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Fear, Part II
Is there a reason
You feel so alone
With all these people
Surrounding you?
The sun is shining
And the birds are out
Summer air against your skin
But it’s still winter inside.
You’re locked in a cage
Made up of your mind
The monsters are out
And they won’t rest.
Put on a smile
Don’t let them see
How many cracks
You have burning inside.
You can take another day
And your lungs will keep on moving
So focus on happy thoughts
And you’ll be fine.
But now the winter air is biting deep
And it’s getting hard to breathe
Through all this falling snow
And the beasts hunting you.
You’re pounding against the bars
In this cage you’ve made in your brain
But the howling wind and the blanket of snow
Are melding together and leaving you treading
This deepening water
An ocean of silence
That swallows your screams.
Take a deep breath
And paste the smile back on.
Focus on the happy thoughts
And take another pill.
If nobody wants to hear your words
That’s alright, you’ll be fine
Keep your mouth shut, you know,
Conform and don’t be crazy-
Others have it worse anyways.
You don’t remember when
Those pills began to stop
And now your heartbeat is racing
From the killers in your head.
It’s all so much
And now you must be insane
Because nobody else says a word
About suffering like this.
Your mask is far too much
A weight you can’t remove
You’re a bird with clipped wings
A flower with no stem.
You’re chained up in your own mind
Gagged by your own fear
Pills by the handful
Just to feel alive.
Time is fading to a fuzzy haze
The only constant this endless nightmare.
You just want to smile again
You just want to feel whole again!
Cause and effect but this is effect without a reason
What’s the cause, what’s the root
Of this sickened tree?
They ask if you’re afraid of death
Chastise you for these reckless thoughts
And tell you to just grow up.
So how do you tell them
That you’re not afraid of death anymore?
The hell in your head
Is so much worse
Than any hell a religion could offer.
You’re not afraid of the reaper
Or any judgmental god
You’re afraid
Of this life.
Silence is a blade
Cutting your skin
But words make the cuts
Sink all the deeper still.
Anything to end this pain
Anything to cut the chains
Holding you hostage to the demons inside
If heaven is real that’s not where you’ll go
Because this pit can’t be climbed out of
The walls are too sharp
And trying only broke your will.
Every moment of this hell
Is too much, it’s a crushing weight
Anything at all
To end this pain.
Life isn’t fair
And god, don’t you know it
You’re so tired
And the waters are deep
So maybe it’s time
To set you free.