Douche - Tumblr Posts
Loving the work so far. If you're taking asks, I've got a simple wish. I'm a boring average gay dude working in my college's art department, I've always wondered what it'd be to be a dumb, straight douchebag. think you can make it happen?
That’s quite a simple request. You see, the lifestyle of a dumb straight douche is very easy to craft. We’ll start with that pesky brain of yours. Your above average intellect diminishes until you’re so dumb it’s a wonder you ever passed middle school. The comes your sexuality. Now, being gay isn’t a bad thing but it’s common to wish to be straight. You’re straight now and due to your, let me say, low intelligence, you can’t even see women as much besides a toy for you to use to get off. The douchebag part comes naturally to your straight dumbass self. You easily accept the “fact” that you’re the ideal man, strong, dumb, with a high sperm count and sex drive. You look down on all that aren’t eerily similar to you. There you go. Now you’re exactly what you wanted, a dumb, straight douchebag.
Student Becomes the Teacher
It was a familiar experience to me, getting in my car, going to class early, doing homework. Felt nice. Of course what was also familiar was the bullying. You see I had recently gotten fired and had a wake up call. I needed to do something better with my life. So what did I do? i, as someone so smart would do, joined a technical institute. I went into a more financial side though. This did not make me popular with my classmates who had been there longer, were usually older, and most of which were more hands on.
They would call me a nerd, a loser, and a geek. Of course I didn't care all too much about this. Harassment was just that, and quite frankly it was some annoying dumb ass adults who couldn't even think straight enough to get a job that was actually needed. This attitude also made me very unpopular. So unpopular a teacher complained. Why? Cause he had heard some of the stuff me and my field would say about the welders.
It was just stuff like how they're stupid, all have at least one DUI, won't amount to anything. Stuff like that. He went so far to complain to the head administrator of the school. Now he used to be an electrician so he knew how it was to be hands on. He loved hearing about all of this and hatched a plan. The workload for the welders had been pretty overwhelming for just one instructor...
It was only a few days before I heard murmurs of a new instructor coming on campus, of course it was some welder... not like my section could get anything. But that same week I was called into an office at campus. I expected nothing much, maybe an odd thing I lost, although what it was I could not imagine... what I didn't expect was the head administrator.
"Hello [Y/N], we just wanted to talk to you today." Oh god what was it about, he could see how nervous I was. It was humiliating but also I needed to try and keep cool. "We had received some complaints about your attitude towards the welders and electricians, I just wanted to go through a few questions with you, that ok?"
Without knowing what to do I nodded, "Y-yes sir." I gulped a bit.
"Good, so first... is it true you had said to Taylor that he was a... no good stoner with no future? Is that true?" I tried to shake my head no but it went the opposite way. "Ah, glad you were honest with me. Well... you know here we like to give second chances to anyone right?" I shook my head in agreement. "In that case, any felonies you have?"
What felonies? What kind of- "Yeah, actually I've had a dui or two, got arrested for a fight or two... or more." What was I saying?! What the hell?!
"I appreciate your honesty... Tom was it?" What kind of name was that? It wasn't my name at all? Wait why did I nod?! "Yeah, well that's gonna be tough but your students generally would relate. The head administrator smiled at me. "We can wave those away since your track record for your work is pretty good."
"Glad to hear that." I said again in that weird voice. What the hell was happening... why did I suddenly remember welding and shit... What the hell...
"Yeah... I think you'll fit right in, Tom." Why was he being so devilish right now?!
"Thanks man, really need this." I chuckled as I stood up and walked out of the room. "Startin next thursday right?"
"Yup! Just wear somethin like that when you come in! We'll get a shirt in your size soon!" He laughed as I walked out, the window in the door showing a new reflection.
My face was more dashing, a bit older as well. My hair was messy but in an almost purposeful way. My body had grown quite a bit of muscle now... hair as well. Tattoos had been put on my body frivolously! I looked like some typical douche bag!
I walked through the halls, trying to see on my phone what had happened. My background was a picture of a motorcycle. Jessie... what? Who the hell was Jessie? My contacts had some girls in there and some guys I had no clue who they were. Going through the messages they were my drinking buddies and some hookups.
I continued until the electrician teacher stopped to talk. "Hey are you..." I wanted to say my actual name but that didn't pop out.
"Yeah, name's Thomas Wylder. You can just call me Tom though." I smiled at her... it was like my body moved on it's own. "New teacher here, welding." Wait...
We started to talk in the hall for a bit, just about staff in the school and how the welders were. She described them as younger than me and rowdy. I would make douchey comments or state shit about my life. Where I now lived, how many years I had been a welder and in the union. It was like I wasn't even me anymore. Eventually I cut it short, needing to go do some "tasks" at my home.
I went outside to find it... the same motorcycle from the picture. Jessie. I put on a leather jacket and no helmet... I could ride it with no issue though. I was still wondering how or why this happened. It was as if I was... no... the head administrator wouldn't do that would he?
I eventually got back to wherever my home was. Beaten up shithole kinda... not in a good neighborhood either. I waved to a neighbor and went in. Smelt like shit, I reached in my pocket and took out a cig and started smoking... no... I was the worst kind of person. The kind I hated. Dumb, arrogant, douchey, and toxic! It was awful!
2 MONTHS HAD GONE BY
I was now regularly teaching the class, about two weeks into this hellish experience I had started to regain full control of my life. While I tried to actually stop these worse traits, I couldn't. By that point they were ingrained into me. Now I acted like a douchey teacher, the kinds you hate. The ones that will just tease or make fun of nerdy kids. Of course I was well loved by the staff and my students.
I worked as a welder and taught the trade now. I hated it... but it gave me money to pay the lifestyle I never wanted. I don't think I deserved this but... I'm slowly coming around to it. I feel more confident and hey, I even hang out with some of the douchebags I had teach me when I went here... god I sound so old now... I hope someday I can reverse this before it's way too late.
Acting The Part
I was a film student, that means I had to play a lot of roles. Mostly, however, I remained the one behind the cameras. Why? Well it was simply because I was pretty humble... in my own words, others would call me shy and reserved.
I had a project coming up, a final film for the semester. Had to be within the genre we were working for an unfortunately for me that was romance. I was not good with romance, obviously of course. I was shy. So... that was why I partnered up with a few buddies, Chris, Tony, Danielle, and Skylar. It was an optional group project due to how big it was. Unfortunately one guy who was left out was Brian. A total douche, called himself a sigma and everything. Totally full of himself.
Saw himself being the star too, always was in the movies... although with his ripped abs, jawline, and general physique... it was obvious why he thought he would be in the group... so we started scripting. It went well at first, that was until Brian started butting in. Asked if his girlfriend could be the love interest. This was supposed to be a group project and so we said no, Danielle would be covering that part. He whined about it until Skylar came up to me to ask something. "Do we need Brian here?" He asked softly, so he didn't actually hear. He was off arguing with Tony again, Go figure.
"Well... I did have an idea..." I admitted. Of course this idea was also a bit rude. We would simply do the script without him. Meetup some times, make excuses. It worked for a while until he started to get suspicious. He was stupid but he wasn't that stupid.
About a week into scripting, everything was coming out well. We almost had it done and we even had a role for Brian! Now we weren't going to tell him until the day of, and seeing how he needed this for a good grade... he'd have to go along with it. Well that was what I thought until he stopped me on the way to a class. "Hey [Y/N], how's it hangin." He put his hand beside my head as I leaned against the wall. He asked a simple question, quite friendly too... if it wasn't for his threatening tone. "Been a while, started to think my film partner died. That would have been bad." He chuckled and let up a bit. "Why don't we talk about the script for a bit. "I uh..." I tried to speak up but he put his hand on my back as he walked me away from the class I had next.
"You say somethin? No? Okay well good, we're goin someplace nice and comfortable." He started to walk me out of the building and through the campus. Some people stared at us, I mean a star football player and some film student would draw some eyes. Eventually we got to the bleachers of the football stadium. It was super empty and due to Brian having a part time job cleaning the place he had keys.
We sat down on some metal bleachers near the announcer's box and he had me get out my laptop. "So, run me through the script. Last I heard I was going to be the star?" He smirked a bit. This would be hard to break.
"Well uh... I'll just uh... we made some changes but everything's still very flexible!" I tried to assure him. I started at where it would begin, a nerd getting bullied. The bully was played by... Brian. he wasn't too happy but was willing to hear me out. Then I went through the story slower, more cautiously to not offend the giant oaf. Stuff about the nerds banding together... having a fun time and ultimately the nerd getting the nerdy chick. Danielle was supposed to play the nerdy girl, Skylar wanted to be the main character. I would be the camera man and director. Brian looked annoyed. "So... this sucks."
"Wait what? What about it sucks? Is it just because you're not the main star? You know what'd be weird." I tried to fight back. It was partially my script.
"Lemme guess, your buddy Skylar wrote a lot of it." I looked down and did have to agree... so I nodded, Skylar was a great writer though! "Look man, I know you don't like being in front of the camera and stuff but this might be your last little movie, why not have fun with it? How is this fair to you at all?" Wait was Brian sticking up for me?
"I uh... I guess it's not... But I don't really like being the star." I looked at the bigger guy who was now being oddly nice.
He sighed. "Yeah, and I'm not sayin you have to be. I mean you gave me a pretty raw deal." Brian looked oddly sad.
I was always the one to make peace... god damn it... would I really do this? I had to... "Well uh... what would you propose to change that stuff?" I asked, nervous to what he would propose.
"Well, here's my idea. We swap some roles around. Make it better for all of us. Skylar can run the camera this time, he always gets to be in front of it." I nodded, Skylar could be a competent camera man... "Glad you agree, then I can take his role as a nerd and you can be the rival... hell maybe you can get your own babe out of it."
"Wait, what?" I looked at the big guy confused. Him? The nerd? No way. And me as the rival? How the hell would I do that? "I don't think that'll work. I mean we should cast for what we're good at and..."
Brian cut me off, "Yeah and I'm pretty nice, right?" I looked at him, he was looking me right in the eyes. I nodded, not wanting to be rude. "Exactly! So I should be given the chance to play a fun nice guy!" His smile was reassuring but I still had issues.
"Yeah but I really don't think people will buy me as a douchebag..." I sighed and scratched my head. It was true. I was smaller, weaker, and dorky as hell.
"Well, sure, right now you don't but trust me! I got some ideas that can help you! But it's what someone would call... method acting. Probably heard of it."
"That sounds like a dumb idea, I'll be honest. I mean... that'll just get me bullied.... more than usual at least." I sighed, feeling like this was going nowhere.
"Nah, trust me bro. I mean if you stick with me I'll vouch."
"But I barely have any classes with you aside from film related ones." I looked a bit confused. How would that work.
"Well here's the deal. I can talk to my professors, tell them you wanna do some stuff and I'm sure with a little flexing of my status... we can get you in for the few more weeks or months we have left of class this semester. It's not gonna be much, mister straight As." He was going to do that for me?
"I guess... I could see how this goes... I could use a break before my other finals..." I chuckled a bit nervously, which made him pat my back, almost flinging me out of my seat.
"There we go! Here's my phone number and..." He grabbed my phone and put his number and contacts in, "We should be good to go, send me a link to the script btw! Gotta work on that thing!
That night I sent him the link, and felt oddly nervous about this. I mean... it was like starting a whole new life! I hadn't been in front of the cameras in a while so that would be nerve racking too! Brian's advice was to "Not think about it." Seemed he could go his whole life without thinking about much.
The next day we spent working out, and working on attitude. His girlfriend Tori came over during some of it and Brian said it would be a great time to practice confidence. I didn't nail it. He had a good laugh though and she took it in stride. Overall a good Saturday.
The day after that we worked on some more muscle, while also just hanging out again... this time some of his douchey friends came over. He was saying this was both confidence and some experience training. Like being in job training. Eventually I somewhat grew accustomed to them. They all were charismatic and handsome too. I felt oddly at home near some of them, hell I even threw some insults back at them when they came my way. I wasn't great at it yet.
Day three of this shit and I was now walking around with Brian and his little group. Seemed most of them had the same classes. I got stopped in the hall though by a classmate. He tried to direct me to class but... as per a whispered instruction... I mocked him and his shit haircut. After classes we worked out, seemed like this was something I had to do... Brian and Tanner, one of Brian's friends who was more in on it, said this was to make me not sound like a dork when referencing sports and shit. Good reason...
My the next week I was already feeling the burn. Skylar and the others were a bit pissed at me for blowing off our group meetings for hangouts with Brian and his crew. I told him I was method acting and he should get off my case. Well he didn't take it too well. "Well maybe you should stop being in our fucking shit if you like Brian that much!" That was a bad insult.
I yelled back. "Well, maybe if you didn't try to hog the limelight all the time I wouldn't be doing this shit!" It kind of just came out of me. For some reason... Skylar looked a bit... weaker and smaller than me. "Besides, not like you could even carry a movie with that fuckin acne." I may have went too far, he looked pissed and I felt awful. He stormed off leaving me alone...
I had a party that night, at the frat. Brian noticed me looking down the entire time. Came to comfort me. "Bro, trust me. He deserved it. I mean he's always been pushing you back and the moment you try and get out there and have fun he tries to put you back down? Not cool, you know that."
"Yeah but... I don't wanna fuck shit up with my friends and all that." I said with a red solocup in my hand.
"Well... maybe you're better off without them. I mean the only one I see potential in is maybe Danielle." I nodded.
"Yeah, Tony is a nobody, Skylar is a pussy... And I was both. Still feel bad for Danielle." I had a crush on her before.
"Well don't go around pussyfooting. I'm sure we can change the script and as her to method act too! I mean how much fun has it been for you, Oliver."
"Oliver?" I laughed and looked at Brian, "Why'd you call me that?"
"Oh! Well I had an idea. Just a small one. I mean why not go by your character's name? You are supposed to be method acting!"
"Yeah... Oliver... that... works well." I smiled. I mean I did look like an Oliver now... or at least the character! I didn't know how but in retrospect god my body was wimpy. Now I looked fire as hell!
The next few days would be painfully awkward. Skylar would try and salvage the script, much to the annoyance of Brian and I. There were two sides clashing and I knew which one sounded better, Skylar was just doing this for himself. Eventually Brian and I started a secret document, included Danielle in there too. Got them over Discord on a call to talk about the newer idea. By now we had enough of the nice guy act. Brian thought it was way too soft... he pitched the new idea. "Why don't we, instead of doing whatever that little soy boy wants, do our own thing. Like... Why don't we do something where the bullies got some character."
Danielle was hesitant. "Well what about the others? And what would my role be?"
I had an answer already. "Well we need a camera man and Tony, by far, is the best of Skylar and him. I mean I could do it but I've worked pretty hard."
"[Y/N]..." Danielle sighed, She was getting tired of this.
"Dani, it's Oliver or Ollie. I'm taking it pretty serious as you can see." I smiled. into the webcam which I never used before... hell my whole profile changed. Near daily pics of me were my banner and icon instead of some anime boy.
Brian nodded a bit. "So, we want you in this film too Dani, you're a great actress but we want you to practice your new role. You'll be Ollie's bitchy GF, like a mean girl kinda thing."
"But that isn't...." She got cut off by me again.
"Look, Dani... I know it ain't your style but this isn't mine either. To be a star you have to make sacrifices, and playing the part is the thing. I already asked and Tori can help you get into role. And hey, we can hang more if you do... I mean if you want my place is pretty open." It was an invite to fuck. By now I was still a virgin, even if Brian tried to change that many times.
"Okay..." She finally agreed. Thank god this was getting annoying.
Eventually we got our crew together. Some guys from the soccer team for scrawnier nerds, some guys from Brian's crew to be our friends and... Danielle was coming along fine. My type had shifted a bit, especially now that I could have options... they were molding her real nicely.
Skylar soon got wind of our plan but by now it was too late to stop. I was getting ready for the first day of filming. I had my body in peak performance, all done up by one of Tori's friends. And he came over to yell at me. Not congratulate me. By this point I just had Alex, one of Brian and I's friends walk him off the little set we staged. Students would be happy to actually get in this film. I mean we were big stars around campus and we knew it.
People loved how I changed. I became a star. I mean... with my now blonde hair, scuffy facial hair, ripped abs, giant body... who wouldn't. Brian helped me realize something. I was made to be in front of the cameras. I was made to be a star. Danielle would realize that in time too.
As for the filming... it went spectacular. We all got great grades, hell... we started helping Tony out with getting better himself! I mean... we'd need it if we wanted to make more of these. It was a fun parody film... even if it was meant to be serious. The audience didn't get it but whateves. Wasn't my problem. I just didn't have to think too hard about it.
Within months I asked out Danielle, she said yes... of course. We became a new power couple. I urged her to join a sports team like I was doing. I started football like Brian. We did well as a team... also started power lifting and by god I was great! Danielle did gymnastics and by god was she flexible. Eventually I had my name changed. I was welcomed into Brian's family pretty easily too... so I adopted his last name. We were the Greene brothers.... started small with acting and sports but soon, through some modeling and commercials... we started getting big.
As for Skylar... who knows what became of that no name wannabe. He didn't take his shot. Maybe if he was more eager he could have ended up as a male model like Tony. Eh, not my problem. I just played my part and helped everyone around me. That's what being a star is for... you play your part and you like it... And I love it.
Kill Bill
You were going to kill him.
You and bakugo weren’t always like this. Believe it or not, you two used to have a very secure and healthy relationship but that was before he got caught up in his own arrogance and attention from students on campus. I mean being ranked the no.10 pro hero while freshly in his senior year of college was a pretty impressive accomplishment but now? 4 years later you were nothing but an afterthought.
chapter one
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𝙖/𝙣 !! so this is like my first time writing something & i’m not too sure on how to write a summary so bare w me 😭 but basically bakugo & reader started dating in their junior year of highschool. (somewhat) rising to fame whilst still being a college student was bound to attract attention from girls & guys alike which got to his head & made him even more cocky if that’s possible. he never cheats on reader but he’s not exactly faithful 😟 they keep going back to each other bc yk they’re both madly in love but crazy toxic.. reader kinda has this ‘don’t fuck w me’ aura & she’s just as popular as bakugo. n bakugo is jus a major douche. he gets attention from other girls & she gets attention from other guys. it’s definitely an on & off again relationship.
anyways i hope i explained it well, leave some tips for me! idk if anyone will see this or even like this plot lmao
Shia LaBeouf! Ok so he's commin off like a douché these days and looks like he smells, but who cares! Look at him. Yum!
I do enjoy a sauna!
One afternoon on the field and the new recruit is already doucheifying
What are they putting in that Gatorade, bro
🇺🇸💪🏻
Contemporary Family Room - Family Room
Inspiration for a large contemporary open concept ceramic tile and brown floor family room remodel with a bar, beige walls, a standard fireplace and a media wall
one day I’ll disappear and you won’t know when I’ll be back