Lufys Fics - Tumblr Posts

6:58 AM

pairing : boyfriend! Jungkook x girlfriend! black fem reader

summary : “Let’s just stay in bed, like this, a little longer.” // “Kiss me again, I want you.”

genre : 100% full fluff and comfort

word count : 1,135 words

warning : none ^^

author’s note : I wrote this fic for those that struggle to sleep and are in need of comfort and love. Reader has long dreadlocks/locs. Even though I paired it with Jungkook, no name is explicitly mentioned, so you can imagine someone else :) Also, it’s my first time going over the 1k mark, let’s gooo !

It’s been a little while since you’ve been up, blinking softly and staring at the ceiling. Absorbed by your thoughts, you lost track of time.

You check your phone. 06:58 AM

The city lights were slowly giving their place to the orange sun, timidly making its way through the curtains of your room. You feel how the other person sharing the bed with you is shifting a little, still asleep. You wanna feign sleep too but you’re already up, no matter how hard you force your eyelids shut. It seems like your body has had enough rest.

You tried to get up from the bed when you noticed a strong pull at your waist : you were imprisoned in a tight embrace, leaving you no room to move.

Laying next to you was your cute lover, breathing softly and very much asleep. You two have always been hard sleepers, but he definitely had more trouble waking up than you did.

You stayed there, watching as the very faint sunset illuminated his mesmerizing features, leaving you endeared at the sight in front of you. His broad topless chest rising and falling peacefully with his soft breathe was easing your mind.

For a few moments, you were laid on your side facing him, just admiring the view in front of you and enjoying the comfortable and relaxing stillness as much as possible. The urge to smoother his face with kisses grew larger and larger. You figured you would have to escape his grip to go brush your teeth.

So you caress his arm holding you, ever so softly, and being the needy baby that he was, he pulls you closer to him.

Your face now in the crook of his neck, you whispered “hey baby boy... please let me go ? I need to pee”.

Of course in reality you didn’t need to pee, but you wanted to be sure he’d free you. He cooed at the nickname you gave him — it was his favorite — but he held you even tighter.

“Let’s just stay in bed, like this, a little longer.”

His raspy and silky morning voice ran chills down your spine. God... you wanted to kiss him so bad. He just had to let you go.

“I promise I’ll stay as long as you want to. But let me just go to the bathroom.” there was a hint of urge in your voice, but you were still sweet and not pressuring. He shifted a bit more to the side and released the hold he had on you, giving you room to stand up and do your thing.

While in the bathroom, you quickly did your morning routine, brushed your teeth, applied vaseline to soften your lips, and removed your bonnet so he could run his hand through your locs. He loved massaging your scalp, and smelling the sweet scent of the oils you use to take care of your hair. In addition to the coconut oil you already applied on your face, you also put a little touch of vanilla perfume on your neck, just because you know it will make him melt.

When you were done, you went back under the blankets and laid on top of him. He instantly closed his arms around your figure. His heartbeat calmly vibrating through his rib cage and the warmth of his hands slowly running up and down your back was soothing you.

Even though you wanted to spend the morning kissing him tenderly, you felt like you were about to go back to sleep.

Then, it was his turn to pretend a pee urgency to go to the bathroom and do his morning routine, your delicate scent waking him up. Also, since he wanted to spend the morning lazily in bed, he figured he might as well freshen up too.

He came back smelling like peach and roses, and you swear your whole body turns into a puddle.

As he exited the bathroom you were looking at each other, but as he approached the bed you turned around. You sometimes did this to “tease him” but deep down you knew it was because his fierce gaze was intimidating you.

He was very aware of that fact and that’s why he immediately understood your shyness.

When he got on the bed, he put you on your back, hovering over you and forcing you to look at him.

“Ah.... you’re still so shy and intimidated whenever I look at you right in your pretty eyes.” he sighed, full of contentment. It meant she still loved him, as strong and as new as if it was on day 1.

His look on you right now.... you knew it too well. His eyes are full of love, joy and pride of you being his lover. He was so grateful to have the chance to experience a love this strong and this passionate for you. He will never be tired of loving you, and he wanted to prove this to you as much as he possibly can.

You felt all of this, just by him locking his pretty doe eyes on yours. And you received his feelings right in your heart. Heart that’s going to explode by how fast and loud it was beating in your chest. This was all becoming a bit overwhelming to you, so you moved your head to the side in an attempt to ground yourself.

It was funny to him seeing the effect he had on you. You’re a very strong and independent woman, but you’re also very soft and cute for him. And the way you were never scared to show both sides to him always made him smile and feel giddy with love for you.

He took your head in one of his hands, put it back in place and grinned at you, his dimples at the side of his mouth greeting you good morning.

“You’re so adorable doll.”

Then, he pressed the softest kiss ever to your sweet plump lips.

It was slow and passionate. You kissed back ever so slowly before he parted his lips and started deepening the kiss.

You thought you were floating...... as a matter of fact you were on cloud nine right now. Your guts filled themselves with a satisfying tug. it’s the butterflies... you thought. Feels like heaven.

After a few more seconds, you two separated to catch your breathe.

He was back at staring right into your eyes, this time caressing your cheeks too. Then he started giggling softly. It was definitely music to your ears.

He broke the silence.

“I will never get tired of kissing you.”

Your hands, who were previously on his chest, found its way around his neck and your fingers ran through his hair.

“Then, kiss me again... I want you.”

masterlist <3

gaming chair

summary : “You make me smile, even when I don’t want to.” — jk feels awful these days and he plays video games a lot to distract himself. But this time.... it’s not cutting it no more, and he definitely needs real help. So he calls the only person that knows how to soothe his heart no matter what : you.

pairing : college student! jk x college student! black fem reader

genre : fluff + a bit angst bc jk has some mental health issues. but dw there is loads of comfort

word count : 3769

warnings : description of anxiety, description of a slight panic attack, talk about mental health issues, light mention of suicidal thoughts, light swearing

author’s note : I wrote this while struggling myself with the problems jk is facing, so this will be very therapeutic for anyone needing some support right now 🥺 Jk and reader are asexuals so no smut or anything is implied ! when they hug, it’s just that— a hug lmao. And reader has braids :) Enjoy loves <3

Another average game.... sigh.

He’s been at it since, like,,, 1 PM. It’s already 8 PM.

God... this is awful. I can’t just spend my days like this instead of actually dealing with my emotions.

It’s what he tells himself every time, yet he can’t seem to act on it and actually get better.

He definitely needs some help.

It’s hard when you’re dealing with constant anxiety, you know. Because you’re afraid of failure, you’re afraid of disappointing people, you’re afraid you’re not working hard enough, that you’re not giving you’re all every single day.... and it paralyzes you.

You literally cannot do anything anymore because you’re too afraid. You’re frightened by the unstable and unpredictable future.

And it’s oh so exhausting.

The worst thing isn’t even the anxiety itself; it’s when you’re completely aware of it, yet you can’t seem to help yourself. You can’t seem to be able to pick yourself up and get it together. You just can’t because you’re already talking down on yourself so much every single day since you’re not able to function properly, that you manage to convince yourself that you don’t even deserve help. You don’t deserve to heal, you don’t deserve a redemption arc. And it sucks, to say the least.

When he finds himself too lost in his thoughts and rummaging too much in his own misery; he just needs distraction. He needs it to stay afloat, to give himself a semblance of mental care.

He found a bit of comfort in video games. Online, he is praised for his concentration, his tactic decisions and his sharp reflexes. It’s an instant rewarding activity : when you win, you are respected and looked up to. People always wanna play with you and there is no unnecessary long preparation to get better. It’s no secret : play more, win more.

At the beginning it was somewhat healthy : he only played a few hours on weekends so he could work on all the college shit he needed to do during the week and not interfere with his studies.

But, as time passed by, with college getting more complicated and exams coming up,,,, he couldn’t endure the pressure. All he did was play everyday, all day long. Even during the night.

Yes, it sounds very stupid, but when games are a way of escaping reality and relieving the constant pain in your head as much as the constant pull on your chest caused by all this pressure he felt,,,, it was a lot more than needed.

He could ask for help from friends or family or maybe some classmates. But he knew how judgemental people could be, and how tense and optuse they were when it came to dealing with mental health issues. He would just get remarks saying that he was being lazy or some other bullshit like that ; and he really didn’t wanna deal with none of this.

So he doesn’t talk to anyone about this.... except with you.

You’re the only person he always confides to and seeks support from. Your simple presence soothes his heart and calms his overwhelming thoughts.

Now,,, don’t get it twisted : you two were not a couple.

You met on campus.

He already noticed you walking around, and he did found you beautiful, but he never said anything to you and kept his distance, just admiring from afar. Nothing big.

One day, while he was visibly struggling over some dumb assignment that was due the day after, he did not notice when you sat next to him to study because the college library was packed and the only available chair was the one he used for his bag. He also did not notice when you looked over what he was doing and the way your eyes lit up when you realized you two were studying the same subject; meaning you were in the same course. He only became aware of your presence when you tapped on his shoulder and proposed to finish the assignment together.

Eventually, you grew closer and closer to each other. Ever since then, you’ve both always tried your best to help each other and stay by your side.

(He will never openly admit the crush he has on you though.)

You were truly and sincerely a really good friend, and it’s not the crush talking.

You were genuinely a great person : always offering a hand to help, always offering an ear to listen, and always offering advices to get through the hard times, only when he asked. You never judged him. You would never give unrequired mean comments and passive aggressive ‘motivational speeches’ or whatever the fuck his parents called the awful messages they were sending him.

He definitely needed a shoulder to cry on.

It was a bit complicated because... he never asked for this much before. He never asked for more than just some quick help, but you would provide him with way more than what he expected, every single time. He couldn’t deny your support, even if he wanted to.

So he pressed your contact name and sent you a message, asking to come to his place to help him get back to work.

Wait what time is it— 09:24 PM already ?!

Before he could tell you to forget it and come back another day, you already answered〈I’m on my way ☺️〉

Guess he just has to buy you pizza now.

______________________________________________

10 minutes or so later, you knocked on his door.

He just finished tidying up his room a little bit, to occupy himself before facing you. He musters up all the courage he has, and comes to the door.

Usually, he’s never nervous to see you and stuff, but this time,,, it was different.

His hands starts to sweat and he begin struggling to breathe.

inhale.......

exhale.......

After calming the pounding heart in his chest as much as he can, he finally lets you in.

You’re too taken aback by his obviously tired posture to notice the slight blush tainting his cheeks as he greets you.

“hi [y/n], thank you so much for coming. I needed you.”

Even though he tried his best to conceal it, the exhaustion he felt was dripping from his voice. And the rawness of it betrayed him by showing that it must be his first time speaking out loud to someone in a while.

He started to feel self conscious of his miserable state.

But, his concerns faded away as soon as you spoke up to him.

“hi jeon. don’t worry about it : I’ll always be there to help you.”

His heart skipped a beat.

As you took off your shoes, there was a huge silence between you two. While you’ve been passed the stage where silences are awkward, it still feels heavy.

When you were done getting rid of all your layers, you broke it.

“ok, you know that I know that you don’t really need me for some homework stuff. What’s going on jeon.... please, tell me everything that’s on your heart. I’ll try to help you deal with it.”

You took his arm and tried to bring him to sit on his couch, but he stayed stiff. When you looked back at him, he was looking at his feet and playing with his fingers. It caught you a bit off guard.

“uuh...... can we please go to my room instead..? I’ll feel, um, more comfortable.”

it was not the first time you went to his room so why was he acting funny right now ? You really started to think that something very bad happened, seeing how fidgety and unsettled he was.

When in the room, both of you sat onto his bed, and you patiently waited for him to tell you what was actually going on.

He took a deep breathe, and started to talk while looking at his hands and playing with them.

“I’ve been stuck in such a bad place lately. I can’t do anything. All I do is sleep all day and play. I’m not even good at it too, like my level is getting worse than ever everyday. And don’t get me started on my fucked up sleeping schedule. I’m a mess.” he chuckles, a humorless laugh leaving his lips.

He was still clearly uncomfortable, his voice not louder than a brittle, as if he was just talking to himself.

You nodded, signaling that you were listening. Even though he wasn’t directly looking at you, he got the message, and kept going.

“I... I struggle so much with concentration. I can’t focus on shit for more than 5 minutes. It’s driving me insane. Can you imagine not being able to concentrate on something else that video game or scrolling on social media for more than 5 mf minutes ?! Gosh, I feel so lazy and useless.” he said, rubbing his eyes furiously.

He was clearly getting heated, and usually you would’ve immediately jump in to tell him that he was wrong, that he was such an intelligent, very creative and overall wonderful human being.

But you understood that he only needed an open ear to listen to him for now, as he confides all his bottled up feelings.

So you stayed silent.

He continued.

“And, I know it’s not my fault, right ? like,,, it’s just a rough time, I’m just supposed to tell myself that I’ll be ok, that it’s all gonna be ok, and I’m supposed to magically feel better and keep it pushing. It’s how it must be, right ? ....but I feel like it completely is my fault. I feel like I’m giving up on myself, that I’m not taking the responsibility to care for me. [y/n]... I don’t want to push anymore. I don’t want to do anything anymore— I don’t have the energy to. I- I cannot stand the constant pain in my chest and... I cannot stand the chills that run down my spine when I realize a deadline is getting closer and closer while I still didn’t start an assignment, because I don’t have any motivation to do so. I cannot stand the everlasting fear of failure that lingers in my mind and keeps me from touching a textbook during weeks— because working frightens me. I’m- I’m... broken. I am literally broken.” As he unfolded more and more, his rambling became jerky and messy.

You could feel the pain in the way his voice cracks and the way sobs were falling out of his mouth.

“I’m so anxious about the future and about how I completely lost control of my life, that I can’t even sleep. I don’t eat much either. I’ve given up on life. I feel empty, worthless and tired. So tired. [y/n]... I’m tired of living.” he said, the last sentence almost too quiet to be heard.

Soon enough, he was crying. It was very hard for him right now. Still he tried to repress it, as he promised himself not to breakdown in front of you. But it was useless.

Way to go ! Now you look even more of a mess than you already are.

You reached out, and took one of his hands in yours while softly wiping his cheeks with your other hand. With the softest voice you could manage, you encouraged him to let go as much as possible.

“.... let it out. Let it all out. Cry as much and as loud as you want to. Please Jeon allow it to yourself.” you told him with a small smile.

And he did just that. He cried, and cried, and cried. And you stayed, patiently rubbing his hands and his cheeks.

Seeing him like this was breaking your heart so much, you felt your own tears coming up. You wanted to be there for him and protect him as much as you possibly could. You would never give up on him.

After a little while, he calmed down. You felt relieved because he seemed to feel a bit better as he has finally been able to open up and get rid of all these thoughts clogging his mind.

He felt the same, noticing how such a big weight has finally been lifted off his shoulders.

But still, he felt uneasy about what he was about to ask.

He started to fidget with his fingers again, and realizing that’s the body language he has when he feels nervous about what he’s about to do or say, you tried your best to ease him.

“Do you have something else you wanna talk about ? You know you can tell me anything. You know I’ll always be there for you.”

You kind of regretted the way the last sentence sounded a bit much but oh well, honesty has never killed anyone. Your feelings were genuine and you wanted to make sure that he knows there is someone there for him.

It visibly helped him loosen up a bit. So, he musters up all the courage left in his body, and he decides to request this one thing he’s been needing the most : “well hum... can you give me a hug please..?”

You almost immediately answered of course, and started leaning into him— but... it wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

“wait! no- not like this.”

You leaned back in your place and couldn’t help your eyebrows frowning, your confusion showing very hard on your face. You guys would hug sometimes so you didn’t quite understand his reaction.

why was he acting suspicious about it now ?

He saw the frown on your face, and it stressed him out even more. The last thing he would ever do is to make you mad or uncomfortable.

“ok, it’s not that I do not want to hug you, but can we do a different hug..? Like uuh... you hug me but like,,,, you cradling me on my, um, gaming chair.”

He wanted to tell you that basically he would liked to just... be spooned. But it was hard enough to get this request out of his chest, and he didn’t wanna startle you even more.

He didn’t see your reaction because he was looking at his hands instead of you, but sensing how you didn’t say anything, he looked up to you.

You were silent — fairly surprised — still processing what he just asked you.

But he, on the other hand, couldn’t really read your face ; and he started to panic because he got really scared that he ruined your relationship.

Like,, he knew you were asexual because you talked to him about it several times and it was no secret for the both of you ; but you didn’t really know about him being ace too.

You didn’t know that you sharing the ups and down of your journey on finding out about your asexuality to him made him realize that he felt the same thing and that he may be ace too.

You didn’t know how comforting it was for him to hang out with you, because he didn’t have to not be himself in front of you and that you would never have triggering discussions about subjects that were not interesting the both of you.

He never really talked to you about it, not because he wanted to hide this from you ; but because he was still finding out about himself more and more everyday, at his own pace. Even though he was practically sure by now.

So he felt like he kind of betrayed your trust in him, and that he betrayed himself too because,,, what if you think that he wanted to force you into a sexual setting when he obviously knows it will clearly make you uncomfortable ?

And other than that... even though he had a crush on you and he would definitely enjoy being linked to you in a romantic way.... you two were really good friends and he cherished the connection you already had with each other so much. You meant a lot to him. He would not handle losing this. Losing you.

What if you reject him ?

Just thinking about it made him feel incredibly dizzy.

His mind was spiraling so much that he didn’t even notice he started shaking because of all the overthinking ; until you grabbed one of his hands with both of yours and rubbed your thumb slowly on his skin.

The truth is you were silent because it startled you a bit. It’s not everyday that the guy friend that you have a soft spot for asks you to cuddle with him in his room.

And if you were being honest...

You lowkey (highkey) needed some sort of comfort yourself.

College life is very exhausting and draining, both physically and mentally. Showering Jungkook with all that support and help, and seeing that it was effectively making him feel better, was giving you the courage to try actively apply your own advices to deal with your own mental health issues.

Helping him was so beneficial to you both, you would never pass an occasion to do it. Plus, you’re hardly ever seeing anyone these days and you trusted him. So... a hug will not hurt anyone.

You answered.

“Don’t worry, it’s completely ok for me Jeon. And please, don’t feel ashamed to ask for help, especially from me. You know I’ll always do it, if it means I can ease you, even just the slightest. ”

After you reassured him, he released a breathe he didn’t even know he was holding. He was so sensitive and vulnerable... His state was really alarming. He did great giving in to his heart and calling you.

He smiled and gave you a small thank you so much.

Seeing how visibly shy he was about all this, you didn’t wanna make it harder than it was for him.

So you got up and took him with you. He followed you from behind like a lost puppy. He was so visibly vulnerable... it broke your heart and seeing his state, you knew you did great giving in to your heart and accepting to come right away.

Then, he sat down on the chair.

And, you got on top of him.

As soon as you settled, he embraced you and held you tight, close to him.

You felt how tense he was and how fast his heart was beating in his chest.

When you hugged his waist in return, he started to loosen up and relax. He even let out a content sigh he didn’t even know he was holding back.

A silence installed between the both of you. A comfortable one.

He started rubbing your back and slowly rocking you side to side.

You stayed like this, just bathing in each other’s presence. You wanted to remain like this with him for as long as you possibly could.

You breathing softly in the crook of his neck, with his heartbeat and the rhythm of his chest rising and falling soothing you.

Him caressing your back and occasionally rubbing circles with his thumb onto you.

It was such a nice feeling....

All of a sudden, your stomach lets out an incredibly loud growling noise. It just had to be right now.

Jungkook started laughing and you swear his laugh is like angels singing to your ear.

He knew he was laughing way too hard for what it really was, but it’s been so much time since he has been genuinely laughing. Genuinely enjoying the moment. Genuinely living life.

“Ah.. I guess it’s the time when I order pizza for you, right ?”

He said smiling. You smiled back a bit embarrassed, and he thought you couldn’t be cuter.

While not letting go of you, he took his phone with one of his hand and ordered the food. When he was done, he went back to embracing you, this time occasionally playing with your braids too.

After a little while, he confessed.

“You make me smile, even when I don’t want to.”

It was obvious he was looking at you, but you didn’t have it in you to look back at him in the eyes. It would be too much for your little heart.

You didn’t answer, you knew you didn’t have to. He knows you feel the same.

You both feel like it is enough just like this : just some soft, comfy, intimate hugs and vibes.

Cool display of friendship,,, between two friends.

Without being ironic, it was actually a very nice moment he was sharing with you. This will always be special to him, and from now on he’ll make sure he spends more meaningful time with you.

He was so happy that he mastered the courage to call you. He absolutely needed this.

Later on, the food arrived, so you parted during the time he went and paid for it. You ate the pizza on the couch, while watching a few episodes of some light hearted anime you were both interested in.

At some point, he looked at the time and— 01:37 AM

shit! I made her stay so late...

“Well it’s ass o’clock right now and I absolutely cannot let you go home, so! you might as well stay. You will sleep in my room and I’ll be on the couch don’t worry! I’ll go give you some shorts and one of my large t-shirt so you can go change and, uh, yeah.”

He was so much more joyful and his eyes glowed with sparkles, compared to just a few hours ago. You were really happy for him.

“Thank you Jeon it’s so nice of you really. Do you feel better now ?”

He replied right on the spot I do! with the biggest smile on his face. Even his adorable dimples were showing.

The butterflies in your stomach were partying right now.

______________________________________________

After giving each other one last goodnight hug you both went to bed. While lied down on the couch, he looked back on the night he just spent and.... He realized how lucky he was to have you by his side. His heart warms thinking about you.

How sweet and understanding you were, despite him being so emotionally exhausted. How nice it felt to have you close to him, and to enjoy the comfort of your embrace.

Ah.... He feels so happy and content right now. He almost cries, and this time, his eyes are full of tears of pure joy.

He manages to settle his fast-beating heart, and eventually falls asleep. Needless to say this night was the first time he’s had a good rest in a while.

Masterlist <3

2:14PM

pairing : boyfriend! jk x girlfriend! black fem reader

summary : You prepare yourself to go out on a date with Jungkook, but your hair is giving you a hard time. Thankfully, your lovely boyfriend will never allow you to get out of your shared home not feeling like the ethereal looking princess that you are.

genre : 100% fluff, endearing boyfriend, domestic acts of love

word count : 711 words

warnings : none ^^

author’s note : this is a lil one-shot I wrote to get myself back in writing 🥺 Jungkook has long blonde hair and y/n has some matching blonde color long box braids. I hope this story makes your heart flutter like it did mine when I wrote it (๑>◡<๑) Enjoy loves <3

You and your boyfriend are supposed to be out in a few for a date you’ve both planned. You’re almost ready : outfit done, makeup done, perfume done. All that was left was your hair.

You were in front of the mirror, livid, huffing and puffing, trying to come up with an idea on what the hell to do with it. it’s been like 15 minutes now and you’ve attempted to do 3 hairstyles already.

Your arms are starting to pass out and your patience is growing thin.

Your boyfriend, a little bit worried about what kept you for so long in the bathroom decided to come get you, and as soon as he saw your state reflecting in the mirror, he understood. And he will not let this ruin your day.

You were getting really frustrated and you eventually decide on letting your hair be and call it a day.

Just as you’re about to give up and move on with your prepping, you feel strong arms circling your waist and pull you in. You don’t even have the time to react or say a single word, before one of these strong arms brings a phone up in your face.

— hold this. — he simply says.

As you pick the phone from his hands, your boyfriend removes his arms from around you, tickling your sides on the way making you giggle and shake a bit. He then runs his hands through your hair, and softly massages your scalp and the back of your neck for a few minutes.

You allow yourself to relax into his touch and close your eyes humming in contentment. Your reaction makes him smile and giddy, but you can’t see it since he’s facing your back.

At some point, he breaks the silence and asks you — what vibe were you going for baby ? — He knows that you’re into y2k style at the moment, but he still wanted your approval before doing anything to you.

(also he wanted to hear you talk, the soft voice you have when you’re very relaxed always makes the butterflies in his stomach act up).

His own honey filled tone and his sweet intentions towards you aimed straight at your fast beating heart and filled you with love and appreciation. After contemplating for a few minutes, you finally answered — hmmm… I know that you would help me but don’t worry, I think I’ll go out like this today sweet — your eyes still closed.

It felt so good, you were actually getting super comfortable and on the verge of falling asleep. Honestly… you would rather stay there and let him massage your scalp then sit on the couch and cuddle with him instead of going out if you could, but he reserved a slot at this manga café you’ve both been dying to try for so long and you knew it wasn’t reasonable to cancel it right at this moment, less than 15 minutes before. Also, you were actually excited to go out. Just greedy with the display of affection, as touch was your main love language.

— as you wish princess. I hope you’re aware that you’re a beautiful angel that looks wonderful with your hair done or not, and that I love you either way. — he softly murmures into your ear as he lets his hands caress your arms and rest on your hips.

You thought you couldn’t melt more for his ways until he started delicately pecking your neck all the way from right behind your ear to the tip of your shoulder. Each of his kisses conveyed all the love and appreciation he felt for you, his soft pouty lips applying a gentle pressure on your sensitive skin with light touches as if it were very fragile porcelain, and it sent you chills that ran through your entire body.

You wish time could stop right then and there so you could live in this moment forever. He feels the same. That’s why, when you intertwine your fingers with him and rest on his chest as he embraces you and rests his head in the crook of your neck, he lets the both of you enjoy this moment longer than you should be, and be late to your outdoor date.

masterlist <3

Love serenades

pairing : husband! Namjoon x wife! black fem reader

summary : Namjoon is being way too focused on this book right now, while you’re not being hugged. This needs to change.

genre : 100% fluff & domesticity

word count : 915

warning : none !

author’s note : Namjoon has short dirty blond hair. And he’s got his very big prescription glasses on lol it makes him look so so cute. Also, I’m mentioning sensuality in this fic ; and I mean the literal sense of the word : attraction to senses, here, the touch. My OCs are always asexuals, so no sex is implied hehe. Enjoy my loves ! <3

You just finished your self care routine in your shared bathroom with your husband, and you’re now heading to bed.

As you climb on it, you reach Namjoon’s level, hovering over him. He is reading a book. He looks so adorable when he’s focused with his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his big glasses sitting proudly at the top of his nose.

It was a book about feminism and philosophy named born in 1982, Kim Jiyoung if you recall well. He’s been deep into it for a few days now, and you can’t wait for his personal analysis of the book and his review.

It’s one of the many special habits you have between the two of you : whenever one reads a book, they must to make a review of it to the other. You absolutely love the moments when he makes his little presentation and reviews the book to you, because he is so eager to share his knowledge and his point of view he always prepares them with so much dedication, it’s very endearing to witness. That’s why when you see that he starts a book, you light up inside, impatient for when he finishes it.

Anyways, as of now he was no where near finished, and you, on the other hand, were in great need of some affection.

You’ve always been a touchy person and you’re really open and comfortable with displaying affection ; being very sensual with your partner was your love language. And while you’ve learnt to align your clingy nature as much as possible with namjoon’s more laid back and distant one ; you had your moments where u needed a bit more touch than usual.

And this was definitely one of those times !

You’ve been standing over Namjoon for a while now and he still hasn’t moved an inch. He must be really invested in his book. How cute. But, I need his cute ass to pay attention to me.

So, you bent a little, just enough to align with his forehead, and place a soft and delicate kiss. The kiss was very gentle, as if his skin was porcelaine and you did not want to chatter it. Then, you did the same on his cheek. One on the left. One on the right.

By now, he was smiling with that soft dimpled one he does whenever he feels shy and overwhelmed with attention. Again. How cute.

You couldn’t refrain yourself from grinning back.

Then, you spoke up.

— You seem really invested into that one book babe. I know you’re about to make a fire review of it, but could you please tell me about the passage you’re reading right now ?

His eyes lit up.

— Of course angel. Cmon, lay on my chest, I’ll tell you all about it. Then, you’ll tell to me about your day. Deal ?

It was your turn for your face to light up.

— Deal.

As you answer him, you shift yourself to come in between the sheets and lay on his sides, your head on his chest. You angle your head so that you’re facing the book so you can read while he makes his explanations.

You’re actively waiting for him to start, but he stays silent.

As you look up, you catch Namjoon looking at you with heart eyes. You’ve never seen this much passion and intensity in his stare.

It startles you a bit. You giggle.

— What ?

He smiles.

— Nothing.

— I’m waiting for the review siiiir ! if you don’t start soon, I’ll bite your nipples.

You were being absolutely silly and it was making him feel dizzy with love. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop feeling this way when he looks at you.

Finally he confesses.

— Have I ever told you about how beautiful you are ?

— Yes, everyday.

You already know where this is going : a serenade about how much he loves you. He’s so random sometimes, but that’s what you appreciate in him.

— How every time I see you, my heart skips a beat ? How lucky I am that you’re my wife ? And how thankful I am that I get to share my love for you everyday ?

You were about to make fun of him for being sappy, but it still affected you every time he did this. It does feel good to be constantly reminded by the person that you’re sharing your heart with that they’re actually happy and grateful to have you in their life.

It’s melting your heart, and you were already quite sensitive by your need of affection. Oh God.

He keeps going. His heart is beating faster.

— I hope you’re aware that I’m being completely honest every single time I say these things to you. And I’ll repeat it, over and over again, so that you never ever doubt the feelings I have.

— Oh my God shut up. I’m about to cry. When did we stray from you reviewing your book to you showering me with love paroles.

Your eyes start watering, and eventually, a tear falls. Then another. And another again.

— Even when you cry, you’re so pretty. My pretty little crybaby.

And that was the last straw for you, causing you to definitely shut him up with a kiss.

Needless to say, you finish the night kissing and cuddling your bestfriend and lover ; and you couldn’t be happier. He feels the same.

Masterlist <3

JKOO-NJOO ! Welcome here, angel.

— Lufy ! 20, black woman, asexual, any pronouns !

— BTS fanfiction writer ! member of @thebtswritersclub

— my kpop ults are BTS & LOONA, my ult biases are JungKook & NamJoon !

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College crush - 1

summary : college au | when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line ? 

pairing : shy n clingy bf! jk x black fem! reader

genre : fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count : 956, on going

warnings : light stalking, fixation

author’s note : I have loooots of unfinshed drafts that have been pilling up and this is one of them !! This is my first time trying out headcanons AND a multiple part fic!!! Also this story is going to feature some yandere/oblivious type of reasoning. The summary is kinda dramatic but nothing immoral or out of pocket will happen I swear. hope u enjoy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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1 / the loving bird & the shining gemstone

Jungkook couldn’t be more bored while walking around campus going to his next class ; but when his eyes landed on the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, it was as if a thunderbolt hit him right at the top of his head.

- Him seeing you for the first time

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing,,, he was completly starstruck

You had such soft features. Your gorgeous almond eyes holding that fierce gaze of yours, your cute round nose and your beautiful plump lips were all so mesmerizing to look at.

You were sprinting around the campus, looking as absent minded as him, with your head in the clouds

Yet you had so much confidence in your walk, your long braids bouncing on your back with each step you took with assurance

He was so struck on you that he didn’t even notice how he stopped dead in his track in the middle of the pathway, starring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth

He felt so light-headed, like he just witnessed the apparition of an angel right in front of him 

Entering one of the doors leading to the campus’ library, you disappeared from his sight

He went on with his day, but he never stopped thinking about you. Even if he tried, he couldn’t get you out of his mind

He longed the feeling you gave him, in his stomach

It was... so sudden, yet so impactful..?

He absolutely needed to see you again.

- Longing you

A few weeks passed after the first time he saw you

And he has started to see you literally everywhere : in the hallways, in lectures, at the cafeteria, and even at the convenience store near the dorms

At the begining it was pure coincidence, or dare he say luck

But after sometimes, it was more so his doing, simply because he couldn’t go a whole day without trying to see you at least once.

You were fascinating to him. He was growing fond of all your daily habits and your little quirks

Like your favorite spot at the library ; or the one snack you take every single time to eat during your studies (triple chocolate fudge cookies - you need to eat more fruit >:() ; or even the way you run late to your classes sometimes and he thinks that’s it’s impossible to look this gracious while running around the campus

He wanted to know more, like your favorite fragrances so he could buy you 10 bottles of it,

Or your favorite flowers so he would fill your desk with fresh ones every weeks

Or which hoodie of his do you prefer so he can give it up for you to wear because you would look so good in them and he would melt knowing that you were wearing his clothes  

He craved more of you in his life so bad ; but right now, he just felt like a stalker.

And the fact that you lived in the building right next to his did not arrange this feeling, because he has to take the same route as you to go home  

Now, he wasn’t complaining, at all

At least he could make sure that no one followed you and that you could go home safe

And if anyone ever tries to harm you in any way he will be there to protect you

Also its ok because he never followed you right in front of your door step ; that’s going too far. He’d never want to make you feel unsafe

Nevertheless, he had to find a way to get in contact with you.  

Now, it was easier said than done : he’s always been a very shy guy, not very comfortable socialising or making new friends

Talking to you and keeping you close would be one of the biggest challenge he’ll have to face since he started his college life ; 

But you can’t get nothing unless you get out of your comfort zone, right..? 

- Anticipation and hope

He had a plan.

A long-time plan. He had to be commmited for it to work

And oh was he ready

So, he remarked that you were in a photography club on top of your law studies

This was an incredible find by the way because he didn’t even know this club existed and he absolutely loves photography himself

He already contacted the head of the club and they said that the applications to enter the club for the year would close soon

And that it was welcoming to any level of photographer

This was the perfect pretext to slowly and smoothly enter your social circle and eventually your life

Just thinking about being close to you while doing something he loves gave him chills

anyways

While in the club, he’d just have to wait until they plan a group project or something so he’ll introduce himself to you ; then you do the project together ; then you fall head over heels in love for him ; then you get married

What do you mean it’s not realistic.

It’s absolutely feasible. 

He even looked up researches in psychology that prove that love at first sight exists. 

He even looked at techniques on how to make anyone obsessed with you

He will provoke it by becoming a constant & familiar occurence in your life, so you have no choice but to choose him.

So, it’s set : tomorrow, he will go and apply to enter the photography club ; and the plan will begin

He was so excited at the idea of seeing you more often, and mayhaps sitting right next to you

Just thinking about the possibilities made his heart race

After calming himself with deep breathes and a solid journal entry, he fell asleep

That night, like most these days, his mind was filled with fantasies of you, and his face adorned the most content smile of all 

He finally had you at the tip of his fingers

And he will not let you go.

College crush - 2

summary : college au | when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line ?

pairing : shy n clingy bf! jk x black fem! reader

genre : fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count : 2007, on going

warnings : stalking, fixation

author's note : it took me a while to overcome writer’s block for this story but I woke up motivated this morning and I literally just finished writing all of it in one sitting 🤭 there will be 2 or 3 more chapters left after this one ! hope u enjoy loves ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

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2/ forbearance, solitude & craving

- Enactment of the plan

it is time. his plan is finally in motion

he’s going to get you, at all cost.

he already had a good amount of photography in stock but he spent the week producing a fresh batch of pictures for the application

he took his camera and clicked everywhere towards everything

stills of landscapes, animals in action, objects and art pieces, people moving…

he had to make his application absolutely perfect to be sure he’d be with you

and he did ; his work was outstandingly pretty and always held some sort of longing/nostalgic feelings that could be felt by the observer

you could tell in them that the photographer took his time to wait for the correct angle, the perfect movement of the subjects and the right amount of reflection of light before he captured each images

this batch process was so amusing and sort of therapeutic to him because he got to get back to photography, which he didn’t have that much time to do since he started college

but the best part of it all :

he started taking pictures of you.

he didn’t even intend to do it at first

him taking a broad picture of the campus’ park wanting to capture the nature coupled with the students go on with their occupations

but when he looked back at it, there you were

on the 3rd plan, almost totally blending yourself with the paysage ; yet looking so outstandingly beautiful… almost angelic

then he decided to hit click more often whenever he would run into you

he always made sure he’d stay far enough so that you don’t notice him ; but close enough so that he could capture you in the upmost quality

each picture were of you doing insignificant things like walking around campus with your earphones on ; reading at a local café ; eating and laughing with some friends of yours ; studying and looking so cute with your frowning eyebrows

he held each one of these so close to his heart

he even created a whole folder on his computer compiling all of the photos he took of you

he was dreaming of the day you’d pose just for him, looking right in his objective with your bright eyes and piercing gaze

he was dreaming of the day you’ll be his and all he would do everyday is follow you around with his camera and snap pictures of you doing anything with him

anyways

he submitted his application for the club and of course got accepted

the first classes would start two weeks from now

he absolutely couldn’t wait to finally be near you

- battling loneliness

he was right : he definitely couldn’t wait.

the two weeks are up and the first photography class starts tomorrow

the wait was overbearing and painful

but he swallowed his suffering

because he knew that patience is the most important part of the plan.

for it to work out perfectly it was necessary to wait

to pass time, on top of taking more pictures of you, he started to write poems

his feelings for you were growing more and more everyday without a mean of escape ; he had to find something to externalize them before he turned absolutely crazy

at the beginning, it wasn’t exactly poems, but little journal entries destined to you, since he cannot contact you directly just yet

technically he could but he was far too much of a coward to ever try to make a move in real life

the messages started soft and short — like 2/3 phrases short — and were very descriptive with no definite style whatsoever

“seeing your beautiful face made me feel so happy today. You are the ruler of my heart.”

but.. he felt so… ashamed ? uncomfortable ? because he never wrote anything before and he thought it was so lame

the more he wrote, the more he got bold and tried new ways to express himself

so he started using more imagery and very sentimental turn of phrases and the little messages turned to poems, each longer and more complex than the previous ones

“if anyone asks me to prove my love for you, I’ll ask them to let you speak on my grave and watch how I come back to life right before their eyes, to bask in your angelic voice and presence.”

he wanted to write the best poems so that you could really see how much love he held for you

so that he could prove to you that he was perfect and deserving of your love and attention

he was getting more confident in his writing but he felt like it would never be enough to truly capture the entirety of your outstanding beauty the purity of your heart and aura

and each poem or picture from afar reminded him of how lonely he was, and how you weren’t his yet

but he had to stay strong, because soon he’ll be close to you

- eventually : the liberation

he had so much trouble to sleep

he was so excited because today was finally the day he’d been waiting for for so long

the day of the first photography class

he wanted to look good and make a great first impression so he spent half the night choosing an outfit

settling for a baggy grey t-shirt and black cargo pants because he didn’t feel ready to be noticed by you just yet

and he definitely needed to update his wardrobe… too much dark and baggy clothes

he noticed you were very stylish and he daydreamed about going shopping with you more than once

he wanted to be your doll to dress up as you please and have matching outfits with you

he also wanted to see you in the clothes that he chose himself just for you. he’s convinced that they’ll suit you so well

so much so that he had a ton of carts waiting on lots of different website, just ready to buy and send for you to wear

anyways

he was so so nervous

but, his excitement exceeded his nervousness and apprehension

he barely ate anymore these days but at some point he decided to eat properly, get back in the gym and do his skincare

because he knew that you wouldn’t want your boyfriend to not take care of himself

and if he cannot care for himself, how can he even pretend that he’ll be able to care for you ??

he was proud of himself and his love for you because you made him a better man without even meeting him yet

he knew that each and every day he was becoming more and more perfect for you

fast forward to the afternoon, and 2pm

the class started at 2:30 pm, be he came here early just so he could admire you enter the class, and also choose the best seating area for the both of you

he settled for the middle row on the very left side

because he knew you love to sit on the front row on the right side. so this place would allow him to look at your side profile and stare at you all that he wants without you noticing him.

it was perfect

time went by, and the classroom started filling up slowly

he knew you’d come in last, so he put a little book on one of the chairs in the front row so nobody would take your spot

and just like clockwork, you arrived right before the class started

the only chair available the one that he reserved for you

you looked around to see if the person who left the book was here, and your neighbor told you that he saw nobody claim back the seat so you just sat there

when you did, shivers travelled his whole body from head to toe.

he felt so proud of himself and also so thankful that you were accepting his first ever move towards you. His first proof of his love for you.

the class started but he did not listen one bit

he was so mesmerized by your beauty and your closeness

he was already following you around to your place of study like the library or cafes to look at you ; but he never got the courage to get any closer.

you being just 2 rows in front of him was the closest he’s ever been

he was savoring each and every second, before a miracle occurred.

the photograph professor called out your name and asked you to present yourself in front of the class

apparently everyone would have to

he quickly pulled out his phone and started the dictaphone

then you spoke up and started presenting yourself in front of the whole class

he felt himself melt on the spot

your voice so clear and full of assurance, as you spilled precious details about yourself that he’ll spend the rest of his life cherishing

you said that you love photography, you draw, you write and you read. And you talked about being really excited to start this class and do your best to express yourself through your photography

he could cry right here and there. this was so much more than he would even dare to ask for

but he was getting nervous again. because this means that he would have to present himself next

he started shaking his leg uncontrollably and his hands started sweating. he didn’t expect to have to speak up and be noticed by you so early in the plan

but he had to be strong for you and not let his timidness consume him

his time came. everyone turned around to look at him, including you

he couldn’t bear meeting your gaze and looking at you in the eyes so he looked straight in front of him, aiming towards the professor

however if he did hold your gaze, he would have seen how your eyes kind of lit up looking at him

it was so difficult for him to speak up and not stutter but he did his best

you only had to say what brought you here and your other hobbies. Some people told more, some less. He opted for the less.

« Hello all. I’ve been doing photography for years and decided to enroll as soon as I knew of the existence of this club. Other than photography, I enjoy gaming, working out and writing poems. That’s all »

the professor thanked him and moved on the the next person

he felt his nerves relax and released a breathe he didn’t know he was holding

he hoped he made a good impression on you mentioning working out and writing. Since you love writing, you have now a second shared interest and he also overheard you talk about how you like fit guys so he was sure he hit all the right spots

he spent the rest of the class not listening one bit, just looking at you being focused on the class

at the end of it, he pretended to take longer to pack up his things and when everyone left the classroom he went over to your seat

your sweet scent lingered on the spot and he was incredibly jealous of the person that sat next to you

you smelt a mix of vanilla and cinnamon with a hint of sweet citrus fruit

he wanted to bottle up the air and take it home with him if he could

he went back to his dorm with so much contentment and happiness within his heart

now that he got you close he wanted more. and he would have it

for the first time of his life, he grew confidence and decided to act on his impulse

and his impulse led him to accelerate the plan : he’ll contact you even from afar.

College crush - 3

summary : college au l when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line?

pairing : shy n clingy bf! jk × black fem! reader

genre : fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count : 2150, on going story

warnings : stalking, fixation, home intrusion

author’s note : Hi loves ! This is supposed to be the second to last chapter of this story, but I don’t feel like ending it so soon. I’m still hesitating on wether to write a sequel in the form of drabbles or just add 2 or 3 more chapters instead of just one. You tell me what you would prefer most (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Enjoy my angels ~ ♡

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3/ the moth searching for light through darkness, with hope

- the first time : just reaching out to you

Jungkook was really set on taking the leap of faith and sending you a message directly.

he is very nervous but also confident that you will appreciate this gesture because he has backup :

a few days ago, after the bi-weekly photography class, he followed you a bit around before going home

you went to grab coffee with some of your friends at the local café

and he just sat at a table behind you lot, making sure not to be noticeable

he was glad that you and your friends had the habit of talking a bit loudly so he didn’t have to sit right next to you to listen to your discussions

anyways

what he heard that day left him completely speechless

you guys were talking about the type of actions you’d consider romantic from a significant other and what you’d love to experience

best believe he was absolutely tuned in when it was your turn to speak

and that’s when he heard you say that you were a delusional and hopeless romantic that would really love to have a secret admirer that sent you letters and gifts

everyone clowned you and kept telling you to give it up because it would never gonna happen

but he, on the other hand, couldn’t be happier

he was going to make your dream happen, with the upmost joy doing it.

fast forward to today, with Jungkook going insane over trying to choose the perfect first-letter-from-a-secret-admirer between the 3 piles of tens of already written letters he had in his room

he settled for this one short letter :

“Like a bee drawn to a flower, I am endlessly attracted to your being, your beauty and existence essential for my survival.“

he signed — your secret admirer not yet ready to put any indication about his identity

he folded it with great care and put the message in a beige ancient style letter that he sealed with red wax

he hesitated on perfuming the letter or not but he eventually decided against it, because what if you don’t like the odor and throw away his letter, rejecting him before even checking him out ?

he was ready to go all out for you, but that didn’t mean he wanted to take reckless risks

he truly wanted to make an impact on you in the best way possible. And that included being very meticulous

when he was done, he walked up to the building next to his and deposited the letter in your letter box, whilst shaking uncontrollably the entire time

he did that in the middle of the day, so he figured he’d check the day after if you opened your letter box

he went there 3 days in a row and noticed that you didn’t really check your letter box that often

so he went against one of the main restrictions he imposed on himself : not to go all the way up to your front door.

but he did. and from now, he’d give you letters by putting them in between the front door and the wall, just above the handle so you’d inevitably notice them immediately every single time.

- the second time : being too greedy

this little back & forth of him writing letters and giving them to you lasted a few weeks

he would send you letters every 2 to 3 days, and they would vary in length but never in substance

they would always be very light and easy to read, whilst intensely dripping with passion and love

the one he sent you yesterday was :

“if anyone ever asks me which is more important between my life and yours, I would tell them that I have died to myself and that I live only for you.”

he was taking his secret admirer job very seriously.

and judging by the way you would take all of his letters and not throw them out — he regularly checked the dumpster assigned to your building — you were visibly enjoying it.

one day, the routine got interrupted when he came up to drop off the LLOTD [love letter of the day] and…. your door was unlocked.

in his defense : he was sliding the letter between the door and the wall like he always did, but this particular time it didn’t want to stay in place ; the letter kept falling

so he grabbed the handle to have more balance while trying to make the letter fit in the crevace

then the handle just… moved. and opened the door.

he didn’t even do it on purpose like,,, it just opened ???

and now he was standing there, frozen in the middle of the hallway with the handle still in his hand, unable to move.

his hands inevitably start to sweat because even if he’s stuck, he knows what he wants to do ; but he can’t bring himself to do it.

he has always dreamed of entering your place. He has been wanting this for so long.

and there was now a golden opportunity to fulfill this dream……. he couldn’t let it pass by him. He just couldn’t bring himself to close the door and go home

so… he enters.

he is absolutely delighted to be in your space ; but he’s also getting very overwhelmed

there is so much to look at, so much to smell, so much to admire and ingrain in his brain

he gives himself like 5 minutes to get around and puts on a timer to make sure to go out on time.

you are living alone so your room’s decoration is very sweet & unique

also meticulously clean and organized

though he takes notes that he should buy you a basket to put your fruits in it, and a duvet cover so you can snuggle your cute self inside, and more plushies to horn your bed

he cannot wait until the time he gets to decorate this place with his own special touch too

the timer goes off indicating that it was time to go back to his place

he pushes the letter between the front door & the wall, then leaves

he was in such a state of euphoria that when he got back to his place he wrote like 5 letters in one sitting

when he noticed that you never really locked your door but just shut it, and since he knows your schedule by heart, he starts breaking into your home a bit more often over time

each time, he tries as hard as he can to not touch or move anything

he only verifies that you do not throw his letters by checking your bins, and lays on your bed while daydreaming of cuddling with you on it while watching movies, or play with you on your pc set up

he is very careful to not do anything that would make you notice that someone is coming into your place while you’re not there, because he doesn’t want you to be scared.

he would never deliberately cause you to be uncomfortable, afraid or to resent him

but it’s getting harder and harder everyday to not touch or take anything when he wants to go back to his place with each and every object that you use as a souvenir

he’s getting tormented…

so close, yet so far from the goal,,,, it was driving him crazy.

- at the same time : a curious appreciation

it’s been a few weeks since you’ve been regularly receiving love letters from a secret admirer

you would be lying if you said that you weren’t completely enjoying and indulging in it

at the beginning, you thought that it was a prank, because it was just so random & the timing was almost too perfect since you started receiving letters right after that one discussion with your friends

but it started being more recurrent, and it progressively made you flattered to receive such sustained and lovely attention

the words of this admirer were sure having a strong effect you.

so much that you kept absolutely every single one of their letters in a little box hidden in your nightstand

nowadays, you were catching yourself waiting for their letters or thinking about their words more than once throughout your day

you didn’t talk about it to your friends because you didn’t want them to make fun of you ; or worse : that one of them admits that this has all been a big joke and that it was all fake

this is your own little secret that you keep between you and your heart

and it’s just letters, beautiful letters at that. The admirer does not seem to be a creep, so you’re safe. There’s no need to alert anyone… right ?

at some point, you’ve tried to find out about the identity of your admirer.

the only information that you have at the moment is their signature : they sign every single letter with the mention — your secret admirer

you do not even know their gender. This is as anonymous as it gets like you cannot make this up

you have no idea about who it could be : no one in your social circle or the circle of your closest friends seems to be a good enough pretender to this spot, so it was surely intriguing you

but what you do know is that you are going to meet them soon. You have to.

- the rest of the time… too far gone to go back

eventually, one of your hoodie disappears. Like straight up vanishes.

you noticed it because you were looking for something to wear as lazy pajamas and it was one of your appointed “trash clothes” to put on

it is not that serious though like you must’ve just lost it.

So you wore something else and went on with your life, not caring much about that.

a few days later, you received a letter from your secret admirer.

it was weird because they haven’t sent you anything in like 10 days ; that was very out of character for them.

so, you were relieved to receive something from them again, but this letter was rather unusual

it wasn’t a poem ; but an apology.

the title was “please pardon me my love” and their writing was very clumsy, like they’ve been shaking while writing it.

in the letter, they admit that they took your hoodie — you assume that it must be the one that you lost the other day. They apologize for it by saying that they just wanted to have a piece of you with them and knowing that you didn’t value this particular hoodie that much they couldn’t help themselves. They promise to buy you absolutely every clothes that you want, and that they’ll replace the hoodie with a new one of your taste by tomorrow. At the end, they beg for your forgiveness and implore you to not stop loving them ; some water drops that you assume to be dried out tears adorning their words.

if you were being honest, you really couldn’t care less about the hoodie disappearing ; but it did make you feel kinda uncomfy knowing that they intruded your sacred space

their confession made you reflect on the past few days, and validated the feelings of confusion and uneasiness you felt seeing some of your belongings slightly changing places sometimes while you did not recall moving them yourself

you were definitely not crazy nor were you having hallucinations.

despite this… you still couldn’t find it in you to fear them or worry in any way.

like, they just took a hoodie that you didn’t care about. This was harmless, right ?

so, for the first time since the beginning of this whole ordeal : you decide to write an answer to them

you didn’t take yourself too seriously : you told them that you weren’t mad about the hoodie, but that the next time they come in here they better clean up your place a bit because you were pretty busy at the moment and didn’t have the time to do so

you would leave it on your desk tomorrow and see what happens

but for now, it was time to sleep and rest. Or at least try.

college crush - 4

summary : college au l when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line?

pairing : shy n clingy bf! jk × black fem! reader

genre : fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count : 3980, on going story

warnings : a bit angsty in the beginning with very harsh self-talk, description of self-neglect and implication of suicidal thoughts because Jungkook has low self-esteem

author's note : thank you so much @armydgirl for commenting “I need more of this” under the last chapter because it motivated me to finish this in like 2 days when I’ve been stuck on this for months. I’m really thankful for everyone who’s been reading this story so far ! There is one last chapter left. What do you think will happen ? (∩˃o˂∩) enjoy my loves and as always, all comments are well appreciated ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა ₊˚⊹♡

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4/ when imagination and reality combines, your dreams come true

- No-thing : there is no good or bad

The morning after you received the apology letter from your secret admirer, and now intruder, you were feeling pretty excited

It’s like their morbid obsession rubbed off on you and you were kind of starting to feel the same ? towards them ?

Was it ok though… to feel this way. You didn’t know

Anyways !

Even though it sounds like you are not making much sense, you’ve had a very fulfilling sleep actually

And it is now time to tackle the daily tasks your world awaits from you : attend classes, study and work

Before leaving you remember to put up the little surprise for your admirer

You already prepared the note in response to their apology letter the night before, so you just install it evidently in the middle of your main table with a glass of water

(you figured since you want them to clean your place they will be thirsty afterwards — hence the water)

Then you attended to your occupations

With an intrigued heart beating hard in your chest from anticipation, and a slight smile on your face

- Any-thing : signs follow, they do not precede

Because Jungkook didn’t have class this morning but he knew you did, he decided to pay you a visit

This visit is special : it is the first one in a few weeks, right after the apology letter

For some context…. it was not looking good for him. Like, he’s been going through a very tough period

When he took the hoodie with him on his last visit, he felt so proud of himself for having the courage to take a piece of you and bring it back to his home

He has never felt this euphoric

He would put the hoodie up to his nose and smell it to ingrain your body odor in his brain

He would wear it to bed and hug himself imagining it was you cuddling him with your arms circling around his waist and messaging his back to soothe him

The euphoria lasted a few days

He didn’t even go back to your place or send letters in the meantime like,,, he was fully satiated

Then your sent started to fade away progressively and he figured he needed to go back to your place

But he realized that… you were kind of actively using this hoodie. You must have noticed it was gone

What if you knew it was him ? What if you were hating him for stealing something from you ?

In his defense, it wasn’t exactly stealing because he planned on putting it back

He wanted to put his scent on it and give it back to you, so you could get intoxicated about him the same way he was about you

But his doubts and insecurities started eating him alive

“What if she thinks you stink ? She would never accept back a hoodie from a dirty man.”

“Scratch that : she would never accept the hoodie back from you at all, because she hates you.”

“You broke into her home so many times and stole from her. Don’t you think there’s consequences to your actions ?

“Karma exists and she’s out to get you”

“Don’t even think you have a chance with her anymore. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t love you and never will again.”

“Hell, I’m sure she forgot you since you don’t even send letters anymore.”

“You’re nothing but a fleeting bad memory, plaguing her brain.”

“Stay away from her, you monster.”

The mental self-harm was so harsh, he absolutly didn’t leave his room anymore

Not to study, not to work — not even to eat

He didn’t go to photography class anymore because he couldn’t even have the guts to face you after all this

He felt so so bad for so long

At some point, he was truly starting to decay and felt like he wanted to see you one last time before dying.

So, he showered for the first time in like a week

Dressed up in all black, popped on a large black bob

And went out, looking for you

It was something like 2 PM on a Wednesday

According to your schedule, you were supposed to be at the campus library studying a bit before your afternoon classes

And like clockwork, right after entering the library, he spotted you from afar

You were at the very end of the long hall, sitting alone with your books and your computer.

Your back was facing him so you couldn’t notice him staring at you with tears in his eyes

How could he let himself rot away when you were the light he needed in his life ?

How could he leave you this way when you needed him to protect, love and provide for you ?

It was inconceivable that he wasn’t taking care of you anymore, and that he even entertained the idea of never doing it ever again

He needed to bounce back immediately.

So, he sprinted back to his place,

Shuffled through his desk to grab a piece of paper and a pen,

And got to work.

He was still crying uncontrollably while trying to put his thoughts onto the paper

After 3 crappy letters and lots of crossed-out sentences, he figured he needed to calm down in order to properly deliver the best piece of literature ever

The one letter that could melt the heart of a statue and that will recover your relationship, without a doubt.

That’s when he came up with the apology letter you received.

Shortly after writing it, he decided on an express delivery to your place,

So you could read it and contemplate on his fate during the night or whatever

And while you do that, he would come the next day bearing gifts :

a brand new hoodie to replace the old one, a flower bouquet to decorate your house and give you a piece of himself and some of your favorite fruits to nourish your tummy and your soul

Their job was to make you realize that he was very serious about this relationship with you.

To remove any doubts about taking him back into your life

This was his plan, and to him it was infaillible.

Fast forward to today

There he was, in front of your door, with his arms full of gifts for you, and on the verge of throwing up and pissing himself on the spot

He waited there a good 10 minutes until someone across the corridor unlocked their door to come out of their room.

Since the last thing he wanted to do was get caught, he hurried inside your place.

He closed his eyes, and almost started to hyperventilate but he managed to calm himself down.

One — inhale… exhale

Two — inhale… exhale

Three — inhale….

On the exhale, he slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by the silence and stillness of your room.

He felt so at ease, so happy to be back — where he belongs.

After a few more seconds in contentment, he decided to install his things and get back out

But as he emptied his arms onto the table, he noticed you left a note on it

He wasn’t sure if it was for yourself or for him, so he took it out of pure curiosity

Upon reading it, his heart almost jumped out of his chest

It was your answer to the apology letter.

You responded to him !!!!

Oh my God.

You finally acknowledged him

AND you deliberately wanted him to alter your living space to clean and order your things

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

This was a gift from God

He was so happy, he fell down on his knees and held the note right over his heart

After getting down from the high, he arranged his gifts onto your table and got to work.

He never cleaned a place this meticulously in his entire life

This was almost cathartic

Like he was cleaning his sins away and prepping for a squeaky clean new slate for your relationship to start again from

When he was done he felt very proud of himself and was so happy to have been able to tremendously help you for something you needed

He didn’t plan on writing anything because he didn’t expect you to answer to him ;

But since you did, and he executed your request, he took a piece of paper and one of your cute bullet pens to write back to you :

“I cleaned your whole entire place just as you asked, my princess. I will always do absolutely everything that you ever request from me, with immeasurable joy and love every single time. I can’t wait until I can permanently take care of you and provide for you at all times. I can’t wait until the day I can hold you close in my arms, look straight into your gorgeous sparkling irises and tell you that I live for you, for you are my entire life. I bought you a new hoodie as I promised. I also bought some beautiful scented flowers and your favorite fruits. Please accept all of this as a proof of my endless unconditional love for you. Take care of yourself my angel, and never forget that you are the light that guides me through darkness. If you ever need me again, I’ll always be right here. — your secret admirer”

He has to physically contain himself from taking anything before leaving

But it’s less difficult than last time, because he never felt so fulfilled in his entire life

He realized that he feels the most joyful and alive when he does things for you.

He is now convinced that he truly lives for you, and that you are promised to him.

After a long and exhausting day, you finally went home.

The excitement and curiosity was eating you alive.

Did they come today ? Did they notice the little note ? Did they clean the house ?

You were truly hoping that they did come, and that if they did, they didn’t ignore you, because that would be sad.

As you open the door, you immediately notice how your room smells fresh and fruity

A quick look around reveals that your room is very much clean, as if it had been ran over by a cleaning crew

But the most surprising thing is the pile of stuff on your table

There were : a new and very cool hoodie, apples raisins and peaches, and a large bouquet of flowers with a very sweet scent.

You were filled with glee and contentment

This is the confirmation that this really isn’t a prank by your friends, but that there is truly someone out there that is invested in you

That is so cute ?!

You are so caught up with all of these gifts and new realizations that you almost don’t notice the letter

A new letter from your secret admirer !!!

This is a gift from God

After reading it… you feel like crying.

Nobody ever made you feel this way. Nobody ever went out of their way to make sure that you were good, that you had everything you needed, that you were taking care of yourself.

To have someone you don’t even know care that much…. is something indescribable.

You couldn’t not develop some feelings back for them, even if you wanted to

They were becoming a constant presence in your life and you truly didn’t want it to stop.

This night, you both fell asleep under the same sky, and asking the same stars to reunite you, for you belonged together.

- Some-thing : flowers bloom, even in concrete

The next morning, Jungkook is going to the local cafe for his occasional dose of caffeine, when he sees something that makes him stop dead in his tracks.

You are walking around the campus, with the brand new hoodie he gave you just the day before.

You must have felt his eyes bore holes into your sides, because you turn around and look right into his eyes.

Realizing you’ve met eyes with the cute nerdy guy from photography class, you politely smile and wave your hand at him

Then, you keep going your way, oblivious about what you’ve caused

He could only instinctively wave back at you with a shy smile

He keeps staring at you walking with a bouncy and bright demeanor until you are out of sight

This whole encounter is so overwhelming to him that he has to rush to the nearest campus toilet

He just saw the literal [love of his life] walk around outside with something he choose specifically for her and smile at him.

You were accepting and proudly using his gifts for you. His proof of his love for you.

It is the absolute and ultimate proof that you are also totally in love with him

He could not contain his emotions even if he tried to. It was too much

So, he locks himself inside a toilet to hide his boner and cry from joy

He is as hard as he is happy. This is everything to him.

Literally all of his dreams are coming true.

So, he decides that from now on, he’ll send you more gifts and love letters than ever

Because he just cannot get over the fact that he can send you stuff and you will just… use them ??

Absolutely crazy and groundbreaking.

The next few weeks, on top of following you everywhere and taking pictures of you, he started stalking you on social media

If he felt like a pretty discrete and laid back admirer before, he definitely feels like a total stalker now

But he isn’t a creep, and you’re receptive to his moves. So it’s not bad, right ?

Anyways

He was mainly in search of a potential wishlist you posted or some posts where you expressed your interest in something

He has bookmarked almost all your “I want this 😖” & “I wish 😿” tweets

Each time he would find a post of you wanting anything, ranging from :

New clothes or cute jewelry to plushies plants and books,

He would buy it and deliver it to your place with an affirming love note attached

Saying stuff like :

“you deserve everything that you ever want and need my love”

or :

“as long as I’m alive, rest easy and know that you will always be taken care of”

But, he also had his own wishlist of stuff he wanted to offer to you

Recently, he bought a cute platted skirt that would would perfectly hug your waist and make your legs stand out — in his opinion — just because he thought it would fit your style

(and it did)

He had tons of carts scattered everywhere on the internet, even on lingerie websites,

Not because he wanted to see you in them but because he wanted you to feel good, comfortable and valued in your own body

Ok he’s obsessed with you but. He’s still an asexual

Talking about that, he is not worried about his sexuality, in fact he is so grateful he fell for you because your were so open and accepting

He overheard you talking about never feeling like anyone would love you just for you, and being scared of being used for your body and never finding true love

That there are multiple ways to love others, and that a relationship shouldn’t revolve around sex

He knew that he had all of his chances and he was the absolute best candidate that met all your standards and that could please and fulfill you in the right way.

Also, he doubled the amount of time he spent at your place

(behind your back, as always)

With each visit, he brings your favorite fruits and sometimes restocks your fridge and cupboards if he sees you’re running out of everything

How does he even manage to finance this lifestyle, you ask ?

Well, do you remember: he is a talented photographer.

He was booked and busy before, but retired when he started college due to lack of time and the loss of all the passion and drive necessary to keep up that kind of side hustle

Now that his passion and drive was back — all thanks to you — He started selling his services as a photographer and as a video editor again.

And he was making bank !

You are such a blessing in his life, he will never be thankful enough for your existence.

You were creating all these opportunities for his to grow as a person and improve his life, it was crazy how he changed so much in so little time.

And to recap the state of The Plan ™️ : he’s making Big Moves.

He was slowly but steadily becoming a known and stable occurrence in your life

Half of the plushies you owned were bought by him.

Some of the coolest clothes and shoes and jewelry : bought by him.

The books that you were obsessed about recently ? You guessed it, bought by him.

Even the only pieces of lingerie you had were bought by him.

He was nourishing your body and nurturing your heart.

Seeing you walk around campus proudly while constantly wearing the very outfits Jungkook once daydreamed about has been an insane experience

Knowing that you were eating the food he bought for you and consuming the letters he kept writing and gifting to you….

(he still checked your bins regularly to make sure you were still accepting him)

It made him feel immense pride and contentment.

He was at his peak in terms of interaction in his life right now.

He never made it this far in a relationship

And he knew he wanted more ; but he didn’t want to burn his wings by flying too high too fast.

He knew that patience was key

And he was right because eventually, you were the one to cross the bridge.

- Every-thing : no matter what happens, the universe expands and time flows

One day, you left a note asking for the number of your secret admirer.

It was random, truly, because you usually never answer to their letters directly.

Sure, you would stick a post-it sometimes suggesting a new type of fruit for them to bring to your place for you to try

Or expressing appreciation for an item they bought you recently and that you really enjoy

But it was still very scattered and anecdotical

So much that Jungkook cherished each and every note of yours in a special binder — and if he could frame them he would.

All that to say : that day was different.

You felt it in the air

It’s been 3 months now since the secret admirer thing has started to be pretty serious… with the admiration.

But at this point, you wanted more.

Did you want attention ? distraction ?… love ?

You couldn’t pinpoint a specific need, and you didn’t know exactly what were your motivations ; but you knew something was missing.

Also you needed an answer to your never ending questions

Who are they ? What are they passionate about ? How do they envision their future ?

…Why you ?

Interrogations and curiosity bubbled in your mind like a bottle of sparkling water

You pondered for quite some time about the way you would go to reach your goal

Should you :

ask them to take you on a date, or

invite them over for dinner at your place, or

go to the cinemas with them, or

have a picnic in a park with them, or…..??

The thing is : every option seemed dangerous, especially because you actually didn’t know a single thing about them

Sure, as of now they’ve never attempted to hurt you and they claim to love you much more than life itself

But. You weren’t reckless nonetheless and you’ve watched too much true crime documentaries to even entertain these ideas

So you settled on a post-it note with “can I have the number of my secret admirer, so I can admire them too ?” written on it

Simple is king !

You went to sleep that night with a knot in your stomach and your heart beating loud in your chest as if it were the day before a final exem

The next day, Jungkook entered your place bearing gifts as always without expecting a thing

While checking around as usual, he noticed the post-it on the door of your fridge asking for his number

… Huh ?!

He literally froze in disbelief and read it over and over again to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

How come you were asking for his number. His. number.

The plan was working like a charm in such a way that he would’ve never expected in a million years

This was so much more than what he could’ve ever asked for

He did try to think about how to make a move to get closer to you ; but he didn’t feel ready yet and wanted to wait more

And now, you’re the one who decided to take matters into your own hands and accelerate everything

It was absolutely crazy

You. wanted. HIM.

Well… not really exactly him

In fact, he noticed you used non-gendered pronouns to address him and realized that you barely knew anything about him

Progressively, he got down from his high and he wiped the tears that fell from his eyes unbeknownst to him

He did want to give you his number, but… the group project in photography class was coming sooner or later and he didn’t want you to connect the dots just yet

He decided to buy a new SIM card from which he will text you

So, he wrote you back immediatly, telling you to wait for him to be ready for you and that he’ll give it to you soon.

A few days later, he came back and instead of delivering the usual LLOTD [love letter of the day] he wrote a note specifically to answer the number question

"Looking at the crescent moon, I see your face in its bright pure aura. Knowing that eventually its going to become a full moon lighting up the sky during the night, like your beautiful face lights up my life each time I look at you, makes me realize I love looking forward to the future only when I know you're going to be in it."

At the end of the poem, he wrote his special number with a heart next to his usual "— your secret admirer" signature

He went back to his place being very much full of glee, and eager to get a response from you.

When you got home from class, you saw his note and your belly immediately filled up with butterflies

Finally, it was time.

Seeing your emotional reaction to their answer you knew you did the right thing

You were going to get your answers to the many questions you've been asking yourself

But, more importantly, you were going to get closer to them.

You pondered for a long time before decinding on what to text them

You wanted to try and write a poem for them too but you felt like you couldn't match their skill and profoundence of their words just yet

You settled on :

"Hey ^^ this is [y/n]. Thank you for giving me your number ! I can't wait to get to know more about you"

Little did you know that… the best was yet to come.

college crush - 5

summary: college au I when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line?

pairing: shy n clingy bf! jk × black fem! reader

genre: fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count: 4,300. on going story

warnings: physical violence ideation (Jungkook wants to slit someone’s throat), light mention of homophobia, description of comp-het, description of sexual violence because of acephobia (y/n is spiraling)

author's note: hi lovelies, it’s been a year since the last update, can you believe it ? I keep saying that there is only one last chapter left, but then I keep having more ideas and the story keeps expending ; so I’ll just stop saying that. ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა This chapter is a bit spicier than all the other ones, Jungkook is getting closer to his goal ! But is it really going to be as easy as he thinks it’ll be ? I truly hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it my loves. As always, I love reading your comments and I hope you know that it really hypes me up to beat writer’s block and finish this story ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

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5/ Wanting to fly the nest as far as he could, the bird aims for the sun, like Icarus, daring to rise to its death

— The bird, that just learned how to fly, soars with all his might

Its been two weeks now since you both started texting each other

At the beginning he was so nervous just thinking about directly speaking with you

He would overthink every single text he sent you for 20 minutes straight minimum

But the conversation started to flow very easily and chemistry began to develop between the two of you

It grew so much that you’ve been exchanging messages every single day with no fail, talking about any and every thing

On top of that, jungkook continued to send you gifts and come to your place while you’re not there

It added a special taste to know that whenever he would send you anything or clean your place or fill up your fridge

You would text him a few hours later to express gratitude and contentment

It filled his heart with pure joy and love for you even more now that he had your approval in real time

He didn’t need to constantly check your bins anymore

Jungkook felt his heartbeat rush and adrenaline spike up every single time you’d send him a message

It was truly heaven on earth

Now, for you… things were a bit different.

Sure, there was a cool situationship in the making

But it just wasn’t enough. you knew you needed more

You couldn’t just fall in love with a concept

You needed to put a face to it.

You decided to get bold today and proposed to arrange a date with your secret admirer

Yes this was a careless and rushed decision, whatever

But you were tired of playing it safe and decided to take matters into your own hands

Since your secret admirer wasn’t gonna be the one to do so

When jungkook received your advance he couldn’t believe his eyes and literally fell to his knees in the middle of the library

His ultimate crush was asking him out.

Asking him, out.

He knows that he’s been making a lot of efforts by talking directly to you everyday

(Even repeating that sentence in his head was making him feel dizzy)

But he couldn’t bring himself to actually reveal his whole identity to you just yet

So, he declines your offer by honestly revealing that he does not feel ready to face you at the moment

He wanted to pretend to be very sick and not wanting to contaminate you

But he absolutely loathed himself for even thinking about lying to you and betraying your trust in him

He still feels like shit because of his cowardliness

But he knows this is for the greater good of your relationship

Now, don’t get him wrong : he’s not near giving up.

The rest of his plan is waiting for the photography class partner project to unfold

But the thing is, their refusal disheartened you a bit

You thought everything was going so well between you ?

Why do they chicken out all of a sudden when it’s time to make things concrete between you ?

Are they very shy ?

Are they very ugly ?

Or are they an actual creepy serial killer that is not supposed to be on this campus ?

You tried to reassure them by stating that you’re sure that they’re a total hottie

And that there’s no reason for them to be shy with you anymore

However, your excitement started to wear off a bit, unbeknownst to Jungkook.

— The bird, finally resting for the first time in a while, inopportunely falls from a breaking branch

The following week on a tuesday, it finally arrives

The group project in photography class. the most crucial event for the rest of The Plan ™️

He tried hard to make a good first impression with his outfit

He wore a hoodie in your favorite color, slim jeans to reveal his thighs (because he overheard you talking about liking strong legs in guys) and black boots to appear more “hard” & “cool” (that’s also your type it seems)

You were wearing a very pretty light dress with some oversized pants and an oversized jacket to top it all

You were so outstandingly beautiful and cool, he just couldn’t compete with you even if he tried

The professor came in at the same time as you (you made it in time today he notes) and started the class directly by talking about the group project

But instead of a duo, like he imagined, the project will be in a quatuor with 2 boys and 2 girls

AND he already made the groups so no one could choose

The room audibly moaned and complained while he remained silent but his blood was boiling

He could not be more confused, angry and disappointed.

While the professor was calling the members of every groups out loud, he prayed to all the Gods and angels listening to please let him be with you

Even if there will be others he absolutely needed to be by your side.

He couldn’t bear leaving you all alone with two random men and no one to protect you

It seems one of the holy spirits heard his desperate pleading and answered immediately

Because the professor called his name right after yours

He doesn’t have the time to digest what just happened because the professor is already rushing everyone to gather in groups and introduce themselves

While everyone rearrange the tables and sit again, he succeeds in sitting in front of you

But he can hardly handle to look into your eyes from this close without fainting

This is the nearest he has ever been to you in real life and it truly feels like a dream come true

He can actually admire you from up close… he can smell you… he can almost touch your hand if he tries… and he wasn’t hiding from you anymore

It felt so right and natural to be in your space and bask in your presence

He was fully floating on a cloud focusing on nothing else but you and your voice

The rest of the class goes pretty smoothly with everyone introducing themselves and giving their inquiry about the project

Though he sat there in silence the entire time

While the only thing he mustered up enough courage to say was :

“Hi, my name is Jungkook. Nice to meet you all”

He was way too shy at the idea of talking to you viva voce in this context

He could try talking with you one-on-one if the project was a duo, like he planned.

But with two other strangers nearby watching and judging ?

Hell no, that was just too much all at once

Nevertheless, he does not regret witnessing you being the absolute brightest star right in front of him, even in silence

You were so full of life, energy and motivation for this project that it was actually hyping him up

Even though he really didn’t give a fuck about it in the first place

But it seems he wasn’t the only person entranced by you

Because why was this other guy clearly trying to flirt with you right in front of everyone ?

Thankfully it seems like you’ve got no clue and you’re not playing into his games at all

But Jungkook has to deal with him.

He wanted to just slit his throat so bad right then and there, without any hesitation.

But he knows he cannot show this side of himself to you just yet, and definitely not in the middle of this class

He’s gonna get rid of him definitely without scaring you off

No other boy has the right to have access to you other than him

You were his soulmate and his only.

He promised to himself to make this punk get it as soon as possible

At the end of the hour, this fucker has the audacity to ask for your number, and only yours

“it’s to talk about the project more in depth, you know !”

The holy spirits truly were by his sides today, because you suggested to have a group chat instead

“it’s to make the conversation about the project more efficient, you know !”

Everyone gives you their number and you create the groupchat right away before you all part ways

The walk home from this session at the photography class was the worst one he’s had in a while

He couldn’t even bask in the feelings of pure joy, love and excitement he has felt by being this close to you

He even gave you his real number for you to text the real him !

That was supposed to be one of the best moments of his life, right before :

your first kiss,

your marriage,

and your first child together.

But instead, he simply felt like absolute shit for witnessing a man blatantly flirting with his promised partner right in front of his face

And not doing anything to stop it and protect you.

He knows he can always count on you to preserve yourself for him and him only

But it certainly won’t last long if he doesn’t do anything

He feels really powerless and he does not like it one bit

He has to reverse the situation to promptly get rid of this parasite and secure his place in your heart

— The heavily weakened bird serendipitously finds some food on the ground

The thing is, he was so focused on his feelings for you and that other douchebag that he did not even notice everything else that happened outside of that

Like the fact that the other girl of the group was clearly trying to hit on him too

but he was so oblivious he only responded to her with vague hmms indicating yes or no

Or the fact that his charm and his silence intrigued you the most and you definitely wanted to spend more time with him to break his shell

Like, he was seriously one of the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen.

The way his long hair and square glasses perfectly framed his angelic face

The way he was not able to say a single word during the entire hour

And the way he blushed + looked away shyly any time anyone glanced for a little too long at him……

His cuteness already caught your eye before but this meeting solidified your crush for him even more

He was effortlessly checking every box of your ideal type one by one, it was not even funny

So much so that you started to wonder if it was worth entertaining a situationship with a potentially dangerous secret admirer

That is not even bold enough to show their face despite claiming to be deeply in love with you

Rather than shooting your shot with the cute nerdy guy from photography class

That is a very real person within reach, even if there is no certitude that he’s interested in you in the slightest

It was starting to hurt your head to think this much about all this

so you decided to open up to your secret admirer

Hoping to wake them up, for good.

After closing the door to his room, Jungkook received a very lengthy message from you where you disclosed all your doubts about him and your relationship

That’s when he truly lost it and started to sob uncontrollably

He realized that he was seriously on the verge of actually losing you for good

After all the hard work he has done to get to this point

He was inconsolable and cried in a ball on the ground for a good ten minutes

After calming down a bit, he realized that you were giving him the opportunity to officially deepen the connection between you

This was his last chance to truly secure his way to your heart, and you were the one giving it to him

He simply did not deserve the pure kindness of your soul and you still gave it to him

He made the very important decision on the spot to bend The Plan™️

You wanted to know more of his identity ? so be it.

He answered :

“My sweetest love. Thank you for trusting me and pushing for me to still be in your life after I’ve been such a coward. I do not deserve your grace, but I will prove to you by all means that my love for you is infaillible. From now on, you will receive pictures from me about myself and my daily life, and even audios of me directly reading my poems to you, if you feel comfortable with that. I will do my best to get you to know me on a more personal level, so you can realize that I am the perfect pretender to be your lifelong partner and that we are meant to be together forever. But know that at the moment, I still can’t reveal my whole identity to you, whether it be my face or my name, because of personal reasons you will soon understand. Please tell me if this satisfies your needs for now, and I will begin immediately.”

He knew he would have to push through a lot of boundaries within himself to uphold these promises

But he was willing to do absolutely anything for you, your love and your happiness

And to be by your sides

When you received their answer, you got reminded why you loved talking to your secret admirer so much

They were so dramatic sometimes, it was really funny and relieved your stress more often than not

You couldn’t do anything but accept their request without a second thought when it was presented in such a classy and solemn way

It was not exactly what you asked for, but you respected their decision and noted their efforts to try and meet your request still

You did not really pay more attention to it and move on with your life

Until you almost choked to death on your tea 10 minutes later

Since they said that they will not be showing their face, you thought they would exclusively send you innocent pictures of their daily life and stuff

How naive of you to think that.

After opening your phone notification you couldn’t help but stare at your screen, eyes wide open, with your eyebrows touching the ceiling

Instead of a candid still of some food on a plate like you expected

You were met with the mirror picture of a literal greek god with a full sleeve of tattoos, right out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel on their head and another one hanging low on their waist

They followed up on the pic with the wittiest text you’ve ever read from them

“You’re such a lucky princess because I just started my night routine. I’ve been itching to send you pictures like these for so long but I had to make sure the timing was right. I cannot wait to include you in my daily life. Do you want me to do a tour of all the skin care products I use to take care of the body you’re looking at ?”

“Oh, and my pronouns are he/him by the way ;)”

There is no way he’s not fucking with you right now. Absolutely no way.

You’ve been gawking at your phone with your mouth agape for so long, you did not notice the trail of saliva connecting your lips to your thighs.

He even has the time to send you another message apologizing if he made you uncomfortable with his naked body and promising to never cross your boundaries ever again

And that from now on he’ll only send you pictures of him fully clothed, even if it might compromise his anonymity

You collect yourself just enough to send :

“Please send me a real picture of yourself. I cannot believe you’re trying to catfish me after we’ve been talking together for so long.”

It was a bit harsh you admit, but you had to make sure that this wasn’t just some enormous prank

And that you’ve been made fun of this entire time

At first, he got hurt that you actually thought that he was a catfish and that he couldn’t possibly be this good looking

But he remembered that he was still an anonymous stalker in your eyes and that you were a very intelligent woman

It was totally understandable that you’d still be on your guard

Jungkook simply answers back :

“I would absolutely never play in your face and break your trust like that my love. You can make a reverse search on this picture. I took it right now and you’re the only person besides me that has ever laid eyes on it on this earth. All of this is reserved just for you.”

You do as he told and… you simply can’t believe it.

He is right : the picture is nowhere to be found on the internet

That’s when it really kicked in

You actually bagged the literal finest man in campus without doing anything

And he is the one that’s absolutely obsessed with you ??

He is the one who spoils you and showers you with love at any occasion without any inquiry on you part ??

You must have saved the entire human civilization in another life, because there was simply no way in hell this was real

You had to apologize. You were truly not familiar with his game.

You answer back :

“Look, I’m sorry to have doubted you but you’ve always been anonymous this entire time and we haven’t really gotten to know each other on a deeper level just yet. You know what ? You can send me all the pictures you’d like, but no dick pic please, I’m truly not into that.”

“Thank you again for accepting to reveal more of yourself to me, I’m really enjoying this ! You look very good…”

When he finished reading your message he was smiling from ear to ear

Oh, he knew he won.

— Against all odds, the bird perks up and flaps his wings again

Following this event, you started sending pictures of each other on the regular

You were sending him selfies mostly, not comfortable enough to reveal your body like he does

Jungkook did not mind one bit

He worshipped every single picture you sent to him regardless, going as far as printing and framing them all

His room was starting to fill up with all the pictures of you that you sent him, along side the stolen cliches he took of you

He was literally living his dream life.

He couldn’t believe how far he’d gone in the pursuit of his love, and how far it led him

On the flip side, you were absolutely flabbergasted.

He was sending you very cute pictures of his daily life like him cooking, gaming, painting and all that

But when it came to the pictures of himself…

He was always half naked or wearing very tight fitting clothes like a tank top and a sport crewneck

He explained that he couldn’t send you pictures of him wearing his daily clothes because he didn’t want you to recognize him in the street

That was only half of the truth tho

He also wanted to impress you with the work he’s been putting in the gym during all this time, just for you

But he truly hoped that you didn’t see him as some sort of fuckboy only interested in having sex with you

Showing you his body was just another way to draw you in. Like the final nail in the coffin

In his opinion, he made enough efforts these past few months to give you a glimpse of the overflowing feelings he had for you

He is absolutely head over heels for you but not in a carnal way if that made sense

And he knows very well that you’re not into that either

He has had crushes and stuff but he used to be a complete loser so no one would give him even a crumb of attention

Of course he very occasionally had some peaks of libido and he always took care of his needs by himself

But he quickly realized that he has honestly never felt sexual attention to anyone

When he compared his experience to the way other boys around him where going crazy about sex in his teenage years…

It was alienating to say the least.

He clearly remembers an instance when he tried talking about it to one of his friends at the time

And they bluntly answered :

“You don’t feel attracted to girls ? Are you gay or something ?”

Yes, he later discovered that he was indeed bi, but that was besides the point

The only thing he wanted more than anything was to develop the deepest and closest platonic & romantic relationship he could with anyone

And have them by his side as a friend and a lover, forever

He could not bring himself to perform as a person he was not just to uphold the expectations about what it meant to be a man

It felt like deep betrayal toward himself and the perfect recipe to be miserable forever in order to have company and be accepted by society

He always thought he was weird and doomed to be alone

Until you came into his life and outwardly expressed your need to have someone exactly like him into your life

You were literally the bright and warm light guiding him out of the dark and cold tunnel of loneliness

A dream of his that was once too good to be true

Was now a reality within reach

He could finally let hope fill his heart to the brim, like he always wanted to.

— the bird keeps gliding, with hope being the sole compass of his unpredictable voyage

The thing is, his plan was working on you

You really enjoyed the glimpses into his life and the occasional thirst traps

It kind of felt like texting a very sweet OF model

So you didn’t know why you still felt somewhat… empty

Like, he did answer your request to see more of him.

Of course it’s reassuring and rewarding to know that your secret admirer (and obsessive stalker) is literally eye candy

But you started to get scared about his true intentions

You knew he loved you for you

At least that’s what the countless love letters, acts of services and gifts he was constantly showering you with lead you to believe

And he has never been sexually suggestive in any way

But you still held back in your feelings in some way

You’ve always craved a special type of romantic connection to someone that was rooted in nothing but pure feelings of love and trust, not lust

And he was clearly giving that to you, at the moment

But.. he’s a drop dead gorgeous college boy in his early twenties

He statistically could not possibly be on the same page as you.

What will happen when he’ll start wanting more from you and you’re not gonna be able to give it to him ?

What will happen when on your first night together he’ll try to make a move on you and you’ll have to reject him ?

What will happen when you’ll be forced to open up about your lack of sexual attraction ?

Will he abandon you on the spot, like all these other guys ?

Or is he too far gone in his obsession with you, that he won’t be able to accept your rejection and his knee jerk reaction will be to be outright violent with you ?

Or worse : what if he’ll pretend to understand that “you need time” to get comfortable with him

Only to try to coerce his way into making you do something you simply don’t want to do ?

You want to enjoy this with him as much as possible, you really do

But these thoughts have always plagued your mind

And you had to share them with him to make sure that he stops getting attached to you before it’s too late.

You just couldn’t let hope fill your heart to the brim, even if you wanted to.