Kermit Joker - Tumblr Posts
Hello
Greetings, brotherhood. Sisterhood. My comrades in arms. You may call me muppetjokerfan2303 or 2303. Take your pick. I go by he/him pronouns, but everytime I go on or off @the-muppet-joker s blog i apologize to every women in my house (2).
DNI:
Anti feminist, homophobes, transphobes etc etc
Anti Kin
Anti Muppet joker
Under 18
Gonzo, batman or Error kins
And most of all NO PONIES!
I do not care if you have pet horses. I do not care if you watch MLP or kin one of the characters. This is NOT a safe space for equines of any kind.
Edit: some ponies are okay I suppose… since the muppet joker likes them.
I will probably post muppet art and perhaps smut. I shall be ordering my own muppet (maybe kermit, maybe someone else) and will post muppet hole. It is inevitable.
I can’t believe this. I always thought Kermit would be undying, but his body… burned..
Goodbye, Sweet Prince
I hope your songs reach us, so that your angelic voice can bless us once more.
We will miss you, all of you. Your eyes (when you had them), your beautiful face, your succulent muppet hole...
Fly high, you sexy frog.
The woods are so loud. The bugs, the birds, the bears, all join in the howl of grief. They are meant to maim each other. To kill. But for tonight only their sorrow merges with the simple hope of reaching the heavens so you can hear them.
Fly high, Kermit.
Good (The Croaker) vs Evil (Athena)
I used @nextnumbermuppetjokerfan’s drawing of the coven as a reference since The Croaker said it was accurate and we do not have any pictures of Athena
Croaker: @the-muppet-joker
Athena: @mydarlingathena
Apologizes if it is not great. Think about muppet hole so a bit distracted.
Every time I shower I imagine the warm water is actually the Joker holding me
Is sinning allowed for the wacky muppet friends? are there any sins we should try out?
Only sin when God cannot see you, when He is blinded by His own hatred for His creation, when He is too distracted by the screams of His least favorite children in hell who He loves so, so much that He killed His favorite son for them and decided to burn them anyway
Sin when God is looking through you and can only see your future: unholy, imperfect, rotting bones, a bloody apple core in place of your heart, and a racing mind that cannot help but want and lust and yearn and sin with every passing thought it cannot control
He sees me in slow motion, ticking every tally of my degeneracy with each misplaced breath
He made me Wrong so that my Mother may watch me in perfect bliss from heaven as I my condemned, apple flesh being is ripped to shreds for eternity, the skin of my flayed soul curling up on the ground like the skin of the apples we used to peel when making pie together. She cannot cry so close to God so she laughs
For every time my heart would beat too fast
And I would want that which was forbidden
Sin when God is too busy looking through you to catch you being human
Anyway, I would have to say my top recommended sin is probably jacking off to muppet pregnancy
Muppet hole fresh out of the box <3
Close ups of his muppet hole <3
MUPPET SMUT MDNI
Kermit’s gripping the bedsheets as the cold aluminum tries to push out of his fluttering muppet hole.
“J-Joker…” he moans, missing his lovers warm girth. Sadly, the Joker is at work and can’t help Kermit. He has to do this alone.
Eventually, it all slides in, leaving the pitiful muppet trembling. It’s nowhere near as long as Joker cock, but it’s so... girthy.
Suddenly, he hears something.
“What’s all this then~?”
(For @the-muppet-joker)
More hole pics <3 he’s trying to take bigger and bigger…
I can’t tell if you are joking or not, but your posts are disturbing, and I hope for your family’s sake (especially your poor dad, uncle and aunt) that you stay away from them completly and just live a sad life of loneliness and lack of sexual experiences. I don't think god can even help you with the inner voices in your head, but maybe that is a good thing because I can’t even imagine the stuff you are thinking about
Heh. You're messing with the wrong muppet here. Word of advice pal? Don't EVER fuck with a Homestuck. We are twisted and deranged and we are an army ready to mobilize at any given time. We will find you and curse you in the tongues of the horrorterrors. I might just go Grimdark on your ass. Go to the police and tell them you have earned the wrath of a Homestuck, I dare you! They will tell you it is too late and that nothing in the world can save you, not even God, not even Andrew Hussie.
I downloaded a new pen. Trying to get used to using it…
Put 2 tiny bags of chips in his muppet hole and now it’s gapping~ oops!
more more more more
@doesntdiscriminate in an apple coustume because @muppetappleanon keeps asking him to put one on.
Hatsune Muppet Joker for @the-muppet-joker
Finished drawing + original design I drew up last night so I’d know what I wanted to do. Sorry for her weird hands lol