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Midnight - Adam Stanheight / Reader
You woke up, hot and hungry. Your dinner last night was small, and you were regretting eating so little. At first it was just an assumption that, maybe you’d be okay until morning, but now you weren’t so sure. You reached for the lamp on the bedside table, but it didn’t turn on. Miserably, you turned the switch several more times, to no avail. You decided that the lamp was broken and lazily searched for your mobile phone. It should have been in the drawer, but alas, you found it empty. It was then that you realized you would have to get up. That should have been given from the beginning however, seeing as you did not have your fridge in your bedroom. Reluctantly you left the warmth of the bed, and the comfort of your boyfriend.
The air was chilly, because you and Adam had left the windows open after nearly burning the eggs from dinner. Now you wished you hadn’t done that. You stumbled through the laundry mess and over to the door, where you stretched out an arm fearlessly. Your fingers fumbled with the light switch, which was sticky, and finally forced it up. The lights remained off, much to your disapproval.
Frowning, you thought about your situation. The lamp and the ceiling lights weren’t working, there was a raging thunderstorm outside as well. The rain pounded on the rooftop, and sent raindrops spiraling into the living room, probably drenching the couch and the rug by now. Perhaps, the power had gone out?
You headed into the kitchen, not wanting to deal with the wet furniture by the window, and ate a quick snack which consisted of (favorite crackers) and a glass of water. When you came back, you heard Adam ask, “Did your lamp turn on?”
“No,” you answered flatly, not even registering the fact that Adam was awake right now.
“What were you doing?”
“Eating,” you said sincerely. “I think the power’s out,” you added dishearteningly.
“Well,” Adam grumbled. “It was probably the storm. Oh shit, the windows are open!”
“Yeah,” you replied desolately. “Everything’s drenched.”
“Great.” Adam stretched out an arm towards you but you couldn’t see it. “Come’re.”
You tried to look for him in the darkness, but didn’t succeed in the slightest. You reached for the light switch automatically. The lights did not turn on. “Okay.”
You stumbled through the room blindly, arms outstretched and head ducked down so as to not hit it against anything. This proved difficult because now you couldn’t see where you were going. But this wouldn’t have mattered anyway, even if you’d had your head up; you couldn’t see in the darkness either.
After some shuffling around aimlessly, you found the bottom of the bed, and hauled yourself onto it. Crawling over to the pillows, you tried to find Adam with your hands. Your attempts were futile, so you just focused on going up; straight to the headboard. This was an easy task, it was afterwards that was hard.
“I can’t see you, baby,” you pointed out in annoyance. You weren’t annoyed at Adam, but rather the situation.
“Here,” Adam said from somewhere to the left of you. He reached out, seemingly confident that he could find you, and was extremely disappointed. “Okay. Fair enough.”
But this did not satisfy you. You wouldn’t give up that easily. You leaned to the right stiffly, your arms straight out like sticks. You waved them around recklessly, until one of your hands flew into the headboard with a thwack. It hurt more than it should have, and you flinched, sucking in a sharp breath. You pulled your arms to your sides, and clutched your left hand to your chest.
“Are you okay?” Adam asked you in alarm. He was sitting up now, but you, unfortunately, couldn’t see him. “Y/N? What happened?”
“Nothing,” you muttered, your hand throbbing painfully. Maybe you had hit it a little harder than you’d first thought. “Where are you?”
“I’m over here,” Answered Adam.
“Over where?”
“On the right.”
“Well, that doesn’t help me. Are you IN the bed?”
Adam laughed. “Of course I’m IN it. Why would I be out in the cold?”
Sliding over, you crashed into your boyfriend. “Oh!” You exclaimed. “F-Found you.”
Adam tried to wrap an arm around your shoulders, but only ended up hitting you over the head with his elbow. You grunted, and a million little apologies erupted from Adam instantaneously. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry, oh god, did I hurt you?”
“No,” you assured him vehemently. “It’s fine.”
You snuggled up against Adam clumsily, and after a couple of seconds you managed to rest your head on his shoulder. You helped him find your waist, and he put his arm around it gently. “I love you,” Adam said into the darkness suddenly.
It didn’t surprise you to hear that; he always tried to express himself as much as possible. The only thing that surprised you was that he was choosing now to do it. Either way, of course, you would never pass up the opportunity to reply to that. “I love you, too, Adam,” you whispered happily.
“What time is it?” He inquired. “It looks like it’s two AM.”
“I don’t know,” you responded irritatedly. “I can’t find my goddamn phone.”
“No worries,” Adam said and pulled away from you, making your entire right side cold. He went rummaging around in his drawer for a couple of seconds, then cursed. “Mine’s not here either.”
“Well, sh-”
“Wait a minute,” he interrupted. “I can’t find you anymore…”
Your hopes had been crushed. For a moment, you’d thought Adam had found something related to the time, but he wasn’t even thinking about that anymore. You sighed. “Who’s fault is that?”
Adam only tried to kiss you in response. You figured this out when he asked, “Where’s your head?”
“Uhh.” You couldn’t think of a way to answer that. “I don’t know. Where’s YOUR head?”
“Right here,” Adam’s voice sounded right in front of you, making you flinch in surprise. You hadn’t been expecting him to be so close.
“Oh… I didn’t see you there.”
“Wow,” Adam whispered wryly. “It’s almost like… the lights are off.”
You chuckled halfheartedly. “Can… Can I go back to sleep now?” You wondered tiredly. You had work in the morning, and you would have loved to get some beauty sleep before then.
“Awe,” Adam sighed disappointedly. “You want to leave me in the darkness?”
“I want to go to sleep,” you retorted.
Adam stared at you - well in the general direction of you. “But I don’t want you to go…” he whispered.
“I’m not going anywhere. But you’ll have all the time in the world to talk to me tomorrow.”
“Wait,” Adam insisted.
“You should get some rest, too, you know,” you added.
“I’ll go back to sleep,” Adam assured you unconvincingly. “There’s something I want to do first…”
“What?”
“Come here,” Adam told you firmly.
Scoffing, you asked annoyedly, “How? How do you expect me to find you when I can barely see my hands in front of my own eyes?”
“Like this,” Adam leaned forward, using your voice to guide him, and then satisfyingly started kissing you - or was it so satisfying?
His mouth had NEARLY made it to yours, but it hadn’t overall. He had managed to find the corner of your mouth, but mostly your left cheek. You turned your head to the left, connecting your lips to his. You were finding this situation quite comedic, despite it being almost embarrassing.
You both shared a long kiss. Adam pushed you down so that you were on your back with your arms around his shoulders. “Are you SURE I can’t convince you to stay up with me?”
Instinctively you tilted your head back to look at the digital clock that was on your nightstand. It was blank, and you were reminded abruptly of the electricity being out. “Adam-”
Adam kissed you again, surprisingly getting on your lips this time. You could feel the smirk forming on his face. It made his kissing less aggressive but you enjoyed it. “Are you REALLY sure?”
Adam was starting to make you question your responsibility. You did have work in the morning, and sleep really would be beneficial for the both of you, but right now… you would easily stay awake with Adam… In other words, you weren’t sure you could not be convinced to stay awake with Adam. “Well,” you said sheepishly, a light blush covering your cheeks. It was invisible in the darkness. “I guess it won’t hurt this one time…”
Adam was thrilled with this revelation. He started kissing you again, but his lips were off centered. You laughed a little at this, and turned his head slightly to the right. “I’m HERE, baby.”
Faulkner grumbled, seemingly embarrassed. “Sorry. I can’t see what I’m doing.”
You put your hands in his hair. “No worries. I don’t mind.”
Adam slid his hands up your shirt, and you leaned further into the mattress, enjoying the feeling of his hands on your skin. You kissed him harder, deeper. You couldn’t even begin to express just how much you loved him - but damn it was certainly a lot.
The atmosphere had become heated by now. Your lips were moving fast, and your breathing was coming out in short intervals between kisses. When Adam spoke again, it was only to say, “I love you so much, Y/N.”
Your heart swelled happily at his words. You felt so warm every time he said them. “I love you so much, too,” you gasped back.
“How much later do you plan on staying up?”
You thought about it for a short moment. “Well, I should probably be going back to sl-”
Before the words had left your mouth, your phone started buzzing from somewhere beneath you. “What’s that?” Adam inquired.
“My alarm,” you muttered reluctantly. “Telling me I have work.” “Oh…” Adam sounded heartbroken. “You have to leave now?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that sucks.”
Adam sat up, releasing you from his firm grasp, and allowed you to move around. You got on the floor and began feeling around for your phone. You found it under the bed, with fourteen percent of the battery. “Fuck!”
You were glad to see, however, the time! It was six AM. You couldn’t believe four hours had passed since waking up.
Adam crawled over. “What happened?”
You sat up, and ran into him. “Oof!”
Adam tumbled back. “Ow.”
“I’m sorry!” You exclaimed, getting to your feet and attempting to find the bed. You gave up halfway, and turned on your phone flashlight.
Finally, light was poured into the room. In the dim light of your phone flashlight, you could see Adam on his back, his head furthest away from you, with his hands over his face. The entire room was mostly covered in blackness still but at least you could see what was in front of you now. “Are you okay?”
Adam sat up. “Yeah. I think so… Thanks for the smack…”
You wandered over to the light switch and gave it a shove. You did not know what you had been expecting, but the lights all remained turned off. “I’m going to work,” you called over your shoulder.
Adam chased after you. “Wait!” He grabbed his flannel from off the floor, and slung it over his shoulders. “Don’t leave without breakfast.”
“Baby. I have breakfast on the way, silly.”
Adam scowled at you. “Okay, well, at least give me a hug.”
You rolled your eyes, but you pulled your boyfriend into a loving embrace. “Love you.”
“I love you, too.”
You made for the door hastily, not really intending to be in any kind of hurry, and stepped out of the apartment. You enjoyed working at your job, but… you would much rather be at home with Adam, and you weren’t going to deny it: you were excited for the time when you had to come home.
Go to Sleep - Adam Stanheight / Reader
A/N This one was inspired by Melanie Martinez’s song ‘A thousand Words’. Some parts of the song really made me relate to Adam, so… I know I said I would post it at night but I have high confidence right now. Enjoy!
Nothing had been normal after Adam’s passing. You had never felt so cold before in your life. You hadn’t eaten a full meal for the last two weeks, but… you weren’t hungry. The crackers and the coffee were enough to get you through the day. It was nearing the end of the cold season, you and Adam had made plans for April but it looked like they wouldn’t be happening anymore. You didn’t know how to feel. All you knew was that you missed the one person that you desired. Adam Stanheight. But he was never coming back to you.
It was dark outside, eleven’o’clock at night on a Friday. It was unusual to see the bed empty even though it had been so long since Adam’s death. You couldn’t get your mind around that concept. He had his whole life in front of him, how had it been taken away from him so quickly?
You grasped the bedsheets miserably, trying to go back to sleep. You were tired, but your mind was active; you didn’t want to go to sleep. The bed was cold, and you were not used to it anymore. You missed how it felt when he was with you. You remembered his hands on your skin, his lips on your mouth, and his voice in your ears. But mostly you could still see his face in your eyes. It strangled you, defeated you, and corrupted you. Desperately, you wanted to reach into that image and be WITH Adam. Be with him one more time. But that could never happen, and it never would.
Your ears rang with the sound of your crying, your voice was sore, and your brain was fried. The phantom feeling of Adam’s arms around you, caressing you, drove you mad.
“I miss you,” you whispered to the empty room. “I had so many things to show you. So many things to do with you. So many things to say to you; so many things to talk about! And you were plucked right away from me like the last berry on the vine. Nothing more than a berry on the vine. That’s all. That’s all you are. That’s all you were.”
You closed your eyes, rolling your head to the side.
What happened to us? You wondered. We were young and healthy.
You let out a couple of strangled sobs, before getting up and walking over to the camera resting on the dresser. It had been two weeks since you had picked it up, but now you couldn’t stop yourself. You missed Adam, and all your memories were inside his most prized possession - his camera.
Well, that would have been his second most prized possession, because first place always went to one person: me.
You took the camera in your hands. It was cold and dusty, but still had its shine and its worth. You studied it for a short moment, then delicately pressed the power button on the top. It flickered on with a bright, white, light. It blinded you for a few seconds, but you recovered swiftly, eagerly.
You looked over the first couple of pictures plainly, not feeling anything - or at least trying not to. But when you skipped to the end you found the most recent pictures of Adam. Your heart collapsed into a bunch of glass shards. You flipped through the photos continuously, gradually getting faster and faster with every passing second. Taking in every detail of every photo, you crumpled to the floor, trying not to howl; your neighbors were all asleep at the moment.
Adam had given his heart to you, and it had been ripped out of your hands so mercilessly. You gathered yourself up, and shoved the camera onto the dresser again. Clearly, you were not ready to look at these quite yet. As you got to your feet, you could see out the window that was positioned up above the headboard. Dawn was peeking through the shutters, light blue creeping into the apartment, and purple streaks painting the sky; the sun was coming up. Hastily, you snatched up the camera and raced for the front door. These were the mornings that you and Adam would pose for pictures and take photoshoots of the sky. You weren’t about to lose this opportunity; you’d perform anything to make Adam's spirit last longer.
You knelt on the ground, the doorstep was cold, and raised the camera to your eyes. You snapped a picture of the sky, nostalgia eating you alive. You could almost feel Adam’s warm body pressing up against you from behind, and his soft hands casually placing themselves around yours so as to adjust your grip on the camera.
How did you do it again? Was it like this? You took another picture, and another, and another. Adam’s advice and instructions were coming to you naturally now. You could do it all on your own.
You took several more photos until you didn’t know what to do with yourself, and then you sat down on the stairs and looked through them. Everything was perfect! They all looked exactly the way Adam would have taken them. All the angels were correct, as were the shadows and the lighting. You started humming sadly.
“Our love’s a postcard on it’s way, heading toward no destiny.”
Adam’s words still whispered in your ears and you shook your head, trying to clear it before you gave way into fantasy. But you were not fortunate enough for that. You ended up falling asleep on the pavement, lucky for you it wasn’t supposed to start raining until tomorrow evening.
"I had a thousand words to say."
Your eyes fluttered shut as you drifted off to sleep, but Adam was still engraved into your vision. His dark eyes, his dark hair, his smile, his face, his clothes… He was the last thing that you were thinking about.
"You gave me your heart, then took it back from me."
Somewhere deep inside your dreams you dreamed about him, about Adam, and it nearly killed you all the while. It was like Adam was really with you in that moment. You could hear his voice like it was physically in the room with you, lulling you to sleep.
“This isn’t real, is it?” you muttered, interrupting yourself form your singing.
And the response was so actual, you almost woke up. “How would you know, baby?”
You gazed around, trying to find where the source was coming from. “Because the mind can work itself into seeing and hearing the things that it longs to.”
A hand traveled down your back. “Hm. I think when you wake up, you will know the answer to that question.”
You shivered. “Adam,” you murmured.
“Sleep well, my love. I know you need it.”
“Wait, don’t go,” you feebly choked out.
“I don’t think I have a choice,” there was a hint of amusement in Adam’s tone - if it even was Adam talking to you. It was hard to tell, between the dreaming and waking worlds.
One last time you finished singing the last part of the song. "Close my eyes and got to sleep. You're the last thing, the last thing that I see."
The pavement was digging into your thighs and feet painfully, and the cool wind blew into your face, and the approaching thunder disappeared into the background. The position in which you slept was nothing if not uncomfortable, but this was still the best sleep you had ever had in a long, long, time. Your heart was heavy, and your mind was blank, but just like every night, as you bowed your head and closed your eyes, Adam Stanheight was the last thing that you saw, and just like every morning, he was the first thing that you thought of.
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Dilde hafif, Mizanda ağır, Rahman olan Allah'a da sevimli şu cümleleri hıfzedin.⠀
"Sübhânallâhi ve bi-hamdihi Sübhânallâhi’l-azîm Estağfirullah"⠀
Allah’ı hamd İle birlikte noksanlıklardan tenzih ederim.
Yüce Allah’ı noksanlıklardan tenzih ederim’’⠀
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HADİS-İ ŞERİF ⠀
(Ebu Hureyre رضي الله عنه) •Buhârî
Deavât 65, Eyman 19⠀
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"İnsanlara akılları ölçüsünde söz söyleyiniz"
Hadis-i Şerif | Hz Muhammed (sav)