Go To Sleep - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Go to Sleep - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one was inspired by Melanie Martinez’s song ‘A thousand Words’. Some parts of the song really made me relate to Adam, so… I know I said I would post it at night but I have high confidence right now. Enjoy!

Nothing had been normal after Adam’s passing. You had never felt so cold before in your life. You hadn’t eaten a full meal for the last two weeks, but… you weren’t hungry. The crackers and the coffee were enough to get you through the day. It was nearing the end of the cold season, you and Adam had made plans for April but it looked like they wouldn’t be happening anymore. You didn’t know how to feel. All you knew was that you missed the one person that you desired. Adam Stanheight. But he was never coming back to you.

It was dark outside, eleven’o’clock at night on a Friday. It was unusual to see the bed empty even though it had been so long since Adam’s death. You couldn’t get your mind around that concept. He had his whole life in front of him, how had it been taken away from him so quickly?

You grasped the bedsheets miserably, trying to go back to sleep. You were tired, but your mind was active; you didn’t want to go to sleep. The bed was cold, and you were not used to it anymore. You missed how it felt when he was with you. You remembered his hands on your skin, his lips on your mouth, and his voice in your ears. But mostly you could still see his face in your eyes. It strangled you, defeated you, and corrupted you. Desperately, you wanted to reach into that image and be WITH Adam. Be with him one more time. But that could never happen, and it never would.

Your ears rang with the sound of your crying, your voice was sore, and your brain was fried. The phantom feeling of Adam’s arms around you, caressing you, drove you mad.

“I miss you,” you whispered to the empty room. “I had so many things to show you. So many things to do with you. So many things to say to you; so many things to talk about! And you were plucked right away from me like the last berry on the vine. Nothing more than a berry on the vine. That’s all. That’s all you are. That’s all you were.”

You closed your eyes, rolling your head to the side.

What happened to us? You wondered. We were young and healthy.

You let out a couple of strangled sobs, before getting up and walking over to the camera resting on the dresser. It had been two weeks since you had picked it up, but now you couldn’t stop yourself. You missed Adam, and all your memories were inside his most prized possession - his camera.

Well, that would have been his second most prized possession, because first place always went to one person: me.

You took the camera in your hands. It was cold and dusty, but still had its shine and its worth. You studied it for a short moment, then delicately pressed the power button on the top. It flickered on with a bright, white, light. It blinded you for a few seconds, but you recovered swiftly, eagerly.

You looked over the first couple of pictures plainly, not feeling anything - or at least trying not to. But when you skipped to the end you found the most recent pictures of Adam. Your heart collapsed into a bunch of glass shards. You flipped through the photos continuously, gradually getting faster and faster with every passing second. Taking in every detail of every photo, you crumpled to the floor, trying not to howl; your neighbors were all asleep at the moment.

Adam had given his heart to you, and it had been ripped out of your hands so mercilessly. You gathered yourself up, and shoved the camera onto the dresser again. Clearly, you were not ready to look at these quite yet. As you got to your feet, you could see out the window that was positioned up above the headboard. Dawn was peeking through the shutters, light blue creeping into the apartment, and purple streaks painting the sky; the sun was coming up. Hastily, you snatched up the camera and raced for the front door. These were the mornings that you and Adam would pose for pictures and take photoshoots of the sky. You weren’t about to lose this opportunity; you’d perform anything to make Adam's spirit last longer.

You knelt on the ground, the doorstep was cold, and raised the camera to your eyes. You snapped a picture of the sky, nostalgia eating you alive. You could almost feel Adam’s warm body pressing up against you from behind, and his soft hands casually placing themselves around yours so as to adjust your grip on the camera.

How did you do it again? Was it like this? You took another picture, and another, and another. Adam’s advice and instructions were coming to you naturally now. You could do it all on your own.

You took several more photos until you didn’t know what to do with yourself, and then you sat down on the stairs and looked through them. Everything was perfect! They all looked exactly the way Adam would have taken them. All the angels were correct, as were the shadows and the lighting. You started humming sadly.

“Our love’s a postcard on it’s way, heading toward no destiny.”

Adam’s words still whispered in your ears and you shook your head, trying to clear it before you gave way into fantasy. But you were not fortunate enough for that. You ended up falling asleep on the pavement, lucky for you it wasn’t supposed to start raining until tomorrow evening.

"I had a thousand words to say."

Your eyes fluttered shut as you drifted off to sleep, but Adam was still engraved into your vision. His dark eyes, his dark hair, his smile, his face, his clothes… He was the last thing that you were thinking about.

"You gave me your heart, then took it back from me."

Somewhere deep inside your dreams you dreamed about him, about Adam, and it nearly killed you all the while. It was like Adam was really with you in that moment. You could hear his voice like it was physically in the room with you, lulling you to sleep.

“This isn’t real, is it?” you muttered, interrupting yourself form your singing.

And the response was so actual, you almost woke up. “How would you know, baby?”

You gazed around, trying to find where the source was coming from. “Because the mind can work itself into seeing and hearing the things that it longs to.”

A hand traveled down your back. “Hm. I think when you wake up, you will know the answer to that question.”

You shivered. “Adam,” you murmured.

“Sleep well, my love. I know you need it.”

“Wait, don’t go,” you feebly choked out.

“I don’t think I have a choice,” there was a hint of amusement in Adam’s tone - if it even was Adam talking to you. It was hard to tell, between the dreaming and waking worlds.

One last time you finished singing the last part of the song. "Close my eyes and got to sleep. You're the last thing, the last thing that I see."

The pavement was digging into your thighs and feet painfully, and the cool wind blew into your face, and the approaching thunder disappeared into the background. The position in which you slept was nothing if not uncomfortable, but this was still the best sleep you had ever had in a long, long, time. Your heart was heavy, and your mind was blank, but just like every night, as you bowed your head and closed your eyes, Adam Stanheight was the last thing that you saw, and just like every morning, he was the first thing that you thought of.

August - Adam Stanheight X Reader

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was sitting on the couch, waiting for his significant other - that would be you - to come home. You had left to grab (your favorite dessert). It wasn’t a particularly special occasion, but you both had wanted something to sweeten up your lives a little bit. Adam smoked somberly, shaping his shallow thoughts into something much more understandable. But it was all for naught, seeing as he was still in the same place of emotion that he was in when he started this expedition.

Lazily, and listlessly, Adam rearranged himself on the couch. He knew you would be disapproving when you saw that the windows were closed, but he couldn’t bring himself to open them. He was way too tired for that. All he wanted to do was lay down. He tried to keep his eyes open, but eventually found himself falling asleep while also nearly choking to death on cigarette smoke.

He coughed and sputtered until his throat was sore, and then he twisted out his cigarette. That was enough today, but he was still left with an empty feeling; his satisfaction just wasn’t quite fulfilled, and he was tempted to take another one from the box. He used what self-control he had left, and managed not to. He told himself you would be very proud of him for that.

Adam had gotten up to fix himself some tea. He barely stood up when a wave of nausea consumed him. He sank back down onto the couch miserably. He didn’t feel great at all today. Maybe that was because he hadn’t eaten yet? It was one’o’clock and he woke up at ten. Why hadn’t he had breakfast yet? Oh that’s because he got in a conversation with you and then hadn’t wanted to leave. That was reasonable, right?

Adam got to his feet clumsily, and stumbled into the kitchen, where he tried to put together a sandwich. It worked, he guessed, and he sat down to eat his breakfast slash lunch.

What would that be called? He wondered. Brunch? It was getting hot in the apartment by the time he’d finished eating. The weather was hot outside during this august afternoon. Adam felt stable again, now that he’d eaten, but something was still off. He missed his partner, F/N L/N.

He popped open the windows to let out the smoke that was building inside.

Adam reluctantly started doing some tidying. His living quarters were always messy, and it irritated the hell out of you. He decided now would be a good time to clean it up.

But as he started to pick things up from the floor, the apartment door swung gently open. Adam let his belongings fall onto the coffee table once again, as he leapt up to greet you.

When he saw you his heart fluttered. Excitement and happiness rushed through him. He found new energy to be with you! “Y/N!” He exclaimed.

You came tripping into the room, carrying in your arms a large (favorite dessert.) Adam had never been so glad to see someone in his whole life. You plopped the dessert onto the counter, and twirled happily ‘round.

Adam watched you in satisfaction, his heart melting. He pulled you into a hug, pushing you right up against his chest, and allowing you to rest your head on his shoulders. He felt you giggle and it warmed him on the inside.

You beamed up at him, your eyes glowing in jubilation. “You missed me?”

Adam sighed. “You have no idea.”

You nuzzled Adam’s nose sweetly. “Want to try the dessert?”

Adam would have loved to, but you felt so good in his arms he hardly wanted to release you. “Sure.”

You detangled yourself from his grasp, and went over to the counter, getting ready to cut your dessert into slices.

Adam watched from afar, examining his significant other as they bent slightly over the counter. You had your butt your pointed out towards him and Adam took pleasure in studying it. You looked cute standing in that position. “Nice.” He told you frankly.

You were too intent on your task to even notice Adam’s comment. You simply straightened your back and glanced at him, a smile on your face. “Go grab some plates!”

Adam did as he was told, and then came up behind you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and put two plates on the counter.

You shuffled closer to him, and Adam felt content to have you so close. You placed one slice of said dessert onto each of the plates, and then you started eating.

Adam had never tried this kind of dessert before he met you. But now it was a tradition to eat it together. He loved that.

The flavor was sweet and sugary, of course it was. It was your favorite dessert and that’s why Adam loved it, because it made him think of you.

You ate together in a peaceful silence until your plates were clean. Neither of you had even gone to the table to eat.

Adam rubbed your back with one hand. It was impossible to explain what he felt for you. He loved you so much, nothing would be able to express it. ‘I love you’ at this point was an understatement. But how else did one express their love to their significant other? Without words there would be no communication. This was the only way to tell you what he felt. He loved you, and that’s all there was. Love.

He turned you towards him, so that you were pressed against his chest once more. He put his chin on the top of your head. “I love you.”

A rush of adrenaline swarmed up you. You laced your hands with Adam. “No, I love YOU.”

Adam melted into you. You were so perfect! “Not nearly as much as I love you,” he murmured.

“You’re right,” you gave in disappointedly, but then shot back, “I love you MORE than that.”

You and Adam spun around the living room several times, and then you put on some classical music: slow and romantic, just right for the mood.

You both swayed to the rhythm, not really intending to be lazy, but not trying to be too energetic either.

Adam could feel your head on his shoulder, your hand in his hand, and an arm around his waist. Your body touching him was breathtaking. Adam was sure he would lose his mind from the close proximity.

“You’ve been smoking,” you uttered into the quietness. You were only concerned.

Adam stiffened. Would you care about that? “I’m sorry-” He started to say.

You interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry, Adam. You’re always sorry. Not everything’s your fault. What happened?”

“I got anxious about you,” Adam halfheartedly confessed.

You patted his head reassuringly. “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

“But I did.”

You kissed him on the cheek. “Alright then. It’s okay. How was the smoke?”

“Bad,” Adam grumbled. “I nearly died from it instead of trying to enjoy it.”

You smirked. “I’m glad you didn’t though. You know what would happen if you did?”

“No.”

You bent your eyebrows down and pouted your lower lip sadly. “I WOULD BE SAD!” You wailed.

Adam felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh no…” he mustered. “I don’t want that.”

“Nor do I,” you answered smartly. “But lucky for you, you don’t have to try very hard. You being around is all I need!”

Adam bit his bottom lip shyly. He could feel your words brush up his neck. Your words were just so warming and good to hear, he couldn’t get enough. He kissed you at that moment, lifting you off the floor and bringing you up to sit on his hips. You put your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck.

Adam loved every moment of it. He loved feeling your skin on his skin, your mouth on his mouth, your body against his body, and your heat keeping him warm.

His heart was pounding, his stomach was churning, and adrenaline was pulsing through his veins. He broke away to give you some kisses down your jaws; they were quick and short.

You hummed out in satisfaction, and tilted your head back. Adam took advantage of this, and started kissing down your neck. He made sure to get your shoulders and collarbones.

“Adam…” you whispered at last, cupping his cheeks in your hands and lifting his head up. He looked at you like a lost puppy and it melted your heart. “You sweet thing.”

Adam let you down and you sighed out happily. “You’re cute,” Adam said cheesily.

You shrugged. “How else would you want me?”

“Laying on the bed would be a nice alternative, too,” Adam replied cleverly.

You gagged and looked away embarrassedly. “Oh yeah?”

“Definitely,” Adam assured you.

Adam sat down on the couch, and you sat next to him. You pulled him onto your lap, and started a long, enticing, snuggle session, where both of you spent the rest of the evening flirting, teasing, kissing, and of course expressing love to one another only in ways that words could never communicate.

Delirious - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Adam Faulkner sat up frantically, his body rigid and his mind reeling, his hands grasping uselessly at the edge of his confines, his hair plastered to his face, and his mouth filled with grimy water. He spluttered, trying to breath without getting water in his lungs, and his fingers fumbled inconveniently all along the edge of his restraints. Coughing, Adam hauled himself out of the tub. He was weak and fatigued, but most of all he was scared. In a few frightening moments, that seemed entirely too long, he tried pounding on the walls; first slowly then gradually getting faster with every passing second. Through the darkness, Adam could feel the freezing tile on his fingers, and the sharp sting as he slapped his palms against it. When this proved futile, Adam backed away hesitantly, spinning 'round and 'round as if trying to find something that wasn't there, and then resorted to screaming. His attempts at being heard were unavailing, but he kept at it anyway mostly for the sake of his very own sanity; if he remained silent he was sure to lose his goddamn mind.

"No one can hear you," came a sudden voice from the darkness. It sounded so dismissive; in fact it almost pissed Adam off how apathetic it appeared. "Just calm down. Are you hurt?"

Adam's mind struggled to form a single coherent thought. Between his confusion and his fear, thinking was made difficult. He stuttered over his words for a couple short seconds. "I-I-I-I don't- don't know." He looked over himself, even though he couldn't see anything. "Yeah?"

There was a faint sound of stumbling around, and then a high-pitched buzz filled the room. In an abrupt flicker the darkness was replaced with a bright yellow light. The ceiling lights had come on, and Adam groaned, shielding his eyes away from the brightness. "I couldn't find them before..." The man apologized.

When Adam could see clearly again, he glanced over at the object to his right. Immediately upon seeing the results, he wished he had been a little more thoughtful on that prospect, for keeping him grounded was a metal chain connecting him to a metal pipe protruding from the tile walls. What calmness he had left evaporated all together and once again he found himself panicking. Adam yanked and tugged but it didn't matter, he wasn't going anywhere. "Holy shit. You did this, didn't you!?"

His companion pressed himself against the wall in alarm. "I haven't done anything!" He exclaimed defensively. "But we're going to have to trust each other if we want to get out of this. I mean, clearly someone didn't want us going very far."

Adam huffed. "But what the hell did I do?"

"Apparently you did something, or you wouldn't be here. Now, what's your name?"

That's a personal question, Adam thought. Why does he want to know?

Looking the man up and down suspiciously, Faulkner muttered carefully, "My name is very fucking confused... What's YOUR name...?"

"Lawrence Gordon," Gordon answered practically.

Adam laughed. "Sounds like a doctor's name," he whispered wryly.

"I AM a doctor," Doctor Lawrence snapped.

Adam stared at him awkwardly. Neither of them spoke a word to each other for a couple of never-ending minutes, then Lawrence stood up. "Here, let me try the door."

"Why didn't you?" Adam retorted, not expecting a reply. He was aware of the fact that, with the lights off, it was impossible to see your surroundings. Lawrence ignored him, but did cast him an annoyed look, as if echoing Adam's exact thoughts. He got to his feet.

Adam watched Lawrence stretch himself along the wall, reaching for the door. It was locked, but even if wasn't, Lawrence's chain didn't stretch far enough to get him to the handle. "Well fuck," Adam uttered hopelessly.

Lawrence gave him an apologetic look, but didn't say anything to reassure him. It was then that Adam's eyes found the chainsaw resting right next to Lawrence's feet, and that's when everything changed. He started freaking out. In flashbacks he saw THAT moment replaying over and over again in his head, and he reacted violently, twisting his body and lashing out against his restraint.

The pictures burned his eyes, at least it felt like they did. With each passing second the flashbacks became more clear. He could almost feel Lawrence's pain when he cut through his flesh. Adam screamed. Agony ripped through his temples and he doubled over.

Lawrence's longing and flustered exclamations were lost on poor Adam as he writhed miserably on the tile floor in capable of regaining himself, his tormented mind struggling to cope with the memories. "Hey! I think I've found something! Pass me that tape."

Adam kicked, and flailed, but didn't hear Lawrence.

"What's wrong? Will you at least tell me your name?"

Still, Adam couldn't get the vision out of his eyes. It lingered there like a bloodstain on a white dress. It refused to put him at ease.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw his wallet at him. "Adam!" His voice was starting to blend into the buzz of the lights. "Goddamn it, Adam! What's happening?"

Faulkner tossed and turned. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he was sure it would pop at any given moment. His temperature was so high it was like he was in an oven that was set to self-destruct. His shirt and flannel were drenched in so much sweat, he could have easily been rolling around in the wet grass before arriving.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw something else at him. Was it the package of cigarettes? "Sit up! Sit up!"

Adam tried to latch onto what Lawrence was telling him, but he felt fried. His mind was so exhausted...

"Adam!" Gordon's voice was gone completely now, as well as the images that he had been seeing before. Adam was plunged straight back into darkness, and then THAT voice reached his ears. The melodic voice of his significant other.

In a frenzy, hastily and dazedly, Adam Faulkner exploded from the covers, his face burning up with fever. He was hotter than he had ever felt in his entire life. He gasped, paranoia engulfing him. His eyes darted around the room, taking in his surroundings quickly, fearfully. He was not where he expected to find himself. He was not with the person he was expecting to be with. Adrenaline pumped through him, making him fidgety, but finally he brought his attention to his partner. You were leaning over him, terror in your bright eyes.

Adam's breath slowed down audibly, once he realized where he was. You pushed him to the pillow again. You had tears on your cheeks but Adam wasn't in the mental state to be concerned about that right now. He let you adjust him on the bed, as you whispered, "You're so hot, baby. I tried to stop the fever, but... it just kept rising, and... You scared me, I thought for sure... Never mind. You were kicking and sleep talking. I don't what you said, though."

Adam stared ahead, grabbing hold of your hand. He held it so tightly you whimpered. You had to use all your strength to rip your hand out of his grasp. "What time is it?" He choked.

"Twelve AM. It's hasn't even been two hours yet."

"I... I can't go back to sleep. I need a walk." But Adam knew it was a lie. And he knew what you would say.

You stared into his face. His eyes had dark circles under them, they were bloodshot already themselves, and his skin was ghostly white. You frowned at him in dismay. Lately, he had stopped sleeping. His trauma was getting to him again, and you knew that was the only reason for it; his dreams were haunting him too much. "No, Adam," You said firmly this time. You weren't going to allow him to do this again.

Adam shook his head. "Let me. It helps."

"You are going to kill yourself one of these days," You growled, and gently held him down. You didn't want to cause him to feel trapped, that would only make things worse, but you didn't want him to get up. "You need to sleep, baby. You have a fever tonight."

"Maybe that's good?" Adam asked halfheartedly. He hadn't meant to alarm you.

You felt sick. "No." You combed your fingers through his hair. "Relax, Adam. You're going to be just fine. I know it, you know it."

Adam relaxed under his partner's soothing strokes. "I feel so cold..."

You gazed at him sadly. "A hundred and one degrees, Adam."

"Me?"

"No, the cat," You snapped sarcastically.

"Oh..."

Adam could feel himself losing himself to sleep. He was afraid of what would happen next in his dreams, but he trusted you to take care of him. Your careful caress was enough to put him back under. And as he wandered through a blurry haze of darkness, he heard your soft voice one last time. "I love you." A kiss was planted on his lips and when he started dreaming again, it was with you.

You in your favorite attire.

You with your prettiest smile.

You with your pleasant laugh.

And he leaned right into that beloved and charming kiss. All the while you stayed awake in the night, protecting him, keeping him away from his fears, and allowing your precious boyfriend to gather up on his much desired sleep.

Stained - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N I had inspiration from Staind's songs, Something to Remind You and Right Here. So, the songs might not be about what I wrote, but this is what I had thought every time I heard them. I hope you enjoy it. (lol, I know naming the story after the artist is cliche and pathetic but I didn't know what else.)

You had a fever of one hundred and six degrees. You could barely feel or see anything. All of it was just a blur, the noise was muffled in the background, and the lights over head gave you something to concentrate on. You were exhausted, and hot. No, blistering was a better word. You felt like you were literally on fire, but you doubted that was the case. If you were on fire, you would be in a lot more pain than you were in now, and not to mention you'd probably be dead.

People moved around you, voices spoke above you, and things flashed in front of your eyes. You couldn't keep track of it all, so you eventually rolled your head to the side and closed your eyes. Your whole body was hot, you were getting hot flashes and chills, you were sweating profusely. You had wet cloths on your skin. Pretty much every part of your body that wasn't covered by the hospital gown, was covered in a wet cloth. The cloths were slightly cold to the touch and you tried to shrink away from them, but someone held it there for you.

Shivering, you tried to sit up only to be shoved back down. Uneasily and a little bit scared, you stared dizzily at the ceiling as yellow, fluorescent, lights flashed past you. Horror filled you as you tried to breath. You thrashed and kicked trying to free yourself, but you only exhausted yourself out greatly. In a matter of seconds heat flashed over you and you passed out.

Adam paced back and forth anxiously. He was desperate to see his significant other wake up, but so far it wasn't like that would be happening any time soon. There was a doctor in the room, watching over Y/N to make sure everything went as planned. He had a grave expression on his face.

"How are they?" Adam demanded for the fourth time.

The doctor stared at him over the rim of his glasses, and said in a clipped tone, "We are working on it."

"Well, clearly you're not doing enough! You can't just let them die! They needs more help!"

The doctor's calm voice answered directly; he was not taking anyone's bullshit. "What Y/N needs is rest. We are trying our best to keep their fever down, but it... Well..." The doctor trailed off, then said, as delicately as possible, "The patient's condition is declining rapidly, you see. Our best efforts may not be enough to help. Y/N might have to fight this on their own."

Adam was thrown off his guard at this. He shook his head repeatedly, as if he was trying to shake honey out of his hair. "You must be dull," he said at last. His tone was cool. "MY partner won't be going ANYWHERE."

"The body won't..." Adam heard the doctor mutter to himself, shuffling through some papers and moving across the room.

Adam was disconcerted now, not to mention a little bit angry. Who was this doctor, thinking he could stroll in here and act like he owned the place? Y/N wasn't going to die! It was quite inconsiderate of him to pretend that they were. Adam wanted to do something, but nothing would come to his mind. As he started pacing again, the doctor said from the corner, "If you've nothing better to do, I suggest you go for a walk."

Adam glared at the doctor. "Who are you to tell me what to do?"

"I'm the person keeping you lover alive, I think I would know a thing or two about health. And staying in here, isn't going to help yours."

Adam stared at the man in reluctance. He felt slightly offended, but also embarrassed. Of course the doctor would want to help EVERYONE he could, which would include Adam himself. The audacity he had to tell Adam to leave while his partner died on a hospital bed was more or less insensitive, but the doctor just wanted to help. That's why he took this job, right? So, really, all in all, how cruel was he being?

It still doesn't matter, Adam thought to himself. He still told me to leave Y/N all alone while they died. That's so overpowering, I think it was just rude at this point.

"No," Adam said quietly, taking a seat next to you. "I'm not going to LEAVE them."

The doctor nodded curtly. "Suit yourself then."

You were in a deep sleep. The covers were all put away, due to the fact that you didn't need to be hotter. You were hyped up on medication all the time, Adam wasn't sure what it was they were using. A towel was on your forehead, you were dressed in pretty cool clothes, but you did have a thin blanket over your lithe body. Your temperature was... wavering, in all honestly. It looked like your fever wasn't even beginning to die down. Adam's heart sank into his stomach miserably.

But unbeknownst to Adam, or even the hostile companion that was the doctor, you were no longer asleep. You had overheard their conversation, but had been unable to speak up. You were tired and weak, but now that you were awake you didn't want to go back to sleep. In fact, you wanted to see Adam one more time before falling asleep again. You feared it would be the last time you would get to.

You started humming to yourself a little bit. You were unsure why that was your first response, but you thought it would be the best way to grab your boyfriend's attention. Subconsciously, you started singing the song that had been playing on your first date with Faulkner. Now that you thought about it, this choice was actually very depressing. In fact, having the song play on your first date had been a little ironic, seeing as a first date was happy and the supposed song was not so much.

The song you were humming was by the artist Staind. You had listened to their songs before, but it wasn't like you deliberately sought them out. This one had a place in your heart because it was the one on the radio during your first date with Adam. Your boyfriend still hadn't heard you singing, but that was alright. The windows were open, so the traffic was loud.

As you kept humming though, you started to have enough strength to say the words. Very carefully, you raised your voice. It was steady and brave, though sickness was evidently present. It dampened your ability to sing, and gave off an eerie feeling to the room, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop; Adam should hear this, you weren't sure how long you had left. "When the day comes... the sun won't touch my face. Tell the ones who cared enough... That I finally left this place-"

"-Y/N!?" Adam exclaimed, looking at you in alarm. His eyes were wide with horror. "Shh! D-Don't say anything, you'll hurt yourself."

But you didn't care about hurting yourself. You simply smiled at him in a soft amusement as you continued, "That's been so cold. Look at my face, all the stories it will tell I can't erase..."

"Y/N, what? That's... the song we heard on the radio-"

You raised a weak hand up to his mouth, and hushed him with your finger. This was something you would never do, but today was different. You needed Adam to listen to you. You traced you thumb down his cheek. "The road is long... just one more song, a little something..."

Adam seemed to understand then what you were tying to tell him, and he got to his knees. He bowed his head on the bed, grasping both of your hands above his head. "You don't know what you're talking about. S-Stop... You're gonna be okay, just... go back to sleep."

You gazed wistfully at Adam's bowed head. "To remind you..."

"Stop it." Adam's voice cracked, and he looked up then. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "Please."

"When..."

"Don't!" Desperation clawed into Adam's tone. "Don't say it."

"I'm..."

Adam looked at you in the eyes. They were red from crying, and his face was pale white from nerves. "Goddamn it, Y/N! Why are you singing this right now? Are you trying to hurt me?"

You stopped singing and gazed at him dolefully. "I love you, baby." Your voice trembled brokenly.

Adam frowned at you, seeming to come to the conclusion that there was no avoiding this. Not in the slightest. "No."

Smiling encouragingly at him, you felt the need to continue the song. It was only traditional. In a sweet voice you started to sing. You were able to grab some energy and put it into you voice and emotion. You were scared, but at peace, and you needed you Adam to understand that everything was okay; he was okay. The words came out purely, boldly, lovingly. You placed your hand on his face, and traced it weakly down his cheek. Calmly, you sang out, not once stopping, not once faltering, and kept your eyes solely on Adam's. "Something to remind you when I'm gone."

Adam gasped sharply at your words. "Fuck..." he murmured.

"Don't be afraid, Adam... I'll be with you... I promise."

Adam hung his head, as if unable to look at you while the life of his lover was deprived slowly out of their fragile body. You stared at him dishearteningly.

Reluctantly.

Miserably.

"I love you," you repeated.

Adam let out a choked sob. But the words were still mustered, "I love you, too."

You rolled your head to the side. You didn't want to leave him all alone, but there was nothing you could do. You wanted to stay with him and help him recover from this, but, you knew you couldn't do that either. You just had to sit it out, and it would be harder for him to accept your death than it would be for you to die. But the lights started to envelop your vision, they were bright and blinding, and the blistering temperature threatened to swallow you whole, while cold chills ran up and down your back and limbs. Your voice was sore, and your head throbbed painfully; You had to get out of here, it was too painful.

You forced yourself into the bed and tried not to thrash, your suffering ten times worse now. The light expanded and you were consumed entirely, leading you into a black well of dark. It was quiet here, and not so hot. Your cold flashes had stopped and you felt energized at last. As you gazed around the place you couldn't really see anything. However the song that was playing caught your attention. It was perfect, though, not the song you had been humming earlier. It was Staind again, and this song seemed to accompany the last one so well, it hurt. It was the ending of the song, and it just had to be this one that was playing. You listened closely, and realized the lyrics resonated within you strongly. You couldn't even believe how much you related to them. It was funny how once you had experienced the life lesson, how painstakingly obvious the truth hurt. You closed your eyes and listened. You knew this song as well.

But I always find a way, to keep you right here waiting.

I always find the words to say, to keep you right here waiting.

But you always find a way, to keep me right here waiting.

You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting.

If I chose to walk away, would you be right here waiting, searching for the things to say, to keep me right here waiting?

An emptiness filled you up. "I miss you already," you whispered aloud. It was cold - too cold - and you drifted back, feeling Adam's presence fading. Peace would find Adam eventually, even if it was only a phantom of a feeling; a stain of ruin splashed across the art. He would make it.

Yes, he would.

Don't Forget About Me - Adam Stanheight / Reader

18 + A/N I dunno 'bout all y'all's... limitations... but this is strangely more detailed than what I've written... So like... have a warning just in case. Y'all lmk if it was needed

. 18 +

You woke up at eleven thirty in the morning. The room was bright with sunlight, which was being cast into the room from the window above the bed. There was a golden glow to the atmosphere, leaving a warmness to the air. You gazed up at the ceiling for a couple moments, feeling tired. It was cold in the room and you didn’t want to get out of the comfy bed. If it wasn’t for the empty side of the bed, you would have contemplated the idea, but sadly it appeared that your boyfriend was already up. That encouraged you to meet with him this morning.

Throwing off the blankets, and stepping out of bed, you shivered at the cold as it brushed along your skin. The wood floor felt like dry soap on your feet, and it splintered and creaked whenever you walked on it. You approached the dresser you shared with Adam Faulkner Stanheight; it was standing to the side of the room, up against the wall, looking lonely and old. It had a clutter of objects on top of it, mostly photo albums of you and him, most of which were half empty. You wondered why Adam didn’t just finish one before starting another.

Dazedly, you opened up the top drawer. Inside it were a mix of your shirts and your boyfriend’s shirts. You rummaged around for a little bit, before throwing on one of his white tees.

It was soft and silky, and smelled of him. You hugged it closer.

Stepping into the bright living room, your eyes were blinded by the harsh, overhead lights. You squinted instinctively, as pain hurt your temples for a short moment. It faded after a couple of seconds, allowing you to get your surroundings.

Your boyfriend was sifting through some recently taken pictures. You didn’t recognize them; they must have been photos of a client.

You sat down next to him, feeling fatigued and sleepy. Adam barely looked at you, but he did greet you brightly.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, and watched him sort photos. It was a very methodical process, rather soothing in fact.

Adam put down the last photo and looked at you. Your face was pale white, and you had dark circles under your eyes. Your eyelids blinked slowly, like you were about to fall asleep at any second.

“How’s your morning, Y/N?”

“Good, I think,” you mumbled.

“How’d you sleep last night?”

“Good, I think,” you repeated.

Adam stared at you blankly. “How about we get you some breakfast?”

“Sure.” You curled up on the couch with your legs under you.

Adam didn’t leave your side on the couch though, despite having offered you breakfast. Instead he dropped an arm onto your shoulders, and leaned in close.

You could feel his body heat from the close proximity. Blood rushed up your cheeks, and made you dizzy. Your stomach felt like it was being twisted with prickly rope. You swallowed nervously, your throat suddenly dry. “Oh… H-Hi Adam…”

“Hi, sweet thing,” Adam murmured.

He examined your face carefully, and then started to palm your stomach with his hands. You smiled at him, shyly.

Stanheight brushed his lips over yours briefly, you could feel light tingles of expectance travel down your jaws.

“Mmmmh,” you breathed.

Adam kissed you gently, his hands rising up your shirt. “That shirt looks good on you,” he informed you. “Much better than it could look on me…” he gripped the end of it, and started to pull it over your head. Chills ran up your skin.

Slowly, your boyfriend pinned you up against the couch cushions. His thumbs played in circles over your stomach. You were forced to relax under his insistent domination.

Adam pressed up closer to you, biting your lower lip delicately, leading to a high powered make-out session.

His lips were firm on yours but somehow managed to remain harmless. It was like drinking Hershey’s Syrup; so good you couldn’t get enough.

You moaned out a little bit, feeling the sweetness enter your mouth, and squirmed at the delicious aftertaste. It was warm and invigorating. You slid right up next to him. “Hmm. I love you, Adam…”

Adam blinked at you. “I don’t think you can love me as much as I love you,” he purred directly into your ear. He sent soft kisses down your jaw enticingly. “Lean back.”

You did as you were told, almost too eagerly. Adam turned your head towards him, keeping his mouth on yours. His hands caressed your cheeks and ears soothingly, pulling his fingers through your hair.

More Hershey’s syrup was poured down your throat. You gagged a little bit at Adam’s aggressiveness. Adam pulled back after a couple of minutes, panting. “Lay down,” he told you. “Make yourself pretty.”

You laid down on the couch, adjusting yourself carefully. Adam was watching you intently, making you feel extra self-aware. You kept moving, trying to please Adam with your best efforts. It was hard to tell what he was thinking under his calculating gaze. You felt completely vulnerable laying on your back with nothing but your underwear on. It made you apprehensive.

After a while you managed to twist yourself up in a way that appeared painful, it wasn’t though. Adam straddled you then. “That’s fine, baby. Thank you.”

You felt him cover you like a heavy blanket. You grunted at the weight, but Adam seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

“Do you know how lovely you look in my clothes? I wish you wore my shirts more often, you look so good in them, baby.” You opened your mouth to respond, but Faulkner covered it with his palm, and leaned over. “Perfectly fuckable, even.”

Your eyes stretched wide, and you groaned quietly into his hand. Adam seemed to relish the sight of his significant other looking up at him desperately. “Adam…” You muttered around his fingers.

“Where were you yesterday, anyway? I was missing you.”

“I was busy…” you informed him. “I had an appointment.”

“Where are you going today?”

“Well, I had made plans last week to meet up with a friend. You were invited, of course!”

“Reschedule,” Adam advised. “I think you’re gonna miss it.”

You squeaked. “S-Sure. Let me grab my pho-”

Adam pushed you down again. “Oh, no. I don’t think they’ll mind if you inform them afterwards.”

“Um…” You looked at your boyfriend, conflicted. “I want to be with them, too, you know. I’m excited about this trip.”

“When do you have to leave?” Adam’s voice was low and ominous. He started rubbing your stomach again.

“At one…” you whispered.

Adam shrugged, and started to pull the last piece of clothing from your body. He chuckled smugly. “We have plenty of time, dearest. I’ll even treat you to lunch, seeing as you won’t be having breakfast.”

You squished yourself further into the mattress. “Woah…” you said. “You really think so?”

“Ha. I’d bet a million dollars on it. Now lay down and let me fuck you, baby. I’ve been waiting all morning.”

“You don’t even have a million dollars,” you retorted.

“Obviously,” Adam cast one miserable glance around the tattered living room. “If I did, would I be fucking you in this shitty apartment?”

“Probably not…”

“ ‘Probably not’? Definitely not. Baby, I’d spend more money on you than whatever the fuck this is. I’d spend more like… fifty-two thousand dollars, or something. Enough for a suitable place to live and… a wedding. But… I don’t have that either.”

“Awe…” you couldn’t stop the smile from forming on your face. Adam’s words made you really happy. “I don’t care where we live, as long as I’m with you, baby. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Well look at that. You’ve outdone me, sweetie. Here I was planning our future, and all you have to do is remind us of our pleasant reality. I love you, baby.”

You sighed awkwardly..

“Now let’s get on with it, shall we? Don’t want to be late for your hang out.”

“No…”

“Good. Scream extra loud for me, okay? The window’s open.”

You glanced up in alarm, horror filling you. “Uh- What!?” But Adam started messaging you with his hands; rolling them up your stomach and chest, meanwhile his mouth planted firmly on your own.

It was too late to change anything now. Good luck my dear reader. ;)

Quietus - Adam Stanheight / Reader

You felt like you had just woken up from a nice, long, nap in the bath, during the summer. There was nothing to be worried about, nothing to be excited about, nothing to be angry about, and nothing to be sad about; it was just a quiet evening, and you felt peaceful and calm. Your skin felt warm, and your hair felt clean, and as you crossed, you felt a tingling in your hands and feet.

The carpet was soft on your feet as you walked over it, it's smoothness was gentle on your skin and you liked it very much. You had never thought that the feel of carpet would please you so much, but this texture was truly exquisite. You took slow, savory, steps just so that you could have a reason to remain standing on it. The light over head was pale, almost like that of the dawn when it breaches your window frame and sets your bedroom aglow. There was something picturesque about how the dull light appeared; phantom like and basically transparent. It was an odd white color, not one that would usually be used for lighting; you didn't quite understand it but you proceeded down the dark void all the same.

Around you, there were black walls, above you blue-white lights, and below you gray ground, that could possibly be clear if you thought about it too long; you could make out, just slightly, hardly anything really, movement of some kind underneath the grayness of the floor. As you walked, you let your thoughts take a hold of your mind. There was something not right about this place, something unusual, something concerning. Was it all the blacks and greys strewn about, or the dark atmosphere? How about the way the lights flickered ever so slightly but just enough to notice, or the way that they warmed up the place just by being on? Perhaps it was the walls that misted when you touched them and the way they felt like liquid when you got close? Maybe it was simply a reality, and you were too tired to figure it out?

It was natural though, the manner in which you moved along. It was almost like it was meant to be; so overpowering you HAD to keep going. You didn't know how far you had come or how long you had been here, all you knew was that this is where you were now, and where you would be for a long while.

Forwards was the only way to go. Forwards would take you to your destined destination. And who was to know where backwards led. That, unfortunately, was not for you to discover.

By now you had left behind the carpet, but that was already such a long time ago you just hadn't realized it when it happened. The tile floor was cool and liquidy. It was like placing your foot on the top of water. You could feel the coldness on the bottom of your foot and in between your toes, it confused you completely.

Finally, before you noticed the opening in the hallway, you heard voices. Two of them were unfamiliar but one of them was so recognizable, so impalpable, it frustrated you. Where had you heard it before?

The lights flickered randomly then, as if trying to give an incapacitated answer to your question. You didn't try to understand it, in fact you didn't try think about it at all, and you went right back to your meandering. When you reached the clearing, which was nothing but a room filled with black walls and grey floor, you could hear the voices more clearly. They were coming from inside. You peered into the small, plain, room almost halfheartedly. It was now that you were starting to feel concerned. You hadn't before, mostly just exceptionally laid back.

What felt like hours was probably only a matter of seconds, but your pumping heart and adrenaline made it seem like longer. You trailed into the room finally, it was the first time since entering this dank place that you had gotten somewhere. As you crept inside, you could smell a familiar smell, and taste a familiar taste. You could hear a familiar sound, and feel a familiar feeling. In front of you was a young man, probably about twenty, in his usual attire. Of course you knew who this was, but what the hell was he doing here? Or maybe a better question was: what were you doing here?

The warmth that had been with you this whole time left now, encasing you in bitter cold. You shivered, hoping to get warm by such an inefficient gesture. It was stupid, pathetic, and didn't work anyway.

You tiptoed over to the man, who was waiting for you in the middle of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and his head tilted back slightly. There was a thin, white, cigarette in the corner of his mouth. You fell instantly, like you always did. The sight reminded you of a picture you had at your apartment. It was of your boyfriend with his head leaned back on the couch, and a cigarette - much like the one in front of you now - in his mouth. Adam Stanheight stood before you in all his glory, making you heart stop. You couldn't find words to explain yourself; the silence was deafening.

However, it wasn't for you to reply, Adam had that covered; he had planned this for a while now. Of course your death was entirely up to fate, he couldn't have had chosen that if he'd tried, but all the same, he'd planned out what to say when you arrived. "F/N L/N." There was a small smile on his lips. The one you'd seen many times before. It always presented itself when he was going to be smug. There was a different kind of smile he gave you when he was happy, this was not that smile. "What have you done to find yourself all the way up here?"

You could feel yourself smiling back. You knew he was joking, but you still smiled at him. You couldn't find words to say anything, you didn't know what was worth saying anyway. You remained silent, and Adam was unbothered.

"I guess it's been a while," he sighed. "I was confused, too, at first. But that's the strange thing, all of us are different. It just takes longer to adjust than it does for others. Maybe I was more fortunate? There's really no way to tell yet, not since you've only just arrived. We'll see how you're feeling in forty eight hours. A lot can change over the course of two days here, you might be surprised. But you'll see what I mean. It's been like a year since that day, so I've gotten pretty used to everything. I am still surprised it only took a year. I thought I would never get over it."

You stared at him for a long time, but still didn't speak.

"Can you remember anything?" Adam asked you lightly.

You thought about his question, but eventually you found your voice. "No."

Adam seemed impressed. "I'm glad to see you warming up, Y/N. Most people don't recover quickly."

"I think..." You stammered, your voice cracking along the way. "I think it helps that you are here."

Adam nodded briefly. "That was the intention. Do you remember anything now?"

You shook your head. "Remember what?"

"How you died."

You considered his words gravely. "Do you?"

"I was watching," Adam informed you. "The accident was... brutal... The car-" he interrupted himself. "Well let's just say, 'it exploded.' Shards went everywhere." He shuddered. "It's no wonder you came to join me. There was another person with you, and neither of you survived it."

Your mouth fell open as memories flashed through your mind. The car, the leaves, the wind. The driving, the spinning, the screaming. The final, abrupt, moment in which your life was taking away from you. You turned your head away dismissively, letting out a calming breath. "Meh," you found yourself saying. "It's alright that it's over. I don't mind the quietness or tranquility. It's nice, like..." You trailed off, and didn't say more.

Adam pulled you into a side hug. "I know the feeling."

You stared at the ground dully, letting Adam's presence sooth you. "So," you asked. "Now what?"

"Now," Adam replied. "I take you through there." He glanced over his shoulder. There was another opening behind you, leading out of the room. A long void stretched away from it.

"There?" You asked. "Where's it go?"

Adam only looked at you sadly, but didn't answer you. He guided you to the entrance and you followed slowly, feeling numb. Adam kept his arm around your waist as you walked. You could sense his urgency, but you didn't know why. You didn't know where he was going, or what was happening, but you trusted Adam. You pressed yourself closer as you continued down the dark, liquid, hall.

As the time passed, you started to relax. You felt really safe here, in Adam's warm and comforting embrace. Finally, you reached another room that was just as dim, and just as tiny, as the last one. By now, you had identified the feeling you were trying to explain before, only this time it was much more severe, overwhelming. You clutched Adam's hand tightly, and spoke up at last. "Adam, it's like..."

Adam ushered you inside. "I'll see you on the other side, baby. But unfortunately, I can't go with you for this part. Don't worry, you'll see me again, I promise. I'll be waiting for you."

"Wait," you whispered, and Adam smiled at you. He looked so reposeful and patient, like he had all the time in the world, and maybe he did; it was like he knew all the answers to life itself. You gazed at him. "It's like..." Your voice sounded melodic. "It's like," You repeated for a third time. "Like, I'm finally coming home..."

Adam let out a breath. There was a gleam in his eyes, one that told you he was content, and he said, "Yes, you are. It's such a scary place to call home, but it's almost terrifying how lovable a place can be once you start to live in it."

"Don't go," you mumbled desperately.

"I won't," Adam replied happily, and closed the door in front of you, leaving you all alone and in your impending doom. Unbeknownst to you, Adam was waiting in the room over. Neither of you knew how long it would take you to find him again but you knew that you would; and when you did, home would be right around the corner.