Jiyan Imagine - Tumblr Posts
Will you stay?
A/n: save me sad dragon general, save me... sad dragon general you better get ready cause I'm sending happiness your way whether you like it or not
Content: Jiyan x Reader (fem implied, but no pronouns used), angst undertone but it all turns to fluff, Jiyan referred to as a husband, word vomit, non sexual nudity implied, not proof-read, maybe a tiny bit ooc? Feedback is appreaciated
Moonlight cascades through the open window in silky streams, showering the white sheets with silver and shimmer. The world is at peace, and quiet prevails all around, much unlike the main battle front. For only a few hours he spends here, Jiyan feels as if his lifelong wish is fulfilled. A facade it is, a dream, but it is comforting in all its delusion. Maybe one day it will come true, and he won't be forced to abandon your warm embrace for another month, and more, to fight.
His eyes move from the window and down at you where you have nestled yourself against his chest, your arms draped around him. It’s well into the depth of the night, yet both of you are denying sleep that so obviously hangs heavy over your eyelids - as any hour more means longer time spent together. And up until that point he has been listening to you talk about your days in the city, your fingertips tracing his chest and the occasional scar that paints itself thin and textured, different from the rest of his smooth skin. When you trailed off, he was quick to notice. His chin dipping slightly down to look at you.
Your finger neverending in its work of drawing him out, feeling him in all his warmth, living warmth - and your eyes lost themselves in images your mind conjured of what the battlefield looked like now. Red skies and twisted lands soiled with blood of people from the same city you were in now, the same people that were once someone’s little boys and girls, daddy’s girl and momma’s boys. Only now they were decades older with heavy bags under their eyes, lying in the desolate lands under trees for cover.
“Don’t think about it.. don’t.. let that plague your mind, my dear” Jiyan spoke up, his hand coming up to cup yours that had begun to shake over his chest, fingers curling into your palms. Jiyan wished he could take this worry away from you, he wished he could protect you from the horrific unknown and all the terrifying images of your imagination, but such a task was an impossible one. Your bare body can only share his warmth and hold on to what is currently there.
“(Y/n).. “
“Tell me about your days..” you whispered, cutting him off as timidly as a petal of a flower. You pick your head up and place it on top of his chest, gazing into those golden eyes you had dreams of when he was gone. Pretty in all their glory, even as they regarded you with worry and question. Jiyan sighs softly, his eyes wandering to the ceiling and the small swirly patterns that show up with the moon. That was your choice to put up there, little swirls and dots and constellations..
“Days are long and tiring. I often miss the smell of the city while out at the front, and your cooking. The ingredients and supplies are scarce but we are alright, we are holding together, my dear” his words resonate softly in your ears, and to an extent they bring you comfort. His thumb is rubbing the inside of your palm, massaging the soft skin until the shakiness subsides, and furthermore. “During the down-time, when there’s no danger to confront, the soldiers always seem to find new ways to entertain themselves” at that a small smile broke over his solemn and tired features, prompting you to smile as well. He has told you before how men would jest and play, little children stuck in bodies of adults, chasing one another after one of them threw a boot at someone. It was a reminder all of these soldiers were people and that they were alive, but most importantly they still held onto their humanity and hope. So much hope that one could feel it from a mile away.
“The other day, before our departure towards here, they were bold enough to attempt a small jest about me and it backfired, well it was unintentional frankly, I just happened to walk in on them. I suppose a new rumor broke out how I dismiss people from the military after I give them medical assistance”
“What? That’s ridiculous.. You wouldn’t send anyone home unless they were really badly behaving or injured”
“Yes. But that doesn’t quell the rumors, especially among the new cadets, which makes me think this is some ploy of the more experienced bunch as to scare the youth But..as I was walking by the tents and corners I ran into this group huddled under the lamp, talking about this rumor. I’m not sure what came over me, but I just marched up to them and coldly began to question them, about what they were doing and such” A stupid smile came across his lips now, a childish one you relished in seeing and it make you physically perk up to hear the rest of the story. Your leg came over his waist as you tried to comfortably lay on his chest.
“One of those men had a pretty bad leg wound from the day prior, but nothing life threatening. However, he has been quite snarky with Captains and other soldiers, so I gazed at his bandaged wound, then up at him, and then I asked if he wanted me to take a look at it. The team went silent as a grave, my love- I..”
“The rumor had so much effect on them? Pfftt-” “Yes! I was quite shocked too, I had to hold back my surprise, but he went pale, I can’t even describe it to you. Whoever created this rumor really was creative, I need to give them that, but I really couldn’t play so long afterwards. I had to clear it up..”
You giggle at his words, forehead pressing against his collarbone as your chest flutters with warmth, just imagining this scenario was silly - has your husband become such a menace in the army? Him? Sure, he was skilled beyond belief, but the way he laid beneath you and the way he touched you could never make you believe he was scary. You know him, for crying out loud! And due to that, this was all the funnier.
Jiyan joined your fit of giggles, other hand rubbing and holding your back, pushing you up against his chest that jumped with cackles. “Goodness- now you’re laughing at me as well” he comments lightheartedly.
“Apologies, apologies, I can’t help myself” you respond and slowly come back to your composure with a long sigh of relief. “Those poor souls, scared by my precious husband. Perhaps I should start scolding you at home more often” Your hand sneaks from his hold and pinches his cheek teasingly, causing him to click his tongue and pull away, reminded of the way his mother would do the same action when he was younger, although not so teasingly or playfully. His arms squeeze around your shoulders, his other arm soon joining its pursuit of keeping you still against him.
“Perhaps you should not. I missed you too much, but then again.. If scolding me is the way to hear more of your voice, I could get used to it..” Jiyan says as he releases his tight hold of you, letting you slump against his chest with a small exhale. “But now..” his lips found your forehead, pressing a lingering kiss to it before pulling away. “You must rest. I know how little sleep you got the last few days..” he says and reaches for the covers that were pushed down in your small tussle. The blanket covers your back and you instantly feel warmer, nestled here against him.
The thought of him leaving makes a pang settle in your heart once more, heavy and sharp. “Jiyan.. will you be able to stay for breakfast at least?” you ask him, hoping, wishing, praying.. just an hour will do.
“.. I will. I’ll wake you up, aright? We’ll cook something together..” There’s promise in his voice and it is undeniably prevalent and true, otherwise he would not be saying these things. Jiyan kissed your forehead again, hugging you against him and closing his eyes.
The upcoming morning suddenly became something to look forward to.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Jiyaaaan request coming your way~
While training his soldiers, one of them accidentally calls him 'Dad'. This leads to the reader teasing them but Jiyan teases back by calling them 'Mom' (or the gender neutral for it?)
(Was reading tv tropes and Jiyan had the 'A Father to his Men' tropes in his character tab lol)
A/n: Anon this request was so sweet, thank you sm for sending it in! Jiyan the father of an army fr.. I do hope I executed it well. Enjoy!
Content: Jiyan x F!Reader, fluff and playful stuff, nothing more
The morning sun had long since shifted its axis towards the center of the sky, blazing down through cotton clouds that sailed the azure skies. Below them, in the open fields, west of the main base cacophony sounded, consisting of commands, groans and other sounds of effort as the Midnight Ranger performed their training. And today Jiyan had come to overlook the session himself, although it wouldn’t be the first time. He was often so preoccupied with tasks at the front lines that he didn’t have the time to be leading drills too frequently, but when he did get the chance to do so he would take it. While it wasn’t a full reprieve from the battle, it was still a stark contrast to the grotesque and twisted fates he’d see daily on the battlefield.
Jiyan was noticeably more disheveled by the end, hair messy and hanging in strands and clinging to his sweaty forehead, hands on his hips as his voice rose to meet all ears present. You have just been passing by, helping carry supplies that just came in, and loading old and empty boxes back to be refilled in the city. For once there was no rush that would make your legs ache or your lungs hurt, allowing you all the precious time to bask in the views, the soft chatter and, of course, your dear lover.
The sun caught his figure and formed a golden aura around him, his skin glistening, and you couldn’t help but take a seat at one of many big boxes at the side of the training grounds after you had finished your task. In passing you caught a few looks, and a few smiles of the soldiers you knew from before. They looked much more lively, despite the rigorous training they just went through. It made your heart warm seeing them in better spirits, wishing nothing more than to see them prevail and be happy. And just as you had recognized a bunch of familiar faces did Jiyan conclude his small speech, about to dismiss everyone with advice of rest hanging on every word. He had spotted you from the start, when you were going by with supplies in arms and soon he’d have a chance to speak to you too, he thought.
“General Jiyan! General Jiyan, a word or two- if I may?”
It was a voice of one of the new recruits, Jiyan noted as he gazed at the face of the youth, a boy of twenty or so years by the looks of it, and eyes full of curiosity and admiration. He had come up to Jiyan just as he had turned towards you, prompting him to stay rooted in his spot a little longer. A few more young rangers came up behind the recruit, sharing the same curiosity but also being aware of whatever the recruit had on his mind.
“Yes? Is there something you need?” Jiyan questioned, looking at the young man. From his peripheral vision he spotted you moving down from the boxes and joining his side, staying quiet after a short word of greeting towards his Rangers, but your presence felt like a cool breeze under this sun, and he appreciated it all the more.
“I just wanted to say how great today’s training session was, we learned so much more than we did with our drill sergeant” he praised, smiling up at Jiyan all the while, “And I just wanted to ask whether or not you’ll be leading our training session tomorrow as well? Or any other day that is, we would really benefit from your teaching. I mean, you've seen it all for yourself at the front lines!"
The other few with him nodded along, prompting a small smile of pride to form on your face from seeing their fascination with Jiyan. To them he was everything they aspired to be - strong, enduring, tough but not lacking kindness or knowledge. There were times where they were scared to approach him, not knowing how he’d react to their questions, but from observing his interactions with others they warmed up to the idea and plucked all their courage.
A polite smile curled up on Jiyan’s face as he regarded the youth with gentle golden eyes. His presence as the drill sergeant today wasn’t due to his availability, but a simple coincidence and necessity to fill the shoes of their drill sergeant that had been injured due to Tacet Discords, and Jiyan just happened to be able to be there. “Ah, you have my thanks, rangers. If a replacement for your drill sergeant does not arrive tomorrow and I am not required to be at the front lines, then I will be leading your training tomorrow as well” he told them, which pleased them greatly to hear. “Although I’m sure Sargent Jin’xi has much more to teach you, something much more important for your sound development in this profession. You cannot take his method lightly. He has seen everything I have, as well. His knowledge is as valuable to your growth, and even more so than mine. You need the good foundation he can give you” He was aware of how confusing or hard it could be to listen to Jin’xi, as the sergeant had quite the eye for details and slow progress in lessons due to his meticulous nature - but that also made him all the better for his station. He was observant and could pluck out bad behavior and mistakes like weeds, and that is better to be done here, than in the middle of battle.
“We know, general, but sergeant Jin’xi is just so hard on us.. sometimes it really seems like he has no limit” one of the women standing behind voiced, earning a look from Jiyan that spoke of his understanding but also his disagreement with the subtle message they were trying to send - please, replace sergeant Jin’xi, or, save us.
“Yeah! One time I accidentally mixed up the weapons in the storage room and he had me do everything on my own again, saying how such mistakes can’t happen on the front lines, how it all means life or death” the first young man said, brushing his fingers through his hair and sighing. “I understand it, but we just got here..” he added and looked at his comrades.
What was supposed to be a short chit-chat turned swiftly into a gossip galore about Jin’xi. Had Jiyan been any different from the man he was currently, he would’ve scolded them, taken offense at how they spoke about his colleague, but he was in their shoes once, always on edge around the higher ups, and he wished not to bring that same unease to them. He didn’t fail to remind them to not speak like this in front of everyone, and to respect sergeant Jin’xi when he does eventually return, and they gave him their word.
The first young man that approached looked at Jiyan after their discussion, both hands on his hips and looking more relaxed. “We won’t forget that, I promise on my last name! Still, we appreciate your kindness, and one more thing dad- I MEAN- GENERAL!” His entire face crumbled into a look of terror, and all eyes of the group shot to him, looks of surprise and amusement appearing before several of them erupted into laughter after taking a wary glance at Jiyan - who was not offended.
“General Jiyan! Oh god- I apologize, general, I don’t know where that came from-” he stammered, shaking his head and his hands, face flushed from sheer embarrassment. More choked words tumbled out of his mouth, desperate to excuse himself and forget about this.
Jiyan can’t help but chuckle, the corners of his lips twitching in a failed attempt to hold back his smile. “At ease, recruit. You have not done any crime” he nods at the other, his eyes softening and not showing any sign that he’s about to dish out some punishment - that’d be ridiculous.
You can’t help but crack a laugh too, covering your lips with your hand as to stifle the sound, but your mirth was evident in your eyes. “Have I missed a chapter? I didn’t know you had kids, general Jiyan” you teased, earning a few shocked but heavily amused looks from the group. Giggles erupted once more, all stifled as they waited for Jiyan to respond to the quip.
Jiyan turns his head to look at you, his eyes boring into yours and questioning your intentions - you can read the thoughts going through your head and your smile only widens in a silent call to a challenge of wits. He didn’t expect you to say something like that, but he could only huff, hiding his amusement under an abrupt guise of confusion.
“Kids?.. Why, I had hoped you’d recognize your own kids, Miss (L/N)” he shot back instantly, making your jaw drop at his rebuttal, a gasp flying past your mouth. “General” you said, accusations plenty heard in your tone as the atmosphere melted into one of jest and play.
Many eyes flickered between you and him, taking in the easy way you conversed with one another.
“Yes? What’s the surprise for? The recruits look up to you too, if you fail to notice. You can confirm with them right now” he is shifting the spotlight to you, and the recruits are quick to jump in too. “It is right, miss. Personally I haven’t been around you for long, no longer than I interacted with the General, but you two are alike, you treat us new ones with a firm but kind hand” a young woman said, smiling at you, and you feel your heart climb into your throat.
“Can we really be surprised, they’re always together too-” "Aren't they married?" Whispering is heard amidst the group, and Jiyan looks amidst the faces to catch the one that said that but fails to do so, or refuses to weed out the individuals, and his eyes go back to you to catch your response. It’d be a lie to say your relationship with him was a secret, everyone knew there was something deeper between the two of you, something you didn’t show in public due to the war and status, but it was undeniably there. Still, hearing it loud and clear like this was like a splash of cold water. Despite their chatter, the group remained respectful, sweet in their musings.
“Ah, quiet, I do not want to hear it. This is about you, General”
“Ah, don’t run from it now. You’re the one that started this” he commented, rolling his eyes as he folded his arms over his chest. “Anyway, you’re all dismissed. I have a word with.. mother over here. Off you all go. I will see you all in the morning for another training drill. Get some rest” he speaks to the group, gazing upon their faces, only to see how they looked at him with some sort of childhood wonder, and that’s when he realized he must be flushed too. A sheepish smile bloomed on his face.
“Alright! Awesome-” “Yes, sir!"
“Have a good day, General! And you too, Miss!”
He watched them leave, bidding them all farewell, and when he turned to face you again he saw you pinching the bridge of your nose, hiding away the biggest smile of the day, the apples of your cheeks redder than before. The Midnight Rangers were undeniably close in connection, having spent so many nights and days huddled together for warmth or laughs or protection, and this small exchange only warmed Jiyan’s heart, to witness how positively they felt around him - and you.
“Didn’t think we’d become parents so soon. Have we gotten that old already?” Jiyan commented, tone softer in a way he only addressed you when you were alone, and there was no one near the training grounds to hear you.
“Oh, shut up, Jiyan-” you playfully snapped, biting your lip as you looked up at him, stifling a giggle. “You are unbelievable!”
“Hm? Did you expect me to stay quiet today or ignore your quips?” he smiled bigger and you have to admire the little dimples in his cheeks as the smile reaches his eyes, making them squint at you softly.
“I don’t know what I expected, but your response was certainly the last thing I expected” you replied and shook your head, as if that would shake off the redness tinting your skin, imitating him now by crossing your arms. The two of you were looking at each other, wordlessly admiring your red faces while throwing these little quips at one another.
“Ah.. you’ll get used to it, dearest wife”
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Hiya!! I have a WuWa request, how about Reader stargazing with Jiyan and them talking about some deep topic of ur choice while stargazing? Only if you’re up for it tho! Don’t push urself. Have a good day!
A/N: Thank you for your request anon! I hope you enjoy this :)
Contents: Jiyan x GN!Reader, angst and sadness
Low calls of an owl echo over the breath of the breeze, the soft sighs of nature enveloping you in its embrace. Your head is supported by the lush grass, and Jiyan’s bicep that he insisted you lay on. His tone was low and a soft timbre compared to its commanding tone when he was performing his duties. Jiyan’s body exudes warmth and comfort, and in all the ways you needed him, he was there.
“You shouldn’t be so reckless..” He’d mutter, golden eyes dark from drinking in the serene, dark scenery up above. Little stars were freckled across the sky like little faded droplets of milk, counting up to billions of the same, yet not one less beautiful than the other.
The towering mountains sprouted from the ground so high, long rocks fingers reaching as far as possible, as if trying to grasp the fading lights and the moon itself.
“I know.. I try, Jiyan. Yet, I really can’t just stand by and watch, especially when I see you in the midst of it all, surrounded or cornered..” you respond back, quiet, not willing to disturb this serenity.
He hums, wordlessly in disagreement of your response yet he can’t bring himself to say anything in that exact moment. His mind is plagued by images of your exhausted form slumping behind a fallen tree trunk, and skin grimy with sweat and dirt.
“I know you mean well, and you are doing your best. Yet, you are not a Midnight Ranger, love, you are not a soldier. This.. battlefield is not your place to be in” Jiyan says, his gaze leaving the midnight sky and falling on you, seeing the way your nose curved and how your eyes were much darker in the absence of a lamp or a fire. “I am the General, the leader of these men, and I don’t need you to step in for me, love..”
He sees your eyes lower to stare at nothing in particular, lashes fluttering while your throat bobbed with unease. His words rang true, but you couldn’t find yourself accepting them.
“I need you alive... and I need you safe. While I can do my absolute best at shielding you while you are here, I cannot stand true to my promise to you if you’re jumping head first into hot water. Not when you do so behind my back”
“Jiyan… “ you sigh, trailing off, your lips opening and then closing as you try to pry your brain for a response that would get him to be more lenient, to see your side too.
“I know..” you say, your eyes finding his as you turn your face towards him. “I know.. I know you are doing your best, and I don’t wish to burden you with my-” “You are not a burden” “I know, Jiyan- let me talk.. please”
His lips press into a firm line and he gives you a small nod, encouraging you to keep going while his eyes apologize for cutting you off. One hand came to trace your cheek, he was almost laying on his side now.
“I don’t want to make your time more difficult, especially not when we’re in the middle of a battle. But don’t send me back to the city, please.. I can’t bear not being close to where I can see you. I am still useful here, perhaps not as a professional warrior or a soldier or a gunner, but I can help and I can learn too.. You talk about your promise to keep me safe, but what about our promise to stay alive... and with each other?”
Your question renders his thumbing of your cheeks slow before his fingers stop altogether in tracing your features, instead cupping the side of your face in his calloused palm. “I haven’t forgotten about that..'' he simply replies, the heaviness in his chest too great, making him unable to sigh to rid himself of it. Fatigue hangs heavy over your heads, but neither of you are willing to cut the conversation or this moment short.
“Don’t send me back.. There is nothing for me there..” Not without you- it goes without being said, and he feels it in his bones that he can’t argue with you on this, you’ll both remain stubborn on your stances. He knows he’ll have to put restrictions on you, to keep you safe, but until then he’ll enjoy this night of reprieve with you. The tent he sleeps in feels like a bed of nettles without you, and the way he’s comfortable laying on nothing more but this lush grass speaks volumes of that. He does not feel cold or irritated. Jiyan is at peace.
But he has to send you back, he tells himself, but not yet.. Tomorrow, or maybe the day after, until you forget about this conversation, and until the next cargo drop off comes in. Then, he’ll send you back.
“And we will be together, my love. You must be patient. You are my northern star in these dark nights, are you aware of that? The most precious person to me, one I hold within my heart itself.. I can’t afford to lose you..” he whispers to you as you watch him with pleading and loving eyes. You tip your chin up, brushing your nose against his and with that simple motion he is leaning in to grant your wordless wish, satiating your desire for closeness with a kiss to your lips.
The arm underneath your head stirs and he wraps it around his shoulders, bringing you in closer, flush against him, and you’re wrapping your arms around him and kissing him with fervor and unspoken love. Closer, closer, stay with me, don’t leave..
He holds you with such tender touches, holds you like you may fade away like sunlight before the long night, feather light touches tracing your cheeks and chin and moving towards the back of your head. He pulls away for a moment, his forehead pressing against yours as you both inhale the same air. “I love you” - it’s you who blurts it out before he gets the chance to do so, and his eyes widen with surprise. His heart drums in his chest, and he presses his lips to your again, in search of water to quell his worry, and for a forgiveness. Every note of love is interwoven in his actions, his touches and his kisses. Were the world any less cruel, it would have granted you two the eternity of this night, to forever be here and watch the skies in tranquility.
Black night covers you both in a blanket of stardust and far galaxies, bringing you safety if only but this night alone, undisturbed by monsters or people. And as Jiyan pushes himself to his elbow to loom over you, chasing your lips, a lone star flies across the vast sky, flickering out and leaving behind a silver fading tail.
Maybe.. just maybe, the universe heard your wishes.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
I don't k know if your busy or not but is it alright with you doing a Jiyan x injured reader? Like one day reader got hurt and decide to not tell Jiyan but he soon found out?
Thank you for your time and have a great day/noon/night
Contents: Jiyan x GN!Reader, angst, ends on a better note, hope you enjoy this anon :)
Thundering drums fill his ears with their haunting echoes as he raced through the sea of moving soldiers.
Strands of his hair were loose from its ponytail with more strands sticking to his sweaty forehead, small parts matted with mud and dust. His clothes weren't shown any more mercy, with parts cut here and there with blood speckled throughout. Yet, it wasn't his clothes and hair that were haunting, but his face. Pale and eyes wide, devoid of any emotion in particular and looking like two deep voids that threatened anyone they looked at.
Jiyan’s heart was echoing, drumming and beating, but he couldn't feel any of it with how cold his very blood felt - he could swear he was dead and this was hell.
He rushed through into the open corner of the base dedicated for treating the injured, his eyes jumping from one face to the other, searching.
His feet had a mind of their own as they walked past the injured and the unconscious, sparing them some looks and bathed words of reassurance, his tone so soft that, were he in a better mindset, he would've asked whether the other even heard him properly.
There!
His mind yells, jumping at the first sign of the familiar head of hair. It's you! His heart leaps further up until he can taste the metal wash over his tongue. Days have passed since he has seen you vanish off the battlefield and he had grown restless by the day, wishing he could deny the possibility that you could be gone forever. So when word reached him you were found injured and brought back to the medics, he was racing at first chance.
He is quick as the wind, running up to where you were laying, arms and torso all up in bandages, the smell of medicine and herbs so heavy in the air it made even his nose scrunch. “Y/n!” he calls to you when he sees your lashes fluttering, one sign you were awake, and your movement the second sign. You are alive, despite a little voice in his head telling him this is just a cruel illusion. His hand finds yours, fingers curling around it and holding it, closer to him, feeling your warmth before two fingers slide to the inside of your wrist out of pure instinct to feel your life pulse for himself.
“Ji..Jiyan?”
“It is me, (Y/n).. Are you in pain, are you alright?” His mind is reeling with questions and all the ways to scold you but he can’t bring himself to be angry, he lost the capacity to be angry at you ages ago - he just feels scared, the empty abyss within him yawning for reassurance of your state and yearning to swallow you into its void where you couldn’t come to harm.
“I..I’m alright” On cue, your cough interrupts your response, making your chest jump and your torso attempts to pull itself up. Jiyan is quick and cautious as he helps you sit upward, rubbing your back up and down as your coughing fit subsides. “Have you eaten anything?” He asks as his eyes drink in the details of your face - pale skin, half lidded eyes, cracked lips and few scrapes littered across your exposed skin. You shake your head, barely able to tell what he was doing as he moved about you like a bumblebee, hopping from here to there and bringing a flask of water up to your lips and helping you drink. The water feels heavenly as it slides down your throat, quenching the feeling of an upcoming fever.
“Tell me what happened..” His voice is softer now, quieter as he wishes to keep some sense of privacy even in this open space, but it is no less worried and pent up with tension that squeezes him. His eyes are quick to meet yours when they look up at long last, looking at him and taking in his own disheveled appearance.
Your lips open and close as you search your brain for adequate words, but it takes a moment for you to gather your thoughts. “My memory is muddy from the actual battle, but I remember you being ahead of me.. and I was dealing with a couple of TDs behind you.. I.. I bit off more than I could chew, and I led them far away from you and the others but there were... just too many.. I was surrounded- I did my best, Jiyan.. But I slipped somewhere along the way.. I don’t know what happened afterwards. I only woke up two days ago..”
“Why didn’t you send word for me?” he bites the inside of his cheek, stopping himself from sounding frustrated or accusing. Images of your retelling paint themselves vividly in his mind, and his heart aches and bleeds for you.
“I wanted to heal first..” you mutter with a small shrug, not knowing the true answer yourself, even as guilt and regret seeps into your heart. “I’m sorry..”
“It’s.. It’s alright.. you are here now” He sighs as his eyes flicker down to your wounds, and he then takes a look around. Jiyan’s heart is too weary to simply leave it at this, too frightened to just let you be after days of believing you were dead. He looks back to you, a bold hand cupping the side of your face and helping you look up at him.
“I’ll go see if there are any free rooms inside the base where I can help you change these bandages, they are in a dire need of redressing.. Then I’ll get you something to eat, alright?”
You could cry at his words, his kindness and desperation to help you not escape your fuzzy brain, so you only nod, lips pressed into a firm line. He notices your eyes become watery and shock flickers over his visage, and faster than he could know he is already cupping your face with both hands. “Hey…” he whispers, worrying, filling his golden eyes that only sought to comfort you, not sadden you. Or were you in even more pain now? He feels a rush go through him, needing to get you somewhere where he can hold you. “It’s alright.. I’m not mad at you, alright? Breathe..” he soothes your eyes that flutter shut when the pads of his thumb brushes over it. You nod again, swallowing your tears.
“I’m okay..”
“You’ll be okay, my love.. just leave it all to me..”
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Hello there! I hope your day has been going smoothly!
As your requests are currently open (I hope I read it right), may I request Platonic!Jiyan x Sibling!Reader Angst, where reader dies not because they are a midnight ranger, but because of a chronic disease they were diagnosed with?
Reader and Jiyan can be twins, or Jiyan can be the older brother. Up to you!
I hope you have a great day!
A/N: Not sure what to say other than that I love writing angst and that I hope you enjoy this anon, sorry for the wait :)
Contents: Familial Jiyan x Twin!Reader, GN pronouns, angst, short lol, character death
Death crawls through the midnight blue washed streets of the Jinzhou, its flaky claws seeking and scratching. And seek out their victim it did. Found in a cozy bed that reeked of illness and herbal medicine. Ashes of incense laid on top of a long wooden tray fashioned in the looks of a dragon.
There were more dragon motifs sprawled around, in the embroidery of the blankets, on the painting, on tea cups and jewelry, but not one of those could protect the one confined within the bed and the one forever gone. Pale skin glistened with the remnants of sweat and water they were bathed in, and their hair smelled of old flowers in summer heat, and it was only going to get worse should they remain here, hand held by the person closest to them.
Jiyan. The General. The Qingloong. The medic in his youth. Their brother.
He had returned from the front lines at long last for a short reprieve, only to find his beloved sibling in a worse state than last time. It horrified him even more than the sights he encountered in war, and it shook him to the core. What’s worse, he could smell death waiting at the front door, and entering behind his heel after he went into the bedroom..
His hands gingerly held onto their cold hand, knuckles pressed against his forehead as he remains quiet, foolishly hoping warmth would spring to their skin and they’d greet him with a ruffle to his hair and call him silly for worrying so much. He swallows thickly, cheeks wet from the trail his tears left behind and he breathes out a breath so heavy, one would question how the world didn’t cave in where he sat.
“I love you…so much..” he whispers before lifting his head up, eyes fluttering shut to spare himself the sight of their forever slumbering face, his lips lingering on their knuckles in expression of love they’d never feel again.
They didn’t share just blood, they shared their childhood years, interests, and they shared their mother’s womb together. Their bond was one closer than any other, yet it was severed all the same as any other.
“I miss you…”
Even with all the knowledge Jiyan could’ve plucked from Jinzhou and from the outside nations, all various medical practices and all kinds of healers, Jiyan couldn’t save them.
Maybe in another life he saves them, but in this one he gets to carry their memories until his own demise, forever haunted by their absence.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Hello there! I hope you’re doing good in terms of exams and remember to take breaks in between studying!!
I have a request but please feel free to leave it or skip over this one if you’re not up for it!
I was wondering if you could write how Jiyan and Aalto (separately) would react to soldier!reader who’s known to be always comforting others + helping people but in this situation finds the reader hidden somewhere and having a breakdown due to mental and physical exhaustion (but struggles to ask for help)?
A/N: Thank you anon, I try to keep that in mind at all times <3 And I hope you enjoy this!
Contents: angst to comfort fluff, panic attack, gn reader, not proof read
Jiyan:
Days have passed and what felt like years have built up in a tight ball that lodged itself in your throat, preventing the dusty, but much needed, air to fill your lungs. It has been days since it had begun to build up, but with hopes for a better tomorrow you swept it under the rug, letting it fester and multiply to each corner of your being until it had you shackled down onto the floor in this pitiful corner of ruins. The camp wasn’t too far off, you think through broken words flashing through your head, if they need me I’ll be able to hear them. Tears bubbled up to your eyes, stinging and burning.
It’s been so long since you saw the city, smelled the flowers and felt the touch of your beloved, and nothing in the world could help you escape this feeling of the earth shattering under the soles of your feet. Your vision was blurry, mind spinning and lungs burning and burning. Rationale has long since left you, and you crumbled further, foolishly thinking of insignificant mistakes of your past.
Out of nowhere, a hand sprung up from the blurriness of the world, muddy waters of reflection caching color of teal and yellow and black as the hand grabs your shoulder. Fear engulfs you as you see General Jiyan standing in front of you, although your tears nearly blind you - you could never mistake the signature look of him. You could recognize him blind and deaf.
“J-Jiyan-” you choke, hiding your face away as ragged breaths wreck your body, the body that refused to stand up to greet him. You had no strength, no will. Your ears catch some muddled words and from the corner of your eyes you can see his mouth moving as he spoke, but none of them reach you. It’s hard. So hard to breathe and you’re shaking your head, wanting to ask for help but refusing to do so yet needing to be held.
This dilemma is written all over your face, your shaky fingers and Jiyan goes quiet, realizing the futility of questioning you, and instead he takes the matters in his own hands and sits beside you. His back pressed against the old, cold wall behind the two of you and one of his muscular arms finds its way around your shoulders, bringing you closer into him. Your body can’t resist, even if you wanted to, and it bends to his will, your arms reaching around him in some childish chase of comfort. If your mind was any more calm you would have felt embarrassed, ashamed.
Jiyan stays quiet for a while longer, simply holding you and lending you his company for as much as possible, hoping he or you aren’t called up. Just for a while longer, he says to himself. His hand rubbing up and down your back. As you slowly catch your breath and collect yourself he begins to speak, tone gentle and so full of warmth, he doesn’t want to let you go until you can stand on your own once more, and even then he’d be there to help you walk.
“Deep breaths, (Y/N)... It’s all right now, there’s no danger around us.. you’re safe..”
“You’ve been doing so much for others, yet you neglected yourself for even longer than that. You mustn’t do that…”
“I’m here to support you however I can, for now we can sit here for some time longer, until you’re sure you want to head out”
“Don’t rush yourself, and no need to be embarrassed. I find myself feeling the same as some times, but it is the thought of you that gets me through it all.. You’re human just like the rest of us. I’m here for you.."
Aalto:
What was supposed to be a simple run-in-and-out became much more complicated, the mission stretching on into the night and into the early mornings when the first lights pierced the belly of the sky. Your heart was ringing between your ears, drumming a haunting song that would have you exhausted for days to come. Had it been you alone, you would have considered turning back - no mission was worth losing your life over. But there were team members involved, all of them so close to you. How could you let them go alone, let them get hurt?
It doesn’t matter now. The mission was successful, yet you were still stuck in the memories from so many months ago? Get a hold of yourself - breathe.
Breathe.
I can’t - the little voice squeaks at the back of your head, full of tears and desperation as you walk home from duty. Your legs are barely carrying you up the steps that feel like a serpents winding body, one misstep and you’ll find yourself falling into its mouth. With a fuzzy mind you fight your way to the front door and fall in with stuttering steps, an invisible hand coming to grab you by the throat and choke you until you’re crumbling on the floor. The front door was left ajar for anyone to help themselves too, but that fact escaped you as you found yourself pressing into the foot of your couch, curled up and crying from exhaustion and the aching in your bones. All you can think of is how much more you could have done for them, how much you could’ve done for the mission.
“(Y/N)? Hey-!” A voice calls from the void, scolding you, sharp and quick but echoing. It calls for you over and over again, and it is not until your body is being turned onto its back that you realize you’re not alone. “Are you alright? Hey, talk to me” The voice finally clears up. It’s not angry or annoyed, but so worried unlike your mind had made you believe. It’s not the voice of the captain but.. Aalto.
Your eyes blink at him in quick successions, trying to rid themselves of tears while feeling more come up. His gloved hand is supporting the back of your head, the other one feeling your other arm up and down in attempts to comfort you. “Breathe.. breathe.. Come on, up to me, now” he says, gently pulling you up and despite his best attempts to make his tone more lighthearted, he fails miserably. Concern is evident, but he has way more reins on it.
He positions your forehead to rest against his shoulder, tugging your body closer until you are practically in his lap, his arms wrapped around you. “Breathe with me, come on.. in…..and out..” He coaches softly, rubbing your back and then carding his fingers through your hair, and as he feels you shift he lessens his hold - allowing you to slot yourself against him and wrap your arms around him in return. Slowly, Aalto begins to rock you back and forth, his tongue betraying him in this dire situation, so he hopes his presence is enough. After a while he tries to playfully scold you for this behavior, saying how you nearly had his heart stop when he saw you on the floor, but the undertones speak volumes of how seriously this affected him too.
“No, no, you’re not going anywhere yet. You need to take a breather - like I’ve been telling you to do so for months”
“Here, let me help you up. The couch is way more comfortable than the ground.. yeah- that’s it, good job, champ. You’re my champ, y’know?”
“How about I whip us something to drink, hm? You got nothing to worry about, I’ll have it all handled and ready before you can even think about it”
“Do you want to talk about it..? I know it all happened some time ago, but it is clearly holding you down. So tell me what’s on your mind, I’m all ears. You know I can help, in one way or another- but I need to..”
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Hello
Would you feel comfortable writing about periods?
If so I wanted to request Jiyan and Mortefi comforting reader during one
Thank you in advance ^^
A/N: Thank you for the request! I went with writing hcs for this, since those are easier to get done. So I do hope you like them anon :)
Jiyan:
-He is not around too much to really be in tune with your cycles but he is no stranger to them. He was raised by his mother who was a medic and not really the person to evade the subject simply because he was a boy
-When he is around and not fighting Tacet Discords or some other beast out there, he will be tending to you. Be it by spending time with you, holding you as you sleep or holding hands as you browse the market down the street - he needs to make up for all the lost time while he was away
-For this specific scenario, Jiyan wouldn’t need much verbal confirmation from you that you’re on your period. He sees the way you hold one hand over your belly and sees the even more obvious - blood stains on the sheets.
-You won’t find any judgment from him, he doesn’t think twice before he’s already looking for new sheets to change the bed while you’re in the bathroom. This man has seen far worse things to even be made to raise a brow at a little bit of blood on the blankets.
-Doesn’t make any fuss about it and asks whether you’d like him to prepare you anything to help with cramps or if you’d like a massage. And he is quick to tell you to lay down on the bed or sit at the dining table if you choose one or the other. Jue knows he’s tired as hell so when he sees you dozing off after taking medicine or getting your muscles worked out by his calloused big hands, he’s right there with you
-If you’d allow him, he’d spoon you and keep one hand on your abdomen. Sometimes he does it unconsciously too while cuddling, and the warmth of his hand definitely brings comfort and some ease from the aching pain there
-If you happen to be low on any hygiene products he can get them for you - although he will ask a lot about your preferred brands. If they don’t have X product, will Z product work for you? Or maybe a Y product? etc..
-Should you be feeling really emotional due to the wonders of a period, Jiyan is quite cautious to not upset you, and may lack in words a bit, offering you more silence if he sees that’s what would work for you. If you need reassurance he is there to give it to you too, he does strive for a good balance of everything, but he does prefer to communicate everything clearly. Tell him what you need, what you want him to do, and he is at it.
-It’s all domestic fluff with this man, he’s really chill and only worries if you’re in huge amounts of pain or if you refuse his help.
-You’re in safe hands if Jiyan is there to help you.
Mortefi:
-May come off as a person that would be disgusted by periods or anything that makes a mess, but he is not.
-Although he does fret or fuss a little over any bloodied sheets or a spot on the couch, he is quick to reassure you it’s not your fault - In a nutshell, it comes off like he’s angry at your uterus or pads for letting it all out rather than you. You can’t help it
-He cleans it all up on his own, no one else can do it as perfectly as he needs it all to be
-Doesn’t mind if you stay in bed for longer, and he makes it a point to check up on you throughout the day, even if it happens to be a work day for him, he will make time to walk back home or at least send you a text or give you a call just to make sure you’re doing well
-Doesn’t let you eat much, or any, fast processed food. Instead you get to indulge into even more of his own cooking!
-Besides his favorites - deserts of all sorts - he is not half bad at making good, healthy dishes that hold an abundance of all things good for you
-It’s like having your own personal chef, and he surely does not disappoint. If you happen to be craving something specific and there’s not a food out there that encapsulates that taste, he figures out a new dish just for you
-He would love it if you were at the dining table while he was making all these foods because he loves to talk to you and hear you talk to him, it gives him time to remind you in his own way that he cares
-It feels like he mothers you at times, but he is sweet for it. Sometimes you may catch his ears being dusted with red blush if he says something more straightforward about these feelings.
-Mortefi would also make sure to bring home quality hygiene products. He’d rather not risk your skin getting irritated, he wants you to be comfortable. He gets you heat bottles too, sometimes he uses them too if he has a stomach ache or a particularly bad headache.
-Not big on cuddles but will indulge you all the way. You just need to slide up to his side and draw his arm over your shoulders and he’s pulling you further in.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Hi! Could I request Jiyan, who didn't realise he was in love with his best friend!reader until he almost lost them. The moment he held them unconscious in his arms everything just clicked.
Angst with a happy ending, please.
A/n: sorry this took some time to write! I initially planned to write this as some short drabble/scenario but as you can see, things went out of control lol I do hope you enjoy this :) Also a small note - I initially wrote this with you/yours stuff, but I wanted to experiment this method, so I do apologize if there is some mistakes left here regarding that. Do tell me which one you guys prefer more? You/yours or they/them/she/her.
Contents: Jiyan x GN!Reader, they/them pronouns, blood and injuries, angst but turns to bittersweet at the end, fluff? They both live at the end so we can count it as a happy ending.
Words: 3867
'I can't do this without you'
Holding the weight of a body in his arms never felt heavier before. The gradual added weight on his heart and lungs kept getting heavier and heavier by the moment, he was sure it would make his ribs burst from the pressure. And he wouldn’t be surprised if the next time he looked down he saw his own heart beating outside his very body. (Y/n) was pale, bleeding and giving no response to any action he took. “Please..” His lips muttered, but to what extent his plea stretched out, no one could tell.
His dragon came crashing through the waves of TDs like a storm, breaking apart their limbs and turning them to ash before he himself emerged from its glowing maw, jumping in front of (Y/n) with spear in hand. Jiyan’s face twisted in a fierce scowl, his sharp eyes hooded beneath his knit brows as he plunged into the remaining monsters that lurked around. But not even after he dealt with them did he achieve the quiet that usually followed a concluded battle. The buzzing in his ears did not stop. His heart beat still thundered between his ears, and the sound only multiplied once his golden eyes landed on the falling body of his dearest companion.
There was no time, he told himself, gathering all the courage and patience he found within himself, gathering them in his arms and fleeing from the charred fields as if fire was threatening to lick up his heel. The buzzing sound was deafening, so akin to silence yet it was everything but. He heard nothing else, but he heard it all. As he pushed his way past the soldiers at the front, eyes wide and staring into the void, trusting only his feet to find the path for him. He needs nothing else but to hurry and scold himself for not being able to go faster.
He carried them into the first medical tent his eyes landed on, the flap of the tent slapping out of place and before his form and before he could process the light slap the material did to his cheek, he was placing them down onto one rolled out mat in the corner. He saw the lips of the medical staff move, but no words reached his ears, and for all he knew he could’ve been barking or whispering at them to do something - to help them. He joined in the efforts, plucking out the gauze and the antiseptics from the corners of the tent and gathering them next to the mat as one healer already began to cut away their dirty clothes to gain better access to the wound.
The bare skin glistened with blood, the only shade of theirs that could make Jiyan feel sick to the stomach. Other healers in the tent looked at him in bewilderment as his breathing was yet to calm down, labored and ragged, but his hands held utmost care and precision as he started on the gauze, already keeping steps ahead and waiting until the healer next to him peeled the clothes away. Each layer unfolded like a wet petal, revealing the yawning gash underneath. Jiyan’s golden eyes turned a shade darker under the pressure and the light in the tent, turning a shade of olive instead, sick with worry. Were they gone already? He looks at their face, glimpsing their peaceful expression, dotted with splatters of blood and grime. They’re still bleeding, he notes as his fingers become slick with blood whilst he worked on their wound, there was still a beating heart inside of them, and that meant life. His mind spun prayers on repeat, prayers he thought he had long since forgotten the words of, favoring battle chants over putting his hope into something he couldn’t see or touch. How long till (Y/n) wakes?
Long time has passed until his mind has reeled back around to the present. He was alone now, aside from (Y/n), huddled on a small wooden chair in the opposite corner from which he could see them, patched up and under the light. His hands, once so calm and steady, had begun to shake as realization settled within him. How he could have so easily lost them, with so many words yet to be spoken, hurt more than any wound he sustained. Blood caked on his fingers, falling off into dust as he flexed them into a fist before releasing again. All the worry made him angry, and anger never suited him. It made him think badly, irrationally, and in the silence that followed the medical emergency of their state, all thoughts took root deep within his mind and soul, festering like a neglected cut. (Y/n) shouldn’t have been allowed on the front lines, he should have set them back, or even better - he should have misused his position and sent them home, risking to humiliate them for being sent home for seemingly nothing, other than his selfish need to keep them safe on all accounts.
Sighing, Jiyan shuddered at his own mind’s skilled ways of wearing him down. It played out his image and character in ways he knew he’d never act. He’d never do those things, but in such a state as he was in, he nearly believed it all. Pressing his forehead into the clean heels of his palms he stared at his own boots until the silence became a soft comforting buzz. Sleep had tried to pull himself down his eyelids, but each time he refused it, eventually finding himself sitting at their side again, instead of the faraway corner. Long hours had passed, and Jiyan felt the camp go to bed with the night settling in the corners of the world. But he couldn’t, it would be a disservice to you if he left you alone, but his duty called - and he internally begged for forgiveness as he stepped out of the tent to check up on all the others, cleaning his hands while he was at it.
There was blood on his hands.
And it was theirs.
And he’d never be able to wash it away, no matter how hard he scrubbed, or how many times he washed his hands.
Morning came chill and misty, but Jiyan’s body felt none of it. The cold clung onto him like a second coat, greeting him like an old friend and embracing him as the same. He only hoped the cold did not embrace them too. The night was sleepless for Jiyan, and after he had ensured the safety of others and checked in with his Captains, he had found his way back to the medical tent he left (Y/n) in.
“There’s a lot for me to say, my dear…friend..” Jiyan’s pale lips formed the last word hesitantly, treating it as an impostor instead of the usual warming endearment in which fashion he used it years ago. The word had long since become strange to him, yet he wished not to risk disrespecting them in this state, heavily considering the fact they may not even share in his sentiments. “Yet you seem so eager to cut your life short.. “ he sneered lightly, not at them, but rather at himself, blame always within reach to be pulled towards himself by his very hand.
“What would I do without you..? Who would I be without you?” The world around him seemed to quiet down in silent sympathy. “You mean so much more than you believe, more than you know.. I’ve wished to tell you, but all you force me to do is scold you and weep over you like some child… like when we were kids…”
A twitch, and then the fingers of (Y/n)’s hand grasped into a fist, making his eyes widen at the sight he barely glimpsed with his head hanging low, staring at the ground. His golden eyes snapped to their face, seeing the corners of their lips curl downward into a pain filled scowl.
“(Y/n)!-” he beamed with all the softness his surprise would allow him as he kneeled beside them in one swift swoop. His hand came over their eyes to shield it from the light once he saw how their nose scrunched and brows knit together. Relief filled their eyes as the intrusive light no longer tried to pry them open so cruelly. Dizziness was still huge, feeling as if it split their blood apart, making it as light as clouds, and making them float on top of the mat.
“What’re you.. rambling about…?” (Y/n) muttered, throat dry and voice coarse and wincing, their face once more ended up in a painful twist. Jiyan didn’t need all his medical knowledge to see they were still out of it, his frown deepening, but his heart raced up to climb into his throat.
“I was saying how reckless you can be..” he whispered, blinking away the nervousness from his eyes. His other hand hovered over them, refusing to touch them in fear of hurting them. But his eyes drank in everything, looking for any anomalies that he may have not noticed before, although the chance he missed something was astronomically low with how keenly his eyes kept vigil over you throughout the night. “Are you in pain? Tell me, I’ll help make it better” he told them, shuffling as he loomed over their body.
(Y/n)’s eyes still refused to open after they fluttered shut, their throat bobbing, but swallowing nothing with how parched it felt. “Water..” They croaked, and suddenly light was kissing their eyelids again as Jiyan moved away in haste to fetch a bottle of water.
He returned as quickly as he left, swift as the wind and helping them drink with one hand stabilizing their head and the other holding the bottle to their chapped lips, watching them carefully as they languidly took sips to drink. The gloved iron claw on his finger faintly scratched against their scalp, tangled between their hairs. Letting out a small sigh, thirst finally quenched, they finally opened their eyes to see just how disheveled and worried Jiyan looked.
“Jiyan..” (Y/n) called him, watching as his face both hardened and mellowed at the drop of his name in that worn out tone. Their face looked confused to see him like this, not that they ever doubted he’d worry if they got injured, but the tension within this space felt like a maw of a beast, ready to snap its jaws shut. Something was amiss, something they couldn’t quite place. The aching throb in their side didn’t subside, but they were able to somewhat ignore it for now, worry poisoning them into thinking of the worst - whatever could be worse than their own life nearly being taken away. The question remained unsaid, but it appeared as if Jiyan didn’t need the verbal communication to respond.
“Nothing- don’t worry about it.. Please, lay down and tell me how you feel” He urged as he placed his palm onto their sweaty forehead, pushing it back onto the small pillow below. (Y/n) blinked, confused and scared and exhausted as he pawed gently at their skin, only pulling away after he ensured there was no rising heat.
“I’m.. aching.. that’s all.. and sore all over”
“I believe that to be an understatement, this isn’t some small scratch.. You nearly..” Jiyan looks at the bandages, splotches of red already having bloomed through like little poppies in a faraway field. “I’ll get you something for the pain now… Don’t move.” It was a command, that last part, and left no room for any question or rebuttal as he lifted himself away, painfully severing the moment in favor of searching the place for painkillers and herbs. If there was a way to remain glued to their side and heal them in that way, he wouldn’t have ever left, and that option would have done his heart many favors.
“When will you start listening to orders?” he asked as he walked back to the mat, his hand grasping the gorge shaped pill box his mother gave him, his tone now heralding the lesson he was about to drop on them. His eyes refused to meet theirs as he crouched down again, popping the lid of the gorge open and letting two pills fall into his open palm.
“Whenever you... decide to be less dense..” (Y/n) responded with a small cough that rippled the pain from their wound, and wincing they forced themselves to stay still. He did not take sweetly to the jest, his eyes focusing on them like a target, a beloved one at that.
“You should have called out.. I was there, I could have helped you out. You didn’t need to get hurt, and all because of your faulty sense of independence” Jiyan kept going, urgency for them to understand his side coloring his voice. He helped them sit slowly, apologizing for making them move in a husky and quiet tone, apologizing for making them sit and be here and be in pain, swallowing the big tasteless pills.
Keeping their silence, (Y/n) looks down, guilt seeping through their veins and weary body which seemed to know no rest now.
Sore and worried and dizzy and ever forgetful in this half slumbering state they could only grasp at the thin strings of consciousness as Jiyan loomed over them like a hawk, restless in his pursuit to help, yet he remained in the dark as to how else to do so. What else could he do except think of healing magic he had no possession of. His teeth grinded together, golden eyes flickering over them and then up to their face, meeting their bleary gaze.
“I’m sorry…”
(Y/n) whispered, one hand over their chest as they took breaths in, slow and weak, but good - they were not the shallow breaths you took when he was racing back to the medics and other healers with them in his arms. This was better.
Jiyan’s heart stuttered at the low tone that broke under the pressure he had placed upon them, unwilling yet it was no less necessary if he wished to have them understand. Too many times he had sat down with them, told them to be careful, to follow protocol and all the talked about strategies, to value the teammates at their sides, yet it all seemed for naught. What did those conversations mean, they could not heal you now and make you whole again.
A shaky sigh drops from Jiyan, pulling all the weight from his shoulders and making him sag in his spot, head hanging low and heavy. What was he supposed to say? He had words too many to share.
“It’s… fine.. What’s done is done, and we can’t change what happened.. It’s alright..”
“You’re mad at me..”
Of course he is. Grief has never bitten him so hard as in the moment he saw them stagger in the field, it made his stomach churn and his sides tickle as if wind passed through the hollows between his ribs. And he grieved as if he lost them while patching you up, so much so it poisoned him and made him mad, angry.
“I.. I am not mad at you.. ” ‘I love you, why can’t you see?’ - a part of him wanted to say.
Blinking at him, tears bubbled up to their lash line, listening to him huff, unknowing of the inner turmoil he struggled through, the answer to close yet so far, holding you in suspense. Like a word about to be spoken.
“Why can’t you just listen to orders.. You throw yourself into danger as if you have lives to spare” Jiyan began, finding their eyes in a stern glare which mellowed out quickly. “You are not valued only as a soldier to be thrown across the board but as a human, someone’s companion.. (Y/n)..”
There’s a plea in his tone, and another in his eyes, and his fingers itch with the need to hold onto them, to let the venom of his grief seep into them too, to make them see, understand. It’s like a beast he’s hardly keeping at bay. When was the last time he felt so strongly about someone? Anyone? And to the point he’s shedding his general persona to give way to a man desperate to keep the few people he holds dear alive. Jiyan couldn’t name anyone.
“I understand that, but Jiyan.. how many nights have we spent talking about the day of peace? When there’s going to be no wars to fight? I know-” A cough interrupts them, but Jiyan does not jump at that opportunity to cut them off and scold them - he waits. “..I know it’s a childish dream, a hope, but peace is achievable. And if it means getting battered and bruised and hurt along the way, then so be it - the road to peace is not paved in a bed of flowers..” (Y/n) frowns, nearly pouting, and in some absentminded state, their hand flails in the air in search of his, a purchase he gladly grants without a thought.
Shaky fingers curl around his gloved ones, a tinge smaller, and more fragile than his own with the state now. They lack the grip they usually possess, yet they grasp and hold and he holds back, squeezing a bit tighter. God knows, he shares their view, their childish hope, but he can’t agree with it, not now. “(Y/n).. Peace will mean little if you’re dead to see it..” It’s a whisper, as fragile as the wings of a hatchling, and as soft as the summer breeze.
“That all will mean nothing to me either, it won’t be peace if you’re not with me to see it..” he added, his other hand grasping over their own, thumbing at their soft skin. He swallows thickly, hoping to wish away the tears that threaten to come up to his eyes. “I lo-... I love …you…”
Realization is slow to settle, but he sees it in their face, their eyes that fail to blink as they take him in, deciphering his words one by one, failing, at first, to understand their weight from the usual affections they shared before. Parting their lips, they fail to respond, their eyes flickering to the surroundings before they return to him, and it was as if all air had been knocked out of their lungs. The meaning is written all over him, communicated through all ways but verbal and it was enough. They were children together, growing up and exploring the world, plucking strange berries from nature and sharing them together, they grew up together.
Now they are grown, and (Y/n) focuses on the thought that has appeared in their mind countless times before - growing old together. It was just out of reach, and it was not guaranteed and their actions on the battlefield nearly made it certain that the future would not embrace them together. Trying to blink the tears away, they look at Jiyan, apologetic and ashamed, but where they wished to seek forgiveness was unneeded, as Jiyan had already forgiven it, no matter the hurt.
“I love you too-” The words were accompanied by a stray tear wetting their cheek.
Hushed breaths and shuffling of clothes flutter, and in a blur, Jiyan had pulled himself ever closer, sitting at their side and ever so carefully drawing them to his chest. His movements are slow and calculated even in the face of such strong emotion, too fearful to hurt them.
He lets them rest their face into the crook of his neck, eyes fluttering closed as they both simply hold onto one another, and it was in that moment he felt them squeeze him back, full of blooming life and energy. His fingertips itched for a stronger embrace but he controlled himself.
“I love you..” he repeated, even more quiet and directly beside their ear. “Please.. listen to me.. I only wish to keep you safe.. alive most of all.. Understand me..” They nod their head against him, their fingers clawing at his back with a little more strength, holding on as if he was a ghost ready to vanish. “You’re my candlelight leading me through the darkness.. I can’t do it without you..”
“Oh, Jiyan..” They crack their voice over his name, eyes seeing a mosaic of colors through tears ready to be shed. “I only wish to help you.. Under all this armor and uniform, I can see you struggling too.. How can I not become a little desperate when I see all my other attempts to help you have failed?” They sigh, their breath tickling the skin underneath this chin and he shudders to think of this mutual tug-of-war. They can’t win, neither can.
“You leave my struggles to me.. I do not withhold them for no reason, but I see that has done me, us, more harm than good..” He says but fails to make another sentence, knowing he’d rather not burden them with his own worries, and he’d much rather hear of their own.
“Just.. promise me this” he begins, pulling away and making them face to face. “You will not jump to take any more blows for me, in no amounts at all. I’m the one that should guard you, and not the other way around” He is firm in his case, and even if (Y/n) had the strength to argue, they wouldn’t. This was final.
Closing your eyes and giving a little bow of their head, they profess their agreement to his words without a word of their own. And sinking back into his embrace felt like sinking into a bed of feathers, soft, warm and welcoming. “Fine..”
“We’ll talk more about this once you’ve healed..” Jiyan muttered, his lips ghosting their brow and feeling them nod against him again. His hand rubs up and down their back, and his lips land on their cheek, lingering there in a gentle expression of his love that knew no bounds.
The flickering light and the sudden silence made his mind wander, and his body began to rock back and forth slowly, hoping to ease you into slumber. He wondered how it would feel to hold them again, when they were healed and not even a scar remained of their injury; how it would feel to kiss their brow and hold their cheek in his palm, to see those lights stare back at him from within their eyes, full of mirth and devoid of pain; he thinks how comforting it would feel to feel you flush against him each morning, holding your warm body close and tucking them under the covers when they shift in their sleep… So many images run through his mind, and he prays he gets to see them materialize in reality.
For now he was fine with holding them, serving their needs until war reeled its ugly head again, and he had to leave once more. For his people and (Y/n) he’d grow great miles to achieve peace, even if it meant losing his own peace.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
hello! could you do a Jiyan beginning to somewhat develop draconic traits out of the blue and their s/o helping him through it, like, tail & horns popping out, growing canines, enhanced senses and unconsciously exhibiting a few behaviors like being more protective and practicing courting rituals for his s/o despite them already being his wife + bonus if some other character or the city takes notice of this ^^
A/n: Hope you like this anon, this was a really cute idea, thank you for requesting! <3
Contents: Jiyan x Reader, gn reader, the reader is referred to as Jiyan's wife, Baizhi cameo lol, fluff, a tiny bit suggestive if you squint
“What’s this?” Your fingers grasp his cheek and turn his head to the side, taking a closer look to the light sheen his skin held now, taking a moment to realize those are scales. Jiyan’s golden eyes looked at you in surprise, his pupils shrinking before dilating when your warmth seeped into his skin. A small throaty ‘hm’ came from him as you inspected him.
“It’s.. nothing.. Just something I woke up with today, but nothing to stir concern” he replied, his hand laying on top of yours and bringing the palm to his lips to kiss before letting you go. It was true, he already had formed scales on his other cheek from before, three little petal-shaped things that were so smooth you could barely feel them apart from his own skin.
You didn’t press further, only nodding and going along with your morning routine with him.
-It was later when other things began to form that you asked again, ‘what is this?’ and Jiyan began to feel less and less secure in his answers
-It started off with those scales spreading to other parts of his body - his forearms, shins and lower back. They were faded and not as noticeable, and most of those he could hide underneath his uniform too
-Next came the sharper teeth. He usually had a sharper set of canines, but this noticeable change nearly cost him his tongue while eating. And when he was playfully nipping your neck when you were making dinner and he came to hug you from behind. They made you wince, and he immediately backed off, concerned
-Horns and tail were something Jiyan had expected at this rate, yet he was shocked nonetheless to be woken up by you shaking his shoulders, saying how something was squeezing your leg - that something being this newly formed tail of his. As he went to sit up he could see you looking at him with your jaw slack as you stared at the top of his head, the two pretty horns sitting elegantly even in face of your shock.
“Are you going to say this is nothing again?” “.......”
-It was worrying at first, since neither of you knew whether this was some bad omen or just a side effect of his resonance abilities. If these were some signs pointing to a potential overclocking, which was a thought that most scared you, then it’d be best to have them checked out by a professional
-It would be the first time Jiyan’s usual demeanor failed him, and he proved rather stubborn in accepting your offer of going to see Baizhi, or any other doctor for that matter - Mortefi? His mother? - anyone! Yet, what he opted to do was grumble and curl up in the bed, his long tail training after him like a big snake.
-Fed up with this new behavior from your lover, and worried all the way to your bones, you called Baizhi in, promising to pay her double if she just gave a house visit - Baizhi was understanding and never intended to refuse your request anyway, and your hastiness and pleas only urged her to stop by sooner.
-One thing is certain when she saw Jiya - she was taken aback and lost for words.
-You’tan, her loyal companion, would curiously look at Jiyan, its pearl-like eyes staring at him as its big fluffy body flew around him.
-Jiyan was rather grumpy during the entire check up, his pupils like that of a cat with slits for pupils, his hands forming a fist in his lap. This was nothing short of irritating for him - and confusing. Why was he acting like this? He never found Baizhi’s presence so unbearable before, but he tried to reason that by saying that this was his house, and naturally anyone would feel a little imposed on if someone entered their home, where they were their most vulnerable arguably
-Baizhi didn’t have too many answers for you, but could say that this was nothing fatal or dangerous, her companion also found nothing that could indicate anything deteriorating within Jiyan.
-Relieved, but filled with no more clarity than before, you walked Baizhi out the door after the check up before returning to Jiyan who still sat at the edge of the bed, his darkened eyes glaring at you as you entered
-The tip of his tail flicked back and forth in frustration, but you only huffed in return, scolding him for his stubbornness, asking whether there was something that happened on the battlefield he didn’t confide in you for - but as a response all you got was being pulled into his lap.
-He noses at your neck, inhaling your scent as his arms wrap around your midriff, just happy to feel you close to him again. He sighs in relief, his face not moving from the juncture of your neck, and his tail waves from side to side on top of the bed, showing satisfaction and mirth, while also making a mess of the bed sheets.
-You question him again, pulling back just enough to look down at him as you sit in his lap, but Jiyan spends little time in moving down to put his chin on your chest, looking up at you, and although it was a little awkward for his neck he didn’t complain or show any signs of discomfort. He only gave you a small smile before kissing under your chin
“Nothing.. I’m fine, did you not hear what Baizhi said?.. If you ask me, this will pass soon enough. Might enjoy it while it lasts, no?”
-The rest of the morning was spent curled up with him, your limbs intertwined and his tail around your body in one way or another, cuddling closer and closer and closer still until he could nuzzle his cheek against yours or kiss over your shoulders or neck again
-During the time you were cooking, he proved quite clingy too, but then he’d randomly disappear somewhere within the house only to return with the wedding ring.
“You forgot to put this on” “Hm, but I’m cooking, I don’t want to get it dirty” you respond, your brows furrowed as you kneaded some bread dough, your eyes catching a look of hurt on his face and disappointment. Jiyan sighed and nodded before setting the ring on the dining table. “You can put it on afterwards then” he replies and comes up behind you, putting his chin on your shoulder before his hands sneak underneath your to knead the dough for you. You gave a huff of a chuckle, as he effortlessly trapped you in his embrace here.
-Jiyan didn’t wish to leave the house, not wanting people to see this changed appearance. There were enough gossips about him already and he didn’t need more spreading about. But he wasn’t opposed to sitting in the backyard, soaking in the sun alongside you. The fence was high enough to protect from any wandering eyes.
-If you were to sit in the chair and doze off, you’d come back to Jiyan, assorting little tiny rocks of various colors long your thigh, balancing them on in little columns or in a simpler pattern, smiling at you innocently when you look at him.
-This… dragon version of your lover was slowly growing on you.. You had to wonder if he could control this appearance, or if it will return again after it disappears?
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Could I request Jiyan's s/o taking ng care of him while he's sick?
A/n: Sorry for waiting so long on this, I'm slowly making my way through the request now. I hope you enjoy this! <3
Contents: Jiyan x gn reader, Jiyan is called husband(hehe), sweet nicknames from Jiyan to reader, fluff, grammar mistakes probably
“My dear, I have told you time and time over-” A cough rippled through him, dry and scratching at his throat raw. Jiyan was rather adamant at getting his message across, however, and when the cough settled with you soothing up his back with your palm, he turned to you again “I don’t need pampering” he said, but his flushed face and sweaty forehead told another tale. One more true than he would tell it.
“You’ll sooner convince me the sky's neon yellow rather than that - although I’d hardly call it pampering, Jiyan” you told him briskly, fed up with this demeanor. Just this morning he had snuck out of bed to take care of himself, and were it not for his stumbling he might’ve gotten away with it. It was past breakfast now, and you had not only cooked for him the most rich broth you knew of, but you managed to break the feverish General into following your orders, although not without some remark from him. “Now sit back, I’m going to bring you something to cool you off with” this time your voice is softer, your eyes mellowing out as you reach out to tuck the stray hairs from his face, not missing the way he softly sighed. His golden eyes half lidded and heavy, tired to the bone, but all his bones knew was battle. You couldn’t fault him for trying to do it on his own nor for being so stubborn.
“Fine..” Jiyan replied with yet another heavy sigh that deflated his lungs, slumping his figure against the bedframe he rested against. His heavy lids fell over his eyes, and when he next opened them you were dabbing his sweaty forehead with a cool washcloth. He must have dozed off, he thinks to himself, blinking languidly as his eyes drink in you like honey, too thick to be drunk swiftly, yet not lacking for sweetness.
“What is it?” you ask him as he keeps on staring, something heavy about his eyes bringing your attention to him, for a moment granting him that sweet treat of your gaze on his own. He takes a deep breath in and then exhales, his words failing him.
He doesn’t want to touch you either, as the fever filled him from his head down to the tips of his fingers, and any touch would mean to him as if he had cut you. He wets his lips with a quick dart of his tongue before he shakes his head, all his movement slow as if he weighs twice more than he did. “Nothing..”
You scoff at him, not taking his words seriously. “It seems as if the fever has gotten to you more than I thought. Has it eaten away at your brain?” you shake your head as you dip the cloth in the cold water besides you before sliding it across his cheek and down to his neck. At that he gave a hiss, the cold cloth a stark contrast to his burning skin. It sent his muscles stiffening and begging for the offending feeling to be removed, but Jiyan knew it was for the better as he grit his teeth through it.
Sighing after you removed the cloth from his neck and collarbone, you moved to cup his hands and bring them around the cloth, hoping the coolness of it will get to him and ease his fever. You’ve given him medicine plenty, food as well, drinks he would grow sick of even more if you insisted he drink anything, so you moved to these small things to help him.
“You’re doing too much, my love..” he rasps, looking at you as you help hold his hands around the cloth.
“I am not doing too much. I am taking care of my husband..” you told him, tone easy and undertones of affection hugging close, apparent to Jiyan’s ears. It made him chuckle, shaking his chest that felt as if it would cave in on him if he dared laugh more, but he laughed regardless in face of your attempts to not seem too dotting. Yet you failed enormously, showing your worry in the most quiet ways of being loud. Hovering over him, never being too far. It was amusing at least.
“Right.. is that what you’d call what you’ve been doing in the last hour or so? You’re acting as if I’ve escaped famine and I’m dying in your arms.. My love, I will be alright. I just need a long rest, that is all..” he tries to reason with you, to ease your worries if nothing else. He removes one hand from your hold and puts it over yours. It’s warm, radiating heat like a hearth nearby, your own hand seems nearly cold in comparison.
“Then how about you stop moving so much, just.. lay back, and go sleep. I’ll go fix you something for dinner”
“Beloved, I’ve eaten too much already, just half an hour ago you had me eat another plate of that broth, and it is not even 12 o’clock... But I’ll rest, alright?”
You sigh at him, a touch irritated but you appreciate his attempts to help you too in your worried stupor to help him. “Fine. But if I see you or hear you shuffling about, you’ll come to regret it. You’ll hate me more than this fever of yours” This time it is you cracking small smiles, although you turn your head and tilt your nose into the air, acting ignorant of the smile.
Jiyan smiles back, nodding his head. “I hear you loud and clear..” he responds, voice mellow even more.
“In the meantime.. I will go out and run an errand or two. Maybe stop by the market, bring you something sweeter than a broth to eat before you complain that you are tired of it”
Jiyan knows there is no stopping you now. If you decided to go pluck lemon grass from the top of the highest mountain, he knew he’d be helpless to stop you. “That sounds fine with me. But don’t stay too long in the sun, unless you want to lay in this sickbed next to me”
“I’ll be alright. The sun can’t get to me so easily. Now, you rest” reluctantly you peel your hands away from his grasp, leaving the washcloth between his fingers and you leave the bucket of cool water close by too, should he feel the need for it. You lean closer, and before he could reject it, although he lacked strength for it, you kissed his temple and stood upright. His eyes followed your movement, both grateful for the kiss and on the verge of scolding you.
“Sleep well, Jiyan. I’ll be back soon”
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
✧ ˚ ·After the war..
A/n: meow
Contents: angst, fem reader, character death, inspired by the poem included here from the 1939, have fun reading
Words: 552
Your hands shake around the yellowed and hardened paper, previously dry spots being marked by the wetness of your tears now. Not even hearing your own cries, your mind can only focus on the swimming letters that bubble up to your lash line and over your eyes, taunting you like giants and beasts your beloved used to tell you about.
Faded lights fall in broken leaflets through the window as the sun outside kisses the surroundings mountains, the glass itself broken at the edge.
‘When the war is over,’.. you read again, fighting the urge to choke as you manage to catch each letter from the corners of your tears so you can put them back together, drinking in the familiar handwriting like it is the finest liquor. If you could, you would drink away whatever remained of your life with the contents of this letter, if only you could, but you can’t, and you make yourself read the following words..
‘we’ll get married and the earth will grow flowers like you’, the next line reads, the ink heavy in a few spots and you can imagine Jiyan sitting at some dirty, broken camp, writing the letter with an old quill that spills ink rather than write with it. He is surrounded by huddled men that trust him, that keep following him even if it means following him to the ends of the planet to eradicate this enemy that threatens them all. The smell is heavy from the campfire, and the coals are a roaring red and orange, sending blazes of flames licking up at the midnight sky. He can vividly see the pots of flowers sprouting just outside your window. And suddenly the mere thought of you, your smiling face, feels like a bed of thorns and nettles that he needs to lay in. And the quill in his hand presses harder, making the lines thicker, and he curses his own hand.
‘and your womb will carry the most beautiful girls in the universe.’
White hot agony fills you, and for a moment you can swear it is all anger within you trying to claw its way out, yet nothing comes out of you but sobs that wreck your entire body and have you clawing at the sofa in front of you. The cover is a dark teal, you feel cursed for simply touching the color now. Why, why, why, why, why him, why now? Has he been reckless? Has he forgotten the promise?
The edges of the paper are dotted with dark red splotches, and a few dry petals had fallen from the letter when you opened it. This had been found in the pocket on his chest, right over his heart where he thought he would be able to keep you closest to him. None of it mattered now; you clamp a hand over your mouth, your throat hurting raw from how long you spent on the floor like a wilting flower in a storm, your roots not strong enough to help you endure it as they once were.
You curse the world, you curse the tacet discords, you curse the ranger that brought you this letter, and you curse Jiyan for departing, you curse him for not taking you with him.
The world will never feel alive again.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
How about Jiyan with a fellow doctor but the doctor is kind of like Mortefi in terms of "tired of everyone's shit" but they put up with Jiyan because they used to be coworkers.
A/n: Overdue request time but I hope you enjoy this regardless anon <3
Contents: Jiyan x GN reader, headcanons, reader used to be on the front lines with Jiyan, not proof read
-Jiyan has worked with all sorts of people in his life, and at times he was rather forced to work with people that were not fit to be in the workplace, but he was never harsh on them even if he had to take up their work too.
-That, however, was not the case with you, of course
-You were beyond capable in your work, jumping from one end to the other never seemed as effortless when you were the one doing the task - all with this signature scowl or a furrow of your brows on your face.
-Jiyan admired you for your talent and skill, it seemed to come so naturally to you that it made even the famous General push himself harder with newfound strength in his chest
-He knew you weren't too fond of being “pestered”, so he never approached you much beyond work while you were on the front lines. It was when you were back around town when he approached you for off topic conversations or to exchange medical knowledge and aid techniques. You both found common ground in the latter topics, and you weren't too reciprocating at first when it came to other topics.
-But all good things require time and patience, and Jiyan was a patient man by nature.
-You slowly warmed up to him and began to share more of your life and interests, and Jiyan shared his side as well. Both of you got to know each other through countless walks beside the river banks or the beaches of the lake around Jinzhou.
-Jiyan provided that much needed slow pace you seemed to lack. To you, everything needed to be done in some orderly fashion and in a confined space of time. Your solo walks were rather quick, but ever since Jiyan began joining you on them, you found the sense of time slipping by and half an hour turned into an hour, then two, three-
-Dinners began to be another thing to look forward to. Sometimes he'd invite only you, sometimes he'd invite another captain or soldier; once you met his mother when he invited her over for dinner at this fancy restaurant that opened while both of you were on the front lines
-Jiyan can easily overlook the jabs and witty remarks you tend to drop, knowing you truly don't harbor any malice when you say them - it's more of spur of the moment when the situation is rather tense or if someone is acting particularly oblivious/stupid.
-Sometimes, if it's just you and him, he tends to flip the jabs back at you to initiate some more lighthearted banter. The first time he did it you were caught by surprise but your tongue certainly didn't lack in words. Jiyan chuckled at how you nearly stumbled over your own mouth as you returned another comment, looking rather flustered.
-He does enjoy having you around and does tend to put you in teams that are close to his own, unless another team requires your skill more in battle.
-Somewhere along those lines, the feeling between colleagues and friends blurred and seeped into something much warmer and stronger. And it appears you felt it too. By that point Jiyan had become adept at reading you, and he didn't miss the way your shoulders were tensed when he lingered too close, or when you refused to meet his gaze here and there, when even you lacked words to respond with, when you were fidgeting with your gourd or fingers- it all piled up, boiling just underneath the surface.
-His feelings did not extinquish when you left the Midnight Rangers to serve your duty in the city. Your research and heart strayed from his path and he was fine with that - even if he felt like you took half of him with you
-He didn't wish to risk anything between the two of you, so the feeling was boiling for a long time. Jiyan didn't wish to confess in case he wasn't right and you didn't return the feelings, but also because he didn't wish to risk leaving you alone should he die in battle right after confessing and asking for your hand.
-You didn't confess for similar reasons, but also because he was a General - you didn't wish to burden him in any form or shape. And what if you were reading it wrong? What if he was simply being affectionate as a friend?
-It took time, but the feelings reached a boiling point after an incident left you so lost and frustrated.
-You and Jiyan were alone in your office and it all came pouring out in a torrent of emotions from your mouth. And by the time you realized what you said, Jiyan was quiet and looking at you all speechless
-Jiyan couldn't breathe, but he felt his heart squeezing into his throat.
-He is soon to stumble over his words to reassure you it's fine- you were already making up excuses, apologizing, stumbling further - it's fine! Hear him out, he has a lot to say. And it's going to be alright, because you're besides one another, and you are stronger that way.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Jiyaaaan request coming your way~
While training his soldiers, one of them accidentally calls him 'Dad'. This leads to the reader teasing them but Jiyan teases back by calling them 'Mom' (or the gender neutral for it?)
(Was reading tv tropes and Jiyan had the 'A Father to his Men' tropes in his character tab lol)
A/n: Anon this request was so sweet, thank you sm for sending it in! Jiyan the father of an army fr.. I do hope I executed it well. Enjoy!
Content: Jiyan x F!Reader, fluff and playful stuff, nothing more
The morning sun had long since shifted its axis towards the center of the sky, blazing down through cotton clouds that sailed the azure skies. Below them, in the open fields, west of the main base cacophony sounded, consisting of commands, groans and other sounds of effort as the Midnight Ranger performed their training. And today Jiyan had come to overlook the session himself, although it wouldn’t be the first time. He was often so preoccupied with tasks at the front lines that he didn’t have the time to be leading drills too frequently, but when he did get the chance to do so he would take it. While it wasn’t a full reprieve from the battle, it was still a stark contrast to the grotesque and twisted fates he’d see daily on the battlefield.
Jiyan was noticeably more disheveled by the end, hair messy and hanging in strands and clinging to his sweaty forehead, hands on his hips as his voice rose to meet all ears present. You have just been passing by, helping carry supplies that just came in, and loading old and empty boxes back to be refilled in the city. For once there was no rush that would make your legs ache or your lungs hurt, allowing you all the precious time to bask in the views, the soft chatter and, of course, your dear lover.
The sun caught his figure and formed a golden aura around him, his skin glistening, and you couldn’t help but take a seat at one of many big boxes at the side of the training grounds after you had finished your task. In passing you caught a few looks, and a few smiles of the soldiers you knew from before. They looked much more lively, despite the rigorous training they just went through. It made your heart warm seeing them in better spirits, wishing nothing more than to see them prevail and be happy. And just as you had recognized a bunch of familiar faces did Jiyan conclude his small speech, about to dismiss everyone with advice of rest hanging on every word. He had spotted you from the start, when you were going by with supplies in arms and soon he’d have a chance to speak to you too, he thought.
“General Jiyan! General Jiyan, a word or two- if I may?”
It was a voice of one of the new recruits, Jiyan noted as he gazed at the face of the youth, a boy of twenty or so years by the looks of it, and eyes full of curiosity and admiration. He had come up to Jiyan just as he had turned towards you, prompting him to stay rooted in his spot a little longer. A few more young rangers came up behind the recruit, sharing the same curiosity but also being aware of whatever the recruit had on his mind.
“Yes? Is there something you need?” Jiyan questioned, looking at the young man. From his peripheral vision he spotted you moving down from the boxes and joining his side, staying quiet after a short word of greeting towards his Rangers, but your presence felt like a cool breeze under this sun, and he appreciated it all the more.
“I just wanted to say how great today’s training session was, we learned so much more than we did with our drill sergeant” he praised, smiling up at Jiyan all the while, “And I just wanted to ask whether or not you’ll be leading our training session tomorrow as well? Or any other day that is, we would really benefit from your teaching. I mean, you've seen it all for yourself at the front lines!"
The other few with him nodded along, prompting a small smile of pride to form on your face from seeing their fascination with Jiyan. To them he was everything they aspired to be - strong, enduring, tough but not lacking kindness or knowledge. There were times where they were scared to approach him, not knowing how he’d react to their questions, but from observing his interactions with others they warmed up to the idea and plucked all their courage.
A polite smile curled up on Jiyan’s face as he regarded the youth with gentle golden eyes. His presence as the drill sergeant today wasn’t due to his availability, but a simple coincidence and necessity to fill the shoes of their drill sergeant that had been injured due to Tacet Discords, and Jiyan just happened to be able to be there. “Ah, you have my thanks, rangers. If a replacement for your drill sergeant does not arrive tomorrow and I am not required to be at the front lines, then I will be leading your training tomorrow as well” he told them, which pleased them greatly to hear. “Although I’m sure Sargent Jin’xi has much more to teach you, something much more important for your sound development in this profession. You cannot take his method lightly. He has seen everything I have, as well. His knowledge is as valuable to your growth, and even more so than mine. You need the good foundation he can give you” He was aware of how confusing or hard it could be to listen to Jin’xi, as the sergeant had quite the eye for details and slow progress in lessons due to his meticulous nature - but that also made him all the better for his station. He was observant and could pluck out bad behavior and mistakes like weeds, and that is better to be done here, than in the middle of battle.
“We know, general, but sergeant Jin’xi is just so hard on us.. sometimes it really seems like he has no limit” one of the women standing behind voiced, earning a look from Jiyan that spoke of his understanding but also his disagreement with the subtle message they were trying to send - please, replace sergeant Jin’xi, or, save us.
“Yeah! One time I accidentally mixed up the weapons in the storage room and he had me do everything on my own again, saying how such mistakes can’t happen on the front lines, how it all means life or death” the first young man said, brushing his fingers through his hair and sighing. “I understand it, but we just got here..” he added and looked at his comrades.
What was supposed to be a short chit-chat turned swiftly into a gossip galore about Jin’xi. Had Jiyan been any different from the man he was currently, he would’ve scolded them, taken offense at how they spoke about his colleague, but he was in their shoes once, always on edge around the higher ups, and he wished not to bring that same unease to them. He didn’t fail to remind them to not speak like this in front of everyone, and to respect sergeant Jin’xi when he does eventually return, and they gave him their word.
The first young man that approached looked at Jiyan after their discussion, both hands on his hips and looking more relaxed. “We won’t forget that, I promise on my last name! Still, we appreciate your kindness, and one more thing dad- I MEAN- GENERAL!” His entire face crumbled into a look of terror, and all eyes of the group shot to him, looks of surprise and amusement appearing before several of them erupted into laughter after taking a wary glance at Jiyan - who was not offended.
“General Jiyan! Oh god- I apologize, general, I don’t know where that came from-” he stammered, shaking his head and his hands, face flushed from sheer embarrassment. More choked words tumbled out of his mouth, desperate to excuse himself and forget about this.
Jiyan can’t help but chuckle, the corners of his lips twitching in a failed attempt to hold back his smile. “At ease, recruit. You have not done any crime” he nods at the other, his eyes softening and not showing any sign that he’s about to dish out some punishment - that’d be ridiculous.
You can’t help but crack a laugh too, covering your lips with your hand as to stifle the sound, but your mirth was evident in your eyes. “Have I missed a chapter? I didn’t know you had kids, general Jiyan” you teased, earning a few shocked but heavily amused looks from the group. Giggles erupted once more, all stifled as they waited for Jiyan to respond to the quip.
Jiyan turns his head to look at you, his eyes boring into yours and questioning your intentions - you can read the thoughts going through your head and your smile only widens in a silent call to a challenge of wits. He didn’t expect you to say something like that, but he could only huff, hiding his amusement under an abrupt guise of confusion.
“Kids?.. Why, I had hoped you’d recognize your own kids, Miss (L/N)” he shot back instantly, making your jaw drop at his rebuttal, a gasp flying past your mouth. “General” you said, accusations plenty heard in your tone as the atmosphere melted into one of jest and play.
Many eyes flickered between you and him, taking in the easy way you conversed with one another.
“Yes? What’s the surprise for? The recruits look up to you too, if you fail to notice. You can confirm with them right now” he is shifting the spotlight to you, and the recruits are quick to jump in too. “It is right, miss. Personally I haven’t been around you for long, no longer than I interacted with the General, but you two are alike, you treat us new ones with a firm but kind hand” a young woman said, smiling at you, and you feel your heart climb into your throat.
“Can we really be surprised, they’re always together too-” "Aren't they married?" Whispering is heard amidst the group, and Jiyan looks amidst the faces to catch the one that said that but fails to do so, or refuses to weed out the individuals, and his eyes go back to you to catch your response. It’d be a lie to say your relationship with him was a secret, everyone knew there was something deeper between the two of you, something you didn’t show in public due to the war and status, but it was undeniably there. Still, hearing it loud and clear like this was like a splash of cold water. Despite their chatter, the group remained respectful, sweet in their musings.
“Ah, quiet, I do not want to hear it. This is about you, General”
“Ah, don’t run from it now. You’re the one that started this” he commented, rolling his eyes as he folded his arms over his chest. “Anyway, you’re all dismissed. I have a word with.. mother over here. Off you all go. I will see you all in the morning for another training drill. Get some rest” he speaks to the group, gazing upon their faces, only to see how they looked at him with some sort of childhood wonder, and that’s when he realized he must be flushed too. A sheepish smile bloomed on his face.
“Alright! Awesome-” “Yes, sir!"
“Have a good day, General! And you too, Miss!”
He watched them leave, bidding them all farewell, and when he turned to face you again he saw you pinching the bridge of your nose, hiding away the biggest smile of the day, the apples of your cheeks redder than before. The Midnight Rangers were undeniably close in connection, having spent so many nights and days huddled together for warmth or laughs or protection, and this small exchange only warmed Jiyan’s heart, to witness how positively they felt around him - and you.
“Didn’t think we’d become parents so soon. Have we gotten that old already?” Jiyan commented, tone softer in a way he only addressed you when you were alone, and there was no one near the training grounds to hear you.
“Oh, shut up, Jiyan-” you playfully snapped, biting your lip as you looked up at him, stifling a giggle. “You are unbelievable!”
“Hm? Did you expect me to stay quiet today or ignore your quips?” he smiled bigger and you have to admire the little dimples in his cheeks as the smile reaches his eyes, making them squint at you softly.
“I don’t know what I expected, but your response was certainly the last thing I expected” you replied and shook your head, as if that would shake off the redness tinting your skin, imitating him now by crossing your arms. The two of you were looking at each other, wordlessly admiring your red faces while throwing these little quips at one another.
“Ah.. you’ll get used to it, dearest wife”
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.