Haikyuu Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Kenma: Did I accomplish my goals for this year? No.

Kenma: But did I look after my mental and physical health? No.

Kenma: But did I maintain a proper diet and sleep schedule?

Kenma:

Kenma: Listen-

Osamu: What do people who stop their microwaves at 0:01 do with their lives?

Atsumu: I DO NOT want to be beeped at! It is LOUD and OBNOXIOUS and I will NOT takE ORDERS FROM SOME EXTRA HOT METAL BOX!

Iwaizumi: do you want to know your gay name

Oikawa: my... my gay name??

Iwaizumi: yeah, it's your first name-

Oikawa: haha. Very funny iwa-chan-

Iwaizumi, getting down on one knee: -and my last name

Oikawa: oh- oh mY GOD

Noya: you ready for tomorrow's history test?

Tanaka: yea

Noya: what ended in 1896?

Tanaka: 1895

Noya: yea you ready

Hinata: I like the strong and silent type.

Kageyama, behind him quietly lifting up a table:

Makki: Do you realise we never stop tasting our own tongues?

Mattsun: How about I taste yours for a change?

Iwaizumi: Get out of here. Both of you.

Bokuto: Morning! You look beautiful today.

Akaashi: Good morning Bokut-

Bokuto: HAHA APRIL FOOLS!

Akaashi: Oh.

Bokuto: YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL EVERYDAY!Akaashi, softly: Oh.

Yaku: hey do you have a bag I could borrow?

Kenma: the only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence

Yaku: literally all you had to do was say no

Kageyama, trying to open a jar of pickles: FUCKING SHIT LID

Iwaizumi: I wonder where he got that from.

Oikawa: The fucking fridge.

Mattsun: what does a skeleton call his closest homie

Makki: his vertebruh

Mattsun: is that because homies always have eachother's backs

Makki: this is why I love you

Bokuto: Here's a fun Christmas idea! We hang a mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you've to FIGHT whoever is under it.

Sakusa: Bokuto no.

Hinata: Mistlefoe.

Sakusa: Stop encouraging him.

Atsumu: If you fuck the person under it then it's mistlehoe-

Sakusa: MIYA ATSUMU.

Meian: Ah yes. A normal Christmas evening.

Kenma: Did I accomplish my goals for this year? No.

Kenma: But did I look after my mental and physical health? No.

Kenma: But did I maintain a proper diet and sleep schedule?

Kenma:

Kenma: Listen-

*watching a nature documentary*

Narrator: virtually nothing can survive in this environment

Noya, extremely defensive for no reason: I bet I could

Kuroo: Damn, the power went out.

Bokuto: Don't worry, I got this.

Bokuto, shakes rapidly and starts to illuminate:

Kuroo: What-

Bokuto: I swallowed a flashlight.

Kuroo, on the verge of cardiac arrest: WHY WOULD YOU-

Kageyama: You. I'm taking you somewhere when I get home.

Hinata: Where and why?

Kageyama: The restaurant and because I want to.

Hinata: But I'm poor.

Kageyama: It's called a fucking date. I pay for you.

Hinata: Wait, is pink a fruit?

Tsukishima: What goes on inside your brain? I'm not even being mean, this time I'm genuinely curious.

Tendou, reading a box of baby formula: Shake well before feeding? Alright.

Tendou, picking up the baby:

Semi: NO—

Hinata: Wanna hear a joke?

Tsukishima: No.

Hinata: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Tsukishima, sighing: Why?

Hinata: To get to the idiots house. Knock knock.

Tsukishima: Who's there?

Hinata: The chicken.

Tsukishima:

Lev: Don't you just love space?

Kenma: Yeah. Personal space.

Lev:

Lev: You're literally cuddling Kuroo-san like your life depends on it.

Osamu: Is 4 a lot?

Suna: Depends on the context.

Suna: 4 onigiris? No.

Suna: 4 murders? Yes.