD BEST FRIEND JOEL EVERYONE SHUT UP

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it’s giving dbf!joel

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Waiting Game

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel Miller has mastered the art of self-control in all areas except one: not fucking his friend’s daughter. A cross-country road trip home from college takes a hard turn when he’s forced to share a motel room with you.

Warnings: 18+. Protected p-in-v. Praise. Overstimulation. Sweet, possessive, slightly obsessive and pussywhipped Joel. Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Angst. Accidental creampie. Joel fucking you while on the phone with your father.

Part 2

“You okay, hon? You sound…distracted,” your dad presses. A hint of concern rises from his end of the line.

At length, Joel grips both of your legs and brings them up over his shoulders, and he grins before kissing your ankle and shoving his cock even deeper.

“Yes!” you yelp as you crush the phone to your ear, hoping your father can’t hear any of the filthy sounds down below, “Just a little stretched—I mean stressed out, is all.”

Aside from the fact that he smoked like a chimney and bumped far more Billy Joel than any man ever should, Mr. Miller was an A-OK friend—your father’s best friend.

All you needed was a ride home for the holidays.

From the second you’d set foot in his old Ford Bronco, you sensed this trek wouldn’t be an enjoyable one—thirty-hour road trips rarely ever were—but you leaned back in the passenger seat, propped your feet on the dashboard, and bopped along to ‘You May Be Right’ for the fifty-fifth fucking time that morning and smiled.

Joel frowned.

“Dogs off the dash,” he muttered, swatting at your bare, polished toes before you kicked his touch away.

“Shotgun puts her feet up, driver shuts his cakehole.”

That wasn’t even how the saying went. Oh well.

Joel slowed the car to sixty in the right-hand lane and smacked your ankles even harder. You yelped.

“Hey! You can’t hit a woman!”

“I’m not hitting a woman, I’m hitting a little gremlin,” Joel tried not to grin as he delivered another tart slap to your foot, and you almost jerked into the passenger door.

He momentarily righted the car before it went veering into the lane beside it, seized one of your feet, and tried to forcibly shove it off the dashboard, to no avail. As soon as he moved one limb, the other would glide right back up to take its place; Joel’s hands were big, but they weren’t massive enough to grab hold of both of your legs at once and make you stay the fuck there, Christ’s sake.

You liked to see him flustered. Brought a whole new hue to his tough, stubbled cheeks that folks rarely got to see. You squirmed in your seat when he reached for your side.

“Wh—NO! No tickling!” you cried, trying your hardest to roll away.

But the man was nothing if not a lover of cheap shots and filthy antics. He’d never played a clean game in his life and wasn’t about to start now.

His gaze darted from the road to your writhing form, pinned against the door and begging him to stop, while he pressed his foot harder on the gas and smirked.

“Too much?” he teased, “Say pretty, pretty please.”

In other words: give up. You would do no such thing. Your elbow jutted out to the side and clipped his fingertips sharply, and right before he could reach for you again, you were heaving yourself up and leaning almost halfway out the open window, trying to shy away from his touch.

“You fuckin’ nuts?! Get down!” he yelled.

“But it just may be a luuuunatic you’re lookin’ for!” you sang along to your old friend Billy Joel and pretended not to see, or hear, Joel Miller twisting desperately across the center console to take hold of your belt loops.

“Get—I swear to God, kid—DOWN!”

Joel had just managed to finagle a loose, feeble grip on your denim waistband as he tried to keep the car from soaring across three lanes of traffic, was just about to yank you back inside and give you a red-faced, fatherly lecture of a lifetime, when a sound startled you both.

A siren, and a set of flashing blue lights behind you.

You scrambled back in your seat and swallowed a lump in your throat the size of a peach. You turned off Mr. Long Island.

“Great! Good fucking going,” Joel griped beside you as he flicked on his blinker and started to pull off the road.

Dogs no longer on the dash—and a very pissed off cop pulling up behind your car on the shoulder of the road—you got the feeling this would be a long couple of days.

You hadn’t even made it outside the city limits of Boston.

Somewhere between Richmond and Roanoke, the two of you turned off the highway to find a place to sleep.

Joel had sat and stewed and ignored you for the customary duration of about two hours before choosing to re-engage in conversation, but deep down, you knew he was still kind of irked by that reckless driving citation he’d received. You couldn’t help but feel responsible.

Though it had been pretty funny when the state trooper had approached the car and pointedly asked, “What the hell was your daughter doin’ danglin’ outta this thing?!” Joel was nowhere near as amused as you, but he managed to roll with it and told the cop you were just trying to wave to the cows in the fields passing by.

The police officer hadn’t bought it.

He probably would have arrested you both if you hadn’t been such a coquettish flirt and somehow managed to persuade the man to let your ‘dad’ off with just a ticket.

You had hoped that would temper Joel’s anger some, but if anything, the sight only seemed to make him more mad at you. You weren’t sure why.

Presently, you pulled up to Balmaceda’s Mountain Lodge and cast a bleak look at the front office before you.

This looked nothing like the snug, homespun mountain retreat you’d been picturing in your mind. Ahead of your car, there stood a single-story concrete slab of a motel, tilted to one side and consumed almost entirely by the dark of night and wide open wilderness. A big block letter neon sign displaying the owner’s name in red now barely flickered above a muddied, pinkish glow. You groaned.

But before you could complain to your travel companion, Joel was already stepping out of the car and heading toward the main office. Hastily, you followed after.

“No way, Miller. No fucking way are we staying in Murder Motel,” you hissed.

“Bal-ma-ceda’s,” Joel intoned with a maddeningly accurate lilt, ignoring your protests, “I think that’s a Chilean name.”

He swung the door wide for you to enter and pretended not to see you shoot him a glare as you strolled in.

“Needin’ a room?”

The lady behind the counter barely graced your entrance with a look.

“Yes ma’am. Whatever you got,” Joel replied, smiling.

“Smoking or non?”

“Smoking, please.”

Of course he would. You could already feel the fetid stench of American Spirits wafting up to your nostrils.

“King or two Queens?”

“Queens,” you and Joel answered in unison.

At first, the woman nodded, flicked through a rolodex on her desk and nosed through a couple yellowed pages in front of her. Then, frowning, she looked back up.

“Sorry. All the Queens are took up. Rest of the rooms are being fumigated but the one—” she tapped a manicured nail on the motel map, “—and it’s got a King. That okay?”

No. No, it was not. You opened your mouth to speak but were shortly cut off by the woman before you could.

“Of course, if you don’t want dad hoggin’ up all the sheets, there’s a pull-out sofa for him to sleep on.”

The sixty-something desk clerk offered a smile, and you likely would’ve returned the favor if you hadn’t been so deeply nauseated at the thought of everyone around you assuming that Joel was your father. You chanced a look at the man, who seemed equally uncomfortable as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. You sighed.

“Alright.”

Defeated, but marginally pleased that you wouldn’t have to share a bed with your ‘old man’ that night.

Joel paid and signed the papers without another word, or look, to you or the woman. By the looks of it, he just wanted to book the room and get the hell out as fast as possible, his brow pinched inward and lips zipped tight.

He’d turned to leave so quick that he was almost approaching the door when the lady called out,

“Mr. Miller! You forgot your keys.”

You hardly needed to steal a glance in Joel’s direction to see that he was flushed. Even blushing a bit.

You strode over to the counter and intercepted the keys she was dangling for someone to take, then politely, finally, were able to manage a smile and a thank-you.

You turned back to Joel.

“Here you go, Daddy.”

In a blink, the small silver set was pelted in his hands, and the man nearly dropped them—and lost his balance. By some miracle, Joel managed to catch them between his big sweaty palms and step aside just in time for you to saunter past him, straight through the door.

“I’m starved,” you announced, then, averting your face to hide your smug expression and lower your voice a bit, “Feed me, Daddy.”

In that moment, Joel thanked every last one of his lucky stars that his pants were made of denim, and that the denim itself was thick. And that the woman at the front desk was swift to turn her attention back to her tabloid magazine, away from you two, and didn’t look up again.

If they weren’t, and if she hadn’t, it would’ve been plain as day to see that Joel Miller was sporting a hard-on.

A huge, swollen hard-on that made it almost impossible for him to walk and haul luggage and try to keep apace with your steps as you sailed along the gravel drive. So big the man had to will himself not to limp, not to make it known how stiff he was, until he eventually failed at both.

Once you’d grabbed your bags back at the car and made it up to your place, you entered Room 102 with a lightness you hadn’t felt all day. Joel slogged behind with all of the baggage and a boner beneath his jeans that probably could’ve cut sheet metal, if needed.

He was fucked. No doubt he’d have to enlist in the Witness Protection Program after your real father found out that his best friend had gotten visibly bricked up for you, his one and only daughter. How awkward holiday dinners were bound to be from that point on; how humiliating it seemed to him to pop a chub at a thing as dumb as saying ‘daddy’; how batshit insane it was that he hadn’t gotten laid in almost a year, and you were still, somehow, the only one he wanted to break the dry spell.

Joel was better than this. A fucking pro at self-control and all things dirty old guys didn’t do. He could chill out.

He just needed to rub one out in the bathroom, fast.

So, while you flopped down on the bed, Joel dropped every bag and made a beeline for the toilet. Slammed the door so hard he probably could’ve knocked the thing off its hinges, but he didn’t care. He was wrestling his belt, button, and zip off in a second. Then haphazardly turning on the sink to mask the sounds of all that was to come. No pun intended.

He yanked his thick, throbbing, rock-hard member out of its confines and had to hiss through his teeth to keep from moaning. The sensitivity he felt was unbearable, the front of his boxers already painted with pre-cum.

Gingerly, Joel wrapped one hand around his cock and raised the other to anchor himself against the sink. He slid his palm, which he’d just barely lubricated with some spit of his, up and down the shaft and groaned. A welt of pleasure formed in his chest, and he rubbed even faster. And, in spite of his legs feeling a bit like jelly, he stood there and fucked his fist and wished with every bit of himself that it was your warm, lush folds opening around him instead. Stifled a groan and would’ve paid any sum of money to hear your moans spilling out while he thrusted. The act here was more mindless and reflexive than anything else—jerking himself and soaking in the sharp, fiery sensations that shot up through his body.

To him, at least, it was all purely physical. Mechanical.

Nowhere near as euphoric and otherworldly as it would have been with your hand actually curled around him.

Or your lips. Or your tongue. Or your tight, wet cunt.

Fuck, he needed a shower.

Blindly, Joel moved inside the tub to his left and yanked the curtain shut over a space almost two times too small for his frame. He turned on the water and made it hot. Then he fisted his cock again, pressed his head to the shower wall, and pumped himself as fast as his forearm would allow him—trying all the while not to think of you.

You, with all your wily, shrewd ways were still the daughter of the man who guzzled down IPAs with him at the local dive bar every Thursday night over jalapeño poppers and buffalo dip. The man who clapped him over the shoulder and shook his frame with the kind of good-natured sneer that only a best friend could make, ‘A man as suave as you oughta get some tail every now and then. Go find you a gal and fuck her brains out, Joel!’

But the only ‘gal’ Joel wanted to rail was the one who called that man ‘dad’—and just called him ‘daddy’ for the first time that night—and he hated himself for it.

Sparks of pleasure continued to ignite across his lower half as he jerked himself in the shallowest, short pumps. He flicked his hand back and forth, circled the tip with his palm, and felt a groan start to claw at his throat. He tried to picture any face but yours but failed miserably.

All he could think, see, or breathe was you—imagining your lips enveloping the head of his cock, jerking him softly, taking him down to the back of your throat and bobbing that pretty little face up and down his length.

That sweaty, desperate fist of his just wasn’t cutting it.

For the first time, Joel couldn’t make himself cum.

Now even more pent-up and pussywhipped than he’d been when he first started, he slammed his palm against the wall and flung the shower handle in the opposite direction—turning the water as cold as it could get.

Five minutes passed, and the icy spray had scarcely left a dent in his raging erection. Joel stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his hips, and stood in front of the mirror to see that he was still very hard.

Fuck this.

He bunched his strewn aside clothing together and held it over his crotch, discreet as he could, and waddled out.

And, either the temperature inside had just jumped fifty degrees or the world outside had just caught fire, but Joel’s face was flooded with heat the second he exited.

You were sprawled across the bed wearing nothing but a thin white tank, shorts, and fuzzy socks—and a scowl.

“Sofa’s broke,” you said.

Joel blinked.

“Broke?”

You nodded toward the busted sleeper couch at the far end of the room, torn to pieces and kicked a half-dozen times since you’d tried unfolding it in Joel’s absence.

The jaws of the old steel frame had simply refused to give way, and now the sofa was so out of sorts and misshapen that you had no hope of putting it back the way that it was. You sank further in the bed and pointed to the floor.

“You can sleep there.”

Joel eyed a flat sheet and a pillow laid across the carpet, visibly coated in dust and grime. He turned back to you.

“You’re smokin’ crack if you think I’m doin’ that.”

“Be grateful I’m not making you sleep in the car, daddy.”

Again with that fucking name. Joel tightened his grip on the clothes he was holding over his dick and tried to fight a thousand dirty thoughts threatening to seep back into his head.

Unfortunately, the dirty thoughts had hands—and were beating his ass to a bloody pulp when he first caught sight of your nipples poking up through your shirt. Just when the man might have started to drool or else begun humping that pile of clothes, you snapped your fingers.

“Miller Lite. Eyes up here.”

Fuck.

“Got a…stain on your shirt,” he grumbled in his defense.

“Shut up. Now, we can flip for the bed if you want.”

By turns, Joel’s focus was slowly coming back, and the man was trying like hell to find a place on your face that didn’t arouse him to no end—to help ease the intrusive thoughts and all. So far his search had yielded nothing.

“Like, uh…coin?” he asked. Endearingly stupid.

“Heads, I win,” you said, nodding, “Tails…”

Joel swallowed.

“Tails, what?”

“Tails, you tell me what was going on in your head when you were jacking off to the thought of me just now.”

Your words came out in a hurry, almost too quick for Joel to comprehend. He still heard them, though, and nearly choked on his spit when he tried to swallow again.

“I wasn’t—”

“You were,” you bit back, “I heard you moan my name.”

Joel didn’t remember that. Joel didn’t remember much of anything that had taken place in that bathroom apart from being implacably horny and unable to bust a nut. You stepped off the bed to stand in front of him.

“What? Cat got your tongue all of a sudden?” you sneered, “Think I’m just gonna run off and tell my da—”

“Don’t,” Joel’s response was immediate, insistent. Then, setting his jaw in a way you knew too well, contemplating about fifty different thoughts in the span of two seconds, he pressed the clothes pile to his crotch even tighter and sighed, “Don’t…do that, please. I’ll take the floor.”

You raised both brows, mildly amused.

“I said we could flip for it. C’mon,” you said.

“Ain’t got any coins.” Joel was already retreating to his makeshift sleeping pad on the floor, eyeing the shag carpet for any traces of blood, piss, or rodent droppings. Before he made it too far, you reached for his arm.

Joel tensed under your touch.

“We can try something else.” Your voice was cloying, almost too sweet to be trusted.

It had just dawned on you then how bare the man standing before you was. Clad in only his towel, every taut, toned inch of Joel’s body was there on display—coated with sweat and a fine sheen from the shower, his skin practically shone in the glow of the bedside lamp. You watched him shift in place and saw the towel around his hips stir along with it. He never let those old clothes in his hands move an inch away from his groin, though.

“What game?” he asked.

“Something my roommates showed me,” you began, “‘Too Hot.’”

“Too Hot?”

“You heard me.”

“What, like— like Spin the Bottle, or some bullshit?”

Joel could just picture it: a gaggle of your college pals huddled around an old, empty bottle of Bud Light as you watched it turn circles again, and again, and again on the dorm’s linoleum floor. You tugging at the sleeve of some oversized man-child from a frat Joel couldn’t name, leaning in and beaming like the insatiable flirt he knew you to be, asking that boy if he wanted to sneak off somewhere and let his tongue take a tour of your mouth.

The thought made Joel’s stomach turn.

Presently, you wrinkled your nose up at him.

“Spin the Bottle? That’s rookie shit,” you made another face reminding Joel, once more, how little he knew of the life you lived 1,900 miles away from Austin, at college.

He still couldn’t shake the thought of those boys.

“No, Joel,” you shook your head, drawing your syllables out for effect, “‘Too Hot’ is just…edging your opponent.”

Joel’s throat tightened, and he tried not to let his eyes widen too much, but he was almost certain they had. Before he even knew the words he was saying, the thought of your father taking his fist—or a shotgun—to his face made him blurt out in response, stammering,

“We can’t— I can’t— can’t lay one finger on you, darlin’, you know that. Your dad would murder me.”

To his surprise, the smile on your face only widened.

“Bingo,” You stuck one pretty finger in his face like he’d made the world’s finest discovery, “You can’t touch me.”

“Huh?”

“That’s the whole fuckin’ game, Miller. We can kiss, but we can’t touch each other with our hands. First one to crack and grope the other player loses the game.”

Your expression now was something just shy of sadistic. Watching him with keen, narrowed eyes and a wicked little grin, it seemed you were half-expecting him to fold on the spot. No way was this a game your college friends taught you; you just wanted to play him. Make him lose.

And Joel was a man who couldn’t stand to lose, no matter the stakes.

You watched that failure-averse glint eclipse every shade of lust in his eyes, at least momentarily. Suddenly, Joel didn’t look so fearful of your father’s wrath or what lurid implications this night might bring—he just had to win.

“You suck, you know that?” he said, at last, dropping his makeshift shield from the front of his towel and knocking you flat on the bed with a single push.

“You wish I would,” you grumbled, heart still jumping up in your ribcage all the same. You scooted back.

“I bet you will.”

The man was a menace when he had the will to be.

At length, Joel crawled over your body and made room for himself snug between your legs. The bulge that he’d been trying to hide all this time was now heavy on your center, pressed tight to your stupid-thin shorts and the panties you’d conveniently forgotten to wear. He grinned.

“Are tongues allowed?” he hummed.

“Everything but hands,” you shrugged.

Try as you might to play it cool with him, though, every fibre of your being was alight with desire for the man on top of you. You flitted a look between his soft brown eyes and slightly parted lips and could’ve melted in that bed had Joel not lowered his head and dove right in for it.

His mouth was far gentler than expected. Reverent, even. He slotted his lips between your own and made a fine, delicate showing of just how tender and adept he could be while imparting his slow, sweet kisses. Skirted his tongue across your bottom lip before driving it inside, coaxed your mouth open to him in a matter of seconds. He was graceful. And patient. And lithe with that tongue.

Joel Miller was showing off for you—the bastard.

“Sweet little thing,” he groaned against your mouth, “Ain’t felt a tongue this shy on mine in a long time.”

Of course he’d try taunting you, too. Same old Joel.

“What’s it been? Two years since a woman let you touch her?”

“Twenty since I felt one this good.”

You would’ve liked to reach around the back of his head and seize a clump of that thick, dark, grey-speckled hair. But you couldn’t. Your hands remained plastered to the duvet beneath you, and then, just slightly, your fingers started to curl inward. Joel’s palms laid flat on either side of your head.

It felt weird; mashing lips, teeth, and tongue with a man who’d been alive about twenty years longer than you and went further back with your father than you could even remember. What felt even stranger was the fact that you couldn’t touch him, or take him between your two hands.

Joel’s tongue continued roaming every contour and crevice of your mouth like he had an ache for this taste that he just couldn’t quench. Your tongue tried keeping up, too, but frankly, you were too preoccupied by a pulse between your legs—your parts and Joel’s practically throbbing in time with one another—to work just as hard.

Even through the towel, he felt huge.

You whined when Joel started to grind up against you, and shortly, those fingers of yours that had just been grazing the sheets before were gripping them. Tight.

“Earlier…” Joel murmured between kisses, hips working a vicious pace against you, “You said you were hungry.”

“Yeah?”

“Sorry—starved,” he corrected himself, and you almost could’ve smacked him for being so smug about it.

“What’s your point, Miller?” You were fisting the sheets beneath your palms and gyrating your whole body to meet the motions of the man currently dry-humping you.

All of a sudden, Joel’s movements stopped.

He peered down at you with a curious look.

“I could go for something to eat, too,” he declared.

You blinked. Stared. And just when you’d opened your mouth to say, well, maybe you should’ve grabbed us a bite to eat when we passed that Burger King on the way in, dipshit, Joel’s torso started to move down your own. Slow and painstaking as ever as he made sure not to graze one inch of your skin with his hands while he did.

You leapt back against the headboard, almost cracking your skull on the wood.

“Joel— Joel,” you hissed as the heels of your feet dug into the mattress below, and Joel just sank even further.

Then he was slowly, scrupulously pinching the fabric of your shorts between each index finger and thumb, gaze trained close on your lower half to make sure he never touched you, and he started pulling it down.

“This isn’t—” you started again, only to be offered a soft shush and an even quieter rustle of the cotton material sliding down both your legs.

You dropped your head on a pillow and probably could’ve burned a hole in the ceiling with the wide-eyed look you fixed on one spot, in utter disbelief of what he was doing.

“No panties, huh?” Joel observed. Gentle puffs of his breath were now fanning across the whole bare expanse of your lower half, and your pyjama bottoms were shortly discarded. His face was just hovering there, and you could tell that he knew you knew by the way he lowered his voice and brought his head to have only the tips of his chin stubble grazing your abdomen, “You needed this.”

Some lone remnant of ire flashed in your eyes.

“I don’t need shit from you, Miller. You need me. And you’re gonna lose this.”

Even though your gaze was still trained to the ceiling, you could feel him grin against your delicate skin.

“Hey,” he mumbled, “You said tongues are fair game.”

Fuck me, you wanted to keen the second his lips made contact with your…lower ones, and Joel swiftly got to kissing you there just as he’d done to you above. Hot, soft, and tender as the first rays of morning sun heralding a new day, he sponged his lips across the seam of your heat and made as if to massage the place, gently.

You could hear as well as you could feel that effusion of desire leaking out of your cunt and pooling around the man’s mouth. How eager he was to lap it up with his tongue, to grace your ears with those delectable squelching sounds, he caressed every inch between your folds and only sank deeper when you whined above him.

“Joel.”

Right now you couldn’t look down. Not with the way your legs were already trembling around his head, your chest heaving with the fastest, most frenzied breaths. You’d sooner die before you watched him unravel you like this.

“Darlin’, you’ve got a man soaked.” Some sound almost resembling a chuckle reverberated between your thighs and sent a brand new shockwave of pleasure in its wake, “You like it when daddy uses his mouth on this needy, wet cunt, don’t you?”

Yes, yes, you did. But your answer was nonverbal: a sharp curl of your toes and a grip between your fingers so tight across the sheets that he saw you veritably could’ve torn the linens in two.

Neither of you had laid a hand on the other.

Joel was perfectly content to make do with his mouth for now.

“Got those sheets all balled up, you’re fixin’ to rip ‘em.”

“My tongue make ya feel that good, honey?”

“Poor thing can’t even breathe it feels so nice, right?”

So he’d seen you hiccup, try to steady your breaths, and fail before succumbing to a string of lewd moans. Joel saw you, and knew how you felt, as if he’d had his own secret gauge for how good his mouth was doing you in.

Surely, he could’ve sensed the words before they ever came out of your mouth.

“Touch me, Joel, please.”

His tongue was just then making a lazy circuit around your clit, mouth saturated in your juices, when he smiled.

“Nah.”

Curt and cruel as ever. Then:

“No matter how fuckin’ perfect this pussy is, I ain’t losin’.”

He completed the arc with his tongue and took your bud between his lips, sucking in. You almost screamed.

“Motherfucker.”

“Miller, baby, Miller. Close, though.”

And just when you thought he’d had his fill of cheeky games, Joel sucked your clit even harder and flicked the tip of his tongue against your bundle of nerves until you were writhing, crying on the bed above him,

“JoelbabypleasebabyfuckmefuckohfuckitfeelsoGOOD.”

It was a bit tough to decipher through your strangled, desperate moans, but Joel got the picture. Heeding your requests, he kept at that pace above your clit and slid his tongue back and forth, over and over, lapping up your honeyed glaze like it was the finest thing he’d tasted. Scruff harsh against your thighs, lips soft in a perfect suction, Joel Miller had your head swimming in desire and your better judgment dissipating before your eyes.

At the first sign of bliss, your muscles clenched, and the last linchpin of your resolve crumbled right along with it.

You carded your hands through Joel’s hair and grabbed hold of those locks with a full-throated moan, using his head for shameless leverage to buck and rut your hips into his face as you rode out the peaks of your high.

And, ever the gentleman, Joel fought like hell to keep his lips and tongue connected to your core while you writhed above him—this time at liberty to work his arms under your thighs and hold them since you’d given up the game. He would’ve smiled if he weren’t so narrowly preoccupied, seeing you thrash about and moan out loud and fuck his face like it was the last thing tethering you to earth. He liked seeing you come undone beneath him.

A bit too much, if he were being completely honest.

While you made the languid descent from ecstasy and your breaths were still slowing in your chest on the bed, Joel was back on his feet. Padding toward the bathroom door, slamming it shut behind him as he had before. When he returned in a minute or two, he was clothed. He fished for his keys in the pockets of his snug, stonewash Wranglers and made a face. He didn’t look at you.

“I’ll be back,” he said, starting toward the door.

“Back?” You sat up, perplexed, “The hell ya goin’?”

“Out.”

This motherfucker.

“Did I miss something? Were we not just seconds away from getting down to some how’s-your-father?”

Joel visibly grimaced at your choice of sex slang. Under the circumstances, you would concede it wasn’t ideal.

“O-kay, sorry,” you returned, crossing your legs out in front of you, “I mean…don’t you want me to get you off?”

Again, Joel’s expression twisted into something just shy of overwrought, weary, and repulsed—a look that you couldn’t begin to understand, for the life of you—and you watched him flit his eyes from the bed to the door, again and again, seeming to be pining for the sweet release of leaving your shared motel room as soon as possible.

You’d been with your fair share of emotionally avoidant fucksticks, but most of them didn’t ghost until after they’d gotten their nut and felt no reason to stick around. Joel’s exit seemed premature. Strange.

“So you don’t want to fuck?” you asked, deadpan. You’d never been one for beating around the bush.

“Can’t,” Joel shook his head, bringing one hand to rest on his hip while the other fiddled uncomfortably with his car keys, “Your dad…that’s just— that’s crossing a line.”

“And being nose-deep in my cunt isn’t?”

You stared him down, incredulous.

So now he decides to claim the moral high ground, after coaxing you to soak every inch of his beard and cum all over his tongue? How very fucking charitable of him.

“That’s different,” Joel retorted, rubbing his knuckles in a nervous tic, “That was a game. I won. We’re done.”

You set your jaw just tight enough to keep your tongue in check and refrained from firing off a brash, unsavory remark. It wouldn’t do either of you a lick of good.

You let him leave. Joel had told you that you could keep the bed, he didn’t mind, and then he slipped out the door without another word. Leaving you cold and alone on the soiled, tawdry floral bedspread of Room 102, wondering what the hell had gone so wrong in the span of the last five minutes. From the center of the bed, you could see Joel’s Bronco pull off into the silent, frigid night.

You were still hungry as shit.

Rolling onto your side and rummaging through the bags at the end of the bed, you found nothing even remotely edible—save for, literally, one of Joel’s brownie edibles—and you groaned out loud. You threw your shorts back on, stepped into your old Luccheses, and did a quick circuit around the room to find your jacket before you left. As it turned out, you’d forgotten it back in Joel’s car.

You dropped to your knees and went back to tearing through luggage, searching for some suitable outerwear.

By the end of that second suitcase foray, though, you found you had nothing of your own that was hefty enough to brave the below-freezing temperatures outside, so you had to settle on a dark brown, fleece-lined coat from Joel’s bag. It was durable enough but about four sizes too big—and reeked of cigarette smoke.

You trudged outside, not really knowing where you were going or what you were hoping to find. Your stomach growled, and a few cool gusts of wind came to lap at the bare skin of your thighs where Joel’s spit was still drying.

You stepped a few feet out and turned toward the road.

Bal-ma-ceda’s, you read the seedy neon sign and heard Joel’s enunciation of the name ring between your ears.

What you wouldn’t give for the greasiest, girthiest, barely-FDA-approved 7-Eleven corndog to kill your thoughts about that sleazy little fucker right now.

You started toward the convenience store across the street but quickly found that it was closed—along with every other establishment on that stretch of road. You glanced toward the front office and caught a glimpse of your old friend dozing behind the counter. The speakers outside were playing a tinny rendition of ‘Piano Man.’

Just as you tried not to barf in your mouth at the sound and silently primed yourself for a long, long trek through the boonies to the nearest gas station, you stopped.

In a compact little breezeway that cleaved the motel in two, you saw light pool around an old vending machine.

You almost fell over yourself trying to get to it.

Never mind the fact that there were about half a dozen ragtag teens decked out in camouflage and comically tattered denim cutoffs crowding the area. All absently smoking and blowing o’s, or else sipping on cans of beer in the cramped, concrete passage, they looked bored. A couple lazy smiles broke out upon seeing your approach.

You nodded back and sidled up to the snack dispenser.

Then you zeroed in on the first sugar-packed products you could find: a pack of sour gummy worms and a bottle of Sprite—no, Mountain Dew—and a chocolate bar. Maybe a bag of Cheetos or Fritos thrown in for good measure. All of the snacks were probably stale as shit and hadn’t seen a replacement since dinosaurs roamed the earth, but you didn’t care. You were prying singles out of your wallet and salivating before you could think.

“Gotta kick it a couple times ‘fore it’ll spit anything out,” one of the boys lounging around you piped up.

You’d just inserted a couple bills and were waiting for the machine to dispense your gummy worms, when the thing appeared to stall. Stuck in its tracks, like he’d said.

You raised a brow and tapped the toe of your boot to the appliance, turning toward the one who’d addressed you,

“Like this?”

“Nope. Nuh-uh.” The redhead got up and strode over, where his much bigger, square-toed boot delivered a kick to the vending machine that almost toppled it.

A bag of Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers dropped out.

The kid—who actually happened to be nineteen years old and a student at some college a few states away, along with his whole group of friends—was kind enough to repeat the same ritual for all of your treats. You’d just gathered your stuff together and were about to thank him for his services, when the guy presently stuck a hand in your direction and introduced himself as Connor.

Then Blake. Then Micah. Then Wyatt. Then Trent. All traveling with their team for a tournament that weekend.

Then a beer was held out to you. You declined. A little homemade deer jerky? No, thanks. How ‘bout some Oreos? I’m good on snacks, really. Well, shit, you seem a little high-strung, why don’t you take a hit right here? And Connor pulled his dab pen out from his pocket.

Well.

You hadn’t smoked in a minute. You might’ve decided to take a bite out of Joel’s brownie back in the room, but you hadn’t known how strong it was—or where the fuck he’d gotten it. The pen this stranger was offering you was one that looked similar enough to the kinds you’d seen passed among your friends a hundred times before that you felt comfortable taking one hit, maybe. Two max.

You felt stupid as soon as you’d sucked in every breath, but you ended up taking four hits in total.

You hacked and sputtered and blinked up at Connor, who was grinning big.

“Alright, hardass,” he chuckled, taking back the device.

“Daddy know you smoke?” Wyatt cut in with a sneer.

Daddy?

There was no fucking way Joel looked that old for everyone to think he was your father. You inwardly cringed.

“Y’all been spying on us?”

“Ain’t shit else to do around here.” That was Blake.

You tried to swallow but found your throat much drier than it had been before. And not just from the weed.

“He doesn’t care,” you said, managing a shrug.

It wasn’t entirely false. Joel did give no fucks about you.

“Dude looks like a— a fuckin’ DEA agent or something,” Micah said, amused.

“Like that guy from Narcos,” Trent snickered.

You’d never seen the show and didn’t particularly care to know what law enforcement archetype Joel appeared to embody—in fact, you didn’t want to discuss him at all.

Just as the first fuzzy beads of warmth began to roll into your head, you were already planning your exit strategy. Thank Connor for his selfless assistance and cannabis, bid the group a good night and the best of luck in their upcoming lax tournament, and be done with this shit, ASAP. You were still trying to steady your tongue in the bone-dry cavern that had become your mouth when one of them kicked at a near-empty case of beer at their feet.

“We’re about out.” Micah announced.

Seconds later, Connor was turning to you.

“Wanna…restock in our room?” he asked, the corners of his lips twisting into a smile as he looked down at you.

You crinkled your nose and shook your head. Connor leaned his whole weight against the vending machine between you, seeming unconvinced by your answer.

“I don’t believe you,” he said, “I think you wanna come.”

“Do I?”

You only entertained the backtalk because your brain was currently swimming in a far-off, pleasant void of contentment and indifference. Every sharp edge dulled in your mind, to an extent, and your body at ease. You didn’t have to be home to anyone, anytime, and Joel was probably halfway plastered at a dive bar down the road. You didn’t move back when Connor stepped forward.

He wasn’t even that close. You could leave whenever you pleased.

“For sure. I think you’d enjoy our shitty beer and even shittier company. We can smoke some more, too.”

The man certainly had a way with words. He muscled in a bit closer.

“You think so?” you hummed.

“I do. I really do.”

“And you’re willing to risk the wrath of my dad if he finds out where I am?” You made it sound like a challenge.

“Wyatt can fight.”

Connor motioned toward his friend, who was mindlessly chomping on deer jerky in his lawn chair off to the side, glossy-eyed and hammered. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Okay, but make sure he’s ready. I can only stay for five.”

Connor seemed wounded as he put a hand over his heart in mock dismay.

“Only five minutes?” he griped, “Why not ten? Or twenty?”

“Six.”

“Fifteen at least.”

You folded your arms over your chest and felt an opaque haze beginning to settle over your brain. It wasn’t quite a high, just a lightness of being that drove tender little streaks up your spine. Like Joel, tickling at your sides while you writhed around in the front seat of his car.

This time you took the beer Connor offered and cracked it open. He seemed pleased—and taken by surprise—to see you down the drink in spite of the overflowing foam.

“Ten,” you returned once you’d swallowed it all.

“Twenty.”

“Honey?”

The last voice didn’t belong to anyone in the group. You turned on your heels and almost coughed up your beer.

It was Joel, of course.

Standing at the threshold of the breezeway like a surly, disconcerted parent, of all things, watching you like he’d just caught you red-handed in the most horrific of acts.

Clutched in one hand was a Burger King takeout bag.

“Daddy. Hi,” you breathed.

Apparently your attempt at casual came across more slurred than anything else, because Joel stepped closer.

‘Let’s go’ was all he said. No accusations, no threats, no outward displays of emotion found anywhere on his face. Just a gruff ‘Let’s go,’ and a free hand reaching for yours.

Instinctively, you recoiled.

“We’re just talking,” you said, gesturing behind you. If you could have seen the uniform looks of discomfort and agita, damn near treading on fear, among them all, you probably wouldn’t have bothered.

“Good. Now you’re leaving,” Joel supplied in a moment.

He was blissfully indifferent. Asserting his will in a space where, less than one hour ago, he couldn’t bear to share a room with you, much less impart a shred of dignity or care to your condition. He had nerve, that was for sure.

“I’m not leaving,” you said, a touch more venom in your voice than you intended.

Joel raised both eyebrows.

“No?”

His expression, directed to you, was infuriating.

“Fuck no,” you answered.

A few of the guys behind you sucked in a breath as if to say, ‘Okaaaaay, time to go!’ but then Joel pressed,

“For someone who wants to be treated like an adult—”

“Adult?” you scoffed, “You treat me plenty like an adult, Joel. Just whenever the designation suits your needs, huh?”

No one moved.

Well, Joel flinched a bit. Then he squeezed your wrist.

Truly, you never failed to underestimate the man’s brute strength when it came to carrying you off at will—but there you were, being yanked behind the big, bad Joel Miller as he hauled you off to who-knows-where. You scowled but didn’t bother to steal a glance behind you at the beer, boys, or vending machine treats you were being forced to abandon. All you could do was stare a hole through Joel’s skull and tug back—largely ineffectually.

“You’re an ass,” you spat, digging your heels into the gravel terrain as he pulled you along.

“You’re a brat,” he fired back.

In a minute, the exterior of Room 102 was coming into view; Joel was practically toting your ass like a knapsack.

“You just abandoned me back here, Miller. You— you don’t get to pretend like you give a fuck now.”

“I was getting you Burger King, for Christ’s sake.”

Joel was fiddling with the lock now. Simultaneously juggling your hand, the paper bag, and a set of keys that didn’t seem keen on cooperating, he huffed, disgruntled.

“Even got you those—” Joel grunted, thrusting his shoulder into the door, “—fuckin’ curly fries you wanted.”

Your jaw slackened. That was supposed to make it okay?

“Joel, FUCK your curly fries!” you cried, “Are you seriously still trying to play good guy right now?”

“If that’s what you—”

“No. You don’t get to tonguefuck your friend’s daughter and buy her a goddamn Double Whopper and act like it’s all good. Sure as hell don’t get to dictate who I talk to.”

Like he had before, Joel cringed to hear your crude language—particularly as it related to what he had done to you but didn’t seem capable of owning up to just yet. You couldn’t bear another second of that look.

“Fuck this. I’m sleeping in the car,” you grumbled.

You thrashed your arm out of Joel’s hold and started off in the other direction. Picked up your pace when you heard the bag of fast food drop to the ground and Joel trotting after you. Calling your name.

Even at your most brisk, you knew you couldn’t outstrip those big, beefy legs of his. He gained on you in seconds.

So you took off running.

Joel gripped his side, thinking, ‘Aw, hell’ before breaking out in a sprint just as fast.

You were pissed at how far he’d parked this time around. You caught sight of the old Bronco perched a ways away from your room and almost opted to change course on the spot, to the front office—maybe dive behind the counter and beg that poor old woman to give you another place to stay—but you kept at it, anyway. For once, you were glad to have had Joel beat by so many years, because the man’s endurance was, evidently, shit.

“Hey, s— stop!” Joel shouted after you.

Fat chance, Miller.

You closed in on the car. Joel rarely ever locked it.

Your hand secured a grip on the door and jerked it back. It swung right open.

Just as Joel was pulling up the rear, you had the driver’s side slammed shut and your palm laid flat on the door lock knob—shoving the little black lever down each time Joel tried to unlock the car.

It was a fruitless endeavor, you knew; you couldn’t keep the man out all night so long as he had the car keys in his hands. You could piss him off some more, though.

“You won the fucking game, just take the bed!” you said, straining against the door with your weight pressed hard on that knob. Joel was furiously working to get it open.

“I mean it, Joel, I-I don’t wanna sleep in there wi— shit.”

You leapt back in your seat as Joel flung the door wide open. You scrambled across the center console, made a desperate grasp at the passenger door to climb out the other side, but your ankle was taken between two hands. Just as you tried to slink out on the opposite end of the vehicle, Joel pulled you right back in. Flipped the center console up so you were sprawled flat across the bucket seat at the front of his car and pinned underneath him.

Then he pulled you over his lap.

Not into it—nestled on top of his crotch, with your ass pointing up in the air. Joel’s big ass Carhartt jacket was bunching up around your torso, collar crowding you up to the chin. Your twisted just far enough to meet his gaze.

“What do you want from me?” Joel demanded, “What?”

You stared up at him, poring over your options in the span of what seemed like two milliseconds. Wondering, silently, why he wasn’t touching you anywhere.

“I want you to fuck me, Joel,” you replied at length.

Seated between driver’s side and shotgun, Joel looked perfectly unperturbed, raking a hand through his silver-flecked hair and letting his gaze trail up to the ceiling, as if considering something of grave importance.

“And what after that?” he asked, still staring at the roof.

Before you could reply, though, he was forging ahead,

“What happens when I can’t even look your dad in the eye knowin’ I’ve been balls deep in his little girl, and every fuckin’ time I’m over at your house or you’re over at mine, I’ll be thinkin’— no, dreamin’ of what it was like to have you wrapped around my cock, screamin’ my name and takin’ it so deep inside you like I know ya want it?”

You paused a beat. Had to bat your eyes a couple times to rid your head of those filthy thoughts he’d planted.

“We could, uh— fuck…then…too,” you ventured quietly.

Joel grinned at the spot he was watching, humorless.

“That easy, huh?” he mumbled.

Again, before you could speak, Joel continued,

“I can’t even cum with you on my mind,” he said, and for a split second you thought that might mean he wasn’t attracted to you in that way, when he swallowed hard and closed his eyes, “I’ve tried beating off twice today—in the bathroom and as soon as I left earlier—and I can’t…even get close with you here. You fuck with my head.”

You fuck with my head.

Without meaning to, your hips stirred over his, and Joel audibly groaned. At last, he dropped a palm to your ass and gave it a taut smack, and your whole lower half reverberated with the sensation—and a welt of pleasure.

“You think I want it to be like this?” Joel said, voice strained, fingers kneading over the flesh he’d just struck, “Think I enjoy havin’ the biggest set’a fuckin’ blue balls known to man whenever I’m around ya, honey?”

You winced when you were spanked again, letting out a whimper into the seat’s charcoal-colored upholstery.

“I can help with that,” you hissed, feeling him massage the spot once more. You arched your back into his touch.

“No. You’d make it worse,” Joel shook his head, “Once I get a feel inside this sweet cunt I’ll never wanna stop.”

At the soft rumble of his words, you felt yourself growing aroused. Noticeably so. Your skin broke out in broad swaths of gooseflesh every place he touched, and in the wake of those hands grew a pool of dull warmth. Sticky, slick, soak-straight-through-your-shorts sort of warmth.

Joel’s hand hovered about an inch from the source.

“We’d get bored eventually. It’d be fine,” you said, words crawling off of your parched tongue with some difficulty now. That faint, heady feeling from before had become a high, finally, and it seemed every sense you possessed was ablaze with desire. You were barely able to breathe, much less speak, but there you went, rambling anyway,

“Soon enough, you’ll get over the thrill of screwing me, and I’ll find a nice, polite, age-appropriate boy to spend the rest of my life having nice, polite sex with, and we can both pretend like this never happened. Deal?”

It was quite possibly the dumbest offer you’d ever made.

Joel slotted his hand between your legs to rub against that dampened patch of fabric. You almost jumped.

“Yeah? Just fuck around and forget about it?” Joel spoke, and you truly couldn’t tell if it was a sneer or real sincerity, as your eyes were squeezing shut, “Is that all you want from me, sugar?”

His fingers slipped beneath your shorts and made swift, easy contact with your heat. You buried your face in the seat and tried to muffle the sounds that were clawing their way out of your chest, while your hips tilted up.

“Please, Joel,” you whimpered.

By now, your head was spinning, in a daze, that you almost didn’t notice him tug your shorts down your legs. Or take them off at your ankles. You did get a sense of when he was breaching your folds—taking two, meaty fingers and trailing them up the slick glaze of your cunt.

“Doesn’t seem like this pussy wants ‘nice and polite’ to me,” Joel murmured, eyes gradually fastening to that lovely, exposed spot pointed up to him. He wet his lips, “Needs somethin’ else, doesn’t she, darlin’?”

Speaking of your pussy in third-person wasn’t something you ever thought could be hot, but coming from Joel? While his fingers traced up and down the seal of your entrance, tips circling your tight, hot, throbbing hole? Arousing didn’t even begin to cover it.

You pushed your ass back, and Joel chuckled above you.

“Wanna fuck daddy’s fingers? Is that it?” he taunted.

No, no, no—you wanted his cock buried inside you. But now you just needed reprieve from that ache, and your senses were practically on the fritz trying to get it.

Your hips rocked back and forth over his fingers—sliding the two digits in and out of your cunt with each motion—and, as much as Joel would’ve liked to make you beg and wait a little, your desperate pleas as you fucked his hand were more than enough to satiate him. He worked his free arm under your body and pinched hard on one nipple, eliciting a soft moan of ‘Joel’ underneath him.

“Oh, baby,” he breathed, watching you rut your hips for more friction, “That’s it, baby, fuck daddy’s fingers. Use my hand to make yourself feel good— that’s my girl.”

At the last, you probably could’ve cum on the spot, and Joel could tell by the way you clenched around him. He nudged a third finger between your plush, sensitive walls and heard your moans take on an even higher pitch.

“Hurts,” you whimpered, with no real indication of pain. You just felt stretched out, stuffed, and aching again. The only ‘hurt’ was not having even more of him in you, “Need more of you daddy, please. It hurts.”

Joel wanted to see you cum on his fingers. He really did. But when you got down to begging and pleading for his cock like that, the man’s whole heartbeat throbbed in his jeans, and he simply didn’t possess the resolve to refuse.

He hoisted you upright in his lap so you were straddling his hips. The fabric of his jacket hung loose off your frame and both of your arms as you latched around him.

“Are you high?” Joel asked, voice evening out all of a sudden to pin you with a serious look.

“Yeah.”

“How high?”

“I can consent, Joel.” Your thighs tightened around his sides, and your hips had already begun to stir.

“Not just can consent—do consent. Do you want this?” Joel’s hands moved from the small of your back to cup your face. You gave him a squished-together pout.

“Yes, I want this,” you managed through pinched cheeks. When Joel released you, you lowered your own hands to the buckle of his belt.

It felt foreign and familiar at once—this age-old ritual of fumbling for each other’s clothes and wrestling to get them off, like your bodies might catch fire if you didn’t act fast enough. Joel was a tad more graceful as he shrugged his jacket off of you, peeled your tank top off, and helped you maneuver your bare limbs around him. You, on the other hand, felt half-feral and every bit the wide-eyed novice while you stripped his body garment by garment and wordlessly told him just leave the jeans, I can’t wait another fucking second. Joel bit back a grin and had to steady you above him, feeling his cock twitch against his tummy but still slowing down enough to remind you, shhh, shhh, honey, it ain’t goin’ nowhere.

You had a tough time remembering that as you rubbed your wet centre over his shaft. Feeling so good you feared the feeling might escape any second, you whined.

“I know, baby, I know,” Joel cooed as your head fell in the crook of his neck, “Still hurtin’ somethin’ awful, hm?”

The tip of his cock just barely grazed over your clit and you buried your face even deeper, nodding furiously; Joel leaned forward to grab some item out of the glove compartment behind you and braced your body to him.

He tore something with his teeth. You craned your neck just slightly.

“Don’t laugh,” Joel muttered, voice momentarily stifled by bright, metallic wrapping.

“Is that…” You straightened up enough to cock a brow at him. Joel’s tongue rolled across the inside of his cheek.

“Cobwebs and all.”

Beneath your gaze was the flimsiest, dust-ridden, damn-near vintage condom—a decade old, at least.

“You buy that before or after the Great Depression?” you teased.

“Shut up.” Joel was already working it onto his dick.

“So Prohibition-coded.”

“I can find something to shove in that mouth, y’know.”

You were having too much fun at the old man’s expense, blissfully unaware that Joel was about one Gen X joke away from making you suck three of his arousal-soaked fingers. When you opened your mouth to speak—to try another wisecrack or else question the integrity of this ancient relic of a rubber—Joel crashed his lips against yours and made you mute with his tongue instead.

At the same time, he slowly eased himself inside you.

Your mouth fell open when you sank down on his length, fully, but no sound came out. You just gripped Joel’s shoulders and peered into his face as if to say, ‘Shit.’

No way any man was ever meant to feel this good.

No shot your walls were fitting his cock like a glove.

Joel soaked in your gaping, wordless stare with a nod.

“Good?”

“Great.”

You’d give all eight inches of the man a goddamn standing ovation if your legs weren’t feeling like jelly. Joel let out a small grunt when you clenched around him.

“Nice and…easy,” he said, as much to himself as to you. He pinched your hip in one gigantic hand and held you there, “Let ya take a second and adjust, alright, darlin’?”

“But Joel—” you whined, already trying to slide back up.

His grip kept you impaled on his dick, anchored in place. With the other hand, he brought a thumb to your clit.

“Just feel me, sweet pea,” Joel said, slow and languid as molasses while he touched you, “Ain’t gonna hurt ya.”

You couldn’t be sure if the man was a sadist or the world’s biggest fan of cockwarming—or just polite.

The bare, slightly-less-sexy truth was that Joel hadn’t done this in a very, very long time. Even the sex he’d had, close to a year ago, was something more of a flashbang than a bona fide carnal experience; he’d just bent a perfect stranger over the bathroom sink and drilled her. This was a fever dream, a first to end all firsts, and at present, Joel felt himself toeing a razor-thin line between self-restraint and bliss by just your presence alone.

In short, he didn’t want to fuck it up by busting too soon.

When you rolled your hips and squeezed your eyes shut above him, well, Joel almost fell into a panic.

Think of golf. Differential equations. The weather in Kuwait. Anything to get his mind off of how tight your pussy was holding him in, how lithe your body worked to grind above him while he sat there, so helpless and—

“Big,” you whined, stretched to the fullest you’d ever been. Unable to bounce up and down like you wanted but still squirming for more friction, “So big, daddy.”

Hockey. Geometry. Wind patterns around the Maldives. He held you even tighter, but your motions were growing desperate. You had to start moving.

“Joel, please,” you begged him.

“Baby, I’m—”

About to cum. I am two seconds away from cumming.

“Need you now, need you so—” your voice broke off in a moan as you sank your nails into his muscly shoulders, “So bad, daddy, please, please, please—”

On the seat beside you both, your phone lit up, buzzing:

Dad 💙

Fuck.

FUCK.

Your eyes locked on Joel’s in a shared look of panic and horror, and for once, your bodies stopped, perfectly still.

You knew your dad too well. Just as much as Joel did.

Your father wasn’t the type to call late at night unless something was up. And he wouldn’t stop calling until someone picked up.

“Should we…?” That whisper came from you.

Joel was frozen in fear, eyes now glued to the screen.

“Just…give it a sec,” he breathed, “Might be nothing.”

But his tone couldn’t mask the dread behind his words. He gritted his teeth and watched the phone ring.

It stopped.

Then started again.

The pair of you clung to one other in the old Ford’s bucket seat like your dad might veritably hear the two of you having sex from 1,300 miles away if you moved.

It stopped once more.

The screen stayed black.

You let out a small sigh and felt your eyes start to close.

Then the trill of a ringtone under Joel’s ass started up the second they’d fluttered shut, and suddenly your gaze was wide, and frightened, and freaking the fuck out when you realized that your dad was trying to reach Joel.

“Answer,” you hissed.

“What?!” The whites of Joel’s eyes were bigger now than you’d ever seen them.

“He’ll know something’s up! Just—” you slipped your hand under Joel’s rear, completely devoid of any sexual insinuation this time, and yanked his old iPhone 6 out of his pants, “Answer it. Now. Be cool.”

Joel’s expression was still paralyzed with terror, but he brought the ringing phone to his ear anyway. Gingerly tapped ‘answer’ once you’d smacked him on the bicep.

“He-e-y man.”

You were so fucking dead.

Your face hovered mere inches away, and you could almost hear the warble of your father’s voice on the line.

“Great,” Joel answered, stilted as a puppet with someone’s hand up its ass, “So good. How are you?”

A beat.

“She’s good, she’s good.”

For a moment, Joel’s gaze flitted to the spot where your bodies were still connected and you saw a flash of desire, followed by guilt, then his head tip back to close his eyes as he tried to concentrate on the conversation at hand.

“In the bathroom…Uh-huh…Phone must be dead…”

“No, she’s been a trooper—just fine…”

“Somewhere just shy’a Bedford, I think…”

You listened to Joel drone on and clench his jaw, and every now and then you’d feel a squelch in that tiny space between you two when one of you moved, and it occurred to you then that it probably was not in your best interest to stay seated on his dick while he talked. You shifted your legs underneath yourself to get up.

When you started to slide up Joel’s shaft—the first time you’d ever really moved, mind you—you felt a knot in your tummy start to tighten. The friction was to die for.

You sank back down and heard a hoarse little cry spill out from your lips before you got the chance to swallow it.

At the same time, Joel groaned. Then stopped himself. Then coughed—profusely.

“Sorry, just got a little—” Suddenly, a fiery set of eyes were searing holes in your head, angry as they were desperate, “—tickle in my throat is all.”

You ignored the strained Southern drawl and the eyes that looked ready to put a bullet between your own, and you rocked your hips again. The sensation was just too good. Your body practically acted of its own accord, and suddenly you were bouncing up and down in Joel’s lap.

The man beneath you looked enraged. Aroused.

Ready to wring your neck and maybe spit in your mouth.

“World’s movin’ too. damn. fast,” Joel seethed, trying to communicate to you semi-covertly while you rode his cock, “She’s one hell of a— firecracker, man, I’ll tell ya.”

You heard your dad’s laughter on the other end. While the sound subsided to chuckles, Joel grabbed your neck. He covered the mouthpiece for a second, then, in a murmur,

“This is not a fucking game.”

He squeezed your throat so tight you probably could’ve lost all circulation going to your head, but you smiled.

In spite of the hot, glowing embers of pleasure taking shape at the pit of your stomach and the coil that kept twisting and swelling inside, you grinned down at him. Then you mouthed, softly, ‘Yes, it is,’ and you rocked your hips against him even harder.

Joel drew in a breath through his teeth and watched you ride him with bleary, half-hooded eyes—keeping one hand on your carotid as the other hand cradled the phone to his ear. The man was transfixed.

By the pinch of just one set of fingers, you knew you were done for. A dwindling supply of oxygen, combined with your high and the hundreds of nerve-endings being brushed by Joel’s cock every other moment, you were spiraling toward release and didn’t know how to stop it.

When Joel pursed his lips and lifted his hips to start fucking up into you, you had to let go. Couldn’t hold on. You grabbed hold of his forearm, still hovering across your throat, and you moaned as the bliss washed over you. You slid your needy lower half back and forth, squeezed that tanned, tough arm practically bulging with veins above you, and you came around Joel’s cock. You whimpered his name, again and again, feeling him stroke your walls and fuck you through a euphoric high.

The next thing you felt was the seat cushion behind you—and the shift of Joel’s body weight pinning you down.

His cock hadn’t slipped an inch when he flipped you over; his grip was still secure on the phone.

The only thing that had changed was that look: malicious and vindictive with the hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Joel felt you pulse around him, starting to come down from your high, and he just decided to fuck you even harder.

“Shouldn’t be much longer now…” Joel hummed aloud, lowering a hand to your throbbing clit and muttering a soft ‘Uh-huh’ to your father while you clawed at his wrist.

“Joel,” you choked.

Now the feeling was too much. You were still so wet, raw, and sensitive that the pad of his thumb almost drew a shriek from your chest when he moved his finger in circles. You heard them chat about football. Joel shared a short, strained laugh with the man on the other end and pretended not to hear your whines as he continued to rail you senseless in the front seat of his car.

With the diversion of the phone call keeping his own climax at bay, Joel was free to fuck you as rough as he pleased—and couldn’t be more in awe seeing you veer close to the edge, again.

“Please, daddy, please,” you beseeched him, tears springing to your eyes as Joel’s thrusts kept shaking you.

He just shook his head and smiled as if to say, ‘Hold still.’

“It’ll be fine,” he said, “Mahomes is next-level. Best they can do is keep their heads down and take it, y’know?”

Your own soft, aching hole was taking the beating of a lifetime, and somehow, you managed to meet Joel’s gaze with a look that almost struck him as loving. That blissed-out, cockdrunk look of pure debauchery crossing your eyes in a way he hadn’t come to find in ages, if ever, was intoxicating. He felt the first fluttering pulses of your orgasm squeeze around him again, and suddenly he was pumping you faster, drilling you harder, gripping your throat and starting to sense his own climax draw near.

He couldn’t finish off like this.

Not talking shop and Super Bowl to your father—no.

Joel had to do something you might rightly hate him for for the rest of your life, and never forget, or forgive.

He lowered the phone, and right before he did, said,

“She just stepped outta the bathroom, actually. No, yeah, she’s right here. Wanna say hello?”

Your heart skipped a beat and nearly jumped into your throat. You tried to shake your head—fast—and even went so far as to try and dodge the phone when Joel brought it down to your ear, but that motherfucker had a grip like you couldn’t believe and wouldn’t stop stroking inside you or holding you down. You hated that you found Joel’s total dominance and control…kind of hot.

You flashed him the most nasty, bratty, ‘I’ll get you for this, Joel’ look you could muster anyway, and when he pressed the phone to your cheek, you mouthed a few more silent expletives before changing your air entirely:

“Hey, dad!”

Joel knew he was cooked from the second you said hello. Something objectively malevolent inside him got a rush to hear you speak to your dad in such a contrived, high-pitched tone of voice, knowing the unspeakable things he was doing to your body the whole fucking time. He could focus, now, with no need for any strained civilities of his own, but deep down, he knew it wouldn’t last long. He would not last long.

Might as well make it fun while it lasts.

“He…did,” you hummed, flitting your eyes up to Joel when he brushed your lower lip with his thumb—still holding the phone up for you while he rutted into you, “No, nuh-uh…Mr…Mr. Miller didn’t mind, no sir.”

Shit, the sound of you saying ‘sir’ was something that made Joel’s whole body lurch with pleasure. He made a mental note to have you call him that later and stroked your lip once more.

You tried to turn your face away—telling Joel, wordlessly, that you couldn’t keep up this conversation with your father if you had a thumb in your fucking mouth, but Joel didn’t care. He watched you pause for a moment, let just the tip of his finger press into your tongue, then, battling your better judgment, wrap your lips around the digit almost cautiously and suck. He knew you liked it, too.

He knew it by the way you bobbed your head, hummed, and nodded every time he thrust inside your aching walls and dragged his cock back out. The way your teeth clamped hard on his thumb whenever he grazed a particularly sensitive spot and how your lips held him in like a gag, or some other thing to keep you quiet amidst the moans and the whimpers bubbling up in your chest.

Suddenly, Joel was at your other ear, lips grazing skin and tongue praising your every move.

“My sweet girl.”

“Doin’ such a good job stayin’ quiet.”

“Takin’ daddy’s cock so well, aren’t ya, darlin’?”

From that point on, every single one of your father’s words over the phone fell on deaf ears—all you could hear was Joel. All you could feel was Joel. Your lips parted as if starting to speak, but all that would come out were small puffs of air, perfectly in sync with each one of Joel’s thrusts.

“You okay, hon? You sound…distracted,” your dad pressed. A hint of concern rose from his end of the line.

At length, Joel gripped both of your legs and brought them up over his shoulders, and he grinned before kissing your ankle and shoving his cock even deeper.

“Yes!” you yelped as you crushed the phone to your ear, hoping your father couldn’t hear any of the filthy sounds down below, “Just a little stretched—I mean stressed out, is all.”

The sick, smug fuck currently wedged eight inches deep inside you almost burst out laughing. If you weren’t so perilously close to your fourth orgasm of the night, you would’ve told Joel to take a long walk off a short bridge.

“Just worried about grades a-a-and all,” you stammered.

Joel leaned forward and almost tore a scream out of your chest—his tip was kissing the edge of your cervix now.

“Yes, sir. I will.” You tried your hardest not to whine and almost let out a sigh, “I’ll…ask him about it, for sure.”

As bone-crushingly fun as this all was, Joel was close.

He could feel it in the furthest recesses of his stomach; he was about to blow his load.

So, leveraging his weight to strike just the right angle and pushing his thumb in to stifle your moans, Joel sped up and drew even closer, face-to-face, so he could see your every expression from a hair’s breadth away.

He was so near he could hear your dad’s droning voice. See you struggle to take cock the closer you got to your release. You hadn’t cum in such quick succession…ever, really. All but one of the guys you’d let between your legs before seemed like amateurs compared to Joel, and to be honest, you weren’t sure if you could make it to four.

You popped his thumb out of your mouth and mumbled some ‘Sure, okay’ or other to your dad before casting a pleading look up at Joel. His hips were working up to a ruthless pace.

You covered the mouthpiece.

“I can’t, Joel.”

“Sure you can, sugar.”

“Joel,” you hissed, and tried to grab his wrist, when you felt your stomach start to cave. Every exposed inch of skin gave way to waves of heat, and your toes curled in. Worst of all, Joel was letting out sounds you hadn’t ever heard—short, ragged breaths that broke off in low groans—and it felt as though he were cradling your head. Holding you to him. Your eyes were locked on one another, your mouths practically panting in time, and what parts of you had not yet become commingled with him were practically coated with sweat. And shaking.

Then, in tones that rang like music to your ears:

“Alright, I’ll let ya head to bed, then. G’night, pumpkin.”

Your dad hadn’t even fully hung up the phone before you flung it across the car. Heels dug deep in Joel’s back.

“Cum for daddy,” Joel coaxed, “Cum all over this cock.”

You didn’t need much more instigation than that.

You came. He followed.

And it probably split his eardrum in two having his name screamed so fucking loud, but frankly, Joel hadn’t seen a reason for going deaf that he could’ve enjoyed so much.

Then, he didn’t sink so much as simply collapse on top of you while you both kicked back and let the waves of ecstasy roll over you. You adored his warmth in spite of the heat practically suffocating you both in that car.

Until it was in you.

Sticky, sweet dripping inside you.

You pushed Joel hard in the shoulder.

“Did it…”

“What?”

“Joel!”

You flipped your legs down and tapped his abdomen furiously, telling him, pull out, pull out right fucking now, and Joel gently obliged. Dragged his cock three-fourths of the way out when a frail, tattered condom came loose around the head of his cock and almost fell off entirely. That damn prehistoric rubber had broken inside you.

“JOEL!”

“I’m sorry! Fuck, I— fuck.”

Joel scrambled to get his cum-drenched cock and what remained of the condom away from your body, but the damage was done. You started throwing on clothes.

“I’m ovulating this week, I am so fucking fucked!”

Joel swallowed, shimmying his boxers and jeans back into place and scoping the front seat for his shirt.

“What’s…ovulating?”

You wanted to tear your hair out at the root.

There was no way this man had survived half a century on earth and didn’t understand the menstrual cycle.

“It means I can get pregnant if we don’t get a Plan B up in this bitch immediately. Let’s GO!”

That part seemed to click. Joel almost fell over himself trying to find his keys, while you slid out of the Bronco.

“Where are you going?!”

“To— to try and get some of this shit out of me first!”

Joel bounded after you, and within the first steps, you were sprinting across the parking lot. Your sweaty, half-naked companion tried—and failed—to slow you down.

“Are you not on birth control?” Joel huffed.

“Are you not capable of buying condoms more than once every fucking decade—or three?” you snapped.

Your strides were growing wider and more frantic by the second. Joel clutched his side and struggled to keep up.

“I’m…sorry,” he grunted, more embarrassed and worn-out than anything at the moment, “I’m sorry, darlin’.”

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t get your cum out of me, daddy.”

Your words couldn’t have gotten any more caustic or merciless—or inopportune—if you tried.

As it was, you were passing by the breezeway where all the bored lacrosse players were still lounging around, cracking cold ones, and craning their necks to see what the fuss outside was all about. The sounds of your feet racing fast on gravel and you and Joel’s raucous, bickering back-and-forth had caught their attention, and shortly, Connor was sticking his head around the corner. His expression—along with all the faces behind him—had twisted with horror. Confusion. A visible look of disgust.

Joel had just slowed down to catch his breath. He doubled over and braced both hands on his knees.

“I’ll fuckin’…duct tape my dick next time I hit it, honey!” he wheezed, barely loud enough for you to hear but perfectly audible to all the terrified guys around him.

Joel turned his head and almost groaned.

Then he was straightening himself back up, starting to retreat from the group who had him pinned with genuinely frightened—and nauseated—looks.

Joel normally wouldn’t care. This time, though, he threw his hands up and thought, fuck it, I’ll clear the air.

Over his shoulder, he grinned, yelling back to the guys:

“I’m not actually her dad!”

All of them stared back. Half-jealous, half-awestruck, Connor stood up, raised his beer, and called after him:

“I SURE FUCKIN’ HOPE YOU’RE NOT!”

---

Diehard

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel tries Viagra for the very first time.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Erectile dysfunction. Daddy kink. Praise kink if you squint. Overstimulation. Cumplay. She/her pussy pronouns. Pushing physical limits with a pre-negotiated safe word in place for it.

Note: No more limp dick erasure. We die like [old] men.

Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse | Word count: 986

Joel just wanted to prove he could fuck like he used to.

He didn’t think he’d almost kill you in the process.

“JOEL!” you screeched, heels digging deep in the mattress as your climax came in seismic waves.

The stimulation was insane. Normally the much-older man would have been down for the count after two—and usually one—big O, but now his chest was heaving, hips relentlessly beating a punishing pace against your own.

Your walls were slick with not only your cum but his, milky ropes of his arousal making for an obscene set of sounds every time his dick slid in and out of your cunt. You could feel his balls tighten and twitch with every forthcoming spurt of him, practically reeling with the pulse of each new sticky gift inside you. His groans rumbled low, but the power and pleasure and outright primal fervor they conveyed were unmistakeable. You had to look down, feebly, to believe it yourself—Joel never fucked his way through your orgasm and his.

Then you felt a palm slide up the back of your head, and Joel held it up to make sure you watched him fuck you.

“J-Joel,” you whimpered, watching his girth disappear and reappear at least a half-dozen times as you did.

“Just a little more, honey,” he murmured against your forehead. The smack of each thrust was dizzying, “Want my pretty girl nice and full’a me before she leaves, okay?”

Joel never could let you head back to college without a few of his loads and a head full of filthy memories—something to hold you over until your next visit home. You would’ve liked to mumble back, ‘Okay,’ but then your pussy clenched around him, and his thrusts grew faster.

“My sweet girl,” he grinned, “She likes that, huh?”

You could scarcely manage a nod. The weight of your head was held fully by him, and if that wasn’t indicative enough of your fucked-out state, your face surely said the rest. When Joel leaned back to adjust the angle of his thrusts, he caught sight of your hooded, glossy stare and almost came all over again. He slowed his pace for once.

Then he dipped a finger between your body and his, just long enough to douse the tip of his digit with cum. He bottomed out inside you, watched you part your lips in a gentle gasp, and pressed his touch to that open space.

It was almost like you didn’t have the strength to suck. You just let him smear the sticky stuff along your lower lip, gaze plastered to his. Then Joel’s cock sank deeper.

“O-ow!” you whined, partly reanimated by the stretch.

“You can take it,” Joel grunted.

The double entendre wasn’t lost on you. You could, and would, take his finger and his cock inside. You suckled dumbly on the cum-drenched fingertip in assent.

But when Joel’s finger popped out of your mouth and his thrusts picked back up, you weren’t entirely convinced you would be able to hold up the second half of that deal.

It wasn’t fair. He took one magic pill, and poof, his dick stayed hard for half the fucking day. You had nothing but your youth and two shaking legs to ensure your survival. When Joel worked his cock back and forth a couple more times and it seemed your body was about ready to scream, you took hold of his biceps and squeezed tight.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

The tip of his cock nicked a soft ridge inside you, and you jolted back. Joel’s palm was still pressed to your head, holding you to him, and his hips had you pinned as well.

Instead of answering, you whimpered.

You didn’t want him to stop, but you also weren’t sure if you could handle any more. Your eyes met his, pleading.

“Can’t what?” Joel pressed, a little more sternly.

Another whimper. Inside, Joel’s cock was rubbing that pleasure point raw, and you felt another climax coming.

“Use your words.”

“Too— too—”

Each new thrust was sending stars before your eyes. Joel was one sick man if he tried to make you talk while he fucked you past the point of all intelligible speech.

“Too what? Tell me, baby.”

You’d get that fucker back someday. Joel just grinned.

“Too much,” you hissed when his hips delivered another mind-numbing push. Then, feeling pleasure threaten to peak at almost a painful degree, “Toomuchtoomucht—”

Joel continued thrusting, knowing damn well you knew what to say if you really wanted him to stop. As if to underscore this point, he tipped your head back and made you hold his gaze, features creased with a frown.

“That sure don’t sound like the safe word to me.”

It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t. He didn’t need to tell you twice, or even breathe a second word besides. With one more brush of Joel’s thick, throbbing, implausibly hard cock, he sent you over the edge and into your fourth orgasm of the morning, hitting that spot again and again.

And again.

And again.

Just like before, Joel fucked you through each wave, catching your lips this time to stifle your cries. You might’ve gone blind for a second or two, but that was alright; the pleasure, proximity, and then the sweet, erratic pulse of his cock sending rope after rope of his cum deep inside made the overstimulation worthwhile.

Your body went limp against the bed, held tight in Joel’s grasp, when you felt that sickly sweet dichotomy of soft, tender touches and a cock lodged between your walls that was as hard as it had ever been. Still trying to console you with kisses, still trying to warm you up for another round, perhaps, Joel almost laughed out loud in your mouth when you groaned into his and whispered:

“Please don’t ever take that fucking pill again.”

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Hot for Teacher

damn🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

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this pic is soo dbf!joel coded

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I’ve never seen somebody so sad

And so depressed

And so lonely

Who’s also so sexy

And slays so hard

Keep being yourself

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DBF Joel barbecuing dinner on the beach 🏖️ looking all annoyed cuz I asked for an extra large sausage 🤷🏻‍♀️

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