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The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 1 - New Arrivals
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.6k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
chapter warnings: childbirth (mentioned)
Chapter 1 - New Arrivals
The first time you met Joel, he stank like shit. Literally, he smelled like he had rolled in it. You issued him soap, and sent him on his way. That was a loss to Jackson’s ledgers you were more than willing to take.
The second time, he smelled better. Unremarkable mostly, more of a neutral scent tinged with man smell around the edges. Nothing to write home about. Still, you issued him deodorant. Couldn’t take any chances.
He requested bullets, a basic first aid kit, and warm clothing. With Maria’s approval, you made the relevant deductions and issued the items at hand. You even sprung for wool socks. With a winter like this, he could use all the help he could get.
“You’re headed south, right?” you asked him as he packed a worn duffel bag.
“Colorado,” he replied. You waited, but that’s all he gave you. Guess he didn’t feel like elaborating.
“What about the girl, she need anything?”
He considered the offer, then asked, “You got any pens, pencils or anything? Notebooks? She likes to keep track of things, take notes. Draw, mostly,” he trailed off, scrubbing a hand over his face, “And we’re almost out of paper.”
You smiled at that. A girl after your own heart . “I’ll see what I can scrounge up.”
* * *
You asked Tommy about him, once the two of them were gone. He didn’t have much to say.
“Barely talked to the girl. Probably know about as much about her as you do. Joel… Well, Joel’s an enigma.”
You rolled your eyes at that. “Come on, Tommy. I’m asking for the basics, not his social security number.”
Tommy sighed. “He’s brash, he’s protective, he’s opinionated… I don’t know what much else to tell you. He’s just Joel. One of those people you gotta get to know just by knowing ‘em, I guess.”
You blinked twice. “Supremely helpful, Tommy.”
* * *
The next time you met Joel, he smelled better but looked worse. You only half-remembered his eyes, but something in them last time had been warmer. The ones you saw now were… dead, almost. Like something within them had been destroyed. Whether he’d been the one to do the destroying or it had been done to him remained to be seen.
You’d seen him and the girl with Tommy and Maria in the dining hall that first time they’d come to town, wolfing down chili like they’d just discovered, well, chili. They ate slower now, both of them, not like they weren’t in a rush but like their heads were elsewhere. The girl seemed to stare into nowhere—not all the time, but it was distinct when she did it.
Joel didn’t zone out. No, if anything he was zoned in . On that poor girl who had been so full of life just months ago, now hollowed out like far too many others. You’d see about filling her back up later. But for now, he was the one that perplexed you. Why was he so focused on her? What had happened out there? Part of you never wanted to find out, but part of you really, really did.
Regardless, she needed new shoes. So you joined them. The man stopped mid-chew, looking up at you with trepidation.
“Hi,” you smiled, “glad you two made it back in one piece.”
“Me too,” he replied, turning his attention back to his cud. You couldn’t tell if that was supposed to be a joke or not. You turned your attention to the girl.
“You’re Ellie, right? I’m Doe. Or that’s what most folks around here call me, anyway.”
“Doe?” She cocked an eyebrow. “Like a deer?”
“A female deer,” you winked back at her. She stared at you blankly.
“It’s a song,” Joel muttered to her softly, “from before.”
“Oh,” Ellie nodded. The silence dragged, but thankfully you came prepared.
“Cobbler?” you offered bowls to each of them. It was fresh from the oven, still steaming and smelling of cinnamon.
“Yes, please!” Ellie yanked the bigger bowl towards herself, broccoli forgotten. She got a few bites in before Joel intervened, pulling the sugar aside and reinstating the vegetables. The girl frowned at that, but his pointed look said not to bother arguing. So she didn’t.
“Don’t worry, it’ll still be hot in a minute.” You tucked into your own cobbler, savoring the warm sweetness as it glided across your tongue. Even in Jackson, it was a delicacy. But it was spring, and the cherries were here. And you’d accounted for everything.
“Did you want something?” Joel asked, finishing his own plate and reaching for the cobbler.
“Ellie needs new shoes.”
“We’ve got it handled,” he said.
“Do you, though? You haven’t got much to trade with, and we’ve got plenty in inventory. That’s kind of what it’s there for. Why suffer blisters when communism’s got your back?”
“Can I?” Ellie’s face lit up. You liked seeing her eyes like that: brighter. They belonged that way.
Joel swallowed his cobbler, mulling over the idea. “After lunch,” he agreed, nodding to the eager teen. “Finish your cobbler first.”
* * *
Ellie’s new light-up sneakers lit the way as you exited the storeroom through your office. Joel had insisted on a sensible pair as well, but you couldn’t deny the kid a little whimsy.
“Maria give you your patrol schedule yet?” you asked him, nodding to the well-worn chalkboard in the corner. Routes on the left, days and times up top. Names filled in the boxes in between, a testament to your logistical wizardry.
“Not yet,” he said, crossing to examine it. “Guess she doesn’t need to, now.”
“I’ve got you paired up with Tommy. Seemed easiest, to get you started. You’ll be headed up to the lodge, it’s a pretty standard route. Get the occasional runner, but it’s wildlife more than anything.”
He nodded, heading toward where Ellie was already scampering out the door.
“See you Tuesday, I suppose. Guessing you’re the one to check-in with?” he asked.
You smiled at his correct assumption.
“Sure am.”
* * *
You didn’t know Joel well enough to make assumptions about his punctuality, but Tommy was never late. Even you were late from time to time, often getting swept up in tasks and losing track of things. But the man was annoyingly punctual. According to Maria, that’s part of why she fell for him.
Tommy was late today.
You crossed to the large observation window lining one wall of your office. It gave you a clear view of the front gates and surrounding guard stations, but there was no sign of Tommy anywhere. Or Joel, for that matter.
A knock on your door interrupted your analysis. It was Eugene. The grizzled old man acted anything but, a smile breaking out across his face at the sight of you.
“Hey, Doe! How’s things?” He asked.
“Fine. I’m looking for Tommy, actually–”
“Didn’t you hear?” He interrupted, “Maria’s gone into labor. He’s with her at the clinic.”
Your stomach dropped. Here you were preparing to chew Tommy out for his tardiness when the whole time he’d been busy becoming a father. A very valid excuse.
“And Joel?” you asked. “They were supposed to patrol together this afternoon, lodge route.”
“Not sure. He wasn’t with them. Listen, I gotta go grab the baby blanket I made and drop it off, but you and I need to have a drink one of these days. I worry your hair’s gonna start falling out in clumps if you don’t take a break eventually.”
“Yeah, but then what would you do, patrol out to the dam with Jesse? There’s a reason I don’t pair you two up anymore.”
“Because you don’t like blackberries?” he chided.
You frowned, “No, because you spent so long harvesting them your 8 hour patrol took 12. I was this close to sending out a search party. A little planning prevents a lot of headaches, Eugene.”
He turned to leave, looking back over his shoulder to get the last word. “You know what else is good for headaches? Whiskey.”
You sent Eugene on his way with instructions to give Maria your best. You’d visit her when the baby was here. For now, you had a community to protect.
With Tommy out of commission and Joel MIA, you’d have to find someone else to help you cover this patrol route. Dina was always a solid partner, if she was around. Devon the bartender could generally be counted on to have your back. Eugene would be ideal, but you didn’t want to make him work a double.
You headed to the stables to see who you could find. Upon entering, the warmth of the building and company of the animals soothed your unease, if only slightly.
You found your horse’s stall, the gray spotted mare whinnying at your arrival.
“Hey, Bailey,” you smiled, offering her a slightly bruised apple. She took it gratefully, big brown eyes closing in enjoyment.
“She’s beautiful,” a voice said from behind you, making you jump.
“Sorry,” the voice stepped into the light, “It’s just me.”
“Joel,” you took a deep breath in an attempt to slow your racing heartbeat.
“Sorry I’m late–”
You cut him off with a raised hand, looking him in the eye.
“You’re not with your brother,” you finally said, more of a statement than a question.
“You’re not with your best friend,” he replied, offering no further details.
You sighed, debating arguing with him about it before deciding the subject was better left untouched. You had your reasons for staying away from childbirth. If Joel had his own, he was entitled to that. You weren’t going to press him on it, so long as he didn’t press you.
“Come on,” you said, swinging your leg over Bailey’s back and settling into the saddle, “We’re making up for lost time.”
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The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 2 - Patrol
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.0k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
chapter warnings: childbirth (mentioned)
chapter summary: A detour finds you and Joel lost in the woods and in need of shelter for the night.
Chapter 2 - Patrol
It was foggy today. Cold and foggy. You resented the low visibility, but Joel didn’t seem to mind. He followed behind you on Chestnut, an older mare named for her lovely, dark coat. While you focused on the trail, he watched the trees. Even if infected were rare out here, he wasn’t about to be caught off guard.
You made it about four miles before dust began to mix with the fog, making you cough until you pulled your shirt over your mouth and nose to block out the debris.
“Rockslide,” you called back to Joel, the sound of pebbles still clattering to the ground confirming your assessment. “We need to find an alternate route. I usually send patrols up this way three times a week, but no one’s come up this way since last Thursday. It’s overdue for a checkup.”
Joel was unfazed. “The river narrows to a stream about a mile back. We can cross over, loop around.”
You nodded, “Lead the way, Miller.”
Letting Joel lead was a mistake. Between the detour and the fog, you were hopelessly, utterly lost.
“If we die out here, I’m gonna kill you,” you told him, your annoyance beginning to slip towards downright anger.
“We’re not gonna die out here, Doe. Calm down.”
“We need to find high ground—figure out where we are, get above all this fog,” you said.
Luckily, you were headed uphill. But uphill didn’t last. Just as the fog began to thin, you reached a lake. Beside it stood a cabin, one you hadn’t seen on your patrols before.
The siding had once been painted a bright, cheery yellow, but time and the elements had stripped away much of the color. There were no signs of life, no broken windows. It had probably been abandoned long before the outbreak. Either that, or occupied by people who knew how to keep a low profile.
You eyed Joel, and with a sharp nod, he dismounted. You tied the horses just inside the treeline and approached, slowly and quietly climbing the stairs to the enclosed porch.
You squatted down to pull out your lock pick, but before you could even retrieve it, Joel was winding up to kick the door down. You stopped him with a gentle hand on his thigh. He looked down at you, eyes wide, and you answered his unspoken question by raising your lock pick.
You made quick work of the lock, standing to push the door open. You motioned for Joel to head inside, but he opted to hold the door for you instead. “After you, ma’am.”
You were tempted to roll your eyes at that, but honestly, you kind of liked it. You led the way, clicking on your flashlight to investigate.
It wasn’t untouched, like you had initially suspected. There were signs of past occupants between the outbreak and now, but whoever it was hadn’t stayed long. The cabinets were still mostly stocked, though none of the cans were of your preferred variety. The curtains were drawn and dusty, having been left that way for some time. You opened them, letting in a dull beam of late-afternoon light. It glinted off liquor bottles strewn across the carpet by the couch.
“Looks like somebody hunkered down here for a bender,” Joel said, toeing a half-empty bottle with his boot.
“You got all that from liquor bottles and a carpet covered in dried vomit? Very observant, Miller,” you teased, taking a seat on an old barstool.
“I’m surprised they didn’t start breaking shit.”
“Not every drunk’s a violent one, Joel. Some of them just get sad. Or horny.”
“Or both.”
You huffed at that. He wasn’t wrong. You were stretching your neck when Joel made the call.
“It’s getting late,” he said. “We should settle in here for the night.”
“That’s not–” you started, before realizing he was probably right. If you kept going, you’d likely end up going in circles, just getting more lost than you already were. And even with all the floor vomit, that couch looked comfy. “Fine,” you sighed. “Get a fire going, figure out some food. I’m gonna head up to the roof, see if I can get a radio signal.”
Joel nodded, setting his pack down by the fireplace. You climbed the ladder up to the small loft space, looking for roof access. There was a small skylight, and with luck, it pushed open.
You crawled out onto the roof, leaning back against a weathered gable. You could just barely get a signal on your long-range radio.
“Doe to base camp, come in,” you spoke into the mouthpiece.
“Copy, Doe. This is Mike at the main gate. Over,” a voice crackled through the speaker.
“Joel and I hit a rockslide along the Mountain View lodge trail earlier. We took a detour and got lost in all the fog. We’re at a cabin near some lake up here. Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for the night. Over.”
“But you’re alright otherwise? No injuries or anything? Over.”
“Fine, Mike. We’re fine. Should probably get a group out this way soon, though. The place is well-stocked, practically untouched. We’ll probably be back sometime tomorrow afternoon, assuming this fog clears and we can get our bearings. Over.”
“Copy that, Doe. All good over here.”
“Copy. Over and out.”
“Over and out.”
You scrubbed a hand over your face, your bones heavy with exhaustion. It had been a very long day.
“Soup’s on!” Joel called up from the living room.
“Be right there!”
You gathered your things, starting your haphazard slide back toward the skylight when a thought hit you.
“Hey, Mike?” you asked into the radio.
“Yeah?”
“How’s Maria?”
You waited anxiously for his reply. Childbirth had never been without its risks, but in the apocalypse, it was easy for things to go wrong.
“She’s good,” Mike said, “Delivery went smoothly.”
Good, you thought, letting out a sigh of relief. That’s good.
The radio crackled back on, and Mike added one last detail to his report.
“It’s a girl.”
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The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 3 - The Cabin
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
previous | next
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.1k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, violence towards children, nightmares
Chapter 3 - The Cabin
By the time you descended the ladder, Joel had everything set up. A clean, if dusty and threadbare, blanket was spread before the fireplace. He’d managed to get the fire going, and while it hadn’t reached a roar, it was plenty hot enough to heat some cans for dinner.
“What are you in the mood for?” Joel asked, gesturing between two cans with a pilfered can opener. “I’ve got alphabet soup or beefy ravioli.”
“Ravioli, please,” you said decisively, taking a seat beside him on the blanket. It took a second of him staring at you expectantly for you to realize he was holding out your selection. You took it and dug in.
“Holy shit,” you nearly moaned, the zing of 20-year-old marinara a delight to tired taste buds.
“That good, huh?” Joel asked.
You nodded–yeah, it was really that good.
“Maybe Ellie’s onto something,” he chuckled, digging into his own dinner. You cocked an eyebrow. He elaborated, “She’s big on Chef Boyardee, too. Who knew he’d have so many fans in the apocalypse?”
“I don’t know,” you joked. “Fungal pandemics come and go, but pasta is forever.”
He laughed mid-chew, snorting so effusively a J-shaped piece of pasta landed at your feet.
“Huh,” you said. “J for Joel.”
You ate the rest of your food in relative silence, the levity of the first few bites subsiding once you realized how hungry you truly were.
A few minutes later, you set your empty can on the hearth with a clatter. “I’m gonna turn in.”
Joel nodded. “I’ll take first watch. Good night, Doe.”
“Night, Joel.”
Upon further inspection, the puke-covered couch appeared to convert into a mostly unscathed bed. It felt almost wrong to tuck yourself beneath such cozy bedding in your filthy patrol clothes. Especially since you had to be ready to spring into action at any moment, which meant your shoes stayed on too. But it’s not like there were other options. You lay your head atop the impossibly fluffy pillow, and let your eyes fall shut. Before you knew it, you were asleep.
* * *
You only ever saw Steffy in your dreams anymore. Your baby sister had been there for the collapse of the Salt Lake City QZ, escaping alongside you. But somewhere between fleeing and finding yourself at the gates of Jackson, you’d lost her. You’re not sure what happened exactly, but the dread in the pit of your stomach left no room for wondering: Steffy was dead.
She was alive right now, though. You were little again, sitting on the terracotta tiles of your Aunt Suzie’s back porch. It was summer, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the magnolia tree above you.
While the adults grilled, you and Steffy had a tea party. All the best dolls were invited, teddy bears too. Even Steffy’s favorite, a bedraggled rat plushie named Ratty.
“Ratty wants Earl Grey,” Steffy said, holding out a tiny teacup and saucer.
“Why, of course,” you replied in a bad British accent, pretending to pour him a cup.
Steffy made Ratty drink the whole cup in one gulp. “Dee-licious.”
You giggled. She giggled. It was contagious, the two of you devolving into downright guffaws when you noticed the adults’ chatter had stopped. Looking over your sister’s shoulder, your face fell.
“What’s wrong?” Steffy asked with a tilt of her head.
You wanted to tell her to run. You wanted to tell her to get behind you, that something was wrong. But you were frozen.
That’s when the clicker sunk its teeth into her neck.
You woke with a start, flailing wildly, arm connecting with something hard, something that let out an ‘oof’ in response. Joel. You had hit Joel. Based on the proximity, you guessed he was trying to wake you.
“Sorry,” you panted, heart still racing from your dream. “Time for my watch?”
“No,” you could barely make out the shake of his head against what was left of the dying firelight. “It’s only been a couple hours. You were flailin’ about, looked like you were having a nightmare.”
“Oh,” you said. “Thank you. I’m fine now.”
“If you’re sure,” he said. “I’m here, y’know. If you want to… talk about it, or anything.”
You were still shaky. Your heart was still going so fast. But you weren’t about to discuss your dead sister with Joel Miller.
“I’m fine.” You doubled down, softer than you meant to.
“Okay,” he backed off, returning to his spot leaned up against the fireplace, eyes on the door.
Minutes passed, and your heart was still racing. Your hand throbbed, and you wondered how hard you’d hit Joel. Hopefully not hard enough to leave a mark.
“I’m sorry I hit you,” you said softly through the darkness.
“It’s fine, Doe. You were dreaming.”
You hated the way he brushed away your concerns, the way he gave you grace. In your experience, people rarely let others off the hook, not really. There was always some resentment that lingered.
If you were going to owe him, you might as well really owe him.
“Joel?” you asked.
“Hm?”
“I can’t sleep,” you confessed.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do about that.”
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself to ask for what you wanted. “Will you cuddle with me? It’s not you, it’s just…I need another person. We’re safe here, we don’t need a watch, not really. And I need you.”
“Thought you said it wasn’t personal.”
“It’s not,” you bristled. “But I thought it would be nice.”
“Never said it wouldn’t be, sweetheart.”
You lay there expectantly for what felt like ages. Then, finally, you heard the squeak of old floorboards under his boots, and felt the squish of the mattress as he climbed onto it beside you. You found a position easily, one arm beneath your head, his other loosely draped across your waist.
Your heart slowed marginally, but your breathing remained fast and light.
“Relax, sweetheart. You gotta breathe.”
“I can’t–” you started. He cut you off with a hand to your stomach.
“You can.” He pulled you back against him gently, not so tight you were crushed, but just enough for you to feel the expanding and contracting of his own breath against your back. “Breathe with me, alright?”
You nodded with a shuddering breath. He tapped your stomach lightly with his thumb. You matched his inhale, breathing deeply and resenting the fact that this shit works every goddamn time. Within a few minutes, you were calm. Or as calm as you were going to get, anyway.
“I get them too, you know,” Joel admitted.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You were still pulled close against him, neither of you having made a move to scramble apart once your breathing returned to normal. At his admission, you relaxed into him fully, taking his free hand in yours.
Before you knew it, you were asleep once more, dreamless and deep, held safe and secure in the warmth of Joel’s embrace.
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The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 4 - Daybreak
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
previous | next
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.0k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
chapter warnings: masturbation (m)
Chapter 4 - Daybreak
The first time Joel met you, he imagined you smelled like daisies. He couldn’t be sure, of course. He never got close enough to tell. But in his head, you smelled like them. He was sure of it.
The second time Joel met you, he was even more certain. There was a daisy tucked behind your ear, for Pete’s sake.
The third time he met you, you smelled like hay. That was to be expected, you’d come straight to the dining hall from the stables. But he still reckoned it covered up daisies.
Last night Joel dreamt of different flowers: dandelions. His brain brought him back to a hike he’d gone on with Sarah years ago, up in the mountains where they’d found a huge patch of the yellow sprouts and he’d taught her to make flower crowns. She was better at it than he was, her nimble fingers and natural talent for handicrafts far outpacing his own skills. Still, she wore the crown he made for her like it was a damn tiara. He didn’t have the heart to tell her they were technically weeds.
Joel woke with a smile. He was warm, and cozy, and the haze of sleep soothed his weary soul. His eyes were dry and a little crusty. His mouth tasted vaguely like spaghetti sauce. And the world smelled like daisies.
Daisies.
He opened his eyes with a start, struggling not to make a sudden movement and startle you awake. His nose was buried in your hair, and he wasn’t sure whether the scent of daisies was coming from your shampoo or your laundry detergent or if it was just you , but he didn’t care.
Because he was right. And if Joel Miller loved anything, it was being fucking right.
Despite the vindication, he felt conflicted. Joel wasn’t exactly in the habit of curling up with patrol partners when they’d had a bad dream. This was a dangerous precedent to set.
You rolled over in your sleep, cuddling closer against him. The resulting friction informed him that he was painfully, embarrassingly hard.
Fuck, Joel thought to himself. He had to figure out a way to… deal with this without waking you up. He didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or objectified. He knew it was just a reflex—he was sleeping, he couldn’t control it. But it made him feel like a stupid, horny teenager all over again.
Careful not to wake you, he slipped out of bed. Tiptoeing to the door, he let himself out quietly.
He snuck around back, leaning up against the woodshed. When he glanced up at the treeline, though, he found Bailey and Chestnut staring him down.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he panted, breath fogging up in the early morning chill.
He ducked around to the other side of the shed and freed himself from his jeans.
It wasn’t you, he thought to himself. It couldn’t be you. It was just a warm body and a soft bed and the fact that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been that close in that way to anybody at all.
He thumbed over his slit, wiping away the bead of precum that wept from his tip. What would you feel like? He wondered, stroking faster. Probably soft, and warm, and wonderful. He was close just thinking about it.
“Stop it,” he smacked himself across the face, struggling to catch his breath. The motion just reminded him of the sore mark you’d left behind last night. Evidence of your touch, evidence of your skin on his.
He came into the dirt a second later. Kicking some loose soil over it and tucking himself away, he looked up to see the first rays of sunrise peeking over the mountaintops. The rays caught on the water in such a way that it seemed to turn to liquid gold before his eyes.
“Wake up,” Joel shook your shoulder gently.
“Mmm,” you groaned. “What time is it?”
“Don’t matter,” he dragged you out of bed by the hand, guiding your arms into the sleeves of your puffer jacket. “You need to see this.”
By the time you made it outside, all you saw was gray. Clouds had covered up the sunrise, and Joel felt like a fucking fool.
“What am I looking at, exactly?” you asked with a yawn.
Joel frowned, genuinely disappointed the stunning vista had disappeared so quickly. There was so little beauty left in this world. He hated the idea of anyone missing out on what remained.
“Nothing,” he muttered. “It’s gone.”
Breakfast was a quiet affair that morning, the two of you sat huddled around the fireplace like the night before.
“Do beans count as breakfast?” you asked as he took a bite from a can of the refried stuff.
“It’s a fast. I’m breaking it. I’d say it counts.”
You chewed silently for a few moments. Your peaches would have been fine straight out of the can, but Joel had still heated them in the coals. You were grateful for it; they warmed you from the inside.
“We should head up to the fire lookout,” you said. “It’s the highest point on this ridge. If we can find a path uphill, we’ll reach it eventually. I should be able to plot a return route from there.”
He nodded. “I saw an old trailhead when I was out back earlier. Doubt it’s been maintained since well before the outbreak, but it’s a start.”
You nodded in agreement, sprinkling some granola on your peaches.
“Why were you out back earlier?”
Joel’s eyes went wide for a second before he managed to school his expression.
“Needed to…grab some wood.”
“There’s plenty of wood in here, Joel.”
“We went through a lot last night,” he said, doing his best to sound authoritative. “It would be rude not to replace it.”
You chuckled at that. “Glad to know even in the apocalypse, chivalry’s not dead.”
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The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 5 - The Lookout Tower
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You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.6k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
chapter warnings: childbirth (mentioned)
Chapter 5 - The Lookout Tower
The trailhead proved useful, sloping gently downwards for a while before bringing you to the base of a long series of switchbacks. You couldn’t see the lookout tower, but the path led uphill. And uphill was the right direction.
Joel was quiet as you made your way up the twisting path. You were starting to think that was just his natural state when he spoke up.
“About last night…” he started. You didn’t let him finish.
“It never happened.” You offered him a reassuring smile over your shoulder. “I appreciate it. But I don’t…expect anything. From you.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t. He just nodded, looking down at the path in front of him. You felt bad, cutting him off like that.
“How are Ellie’s shoes holding up?” you asked.
“They’re good,” he nodded. “Very flashy.”
You pulled your horse to a halt, whipping around to look at him.
“Joel Miller, was that a pun ?”
He looked like a deer in headlights.
“Don’t tell Ellie.”
The rest of the trek passed easily, the conversation light. You talked about your lives before the outbreak, at least the parts that didn’t hurt to discuss.
He’d worked in construction, he told you. He built houses, and liked it well enough. You tried asking him about his life outside of work, but he kept redirecting the conversation back to you. You didn’t push him on it.
You told him of your own life—that you’d been 18 when the outbreak hit, and had just started college in Colorado when a bout of homesickness brought you home to Salt Lake City for the weekend. You’d been there ever since. Well, until Jackson, that is.
“What was your major?” he asked you.
You sighed wistfully at the memory of your 18-year-old self, whose future had gone up in spores.
“Undeclared.”
Joel let out a low hum of understanding. You heard the soft sound of his lips parting as if to say more, but no words followed.
You forged ahead.
After a while, the switchbacks spat you out at the base of a tall wooden tower supported by beams far rustier than you’d anticipated.
“We’ll get tetanus if we try to climb that thing,” you said.
“Might have a point there,” he agreed.
While you tethered the horses to a tree, Joel circled the base of the tower, looking for a way up.
“There,” he pointed to the collapsed balcony on one side. “The railing’s out. I’ll boost you up, then you can drop down a ladder or something.”
You crossed your arms, nodding.
“How does that work, exactly?”
He quirked a smile. “You’ve never been boosted?”
“Not that I can recall.”
“It’s simple,” he said, squatting beneath the access point and interlacing his fingers. He held them out in front of him, creating a sort of foothold. “One foot goes here, then one on my shoulder, then I stand up and give you a boost.”
“That sounds wildly unsafe.”
“You just have to trust me. I won’t let you fall, I promise. Just use the momentum and push yourself up like you’re getting out of a swimming pool.”
“And Ellie does this?”
“All the time.”
“Fine,” you nodded, stepping towards him. He met your eyes, then assumed the position. You stepped into his hands, then on his shoulder, and next thing you knew you were pulling yourself up onto the balcony.
You looked back down at Joel, who gave you a patronizing smile and two thumbs up.
“Nice job, sweetheart.”
You flipped him off, and went to find something for him to climb on.
The place was sparsely decorated, with a cot against one wall and a large map spread across a central table. Waist-height wooden walls bordered the small square room, with windows spanning the remaining gap to the ceiling.
A coil of rope sat atop a strange wooden stool with each leg placed in what appeared to be a water glass, the liquid long since evaporated. Thick knots were tied at one-foot increments, clearly meant for climbing.
You secured the rope to a metal bracket protruding from the outside wall and dropped the loose end over the edge to Joel.
“Here,” you called out to him. “Climb on up.”
You continued your inspection of the place, opening drawers to find little more than dusty old clothes and files from before the outbreak. In the top drawer of what appeared to be a dresser, however, you found a threadbare plushie. Not a lion, or a tiger, or a bear.
But a rat.
You wailed, dropping the thing like it just bit you.
“Doe!” Joel called up.
You couldn't hear him. You couldn't hear anything. You were frozen to the spot, memories flashing through your mind at breakneck speed. Memories of nightmares like the one you'd had last night.
Over and over and over again, you watched your sister die. Watched as she was mauled by clickers, shot by raiders, hanged by FEDRA for breaking some arbitrary rule.
Joel shouted your name again, but there was no response.
“Dammit,” he muttered, taking the rope in his hands and beginning to climb. He made it about five feet off the ground before the bracket snapped under his weight, the bolts giving way and dropping him on his ass.
He got to his feet quickly, assessing the situation. He wasn't sure what was going on with you, there was no sound of a struggle so he doubted you were hurt. Maybe something had startled you? He couldn't tell for certain without being there himself.
He pulled thick leather gloves from his pack, and risked the rusty scaffolding. Pulling himself up over the railing, he entered the tower to see you sitting on the edge of the cot, silent tears spilling down your cheeks while your eyes stared out into nothingness.
Pulling off his gloves, he got down on his knees before you. He put a hand on your knee, shaking you gently in an attempt to snap you out of it. It didn't work.
“Doe, what's wrong?” He asked gently.
His words caught your attention, but the only explanation you could offer was the rat plushie held gingerly in your hands. He took it, looking the scraggly thing over.
“I don't understand,” he said.
“My sister,” you said quietly. “She was here.”
He sat next to you, both of your gazes fixed firmly on the toy rodent.
“Were you separated?” He asked.
You shook your head. “She's dead.”
“How?” The question slipped out before he could stop it. Joel winced at the rude inquiry, but it didn't seem to faze you.
“That's the thing,” you smiled dejectedly. “I don't remember.”
The two of you sat in silence for a long while, you not offering up any additional information and Joel not coaxing it out of you.
“I–” he started, just as you rose to your feet.
“We should go,” you cut him off, crossing to the map that sat atop the large central table.
Joel nodded, joining you.
The map showed Jackson and the surrounding mountains, with the lookout tower marked with what appeared to be a gold star sticker like the kind your first grade teacher used to give out. You pulled a compass from your pack, aligning it with the one on the map, and pointed ahead and slightly to your right.
“The lodge is that way.”
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The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 6 - The Lodge
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.1k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
Chapter 6 - The Lodge
A light rain had begun to fall by the time you reached the lodge. The dirt trail quickly turned to mud, and the horses’ hooves squelched with every step. You braced yourself, sliding off Bailey’s back and landing in the stuff with a resolute plop .
Though you’d had the foresight to waterproof your boots, water and mud were two very different beasts. You’d probably be scrubbing dirt out of your laces for a good long while once you got home. Which at this rate felt like it may not happen until well after you died of old age.
Sodden and starving, you tethered Bailey to a post and approached the front porch.
“More breaking and entering?” Joel asked as you crouched to a squat before the door.
“Nope.” You flipped up the corner of the doormat to reveal a hidden key. “Consider us lodge-sitters.”
“Aren’t you worried about break-ins?” Joel asked.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Joel, but this region isn’t exactly overflowing with people. And if any do find this place…” You trailed off as you slid the key in the lock, glancing up to meet his eyes. “Well, has a locked door ever stopped you?”
Before he could answer, you pushed through the door and stepped into the mercifully well-insulated structure.
The place was pretty bare-bones, with empty storage shelves built into one wall and a threadbare couch pushed up against another. The worn-down dregs of what had once been carpet covered the concrete subfloor here and there.
Despite it all, the sofa beckoned. You sank into it, backpack sandwiched between you and the rear cushions, and sighed.
Then Joel had the audacity to block your light.
“Can I help you?” you asked, opening one eye to glare up at him.
“What’s the plan?”
“Logbook. Linner. Leave.” You counted out the steps of your incredibly thorough plan on frozen fingertips.
“Linner?”
“We’re well past lunchtime. Not quite to dinner. It’s linner, the brunch of the afternoon.”
“That is so goddamn stupid.”
Even with your eyes closed, you could hear the smile in his voice. That is so goddamn adorable .
Joel trailed off towards the only other thing in the room, an old podium atop which rested the dusty, leather-bound logbook. A clicky pen sat nestled between the pages, bearing words he’d never expected to read again, let alone here:
Dr. Neil Henry, DDS - Austin Community Dentistry
He laughed, holding up the pen to show you.
“You know this used to be my dentist, back in Austin?”
“Did it now?” You smirked.
“Dr. Henry. Always used to nag me about flossin’,” he reminisced.
“Did it work?”
“No,” he chuckled. “Not ‘till after the outbreak, anyhow. No one’s around to give you a root canal nowadays. I’d rather not need one.”
“Fair point,” you said, well aware of the hypocrisy as you gnawed on an extraordinarily tough chunk of jerky.
Your eyes swept the stunning vista visible through the lodge’s massive windows. They reminded you of the ones in your office, and in the lookout tower. There was something about them that put you at ease, which made no sense whatsoever. They were glass, and not even particularly thick glass at that. Much like life before the outbreak, they were an illusion of security at best.
But still, you liked them.
Joel followed your gaze, and his breath caught in his throat at the view. It was beautiful. Not quite as magnificent as this morning’s sunrise had been, but still breathtaking.
“Wow,” he whispered.
“Pretty, huh?” you answered without looking back.
“It’s like a screensaver. Or a wallpaper or somethin’.” Joel mused, eyes wide in awe.
“Hmm,” you mused. “Mine used to be a picture of the Great Wall of China.”
“Why’s that?”
“It was the default,” you sighed, picking out the raisins from your trail mix. “But also I’ve always thought ruins were cool as shit.”
“Plenty of those to be had nowadays,” he said.
“Too many, if you ask me.”
You both chewed in silence for a minute, watching the birds coming home from their winter vacations.
“You know Eugene leaves jokes in here?” Joel broke the silence.
“I did.”
“You hear his latest?”
“Hit me with it.”
“Alright,” Joel turned to face you, smile wide. “What do we want? Low-flying planes! When do we want ‘em? Nyeowwww.” He mimed a plane diving with his finger, eliciting a chuckle from you.
“That’s one of his better jokes.”
“Yeah, the man’s no Will Livingston.”
You smiled. You were intimately familiar with Livingston’s work, ever since Ellie decided to thank you for her new light-up sneakers with a selection of the punster’s greatest hits.
There was no need for a security sweep after you’d finished eating. The whole place was only a couple of rooms, and you’d already checked the perimeter before entering.
“Go get the horses ready,” you instructed. “I’ll finish up here.”
You scribbled your report in the logbook and tucked away the remnants of linner, swinging your pack over your shoulders before taking one last look at the view.
It was golden hour, and the sun hit the clouds in a way that transcended any screensaver comparison. It was as if you’d been granted a glimpse of heaven itself.
* * *
You watched from the porch as Joel took a drink from his canteen. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the chiseled scruff of his jawline–from an objective standpoint, the man certainly had a rugged charm to him. But he was far from the only cowboy type in Jackson. And this was far from your first rodeo.
As Joel tucked the canteen away, he remembered the outside pocket of his pack. It held loose bullets and some of Ellie’s hair ties, but most importantly, it held a ballpoint pen.
As he heard you turn the key in the lock, he called out.
“Hang on! I forgot something.”
Unlocking the door once more, you ushered Joel inside.
He jogged over to the logbook with his offering, swiftly swapping it out for the one with a touch of home. He was halfway to the door when his brain caught up with his eyes and he turned on the spot to inspect your logbook entry.
All clear, no signs of raiders or infected.
It wasn’t the description that jarred him. It was the names. His, of course, was transcribed in loopy cursive, the standard, un-misspell-able ‘Joel Miller’. Beside it was a nickname–no, a last name –preceded by a first name that brought everything into focus:
Jane Doe.
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chapter notes:
New chapter! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for the long gap between updates, life has been cray.
Big Jane Doe reveal oooh!!! I would never blatantly rip off Yearling like that don't worry!!!!!!!!!! @justagalwhowrites BIG FAN THO
Curious to hear everyone's thoughts on this chapter and what's coming next, I legit have been planning out this whole fic with a very elaborate color-coded notecards-on-corkboard setup (I am, in fact, a virgo). So more fun stuff coming hopefully sooner rather than later.
Comments make me type faster!
Love you all so much, and thank you for reading! I got really creatively blocked during the writers' strike and getting back into fanfic writing has been incredibly healing. Grateful for you all.
taglist: @aspecialgreenie
The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 7 - Homecoming
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.5k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
Chapter 7 - Homecoming
“Slow down!” You shouted as you trailed behind Joel’s horse.
His dark-brown mare stepped effortlessly over puddles and swerved gracefully around patches of loose dirt. Your smaller, more cautious horse struggled to keep up.
“Can’t. Sorry, Doe,” He called back over his shoulder.
“Why the hell not?”
He continued down the trail with a grunt, leaving your unanswered question hanging in the air. The wind quickly swept it away. It was picking up as you headed back towards Jackson. You made a mental note to schedule a maintenance crew to check for weak spots in the fence once it passed.
Loose hairs clouded your vision as a particularly strong gust swept through. You undid your braid and twisted your locks up into a bun. You wrapped the elastic once, twice, until–
SNAP!
You tossed your head back with a groan. “Oh, come on!”
You shoved the broken hair tie in your pocket and nudged Bailey forward down a path that was beginning to feel a lot more like an obstacle course than a trail.
Joel was waiting for you as you rounded the corner.
“I thought you were in a hurry.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. Much like yours, it was a wind-tousled mess.
“I am. It’s just–”
He gestured towards the fork in the trail before him. You smirked.
“Ever heard of a map, Miller?”
“We left it at the lookout tower.”
You nodded. “True. But I keep an extra right here.” You tapped your forehead for emphasis, and he gave you an eye roll that rivaled one of Ellie’s.
“I meant a paper one, not a mental one.”
You pointed out a stack of rocks set off to one side, a few paces down the left-hand path.
“See that tall pile of stones?”
He nodded.
“Maps are hard to come by around here unless we make them ourselves. For patrols closer to Jackson, we use stone cairns to mark pathways. If you ever get lost, they’ll lead you back home every time.”
Joel pursed his lips in a subtle sign of approval. “Clever. I’ll let Ellie know, in case she needs it someday.”
You offered a soft smile, then led the way down the cairn-marked trail back towards Jackson.
Perhaps that’s why he’s in such a hurry , you realized. He’s worried about Ellie.
You looked back over your shoulder, and your heart clenched at the concern so apparent on his worn features.
Your voice was gentle as you spoke. “I’m sure she’s fine, you know.”
“That’s none of your concern,” he bristled.
The words weren’t particularly harsh, but they caught you off guard. You couldn’t help but flinch as if you’d been struck by a fist instead of a statement.
“Sorry,” you muttered.
You traveled in silence after that. The wind picked up as evening took hold, and it was a struggle to keep your hair out of your face. You tried twisting it up into a knot, tucking the ends into the coil to hold it in place, but it fell out every time. Then you tried pulling your hood over your head, but that limited your peripheral vision too much. So you tried braiding it, but you’d never been any good without a mirror.
“Quit futzin’ with it,” Joel sighed, pulling his horse to a stop.
You followed suit, turning to face him.
He just looked at you, hand outstretched. “Get down.”
His expression was equal parts insistence and annoyance. You let him help you down, and your breath caught in your throat as he spun you around.
“What are you–”
“Relax,” he drawled. “I’m fixing your hair. You can’t have it flyin’ around in this wind. If we hit trouble, you need to be able to see.”
“I know. I don’t have a hair tie, though.”
He reached into his saddlebag and retrieved one. “Good thing I do, then.”
“Why do you have a hair tie?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Why do you think?”
You clenched your eyes shut as you realized the painfully obvious answer.
“Ellie.”
“Bingo.”
A shiver ran down your spine as he brushed through your hair with his fingers, gently detangling the pesky, persistent knots. He separated it into three sections and began to braid.
“Ellie usually wears her hair in a ponytail. When did you learn how to braid?”
He let out a soft huff of air. You couldn’t tell without looking at him whether it was one of pain or wistful recollection.
“Long time ago. Even longer story.”
You swallowed, unsure how to respond. You let his answer be enough, and closed your eyes as he finished your braid. His hands were sturdy, yet kind. He didn’t pull on your hair out of frustration like your mother once had. His breath just barely tickled the tops of your ears as he worked, but it was there, warm and steady. Just like with everything else, Joel knew what he was doing.
You jumped when he patted your shoulder a minute later.
“All done. Let’s skedaddle.”
It took you a moment to return to yourself. Despite your better judgment, you had found yourself lost in the sensation of Joel’s touch.
“I hate that word,” you muttered as you swung your leg over the saddle, settling into place on Bailey’s back.
“What would you suggest instead, then?” He asked.
You panicked. “Uhhh…boogie?”
He barked a laugh. “That is so much worse. But fine, let’s boogie.”
So boogie you did. Thankfully once you rounded the bend, the trail opened up and you were able to walk side by side. You swept the braid over your shoulder and paused to feel it. It was silky smooth, not a hair out of place. It was perfect, practiced. You were grateful for it.
As you reached the base of the foothills, the far-off lights of Jackson came into view. Floodlights illuminated the main gate and key communal areas, with twinkle lights strung above the main thoroughfare. Firelight flickered through house windows, and you could feel the warmth from here. This place, more so than any you’d ever experienced, felt like home.
Joel peered over the edge of the meandering path that led down to the main gates. You were only a few miles off now.
“Looks like someone cleared that rubble,” he remarked.
“That would be Mike and Casey. Those two are a veritable dream team.”
“How’d they know it was there?” he asked.
You pulled the walkie-talkie from its holster at your hip and held it aloft in answer. “Long-range radio. It’s been an ongoing effort with spotty results, but the improvements to patrol safety are undeniable.”
Joel stared at you. “You jerry-rigged the walkies? I thought that was a satellite radio or something. Not that many of those work anymore.”
“Took a while, but yeah. Why do you think Maria put me in charge of all the unglamorous backend stuff? In a place like Jackson, problems are doomed to arise. I like solving them before they pose a threat to our survival.”
He eyed you curiously. “You take this real serious, don’t you?”
You replied with a curt nod, “I do.”
***
The gates swung open as you approached, the green ‘all clear’ flag held high above your head in a tight grip.
You let out a sigh as it closed behind you, sliding off Bailey’s back and rolling your shoulders as the innate stress of being outside the walls retreated at last.
“Good patrol,” Joel spoke from behind you.
You turned to see his hand outstretched. You hesitated, then took it.
His skin was rough against yours, weathered by years of hard labor and reluctant adventure. His grip was firm but gentle. Then, with a squeeze, it was gone.
“Good patrol,” you muttered, taking Chestnut’s reins from his other hand and passing both horses off to the waiting stable hand.
He cocked his head towards the houses. “You comin’?”
You arched an eyebrow. “Coming where?”
“To meet the baby.”
Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.
Your heart thumped in your chest, the pace quickening for a reason you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was the same instinct that had led you out on patrol instead of to the clinic when Maria had gone into labor. You wished you could articulate what it was about childbirth that sent you into such a panic. But much like those mysterious years between Salt Lake and Jackson, you kept coming up blank.
Joel’s brow furrowed with concern as he took in your wide, terrified eyes.
“Doe?”
You snapped out of it as your eyes met his, but you couldn’t push the fear aside. You couldn’t stomach it, not tonight, not after everything that had happened at the lookout tower. Maria was your best friend. Surely she’d understand if you stopped by tomorrow instead.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure–”
You snapped. “I said I’m fine .”
You turned to leave, but paused as you added, “Tell Tommy and Maria congrats for me.”
Joel stepped around you, blocking your path. “Tell them yourself.”
You shot him a piercing look and pushed past him with more force than was probably necessary. He stumbled, taken aback.
Your voice dripped with venom as you got the last word.
“Goodnight, Joel.”
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taglist: @aspecialgreenie
The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 8 - Locked Out
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
previous | next
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.5k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
Chapter 8 - Locked Out
Few things about post-outbreak life had come easy to Joel, but one thing he never struggled with was silence. He was a man of few words, he relished in solitude, and his years as a father made him excellent at moving quietly. While he’d developed that skill to avoid waking Sarah as an infant, it also proved useful for avoiding Infected. He never thought he’d get another chance to use his light tread for anything other than survival, but here he was. Carefully climbing the creaky wooden steps to his brother’s front door, stepping over the squeakiest one he’d been meaning to fix for ages now.
Knock! Knock!
Joel rapped softly on the warm oak door, just loud enough to announce his presence without risking a screaming baby.
Tommy answered a moment later.
“You look like shit,” Joel cracked an amused smile. Tommy had said something similar the first time he’d greeted Joel after Sarah was born.
“Gee, thanks,” Tommy rolled his eyes. He stepped backward, holding the door to usher Joel inside. He hung his filthy patrol jacket on a peg and turned to take it all in.
It was as if a tornado had swept through. Dirty dishes were scattered across every horizontal surface but the floor, and the burp cloth situation wasn’t much better. By the looks of it, Maria was currently making do with a bath mat.
A smile crept across his lips as the baby finally spit up and then descended into soft, easy snores. It was peaceful in the way only small children could be.
“Congratulations,” he said softly, patting his brother on the back far more gently than Tommy had when he’d been freshly uncled.
“Thanks, Joel,” Tommy smiled. There was exhaustion in his eyes, but also a familiar, joyful satisfaction Joel recognized. It was the look of a father.
“Fatherhood suits you, you know.”
“You think?” Tommy asked.
Joel nodded. “I know.”
Maria chimed in from across the room. “You wanna meet her?”
Joel beamed. “Can I?”
Maria nodded, and he crossed to where she stood beside the fireplace. She jutted her chin toward the couch, and he took a seat in his usual spot.
“She’s beautiful,” he whispered as Maria placed the sleeping babe in his outstretched arms.
It didn’t look right, all his wrinkles and scars and gray hair against such pure, unbridled innocence. He didn’t expect the tears that slipped down his cheeks as he beheld her.
Tommy came to stand behind him, watching with newfound respect for his brother as he met his niece for the first time.
“What’s her name?” Joel asked.
Tommy looked at Maria. She nodded, giving him silent permission to proceed.
“Margaret Sarah Miller. Maggie for short.”
Tommy wasn’t sure what he saw in Joel’s eyes as his head snapped to look at him. All he knew was there were tears and something undeniably raw in there. It moved him.
“Maggie, like our mom Maggie?” He asked.
Tommy nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “And Sarah, like your daughter.”
Joel rolled his eyes through the tears. “Well, yeah, I got that part.”
Maria barked a laugh, and Tommy couldn’t help but follow suit. Joel of all people giggled, and then before they knew it little Maggie was opening her eyes. Her skin was dark like her mother’s, but her eyes—those were Miller eyes. It wasn’t the color that confirmed it, but the tenacity within them. The spark. The wildness that would forever refuse to be tamed.
“She’s gonna be trouble, this one,” Joel mused. “No doubt about it.”
Tommy chuckled. “Well, she’s got Ellie as a big cousin. I’d expect nothing less.”
Joel smiled wistfully. “I’ll have to get her over here tomorrow or the next day. We’ll help clean up so the two of you can get some rest. Would’ve been by sooner, but patrol ran long.”
“Speaking of which,” Maria chimed in, retrieving the baby from Joel to bounce on her hip. “Where’s Doe? I figured she’d be with you.”
Joel’s smile fell then. He still couldn’t make heads or tails of the way you’d stormed off earlier. He sure as shit didn’t know how to explain it to Tommy and Maria.
So he gave them a total non-answer.
“I’m not sure,” he shrugged. “Probably went to bed. It was a long patrol, I’m sure she’s tired.”
Maria cocked an eyebrow at the lame excuse. “Too tired to meet her niece?
* * *
Bang! Bang! Bang!
You awoke to the sound of thuds on your front door.
What now? You thought to yourself as you sat upright, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
“Doe, open up. I know you’re in there,” a gruff male voice called out to you.
Joel. What the fuck does he want?
You rose from your nest of blankets on the futon and padded towards the door in your slippers, stepping over the piles of dirty laundry that littered your floor.
It got like this, sometimes. You tried to keep things under control, but life had a way of thwarting that endeavor at every available opportunity. You shoved the clutter out of view as best you could and opened the door a crack.
“What?” You eyed him through the opening.
He was dressed casually, a light brown t-shirt giving way to denim down below. He was sweaty, and his hair was mussed. And the look he was giving you, when paired with crossed arms, was downright murderous.
“Office doesn’t open ‘till eight.”
“It’s ten-thirty,” he said, his voice rife with exasperation.
Shit, you winced. I can’t believe I overslept by that much.
You sighed, then opened the door a bit more. Your outfit was messy, but nothing out of the ordinary for pajamas.
“How can I help you, Joel?”
“Wanna tell me why Tommy says you still haven’t been by to see Maria? You’ve been back three days, Doe. She had the baby damn near a week ago. What gives?”
You didn’t know what to say. You’d never been one for excuses, but they were particularly elusive now. You broke eye contact, instead opting to try your hand at staring a hole through the corrugated metal outside your door. It didn’t work.
Joel reached forward and grabbed the door handle, yanking it open to expose you to the fresh morning air and bright sunlight that hurt your unprepared eyes. You stepped forward quickly, shutting the door behind you before Joel could get a good look at the depression pit formerly known as your office.
“I’m not leaving until you give me an answer,” Joel drawled.
You leaned back against the door and looked up at him with a frown. “You weren’t this mean back at the fire tower.”
“That was different. You needed coddlin’.”
“Who’s to say I don’t need coddling now? You don’t know me. You don’t know my life.”
“That’s the problem.” Joel dropped his hands to his sides. “I don’t know. Because you won’t tell me.”
“You assume there’s something to tell. There’s not.”
“What, cause you got amnesia or somethin’? I saw how you signed your name in the logbook. Either you’ve got real shit taste in aliases or there’s something more going on here.”
You pressed your lips into a thin line. “That’s private.”
“Clearly,” he spat. “Just tell me, are you planning on ignoring her forever, or are you gonna get your ass over there and go meet your niece?”
“That’s not my niece.”
“Maria begs to differ.”
Your eyebrows shot upward, and Joel seized the opportunity to continue.
“You’re her best friend. Her right-hand woman around here. She thinks of you as a sister, Doe.”
Something seized in your gut. “I don’t have a sister. Not anymore.”
You reached for the door handle and pulled, but–
“Fuck.”
It wouldn’t budge. Your heart rate picked up. You resisted the urge to vomit.
You pushed past Joel and scanned the flat expanse between the base of the building and the large wooden gates that enclosed the community you’d dedicated yourself to protecting. It was busy this time of day, but there was one person in particular you were looking for. You spotted her by the stables.
“Casey! Hey!” You waved your arms over your head to catch her attention.
“Doe? What’s wrong?”
You jutted a thumb over your shoulder. “Got locked out again.”
She sighed. “That’s the third time this month, dude. You gotta get a doorstop or something.”
“I know. Sorry,” you called down as she stopped beneath the wraparound balcony that surrounded your small office perch.
She tossed the spare up, but before you could catch it, a hand reached out and snatched it from the air.
“Thanks!” Joel called down to Casey. “I’ll help her get inside.”
“I could’ve caught that, you know.” You scowled, striding back towards the door.
Joel walked right past it and set off down the stairs that led to ground level.
“The fuck—Joel, where are you going?”
“To Tommy and Maria’s. And if you want to get back into that office of yours, you’re coming with me.”
You took a shaky breath. This was so not what you needed right now. You peered through the door's small wire-infused utility window and gazed longingly at your office. Or was it your apartment? You guessed it was technically both, since you slept on the futon. You locked eyes with the crusty rat plushie perched tall atop your mountain of cozy blankets, and whispered a solemn vow.
“I’ll be back for you soon, Ratty. I promise.”
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taglist: @aspecialgreenie, @guelyury, @amyispxnk, @picketniffler, @hiroikegawa
Exactly.
Lying in bed thinking about that old man. You know how it is.
hi there!! i heard u were taking reqs and i wanted to req for a fic where ellie blames reader for hiding the fact that she saved her from getting studied by the fireflies (like the argument she had w joel in tlou2) and they breakup but then ellie realises how much she fucked up when she sees reader at a party with another girl and can it be a happy ending with possible smut?
i realise i am asking for a LOT plsnandbdnsf 😔😔😔
Not a problem!!! Thank you so much for your request! 💜
Hey guys!! I have just finished writing a request and I must say that went pretty well for me but I hope you guys like it! Will be publishing it 3 or 4 hours later though.
Get ready for smutty smut!!!!!
I just finished reading the "Shut Up" "Make Me" Ellie x Reader fic and it was good. Will there be a part two?
I actually didn't think of writing a part two but guess I'll think about it since I have requests and drafts to write. Glad you liked it btw 😍
WHAT YOU SAY GOES, SIR- part 1
A/N- First chapter is not too smutty but you'll see how dom Joel can be and torture the Reader. If you don't like reading this kind of stuff, then you can read my other fluffy fluff imagine for Joel!
Summary- Reader is being a brat when she's at Joel's class and decides to show how she feels for him and test If he feels the same. Turns out that Joel isn't empty for the Reader.
Warnings- Lots of dirty talk, tigh grinding, daddykink , torturing, age difference , prof!Joel
If there was one thing or person that made history class interesting, it would definitely be Mr. Joel Miller. You liked the history lesson a little bit, but the professor who took your class couldn't explain it well. There was no such thing in man's nature. He also seemed like an interesting man. His hair and beard were white and he was lecturing like a scientist.
But then everyone in his class was overjoyed when they heard he was retiring. And that man was replaced by the most handsome and well-behaved man you've ever seen. From the moment he entered the classroom, you couldn't take your eyes off him. When he gave you assignment, you always wanted to go to him and show him the places you couldn't (although you could) and your desire to see him increased with each passing day. But you knew that nothing like this would be possible between you. It was not age. Yes, maybe there was age, of course, but you didn't know if he was married yet. You hadn't seen a ring on his finger and you couldn't have asked him that either, would you?
There was someone in class who caught Mr. Joel Miller's attention, and it was you, but you didn't realize it until he told you. Two weeks after he came, he called you and told you how well you listened to the lesson and you should continue like this, but you were only focused on his eyes and you weren't thinking about anything else. With his back turned, you were watching how he carried his muscular body, how the veins in his hands moved while writing on the board, his facial expressions when talking to someone, everything, hoping not to get caught by him.
You woke up because of that nightmare you had while you were lying in bed unaware that your alarm went off, and when you looked at the clock, you realized you were 10 minutes late for class. Campus was close to your house, so you dressed quickly and left. The tension was heightened when you remembered that your first lesson was with Mr. Joel Miller as you quickened his steps every second. Depending on his mood, he sometimes took the latecomers, but sometimes he was unforgiving. Hoping that his mood is good and that he doesn't turn you away, you walked through the door and ran down the hallway to the classroom. You were out of breath when you came to the door of the classroom, but that didn't stop you from knocking. When you opened the door, all eyes were on you, including Joel. You felt the need to look around, but you had to explain.
''Sir I'm so sorry I'm late I just didn't hear my alarm and somehow it got under my bed very deeply. I really tried to come here as quickly as I can. I'm so ask-" Mr. Miller interrupted your speech, raising his hand and nodding to the benches. You nodded your head in a thank you and sat down. It felt good to see that there was nothing that made him angry or moody today because you've been thinking about how to explain your feelings for him for a long time, but talking in person would be complete nonsense because you weren't sure if he felt anything like that. So there was only one thing you had to do.
After looking around and making sure no one was looking your way, you took the handout and went to Mr. Miller's desk and whispered to him so as not to disturb anyone.
“Sir can you have a look at my paperwork because I think I did some mistakes and I'm not pretty sure what to write to these blanks” He gave you a smile and gestured for you to sit on the empty chair next to him. This is where the event started. You rubbed your legs, which weren't too far anyway, but Mr. Miller didn't quite grasp it, he was too busy staring at his paper. You rubbed longer this time, thinking he didn't understand what you were trying to do. Sensing a stir on his side, Mr. Miller glanced at you and then realized what you were doing. Your heart was beating so fast as if it was going to explode. There was also a sense of rejection and fear of being disgraced. But as Mr. Miller did something unexpected, he leaned into your ear and whispered these words that got you even more excited:
"Look at you. You can't even sit where you are. What do you want me to do, huh? Fuck you when all of your friends are here? Yeah you would want that, wouldn't you pretty girl? “ You nodded yes, but you knew it wasn't serious. To play even more, you put your right leg on top of his left leg and started rubbing against him with your lower area.
Mr. Miller squeaked in dissatisfaction and placed his hand on your leg, looking around. At that moment, with a glance at you, he lowered his leg over yours and stood up. He said that the lesson was over before the lesson was even over, and everyone could disperse. Although it upsets you that he did such a thing when you thought your plan had worked, you quietly took your bag and stood up. Everyone had left by then, but only you and Mr. Miller remained. He walked forward to the door and locked it. You gave him meaningless looks, but he just grinned.
''You think you would get away with this? You know how inappropriate this is? Snuggling to your professor while you're in class and student are here? But you did like this, didn't you?" You focused on his eyes again, and every word he said made his heart race faster. He rushed over to you and took your chin in his strong, muscular hands. He blew his breath into your face, bringing his face close to it, and it made you shiver. You closed your eyes and waited for his next move. You were literally prey in his hands, and you wanted him to eat you.
''But I want an answer sweet girl. Just talk to me. Tell me what you want. You want me to fuck you on this desk until you're begging me to stop? Or do you really deserve it? Nah you definitely do not. First I have to punish you for being such a dirtly little brat that you're hooking up with me in class. Then maybe you can get reward but first you're going to listen to me little one. Understood?” You swallow hard and shake your head, but not satisfied. Clenching your chin between his hand even more, he turned his face to the side and brought his mouth close to your ear, letting a breath out there.
''You know I don't like it when people don't talk so just say it. Let's try it again, Yeah?' You said 'yes sir' in a low voice, but he didn't like it. ''What did you just say? I didn't hear you kitten. What you should say to me?”
The pain underneath was unbearable and you were writhing in his hand. Now, to put an end to this game, his eyes were shining when you said those inviting words by looking into his eyes.
“What you say goes, Sir” With these words, he grabbed your waist and laid you on the table with a lithe motion and made you turn your back. You shivered as the cold table skin touched your skin, but you didn't move.
''Now I want you to say to me how bad do you want this. You gotta earn your reward so behave , yeah? Are you gonna behave little girl? Are you gonna be daddy's kitten? Tell me how bad do you want me to punish you. “ You quickly said the words he wanted with a groan. A whimper came out of your mouth as he grabbed you by the hair and pulled you to him, but it was replaced by the sound of kisses on each other's lips. It was almost like time stopped, everyone disappeared, it was just the two of you, but that didn't change the fact that you were in school. And he left you with a knock on the door reminding you of that, and you looked into the mirror beside the table to tidy up and straightened your hair. When you looked towards the door, Mr. Miller was opening the curtain of the door and there was a knock on the door. Eventually the sound stopped and Mr. Miller had opened the door and was talking to the professor who had knocked on the door.
'' Hey, sorry I was having a private talk with my student and I actually didn't want anyone to interrupt us. We were just leaving. “ After picking up his purse from the table, he took one look at you before leaving and hurried out the door. Taking a deep breath, you went to the bathroom and splashed water on your face before entering the next lesson. What you went through was not easy and everyone could see it if you didn't forget that you did it in a public place .Although your inner voice said that there was no such thing, it was an unacceptable thing. Just as you were coming out of the toilet, you were startled by the message on your phone and you took it out of your bag to read it. It was a number you didn't recognize, but you knew immediately who it was because of what he wrote.
*Meet me outside of campus after your classes are over. I'll take you.*
You read the message at least ten times to make sure you saw it, and each time your excitement grew. You went to your next lesson wishing it would pass quickly and Mr. Miller became the prince of your dreams.
Anon 2 here's your request!! I hope you enjoyed it because I can't write smut properly as my main language isn't English . Your feedbacks are important to me 💫
hi there!! i heard u were taking reqs and i wanted to req for a fic where ellie blames reader for hiding the fact that she saved her from getting studied by the fireflies (like the argument she had w joel in tlou2) and they breakup but then ellie realises how much she fucked up when she sees reader at a party with another girl and can it be a happy ending with possible smut?
i realise i am asking for a LOT plsnandbdnsf 😔😔😔
Not a problem!!! Thank you so much for your request! 💜
hellooo i love your fics sm :(<3 so I wanted to ask you a fic were ellie is really sexually frustrated and desperate, but she's not a bottom, she's like a switch (?? and there's like a lot of dirty talking idk I hope you understand lmao 💗💗
I'm so sorry for responding late. I had some visitors lmao. Your request has got into my drafts baby, don't worry 😍 Thank u for it btw 💜💫
The Unusual
A/N- In my opinion, this was the best smut I’ve ever written and I hope you like it too :) We are such a simp for Ellie Williams ya’ll :) You also can send me requests, don’t be shy <3 I’m sorry If there are any grammar mistakes, I’ll try to come back and correct them.
Warnings- SMUT, Modern!Ellie, drink of alcohol, fingering, dirty talking.
Request from- Anonymous
Summary- After their meeting at the bar, what is usual for Reader and Ellie gets boring after a while and they decide to do something a little unusual.
A blinding light from the window shone into the room where you slept. The pain between your legs was enough to bother you more than ever, but you laid still and let the morning sun hit your face. You turned your head in that direction with the rustle coming from your side and you couldn't help your grin both because you saw the person you saw and because you remembered that wonderful moment you had last night.
A WEEK AGO
Again, when you went to the bar you always go to, this time there was a little movement in it. In this place where you went to clear your mind, you met a lot of people and learned more stories than you wanted to know. Sometimes you had to choose between many people, but you could not find the right one for you. Could such a thing have happened that day?
When you entered the bar, you laughed inwardly as the familiar smell hit your nose. Maybe it was a little silly, but everyone had different ways of distracting them. Yours wasn't a one night stand. You had never even tried this. You thought the important thing was to find someone you could feel safe with.
You stood in the bar chair to get a drink, stood out from the crowd, and looked around as you couldn't quite decide what you wanted to get. Everyone was having their own fun. When you looked a little more carefully, you saw that no one came here alone. You would give anything to come with your friends, but they had more important things to do. At least that's what they told you.
“Hey. Ready to order yet? “Y ou turned your head towards the sound and you were almost speechless by that perfect face you saw. Your hands tangled, and you accidentally knocked the finished glass which the man beside you had. You silently cursed yourself. The red-haired girl laughed at you. You looked at her and saw that she was busy cleaning the glass in her hand. You laughed embarrassingly and decided to have your usual drink so you wouldn't keep her waiting any longer.
" What. Uhm the usual, please? “ There was a problem that this girl had just started a job here and she didn't know what drink you were talking about. She frowned, but didn't seem to mind at all, as she immediately grinned and leaned over the table. “What about I give you my usual?” You nodded your head and watched in surprise as she took the drink . You have never seen a girl as attractive as this girl in all your life.
She placed the drink in front of you and, winking at you, moved to the side to take her next customer's order. When you looked at the drink, it was clear that you were not going to spend the night alone anymore. The girl, who hadn't even told you her name yet, looked at you from time to time, checking how you got the drink out of the corner of her eye. When you caught her staring at you, she smiled shyly with her perfect dimple and went back to her work. Your night was going to be great. You were sure of that.
LAST NIGHT
You tried to go to the bar almost every day after meeting the red-haired girl, but all this college stuff was throwing you off. It was getting harder for you to do the assignment given to you without being sober, but luckily, you somehow finished them all, or rather you had them done, and the only thing left was that you owed a meal to the people you had them do. It wasn't much of a problem either, you weren't really interested in school anyway. If there' was one thing you were really into right then, it was that bartender whose name you finally learned. Ellie.
You had a more than good relationship with Ellie. After the bar closed, you or she were always so busy telling each other things that you didn't even know how the time passed. Sometimes one of you said something embarrassing and you blushed up your ass, but you got used to it. Ellie was a really nice person. Although what he's been through isn't very good. You loved her. You actually thought there was something more than something. Maybe love?
You drank as you spoke , even drank to the hilt, and didn't hesitate to do silly things. It's like you were made for each other. The way Ellie looked at you in those eyes was so deep, longing and eager that you couldn't help yourself. She had no intention of keeping it to her either.
That evening, you happily entered the bar again, with the comfort of finishing your homework. Before you walk right in, you take a look at yourself in the mirror and rejoice at how sexy you look. Impressing Ellie was easier than you thought. It had already been so easy for her to influence you, which was an indisputable issue. Since the moment you saw the girl, or rather every time you saw her, your palms were sweating madly and you were trying hard not to jump on her.
Sensual and insane.
You quickened your steps towards where she was, but it wasn't that easy from the people dancing around you. You wanted to go to her right away and explain why you didn't come yesterday. You sat down on the chair in disappointment when you looked to the side where she always stood and saw that she wasn't even there, that there was no one in her place. However, you wanted this evening to be different from other evenings. You looked around with hope.
"Lookin' for me, babe? “ Your eyes widened at her voice and you almost jumped on her, but that was not possible because of the table in front of you. If you had done something like that, you would probably have gone to the ground with embarrassment. “ Where were you? “ He shrugged his shoulders and waved her hand as saying never mind.
“ Usual? “ “ Yeah, but your usual. I- I want yours. “ She nodded and quickly prepared the drink and placed it in front of you. This attraction between you was driving you crazy, you wanted it more and more each time. You wanted to explain yourself. “ I had some work to do yesterday, so- “ “ It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me.”
You took a sip of your drink and nodded at her understanding. You didn't even know exactly what was going on between you guys, and what was this willingness to explain yourself? You may have been nothing more than a friend to her, but at the same time, it didn't feel that way at all. Maybe you were having such thoughts in your head. You couldn't even taste the drink you were drinking properly anymore because of the tingling in your stomach. With a grimace, you pushed the drink away from you. “Hey. What- what about doing something different tonight? I mean If you want to. “ She smiled and nodded as her beautiful dimples came out.
“Yeah, of course babe. “ You were used to her calling you babe, it didn't seem like anything different anymore. She started saying this word the day after you met, but each time it aroused different feelings in you. It's like the pain you feel in your lower side. Every time you tried to ignore it, was difficult as Ellie talked or touched somewhere on you. You didn't want this night to be the usual. You wanted tonight to be different.
“ Well, let's not drink the usual one then If we're doing the different things.”
In a sexy stride that makes you feel like it's slow motion ,she leaned in front of the table, leaned close to your ear, and in a sexy voice, she said "Let our bodies talk If we're doing the unusual, baby. " . She bit your earlobe without pulling back. You shuddered and your eyes opened wide at what he said. That's when you realized that your feelings were not reciprocated. You were happy about this and with the excitement and some joy inside you started to wait for the closing of the bar with excitement.
After a few hours of waiting, it was finally the closing time of the bar and almost everyone had left. Ellie had taken you and herself to her apartment above the bar to change, and you were watching her take off her clothes on the edge of her bed. She was moving slowly again, but you couldn't really stand it anymore. The pain under you was growing more and more, it was making you squirm badly.
Just as she was taking off her pants, you jumped on her and quickly pushed her onto the bed. You pulled off the trousers that she had taken off in half and took them off her feet and immediately started to take off your own top. She put her hands on top of your, tooking off your shirt, tossed it aside to be not found in the morning. Her eyes lit up when she saw your breasts overflowing from the edge of your bra. She lifted her head from the bed and sucked on there, turning you into a whirlwind with little kisses. “ Fuck baby you're so fuckin' beautiful and you're mine, right? “ You nooded your head and kissed her as you leaned down on her and moaned to her lips. Your kiss was soft but sensual. It was almost unbearable, and you both knew it.
“ I want to fuck you, Ellie. “ “You and me both , babygirl. “ You groaned against her word. You split both of Ellie's legs, kissing both of them separately before coming to her clit. It was like she was writhing on you. You are satisfied. You quickly peeled off her panties from her leg and buried your mouth there in no time. “Fuck, baby your mouth. Fuck it's so good. “ She ran her fingers through your hair and made you press yourself against her. You pulled your mouth out of there and spit on your fingers and stuck two fingers in her hole without practice. Although she cried out in pain, she got used to it later and this time she started to moan with pleasure.
“Y/N, I don't wanna come yet. Please let me fuck you too. “ Without raising your mouth too much, you said ” Me first, Ellie. I want to devour you. You're so tasty. “
“ I want to know how you taste too, baby. Please. “ You groaned and let her lay you on your back.
You can't remember when you got so undressed and came close to having an orgasm, but the best orgasm of your life was about to await you.
She sat with her legs spread out and took you in her lap. You brought your hands to her beautiful little face and deepened your kiss. You took your place by her leg and started rubbing yourself on her. “Yes babygirl, keep goin'. Good girl. “ Saying these things only made you go faster. Her leg was terribly wet, but she didn’t even care.
When she least expected it, you stuck your fingers in her hole as you continued to kiss her. She groaned and thrust her hips against your fingers, which also made your leg wobble, making it even easier for you to rub. You were so close. Your moans and pleasure screams filled the room.
“Fuck baby. Yess. Come on. Cum for me. “
“Ellie!” you shouted, mixed with a moan. “I can't no more. “
“I know baby. Cu-Cum for me. “
After that, you both came convulsively. Your legs were sore and cramped from too much rubbing. Ellie had already thrown herself into bed and she was out of breath. You laughed and got on top of her. After placing one last small kiss on her lips, you wrapped your arms around each other and surrendered yourself to sleep.
Guys give this guy what it needss!! It's one of my fave writings so far.
The Unusual
A/N- In my opinion, this was the best smut I’ve ever written and I hope you like it too :) We are such a simp for Ellie Williams ya’ll :) You also can send me requests, don’t be shy <3 I’m sorry If there are any grammar mistakes, I’ll try to come back and correct them.
Warnings- SMUT, Modern!Ellie, drink of alcohol, fingering, dirty talking.
Request from- Anonymous
Summary- After their meeting at the bar, what is usual for Reader and Ellie gets boring after a while and they decide to do something a little unusual.
A blinding light from the window shone into the room where you slept. The pain between your legs was enough to bother you more than ever, but you laid still and let the morning sun hit your face. You turned your head in that direction with the rustle coming from your side and you couldn’t help your grin both because you saw the person you saw and because you remembered that wonderful moment you had last night.
A WEEK AGO
Again, when you went to the bar you always go to, this time there was a little movement in it. In this place where you went to clear your mind, you met a lot of people and learned more stories than you wanted to know. Sometimes you had to choose between many people, but you could not find the right one for you. Could such a thing have happened that day?
When you entered the bar, you laughed inwardly as the familiar smell hit your nose. Maybe it was a little silly, but everyone had different ways of distracting them. Yours wasn’t a one night stand. You had never even tried this. You thought the important thing was to find someone you could feel safe with.
You stood in the bar chair to get a drink, stood out from the crowd, and looked around as you couldn’t quite decide what you wanted to get. Everyone was having their own fun. When you looked a little more carefully, you saw that no one came here alone. You would give anything to come with your friends, but they had more important things to do. At least that’s what they told you.
“Hey. Ready to order yet? “Y ou turned your head towards the sound and you were almost speechless by that perfect face you saw. Your hands tangled, and you accidentally knocked the finished glass which the man beside you had. You silently cursed yourself. The red-haired girl laughed at you. You looked at her and saw that she was busy cleaning the glass in her hand. You laughed embarrassingly and decided to have your usual drink so you wouldn’t keep her waiting any longer.
" What. Uhm the usual, please? “ There was a problem that this girl had just started a job here and she didn’t know what drink you were talking about. She frowned, but didn’t seem to mind at all, as she immediately grinned and leaned over the table. “What about I give you my usual?” You nodded your head and watched in surprise as she took the drink . You have never seen a girl as attractive as this girl in all your life.
She placed the drink in front of you and, winking at you, moved to the side to take her next customer’s order. When you looked at the drink, it was clear that you were not going to spend the night alone anymore. The girl, who hadn’t even told you her name yet, looked at you from time to time, checking how you got the drink out of the corner of her eye. When you caught her staring at you, she smiled shyly with her perfect dimple and went back to her work. Your night was going to be great. You were sure of that.
LAST NIGHT
You tried to go to the bar almost every day after meeting the red-haired girl, but all this college stuff was throwing you off. It was getting harder for you to do the assignment given to you without being sober, but luckily, you somehow finished them all, or rather you had them done, and the only thing left was that you owed a meal to the people you had them do. It wasn’t much of a problem either, you weren’t really interested in school anyway. If there’ was one thing you were really into right then, it was that bartender whose name you finally learned. Ellie.
You had a more than good relationship with Ellie. After the bar closed, you or she were always so busy telling each other things that you didn’t even know how the time passed. Sometimes one of you said something embarrassing and you blushed up your ass, but you got used to it. Ellie was a really nice person. Although what he’s been through isn’t very good. You loved her. You actually thought there was something more than something. Maybe love?
You drank as you spoke , even drank to the hilt, and didn’t hesitate to do silly things. It’s like you were made for each other. The way Ellie looked at you in those eyes was so deep, longing and eager that you couldn’t help yourself. She had no intention of keeping it to her either.
That evening, you happily entered the bar again, with the comfort of finishing your homework. Before you walk right in, you take a look at yourself in the mirror and rejoice at how sexy you look. Impressing Ellie was easier than you thought. It had already been so easy for her to influence you, which was an indisputable issue. Since the moment you saw the girl, or rather every time you saw her, your palms were sweating madly and you were trying hard not to jump on her.
Sensual and insane.
You quickened your steps towards where she was, but it wasn’t that easy from the people dancing around you. You wanted to go to her right away and explain why you didn’t come yesterday. You sat down on the chair in disappointment when you looked to the side where she always stood and saw that she wasn’t even there, that there was no one in her place. However, you wanted this evening to be different from other evenings. You looked around with hope.
“Lookin’ for me, babe? “ Your eyes widened at her voice and you almost jumped on her, but that was not possible because of the table in front of you. If you had done something like that, you would probably have gone to the ground with embarrassment. “ Where were you? “ He shrugged his shoulders and waved her hand as saying never mind.
“ Usual? “ “ Yeah, but your usual. I- I want yours. “ She nodded and quickly prepared the drink and placed it in front of you. This attraction between you was driving you crazy, you wanted it more and more each time. You wanted to explain yourself. “ I had some work to do yesterday, so- “ “ It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
You took a sip of your drink and nodded at her understanding. You didn’t even know exactly what was going on between you guys, and what was this willingness to explain yourself? You may have been nothing more than a friend to her, but at the same time, it didn’t feel that way at all. Maybe you were having such thoughts in your head. You couldn’t even taste the drink you were drinking properly anymore because of the tingling in your stomach. With a grimace, you pushed the drink away from you. “Hey. What- what about doing something different tonight? I mean If you want to. “ She smiled and nodded as her beautiful dimples came out.
“Yeah, of course babe. “ You were used to her calling you babe, it didn’t seem like anything different anymore. She started saying this word the day after you met, but each time it aroused different feelings in you. It’s like the pain you feel in your lower side. Every time you tried to ignore it, was difficult as Ellie talked or touched somewhere on you. You didn’t want this night to be the usual. You wanted tonight to be different.
“ Well, let’s not drink the usual one then If we’re doing the different things.”
In a sexy stride that makes you feel like it’s slow motion ,she leaned in front of the table, leaned close to your ear, and in a sexy voice, she said "Let our bodies talk If we’re doing the unusual, baby. ” . She bit your earlobe without pulling back. You shuddered and your eyes opened wide at what he said. That’s when you realized that your feelings were not reciprocated. You were happy about this and with the excitement and some joy inside you started to wait for the closing of the bar with excitement.
After a few hours of waiting, it was finally the closing time of the bar and almost everyone had left. Ellie had taken you and herself to her apartment above the bar to change, and you were watching her take off her clothes on the edge of her bed. She was moving slowly again, but you couldn’t really stand it anymore. The pain under you was growing more and more, it was making you squirm badly.
Just as she was taking off her pants, you jumped on her and quickly pushed her onto the bed. You pulled off the trousers that she had taken off in half and took them off her feet and immediately started to take off your own top. She put her hands on top of your, tooking off your shirt, tossed it aside to be not found in the morning. Her eyes lit up when she saw your breasts overflowing from the edge of your bra. She lifted her head from the bed and sucked on there, turning you into a whirlwind with little kisses. “ Fuck baby you’re so fuckin’ beautiful and you’re mine, right? “ You nooded your head and kissed her as you leaned down on her and moaned to her lips. Your kiss was soft but sensual. It was almost unbearable, and you both knew it.
“ I want to fuck you, Ellie. “ “You and me both , babygirl. “ You groaned against her word. You split both of Ellie’s legs, kissing both of them separately before coming to her clit. It was like she was writhing on you. You are satisfied. You quickly peeled off her panties from her leg and buried your mouth there in no time. “Fuck, baby your mouth. Fuck it’s so good. “ She ran her fingers through your hair and made you press yourself against her. You pulled your mouth out of there and spit on your fingers and stuck two fingers in her hole without practice. Although she cried out in pain, she got used to it later and this time she started to moan with pleasure.
“Y/N, I don’t wanna come yet. Please let me fuck you too. “ Without raising your mouth too much, you said ” Me first, Ellie. I want to devour you. You’re so tasty. “
“ I want to know how you taste too, baby. Please. “ You groaned and let her lay you on your back.
You can’t remember when you got so undressed and came close to having an orgasm, but the best orgasm of your life was about to await you.
She sat with her legs spread out and took you in her lap. You brought your hands to her beautiful little face and deepened your kiss. You took your place by her leg and started rubbing yourself on her. “Yes babygirl, keep goin’. Good girl. “ Saying these things only made you go faster. Her leg was terribly wet, but she didn’t even care.
When she least expected it, you stuck your fingers in her hole as you continued to kiss her. She groaned and thrust her hips against your fingers, which also made your leg wobble, making it even easier for you to rub. You were so close. Your moans and pleasure screams filled the room.
“Fuck baby. Yess. Come on. Cum for me. “
“Ellie!” you shouted, mixed with a moan. “I can’t no more. “
“I know baby. Cu-Cum for me. “
After that, you both came convulsively. Your legs were sore and cramped from too much rubbing. Ellie had already thrown herself into bed and she was out of breath. You laughed and got on top of her. After placing one last small kiss on her lips, you wrapped your arms around each other and surrendered yourself to sleep.
Guys guys guyss!! This gave me Modern Joel Miller and Reader vibes 🥺🥺 They're so cute, just look at them 🥵💫
