Ed Warning - Tumblr Posts

Personal Body Image & Motivation Issues

I’m gonna have some rant/confession time with y’all, because the studyblr community is probably the most supportive community I’ve been a part of and the internet is a wonderful place of anonymity.

I hate my body, and I don’t want to hate it anymore.

To give you an idea of what my body type and situation is like, I’ll tell you that I am 5’ 2” and 200lbs. When I was younger I lived with a verbally abusive father who contributed to me developing an eating disorder (binge eating disorder, or BED). I have never been able to shake the weight or the unhealthy habits that I formed during my childhood. I try- believe me, I try to do what I can to shed some pounds. I currently run on my college’s cross country team because I love the way exercise makes me feel and I want to try to be healthy. But I still struggle with binge eating and hate the way my body looks.

I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I believe that all body types are beautiful- let that be known. I just feel heavy and gross and have so many self-esteem and body image issues because of my weight. Clothes shopping is the absolute worst. Clothes shopping makes me feel absolutely terrible about myself because most plus size clothing is a) super expensive, b) shoved in the far corner of a department store, or c) very baggy and unflattering on me. I want to fit into clothes that make me happy. I want to feel comfortable wearing shorts for once in my life. (A brief tangent on wearing shorts: My cross country team consists of eight very fit girls, and our coach only orders these skin tight shorts for competitions. I can’t wear the shorts because they don’t even fit me. Last year he gave me the mens’ shorts to wear but this year they changed the cut of the mens so now their shorts don’t work with my body type either. I don’t know what I’ll be wearing to track meets this season and it feels terrible to not fit.)

I feel it is best to at least share with the studyblr community because you guys are great at sending positive vibes and help keep each other accountable. I am going to start being more conscious of my eating habits and adding some extra bodyweight workouts to my weekly cardio/track workouts. On top of that, I have been doing  yoga and trying to make little mental changes to improve my negative thoughts towards my body. Having an accountability buddy (or even just a friend) during this attempt to help me learn to love my figure and be healthy would be greatly appreciated.

Alright, my rant/confession is over. I am going to go back to reblogging study tips and aesthetic photos of study sessions.

Love you all,

thecosmicstudyblr

For the thin individuals with eating disorders and body dysmorphia that are trying to use those are shields in the notes: Your mental illness is not an excuse for you to harm other people nor does it prevent you from being called out on it. Acting like you are a variation from these statements simply because you are ill is not only bullshit but also dangerous. Large sections of your communities are known for openly attacking and harassing fat people to the point where nearly every fat creator I've seen who choose to show their face on social media has had people use their images for pro ed accounts with the most vile comments added in. You all do not get to act like you being ill excuses you from the vile shit I’ve seen some of you say to fat people or the damage your words have on the fat people around you. If you want to not be called out by this post and posts like it, actively try to be better and start treating fat people with respect.

thin people calling themselves fat negatively is so malicious... especially in front of fat people