Luke Alvez Fic - Tumblr Posts

Hold You To That

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Prompt - ‘A person could hold a longing in them all their life, but every now and again it broke the surface and breathed.’

Sometimes it was easier to distance yourself from a situation, when you could see it playing out in front of you, could see that you were only setting yourself up for heartbreak, setting yourself up to fail, it was easier to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.

It was the smart thing to do, taking yourself away from the situation would save you a world of pain, of hurt, of wasting your nights away thinking about the what if’s. And you were smart, you usually put yourself first and could deal with things not going your way.

But when it came to him…god you felt like you were the dumbest person alive. You’d tried at the beginning, you really had tried to step back, to put some distance between the growing friendship when you realised your eyes gazed at his smile for too long, when you realised you were doing anything to hear his laugh, you really had taken a step back and thought of the pros and cons.

There hadn’t been too many cons but there was one major one that stopped you telling him how you felt.

Penelope Garcia also liked him.

You could see it a mile away, could see it in the way she insulted him and complained about him behind his back. You could see it in the stolen glances both of them risked and the smiles that pulled at their faces when the other looked away.

You knew letting your feelings develop would only hurt you but by the time you had realised they were there it was too late.

Luke and you had been fast friends, it hadn’t taken more than a conversation or two for you to feel comfortable around him; to start smiling naturally around him. The two of you worked well together, easily able to read each other without a word and moving together silently to catch whatever unsub you were dealing with. It hadn’t taken long for Hotch to notice and the two of you were paired together more often than not nowadays.

The close bond you’d developed at work bled into your personal lives and it wasn’t long before you were spending as much time at the other's house as you were your own. Luke had a draw of your things in his place, clothing and toiletries swapped from your to go bag into his draw and bathroom, his hoodies had found their way into your closest as his own spare sets of clothes lay in their own draw and a collection of Roxy’s toys and spare bowls occupied a corner of your living room like they’d always been there.

By the time you realised you liked Luke it was too late, you and Luke’s lives were so connected, the daily routines you had made around each other were too developed. You tried putting some distance between the two of you, tried keeping it professional and only seeing him at work but Luke hadn’t let that last for more than a few days before he called you out on why you were avoiding him. Obviously you hadn’t been able to tell him the real reason and that had left you standing in front of him like an idiot as your mouth opened and closed before you were saved by Hotch calling you all into brief on the newest case.

Distance hadn’t worked, so instead you tried just shoving your feelings down. Naturally that also didn’t work but there wasn’t much else you could do. It was hard to hide how you felt, watching as Penelope and Luke went back and forth with each other and having to hide how much it hurt you was difficult at the best of times but when you were surrounded by some of the best profilers in the country…well it was nearly impossible. Thankfully though most of the team hadn’t noticed, you were pretty sure Rossi knew from the sympathetic looks he shot you but he had never called you out on it so you didn’t mind you hadn’t completely been able to hide it.

It had been years since Luke had joined the team and not much had changed, Luke and Penelope had only gotten more comfortable around each other, you had continued to fall harder and harder for Luke as each day passed and kept on shoving it so far down until it hurt.

“Y’know,” Rossi said from your side, causing you to startle as you hadn’t heard him. You had been too busy watching Luke lean against the counter, giving Penelope a soft smile as she had her back turned to him, their words not loud enough for you to hear from your desk. “Sometimes we put other people’s happiness above our own too much.”

You turned away from the break area and looked at Rossi who was leaning against your desk, looking at you with a soft look of concern.  

“Rossi,” you began with a sigh, “I’m not about to ruin my friendship with Penelope just to get rejected.”

“Who said anything about rejection?” Rossi shot back, his lips twitching upwards as you rolled your eyes and gestured discreetly over to the pair.

“Seriously, Rossi? Aren’t you meant to be one of the best profilers? They like each other, I’ve known that for years now so any hurt I’m feeling is on me.” You told him, trying to keep your voice firm but it shook a little, betraying you, not that you could hide much from Rossi.

“Y/N,” Rossi sighed, bringing his hand up to rest on yours but you shook your head and pulled away from him as you stood from your seat.

“Please just drop it, Rossi.” You pleaded softly and Rossi just nodded at you sadly, watching as you walked away.

Luke’s attention was pulled away from Penelope and over to you, his smile softening as he watched you and Rossi talking amongst yourselves. It only took a moment before his eyebrows knitted together as he watched you swallow hard, your jaw tensing as you listened to whatever Rossi was saying. It was when you stood up that he took a step forward without meaning to, noticing how shaky your hands were even as you clenched them in a fist to hide it.

He watched as you left the room and missed the way Rossi’s eyes followed him as he left after you.

“Hey,” he called and watched as you tensed before seemingly forcing yourself to relax as you stopped and waited for him to catch up to you with a few quick strides. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” you told him as you looked past his shoulder rather than at him. “Rossi and I were just, it doesn’t matter, everything’s fine.”

“Y/N,” he murmured softly and watched as your jaw tightened slightly, “c’mon talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you told him, keeping your voice as even as you could before taking a steadying breath. “Listen, if there was something to talk about I’d tell you, ok?” You lied and watched as Luke looked over you once more before nodding.

“Alright,” he said with a smile and you felt yourself relax, sure maybe you and Luke would never be a thing and you would spend so much time longing over what could have been but Luke was still here, he was still smiling at you, he was still your friend and that was enough.

It had to be.

“You wanna get some lunch?” He asked you, keeping his tone light and smile in place. “My hands cramping from all this paperwork.”

You laughed and suddenly Luke felt his smile become more real, of course he was still worried over whatever you and Rossi had been talking about but if you wouldn’t talk to him then the least he could do was take your mind off it.

“Sure, I could use a break.” You answered and mirrored his expression back to him even if it did carry a hint of sadness in it, you would savour any moment you had with Luke, dating or not.

“Good, my treat.” He insisted and when you went to open your mouth he shushed you before he broke out into a grin and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he led you to the elevator.

And so it passed like that for a long time, you forcing yourself to be content just being Luke’s friend, watching as him and Penelope settled into whatever kind of relationship they had going and your feelings for Luke just never letting up, never giving you a break.

You thought it might have been easier when Penelope left, much as you hated the thought because you loved Penelope, she was one of your best and closest friends, but not having to watch her and Luke every day at work made it easier to ignore your feelings, ignore the hurt you hated feeling when you saw them together.

It had been easier for a while until covid hit and the team was pulled apart, you and Luke were pulled apart. Where Luke, JJ and Rossi got to stay with the BAU, Spencer and Matt had been sent on secret missions that only Emily, with her promotion, and the other FBI higher ups were allowed to know about, Tara had been sent well honestly you were even sure where she was now but you hadn’t seen here in too long and then there was you.

You had been requested back with the FBI’s Undercover and Sensitive Operation Unit, a job you had worked for years prior to transferring to the BAU. You hadn’t minded at first, honestly you hardly protested at all, Emily promised it was a three month assignment and then everyone would be back together and as much as the thought of not seeing Luke for three months ached another part of you needed it.

But now it had been three years, the undercover mission you had originally been assigned to long since complete, along with four others and here you were in California deep undercover as you worked a drug case. You and Luke hadn’t seen each other for more than a few minutes in nearly two years and now here you were on opposite ends of the country, not even able to call each other for fear of blowing the operation.

Thankfully you were nearing the end of this operation, waiting on one last bit of evidence that would find all the big names in jail before the week was over. It only took two more days before you were in a hotel room, dreading the call where you’d have to decline another operation because…honestly you were drained. You missed your team, you’d done three years of back to back undercover work and you just wanted to go home.

You missed your friends, missed your own bed, your own identity. You missed Luke. God, you missed him so bad. You didn’t know what was happening with him anymore, three years ago the two of you couldn’t have imagined going a day without seeing each other yet alone nearly two years.

You used to love your position with the undercover unit but after spending so much time with the BAU you knew that was where you were meant to be. Just as you sat on the bed and picked your phone up to call Emily and plead with her to get you back it lit up with a call from Luke.

You felt some of the tension leave you just seeing his name before your eyes went wide and you quickly answered it. Luke never called, he knew it was dangerous to call you and you hadn’t let him know your operation was over.

Something was wrong.

“Hey, can you talk?” He asked, a smile on his face as the video call connected but he kept his voice hushed.

“Luke,” You breathed out, cursing yourself as you felt your eyes sting at hearing him for the first time in months, you took a shaky breath before nodding. “I finished my op today, I was just about to call Emily and then you.”

“Oh thank God!” Luke breathed a sigh of relief as his smile broke out into a grin, “I’ve missed you, Y/N/N.”

“I miss you too.” You choked out, feeling the tears you’d tried to blink away well up and you shook your head as you let out a shaky laugh. “I miss you so much.”

You didn’t care if Luke pieced it together, didn’t care that right now you were just too tired to push down your feelings, didn’t care that they had been dragged up to the surface so abruptly and it was too much. You didn’t know if Luke and Penelope were together, you knew they had gone on a date before everything had been ripped apart so you hadn’t exactly been able to keep up to date with how it had gone but right now you didn’t care.

You just wanted Luke.

“Hey, hey, you’re alright.” Luke murmured softly, his own eyes tearing up as he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffed as you wiped at your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired, Luke. I just want to come home, I miss everyone so much, I miss you. I’m gonna call Emily and see if she can arrange for me to come back because I can’t do another six months away.”

“Well then I’m glad I called,” Luke smiled and your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him but before you could say anything Luke spoke, “we’ve got a situation down here and we need you back.”

You let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob causing Luke to grin at you through the phone and you grinned back even as more tears slid down your cheeks.

“Thank you.” You managed to choke out and Luke’s smile widened even more.

Luke had briefed you on what they had so far which, admittedly, wasn’t much. He gave you the rundown and had one of the new tech analysts send you over whatever else they had so once you boarded the plane you filled the five hour flight with getting up to speed with the case.

By the time you landed it was already midday so you got an uber to your apartment, took a quick shower and only spared half of a longing glance towards your bed before changing into some work clothes and heading over to join everyone else.

You felt a wave of relief hit you once you were in the elevator and nearly cried with happiness as the door opened and you could see your desk. You walked in and saw through the window that everyone had gathered in the round table room so made your way up the stairs and stood in the doorway.

It only took a moment for Emily to glance over at you before her face lit up and she made her way over to you, her arms already open and you easily went into them wrapping your arms around her and forcing yourself not to cry.

“Oh it is so good to see you.” She said and you could only nod into her shoulder and grip her a little bit tighter. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you back sooner.”

You nodded again into her shoulder and pulled away from her, giving her a shaky smile. You opened your mouth to tell her it was ok but you were stopped when you saw movement behind her, glancing over her shoulder to see Luke standing up and staring at you with wide, also watery, eyes.

“Y/N.” Luke said softly, so softly you almost didn’t hear him, especially over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.

Emily looked between the two of you as she stepped aside but you hardly noticed her any more as you took two steps forward, Luke moved forward to and pulled you into his arms, you practically melted into them, unable to stop the tears as you buried your head in Luke’s chest and he gripped the back of your jacket tightly in his fists.

“I missed you so much.” He whispered into your hair and you nodded against him, letting out a shaky breath before you were able to speak.

“I missed you too, every day, every single day.” You told him, the words muffled against his shirt but he heard them clearly and you squeezed your eyes shut tightly when you felt him press a gentle, lingering kiss to the top of your head.

The two of you didn’t move, content to stay in each other’s arms after going so long without seeing each other, needing to feel the other against you, hear them breathing and feel them in your arms to reassure yourself that they were here. You probably would have stayed like that all day if you were interrupted.

“Alright, alright we get it, you two missed each other.” Rossi said, causing you to jump slightly and feel more than hear Luke’s chuckle. “But other people missed you too, kid.”

You grinned into Luke’s chest even as your cheeks were stained with tears before pulling away, looking up at him and feeling your cheeks heat up to see him smiling so softly at you. You finally glanced away and looked over to Rossi who winked at you causing you to laugh softly before you let him pull you into a tight hug.

“I missed you too, Rossi.” You murmured, brushing one hand up and down his back as you lowered your voice slightly, knowing that everyone else in the room could still hear but it didn’t matter. “And I’m really sorry I couldn’t be here for you-”

“Hey now, none of that.” Rossi interrupted and pulled you away from him before placing his hands on your cheeks and gently brushing the tears away causing you to smile sadly at him. “I’m okay and you’re back now, nothing else matters.”

Your heart ached as you looked at Rossi, losing Krystall had taken its toll on him but he was right you were back and he was ok, things would be ok. Rossi patted your cheeks gently before he pulled you close and placed a kiss on your forehead causing your smile to brighten.

“It’s really good to have you back, kid.”

And you were back, immediately thrown into work with no more catching up with anyone. It was impossible to crack anything without Penelope and your heart ached something fierce when Luke offered to go and try to get her back. You’d forgotten how much this bit hurt, for three years you hadn’t had time to dwell on it, too wrapped up in your undercover work to even think about your actual life but now it was like you never left.

You shook your head and focused back on the case at hand, working away until Luke walked back into the room and handed a hot mug which you took gratefully.

“How’d it go with Penelope?” You asked and watched as he shook his head with a frown.

“I get it, you know?” He said and your eyebrows knitted together as you waited for him to carry on. “This job takes its toll on all of us but her, it took everything she had and she never complained. I hate that we’re trying to drag her back into this.”

“If there was another option you’d take it, even if it took longer to crack the case, you’d take it to protect Penelope. This isn’t on you, Luke, whatever happens in this case, if Penelope comes back and it’s too much, that’s not on you.” You assumed they were together, they had to be, it had been years since their first date and there was no denying their chemistry, so you’d sit back like you always had and not get it in the way of that, no matter how much you selfishly wanted to after being away for so long.

“God, I’ve missed having you around.” Luke breathed out and you smiled over at him. “When this case is over I’m taking you out for dinner, it’s my turn to buy.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You laughed and shifted closer to him, close enough that your arms brushed against each other and you hesitated for a moment before letting yourself have one selfish moment, Luke wouldn’t think too much of it, you’d been gone for so long it made sense you’d be a bit more clingy.

You let your head rest against his shoulder and felt Luke relax into the touch as he gently rested his head on top of yours, tilting slightly so he could press a kiss into your hair as he did. Neither of you spoke, both of you were content where you were.

That brief moment of peace was all you were able to steal before you were separated again, Luke working with JJ on finding a connection as you stayed with Penelope, who had thankfully come back because you seriously didn’t know how you were going to finish this case without her.

You desperately wanted to ask Penelope about her and Luke, wanted to know as badly as you didn’t want to know but you couldn’t ask her yet. Now wasn’t the time, right now you had to focus on the case.

“I’m telling you I hate this guy, hate him! I mean first he brings me back to this job and I love you people, Y/N, you know I love you with my whole heart but I was out! And then he refuses to work with me, like I’m the problem, me! And now, now Rossi and Emily are teaming up and making me work with him.” Penelope ranted as the two of you walked to the ballpen, a smile on your face as you listened to her.

God, you really had missed being back.

“Good luck.” You grinned as you made your way over to your desk, Luke already leaning against it, as Penelope turned to glare at you before disappearing into the room with Tyler Green.

“Think Rossi will be able to get anywhere with him?” You heard JJ ask as you joined them, leaning against the desk next to Luke who was looking towards the briefing room with a fond grin.

“I think the real question is, will he survive Garcia? It looks like Tyler Green is Garcia's Most Hated." Luke said, amusement clear in his tone and you smiled even as you felt a pang of hurt at the affection in his voice.

“Sounds like you miss it, buddy.” Tara said with a grin and Luke chuckled warmly as he turned back to you all.

“No. He can have that title.” Luke said, the fondness in his expression staying even as you got to work on the case, pointedly ignoring every time you and Luke brushed against each other.

The case seemed to lead to more dead ends than anything else, victims and witnesses refusing to help and share their story, share who their attacker was, it was driving you crazy.

“Here,” Luke said, handing you a warm to go cup and a sandwich from the coffee shop down the road. “You look like you can use a break.”

“God you’re the best, Luke Alvez.” You grinned as you took the items from him and both sat at your desk. “I feel like I can’t complain though, I mean this case is rough but I’ve missed being here.”

“We never did get a chance to talk about your undercover ops.” Luke prompted after swallowing a bite of his own sandwich. “I know you can’t say much but are you ok? I mean from what little you told me and what I was able to piece together from Emily, it seems like it was just back to back assignments with no chance to breathe.”

“I don’t know, I mean, it’s the unit I worked with before the BAU so I already knew how hard it was but…I don’t know, Luke. I mean I’m tired, I’m exhausted but I also haven’t had a moment to think about adjusting back from that to this. It’ll hit me at some point, it always does, but I guess we’ve been so busy here it just hasn’t yet.” You told him, wishing you could go into detail but even if you were allowed to you wouldn’t share it with anyone, especially Luke, he didn’t need to know the horrors you’d seen out there.

Luke reached over and cupped his hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it rest there as he spoke.

“You call me, the second it hits you, you call me and I’ll be there.” Luke promised and gave you a stern look that caused you to smile before you nodded.

“I promise.” You swore and Luke nodded once seriously before a smile broke out on his face and he switched the conversation to a lighter topic and if your gaze stayed locked on his smile for longer than necessary, well you were allowed to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

“Give me a minute,” you interrupted Luke as you watched Penelope leave the briefing room looking shaken. Luke turned to follow your gaze and frowned in concern but watched the two of you leave together and he knew Penelope was in good hands.

“Hey, what happened?” You asked softly as the two of you entered Penelope’s office.

“I don’t want to talk about it but that guy, Tyler Green, is a jerk and he infuriates me.” Penelope fumed and you nodded at her, knowing her well enough to see she’d shut down even more if you carried on questioning her.

“Alright, so we won’t talk about it.” You agreed easily and she turned to face you with a grateful look. “We’re still waiting for leads to be verified so I’m free until they call me away.”

“How are you?” Penelope suddenly asked and you frowned at her, did you really look so bad that both Luke and Penelope were concerned? “Sorry, I just meant, this whole Sicarius thing has been constant since we both came back, I missed you like crazy and we’re together again and haven’t spoken about anything but this stupid case.”

“I’m okay,” you told her, unsure why you were lying so easily to her but hadn’t been able to tell Luke the same thing. “Once this case is over we’ll have a girls night but for now, I really just want to focus on this case.”

“You’ll tell me if you need anything, won’t you? Even just a hug.” Penelope asked and you couldn’t help but chuckle warmly at her as you nodded, a surge of love filling you as you looked at your best friend.

This is why you stayed silent all those years, why you let yourself fall in love with Luke Alvez without a word. It was because you loved Penelope Garcia, she was your best friend and if Luke made her happy then you would never get between that.

“What’s going on?” You asked Luke as you slipped back into the bullpen a while later and Luke shifted closer to you as he filled you in on the new lead, telling you that there was something connected to Sicarius in Georgia.

“JJ, Luke, I want the two of you in Georgia by nightfall.” Emily commanded and you couldn’t help but frown slightly, watching as Luke’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he glanced between you and Emily, even JJ looked slightly surprised you and Luke weren’t being paired together.

“Um, yeah sure, on it.” JJ murmured as she tapped Luke’s arm and gestured for him to follow her.

“Be safe.” You told him softly and he took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze before nodding and turning to follow JJ and you could only watch him leave before turning to Emily who spoke before you could.

“I need you in with Tyler Green, Garcia refuses to work with him, see if he knows anything about Benjamin Reeves and get him and Garcia on the case together.” She said, passing a file to you before turning on her heel and walking away.

You sighed before heading into the briefing room and placing the file down.

“You’re new.” Tyler said as he lifted his gaze to you and you nodded at him.

“Agent Y/L/N.” You told him before jumping right into why you were here. “Benjamin Reeves, does that name ring a bell to you?”

“Well hello to you too,” he muttered but you just sat down next to him and pulled the tablet close to you. “Reeves, no, never heard of him. Should I have?”

“Maybe, he’s a possible Sicarius connection we’re looking into, could be nothing, could be something.” You explained, turning to face Tyler. “ Reeves had a thing for biting people, a wannabe cannibal.”

“Now that rings a bell.” Tyler told you and you raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. “Look up the term ‘overbite’, you should get something.”

It took you a few minutes to pull the servers up, you weren’t bad with technology but you were no Penelope Garcia and all of this looked like a different language to you. Eventually you had overbite searched up and results appeared. You and Tyler went through the chats together, him explaining the private chats to you as you searched for something.

“I don’t get it.” You murmured to yourself causing Tyler to raise an eyebrow at you.

“Get what?” He asked when you didn’t say anything else and just continued to stare at the screen.

“A rich kid like him, he has everything, there’s no way Sicarius found a way to convince Reeves to kill himself when things got bad. This Sicarius, much as I hate the bastard, is smart, he’s planned for every version of events, every contingency, so why bring Reeves in?” You questioned, not so much directing them to Tyler but needing to work through it aloud.

“Think about it,” Tyler said and you turned to look at him expectantly. “Sicarius has this whole operation, something like this costs money. Your Reeves guy, he’s the funding, I’d bet Reeves knows all about Sicarius’ operation and he has special privileges.”

“But soon enough Reeves’ will just be a loose end.” You realised, standing up to go and tell Emily they needed to find Benjamin Reeves.

You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

Before you left the room you turned to Tyler, you needed Penelope on this case and Tyler seemed to be proving useful.

“Listen, we need to know everything Reeves and Sicarius are talking about. We need to find out what their plans are. This could be our shot at Sicarius. Now I can’t do it, you don’t know where this private forum is but…” You said watching the man sigh before he interrupted you to finish your sentence.

“Penelope can. Fine, bring her back in.” He told you and you laughed at him before shaking your head.

“I have a serial killer to help catch, you’re gonna have to grovel and get her back yourself.” You grinned at him and watched him put his head in his hands. “Talk to Rossi, he’s good at messing up with women and winning them back.”

“Emily!” You called as you watched her enter the room, jogging down to meet her half way. “Tell me you still have Reeves’ here.”

“No, he was let go.” She told you and you cursed softly causing her to frown. “What is it?”

“We need to get to him. Now.” You told her and you were already moving past her, nearly knocking into the Deputy Director.

Both of them followed you out and into one of the SUV’s as you filled Emily in on your theory that Reeves’ was a lot closer to Sicarius than any of you had originally thought, that Reeves could be the one to lead you to the head of the network.

“Fuck!” You cursed as you all entered the house and saw the Senator dead on the floor, bite marks clear on her face and body and you turned away from her, not able to feel anything but anger at the thought of your best lead slipping away.

The ride back to the office was quiet and you prayed Penelope had managed to find something, no doubt that Tyler would have listened to you and convinced her back to the case. You checked your phone before getting out of the car and forced yourself to breathe when you saw Luke hadn’t texted you back.

As you and Emily walked in Tara was already making her way over to you with a tablet in hand.

“Benjamin Reeves' jet just touched down at the Municipal Airport in Whitfield County, Georgia." She told you both urgently.

“What?” You said, frowning as you snatched the tablet of her and read over it.

“That's where he said the ‘buried treasure’ was.” Emily murmured as she looked over your shoulder and down at the tablet.

“Something's not right.” You said as you pushed the tablet into Emily’s hands and pulled your phone out, already pulling up Luke’s contact.

“What...he should be flying to Brazil. Why would he lead us to more evidence?” Emily asked in confusion as she thought back to their conversation.

“You think it's a trap?” Tara asked her but Emily shook her head.

“No. I think Benjamin Reeves is a patsy and he's too dumb to know it.” She said.

“I’m calling Luke, I’ll let him know him and JJ have company.” You said, phone already against your ear as you spoke.

“Hey Y/N/N, we’ve just got here, how’s everything back there?” He asked and you felt a shiver of fear run through you, something really wasn’t right with this case and it had you on edge. Every part of you wanted to tell Luke to fall back, that it was a dead end and to come home, part of you wanted to scream at Emily for not letting you go with Luke.

“Reeves is coming to you.” You said instead and pushed everything down into the same space you kept your feelings for Luke. “His jet just landed there, be careful Luke.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine.” Luke assured but something in you wasn’t letting you relax.

“Luke,” you breathed into the phone and you heard him tell JJ to wait a second, there was some rustling and you assumed he was taking the phone off speaker and moving a few steps away from JJ.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, seeing Tara and Emily looking over at you and you followed Luke’s lead as you moved into the hallway.

“I don’t know, ok? I just-Luke, I have a really bad feeling about this one.” You told him, not wanting to worry him but you always trusted your instincts, you’d rather Luke be overly aware of his surroundings and nothing happening than have him let his guard down and Reeves get the upper hand.

“Alright, okay, I trust you, Y/N. We take this one seriously, careful every step of the way. I’ve got JJ watching my back.” Luke assured and you took a shaky breath that he picked up on. “Hey, I promise you I am going to be back with you soon.”

“God, I hate Emily for not letting me go with you.” You mumbled into the phone and let Luke’s laugh wash over you.

“Yeah, right now I’m pretty glad she kept you there if you think something bad is going down out here.” He told you and you couldn’t help the fond eye roll that escaped you. “Rather have you worrying back there than risk anything happening to you out here.”

“Just be careful, ok?” You asked softly and you heard his voice soften too when he spoke.

“I promise.” He told you seriously, causing you to nod even though he couldn’t see you. “We’re gonna head out now, satellite found a hidden door, our body cams and radios are gonna be on the whole time, alright?”

“Alright. Just…I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“Yeah Y/N/N, I’ll be home soon.” He said and the two of you let the silence wash over you before you finally pulled the phone away and hung up, heading to the briefing room where everyone else was already set up.

“We’re live.” Penelope said as the screen showed both body cameras and she pointed out which was which.

You moved over to stand at the table, the radio in front of you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, hardly let yourself blink as you scanned the screens in search for anything.

You really didn’t like this.

The team around you spoke but you paid them no mind, only listening when Luke’s voice came through the radio.

“We’re going in.” He announced as you watched him pull the bunker door open and you stood straighter at his words, dread filling you as they entered.

Luke walked in first and JJ followed after him, giving you perfect sight of both Luke and the bunker. At first it just looked like the other shipping containers that had been found but then you saw something, something the others hadn’t clocked yet.

“Oh my god.” You whispered and startled when a cell phone rang in the container.

“What the hell is that?” You heard JJ ask but your hand pressed the button on the radio before anyone could register what was happening.

“Luke, get the hell out, it’s a bomb!” You yelled into the radio and watched as Luke shouted at JJ to get out.

Then the cameras went out and you could only stare at them in horror.

“Luke, Luke, come in.” You said into the radio but there was no answer. “Luke, please.”

The team around you spoke but you couldn’t hear them, you continued to plead into the radio, begging for Luke to answer you until you were pulled away and only then did you snap back to reality to see Rossi looking at you in concern but before he could say anything Penelope called your attention to the screen.

“Oh! Oh! One of the camera’s is back online.” Your head shot around, tears falling harder down your cheeks when you realised it was JJ…Luke’s was still out. “Where’s Luke? I take back every mean thing I ever said about him. Please let him be ok.” Penelope said before excusing herself to see if she could get communications working from her office.

You didn’t have it in you to be hurt by the blatant reminder that him and Penelope were a thing, you didn’t care, you just needed him to be ok.

You turned to leave the room but Rossi caught you by the arm and gently spun you around to face them, Emily raised an eyebrow at you as Rossi spoke.

“Where are you going?” He asked and you shook your head as you tugged your arm free from his light grip.

“Georgia.” Was all you said before turning to leave again but Emily stopped you this time.

“Y/N, wait-”

“I’m going, Emily!” You snapped as the tears fell harder down your face. “You already stopped me going once, you’re not stopping me again.”

“Douglas,” she said after giving you a hard look, “it’s time.”

The Deputy Director didn’t say anything, just looked from Emily to you before nodding and gesturing for her to go. You didn’t know what they were talking about and honestly you didn’t care, you were going to Georgia.

You pressed the button for the elevator and shot Emily, Tara and Rossi a confused look as they stood with you but before you could ask what they were doing Garcia came up to them just as they stepped into the elevator.

“Where are you- you’re going to Georgia. Driving or…oh,” Penelope managed a smile as she nodded at you all, piecing together something you hadn’t. “Return it filled up and not just with fuel. Bring them home.”

“We will,” Emily said confidently enough that you believed her and you just hoped she was right. “Wheels up.”

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at her, you hadn’t asked but with all the politics and budget cuts it made sense why the jet hadn’t been mentioned. You didn’t think too much about it though, just thankful you had a quicker way of getting to Luke.

The hour-long flight felt like forever. Rossi sat next to you on the plane but other than holding your hand and letting you squeeze it tightly in yours he didn’t try and comfort you. You hadn’t stopped crying, you needed to see Luke with your own eyes, praying to God he was alright.

“Oh, thank God.” Emily said as you arrived on the scene and JJ and Luke made their way over to you.

You had frozen a few steps behind Emily, Tara and Rossi when you saw Luke. He looked fine, a bit beat up but considering what had just happened he looked fine. Your eyes filled with tears again and Luke’s gaze immediately drifted past the other three to land on you, making his way over to you just in time to catch you in his arms as you wrapped him in a tight hug.

Luke hugged you back just as tightly, burying his face in your hair and struggling to hold back his own set of tears as he heard you sob into his chest as your fingers dug into his back with how tightly you held him.

The others watched on as they spoke quietly among themselves about what had happened but Luke shut them out and focused solely on you. He knew he loved you, hell he’d known that for years now, but he never realised just how much until he’d nearly been taken away from you. Before he passed out, not even registering if he was ok or not, his thoughts had been consumed with you, regret from not telling you how he felt, guilt that you were watching him die through the body cam, sadness that he’d never felt your lips against his.

He swore to himself he was going to tell you.

“I’m alright, cariño, I’m alright.” He murmured into your hair and you shook your head, shifting into the hug like you could bury yourself further in his chest. “Yes baby, I’m ok, I promise.”

It took a few more minutes until you were able to pull away from each other and even then you didn’t go far, your hands coming up to cup Luke’s face, his hands covering yours as he ran his thumb across your knuckles.

“Next time I’m coming with you.” You told him shakily as tears continued to slide down your face and Luke chuckled as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Not a chance.” He answered and you just shook your head. “But the next time you have a bad feeling about something I’m listening.”

Luke leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, murmuring once more that he was fine, before he wiped at your tear stained cheeks.

To nobody’s surprise Reeves turned up dead and Sicarius was missing again. With all the evidence from the container turned to ashes there wasn’t much you could do but head back to Quantico.

You were exhausted by the time you got onto the jet and were asleep against Luke in seconds of being up in the air. Luke wasn’t complaining though, he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you even closer.

“So does your brush with death mean you’re finally ready to tell her how you feel?” Rossi asked once he was sure the girls were distracted and you were asleep.

“You’ve been pushing this for years now, Rossi.” Luke sighed, looking down at you in his arms and thinking about how right it felt. “Every time I told you no, I couldn’t risk our friendship, couldn’t risk losing her.”

“And now what are you telling me?” Rossi asked with a smile, knowing full well what the answer was but wanting to hear the younger man say it.

“I’m telling you that I nearly died today.” Luke said steadily and paused for a moment, Rossi didn’t say anything, knowing he needed to sort through his thoughts. “I nearly died today and the last thing I thought was I really hated that Y/N was watching this. I didn’t want her to see that, Rossi.”

“I know you didn’t, kid.” Rossi told him, thinking back to your reaction back in the briefing room, watching you shut down, plead with a dead radio and snap at Emily.

“I’m telling you I love her.” Luke finally confessed out loud. “I love her and I have for longer than I know and I already lost so much time with her when she was sent back to the undercover unit and I nearly lost the rest of my life with her today. I can’t risk having another day where she doesn’t know, even if she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t care anymore, I need her to know how I feel.”

Rossi sat back in his seat with a smug look of satisfaction that had Luke rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile. For years now Rossi had been hounding him over when he was going to make his move, he knew if this worked out for the two of you he’d never heard the end of it from the man.

“Attaboy.” Was all Rossi murmured before the two of them settled into silence and Luke let himself savour the feeling of you in his arm.

By the time you were walking back in the building Tyler Green had been released without charges for his cooperation, another lead came up and Luke and Tara were being assigned to it and before you could say anything Penelope rushed over and took JJ and Luke into her arms.

As Luke, Emily and Tara worked on the death row inmate lead you and Rossi sat in the briefing room with Penelope in an attempt to pull up anything about what Sicarius’ next plan was. Like most of this case though it seemed impossible to find a solid lead even  after the hours you'd spent reading through the forums.

It was when you had moved to comparing the victims that Penelope’s phone rang and you glanced at her questioningly as she excused herself in a hurry, turning to look at Rossi who just shrugged and turned back to the boards in front of you.

“Here,” You said as you handed Luke a mug of coffee before pulling a chair up next to him at his desk, “you look like you need it.”

“Thanks.” Luke sighed tiredly as he brought the mug up to his lips, you were able to catch a soft smile before it was hidden by the mug. “This case is exhausting.”

“No luck with the death row inmate then?” You asked and he sighed again, a deep and tired one that you felt deeply, you were all running on even less sleep than usual as this case took up every moment of your time.

“We have a guy who’s prepared to die to keep the man he loves safe. The boyfriend just came in and gave us evidence that Herrera couldn’t have committed the murder because they were together. Now Tara and her girlfriend are fighting but at least we got the guy off death row.” Luke filled you in between sips of coffee and you watched him lean back in his chair and let his eyes fall closed.

“And I thought me and Rossi were having fun scrolling through post after post of wannabe serial killers.” You chuckled tiredly causing him to turn his head and smile softly over at you. “How are you holding up anyway? I feel like we’ve barely had a minute after coming back from Georgia.”

Luke let out a chuckle as he nodded, bringing his hand up to rub at his face before letting it fall, he seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching across and taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing across your knuckles as he locked eyes with you.

“Y/N, I heard that bomb go off and I didn’t know what was gonna happen.” Luke sighed and you squeezed his hand softly, trying to offer some comfort without interrupting him. “I figured I could have died, now I know Sicarius timed it perfectly and warned us but then, I didn’t know if I was gonna live or die and my only regret, the only thought in my head was-”

“Y/N, Luke!” Penelope exclaimed loudly, her heels clicking against the floor as she ran into the bullpen and just like that whatever peaceful, hopeful moment that had settled between you and Luke vanished as you jumped, his hand pulling away from yours as he turned to Penelope, your gaze staying on him a second longer before you turned and faced her too. “Meeting room, now!”

Luke turned to glance at you and you shrugged before following the other woman into the room where JJ, Emily and Rossi were already gathered. You took a seat next to Luke, desperately trying to ignore the way your knees brushed together and forced yourself to focus on Penelope informing everybody about her theory on how Sicarius hunted.

It felt like there had been a shift in the case with the new information and you wanted to be happy over it, hell you were happy, for the first time since you’d been called in it actually felt like you could catch the unsub. But then there was the Luke of it all. You had been so close, Luke’s hushed words felt like the confession you’d wanted for so long and you were so close.

“Y/N, I need to talk to you. Now.” Penelope said as when everyone but you and Luke left the room. You glanced at Luke who just shrugged at you before Penelope pushed him out of the room, Luke letting her with a laugh.

“Penelope, are you alright?” You asked as she paced in front of you, her hands fidgeting with each other before she stopped in her tracks to look at you.

“I kissed him.” Penelope rushed out and you stared at her in confusion as you waited for her to continue only for her to stay silent as she looked back at you with wide eyes.

“You kissed who?” You prompted, eyebrows frowning as you glanced out of the window, your gaze falling on Luke but not sure why Penelope would seem so flustered over kissing her partner.

“I kissed Tyler.” She clarified and your head shot around to face her as your eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed Tyler Green?” You exclaimed and she shushed you even as she nodded, confused as she watched your frown deepen. “What the hell, Penelope?”

“I know, I know I said I couldn’t stand him and that he was a jerk but you know…and he ended up not being so bad and I kissed him.” Penelope rambled but when she saw you shake your head she paused. “Are you ok?”

“What about Luke?” You finally asked, keeping your tone even despite being furious with her. For years you’d pined after Luke but kept it to yourself so she could be happy with him and now she was here, quite casually telling you she had kissed another guy whilst her boyfriend was sat in the next room.

“Luke? What does Luke have to do with this?” She asked, seeming genuinely confused causing your eyebrows to knit together. Neither of you said anything for a long moment before Penelope broke the silence. “Oh my god, you think me and Luke are dating.”

“You’re not?” You asked in confusion, head spinning at the new information.

“We went on one date three years ago.” She told you with a slightly panicked laugh and you could only stand there and stare at her wide eyed. When you continued to stay silent Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at you in shock. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”

“Penelope!” You hissed stepping closer to her and risking a glance out of the corner of your eye to see the team had turned to look up to the window at her raised voice.

“You like Luke!” She exclaimed and you could do nothing but collapse into one of the seats, unable to deny the statement but still reeling from learning that the one date you knew about was all that had happened between them. “Oh my gosh, you like Luke and you didn’t tell me! I mean I know he’s y’know,” she said and pulled a face, “Luke, but you two would seriously be so cute together!”

“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” You asked, feeling like you were drowning with how confused you were. “I thought you liked Luke. I thought you were together this whole time.”

“Y/N, me and Luke had one date, it didn’t go anywhere. Did I like him? Sure but I wasn’t heartbroken that we were better off not dating. Wait, is that why you never said how you felt about him? How long have you been keeping this a secret?” Penelope asked and she seemed genuinely upset for you.

You felt way too overwhelmed right now and leaned your elbows on the table, resting your head in your hands as you took a shaky breath before looking back at her to see her sit in the seat next to you.

“You always had this love-hate thing from the beginning,” You stared, knowing you wouldn’t be able to leave without answering her questions. “You didn’t need to be a profiler to see the chemistry between the two of you, everyone knew something would happen between you and him. So I kept my mouth shut.”

“Wait, you’ve liked him since he joined?” Penelope asked sadly and you just shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t say straight away. I mean we hung out together outside of work after he’d been here for a month or two, I spend as much time at his place as I do my own, you know? At some point I started, I don’t know, I wanted to be with him.” You told her, looking down at your hands as you messed with them to avoid her eyes. “But I, I saw the way you looked at him when he looked away, I saw the way he smiled at you when you called him names. I didn’t want to mess with anything between you two and then when I came back, I just assumed the two of you had finally gotten together.”

“There was never anything between us. I mean sure we flirted but it wasn’t serious. Maybe it could have been years ago but too much time passed and nothing happened.” Penelope sighed and you glanced up to see her frowning. “You should have told me.”

“Yeah, now I know that.” You murmured, your mind on all the time you could have potentially had with Luke. “You really don’t like him?”

“Y/N, if I wanted Luke Alvez I would have done something a long time ago to have him,” she told you, “plus I probably wouldn’t have kissed Tyler, who by the way is so hot.”

You let out a shaky laugh before nodding to yourself. Now things were looking up, the case seemed like it might actually be possible to solve and Luke words from before that you desperately wanted to believe were leading into a confession seemed like a more realistic outcome now.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” Penelope said apologetically but you just smiled at her as she answered it, standing up and gesturing for her to stay in the room as you left.

You kept your head down as you walked out of the room, thoughts racing a mile a minute as you made your way out of the bullpen area, missing movement from the corner of your eyes as Luke broke away from the rest of the group. You hadn’t realised he had followed you out until he jogged up beside you and caught your hand in his, stopping you in your tracks.

“Hey,” he said softly as he stood in front of you, his eyes filled with concern. “Is everything alright? Things looked pretty serious between you and Garcia.”

You hesitated a moment, it would be so easy to tell him now. There was nothing to stop you, no fear of losing two of your closest friendships lingering over you anymore.

“The thought in your head,” you said, causing him to frown slightly in confusion at the change in topic, “the thought in your head when the bomb went off, what was it?”

Luke’s face shifted to recognition as he looked back at you after glancing around at the people walking through the hallway. He shook his head before he gestured for you to follow him, not that he needed to as he kept his hand in yours as he pulled you into one of the empty meeting rooms.

“How much I regretted not telling you how I feel about you.” Luke said once the door was closed and he turned back to you. “How I’ve been in love with my best friend for years but I wasn’t brave enough to ever tell you.”

As he spoke he got closer to you, raising his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone and you felt frozen to the spot, scared to breathe in case you shattered the moment and he pulled away.

But Luke wasn’t going anywhere, not now that he had finally managed to force the words past his lips. He leaned down and rested his forehead gently against yours as he waited for you to say something.

“I thought you died,” you finally choked out, watching as his face softened and his other hand came to rest on your waist. “I thought you died and I hated myself for not telling you that I’ve been in love with you for as long back as I can remember.”

Your words were quiet, barely more than a whisper but with how close you were pressed against each other Luke heard them clearly. A grin broke out on his face, he tried to reign it in but it was impossible when the person he’d fallen so hard for was telling him his feelings were returned.

His eyes glanced down from your eyes to your lips and he watched as you smiled back at him. It was all the permission he needed to lean down and press his lips to yours. The kiss was nothing more than a brushing of lips first before it turned into something more. Luke’s hand on your cheek made its way up to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands, as he pulled you impossibly closer with the hand around your waist before pressing you against the wall. Your hands found themselves pressed against his chest as you let yourself explore it and the kiss…

The kiss was filled with a mix of emotions, so much passion, so much longing, so much desperation. This was a kiss that was years in the making, a kiss both of you had only let yourselves dream about, neither of you thinking it would ever become a reality.

You were forced apart when both of your phones chimed at the same time, Luke pulling away first and the pair of you breathing heavily as you caught your breath, Luke’s forehead coming back down to rest against yours as he grinned at you and you mirrored the expression back.

“I promise you, cariño, the second this case is done I am taking you out.” Luke promised and you couldn’t stop the breathless laugh that escaped you as you nodded and put his shirt back into place.

“I’ll hold you to that, Alvez.” His smile seemed to get even wider as he ran his hands through your hair, smoothing the strands he had held.

Your phone’s pinged again and Luke sighed before dipping his head down one more to press a rushed kiss against your lips. When he pulled away for a second time he pulled his phone out and showed you that you were both needed back in the briefing room.

As the two of you entered Luke held your chair out for you and you felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at him before sitting down, glancing over at Luke as he rested his hand on your knee but he focused his attention on Emily though you could see the smile pulling at his lips.

When you finally looked away from him you caught Rossi and Penelope’s gaze. Rossi looked at you with a proud smile on his face, even if it was slightly smug and you couldn’t help but smile back at him as he winked at you. Penelope’s face had broken out into a full on grin that wasn’t entirely appropriate considering what Emily was saying but you let your smile widen as you looked at her, glad things had worked out and she wasn’t mad at you.

As Emily spoke you sat back in your seat. Luke liked you back, something you never thought would happen and wished like hell you had just spoken to Penelope about this years ago but it didn’t matter now. Now all you needed to do was solve the case, something that seemed possible now, especially with the motivation of a date with Luke at the end of it.

__________

Luke Alvez Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -

@averyhotchner​, @sia2raw​, @silverose365​,  @alexxavicry​,  @randomwriter1021​, @catlynhoss05​,  @mrslizzyolsen​,  @xxchaotic​, @dumb-fawkin-bitch​, @pedritoswife​, @navs-bhat​, @jessicalee97​, @darling-seraphina​  

I Never Learned—God's very simple & Love shouldn't burn pt. 1

I Offered You All That You Yearned

read on ao3 | part 2 (coming soon)

⚠️Content Warnings for this chapter: self-harm, panic attacks, & self-hatred/depreciation ! PART 2 OF THIS FIC WILL INCLUDE: death/dying (major character death), grief, terminal illness, & more ! this chapter can be read as stand-alone, but if you're the type to get invested, and any of these topics trigger you, please consider skipping this story. please read responsibly!

Pairing: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid

WC: 2.1k

Summary: “You’re right; everything possible will exist in at least one universe, but I don’t think it’s possible to not love you like this, cariño,” Spencer grins, cheeks flushing pink as Luke speaks, heart racing like a lovesick teenager. “And I think any version of me would be crazy not to ask you out.” “Mhm… and what makes you so sure I’d always say yes?” The younger brunette asks as if he can imagine it– them any other way. “Are you saying you wouldn’t?” Spencer shrugs with a smirk. “I don’t know… I had plenty of other options besides the FBI; we could’ve never met.” “I don’t think so,” Luke pulls his partner closer, almost engulfing him in his embrace, enveloping the younger agent in his arms, and Spencer has never felt so safe. “I think we’re inevitable, cariño. I know we are.” - or, 5 times luke proved to spencer that he wasn't going anywhere + the one time he had to leave

Notes: 100% self-indulgent ralvez angst dont mind me also, all posts related to his fic will be tagged with #love shouldn't burn where i'll be yelling about different things i include in this fic

One

“Do you think we’re together in every multiverse?” He asks on the couch one night.

The sun had long since set, TV screen and soft lamps illuminating the space– their space—a home they built together, pictures, books, and figurines filling the gaps in the shelves around Luke’s apartment—starts shining in the clear night overhead.

Spencer doesn’t respond right away, tucked against his boyfriend’s side, book in hand, pausing to recall what’s happening in the show that he’s only half listening to.

“The multiverse theory suggests there’s an infinite amount of universes for every decision ever made. It states that everything that could be possible is in at least one universe.”

Luke smiles as his partner speaks, listening before pulling him closer, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s forehead, murmuring, “Never change, Spence,” softly, adoration overflowing from his lips.

“You’re right; everything possible will exist in at least one universe, but I don’t think it’s possible to not love you like this, cariño,” Spencer grins, cheeks flushing pink as Luke speaks, heart racing like a lovesick teenager. “And I think any version of me would be crazy not to ask you out.”

“Mhm… and what makes you so sure I’d always say yes?” The younger brunette asks as if he can imagine it– them any other way.

“Are you saying you wouldn’t?” Spencer shrugs with a smirk.

“I don’t know… I had plenty of other options besides the FBI; we could’ve never met.”

“I don’t think so,” Luke pulls his partner closer, almost engulfing him in his embrace, enveloping the younger agent in his arms, and Spencer has never felt so safe. “I think we’re inevitable, cariño. I know we are.”

Two

Their apartment is dark when Luke gets home.

He treads carefully, wading through the still silence to turn on a light, frowning as the living room unfolds in the lamplight.

Spencer’s presence, Luke has learned, is loud, and he loves it.

It’s books and papers scattered and stacked haphazardly across floors and surfaces and some constant noise—hums or whistles, music, the TV, audiobooks, anything.

It’s a warmth against his side, curled up with a soft blanket and a book, coffee with too much sugar, and burnt meals but perfect pastries filling their kitchen, Spencer explaining the science of baking while they scrub the charred reminds of their dinner off their last good pan.

And it’s every light in the apartment on, brightness barely holding a candle to the spark in his eyes, a flame burning with brilliance as he speaks, words building new worlds with every idea that Luke could live in forever, listening to his partner until the end of time.

But it isn’t this—an empty living room with Roxy curled up on the couch, alone while she waits for her owner to arrive, the floor devoid of books, files, and dirty dishes, and Spencer’s favorite blanket missing from his reading chair.

“Rox,” Luke’s voice shatters the silence settled over the empty space, barely above a whisper as he speaks, frowning when he finds the lack of life in their apartment. “Where’s Dad, Rox? Where’s Spence?”

The shepherd stands, walking over to him with a sad wag of her tail and a whine, nuzzling Luke’s hand.

“Where’s Spencer, Roxy?”

She paces to the closed bedroom door—which they usually leave open to allow Roxy to come and go as she pleases—whimpering as she sits down.

“Good girl,” Luke whispers, swallowing the lump in his throat as he enters the bedroom, stopping to stare at their made bed in the dark. “Stay here, Roxy. Stay.”

His hand hovers over his hip instinctually, reaching for a gun that isn’t there as his gaze sweeps the room, landing on the light flooding from the crack under the connected bathroom door.

“Spence?”

His heart hammers as he approaches the door, holding his breath as he listens for his partner.

“Cariño? Can I come in?”

It’s silent for another suffocating second, and then:

“Luke?”

“Spence? Baby? Is everything okay?”

A choked sob escapes through the door, and Luke has to stop himself from bursting in, taking a steadying breath while his chest aches.

“Spencer?”

“I’m sorry– Yeah– Yes, you can come in. I’m sorry.”

He takes a tentative step inside, stopping in the doorway at the sight of Spencer curled up in the corner, cradling his arm against his chest with a blood-stained towel wrapped around his wrist.

“Oh, cariño–”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry–”

Luke’s by his side in an instant, immediately pulling his partner into his arms, tucking him against his chest, tears soaking through his shirt.

“Shhh… it’s okay, Spence. It’s okay. I’m not upset. Okay? I love you. It’s okay,” He murmurs a string of reassurances, running a gentle hand through Spencer’s hair while he starts sobbing in earnest, shaking in his boyfriend’s arms.

“‘M sorry. I’m so sorry–”

“It’s okay, cariño; I promise.”

“No, ‘s stupid. ‘S so stupid, and now you’re gonna–”

“No. No. Listen to me. I’m not going anywhere, Spence. I’m not leaving. Okay?”

Spencer spent the first few months of their relationship tiptoeing along the edges, dancing around the other agent, one foot already out the door, terrified of being left behind again and ready to run at the first red flags, especially after Luke learned how stupid his, supposedly genius, brain can be, but it never came.

“I’m not leaving, Spence. I love you.”

Three

“Do you want to get married?”

Luke hits the brakes, just short of slamming them, tires screeching to a stop in the middle of the empty road, his heart hammering as he looks over at his partner, seemingly unphased by everything, and usually, the older brunette would be too, they talk about their future all the time, but–

“Jesus, Spence. You’ve been nonverbal for the past four hours, and you start with that?”

Spencer blinks at him owlishly.

“Well, I’m not proposing–”

“You better not be. I want a candle-lit dinner and a ring,” Luke laughs slightly at his joke as he starts driving again before adding, “That was a joke. Just– maybe not while we’re on a case.”

The younger brunette humors his boyfriend with a sarcastic chuckle, nodding.

“I was just thinking about it; we’ve talked about it, but it’s always been like…” He pauses, searching for the right words. “We’ve been talking about it forever–”

Since their first date, actually.

Luke doesn’t remember how the conversation started—Spencer probably does—but they were in the middle of dinner when–

“Do you want to get married?”

He nearly spat out his wine right there, caught off-guard while his partner apologized profusely.

“But we’ve always talked about it like it’s our future, and now it’s been a few years, and my mom is–” Spencer frowns, shaking his head. “I’m not proposing, and I get if you aren’t ready or don’t want to, but–”

“Yes.”

Spencer freezes, his turn to gape at Luke while the older agent drives, eyes wide and bewildered.

“Yes, I want to get married. Not yes to your not-proposal,” Luke smiles softly, still staring at the road ahead as he takes one hand off the wheel, resting it on his partner’s bouncing leg. “But I will say yes if you beat me to it, Spence; you don’t have to worry about that. I’m all in.”

Four

Luke has always been competitive.

And Spencer likes winning, sure, and he’s never been one to take it slow, but he’s more ambitious, more goal-oriented, rather than focusing on the competition, looking ahead instead of behind.

Luke, on the other hand? Competition is in his blood, so naturally—of course—he beats Spencer to it.

The day starts with breakfast in bed, which Luke eats most of (Spencer has never been a fan of breakfast), and cups of coffee, one with too much sugar and the other iced, lounging in their room, the younger brunette using his boyfriend as his space heater, freezing fingers pressed against his chest.

Then, it’s a walk with Roxy in the park, stopping to play a few chess games—Spencer, predictably, wins all of them, even after going easy on Luke—and the older agent playing catch with his canine while his partner challenged some more advanced players.

And by the Smithsonian, Spencer knows his boyfriend is planning something as he leads Luke through the different exhibits, listening to his partner with lovesickness plain as day across his face, but the genius doesn’t call him out; he’s learned to love Luke’s surprises, even when he sees them coming.

He figures it out while they’re walking through Bishop’s Garden, his heart hammering in his chest as he follows Luke down a secluded path to a stone gazebo, pausing to press a kiss against his partner’s forehead.

“Spence.”

“Luke.”  He smiles, his face flushing red as he leans in for another kiss before his boyfriend steps back, lingering for a second, silently asking for permission.

Spencer nods.

“Yeah?”

I’m all in.

“Yeah.”

And Luke kneels.

Five

Spencer’s ring is silver with delicate details engraved in the material, declaring Luke’s love in three languages inscribed along the inside, and it’s painfully perfect.

“Spence? Are you in there?”

Luke’s is gold, like the sun, shining against his skin, and so simple.

“Cariño? Can I come in?”

It’s a perfect metaphor for their relationship because Luke—the one who picked the silver ring, planned, and proposed—is perfect, and Spencer, genius and all, in comparison, is plain.

Because what good is brilliance if he can’t use it? 

What are the benefits of a genius brain if it spends half its time self-destructing, sending Spencer spiraling on what should be one of the best days of his life, instead, holed up in the bathroom, unable to hear anything over the deafening roar of his racing heart?

“Spencer, I’m coming in. Okay? It’s just me.”

The door opens slowly, Luke slipping through the slight crack and shutting it again, pausing when he finds his partner on the floor in the opposite corner, hands running through his hair, desperate to tug on the roots until everything finally fucking stops.

“Spencer,” The older brunette sits across from him slowly, signing as he speaks, unfocused eyes finding his hands. “What’s wrong? How can I help?”

He shakes his head, fingers making fists, not pulling—yet.

“Come on, cariño–”

Spencer grabs his hand mid-sign with possessed aggression, nails nearly biting his skin as he passes something into Luke’s palm before pulling away as if the contact burns, curling further into the corner with silent cries.

Luke stays still, staring at the silver band in his palm, feeling its warm weight on his hand, hearing how it sounds against his own.

“Okay, Spence,” He speaks softly, still holding the ring protectively as he settles against the opposite wall. “We’ll talk—or sign or write, whatever you need—about this when you’re ready; take a few minutes to let your thoughts settle. Okay? I’ll be here the whole time.”

Spencer doesn’t respond; Luke wasn’t expecting one, letting them lapse into silence, save for the soft sound of the younger brunette rubbing his knuckles together and the occasional hum while he rocks back and forth.

“I’m sorry.”

Spencer’s voice is ragged and forced, exhaustion evident as he speaks.

“It’s okay, Spence,” Luke doesn’t hesitate, still signing his words as he pulls away from the wall to face his partner. “Don’t force yourself.”

Tears well up in the corners of the younger brunette’s eyes, threatening to overflow as he buries his face in his hands, shaking his head.

“Spence–”

“It’s stupid!” He shouts suddenly, sobbing while he grips his hair. “This is so stupid! I– It’s– I can’t–”

“Frustrating,” Luke offers softly, finding the words his partner can’t. “It’s frustrating, Spence, not stupid. You are not stupid.”

“It is! I am! Because I’m a grown man and can’t just be normal. I want to be normal.”

“Normal isn’t real, cariño; it’s made up, just like gender roles and taxes–” That earns him a soft chuckle. “I get that it can be frustrating sometimes, being so smart, but your brain just won’t listen, but you aren’t alone. Okay? Everyone is always here to help, just like you’re always ready to help them, and we–”

Luke takes his hand, kissing his knuckles before slipping the sliver ring back onto his finger.

“We are in this together now, cariño—for better or worse—which means that I will always be here to remind you that being normal is boring, and you can remind me of everything else. ‘Kay?” Spencer nods, smiling as Luke helps him stand, wiping a tear from his cheek. “For better or worse, Spence; it’s us against the world.”

built to fall (3)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after having a rough month, the feelings that you had been harbouring for your co-worker finally come to the surface

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (later on), mutual pining, discussions of mental health, reader gets drunk, vomiting, suggestive themes, sexual tension, cases that the bau work are also mentioned so the usual warnings for the show apply

warnings for this part; slight miscommunication trope, tooth-rotting fluff, luke is a consent king, kisses <3

notes; luke is my consent king, love that man till the ends of the earth, also, just realised i didn't say but none of this fic has been beta-read, just proof-read (once) by me so i'm sorry if it's a complete fucking mess

tags; @smurfenijsje12 @xoxomoonlightbabe

ao3 / masterlist

previous chapter

Back-to-back cases swept up the next few weeks of your life and you and Luke hadn’t really had time to talk about what had happened. You were avoiding it and you were frankly embarrassed. You didn’t want to think about it and so if he ever tried to bring it up, you’d just change the topic. It was easier that way and you frankly didn’t think he needed to explain himself.

The two of you worked amicably. You tried your best to act like nothing had happened but that was a little harder than you had initially expected. Luke kept trying to get you to talk about it but you had been purposefully avoiding it. You were on cases and you didn’t want to possibly impair your judgment by becoming too emotional about Luke.

But the case you had been assigned to currently hit a little too close to home. So, frankly, you were already emotional. A little girl had lost her parents due to the unsub and you were finding it hard to keep it together. You were still a little fragile over your own parents and everyone could tell that you were off. Emily had tried to talk to you but you had reassured her that you were fine.

Luke could tell that something was wrong but whenever he tried to approach you, you shut him down before he could ask if you were okay. It was obvious to everyone that something had happened between you and Luke and it was beginning to affect the both of you. None of them really knew what was going on and Matt had tried to ask Luke but he brushed it off, acting as if it didn’t matter but it clearly did.

However, the longer this case went on the worse you were beginning to feel and the more you avoided Luke. You barely even looked in Luke’s direction anymore. The thought of making eye contact with him terrified you because you knew that if he spoke to you, you would break down into his arms. But you couldn’t do that to him, not again. 

The text that you hadn’t replied to weeks ago had reassured you that he didn’t mind looking after you that night but it didn’t mean you wanted him to see it again. Especially not after you had continued to spill your guts over the phone. Now that some time had passed since the conversation over the phone, you knew that he probably wasn’t rejecting you.

But you didn’t know how to approach him anymore. So, you just avoided him. But as the third evening of the case rolled around, Emily decided that enough was enough and grabbed you to take you to one side. You hadn’t expected to be ambushed and when she asked you what was wrong, you floundered.

“Did something happen with Alvez? If something bad happened, you need to tell me and I will sort it out,” She said sternly. You stared at the floor, caught off-guard and completely floundering. Emily could see the way that you were fighting internally with yourself. She let out a sigh before she stepped towards you, “I need to know if something happened.”

“Nothing bad happened,” You said after a moment.

“You don’t have to lie. Nobody has to know,” She said softly. You shook your head, lifting your head up to look at Emily. You weren’t sure exactly what she thought had gone on but you couldn’t let her think badly of Luke. This was all on you. You were emotional, you were avoiding him. It was all your fault.

“I mean it. I just, you remember when Luke took me home?” You asked, Emily nodded, “Well, I was really drunk and I spilt my guts out and sobbed. It was ugly and I made some comments that were far from professional. I just can’t get him off my mind and then I spoke to him on the phone and… and I told him that I’ve been thinking about him a lot. And I just don’t know how to talk to him now because… I like him, a lot more than I should and I don’t know what to do about it and I can’t just pretend and talk to him like normal. And I’m fucking 30 and acting like a teenager. Like, this is ridiculous.” Emily nodded along to your words, listening to you and the tension in her shoulders seemed to drop.

“Okay,” Emily began but she seemed to pause, not entirely sure where to go. She was your friend but she was also your Unit Chief and she couldn’t have conflict in the unit. It would cause too many issues and so, she glanced over at Luke, “Let me speak to him. Why don’t you go back to the hotel? Get some sleep. You need it and it’s getting late.” You nodded. Part of you wanted to stay and work but you couldn’t. Emily wouldn’t let you and with the emotional toll the case was taking on you, you could barely think straight and so, you wiped your cheeks and nodded.

“Thanks, Em,” You mumbled. She nodded and grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly.

“Get some rest.” The two of you then separated and you slipped away out the back door of the police station. It was a short drive to the hotel and you managed to hitch a ride with one of the officers that was heading out that way. You thanked them and once you were back in your hotel room, you curled up on the bed.

Then the tears started and you couldn’t stop them. You were sobbing violently as you wrapped your arms around a pillow. The past few cases had been hard and you were so tired. Everything was just getting pent up and you couldn’t escape the thoughts of Luke. It was driving you mad and you just wanted everything to go back to how it was before you had spilt your guts out to him.

The tears and snot didn’t seem to let up and you had to trudge to the bathroom after a while to try and clean your face up. But when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you cried harder. Your eyes were red, tears blurring your vision. It was too much. This case was too much and you just wanted Luke to hug you but you were terrified of that. What if it went too far? What if it just made it all worse and you couldn’t get over him like you knew that you had to.

After a moment, you heard a knock on your hotel door. You assumed it was Emily so didn’t even think before you opened the door. Instead, you were faced with Luke. There was a frown on his face when he took in your disheveled appearance and seeing him just made you cry harder. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Woah, woah, hey,” He said softly, stepping into your room. He closed the door behind him as you looked down at the floor, “Emily said that something was wrong. What is it?” He asked softly as he stepped towards you. Your shoulders shook and tears continued to drip down your face. You didn’t know how to tell him what was going on. It was too hard, “Talk to me, what’s going on?” He asked as he closed the space between the two of you. You wiped the snot from your nose as you stared down at the carpet. Luke’s face was pinched together as he watched you. Part of him wondered if this was his fault but he didn’t want to assume.

“You shouldn’t be here,” You choked out, trying desperately to control your sobs but every time you remembered he was there, it just got worse. He shook his head.

“No, I’m not leaving. You’re upset, I’m not walking away,” He insisted. That just made it harder and you had to hold yourself as you cried harder. You weren’t even sure how you still had tears left to cry but you did, “Talk to me, please, carina,” He begged as his hands moved to rest on your shoulders. You shook your head.

“I don’t know how to talk to you, that’s the problem,” You practically wailed as you covered your face with your hands. His face fell and he pulled you into a hug, “I keep getting drunk and saying stupid things and you make me feel so safe but I can’t just keep crying to you. You’re my friend but I just- it’s not fair on you.” You continued to blubber as you tried to control your breathing. Luke sighed. He knew what this was about now and so, he cupped the back of your head, pulling you against him. His other arm wrapped around you.

“I told you that it’s okay. I care about you, okay?” He said soothingly. That made you want to roll your eyes but it honestly just made you cry harder.

“I can’t keep saying those things to you. You, you clearly feel differently,” You stammered out, tears still streaming down your face as you squeezed your eyes shut. He let out a heavy sigh at your words, putting together what else was bothering you.

“Carina, you were drunk,” He stated, “I didn’t know how much you meant it and I didn’t want to assume. I have more respect for you than to take advantage of you like that” He explained. Your breathing had evened out a little now as he held you against him. He sighed against your hair before he grabbed your face, cupping your cheeks between his hands, “Look at me,” He insisted. You did, although it was very reluctantly.

“I was sober enough to know what I was saying,” You mumbled to him. He nodded and forced your face to tilt up so he could look into your eyes properly.

“But you weren’t sober,” He reminded you, “I can’t ever stop thinking about you and I wasn’t going to take advantage of you in a moment like that. Not over the phone, not in person, not ever. Do you understand me?” You forced yourself to meet his unrelenting gaze before swallowing and nodding. He nudged your cheek with his thumb, “Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” You muttered. He nodded and then he moved one hand behind your head, pulling you into a hug again, “I’m not drunk now,” You added after a moment. Luke chuckled as you snaked your arms around his waist, snuggling into his warmth.

“No, you’re not, but you’re clearly upset and if I’m gonna do this, I’ll do it properly,” He said. You let out a heavy sigh and he chuckled softly at your dramatic reaction, “But, I feel the same way. I can’t… stop thinking about you. Do you know how distracting that is?” The soft chuckle that accompanied your words made your shoulders relax against him, “Couldn’t look at you without thinking about how gorgeous you are.” You began to grin. It was ridiculous how much you adored this man and he was telling you everything you needed to hear.

“Can you stay with me, then?” You muttered. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, telling you ‘okay’ softly before his hands trailed down from your back to your thighs. He gently lifted you up and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his hips. The new position meant you could bury your face in his neck as he carried you both over to the bed.

All he wanted was to make sure you got some sleep and you knew that you were cared for. He hated to admit it but he had fallen for you completely.

-

By the time the case was over, it was getting late but you all wanted to get home. So as midnight drew in, you had boarded the jet. And by the time you landed back at home, it was nearing 3am. You were honestly exhausted. Though, you and Luke had spent most of the flight home talking while everyone else slept so you really only had yourself to blame. 

You hadn’t intended to spend the whole flight talking with him but the case was done and the air was cleared. So, you wanted to speak to him. You wanted to stay close to him. He had already been sleeping in your bed at the hotel as the case dragged on. And as you flew back, the thought that you would be sleeping alone lingered in the back of your mind.

So, you did your best to just enjoy his presence. 

Once the team returned back to the office, Emily told everyone to go home and just finish the reports on Monday. That was a relief to everyone’s ears and with a few tired goodbyes, everyone began to filter out until it was just Emily, you and Luke. Emily was in her office and you could see her through the blinds. She was always staying late at the moment and you could see her writing up something at her desk. It made you frown but you didn’t have a chance to think about it too much before Luke had spoken.

“You heading home?” He asked as he walked over to you. You nodded, rubbing your eyes to try and keep the sleepiness at bay, “Need me to drive you?” You thought for a moment before you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine,” You said softly. He nodded and adjusted his to-go bag over his shoulder.  Luke’s presence made it so much easier to sleep and part of you wanted to ask him to come and stay over but you didn’t know how to. You hadn’t even kissed yet. You didn’t know what to do and it seemed he felt the same way.

The silence dragged out between the two of you before you said, “I just hope I can sleep.” Luke’s face contorted and you looked at him, cocking your head to the side.

“Why don’t you stay over with me? Then you can meet Roxy in the morning ‘cause I gotta pick her up from the dog-sitter,” He suggested. You didn’t even need to consider it. The thought of being able to stay with Luke for another day made you feel better. It was so much easier to fall asleep when you were next to him. Also, it meant that you might be able to work out what you were without the pressure of the case - or the team.

“Yeah, okay,” You said softly. Luke began to smile and he glanced over at Emily. She had been watching the two of you but when Luke looked up, she was quick to avert her gaze. You grabbed your to-go bag from your desk and pulled it over your shoulder, “Do you think she noticed?” You asked as you glanced back at Emily.

“Probably,” Luke shrugged. You rolled your eyes and then he took a hold of your hand, pulling you towards the elevator. His hand was so warm and you honestly felt like you could have fallen asleep against him in the elevator.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you debated what to do about the cars before you agreed that you would drop your car - and to-go bag - off at your apartment. Then you could grab a change of clothes and then Luke would drive the both of you the rest of the way to his house. 

By the time that you had arrived at Luke’s house, 3am had ticked into 4am and you were both exhausted. In your sleep-deprived state, you didn’t really give Luke’s house much of a look. You were more interested in getting in bed and curling up against his side. 

Neither of you really thought about much as he dragged you to the ensuite so that you could both brush your teeth. You then changed into pajamas which consisted of stripping and putting on pajama pants on and a comfy bra. Luke found it hard not to stare at you, admiring you as you trudged back into the bedroom.

His bed looked incredibly comfy. And he also looked incredibly domestic. He had stripped his shirt off and jeans off, leaving him in just his boxers as he got under the covers. You found yourself admiring his ass as he shuffled under the covers and when he noticed, he sent you a look, cocking his eyebrow.

“You have a nice ass,” You shrugged before he grabbed your hips and dragged you into bed with him. A giggly shriek escaped your lips as he pulled you against him. With a little bit of shuffling, you were curled up on his chest.

The warmth that radiated off his skin made you sleepy which made it easy to fall asleep. So, within a few minutes, you were dragged into the blissfulness of it. It took a little longer but with you against him, Luke also managed to fall asleep.

-

The blare of an alarm woke both you and Luke up and you let out a soft groan, leaning over and trying to switch your alarm off. Before you realized that it wasn’t yours. It was Luke’s. He muttered an apology as he switched it off before dropping back into bed. 

Your eyes blinked open for a moment, taking him in in the morning light. He looked so pretty and you couldn’t help the lazy smile that spread across your face before your eyes closed again. Part of you couldn’t believe that you were sleeping in his bed, in his house. It was ridiculous especially considering that you hadn’t even kissed yet.

“If I didn’t have morning breath, I’d kiss you,” You mumbled under your breath as you shuffled back towards the man beside you. You heard Luke let out a sleepy laugh before he rolled towards you. The two of you had slipped away from each other in your sleep and he frankly, was not happy with that. So, he grabbed you and tugged you into him. Your head slotted underneath his chin while his arm wrapped around your back.

“Mhm, that’s better,” He hummed out. You couldn’t help but chuckle against his chest. Your breath fanned across his skin and he nuzzled his head into your hair. Then you pressed a soft kiss to the column of his neck where you were cuddled up. 

Despite your best intentions, you were slipping back into sleep again. The feeling of Luke’s fingers running patterns across your back lulled you back into it and it wasn’t until an hour or two later that you woke up again.

But rather than being cuddled up to Luke, he was sitting up in bed, reading a book. You rolled over to take a look at him, still sleepy but more awake than you had been when his alarm had rudely awakened the both of you.

“Morning,” You mumbled softly. The two of you had fallen into an easy routine the last few days of the case. The feelings that bubbled to the surface were there but neither of you had actually done anything about them. But you were going to change that this morning. You were determined to finally get that kiss you had been craving.

“Hi,” He said softly, putting his bookmark in so he could put all his focus on you, “How you feeling?” He asked. You snuggled up to the pillow, a sleepy smile spreading across your face. It was hard to hide it which made him chuckle.

“It was a pretty good sleep,” You muttered. He moved to lie down, turning over onto his side to face you. He reached out to cup your jaw and you melted into him. It was nice. The routine that the two of you had fallen into was easy. It was like you were meant to be together and it soothed something in your soul that you didn’t know needed healing.

“Want some breakfast before I pick up Roxy?” He asked. You nodded against his hand, forcing your eyes back open to look up at him. He grinned and slid out from under the covers.

“It better be good. I’ve heard some… things about your cooking,” You added, teasing him with a sleepy grin. Luke looked back at you, tutting before he headed into the bathroom. You whined softly at the loss of him before deciding you needed to get up too. Realistically, you wanted to stay in Luke’s bed. His mattress was so soft and you felt like you were lying on a cloud. But you wanted to be around him as much as you could.

So, the two of you brushed your teeth together before you headed downstairs. This time you took the time to look through his house. His living room looked so comfortable. The couch looked like something you could sink into and never want to get out of. He had a big TV and a collection of different video games. They looked mainly like RPGs and there was a VR headset abandoned on the coffee table. 

You schmoozed a little longer, clocking the blanket on the back of the sofa that looked very soft and comfortable before you turned around and wandered into the kitchen where he was already cooking up a storm.

You could get used to this. He looked so domestic. He had put some pajama pants on before he left the bedroom but you still had a beautiful look at his bare chest and built shoulders. He was built like a Greek God and you loved it. 

As he was cooking on the stove, you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He smiled, glancing back at you before he returned back to the pan. You stayed there for a moment before Luke needed to move. 

So, you reluctantly stepped back and walked over to the fridge. He had mentioned something about loving OJ with his breakfast and when you spotted it in the fridge, you scooped it up before searching the cupboards for his glasses. Luke watched in mild amusement as he continued to cook, not bothering to end your suffering as you searched.

It took a moment before you found two glasses and then you poured a healthy dose of OJ out before you put it back in the fridge. You grabbed your glass and took a sip. It tasted so good and the sugar gave your system a kick that you didn’t even realize that it needed.

Once you were satisfied, you moved to sit up on the counter. Luke placed the lid over the frying pan before he turned around to you. The two glasses of OJ were placed beside you and so he picked up his as an excuse to get close to you.

He slotted himself between your thighs, taking the untouched glass of juice. He took a drink before placing it down. You met his gaze and couldn’t help but smile. Between his body between your legs, the warmth of him so close and the domesticity of all of this, you were giddy. You had missed this kind of comfort.

“Thanks for letting me stay over,” You said softly. He shrugged and let his hands slide up your thighs  to rest against your waist. He took you in, adoring every feature on your face. The way your eyes shone in the morning light and the relaxed way you smiled up at him.

“I couldn’t say no to this face,” He admitted as one of his hands moved to gently run his fingers across your jaw. You chuckled, shaking your head at his comment. The eye contact was a little too intense so you grabbed your glass and took another sip of the juice, avoiding it for a moment. When you placed the glass down, Luke was still there and admiring you.

“What?” You giggled, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his gaze. He shrugged and let his hand rest against your jaw.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. You were a little dumbfounded by the question. In reality, it was obvious that’s what he wanted. He was so close to you, breath fanning across your cheeks and his hands caressing any part of your skin he could reach. You should have expected it and yet you still stammered over your words.

“Please,” You managed to get out. He chuckled and moved his other hand to rest against your cheek. He was cupping your face and he pulled you forward on the counter so you were pressed against him. Your eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips against yours. The first kiss was soft. There was a gentleness to the way he connected your lips and it made you weak at the knees.

Nobody you had ever dated had ever kissed you like this. It felt like you were floating and then he pulled back. His forehead rested against yours as you breathed in each other. Your brain took a moment to catch up before you moved your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.

It was passionate this time. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him as closely as physicall possible against you as you moved your mouth against his. Your fingers moved to run through his hair, combing through his curls as you gently ran your tongue across his bottom lip. He didn’t waste a second letting your tongue in and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. The taste of OJ lingered on both of your lips as you desperately clung to each other.

His head tilted to the side, hands gripping your hips and tugging you closer. There was a longing in the way he kissed you and it made you completely breathless, heart pumping against your ribcage. You could have kissed him forever as your lips met over and over again, barely giving either of you time to breathe.

Your fingers tugged at the roots of his hair and he let out a groan against your mouth. His hands then trailed under the back of your shirt, fingertips running across your spine. You arched into him and he pulled back, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. The whimper that left your lips was completely involuntarily and it made him smirk as he pressed wet kisses across your jaw and down your neck. Your fingers stayed buried in his hair, gripping onto the roots as he searched for the spot on your neck that would make you keen.

“Luke,” You whimpered softly as his teeth nipped at your skin. He grinned against you, happy to have found the spot he was looking for. He then began sucking the skin into his mouth, “Fuck,” Your hands tugged at his hair as you bit your lip. It felt so good. Luke felt so good and you were pretty sure that you would do anything he asked in that moment. The quiet groan he let out as you pulled on his hair just made it all that much more erotic.

But, even though you loved the feeling of his lips against you neck, you wanted his lips on yours again so you were quick to tug his hair, pulling him away from your neck before you connected your lips again. The kiss didn’t last long though. Both of you were completely breathless, panting as he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were closed as you breathed each other in.

A giggle fell from your lips as you finally let your eyes reopen, “Jesus,” You mumbled. Luke’s eyes opened and he looked into your eyes.

“What’s so funny?” He teased. You pecked his lips again before you pulled back a little more.

“Nothing, just, fuck,” You responded. He couldn’t help but grin as he moved his hand to cup your cheek. His thumb ran circles across your cheekbone before he leant up and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Fuck, you could get used to that.

“Ready for breakfast?” He asked softly. You nodded, biting your lip to try and stop the smile from completely taking over your face. You were so fucking smitten for him and you loved it but also couldn’t believe it.

<3

next chapter

built to fall (4)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after having a rough month, the feelings that you had been harbouring for your co-worker finally come to the surface

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (later on), mutual pining, discussions of mental health, reader gets drunk, vomiting, suggestive themes, sexual tension, cases that the bau work are also mentioned so the usual warnings for the show apply

warnings for this part; MDNI (minors do not interact) sexual content, tooth-rotting fluff, domestic fluff, smut, oral (m receiving), reader sucks luke off while he's on the phone (idk what kink that is), slight praise kink, soft!dom reader but also not totally sub!luke

notes; right, this is my like second time ever writing a bj so uhm, i'm sorry if it's absolutely atrocious, this is also the last part i have fully written that i'm mostly happy with so this is the last of the updates for today (excuse the spam) but yes! i hope you enjoy the whore-ish fantasies, and there are more to come ;)

tags; @smurfenijsje12 @xoxomoonlightbabe

ao3 / masterlist

previous chapter

The drive to the dog sitter’s had been short but you were grinning the entire time. Being in the car with Luke, basking in his presence made you so smitten. Part of you knew that it was ridiculous to have fallen this hard but you wanted nothing more than to be with him.

Luke had offered that you headed into the house with him to pick Roxy up but you said that you would be fine to wait in the car. You didn’t want to stress Roxy out if she didn’t know who you were. Roxy was well-trained and Luke had tried to tell you that but you wanted to let her approach you if she wanted to.

And she did. The second that Luke had gotten out of the house, thanking the dog sitter profusely, Roxy began to tug on her leash to get to you.

“Oh hello, hello, gorgeous,” You fawned over Roxy as she bounded up to you. The dog frantically sniffed at your legs and hand when you offered it before she looked back at Luke. Then she went back to you and you knelt down to stroke her. Roxy loved the attention and she couldn’t help but nudge into your hands. It seemed that she liked you. Luke was glad.

You scritched around her ears and her tail wouldn’t stop wagging as you mumbled praises to her. Luke watched with an adoring smile, letting you give her all the attention Roxy wanted rather than splitting the two of you up.

“You happy that your dad is home, huh? I would be very happy, now he can give you all the attention that you need, yeah?” You continued to fawn. But then Roxy suddenly turned away from you and looked up at Luke. He chuckled and leant down, stroking Roxy.

“You’re happy to see me, aren’t you?” He said, his voice softened as he gave her all the attention that she had been deprived of while he was away. He then leant forward and pressed a kiss to her head before he stood up, “She’s gonna go in the back so just get in the front,” Luke explained and you nodded. You opened the passenger side and slid into the seat while Luke opened the car door. He coaxed Roxy in and she perched down on the backseat. Then he unclipped the leash and placed it in the footwell before he closed the door.

He then returned to the driver’s seat and glanced back at Roxy. She had settled nicely into the backseat but he noticed how you had moved your hand so that she could nuzzled her nose into it. It was a sweet gesture and Roxy seemed to appreciate the little bit of attention that she got even though she was being relegated to the backseat.

“She’s so cute,” You mumbled as you looked over at Luke. He grinned and started the car up.

“Oh, trust me, I know,” He said before he started to drive back towards his house. You couldn’t help the grin that overtook your face.

-

You squealed as Roxy practically knocked you over. The two of you had been playing tug of war with one of her toys and you had lost your balance, falling onto your ass in Luke’s living room. He was in the kitchen, making drinks for the both of you which meant Roxy had you all to herself.

The dog was on top of you now, still fighting with you for the toy while you giggled and tried to get up but you knew this was her way of asserting her win. You let out a defeated sigh and let go of the toy.

“I give in. You win,” You said to the dog. Roxy seemed happy with that and she clambered off you to go and chew on the toy happily in the corner. But you stayed lying on the floor, giggling to yourself as your arm rested over your eyes. After you had picked Roxy up, the three of you had gone on a walk around the neighbourhood before returning home for some lunch.

Roxy had been given some food and the two of you made rice bowls. The entire day had been so domestic and you felt like you were dreaming. Part of you thought that this would be all some cruel prank but when Luke returned with your glass of water and his coffee, you hoped that this wasn’t all a dream.

“Why are you on the floor?” Luke asked as he walked around the sofa to put the drinks on the coffee table.

“Roxy defeated me,” You said, moving your arm away from your eyes so you could look up at him. He chuckled softly at your words before glancing at the dog. Roxy was happily chewing on her toy in her dog bed. She looked very peaceful and not like the menace that he knew that she really was. He then glanced back at you.

“I think you gave up too easily,” He stated. You scoffed, placing your hand dramatically over your heart.

“I did not! She’s a very good fighter, thank you,” You stated as you pulled yourself to sit up. He nodded, clearly exaggerating the gesture as a way to mock you. You narrowed your eyes and then got to your feet, “If you’re gonna be mean, I’ll leave,” You teased. Luke crossed his arms over his chest, stepping up to the challenge.

“Yeah?” He asked. You nodded. He then grabbed your hips and pulled you into his chest, “You’re all talk, carina,” He said as you looked up at him. You moved your lips to be inches from him.

“Maybe I am but it’s worth it,” You responded. He chuckled and then connected your lips in a soft kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, tugging him down so you could kiss him a little better. But before either of you could escalate it too far, he pulled away.

You pouted but then he asked if you wanted to cuddle and watch shows and you couldn’t deny that that sounded amazing right now. You were honestly still a little tired from the previous night so when he lay down against the couch and gestured for you to drape yourself on top of him, you didn’t waste a second.

In the end, Luke decided that he wanted to show you one of his favourite shows and you enjoyed it for the first few episodes but you were slowly beginning to fall asleep. It wasn’t because of the show but simply because you were exhausted. Luke could see that and he found himself stroking your hair as you began to slip into sleep.

It would only make you more likely to sleep but you needed it more than most people he knew. He wanted that comfort for you.

When you woke again, it was a few hours later. Luke had switched and put on a new movie and was dozing off against the sofa. Roxy had taken her place beside the two of you and she seemed sleepy too. You pressed a soft kiss against Luke’s clothed chest before you snuggled back into him. He let out a mumble of your name and you let the smile spread across your face.

“Hi,” You mumbled as you moved your fingers to trace circles on his chest, “Sorry I fell asleep,” You muttered. Luke mumbled incoherently but you could gather from his tone that he didn’t seem to mind that you had fallen asleep, “I should probably head to my apartment,” You said after a moment. The evening had already begun to draw in and as much as you didn’t want to go back to your own apartment, you were worried about overstaying your welcome.

“Why?” He asked. His words were quiet and as he opened his eyes to look down at you. You tilted your head to the side.

“This is your place,” You responded. He let out a sleepy scoff before he shook his head, tugging you closer to him even though that wasn’t physically possible.

“Our place now, stay another night,” He mumbled. The words were a little clearer than his previous had been and they caught you completely off guard. It slightly terrified you that he had accepted you as part of his life so quickly but you tried not to think about it.

“Are you sure?” You asked softly. He nodded, looking at you properly. He then gently tugged you up his chest, pressing a peck to your lips.

“Stay the night,” He insisted. You didn’t bother to argue with that so simply nodded your head. You definitely weren’t going to deny him. 

“Okay,” You muttered. Your eyes fell closed against and you settled back against his chest. It was soothing.

-

Sunday passed much like Saturday had. The two of you woke up, kissed while Luke was cooking breakfast, took Roxy on a walk, played with her before eventually settling down to watch movies or read a book or play video games. It was a soothing routine and it meant that the two of you felt refreshed for the next week of work.

But spending so much time with him, admiring her, showering together, walking around in his shirt, it meant that the more salacious thoughts began to creep back in. You couldn’t deny that you had been thinking about him like that for weeks but you tried not to push it now that you were getting closer. You didn’t want to push Luke into anything that he didn’t want and you also didn’t want to scare him away.

However, as the two of you ate dinner, the conversation became increasingly more suggestive. You weren’t sure entirely what had happened but you had tried your best to ignore the wetness that began to pool between your legs as you spoke. 

And you had done a pretty good job at ignoring it as you cleaned up and put your plates in the dishwasher but as you sat on the sofa with him, it quickly became harder to ignore. His arm was wrapped around you, fingers slipping under your shirt to caress the skin of your hip. Everything he did was maddening.

The longer the two of you sat there, the more you squirmed. Your thighs pressed together in hopes of relief that never came. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the feeling growing between your legs. It was overpowering and you decided that you need to take a break to hopefully calm yourself down. 

So, you mumbled to Luke that you were going to the bathroom and you walked over to it. Once the door was pulled closed, you turned to stare at yourself in the mirror, willing yourself to hold it together but it was hard. It was hard when he was right there and you could still remember the sound of his moan when you tugged on his hair yesterday. 

You desperately wanted to hear it again. You needed to. That desperate little whimper had been playing on your mind and you needed to get your mouth on him, make him feel good. Every part of you was on fire for him and you didn’t have a clue what to do about it.

But in your best attempt to calm yourself down, you splashed water onto your face and took a deep breath. You used the towel to wipe the water away before you looked at yourself in the mirror again. You could do this. If you just made it through this night, you could go home after work tomorrow and satisfy that aching feeling between your legs. It would be fine.

With one more deep breath, you exited the bathroom but something had changed. As you walked into the living room, you noticed that Roxy had vanished. Luke was still lounging back but his legs had spread a little wider. You could so easily slot yourself between them and do what you had been desperate to do for weeks but you stopped yourself.

No. He was just relaxing. You couldn’t take it like that.

You walked back over to the couch and dropped down beside him, letting your head rest against his shoulder. 

“Everything alright?” He asked. You nodded your head and then you felt his hand slide onto your inner thigh, squeezing it softly, “Good,” He muttered. It was hard to ignore that warm presence and it was making you ache even more. He had to know what he was doing but his eyes were fixed on the TV. He was driving you mad and he must have known it.

Rather than focusing on the feeling of his hand on your leg, you tried to focus on the show that Luke had put on. But then his hand shifted and you really couldn’t ignore it this time. He was inches away from your clothed cunt and it was driving you mad. He was driving you insane. If he just shifted his hand a little further, he would feel the wet spot that he had caused you.

But you didn’t want him to touch you just yet. You wanted him moaning for you. 

“Luke,” You mumbled softly. He let out a hum of acknowledgement but was acting like his hand wasn’t almost exactly where you needed him, “Did you send Roxy upstairs?” You asked after a beat.

“Yeah,” He responded. The roughness to his voice had you internally begging for him. Your eyebrows furrowed and you stared down at where his hand rested and it slowly started to click. This was all on purpose. Of course, it was. He was Luke. 

He must have noticed how you were squirming. Was that his goal all along? There’s no way he could have known but you weren’t gonna let him take control of the situation that easily. You had been wanting to get his cock in your mouth for weeks and you knew that if you didn’t make the first move, you weren’t gonna get that wish.

So, you placed your hand over his and gently lifted it away. His eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head to look down at you but when he saw the devious look in your eyes, he knew that he was in for it. You placed his hand against his own thigh before slipping off the couch and onto the floor. You slotted between his legs, looking up at him/

“What are you doing, carina?” He asked. You moved your hands to rest against his thighs, fiddling with the fabric of his jeans.

“I’m finally giving you what I told you you’d get,” You smirked before you let your hands trail up to the zip of his jeans, “If that’s what you want?” You asked, looking up at him through your lashes. He nodded. You grinned and then focused on his jeans, unbuttoning them before pulling the zipper down. You then gently tugged on them and he helped you push them down his legs.

His thighs were built. Thick muscles running beneath the skin and you let your fingers trail across them. Luke let out a breathy noise as you admired him, fingers running up to his crotch. You palmed at his erection and he let out a choked whimper.

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” You asked. He let out another groan as you palmed him through his boxers again. If you kept it up, he wasn’t sure you were going to get to do what you clearly so desperately wanted, “Lift up,” You said as you tugged on his boxers. He lifted his hips up and you pulled the boxers off, taking him in.

He was already half-hard, cock rested against his stomach. He was bigger than you had expected and as you moved your hand to gently take a hold of him, you noticed that the tip was already red and weeping for you. A smirk spread across your face and you spat into the palm of your hand before you wrapped your hand around him and moved it up and down.

He was quickly fully hard against you and you moved your cheek to rest against his thigh. He was so sensitive and as you moved your hand up and down slowly, he was already groaning. His eyes were locked onto the way your hand moved up and down, your thumb running over his tip before you returned back to your slow, lazy movements.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” You asked as you leant forward to gently lick the tip of him. He groaned at the sensation, eyes briefly squeezing shut before he looked down at you. You lifted your gaze to meet his, “I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks,” You admitted before you refocused back on his cock. 

Starting from the bottom, you slowly licked up the side before you licked up the beads of pre-cum that were dripping from him. His eyes had fallen closed again as you got your first real taste of him. His cum was salty and tangy but it didn’t bother you as much as it used to. You dipped your head back down again and let the tip of him slip between your plush lips.

The loud groan that escaped his lips had you getting wetter by the second. The noises he was making were driving you crazy and you had only just begun. You wanted to hear every little noise he made, you wanted him to be at your mercy. 

You pulled back again after a moment, teasing him a little with kitten licks before you pressed a few kisses to the tip of his dick. He was groaning, head thrown back as his fingers dug into the couch cushions, desperate to keep himself under control. Part of him wanted to grab your hair and fuck your face but he wanted you to control this. At least, for now.

“You’re so pretty,” You commented as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock. You lifted your head up from his thigh and used your grip on him to direct him to your mouth. Then you used your tongue to lick the underside of him, feeling every vein as he practically whimpered at the movement. You smirked, watching his face as you repeated the motion. You were teasing him at this point. It was cruel but you wanted to savor him, “Baby,” You whispered softly and his eyes reopened. His cock was rested against your chin as you moved your hand to grab his. You then gently moved it into your hair, “I don’t mind if it hurts,” You reassured him before you took him into your mouth again. It wasn’t just the tip this time. Instead, you worked on getting every inch of him into you, taking him to the hilt before you hollowed out your cheeks, lifting your head up. 

The movement broke him. He let out a loud moan as he threw his head back against the couch, his fingers tightening in your hair. You continued to bob your head up and down, taking a slow and gentle rhythm but making sure to take every inch of him every single time. You wanted to savor this. Savor the feeling of him in your mouth and what it felt like to have him completely under your control because you doubted this was gonna happen very often. 

Your hands rested against his thighs as you continued your movements, lifting up every few seconds to pay special attention to his tip. Your tongue flicked across it, flattening out before you took all of him in again.

He moaned your name as he gripped your hair, tugging at the roots which made you groan against him. His self-restraint was hanging by a thread and when he felt your groan vibrate along his cock, it snapped. He quickly found himself bucking up into your mouth. The first time he did it, you nearly choked on him, eyes filling with tears but you started to move with him. His hand in your hair guiding you.

He was losing it, the pleasure taking over and you loved it. Curses, whimpers of your name and pleas fell from his lips as he continued to thrust up into you, taking complete control of it. He was using you however he wanted and you felt the slick soaking your panties. His thrusts became harsher, cock hitting the back of your throat as you forced yourself to breathe through your nose. His fingers were gripping your hair and you were getting wetter by the second. 

Well, that was until you heard a phone ringing. Luke groaned.

“Fuck,” He whimpered as your hand quickly rested over his. He loosened his grip, deriving himself of the release he so desperately craved so you could lift off to work out whose phone was ringing. You looked a mess, your hair was mussed, spit at the corners of your mouth, eyes teary. You looked destroyed and Luke found himself somehow more attracted to you.

But he was distracted from your beautifully messy appearance when you grabbed his ringing phone from the coffee table. When you turned it over, you saw that Garcia was calling.

“Garcia,” You explained as you handed the phone over. Both of you knew that this meant a case otherwise you would have ignored it. Luke’s eyes were blown-wide with lust. He looked so pretty for you and so wrecked after he had used you. You wanted to take him again but you refrained as he averted his gaze. Then he answered the call.

“Hey, Garcia. What’s up?” He asked. You heard her beginning to talk on the other end and you rested your head back against his thigh. You bit your lip, taking in the sight of his swollen tip. He looked so delectable and you knew that he had been deprived of his release. Maybe, you could still help him get that. 

A devious smirk spread across your face as you shifted your hand to move up to his dick. You swept your thumb over the slit and Luke had to bit his tongue to stop a groan from escaping. He glanced down at you but you didn’t pay him much attention.

“Does Emily want all of us in?” He asked as you slowly began to take him into your mouth. His words faltered when he felt the heat of your mouth around him but he was managing to keep up appearances, somewhat. Penelope was talking again and you pushed your head down, taking him all the way to the hilt again. His head fell back against the sofa and he let out a soft groan. You heard Garcia on the other end say that she understood it was annoying but duty calls. Little did she know that he was groaning for a very different reason.

You began to bob your head again and Luke’s face contorted into one of pleasure. The soft, slow movements were completely different to the rough control he had on you a moment ago. His eyes scrunched shut as his hand fisted in your hair again. He easily could have pulled you to stop but it seemed that this turned him on as much as it did you.

“Don’t bother calling her. She’s,” Luke faltered, biting his lips to prevent a groan escaping before he continued, “She’s in the kitchen. I’ll tell her- tell her.” He was becoming breathless as he tried to keep his composure the best he could over the phone but you were making it incredibly difficult. The warmth of your tongue against him, the slow movements that dragged out every tendril of pleasure. It was like torture. 

You kept bobbing your head up and down, tongue licking at the prominent veins and every few bobs, you sucked and kissed at the tip of his dick. He could feel his edge getting closer as he began to buck up into you again.

“It’s not- not like that,” He stammered out but you had tuned Garcia out now. Instead, focused on moving with Luke’s shallow thrusts and getting him closer and closer to the edge that you knew he was teetering towards, “I’ll talk to you soon, alright.” He said abruptly. You smirked up at him, briefly meeting his gaze before speeding up again.

The moan he let out only a second after he hung up the call was obscene. His head threw back and he gripped on your hair, helping move you up and down.

“That’s it, baby,” He praised as he squeezed his eyes shut, “Fuck, I can’t believe- Fuck- can’t believe you did that.” He moaned out curses as you continued to move up and down. You could tell he was close. His thighs were quivering, his grip was tightening and you wanted to take him over the edge. So, you kept moving, running your tongue on the underside of his cock before he suddenly shoved your head down all the way to the hilt. 

Your eyes watered, nearly choking on him as he held you in place. He then thrusted up into your mouth, two, three shallow thrusts before he was spilling into you. You forced yourself to breathe through your nose, swallowing down everything he was giving you as he worked himself through the orgasm. 

But once he was done, he let go of your hair and you slowly pulled off him. You gave his tip a gentle kiss which caused him to shiver, completely overstimulated by you. You watched as his cock softened before you fell back on your knees. 

Luke’s eyes were still closed, his entire body relaxed as his hands rested at his sides. He looked completely fucking destroyed and you could get used to the sight of him like this. A smirk spread across your face as you watched him breathe. 

Then, his eyes blinked open and he looked down at you. You were grinning, clearly very pleased with yourself which just made Luke roll his eyes before he sunk further into the couch.

In his blissed out state, he didn’t even notice as you crawled into his lap and curled up against him. Your head rested against his chest, listening to the thrumming of his heart before he wrapped his arms around you. His skin was sweaty and warm but you loved knowing that you were responsible for it. He had cum down your throat. You felt victorious.

“We’ve got a case,” He muttered.

“I know,” You said before you leant forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He was still panting, trying to get his breathe back as you settled back into him, 

“ Next time, this is gonna be about you,” He said lowly. His tone made you shiver and the wetness in your panties just seemed to get worse. He rested his forehead against your shoulder, letting his fingers slip down your front and underneath your sweatpants. He slipped his fingers into your underwear and before he even reached your slit, he could tell that you were wet.

“We need to go,” You reminded him softly before he could get distracted. He nodded and slowly removed his hand from your slit.

“I’ll deal with it later.”

<3

next chapter

concussed

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

summary; after you are attacked by the latest unsub, luke does his best to take care of you while you suffer from a concussion.

warnings; hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, minor injury, vomiting, stubborn reader, reader is concussed, a bit of a enemies to lovers but not really enemies

notes; i wrote this thing last night, i wanted to write something angsty because i wasn't feeling great and so i found an angry confession prompt but then it sort of just spiralled away from the anger and we have this! i sat and did some research on concussions (and u can sleep while concussed contrary to popular belief) so this should be accurate-ish! i might do a part two but for now, here it is <3

ao3 / masterlist

The case was taking a toll on your team and you wanted to try and pretend that it was okay. But it wasn’t. You continued to hit dead-end, after dead-end. Your profile didn’t seem to be leading you to any plausible suspect and the killer was devolving into a spree. And as much as being unable to solve the case was bothering you, something else was.

Luke fucking Alvez.

Honestly, you got along with Luke amazingly, most of the time. You’d had a rocky start when he had helped the team with finding the fugitives. He preferred to work alone which infuriated you because you were used to working in a team. He was defensive, reluctant to work with you and just annoying. You couldn’t pinpoint what it was but everything he did made your jaw clench and you wanted to punch his stupidly handsomely angular jaw.

JJ noticed it almost immediately when he began to work with the team. She often did her best to keep the peace between you and that had led to Rossi dragging you into his office more than once to try and understand what was going on. Hotch did the same before he left and then Emily did but every time, you made it clear that you didn’t have any issues with him.

Because you didn’t. He just ticked you off and after him spending so much time with BAU, the irritation slowly began to seep away. But there was something about the way he was acting on this case that was irritating you again. It was tipping you over the edge and you were ready to hit him if he stepped out of line.

And it just got worse when Emily kept assigning you to do tasks together. You assumed she was trying to heal the rift that had suddenly formed between the two of you but if anything, it had just made it all worse. You were walking on eggshells around him and he was doing the same with you. There was no harmony, no talking. It was just two frustrated agents, doing a really bad job at doing their jobs.

You were beginning to think maybe that’s why you were finding it so hard to understand the case but then, Reid managed to figure something out. Which led to the team leading an assault into a warehouse where they believed the victim was being held. 

In the car, everybody had been quiet, only the necessary things were said. Garcia called and answered all of Reid’s questions about the location. The team coordinated with SWAT. And when you arrived, you got out and Prentiss ordered the team to take the different exits. Of course, you were paired up with Luke.

But you had to focus on the Unsub and getting the victim out safe. Which is why you did your best to ignore the ticking anger in your chest that was threatening to explode at any given moment. Luke took first position, opening the door and stepping in. He flicked his flashlight around, keeping his gun up before he nodded, giving you the all-clear to step in. 

The warehouse was filled to the brim with wooden crates and the entrance led to a two-way split-off. So, Luke nodded to one side, indicating you to take it. You nodded and stepped towards it. There was the distant sound of voices but there was no way of being able to locate where it was coming from. So, you headed down the crate corridor.

You were quick on your feet but thorough as you used your flashlight to check any blind spots. You were not going to get caught unawares by the UnSub.

But that is somehow exactly what happened, you had found yourself at a four-way crossroads and you were shining your flashlights down every path, checking them out, when suddenly, a pain reverberated through your skull and you dropped.

The next few seconds were a blur of bodies moving past you as you tried to reach out for your gun, hoping to get a shot at the UnSub. However, he had hit you harder than you had initially and your depth perception was off. You tried to reach for your gun but you couldn’t pick it up. You tried to drag yourself forward but all the strength had left you.

“Luke,” You called out weakly but you weren’t sure how loud you even were. Your world was tilting on its axis when you heard the sounds of gunfire and then you slipped into unconsciousness. 

When your eyes snapped back open, you had been propped up against one of the wooden crates. The warehouse must have been switched on and when you looked around, Luke was standing a few steps away talking with Matt, his back to you.

Your eyebrows furrowed and Matt noticed you were awake. He must have told Luke because suddenly his head had snapped to you and he looked pissed. You had never seen Luke actually angry but this was it and you were a little scared.

Your ears were still ringing, the world still a little hazy so you didn’t hear what Luke said but then Matt was gone. You used the crates to slowly push yourself to your feet and Luke rushed to your side, holding your shoulders to keep you stable.

“What happened?” He asked, keeping his anger carefully controlled beneath the surface. 

“Unsub got me. Didn’t see him coming,” You explained, leaning back against the wooden crate. Luke stepped back, confident that you wouldn’t immediately keel over again even though your eyes were unfocused, “It wasn’t like I did it on purpose,” You added, clearly being able to see the anger that was rippling at the surface.

“If you did, this would be a different conversation,” He snapped, not amused by your comment. You sighed, letting your eyes fall closed as you pressed the heel of your hand against your forehead. Your head was throbbing and you were finding it hard to think straight.

“I’m not that fucking stupid,” You snapped back at him, forcing your eyes open so that could look at him. He huffed out in annoyance, hand moving to rub at his jaw before he looked back at you.

“I know.” His voice had softened a little. Your hand returned to your head, feeling the emotional whiplash from this conversation, “You’re impossible. You should have been more careful.” His voice had morphed from anger to relative calm as he looked at you. You muttered something in response before pushing yourself off the edge of the wooden crate.

“I’m fine, It’s not like I’m dead. So, it’s fine,” You brushed off his concern as you attempted to take a step forward. But you were completely off-balance and the movement had your world tilting off axis. Luke was quick to grab your arms, stabilizing you against him.

“No,” He responded as he helped you get back to your feet, “You have a concussion so you’re gonna stay here until the medic gets here and clears you. Is that clear?” You let your eyes fall closed again, stepping back to lean against the crate.

“Yeah, whatever,” You muttered. Once Luke was sure you weren’t gonna move again, he let go of you. He turned on his heel, pacing up and down the corridor of crates. You hadn’t seen him so stressed before. It was like he couldn’t stay still and he kept looking back at you, face set into a frown. It wasn’t helping how you felt.

“Was I bleeding?” You asked after a moment. Luke looked up and the short nod of your head made you sigh. You honestly couldn’t feel the pain but you assumed that the blood had already matted your hair. Maybe the cut on your head was the reason that your head throbbed as hard as it did. Then you felt it, bile racing up your throat. In seconds, you had turned around, hand pressed against the wooden crate, “Luke, I’m-” but you didn’t get to finish your sentence before you threw up in the space between your feet and the crate.

It burned your throat as you coughed and sputtered, tears beginning to stream down your face as your fingers curled against the wooden crate. By the time that you had done puking up, your stomach was empty and tears were running down your face. Your whole body felt weak and Luke was keeping your ponytail from falling into the line of fire.

His hand was against your back, running soothing circles as you gagged a few more times before coughing. It seemed that your body was done but your head hurt even more now. The headache had gotten worse, the violent push of vomit up your throat had just made everything a million times worse. Luke gently took hold of your shoulders, pulling you back from the mess of vomit before he turned you around. He was careful, keeping your movements slow as he pulled a cloth from his pocket. He was gentle as he wiped the corners of your mouth for you and you looked up at him, tears blurring your vision. He placed the cloth on a nearby crate before he pulled you into his chest. 

The tears were burning your cheeks but his arms engulfing you brought some much-needed comfort.

“Sorry, that was, that was disgusting,” You said against his chest. You were sniffling, silent tears falling down your cheeks as your head began to pound even more.

“Medic’s here,” Matt said, startling both of you. His gaze flicked from the two of you to the pile of vomit on the floor and he quickly understood what was happening. The medic then approached the two of you and you cautiously stepped out of Luke’s hold. The medic walked you to a nearby crate and made you sit down.

She then asked what date it was, what year you were in, who was president and it made you realize that you were a little foggy on the details. Everything about your personal life was intact but the second you got out further than that, it all became a little muddy. You were able to tell her everything. You told her what year it was and what president was in office but it took you longer than you would have liked to admit.

Then she made you follow her finger but you were finding it hard. It made your eyes hurt and your head ache and then she shined the flashlight in your eyes. The dilation levels of your pupils didn’t change at all.

“You’ve got a concussion,” The medic stated and you nodded, “Do you live with anyone at home?” She asked. You shook your head.

“It’s just me,” You muttered. She sighed.

“Okay, if that’s the case, it might be best if I get you checked into the hospital. You’ll likely be fine but you need someone to be supervising you at all times in case your symptoms get worse,” She explained.

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself,” You tried to argue but the medic didn’t seem satisfied. She glanced at Luke and Matt who had silently watched the interaction, not sure what to make of your current state. Then she looked back at you and your head rested against the crate, eyes closed.

“Can I see your head wound?” The medic asked. Your eyes slowly reopened before you shuffled forward so she could take a look at it. You felt her push your hair around, pressing against your skull which made you seethe in pain a little. But it didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as you had expected it to, “Well, that’s good news. Your head doesn’t need stitches but I really would recommend that you stay overnight at the hospital.”

“I’ll be fine, I swear. I’ll just take it easy,” You insisted. The medic sighed and then she stepped back.

“Agents, would I be able to speak to one of you privately?” The medic asked. Luke and Matt exchanged a look before Luke gestured for the medic to follow him. Matt then walked over to you and sat down on the crate beside you.

“I think you should listen to the medic,” Matt said. You rolled your eyes before letting your eyes close again.

“I can take care of myself,” You repeated. 

“I’m sure you can but you’ve got a concussion and that means your brain isn’t functioning the same,” He stated blankly. You scoffed and huffed out. You didn’t even have the energy to open your eyes anymore. You were exhausted and you felt like you could have curled up on that crate and fallen asleep at a moment’s notice. But you didn’t, “Listen, buddy, I do not doubt that you can take care of yourself but we just want you to be safe.” Matt was approaching you like he did with his kids when they were being unreasonable. It seemed to work well on them but he wasn’t so sure about what it would mean for you.

“I’m always safe. I just wanna get home and get a glass of water, all I can taste is vomit,” You admitted. Matt nodded and he glanced over your shoulder to see Luke return from his conversation with the medic. He gestured for Matt to tell you to head out and so Matt was left with the task to coax you to your feet.

He kept a hold of you as you walked out of the warehouse and when you stepped out, the lights were still flashing red and blue. It made your head hurt and you flinched away from it. The rest of the team was talking with the PD, discussing what the best course of action was when they spotted you.

JJ and Emily were at your side in seconds and JJ took you off of Matt’s hands.

“How you feeling?” JJ asked softly. You shrugged.

“Fabulous.” The sarcasm laced your tone and they both knew it but it at least meant that you were still somewhat feeling yourself.

“Are you okay to go home?” Emily asked. You shrugged again.

“Medic told me that she would advise I go to the hospital if I don’t have anyone to look over me for the next day but I’ll be fine,” You insisted. Emily’s eyebrows furrowed and she glanced at JJ, who seemed just as concerned. Emily tried to argue back but like you had been earlier, you were set in your way. You refused to go to the hospital and when Luke came over, hearing your bickering, he only made it worse.

He explained that you had thrown up and that you were refusing to listen to anyone which only made Emily even more concerned. And somehow, in the midst of the conversation, people began to discuss whether any of them could stay with you to ensure that you were okay. You honestly began to tune the conversation out, resting against JJ’s shoulder.

Your eyes reopened again after a moment and you were looking at Luke. His arms were crossed over his chest, face set into a frown and you knew that he was mad at you. He had looked so angry and you had thrown up right in front of him. You mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to him and he sighed.

“If you both have plans, I can watch over her. Roxy can stay with the sitter for another day,” Luke interjected. You let your eyes fall closed again. It was the first part of the conversation that you had heard and you didn’t really understand it. Emily and JJ exchanged a look before they looked back down at you.

“Are you sure?” JJ asked. Luke nodded.

“Listen, I don’t have any plans. It’ll be easier,” He said simply. You opened your eyes again to look at Emily who seemed a little worried by the proposition.

So, you decided to speak up, “He can just sleep on my couch and then, if I get attacked again, I’ve got a scary man to take them down for me.” There was an amused lilt to your tone and you met Luke’s gaze. He looked honestly a little baffled by you but he didn’t say anything against it.

“I don’t mind,” He added. You smiled and nodded, lifting your head from JJ’s shoulder. She kept a hold of you.

“Okay,” Emily agreed.

“But if something happens, you call me, okay?” JJ made Luke promise. He was quick to agree and then the four of you trudged to the rest of the team. You were quick to wrap up with the local PD and you got on the jet to head home. At some point, you fell asleep on the flight but you honestly weren’t sure when.

But when you woke up, you still felt atrocious. Your head ached with every blink of your eye and your memory was still a little fuzzy. However, you did remember that Luke was coming home with you. 

So, when he ushered you into his car, you didn’t bother to try and fight against it. You were surprised that he had even suggested that he could take care of you considering how snappy you’d been with each other but you didn’t have the brain power to question it.

Instead, you just directed him to your apartment, got him to park in your usual spot and he helped you get inside. You could at least walk on your own now but your head was killing you. The nap on the jet had done you good but you honestly didn’t feel much better. You need painkillers before you even went anywhere near your bed. And realistically, you needed a shower. You needed to get the blood out of your hair but you also didn’t have the energy to do anything.

Luke could tell that you were feeling overwhelmed and so, he just led you straight to where (he assumed) the bedroom was. He told you to get changed into pajamas but you were quick to start bitching about the blood in your hair. So, - with reluctance and under the condition that you kept the bathroom door unlocked so he could help you if something happened - he let you get a shower. 

The water relaxed your muscles and you felt cleaner without blood clumping your hair up and so when you got out, you slipped into pajamas and trudged into the living room. He had already gotten painkillers and a glass of water out ready for you and he was sat on the sofa. He seemed to constantly be on high alert.

“Thank you,” You said before you downed the pills with the water. He was quick to stand up, checking over you and you looked a lot better, “I have some spare pillows and a cover in my bedroom. So, you can at least sleep comfortably on the sofa. Can you get the ice pack out of my freezer while I do it?” You asked. He nodded and was quick to cross over to the kitchen while you went into your bedroom.

You pulled the spare sheets from the top of your wardrobe and began to put the covers over the pillows and duvet. However, the movements were making you dizzy. You were over-exerting yourself and you had to steady yourself on the edge of your bed. That was not good but you finished the job and returned to Luke.

You dropped the duvet and pillow on the sofa before you walked over to the kitchen. Luke was wrapping the ice pack in a towel just as you came up beside him. He offered it out once he was done and you placed it against where the pain was pulsating from.

“Will you be okay on the sofa?” You asked after a moment. He nodded and you sent him a smile, “Thank you for helping me. I haven’t really given you a reason to but I appreciate it,” You explained. It was probably the most vulnerable you had been with Luke in a while and he seemed to recognise that.

“Thank you for trusting me to be here,” He said. You shrugged, adjusting the hold on the ice pack to keep it more stable, “I was worried about you. I found you in a patch of blood and I thought I had lost you. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” You weren’t sure if it was the concussion or reality but there was something akin to love in the way he spoke about you. You looked at him for a moment before you let your shoulders drop.

“I should have been more careful,” You responded. He shook his head.

“You had no way of knowing he had been there.” Luke was quick to shut you down. Everything he had said was out of frustration and worry for you but he didn’t know how to explain that. He just couldn’t have you beating yourself up over it.

“I would have if I’d just been paying attention. Instead, I was thinking about you and how angry I was at you. It would have been different if my head had been in it. But it wasn’t. We were both distracted by each other,” You said. Your voice had softened and you felt like there was a weight off your shoulders now that you had admitted that to him.

“Yeah,” He said and the silence spread between the two of you for a moment before he cleared his throat. He then suggested that you both head to bed and you thought it was probably best to call it a night. You said that Luke could change in the bathroom, and get a shower if he wanted to before you headed into your bedroom.

You curled up under the covers, thoughts of Luke lingering in your mind.

-

Your eyes snapped open, sweat dripping down your back as you looked around your dark bedroom. You were half-pushed up on the bed, the paranoia from your dream lingering. You could remember someone coming at you, something had come to find you but then it went completely blank. But you were safe. Nobody was trying to get you in here and so, you settled back down on the bed. It was uncommon for you to get nightmares after particularly difficult cases but it had been a while and you felt a little shaken.

Your head wasn’t hurting as much as it had a few hours ago but you didn’t feel any better than you had earlier in the day. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you kicked the covers back. You let your eyes fall closed when you heard the bedroom door open. You tilted your head to the side and Luke popped his head in.

He was surprised to see you staring back at him and he smiled, a little awkwardly.

“Please tell me you remember your name,” He said. You chuckled softly at his words before nodding your head. You repeated your name back to him and he nodded.

“Have you been checking on me since I fell asleep?” You asked. He nodded his head and you sighed, pushing yourself to sit up.

“The medic told me to check on you every hour or so,” He explained. He then stepped into the room a little bit and you rubbed your eyes with your hands. You were exhausted, you could feel it in every bone of your body. And if Luke hadn’t fallen asleep yet, you couldn’t imagine he felt much better. You wrapped your arm around yourself.

“Please tell me you fell asleep,” You muttered. He shook his head and you sighed. Your head fell forward slightly and you seemed to remember that you had gone to sleep with an icepack. Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked around. It seemed that you had dropped it but you weren’t entirely sure where.

“You looking for the pack?” He asked and you nodded. The pain was beginning to bloom in your temple again, “It’s back in the freezer.” That was a relief. You settled back on the bed but your body was still rigid, “What woke you?” He asked. Your head fell back against the headboard and you let out a hiss of pain.

“Had a weird dream,” You explained. He let out a soft ‘ah’ and you nodded, “Guess a head injury does weird things to your brain,” You muttered. He nodded. He was still leaning against the door frame and you just wanted him to get into the bed, if you were honest with yourself.

“You should try and get some sleep,” He said and you shrugged. You didn’t even want to think about trying to go back to sleep. You just wanted to stay up and talk to him for a little while. You knew that it would make you feel better but he also needed to sleep.

“You need it more than me,” You retorted. He shrugged and you sighed, “If you need to keep an eye on me, just lay in bed with me. It’ll be easier and you might be able to get some sleep.” You were blunt, exhaustion stabbing behind your eyes and your body was aching. You were so sick of the pretense.

“The couch is fine,” He quickly attempted to rebuke but you slipped off the edge of the bed and trudged over to him. 

“Drop the gentleman shit. Just lie in bed with me,” You said, grabbing his wrist and gently tugging him towards it. He sighed but gave in and the two of you slipped under the covers. You lay on your side, careful to avoid putting too much pressure on the injured side of your head. Luke lay across from you, facing you. Your eyes fell closed, “What did he hit me with?” You asked after a moment of silence. Everything was a bit of a blur and you could only really remember the shadowy figure of the Unsub walking away.

“Baseball bat. Aluminum.” Your jaw dropped at his words and he nodded his head, “I took him down and he had it on him. I thought the blood was the vic’s but then I found you,” He explained. You could only imagine how Luke had felt at that moment. It was a baseball bat. And the Unsub had hit you pretty fucking hard. You weren’t sure how you were alive but you were glad that you were even if your head hurt.

“I tried to shoot him but I couldn’t reach my gun,” You admitted. He adjusted his position so he was a little closer to you.

“I got him. The vic is fine. We did our job,” He attempted to soothe you. You nodded but it didn’t make you feel all that much better. In fact, you just felt worse. You should have got him but it was fine. You closed your eyes, hoping that you could just fall asleep. But you couldn’t. You sighed and looked up at Luke.

“Can you hold me?” You asked after a beat. His eyebrows furrowed but he simply nodded, shuffling closer to you. He then pulled you against him and you buried your face against his chest. Your eyes fell closed and he slowly began to run his hands soothing along your back.

“We can talk in the morning, get some sleep,” He whispered softly. You nodded and you felt the tension release from your shoulders before you slipped into sleep.

<3

built to fall (5)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after having a rough month, the feelings that you had been harbouring for your co-worker finally come to the surface

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (later on), mutual pining, discussions of mental health, reader gets drunk, vomiting, suggestive themes, sexual tension, cases that the bau work are also mentioned so the usual warnings for the show apply

warnings for this part; MDNI (minors do not interact) sexual content, fluff, tired reader, tired team, jj being nosy (we love her), smut, fingering, squirting, praise kink, soft!dom luke, self-indulgent smut, needy reader

notes; okay, hello my lovelies, i'm literally just dropping this and then crawling back into my hole because i woke up feeling atrociously tired and worse than i have since i got the flu in december, i will save you from the grim details but safe to say, i'm exhausted, but i gave this a little edit this morning and it's literally just self-indulgent smut and like just a little hint of what is gonna come for these two, we get a very very small smidge of luke worshipping reader hehe. like this is written entirely to my taste so whoops but anyway, i hope you enjoy <3

tags; @smurfenijsje12 @xoxomoonlightbabe

ao3 / masterlist

previous chapter

You were the last one to arriveto the jet after you had to stop off at your apartment to get a to-go bag together. You had rushed around like a headless chicken, regretting not being more prepared for this but it served as a good distraction from the wetness between your legs. 

By the time that you had clambered aboard the jet and dropped into the seat beside Emily, you had completely forgotten about the ache that Luke had left behind. Then when Emily began to talk you through the case, any arousal that still lingered was squashed. It was hard to think about how much you needed Luke when you were staring at pictures of mangled corpses. Really, your job was the biggest buzzkill.

Garcia popped up on the scene as the jet took off and the usual routine ensued. You discussed the case and came up with any preliminary theories before Emily told you where all of you needed to go when you landed. And you weren’t entirely sure if it was a curse or a blessing that she sent you and Luke to assess the latest crime scene.

Part of you was glad to spend the time with Luke but the other part of you didn’t want to have to try and keep your composure around him because you knew that would basically be impossible. 

However, you kept your mouth shut and the team then split off to do their own private theorizing and reading of the case file or just take a short nap before you landed. That meant that everyone was sufficiently distracted enough for JJ to quiz you about your late appearance and what Garcia had told her about you being at Luke’s.

“You got something you wanna tell me?” JJ asked, cocking an eyebrow with a wry grin on her face. You looked up from the casefile, furrowing your eyebrows as you ran through every possible scenario that she could be talking about. At first you assumed it was something about the case but then you caught how her eyes drifted to the mark on your neck.

The mark that you had forgotten Luke had left on you.

“I stayed at his place,” You shrugged, looking back down at your casefile. You wanted to talk to JJ about it but also you didn’t want the entire team knowing your business. You and Luke had just spent the weekend together and you hadn’t even discussed what the two of you were. For now, it was simply the two of you enjoying each other’s company in a less than conventional way.

“You just stayed over?” She asked. You glanced around and noticed how Luke’s gaze had lifted. He had clearly caught on to you and JJ’s whispering and you sent him a smile but that just made him lift an eyebrow.

“Yeah, stayed over, met Roxy, we went on a few walks and he cooked for me,” You forced your gaze away from the man in question to look at the blonde in front of you, “His cooking isn’t as bad as you’d think.” You had to bite back the smile that spread across your face. JJ narrowed her eyes before she nodded her head, “And we obviously kissed,” You said, lowering your voice even more. JJ grinned.

“Just kissed?” She asked and you nodded your head.

“We got… interrupted,” You mumbled as you stared down at the case file. JJ couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped her lips.

“What? By Garcia?” She asked, baffled. You nodded your head.

“Duty calls,” You mumbled. JJ bit her lip, hiding her amusement as she glanced over at Luke. He had returned back to his work, reading through the file and pretending like he wasn’t listening to the two of you gossip.

“No wonder he seems so frustrated,” JJ commented. Your head snapped up and you stared at her. She was quick to throw her hands up defensively, “I’m just saying what I see.” You scoffed and looked back down at your case file.

“He at least got a release,” You muttered under your breath but JJ caught it. Her gaze flicked to Luke and then back to you before she felt herself internally cringe at the image that popped into her head. But she didn’t bother to say anything else, it was a conversation for another time when the two of you were alone and not looking at mangled corpses.

-

To put it simply, this case was exhausting. The team had been up for most of the night, investigating and setting up with the local PD. You and Luke had checked out the scene and gathered everything you could about the sadistic killer. But then you had returned back to the station where you settled in for the next few hours. It was a long night and your investigation dragged out long past the rise of the sun.

By the time that night fell again, the team was exhausted and had hit a brick wall in the profile. It was clear that nobody was really feeling their best so Emily ordered everyone to head back to the hotel and get some rest so they could take another crack at the case the next day. You were glad of the break. The exhaustion had made you feel brain-dead and you needed to switch your brain off for a few hours.

You, JJ, Luke and Emily took one of the cars back to the hotel and when the two women had taken off to their rooms, Luke walked you to yours. It was the gentleman thing to do - he had said - which just made you laugh. Both of you were exhausted and you couldn’t help giggle at him. You also knew that he wasn’t just being a gentleman.

He had dropped his bag into your room earlier so you didn’t even bother discussing whether Luke would stay with you. He was going to and he let you tug him inside once you had slipped into the room.

“I feel like my brain is melting out of my skull,” You muttered as you closed the door behind the two of you. Luke walked over to his to-go bag, an amused chuckle escaping his lip at your comment. You watched him from the bedroom door, a smile spreading across your face. He looked so cute. He was clearly just as tired as you were but he was keeping a brave face. You assumed that he was probably used to not sleeping amazing. 

But you wanted him to sleep well tonight. So you wandered over to him and leant up to press a kiss to his lips. He smiled down at you before he pecked your lips again. Then he told you to get ready for bed. So, the two of you switched into your pajamas and you curled up on the bed. Luke was still in the bathroom as you buried your face in the pillow.

Now that you were alone with Luke again, that familiar ache had reappeared between your legs. It was really not the time and you just wanted to sleep but seeing him shirtless and looking so domestic as you brushed your teeth together had you reminded of the weekend. The way he held you, kissed you and his moans and whines and the way that he had used you for his own release. It had all been so much in the best way and the memories were making you want him so bad but you were on a case, you couldn’t do it now. As much as you wanted to.

“Everything okay?” Luke’s voice brought you from your spiraling thoughts. You nodded, sending him a slightly fake smile before you shuffled to the side on the bed so that he could get in beside you. You hadn’t even realized that your thighs were squeezing together to get some sort of relief until you had to shuffle. The ache was worse now. 

Once he was comfortably under the covers, you moved towards him, ignoring the wetness in your panties in favor of snuggling up to him. His arm wrapped around your back, tugging you closer and you settled down, letting your eyes fall closed.

“Luke,” You muttered after a moment. He tilted his head down as you looked up, meeting your gaze, “I didn’t cross a line when we got called in, did I?” You asked softly. You would have asked him earlier but between the case and the rush to get to the jet, you hadn’t really got a chance to check in with him.

“No.” He said firmly. You nodded and rested your forehead back against his chest, “Just wish I could have repaid the favour,” He mumbled. You shrugged,

“You’ll just have to make up for it when we’re home,” You retorted. He let out a ‘mhm’ of agreement but his mind seemed distracted. You glanced up at him, feeling a sudden change in how he was holding onto you, “What’s wrong?” You asked quickly. He looked down at you, a devious look in his eyes.

“I want to fuck you in my own bed but I can still repay the favour in a different way,” He said as he moved his hand to cup your jaw. Your eyes fell closed, the thought of him finally giving you the release that you desperately craved just making you wetter, “And it might help you sleep a little better. I can feel how tense you are, carina,” He whispered in your ear. You bit your lip before you forced your eyes back open, looking at him.

“Please,” You whispered softly. He grinned and then he moved to sit up, his back against the headboard. He tugged you between his legs, your back pressed against his front and your legs hooked over his, spread out for him. Your head moved to rest back but the tension in your shoulders was still present. He leant down and slowly began to kiss against your neck, hoping that the soft kisses would relax you a little.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” He asked, his voice low in your ear. His hands were resting against your thighs, open for you to take. You bit your lip before you shifted your hand to grab his, slipping it under your pajama shirt. His hand engulfed your tit and he gently squeezed it, “Just there?” He asked, teasing a little. You shook your head and took his other hand, slipping it under the waistband of your pajama pants and underwear. His finger nudged your clit as you guided him to your slit and you twitched against him, “Fuck,” He breathed out. Your hand slipped away from him as his fingers began to move of their own accord.

He ran his fingers through your wetness, collecting it between his fingers before he dragged the fingertips up to your clit. He circled the bud and you let out a breathy whine. Your head fell back against him, your shoulders relaxing.

“Good girl,” He whispered into your ear as he began to move his fingers into a steady circle over your clit. It was a little slower than what you usually did to get yourself off but the slow build up of pleasure was tantalizing. He then shifted his hand against your tit to gently pinch your nipple. You let out a shaky breath, eyes falling closed as he moved, “Tell me if it’s too much,” He said after a beat. You nodded your head vehemently.

“It’s good, it’s so good,” You whimpered as he continued his movements on your clit. His head moved down to press a kiss to your hair before he shifted. His hand that had been pinching and playing with your nipple, trailed across your stomach and down to the waistband of your pants.

“I wanna take these off,” He said as he fiddled with the waistband. His movements on your clit hadn’t let up and the build-up was making you squirm. Part of you wanted him to go faster though. You knew that if he just went a little faster, you’d get that release you’d been craving, “Carina,” He whispered against your ear and you groaned softly, tilting your head up. You forced your eyes back open but they were half-lidded as he looked at you.

“Go a little faster, please,” You begged. It quickly became clear to him that you hadn’t comprehended his request which only made him smirk.

“Okay, baby, I can do that.” He was quick to comply, moving his fingers a little faster. You bit your lip, throwing your head back against his chest. Your back arched against him and he grinned against your skin. He was going to have fun with this. You were breathing heavily as your hands fisted into the sheets. 

The pleasure was building in your gut and you could feel that familiar pull of release but you didn’t want this to end. A low moan of his name fell from your lips when he suddenly began to flick across your clit rather than circling it. His free hand shifting from the waistband of your pants up to your neck. 

“Is this okay?” He whispered as he gently squeezed on your neck. You were practically panting as you moved one hand from the sheets up into his hair. You did your best to nod your head, panting out ‘yes, yes, yes’. His lips were resting against the shell of your ear and you felt the breathy chuckle that escaped his lips at your whining and moaning.

“Oh God,” You whined as your back arched further, fingers tugging at the root of his hair. Your walls were contracting around nothing, clit throbbing with each flick of his fingertips.

“You’re being so good for me, baby. Cum for me, carina. Let me give you what you need,” He whispered against your ear as his fingers squeezed around your throat. You were panting, eyes falling closed and his mumbles of praise was the last straw. 

Your thighs were shaking as you threw your head back, moaning his name as you came. The slick gushed out of you and his fingers were quick to dip down to catch it. He smirked against your ear, letting his hand slip from your neck to your stomach. You felt completely boneless and relaxed for the first time in months. It barely took anything for him to have you whining and keening for him and he couldn’t deny that he was high on the power.

As you came down, he pressed soft kisses to the skin of your neck and his hand that had been on your clit settled to rest in your underwear  but away from your sensitive clit. You had sounded so pretty moaning his name and he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to truly repay you for what you’d done for him, “Do you want another one?” He asked softly. His lips brushing against the shell of your ear. You bit your lip, eyes still closed but you did. You really did.

“Please,” You whimpered. He chuckled and slipped his hands up to tug at the waist of your pants and underwear.

“Gotta take this off then,” He said. You nodded and lifted your hips up so that he could slip the fabric down your legs. He didn’t bother stripping them completely and instead let them settle just above your calves. It gave him enough room to work and he was quick to slip one hand to your cunt and the other to your clit.

When he pressed his fingers against it, you shivered. It was still sensitive from your first orgasm but the pleasure from the slow circles he ran around it made the overstimulation easy to ignore. His hand on your cunt ran two fingers through your slit. You were so wet for him and it made slipping a single finger into your weeping hole that much easier.

The feeling of his fingers inside you had you keening but you knew that you could take more than that. It seemed Luke quickly understood that too and slipped a second one inside. His thick fingers filled you up just right and he curled his fingers inside you. Your walls contracted around him and he smirked against your hair.

“Oh, carina, you're desperate for it, aren’t you?” He whispered. You nodded your head, biting your lip as you canted your hips forward slightly. His fingers buried deeper inside you and he smirked, “Want me to move my fingers?” He asked. You nodded, begging him with soft whimpers of ‘please’ and ‘yes’ and he slowly began to move them in and out. His other hand was still circling your clit and the combination of pleasure was making you melt into him. Whimpers and moans falling from your lips as one of your hands buried further into his hair. You were gripping at his curls, canting your hips in time with his thrusts.

“Do you need me to be faster, baby?” He asked. You nodded your head, letting out a needy whimper as you turned your head to look at him. His eyes were hooded, blown-wide with lust as he took in just how destroyed you look. Mussy hair, parted lips, half-lidded eyes and the squelching of his fingers as he shoved into you, you looked beautiful.

“I-” You tried to say something but then he changed pace on your clit again. He began to flick it, moving side-to-side and all that came from your lips was a moan of his name. Your head falling back against his shoulder, “I’ll- your fingers-” You wanted to tell him, you wanted to warn him but the quicker he moved, the harder it became to speak. 

Your mind was becoming a hazy mush as he slipped a third finger into you. Your walls tightened around him, thighs shaking as you lifted up slightly. Body pressed against him, “You’re gonna- make me- fuck your fingers will make me squirt,” You finally managed to get out between breathy whines and moans. Luke smirked and it just seemed to make him move faster. His fingers slipped in and out of you quickly. Your walls were squeezing him, hips meeting his every movement as he flicked your clit quicker.

You felt it. The tendril of pleasure that was about to snap and then it did. It was like everything shunted forward and you squirted. His hands were soaked with it and it dripped down to your ass, soaking the bed beneath you as you panted, whined and moaned his name. He was pretty sure he’d never seen such a pretty sight.

“Fuck,” He groaned as he slowly pulled his fingers from you. They were shining with slick and he couldn’t help grinning. He hadn’t expected to make you cum like that but he couldn’t say it wasn’t a beautiful sight.

“Should have- should have warned you,” You mumbled as you fell back against him. Your head was lolling to the side, rested against him as you panted against the skin of his neck. He leant forward and pressed a kiss to his temple, shifting you forward so that you curled up against him. 

Your legs were shaking still, your pussy throbbing as you turned to the side to rest your head against him. His hands were covered in your slick and he was mesmerized by it, “I’m sorry, it’s messy,” You muttered, clearly you were fucked out. Your eyes could barely stay open as you rested your cheek against his chest.

“Don’t apologize,” He suddenly said. His voice was low, stern and serious, “Nothing wrong with messy,” He mumbled before he leant down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He wanted to hold your face and kiss you properly but he needed to clean up his hands first. You also needed to go to the bathroom.

“Thank you,” You muttered. He pressed another kiss to your forehead before he coaxed you out of your post-orgasm bliss. It wasn’t long before he had taken you into the bathroom and while he washed his hands of your slick, you sat on the toilet. You were so tired but you pissed, wiped yourself up and joined him at the sink. You washed and dried your hands before you trudged up to him. You wrapped your arms around his torso.

He wrapped his arms around you, tugging you against him before he connected your lips into a soft kiss. It was just a few pecks before you pulled back, eyes half-closed. The sleepiness was making its presence known and he knew that you both needed to get some sleep. Also, your post-orgasm bliss had only seemed to make you even sleepier. You seemed more relaxed than you had been all day. He felt bad for leaving you so worked up but it wasn’t going to do that again.

With a gentle tug, he took you back into the bedroom and he checked over the bed. There was only a small patch of wetness which he was quick to avoid as he tugged you under the covers. Part of him felt bad for making such a mess and not having the forethought to lay a couple of towels down before he fucked you with his fingers but he had seen you squirt tonight and so, he wasn’t really sorry at all.

When you both got back into the bed, Luke let you curl up on top of him. Your head rested against his peck, the soft thrum of his heart lulling you into serenity.

“Can’t wait to be back home. Wanna see what else you can do,” You mumbled softly against him. He chuckled, his chest vibrating with it as you smiled against his skin. He moved his hand to rest against your back, running patterns along your skin.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” He responded. You hummed back before finally letting yourself succumb to sleep. Within seconds, you were conked out and he just watched you for a little bit. Your chest rose and fell steadily as you snuggled against him in your sleep. It was soothing to have someone after so long. He wanted you to fall asleep against his chest for the rest of his life and he loved you even if he wasn’t ready to tell you that yet.

<3

next chapter

LUKE ALVEZ (x fem!reader)

^ - fluff / * - smut

ONE-SHOTS

concussed ^ statistical anomaly ^ faltered needy * blue shirt yours *^ fixation * pillow pal ^ just a hug ^ thief ^

DRABBLES

luke admiring the reader doing her makeup ^ luke worshipping his partner ^* luke helping his partner with curly/wavy hair ^ how luke would act when his partner (or he) got injured ^ giving luke shopping hauls when he's away on cases ^ luke planning a getaway for his partner