Dv Recovery - Tumblr Posts

Damper

It was bound to happen eventually. Truthfully I was expecting it to happen sooner, so I guess my surprise comes from having dodged it this long.

I flipped shit while in the process of having sex last night.

I couldn't even look at her. Even when I did to assure her that I was alright (I wasn't) I looked through her. I couldn't explain what happened; I still can't.

In the positive category, she did everything she was supposed to. She ceased immediately when she realized something was wrong. She held me, left me alone when i needed it, and then held me again when I needed that. She's supportive though a bit ( understandably) bewildered.

She keeps asking what she did that triggered me. I think I'm most upset that I don't know what happened, and despite my "You didn't do anything wrong" she knows that I can't say definitively that it wasn't something she did.

Mother's Day has been an interesting time each year since my abortion. I'm in my 30s, so people often wish me Happy Mother's Day.

This year it didn't hurt.

Reminder to any of you out there facing a difficult decision: sadness and regret are not the same thing.

Sad Things.

I found a list of names. If things had been different and I had a girl, we would have called her Alice.