If You Do - Tumblr Posts
Omg lol! Keith dude lol
No I would NOT drink baby hippo blood. Just like the lance from that story, I DO have standards. I won’t feed on bug-like aliens, cute and adorable animals, and definitely NOT baby animals.
And besides that, there are no hippos in space, so I definitely can’t drink hippos blood. Alien fauna that looks like a hippo… that’s different.
Come on don’t be like that. Please? (Will be hugging Keith now trying to get Keith to stop being mad at him)
Voltron: vampire lance trying to enjoy his blood.
I have this one Voltron AU where Lance ends up turning into a vampire and now has to adjust to his new life.
Important note: when this lance gets his blood, he gets it by catching wild animals, and carefully siphoning their blood through an IV into thermoses to drink later. without harming the animals. This lance has a bit of an issue when it comes to feeding. He doesn’t like the idea of killing for blood.
Lance is sitting on the couch in the common area drinking a thermos of blood when Keith walks in and sits down next to him.
Keith: hay, what cha drinking?
Lance: … um… blood?
Keith: no, I mean WHAT are you drinking?
Lance: … again BLOOD!
Keith: what life form did that blood come from?
Lance: ah, why didn’t you just ask that in the first place?
Keith: just answer the question.
Lance looks down at his blood, turning it in his hand and shrugging.
Lance: hm, meh idk some alien animal we caught back on the last planet we visited.
Keith: what did it look like?
Lance: idk some kind of weird purple hippo-like animal.
At this Keith gasps in anger.
Keith: WTF MAN?! HOW COULD YOU?
Lance: dude what’s your problem? Why are you getting so bent out of shape for?
Keith: HIPPOS ARE MY FAVORITE ANIMAL!
Lance: ok? And?
Keith: YOUR EATING MY FAVORITE ANIMAL!
Lance: omg are you serious right now?
Just then shiro and the others walk in, hearing all the commotion.
Shiro: hay, I heard shouting, what’s going on in here?
Lance: Keith is throwing a fit because I’m drinking his favorite animal!
Keith: HES DRINKING ALIEN HIPPO BLOOD!
Shiro looks so confused right now.
Shiro: … huh?
Pidge: only you two could create drama out of nothing.
Hunk: I don’t see what the big deal is. Lance has to eat too. And it’s not like he actually killed the animal to get its blood.
lance: THANK YOU HUNK!
Keith: still how would you feel if he drank the blood of something you liked? What if he drank the mice’s blood?
Pidge: Keith, the mice aren’t even large enough to serve as an hors d’oeuvre.
Keith: what about kaltenecker?! What if lance ate her?!
Lance: I would never drink kaltenecker Keith!
Keith: and why not?
Lance: cause she is like family! I’d never feed on family! And seriously Keith, I can’t just decide not to feed on everyone’s favorite animal. If I did that then I wouldn’t be able to drink blood from anything period.
Keith: so your saying it doesn’t matter what animal it is, you’d eat it regardless?
Lance: ok let me stop you right there. I may drink animal blood but I do still have my standards. There ARE animals I won’t drink.
Hunk: like what?
Lance: I draw the line at bug-like, cute adorable and babies.
Then Keith mumbles.
Keith: I bet you’d eat a baby hippo.
Lance: NO KEITH I WOULD NOT!
Keith: just you wait lance, someday the universe will exact karma upon you for eating a hippo!
Lance: for the love of god Keith! First off, it’s not an actual hippo! It LOOKED LIKE A HIPPO! Second, I didn’t eat it! I just had it donate a few pints of its blood and it went on its merry way! STILL ALIVE AND VERY MUCH NOT EATEN!
Allura walks in.
Allura: paladins! Get your armor on. We have a diplomatic mission on the planet kolslac. The kolslacians wish to join the voltron coalition and are requesting an audience with us.
Lance gives a sigh of relief.
Lance: OH THANK GOD! Saved by the princess!
Shiro: all right team! Let suit up and go meet these kolslacian diplomats.
(Later planetside)
Lance stood frozen in horror at the sight that awaited team voltron on the planet kolslac. The kolslacians as it turned out were a race of purple bipedal hippo-like aliens.
Lance was mortified.
Lance: (whispers) you gotta be kidding me!
Hunk: (whispers) dude, are you ok?
Lance: (whispers back) no I am NOT ok! I’m surrounded by a race of alien hippo people! This is Keith’s fault! He wished this! He asked the universe to punish me for drinking alien hippo blood and now I’m in hippo hell!
Hunk: buddy calm down! I don’t think the universe is really punishing you.
Lance: oh are you really gonna tell me that after the insane conversation we had about drinking alien hippo blood, that us coming to a planet of actual alien hippo people is just some random coincidence?!
Hunk: …um.. ok I’ll admit that is one hell of a coincidence and it surprises the heck out of me too but still, I really don’t think you’re in any danger here. These guys don’t even know that you drank alien hippo blood. So I think you’re safe.
Lance: yeah unless some mullet goes and rats me out to his new alien hippo buddies.
Hunk: I don’t think Keith would do that.
Lance: you sure about that?!
Hunk: …um…
Hunk then turns to Keith and taps him on the shoulder.
Hunk: (whispers) Keith you wouldn’t tell these kolslacians about Lance drinking “you know what” would you?
Keith looks at hunk then turns his gaze towards Lance and give him the most evil grin.
Lance: I am so dead…😰
Fortunately, the alliance talks go over smoothly without incident and surprisingly Keith says nothing to the kolslacians in regards to lance drinking alien hippo blood. Everyone goes home happy. But Lance, the poor guy. He suffered through the entire thing freaking out about if the kolslacians will want to roast him on a stake or chase after him with alien versions of torches and pitchforks. Or maybe even a mob trampling him to death with their big hippo looking feet.
When it was all over and team voltron returns to the castleship, Lance gives a huge sigh of relief. But as soon as he sees Keith walking in, he turns to him and shouts…
Lance: I HOPE YOUR FREAKIN HAPPY NOW! I’M NEVER DRINKING ALIEN HIPPO BLOOD AGAIN!!!
That's insane
I have posted/reblogged 1000 posts today
(I hit post limit on four bogs :( )
Literally how??????
I mean that sucks but how?????
If You Do(BamBam-Got7)
Requested by: JiaPichu ~So, it's me again? Huh... Why you gotta be like this? Forget it! If you do it's GOOD, if I do it's DONE. How can you always say that I'm wrong. You always want to win, tears are your ultimate weapon. I was attracted to your confidence at first but every day I went down on my knees. You magnified even my minor mistakes and pushed me to the edge of the cliff. Well I love you anyway, that's why I put up with you~
"Dang it, Bam can't you just help me out and watch him?!"
"Why?! Now I'm not allowed to go out with my friends and hang out?"
"You go out with them every night! I'm just asking you to watch him tonight for a couple hours so I can go out and have time to myself! Why the hell is that too much to ask?!"
"God, you're so frikin selfish! Seriously?! It's not like you don't ever have time to yourself!"
"Are you kidding me?! Ever since I had him I've stayed at home with him while you've gone out and partied! You come in at 3 o'clock in the morning, drunk!"
"Whatever, do whatever the hell you want I'm going out for tonight!"
"Wha- Kunpimook Bhuwakul! Get back in here! Bam-!"
You were left standing in the foyer holding your now screaming 4 month old child and staring at the door that your husband had just slammed in your face. You took in a deep breath as the tears slid down your cheeks and then cuddled your child close, rocking him back and forth to get him to calm down. Looking into his now open eyes and smiled softly and rubbed his cheek, kissing the top of his head and closing your eyes.
"It'll be alright. Mommy's sorry for shouting baby. Come on, that's a good boy." You said softly, bringing him up to lay his head on your shoulder as you walked into his room and laying him in his crib. "Alright baby, you take a nap. Mommy's going to go in her room and do something. I'll be right back sweetie."
~Every day every night, feel like a fool you gotta know. Why why why are you always mad mad mad at me. Can we go back to the way we were? If you do it always becomes the right words, if you do I can never win. Suddenly you become a different person. When we get along well I get more nervous. If I do If I do, if I say something you always say let’s break up so I can’t get any closer. Can’t deepen my love for you~
You closed the door after turning his monitor was on and then headed into your room, turning the one on in your room as well before heading to the closet and getting a suitcase out. Setting it on the bed you grabbed clothes from your dresser and started to fill the suitcase, ignoring the tears that were falling down your cheeks silently. Though after a couple minutes you found you couldn't hold it in anymore and sat on the bed finally letting out the sobs you had been holding in.
You couldn't believe that the marriage that you had once thought would last forever would be over this quickly. You loved Bam, you did, but there was only so much you could take of him never being around and helping you take care of your child. It's like he never realized that he had responsibilities of being a father other than paying the bills. You weren't even sure anymore if he actually loved you, all you knew was that every time he was actually home the hours were spent arguing over the stupidest things and you had finally gotten tired of it. You'd had enough, so you had decided that you were leaving.
You layed your head in your palms and let out a tired sighed, listening as your son babbled to himself. Bam's earlier words replayed in your head making more tears escape and you bent over sobbing.
"Why'd it have to end like this?" You cried out, not believing that this was coming to an end so fast.
Shaking your head, you pulled yourself together again and grabbed the rest of your clothes from the dresser, setting them in another suitcase when the other was full and zipping both up. Then you set them on the floor and went to get your son, turning the monitors off in the process and heading to the guest room where you were planning on sleeping for that night before you left.
Unbeknownst to Bam you had already packed your son's things earlier today when he wasn't home, you had already made your decision to leave. You layed on the bed and set your son beside you, laying your arm over him as you both drifted off to sleep.
~Your major is saying the same thing over and over, you force me to do things to please you. I am tired of these trials with already known results I’m desperate to break free. To you they’re just friends to me they’re jerks who could be flirting with you. Another mistake, if you do it’s ok, but if I do huh I wish you wouldn’t go too far but you just can’t stop. Now I say in my sleep, I’ll be good. When there’s nothing to say you always say, I’m gonna go to bed frustrated with no one to talk to. Sometimes I delude myself that I’m trapped~
Third person POV:
BamBam had come home, sober but upset, to a house filled with darkness and silence. No light was on and he didn't hear his son cooing or crying so he assumed the both of you had gone to bed. It wasn't strange given it was 1 o'clock in the morning, which was early for him to be home. He had went out with the boys but he couldn't have fun like he always did, the words he had said that morning had been playing around in his head on constant repeat and he felt disgusted by himself every passing second.
Heading upstairs with a sigh he decided to not bother you and to apologize tomorrow morning. Once he got in the room though, he noticed all the empty drawers that were open and panicked realizing that you had packed your things and were gone.
"No," he whispered to himself. "No!" He headed out of the room quickly and raced towards his son's room, only to find it empty as well. "No no no no," he muttered as he slid down against the wall and felt the tears fall down his cheeks as a sob ripped its way out of his throat.
He had messed up, and he was only realizing how horrible he's been not only as a father but as a husband as well. He couldn't believe he had said that stuff to you when you were just trying to get him to watch him, for a night! You wanted him to watch his own son for a night and he yelled at you, calling you selfish when he was indeed the selfish one. He wiped his face and stood from the floor quickly, heading out of the room now determined to chase you down and tell you how sorry he was. There was actually no way he could tell you how sorry he was because he knew he had messed up, badly, but you meant too much to him.
He stopped in his tracks on the top of the stairs though when he heard a babies cry and turned around with wide eyes, walking to where the sounds were coming from. The guest room that was now shut.
~If you do it always becomes the right words, if you do I can never win. Suddenly you become a different person. When we get along well I get more nervous. If I do If I do, if I say something you always say let’s break up so I can’t get any closer. Can’t deepen my love for you. It’s up to you if you wanna break up, I don’t care. Just do whatever you want, it doesn’t matter to me I’ll just go to sleep~
He opened the door and almost cried when he saw the moonlight streaming through the window and falling over your still form that layed on the bed, cuddling your son against your body. Now standing beside the bed he knelt on the empty side and leaned over the both of you, looking down at you and admiring once more how beautiful you actually were. He was lucky and he had forgotten that until you had scared him into remembering.
Leaning down, he kissed his son's head before moving on and kissing your cheeks dry. Trying to erase the pain from you. He pulled back and stared down into your now open eyes that were staring back up at him. Letting out a sigh he layed his forehead against yours and let his tears fall once more.
"I'm so sorry baby," he said softly to you, "There's no words for how sorry I am. You can hate me all you want but please-please don't leave me!"
Your POV:
You stared up at your husband with wide eyes as he cried in shock and realized how serious he was, seeing as how he had never cried in front of you before. Sighing, you felt yourself melting all over again and realized that your husband does in fact care for you and your son. You layed your palm on his cheek and smiled softly as he snuggled against it, kissing it before opening his eyes again and looking down at you.
"I'm so sorry baby, please don't leave."
"Okay, but we have to work this out Bam. I'm tired of you never helping or being here."
He grabbed your hand with his free one and snuggled his cheek against it, "Never again baby. I promise."
You smiled and leaned up, giving him a kiss and forgiving him. You couldn't help it, you really did love him and after 4 years of being married you didn't want to give up so quickly. Smiling, you watched as your husband layed down and cuddled up beside both you and your son. He rubbed his back and kissed his head before looking up at you and kissing your forehead as well.
"I love you," he said as he looked into your eyes.
"I love you too, pabo."
~Every day every night, feel like a fool, you gotta know. Why why why are you always mad mad mad at me. Can we go back to the way we were? If you do it always becomes the right words, f you do I can never win. Suddenly you become a different person. When we get along well I get more nervous. If I do If I do, if I say something you always say let’s break up. So I can’t get any closer, can’t deepen my love for you~
Just The Fashion Tip #63 Pride Edition
If you do, do the sailor look, keep it clean.
uppppppdateeeeee
i am now in school again, yay (sarcastic),
also i’m almost fully recovered so i’ll have to end this thread soon :( so before i go, let me just spill my brain beans into here and overfill your brain beans about how my day went :)
1. school was boring
2. during my math class my cousin came in and brought me a plate of chips and salsa. but one of the school rules was that you couldn't eat in class, so i waited for the 10 minute break after class. our math teacher, however, took waaay too long to realize she took up almost all of our break time, so i only had time to stuff two chips into my mouth before the next class started. THEN THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN ON THE NEXT CLASS aaand now my chips aren’t crispy :(
3. ONE OF MY CLASSMATES SAID HE HAD AN ANIME SWORDSMAN PROFILE PIC TO OUR CLASS. GUESS WHAT CHARACTER IT WAS.
IT WAS BOTW LINK. DRAWN IN AN ANIME STYLE. WITH THE MASTER SWORD.
i’m sorry but *WHEEZE-*
although, he did mention that he played botw, and he might have just said that so that other classmates who didn't know who botw link was would understand what his pfp was... but it’s still pretty funny to me though.
it also gave me this slowly growing urge to make my own profile pic sans the skeleton for the shits and giggles and gosh as every minute goes by it is getting harder to ignore. i really want funny skeleton man to be in my class now oh god
4. okay so in the same MATH class, we had a sort of google doc thing where people could see the doc and put their own stuff in
aaaaand...
i swear to god some wise crackhead put this there on purpose and it almost made me lose my shit in front of like 30 people
there was also a misspelling of math which was “MEth” in one of the paragraphs, and i originally thought it was some play on "ME + math = MEth" made by the teachers until later when the misspelt word was fixed by someone. it made me realize that it was probably one of my classmates who made that error on purpose. now that i think about it, it was probably the same wise crackhead from before lol
anyway yeah that's it. now if you'll excuse me, imma go and eat my sad uncrispy chips and salsa until i eventually break into a thousand pieces :)
helloooooo tumblr! if anyone is reading this, i woke up today with a runny nose and a sore throat. which means i am sick.
not very fun.
since i got bored, i downloaded tumblr on my phone after binging a bunch of tumblr videos so i could like. entertain myself while i'm sick.
and you know what? fluff it. im going to name this character development arc
✨Sick But Sexy✨
and all it'll be is a thread of me spewing out random stuff until i get better.
let's do this >B)
Sean (Shaun?, Shawn?), from the Phoenix Wushu Academy, thank you for making my day May 19, 2022. Your energy was unmatched and you were super friendly even though I was kind of bitchy and arrogant. I couldn’t walk properly for four days after that class and I’ve never forgot that. I know you said you thought I’d come back, and I absolutely wanted to, but I got very busy and my family forgot about it.
