Dc Hcs - Tumblr Posts

Favorite headcanon of mine is that Tim and Damian have to constantly deal with their friends crushing on Batman and Nightwing.

Kon Kent: How old is your brother—

Tim: TOO OLD FOR YOU, AND HE’S MARRIED

Damian pretends he didn’t just hear a civilian say “smash” to Batman in a smash or pass/FMK.

Tim lives in Fear of Bernard in particular saying ANYTHING about the Batfam. Bernard says he’d let Batman raw him and Tim’s ready to off himself.

Damian just seethes every time Garfield looks ready to tell the equivalent of a “me and your mom last night” joke about Dick.

Where did Tim learn to read people? Gossiping old ladies at galas. He would sit with them as they pointed out different guests, indicated a slight difference, and then accurately depicted what skeletons their closet held.

Lady 1: "Did you see what cufflinks John Wess had on?"

Lady 2: "Oh? They're the ones inherited by his father? It looks like we'll be reading about a divorce by the end of the year."

Tim: *purposefully playing up his naive clueless innocence so he can learn their skills*

Lady 4: "Oh. It seems Rebecca Till has sunset orange lipstick on tonight."

Lady 2: *sighs and starts chugging her champagne*

Lady 3: "Ha! You all owe me a social favor now. I told you she was sleeping with the mayor."

Tim: *startles as he looks at Ms. Till's lipstick and then back at the ladies confused how those add up*