It Can Be - Tumblr Posts

Story of a villain - Part 1

Hello and goodnight (I'm assuming you're looking for a little reading before bedtime)

DABI STANS, it is my pleasure to release the little something I've been working on for a while.

As I mentioned before: it has male POV, a little explicit smut, drama (obviously) and I also made a conexion to the first fanfic that I posted (family and quirk of the female lead)

This is a long story , but I try to use the light novel format to make it a quick reading so a lot of things will happen this is not just some "smut" fic, this is a whole fanfiction.

This is just the first part and it has over 7000 words.

I'm not sure about the title though because he's not a villain here but we'll get there, I promise.

Also, I would like to give a name to our female lead - she has one - but I'm not sure if readers would like it. Lately, I've read a lot of "you" and "y/n" on all of the fanfics platforms and I'm insecure about naming original characters so I just changed it to "babe" or simply erased it from the sentence.

I think that's pretty much it, feel free to send me messages to correct mistakes, english isn't my first language so there must be a lot of parts that don't make sense.

PART 1

“Do you ever feel… scared of me?” I asked.

“I often feel scare of losing you forever, why?”

“Not that, I mean afraid of me, like if I would ever physically hurt you”

“Wha-why? What did I do? What happened?” she looked at me completely confused, she was making coffee while I was making French toasts for breakfast.

“You’re not getting it”

I shook my head and she came closer.

“No, I do. I’ve never been scared of you, Dabi. Don’t be weird, hon”

“Not even when we first met? I know I’m not exactly good-looking — or good at all. I know what I look like and I notice what other girls say, the way they look at me…”

“You notice other girls?” she looked straight into my soul for a second.

“You know what I mean, missy” I poked her forehead “Don’t ravel my words”

“You’re burning the French toasts”

“Shit, shit, shit” I turned the stove off.

She took a deep breath.

“Are you leaving again?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“Have you been watching doramas?”

“No” I chuckled.

“Good, I hate those things, half the problems are caused by miscommunication, so please, pleeease tell me why would you think I’ve ever felt scared of you?”

“I already told you, you didn’t listen”

“Touya” she only used my real name when she was pissed “I love you, why would you care about other people staring or whispering dumb shit about your looks?”

“I don’t know”

When I was seventeen, I met the strangest girl in Japan. I didn’t know all of the girls but I was sure, she was strange, not simply weird or chaotic, strange; and the reason she was so strange is because she liked me.

I liked her too… Well, I loved her.

The thing is I cannot stay with her, no matter how much I want to or how much she begs for it; but I would rather die than letting her go, therefore I just come and go all the time.

Surprisingly, she waits for me. I only left twice since I met her, for a few months — two, five — and in different occasions I only disappeared because I needed to make my own money and I don’t want her to be involved in anything that I do, so I leave for a couple of days, maybe a week each month.

The first time I left because I got scared, I was getting too attached to her cold hands and warm kisses, I used to sneak in her house and we’d cuddle in her bedroom, she less than a year younger but we liked each other madly and eventually we had sex. I never thought I could feel that much.

“Will you still like me after this?” she asked the first time.

“I think I like you even more,” I mumbled.

Her bright eyes widened, she gave me a breathtaking kiss.

“Can we do it again?” she asked.

She kept my brittle heart warm and we ablaze her bed together. We grew up together and went from sneaking in and out from her parent’s house to going to underground clubs and bars and it was enough, for me it was enough.

She wanted more and she deserved it, I just couldn’t do it.

“You make me feel like a fool waiting for you,” she said one night before falling asleep.

Now that we were older, I’d come to her apartment, spend the night together and we’d have breakfast before she’d go to work, a good work at her father’s company. I used to pace the apartment before leaving.

I meditated a lot about my feelings about us; I knew it wasn’t exactly scare of commitment. We knew the type of relationship we had, that was clear and I was all in it. She was pretty, affectionate, loyal and I… well, I was use to give 200% of myself in everything I do.

“Take your name back, I’ll help you,” she said one afternoon at her favorite coffee shop.

“I can’t”

Because of that, I was scared

She belonged to me; she became my home. No words needed, I thought, I think she knows. I didn’t feel like I could – no, I didn’t want to fit in her perfectly normal life.

I could go anywhere I wanted, but I’d keep running back to her and every time she’d open her door for me; caress me, kiss me and make love like if it was the last time.

“We could run away together” she used to say before falling asleep.

Every now and then, she would say: “Let’s run away, let’s get out of this country, I’ll go anywhere you go” but never insisted a lot; maybe she was afraid that if she was too clingy I’d run away on my own.

Maybe I needed her to cling onto me to stay. Who could know?

I liked watching her sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I could feel time moving, I’d put my hand on her breathing chest just to make sure she was real.

“Do you remember my friend Hana?” she said randomly one morning while making coffee, “she’s a med student and she has a healing quirk, I was thinking she could help to regenerate your skin. Only if you want to, my love”

“Why?”

I didn’t think it was possible but I wouldn’t mind if it was.

“Well — I just thought, it could help you to look and feel better, even if it’s for a short time…” she was murmuring but I could hear, she had something in mind but she wasn’t gonna say.

“Okay” I agreed and she smiled, I hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.

Every morning she would get her cup of coffee and become a kitten. Then she’d go to work and I’d stay a little longer and turn the housewife mode on. She didn’t know though.

It was fun. In my imagination it was the other way round, I liked picturing a different life while cleaning: I’d go to work at my father’s hero agency and she’d be a lovely housewife, by now we’d have our first kid, hopefully a girl, by God’s grace she’d have my sister’s temper!

She would be calm, nerdy, sweet and beautiful as her mother. Of course, this was all in my imagination.

I hated thinking about my family, but I liked the idea of us starting a family. One completely different to the family that I had, one where no one is use and discarded. However, it’s never going to happen. Not only because I stopped living by my name, but also because both her parents knew about me — and they loathed me.

At first, her mother made a scandal, she screamed and punched a maid in the face out of anger, and then her father talked to me in private, he handled it better than I expected.

“Whatever phase she’s going through I don’t give a fuck, you better never knock her up, I’ll strangle you myself if you dare”

He had balls and I respected that, at least enough — but only because I loved her.

Around seven years later, that phase wasn’t over and they were getting impatient, her mom would come to her apartment and change the door’s password (as if I needed it) on random days. The last time I was still there.

“You, get out. Now” she commanded and just as I crossed the door, she ranted: “Just because we work hard to keep this a secret doesn’t mean we’ll ever accept you, I’ll find a good suitor soon and she’ll marry him, get out of her life already!”

I sighed.

“I work just as hard to keep my manners, ma’am.” I lighted my hand with blue flames. She gasped.

“Are you threatening me?”

I just walked away. I don’t do threats.

About an hour later, I got a bunch of “sorry” messages and a phone call.

“I swear I’m gonna change the whole fucking door if it’s necessary… even better! I’m moving out and will never give her my new address so we can fully live together, you won’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to”

She started a whole speech about living together, I could imagine her walking in circles and moving her free hand all around and it made my day just listening but a life like that… it was impossible.

“You still coming home tonight, right?”

“I got a lot of things to do, babe”

“Wanna go out?”

I laughed.

“It’s Tuesday, you have work tomorrow, just eat your dinner and go to bed”

“Did you cook?” she asked happily.

“Yeah, probably”

“Did you burn it?”

“You’ll find out, send me a pic before you go to bed”

“Of course. I love you”

“Me too”

I’d never say “I love you” on the phone, it was too embarrassing, but she was fine with it.

A week later, she caught me off guard. It was her day off and her friend Hana came over.

“I don’t know how you manage to live here, it took me forever to get to this floor and I used the elevator! Oh, OH! He’s here! Good morning, Dabi!”

I suddenly remembered how talkative Hana is.

“Morning”

I met Hana when they were in high school — they were childhood friends. At first, Hana was cautious when I was around, she used to leave us alone almost immediately, I think Hana might have tried to talk her out of this, but obviously it didn’t work.

I don’t know when we started to get along.

“Good morning, sunshine!” my baby greeted her playfully.

“Good morning! You’re having breakfast, am I early? Really? You woke up late, it can’t be me. Can I have some? I ate before coming but I spend a lot of energy to come, the subway, the cab, the goddamn elevator, I’m starve!”

Hana was like a shot of espresso, and my babe is a caffeine maniac.

“I made extra, sit down please” my baby served two plates, orange juice and coffee just for Hana.

Hana’s quirk required her own energy to heal others if I’m not wrong, I realized why I didn’t have to make breakfast this morning.

“So you’re a med student,” I said casually.

“I’m resident already” Hana took a sip of orange juice.

“A what now?” I was in disbelief “Did you bribe her?”

“Not yet” she smiled.

“Oh, shut up” Hana laughed “I was just lucky my quirk is too useful and we’ve been friends for a long time. I know you both if I’m allowed to say so and also I’m curious about what you’d look like if I can fix at least those patches under your eyes”

They had a lot to catch up while Hana was eating; I kept bringing plates to the table just to make sure they had enough time to talk and create my chance to disappear.

I made my way to the door and Hana caught me.

“Where do you think you’re going, sir?”

“We ran out of orange juice”

“We have enough orange juice, go lay on the couch now,” my love commanded and I obeyed.

For a moment, I thought at least Hana would be quite while using her quirk, but she was like a radio host.

She required physical touch and her eyes analyzed me as if she could see right through my burned flesh.

“The damage is too deep, I don’t know if I can fix your tear ducts, you can close your eyes and don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt” she was narrating every single step while massaging both of my burned patches of skin under my eyes. “I’m removing your dead cells, I know it feels weird.”

I felt a little tickles but not enough to laugh.

“This isn’t exactly regenerating, you can’t bring back to life a cell once that is dead, but I can put your living cells to work and create new ones while removing death skin with this massage. This might take a while, but trust the process”

A few minutes later she washed her hands, my babe bought iced coffee and sweets, and Hana kept working hard on fixing my mess.

“You can go and watch a movie on TV, dear, you don’t have to keep feeding me, we’ll be fine,” Hana said.

“I’m starting to feel bad for giving you work on the little free time you have”

“It’s okay, I’m serious”

“Well… I… if you need anything just ask” she said before going to the bedroom.

“Talking requires energy too, you know,” I mumbled when she massaged my neck.

“It feels weird touching people like this in complete silence; you could talk if you want me to shut up”

“I have nothing to share with you, sorry”

“Well, you’ve been dating my best friend for a long time, we’re adults now and I’d like to know how serious you are about your future”

“Are you her mom?”

“I am concerned,” she admitted.

I opened my eyes, she gave me her more serious gaze and she was the type of girl that stops mid-walking just to say “hi” to all the kittens. She meant it.

“Concerned about what?”

“A lot of things! I don’t know your real name” she started a whole speech but kept working on my skin with a little more pressure as if she was prepared for this, “I know you’ve been an important part of her life since high school, you’re practically a pillar! When I first saw you I thought she was in big troubles, but you’re good to her in your own way; you don’t take anything from her and you keep her centered, you cook for her and…”

“So? Where’s the ‘but’ I’m waiting for?”

She stopped massaging my skin.

“I don’t know, I never dated anyone, but another friend just got engaged and I thought… when will I go to my best friend’s wedding?”

She sighed.

“I can’t do that”, I said.

Her eyes turned to knives figuratively, I was sure a thousand ways to kill me were running inside her mind.

“But my name is Touya”

I was surprised when she smiled.

“Good enough, I’ll take that for now” she took something out of her purse “And by the way, you’re really handsome, Touya. I bet she knew before anyone else”

Hana handed me a mirror, her fingertips had pieces of my burned skin stacked but she didn’t seem to mind at all. I was speechless when I saw my reflection; I couldn’t even see the parts where my skin used to be parted.

I touched the staples and piercings I had to keep it all together.

“I didn’t remove them because I suppose you’ll use your quirk again even though you shouldn’t”

“Thank you”

By now, she completely regenerated my face’ skin and half of my neck. She kept working in silence; she started to look tired but didn’t stop.

It took her over six hours to regenerate my skin from the neck down to my chest, she worked hard and it showed.

“I heard silence and I got worry, how’s it gooo… oh my god, Hana!”

“The devil’s in the details! I’d like to help a little more but I’m exhausted”

“You can take a nap here,” my babe pointed out the room.

“Oh no, I’m sure you’d like some alone time right now. I’ll have more coffee before leaving and can I have some toasts?”

“Everything inside my fridge is yours, you earned it”

Hana almost leaped from the living room to the kitchen, she was tired and starving but managed to keep her cool — and now I admired her, but I wouldn’t admit it out loud. My babe sat next to me and touched my face carefully.

“How does it feel?” she asked me, rubbing the back of her hand on my cheek.

“Soft. Good”, I admitted. “Can you go out and buy something for me?”

“Of course, my love, what do you need?”

After some instructions (and snacks), my babe and Hana were going out the door when she tried to give her something.

“Oh no, it’s okay, I just ate everything in your kitchen”

“This is for your silence”, she said resolute.

“Oh I see”, Hana mumbled and took it.

When she came back home, she helped me to bleach my hair. I was drying my hair with a towel in front of the mirror and barely believed my eyes, my whole face and now my white hair… it was as if nothing ever happened; except for the staples.

“My love, are you okay?” she knocked the door.

I lost the words when I opened the door and saw her big bright eyes and her pupils dilated, it felt so good as if I was reborn.

“Just for now, call me Touya,” I said taking her hand and pulling her closer to me.

“Touya… Can I kiss you now?”

“We’re so doing more than that”

We started kissing, she slipped her tongue into my mouth and I picked her up, tangled her legs around my hips, and touched my cheeks with her cold hands. It always felt nice. I took her to the bedroom; she was breathless when I put her down.

“You shouldn’t have put on any clothes,” she said while taking my jeans down.

“You should’ve take yours off before knocking the door”

I undid her blouse.

“Yeah, no more talking, okay?” she mumbled while turning around and took her pants down. Put her elbows on the bed, her back perfectly arched.

“Straight to the point?” I sighed and pulled her head up by her hair “But I want you to keep looking at my face right now”

“You’re feeling kinky, will you talk dirty?”

I licked her neck as she turned around, I gently caressed her clitoris with one finger.

“I won’t make any promises”

She ran her hands through my hair. Sparkling eyes locked in mine. Her warm breathe hit my neck.

“Fine, but don’t stop” she said.

I kissed my way down on her until I was on my knees, caressing her thighs with my hands and I looked up grinning when I licked her most sensitive spot.

When I heard her heavy breathing, I pushed her gently on the bed, I got up to see her naked body and licked my lips while caressing her vulva with my fingers; she was beautiful, wet and warm. I did my best to resist the urge to go deep inside her.

Missionary was not her favorite position but right now I felt like spoiling her a little more than usual. She tangled her legs on my hips, tempting me, and clawed her fingers on my back - up and down - impatiently while making out.

I took her wrists with one hand and put them up her head on the pillow.

“You’re being mean” she whispered with puppy eyes.

“I thought I was spoiling you,” I said while running my tongue over her nipples.

“Yes, you are, I might get accustomed”

I laughed; she was so strange. She led one of her hands down to my dick.

“Put it in”

I shook my head and she pushed my body and rolled us to be on top.

“Do it now”

“We ran out of condoms last night”

“What?!”

She suddenly turned all shy, her cheeks were blushing and she covered her breasts.

“Why didn’t you tell me when I went to buy your hair bleach?”

“I remembered just now, but you can sit on my face”

A sly grin made the timid woman disappear, she came over and I clawed my fingers on her ass while I run the tip of my tongue through her, different paces at different spots - gently where she was sensitive and rough where she wasn’t - and she wiggled her hips slowly, enjoying it.

All I could see from between her legs was her upper body bounce, heard her whispered sighs and I reached my hand down to touch myself. She was at the edge of coming done and she was gorgeous, I wanted to feel it but I had to settle with my hand.

I focused on her clitoris with the tip of my tongue and caressed her hips with my other hand, her knees were trembling, her hands reached my hair, I closed my eyes.

“Da… bi” she stuttered whispering. Her body lost control, turned weaker. “Touya”

I could see it in my mind. I introduced two fingers inside her; tickling her sensitive spot to help her more and with one last swipe of my tongue on her clitoris, she was done.

By now I had memorize every inch of her face when she had an orgasm and it always made me feel so satisfied and amazed as if it was the first time. Being able to make her feel this way was like a prize, I felt like if I was made for this and only this, the rest of the world stopped moving for that moment.

She pulled away unsteady, she kissed me sucking my tongue inside her mouth —I was sure she could taste herself and she liked it, she liked leaving me breathless; I felt like I could die and I wouldn’t mind it.

“Let me help you” she whispered as she went down on me.

After I finished, we cuddled and she fell asleep but I woke up. Just stared at the ceiling, time moved slowly, I had a bad feeling and wanted to get up and get some fresh air.

“Your heart’s racing” she whispered, “are you anxious?”

“I just need air”

We got up, put on some clothes and she opened the window, I took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me, concerned.

I didn’t know, shook my head in silence and she embraced me gently.

“Wanna go out for a walk? Let’s buy some groceries,” she suggested. I touched my face. “I bought some masks in case you didn’t want to go out like this”

We got ready to go for a walk; she put on a mask too.

“We’re spies now!” she exclaimed playful like a kid.

“You’re so cute” I caressed her hair.

“What? Spy ladies are sexy”

“Dummy”

“Let me be” showed me her middle finger; I took her hand and intertwined our fingers, after leaving the building we wandered around for like thirty minutes. It was getting dark.

Everything was normal, I looked around, nobody was looking at us or at least at her, I usually walk behind her to elude the attention she gets. My babe was like a daydream, I used to walk with my head down and pretend she didn’t draw the attention of other misfits like me - but that was the inescapable truth.

She suddenly pointed a convenience store.

“Let’s buy some juice or strawberry milk”

“Sure”

We walked in and I took the mask off my face. A trio of little girls wearing uniforms giggled and whispered to each other and she noticed too.

“Hey, don’t do that! You’re too gorgeous, it’s not fair”

I took her mask off and cupped her face with my hand.

“You’re the pretty face in this relationship, you know that. Go and get your strawberry milk”

“That’s for you, I want an iced coffee,” she said while walking to the aisle. “Grab some chips or instant ramen”

“Yeah”

I was looking for her favorites when the door opened again and I heard a girl’s voice that caught my attention, her words shook the back of my mind:

“Natsu, can we buy some soju? I miss it”

“If you find it we can, you know that,” he answered.

I froze standing there. It can’t be. There must be a thousand guys named Natsu in the area, it can’t be that Natsu, I thought.

I saw a glimpse of white hair moving towards the aisle I was. “Move”, I thought, “move, you piece of…”.

“Hey, Touya, they have mango flavored…” she appeared in front of me unexpectedly and I pulled her and tucked her in my arms.

I saw him and he looked at me for a moment. Natsu and that girl stood right in front of me for only a few seconds but it felt like an hour, he looked just like dad.

“My love? You okay?”

“Let’s go” I said and dragged her to the counter.

I paid and we left the store behind in a rush. I felt the anger heating inside my chest, we would not go home but I couldn’t leave her like this. Maybe that was the bad feeling I had before. We walked to the nearest park, the cold air felt nice, but I felt like shit.

I told her about Natsu.

“I noticed him too, he does look like… that man… but don’t resent him for not recognizing you – even if he saw the resemblance, he grew up thinking his big brother’s dead, he must feel really confuse right now”

I knew she was right, but it wasn’t fair.

“I know” I whispered. I was so mad about the whole situation. “But it still hurts”

The way that I froze and he stared as if his eyes were knives on my chest. My left eye burnt and I felt my cheek wet. I touched it: a single tear shed.

“Touya” she hugged me and buried my face in her shoulder.

“Hana’s quirk is amazing,” I admitted as I felt more tears falling.

“She’s the best”, she agreed.

The last time I cried I was thirteen and set everything on fire, so I pulled away from her and did my best to calm down — but my eye burnt with each tear until it finally stopped. I supposed I burned my tear ducts again.

We stayed at the park for a couple hours, on the way home she reminded me to buy a box of condoms. Usually, we would take turns in the shower, she liked hot water and I liked it cold (my burnt flesh couldn’t stand hot water), but tonight she was clingy and tried to bathe with me.

“I can do this,” she said “I can do this! Tell me I can do this”

“You can’t”

Her naked body was shaking in front of me; I couldn’t lie to her face. She jumped out of the shower the next second and waited to get a hot shower.

“I’ll be working at home these next days,” she announced.

“That’s convenient”

Hana gave me strict instructions to avoid using my quirk for at least a week: “wear SPF 1,000,000 if possible or simply stay indoor during daytime, you’re my masterpiece right now, take care of your skin please,” she said.

“You didn’t leave,” she murmured, “I thought you’d leave me alone at the park”

“It crossed my mind,” I admitted “but I think I make the same mistake every time. I guess I should start doing things right”

“What does it mean? You’ll stay?”

I noticed the excitement in her voice; bit my lip.

“I might try”

Is it enough? I thought. She was settling for less than what she deserved once more.

“I’d like that” she said.

It was too late and she had to work tomorrow morning, but that did not stop us. I supposed I could never give her peace, but she was okay with that; or at least she was good at pretending it was okay.

Spending the day watching TV while she’s working wasn’t exactly my idea of staying with her, but I felt like a dog when I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder so I had to do something.

She was typing fast on her laptop, I examined her concentrated face, and it was a mixture of depression with a little rage.

“So… when will you take a break?” I asked her.

“Around ten, I hope”

Barely took her gaze away from the screen. She was sitting at the kitchen island, if I cook anything it would distract her and I didn’t want that.

“You should go back to bed and sleep well,” she mumbled.

“Maybe I will”

“Yeah, do that, hon, we can go for iced coffee later”

I looked at the coffee pot, it was big enough for twelve cups and it was already empty.

“Not sure about that, but okay”

I checked on my phone: nothing new. Thought about the possibilities of getting a real job, but I would need documentation.

I cannot recall when I fell asleep, but when I woke up again she was there by my side, peacefully resting with her eyes closed.

I guess I was wrong, I thought. A cozy feeling filled the bedroom; it wasn’t unfamiliar, there was nothing new after all this time but definitely felt different for the better. I tucked her closer to my chest and unintentionally woke her up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “go back to sleep”

“No, what time is it? I need to work” she mumbled and checked the clock “damn, five minutes, I’ll make coffee”

“I’ll cook something to eat”

She smiled and stroked my face tenderly.

“You should be a chef, hon”

“Right, as if I could get back all these years”

Or if I wanted that, I thought. Even if I could, that’s not what I wanted.

“I would invest all my money to open a place just for you. No one would know who you are, my love”

Her face glimmered; she really believed me when I said I’d stay. How could I ever live if I end up leaving again?

I wouldn’t, I thought, I’d have to die.

“Are you doing this for real?” I pulled her closer, “Are you planning a future with me?”

“I’ve been doing it for years, thank you for noticing” she said and kissed the tip of my nose. “Gotta work, hon, gotta work, gotta work”

She fled out of the room and I followed. When she was finally done with her schedule, we got ready to go out. I took a mask and she threw it off my hand.

“Don’t! I want to show off my boyfriend”

“Why?” I asked.

“Yesterday you took my hand and intertwined our fingers, you rarely do that. You tend to walk behind me as if you were about to mug me, but I think you gained confidence now — and I like it. Even if you burn your face again, stay by my side for the rest of my life, okay?”

“I might go back to black hair”

“I like that too. I like every single thing about you, are we clear?”

“Like water”

“Good, now let’s get drunk as fuck!”

She pulled my arm as we were leaving the apartment. In a million lives, I would never thank her enough for everything.

We went to a bar really far from where she lived, it was new to me, underground, and I saw a “no uninvited man allowed” sign as we crossed the door. I walked behind her, she went straight to the bartender and ordered a bottle of something and the bartender served many different colored shots.

“You’re kidding, you gotta work tomorrow!” I yelled so she could hear me above the music.

“You told me you’d stay! We gotta celebrate!” she shouted back and drank directly from the bottle.

“What’s that?!” I wanted to know, but I didn’t understand her, the music was too loud.

“Try this! It’s sweet!” she gave me a shot of whatever-neon-purple-beverage thing and she was right, it didn’t taste like alcohol at all “I love those, hon”

“I bet you do!”

She drank a couple of shots and I grabbed the bottle, it smelled like cheap booze, took a sip of it.

“It tastes like cheap booze,” I muttered.

“It IS booze!” she yelled and laugh, she looked dizzy already, “those are the good ones here!” she pointed at the counter and the fifteen different-colored shots she ordered were gone.

I saw her drunk a thousand times, something was wrong here. The bartender served her another shitty drink and I immediately took it away.

“What’s this?!” I yelled and smelled it, it smelled like a margarita but it didn’t look like it.

“That’s to dilute the shots! I’ve been here before, my love!”

She was acting like a teenager drinking for the first time, I didn’t like this, but the booze was fine and I’d take her home safely so I let it slide. She drag me to the dancefloor, she had a way to make everything around disappear when we were out, and so when she dances I just follow her lead.

This reminded me of one time she ordered tequila for the first time and some asshole tried to pull her away from me. She was still innocent back then, always trying on new things to avoid boredom.

She clung onto me and kissed me passionately. Her arms wrapped round my neck, her body fitting perfectly tighten to mine. Too affectionate to be in public, so I thought that was my sign.

“But we just got here!” she complained, but I wasn’t going to let her ruin her reputation publicly, not even for a minute.

It was cold outside; I gave her my jacket. We walked a little trying to get a cab.

“Touya, I’m fine,” she mumbled, “seriously, let’s go back, we barely spend thirty minutes…”

“You drank like a sailor in the first sixty seconds, how could you even measure time?”

When we finally found a taxi, I felt a little dizzy. The road turned to flashing lights; she squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi. The driver said something I barely remember.

I don’t know how or when we got home.

Suddenly we were making out in her bedroom, taking our clothes off. In a blink of an eye, she was riding me desperately, still half-naked, moaning out of pleasure and my shaky hands were touching her nipples.

I felt like the whole bedroom was moving.

I clawed my fingers on her hips, laid her down and lifted her legs; put her ankles on my shoulders and changed the pace, deeper and faster. She pulled my head down to kiss and bite my lips.

It felt like a dream. I don’t know when we finished or if we did it. Morning light came through the window, I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there. I picked up the clothes on the floor and made the bed — I didn’t find the condom.

She was on her laptop, wearing my shirt, a messy bun and big dark eye circles.

“Did you sleep?” I asked.

“Like three minutes,” she answered with husky voice.

She looked focused but I had to know.

“Hey, did you, by any chance, picked up the condom?”

“The what?” she looked at me, “I’m sloppy right now, sorry, what did you say?”

“The condom, I didn’t see it”

Silence. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth.

“Me neither” she murmured but I heard.

I felt shock; she froze.

“We — We’ve been reckless before” I tried to be calm but I stuttered, “I probably pulled out before…”

“You don’t remember?!” she reproached me.

“Oh, you’re one to talk! What was in those purple shits?”

“You mean shots”

“I meant what I said”

She rubbed her face with both hands.

“My love, I really don’t have time for this, let me clear this other mess first and then we’ll handle the other mess”, she said while typing again.

“Did you take a bath or…?”

“Do I look fresh to you?!” she freaked out, typed faster and loud. I saw the coffee machine was clean so I assumed she hadn’t have her morning coffee yet.

I walked cautiously in the kitchen, made a full meal and placed the plates and coffee as near to her as I thought it was reasonable; then I took a shower.

When I saw her again she looked better, still a mess but calm.

“How’s it going?” I asked from a safe distance.

“I got this” her tone was back to normal. I waited in the living room.

When she finally closed her laptop, she looked at me and gasped for air, ran her hand through her hair. I felt genuinely scared, but I didn’t show it.

“I have to sleep,” she said and teleported, she was that tired; she rarely used her quirk. I saw her in her bedroom: she was lying on her stomach, her face buried on the pillow. I laid by her side and tried to touch her hair but she caught my hand.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“I’m mad at me” she mumbled on the pillow, she rolled to her side and looked at me, “I’ve been there before; drink, dance, the usual, and then I would come home by myself; I know it’s an illegal bar but I thought it was a safe place for woman”

“Some places change when they gain a little popularity”

“And that single shot took you down too? What the fuck did they put in it? I liked them because they’re sweet”

“Maybe they had something”

She came closer and cuddled.

“Thank God you were there”

I wanted to bring back the condom topic — it itched my brain — but knowing that she has been there on her own before and this happened suddenly didn’t sit well. Maybe the other male clients were all accompanying their girlfriends but the bartender wasn’t — and he was a man, after all.

“Never go back there, ‘kay?” I said.

“Yep”

“From now on, we can celebrate like normal people,” I suggested. “We could buy cake and balloons if you want to celebrate that much”

“Really?” her eyes sparkled.

“Sure, it’ll be fun”

I wasn’t sure at all, but I tried at least for that one week to stop running with the wolves. I tried to settle down, but everynight at 2 A. M. I found myself staring at the ceiling.

I wondered how she does this everyday. On day five, I was losing my grip, I don’t know how I managed to keep my shit together; on day six, I dyed my hair black.

Seventh day arrived; she looked at me and asked:

“Will you go out today?”

“I have to make some money”

“How?” she wanted to know, but I wouldn’t tell. I never told her before, I wouldn’t tell her now. “Will you come back?”

I wanted to say “yes” but I didn’t wanna lie. Realization crossed her gaze.

“Old habits die hard,” she mumbled disappointed and picked up the plates. “Way to go, tiger”

“I’m coming back,” I said but she didn’t look at me.

“This happens all the time,” she continued and it cut deep; she was upset as if I was already gone.

“That’s not fair,” I said.

“You don’t get to tell me what’s fair, Toya!” she reproached me: “Do you wanna know what’s unfair? The fact that… you – out of all people – discard me all the time”

That really pissed me off.

“Shut up”

“I knew it was too good to be true”

“You want me to stay here? I gotta work too, I have to make my own money! I’m not gonna live out of your income as if I was your bitch, this is already your place filled with your stuff…”

“You can bring stuff too”

“That is not what I mean, damn, you’re being so stupid!”

I wasn’t thinking when I said it, but I regretted immediately; her eyes widened and she came to me as if she was gonna kick my balls, I grabbed both her arms and hugged her.

“No, I didn’t mean it”

She bit my shoulder so hard I wept a little.

“Touya, if you don’t come back…”

“I’m obsessed with you,” I interrupted her “I’ll see you later”

We parted ways outside the building, she went to work and I –after sending some messages- went to make my own money too. On my way, I saw some kids on their way to school, it freaked me out because I forgot about the lost condom and she probably forgot too.

“Did you get your period?” sent.

She was writing… and writing… and writing…

“No, Touya, I’m not on those days of the month” Read.

By now, I wasn’t sure if she was using my real name because she was pissed or because I requested it a week ago. I felt sick and fucked up. I thought about us pushing a stroller and threw up on the street.

People avoided me in a circle; some hero clown came to me and asked:

“Are you okay, boy?”

“Get off my face!”

He tried to put his hand on me but I managed to get away; I put on a mask and mixed with the crowd.

When I arrived to the headquarters, the morons I worked with were being too cautious as I expected; I covered my face but my neck was uncovered.

“Who the fuck are you?” my boss asked.

“Dabi”

“Take that stupid mask off, are you sick?” he asked and I took the mask off, “What the fuck happened to you?”

“I cashed in a favor” I lied.

“That’s not your real face, don’t lie, you look like a pretty kid” he smirked and laughed.

“Where’s the idiot you need me to handle? I gotta go”

“Sure, after that little vacation you just had, see if I care”

After a good amount of bravado, I went with other two morons to handle a few poor souls that didn’t pay in time. I told the others that when I got my payment, I would quit, so they’d have to find their own way to handle their clients.

“What do you mean you quit? No one quits here” said moron one.

“Funny, I just did” I smirked.

“You think the boss doesn’t know where you go when you disappear? We all know” said moron two.

“So what?”

“So what?!” both of them were surprised. I hated them.

“He’ll send somebody after your little girlfriend. Think!” said moron one.

I thought about it a million times before.

“No one can touch her” I said.

If we move out.

“What do you mean?” asked moron two.

If I warn her.

“None of you would be able to catch her, plus the boss won’t send anybody after her, she’s not the reason I quit”

If I protect her. She’ll be alright.

“Sure, you just got that surgery on your face and now you quit. You probably think you can straighten your life, but…” moron one started a whole monologue I wasn’t even gonna pretend I was hearing.

Her dad’s a big fish too, I thought, she’s well covered even if I’m not with her.

“Dabi, is she pregnant?” moron two asked me and caught me off guard. He burst a laugh “Holy shit, she is pregnant”

“You’re soooo fucked up” moron one joined him.

“In that case, I think you may quit. Our boss is a family man after all”

He wasn’t a family man, he had a family with his first ex-wife but their kids were all grown and he was married to a fourth wife now. They mocked me all the way back to our boss’ office.

“Let me be there when you tell him you’re quitting, I wanna see you get fuck” they laughed then, but kept quiet when I told our boss this was the last time I’d do this for a living.

The big old man looked at me, made a face and gasped for air.

“Come with me, man,” he commanded with a serious tone in his voice, he usually calls me kid; I followed him in silence. “I think I know what’s going on here and let me tell you something you need to know”

He thinks my girlfriend’s pregnant too, I thought. He wasn’t gonna get my guard off too. He brought a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

“Marriage isn’t that great” he said and poured the whiskey. My mind went completely blank. “Woman these days! They are… insufferable! Especially if they have quirks, it makes them think they don’t need you but they want you to give them everything you have”

I had no words and he had a whole speech prepared apparently, so I just listened and drank the whiskey.

“I know I’m not your father but my eldest is almost your age,” he said in a sentimental tone, “sometimes I just see him in you”

“We’re good,” I mumbled and he poured some more whiskey.

“So tell me, when’s the date?”

I drank the whiskey as if it was water.

“I’m not getting married,” I answered.

He looked at me perplexed for a second.

“Get the fuck out of here”

I stood up and walked to the door.

“Hey Dabi, if you ever need quick-cash, just send me a message”

I just nodded.

It was dark outside; I wondered if she was still at her workplace.

“Want a coffee?” Sent.

“I’m good” Read.

She sent a picture, she was at her favorite coffee shop, near her building. I hurried to meet her there, but couldn’t find her so I called her.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“At the park”

I hurried again to find her. She was sitting alone with a bottle in her hand, she was drinking soju now — it was strawberry flavored — I took it when I sat next to her.

“You came,” she mumbled a little sad.

“I told you I would and you should be careful of whatever you eat or drink until you get your period, missy”

“Hey, my grandma sent me that”

“I don’t give a fuck”

She didn’t fight back, laid her head on my shoulder.

“Were you drinking?” she asked.

“A little”

“Darling” she whispered, “We need to leave the apartment”

I tried to look at her but she kept her head down.

“We’ll find a place”

“No, I mean right now, my mother got us evicted”

“Oh”

So that’s why she was drinking, I thought. I wondered where all of her stuff was.

Story of a villain - Part 1

Hello and goodnight (I'm assuming you're looking for a little reading before bedtime)

DABI STANS, it is my pleasure to release the little something I've been working on for a while.

As I mentioned before: it has male POV, a little explicit smut, drama (obviously) and I also made a conexion to the first fanfic that I posted (family and quirk of the female lead)

This is a long story , but I try to use the light novel format to make it a quick reading so a lot of things will happen this is not just some "smut" fic, this is a whole fanfiction.

This is just the first part and it has over 7000 words.

I'm not sure about the title though because he's not a villain here but we'll get there, I promise.

Also, I would like to give a name to our female lead - she has one - but I'm not sure if readers would like it. Lately, I've read a lot of "you" and "y/n" on all of the fanfics platforms and I'm insecure about naming original characters so I just changed it to "babe" or simply erased it from the sentence.

I think that's pretty much it, feel free to send me messages to correct mistakes, english isn't my first language so there must be a lot of parts that don't make sense.

PART 1

“Do you ever feel… scared of me?” I asked.

“I often feel scare of losing you forever, why?”

“Not that, I mean afraid of me, like if I would ever physically hurt you”

“Wha-why? What did I do? What happened?” she looked at me completely confused, she was making coffee while I was making French toasts for breakfast.

“You’re not getting it”

I shook my head and she came closer.

“No, I do. I’ve never been scared of you, Dabi. Don’t be weird, hon”

“Not even when we first met? I know I’m not exactly good-looking — or good at all. I know what I look like and I notice what other girls say, the way they look at me…”

“You notice other girls?” she looked straight into my soul for a second.

“You know what I mean, missy” I poked her forehead “Don’t ravel my words”

“You’re burning the French toasts”

“Shit, shit, shit” I turned the stove off.

She took a deep breath.

“Are you leaving again?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“Have you been watching doramas?”

“No” I chuckled.

“Good, I hate those things, half the problems are caused by miscommunication, so please, pleeease tell me why would you think I’ve ever felt scared of you?”

“I already told you, you didn’t listen”

“Touya” she only used my real name when she was pissed “I love you, why would you care about other people staring or whispering dumb shit about your looks?”

“I don’t know”

When I was seventeen, I met the strangest girl in Japan. I didn’t know all of the girls but I was sure, she was strange, not simply weird or chaotic, strange; and the reason she was so strange is because she liked me.

I liked her too… Well, I loved her.

The thing is I cannot stay with her, no matter how much I want to or how much she begs for it; but I would rather die than letting her go, therefore I just come and go all the time.

Surprisingly, she waits for me. I only left twice since I met her, for a few months — two, five — and in different occasions I only disappeared because I needed to make my own money and I don’t want her to be involved in anything that I do, so I leave for a couple of days, maybe a week each month.

The first time I left because I got scared, I was getting too attached to her cold hands and warm kisses, I used to sneak in her house and we’d cuddle in her bedroom, she less than a year younger but we liked each other madly and eventually we had sex. I never thought I could feel that much.

“Will you still like me after this?” she asked the first time.

“I think I like you even more,” I mumbled.

Her bright eyes widened, she gave me a breathtaking kiss.

“Can we do it again?” she asked.

She kept my brittle heart warm and we ablaze her bed together. We grew up together and went from sneaking in and out from her parent’s house to going to underground clubs and bars and it was enough, for me it was enough.

She wanted more and she deserved it, I just couldn’t do it.

“You make me feel like a fool waiting for you,” she said one night before falling asleep.

Now that we were older, I’d come to her apartment, spend the night together and we’d have breakfast before she’d go to work, a good work at her father’s company. I used to pace the apartment before leaving.

I meditated a lot about my feelings about us; I knew it wasn’t exactly scare of commitment. We knew the type of relationship we had, that was clear and I was all in it. She was pretty, affectionate, loyal and I… well, I was use to give 200% of myself in everything I do.

“Take your name back, I’ll help you,” she said one afternoon at her favorite coffee shop.

“I can’t”

Because of that, I was scared

She belonged to me; she became my home. No words needed, I thought, I think she knows. I didn’t feel like I could – no, I didn’t want to fit in her perfectly normal life.

I could go anywhere I wanted, but I’d keep running back to her and every time she’d open her door for me; caress me, kiss me and make love like if it was the last time.

“We could run away together” she used to say before falling asleep.

Every now and then, she would say: “Let’s run away, let’s get out of this country, I’ll go anywhere you go” but never insisted a lot; maybe she was afraid that if she was too clingy I’d run away on my own.

Maybe I needed her to cling onto me to stay. Who could know?

I liked watching her sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I could feel time moving, I’d put my hand on her breathing chest just to make sure she was real.

“Do you remember my friend Hana?” she said randomly one morning while making coffee, “she’s a med student and she has a healing quirk, I was thinking she could help to regenerate your skin. Only if you want to, my love”

“Why?”

I didn’t think it was possible but I wouldn’t mind if it was.

“Well — I just thought, it could help you to look and feel better, even if it’s for a short time…” she was murmuring but I could hear, she had something in mind but she wasn’t gonna say.

“Okay” I agreed and she smiled, I hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.

Every morning she would get her cup of coffee and become a kitten. Then she’d go to work and I’d stay a little longer and turn the housewife mode on. She didn’t know though.

It was fun. In my imagination it was the other way round, I liked picturing a different life while cleaning: I’d go to work at my father’s hero agency and she’d be a lovely housewife, by now we’d have our first kid, hopefully a girl, by God’s grace she’d have my sister’s temper!

She would be calm, nerdy, sweet and beautiful as her mother. Of course, this was all in my imagination.

I hated thinking about my family, but I liked the idea of us starting a family. One completely different to the family that I had, one where no one is use and discarded. However, it’s never going to happen. Not only because I stopped living by my name, but also because both her parents knew about me — and they loathed me.

At first, her mother made a scandal, she screamed and punched a maid in the face out of anger, and then her father talked to me in private, he handled it better than I expected.

“Whatever phase she’s going through I don’t give a fuck, you better never knock her up, I’ll strangle you myself if you dare”

He had balls and I respected that, at least enough — but only because I loved her.

Around seven years later, that phase wasn’t over and they were getting impatient, her mom would come to her apartment and change the door’s password (as if I needed it) on random days. The last time I was still there.

“You, get out. Now” she commanded and just as I crossed the door, she ranted: “Just because we work hard to keep this a secret doesn’t mean we’ll ever accept you, I’ll find a good suitor soon and she’ll marry him, get out of her life already!”

I sighed.

“I work just as hard to keep my manners, ma’am.” I lighted my hand with blue flames. She gasped.

“Are you threatening me?”

I just walked away. I don’t do threats.

About an hour later, I got a bunch of “sorry” messages and a phone call.

“I swear I’m gonna change the whole fucking door if it’s necessary… even better! I’m moving out and will never give her my new address so we can fully live together, you won’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to”

She started a whole speech about living together, I could imagine her walking in circles and moving her free hand all around and it made my day just listening but a life like that… it was impossible.

“You still coming home tonight, right?”

“I got a lot of things to do, babe”

“Wanna go out?”

I laughed.

“It’s Tuesday, you have work tomorrow, just eat your dinner and go to bed”

“Did you cook?” she asked happily.

“Yeah, probably”

“Did you burn it?”

“You’ll find out, send me a pic before you go to bed”

“Of course. I love you”

“Me too”

I’d never say “I love you” on the phone, it was too embarrassing, but she was fine with it.

A week later, she caught me off guard. It was her day off and her friend Hana came over.

“I don’t know how you manage to live here, it took me forever to get to this floor and I used the elevator! Oh, OH! He’s here! Good morning, Dabi!”

I suddenly remembered how talkative Hana is.

“Morning”

I met Hana when they were in high school — they were childhood friends. At first, Hana was cautious when I was around, she used to leave us alone almost immediately, I think Hana might have tried to talk her out of this, but obviously it didn’t work.

I don’t know when we started to get along.

“Good morning, sunshine!” my baby greeted her playfully.

“Good morning! You’re having breakfast, am I early? Really? You woke up late, it can’t be me. Can I have some? I ate before coming but I spend a lot of energy to come, the subway, the cab, the goddamn elevator, I’m starve!”

Hana was like a shot of espresso, and my babe is a caffeine maniac.

“I made extra, sit down please” my baby served two plates, orange juice and coffee just for Hana.

Hana’s quirk required her own energy to heal others if I’m not wrong, I realized why I didn’t have to make breakfast this morning.

“So you’re a med student,” I said casually.

“I’m resident already” Hana took a sip of orange juice.

“A what now?” I was in disbelief “Did you bribe her?”

“Not yet” she smiled.

“Oh, shut up” Hana laughed “I was just lucky my quirk is too useful and we’ve been friends for a long time. I know you both if I’m allowed to say so and also I’m curious about what you’d look like if I can fix at least those patches under your eyes”

They had a lot to catch up while Hana was eating; I kept bringing plates to the table just to make sure they had enough time to talk and create my chance to disappear.

I made my way to the door and Hana caught me.

“Where do you think you’re going, sir?”

“We ran out of orange juice”

“We have enough orange juice, go lay on the couch now,” my love commanded and I obeyed.

For a moment, I thought at least Hana would be quite while using her quirk, but she was like a radio host.

She required physical touch and her eyes analyzed me as if she could see right through my burned flesh.

“The damage is too deep, I don’t know if I can fix your tear ducts, you can close your eyes and don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt” she was narrating every single step while massaging both of my burned patches of skin under my eyes. “I’m removing your dead cells, I know it feels weird.”

I felt a little tickles but not enough to laugh.

“This isn’t exactly regenerating, you can’t bring back to life a cell once that is dead, but I can put your living cells to work and create new ones while removing death skin with this massage. This might take a while, but trust the process”

A few minutes later she washed her hands, my babe bought iced coffee and sweets, and Hana kept working hard on fixing my mess.

“You can go and watch a movie on TV, dear, you don’t have to keep feeding me, we’ll be fine,” Hana said.

“I’m starting to feel bad for giving you work on the little free time you have”

“It’s okay, I’m serious”

“Well… I… if you need anything just ask” she said before going to the bedroom.

“Talking requires energy too, you know,” I mumbled when she massaged my neck.

“It feels weird touching people like this in complete silence; you could talk if you want me to shut up”

“I have nothing to share with you, sorry”

“Well, you’ve been dating my best friend for a long time, we’re adults now and I’d like to know how serious you are about your future”

“Are you her mom?”

“I am concerned,” she admitted.

I opened my eyes, she gave me her more serious gaze and she was the type of girl that stops mid-walking just to say “hi” to all the kittens. She meant it.

“Concerned about what?”

“A lot of things! I don’t know your real name” she started a whole speech but kept working on my skin with a little more pressure as if she was prepared for this, “I know you’ve been an important part of her life since high school, you’re practically a pillar! When I first saw you I thought she was in big troubles, but you’re good to her in your own way; you don’t take anything from her and you keep her centered, you cook for her and…”

“So? Where’s the ‘but’ I’m waiting for?”

She stopped massaging my skin.

“I don’t know, I never dated anyone, but another friend just got engaged and I thought… when will I go to my best friend’s wedding?”

She sighed.

“I can’t do that”, I said.

Her eyes turned to knives figuratively, I was sure a thousand ways to kill me were running inside her mind.

“But my name is Touya”

I was surprised when she smiled.

“Good enough, I’ll take that for now” she took something out of her purse “And by the way, you’re really handsome, Touya. I bet she knew before anyone else”

Hana handed me a mirror, her fingertips had pieces of my burned skin stacked but she didn’t seem to mind at all. I was speechless when I saw my reflection; I couldn’t even see the parts where my skin used to be parted.

I touched the staples and piercings I had to keep it all together.

“I didn’t remove them because I suppose you’ll use your quirk again even though you shouldn’t”

“Thank you”

By now, she completely regenerated my face’ skin and half of my neck. She kept working in silence; she started to look tired but didn’t stop.

It took her over six hours to regenerate my skin from the neck down to my chest, she worked hard and it showed.

“I heard silence and I got worry, how’s it gooo… oh my god, Hana!”

“The devil’s in the details! I’d like to help a little more but I’m exhausted”

“You can take a nap here,” my babe pointed out the room.

“Oh no, I’m sure you’d like some alone time right now. I’ll have more coffee before leaving and can I have some toasts?”

“Everything inside my fridge is yours, you earned it”

Hana almost leaped from the living room to the kitchen, she was tired and starving but managed to keep her cool — and now I admired her, but I wouldn’t admit it out loud. My babe sat next to me and touched my face carefully.

“How does it feel?” she asked me, rubbing the back of her hand on my cheek.

“Soft. Good”, I admitted. “Can you go out and buy something for me?”

“Of course, my love, what do you need?”

After some instructions (and snacks), my babe and Hana were going out the door when she tried to give her something.

“Oh no, it’s okay, I just ate everything in your kitchen”

“This is for your silence”, she said resolute.

“Oh I see”, Hana mumbled and took it.

When she came back home, she helped me to bleach my hair. I was drying my hair with a towel in front of the mirror and barely believed my eyes, my whole face and now my white hair… it was as if nothing ever happened; except for the staples.

“My love, are you okay?” she knocked the door.

I lost the words when I opened the door and saw her big bright eyes and her pupils dilated, it felt so good as if I was reborn.

“Just for now, call me Touya,” I said taking her hand and pulling her closer to me.

“Touya… Can I kiss you now?”

“We’re so doing more than that”

We started kissing, she slipped her tongue into my mouth and I picked her up, tangled her legs around my hips, and touched my cheeks with her cold hands. It always felt nice. I took her to the bedroom; she was breathless when I put her down.

“You shouldn’t have put on any clothes,” she said while taking my jeans down.

“You should’ve take yours off before knocking the door”

I undid her blouse.

“Yeah, no more talking, okay?” she mumbled while turning around and took her pants down. Put her elbows on the bed, her back perfectly arched.

“Straight to the point?” I sighed and pulled her head up by her hair “But I want you to keep looking at my face right now”

“You’re feeling kinky, will you talk dirty?”

I licked her neck as she turned around, I gently caressed her clitoris with one finger.

“I won’t make any promises”

She ran her hands through my hair. Sparkling eyes locked in mine. Her warm breathe hit my neck.

“Fine, but don’t stop” she said.

I kissed my way down on her until I was on my knees, caressing her thighs with my hands and I looked up grinning when I licked her most sensitive spot.

When I heard her heavy breathing, I pushed her gently on the bed, I got up to see her naked body and licked my lips while caressing her vulva with my fingers; she was beautiful, wet and warm. I did my best to resist the urge to go deep inside her.

Missionary was not her favorite position but right now I felt like spoiling her a little more than usual. She tangled her legs on my hips, tempting me, and clawed her fingers on my back - up and down - impatiently while making out.

I took her wrists with one hand and put them up her head on the pillow.

“You’re being mean” she whispered with puppy eyes.

“I thought I was spoiling you,” I said while running my tongue over her nipples.

“Yes, you are, I might get accustomed”

I laughed; she was so strange. She led one of her hands down to my dick.

“Put it in”

I shook my head and she pushed my body and rolled us to be on top.

“Do it now”

“We ran out of condoms last night”

“What?!”

She suddenly turned all shy, her cheeks were blushing and she covered her breasts.

“Why didn’t you tell me when I went to buy your hair bleach?”

“I remembered just now, but you can sit on my face”

A sly grin made the timid woman disappear, she came over and I clawed my fingers on her ass while I run the tip of my tongue through her, different paces at different spots - gently where she was sensitive and rough where she wasn’t - and she wiggled her hips slowly, enjoying it.

All I could see from between her legs was her upper body bounce, heard her whispered sighs and I reached my hand down to touch myself. She was at the edge of coming done and she was gorgeous, I wanted to feel it but I had to settle with my hand.

I focused on her clitoris with the tip of my tongue and caressed her hips with my other hand, her knees were trembling, her hands reached my hair, I closed my eyes.

“Da… bi” she stuttered whispering. Her body lost control, turned weaker. “Touya”

I could see it in my mind. I introduced two fingers inside her; tickling her sensitive spot to help her more and with one last swipe of my tongue on her clitoris, she was done.

By now I had memorize every inch of her face when she had an orgasm and it always made me feel so satisfied and amazed as if it was the first time. Being able to make her feel this way was like a prize, I felt like if I was made for this and only this, the rest of the world stopped moving for that moment.

She pulled away unsteady, she kissed me sucking my tongue inside her mouth —I was sure she could taste herself and she liked it, she liked leaving me breathless; I felt like I could die and I wouldn’t mind it.

“Let me help you” she whispered as she went down on me.

After I finished, we cuddled and she fell asleep but I woke up. Just stared at the ceiling, time moved slowly, I had a bad feeling and wanted to get up and get some fresh air.

“Your heart’s racing” she whispered, “are you anxious?”

“I just need air”

We got up, put on some clothes and she opened the window, I took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me, concerned.

I didn’t know, shook my head in silence and she embraced me gently.

“Wanna go out for a walk? Let’s buy some groceries,” she suggested. I touched my face. “I bought some masks in case you didn’t want to go out like this”

We got ready to go for a walk; she put on a mask too.

“We’re spies now!” she exclaimed playful like a kid.

“You’re so cute” I caressed her hair.

“What? Spy ladies are sexy”

“Dummy”

“Let me be” showed me her middle finger; I took her hand and intertwined our fingers, after leaving the building we wandered around for like thirty minutes. It was getting dark.

Everything was normal, I looked around, nobody was looking at us or at least at her, I usually walk behind her to elude the attention she gets. My babe was like a daydream, I used to walk with my head down and pretend she didn’t draw the attention of other misfits like me - but that was the inescapable truth.

She suddenly pointed a convenience store.

“Let’s buy some juice or strawberry milk”

“Sure”

We walked in and I took the mask off my face. A trio of little girls wearing uniforms giggled and whispered to each other and she noticed too.

“Hey, don’t do that! You’re too gorgeous, it’s not fair”

I took her mask off and cupped her face with my hand.

“You’re the pretty face in this relationship, you know that. Go and get your strawberry milk”

“That’s for you, I want an iced coffee,” she said while walking to the aisle. “Grab some chips or instant ramen”

“Yeah”

I was looking for her favorites when the door opened again and I heard a girl’s voice that caught my attention, her words shook the back of my mind:

“Natsu, can we buy some soju? I miss it”

“If you find it we can, you know that,” he answered.

I froze standing there. It can’t be. There must be a thousand guys named Natsu in the area, it can’t be that Natsu, I thought.

I saw a glimpse of white hair moving towards the aisle I was. “Move”, I thought, “move, you piece of…”.

“Hey, Touya, they have mango flavored…” she appeared in front of me unexpectedly and I pulled her and tucked her in my arms.

I saw him and he looked at me for a moment. Natsu and that girl stood right in front of me for only a few seconds but it felt like an hour, he looked just like dad.

“My love? You okay?”

“Let’s go” I said and dragged her to the counter.

I paid and we left the store behind in a rush. I felt the anger heating inside my chest, we would not go home but I couldn’t leave her like this. Maybe that was the bad feeling I had before. We walked to the nearest park, the cold air felt nice, but I felt like shit.

I told her about Natsu.

“I noticed him too, he does look like… that man… but don’t resent him for not recognizing you – even if he saw the resemblance, he grew up thinking his big brother’s dead, he must feel really confuse right now”

I knew she was right, but it wasn’t fair.

“I know” I whispered. I was so mad about the whole situation. “But it still hurts”

The way that I froze and he stared as if his eyes were knives on my chest. My left eye burnt and I felt my cheek wet. I touched it: a single tear shed.

“Touya” she hugged me and buried my face in her shoulder.

“Hana’s quirk is amazing,” I admitted as I felt more tears falling.

“She’s the best”, she agreed.

The last time I cried I was thirteen and set everything on fire, so I pulled away from her and did my best to calm down — but my eye burnt with each tear until it finally stopped. I supposed I burned my tear ducts again.

We stayed at the park for a couple hours, on the way home she reminded me to buy a box of condoms. Usually, we would take turns in the shower, she liked hot water and I liked it cold (my burnt flesh couldn’t stand hot water), but tonight she was clingy and tried to bathe with me.

“I can do this,” she said “I can do this! Tell me I can do this”

“You can’t”

Her naked body was shaking in front of me; I couldn’t lie to her face. She jumped out of the shower the next second and waited to get a hot shower.

“I’ll be working at home these next days,” she announced.

“That’s convenient”

Hana gave me strict instructions to avoid using my quirk for at least a week: “wear SPF 1,000,000 if possible or simply stay indoor during daytime, you’re my masterpiece right now, take care of your skin please,” she said.

“You didn’t leave,” she murmured, “I thought you’d leave me alone at the park”

“It crossed my mind,” I admitted “but I think I make the same mistake every time. I guess I should start doing things right”

“What does it mean? You’ll stay?”

I noticed the excitement in her voice; bit my lip.

“I might try”

Is it enough? I thought. She was settling for less than what she deserved once more.

“I’d like that” she said.

It was too late and she had to work tomorrow morning, but that did not stop us. I supposed I could never give her peace, but she was okay with that; or at least she was good at pretending it was okay.

Spending the day watching TV while she’s working wasn’t exactly my idea of staying with her, but I felt like a dog when I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder so I had to do something.

She was typing fast on her laptop, I examined her concentrated face, and it was a mixture of depression with a little rage.

“So… when will you take a break?” I asked her.

“Around ten, I hope”

Barely took her gaze away from the screen. She was sitting at the kitchen island, if I cook anything it would distract her and I didn’t want that.

“You should go back to bed and sleep well,” she mumbled.

“Maybe I will”

“Yeah, do that, hon, we can go for iced coffee later”

I looked at the coffee pot, it was big enough for twelve cups and it was already empty.

“Not sure about that, but okay”

I checked on my phone: nothing new. Thought about the possibilities of getting a real job, but I would need documentation.

I cannot recall when I fell asleep, but when I woke up again she was there by my side, peacefully resting with her eyes closed.

I guess I was wrong, I thought. A cozy feeling filled the bedroom; it wasn’t unfamiliar, there was nothing new after all this time but definitely felt different for the better. I tucked her closer to my chest and unintentionally woke her up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “go back to sleep”

“No, what time is it? I need to work” she mumbled and checked the clock “damn, five minutes, I’ll make coffee”

“I’ll cook something to eat”

She smiled and stroked my face tenderly.

“You should be a chef, hon”

“Right, as if I could get back all these years”

Or if I wanted that, I thought. Even if I could, that’s not what I wanted.

“I would invest all my money to open a place just for you. No one would know who you are, my love”

Her face glimmered; she really believed me when I said I’d stay. How could I ever live if I end up leaving again?

I wouldn’t, I thought, I’d have to die.

“Are you doing this for real?” I pulled her closer, “Are you planning a future with me?”

“I’ve been doing it for years, thank you for noticing” she said and kissed the tip of my nose. “Gotta work, hon, gotta work, gotta work”

She fled out of the room and I followed. When she was finally done with her schedule, we got ready to go out. I took a mask and she threw it off my hand.

“Don’t! I want to show off my boyfriend”

“Why?” I asked.

“Yesterday you took my hand and intertwined our fingers, you rarely do that. You tend to walk behind me as if you were about to mug me, but I think you gained confidence now — and I like it. Even if you burn your face again, stay by my side for the rest of my life, okay?”

“I might go back to black hair”

“I like that too. I like every single thing about you, are we clear?”

“Like water”

“Good, now let’s get drunk as fuck!”

She pulled my arm as we were leaving the apartment. In a million lives, I would never thank her enough for everything.

We went to a bar really far from where she lived, it was new to me, underground, and I saw a “no uninvited man allowed” sign as we crossed the door. I walked behind her, she went straight to the bartender and ordered a bottle of something and the bartender served many different colored shots.

“You’re kidding, you gotta work tomorrow!” I yelled so she could hear me above the music.

“You told me you’d stay! We gotta celebrate!” she shouted back and drank directly from the bottle.

“What’s that?!” I wanted to know, but I didn’t understand her, the music was too loud.

“Try this! It’s sweet!” she gave me a shot of whatever-neon-purple-beverage thing and she was right, it didn’t taste like alcohol at all “I love those, hon”

“I bet you do!”

She drank a couple of shots and I grabbed the bottle, it smelled like cheap booze, took a sip of it.

“It tastes like cheap booze,” I muttered.

“It IS booze!” she yelled and laugh, she looked dizzy already, “those are the good ones here!” she pointed at the counter and the fifteen different-colored shots she ordered were gone.

I saw her drunk a thousand times, something was wrong here. The bartender served her another shitty drink and I immediately took it away.

“What’s this?!” I yelled and smelled it, it smelled like a margarita but it didn’t look like it.

“That’s to dilute the shots! I’ve been here before, my love!”

She was acting like a teenager drinking for the first time, I didn’t like this, but the booze was fine and I’d take her home safely so I let it slide. She drag me to the dancefloor, she had a way to make everything around disappear when we were out, and so when she dances I just follow her lead.

This reminded me of one time she ordered tequila for the first time and some asshole tried to pull her away from me. She was still innocent back then, always trying on new things to avoid boredom.

She clung onto me and kissed me passionately. Her arms wrapped round my neck, her body fitting perfectly tighten to mine. Too affectionate to be in public, so I thought that was my sign.

“But we just got here!” she complained, but I wasn’t going to let her ruin her reputation publicly, not even for a minute.

It was cold outside; I gave her my jacket. We walked a little trying to get a cab.

“Touya, I’m fine,” she mumbled, “seriously, let’s go back, we barely spend thirty minutes…”

“You drank like a sailor in the first sixty seconds, how could you even measure time?”

When we finally found a taxi, I felt a little dizzy. The road turned to flashing lights; she squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi. The driver said something I barely remember.

I don’t know how or when we got home.

Suddenly we were making out in her bedroom, taking our clothes off. In a blink of an eye, she was riding me desperately, still half-naked, moaning out of pleasure and my shaky hands were touching her nipples.

I felt like the whole bedroom was moving.

I clawed my fingers on her hips, laid her down and lifted her legs; put her ankles on my shoulders and changed the pace, deeper and faster. She pulled my head down to kiss and bite my lips.

It felt like a dream. I don’t know when we finished or if we did it. Morning light came through the window, I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there. I picked up the clothes on the floor and made the bed — I didn’t find the condom.

She was on her laptop, wearing my shirt, a messy bun and big dark eye circles.

“Did you sleep?” I asked.

“Like three minutes,” she answered with husky voice.

She looked focused but I had to know.

“Hey, did you, by any chance, picked up the condom?”

“The what?” she looked at me, “I’m sloppy right now, sorry, what did you say?”

“The condom, I didn’t see it”

Silence. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth.

“Me neither” she murmured but I heard.

I felt shock; she froze.

“We — We’ve been reckless before” I tried to be calm but I stuttered, “I probably pulled out before…”

“You don’t remember?!” she reproached me.

“Oh, you’re one to talk! What was in those purple shits?”

“You mean shots”

“I meant what I said”

She rubbed her face with both hands.

“My love, I really don’t have time for this, let me clear this other mess first and then we’ll handle the other mess”, she said while typing again.

“Did you take a bath or…?”

“Do I look fresh to you?!” she freaked out, typed faster and loud. I saw the coffee machine was clean so I assumed she hadn’t have her morning coffee yet.

I walked cautiously in the kitchen, made a full meal and placed the plates and coffee as near to her as I thought it was reasonable; then I took a shower.

When I saw her again she looked better, still a mess but calm.

“How’s it going?” I asked from a safe distance.

“I got this” her tone was back to normal. I waited in the living room.

When she finally closed her laptop, she looked at me and gasped for air, ran her hand through her hair. I felt genuinely scared, but I didn’t show it.

“I have to sleep,” she said and teleported, she was that tired; she rarely used her quirk. I saw her in her bedroom: she was lying on her stomach, her face buried on the pillow. I laid by her side and tried to touch her hair but she caught my hand.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“I’m mad at me” she mumbled on the pillow, she rolled to her side and looked at me, “I’ve been there before; drink, dance, the usual, and then I would come home by myself; I know it’s an illegal bar but I thought it was a safe place for woman”

“Some places change when they gain a little popularity”

“And that single shot took you down too? What the fuck did they put in it? I liked them because they’re sweet”

“Maybe they had something”

She came closer and cuddled.

“Thank God you were there”

I wanted to bring back the condom topic — it itched my brain — but knowing that she has been there on her own before and this happened suddenly didn’t sit well. Maybe the other male clients were all accompanying their girlfriends but the bartender wasn’t — and he was a man, after all.

“Never go back there, ‘kay?” I said.

“Yep”

“From now on, we can celebrate like normal people,” I suggested. “We could buy cake and balloons if you want to celebrate that much”

“Really?” her eyes sparkled.

“Sure, it’ll be fun”

I wasn’t sure at all, but I tried at least for that one week to stop running with the wolves. I tried to settle down, but everynight at 2 A. M. I found myself staring at the ceiling.

I wondered how she does this everyday. On day five, I was losing my grip, I don’t know how I managed to keep my shit together; on day six, I dyed my hair black.

Seventh day arrived; she looked at me and asked:

“Will you go out today?”

“I have to make some money”

“How?” she wanted to know, but I wouldn’t tell. I never told her before, I wouldn’t tell her now. “Will you come back?”

I wanted to say “yes” but I didn’t wanna lie. Realization crossed her gaze.

“Old habits die hard,” she mumbled disappointed and picked up the plates. “Way to go, tiger”

“I’m coming back,” I said but she didn’t look at me.

“This happens all the time,” she continued and it cut deep; she was upset as if I was already gone.

“That’s not fair,” I said.

“You don’t get to tell me what’s fair, Toya!” she reproached me: “Do you wanna know what’s unfair? The fact that… you – out of all people – discard me all the time”

That really pissed me off.

“Shut up”

“I knew it was too good to be true”

“You want me to stay here? I gotta work too, I have to make my own money! I’m not gonna live out of your income as if I was your bitch, this is already your place filled with your stuff…”

“You can bring stuff too”

“That is not what I mean, damn, you’re being so stupid!”

I wasn’t thinking when I said it, but I regretted immediately; her eyes widened and she came to me as if she was gonna kick my balls, I grabbed both her arms and hugged her.

“No, I didn’t mean it”

She bit my shoulder so hard I wept a little.

“Touya, if you don’t come back…”

“I’m obsessed with you,” I interrupted her “I’ll see you later”

We parted ways outside the building, she went to work and I –after sending some messages- went to make my own money too. On my way, I saw some kids on their way to school, it freaked me out because I forgot about the lost condom and she probably forgot too.

“Did you get your period?” sent.

She was writing… and writing… and writing…

“No, Touya, I’m not on those days of the month” Read.

By now, I wasn’t sure if she was using my real name because she was pissed or because I requested it a week ago. I felt sick and fucked up. I thought about us pushing a stroller and threw up on the street.

People avoided me in a circle; some hero clown came to me and asked:

“Are you okay, boy?”

“Get off my face!”

He tried to put his hand on me but I managed to get away; I put on a mask and mixed with the crowd.

When I arrived to the headquarters, the morons I worked with were being too cautious as I expected; I covered my face but my neck was uncovered.

“Who the fuck are you?” my boss asked.

“Dabi”

“Take that stupid mask off, are you sick?” he asked and I took the mask off, “What the fuck happened to you?”

“I cashed in a favor” I lied.

“That’s not your real face, don’t lie, you look like a pretty kid” he smirked and laughed.

“Where’s the idiot you need me to handle? I gotta go”

“Sure, after that little vacation you just had, see if I care”

After a good amount of bravado, I went with other two morons to handle a few poor souls that didn’t pay in time. I told the others that when I got my payment, I would quit, so they’d have to find their own way to handle their clients.

“What do you mean you quit? No one quits here” said moron one.

“Funny, I just did” I smirked.

“You think the boss doesn’t know where you go when you disappear? We all know” said moron two.

“So what?”

“So what?!” both of them were surprised. I hated them.

“He’ll send somebody after your little girlfriend. Think!” said moron one.

I thought about it a million times before.

“No one can touch her” I said.

If we move out.

“What do you mean?” asked moron two.

If I warn her.

“None of you would be able to catch her, plus the boss won’t send anybody after her, she’s not the reason I quit”

If I protect her. She’ll be alright.

“Sure, you just got that surgery on your face and now you quit. You probably think you can straighten your life, but…” moron one started a whole monologue I wasn’t even gonna pretend I was hearing.

Her dad’s a big fish too, I thought, she’s well covered even if I’m not with her.

“Dabi, is she pregnant?” moron two asked me and caught me off guard. He burst a laugh “Holy shit, she is pregnant”

“You’re soooo fucked up” moron one joined him.

“In that case, I think you may quit. Our boss is a family man after all”

He wasn’t a family man, he had a family with his first ex-wife but their kids were all grown and he was married to a fourth wife now. They mocked me all the way back to our boss’ office.

“Let me be there when you tell him you’re quitting, I wanna see you get fuck” they laughed then, but kept quiet when I told our boss this was the last time I’d do this for a living.

The big old man looked at me, made a face and gasped for air.

“Come with me, man,” he commanded with a serious tone in his voice, he usually calls me kid; I followed him in silence. “I think I know what’s going on here and let me tell you something you need to know”

He thinks my girlfriend’s pregnant too, I thought. He wasn’t gonna get my guard off too. He brought a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

“Marriage isn’t that great” he said and poured the whiskey. My mind went completely blank. “Woman these days! They are… insufferable! Especially if they have quirks, it makes them think they don’t need you but they want you to give them everything you have”

I had no words and he had a whole speech prepared apparently, so I just listened and drank the whiskey.

“I know I’m not your father but my eldest is almost your age,” he said in a sentimental tone, “sometimes I just see him in you”

“We’re good,” I mumbled and he poured some more whiskey.

“So tell me, when’s the date?”

I drank the whiskey as if it was water.

“I’m not getting married,” I answered.

He looked at me perplexed for a second.

“Get the fuck out of here”

I stood up and walked to the door.

“Hey Dabi, if you ever need quick-cash, just send me a message”

I just nodded.

It was dark outside; I wondered if she was still at her workplace.

“Want a coffee?” Sent.

“I’m good” Read.

She sent a picture, she was at her favorite coffee shop, near her building. I hurried to meet her there, but couldn’t find her so I called her.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“At the park”

I hurried again to find her. She was sitting alone with a bottle in her hand, she was drinking soju now — it was strawberry flavored — I took it when I sat next to her.

“You came,” she mumbled a little sad.

“I told you I would and you should be careful of whatever you eat or drink until you get your period, missy”

“Hey, my grandma sent me that”

“I don’t give a fuck”

She didn’t fight back, laid her head on my shoulder.

“Were you drinking?” she asked.

“A little”

“Darling” she whispered, “We need to leave the apartment”

I tried to look at her but she kept her head down.

“We’ll find a place”

“No, I mean right now, my mother got us evicted”

“Oh”

So that’s why she was drinking, I thought. I wondered where all of her stuff was.