Frowned - Tumblr Posts
The more Cal mentioned ending it instead of running away during Zero Day, the more Andre would practice it. He would take an empty gun and place the tip on his throat or chin, finding out the best angle so he wouldn’t have to struggle and suffer much when the moment came. Of course, he knew it wouldn’t compare to the real thing, when the gun would be hot to the touch and stain his skin black where it touched him. He knew it wouldn’t compare to the anxiety he would feel as he pulled the trigger and his hand jerked from the force. He knew it would never compare to the eternity of silence after, to his impact on the world he would never get to see.
andre loved cal. cal loved the idea of andre.
andre loved cal’s mind and heart and dedication to zero day. he loved the way cal’s hands held his face and the way cal’s lips felt against his own. andre loved sleeping next to cal, staying up until the early morning and waking up late in the day. andre loved cal enough to die with him.
cal loved that andre was his accomplice, his best friend, and that andre loved him. cal loved that andre didn’t have anyone else, that he would always be first in andre’s mind and heart. cal loved the way his family treated andre as their own and how andre took care of his siblings. cal loved the idea of andre so much that he didn’t want anyone else to have the older boy when he passed, so he took andre with him.
andre and cal both had love in their hearts. they just loved different things.
almost all of andre’s clothes are too big for him.
he gets bullied for them at school. people think they’re cheap and old and make fun of him for being poor and dressing like a faggot. not that his clothes really mattered, but they’d make fun of andre for anything.
the sleeves are a bit loose around andre’s biceps and his pants require a belt with every wear. the ill fitting items aren’t really too noticeable if you’re simply walking by andre. only those who nitpick and already hate andre point it out.
sure, he has clothes that fit him. it’s not like he doesn’t go shopping or get clothes for his birthday and christmas. it’s just that these bigger clothes are special.
they’re the clothes his older brother left behind when he left the house. his brother’s departure was quick; he had gotten into a blowout fight with their parents and stormed out the next day. andre had begged him to stay, but he was ignored.
he’s been wearing his brothers old clothes since then. they used to smell like him, and andre would hide his face in the collar just to pretend he was hugging his brother one more time. now, the smell has faded, but andre doesn’t stop wearing them.
as andre grows older and fills out the clothing more, he swears he sees his brother when he looks in the mirror.