Killingyourself - Tumblr Posts
L'appel Du Vide
He staggered from one pillar to another hoping that one of them would share his pain.
He walked through his school corridor meeting the judgemental glares of his fellow peers.
He passed by a class and saw a girl getting yelled at by her teacher. The teacher not knowing the pain the young girl goes through continues to batter her with harsh words.
He resumed walking, he realized that this place will never let him fail. No matter how hard things are ,this place will always remind how much he messed up, how he disappoints everyone and how he'll never live up to anyone's expectations.
The cold realization struck him when he found himself on the top floor of the school.
The cold air brushing his face with unkindness. He looks down and marvels how no one knows that he's up here, how no one knows who he is.
He's tempted to take the fall.
He wonders if he will do this will things change?
He wonders if he will do this will people finally realize and stop someone else from making a decision like this?
He truly wonders.
He sheds his jacket wanting to feel the coldness of the evening.
Wanting to be free of any warmth.
But at the same time he wants to be saved
He wants to be warm.
He understands that will never happen.
He knows that he will never experience a mother's love or a friend's trust.
After all who is he?
No one
And that's when he gives in to his temptation.
The earth capturing him in a trance and welcoming him with open arms.
In the few seconds of his flight he hoped that someone would catch him.
Someone would pacify his trembling heart.
But he knows truly that it will not happen.
And gladly welcomes the blackness that will keep him safe from the coldness of this world.