Lee Chan X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Paring: Dino x fem!reader
Requested: no
Genre: angst, fluff
Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)
Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.
Word count: 6k
Other works
disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.
special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out đ
a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, donât fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.
So thatâs exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblingsâ dreams.
But what did it all get him?
Nothing!
He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.
To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chanâs defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of âsâ, as our dear âKwanieâ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of âsâ, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).
Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. Itâs not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.
Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chanâs life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.
Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!
This is where you came in, the reason for Chanâs genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For Godâs sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.
He became a person like his father.
You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didnât want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.
It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.
--
âChan, Iâm heading out. Dinnerâs in the fridgeâplease actually eat it this time. We donât need two meal skippers in this household,â you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document heâd been typing for the past hour.
âSure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!â he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.
Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. Itâs been tough, but heâs persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.
Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.
Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that itâs exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.
The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously canât disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldnât interfere with your job either.
But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didnât think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.
The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.
If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.
â
One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.
You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.
But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.
Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.
That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.
Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.
âLeave him!â they had told you, âhe wouldnât change, he prefers his job more than you.â
It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.
It didnât take too long for those dreams to come true, though.
â
One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.
That night brought you both another few years, or thatâs what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.
What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.
â
It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.
It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.
Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employeeâs usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.
Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.
You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.
It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.
This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each otherâs company way more than ever.
â
It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.
So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didnât have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.
âBut what ring do I buy her?â the stressed boy asked his best friend.
âWow, I wasnât informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!â Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.
âDude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ainât no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,â the shorter boy retorted back.
Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?â
âBecause she said, and I quote, âif you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I canât even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate youâ,â Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwanâs throat.
âDo something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,â making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, âPut in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!â
Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldnât come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.
It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.
Perfect!
If you didnât want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!
â
This kick-started the learner phase of Chanâs life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.
He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.
âWho wouldnât?â he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.
Because, oh boy, was he in love.
--
It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.
Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.
The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chanâs life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.
To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.
But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.
The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.
The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.
Itâs not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chanâs limits in the wrong way, you didnât waste a second to tell him.
âI think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. Itâs unbelievably bad for your health,â you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.
âI know how to have fun, not my fault you donât!â
The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.
âDo you remember what happened yesterday?â you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, âChan, you canât let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please donât overdo anything, I beg you!â You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.
He didnât. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.
â
Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.
During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.
He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.
--
It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.
The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities donât come every day, so you were elated.
Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.
With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancĂ© behind. Chan didnât like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.
But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldnât bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadnât made decisions that ruined his life.
--
So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didnât take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.
The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, âI will marry you once I come back, like that, we wonât have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.â
âYou are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,â was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.
Life was starting to feel better again.
Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didnât appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.
â
Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.
âNow if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?â the older boy questioned him.
âNo, but I miss her already,â Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.
âBe nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. Itâs not the Stone Age,â Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.
But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six oâclock in the evening.
You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.
But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldnât pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.
Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.
It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.
Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.
â
One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.
She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.
You had come back for a weekâs vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.
You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.
For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriendâs choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.
This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.
â
Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chanâs birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldnât visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, âYour birthday is in six months; Iâm gonna make it hell for you.â
âWhatever, old man, get dressed. Donât you have a job to go to?â You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.
âI miss you,â Chan suddenly called out, pouting.
âYou will meet me next month, Channie. Donât be this sad now.â Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But itâs not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.
That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.
Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.
The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.
There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.
He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didnât either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.
So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.
â
âYou kissed me,â was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chanâs heart drop to his stomach.
âHuh, but I donât remember anything,â Chan retorted.
âItâs not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,â she said, her voice almost breaking.
âHey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didnât do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldnât have done it,â this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girlâs mood.
On the other hand, Chanâs blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.
âChan, I think I like you. Iâm not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please donât tell me I wouldnât have done it if we werenât intoxicated.â
The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.
So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.
Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didnât feel what he was supposed to. He didnât feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.
He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didnât know.
But, that night, they did more than kissing.
â
Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each otherâs presence.
But it didnât take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.
But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.
All those questions of âwhere were you last nightâ, âwhen will you come homeâ, or âshall we go on a date sometime soonâ, all went unanswered.
He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didnât stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.
Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boyâs disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,
âEither you tell her or I will.â
âBut I canât; she will leave me if I ever tell her.â
âThen she will be right in doing so.â
âChan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Donât hurt her more,â he had said.
âGive me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,â the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.
âShe better know about it all before the wedding,â Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.
â
Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.
This relationship didnât make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.
But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldnât give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.
It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.
âChan, itâs yours.â
âEva, I have a fiancĂ©. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.â
âOh, so you didnât think about that before fucking meâ
âIt was a mistakeâ, Chan shouted.
âNo, it wasnât, we both were very soberâ, came another shout
The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.
You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friendâs place.
Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you wonât talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.
That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.
â
Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasnât the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.
Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.
He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesnât deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.
He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didnât have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.
The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.
He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.
Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldnât; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.
As he stood there saying his vows, hoping itâs you he saw walking down the aisle and itâs you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.
As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

Paring: Dino x fem!reader
Requested: no
Genre: angst, fluff
Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)
Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.
Word count: 6k
Other works
disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.
special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out đ
a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask. Moreover, if you loved it, don't forget to reblog and help me reach a wider audience.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, donât fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.
So thatâs exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblingsâ dreams.
But what did it all get him?
Nothing!
He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.
To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chanâs defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of âsâ, as our dear âKwanieâ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of âsâ, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).
Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. Itâs not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.
Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chanâs life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.
Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!
This is where you came in, the reason for Chanâs genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For Godâs sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.
He became a person like his father.
You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didnât want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.
It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.
--
âChan, Iâm heading out. Dinnerâs in the fridgeâplease actually eat it this time. We donât need two meal skippers in this household,â you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document heâd been typing for the past hour.
âSure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!â he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.
Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. Itâs been tough, but heâs persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.
Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.
Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that itâs exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.
The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously canât disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldnât interfere with your job either.
But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didnât think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.
The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.
If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.
â
One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.
You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.
But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.
Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.
That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.
Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.
âLeave him!â they had told you, âhe wouldnât change, he prefers his job more than you.â
It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.
It didnât take too long for those dreams to come true, though.
â
One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.
That night brought you both another few years, or thatâs what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.
What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.
â
It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.
It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.
Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employeeâs usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.
Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.
You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.
It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.
This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each otherâs company way more than ever.
â
It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.
So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didnât have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.
âBut what ring do I buy her?â the stressed boy asked his best friend.
âWow, I wasnât informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!â Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.
âDude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ainât no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,â the shorter boy retorted back.
Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?â
âBecause she said, and I quote, âif you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I canât even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate youâ,â Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwanâs throat.
âDo something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,â making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, âPut in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!â
Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldnât come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.
It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.
Perfect!
If you didnât want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!
â
This kick-started the learner phase of Chanâs life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.
He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.
âWho wouldnât?â he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.
Because, oh boy, was he in love.
--
It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.
Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.
The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chanâs life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.
To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.
But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.
The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.
The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.
Itâs not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chanâs limits in the wrong way, you didnât waste a second to tell him.
âI think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. Itâs unbelievably bad for your health,â you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.
âI know how to have fun, not my fault you donât!â
The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.
âDo you remember what happened yesterday?â you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, âChan, you canât let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please donât overdo anything, I beg you!â You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.
He didnât. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.
â
Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.
During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.
He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.
--
It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.
The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities donât come every day, so you were elated.
Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.
With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancĂ© behind. Chan didnât like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.
But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldnât bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadnât made decisions that ruined his life.
--
So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didnât take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.
The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, âI will marry you once I come back, like that, we wonât have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.â
âYou are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,â was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.
Life was starting to feel better again.
Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didnât appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.
â
Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.
âNow if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?â the older boy questioned him.
âNo, but I miss her already,â Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.
âBe nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. Itâs not the Stone Age,â Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.
But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six oâclock in the evening.
You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.
But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldnât pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.
Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.
It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.
Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.
â
One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.
She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.
You had come back for a weekâs vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.
You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.
For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriendâs choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.
This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.
â
Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chanâs birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldnât visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, âYour birthday is in six months; Iâm gonna make it hell for you.â
âWhatever, old man, get dressed. Donât you have a job to go to?â You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.
âI miss you,â Chan suddenly called out, pouting.
âYou will meet me next month, Channie. Donât be this sad now.â Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But itâs not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.
That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.
Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.
The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.
There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.
He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didnât either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.
So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.
â
âYou kissed me,â was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chanâs heart drop to his stomach.
âHuh, but I donât remember anything,â Chan retorted.
âItâs not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,â she said, her voice almost breaking.
âHey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didnât do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldnât have done it,â this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girlâs mood.
On the other hand, Chanâs blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.
âChan, I think I like you. Iâm not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please donât tell me I wouldnât have done it if we werenât intoxicated.â
The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.
So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.
Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didnât feel what he was supposed to. He didnât feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.
He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didnât know.
But, that night, they did more than kissing.
â
Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each otherâs presence.
But it didnât take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.
But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.
All those questions of âwhere were you last nightâ, âwhen will you come homeâ, or âshall we go on a date sometime soonâ, all went unanswered.
He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didnât stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.
Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boyâs disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,
âEither you tell her or I will.â
âBut I canât; she will leave me if I ever tell her.â
âThen she will be right in doing so.â
âChan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Donât hurt her more,â he had said.
âGive me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,â the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.
âShe better know about it all before the wedding,â Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.
â
Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.
This relationship didnât make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.
But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldnât give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.
It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.
âChan, itâs yours.â
âEva, I have a fiancĂ©. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.â
âOh, so you didnât think about that before fucking meâ
âIt was a mistakeâ, Chan shouted.
âNo, it wasnât, we both were very soberâ, came another shout
The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.
You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friendâs place.
Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you wonât talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.
That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.
â
Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasnât the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.
Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.
He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesnât deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.
He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didnât have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.
The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.
He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.
Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldnât; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.
As he stood there saying his vows, hoping itâs you he saw walking down the aisle and itâs you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.
As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

Paring: Dino x fem!reader
Requested: no
Genre: angst, fluff
Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)
Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.
Word count: 6k
Other works
disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.
special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out đ
a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask. Moreover, if you loved it, don't forget to reblog and help me reach a wider audience.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, donât fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.
So thatâs exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblingsâ dreams.
But what did it all get him?
Nothing!
He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.
To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chanâs defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of âsâ, as our dear âKwanieâ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of âsâ, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).
Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. Itâs not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.
Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chanâs life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.
Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!
This is where you came in, the reason for Chanâs genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For Godâs sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.
He became a person like his father.
You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didnât want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.
It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.
--
âChan, Iâm heading out. Dinnerâs in the fridgeâplease actually eat it this time. We donât need two meal skippers in this household,â you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document heâd been typing for the past hour.
âSure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!â he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.
Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. Itâs been tough, but heâs persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.
Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.
Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that itâs exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.
The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously canât disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldnât interfere with your job either.
But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didnât think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.
The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.
If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.
â
One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.
You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.
But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.
Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.
That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.
Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.
âLeave him!â they had told you, âhe wouldnât change, he prefers his job more than you.â
It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.
It didnât take too long for those dreams to come true, though.
â
One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.
That night brought you both another few years, or thatâs what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.
What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.
â
It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.
It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.
Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employeeâs usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.
Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.
You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.
It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.
This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each otherâs company way more than ever.
â
It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.
So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didnât have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.
âBut what ring do I buy her?â the stressed boy asked his best friend.
âWow, I wasnât informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!â Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.
âDude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ainât no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,â the shorter boy retorted back.
Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?â
âBecause she said, and I quote, âif you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I canât even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate youâ,â Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwanâs throat.
âDo something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,â making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, âPut in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!â
Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldnât come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.
It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.
Perfect!
If you didnât want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!
â
This kick-started the learner phase of Chanâs life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.
He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.
âWho wouldnât?â he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.
Because, oh boy, was he in love.
--
It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.
Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.
The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chanâs life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.
To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.
But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.
The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.
The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.
Itâs not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chanâs limits in the wrong way, you didnât waste a second to tell him.
âI think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. Itâs unbelievably bad for your health,â you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.
âI know how to have fun, not my fault you donât!â
The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.
âDo you remember what happened yesterday?â you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, âChan, you canât let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please donât overdo anything, I beg you!â You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.
He didnât. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.
â
Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.
During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.
He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.
--
It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.
The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities donât come every day, so you were elated.
Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.
With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancĂ© behind. Chan didnât like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.
But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldnât bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadnât made decisions that ruined his life.
--
So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didnât take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.
The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, âI will marry you once I come back, like that, we wonât have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.â
âYou are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,â was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.
Life was starting to feel better again.
Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didnât appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.
â
Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.
âNow if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?â the older boy questioned him.
âNo, but I miss her already,â Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.
âBe nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. Itâs not the Stone Age,â Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.
But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six oâclock in the evening.
You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.
But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldnât pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.
Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.
It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.
Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.
â
One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.
She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.
You had come back for a weekâs vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.
You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.
For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriendâs choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.
This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.
â
Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chanâs birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldnât visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, âYour birthday is in six months; Iâm gonna make it hell for you.â
âWhatever, old man, get dressed. Donât you have a job to go to?â You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.
âI miss you,â Chan suddenly called out, pouting.
âYou will meet me next month, Channie. Donât be this sad now.â Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But itâs not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.
That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.
Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.
The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.
There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.
He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didnât either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.
So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.
â
âYou kissed me,â was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chanâs heart drop to his stomach.
âHuh, but I donât remember anything,â Chan retorted.
âItâs not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,â she said, her voice almost breaking.
âHey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didnât do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldnât have done it,â this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girlâs mood.
On the other hand, Chanâs blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.
âChan, I think I like you. Iâm not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please donât tell me I wouldnât have done it if we werenât intoxicated.â
The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.
So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.
Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didnât feel what he was supposed to. He didnât feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.
He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didnât know.
But, that night, they did more than kissing.
â
Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each otherâs presence.
But it didnât take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.
But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.
All those questions of âwhere were you last nightâ, âwhen will you come homeâ, or âshall we go on a date sometime soonâ, all went unanswered.
He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didnât stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.
Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boyâs disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,
âEither you tell her or I will.â
âBut I canât; she will leave me if I ever tell her.â
âThen she will be right in doing so.â
âChan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Donât hurt her more,â he had said.
âGive me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,â the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.
âShe better know about it all before the wedding,â Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.
â
Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.
This relationship didnât make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.
But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldnât give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.
It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.
âChan, itâs yours.â
âEva, I have a fiancĂ©. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.â
âOh, so you didnât think about that before fucking meâ
âIt was a mistakeâ, Chan shouted.
âNo, it wasnât, we both were very soberâ, came another shout
The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.
You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friendâs place.
Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you wonât talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.
That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.
â
Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasnât the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.
Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.
He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesnât deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.
He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didnât have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.
The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.
He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.
Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldnât; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.
As he stood there saying his vows, hoping itâs you he saw walking down the aisle and itâs you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.
As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end
do y'all mind if I scream đł
â DINO BOYFRIEND HABITS



pairing: dino (chan) x reader
genre: headcannons, fluff, established relationship
a/n: 10th part of the seventeen boyfriend habits series (requested) !! sent an ask to suggest the next member! ask to be on the taglist or fill out the form!
back to seventeen boyfriend habits masterlist!

â orders for you when you're out
when you both have days off, dino likes to take you out and end the day by eating out. itâs always nice when your boyfriend grabs your hand in his, squeezing it tightly as he sways both of your hands back and forth while walking through the streets. when you arrive at whatever restaurant you decided to go to that day, dino always pulls your chair out for you and pushes it back when youâre seated, kissing you on the temple and pinching you jokingly on the shoulder. dino doesnât care about the stares he receives from the other customers or the waiters, continuing to hold your hand on the table and stare at you lovingly. when the waitress finally makes her way over to your table, he greets her before looking back at you, silently understanding what youâre telling him. he would then order for you, turning to you a few times to make sure thatâs what you wanted, before ordering for himself. dino knows you can become quite anxious for such things and he has no problem reassuring you, ordering for you if he has to.
â makes you sit in his lap whenever you walk by
the first time you sat in dinoâs lap, it was actually an accident. you had only been dating for a few weeks and you were both invited to a party of a mutual friend. it was a nice party but it was packed, the apartment way too small to fit so many people. while dino was sitting on the couch, you went to grab two drinks from the kitchen and when you came back, someone accidentally walked into you. you then bumped your knee in the corner of the coffee table and almost toppled over at the pain but dino was faster and in less than a second, he was holding onto you. you two blushed furiously when you realized you were basically sitting in his lap, his fingers massaging your bruised knee. lots of apologies left your mouth and you tried to stand up but dino held onto you tightly. the night ended with you two still cuddling on mingyuâs couch, you sitting in his lap while he whispered sweet things in your ear. after that night, everytime you would walk by dino while he was sitting down, he would always pull you down to sit on his lap, even for a few seconds, needing you close to him.
â pulls you towards him by the hoop of your jeans
as your boyfriend loves to have you on his lap, he knows youâre quite the tease and purposely walks quickly past him so he canât pull you down on his lap. it always leaves you laughing and him pouting. when youâre in the mood to tease him, dino knows that if he wants to cuddle you and have you in his lap, he has to think quickly and âattackâ you when youâre not paying attention or not expecting it. at first, he was pretty victorious but then you started dodging him whenever you would notice his hands in the corner of your eye so he had to come up with another plan. the perfect opportunity came when you were out with your mutual friends and you were wearing a pair of jeansâ his favorite of yours. you had tried to run away when dino approached you after you bought yourself some ice-cream, knowing he would try and steal it from you. but then, out of nowhere, you felt a quick tug on the loop of your jeans before you were send straight into your boyfriendâs arms. your boyfriend had the most satisfied smile on his face as he tugged softly at the loops this time. and at that moment, you knew dino had found a new way to keep you close to him, not that you would ever complain.
â spins you around when you try things on
even if dino loves being an idol and considers it more his hobby than his job, he hates how much it separates the two of you. heâs very busy and he canât always just take a break to visit you or go on a trip with you, so instead, dino tries to bring home little souvenirs of the cities he visited. most of the time, those âsouvenirs'' are clothes, accessories or jewelry he thinks would suit you, the price tags always making you gasp in horror. youâre obviously always thankful for his gifts and directly try them on to show him, making him coo at you in awe. of course dino loves seeing you, his beloved partner, dressed up in things he bought. but his favorite thing to do in such a situation is to spin you around, taking a good look at how the clothes suit you or how the jewelry sparkles against your skin. but the spinning you around isnât only reserved for when youâre dressed up, he also does it when you get out of bed, when you get out of the shower wrapped in a towel or when he walks in on you changing. dino just loves spinning you around, admiring his beautiful partner as much as he can.

perm. taglist: @0x1lovebot @fairybinie @blaqpinksthetic @odetoyeonjun @pockyandme @soobin-chois @soobisms @junityy @kaimal @laylasbunbunny @jaeyunverse @bibinnieposts @raevyng @yoonzin0
svt bf habits taglist: @baldi-2 @soov @ggyulicious @enhacolor @shuabby1994 @mariecoura @rosellerinfrost @jaemicr @just-here-to-read-01 @inmynewwrld @bigbossbennett @pearlygraysky @mika-t3t @niktwazny303 @minhwa @ikigaiox @bestboysvt @kokoiinuts @a-wandering-stay @maimeetangka @amethyistheart @fluorescentloves
please do not copy, repost or steal any of my work. all content belongs to @odxrilove
I'm gonna cry đ this is so sweet
make it better; dino x reader

request: Hey bestie I loved your Dino âvacationâ story so so so much! Hoping for a part 2 or just another Lee Chan fluffy angst? Thank you âșïž
synopsis: after forgetting to pick you up, chan does his best to make it up to you
a/n: short and sweet! i really didn't have any other ideas atm...
cw: being forgotten, swearing, slight angst
genre: fluff, comfort, established relationship
word count: 1.5k
.âïœĄââËïœĄâïœĄËâœËïœĄâ. .âïœĄââËïœĄâïœĄËâœËïœĄâ. .âïœĄââËïœĄâïœĄËâœËïœĄâ. .âïœĄââËïœĄâïœĄËâœËïœĄâ.
"Shit, shit, shit...", he muttered as he ran down the stairs of the apartment complex.
The rain was pouring outside, by now you had probably caught a cold, and he wasn't there to pick you up in time. This is his fault, and only thinking about your lonely figure on the side of the street makes him want to cry. You had asked him this morning, in the middle of his dazed mood, if he could pick you up after a job interview. Of course, Chan had agreed and said that it would be no problem. By the end of his day, which wasn't busier than any other day, he had forgotten about you and gone home. Your text reading "where are you?" had gotten him out of his seat on the couch and sprinting down the stairs. Guilt spread through his entire body and leaked into his bones as he got into his car. He could not believe himself.
When he saw you standing alone in the downpour his heart broke even further. There was a sad and disappointed look on your face that Chan was sure he would never be able to erase from his mind. You open the car door and he immediately pulled off his jacket to give it to you. With trembling hands, you take his jacket and put it over your chest.
"I'm so sorry, baby... I didn't mean to, I just-"
"Can you just drive?", you sniffled and turned away from him.
Chan and his friends had joked about how if their partner ever turned their legs toward the door instead of them it meant trouble. But now, when it was real, the action was much more hurtful than he could expect. Your entire body was turned toward the window instead of him, and he felt even lonelier than when he was the only one in the car. But he still couldn't find it in him to feel bad for himself. He had fucked up, and he wasn't about to deny that.
As soon as he had parked in your apartment complex's parking lot, you opened up the door and briskly walked inside. You didn't wait for him inside either, instead letting the elevator doors close right in front of his eyes. Chan pressed the button before it could start moving, and the doors opened again. When he got inside, you didn't look at him. In the mirror, he could see your puffy red eyes. You had been crying. Chan was ready to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness for making you cry, but the elevator doors opened and you stepped outside.
"I'm going to take a shower.", you muttered as you kicked off your shoes and made your way to the bathroom.
Chan carefully put his and your shoes away in the right place before walking over to the bedroom. He pulled out the clothes you usually always stole from him from his closet. It was his comfiest hoody and an old pair of sweatpants. Most of the time he would jokingly complain whenever you stole them, so giving them to you willingly felt strange. You had left the door to the bathroom unlocked. A part of him hoped it wasn't just because you had forgotten, and that you actually wanted him to walk in and pamper you.
"I have some clothes for you, sweetheart.", he said to the closed shower curtain.
You hummed over the sound of the water hitting the floor. Chan put the clothes on a small stool next to the sink and stepped out again, giving you your space. He wracked his brain for something else to do to make up for his behavior. So, he started making you tea and preparing a few blankets for you on the couch. And despite hating the film himself, he put on your favorite movie - ready for the two of you to watch when you got out of your shower.
The door to the bathroom opened and you stepped out in your towel with his clothes in your arms. Chan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but you looked over at him with a small smile.
"You forgot to get me underwear.", you whispered out with the hint of a giggle.
"Oh... well, I made you tea... and I was thinking we could watch your favorite movie.", he said shyly, "Only if you want to, of course."
"It sounds nice.", you nodded.
When you got back from the bedroom, now dressed in his clothes, you immediately went to the couch and grabbed the fluffiest blanket to wrap around you. Chan sat on the opposite end of the couch, watching you carefully as you sipped your tea.
"This won't change the fact that you forgot, you know.", you put down your teacup.
"I know...", he nodded, "And I really am sorry. I completely forgot, like an idiot- and it's not because I would ever forget you, I just... I don't have an excuse. I don't know what happened, really."
A silence fell over the two of you. Neither of you looked away from the other. You didn't want to be mad at him, it didn't feel right, but you still felt hurt.
"Can you promise me to not do it again?", you asked.
"I promise.", he held out his pinky finger.
Giggling, you leaned over and connected your pinky finger with his. Chan put his other hand on your wrist and pulled you toward him, laying you on his chest.
"Did the interview at least go well?", he asked.
"I don't think so...", you sighed and shuffled around to get under his blanket so that you could be closer to him, "It was super awkward... I felt too embarrassed to go inside to wait for you."
"You'll do better next time, baby.", he soothed, "And I won't forget you next time either."
"You better not.", you leaned your hands on his chest to get a better look at his face, "Or I'll get really mad."
"If I ever forget you again, you should just break up with me.", he said, completely serious, "You deserve better than that."
"No, I don't want to do that.", you frowned but then jokingly added, "Who's clothes would I steal then?"
Chan broke out into a big grin and put his arms around you. You pressed a quick kiss on his lips before putting your head on his chest. His hand went to the back of your head after turning on the movie with the remote laying beside him. For you, he'd watch any horrible film thousand times over. However, when you eventually fell asleep halfway through the movie, he turned it off to let you keep resting. Without waking you, he tucked you in a bit better and got comfy - he would lay there for as long as you needed him to.
When you finally woke up, Chan had also fallen asleep. His head had lulled to the side and his mouth was slightly open. He looked so peaceful... so of course, you had to get payback.
"Chan wake up!", you exclaimed and shook his body awake.
Laughter filled the air as Chan startled awake and let out a yelp. He glared at you with tired eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but you started patting his cheeks with your hands - repeating "wake up" with each delicate slap. Eventually, Chan grabbed both your wrists and held them away from his face.
"Stop it...", he groaned, "I was having such a nice dream."
"It's payback.", you said.
"That's fair...", he sighed and opened his eyes, "Did you sleep okay? What time is it?"
Chan started rubbing his face to wake up. It reminded you of when an otter washes their face, and you made sure to remember it to bring it up at a later date.
"It's pretty late.", you hummed and looked at your phone, "Nine PM."
"Do you want to order some food?", he asked, "You can choose whatever you want."
"Yeah?", you grinned
"Whatever you want, sweetheart.", he reassured you and closed his eyes again.
"Thank you.", you pressed another kiss on his lips and started getting up from the couch.
"No, no, no... you don't have to leave.", he whined and clasped your hand before you could go, "You can order right here."
He kept pulling on your hand, making you lay back down on top of him. You chuckled as he let out a content sigh. The two of you stayed there as you placed an order, right until the order came to the door. Chan urged you to stay as he went to get it, and you couldn't argue with that.
The rain kept pouring for the rest of the night, but neither of you cared anymore. While eating, you watched the rest of the movie together and stayed on the couch until it was time to go to bed. Everything was back to normal, and you felt lucky to have a boyfriend who always knew the right words to say and the right things to do to make you feel better.
đââ€ïžâ€ïžâš
æŽç: SWEETER



pairing : boyfriend!chan x gn!reader
genre: fluff.
warning(s): just some making out. this is just short.
æçŠ: he can't stop himself from tasting your lips over and over again after having your full attention.

you sat at your desk, paperwork in your hands and a laptop in front of you. you hadn't changed out of your work attire, and your partner seemed to be vying for your attention.
with a scowl on his lips, he's seated alongside you in his own swivel chair, tugging on your clothes. you simply took his hands in yours and mumbled a 'sorry'.
"i'll just finish this, love," you whispered as you kissed his hands. you didn't let go of his hand while working, and he waited beside you, watching you work.
he's been staring at your lips and the way you bite them while you're focused on your work. it's attractive, excessively attractive. "done!" you exclaimed, turning to face your boyfriend and squeezing his cheeks. he's now grinning broadly. "all right, I'll just take a bath," she says.
he pouted once more, his smile vanishing. you pinched his cheeks and murmured, "it'll be quick." he's adorable without even trying.
you return to the living room to find chan sitting on the couch in his black shirt, which although being a plain shirt, always looks stunning on him. he opened his arms for you as you approached him and hugged him.
he's under you, giggling, since you've thrown all your weight on him and both of you have flopped down on the couch. "am i heavy?" you asked, and he nods, causing you to smack his chest, while he simply chuckles.
when you both fell deeper in each other's eyes, the television that was playing in front of both of you went unnoticed. he clutches your waist, swallowing at how close your face is, how kissable your lips look, and how he was only an inch away from kissing you.
you pressed your lips against his, caressing his cheeks. It was quite cozy and warm. his lips have a sweet taste to it, and you can't help but become addicted to them. he sat down without breaking your kiss, you on his lap, his hands traveling down your back while the other grabs your chin, dominantly taking the lead.
he groans in pleasure as you open your mouth, fighting his tongue with yours, your hands grasping his hair and shirt. the kiss wasn't too hard or too soft, just the way you like it.
the sound of the doorbell interrupts you two, and you give him a quick peck on the lips, your lips departing his with an apologetic look. you get out of his lap, but he doesn't let go of your hands. he's pouting like a toddler who has lost his toy.
you laughed at him and replied, "it was my honey bread, love."
he tugged on the sleeve of your long-sleeved shirt. "you have other honey now?" he whispered.
"i can't believe you will leave me for a bread." he continued, his hands still clutching your sleeves. "go then," he said.
"you're still grabbing me," you said as you yanked his hands away and dashed off to get the honey bread you'd ordered. he discreetly grins at how quickly you rush to your order and how adorable you look.
"do you want some?" you asked as you ran back, opening the food and chewing into one. he merely nods and gets one as well.
he can't take his gaze away from your lips. your lips appear slightly swollen and redder as a result of the kiss. when he realizes what he's doing, he chokes on his food. what is he thinking?!
you looked worried. he finally calmed down and stated, "i'm okay!" his gaze has shifted to his bread, and he is no longer looking at you. "does it taste good? i suppose yes!"
"it does. you have a taste," he replied, chewing and glancing at the television. you keep talking to him, but he never looks at you, which makes you feel uneasy.
"lee chan," you grumbled, his body tensing at the mention of his full name. everything happened too quickly, his lips now on yours, and you were stunned and flustered.
"i've been waiting to initiate the kiss, but you always beat me to it," he whispered suddenly, the taste of the honey bread washed away by your lips. if he compares your lips with honey, your lips are sweeter, and he'll never grow tired of tasting them.

đđđđđđđđđ đđđŸ đđđŸđ (đżđđŁđ€/ëë ž)

back to directory (^-^)ïŒ
pov:Â dino as your bestfriend na crush mo pero hindi ka naman crush (pt 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) by @moonwonuu
Shall We? by @starsstuddedsky
Amy by @enyearns
college!boyfriend chan by @etherealyoungk
yapper chan & listener gf
SIMP NOTES
twelve. 09 !!! stream guilty










previous || masterlist || next
PAIRING || lee chan x female reader
GENRES || fluff, strangers to lovers, college au, humour, love triangle, angst
SUMMARY || lee chan, college's critically acclaimed and certified (read: self-proclaimed) cupid was a hundred percent sure that his guide to love manual aka the simp notes worked just perfectly fine, seeing the number of campus couples he had managed to get together. until you came up with your complex romantic problem and chan finds his trustworthy notes betraying him, especially when he begins to fall for you.
or, in which, chan never thought he would be following his own simp notes to win over you.
WARNINGS || swearing...if bitchless is counted as swearing
A/N || stream guilty y'all; support my boy taem đȘđȘđȘ (esp now that hes redebutting)
if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask!

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyoneâs thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated! Â

© đđđđđđđđđđ đđđđ

this has made me realise that I might have a soft spot for chan
heads up! food.
"do you want to see how much they love me?" you can hear chan before you see him, vernon and seungkwan next to him. he steps ahead of them so that he can approach you first, glancing down at the little meal in front of you. he sits down across from you, calling your name in a cute voice. "can i have a dumpling?"
you don't even hesitate. not when his friends are right there, and you know you'll get a laugh from vernon (if not both). "nope."
chan gawks at you, genuine disappointment in his eyes as his friends cackle. everyone knows that you don't share food unless you truly like someone. your boyfriend is one of those people who gets to take whatever he wants when he asks... except for this time.
vernon sits down on your other side, still grinning: he knows you. you saw the opportunity and you took it, which is probably your right as chan's partner to tease him the same way all his friends do. "hey," he looks at you. "can i have a dumpling?"
you're already pushing the tray over for him to take one. "of course, pookie."
chan's already sputtering in shock, watching as vernon takes a dumpling from your lunch. "pookie?!"
"our boo, do you want one, too?" you slide to toward seungkwan, who gladly accepts one and thanks you for it. you pull the tray back to yourself, picking up the last dumpling with your chopsticks.
chan's just staring you down like a kicked puppy. "honey..." he pouts. "my love...?"
you think you break a little too easily when it comes to chan. you extend your chopsticks to him instead. "fine, my dumpling," you roll your eyes playfully. "if you insist." yet the moment he sinks his teeth into it, you speak up again. "but you have to buy me more, then."
chan's smile falls slightly, but he's already getting up again to make a beeline toward the stall. he hears the way you laugh, so content with getting to mess with him just a little, but he doesn't mind it. not when it's you.

Worth A Shot Pairing: Lee Chan x Fem!Reader Tags: >1k words, drabble, humor, feat svt besties. Warnings: alcohol & language. Hoshi is drunk and hilarious to everyone but Seungkwan, per usual. Â Summary: The Mansae hair was bad. Admit it. Iâm looking at you @dinoshiiâ. Stop defending it.

Youâre not even sure how the conversation began.Â
Perhaps it was when Seungkwan broke out the high school yearbook. Perhaps it was when Seokmin poured another round of shots because Soonyoung drunkenly demanded, âAnother round for me and the whole bar!â, even though you were sitting in the middle of Jeonghan and Joshuaâs living room, huddled on and around two very small couches and an old spread out futon.Â
One minute there is light laughter and peaceful conversation and the next minute, all out chaos.Â
As per usual, your boyfriend Chan is fighting for his life. âIt was not even that bad!â
Keep reading
concealed zippers - lc

title: concealed zippers pairing: lee chan x f!reader genre: smut (minors dni!), bestfriend!chan warnings: pining, teasing, sexual comments, explicit sex, fingering, oral (m. receiving), chan and reader are soft for each other w.c.: 3.4k summary: you ask your best friend to zip your dress up a/n: this actually wasnât based off of taylor swiftâs song dress but it came on when i was writing this and it was too perfect

âChan!â
The calling of his name grabs his attention from where heâs looking at his phone. The dancer is waiting in your apartment living room waiting for you to finish getting ready. Chan is your date tonight to an event hosted by your work company. Itâs some charity ball thing and if it wasnât already obvious Chan doesnât know much about it. The only reason heâs going is for free food (and because heâs a simp for you but heâs not going to admit that one out loud).
âWhat? Are you okay?â Chan walks to your bedroom door and stands outside of it.
âI need help!â Your panicked tone alerts Chan and heâs throwing your door open only for him to stop in his tracks. There you are, standing in the middle of your room, with your whole back exposed.
He takes a moment to look all of you over. You have on your favorite pair of black strappy heels that you keep wearing despite them always hurting your feet. He can see the way your wrists, ears, and neck are adorned with silver jewelry. Your hair is already all dolled up and heâs sure you already have all of your makeup on as well. These are all common things when you guys dress up together, no what catches his attention is your dress. Wrapped around your body is a maroon satin dress that hugs your hips a little too well. It doesnât go past the middle of your thighs and only has little straps to hold it up.
Your smooth back is tantalizing to Chan and it takes everything in him not to walk up to you and start kissing up the exposed skin.Â
âCan you zip me up?â The tone of your voice has switched to soft and shy and you look over your shoulder to look your best friend in the eye. âItâs a new dress so Iâve never worn it before. I didnât realize the zipper was so small and hard to reach.â Chan licks his lips and only nods.
Nobody knows this besides maybe Vernon and Soonyoung but Chan has been madly in love with you for like two years now. Chanâs hands shake a bit as he reaches for the small zipper that sits at the small of your back, right above your butt. Itâs one of the small oval zippers that are used on concealed zippers to hide inside of the dress. Heâs about to grab the zipper but stops himself and quickly switches his demeanor.
Instead of taking the zipper between his fingers, he slides his hands against your skin and into your dress so he grabs at your bare waist. His fingers are so close to touching the swell of your breasts and your breath hitches a bit at the contact.
Chan leans in so his mouth is right by your ear. You can feel his breath against your neck as he whispers, âAre you sure you want me to zip it up? Why donât we just skip this whole event and I take the dress off of you all together.â
It isnât uncommon for Chan to act like this with you, flirty and sexual and pushing boundaries. Itâs always played off as a joke and just Chanâs nature towards you due to your comfort and intimacy with one another, but you donât know that Chan truly means it, and Chan doesnât know that his words always leave you wanting more.
âCâmon Chan we have to get going soon. Please just zip my dress up?â Chan mistakes the breathiness in your voice for exasperation instead of desire and quickly snakes his hands back out of your dress. You have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from whining at the loss of his touch. You know heâs only joking but you wish he meant it so badly. Your pussy is already damp just from thinking about his words and you want nothing but for him to rip your dress off and ravage you.
âOf course, princess.â
God that stupid nickname he insists on calling you. More a part of the game he plays with you. Teasing you with a smirk while you slowly die inside over it.Â
Unbeknownst to you Chan is mentally freaking out. Why did he do that? You probably think heâs some kind of pervert now. He pushed it too far this time and he still has to zip your dress up. Chan does his best not to fumble as he actually grabs the zipper this time. He pulls the small maroon plastic piece up your back, his knuckles caressing against your warm skin as he does, and for some reason this touch seems even more sensual and intimate than the previous one.
Shivers are sent down your spine as Chanâs skin brushes yours. The feeling is gone far too soon for your liking as he finally pulls the zipper all the way into place. He even takes the time to tuck the zipper into the folds of the dress so itâs fully concealed the way itâs supposed to be. His hands run down your sides and rest on your waist. The fabric is thin and he can feel your body heat radiating up into his palms. You silently wish that the red fabric was gone so you could feel Chanâs hands on your bare body.
âBeautiful as always, princess. Ready to go now?â
You only nod and Chan pulls away again and you have to take a moment to catch your breath before you follow him out of the room.
Your dress is driving Chan crazy. The front has a cowl neck so it frames your boobs just perfectly with just enough cleavage to be considered teasing and not sleazy. The skirt keeps riding up your thighs and you have to keep pulling it back down and Chan watches every time as you tug the skirt down your legs that Chan so badly wants to be between. As you guys walk around the event Chan keeps a firm hand on your waist and as much as he loves the feel of the smooth material under his hand, he wishes that he could touch you under it as well.
As expected by the time the night is coming to a close Chan is practically supporting all of your weight because your shoes are hurting your feet so bad. You havenât complained to him about it yet but he can tell just by the way you lean into him and continue to shift around.
âCome on princess, letâs get you home.â
When you get to your apartment your feet are throbbing but you donât want to complain to Chan. You donât have to though, because before youâre even able to get out of the car heâs opening your door and scooping you up into his arms.
âC-chan! What are you doing?â
âShush, I know your feet are killing you. Let me help.â You wrap your arms around his neck as he carries you into your apartment.
Your heart is hammering out of your chest and you hope he canât feel it. You know heâs strong but you didnât know he was this strong.
Inside Chanâs own head heâs trying his best to think pure thoughts, but all he can really think about is the way your thighs are pressing against his arm and the way his hand is just barely brushing the side of your breast. Speaking of, your breasts are nearly in his face with the way your arms are wrapped around him and Chan has to make sure he doesnât look down at you because then heâll be looking down your whole dress and he doesnât want to pop a boner while heâs trying to just bring you to your apartment.
When Chan gets to your apartment he lets you down gently and you grip onto his forearm as you reach down to take off your shoes. You throw them to the side as you walk over to your bedroom. When you bent down to take off your shoes your dress rode up again, but this time you donât bother to fix it. Chan gulps thickly as he watches you way away, your dress pulled up so far he can see all of your thighs on display.
âHey Chan? Can you help unzip my dress?â You call for him once again.
Chanâs dick stirs around at just the thought of him unzipping your dress. He walks into your room where your back is already turned to him. Chan slowly walks up to you and grabs at the zipper again and slowly drags it down until it canât go further, exposing your back once again.
Without even thinking Chanâs hand trails up your back, caressing your soft skin.
âChanâŠâ
âPrincess?â
âTell me you donât want this.â You slip the straps of your dress down your shoulder but hold the front of your dress to your breasts so you donât fully expose yourself.
âFuck.â Thatâs all Chan says before heâs on you. His lips attach themself to your neck as his hands reach around you to pull your hands away from yourself. The dress slips down your body and onto the floor and you shiver not only from the cold air hitting your nipples, but also from the way Chan sucks a hickey into your neck.
Chanâs hands move to knead at your breasts and you moan at the feeling of finally having him touch you. âChannie~â
âIâve wanted you for so long.â Chan is picking you up again, only this time itâs to throw you onto your bed. He takes in the sight of you as his dick twitches. Youâre looking up at him with the sweetest bedroom eyes with your perky tits on display, the only thing covering you being your thin black lace panties. âShit Y/N, youâre beautiful.â
He leans down to kiss you and you finally understand all of the cheesy fireworks analogies that romance novels talk about. Everything just feels right when you kiss him. Your lips slot together perfectly and he kisses you tenderly yet passionately.
The moment he pulls away you miss the feeling of his lips on yours but you donât mind that much when his mouth then moves to your right tit. You bring your hands up to grab at his hair, carding your fingers through the dark locks. After a few more licks, he moves to press open mouthed kisses onto your left breast. You mewl as you feel him roll your nipple between his teeth. He chuckles at this a bit.Â
Desperate to speed up the pace of things, your fingers fumble with the buttonâs on Chanâs shirt. Youâre close to just ripping the fabric off of him but Chan senses your impatience and swiftly unbuttons and sheds the shirt.
Your skin tingles at the way Chanâs warm, bare body presses against yours. His hand kneads at your waist as he starts to press playful kisses into your neck.
âChan please,â you beg in a low voice.
âPlease what princess?â
âI need you. Need you to touch me. Touch me here.â You grab his hand and slowly trail it down to in between your legs. Chan groans as he feels the way your panties are already damp. His fingers find your clit and he teases it slightly. Your body jolts at his touch and you whine as you feel your core get even wetter.
âOh shit. Baby youâre so fucking wet for me.â Chan reaches down into your panties and the pads of his fingers trail your slit, smearing your slick all over your folds. You squirm around in the bed, praying that Chan will just get on with it, but he doesnât of course. He slowly circles your clit, your arousal spreading across your clit as well.
âChan please, I need you to finger me.â
âAh good girl, using her words, asking so nicely.â Chan is playful with his words but mentally heâs dying to get his fingers inside of you. Heâs not sure how much longer he can keep up the teasing dominant act before he fully breaks character.
Your hips buck up and you let out a high pitched squeal when Chanâs finger slips into your hole. He barely thrusts into you twice before heâs already adding another finger, muttering about how pliant your pussy is to his fingers.
âC-chan wait,â you call out, your voice coming out in between pants. Automatically Chan stops and pulls his fingers out of you.
âWhatâs wrong? Are you okay?â
âYeah just, uh,â you flush red, âI want to suck your dick as well.â
âOh.â Chanâs face also turns red. âY-yeah, okay.â
You two shift around on the bed so Chan can lean against the headrest. Your face is by his lap, the rest of your body curled up next to you so Chan can still reach to finger you. His fingers easily penetrate you again as you start to palm at him through his dress pants. His cock is already hard and straining to be freed from the fabric.
You fiddle with the buttons and zipper until they come undone and youâre able to reach inside his pants and boxers to grab at his dick. You pull out the hard member and swallow at the sight of how thick it is. Itâs average in length but the sheer girth of his dick makes your head spin, your hand barely able to fit around it.
As your hands paw at Chanâs pants he lifts his hips so youâre able to pull the garments down his legs and onto the floor. You do your best to fist him in your hand, pumping a few times. Chan breath stutters as you do and a bit of precum starts to leak out of his cock. You lean down to lick it up, running your tongue against the slit of his cock. Chanâs fingers piston into you harder as you continue to lick at Chanâs tip. You pucker your lips and suck the whole head into your mouth, your tongue swirling it around as you do.
âShit princess, youâre making me feel so good.â
You respond by mumbling around his cock which does nothing but pleasure Chan even more, the vibration shooting right into his dick. You open your throat as you bob your head up and down, taking his whole length into you as you press your tongue against him. Heâs so thick he can barely fit into your small mouth and Chan tries his best not to buck up into you.
Chan has three fingers buried into you now, curling up into your sweet spot. Your hips are grinding against his hand to try and gain friction against your clit because youâre just so close. Right as you feel your orgasm coming on you pull off Chanâs cock to tell him. Itâs barely a second later that youâre clenching down in his fingers and cumming. You press kisses against his dick as your hand works to play with his tip. Itâs enough stimulation to get Chan to cum as well, if the sight of you cumming on his finger wasnât enough alone.Â
Afterward you both take time to catch your breaths. Youâre still turned on though and want more. You force yourself to sit up so you can crawl into Chanâs lap. You pull him into a searing kiss that he reciprocates hungrily.
Your kiss deeps as Chan palms at your ass cheeks. His hands are rough as the grope you, pulling your body into his. Your mouths clash against each other like hungry men who are experiencing their last meal, trying to remember what it tastes like. You grind your bare cunt against Chanâs cock and he involuntarily bucks his hips up against yours. His dick is still hard even though heâs cum once already. You whimper as the way his cock drags against your puffy lips.
Chan reaches around between your thighs and rubs at your entrance. You donât think you can take anymore teasing and you whine. âChannie please, please fuck me. Want you to fill me up with your hot, thick cock.â You know you probably sound like a porn store right now but you canât bring yourself to care, too needy for your best friendâs cock.
âI know princess, I know,â Chan coos as you as he kisses at your jaw. âFuck do you have any rubbers?â
You nod and reach over into your nightstand drawer to pull out a little square packet. Your hands are shaking too much to open it though and Chan swipes it out from between your fingers and opens it before diligently rolling it onto himself. After heâs fully protected, one of his hands holds your hips steady as he lines himself up to your opening. Still guiding your hips, he helps you slowly sink down onto his cock. The stretch is tight, tighter than anything else thatâs ever been inside of you, and your legs are already shaking by the time heâs all the way into you down to his hilt.
Chanâs breath is raggedy as he stares at the area between your thighs. Your pussy has a vice grip on his cock and he can see the way he disappears into you completely, your chubby pussy lips wrapped around him.
âDo you feel good baby? Anything hurt?â
âN-no. N-need Ch-Channie tâmove,â you slur out, already a bit drunk on his cock. Chanâs mind isnât too far off as his brain is flooded with only thoughts of your pretty pussy.
Chan wraps his arms around your waist and starts to move his hips up and down, his cock sliding in and out of you. He helps your body start to bounce on his cock to meet his thrusts. Your hands bury into Chanâs hair again and you grip hard. Chan doesnât reprimand you though, enjoying the way your fingernails dig into his scalp.
Chanâs mouth is the perfect level to press kisses into your collar bones. His tongue runs along your neck and chest, nipping here and there as it does. In this moment Chan already knows that he will never get tired of the high pitches keens you keep letting out.
Too soon Chan feels his balls tightening but he wonât allow himself to cum until you do. He drags a hand up and down your side a couple of times before he brings it down to touch your clit. You gasp as he does and it only takes a couple of jerks of his fingers before your pussy is clenching him tight. You yank his hair, pulling his head back, as you moan loudly. Chan pulls your face down into his so he can kiss you as you let yourself climax. Your pussy is pulsating against his cock as you do and Chan is bucking up into you at a brutal pace, chasing his own release. His cum spurts into the condom as your lips mash together and low moans escape your throats.
After you finally come down from your high, Chan's hips come to a stop inside of you and you slump against him, resting your head against his shoulder. You mouth at his neck a bit and his fingers run up and down your back, both of you two too blissfully fucked out to do anything else.
Eventually Chan is lifting you up to gently pull out of you so he can take off the condom and tie it off. You laze sleepily on the bed, watching Chan clean himself off before he moves to clean you up as well. He presses soft, loving kisses against your skin as he does before heâs fully crawling back into bed with you, scooping you up in his arms.
âDoes this mean you're my boyfriend now?â You ask in a small voice.
âYep, and youâre never getting rid of me,â Chan mutters into your hair, where his face is buried.
âIâve been dreaming of this moment forever,â you say out loud, just talking to the air. âHeh, all it took was a measly little zipper huh?â
âOh god the zipper,â Chan groans. âYou were killing me all night in that dress princess. Was so ready to just rip it off you and take you right there.â
âFuck Chan. I canât believe youâre really mine now.â
âAll yours baby, and Iâll zip, and unzip, any dress you want me to.â You can feel him grinning and you find a small small work itâs way onto your face as well. You know that the next time you ask him to zip up your dress, you wonât be making it to the event.Â
april 20th: pot luck

member | fwb!chan x f reader genre | smut, fwb to lovers word count | 3.2k synopsis | you're no stranger to smoking in the park on 4/20, but smoking in the park while chan begs you to let him make you cum? that's new. content warnings | marijuana use (smoking), there's angst for like 3 seconds but not really smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, oral (reader receiving), fingering, sexual acts in a semi-public setting (they're in a secluded area of a park), sexual acts while high, shotgunning, chan is clingy & cute when he's high :) disclaimer | this story is a work of fiction. both chan and reader are portrayed as consenting adults above the legal age of 21. always make sure your partner is someone you trust and have talked with beforehand while sober. remember to practice safe, consensual sex! notes | requested by @angelwoozi đ§ž!! this concept is going to sit in my brain forever now agsdjkfahsd i hope you like it! also tagging @bitchlessdino because it would be a sin if i didn't. happy 420!

you hold the pre-rolled joint between your fingers, watching the way the thin smoke spirals off the end of it. chan holds out his hand as you exhale, and you pass it back to him for him to take his turn.
it's the secluded end of the park, where the trees are thicker and shadier and the grass is always a little bit damp, even during hot summer afternoons. a cool breeze blows today, and distantly you can hear birds chirping and the shuffling footfalls of joggers making their way around the park's running paths.
you lay back, settling down on top of the worn, quilted picnic blanket you keep in your car. for the first time in a while the weather's been nice enough to draw you outside, spring gradually melting into summer.
he holds the joint out towards you but you wave him off, so he sets it at the edge of his ashtray, the little yellow painted one you made him for his birthday in a ceramics class from a few semesters ago.
chan leans back too, propping himself up on one elbow as he reaches for his water bottle absently.
laying on your back, you can see each leaf on the tree, and when the wind blows you can see bits of blue sky peeking through the swaying branches. you hear chan call your name, but you ignore him, just wanting to watch the world go by for a moment. or maybe, you just pretended to hear him call your name. you seem to do that a lot recently, imagining him doing things until you aren't sure what's real or dreamed.
ever since new year's eve when you accidentally on-purpose slept with him and then maybe kept sleeping with him for months afterward, nothing's been the same. despite the fact that you definitely like him as more than just a friend you have sex with, youâve never talked about it with him because he seems more than fine with keeping things simple; you wish he didnât, but you donât want to push him, so you just stick to having sex and sharing your weed.
it turns out him calling your name was, in fact, real, because a few seconds later you see his figure looming over you, blocking your view of the leaves and the sky.
your words come out lilted. "what is it, chan?"
"can i eat you out?"
you blink slowly a few times, thinking and processing his sentence and repeating it in your head so many times until you'd forgotten what he'd actually said.
"eating what? we had tacos earlier. iâll make you a sandwich or something when we go back, i told you you shouldâve brought more snacks to munch on."
ânoooooo.â he whines and flops down onto the blanket on his side. "wanna eat you," he grumbles. his fingers find your arm and begin drawing shapes and patterns along your skin as he waits for your response.
it finally clicks in your mind what he's asking, and with much effort you roll your head over to look at him. "why?"
"because it's a nice day outside," he says, fingers trailing down to your wrist. "and i like it. oh my god, you're so hot. like⊠woah. why wouldn't i want to?"
your heart jumps, and you can't tell if it's completely from his words or mixed with how stoned you are, but you feel so happy. he sounds almost affectionate.
you shift your legs, your pants starting to grow uncomfortable the more you begin to think about chan between your thighs. it's a sight you're familiar with, but one you can never quite seem to get used to.
you throw your arm over your head, tugging gently at the cool grass beneath your fingertips to ground you to earth. "but there's sooo many people out, chan," you say, a little more giddy than you intend. "youâre too high. somebody'll see."
he closes his eyes slowly and furrows his brow, thinking deeply.
"put your bag here, then," he says finally, rolling over onto his stomach to grab your tote bag from the edge of the blanket and haul it over to your hip. it was a good idea in theory, but in reality it barely covers a tiny part of your body, and it would only be effective at blocking his head from onlookers at a very specific angle.
his fingers brush over your thigh on accident, and you sigh, legs parting just slightly. chan doesn't seem to notice, though; he's latched himself to your arm again, tracing his name across your skin over and over like a kindergartener learning to write their name for the first time.
"you really want to?" you ask, peering over at him through foggy eyes but grinning when you see him now focused on the tiny hairs on your arm.
"yes, please," he hums, and he starts kissing the inside of your elbow along your forearm. his lips are warm and so, so soft, it feels like rays of sunshine tickling your skin. until he opens his mouth and he starts gnawing on you, biting gently at your arm.
you swat at the back of his head, and then once more, laughing at how silly he is. silly feels like the right word. silly how cute he is and silly how maybe you're a little bit in love with him.
"oka-ay," you say finally, tugging on his hair to get him to stop biting you. he rests his head on your stomach and gazes up at you with big, soft eyes, and you know there's nothing going on in his head right now. honestly, there's not much going on in yours either, but there's enough happening up there to know better than to not let him have what he wants.
you pull the bag closer to yourself and lift your hips, shifting your pants down just enough to expose the top of your thighs.
"don't let anybody seeâ" you start to say, but chan is already diving in. he shimmies down your body, positioning himself between your legs so that it would look like he's merely resting on top of you if anyone passing by were to steal a quick glance.
in your present state of mind, neither of you are quite as sneaky as you probably think. you can only pray no one walking around the park is paying much attention to their surroundings, though your spot is far enough away from the main paths that someone would have to be intentionally looking in order to find you.
one thing you know for sure is that chan is a messy eater. in the privacy of his apartment (or occasionally, yours) he'll spend hours between your legs, making out with your pussy until you're so exhausted and overstimulated that just the thought of another orgasm makes you shudder. usually he doesn't go that far, because at the end of it all he still wants to have his cock inside of you, but that doesn't ever stop him from making a complete mess of you anyways.
but to your surprise, when he kisses you over your underwear before pulling them down your hips, his lips are slow and gentle, like wading through water. you feel his fingers kneading your waist, and you realize belatedly that you've been tensed up. you'd been preparing for a fast, rough onslaught of pleasure but clearly chan has other plans today: taking his sweet time with you. and with how fuzzy your head feels right now, going slow is more than fine by you.
he flicks at your clit, laying his tongue flat and smoothing it over every inch of you before flicking again, and subconsciously you angle your hips upward, chasing his mouth. his spit covers your cunt, and when he moves his head back you can feel the breeze cooling the heat between your legs, sending a shiver up and down your spine.
you hear a shrill scream from behind you, and you tilt your neck back to see where the noise came from. upside down, you can see two kids distantly running around in the grass, playing a game.
you yank chan up by the back of his collar and pull your pants up as far as they'll go, ignoring the insane wedgie you've just given yourself as you scramble to look like you havenât been doing anything suspicious.
you stay on your back, craning your head around to look at your surroundings. once youâre certain nobodyâs around, your eyes settle on chan, whoâs staring blankly back at you. his face glistens in the sunlight from the amount of wetness all over his face that he doesn't even seem to be aware of.
"wipe your mouth," you try to scold him, but the whole situation is suddenly so funny you can't help the laugh that comes out instead.
chan sits up, a little disoriented at first but he pushes through the clouds in his mind and finally brings his hand up to his face, swiping at his mouth once with the back of his hand. he looks around and he spies the ashtray with the half-smoked joint still sitting in it, and with a lazy grin he leans over to grab it, fumbling with his lighter to reignite it.
he takes a long, slow hit, and you're surprised he's not more out of breath from just having his face shoved in your pussy for what seemed like eternity.
he holds it out to you with a little grunt, and you finally find the energy to prop yourself up onto your elbows to take it from him. you inhale then breathe out a fine cloud of smoke as you pass it back to him, and he sets it back down, giggling to himself.
you smile, his laughter contagious with your already content mood. "what're you laughing at?"
he rolls his head around in a circle, staring off into the distance with a dopey grin on his face. "i⊠dunno," he answers finally, and he looks back at you, his eyes full of emotion you can't really understand fully.
"well, you almost got us caught, dummy," you tell him, an involuntary pout forming on your lips as you lay back down. "if you wanna have sex we should just go back to your apartment now."
"i don't want to," he whines, and you frown at him. he opens his mouth, stops and closes it again, then finally speaks, seemingly having gathered all his words together in the right order. "of course i always wanna have sex with you but right now i wanna make you cum first. like, right now, right now." he looks over at you again with those big, stupid, pretty eyes of his. "ple-ease?"
"but somebody might see again, channie. you can make me cum at home."
he shakes his head slowly. "but we still have to finish this, anyway," he protests, pointing at what's left of the joint.
you lose focus and stare off at the trees again, knowing he's right. you'll have to stay until it's out, then clean up your blanket and put away your stash, so it's not like you were gonna get home anytime soon then, right?
he turns towards you suddenly, his mouth half open like he's just thought of something crazy. he carefully transfers the joint to your hand, wrapping your fingers around the end of it. "how about i finger you, and you can hold this for me until you cum, and then we finish it and we go home and fuck. holding two birds with one stone."
you glance around, hoping nobody heard him loudly exclaim that he wants to finger you. you think about telling him to keep it down, or at least correct his attempt at a metaphor, but the words feel like too much effort and you're still weary from the almost-orgasm just a few minutes ago.
you stare at the object he had put in your hand for a second before you decide to take a drag, putting your other hand on chan's neck to pull him close so you can exhale the smoke into his lips.
clearly he wasn't expecting it, and he coughs a couple times, but he recovers and immediately goes in to kiss you again. he kisses you for so long it feels like he's never going to pull away, and when you do finally let go for a second it seems like he isn't even breathing.
he just sighs dreamily, his eyes still closed. "i love kissing you," he says, and the way he says it makes it sound so important.
you elbow him in the chest lightly to get his attention, and he lets out a little "oof!" and opens his eyes.
"hurry up so we can go home. i wanna suck your dick," you say, clearly deciding to let him have his way as you push your pants down once more.
his hand slides over your body, and the way he smiles when his two fingers make contact with your pussy gives you goosebumps. his touch feels heavenly, and you have to put all your focus on holding the joint upright so you donât accidentally drop it. but itâs so hard to stay focused when you can feel his fingers so deep inside you, moving in and out and curling and scissoring and it drives you crazy.
at least in this new position, itâs not as obvious what youâre doing. with shaky hands you take another hit, a bigger one this time, trying to finish it as fast as you can so you can go home and not have to worry about being seen.
chan pushes a third finger into you and you hold back a whimper, wrinkling your nose in pleasure.
he opens and closes his mouth at you, and thereâs a few seconds before your brain catches up and you realize he wants you to help him smoke while his hands are occupied. you carefully hold the joint up to his mouth and he wraps his lips around it.
the sight of him laying on his side, his hand cupping your cunt as you act like his personal helper is hotter than you expect it to be, and you clench around his fingers, heat burning in your abdomen.
he sucks in a sharp breath and leans his head away from your hand to cough again. âare youâ close?â he asks once heâs recovered, his tone almost pouty. âyouâre squeezing my hand so hard and now my dick hurts because i imagined fucking you instead.â
you sigh, leaning your head back against the blanket and letting your eyes close again, your hand propped up in the air. âyeah⊠i reeally wanna fuck you.â
he pries the joint out of your hand to take a hit by himself, then puts it back in your grip and moves his other hand to massage your breast over your shirt. you whine, not expecting it, and buck your hips up.
âfuck, chanâ faster, please,â you mumble, your head swimming.
he puts his thumb to your clit and presses down, his fingers moving more roughly inside of you to draw you closer and closer. after a while you open your eyes, and you find him staring at you with such a sweet, empty look on his face, it makes you want to kiss him forever.
you pull him down on top of you and push your lips against his. your teeth clack with his but you donât care, because you feel too good everywhere else to even pay attention to one little bad thing.
just like the way chan eats you out, heâs messy when he kisses you, and even more so when heâs high. you can taste yourself on his tongue and it makes you whine into him, the rest of the world falling away so that the only two people who exist in the entire world are you and him.
without warning you feel familiar waves wash over you and you practically go limp under him as your orgasm knocks the breath out of your lungs. he stills his fingers inside of you but continues to pet at your clit with his thumb as your walls spasm and contract around him.
when you start to regain some of whatâs left of your senses you grab his hand to stop him, pulling him out of your aching pussy. he sighs and pushes his face into your chest, humming against your boobs.
caught up in the moment you hadnât noticed when youâd dropped the joint, but luckily there was a god or some being out there in the universe that was on your side, because youâd dropped it directly onto the ashtray and not the blanket or the grass.
chan sits up and folds his legs cross-legged as he lights it one more time and hands it to you. thereâs not much left of it by now, so it doesnât take long for you both to finish it. your clothes stink of smoke and youâre a lot clumsier than usual, but youâre more content than youâve been in a long time.
itâs not the first time youâve had sex with him while high, but something feels different this time. maybe it was the way he clung to your arm walking back to his apartment, giggling with glee about how he couldnât wait to have you all to himself. but it was probably more the fact that he told you he loved you right after you came and then proceeded to beg you to let him kiss you again.
of course you let him, your heart and your head soaring as you laid in the grass, casually making out for at least a quarter of an hour. you were in no rush to be anywhere, especially not when you had everything you wanted right here. and it seemed like he had everything he wanted, too: when you finally started to pack up your things to leave, heâd panickedly asked if you would stay with him.
âof course iâm staying,â you laughed, pushing him off of the blanket so you could fold it and put it away. âarenât we going back to your place?â
âyeah, we are,â he said shyly, plucking a dandelion from the grass. âi meant like⊠all the time. i donât wanna do this anymore.â
you looked at him, suddenly scared and a little confused at the sudden change from how excited heâd just been. ââŠyou donât want us anymore?â
he shook his head. âno, i want you! serious, like boyfriend and girlfriend! i want us to be us.â you donât immediately respond, and he frowned.âyou donât want to?â
your eyes softened. âi do want to,â you smiled, crawling over to him to cup his cheeks in your hands. âi want to, very much.â
it would be a while before you finally made it back to chanâs apartment, but it was worth the wait. everything was worth the wait.
next year, when you sat in the same spot at the same park to spend your anniversary together, you joked that he had waited until april 20th to make it official because heâd wanted your anniversary to be on a funny date. but really you didnât mind, because it just gave you more reasons to celebrate.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it lets me know this is something people want to see more of and it helps a ton with being motivated to write. thanks for reading!!
> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @just-here-to-read-01 @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @jwnghyuns
>Â strikethrough means your blog cannot be tagged, please check your visibility settings
>Â if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!
size matters âą l.c.

Pairing: lee chan x afab!reader Genres: major smut (minors PLS dni!), losers + idiots + besties to lovers Warnings: *deep breath* MONSTER COCK CHAN, swearing, love me some switch action, reader does not use specified pronouns but refers to their pussy as "she", reader also wears a skirt, pet names, alcohol and goofy drunk antics, bad humor, use of "whore/slut", tons of dirty talk, they're kinda pervs, mentions of toys, masturbation (fem), hints to past sexual partners, mentions of oral (male), actual oral (fem. receiving), car sex (kind of), condoms, fingering (fem. receiving), WAP lmao and squirting, bantering, degradation, wee bit praise, unprotected/protected MESSY sex, underwear play (??? lmao), precum play (??), edging, face-riding, groping/manhandling, objectification, reverse cowgirl position, bulge kink, slapping/spanking, possession, almost choking, biting, tears and crying, a bit of overstim and if i missed smth lmk sdfjkajdf WC: 8.3k A/N: this started out purely self-indulgent as usual and reads like a bad pornhwa but it's also nana month so a happy early birthday to @bitchlessdino because i will be asleep when the clock actually strikes 12 tomorrow! and bc i will dedicate all chan content to the loml! this is like my 3rd longest fic on this blog and 4th longest fic ever and it's just utter filth and smut... hate it here. i always get into a crazy headspace when i write for this man. i hope y'all enjoy my delusions before i retire out of shame đŹ

"I'm worried my dick's too big."
Laughter bubbles in your chest at the same time the beer you'd just taken a swig of swishes around in your mouth. It's so like your best friend to say something stupid. Especially when your mouth is full.
He frowns in mild annoyance as you rock back and forth with mirth, struggling not to spit out your drink and make a mess. But also trying to refrain from choking. Because if you die, you sure as hell will find a way to make sure everyone knows that a dumbo and his terrible concern over having a big cock drove you to your demise in such an unfortunate manner.
And no one wants that.
"I dunno what's so funny," the man in question irritably gripes, "but for god's sake, calm down and swallow."
Though it ends up that Chan is the one gulping first. Ears burning and eyes widening when you wiggle your brows deviously and do as he says. Sticking your tongue out for good measure â just for proof that yes, you did swallow â but he's quickly whipping his gaze away. Head turning to the side as if that does anything to hide the embarrassing look overtaking his expression.Â
He thinks you'll back off, hoping the nervous twiddling of his fingers will deter further teasing. But he should really know better. The telltale signs are littered across the table in front of him and even overpower your usual sweet scent when you lean close into his personal space.
"So, you like it when someone swallows versus spits for you, Channie?"
"You're drunk."
"So are you."Â
Because that's what happens every movie night. The two of you enjoy too many beers after a feel-good show and start talking nonsense.
"Yeah, and we're having a very serious conversation right now. A drunk one. But still, serious."
You purse your lips. "You're bluffing. No way you're complaining about the hugeness of your dick. 'Cause no one does that."
"It's not like I'm trying to boast or even insecure, I'm just worried."
"Worried about what?" you snort and push at his shoulder. "There'd be no reason to worry if you know how to use it. In the end, size doesn't matter at all."
Chan quirks an eyebrow, side-eyeing you. "At all?"Â
"If your technique is good, it shouldn't matter as long as everyone feels satisfied. You know, you just gotta hit that one spotâŠ"Â
You start doing hand motions to demonstrate your point that seem wildly inappropriate and are honestly so drunkenly uncoordinated to the point that Chan not only feels compelled to stop you but doubts anyone would feel good from that. Then again, he's never really managed to partake in sloppy sex, so who knows?Â
He grabs your hands to still them and though you no longer move, you protest. "What? You'll have 'em seeing and feeling stars! To be honest⊠you prolly will too if ya try your best."
"You know, I do know how to pleasure someone. It's not really an issue once I'm inside, it's just getting there that's kind of a problem."
"Channie, are you secretly a virgin?" You lay your head on his shoulder, hand running down his forearm and weaving your fingers between his. "Issokay if you are."
"You know I'm not!"
"Well, yeah I guess you're a bit of a whore. Still love you no matter what."
Chan chokes out your name in frustration. "All I'm saying is that I have a huge cock and I'm sad about it!"
"And you keep saying I'm drunk. Look, you're valid in being⊠upset about having a fat dick even if I don't understand. Just telling you that sometimes a ton of prep is helpful and even a decent amount of lube. No shame in that. Not everyone's built to take a large-ass, whopping cock." And then you mumble extremely quietly, "If it's even that big."
Unfortunately, he hears you and scoffs. Popping his shoulder up to gently shove you off him. Though that only causes you to grasp for his sweatpant-clad thigh and hold onto it for dear support in your half-drunken stupor. The perverted part of both your brains flash to your hand squeezing tightly around something else; the unmistakable heat of said something else radiating towards the closest part of your hand and causing a hot rush to flare across your entire body.
Or maybe that's just the alcohol.
Doesn't stop you from shamelessly ogling what you can only presume to be his bulge, gray fabric stretched over his groin and straining against muscular thighs.Â
"Are you flaccid right now?"
"What's it to you?"
"Just curious. Thinking about my different dildo sizes."
He balks at that. "Pl-please don't."
"Yeah, not sure I wanna compare what your dick would realistically feel inside me," you admit even if you find it difficult to tear your hungry eyes away to take in Chan's mortified expression.Â
"Can we stop talking about my personal parts now?" he squeaks out and you shoot him a dubious side-eye even though you do easily acquiesce.
"With pleasure. Speaking of whichâŠ"
Chan's hushed groan of "Oh dear" goes ignored even after you drape an arm on the back of the couch behind his head, lay the other across his chest, and splay your legs over his lap. Your lips end up leaving a sticky residue on his cheek, neck, and ear as you graciously whisper your own sex secret â the spontaneous topic of tonight â to him.Â
"Only my bullet vibe has the ability to make me squirt. None of the others, not even the thirteen-inch one with suction ridges. So yeah, hm⊠size doesn't matter, does it Channie?"
"Well, those are toys and uh⊠my big dick is simply what it is. A big, regular human dick. Nothing fancy."
"Then you should try harder."
He apologizes for having such blatant ignorance about the matter and then eventually you end up falling asleep together.Â
Limbs tangled and wrapped around one another just like every other night you doze off with the comfort of the other's body warmth. And like usual, you and Chan peer at each other with eyelids heavy from sleep and goofy but comforting smiles â merely inches apart when the sun's rays sneak a peek through the blinds to shine onto your faces. Because everything's normal and just right between the two of you.Â
Like always.
Except it's not.
All you can think about is your best friend's dumb, gargantuan cock and his weird embarrassment about it. If you didn't know Chan as well as you do, you might think he was just using that as an excuse to get into your pants but you know better. He's genuinely perturbed over his too-big dick!Â
You let out a sigh. Warm breath fans the tip of your ear while large hands lay on your hips, ringed fingers teasing the bare skin revealed by the daring crop top you decided to wear tonight.
"Am I boring you, baby?"
"Kind of," you admit, displeased that you weren't enjoying the usual thrill of grinding on the dancefloor with a hot man. Turning around to face said man, you purse your lips. "How would you feel if you had a big dick, Cheol?"
He raises an eyebrow in the self-assured way only the Choi Seungcheol can. "Shouldn't you be asking what it's like possessing the largest dick of the century?"
"Not helping, I'm not talking about big dick energy."
"That's not what you said when it was shoved halfway down your throat."
"Can't say much if I'm sucking someone off, you dolt. And I said you made my jaw hurt 'cause you're a guy that likes it rough, not 'cause I thought your dick was overly huge."
"Brat," Seungcheol says rather affectionately, "so whose humongous cock are you taking tonight?"
Your eyes wander over his shoulder to the bar, the same place he noticed your gaze strayed towards all night. A glee-filled smirk is on your face when you meet his eyes again though you only casually state with a shrug, "An absolute loser's."
"Wasn't aware it was self-pleasure night, sweetheart," he jokingly snorts, nudging you in that direction before you can get too mad at him. But not without delivering a playful slap on your ass as a 'good luck to charm' to send you on your way. "Go get 'em, Tiger!"
The cocky bastard must think you're after Soonyoung tonight, who greets you by placing a polite kiss on the cheek and a casual side hug. Though he looks hella fine tonight with slicked-back hair and donning the signature head-turning 'leather jacket, silver jewelry' fit that Seungcheol is sporting, he's not who you have in mind.
You squeeze him back though, always ready to return the affection you receive. "Rare to not see you dancing, tough crowd tonight?"
"Nah, I just have my priorities set." He angles his head toward the bartender who sneaks subtle glances at the two of you as if to distinguish what intentions you had approaching such a striking man.Â
That they just so happen to have their eyes on. Luckily Soonyoung does too.
"Ah, well, so do I!"Â
Never one to want to get stuck between two people and cause a potential misunderstanding, you pat him on the arm, wink encouragingly at the bartender, and skip away to find the person who's been occupying your mind for the past few days in a very different way like crazy.
Chan hasn't moved from where you last caught sight of him â in the corner of the bar nursing the same glass of bourbon for far too long. There's distinctly more water in it from the rapidly melting ice ball than alcohol but you still ease it out of his grasp. Taking a sip only to wrinkle your nose in disgust.
Your best friend observes your expression with a bemused one of his own after you hand it back, lip gloss staining the rim. A far cry from the darkened, sultry stare that followed as you moved from one gyrating body to the next. You wonder how you've never noticed it before. But then again, you yourself have never thought about him in that kind of way until now.Â
While momentarily lost in your thoughts, Chan's working on getting the attention of Soonyoung's flirt target to order your favorite drink. But you place a hand on his arm, squeezing the firm muscle beneath your fingertips.Â
"I wanna go home."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just feel like leaving."
He shakes his head. "You looked like you were having a good time."
"Ooh⊠are you jealous?"
"Hah, jealous? No. Concerned that someone did something you didn't like? Yeah."
"There will be," you tug him by the open collar of the flannel he's wearing so you're nose-to-nose, "if he doesn't take me back to his place right now."
His eyebrows raise, eyes widening as they drop down to the pouty curve of your lips. You swear he even peers at your cleavage with the tiniest of squints before finishing what little bit of liquor is left, standing, and pulling you along with him outside.
Walking to his car parked by the sidewalk is truly a breath of fresh air, the chill of the evening breeze and city noises rushing by helps bring Chan back down to earth. No longer on the crazy high fueled by the hypnotic, seductive thrall of the nightclub's booming bass that adds to him being wholly entranced by your teasing allure.Â
Now it's just you and him. Simple as usual, getting ready to drive around.
"You want to go to my place?"
"Yeah."
He starts the engine, checking the side mirror to estimate when there will be an available opening to pull out. "Whaddya wanna do, stop somewhere for snacks?"
"Sure. Maybe condoms too."
"I'm sorry, what?" It's a good thing the car's still in park when his foot stomps on the gas pedal out of shock, revving the engine and making you both jump. "Why?"
Chan even goes as far as to steal a glance over his shoulder at the backseat. As if you had miraculously snuck in someone from the club that you were planning to fuck and he didn't know about it.Â
There's no one there, of course.
"Why⊠are we picking up⊠condoms?" he repeats. "I um, I have a bunch of unopened boxes i-if you need them."
"You do? Good."
"Uh, can you at least let me know how many are used so I don't suddenly run out?"
Your eyebrows raise though he doesn't even dare look at you. "Do you think you'll cum that much?"
"Pardon?! N-no, I only have a surplus because I bought them in bulk!"
"I thought you weren't having sex a lot because you have such a big cock. One that rarely goes inside anyone."
His hands cover his face. "I'm saying it's fine if you want to use them!"
"Gee, thanks. You want me to make condom balloon animals or something?"
One brown eye glares at you between fingers. "⊠If you're into that."
"I bet extra large ones would make brilliant animal balloons but that's a sad waste when they could go around a dick instead. I mean it can't be easy for you to find ones that don't break. Whatever, at least you have a ton. And as you know I'm on the pill."
He has to know. He has to ask. "Are you confused or is it just me?"
"Clearly, because I don't know why you think I'd be into filling condoms with air and not cock."
"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but â I mean like there's no way â but are you implying that you want to⊠you know, with meâŠ?"
"Whaddya mean 'no way'? Fuck yeah, I wanna fuck you! Sorry, was that not clear?"Â
Chan chokes on his saliva and has a brief hacking fit. "No?!"Â
"Damn, uh⊠my bad. Sorry, I thought it was super obvious. Simply put, I can't get the thought of you out of my mind or my pussy, so yeah. We should totally bang. Have sex and all that. Only if you want to obviously. No hard feelings if not."
Oh god, yes he does. Since he now knows that you can squirt, let alone with something as small as a little bullet vibrator, all he can think about is what would happen if he teased your cunt with the thick head of his cock. It's been driving him absolutely feral and fueled a rather ugly feeling when he saw Seungcheol all over you earlier.Â
But now that he knows you want him? Maybe just as much as he wants you? Explicitly?Â
He starts driving in an attempt to help collect himself. You're at ease, able to read him well and know he'll need some time to process and organize his thoughts. So, you wait in silence while he does just that, and when he speaks again his voice is low, laced with utter desire.
"You've been thinking about me?"
"Uh-huh."
"Your pussy has too?"
"Mhm, Channie⊠she's been crying for you like crazy."
"Fuck," he mutters and grips the steering wheel tightly to avoid swerving into the berm. He rasps out in a desperate beg, "C-can you touch yourself for me? Let me hear how loud she is?"
And you sweetly oblige with a hushed, "Of course," and can't lift your miniskirt up faster than you do now, pushing the drenched thong underneath to the side. Your clit's been buzzing nonstop ever since he whined about his big cock and you got to glimpse the outline of it. And with him now sitting beside you as your thumb rubs at the tiny nub, pointer fingers dipping in and out of your clenching hole, you both let out groans â you at the thrilling sensation and him at the insanely filthy sounds.
Chan steals a moment to take in the sight when he switches lanes, loving the way your tongue lolls past glossy lips that part to release little whimpers of pleasure. It's unlikely you'll squirt right now. But there's still a slick sheen of arousal glistening on your thighs so he holds onto the sick twist of hope that a trace will be left behind. He's pleased and licks his lips but has to swiftly pay attention to the road again, especially when your head rolls to the side, eyelashes pleadingly fluttering at him.
He needs to get home fast. Now.
The car fills with the sloppy noises of you playing with your cunt which grows wetter and wetter by the second. The air is heavy and oozes sex, the compact space growing more humid as you work and rile up your pussy, yourself, and the man beside you. You keep easing up to that delicious edge but never fully dipping over it, making sure to continue growing needier and more wanton until the blurry scenery rushing past the windows half-registers as familiar in your already fucked-out state of mind.
"Wanna get a feel of your cock," you whine out with no shame at how pitiful it sounds. "Gotta know how many fingers to stuff inside to stretch myself out for the real thing."
The way he spits out your name like a curse word makes your gummy walls contract tightly, emitting a moist suctioning sound when you pull your fingers out and bully them back in.Â
"No. You have to wait."
"Don't wanna! Been waiting long enough."
"So fuckin' needy," he taunts as if he's not panting heavily with his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. "I don't think they'll come even close to opening up that tiny hole of yours effectively for my dick. But size doesn't matter, so whatever. Right, sweetheart?"
You cuss him out jokingly while working knuckle-deep inside your cunt. Humping against your palm and pulling at your nipples with the other hand underneath your top when he rolls to a stop at an empty four-way in the neighborhood.Â
He swats your arm out and away, curiously sweeping his own fingers across your damp folds that flinch at the sudden contact but still mourn the devastating loss of being filled before he slaps at them. Chan grins like a total heathen at the way your hips jolt upon impact, growing more and more delirious at the way droplets of your arousal splash out at the action.
"If you cum by rubbing yourself on that seat â no hands â before I pull in the driveway, I'll let you touch me to mentally prep yourself before we get inside. Before I get inside you." His words are enunciated with a smirk that drops after bringing soaked fingers to his lips â eyelids fluttering with a grunt at your taste eagerly licked clean with his tongue. "God, do you know how delicious you are? Need you to sit on my face at some point, wanna drown in that sloppy pussy."
His dirty talk could be enough to finish you off, you belatedly realize. The earlier command to rut your aching clit against the scratchy fabric to soothe it makes you thrillingly feel like a depraved whore.Â
"You're a fuckin' perv, Chan," you growl out as if you aren't doing exactly what he asked on instinct and loving how he's talking to you. How good he is at making you feel divine.
"Yeah? But I want something to remember this by."
"Sick," you snarl through gritted teeth like the knowledge of him thinking about this moment every time he gets in his car and looks at the passenger seat isn't getting you off even more. Bonus points if he jerks off to it. You act like it's not the catalyst to you coming undone, blaming it fully on the bump of the asphalt connecting to the concrete driveway hitting your hard nub just right â absolutely defiling his poor car with your arousal. "Sick in the head."
Neither one of you care.Â
In fact, Chan's so pleased he ignores the words you both know you don't mean. Grabbing the hand you buried deep within your hole, but then chose to use it to grip at the console while following his command, and guides it to his mouth. Happily repeating the same thing he did to his own, maintaining eye contact as he tongues at your fingertips. Pupils dilating with how addicted he's become to your taste. Growing more and more eager to have it straight from the source in the very near future.Â
Then he places your spit-coated fingers where his cock strains against dark jeans. A darker, damp spot on the denim signifies how much precum the tip is leaking, begging to be released. He squeezes the hand sandwiched between his and the hardening length, shallowly thrusting up into your palm so you can completely grope at its mouth-watering, jaw-aching girth.Â
"Feel that?" he goads, "that's gonna have to fit inside your tight cunt."
Your eyes nearly cross at the realization. And of course, your pussy forlornly clenches around nothing, dripping out more arousal to add to the already soiled mess beneath you.Â
Oh, you cannot wait.
He wasn't lying, positive every single finger stuffing your hole couldn't compare to the size you just felt beneath those very appendages. Tears collect at your lash line, already anticipating the sheer amount of pleasure you know you'll be feeling with a very warm and real dick. And he's not even anywhere inside of you yet!
Chan coos and wipes the tear that escapes to your cheek. Then he gets out of the car and comes around to the other side to help you walk since your legs are weak and shaking â for more than one reason. That's fine because it gives him almost a weird sense of pride and an excuse to grind and grope at you as he pleases while unlocking the front door. Surprisingly, both of you are giggling together as if you're naughty teens again, always up to no good. It feels strangely wholesome, a light sense of relief blooming and filling your entire body.
Until you're on the other side of the door and those feelings morph back into something carnal. More primal. And Chan must feel it too because you swear he growls when pinning you against the wall.Â
"You'll let me eat you out, right? 'Course you will."Â
Now it's your turn to feel perverse satisfaction, watching as his lip trembles at the very thought of getting denied such a treat. Feeling the man's absolute desperation through the fingertips that dig into your hips and slightly hike up the already ridiculously short skirt you're wearing.
"C'mon bestie, please."
"⊠You did not bestie-zone me right now."
"I â " Chan hesitates and you fear the reality of the situation has hit him. That he'll back out and leave you a yearning mess like this. But then he leans in close to whisper hotly against your ear, "What, you want me to call you something like baby?"
Your hum of consideration encourages him to continue, palms sliding down the sides of your bare thighs and lowering himself at a pace that matches the syllables of each word leaving his mouth. Keeping eye contact with you the whole time as a mischievous smirk lights up his stupidly handsome face.Â
"Darling? Babe? Lovely sweetheart? OrâŠ" His voice gets thicker, more gravelly until he's finally on his knees and peering up at you. "A vixen? Seductress? Little whore? My slut?"
His hands sneak upwards again, pausing when they're hidden under the pleat of your skirt.Â
"Still, you'll always be my dear best friend." He acknowledges and for some reason, it fills you with a comforting sense of reassurance.
And then he waits, hoping â praying â to get your permission.
The coy way you lift up the skirt in no way matches the cute grin you flash at him. Biting your pointer finger as you reveal your pretty pussy for Chan, its puffy lips spread by the continually soaked thong stuck between them. His eyes flick almost nervously away from yours to get a look, letting out a strangled moan at the sight.Â
Automatically drawn like a bee to honey. His heart thumps anxiously when your fingers bury in his bangs to yank at them, halting him just short of being able to stick his tongue out for a taste that he already misses. He whines, fully surrounded by the heady scent of your arousal and unable to feast. But you have something to tell him first.
"You can't make me cum."
"What? Why? Need to stretch â "
"No. I already spent hours practicing with my thirteen-inch, so it'll be fine. We're doing this so you know what the telltale signs are when I'm about to cum when this," you briefly release his hair so manicured nails can pet the outside of your glistening wet cunt, "is wrapped around your dick." You smile when he moans quietly at the revelation and you tug lightly again at silky strands, eager to hear more before you absolutely break him. "And don't you want to see me squirt?"
"God, yes."
You shove his face between your inner thighs. "Then this'll help, baby boy. So, don't you dare let me cum unless it's on your cock."
Chan really can't protest against what you call him and honestly wouldn't want to because that would mean leaving the delectable meal he's finally being allowed to dine on. Though your thong remains in the way, he uses it to his advantage. Sucking all the wetness out of it with a hearty groan of appreciation, pushing it back between your folds, and running his tongue that put it there in zig-zag motions along the sorry excuse for fabric. Then repeating the same motions on either side of the bare supple pussy lips that clench at every nibble, suck, and brush on them.
It isn't very long until he gets frustrated by its restrictions though, feeling outrageous at how jealous he's getting of a piece of cloth that gets to wrap around your cunt all the time. Like you can read his mind, you pull him off with breathless laughter at his inevitable moan of sadness and mumble words of reassurance that you're doing it for his benefit.
He can't really hear with the rush of adrenaline roaring in his ears but he surely sees how you rip the offending thong away. It tears easily, falling apart at its most sodden point. And finally, your pussy is truly bare all for him and he rushes to dive back in. Slurping and sucking at your drenched hole like a dehydrated man finding an oasis in the desert.
Again, Chan's intentions were to leave you weak with the magic his mouth and tongue could work but you don't really allow him. His neck's cranked at an awkward angle as you continue to grip at his hair and smother his lips and tongue with your cunt, sloppy ruts back and forth causing your clit to catch and bump against his nose. He doesn't mind even if he's ninety-nine percent positive this is how you'd get off on one of your toys â no, he definitely has not imagined that â but he's not complaining.
There's something in the way that you're utterly using him like he's nothing but an object for your ultimate pleasure. It has the blood rushing down to swell up his cock even more. And maybe he's willingly happy to do so. Offering his body for your pleasure, making sure to stiffen his tongue so it will hit part of your clit as you move and grind all over his face.Â
It's kinda hot. He also might be enjoying this a little too much.
And just as his eyes roll up for the umpteenth time out of delicious, delirious dizziness, he feels it.Â
The buildup must have been when you started humping his chin shamelessly, slamming down harshly enough that he's sure he'll have bruises to show off. Settling more and more of your weight forward to arch your back, breasts heavy as they follow gravity, and your nipples visibly poke through the crop top's thin material.Â
Your hips jerk up and away a few times, the subtle wiggle in them certainly has your ass jiggling cutely. He also notes how your "ah" moans turn to "mhms", positive you're biting your lip with closed eyes and a pleased grin. By now the hands tangling in his hair have made their way to the back of his head and Chan knows one thing for sure.
You're on the brink of climaxing.
And as much as he wants you to make more of a mess on his face, he's a little afraid of what you might do â or might not do â so he obediently, but regretfully backs away and sinks down to sit on his heels. Pathetic, the way he has to simply watch like a good boy as your slit flutters above him and you release the death grip hold you had on his poor hair.
Once all of your weight is supported by the wall again, you slide down it to plop on the floor. A sheepish grin on your face as you praise him for doing such a great job, reveling in what a sexy, fucked-out look he's wearing â mussed-up hair, swollen lips, and a shiny mix of sweat and arousal decorating his face as his eyes struggle to refocus while he catches his breath.
He embarrassingly thinks you might kiss him when you lean in. Only to jolt with surprise at your hand slipping into his back pocket and he flinches after you squeeze at his well-shaped ass with a naughty giggle.Â
"A souvenir," you murmur in his ear and he feels the spongy ball of your torn thong when he stands like it's a gold coin weighing down his jeans.
"Can't believe you ripped those yourself."
"Can't believe you didn't rip them."
"Didn't wanna ruin them," he admits because he'd honestly feel bad. Though you shoot him a funny look that he doesn't quite understand as he assists your wobbling frame on the walk to the bedroom.
"Dude, you've already ruined so many, what's one more pair?"
"Huh?"
It's amazing how serious you are when you ask, "Don't you remember how wet I've been getting thinking about your dumb cock? Almost ran out of panties to wear."
With that admission, Chan is immediately rushing you down the hallway and has you on his bed at record speed. It's so comical that you have no choice but to once again fall into that giggly headspace like earlier as you help one another strip each other's clothes off.
"God, why are you like this? Such a fucking little tease."
"You love it."
"Hm, yeah," he looks at you with such tenderness, "guess I do."
You verbally agree even as you grab at his wrist before he can throw his boxers to the ground. "Hand 'em over. It's only fair if you have mine," you point out when he raises an eyebrow.
"Someone's full of surprises."
"Well, somebody's loved all of them so I'm sure he'll like this one too."
Though he falls onto his back easily when you push him down, he can't help but raise concern. "I get that you⊠practiced, but wouldn't a better position be with me on top? You'll like â "
"And I get that you liked being used like a dildo, baby boy."Â
You miss the chagrined look that rapidly spreads across Chan's pretty face at the callout. But that's okay because you turn around to throw a leg over and straddle his prone body, staring at your prize of the night â the fattest dick you've been fantasizing about in the flesh.
"Thanks for these, by the way." You send a wink at him over your shoulder, waving the boxers that dangle off your pointer finger. "Need something to bite onto," you add and moan when you deliberately let your tongue meet the salty patch of precum smeared on them before clamping the black cloth between your teeth.
His heavy cock jerks up, already overwhelmed by everything you're doing. His hips follow suit, also lifting once the feeling of your dripping cunt soaks his abs as you sit and press him back against the bed and reach a hand out. He groans, clutching at the blanket when your palm rubs at the sensitive skin. You marvel at how your decently sized fingers fail to fully wrap around the entire girth.
It already weighs a ton laying against the hand you're using and struggling to prop it up. Shining in all its glory from the excess that's leaked and coated it thoroughly. You seem happy to add to it and Chan's eyes widen at the couple of clear globs of arousal that drip out of your cunt, aided by two free fingers spreading your pussy lips and contracting your inner walls to squeeze them out. And then you sink a little lower, kissing the tip of his cock with your clit before rubbing the thick head between your folds.
"You're⊠you're so w-wet, mhm, fuck!" He's already on the brink of tears and this is just the beginning. And the gasping man might've just let out a sob at the sight of both of your hands shaking, clasped around his dick as you position it at the right angle and slowly ease the tip inside. "God, 'n so soft," he fucking gargles out due to how much he's drooling.
You're no better off. The saliva that's pooling in your mouth at the delightful ache and burn has completely saturated his boxers. They do nothing to muffle your moans that only grow higher in pitch with the few additional inches you attempt to take, a little more each time. But at least you won't grind your teeth together, plus you're buried in the taste and scent of Chan's essence. Even more so as you topple forward, nails digging into his shins.
It's almost humiliating. How you've ended up face-planting into the mattress and your hips take on a mind of their own, humping up and down midair yet still on the top of his cock. Circling and gyrating as they attempt to both run away and plop firmly up and down onto the hard, thick length begging to fully bury into your tight cunt that's slowly widening to accommodate.Â
Luckily, it's not like Chan can make fun of or even blame you, focusing everything he can on not thrusting up into your wet heat on his own accord right now out of consideration. The man understands it's a stretch, a painful one at that.
He doesn't mind staying mildly distracted. There's so much to take in. Ogling the way your ass bounces and jiggles, pornographic sound effects of his cock absolutely bullying your pussy as it squelches in and out. Filling the room with nasty noises audio porn wishes it could truly replicate amid both of your pants, moans, groans, and whines.
It feels like forever until his length has finally made its home within your squishy walls that welcome it inside with a multitude of affectionate squeezes. But honestly, that barely lasts because your hips refuse to let up and once the stretch no longer burns as much and instead melts into mind-numbing pleasure, all you can do is ride him into delirium. And Chan fucking loves it, continuing to watch how your ass reverberates with each downward slam accompanied by the sting of ass cheeks slapping against his stomach over and over again.
"S-so slutty f'me, b-best friend actin' like a whore on my dick."
"Ah, mm⊠cock⊠your cock! It's makin' me act slutty!"
"Yeah? You like being my slutty best friend, baby?"
You lug your head onto the leg you'd been riddling with love bites and salivating all over after spitting out his ruined boxers, looking tearfully in his direction. Cross-eyed with a goofy smile on your face at how fucked-out you've become as your clit grinds against his squishy balls that tighten, firm, and fill up with each thud of your hips.Â
"Mhm⊠yeah."
"You gonna be my slutty baby from now on?"
"Ohhh, touch me Channie⊠please!"
"Since y-you asked so nicely." He squeezes at your ass cheek though it's quickly wrenched out of his grasp because you can't stop moving. "But I⊠I asked you a question." And then his palm flies out, skin meeting skin in a loud crack against your other cheek. As if it's actually a punishment. "My pretty whore's too fucked out to answer, h-huh?"
"Mhmph! More⊠more!"
A gasp leaves your mouth and impossibly, your hips only speed up before they suddenly halt. Practically screaming at this point with how good your best friend's cock is buried so deeply and fully seated inside as you somehow manage to sit up with inhuman strength.Â
Oh, but your darling Channie knows why.
He lazily grins, empty mind now playing all the signs through his head along to the same moments happening in real-time. You have a death grip on his thighs, certain he'd really impale you in a morbid way if you lose your hold as you bounce haphazardly. How nice, he decides to aid you â giving into the urges to thrust up into your suffocating little cunt whenever you rise up so you constantly remain stuffed full every single time.
Your back does its arch thing and he runs a hand down the curve, pushing down ever so gently as he takes over. It's his turn for a slapping assault, his balls returning the favor on your tender clit that pokes and rubs at them, egging on the brutal pace you started in the first place.
"Gonna squeeze the life outta me," and you clench even tighter around him so that even the air in his lungs is sucked out by the squeeze of your cunt. "You wanna murder me with that sweet pussy of yours? Choke the life outta me, sweetheart? Like the well-behaved little whore that you are?"
Chants of "yes, yes, yes" fall in between salacious moans of "mhms" and "fuck Channie, so good" and it fuels Chan into true unleashed feral mode. The addition of the white ring forming at the base of his cock in no way, shape, or form is helping to reign him in at all. He presses appreciative bruises into the skin of your hips, aiding your sore and tired legs with the powerful strength of his arms.
"A creamer too⊠oh my god, what can't your cunt do baby, fuck â so freakin' perfect."
"All⊠all for you!"
Chan laughs and it's mean, a petulant frown causing your lips to jut out at his mocking tone. "For me? You gonna be a-all mine from now on? Let me be the only one t-to stretch this sweet hole out?"
Ongoing cries of "yes" mixes and slurs with "yours" but it's enough for him, especially when you manage to moan out with a promise that you're definitely his slutty whore and will only be his forever.
That pleases him, an elated grumble rumbling in his chest. "Gonna fill 'er up real good and you'll swallow me whole baby. Feel me for days, drippin' outta â ah, shit!"Â
His voice cracks, the hands assisting your movements haul your hips up and then down, anchoring them firmly against his pelvis. You peer over your shoulder at him in utter dismay at suddenly being empty. His missed cock trembling without your warmth, flopping hot and hard against your stomach. Granting a helpful outside visual of how deep it can drill up into your cunt. But that's kind of useless when you already experienced it first-hand, so all you can do is send Chan a weepy glare.
"S-sorry babe, we just, I should probably⊠" His eyes dart to the unopened drawer of his nightstand. "Gonna throw a condom on."
You let out a scoff of disbelief and discontent, surly brat behavior poking through. "Doesn't matter, wanna feel you fill me up. 'N then squirt it all out, won't matter anyways."
"That's not how it works."
Chan's grateful the usual post-nut clarity somehow hit before. It's still awful timing and might have been a complete mood killer but you're both so worked up â you in particular â it doesn't seem to matter. Even as he nudges you off while reaching for a package, you back up and try to grind against his cock to change his mind. But you reluctantly give up, especially when he ends up reacting with a harsher hiss more from rolling the latex down the sensitive length than your plump ass rubbing it.Â
You're honestly a little offended.Â
He hushes and tries to soothe you. Fumbling with the slick mess around your gaping hole and dipping inside occasionally with one hand as he works on the condom. But you know for a fact you've been ruined because you barely feel a thing after your cunt's been stretched out for and filled specifically with his huge cock.Â
Now you just wish he'd ultimately finish the job of ruining you. Oh, and maybe continue some more after. And a lot.Â
You grimace because you're able to think too much. And then Chan's finally all ready to go and your cheek is suddenly pressed into the rumpled sheets, nipples brushing deliciously against them. You're pushed onto your forearms and he helps widen your knees at a spread angle so your pussy is fully presentable and gapingly accessible.Â
"Good thing I'm flexible."Â
"Yeah," Chan licks his lips, "just as I'd expect from my sweet slut."Â
"You gonna fill this slut up then, Channie or â "Â
You're cute off by the squeal at his cock ramming back inside of where it belongs. Meanwhile, he chuckles darkly, running a hand through sweaty bangs as he tries to distribute weight solidly with how he's risen to his knees. Finding little support from the mattress to support the onslaught of powerful thrusts in and out of your pussy and discovers a better method with a tight hold of your hips where his hands instinctively fall.Â
"Best way to shut a whore up is to fuck them." He clicks his tongue in disapproval because you're nuzzling face-first into the bed, muffling the sounds that drive him crazy. "Doesn't mean I don't wanna hear you moan f'me, baby."
What he doesn't know is you're trying to find something to bite into that won't end up being your poor tongue.Â
To manhandle you as he sees fit, Chan's fingers slip down to splay around where your vocal cords lie. Thumb digging beneath your jawline into the soft fleshy skin of your neck. Teasing you with a not-quite-there chokehold that causes you to pulsate around the cock sliding in and out with little resistance thanks to the help of the slick that pools endlessly out of your core.Â
Then he's turning your head to the side to watch your eyelids flutter rapidly. Noticing how your jaw is clenched, teeth practically gnashing at each push into you that now relentlessly strokes that bundle of nerves. Taking pity, he lends a finger. Prying open your mouth and not caring when you bite down on it with a ferocity that could break skin â that's what he offered it for anyways â though it will definitely leave behind bruising indents that'll take days to heal.Â
But he wouldn't care if you ended up breaking his bones too. With the way he's driving his dick over and over into you like a madman, he possibly could break something by that alone. The new position benefits the both of you greatly, granting him a better angle to reach deep and you find comfort in the way his body lays against yours. Pressing you down further into the bed, the weight comforting.
Even through the latex, he can feel the little bump of nerves his tip brushes against that's just rough enough to make him shiver. He purposefully aims his pelvis to be able to hit it each time. The lone arm at your hip wraps around your abdomen and he moans at how he can feel the bulge of skin pressed against his forearm from the size of the monster dick within you.Â
It drives him feral, punctuating each sharp thrust with a praising hiss of, "Best. fuckin'. pussy. ever!"
And then it's happening. You can literally see the tightly-wound knot unraveling. Can feel as it loosens while your cunt suctions around his cock in a hard, vice-like grip. You cling around him, refusing to let him leave your warmth for a second. Not even daring to let him slide even a bit out. Though he wouldn't even think of it. As the mental ties come undone in your brain, so does your body â plummeting over and free-falling off the cliff of pleasure.
White flashes across your vision as your body writhes and shakes beneath Chan. Overcome by how fucking amazing it feels to be so full with the devastatingly huge dick of the person you care about the most tearing apart your insides. You're sobbing, tears drenching your face and where it lays.Â
Chan's praising you through it all, complimenting how good you are for him, how perfect everything about you is, and how only you â his bestest, sluttiest, sweetest friend â could take him so well.
"Fuckin' knew you would be the one," he confesses and presses a kiss against your neck. It's so tender, full of love and gentleness despite how his hips cruelly still haven't let up, and it makes you wail even louder. "Ever since you smiled at me. Now, c'mon sweetheart 'n give it all to me. Show's only just gettin' started."
He's guiding you through the most intense orgasm you've ever had as it spirals from a crashing wave into a soon-to-be gushing waterfall. Yes, you've squirted before. But never with such a delightful buildup like this. And he knows you can take it, knows it's what you want as he coaches himself to hold off from his own finale. You let out a hearty moan, shaking at the overstimulation and feeling him twitch repeatedly inside. Almost as if his dick itself is begging for your release so it can do the same.
Your body listens and obeys, utterly charmed by your best friend's cock. Not like that would change the impending fate bound to happen anyway. Your cunt expels him out with a spray that splashes against his abs and drips down his thighs. Chan swears and grabs his length that bobs in the air upon being freed, fingers holding the condom tightly at the base like a makeshift cock ring.Â
Furiously jerking off just a little bit to reach completion and then he's emptying what feels like a life's worth into the poor condom that can barely contain it. Unlike your pussy that would take it all if given the chance. It inflates, ballooning out and filling up with so much cum it's threatening to pop. As if it wasn't working overtime, straining around the sheer size of his cock.
It's so full and heavy, gravity weighing it down to flop against your folds that squirt out a tiny bit more upon contact that has your legs seizing. Your lower body â now growing numb â was somehow still sustained by Chan's insane one-arm strength until he flops onto you. Bringing you both down onto the wet mess on the bed.
"Get off, you're heavy," you grouch though a dumb smile lights up your blissed-out face.
He laughs breathlessly and rolls onto his side, bringing you into his arms and looking at you with stars in his eyes. You nuzzle into his neck, inhaling his comforting scent you never want to be without now that you've been fully encompassed by it in such an intimate manner. So you wait, feeling the way your hearts both beat rapidly and he takes a deep breath. Chest expanding as his lungs fill with much-needed air after so much exertion.Â
Anticipation brims from the crown of your head to the tip of your toes when Chan finally asks, "Hey, do you still think size doesn't matter?"
You blink. Once. Twice. Thrice. Definitely not the question you were expecting.
There's a lively spark still dancing in his tired eyes and you match it with a playful smile. "I'm not really sure, I think you'll have to prove it to me a few more times."
"Suppose there's still a lot of condoms we can't let go to waste."
"Aw, you don't want me to make you some balloon animals?"
"That offer is tempting butâŠ" Sneaky hands tickle the swell below your breasts and you giggle, half-heartedly batting him away. "Not as much as you are."
"And you know⊠there's still a lot of chances to confirm some things while we test out whose theory is right."
"Confirm what, my dear? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I've already staked my claim on what's mine." It's embarrassing how easily Chan can read you, a know-it-all smirk on his face as he cups your warm cheek oh-so-lovingly. "My slutty bestie's the only one who can take my cock like a champ, there's no way I'm letting you go now."
It's even more embarrassing that your heart and sore hole flutter at crude words that totally shouldn't make you feel like a silly fool in love. But because you are, it only makes you fall harder.
"So, you're mine now too?"
"If that's okay with you."
And of course, it's okay with you, you verbally affirm. Feeling his smile against your own when he leans in to kiss you. You'll confirm later that size really doesn't matter. After all, you just happen to be lucky that your bestie-now-turned-boyfriend has a huge cock to complement the equally huge amount of love he has stored for you in his heart.

onlyseokmins: June 2023 ©
â â§ crybaby

âŠÂ a chan x reader series !

status. 2/3 completed
genre. smut (18+ / mdni), tattooist chan, crybaby reader, fluff, minor angst
a/n. i think the descriptions are funny okđ they're also in the works so bear w me
join the taglist here! all parts can be read as a standalone

â â§ crybaby â w/c: 7.9k
youâve always had a tendency to cry over minuscule things and chan kind of hates itâhe thinks itâs irritating and immature and stupid. it also doesnât help that heâs fighting off the feeling that he might be super into it, because that would just be scandalous, right?
â â§ cry for me â w/c: 5.1k
in which you're holding back tears in a cute little restaurant because you spilled wine all over your lap, all while chan is holding back a raging boner.
â â§ cry! cry! cry! â coming soon
chan didn't mean to make you cry, he swears. after 5 missed calls and even more unread messages, chan is met with the sight of your tear streaked cheeks, and he's determined to make it up to you in whatever way you'd like.
three men and a slut




=ÍÍÍâłâ„ member  | seungcheol x vernon x chan x fem reader
=ÍÍÍâłâ„ genre  | smut
=ÍÍÍâłâ„ word count  | ~2,700
=ÍÍÍâłâ„ warnings  | foursome, car sex, dom!cheol, sub!vernon, sub!chan, switch!reader, pet names (princess, puppy, baby, good girl), name calling (slut, whore), possessive cheol, fingering, oral (m receiving), exhibitionism, voyeurism, humiliation, degradation, a little manhandling, some choking, a teeny bit of objectification ?, masturbation (m), creampie (they don't discuss birth control so BE SAFE), no mentions of alcohol but it's kinda implied they're a little tipsy, they're still aware enough to consent though!!, there's no clear relationships but it's mentioned that cheol & reader used to hook up, this is just really rough and nasty car sex, if i missed any please lmk!
=ÍÍÍâłâ„ notes  | lowercase intended. this is technically the first threesome (well- foursome) i've written so feedback would be really helpful! also i don't usually write sub!idol just bc i personally am not experienced being a dom so that's why i usually write sub!reader, but for this i wanted to try writing it :) also don't laugh at my title i think i'm very clever and funny
this is written completely targeted at @duhnova i hope you suffer (lovingly) merry christmas heathen <3 please note since this was written with nova in mind it may have some things that not everybody enjoys so don't feel obligated to read if it's not something you're into! everybody has different tastes. for those that read it, i hope you like it hehe - đ june
minors dni - you will be blocked.

âchan will be hereâ soon,â you call behind you, stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk as you walk to go sit at a bench outside the club.Â
vernon follows behind you, his jacket slung over his shoulder. âare you⊠coming back to my place?â
âmhm!â you giggle, sloppily pressing your lips against his. your tongue delves into his mouth as he whimpers, his hands falling to your hips and squeezing, pulling you against him so you can feel he's already half hard.
with public indecency charges the furthest thing from your mind, youâre almost considering undressing him right here and now, until a pair of bright white lights engulfs you and a shrill honk sounds behind you.
reluctantly you pull away from vernon, and he quickly reaches out to wipe the little bit of drool from your mouth as you turn towards the black suv.
âhiii, channie!â you sing out as you fling open the back door, vernon teetering after you.
he smiles, calling your name. "so where am i taking you now? your house, or vernon's?"
"mine," vernon says, helping you into the car with a grin before sliding into the passenger seat himself.
the drive starts out fine. until you look up at vernon in the front seat, hooded eyes watching the streetlights go by, and you begin thinking to yourself how pretty his face would be when you sit on his cock.
so you tell him so.
"you wanna⊠what?" he says, turning around in his seat to face you, his cheeks dusted with pink.
"well, it's not like i haven't before," you frown, scooching to the edge of your seat so you can lean forward to hear him better.
vernon sighs. "not in front of chan, though."
âyou know i can hear you guys, right? iâm literally right here,â chan mutters, his eyes glued to the road. ânow sit back in the seat and put your seatbelt on, or iâll pull over.â
âwell, you can join,â you sulk, but you slide back into the seat. âyou donât have to be so grouchy about it. do you want me to suck your dick? you probably have a really nice dick, too, would probably fit so nice in my mouth."
vernon whines about something in the front seat, but you canât hear him, so you lean forward again to hear him. chan sees you out of the corner of his eye and glares at you, turning off at the next freeway exit and pulling into the first empty parking lot.
âcan you justâ do whatever it is you need to do so i can take you home safely?â he asks, exasperated.
âsure, if you donât mind watching. or participating,â you say, already climbing up over the center console to sit yourself on vernonâs lap before chan can say anything.
youâre already starting to grind down onto him, but vernon stills your hips and looks over at chan, then back at you. âbaby, we can wait til we get back home. don't make him watch if he doesn't want to."
you pout. âno, i want him to watch,â you whine, sliding your hands along vernonâs arms. âwant him to see how good you make me feel.â
you look at vernon, and vernon looks over at chan. he coughs awkwardly, his face a bright shade of red that's only half visible in the moonlight. "i⊠never said i didn't wanna watch," he says finally.
"see! told you," you tell vernon, smacking his shoulder lightly.Â
you turn back to face them, both their eyes watching you intently.
"so. who wants to do what first?"

while youâve been caught up with the two men in the car with you, at the other end of the parking lot, seungcheol is just locking up at his closing shift.
the lot is empty, except for one car a few rows down from his, which is⊠odd, considering itâs after three in the morning. and when he looks closer, he notices theyâve got their hazard lights on.Â
so of course, he canât just leave without checking it out. somebody might be in trouble.
and somebody is in trouble. you, for cumming without permission, as vernonâs fingers are deep inside your cunt and you lean across the seat to bob your head up and down on chanâs lap.
âcan feel you throbbing on my fingers,â vernon moans. he leans his head forward to kiss your hip, but it quickly turns into a bite, his teeth skimming over your ass as he sucks deep bruises into your skin.Â
seungcheol is just about to knock on the window and ask if whoeverâs inside needs help, when his jaw falls open at the sight in front of him. oh, the way his eyes go wide when he sees your ass, plastered against the passenger side window, your dripping pussy spread open on display with vernonâs fingers shoved into you for anyone who might walk by to see; your pretty lips wrapped around the driverâs girthy cock, spit pooling around the base of it from how hard youâre sucking.
youâre all so consumed with each other, drinking in how pretty you all look all fucked out already, that you donât even notice your friend watching until vernon moans, rolling his head to the side and seeing seungcheol standing outside, face contorted with emotion.
vernon leans over to tap your shoulder to get your attention, then motions to the window, finally sliding his fingers out of you and wiping your wetness on your breasts.
you turn around, drool trickling from the corners of your mouth as you wipe your hand across your face, smearing it across your chin. you break into a grin and sit back onto vernonâs lap, reaching behind you to open his door. âhi, cheollie.â
chan looks up, breathing heavily as he struggles to recover from the feeling of your perfect, wet little mouth on him. âyo-you know him?â he pants.
âwe⊠used to hook up,â seungcheol says, and if you werenât so distracted by a million other things you might have noticed the cold tone to his voice. âlooks like youâve moved on, huh, princess?â
âand what if i have?â you giggle, raising an eyebrow daringly.
he tsks, his features morphing into a look you know all too well. âif iâd have known iâd see you tonight, i wouldâve brought your collar, puppy,â he says with a sly grin that has vernon and chanâs mouths falling open in shock.
you sit back, placing your hands on vernon's chest. "well, you can join in, too. don't be a brat now, cheollie."
he scoffs. "princess, i think the only brat here is you."
you roll your eyes and point to the back door as you wrap your hand around vernon's cock, slowly beginning to move up and down. "door's unlocked. take it or leave it."
seungcheol just smirks, taking off his jacket and yanking open the door to slide into the backseat.
vernon whimpers as you curl your hand around him, the tips of your manicured nails gently scraping down his length as he bucks up into your hand.
you bring your other hand up to his cheek to kiss him. "you're the lucky one tonight, darling," you tell him. "you get to fuck me."
he groans, and he swears he'll cum on the spot, but then you're sinking down onto his cock and the car fills with his pretty sounds.
as he starts to find a rhythm, you lean back over and reattach your mouth to chanâs cock, painfully hard from so much happening all at once. precum drools from his tip, red and throbbing, and he sighs in relief when you finally begin to swirl your tongue around him.
cheol positions himself in the backseat, muscular legs spread wide as he watches three pretty little sluts whining in the front seat.
he's fine with sitting back and observing for now. he's fucked you enough times, had you in so many positions before, that it's almost nice to have the chance to see someone else ruin you.
but of course, both you and he know that no one makes you cum like he does; even these two cute men you have fawning over you every move, they can't make you scream their names like you would his.
so for now he sits back, patiently waiting for his turn, so he can show these two what it really means to give someone pleasure.
"i'm so close, babâprincess," vernon moans, correcting himself automatically after hearing the names seungcheol called you by earlier.
you clench around him, not used to hearing the familiar word on his lips.
"please, m'bout to cum, can iâŠ" he pants, "âŠinside? please, iâ"
"no."
the deep, stern voice that comes from the backseat is so unexpected, vernon's hips stutter, his orgasm falling away in a matter of seconds.
"you don't get to cum inside," cheol says, finally moving to unbuckle his pants and slip them onto the floor. "that's my job, and my job only." his hard cock slaps against his stomach, aching at the feeling of finally being freed from his pants.
"come on back here, slut," he says gruffly, motioning with two fingers. the same fingers you've had stuffed in your mouth, your cunt, every one of your holes, and that you can't help but imagine cumming on againâ even after you've cum so many times already.
you whine but you comply, lifting your hips and letting vernon's cock slip out of you as he lets out a long, low groan.
he twists around in his seat, watching you climb back into the backseat.
"well, what are we supposed to do now?" he whines, gripping his cock with one hand.
"watch," seungcheol barks out, and to your surprise, vernon obeys, sitting back in his seat without complaining, his neck craned behind him to see what you're doing.
cheol grabs you by your shoulders and manhandles you into the seat on all fours, one hand wrapped around the back of your neck.
you wiggle your ass and he gives it a smack, so loud it cuts through the air.
"you ready, little brat?" he growls, rubbing at your skin where his slap left a mark.
"ple-ase?" you whimper, exaggerating the word. it's nowhere near as much begging as he'd usually require, but he's still a guest in this car, so he lets it go. if you ever call him for another late-night fuck, he'll be sure to make you beg twice as hard to make up for it then.
with one hand still grasping your neck, he uses his other hand to line himself up with you, finally pushing into you and bottoming out with one thrust.
he laughs at the way you whine, your hands gripping onto the edge of the seat. "forgotten what it's like to have a real cock in you, hm?" he teases.
you vaguely register vernon whimpering from the front seat, and out of the corner of your eye you can see his hand jerking up and down rapidly, no doubt building himself back up to the orgasm that cheol ruined just minutes ago.
cheol doesn't move, so you begin pushing your hips back against his, setting your own pace as he simply sits there, letting you fuck yourself on him.
but, as you're used to with him, he only allows you to do this for a minute or two before he's gripping your neck more tightly and thrusting into you.
you yelp at the sudden change of pace, your head falling forward as you hang onto the seat beneath you for dear life.
"you like it like this, don't you?" he groans, his hips slamming against yours so hard you're sure they'll leave your ass bruised when heâs finished. "my little whore, so greedy for a nice, thick cock, you'll do anything, won't you?"
you know he's expecting an answer, but his brutal pace barely allows you time to breathe, let alone speak. so all you can do is whimper in agreement, trying your best to nod but getting lost in the motion of his perfectly angled thrusts that have your knees shaking.
"three of us here with our own personal slut, to use however we want," he continues, giving your ass another hard slap that makes you clench around him.
with quite a bit of effort, you manage to lift your head to see how your other partners are doing.
vernon is still turned around, intensely focused on watching you, and he still has his hand around his cock, pumping furiously. his eyes dart back and forth between your cunt, where cheol is relentlessly fucking into you, and your face, where your features are probably scrunched up in pleasure.
chan must've just cum, and for a second you're disappointed you missed itâ you would've loved to have seen the pretty faces he makes when his orgasm overtakes him. but then you see the way his head falls back against the headrest, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath, and you're just happy you get to see him like this afterwards. both his hand and the steering wheel in front of him are covered in thick, white ropes.
one particularly well-timed thrust brings your attention back to the man fucking you, your arms buckling and you fall to your elbows, back arched and ass in the air.
"are you gonna cum, little slut?" he coos, his voice deceivingly sweet. "go on, princess, cum all over my cock."
and like magic you feel your walls contract at his words, an orgasm you didn't even see coming hitting you with so much force you nearly fall off the seat.Â
it feels like your high lasts forever, wave after wave of immense pleasure slamming into you as cheol fucks you through your orgasm, not once letting up.
he leans over you, wrapping one muscular arm around your body and holding you close. "you still want me to cum inside?" he breathes into your ear, and you nod rapidly, humming out a 'yes' as best you can.
"p-please, ch-cheollieâŠ" you murmur, your eyes squeezed shut as you struggle to recover. "wanna f-feel you. wanna be f-full of you."
"good girl." you can feel him smile against your skin before he lets go, sitting back up and bringing both his hands to your hips, giving him more momentum to push himself into you.
every thrust starts hitting deeper than the last, a telltale sign he's getting close, too.
with a guttural moan he buries his cock in you one last time, pushing in all the way to the hilt before you hear him let go and you can feel each rope of thick cum that he pumps into you.
when he's finally finished cumming, he lets out a long exhale, his hands gliding over your body soothingly. he stays inside you for another minute before he pulls out, his cum already beginning to leak out of you, spilling down your trembling thighs. immediately you push your fingers into yourself to keep it in, and cheol grins. "mm. good, obedient whore," he coos, the sweetness in his voice no longer fake as he leaves one more playful smack to your aching rear.
you look up to see vernon, who came all over himself, his shirt stained with white as he sits in the passenger seat, eyes fluttering shut.
chan, having gotten over his orgasm earlier, is pouting in the driver's seat, complaining about how he's going to have to deep-clean his car again after it's been thoroughly covered in cum.
and finally, cheol. he slips his pants back on, struggling a bit in the cramped space, then opens the back door and hops out of the car.
he nods at the two in the front. "nice meeting you. now take good care of her."
vernon opens his mouth to say something, but quickly closes it, deciding not to.Â
seungcheol waves behind him as he walks across the lot to his car.
"you know where to find me if you want me again."

taglist | @rae-ha-writes @listxn @babebatter @shuatm @yeosayang @noniestars @dkakapizzaboy @enhacolor @kimy3na @candidupped @berrryshortcake @tinkerbell460 @haraethx @iheartyeonnnnn @onlymingyus @brrrlamborgini @foxdaisy @wonderfulshinee
join our taglist here!
feedback (reblogs, comments, asks) is greatly appreciated as it lets me know what people enjoy reading, so i can write more in the future! :)
Do it already (m)

Pairing: best friend's brother!Chan x afab!reader
Genre: smut, slice of life
Word count: 6.5k
tags: actor!chan, childhood friends!chan, possessive!chan, yearning!reader, plot rich, reader with tits, reader masturbation, kitchen counter sex, reference to drugs, oral (giving and receiving), mouth fucking, choking, spanking, pussy slapping, degradation (slut, whore), praise kink, unprotected sex. tender love and care
Summary: You and the Lee siblings were like three peas in a pod. That didn't last long when Chan went for his dream and left you and sister to yourselves. That was no problem since she was the best friend you could ever have. Now he's back, hot, fit, oozing sex appeal and you're wondering what it'll take for him to rail you like a train on tracks.
author note: this banner took 3 minutes to make. It's take a lot shorter if i didn't have so many spelling errors. point is this banner is the coolest bc i found a template already premade. it's been a while since i wrote a lengthy chan thing that wasn't just smut so, here you go. enjoy! and thank you to everyone that voted on the poll to make this happen. also, every thought the reader had been once my own, I overindulged once again
tag list: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @honglynights @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han
You remember Chan eating dirt at the ripe age of 5. You were the cause of it. You thought it was funny to make a dirt and worms pie with real dirt and worms. You were right. Heâs hated you since.
His sister, Chanmi, agreed with you. She thought you were really funny. Chan eventually got over the dirt pie, and found it incomplete without your presence. You became best friends after that and basically followed them everywhere. You always wanted siblings and since mom couldnât afford to push out anymore, you settled on being fake siblings with the Lees.
Then Chan decided to pursue his dreams when he was 14. That was okay. You had more in common with Chanmi, anyway. His disappearance made you and Chanmi closer. She relied on you and you doted on her. It was a mutual symbiotic relationship. You couldnât see a life without each other.
You ended up in the same college as well, living across the hall from each other in the same dormitory. Now you really couldnât see a life without her.Â
When it was time to graduate, you really worried youâd drift apart by now. When she reassured you wouldnât, you trusted her word, as she trusted yours when you made that same commitment. It was time to commemorate it, so in came your joint graduation party. Your families and mutual friends had joined together and celebrated the end of an era. You would now go off into a world that you feared more than it would fear you. But you had Chanmi. You couldnât imagine a better person to do it with.
Chan had hardly crossed your mind in all these years until the very moment he walked through your front door. You could hardly recognize him in the Armani blazer and dress shoes, but it was him. He had the same sharp yet attentive brown eyes since he was a teenager. He was simply all grown up now, as have you. Chan had come to visit a few times in the time heâs been gone but you only ever saw him a brief passing, caught up in your own life.Â
Once our eyes have landed on him, itâs as if time has stopped. The acting school mustâve done this because his image seemed to be crafted in utter perfection. He was slightly taller than you remember, chiseled than you remember, and the least of all, more handsome than you remembered. You emphasize that you never saw Lee Chan attractive, not once, but here you were, devouring every detail of him.
He saunters over with flowers in his armsânoticeably two bouquets, one full of daisies and another with sunflowersâand stands before you and your best friend with a smile on his face. He congratulates Chanmi, handing her the bouquet of sunflowers and a hug, and within earshot saying how he knew she could do it.
Then came you. The expression on his face is something youâve never seen him make. It bordered the line of surprised, startled, perhaps aroused, and you donât know what to make of it. You clenched your legs anxiously before you pushed yourself up from your seat, seeing how much taller he really gotten since. It was funny since you had gotten used to being the taller one in your youth but it seems some of that has changed, along with everything about him.
âCongratulations, Y/n.â He hands you your daisies, unable to tear his gaze from you, fingers brushing against yours as he places them in your hands and electricity flows through you both.
âNo hug,â you ask, trying it. His grin gets wider, arms now coming around you, and you feel his larger than life biceps close in a tight embrace. The scent that entered your personal circle now engulfed your senses, blackberries and cream. He smelled sweet, comforting, and if you help it, down right edible.Â
You sigh, hugging closer, closing your eyes to fully appreciate his warmth and he spoke to a lethally soft tenor, âYouâre looking good, Dirt cake. Welcome to adulthood.â
He felt strong and safe, yet left you breathless when he smoothed his hand over your back. You wonder how there can be so much tension in a seemingly platonic gesture. He makes you feel like the only other person to exist, but it ends when he pulls away, and his ghost lingers over your form.
The attention is all on him when his parents see Chan arrive, proud to have gotten the family back together again. Your parents greet him the same, having once known him to be a placeholder of a son they wouldâve loved to have. Everyone is joyous.
You couldnât stop thinking about him, the rest of the party or the rest of the night that matter, thinking only what heâd like underneath those clothes. As children, youâve had your fair share of beach days, pool parties, joint family vacations to rented lake houses, but that was a time when Lee Chan wouldnât even be considered in your dating pool. You were both children, almost like family at some point, and thinking of him in any manner besides that was icky. So, so icky.
But youâd be lying if you didnât watch him tear off that blazer and put it away in a closet. His muscles ripple through his expensive dress shirt, sleeves pulled up to cut off at the elbows, revealing blue veins so thick and pulsing you imagine how theyâd feel against your tongue at the sight of them. You lie in bed at the thought of them, overwhelmed at the pool it causes between your legs and goes to reclaim your arousal. Your digits languidly follow the trail of their escape and bite on your other pillow to muffle your ache.
Your head throws back into the duvet as you plunge two eager digits in your sopping core. The perfect arch you make goes unnoticed in your lonesome. You pleasure yourself in solitude, when in your mind one other person takes your fingersâ place.
âCum all over me, sweet angel. I can feel you close.â
He had never uttered those words in his life, at least not you, but can hear them almost as clear as day.
Your hips slew in a circular type motion. Your moans get more curt as you bite hard into the cotton felt. Legs tense up, lifting off the bed, and hushed whimpers are all you communicate as youâre overcome with your release, taking the time for your legs to settle down. Your pulse would take a longer time to process your journey. Chan was still on your mind after all. Along with all the guilt built up from the considered betrayal youâve made to his sister, your best friend, you were wondering if you could ever face her, or Chan, again.
âOh my god, when was the last time we were out together like this?â
Chanmiâs enthusiasm combated your desire to hide away forever from guilt. You pick apart your burger, making sure there were no pickles as youâve requested, and humming content as your message was received. â3-4 years. If you include that lunch, Chan took off in 10 minutes.â
The culprit chuckled, depositing a fry in his mouth. âI'm in high demand. You should be proud to be sitting so close to me.â
Chanmi snickers, shoving a nugget in his face, âHere, shove this in your pie hole.â
He happily accepts the excuse to shut up and enjoys it like itâs the most delicious thing on earth. âYummy.â
You all laugh at his lighthearted nature and talk as if no time has passed. Itâs familiar, warm, but jarring, because seeing you all united together proved that time came with age, and apparently for Chan, a new appreciation for a fully equipped gym.
Heâs the same personality-wise, but you canât help but focus on the physical. Looking at him while talking felt like he had been body swapped with some foreign adonis. You donât forget the more stylish hair cut he sports, tapering slightly short at his sides and longer up top. He was becoming everything he meant to be.
âHowâs shooting,â you curiously ask, âIâm sure itâs really exciting to be working on a bigger project like this.â
Chan took off the middle of your childhood to enroll in a boarding performing arts school. He wanted to pursue acting professionally one day, and he believed the networking and immersion of the curriculum would allow him to hone that skill. He made a pretty penny doing TV commercials in his attendance there, but his senior year he finally got cast in a small film. His mini break.
He played a minor role but got all the perks of a lead, besides the fame. He pushed himself hard to get recognized in his field of work. Corpses on criminal mind-esque shows, taking on five-minute extra characters, becoming a regular on a cable show with a beloved modest fandom, and finally now heâs done it. He was going to be a lead on an online streaming series that would be broadcasted internationally. Although, he hadnât gotten the male love interest he strived for. He had claimed the role of the second love interest instead, and everyone always loved the second lead more than the first, he rationalized.
âItâs so exciting. Everyone is so talented and cool. I almost can't believe it.â He expresses with an excited glint in his eyes.
âItâs a big deal,â You cover his hand with yours, squeezing it affectionately. âYou deserved this.â
You exchange proud smiles at each other. You wish you could feel the warmth from his lips as he lets out a quiet âthank youâ as he places his over hand on top of yours. This feels too tender to be real, and you wonder how you could ever have noticed those creased smile eyes in the past.
The moment is interrupted when a text tone goes off and Chanmi claims it. âOh, gotta go. I have a date.â
Chan rolled his eyes as his giddy sister hops out of her chair, releasing himself from your hands, and they suddenly drop cold. âCan't believe you planned a date in one of the few days Iâm in town.âÂ
Chanmi lands a quick peck on your cheeks and sticks her tongue at brother in defiance, scurrying away in a quick farewell and sheâs gone behind those double doors of the restaurant. This leaves you three: you, Chan, and the impending arousal that slicks your walls for being alone with him any longer than a second.
âItâs crazy isnât it,â Chan breaks your silence, âyou guys graduating, me being in a lead. Itâs so wild how far weâve come.â
You nod, âIt really is. Everythingâs different now.â
âWell, besides school, what else has happened? Nowâs the time to catch up.â
You hummed, âwhere do I start?â
Letâs see where you could start.
The moment you walk right through that front door, I cannot stop thinking about your hands on my body how you would press me up against a wall and fuck me senseless, stupid, or just straight up use me until I canât even remember my own name. Itâs been only a few days since I last saw you, but every day since then I thought about you. I touch myself to the thought you. I wondered how you would say my name. I wonder if you would say my name at all. I even wondered what you would want me to call you, if that was even necessary. For you, I would lay my body with only the purpose of fulfilling every one of your desires. Iâd have myself milk you until the end of our days.
You kept that to yourself. You were ashamed those words even ran through your mind in the brief moment it did, and you held your breath. âWell, since college is over, I can focus on the internship I got into. Itâs a lot less intense than Iâm expecting, just waiting for that adrenaline to pick up when it does.â
âYouâre so grown up. I can believe I missed that.â Thereâs so much tenderness and fondness in his eyes.
I could say the exact same about you.
âSo, Chanmiâs dating. You seeing anyone lately?â
If I was, theyâd be gone the second I saw you.
âNo, not really,â you respond, averting your gaze to your drink, âcollege guys kind of suck if Iâm being honest.â
Humor is evident as Chan stifles a laugh, wiping away the reminder of his sandwich away from his face. âThat Iâve heard of. Good. You deserve more than a guy just trying to get his dick wet.â
You halt, pleasure churning in your stomach at his vulgar language, hunching over the diner table in anguish. The pool of arousal spreads further. âThatâs one way to put it. And you? Anyone caught your eye?â
Please say no. For the love of god and Buddha, say no.
âNo luck on my end, either.â
Fuck yes.
âOh, well, that sucks.â
âI have had a lot of work on my hands, so I donât really fall into the practice of dating. I guess Iâm just taking things as they comeâ
You nod, completely aligned with him. You didnât see the point in dating apps if its purpose was only to put you out there in the world. You did plenty of that on your own.Â
âAnd sex?â What are you doing?
He snorts, his pearly whites on display. âWhat about sex?â
Stop before youâre in too deep. âAre you having any?â For Christ's sake.
He bites his lip, amused, taking the last sip from his sprite before setting it aside. âAt the moment, no. Why? Are you offering?â
YES.
âNo,â you scratch your head, blinking in feign innocence, âjust gathering intel to sell to paparazzi before you become a superstar and leave us.â
He crumbles up a napkin, a scrunched up smile on his face, before launching it at you, âYou jerk. And no, Iâm not fucking anyone.â
God, the way he cusses feels like drugs in my veins.
âAre you asking because you are,â he asks, âare you having sex with someone?â
Thereâs a sense of childish curiosity in his voice, like peers gossiping about the latest tea, but beneath it is something else. He circles his drink from his hands, eyes locked in place, mouth dropped in a way that screams âI dare you to answerâ and how his jaw tenses up after immediately asking, sets a fire into your inner thighs.
You let out a suffocated breath, pinching the skin of your thigh to snap you back into reality before the heat in his gaze singed your mouth shut. âNope.â
He hums, relief grazing his harsh brows. âNot hung up on anyone?â
âNo. Need an ex to be hung up with someone,â you quickly answer, before the bitter taste of regret stings your tongue.
âInteresting.â
You narrow at him. âWhat's so interesting about it?â
You want me. Just say it so I can lunge across this table to get to you.
âI havenât seen you in years and youâre beautiful, smart, single. It doesnât sound right.â He answers with a shrug.
Call me beautiful one more time. I will suck your dick right now under this table. I donât care about being caught.
âThereâs not really a reason, itâs just how it is. And maybe Iâm not looking. Considered that?â
The only person Iâm looking at is right in front of meâGod, I can smell your cologne from here. Fuck. I want to devour you.
âMaybe, but me personally, Iâd sweep you up before any guy could get the chance.â He chuckles.
Then do it. Stop teasing me.
âChanmi would probably kill me tho. Probably say itâd ruin our dynamic.â
Oh shit. Here you were, lost in a head fogged up with lust and you hadnât considered your best friends seeing you get shacked up with her brother. You were betraying her every second you though about her brother in a lewd sense. Although, she made no indication sheâd be bothered by such a thing, but who wouldnât? You werenât going to let yourself off on a technicality.
âDonât think we have much to worry about, though. I think weâll be just fine.â
His words were like an anchor dropped in your gut. You didnât know what was worse. Messing around with your best friendâs brother or the possibility of him rejecting the idea before it even started. You lose feelings in your legs, exhaling through your nose, and cry a little on the inside. You force an agreeing smile on your face. âYeah. Chanmi doesnât have to worry about anything.â
The meal comes to a close and you tell Chan you should get going home and he insists on driving. You were insane if you were going to spend another second in his presence, knowing fully well how he made you feel. Heâs basically rejected you. It was over. Quit trying.
âLet me know if the AC is too cold. I can turn it down.â
You were that insane.Â
âAll good.â
You sit in silence. The radio envelopes the air and you interlock your hands in discomfort, while Chan focuses on the road. It's not a long drive from your place, but it sure felt like it was. But it gave you all the time to reflect. You needed some of that. Maybe you could get your common sense back.
Of course, Lee Chan wasnât going to fall for you. Not like this. Maybe if you and his sister weren't attached at the hip, itâs possible. But then again, he would be living a life of fame, the spotlight, other people way hotter and more suitable for him. Face facts.
âSo, since you havenât dated anyone, Iâm assuming youâre a virgin.â
Oh. He was going to keep going.
âUm, not quite,â you chuckle nervously.
He raises a brow. âSo, you lied to me.â
You shake your head, âOf course not. Iâm not having sex right now with anyone or a single person consistently, if thatâs what you were saying, but Iâve had sex.â
âDid you?â
Something in his tone makes you want to turn your head to his side. You donât regret your decision seeing the whites of his knuckles as he grips the wheel. His voice may have sounded friendly, but he held himself taut, visibly restraining himself.
Oh, Chan.
âYeah. I didn't consider them exes, just flings,â you thought to add.
âFlings.â He repeats.Â
You grin to yourself. âYeah. I think a few times in high school and then a few more in college.â
âMy, my. Arenât you all grown up now?â You can almost hear him gritting his teeth, and you relished in it.
âWell, this is me.â You point at the building Chan forces himself to park at. He tightens his jaw in view, tapping the leather of the wheel in contemplation. Possibly at the revelation youâve revealed to him. You lean in where your face comes into view, smiling an innocent smile. âWant to come in, Chan?â
You can see the dilemma in his eyes. There's a war going on his brain and either way, he was losing. Inevitably, he helps you unbuckle his seat before deciding to do the same thing to him. He plays your game with a humorless smile. âWhy not?â
When youâre finally alone in the comfort of your home, it took everything in you to not jump him right then and there. His eyes scan over your living area, taking in the kick knacks, the tchotchkes you bought over time. It was as if he was rediscovering you, all of you, and for some reason, that made you more nervous than anything else. But that meant he was curious about you. He wanted to know more past what he saw as a child. He wanted to see you.
He snorts, crossing his arms, eyes finally landing on you. âI like your apartment. Am I the only guy you brought here you havenât fucked?â
That could change.
You shrug, gallantly walking further and further away from him. âI donât usually bring people over here. If Iâm hooking up, itâs usually at their place.â
You let him watch. His eyes trained on your walk, a resisted urge tempted in every step you take. âYou know thatâs incredibly dangerous, right?â
âAnymore dangerous than letting them know where I live?â you retort.
He saunters over to you, side grinning in challenge. âWhy are you trusting towards me?â
âBecause,â you mimic his arms, âWe have nothing to worry about. You said so.â
He glares down at you, taking one step closer. âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing?â
âWhatever do you mean, friend?â
He cocks his head, âYouâre really testing your luck arenât you, Y/n?â
You shrug, an obvious grin on your face, âIâm not testing anything. Exactly what are you implying?â
âDonât push me, Y/n. You donât want to find out what happens.â
âThatâs funny,â now youâre the one backing him in a corner, pushing him, showing him, knee his shins until his fingers grip back in the arm of a couch, saying words you only ever dared to think, âMaybe donât be a coward and fuck me already.â
His breath noticeably hitches and drinks in your assertion and feeds you back tenfold, pushing himself off the couch and colliding your lips, and a shock of immense arousal takes over your body. Goosebumps pebble your skin and involuntarily you moan in the lip lock, taking you longer than necessary to realize that Chan has backed you against a wall.
Your hand crawls into his hair, pushing him down to deepen your kiss as his hard member prods at your stomach. Hands run down to catch him, his clothed cock in your hands, feel how the zipper of his pants constricts him from taking up any more space, and you help spring him free.
âAll this fat cock all for me? Chan, you shouldnât have,â you playfully comment.
âIt's what you wanted, isn't it?â He thrusts up against you, hiking up your leg to dig into your already pulsing core. âYou want me to want you. To fuck you? Is that it?â
âYes.â You answer definitely. âI want you to want me so bad it hurts. Just as badly as I want you.â
âItâs not some addiction you have? Move on from one fuck thing to the next?â He questions, venom on his tongue. He speaks with doubt, but his body defies him, drawn to you like opposing ends of a magnet, in need of you as much as you were in need of him.
âI donât say things I don't 100 percent mean, Chan. If I wanted to just fuck you, Iâd do it already.â You squeeze around him slightly tighter, wrapping your fingers around strands of his hair harder, hearing that stuttering grunt of his to reveal itself. âThere's fucking, and then thereâs you, Chan. I Â donât just want to fuck you. I want to worship you.â
You catch a glimpse of his reaction to your startling response before lightly shove him off of you to get on your knees, scraping them against the textured wood. Lowering yourself gave a good view of the shift in his eyes, watching how they go from pure animosity to earth shattering enthrallment. Your hands come up to his hips, fingering from the waistband of his briefs and pulling it down with his pants, just to push it aside. His cock is big, hard, veiny, perfect to push down your throat.Â
You wrap your fingers around his girth, fingers trailing over his veins, counting the estimated inches. Disappointment didnât even cross your mind.
âYou have such a pretty, pretty cock,â you gasp, âhave you thought about it? My lips wrapped around your cock. I know I have.â
Chanâs bottom lip gets trapped between his teeth. His eyes dilate as your lips purse over the curve of his tip, kissing the slit. His mind then settles on your previous words, wondering what they entail. âWorship? With that kind of offer, Iâd hate to refuse. What about you?â
âWhat about me?â His shaft hugs the curve of your cheek.
âIf youâll worship me, whatâll happen to you?â
Your smile stretches across your face before kissing his length between speeches. âWell, if you let me. Iâll be all yours. Your titsââkissââass,ââkissââyour pussy,âââyour mouth. Iâll be all yours.â
Chan canât help but smile with you. His hand finds a way to thread through your hair, getting a good angle tug, and ripping a flirtatious giggle from your lips. âI get all that? Deal of the century.â
You hum in agreement before you feel him hug the inside of your mouth, fluttering your eyes at his size. Your tongue runs along his skin, taking it calmly, slowly. You make sure youâre breathing from your nose, savoring every second.Â
Chan breathes out controlled breaths, boring his lust driven gaze into your presence. His cock is more than pleased in your hot, wet mouth coating him in drool Your sweet, swollen lips were like the cherry on top of sundae. They were gloriously full and glossy getting him off. âYour lips are perfect around me. And this mouth is mine, you say?â
You nod as you bob down, not expecting him to thrust inside you, flinching against the wall. He puts either hand on either side of your head, holding you in place. Your eyes shut tight, feeling him twitching in your throat before pulling out. A ribbon of translucency stretches from your lips to his head.
âMy pretty, little mouth.â
There is a darkness in which he stares at you, like releasing of pandoraâs box. He was lost in power, greed, filth. Whatever it was, you were ready for more and you didnât mind what it took. He pets your hair, dragging his fingers from root to tips, saying his scary final words before he fills your cheeks more with his cock. âCherish that last breath. Youâll need it.â
Your head stays pinned to the wall, cock plunged in your mouth, the view of Chanâs unfailing erection and groin the only sight youâre able to take in this moment of suffocation. He wasnât slow with it and he didnât plan to be. Groaning, his hips push in your mouth, the back of your head hitting the wall behind you with every thrust, and the length flossing the pipe of your throat. You become a makeshift version of a glory hole. Your hands steady themselves on his hips until they are forced to pin above your head.
You wretch at his sheer force, but take every inch. Your tears burn your cheeks, feeling the tremble of your limbs. You cough, gag, swallowing him as youâre pushed past your normal limits and finally meet the base of his cock. He rams in you, lips to lap, mouth stretched and sore. Full didnât even begin to describe how it felt for him to fuck your mouth like this.Â
He shows mercy when he feels close, thrusting in all the way and holds in your mouth for an exact five seconds until he lets you go. Your saliva and his pre-cum dribble all over your chin and neck, but a dazed smile on your face despite the mess. A hand to your neck, he pulls you up from the ground, pressing you full bodily back in the wall.Â
âWell, arenât you a pretty fucking whore.â he hisses.
His hand invades the depths of your pants. Your sopping folds are easy to find as they coat his fingers like syrup, sweet and thick. âPussyâs mine, hmm? Ass too?â
âYes. yes, take all of me.â You impulsively part your legs, the gateway of your throat closing up as his grip gets tights. All the stars you were seeing shined brighter than the stars in the damn sky.
Chan tugs off your bottoms, throws it aside like garbage and lifts you on top of a kitchen counter. The cool marble stings your ass cheeks but you hardly notice as Chan nose deep in your pussy. His fingers dig deeper, tongue flicking starved at your entrance. âSweet Jesus, youâre fucking wet. Fucking dripping down my arm.â
âI wasnât lying to you, Chan.â Your leg hangs off his shoulder, feeling light as his tongue makes himself home in your warmth. âI want you, every part of you.â
They were more than enough words of encouragement as heâs lost in your thighs. The curve of his lips suck on your clit, eliciting a moan and would forever be ingrained to every wrinkle of his brain. His fingersânow down to his knucklesâtraveling you at an unforgivable pace. He makes it known that heâd give you what you want, anything and everything in between, but he wouldnât give you his patience.
His hand comes down at you hard on the center of your core, rubbing between every strike as he licks deep stripes, causing your whines of ache to grow louder. âMore, Chan please. Touch my pussy more, like that.â
Your pain receptors could usually take so much pain, but with Chan, youâd sacrifice your nerves just to have him cum covering every inch of your body.Â
Swiftly, he reveals his upper body. Taut, firm muscles, packed in every region. Gleaming with sweat, his honey glazed abs flexes from the tension in his stomach. God, it was better than you ever imagined.
You watch as his strong arms pull you closer in his mouth. He latches on you like a leech, draw circles, finger fucking you until youâre drawing out his name in short bursts. Your jaw drops slack, clenching around his tongue, and pressing himself against you until youâre close. Oh, so close.
He pulls off at the worst moment and before you could protest, you taste your arousal on his tongue, feeling him pull off your blouse in the process. Tits in either of his hands, he roughly squeezes them, pinching tight at your stiff peaks enough for you to let out high pitched screeches. âChan hurts!â
âGood.â He takes one in his mouth, nibbling one in his teeth before pinching the other one just as hard as before. Youâre stuck between pain and pleasure, but as liquid escapes past your legs and the victor is clear.
âMy titsâŠtaste so sweetâŠlike honey.â he mumbles.
You feel loved, worshiped, wet. You were wrapped around his finger, and if you get to be soe lucky, heâd feel that same way about you. After heâs done swelling your skin, heâs escorting you to what clearly is your room despite the first time of him being there and he dumps you on the bed.
âAss in front, right now.â
Promptly, you do as he says, getting on all fours on the bed, lifting your ass welcome for him to take.
âSpread wider. I want to see that pretty pussy.â
Your legs naturally part further, the pigment of your sensitive flesh clear on display. Chan takes initiative. Putting himself between your divide, his tongue finding that familiar sweetness he parted with only a few minutes ago. âYou taste so fucking good. I forgot all about saying that while in there earlier. You seem to do that to me.â
His hands come over the flesh of your ass, the sting of his hand is momentary before his tongueâs presence takes over, tasting you, inhaling you delicious scent, âCondom?â He manages to breathe out.
You shake your head, perspiration trailing your forehead. âBut Iâm clean, and on the pill. Like I said, you can do anything with me.â
Chan is blown over with a sense of relief, fishing his erection before lining up at your slit. He takes full strokes inside you, achingly slow, and you quiver at the fullness but whine when youâre immediately empty. He does that repeatedly, giving you the sensation before he rips it from you in mere seconds.
Yo pound your frustrated fists in the mattress. âChan give me your cock⊠I want you please..â
âReally, Is it me you want?â He teases, âOr it is my cock fucking so deep in your pussy you feel it in your mouth?â
Vivid images in your head, you shudder at the depth of his now husky voice, âI want that from you. Only you. Please, I want you to cum in meâŠâ
âShit.â Hearing that made close already. âF-fine. Just shut the fuck up.â
He thrust in you, finding a pace to reside in. His mouth makes an o-shape at the clench of your wall. âFuck wet pussy,ââslapââwet, tight. All for me.â
Chan recalling your moans laced with ecstasy. Hearing you, watching the recoil of your ass hitting his lap, it was something he could get used to, but he could try. He forces his knees on the bed, pushing deeper inside you. He finds your hair before pulling, pushing you into to the mattress and muffling your moans until they melt into an oblivion.
âThat reminds me,â he thinks to bring up, not minding the fact you were drowning in the duvet, âwhat is it you like being called?â
You muffle a response but if you were being honest, you could hardly think with his weight pushed back into you.
âCome on. What is it? Pick your poison.â He slows his pace, a hard, deep stroke taken with every term of endearment, âBaby? Sweetheart? Angel?â
You moan, but not enough.
He blinks, thinking itâs going somewhere when a light bulb goes up in his head. âMmh, let's try this then. Clench harder, slut.â
You moan even louder, immediately following his command. He then pounds harder in you, lacking any clear remorse as his language becomes grunts, calling you âslutâ, âwhore,â âfuckhole,â every name in the book until you buck at his hips.
Shake as hard as an earthquake, saying his name, speaking your orgasm into existence. Itâs all you feel as your vision becomes further away from the comprehensive. You become a lifeless body that takes every second as if you never would again, collapsing on the bed.Â
Chan, a man with solutions, flips you on your back. A leg of yours comes up on his chest, ankle over his shoulder and he bottoms out inside you, another tidal wave that jumpstart your adrenaline. âIâm not fucking done with you yet. You said youâd be mine and you will be for as long as I want.â
Your leg takes his side as he folds into you, lips messily meeting yours, tongue tasting the inside of your mouth, he takes you even deeper and your way to feel can't be described as anything else but bliss. You caress his face, while his hand reconnected with your neck. Youâre trailing down to feel down his torso, the pads of his fingers pushing against the column of your neck tighter. Life leaving your body, you count each ab, cup each peck, palm over each stiff peak, and trace over each muscle. If you could leave earth by this method, you would. Your voice is raspy, but takes no break from praising him.Â
âYouâre fucking my pussy so good, feel so fucking good in my hands. Donât. Fucking. Stop.â
âYou like that,â kissing you in a curt repetitive action, sweeter than intended, âcan you takeâŠmyâŠcum?â
âYes,â you frantically nod, âcum in me. I want all your cum in me. Breed me please. I want you, only you, to fuck me, empty out in me, and repeat.â
His load is as warm as a home cooked meal, shooting in you, jerking into your body in a well-practiced motion. His body embraces you, closing in on you, while he tucks you in tight. You only remember the smile on his face when he cums. It looks like love in his eyes, warmth, and you are positive that thatâs what it is because you're looking at him the same way. It feels like a perfect happy ending.
But nothing is over until Chan says it is over.
That day turned into night before you know it and all youâve done is be in each other arms and fucking your shared cum back into places they belong. Despite the performance, Chan ended up being a gentleman, asking you where your spare clean towels were and helping you clean up the mess youâve made. All the time and energy drained you both and with the lack of motivation to cook, you both called food to be delivered.
In an attempt to be presentable, you take the shirt he once wore and display it on yourself, his scent enveloping you like it were his embrace. That meant Chan had to walk around topless, and by George, that was quite the sight. You join him on the couch. His arm slings over your side, tenderly kissing your face as you feel up his body. You couldnât help but grin like a love stricken puppy, memorizing every dent of every chiseled muscle, appreciating its entirety. âYouâre so fucking sexy.â
Chan hums, before muffling a thanks and taking your kiss-swollen lips in his. âI think youâre sexy.â
You giggle, reciprocating, already finding yourself straddling his lap, and that erection thatâs already gone and inflated himself. This man had it all didnât he?
Then it dawned on you. Maybe too late, but it did.
You part from him, eyes furrowed in worry.
Concern is written all over his face, and he curls your hair behind his ear, âwhatâs wrong?â
âWhat are we going to do about Chanmi?â
His expression soon matches yours as he sighs. His hand comes behind your head, kissing foreheads, and curls up in a reassuring smile. âIâm sure sheâll be happy for us.â
âAnd If she isnât?â
His hands tighten on the fabric of the shirt. âSheâll just have to.â
âSheâs my best friend.â
âAnd sheâs my sister. And Iâm her only brother. We are two people she cares about and weâre happy together. Why wouldnât she be happy?â
Your lips curl up in a small smile. âWeâre together?â
His smile reaches his eyes. âI donât think Iâd spend all day like this with you if we werenât.â
You kiss him, chaste and slow, and letting go before the heat travels back to your head, fogging your rationale. âI like you a lot, Chan.â
âI like you a lot, Y/n.â
âWhat about your career?â
He rolls his eyes, filling rubbing circles in your hips. âWhy? Scared this superstar will run away from you for his chance in the spotlight?â
You grin mischievously, âNo, arenât you worried Iâll outshine you on the red carpet? Iâll be your date for every one of them now.âÂ
âThen theyâll have no choice but to put me in everything under the sun.â He grins back.
Love Talk - L.C


Pairings: rapper! chan x gn! reader
Genre: one night stand! au, smut (18+)...that's about it
Warnings: Protected sex!! (make sure you wrap it up especially for a one night fling), top! chan, bottom reader, language barriers, reader is foreign, reader is a questionable friend, fairly vanilla sex and that's okay, cursing, please let me know if I need to add anything else
Word Count: 459
Summary: Sometimes actions really do speak louder than words. Or, in which you find yourself underneath a foreign rapper you met a few hours ago.
A/N: Blond Chan got me feeling some kind of way so I hope you enjoy what my horny brain put together. As always feedback is ALWAYS appreciated!!

"Fuckâ you, mmph, you looked so damn hot on stage tonight," you moan against the up and coming rapper's lips, your words going through one ear of the faux blond man and out the otherâŠfor a number of reasons.Â
Chan knew he wouldn't waste an opportunity to get laid on tour. He even anticipated it, preparing a slew of pickup lines to pull on whoever he could picture moaning underneath him in his hotel room.Â
Little did he know, getting his dick wet overseas was a lot easier than he thought.
You couldn't care less about the language barrier. Who needs words anyway when you plan on using your lips to move across his body.Â
Chan hisses out of pleasure as your lips trace a long his jawline before gently suckling on the soft skin. Your hands pull his body closer to you somehow, your bodies one as he grinds his hips against you, fucking you so deliciously your head can't help but fall back onto the luxury pillows made sure to place under your head out of courtesy.Â
You had a feeling sex with Chan would be incredible just from the way his body moved effortlessly on stage as if it was his true calling. And you're proven right as he suddenly slams his hips into you harder, hitting your sweet spot with such pointed precision your brain gets flooded with pleasure, drowning completely and happily in the feeling of Chan's cock fucking you.Â
Truthfully, you had no idea who he was prior to tonight. Your best friend had dragged you along, promising dinner for a month if you joined to a concert of some dude named "Dino" she was practically in love with.
Did it break some codes to fuck yout best friend's celebrity crush? Probably. Did you care about that or the fact you knew nothing about this man and could only communicate with your bodies? No.
Why would that be a thought on your mind when you have his sweaty body on top of yours, rutting into you to chase after his release, his moans getting pitcher and shaky the closer he got.
"Cum for me, give it to me. I want you to cum so bad," you whisper out, once again your words falling on deaf ears but just the sound of your voice is enough to send him over the edge.
Chan's hips stutter as thick globs of cum shoot into the condom, your pulsating warmth helping him to ride out his climax.
The two of you pant against each other before he lifts his head to look at you with glossed over eyes. He flashes you the most addictive smile, the sight sending a shiver down your back as you listen to his words come out in the cutest accent you've ever heard.
"One more?"
AHAH SO THATS WHAT SCARED ME AFTER STAYIN UP ALL NIGHT READING END OF WORLD AU'S
honestly its kinda worth the scare now....
coming home again


pairing: non-idol!dino x fem!reader, ft. non-idol!coworkers!performance unit
genre: fluff! established relationship au.
warnings: food mentions (candies n snacks). a lil prank on chan from his coworkers.
word count: 1.4k~
daisy's notes: had chan not woken up n realized what was going on, they would have kept going btw.

There was a video awaiting you from Jun when you woke up this morning, followed by a âhappy birthday!â and several little birthday-themed emojis. When you tapped it to play it, you were immediately greeted with what looked like a hotel hallway and the soft sound of Soonyoung giggling in the background.Â
Ah. This was from this morning. You found yourself smiling already, curling into your blankets. Chan told you that his flight would be leaving this morning. About an hour ago, now that you were checking the time: which meant heâd be home soon enough.Â
Jun lightly knocked on another door, only for it to immediately open to Minghao, who pressed a finger against his lips. Both Jun and Soonyoung followed him into the hotel room, revealing where Chan was still fast asleep. The sun had already risen in the sky, stretching through the sliver of curtain that was open to rest a long slant against the foot of Chanâs bed. Even asleep, you always thought he was prettyâmessy hair and drool and all. He was your mess to love, after all. There was a little plush otter hugged against him, one half of the pair that you bought him back when you first started dating. Yours was next to you now, and you silently pulled it into your arms as you kept watching.
âChan?â Soonyoung had quietly slipped past Jun, reaching forward to shake his arm. âOur flightâs been delayed.â
Immediately, Chan shot up, suddenly all too awake. âWhat? No.â He rubbed his eyes, running a hand through his hair. He stifled a yawn, looking up at Soonyoung. âIâll callââ He paused to yawn again, already moving out of bed to grab an undershirt, âIâll call the airlineâŠâ
âThereâs no planes,â Jun said. âWe tried.â
âWhat?â He squinted at Jun. Clearly, he hadnât woken up fully, completely unaware that Jun was recording all of this. âItâs okay.â He slipped the undershirt over his head, stepping into the bathroom. Chan recoiled as he flipped the light on, quietly groaning. âIâll call.â
âChannie, thereâs no planes anymore,â Soonyoung nudged past the camera again to stand on the opposite side of the door. âThey got rid of them.â
A moment later, Chan raised his head, brows furrowed. âWhat?â
âThey got rid of all the planes,â Soonyoung reached out, ruffling Chanâs hair. âYouâll have to swim homeââ
All at once, it hit him that they were teasing him again. He shoved at Soonyoungâs hand, turning back to the mirror with a pout. âYouâre terrible.â Then he paused, looking at Soonyoung again. â... Our flightââ
âItâs still on time,â Minghao spoke up. âSay hi to her, by the way.âÂ
Chan looked at Minghao for a moment, only to then notice that Jun was still holding up his phone. You saw the perplexed reaction on his face melt into realization, and he groaned again. âDonât send this to herââ
âToo late,â Soonyoung pulled Chan into his arms, âitâs our birthday present to her.â
âMore like a present for yourselves,â Chan grumbled, but he looked at the camera. âDonât make fun of me,â he said to the others, and then it felt like he was looking at you with the way he softened a little. âHi, honey. Iâll be home soon.â Then he paused, face flushed as he realized the company he had. âIâll say it when I see you, okay? I love you!â
The video cut off at the sounds of all three men starting to tease your boyfriend, but you just smiled to yourself. You saved the video, going back to your messages to thank Jun for both the video and the birthday wishes, before finally crawling out of bed. A few other messages awaited youâone from Seungkwan a little after midnight, wishing you a happy birthday before anyone else could, another from Vernon asking if the four of you would still be getting dinner tonight⊠and then several from Chan. A selca from when he and his three coworkers were settled and waiting for their flight, followed by a message saying everything had been going well so far.
Another picture of the four of them squeezed together in front of a mirror, Chan smiling confidently at you. I canât wait to see you soon.
Tucking your phone into your sweatpants pocket, you made your way into the rest of the apartment, smile falling once you realized how much you needed to clean up. Right⊠Things always seemed to fall into disarray when one of you was gone. Last time you went on a trip with a few friends, Chan had apologized to you when you came back to a slight mess in the form of beer cans and takeout from when he drank with his friends the night before. It wasnât a big deal, to be honest: your flight had been earlier than expected and heâd always meant to clean up before you came home. So you put yourself to work for a bit, stealing Chanâs headphones so that you could listen to music as you worked. It wasnât the ideal way to start your birthday, but itâd pass the time.Â
Today had been planned out in advance: youâd welcome Chan home, spend a little time with him before he went to unpack and catch up on sleep (work conferences always drained him), and then youâd head out for a birthday lunch with your friends. With the apartment tidied up, you glanced at your phone to see if there were any updates from Chan. When you found none, you turned to getting ready for the day. A hot shower, followed by a little pampering before you dried your hair and started to get dressedâŠ
Only for the doorbell to eventually chime while you were putting in a pair of earringsâa set that matched a pair of Chanâs, actually. Theyâd been a present to you when he discovered how much you loved matching him. No doubt youâd come back home hours from now to find Chan matching your outfit, too. Cheesy as it may be, he liked looking like he belonged right beside your side, a matching pair. You made your way out of your bedroom and into the living room, where Chan was shutting the door behind him.
When he turned back to face you, he smiled like heâd just seen a ray of sunshine after a year of storms. Chan dropped a paper bag by his feet, and then opened his arms for you to come hug him. âHappy birthday. I missed you.â
âYouâre dry.â
He blinked in confusion. âHuh?â
You giggled, making your way over to him. âYou didnât swim home? I thought all the planes were gone.â
With a snort, he closed the distance between the two of you, squeezing the life out of you as he hugged you tight. âI would have if I had to!â He swayed a little with you, âYouâre all so meanâeven on your birthday, you bully meââ
You just wrapped your arms around him, kissing the side of his neck. âI missed you, too, you goof.â
He drew back, immediately turning to the paper bag beside him. âThereâs more in my bag,â he said, âbut⊠I bought you some things.â
Accepting the bag from him, you gave him a quick peck on the lips and thanked him before making your way over to the couch. The tissue paper crinkled as you rifled through it, only to find an assortment of Japanese candy at the bottom of it. Different flavors of Pocky and Kit-Kats, hard candies of varying brands, gummies⊠Chan settled into the spot next to you, watching the way your eyes lit up.Â
âI also bought a few things for the apartment,â he said. âAnd a new friend for our kidsâŠâ
In other words, a new plushie thatâll likely sit with the otters. You called them your âchildrenâ once and Chan never let it go, happy to have something he could lovingly tease you over. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side as he rested his head against your own.
âI really did, by the way.â He paused. âMiss you. We should take a trip there sometime,â he leaned in to kiss your cheek. âJust the two of us.â
With a hum, you snuggled against him. âIâd like that,â you said, shutting your eyes for a moment as you savored this little moment with your love.Â
Chan kissed the corner of your lips one last time. âHappy birthday,â he murmured. âIâm glad you were born.â

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo
PLSSSSSSSSSSS oh my god đ„čđ„č
Goodbye, Fourth of July (18+)



pairing: lee chan x fem!reader
genre: college au, best friends to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut (MDNI!!), hints of crack?
description: it's the fourth of july when you realize you're in love with your best friend. unfortunately though, it seems that he doesnt love you back, and this knowledge sends you spiraling. you push him away, but chan just wants to know why you're so upset
warnings: v v sad, pining, brief mention of s/a, chan is kinda dumb in this fr, reader is dramatic af tho, unprotected sex, desperation, praise kink, finger sucking, titty sucking, use of petnames (baby, pretty girl, sweet heart, good girl, cumslut once), mentions of alcohol and weed, irene is chans gf in this but shes not a villain shes mother fr
quotes from my proofreader: "my soul left my body", "no this is too personal", "i feel like im having a panic attack"
wordcount: 8.2k
Fireworks exploded across the sky the night your life was ruined.Â
Down the gray, dim corridors of your campus where room after room was ablaze with idle lights, daring to imitate the stars above them. Every crevice of the left wing was filled with the noise and decorum of a college frat party, where people lived out their own lives simultaneously to yours - yours, that was shattering into millions of pieces onto Yoon Jeonghanâs kitchen floor. Every moment of teasing, of lingering touches, of adoring smiles, of secret memories and exchanged glances came hurdling onto you on the 4th of July, red solo cup long forgotten in your hand. You were in love with your best friend.Â
âIâm in love with Chan,â you whispered, looking blankly across the room to see him leaned back against the couch, flashing a bright smile at Mingyu beside him. His blonde mullet - the one, that he had been so terrified to get, and only did so, when you told him he would look great - was tousled and spiky across his neck. He was wearing a red bomber jacket over a white tee, and he looked so good you thought you might cry.Â
Soonyoung wouldnât have heard your confession - was it a confession? Admittance? Defeat? - had he not been standing right beside you. He thanked God that your words were not lost to the music and to the ambiance, to lay and die in the sticky, hardwood floor. âWhat?!â
He was yelling over the music. You turned over to him, mouth cracked into a frown. âWhat?! Youâre in love with Chan?! Seriously?!â He started bouncing and giggling, ignoring your hands coming to grab onto his forearms. He had predicted this exactly five months ago.Â
âShut up, Soonyoung, seriously!â You were yelling too, barely overcoming the booming voice of Kesha on the speakers. Bathed in pink light, letting your nails trail over the kitchen counter, you felt your heart becoming soft and trembling.
Your life was ruined.Â
âWhat the fuck am I gonna do?â you cried, feeling Soonyoung spin you at your shoulders until he was right in front of you, alcohol dampening the air between you.
âWhat do you mean? Youâre gonna confess to him. You guys are literally in love with each otherâ He said it as if it was the easiest thing in the world. As if you hadnât been best friends since freshman year; as if you didnât know his favorite animal cracker shape and the exact model of his everyday sneakers.Â
âI canât do that.âÂ
âYes, you can.âÂ
âI can?âÂ
âCOMINGGG THROUGHHHHHHHH!â Frat-house dork Seokmin pushed between you and Soonyoung with a sky-high Vernon on his trail. Vernon shimmied apologetically, eyes sunken and red. âGetting cross-faded,â he supplied helpfully.Â
âAs you should,â Soonyoung mumbled, slightly peeved in his tone, but Seokmin and Vernon seemed too intensely high to notice his disdain. You were too floaty to be offended by their sudden intrusion. The party, the floor, the music, the stench of sweat had become distant and you felt very alone with your heart. And Kwon Soonyoung, of course.
âYou can! Right now! Iâve been telling you for months!â He shook you by your shoulders, apparently sensing your distance. You looked up at him with furrowed brows, tugging at the strapless end of your short, glittery dress. âBut heâs-â you inhaled sharply. âHeâs not gonna love me back, Soon.â Soonyoung cut you off with a scoff. âHeâs so in love with you! He looks at you like youâre the only girl in theâŠâÂ
Soonyoung trailed off, eyes peering past you into the crowd. âOh shit,â His eyes widened, settled on you, then flicked back up. What the fuck was he looking at? âUh, as I was-â you moved to look, struggling against his suddenly deadly grip on your shoulders â- no, donât look!â He moved to stop you, but it was too late. You scanned the crowd with narrowed eyes, finding yourself confused as to what heâd been crying about. That is until you saw him. Red bomber now discarded, Chan had removed himself from the couch and was currently grinding on your biochem-classmate, Irene.Â
Oh. Okay.Â
You felt like cold hands grabbed onto your throat from within, as it contracted and tears stung your eyes. There it went, your heart and all its pieces on the floor, and weighing you down like an anchor, was the knowledge that youâd spend the rest of your life picking them up.Â
âGod fucking damnit. This is awful, Iâm awful,â your head was spinning, and you could barely make out how your fishnetted legs started moving, let alone how the tips of Soonyoungâs fingers brushed against your bare back to pull you back to him. You needed to get out. Out, out, out.Â
You squeezed through the tight crowd, avoiding the gaze of your classmate Seungcheol, who tried to smile at you from where he stood. This had to be some sort of mistake. Some sort of illusion brought upon you by the rhythmic movements and the loose slip of alcohol. Maybe you were hormonal? You didnât know, but you couldnât think while some bass-boosted playlist built dams of pressure on the sides of your head.
You finally squeezed through the door, closing it behind you and locking away that cursed, wretched memory. The further you got, the fainter the image of him. By the time you were slipping out of the hallway and into the yard, you could almost convince yourself that it was a mistake. A foolish moment, that you would tuck away and keep in a locked chest.Â
God, you were cold, shivering in your scrappy fabrics, as you slid down the brick wall by a flower bed, staring into the sky. It was the fourth of July, and your chest had exploded in fireworks while looking at your best friend. Every line had simultaneously been crossed and uncrossed.Â
You had realized it just a few minutes ago, just standing in the kitchen, when Wonwoo from history had asked you for a lighter. It had just been a graze, but youâd still felt it, in the faraway reaches of your purse. Amongst crumbs, concealer, a couple unraveled cigarettes and wired earphones with only one working side. What was that? Youâd handed Wonwoo the lighter and then dug around for it again. A little slip of paper, edges soft and worn. You pulled it up.Â
It was just a drawing. A little scribbled dinosaur. God, you couldnât even remember when heâd given it to you. But there you were smiling at it. And then looking at him. And then you knew.Â
You started crying. Hot, fat tears dripped down your cheeks, and your lips were trembling, and suddenly your body was stuttering and convulsing against the wall, and you were in love with your best friend and he was obviously not in love with you.Â
âY/n?âÂ
You snapped your head towards the door and the person you wanted to see the least in that moment (that thought made you cry even more, because when had you ever wanted anyone but him by your side when you were upset?) was peeking his blonde haired head through the door. Chan had such a heavy frown, looking down at you from the wide opened doorway.Â
âHey, hey, whatâs wrong, sweetheart?â He was immediately crouching down, hand burning hot on your back, stroking the muscles. Another hand on your knee and it was all too much, so you pushed him away. He backed off immediately, and you wished you missed the flash of hurt on his face. He looked at you with so much worry. âWhat happened?âÂ
He was sitting across from you on the pavement and you couldnât bear to see him, lit geometrically by the moonlight and the explosions in the sky, brows creased. Averting your eyes, you fiddled with the edge of your dress and sniffled. What were you supposed to say? It was hard to say anything. You fought down the tears pressing at your eyes again, swallowing your emotions before you looked at him again, almost robotically.
âIâm fine,â you said, nodding, and only adding more when his face twisted in confusion. You were always honest with each other, he thought, why were you lying? âItâs stupid, Iâm.. Iâm on my period and my hormones are just.. Bleugh.â You found it in yourself to giggle.
Silence, only decorated with the constant stream of fireworks and distant laughter of drunk college kids. Chan studied you for a moment, legs crossed and arms slung over his knees. âCheol said you looked upset.âÂ
âYeah, I, uh, I was thinking of that sad dog movie.âÂ
Another pause. âOld Yeller.âÂ
The distance between you had never felt wider and you were certain Chan could feel it too.Â
âYou know you can tell me anything right?â You wished your laughter hadnât been so heart-achingly bitter. He looked so confused. All he wanted to do was make you feel alright, why wouldnât you let him?
A nod. âYeah,â you breathed in deeply, tear-streaked makeup drying from the gentle wind. âI know.âÂ
The air had become so thick, you had to gulp down breaths. Chan cocked his head to the side and looked at you soulfully. You were staring at your knees, nervously playing with your fingers, and a flush had crept up your neck to the very tops of your shiny cheeks. He sighed. âI can get, uh,â he hesitated for a moment, âI can get Soonyoung down here. If you want.â You nodded before he was even done talking. Anything was better than sitting across from him - not now. This time you knew better than to look at his face, because you knew your entire facade would break down the moment youâd catch the frown on his face at those words.Â
The moment Chan left, you sighed so deeply, relief and despair coming in a pair to crash over you like a wave. Soonyoung came not two minutes later and, ever the great comforter, immediately tried to make you laugh, sitting in the grass right in front of you.
âOh my god,â he put on his best Jennifer Coolidge voice, âyou look like the fourth of July!â _____________________________
Your first instinct was to hide - to turn over a stone and lay under it without breathing. Maybe then, if you separated yourself from him the feelings would simply dissipate, like perfume throughout the day. But you and Chan had a ridiculous amount of classes together, - something you used to enjoy and cherish - and every interaction had become half-awkward.Â
What also didnât help is that him and Irene did not seem to just be a party fling. You were walking the halls with him, backpack slung across your shoulder, and listening to him drone on and on about a date.
âI think itâs the blonde,â he explained, âI think she likes the blond.â He peeked his eyes over to you, as you walked and you nodded. âIt looks good,â you smiled, heart crushing when his face lit up, that sharky smile playing on his lips. âRight? But I donât know what to wear. I donât think she liked my jacket. You know, at the party.â At the mention of the party, his giddy expression faded a little, eyes flicking back to look at you again.
Youâd been different since then. A little quiet and every word a little strained, every breath a huff, every smile somewhat unable to reach your eyes. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. For the life of him, Chan couldnât. Youâd told him when you got a tampon stuck a couple months ago, youâd told him about your awful dates, about your most embarrassing moments in your life. Something had to be serious, he thought, watching the way your eyes had become darker and sunken, for you to shut him out completely.
âY/n,â he said and his voice was abruptly so, so soft. His hand came to cradle your own, stopping you in your tracks. Your eyebrows cinched together when you looked at the way his thumb caressed your knuckles. âYou are okay, right?â and all of a sudden he was so close to you, head bopping downwards to catch your eyes, a little breath becoming humid on your cheek. For just a split second, he saw how scared you were, an emotion that took up all the space in your head, widened eyes darting up to his. Then it was gone. You smiled a tight line, ripping your hand from his. âIâm good. Iâd be better if we actually made it to class on time.âÂ
You were bouncing away and for a few moments he stood still, watching you.Â
âAlright,â he whispered to himself.
_____________________________
 You and Chan met through Seungcheol. It was your first year and you were fresh-faced, young and a totally different person. It was your first biochem project and the teacher had paired you with Seungcheol - Seungcheol, who you just so happened to know was amongst the most popular guys at school. He was sweet though, if not a little slow, but he was excited to get into the project and had invited you to his place to study. You had graciously accepted, seeing as your roommate-situation at the time was less than ideal.Â
You had just hunkered down with stacks of books and laptops open on his desk, when Seungcheol got a call; to this day youâre not sure about the specifics of it, and all the information youâd later been able to pry from Seungcheol was that âJeonghan was in troubleâ. Whatever the case, the man had taken the phone and immediately taken on a crease in his forehead and a small frown on his lips, before apologizing profusely and promising that heâd be back in 20 minutes or so.Â
And there you were, wearing a dress and hairclips and sitting idly at his desk, while his roommate sat, just a few feet from you, on his bed with a controller and a headset on. That was the first time you saw Lee Chan. He had sharp eyes that you found intimidating at the time - especially with the focused grimace he wore, something you later found endearing. And, of course, you knew he was popular as well. How couldnât he be, when his muscles were showing through his t-shirt, and he looked beautiful even in the domestic state you found him in. Maybe especially in that situation.Â
âDâyou wanna see me play?â heâd asked, eyes not even leaving the screen. âUm,â your voice was meek, âsure.âÂ
Seungcheol didnât come home for another three hours. The sky turned from a bright blue into an orange hue outside the campus-curtains, and you sat cross-legged beside Chan on his bed, watching him play Overwatch. Had it been anyone else, you were sure this wouldâve been the longest, most awkward three hours of your life. But for whatever reason, you and Chan just clicked. It was all laughter and smiles, and it felt like you had known each other forever. Fate had whisked the two of you together with a gentle push. That was two years ago.Â
Chan defied all your expectations. Surely, a young man who was attractive and popular would be an asshole, youâd thought, but he was so sweet, something that was most apparent when he smiled and laughed, eyes becoming crescents and toothy grin becoming sharp at the upturned edges.Â
Maybe youâd always liked him. Youâd started reflecting on your relationship after that party, and came to realize that thereâd always been a faint mist in your chest. A soft hum that drummed within your ribcage, when you saw him. It was warm, pleasant and constant when you felt his warmth at your side.Â
And sure, your relationship had had its moments. You distinctly remembered sitting between his legs while watching a movie once, and how youâd been so uncertain if he was okay with the skinship. His face behind your ear, you heard the smile in his voice, as his hands ran along your arms: âItâs okay, N/n. Iâm cool with this if you are.â
You found yourself thinking about that often, but now there was a distinct pain to the memory. It was especially painful, when the gap between you and Chan was widening with every day. He tried to reach out, tried to catch you in the halls, but you were always âbusyâ.Â
Chan caught on to the fact that you were avoiding him when you started showing up late to classes, just so you wouldnât have to walk with him; hear him talk about Irene, while that once soft drum had become a marching band in your chest. So you scrambled inside 5 minutes late, much to the dismay of your professors, and found a spot with some random classmate - far away from Chan. Youâd have your eyes turned to the board, but you couldnât focus, not really. Like a constant thorn in your side, you felt Chanâs sharp eyes across the room, boring into with such an intensity you thought you might catch on fire. Scribbling useless notes and focusing your energy - what little energy you had - on the class, you determinedly avoid his eyes. Had you seen them, never once darting astray from your form, youâd see the tenderness they held. âWhy are you avoiding me?â His eyes said.Â
And then: âWhy are you avoiding me?â his mouth said, out of breath from chasing after you in your hurried exit. You turned to him, almost bleeding into the blue of the accented-wallpaper. His eyes softened at your wounded expression. You were gently ripping apart at the wish to see him and be around him, with simultaneous urge to ignore him and become free from his scrutinizing gaze. He would never not know that something was wrong.
He scanned the crowded hallway, and gently, almost as if testing the waters (which he hadnât felt the need to do in years) placed a hand on your upper arm. âCome on.âÂ
You gave in. God, it was so easy to give in. You missed him. You missed him like a fish might miss water, had it been taken away from it. You missed him like a priest misses God, when his presence ebbs away and the sky is suddenly so very empty. So it was so easy to be led on, to sit down in the passenger of his car and just close your eyes and enjoy how it felt to be beside him. Chan scanned you as he drove, laying there with closed eyes, willing yourself to not look at him again, and realize you had to throw this all away.Â
He said nothing that entire car ride. Maybe he sensed the desperate need you felt to just have this silence. You clung to it as if it were tangible, as if someone would take it away. He would, once you entered his apartment. Seungcheol was nowhere to be seen. You placed yourself on bed and played with the fraying edges of his IKEA duvet cover.
âI miss you.â he said. You sighed, pursing your lips and looking at your fingers. âI miss you too.âÂ
âYouâre avoiding me,â he said, only a faceless presence in your peripheral.Â
âIâm not avoiding y-...â you trailed off when he crouched down in front of you, your entire vision cursed (or blessed?) with his frustrated face. âYou are,â he said, eyes boring into yours. You trembled. âIâm not, Iâm just busy.â He backed away, sulking, and you tried not to make it obvious that you heaved in a shaky breath from the proximity. âI can tell when youâre lying, you know?âÂ
You laid down on the bed, arms crossing over your chest as if you were a corpse. Was there a way out of this, you wondered. Every glance, every touch, and every word that dropped from his mouth poked and prodded at you sadistically.Â
âIâm not lying.âÂ
You heard fumbling and raised your head to see Chan, having discarded his shirt, putting on a new one and you cringed at how your heart sped up, seeing his toned stomach, before it disappeared under a sweater. âWhat are you doing?â you asked. He sighed. He glanced at you before studying himself in the full-length mirror Seungcheol had stolen from Mingyu.Â
âIâm going on a date with Irene in, like, twenty minutes.âÂ
A pause. You sat up.
âOh.âÂ
He went on, throwing around scattered clothes and grappling for a cologne in his bag. âIâm sorry, I canât cancel this, I donât think sheâll really appreciate it,â he laughed a little. Throwing his head over his shoulder, his smile faded when he sensed your sorrow. His heart hurt then, so he moved, freshly spritzed with the cologne you bought him last Christmas, to stand in front of you on the bed. Your breath hitched when his hand found your cheek and he was suddenly dripping with sincerity and an emotion you really hoped wasnât pity. âI just- I really wanted to talk to you, Y/n. Iâm really worried about you.â You leaned into his hand pathetically, almost whimpering against it. You missed how his embrace felt. His thumb brushed over your cheek and he lingered there, eyes trained on you for just a moment - perhaps a moment too long - before he pulled away.
Suddenly he was putting on a jacket and ruffling his hair in the mirror again. âIf you want you can stay here until I come back? Itâll only be, like, an hour and a half, two hours. Cheol will be home soon, he can keep you company.âÂ
âYeah, maybe,â your eyes were huge, when you willed yourself to stare at the floor. Chan mustâve sensed the meekness in your voice, because he looked over at you through the mirror, a frown on his lips. âI promise weâll talk, I just- I donât wanna disappoint Irene.âÂ
It ached when you responded: âThereâs nothing to talk about, Channie. Iâm fine.âÂ
âIâll see you in a couple of hours?â you only nodded half-heartedly.Â
âBye, N/n.âÂ
âBye, Channie.âÂ
He left with a rustle of his keys, and when the door was closed, your body contracted, muscles pulling inwards until you were hugging your knees in his sheets. And you were crying because it smelled like him, and because he had held your cheek with such care, only to leave moments later for another woman. Everything you held dear, every moment you lingered on was just one-sided. Your tears were crystalline confinements for your most treasured memories with him and you were bleeding out on his bed, sliced in the heart.
It was Seungcheol who found you there like that, curling up in his roommateâs bed with painful sobs squeezing your whole body. You told him. Maybe you shouldnât have, but you did. âI love him,â you cried, and Seungcheol stroked your back, as he listened. âAnd he doesnât love me back.âÂ
You apologized abashedly when you had calmed down, but Seungcheol only tutted and shook his head. âThatâs what friends are for,â heâd said and patted your hair, and you giggled even though you felt all silly with your red face and your puffy eyes. The older man promised not to say anything, and you found yourself trusting him completely. You bid your goodbyes and felt a little lighter.
When Chan came home a heavy duvet of regret settled in his stomach. You were gone, only the faint mist of your perfume left behind in his room. When night fell, he slept on a bed stained with your tears. _____________________________
A week passed and you spent every moment alone in your dorm room, ignoring papers and deadlines in favor of lying completely still under the covers. Soonyoung came over with food every once in a while, and always left devastated at how completely disarranged you were. He felt powerless and if there was one thing Kwon Soonyoung didnât like, it was feeling powerless.
That was how you found yourself in a very John Mulaney-like situation on a monday afternoon, sitting before Soonyoung and, surprisingly, Seungkwan, Soonyoungâs roommate, in a nearby cafĂ©.Â
âWhat is this?â you asked, arms crossed and leaned back in your seat, unimpressed. Soonyoung smiled sheepishly, sliding a paper across the table. It read âInterventionâ in big, bubbly letters, colored with cheap highlighters. âAn intervention?â you said incredulously.Â
âYes, weâre worried about you!â
âHeâs worried about you. Iâm skipping physics for this,â Seungkwan butted in.
âThe community is worried about you,â Soonyoung gave a harsh glare to the younger boy, who was mirroring your distaste for the current situation. âSo weâre hosting an intervention.âÂ
âThis is bullshit,â you said. âAgreed,â came Seungkwan.Â
âAlright, you two! Let Daddy explain,â Hoshi waved his arms in outrage and the two of you groaned at the word choice. âY/n. I am sick and tired of watching you cry and cry and sit at home over a boy who is frickenâ in love with you!â
âDid you just say âfrickenâ?âÂ
âUnimportant. The point is get your act together and tell him or get over him!â Soonyoung was determined. While you felt his point of view was certainly unfair to you, your demeanor gave way a little. He was right, you knew. This was ruining you more than youâd care to admit. âYou are worth so much more than this.âÂ
âAs much as I hate to contribute to this, Soonyoung has been telling me all about.. Your situation, and I have to say I agree. I thought you and Chan were dating until Soonyoung told me this,â Seungkwan said, smiling sympathetically at you. You frowned. âIt doesnât matter what you guys think, you know. He doesnât see me like that.. It just fucking hurts.âÂ
âIf he doesnât see you like that, then fuck him--â
âDonât say that, Soonyoung--âÂ
âYou need to put your energy into a man who will know your worth!â Soonyoung sassed and Seungkwan snapped his fingers once for emphasis, face totally blank.
âI know youâre right, okay?â you reasoned, sighing. âItâs not as simple as that. I know you want to help, Soonyoung, but.. I just need time.âÂ
Soonyoung deflated, but he understood. I guess he was a little powerless in this situation. Even Seungkwan, who definitely was not thrilled about missing physics, smiled sorely. You watched them and hated yourself for bringing worry to everyone around. Like an oil spill in the ocean, your black mass infected everything around you. Theyâd done nothing and here you were, parading your sadness like My Chemical Romance in 2006.Â
âThank you anyway.â _____________________________
Chan was theorizing. There were only so many things that could happen so suddenly, that could make you push him away like this. He hadnât seen you in a week and heâd begun biting his nails again. Every waking moment had become consumed with this question: why? Why were you acting like this? Irene would pointedly comment on how quiet he was being, and his lies came like flowing water.Â
Chan was certain that heâd never experienced anything harder than watching you unravel everyday. Every morning more disheveled than the last, every smile more dull. Let me help you, heâd think, watching you slump in your seat on the other side of the room, running an unsteady hand over your face. Youâd even found a way to avoid him after class. Day after day heâd run after you when you sped out of class, and when he reached the hallway where students were pouring out, youâd be gone like a faint ghost.Â
Irene ended things with him over a text. âI just donât see us working out anymore,â itâd read and lying in his room heâd sighed quietly. He couldnât bring himself to care. The text diverted his attention for only a minute, before he was staring at the ceiling again, thinking of you. It had to have something to do with him somehow. But no matter how much he scrutinized every interaction youâd had, he came up blank.Â
âAre you okay?â It was Seungcheol, standing in the doorway and hanging his jacket on their clothing rack while eyeing him. Heâd hardly heard him come in. Chan heaved a sigh, long lines of worry oozing out of him.Â
âY/nâs been acting really weird with me. I canât figure out if itâs something I did,â Chan squeezed his eyes shut. âI just want her to be okay.âÂ
Seungcheol frowned sympathetically. âMaybe you should just leave her alone.â Chanâs eyes sprung open and he grimaced, before ruffling the sheets where he sat up on the bed. Seungcheol was settling himself onto his bed, phone in hand and head against the headboard. âWhy are you saying that?âÂ
For a moment, Seungcheol flashed his brown eyes with a hint of âoh shitâ in them, before they relaxed and he regained composure. âI donât know, maybe she just needs some time away from you.âÂ
A pause swallowed the room. Chan studied his friend with furrowed brows. âDid she talk to you?âÂ
âUh-âÂ
âYou know why sheâs acting like this!â Chan raised his voice, weeks of frustration crackling in the pit of his stomach. He stood up, so he could tower over Seungcheolâs bed. âRelax, man, I donât know anything-âÂ
âYou do! Tell me whatâs going on, Seungcheol-â Only a few words had been shared, but theyâd tugged at the right strings, and suddenly Chanâs muscles were tightened as they buried into Seungcheolâs collar. The older man scowled and wrapped his hands around his roommateâs wrists in warning. Chanâs hold untightened and unscrewed and he slumped in on himself like a piece of paper, âplease, Seungcheol, please. Iâm going crazy.âÂ
Seungcheolâs gaze softened. He pushed the boyâs hands away and sat up on the bed, voice a low, solemn grumble. âI canât tell you.âÂ
âFucking please, Seungcheol. What if something happened to her? At that party. I keep thinking about it, how I wasnât with her, and what if some asshole harassed her or something. I googled it and Google said women can feel lost, lonely and embarrassed over stuff like that,â Chan started pacing. âAnd then I was thinking what if it was a friend of ours? And maybe thatâs why she doesnât want to tell me, but, of course, Iâd support her in anything she told me.âÂ
Chan stilled in his wandering across the narrow floorspace. âCan you at least tell me sheâs okay?âÂ
All sharp eyes and blonde hair and panted breaths Chan stood in the middle of the room and waited for Seungcheol to tell him that you were okay. Chan wouldâve even been at peace with Seungcheol telling him that you never wanted to see him again, fuck, as long as you were fine and you still laughed and smiled, even if it was with Soonyoung and not him.
But the answer didnât come. Seungcheol frowned and fiddled with his watch. âI donât think so, man.âÂ
Whatever ties had held Chan back before snapped. He stood still for maybe three seconds in the unlit room, before his body burst into action and he was scrambling for his jacket and keys.
âFuck this.âÂ
Sprinting down monotonous corridors, a hard-headed Chan let wisps of blonde hair flow behind as the air kissed his cheeks. He wore the crease in his brow that had become permanently etched onto his features. Chan had a one track mind; maybe thatâs why things didnât - wouldnât - work out with Irene. Currently, the record spinning was you and heâd gone damn near insane, so this time heâd made up his mind. He was not leaving until you talked to him. Whisking past door after door in the quiet nighttime, catching Wonwoo exiting some random dorm and smiling sheepishly, he ignored him and braved forward.Â
It was not until he was standing right in front of your door that he hesitated. The door framed his figure entirely, trapping him within its confines. What if Seungcheol was right? What if he was making things worse?Â
But for Chan, he wasnât sure that he could go any lower. Every day had become a new rock bottom, every day that you avoided him, every moment wondering what he could have possibly done. He missed your smile. So then he was knocking at your door.
âFuck off, Soonyoung, Iâm not going to anymore interventions!â you yelled, voice hoarse from beyond the door. Intervention? Had you developed a drug problem? He knocked again and heard you groan, before heavy footsteps thumped towards him.Â
âWhat do you want, Soonyo-â you paused, door half-creaked open. Your eyes were two moons, and your nose and cheeks were red. âChan,â you breathed, voice nasally from a stuffy nose. Chan said nothing, only pushed past you to get inside. You sniffled.
Your heart was a bomb, or maybe a firework. Chan had lit the fuse and standing before him, where he was half lit in the middle of your room, you knew it was only a matter of time before it exploded, chest blazing with a parade of colors for the fourth of July. Because it was him, a greek fucking god in your toy-decorated room, in his sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and it was you, wimpish and thoroughly out of order, in pyjama shorts and a pink sweater.Â
âCome. Here.â He wasnât asking. You nodded and took two steps, and the moment you were within arms reach he enveloped you in his chest. His arms were so strong and warm, one wrapping around your waist and the other bunching up your hair to keep you pressed into him. Your cheek bunched up against his heart, you closed your eyes and heard how fast it was beating. He was scared.Â
âTalk to me,â you could hear it, too, the fear. His voice was trembling and even though you couldnât see his face you could imagine his brown eyes glazed over and lips in a pout. The thought squeezed at your heart.Â
âIâm sorry,â you whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut at the raspiness in your voice. âDonât be, just talk to me. Please,â his voice was a wavering breath. He pulled away, head ducking down to peer into your eyes. Your cheeks burned and you looked away, becoming completely enamored with the white of his shirt, just for the sake of not seeing his eyes. Then both his hands were on your cheeks, a little harsh at first, but then softening. âLook at me.âÂ
He leaned closer, one hand straying from your cheek to hold you by the back of the head. âLook. At. Me.â he gritted his teeth and you felt the warmth of his face hitting yours. You did. You looked at him, saw him again, really, the guy youâd been avoiding and simultaneously praying closer to you standing before you like a kicked puppy. Suddenly you were crying. It felt like heâd turned you inside out.Â
âNo, no, no, donât cry, pretty, talk to me, talk to Channie, okay?â he frowned before he was pushing your face closer, nosing your cheek and hair, just a big baby in front of you, with hot and humid breaths on your freshly wetted skin when his lips brushed over it. His hand on the back of your head was only urging you closer, and his back was hunched in a long arch just so he could be with you, as close to you as possible.Â
And while his touch was bliss for a moment, the reality of it came crashing down, and your hands waved him off, taking a step back, which Chan followed with a step forward. He looked so hurt, hands held out for you to take but you shook your head.
âDonât- Donât do this to me, Chan. Not when-â you were shaking when you reached up to rub over your eyes. âNot when- Not when you have Irene to go back to.âÂ
âIrene?â He asked incredulously, almost in outrage, almost as if the thought hadnât even crossed his mind. It spurred you on. âThatâs what this is about?âÂ
âNo!â you cried, âOr- yes, I donât know.âÂ
Chan was silent for a few moments when you began pacing, hands over your eyes. âYou were jealous?âÂ
âNo- Thatâs not the point!â your lip trembled when you removed your hands and looked at him again, his arms at his sides, now that he didnât have you to hold.
âWe were never going to stop being friends, you know-â his voice was quiet and yours overpowered his easily, when you screamed at him to say: âI didnât want to be friends!âÂ
Boom goes the dynamite, indeed. Fireworks filled every crevice of your ribcage.
âBecause I love you,â you paused only to flick your eyes over to his, and you sucked in the fear. Your voice shook when you continued: âAnd I think I have for- for, like, a year? And I only realized on the fourth of July and there you were with Irene, and I just⊠And I thought if I backed off these feelings would go away, because you obviously donât-âÂ
âIrene broke up with me,â his voice was much quieter than yours. You wanted to scream and cry and yell, because what did that matter? Why did that matter when it changed nothing? But then he spoke again: âShe broke up with me because I kept thinking about you.âÂ
Silence. It hit you that Chan was not informing you, he was telling himself this.
âYeah,â he scratched at the back of his neck and chuckled dryly, âI kept being quiet on our dates, âcause I was thinking about you. I guess she sensed it.âÂ
You were looking at each other in the dim lights. He was so beautiful, cheeks shiny and soft lashes curling over his lids. You sniffled. âDoes that mean that you-âÂ
Yes.
Yes, it did, because before you could even finish your sentence he was taking a step forward and his hand was on your cheek again and this time his lips were on yours and fireworks, fireworks exploded in your chest and on your lips like bursts of static, but this time it wasnât pained, it was beautiful, and youâre melting into his hold, just as he was yours. Lips moving in perfect unison, he tilted his head down and you tilted yours up, and grabbed his neck, and his other hand slid onto your waist, resting there, as the two of you rocked under the artificial light of your overhead lamp.Â
Everything you yearned for was in your hands and you didn't dare to pull away, only whimpering when you ran out of breath, and chasing his lips when he pulled away to breathe. He chuckled, mouth curved upwards in that beautiful smile that you love. You love it, and thereâs no point in hiding it. He pressed his forehead against yours and youâre panting into each otherâs mouths.
âI love you too,â he said. You grinned, a perfect blush spread across your rounded cheeks, and his heart soared so much that he had to kiss you again, pecking and mumbling it again and again against your lips: âI love you, I love you, I love you.âÂ
His tongue slid over your lip and you opened your mouth with a squeak. His tongue was wet and warm in your mouth and his hands were suddenly on your hips, pushing them into his. Then he pulled away, blushing himself when a string of spit connects you. âIs this okay?â he asked, so softly, so gently, and you nodded, flushed and out of breath and pathetically desperate.
âYes,â you whined, âneed you so bad.â He cooed when you pressed your hips into his, long fingers brushing hair out of your face. âChannieâs gonna take care of you. Channieâs gonna make it up to you,â and yet again it's almost like he was saying it to himself, but you couldnât bring yourself to care when he lowered the two of you onto your bed. Hair strands stretched from their roots in your head, when you hit your plush pillow, and you were all shiny and sparkling eyes, laid out before him in a way that he never dared to imagine. âToo pretty,â he whispered, kissing you again.Â
He was grinding into you, anchoring himself on your waist and whimpering into the corner of your mouth at the feeling of your warm center through your shorts. âBaby, need you so bad. Can I take this off?â he tugged at your shirt and you nodded, unable to get anything out but whines. He pulled off the pink fabric, marveling at your bare chest before him. Of course, heâd seen it before, in tight shirts, on days where youâd decided to forgo a bra, and heâd always cursed himself for imagining the real thing. âYouâre so beautiful,â he cried, as he hit your core just right and he stared at your titsâ slight jiggle.Â
âSuch a pretty baby, so ready for me, can I touch them, please, please?â he was babbling, somehow already pussydrunk, but you were no better, eyebrows cinched together in pleasure, nodding without even an ounce of hesitation at his request. He groped at your chest, thumbs brushing over the hardened buds, before he ducked his head down to suck on one. Youâre gasping, as his tongue flicked over you, hands tangling themselves in his hair, moaning his name into the air. He hummed loudly, and you felt a thick glob of wetness escape your pussy at just the sight of him, hunched over you like a wild animal, panting into your chest.
âYouâre so pretty,â you whispered and he let go of your tit with a small âpopâ, lifting his head to look at you. He was grinning ear to ear, face still hovering over your chest. âAm I?â and suddenly he was so cocky, hand cupping your heat through your shorts, and watching as you buck into his hand with a strangled moan. âNeedy girl, need pretty Channie to touch you, hm?â He teased, fingers gently rubbing over the fabric of your damp shorts.
âPlease,â you whined, thrashing in the sheets, desperate enough to cry. He cooed and shushed you, hovering over you by one, strong arm: âShh, sweetheart, shh, I know. I got you, Iâll make you feel good.â As much as Chan wanted to make you beg, he was desperate too, and he couldnât help the slight guilt of what youâd been through. The thought almost made him frown, but he pushed it away and peeled off your shorts and underwear in one swoop.Â
You cried out when his fingers were finally sliding through your folds. Your eyes, half closed, flicked up to see him, gaze trained on your core in amazement. âYouâre so wet, baby,â he purred, spreading the warm slick up to your clit to start circling it with two fingers. âJust for you- Mngh!âÂ
He plunged two fingers into you with ease, wetness coating his fingers to let them slide in. You were panting and thrashing and moaning his name, and he just watched with the biggest hardon heâd ever had, how he made you feel good and how pretty you were, and how much he never wanted to pull his fingers out of your sopping wet heat.Â
âDo you want my fingers in your mouth?â he asked, and you squeezed your eyes shut and nodded vigorously. âHey, hey,â the fingers that werenât plunging in and out of you and curling into your pussyâs sweet spot, squeezed your chin. Your eyelashes fluttered open, and you stared at him with blown out eyes. âYou gotta look at me while you do it.âÂ
Then his fingers prodded at your lips, and you opened them with a whine, willing yourself to keep them open, to see how he smiled adoringly down at you. They were filling you just right, one hand stuck in your pussy and the in your mouth, teasing over your tongue. Your orgasm was approaching, knotting in your stomach, embarrassingly fast.Â
He groaned at the sight of you, looking up at him with huge, adoring eyes while sucking his fingers. âFuck, fuck, good girl, such a good, appreciative girl, taking my fingers wherever she can.â You clenched around him at that, and he chuckled knowingly. âYeah, you like being my good girl? Fuck, youâre gonna make me cum in my fucking pants.âÂ
You released his fingers only to moan - almost scream - his name, as you came around his fingers, curling into you and working you through your orgasm. âThatâs it, sweetheart. Cum on Channieâs fingers. Look so pretty when you cum.âÂ
You were still dazed on your bed in the glimmering aftermath of your post-orgasm, when you heard Chan shuffling beside you, and then he was leaning over you once again, shirt and pants discarded and cock proud and stiff and leaking precum onto your stomach. You groaned at the sight, hand trailing over his exposed stomach, where abs dipped and rose, glistening softly. Then your thumb caressed and pressed against his slit and he hissed, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.Â
He nosed at your neck, pecking a little, before speaking, voice too strained and too pretty: âCan I fuck you, baby? Please, please, I need to feel you around me so bad.â He had shut his eyes tight, fighting the urge to grab hold of your back and press your tits into his chest.
âPlease,â you came back equally as whiny, writhing in his hold, where his thumb was rubbing soft circles in your hip bone. âPlease, wanâ your cock. Need it.â He smiled into your neck, grabbing your head and kissing your cheek. âSo cute.âÂ
You felt the head of his cock slide through your still impossibly wet folds, then pressing against your entrance. You were murmuring his name over and over and he was panting into your neck and licking a stripe of wet glistening saliva onto it, as he began to push in.Â
You were writhing so much he had to place his hands on your hips to still you, whispering soft reassurances until he was pushed all the way, clit pushed into his abdomen. Youâre so full, you canât stop the wanton moans at the feeling of his pretty, red cock, every bulge and vein pressed against your gummy walls. âYouâre so fucking tight,â he spat, fearful that heâd spill his load into you immediately from the way you were clenching him. Then, slowly, he was rocking into you and the both of you were clambering onto one another. Your hands found his neck, his hair, his flexing biceps, and his your hips, waist, boob, and then clambering up to hold your face and look into your eyes.Â
âLook at me,â you almost didnât catch the way he repeated those words from before, but you looked into his brown orbs, blonde hair curling over and tickling your forehead. âSo fucking pretty, so cute, my little cumslut. Say you want my cum, baby, please, say it.âÂ
âWanâ your cum!â you cried, as he angled his cock inside you to press into that spongy spot. He was giving in to all his wants at your words, pulling you up by pressing his arms under your back, so your tits pressed against his chest, and he was nosing at your face again, trailing kisses everywhere he could reach. âSo good for me, so pretty, all mine. Fuck, sweetheart.âÂ
âAll yours,â you babbled mindlessly, when his hand snaked between your bodies to rub circles into your clit. âCum for me, cum for me, baby.âÂ
His thrusts were growing sloppy, and you felt the knot tightening in you once more, pulled tight and ready to snap. âCum, cum, come on, my pretty darling. Fuck, Y/n, I love you!âÂ
At those words you came, pussy pulsating around his cock and clenching so tight, he was unsure if he could even pull out in time. He did though, pulling out just in time to see his seed spill all over your soft stomach.Â
Panting and out of breath, his arms gave out and he collapsed on top of you, body covering yours. âUgh,â you groaned and looked up at you, laughing softly. âChan, youâre heavy,â you complained. âIâm a weighted blanket,â he countered, but climbed off of you anyway, lying down next to you. You looked at him, with the side profile of a god, and his blonde hair tousled and chest rising and falling.
âYou are pretty,â you said, and you could almost cry when he looked at you and blushed.Â
âYou shouldâve just told me,â he whispered, turning his head to gaze at you. You frowned and nodded. âBut it doesn't matter now,â he reassured, one hand climbing from the sloping, bunched up duvet and running his hand through your hair. He tilted his gaze towards your cum covered stomach, some of it having smeared onto himself, and he pushed himself off the bed. "I'll get a towel."
Naked and divine, he disappeared into your small bathroom.
âOh, God..â you groaned suddenly, face morphing into anguish.
âWhat?â Chan called from the bathroom.
âSoonyoung is going to be the most insufferable person on the planet when he finds out about this."