Dark Kermit - Tumblr Posts
when auditioning people for a sketch comedy show we had this exercise where we would give the auditionees a random prompt and they would have a few minutes to brainstorm potential sketch ideas. the example i would always give them as something really silly and goofy just to kinda make everyone feel comfy saying anything was i’d pick up the “bananas in business” and say “american psycho but we replace patrick bateman with b1 and b2 from bananas in pyjamas”.
anyway, one prompt was “dark kermit” and when i came up with it i was intended it to be kinda a reference to the meme, but in my heart just wanted an early 2000s emo kermit the frog. what was really weird though was that like 3 seperate people came up with a version of “mcr but gerard way is replaced with kermit the frog,” but i only gave “dark kermit” as a prompt to one person because we didn’t recycle prompts…to be fair we had one other muppet prompt, and the third person who came up with it was responding to someone bringing up muppets discourse. but like, it’s objectively strange that all these people (including me) where like “what if kermit was in mcr”?
also this is not my only kermit lore if you want more kermit lore lmk 🐸
I really think the mcr fan and muppet fan venn diagram needs to be studied under a microscope
i made an emo trans-masc kermit with a tiny sweater to be hidden in someone’s house as a secret cursed top-surgery present. he’s a little bit janky because i used no pattern and i’m still getting the hang of seeing but like, i love my boy…on also the sweater matches one that the person the kermit is being gifted to has, so they are twins!
Losing you
The river flows as always and the flowers are in full bloom. To most, today is like any other. They know not of your loss or of our sorrow. When I look to the stars, I find myself lost. Where are you? Nothing will fill the dark void in my chest like you did.
What comes next?
I can’t believe this. I always thought Kermit would be undying, but his body… burned..
Goodbye, Sweet Prince
I hope your songs reach us, so that your angelic voice can bless us once more.
We will miss you, all of you. Your eyes (when you had them), your beautiful face, your succulent muppet hole...
Fly high, you sexy frog.
🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
I can’t believe your depravity. Kermit was fucking BURNED and you send me an ask with just FIRE?!!! YOU ARE ALMOST AS BAD AS MISS PIGGY
Good (The Croaker) vs Evil (Athena)
I used @nextnumbermuppetjokerfan’s drawing of the coven as a reference since The Croaker said it was accurate and we do not have any pictures of Athena
Croaker: @the-muppet-joker
Athena: @mydarlingathena
Apologizes if it is not great. Think about muppet hole so a bit distracted.
Every time I shower I imagine the warm water is actually the Joker holding me
Mother has order me a Kermit plushie, extremely similar to the one the Croaker had. He shall be here Monday. Throbbing in anticipation…
A Rose
I've heard that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but part of the roses appeal is the name. Maybe by simply hearing that name, we already have expectations that our brain will try to pursue, even if it is by convincing ourselves the rose smells sweeter than it actually does.
But this is different. No matter what, it would always be as magical, as captivating as it always is. No matter what name, muppet hole makes me feel the same. ♡
Is sinning allowed for the wacky muppet friends? are there any sins we should try out?
Only sin when God cannot see you, when He is blinded by His own hatred for His creation, when He is too distracted by the screams of His least favorite children in hell who He loves so, so much that He killed His favorite son for them and decided to burn them anyway
Sin when God is looking through you and can only see your future: unholy, imperfect, rotting bones, a bloody apple core in place of your heart, and a racing mind that cannot help but want and lust and yearn and sin with every passing thought it cannot control
He sees me in slow motion, ticking every tally of my degeneracy with each misplaced breath
He made me Wrong so that my Mother may watch me in perfect bliss from heaven as I my condemned, apple flesh being is ripped to shreds for eternity, the skin of my flayed soul curling up on the ground like the skin of the apples we used to peel when making pie together. She cannot cry so close to God so she laughs
For every time my heart would beat too fast
And I would want that which was forbidden
Sin when God is too busy looking through you to catch you being human
Anyway, I would have to say my top recommended sin is probably jacking off to muppet pregnancy
Muppet hole fresh out of the box <3
MUPPET SMUT MDNI
Kermit’s gripping the bedsheets as the cold aluminum tries to push out of his fluttering muppet hole.
“J-Joker…” he moans, missing his lovers warm girth. Sadly, the Joker is at work and can’t help Kermit. He has to do this alone.
Eventually, it all slides in, leaving the pitiful muppet trembling. It’s nowhere near as long as Joker cock, but it’s so... girthy.
Suddenly, he hears something.
“What’s all this then~?”
(For @the-muppet-joker)
More hole pics <3 he’s trying to take bigger and bigger…
I can’t tell if you are joking or not, but your posts are disturbing, and I hope for your family’s sake (especially your poor dad, uncle and aunt) that you stay away from them completly and just live a sad life of loneliness and lack of sexual experiences. I don't think god can even help you with the inner voices in your head, but maybe that is a good thing because I can’t even imagine the stuff you are thinking about
Heh. You're messing with the wrong muppet here. Word of advice pal? Don't EVER fuck with a Homestuck. We are twisted and deranged and we are an army ready to mobilize at any given time. We will find you and curse you in the tongues of the horrorterrors. I might just go Grimdark on your ass. Go to the police and tell them you have earned the wrath of a Homestuck, I dare you! They will tell you it is too late and that nothing in the world can save you, not even God, not even Andrew Hussie.
I downloaded a new pen. Trying to get used to using it…
Put 2 tiny bags of chips in his muppet hole and now it’s gapping~ oops!