Ill Never Be Enough - Tumblr Posts

the femme is meeee and every butch runs away from me i'm totally fine I’ll never be enough

despite the scrambling to accept loveless folks that ended up fucking over romance and love favorable people I still feel broken. I feel like I'm misleading my partners because the truth is that I don't love them like they love me and they know this. we're open and I haven't misled them at all but I feel like a fraud still. I want to be included in things or at least thought about even though I don't give people a second thought but when I voice this: 'you didn't care about them anyway. they tried to reach out before' I still value connections. after years of being pushed away by peers I still try to make connections with people and when they inevitably feel stronger about me than I do them or see things differently than I do I feel... inadequate. like my attempts at being a person are futile It's part of why I don't see myself as a person at all anymore. Because I can't FEEL like a 'normal' person. it fucking sucks. and no amount of 'oh you're no less a person than someone who feels love uwu' can fix that I can't even love my family. do you know how much that sucks to not be able to love your own mother? years ago when I was 7 I had a nightmare where my mom said 'you don't love me anyway' while I was trying to convince her not to jump into the water in front of us. that phrase has appeared in arguments years later imagine the horror I feel trying to come to terms with the fact that that's a true statement. I do care about and appreciate people but it'll never be enough I’ll never be enough it hurts and the performative bullshit on this platform doesn't help loveless aplatonic afamilial