John Gaius - Tumblr Posts

indulging myself yet again with drawing a scene from nona the ninth (also color study)

here's the moment in the book under the cut

nona the ninth chapter John 5:4

Sudden brain blast over morning coffee:

John Gaius, necrolord whatever, cringiest man alive, refuses to let the earth die. And not just in the literal sense of locking the earth’s soul in a barbie on ice, in subtler ways too.

The most obvious is the memes, John constantly references memes that are dated even to us, but are in universe from a culture that died ten thousand years ago!

Slightly more subtle is the years. Why does everyone in the Houses measure in earth years? It’s been ten THOUSAND years since anyone lived on the earth! But John keeps them as a unit of measurement.

Even more subtle is the language. In sci-fi and fantasy we’re all used to the idea of the translation for the reader, people don’t speak english in lord of the rings, or dune, but the dialogue is in english for us, the readers. Not in The Locked Tomb. In this series, they ARE speaking english. Modern, bog standard english, to the point where two people born thousands of years apart speak similar enough dialects that one can pose as the other (dulcie/cytheria).

Now, this could possibly fall under that standard sci-fi trope, EXCEPT!!!! In Nona The Ninth, we see the non-house humans! And they speak dozens of languages, like you’d expect after TEN THOUSAND YEARS of linguistic drift!

John is trying SO HARD to keep the earth alive that he’s forced a language to stagnate for, say it with me now, Ten Thousand Years, to the point where even completely new things with no equivalent in our world don’t even have new words, just repurposed old ones (flimsy, sonic).

John Gaius, the first necromancer, could resurrect the planet itself, and millions of people, but he couldn’t resurrect the culture. So, John, cryogenics researcher, tried to put the culture on ice, to keep it as close to the one he remembers as possible. And he still failed.

just had a thought about lyctor! pal and. him and this ianthe would have one shared objective — undo lyctorhood, make their cavs tangible again.

but these two teaming up is the end of empire. they are both unhinged, just in completely different directions. palamedes would take a single look at jon's bullshit and eviscerate it with stone cold logic. multiply this with his grief for cam and there you have an atomic bomb of a lyctor powered with sheer love for his cavalier and vicious spite.

jon would be found dead in a puddle of booze by the end of the week.

i have a feeling that if corona had ever got info what lyctorhood actually requires from her and ianthe, she would have pulled a crystabel oct and killed herself to make ianthe a lyctor. without any outside reason unlike poor gideon, full rapier-in-the-chest. considering ianthe active want to keep corona safe i do not see this ending well.

but damn seeing our toxic girlboss mastermind ianthe undone by sacrifice she can't reverse, sacrifice done by corona willingly, sacrifice that gave her immortality but took away her twin. that would be tasty.

i have a question about jon's naming convention of people. like. whole numerical thing is another thing i have thoughts about but. how many languages he knew?

bcs pyrrha surname "dve" feels like it came straight outta slavic mouth. two - russian "dva" - dve.

nigella surname is shodash, hindi word for 16. not even six. sixteen.

why do these two stick out? other cavs surnames have latin roots as far as i know. is it miss tamsyn ideas overruling the question 'how the would he know these words if every dictionary is burnt with apocalypse?' is it intentional?

I love that everybody betrayed John. He absolutely deserved it, and in addition to being tragic, it’s very, very funny. He resurrected his friends and wiped their memories and turned them into disciples, Lyctors who would never leave him, who would live forever and be forever his. And then we, as readers gradually find out how badly his control has frayed, how thin he has worn the love and loyalty of his friends. Judith Deuteros blurts out that there’s a traitor aboard the Mithraeum, and we spend a good third of Harrow the Ninth wondering who it could be, but then surprise, it’s everybody. Everybody betrayed the Emperor. Cytherea betrayed him to Blood of Eden long before her rampage at Canaan House. Augustine betrayed him, and Mercymorn betrayed him, and Augustine and Mercymorn worked together to betray him and sell him out to his worst enemy. Gideon Prime fell in love with the same worst enemy, but didn’t exactly commit treason, however Gideon Prime’s secretly conscious cavalier Pyrrha did. And then in Nona the Ninth, we find out that Cassiopeia already betrayed him millenia ago, in a methodical, well-thought-out and quintessentially Sixth way that took her entire House with her. Et tu, Kiriona?

In Defense of Loveday Heptane

My special interest in the lyctoral cavaliers knows no bounds. I have developed a particular interest in Loveday Heptane: a creature so reviled that God himself had to coerce Mercy and Augustine into eulogizing her a full myriad after her death... and he doesn't have anything kind to say himself. When even the guy who nuked a planet thinks you're a piece of work, you must be something REALLY special.

This begs the question: Did Loveday Heptane, like... eat a baby or something?! Is she evil incarnate? What the heck did she do?!

Reader, I have some thoughts.

Loveday never speaks anywhere in the text. All the details about her are second-hand (some might even say third-hand: her own necromancer only mentions her ONCE, and she doesn't give us much). Figuring her out requires a deep dive into contextual evidence, human psychology, and marvelous leaps of misplaced intuition.

Lucky for other cavalier-obsessed folks, I am deranged and up for the challenge! Join me beyond the cut for a very long post about grief, caregiving, and why literally every bad thing in this series is Cristabel's fault! Onward! (Heads Up: this is a LONG post, even for me!)

First Gen vs Second Gen Disciples

I think it's common for people to perceive ancient history as a monolith. When many people think about "Ancient Greece" for example, they're lumping together 1,000 years of history. Likewise, the pre-lyctorhood period spanned a minimum of 200 years from beginning to end.

For context, that's a little less than all of colonial American history. It constitutes multiple human lifetimes. A LOT of cultural shifts took place in that period. The difference between a "first gen" Canaan house disciple (for our purposes, any disciple present on Earth pre-resurrection, which may or may not include Ulysses and Titania) and a "second gen disciple (for our purposes, born in the Houses) is massive. First gen disciples were resurrected. They were whole, adult humans, without complete memories. They contributed to the culture and religious practices in the houses. We can assume they created the first necromantic theorems. Not only that, but they were always together. As far as they are aware, they did not exist in any other context - no parents, no families, no other support structure. They had each other, period. Second gen disciples were born. They had parents and families prior to their time at Canaan house - they came from a context beyond John and Canaan house. They grew up under the cultural and religious norms established by the first gen disciples. So much of what the first genners established from scratch was axiom to the second genners - the way things had always been for them. They all arrived at Canaan house as outsiders, chosen for skills or aptitude as the field of necromancy progressed. Most importantly: first gen disciples met John as a man and centered him as God. Second gen disciples met him as God and had to reconcile that he really was just a man. I do believe he was CLOSER to a man, pre-lyctorhood. He could still travel to the houses then. He was still and accessible, flesh and blood human. Even so, I find it hard to believe that a second gen disciple could stand before God without feeling a little starstruck. The power imbalance SEEMED greater, even if it wasn't.

All that said, I think it's essential to acknowledge that Mercy, Cristabel, Augustine and Alfred were all first gen disciples. In contrast, Loveday and Cytherea were both second gen - the LAST second gen lyctors to arrive at Canaan house, at that. There could have been a hundred years between Cyrus and Valancy's arrival and Cytherea and Loveday's. The first gen disciples had been palling around, creating a society, for nearly 200 years before those two were even born.

That gap mattered. Even posthumously, Augustine called Cytherea "Little Cyth." She was always and forever the little sister, even after she outlived three lyctors (plus Anastasia). Think about Mercy calling Harrow and Ianthe infants. Yes, the scale is a little different, but Cytherea and Loveday would have arrived with SO MUCH LESS life experience than the oldest old people.

Keep this all in mind as we move forward.

Cytherea and the Miracle at Rhodes

I believe that Cytherea's specialist Seventh house knowledge was essential to the completion of the eightfold word "megatheorem" and unlocking lyctorhood... and all roads to this discovery lead to, well... Rhodes.

What was The Miracle at Rhodes? I do not believe it was Cytherea herself, but her work. John says he wanted to remain a disinterested party: he didn't want to see the woman. In fact, he had to have it confirmed that the woman was even a necromancer.

What are the necromantic specialties on the Seventh? There's puppeting - but that would NOT be interesting to John. That was literally the first necromantic miracle pre-resurrection.

The other Seventh house specialty is the creation of the beguiling corpse and other funerary and preservation magic.

I consider Cytherea to be a pseudo-reliable narrator. I believe her when she claims she never lied. In GtN, she tells Gideon that her greatest fear - the fear that propelled her to go to Canaan house at all - was the fear of dying, being locked away, and being forgotten. It tracks that her personal necromantic work might have centered on creating beautiful, incorruptible corpses - cadavers lovely and perfect enough to be kept on display in glass coffins, where the dead would not be forgotten.

Perhaps by... fixing a soul fragment in place so it couldn't deteriorate, allowing the essence of the deceased to remain? Something with MAJOR applications for a certain megatheorem? Something like "Step four: fix [the soul] in place so it can't deteriorate" - the portion of the eightfold discovered in Cytherea and Loveday's lyctoral lab?

(I also want to take a moment to acknowledge that the two types of necromancy that John does not condone, beguiling corpsehood and siphoning, were keys to lyctorhood. Hmmm hmmm hmmmmm)

Either John or someone with him (Cassy? Anastasia?) could have recognized how Cytherea's expertise would be essential to the work at Canaan house. Either John decided to invite Cytherea, or he was coerced into extending the invitation so the disciples could gain access to the mind behind the miracle.

As I've asked before...is an invitation from God ever really an invitation? What would it have meant to say no to the emperor? Cyth seems to have thought that going was fully her decision, but I wonder about the extent to which she really felt she had a choice.

Ultimately, it was "the right" choice. The theorem wasn't complete until Cyth and Loveday arrived.

Canaan House and Grief as a Context

Not only did Cytherea and Loveday arrive as second-generation disciples, forced to leave family, culture, and lives behind, but they were also the first pair we know of who were grieving before they arrived. They were the only duo for whom arrival at Canaan House always meant goodbye.

Cytherea came to Canaan house to die. She was not doing well when she arrived - both John and Augustine describe being surprised by just how close to death she was when they met. Choosing to study under the emperor was a choice to die as brilliant AND beautiful, as someone too important to lock away in a grave for all eternity. I doubt Cytherea realized the others were working on immortality before she arrived.

She was sick. She expected to get sicker. None of the other disciples could "do anything for her" at the time (per Augustine in HtN).

I am reminded of the summons from the emperor at the beginning of GtN: "no retainers, no attendants, no domestics." Assuming there was no formal cavaliership in the early empire, Cyth would have been tasked with bringing along a single companion. For Cyth, this wasn't a case of "which of my closest friends do I pick to go and meet God?" or "Which nurse at Rhodes do I like the best?" This was a question of "who is going to be at my bedside holding my hand when I die?"

I do not think she made that choice lightly.

We don't know who Loveday was to her. A lover? A lady's maid? A nurse? A best friend? Perhaps some proto-cavalier with many duties of care? What's important to me is that she was someone who Cytherea was willing to ask to be with her at the end. What's even more important to me is that Loveday said yes, even though it meant giving up a LOT.

Being a caretaker is hard. Watching someone you love die is agonizing. I have done both, and I rate it a big 0/10 stars. The only person who has it harder is the person who is dying. It's kind of an unwritten rule of active grief that you do NOT ask the person who is dying to comfort YOU about THEIR death.

Now, remember all that seemingly irrelevant detail about first gen vs second gen disciples? About how strange and isolating it would be for second gen disciples? About everything they'd have to leave behind?

Here we have Loveday, the final second gen proto-cavalier. She's not the special one - that's Cyth. Everyone gathered to meet Cytherea: the woman, the miracle worker. Loveday was there for Cyth, period. Nobody is there for Loveday.

in GtN, Cytherea offers Gideon the most authentic smile when she calls herself "the fakest-ass cavalier who ever faked." It felt very much like she'd seen this behavior before. Did Loveday feel like an impostor? Was she being handed a rapier and being asked to compete with cavaliers with a century or more of sword fighting experience? Even if she could fight, she certainly felt like an outsider among God's best and brightest.

Furthermore, is she supposed to go to these intimidating members of god's inner circle for comfort as she navigates the imminent death of the person she loves most in the world? The one person who wasn't part of a 200-year old clique was the one person she couldn't go to for comfort. That's LONELY. At least on the Seventh there would have been a little respite - family members, friends, someone to talk to. And Loveday would have KNOWN Cytherea - known how well she could perform wellness, known that she was "good at seeming," known that she was going to push herself and make it seem effortless until the end.

What do you think happened when Cytherea returned to their quarters at the end of a long day of being smart and charming and polished in public? Who would have been there to help her when there were no longer eyes on her, and she could finally admit she was exhausted and in agony? Loveday was, presumably, her "safe person" - the one who saw the worst of her and her illness. Did Loveday ever get her at her best?

I assume Loveday didn't want her to go at all, but couldn't begrudge her the ending she wanted. I wonder if, from Loveday's perspective, "[she] had the choice to stop." In John's words, "Loveday brought [Cytherea] in, looking as though she wanted every one of us beaten to death." Anger is a stage of grief, and Loveday was dealing with more than grief over Cytherea's imminent death. She was losing everything she knew. As Cytherea's caretaker, she was about to lose a major part of her identity, too.

And what's the stage of grief after anger? Bargaining - the part of grief in which you "yell at God." I imagine that might have gone a little differently when God was literally standing there, picking biscuit detritus out of his teeth.

Imagine looking god himself in the eye, asking for help, for a cure for the brilliant, hilarious, kind, beautiful person you love - a person he claims to value as a friend and collaborator - and getting a pat on the head. I'm pretty sure that would test anyone's faith.

...not even to mention the fact that a tangible form of immortality was on the line, and they were close.

Mercy, Augustine, and John: Reliable Narrators?

"I will say this," said Mercy presently, acting as though Augustine had never said a word. "I NEVER mourned for Loveday Heptane. She did one good thing with her life, and she knew it."

Those be fighting words, Mercymorn! Augustine does not disagree with her or try to come to Loveday's defense - not even to be contrary and get on her nerves. Nor does John.

I would like to argue that John, Mercy, and Augustine are not the most reliable narrators, however. Just a few pages before the eulogies, John is misremembering the circumstances surrounding Cytherea's arrival. We've also seen them claim, carte blanche, that everyone hated Alecto and wanted her gone. We know that's bullshit from Pyrrha in Nona. We also come to learn that Anastasia likely felt differently, too.

This suggests to me that Loveday probably didn't eat a baby. We only know for certain that Mercy, John, and Augustine weren't fans, with Mercy being the most outspoken about her feelings.

Now, we got to spend an entire novel with Mercymorn and learn about what made her tick. I tend to believe that "I didn't like this person" is synonymous with "this person did something to Cristabel."

It All Comes Back to Cristabel Oct

Okay, so you're Loveday Heptane. The person you love most is dying painfully, and you are actively grieving. You're also hanging out in a big ol' castle with God. As Cyth's illness progresses and the megatheorem fails to materialize, your grief continues to multiply. You reach the bargaining stage. You are on your knees, begging God to do something, do more, do better. God does not do anything, let alone more or better. God apologizes and asks if anybody wants to play Scrabble on Game Night.

Could you blame Loveday for getting angry at God? For questioning everything she believed? For questioning everything going on at Canaan house, and casting doubt? Maybe she even tried to strangle John! Who knows!

Do you know who would see that desperate, hungry, angry faithlessness and strike? I'll give you one guess.

That's right! Cristabel "suicidal golden retriever with self-inflicted brain damage" Oct!

She's here, telling you why you're wrong, and why your suffering is actually nothing in the scheme of the work! She's here, telling you that God is good, actually! That you just can't see the bigger picture! Here, I'll shove a tract under your bedroom door! I'll let you know I'm praying for you whenever I pass you in the halls! Do you want to pray about it? Do you want to fast about it? Do you wanna do a bunch of inane, ritualistic shit about it and then come around to loving God again?!?! Huh? Huh? Do ya? Do ya?

COULD YOU BLAME LOVEDAY IF SHE DID, IN FACT, PUNCH HER IN THE FACE?

Now, I'm not saying she did that, but I think she would have been well within her rights to tell the nun to politely fuck off.

Anyway, if you have beef with Cristabel, you have beef with both Mercy and Alfred. If you have beef with Alfred, you have beef with Augustine. If you have beef with all of God's favorite toys, and you're being an angry heretic in his halls, you probably also have some beef with God, whether or not you tried to strangle him.

Candor and Alien Grief

Remember, THE FIRST GEN DISCIPLES HAVE NO MEMORY OF EXPERIENCING GRIEF! They have been living safely with God, with no fear of death, for hundreds of years! Before lyctorhood, loss was an alien concept for them. Every single person they loved (their "brothers and sisters") was immortal and living in a castle on their very own private planet! It was like the Garden of Eden!

Loveday and Cytherea are outsiders - the only two who honestly know what's coming.

To tell the truth, I don't think Loveday had to have kicked Cristabel's ass to get on Mercymorn's shitlist. I think this angry, doubtful, grieving, exhausted caretaker only had to observe Cristabel and Alfred's suicides (and Mercy and Augustine's ascensions) and have an honest opinion about it a little too soon.

It needn't even have been malicious. She could have merely whispered "that was shitty," within earshot before the bodies were cold.

She could have turned to Cytherea and promised she would NEVER do what Alfred and Cristabel had done - that it would always be their choice together, no secrets.

To Mercy, being a new denizen in the world of absolute grief, that might have been enough to put Loveday on the shit list for 10,000 years. How DARE she say anything about Cristabel now that she was gone? How DARE she acknowledge what, 10,000 years later, Mercy still could not acknowledge herself?

And remember: Cytherea was the last saint to ascend. We don't know how long it was between Mercy's ascension and Cytherea's. Loveday was the last, stubborn cavalier in the halls of Canaan House - a living, breathing reminder of what everyone else had already lost. It would be easy to resent her. She was the proof, however temporary, that it was possible to say no.

What we do know, from Cytherea herself, was that the choice was 100% mutual. She says "WE thought it would make me live." They waited until Cytherea was on her deathbed and made the decision together. Cytherea and Loveday got something Mercy never got.

All things considered, I might have hated her, too.

Who Was Loveday Heptane?

Maybe Loveday was angry but civil.

Maybe she had a bad attitude and never made friends.

Or maybe nobody thought about her twice until they were grieving themselves and it became too easy to make her an enemy for telling the truth.

We don't know who Loveday was in life, and the odds are good that we never will. She only survived as the death of light - the gleam in a monster's eyes.

But she was also the companion who was brave enough to accompany her necromancer to the grave. She was probably the person who filled Cytherea's lab with stunning, dreamy, pastoral frescoes, cozy cushions, and embroidered quilts, so she'd never have to know discomfort. She was the last cavalier standing when the pressure was high and mounting and did not give in until she didn't have a choice.

Augustine tells us that Cytherea loved unguardedly. She was a patient soul who loved the unlovable. And she loved Loveday Heptane: the good, bad, and ugly.

Somehow, all things considered, I can't help but love her, too.

i am thinking about lyctors names again. that one post where someone theorised that mercymorn was joy not bcs cristabel was joyful as a person, but bcs she brought john joy. pyrrha made him dutiful. alfred made him patient.

loveday didn't love john. loveday looked at everyone like she wanted them beaten. why do i have a feeling that cytherea was a saint of rage/disdain or something synonymous?

we know nothing about john's feelings on nigella, titania, valancy, so we don't know how the cassiopeia, ulysses amd cyrus were called.

moreover if we look at the current situation with lyctors, ianthe is saint of awe bcs she is the one bringing john awe. not naberius.

so in any au where entire canaan house ascended, john wouldn't know or particularly care about cavaliers. he wouldn't know how they looked. he name the fresh lyctors by what they bring him, remind him of.

harrow is forgiveness.

judith would be emptiness.

isaac would be sadness (?).

abigail would be doubt.

palamedes would be distrust.

dulcinea would be remembrance.

silas would be pity.

so. mercymorn's eyes are described as sort of a mainly red hazel colour. y'all ever wonder if cristabel's eyes were red post-res bc she shot herself in the head and john couldn't remember the actual colour after that?

Thinking about what Dios Apate Minor must've been like for Gideon Prime, and like.

Imagine your dinner nearly killed you the other day because the new kid your boss will not let you stop trying to kill finally took matters into her own hands. Fair enough, you can respect that, you'd prefer not to be doing all this either. Your dead ex is haunting the body of your recently deceased coworker, suffice it to say you have other problems.

Then a day or two later everyone shows up to dinner dressed to the nines. Nobody thought to tell you there was a party going on. You feel a bit awkward, and then they break out the wine, and you just know it's all about to get Worse. Because now your coworkers are talking about their dead best friends, and you know that never ends well.

They start talking about your dead best friend, talking about her appearance like being hot was the only thing she deserves to be remembered for. You remember that she had at least a dozen nicknames for everyone. Sometimes it feels like she's still here with you, but you will never find out for certain. All you have left is her green eyes in your face.

They still won't let you forget about your ex, either, refusing to let you live down a relationship you only half remember. You're still the only one who knows she's here. You're convinced that the new kid knows more than she says, but you have no way of confirming this.

You leave long before the threesome starts. You've got too much unfinished business to sit around talking about ghosts.

and it's obvious that if the execution of his character was just a tinier bit worse, it would have been easier to equal him to a proper "big evil but a good dad" trope. like anyone outside of the fandom or with bad reading comprehension could just look at his actions towards gideon/kiriona on paper and go "but he's actually good? he's a good dad!"

i'm talking about this only because i don't want to even think about g/k feelings in this situation. like. he's the god. he's the emperor. he is also your depressed cringe dad who fucked admiral sarpedon. he gave you a new name that connects you to his roots and gave you his surname to show that you're family. one of the first thing you saw him do was murdering his lovers. he ordered one of his best friends to kill a girl you have a very important relationship with. he knows how you were conceived and didn't even try to kill you for that? he gave you everything you wanted before and it's rotten. he's not the best but he also is better than your mom who hated you and wanted to kill you and didn't see you as a child at all. like. where do you go from that especially if you are gideon who never had anything even resembling parental love before?

I will laugh so hard if it turns out that John is making a sincere effort at being a decent parent and it's such an awful outcome for Gideon that I feel like it's plausible. He's giving off such man who thinks of himself as a good guy confronted with oops baby vibes.

john gaius preferred footwear?

absolutely nothing. he walks around the mithraeum with his grippers out. he props them up on the table during cohort admiralty meetings. mercy has taken to scattering legos on the floor throughout his personal quarters

It was the first time you realized God could not understand you.

“Teacher, may I ask a question? What does it mean to love God?”

Thinking about Judith Deuteros, told that her Blood of Eden captors are debating letting her die from peritonitis without pain relief:

"I thank the Prince Undying my God, merciful in justice and gentle in remembrance, for this being so. I haven’t thanked God enough over my life. It always seemed incredibly sentimental. And I didn’t wish to presuppose his interest."

About Ianthe, who doesn't pray, but who

“studied what happened when the Lord our Kindly God took our dead and dying Houses and brought them back to life, all those years ago … what price he would have had to pay."

And yet, who will ultimately turn on her mentor to save god himself.

Abigail, who doubts:

“I firmly believe that the Kindly Emperor knows nothing of that undiscovered country. He never claimed omnipotence. I longed my whole life to give him my findings”

And yet amidst that doubt, even in death, believes the god whose servant brutally murdered her is good and prays for help to the man who never claimed omnipotence:

"Pent even murmured, “The King over the River is good”

“Oh, God,” she heard Abigail say. “God, please help me.”

About Silas, a child raised in vengeful fundamentalism to exploit his cavalier, and yet who cannot fathom the possibility that god would ask the brutality of Lyctorhood of him:

"I understand that if the Emperor and King Undying came to me now and asked me why I was not a Lyctor, I would fall on my knees and beg his forgiveness, that any of us had ever failed this test. May I be burnt one atom at a time in the most silent hole in the most lightless part of space, Lord—Kindly Prince—should I ever contemplate betraying the compact you appointed between him, and you, and me.”

And Harrow, the product of the murder of 200 children in the name of preventing the death of god, who desperately asks god what it means to love him:

“Decent dinner and a bottle of average rosé. Maybe a movie. I’m not picky,” he said.

started re-reading htn

harrow: my parents… killed 200 babies in order for me to be born

john, who started nuclear war and wiped out the entire planet: cowabummer… anywayyyyyys ✨

I think about that exchange in HTN so much

It was the first time you realized God could not understand you.

im currently imagining john gaius going to the magnus institute to give a statement to jonathan sims

Honestly? Not gonna lie. Jod fucked up a lot of things. Like so many things. But I too would follow the billionaire assholes who used and abandoned us and our planet out into space and obsess about killing every last one of them. All the other stuff is bad bad news. But I absolutely understand the impulse to seek that revenge.

miau miau miau miaaaaauuu

god’s poorest little meow meow