Cm X Reader - Tumblr Posts

(20) 22

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here for Red (Taylor’s Version) masterlist

Add yourself to my Taglist (Click link in bio)

Prompt - ‘It feels like the perfect night for breakfast at midnight.’

Notes - happy new year!! (this was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but tumblr broke again)

When Rossi informed you that he was hosting a New Year’s Eve party you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. Lately everything had been piling up, deadline after deadline, meeting after meeting, everything fell all at once and you found yourself constantly two steps behind where you needed to be.

Thankfully you had managed to get on top of things for the time being, though you still had a to-do list that was way too long.

A David Rossi party was exactly what you needed right now. A chance to dress to the nines, have your hair and makeup done for once instead of rolling out of bed ten minutes before your morning class or thirty minutes before your shift started.

It was a chance to forget about everything for the night. A chance to forget about the stress of essays and research, a chance to forget about the heartbreak of your last breakup that still followed you around despite how hard you tried to push it away. It was a chance to have fun.

When New Year’s Eve finally rolled around you couldn’t help but smile as you woke up with something to look forward to. Today was the first time in as long as you could remember that you were doing something fun and weren’t holed up in the library with piles of research books.

You’d bought a new outfit for the occasion, nothing in your closet seemed appropriate for Rossi’s party. It was fun and you couldn’t help but smooth your hands down the fabric as you looked in the mirror, makeup perfectly applied thanks to the artist, you looked amazing.

A buzz at your door had you quickly throwing your shoes on and grabbing a small bag before you headed out of your apartment. You couldn’t help but laugh as you saw the limounse Rossi had sent, it looked so out of place in this run down part of town.

You thanked the driver as he opened the door for you and it wasn’t long until you were pulling up at Rossi’s.

The front door was open and the party seemed to be getting started if the amount of people already there was any indication. Everybody seemed to get the dress code memo as they all looked incredible. Rossi had gone all out on the decorations too, sparing no expenses.

You made your way further into the house, plucking a glass of something from one of the waiters as you looked around the room. You were definitely one of the younger people there and other than Rossi you had a feeling you wouldn’t know many other people but that didn’t bother you.

“Y/N!” A voice called causing you to turn around. You smiled as you saw Rossi making his way over to you, a grin on his own face. “Oh, it’s so good to see you, kiddo.” He said when he was close enough, pressing his lips to your cheeks before pulling you into a hug.

You let yourself sink into the hug and if you squeezed him slightly tighter than usual, well who was judging? Rossi knew you were having a rough few months, from the breakup with the douchebag he had never liked to your ever growing work pile. He was glad you agreed to come tonight so easily because he had planned on getting you here one way or another.

Besides, there was somebody he had to introduce you to.

“Hi Dave.” You beamed up at him when the two of you finally pulled away, Rossi’s arm staying around your shoulder as he led you out of the room and into the garden, all the while chatting away and asking you questions. You were relieved that you could finally tell him things were better.

“There’s some people I want to introduce you to,” He told you before smirking, “one in particular actually.” You watched him smirk and rolled your eyes.

“Dave,” You began with an over exaggerated sigh, “I came here to have fun not for you to set me up.”

Rossi couldn’t help but laugh, not having a chance to respond as the group turned at the sound, smiling over at the pair of you.

“Everybody this is Y/N, kid you know Aaron and this is Derek, JJ, Emily, Penelope and this here is our very own genius Doctor Spencer Reid.” Everybody smiled and waved at the introductions and there was no mystery as to which one Rossi was trying to set you up with.

You smiled back, watching as Spencer smiled bashfully at being the only one singled out and you couldn’t help but think he was cute, not that Rossi would ever hear you admit it.

“So how do you two know each other?” JJ asked.

“Yeah Rossi, she’s a bit too young to be wife number seven.” Derek grinned causing everybody to laugh.

“Three wives,” Rossi said, wagging his finger at the group, “three wives is a very reasonable number. As for Y/N,” Here Rossi paused looking at you and giving you the chance to tell the story or change the version of events.

You smiled at him, thankful for the chance but these people were his team and they had all seen the type of things that had happened to you on a daily basis.

“I met Rossi before he retired from the BAU, one of his final cases actually.” You told them, giving the nod to Rossi that he could take over.

“The unsub was killing families and Y/N’s was the last family he targeted, from there he went off script and took the kid.” Rossi gave your shoulder a squeeze and you leaned into him.

It still hurt to think of them, of course it did. It hurt to think of what that man had done to them and to you but eventually it got easier to deal with. After Rossi had got to you before the unsub could do much more damage he extended his stay, taking vacation time he had never used, and stayed with you everyday as you recovered in the hospital. He was the reason you weren’t so afraid anymore, without him you don’t know how far you would’ve gotten.

There were murmurs of apologies and sympathetic looks which you brushed off with a wave of your hand.

“It was a long time ago. I’m just glad I had you.” You said, leaning your head against Rossi’s shoulder, missing the soft look that spread across his face before he placed a kiss on your head.

“Well now that that’s out of the way,” Rossi spoke, “Who’s ready to drink?”

The cheers he got in return were all that were needed to get things started.

-

You were surprised at how easily you fit in with the team, though the drinks probably, definitely, helped with that. To begin with you had stuck to Rossi’s side but eventually you found yourself relaxing and it wasn’t long before the girls took notice and you were pulled over to their sofa and were taking shots with them, laughing all the while.

Eventually you felt the room spin and you were ready to sit the next few rounds out. You stood up before stumbling over to one of the emptier sofa’s that your group occupied and sat down on it, not taking note of who else was there.

“You okay?” A voice asked softly, causing you to look up and see Spencer looking at you with a smile.

You hummed as you sat back, letting your head hit the back of the soft as you smiled back at him, eyes closed to fight against the dizziness. You didn’t feel the sofa shift as Spencer stood up and didn’t take note of how long he was gone for but the next time you opened your eyes Spencer was holding a cold glass of water out towards you.

“You should drink.” He told you, smiling as you shook your head. “One of the reasons you’re feeling dizzy right now is because of the dehydration. Even though you're drinking, alcohol actually doesn’t hydrate you so it’s best if you drink water in between drinks. Also, it’ll help with the hangover you’re going to have tomorrow.” He grinned at you as you looked at him through squinted eyes.

It took a couple more seconds before you took the water with a scrunch of your nose but after the first few sips you ended up happily gulping the drink down, feeling much better already.

“Huh, you really are a genius.” You told him, enjoying the quiet laugh you got in return.

“So they tell me.” He chuckled as he took the glass off you to place on the table.

“You’re not drunk?” You asked him. You’d taken note of the fact that even though he was drinking he was taking it easier than the rest of you. Whilst you and the girls had done way too many shots and Hotch, Derek and Rossi were making their way through a scotch that probably cost more than your apartment, Spencer was still nursing his second drink of the night.

“I don’t really drink.” He told you, watching as you nodded.

As the two of you continued to talk you missed Hotch, Derek and Rossi watching you with matching smiles. For months now Rossi had been trying to hatch a plan to introduce you to Spencer but with your workload it hadn’t happened. Now as he watched the two of you shift closer to each other, heads bent down and talking so softly none of them could hear the words, he knew he’d made the right call.

You and Spencer spent most of the night on the sofa, chatting away and getting to know each other. The cold air and water was definitely helping and you didn’t feel quite so drunk so you were able to enjoy the soft conversation and retain the information he was giving you.

“Oh, oh, quick everybody!” Both you and Spencer startled as Penelope exclaimed loudly, pulling you out of your own little bubble. “The countdown is starting! You’re mine, Derek Morgan.” She grinned, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Oh baby girl, you best believe I’ve been waiting all year for this kiss.” He grinned right back at her.

“It’s midnight?” Spencer murmured, shocked at how fast time had seemed to move as he spoke to you, trying to learn as much as he could about you.

“Hell yeah it’s midnight pretty boy.” Derek said, causing you to giggle. Spencer looked over at you with a smile as he stood up, ready to follow the rest of the team to the living room for the ball drop.

He held a hand out of you, something which didn’t go unnoticed by the team even with all the alcohol in their system, but you were oblivious to the looks as you took his hand and let him lead you to the living room, neither of you letting go.

Spencer managed to grab two flutes of champagne just as people started counting down from ten, handing it to you.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!” With that people erupted into cheers, couples around you were kissing, friends embraced each other and you were surprised to find you didn’t feel the least bit lonely.

You would have thought that after the break up, after the stress and isolation of the last few months you would have felt so lonely reigning in the New Year but right now, Rossi to your side and Spencer’s hand in yours it was hard to imagine being lonely.

“Happy New Year, Y/N,” Spencer said softly, barely heard above the music and cheers but as his lips pressed to your cheek you heard them perfectly.

“Happy New Year, Spencer.” You replied just as quietly, a smile you couldn’t fight back on your face as he pulled away.

Spencer was pulled out of the bubble the two of you created once more as Derek threw an arm around him.

“You got a kiss for me, pretty boy?” He grinned, taking great delight in watching Spencer flush.

Your smile got even wider if it were at all possible even as you tried to wipe it off your face as Rossi wrapped his own arm around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing your temple.

“Happy New Year, kiddo. Something tells me you’re gonna have a lot to thank me for this year.” He smirked, eyes darting from Spencer to you.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but hope he was right. Judging by the shy smile Spencer gave you at the words he had overheard, he wanted it too.

“Pancakes!” Penelope yelled randomly causing everyone to look at her. “I want pancakes!”

“Where-“ JJ hiccuped, “where even does pancakes at midnight?”

You watched Penelope’s smile fall as nobody spoke up.

“I know a place.” You finally said, causing Penelope’s head to snap around to you, grin firmly back in place as she made her way over to you.

“You’re my new best friend.” She declared, ignoring the protests from the others.

It wasn’t long before the lot of you were piling into one of the many cars waiting out front, Spencer grabbing your hand gently and sitting you down next to him. He didn’t know what it was about you, usually he hesitated to touch even the people closest to him but with you he didn’t even think about it.

Your hand in his felt right, his lips against your cheek had felt right. There was something about you he so desperately wanted to know and he could only hope that you wanted to know him too.

As you all sat around a table, various chairs having to be dragged over to accommodate the group, you couldn’t help but smile. You felt so comfortable around these people, each of them welcoming you in without any hesitation. The table was filled with so many different breakfast foods, fireworks could be heard in the distance and as Spencer took your hand in his once more you couldn’t help but think that this was going to be a good year.

____________

Spencer taglist - @levisbloodcut, @mystic-writings, @siriuslyfearless, @silverose365, @divanca2006, @sia2raw, @chaoticevilbakugo, @kodiakwhiskey, @girloncorneliastreet, @averyhotchner, @grccnaway, @frickin-bats, @fanf1ctionwrit1n, @ilovespencerreidmarryme, @classyunknownlover, @chickensrule, @memories-from-a-nerd, @onlyssca, @black-rose-29, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @j-cat, @mrs-scottmccall, @filmsbyblair, @reidsbookclub, @nomajdetective, @canadailluminate, @asherhunterx, @carmellasworld, @battinsonn, @jasontoddthezombie, @instabull, @honkroselyn, @buckysnumberonegirl, @parkershoco, @father-violet, @mystic-writings, @mmaiamore, @leftmooninfluencer,

Only You

Click here for my masterlist.

Febuwhump Prompt - failed rescue attempt

Prompt - ‘I hate to make everything about me but what am I supposed to do without you?’

You were still half asleep as you stumbled onto the jet, flopping down into the seat next to Hotch, letting your head rest upon his shoulder. Hotch looked down at you, face softening as he watched you close your eyes. By the time the rest of the team had trailed onto the jet you were fast asleep against Hotch.

The plane ride was only a short one so by the time you were in the air Hotch was gently shaking you awake, you groaning as you turned your face further into his shoulder before pulling away and rubbing at your eyes.

“Morning princess.” Derek grinned, way too energetically for four in the morning. You glared at him as Hotch nudged you and pressed the tablet into your hands, information already loaded up for you just as Garcia’s voice filled the jet.

“Police just responded to the scene of another body, same markings on the victim.” She told you all, causing you to look down at your notes to see the markings she spoke of.

You raised an eyebrow as you saw each woman had three crosses carved into their skin, one large one on their chests and then small ones on each inner arm. As well as that there was a diagonally cut along their face starting from the temple right down to their jaws.

“The crosses seem to be done post mortem, they’re too clean and haven’t scabbed over whereas the cut to the faces seem to be done whilst the victims are alive if the jaggedness and blood pattern is anything to go by.” Spencer informed everyone as you continued to skim through the information.

So far three bodies had been found, four now including the latest victim, all found spread out in public places. You looked up just in time to see Rossi and Hotch glance at you before sharing a look with each other but when you raised a questioning eyebrow at Hotch he just shook his head.

“Tell them to leave the body as it is, Garcia, we’ll be there soon.” With that Garcia disconnected the video call leaving you all to look through the notes and talk about potential unsubs.

“Y/N I want you with me at the latest crime scene. JJ, Dave head down to the station and see what they have, Reid go with them and see if you can narrow down the geographical profile. Morgan, Prentiss go to the lab and see if they have anything for us yet.” Hotch instructed as the jet landed and you all headed your separate ways.

As you and Hotch walked the crime scene, trying to figure out how somebody could plant and position a body without being caught even considering the early hour, you felt uneasy. Your head whipped around as you surveyed the scene but other than the press and officers nobody was there.

“You ok?” Hotch asked as he watched you look around.

“Huh?” You questioned, turning back to him with a shake of your head, “Yeah, I’m fine.” You told him, forcing a smile on your face as he nodded and turned back to the body.

You glanced around once more before doing the same.

It wasn’t long before you were all at the station, nothing coming up from your walk at the crime scene, Morgan and Prentiss hadn’t found out much from the ME. The only person who had had some luck was Spencer who was gesturing to different places on the map and rambling on about the most likely places the unsub could be.

You felt bad for zoning it out but geographical profiles had never been your forte. Instead you turned your attention to Hotch who was listening to Spencer whilst rubbing his temple, trying to push away an oncoming headache.

You stood up and headed out of the room, Hotch turning to you as you did but you weren’t gone long, heading out to the kitchen area to pour yourself and Hotch a drink. Hotch shot you an appreciative smile as he brought the cup to his lips.

“So all we know is that the unsub is somewhere in that area and is consistent in victimology and that only gets us so far, short of looking the same these girls are as different as you could get.” Derek said as he threw his folder onto the table.

“He’s right, they never went to school together, never shopped at the same stores, hell I doubt these girls had anything connecting them.” Emily said.

“There’s something we’re missing, get Garcia to keep looking into them.” Hotch ordered as he stood up to take a call.

“Reid, are you able to pinpoint anything about where he’s finding these girls?” Rossi asked, leaning back in his chair and fiddling with a pen.

It was only hours later that you were informed of another body. You, Spencer, Derek and Hotch headed to the scene to see if you could find anything useful. It was more than obvious that the unsub was devolving, two bodies in one day. The crosses on the latest victim were clearly done when she was alive, all of them jagged and messy.

As Spencer and Hotch examined the body and Morgan interviewed the woman who had found the body you looked around and noticed an alleyway not too far from the body, it seemed like the only place that an unsub would have half a chance at not being caught from.

You glanced back to the others and saw they were still busy so shrugged and headed over, with the way this case was going it was probably just another deadend. But yet when you headed into the alleyway you got the same feeling you did at the last crime scene, you felt uneasy as the hairs on your neck stood up, a shiver running down your spine as you looked around but nothing was there.

As you turned to leave you came face to face with a man much taller than you and before you had the chance to scream or pull your gun he immediately smothered your face with a rag. You tried not to breathe in but were forced to and it wasn’t long before you slumped against the man who wore a sleazy grin.

“What do you mean she's gone?” Hotch snapped as Derek informed him you were nowhere to be found.

“I don’t know man, she’s not here.” He watched as Hotch stepped away, pulling his phone out and listening for a ringtone to sound from somewhere around him but it never came. The car was still here and there weren’t many places you could go.

“Get Garcia to track her location,” Hotch said to Derek, “Now.”

The tone of Hotch’s voice had Derek obeying the order instantly, no flirting with Garcia as he snapped at her to do what he asked.

“It’s off.” Garcia told him with fear running through her veins.

“What?” Hotch snapped into the phone that was now on speaker.

“It’s not on, I can’t track it.” Garcia repeated, her thoughts spiralling.

Hotch bit back a series of curses as his team and the officers looked to him for guidance and he hated that he didn’t have an answer.

They somehow ended up at the station, each of them trying to create a profile that would lead them to you. Hotch paced up and down an empty interview room, hair messed up as he continued to run his fingers through it cursing himself for letting you come along to the crime scene in the first place.

“You need to calm down.” Rossi told him as he entered the room.

“Calm down?” Hotch questioned with a look of disbelief, “Calm down?! It’s my fault she got taken and you want me to calm down?”

“It’s not your fault.” Rossi told him, voice even despite the worry he felt for you. Somebody had to keep a level head and it clearly wasn’t going to be Hotch.

“Not my fault? Dave, she matched the unsub’s victimology, I knew that and I still let her come to both crime scenes, I never shou-” Here Hotch cut himself off as he remembered something.

“What is it?” Rossi asked, following Hotch out of the room as he stormed over to the one the team had been given.

“Get Garcia on the phone.” He demanded and his order was fulfilled in seconds, Garcia’s worried voice filling the room.

“What can I do?” She asked.

“I need you to pull up video footage from the McAdams crime scene,” He told her, mind racing.

“On it, what am I looking for?” The sound of typing filled the room as Hotch thought back to the look on your face.

“The unsub was at the crime scene. Y/N knew it, she knew he was there.” Hotch told them.

“She knew the unsub was there?” JJ asked.

“She didn’t know who it was but she knew something wasn’t right. The look on her face-” Hotch trailed off as Rossi led him to an empty seat.

Nothing any of them said would stop the man blaming himself, not until he had Y/N back.

The team sat in silence as Garcia flipped through footage after footage desperately looking for anything that would help lead the team to you, trying not to think about what the man was doing to you right now.

It took near on forty minutes of scrolling through video feeds before Garcia found something. It wasn’t the clearest footage but the guy definitely gave her the creeps.

“Sir, I think I found him.” Garcia said, causing Hotch to sit straighter in seat as he stared at the phone waiting for her to continue. “If you’ll direct your attention to your tablets,” she said as she sent the blurry images to all of them. “I’m working on making it clearer and getting a face ID as we speak.”

“Fast as you can, Garcia.” Hotch ordered.

“Yes sir, I’ll let you know when I’ve got something.” Because she would get something, no way was she letting anything bad happen to you.

Hotch was a mess as he paced around the small room, setting everybody's nerves even further on edge, if it were possible. They hadn’t seen Hotch this worried for as long as they could remember. The only thing running through everyone’s mind was that they had to find you.

Everybody’s attention turned to Hotch as his phone pinged.

“Aaron?” Rossi asked, standing up as he watched his friend pale drastically. “Hey, whoa, take a seat.” He said, watching as the man’s legs turned to jelly and pushed him into a chair.

As he took the phone from Hotch he saw exactly what had caused the reaction, there you were, strapped to a chair with a cross carved onto your chest, blood pouring from the wound as tears fell down your cheeks.

“We have to find her.” Hotch said quietly, his own eyes filled with tears as the image of you burnt into his mind.

“We will.” Rossi told him before turning to the team, “Call Garcia, tell her to track the phone.”

With some luck Garcia managed to get a location on you before the phone was switched off again. The unsub was hiding away in an abandoned warehouse thirty minutes away from them.

Hotch drove like a mad man, with the way the unsub was going he wasn’t sure if you had thirty minutes. He pushed that thought out of his head as he blinked back tears and tightened his grip on the wheel.

He couldn’t think like that. He couldn’t because then he’d have to think about everything he would regret, the number one thing on that list would be not telling you how he felt about you. How you were one of the few good things in his life and how he never wanted to be without you. He’d regret not taking the risk, not crashing his lips into yours.

He thought back to all the dinners the two of you had together or the times you spent the night at his place, nothing ever happening but sometimes cases got too much for you and you needed somebody safe. You had told him he was your safe place and he still hadn’t bit the bullet and kissed you. He should have told you then and there he was in love with you, how every time he pictured his future you were always there with him, at his side.

He swore to himself he’d tell you now.

He’d tell you now.

They arrived at the warehouse, blue and red lights lighting the place up as everybody stepped out of their cars, guns drawn as they split up and entered. Hotch had done plenty of rescue missions before but this one was different, this one was you.

They weren’t prepared for the size of the place, more rooms than they could count and you could be in any one of them. Hotch felt himself going crazy as they opened door after door only to find nothing.

“Hotch,” Derek’s voice sounded in his ear, “You need to get here quick,” He was told the room number and that was it.

Hotch practically sprinted across the warehouse, fear flooding through him as Derek refused to tell him whether you were ok or not. He pushed through the door, Spencer and JJ right behind him, before freezing, the other two barely stopping themselves from crashing into him.

Because there you were on the floor, medics surrounded you as they performed CPR in a desperate attempt to get any sign of life from you.

Hotch staggered backwards, knees giving out as he fell to the floor. Derek made his way over but what could he do? They all watched on as the medics continued working on you, the blood loss was way too much though.

One medic shook their head causing Hotch to let out a sob as two other medics brushed past the group and it wasn’t long before you were being carried out to the ambulance.

“I’m going with her.” Hotch said as he tried to climb into the ambulance but was pushed away by one of the medics.

“I’m sorry sir but you can’t.” She said with a sympathetic look.

“I’m going with her.” He repeated harshly, Derek placing a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down but he shook it off.

“Agent, I’m going to be honest with you she might not even survive the ride to the hospital, the only people in that ambulance are going to be her and the people who might be able to save her life, you wanna stand here and continue this conversation or can I go and save your girlfriends life?” She asked bluntly, she felt sorry for the man but there wasn’t time for this argument. “Meet us at the hospital.” Were the last words said before the ambulance doors closed and the sirens sounded.

“She has to be ok.” Hotch said to himself.

“It’s Y/N, she’s gonna be fine.” Derek told him but all that blood had him doubting his own words.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the hospital, forced into a private waiting room and offered no information. Hotch couldn’t sit still and instead opted to pace the length of the waiting room praying to anybody that would listen that you would be ok, you had to be because he didn’t know what he was supposed to do if you weren’t.

Four hours later a nurse finally came out to see the group of anxious agents. Hotch immediately turned towards him begging for some good news but the look on his face had Hotch’s blood turning cold.

“I’m sorry,” he started and Hotch just about felt his world end, “She’s still in surgery. Her heart stopped three times but we managed to get a heartbeat. It’s still weak and unsteady but it’s there. I can’t make any promises to you but for the moment she’s stable and we’re doing all we can to help her pull through.”

Hotch didn’t know how to react and felt himself collapse into a plastic chair, the nurse giving him a sympathetic look before leaving.

“She’s doing well, Aaron.” Rossi said, taking a seat next to him.

“She died, three times. They don’t know if she’s going to make it.” Hotch said, his voice breaking as tears fell down his face because saying it outloud made it real. “I can’t lose her Dave.”

“She’s a strong kid, she’ll pull through.” Was all Rossi said before the waiting room fell silent again.

“Hey baby girl.” Derek said as he stood up to hug Garcia, both of them needing it right now,

“How is she?” She asked anxiously, sniffing slightly.

“No news yet.” Spencer said quietly from his seat.

“How’s he?” She asked just as quietly gesturing over to Hotch who sat alone in the corner of the room.

“He’s not doing so well.” Emily said, smiling sadly at her boss.

Everybody knew how Hotch felt about you, it wasn’t the best kept secret. Hell, even you knew how he felt and they all knew you felt the same. The only reason you hadn’t acted on it was because you didn’t know if he would be willing to start a relationship with you as his subordinate. As far as the rest of the team was concerned the two of you had been dating for years, you had dinners together, you slept at his place more than your own at this point and on rare days off you still spent your time with each other.

Everybody knew both of you were crazy for each other and watching Hotch not know if he was going to have the chance to tell you how he felt himself was breaking their hearts.

Fourteen hours later a tired doctor stepped through the doors of the waiting room. Everybody turned their attention to him as they waited anxiously to hear anything about you.

“She’s stable,” He told them, smiling softly at the collective sigh of relief that spread throughout the room. “You were told she flatlined three times, correct? Unfortunately she crashed once more but we were able to get a heartbeat. I can’t make promises but as of right now she’s looking good. Obviously we’re going to keep her for at least a week, though that could be longer if things go downhill but I’ll make sure you’re all kept up to date.”

“Thank you so much, doc.” Derek said and everybody else echoed the sentiment.

“Can we see her?” Hotch asked and the doctor gave him a sympathetic look, the man looked like he’d been through hell.

“One of you can,” He agreed, really nobody should but the man looked like he needed to see her and hear a heart machine confirm she was alive, “For five minutes.”

The rest of the team nodded at Hotch who mouthed a thank you to them before he followed the doctor out of the room and over to you.

When the doctor pushed the door open Hotch froze as he saw all the different tubes and wires attached to you, helping you stay alive. His eyes filled with tears as he made his way into the room and sat down in the chair next to you, carefully taking your hand in his and bringing his mouth down to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“You’re going to be ok, Y/N/N,” He told you, eyes on the heart monitor that showed a weak but beating heart rate. “You have to be ok because I have so much to tell you but the most important thing you have to know is that I love you,” He told you, tears falling down his cheeks, “I love you so much, baby. You’ve got to get better so I can tell you that.”

He looked up when he heard a knock at the door, the doctor giving him a sympathetic look. Hotch nodded at him before standing and taking one last look at you, gently leaning over and placing a barely there kiss on your forehead.

“I love you.” And with that he made his way back to the waiting room.

It was four days before there was any movement from you and then they wished they never heard anything. Alarms sounded and the team watched as a flock of doctors and nurses made their way into your room but despite the open door they couldn’t see what was happening.

“Chest compression now, she’s going into cardiac arrest!”

Those words sent a sliver of ice down everybody’s spine, Hotch staring wide eyed at the door, not daring to take his eyes off it like that would somehow help you.

“Defibrillator!” Another doctor called and then he was counting before they shocked you, “Nothing, again!” “Clear!” “Again!”

The words merged into each other as Hotch leaned against the wall for support, his own heart beating out of his chest as he heard them continue to shout how there was nothing.

“We have a pulse!” One doctor finally called and Hotch sobbed, Rossi barely catching him as his knees gave out and pulled him into a tight hug.

“She’s being transferred into the ICU,” the doctor informed them after several hours had passed, “we’ve put her into an induced coma to allow the body to heal but she should be awake in the next two days.”

Those two days seemed to drag, there was no news about you but at this point no news was good news. Everybody else left and came back to the hospital but Hotch had yet to leave once, refusing to leave you alone here even if you weren’t aware of where you were or his presence.

He barely slept and was on edge the whole time you were in the coma, dreading every time a nurse or doctor came close to the waiting room.

“Agent Hotchner,” the doctor greeted as he stepped in, it was still early and the others were back at the hotel.

“Doctor Smith, how is she?” He asked, dread filling his stomach but then the doctor smiled and he felt a weight fall of his shoulders at the words -

“She’s awake.”

Hotch just about kept himself upright as he was led to your room, letting out a sob as he saw you awake through the window.

“Before you go in there’s some things I have to tell you,” the doctor said, Hotch nodding as he did, “she’s going to be extremely weak and tired for a while, her body has been through a lot of trauma in a short space of time. Give her time. I can’t promise you she’s out of the woods yet but we’re doing everything we can. The only advice I can give you is spend as much time with her as you can.”

And with those comforting words the doctor patted Hotch’s shoulder and walked away.

Hotch took a deep breath before he stepped forward and entered your room, smiling at you as your eyes flickered over to him. He made his way around to the chair next to your bed, taking your hand gently in his, careful of the needle.

“It’s so good to see you awake.” He said, leaning down to kiss your hand.

He watched as you gave him a weak smile and a barely there squeeze of the hand. It was the best thing he’d seen in his life, he thought as he choked back a sob.

“I’m so proud of you,” He told you, “You’re doing so well.”

You felt your lip quiver as you took in his words, your body was aching despite all the drugs in your system. Everything hurt but Hotch was here, Hotch made everything better.

You slowly managed to squeeze his hand again, watching as he smiled down at your joined hands.

“You’re going to be out of here before you know it, yeah?” He asked, watching as you blinked tiredly at him. “We can go to that new restaurant that just opened and then maybe see if there are any good movies on?”

You tried to smile but you’re pretty sure all that happened was a brief purse of your lips but you watched Hotch’s face light up anyway.

Hotch continued to talk about all the things the two of you could do once you got better and you couldn’t think of a better way to fall asleep.

It was a while before you were finally discharged from the hospital, the rest of the team had been forced back to Quantico but Hotch took every bit of holiday time he had and used it to stay with you. Thankfully since your cardiac arrest you had been doing better though you still felt drained more often than not and had a few problems with dizzy spells but the doctors had explained how that was normal after both the cardiac arrest and blood loss.

You and Hotch had to stay in a hotel for three extra weeks as you weren’t cleared to fly until then. In the meantime Hotch and you shared a room, it was easier that way for him to check on you and honestly you didn’t want to be alone right now and Hotch was the only person you wanted to be with.

The two of you lay on the bed, his arms wrapped around you, holding you close as you rested your head on his chest. It was only early, around five pm, and despite the nap before you could still barely keep your eyes open.

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” Hotch murmured suddenly into the silence causing you to look up at him. “There were so many times I thought that was it, that you were gone and I just- I couldn’t-” He cut himself off, blinking back tears as he tightened his hold on you slightly.

“I’m ok.” You reminded him softly.

“You’re ok,” He repeated, “I can’t lose you, Y/N and this isn’t exactly how I wanted to tell you but I think we’ve waited long enough,” He told you with a chuckle, causing you to smile up at him softly. “I love you, Y/N, so much. I can’t picture my life with anybody else and honestly, I don’t want to, I just want you.”

Your smile widened as you listened to his words.

“I love you too, Aaron. I don’t want to picture my life with anybody else either.” You told him softly, shifting slightly so you were looking up at him and Aaron took that as all the permission needed to lean down and softly brush your lips together.

It was a kiss long overdue but neither of you rushed it, both content to show how you felt for each other in soft, slow movements, Hotch’s hands cupping your face as you smiled into the kiss.

When Hotch pulled away he didn’t go far, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“I love you too.” You smiled before leaning up to capture his lips again.

As far as rescue missions go, it wasn’t the greatest but the ending was pretty great.

___________

Hotch Taglist (click the link in my bio to add yourself!) - @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair, @mrs-scottmccall, @j-cat, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule, @eternal-silvertongued-prince, @fanf1ctionwrit1n, @cassidymb121, , @grccnaway, @averyhotchner, @chaoticevilbakugo, @sia2raw, @cleardetectivechaos, @silverose365, @mystic-writings, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @ellevandeberg, @taecube, @alexxavicry, @battinsonn, @labellapeaky, @parkershoco, @father-violet, @lizamango, @leftmooninfluencer, @varshhyy, @urbestgrrl, @randomwriter1021,

I Wish It Was Me

Click here for my masterlist.

Febuwhump Prompt - Forced to Watch

Prompt - ‘Believe me, if I could take your place I would do it without a second thought.’

The basement was dark and cold, every bone in your body ached and blood poured out of open wounds, you could feel some slip down your face from where your head had been smashed against the floor. You were certain your leg was broken, the hammer connecting with it more times than you could count as you sobbed and screamed, your throat sore after hours of screaming.

The unsub cackled from somewhere above you as he let his boots connect with your ribs again and again. You knew they were broken too, could feel the pain as you breathed in, a rib poking into something it shouldn’t as you continued to cry out in pain.

You knew Spencer was in the room somewhere but you refused to look at him, you couldn’t look at him. You knew it would feel worse if you looked at him, your pain would be mirrored on his face and you couldn’t…you just couldn’t.

It should have been a simple visit to question somebody who may have come into contact with the unsub and instead you’d stumbled across the unsub himself, a man neither you nor your team has suspected.

The man, a man in his mid thirties, had been taking couples, snatching two people easily in broad daylight, keeping them for a day and dumping the bodies at night in public places. The women were always the worst, naked and tortured whilst the man remained fully clothed and killed by a single gunshot wound to the head.

You knew the men had been forced to watch whatever torture the unsub inflicted on the women but living through it yourself was worse than whatever you had imagined at the first crime scene.

Could they not look at their partners too or did they seek their gaze, seek comfort and false hope from it?

You couldn’t look at Spencer, you couldn’t watch as he watched you, watch as his emotions played out clearly on his face as you continued to take the full force of the man’s rage. Spencer had tried to direct the man’s anger and attention to him, desperately had tried to be the one getting tortured but you’d shook your head at him because, despite the absolute pain and agony you were in, Spencer had been through too damn much and you were not letting him get tortured for you.

God, where the hell was Hotch?

You and Spencer had been gone for what felt like hours, surely somebody must have realised you were gone by now, surely somebody must have pieced together who the unsub was. Yet you heard no movement in the house, no sirens from outside, nothing but the sounds of your own screams and cries as the unsub brought a knife up to your skin and dug it in before dragging it to create a deep wound that blood freely poured from.

“Stop!” Spencer yelled and you could hear his cries, the desperation in his voice. You could hear the clatter of his handcuffs against the metal post he was tied to, as he tried to free himself without success. “Please, just stop! Leave her alone!”

Spencer’s begs and pleads seemed to do nothing to deter the unsub, if anything it seemed to please him, seemed to make him slice harder, kick harder and each time he did you let out more and more cries, choking as you struggled for breath, desperately praying that somebody would hurry up and figure it out.

Some of the best profilers in the damn country and they can’t piece this together.

You don’t know how long the next round of kicks and slices went on for but eventually the lightheadedness from the blood loss became too much and you let your eyes fall closed, the last thing you heard was Spencer’s desperate cries for you to wake up.

The annoying sound of a steady heart monitor was the first thing you heard when you finally became conscious again, keeping your eyes closed, not quite ready to face the real world again just yet.

“-uld have taken your place. Never wanted you to have to go through that, I always wanted to keep you safe and I couldn’t do anything, Y/N, I tried to but I couldn’t, I couldn’t…” The voice trailed off with a sob and you felt tears against your hand.

Spencer was here.

Relief flooded your system, if Spencer was here then he didn’t have his own hospital room and that meant he was safe, it meant that somebody had finally pieced together where you were and it meant you were safe.

“Y/N.” Spencer said softly, sitting up and quickly wiping the tears from his face before he brushed away the single tear that made its way down yours. “You’re ok, you’re safe.” He assured you and you pulled him closer until he was sitting next to you, his arm gently laying across your shoulder and your head resting against his chest.

“What happened?” You asked, voice sore and hoarse from screaming causing Spencer to wince and grab something from the table before a straw was held in front of your lips.

You smiled gratefully up at him before finishing the glass in just a few sips, relaxing even more as your throat felt slightly better with the cold water.

“The unsub left two bodies before we went to see him,” Spencer told you, his hand tracing random shapes against your skin as he spoke softly, “It’s why it took them so long to realise we hadn’t come back yet. It wasn’t long after you passed out that they came.”

“You okay?” You asked him, keeping your voice as quiet as possible so that it didn’t burn your throat.

“Am I-” Spencer began but cut himself off with a huff of disbelief, “You were just tortured and you’re asking me if I’m ok?” He couldn’t help but smile as you nodded against him, turning your head slightly to press a kiss against his shirt. “I’m okay, Y/N/N.”

“Good.” You muttered, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“I’m so sorry I let you get hurt.” Spencer whispered against your hair just as you were drifting off and you knew he probably thought you had already fallen asleep but you dragged your eyes open and pulled back from him so you could look up and meet his gaze.

“None of this is your fault, trust me I know if you could, you would have taken every single punch, kick and slice.” You told him, tone soft but leaving no wrong for arguments but Spencer still did so.

“I just watched-” He began but you cut him off.

“No, you didn’t.” You told him, shaking your head as you did, “You were restrained and that man doesn’t target other men, he got off on them being powerless, trust me there was nothing you could have done.”

“I wish it was me.” He whispered the confession but you already knew that, you knew if he had a choice everytime something bad happened, you just knew he’d have it inflicted upon himself before he let it happen to you.

“I’m glad it wasn’t.” You whispered back before you leaned up, meeting his lips for a soft kiss, feeling Spencer hesitate for only half a second before he kissed back, cupping your cheek softly, weary of the line of stitches that went from the top of your forehead down to your temple, stopping just above your cheekbone.

“I’m glad it wasn’t,” You whispered again, leaning back in to brush your lips against his one more time, watching as Spencer smiled down at you and nodded.

“You should get some rest.” He murmured, pulling away and positioning you back against  his chest as he brushed his hand against your arm using the hand around your shoulder.

“I love you, Spenc.” You told him, voice soft and drowsy as you let your eyes fall shut once more, already half asleep and missing the smile that spread against Spencer’s face, completely in love with you.

“I love you too,” He said softly, placing a lingering kiss on your head, “so much.”

_________

Spencer Reid Taglist (Link in bio to add yourself!) -

@levisbloodcut, @mystic-writings, @siriuslyfearless, @silverose365, @divanca2006, @sia2raw, @chaoticevilbakugo, @kodiakwhiskey, @girloncorneliastreet, @averyhotchner, @grccnaway, @frickin-bats, @fanf1ctionwrit1n, @ilovespencerreidmarryme, @classyunknownlover, @chickensrule, @memories-from-a-nerd, @onlyssca,, @black-rose-29, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @j-cat, @mrs-scottmccall, @filmsbyblair, @reidsbookclub, @nomajdetective, @canadailluminate, @asherhunterx, @carmellasworld, @battinsonn, @jasontoddthezombie, @instabull, @honkroselyn, @buckysnumberonegirl, @parkershoco, @father-violet, @mystic-writings, @mmaiamore, @varshhyy, @urbestgrrl, @randomwriter1021, @lazysheepperfection, @lucyysthings, @morganaah, @taylordidsomthingbad, @kaitieskidmore1, @aylauwuuniverse, @lucyysthings,@writeroutoftime, @loki-laufeysons-wife, @srhxpci, (sorry if you've been tagged in this like four times, tumblrs bugging for me!)

Hold You To That

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘A person could hold a longing in them all their life, but every now and again it broke the surface and breathed.’

Sometimes it was easier to distance yourself from a situation, when you could see it playing out in front of you, could see that you were only setting yourself up for heartbreak, setting yourself up to fail, it was easier to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.

It was the smart thing to do, taking yourself away from the situation would save you a world of pain, of hurt, of wasting your nights away thinking about the what if’s. And you were smart, you usually put yourself first and could deal with things not going your way.

But when it came to him…god you felt like you were the dumbest person alive. You’d tried at the beginning, you really had tried to step back, to put some distance between the growing friendship when you realised your eyes gazed at his smile for too long, when you realised you were doing anything to hear his laugh, you really had taken a step back and thought of the pros and cons.

There hadn’t been too many cons but there was one major one that stopped you telling him how you felt.

Penelope Garcia also liked him.

You could see it a mile away, could see it in the way she insulted him and complained about him behind his back. You could see it in the stolen glances both of them risked and the smiles that pulled at their faces when the other looked away.

You knew letting your feelings develop would only hurt you but by the time you had realised they were there it was too late.

Luke and you had been fast friends, it hadn’t taken more than a conversation or two for you to feel comfortable around him; to start smiling naturally around him. The two of you worked well together, easily able to read each other without a word and moving together silently to catch whatever unsub you were dealing with. It hadn’t taken long for Hotch to notice and the two of you were paired together more often than not nowadays.

The close bond you’d developed at work bled into your personal lives and it wasn’t long before you were spending as much time at the other's house as you were your own. Luke had a draw of your things in his place, clothing and toiletries swapped from your to go bag into his draw and bathroom, his hoodies had found their way into your closest as his own spare sets of clothes lay in their own draw and a collection of Roxy’s toys and spare bowls occupied a corner of your living room like they’d always been there.

By the time you realised you liked Luke it was too late, you and Luke’s lives were so connected, the daily routines you had made around each other were too developed. You tried putting some distance between the two of you, tried keeping it professional and only seeing him at work but Luke hadn’t let that last for more than a few days before he called you out on why you were avoiding him. Obviously you hadn’t been able to tell him the real reason and that had left you standing in front of him like an idiot as your mouth opened and closed before you were saved by Hotch calling you all into brief on the newest case.

Distance hadn’t worked, so instead you tried just shoving your feelings down. Naturally that also didn’t work but there wasn’t much else you could do. It was hard to hide how you felt, watching as Penelope and Luke went back and forth with each other and having to hide how much it hurt you was difficult at the best of times but when you were surrounded by some of the best profilers in the country…well it was nearly impossible. Thankfully though most of the team hadn’t noticed, you were pretty sure Rossi knew from the sympathetic looks he shot you but he had never called you out on it so you didn’t mind you hadn’t completely been able to hide it.

It had been years since Luke had joined the team and not much had changed, Luke and Penelope had only gotten more comfortable around each other, you had continued to fall harder and harder for Luke as each day passed and kept on shoving it so far down until it hurt.

“Y’know,” Rossi said from your side, causing you to startle as you hadn’t heard him. You had been too busy watching Luke lean against the counter, giving Penelope a soft smile as she had her back turned to him, their words not loud enough for you to hear from your desk. “Sometimes we put other people’s happiness above our own too much.”

You turned away from the break area and looked at Rossi who was leaning against your desk, looking at you with a soft look of concern.  

“Rossi,” you began with a sigh, “I’m not about to ruin my friendship with Penelope just to get rejected.”

“Who said anything about rejection?” Rossi shot back, his lips twitching upwards as you rolled your eyes and gestured discreetly over to the pair.

“Seriously, Rossi? Aren’t you meant to be one of the best profilers? They like each other, I’ve known that for years now so any hurt I’m feeling is on me.” You told him, trying to keep your voice firm but it shook a little, betraying you, not that you could hide much from Rossi.

“Y/N,” Rossi sighed, bringing his hand up to rest on yours but you shook your head and pulled away from him as you stood from your seat.

“Please just drop it, Rossi.” You pleaded softly and Rossi just nodded at you sadly, watching as you walked away.

Luke’s attention was pulled away from Penelope and over to you, his smile softening as he watched you and Rossi talking amongst yourselves. It only took a moment before his eyebrows knitted together as he watched you swallow hard, your jaw tensing as you listened to whatever Rossi was saying. It was when you stood up that he took a step forward without meaning to, noticing how shaky your hands were even as you clenched them in a fist to hide it.

He watched as you left the room and missed the way Rossi’s eyes followed him as he left after you.

“Hey,” he called and watched as you tensed before seemingly forcing yourself to relax as you stopped and waited for him to catch up to you with a few quick strides. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” you told him as you looked past his shoulder rather than at him. “Rossi and I were just, it doesn’t matter, everything’s fine.”

“Y/N,” he murmured softly and watched as your jaw tightened slightly, “c’mon talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you told him, keeping your voice as even as you could before taking a steadying breath. “Listen, if there was something to talk about I’d tell you, ok?” You lied and watched as Luke looked over you once more before nodding.

“Alright,” he said with a smile and you felt yourself relax, sure maybe you and Luke would never be a thing and you would spend so much time longing over what could have been but Luke was still here, he was still smiling at you, he was still your friend and that was enough.

It had to be.

“You wanna get some lunch?” He asked you, keeping his tone light and smile in place. “My hands cramping from all this paperwork.”

You laughed and suddenly Luke felt his smile become more real, of course he was still worried over whatever you and Rossi had been talking about but if you wouldn’t talk to him then the least he could do was take your mind off it.

“Sure, I could use a break.” You answered and mirrored his expression back to him even if it did carry a hint of sadness in it, you would savour any moment you had with Luke, dating or not.

“Good, my treat.” He insisted and when you went to open your mouth he shushed you before he broke out into a grin and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he led you to the elevator.

And so it passed like that for a long time, you forcing yourself to be content just being Luke’s friend, watching as him and Penelope settled into whatever kind of relationship they had going and your feelings for Luke just never letting up, never giving you a break.

You thought it might have been easier when Penelope left, much as you hated the thought because you loved Penelope, she was one of your best and closest friends, but not having to watch her and Luke every day at work made it easier to ignore your feelings, ignore the hurt you hated feeling when you saw them together.

It had been easier for a while until covid hit and the team was pulled apart, you and Luke were pulled apart. Where Luke, JJ and Rossi got to stay with the BAU, Spencer and Matt had been sent on secret missions that only Emily, with her promotion, and the other FBI higher ups were allowed to know about, Tara had been sent well honestly you were even sure where she was now but you hadn’t seen here in too long and then there was you.

You had been requested back with the FBI’s Undercover and Sensitive Operation Unit, a job you had worked for years prior to transferring to the BAU. You hadn’t minded at first, honestly you hardly protested at all, Emily promised it was a three month assignment and then everyone would be back together and as much as the thought of not seeing Luke for three months ached another part of you needed it.

But now it had been three years, the undercover mission you had originally been assigned to long since complete, along with four others and here you were in California deep undercover as you worked a drug case. You and Luke hadn’t seen each other for more than a few minutes in nearly two years and now here you were on opposite ends of the country, not even able to call each other for fear of blowing the operation.

Thankfully you were nearing the end of this operation, waiting on one last bit of evidence that would find all the big names in jail before the week was over. It only took two more days before you were in a hotel room, dreading the call where you’d have to decline another operation because…honestly you were drained. You missed your team, you’d done three years of back to back undercover work and you just wanted to go home.

You missed your friends, missed your own bed, your own identity. You missed Luke. God, you missed him so bad. You didn’t know what was happening with him anymore, three years ago the two of you couldn’t have imagined going a day without seeing each other yet alone nearly two years.

You used to love your position with the undercover unit but after spending so much time with the BAU you knew that was where you were meant to be. Just as you sat on the bed and picked your phone up to call Emily and plead with her to get you back it lit up with a call from Luke.

You felt some of the tension leave you just seeing his name before your eyes went wide and you quickly answered it. Luke never called, he knew it was dangerous to call you and you hadn’t let him know your operation was over.

Something was wrong.

“Hey, can you talk?” He asked, a smile on his face as the video call connected but he kept his voice hushed.

“Luke,” You breathed out, cursing yourself as you felt your eyes sting at hearing him for the first time in months, you took a shaky breath before nodding. “I finished my op today, I was just about to call Emily and then you.”

“Oh thank God!” Luke breathed a sigh of relief as his smile broke out into a grin, “I’ve missed you, Y/N/N.”

“I miss you too.” You choked out, feeling the tears you’d tried to blink away well up and you shook your head as you let out a shaky laugh. “I miss you so much.”

You didn’t care if Luke pieced it together, didn’t care that right now you were just too tired to push down your feelings, didn’t care that they had been dragged up to the surface so abruptly and it was too much. You didn’t know if Luke and Penelope were together, you knew they had gone on a date before everything had been ripped apart so you hadn’t exactly been able to keep up to date with how it had gone but right now you didn’t care.

You just wanted Luke.

“Hey, hey, you’re alright.” Luke murmured softly, his own eyes tearing up as he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffed as you wiped at your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired, Luke. I just want to come home, I miss everyone so much, I miss you. I’m gonna call Emily and see if she can arrange for me to come back because I can’t do another six months away.”

“Well then I’m glad I called,” Luke smiled and your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him but before you could say anything Luke spoke, “we’ve got a situation down here and we need you back.”

You let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob causing Luke to grin at you through the phone and you grinned back even as more tears slid down your cheeks.

“Thank you.” You managed to choke out and Luke’s smile widened even more.

Luke had briefed you on what they had so far which, admittedly, wasn’t much. He gave you the rundown and had one of the new tech analysts send you over whatever else they had so once you boarded the plane you filled the five hour flight with getting up to speed with the case.

By the time you landed it was already midday so you got an uber to your apartment, took a quick shower and only spared half of a longing glance towards your bed before changing into some work clothes and heading over to join everyone else.

You felt a wave of relief hit you once you were in the elevator and nearly cried with happiness as the door opened and you could see your desk. You walked in and saw through the window that everyone had gathered in the round table room so made your way up the stairs and stood in the doorway.

It only took a moment for Emily to glance over at you before her face lit up and she made her way over to you, her arms already open and you easily went into them wrapping your arms around her and forcing yourself not to cry.

“Oh it is so good to see you.” She said and you could only nod into her shoulder and grip her a little bit tighter. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you back sooner.”

You nodded again into her shoulder and pulled away from her, giving her a shaky smile. You opened your mouth to tell her it was ok but you were stopped when you saw movement behind her, glancing over her shoulder to see Luke standing up and staring at you with wide, also watery, eyes.

“Y/N.” Luke said softly, so softly you almost didn’t hear him, especially over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.

Emily looked between the two of you as she stepped aside but you hardly noticed her any more as you took two steps forward, Luke moved forward to and pulled you into his arms, you practically melted into them, unable to stop the tears as you buried your head in Luke’s chest and he gripped the back of your jacket tightly in his fists.

“I missed you so much.” He whispered into your hair and you nodded against him, letting out a shaky breath before you were able to speak.

“I missed you too, every day, every single day.” You told him, the words muffled against his shirt but he heard them clearly and you squeezed your eyes shut tightly when you felt him press a gentle, lingering kiss to the top of your head.

The two of you didn’t move, content to stay in each other’s arms after going so long without seeing each other, needing to feel the other against you, hear them breathing and feel them in your arms to reassure yourself that they were here. You probably would have stayed like that all day if you were interrupted.

“Alright, alright we get it, you two missed each other.” Rossi said, causing you to jump slightly and feel more than hear Luke’s chuckle. “But other people missed you too, kid.”

You grinned into Luke’s chest even as your cheeks were stained with tears before pulling away, looking up at him and feeling your cheeks heat up to see him smiling so softly at you. You finally glanced away and looked over to Rossi who winked at you causing you to laugh softly before you let him pull you into a tight hug.

“I missed you too, Rossi.” You murmured, brushing one hand up and down his back as you lowered your voice slightly, knowing that everyone else in the room could still hear but it didn’t matter. “And I’m really sorry I couldn’t be here for you-”

“Hey now, none of that.” Rossi interrupted and pulled you away from him before placing his hands on your cheeks and gently brushing the tears away causing you to smile sadly at him. “I’m okay and you’re back now, nothing else matters.”

Your heart ached as you looked at Rossi, losing Krystall had taken its toll on him but he was right you were back and he was ok, things would be ok. Rossi patted your cheeks gently before he pulled you close and placed a kiss on your forehead causing your smile to brighten.

“It’s really good to have you back, kid.”

And you were back, immediately thrown into work with no more catching up with anyone. It was impossible to crack anything without Penelope and your heart ached something fierce when Luke offered to go and try to get her back. You’d forgotten how much this bit hurt, for three years you hadn’t had time to dwell on it, too wrapped up in your undercover work to even think about your actual life but now it was like you never left.

You shook your head and focused back on the case at hand, working away until Luke walked back into the room and handed a hot mug which you took gratefully.

“How’d it go with Penelope?” You asked and watched as he shook his head with a frown.

“I get it, you know?” He said and your eyebrows knitted together as you waited for him to carry on. “This job takes its toll on all of us but her, it took everything she had and she never complained. I hate that we’re trying to drag her back into this.”

“If there was another option you’d take it, even if it took longer to crack the case, you’d take it to protect Penelope. This isn’t on you, Luke, whatever happens in this case, if Penelope comes back and it’s too much, that’s not on you.” You assumed they were together, they had to be, it had been years since their first date and there was no denying their chemistry, so you’d sit back like you always had and not get it in the way of that, no matter how much you selfishly wanted to after being away for so long.

“God, I’ve missed having you around.” Luke breathed out and you smiled over at him. “When this case is over I’m taking you out for dinner, it’s my turn to buy.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You laughed and shifted closer to him, close enough that your arms brushed against each other and you hesitated for a moment before letting yourself have one selfish moment, Luke wouldn’t think too much of it, you’d been gone for so long it made sense you’d be a bit more clingy.

You let your head rest against his shoulder and felt Luke relax into the touch as he gently rested his head on top of yours, tilting slightly so he could press a kiss into your hair as he did. Neither of you spoke, both of you were content where you were.

That brief moment of peace was all you were able to steal before you were separated again, Luke working with JJ on finding a connection as you stayed with Penelope, who had thankfully come back because you seriously didn’t know how you were going to finish this case without her.

You desperately wanted to ask Penelope about her and Luke, wanted to know as badly as you didn’t want to know but you couldn’t ask her yet. Now wasn’t the time, right now you had to focus on the case.

“I’m telling you I hate this guy, hate him! I mean first he brings me back to this job and I love you people, Y/N, you know I love you with my whole heart but I was out! And then he refuses to work with me, like I’m the problem, me! And now, now Rossi and Emily are teaming up and making me work with him.” Penelope ranted as the two of you walked to the ballpen, a smile on your face as you listened to her.

God, you really had missed being back.

“Good luck.” You grinned as you made your way over to your desk, Luke already leaning against it, as Penelope turned to glare at you before disappearing into the room with Tyler Green.

“Think Rossi will be able to get anywhere with him?” You heard JJ ask as you joined them, leaning against the desk next to Luke who was looking towards the briefing room with a fond grin.

“I think the real question is, will he survive Garcia? It looks like Tyler Green is Garcia's Most Hated." Luke said, amusement clear in his tone and you smiled even as you felt a pang of hurt at the affection in his voice.

“Sounds like you miss it, buddy.” Tara said with a grin and Luke chuckled warmly as he turned back to you all.

“No. He can have that title.” Luke said, the fondness in his expression staying even as you got to work on the case, pointedly ignoring every time you and Luke brushed against each other.

The case seemed to lead to more dead ends than anything else, victims and witnesses refusing to help and share their story, share who their attacker was, it was driving you crazy.

“Here,” Luke said, handing you a warm to go cup and a sandwich from the coffee shop down the road. “You look like you can use a break.”

“God you’re the best, Luke Alvez.” You grinned as you took the items from him and both sat at your desk. “I feel like I can’t complain though, I mean this case is rough but I’ve missed being here.”

“We never did get a chance to talk about your undercover ops.” Luke prompted after swallowing a bite of his own sandwich. “I know you can’t say much but are you ok? I mean from what little you told me and what I was able to piece together from Emily, it seems like it was just back to back assignments with no chance to breathe.”

“I don’t know, I mean, it’s the unit I worked with before the BAU so I already knew how hard it was but…I don’t know, Luke. I mean I’m tired, I’m exhausted but I also haven’t had a moment to think about adjusting back from that to this. It’ll hit me at some point, it always does, but I guess we’ve been so busy here it just hasn’t yet.” You told him, wishing you could go into detail but even if you were allowed to you wouldn’t share it with anyone, especially Luke, he didn’t need to know the horrors you’d seen out there.

Luke reached over and cupped his hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it rest there as he spoke.

“You call me, the second it hits you, you call me and I’ll be there.” Luke promised and gave you a stern look that caused you to smile before you nodded.

“I promise.” You swore and Luke nodded once seriously before a smile broke out on his face and he switched the conversation to a lighter topic and if your gaze stayed locked on his smile for longer than necessary, well you were allowed to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

“Give me a minute,” you interrupted Luke as you watched Penelope leave the briefing room looking shaken. Luke turned to follow your gaze and frowned in concern but watched the two of you leave together and he knew Penelope was in good hands.

“Hey, what happened?” You asked softly as the two of you entered Penelope’s office.

“I don’t want to talk about it but that guy, Tyler Green, is a jerk and he infuriates me.” Penelope fumed and you nodded at her, knowing her well enough to see she’d shut down even more if you carried on questioning her.

“Alright, so we won’t talk about it.” You agreed easily and she turned to face you with a grateful look. “We’re still waiting for leads to be verified so I’m free until they call me away.”

“How are you?” Penelope suddenly asked and you frowned at her, did you really look so bad that both Luke and Penelope were concerned? “Sorry, I just meant, this whole Sicarius thing has been constant since we both came back, I missed you like crazy and we’re together again and haven’t spoken about anything but this stupid case.”

“I’m okay,” you told her, unsure why you were lying so easily to her but hadn’t been able to tell Luke the same thing. “Once this case is over we’ll have a girls night but for now, I really just want to focus on this case.”

“You’ll tell me if you need anything, won’t you? Even just a hug.” Penelope asked and you couldn’t help but chuckle warmly at her as you nodded, a surge of love filling you as you looked at your best friend.

This is why you stayed silent all those years, why you let yourself fall in love with Luke Alvez without a word. It was because you loved Penelope Garcia, she was your best friend and if Luke made her happy then you would never get between that.

“What’s going on?” You asked Luke as you slipped back into the bullpen a while later and Luke shifted closer to you as he filled you in on the new lead, telling you that there was something connected to Sicarius in Georgia.

“JJ, Luke, I want the two of you in Georgia by nightfall.” Emily commanded and you couldn’t help but frown slightly, watching as Luke’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he glanced between you and Emily, even JJ looked slightly surprised you and Luke weren’t being paired together.

“Um, yeah sure, on it.” JJ murmured as she tapped Luke’s arm and gestured for him to follow her.

“Be safe.” You told him softly and he took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze before nodding and turning to follow JJ and you could only watch him leave before turning to Emily who spoke before you could.

“I need you in with Tyler Green, Garcia refuses to work with him, see if he knows anything about Benjamin Reeves and get him and Garcia on the case together.” She said, passing a file to you before turning on her heel and walking away.

You sighed before heading into the briefing room and placing the file down.

“You’re new.” Tyler said as he lifted his gaze to you and you nodded at him.

“Agent Y/L/N.” You told him before jumping right into why you were here. “Benjamin Reeves, does that name ring a bell to you?”

“Well hello to you too,” he muttered but you just sat down next to him and pulled the tablet close to you. “Reeves, no, never heard of him. Should I have?”

“Maybe, he’s a possible Sicarius connection we’re looking into, could be nothing, could be something.” You explained, turning to face Tyler. “ Reeves had a thing for biting people, a wannabe cannibal.”

“Now that rings a bell.” Tyler told you and you raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. “Look up the term ‘overbite’, you should get something.”

It took you a few minutes to pull the servers up, you weren’t bad with technology but you were no Penelope Garcia and all of this looked like a different language to you. Eventually you had overbite searched up and results appeared. You and Tyler went through the chats together, him explaining the private chats to you as you searched for something.

“I don’t get it.” You murmured to yourself causing Tyler to raise an eyebrow at you.

“Get what?” He asked when you didn’t say anything else and just continued to stare at the screen.

“A rich kid like him, he has everything, there’s no way Sicarius found a way to convince Reeves to kill himself when things got bad. This Sicarius, much as I hate the bastard, is smart, he’s planned for every version of events, every contingency, so why bring Reeves in?” You questioned, not so much directing them to Tyler but needing to work through it aloud.

“Think about it,” Tyler said and you turned to look at him expectantly. “Sicarius has this whole operation, something like this costs money. Your Reeves guy, he’s the funding, I’d bet Reeves knows all about Sicarius’ operation and he has special privileges.”

“But soon enough Reeves’ will just be a loose end.” You realised, standing up to go and tell Emily they needed to find Benjamin Reeves.

You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

Before you left the room you turned to Tyler, you needed Penelope on this case and Tyler seemed to be proving useful.

“Listen, we need to know everything Reeves and Sicarius are talking about. We need to find out what their plans are. This could be our shot at Sicarius. Now I can’t do it, you don’t know where this private forum is but…” You said watching the man sigh before he interrupted you to finish your sentence.

“Penelope can. Fine, bring her back in.” He told you and you laughed at him before shaking your head.

“I have a serial killer to help catch, you’re gonna have to grovel and get her back yourself.” You grinned at him and watched him put his head in his hands. “Talk to Rossi, he’s good at messing up with women and winning them back.”

“Emily!” You called as you watched her enter the room, jogging down to meet her half way. “Tell me you still have Reeves’ here.”

“No, he was let go.” She told you and you cursed softly causing her to frown. “What is it?”

“We need to get to him. Now.” You told her and you were already moving past her, nearly knocking into the Deputy Director.

Both of them followed you out and into one of the SUV’s as you filled Emily in on your theory that Reeves’ was a lot closer to Sicarius than any of you had originally thought, that Reeves could be the one to lead you to the head of the network.

“Fuck!” You cursed as you all entered the house and saw the Senator dead on the floor, bite marks clear on her face and body and you turned away from her, not able to feel anything but anger at the thought of your best lead slipping away.

The ride back to the office was quiet and you prayed Penelope had managed to find something, no doubt that Tyler would have listened to you and convinced her back to the case. You checked your phone before getting out of the car and forced yourself to breathe when you saw Luke hadn’t texted you back.

As you and Emily walked in Tara was already making her way over to you with a tablet in hand.

“Benjamin Reeves' jet just touched down at the Municipal Airport in Whitfield County, Georgia." She told you both urgently.

“What?” You said, frowning as you snatched the tablet of her and read over it.

“That's where he said the ‘buried treasure’ was.” Emily murmured as she looked over your shoulder and down at the tablet.

“Something's not right.” You said as you pushed the tablet into Emily’s hands and pulled your phone out, already pulling up Luke’s contact.

“What...he should be flying to Brazil. Why would he lead us to more evidence?” Emily asked in confusion as she thought back to their conversation.

“You think it's a trap?” Tara asked her but Emily shook her head.

“No. I think Benjamin Reeves is a patsy and he's too dumb to know it.” She said.

“I’m calling Luke, I’ll let him know him and JJ have company.” You said, phone already against your ear as you spoke.

“Hey Y/N/N, we’ve just got here, how’s everything back there?” He asked and you felt a shiver of fear run through you, something really wasn’t right with this case and it had you on edge. Every part of you wanted to tell Luke to fall back, that it was a dead end and to come home, part of you wanted to scream at Emily for not letting you go with Luke.

“Reeves is coming to you.” You said instead and pushed everything down into the same space you kept your feelings for Luke. “His jet just landed there, be careful Luke.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine.” Luke assured but something in you wasn’t letting you relax.

“Luke,” you breathed into the phone and you heard him tell JJ to wait a second, there was some rustling and you assumed he was taking the phone off speaker and moving a few steps away from JJ.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, seeing Tara and Emily looking over at you and you followed Luke’s lead as you moved into the hallway.

“I don’t know, ok? I just-Luke, I have a really bad feeling about this one.” You told him, not wanting to worry him but you always trusted your instincts, you’d rather Luke be overly aware of his surroundings and nothing happening than have him let his guard down and Reeves get the upper hand.

“Alright, okay, I trust you, Y/N. We take this one seriously, careful every step of the way. I’ve got JJ watching my back.” Luke assured and you took a shaky breath that he picked up on. “Hey, I promise you I am going to be back with you soon.”

“God, I hate Emily for not letting me go with you.” You mumbled into the phone and let Luke’s laugh wash over you.

“Yeah, right now I’m pretty glad she kept you there if you think something bad is going down out here.” He told you and you couldn’t help the fond eye roll that escaped you. “Rather have you worrying back there than risk anything happening to you out here.”

“Just be careful, ok?” You asked softly and you heard his voice soften too when he spoke.

“I promise.” He told you seriously, causing you to nod even though he couldn’t see you. “We’re gonna head out now, satellite found a hidden door, our body cams and radios are gonna be on the whole time, alright?”

“Alright. Just…I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“Yeah Y/N/N, I’ll be home soon.” He said and the two of you let the silence wash over you before you finally pulled the phone away and hung up, heading to the briefing room where everyone else was already set up.

“We’re live.” Penelope said as the screen showed both body cameras and she pointed out which was which.

You moved over to stand at the table, the radio in front of you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, hardly let yourself blink as you scanned the screens in search for anything.

You really didn’t like this.

The team around you spoke but you paid them no mind, only listening when Luke’s voice came through the radio.

“We’re going in.” He announced as you watched him pull the bunker door open and you stood straighter at his words, dread filling you as they entered.

Luke walked in first and JJ followed after him, giving you perfect sight of both Luke and the bunker. At first it just looked like the other shipping containers that had been found but then you saw something, something the others hadn’t clocked yet.

“Oh my god.” You whispered and startled when a cell phone rang in the container.

“What the hell is that?” You heard JJ ask but your hand pressed the button on the radio before anyone could register what was happening.

“Luke, get the hell out, it’s a bomb!” You yelled into the radio and watched as Luke shouted at JJ to get out.

Then the cameras went out and you could only stare at them in horror.

“Luke, Luke, come in.” You said into the radio but there was no answer. “Luke, please.”

The team around you spoke but you couldn’t hear them, you continued to plead into the radio, begging for Luke to answer you until you were pulled away and only then did you snap back to reality to see Rossi looking at you in concern but before he could say anything Penelope called your attention to the screen.

“Oh! Oh! One of the camera’s is back online.” Your head shot around, tears falling harder down your cheeks when you realised it was JJ…Luke’s was still out. “Where’s Luke? I take back every mean thing I ever said about him. Please let him be ok.” Penelope said before excusing herself to see if she could get communications working from her office.

You didn’t have it in you to be hurt by the blatant reminder that him and Penelope were a thing, you didn’t care, you just needed him to be ok.

You turned to leave the room but Rossi caught you by the arm and gently spun you around to face them, Emily raised an eyebrow at you as Rossi spoke.

“Where are you going?” He asked and you shook your head as you tugged your arm free from his light grip.

“Georgia.” Was all you said before turning to leave again but Emily stopped you this time.

“Y/N, wait-”

“I’m going, Emily!” You snapped as the tears fell harder down your face. “You already stopped me going once, you’re not stopping me again.”

“Douglas,” she said after giving you a hard look, “it’s time.”

The Deputy Director didn’t say anything, just looked from Emily to you before nodding and gesturing for her to go. You didn’t know what they were talking about and honestly you didn’t care, you were going to Georgia.

You pressed the button for the elevator and shot Emily, Tara and Rossi a confused look as they stood with you but before you could ask what they were doing Garcia came up to them just as they stepped into the elevator.

“Where are you- you’re going to Georgia. Driving or…oh,” Penelope managed a smile as she nodded at you all, piecing together something you hadn’t. “Return it filled up and not just with fuel. Bring them home.”

“We will,” Emily said confidently enough that you believed her and you just hoped she was right. “Wheels up.”

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at her, you hadn’t asked but with all the politics and budget cuts it made sense why the jet hadn’t been mentioned. You didn’t think too much about it though, just thankful you had a quicker way of getting to Luke.

The hour-long flight felt like forever. Rossi sat next to you on the plane but other than holding your hand and letting you squeeze it tightly in yours he didn’t try and comfort you. You hadn’t stopped crying, you needed to see Luke with your own eyes, praying to God he was alright.

“Oh, thank God.” Emily said as you arrived on the scene and JJ and Luke made their way over to you.

You had frozen a few steps behind Emily, Tara and Rossi when you saw Luke. He looked fine, a bit beat up but considering what had just happened he looked fine. Your eyes filled with tears again and Luke’s gaze immediately drifted past the other three to land on you, making his way over to you just in time to catch you in his arms as you wrapped him in a tight hug.

Luke hugged you back just as tightly, burying his face in your hair and struggling to hold back his own set of tears as he heard you sob into his chest as your fingers dug into his back with how tightly you held him.

The others watched on as they spoke quietly among themselves about what had happened but Luke shut them out and focused solely on you. He knew he loved you, hell he’d known that for years now, but he never realised just how much until he’d nearly been taken away from you. Before he passed out, not even registering if he was ok or not, his thoughts had been consumed with you, regret from not telling you how he felt, guilt that you were watching him die through the body cam, sadness that he’d never felt your lips against his.

He swore to himself he was going to tell you.

“I’m alright, cariño, I’m alright.” He murmured into your hair and you shook your head, shifting into the hug like you could bury yourself further in his chest. “Yes baby, I’m ok, I promise.”

It took a few more minutes until you were able to pull away from each other and even then you didn’t go far, your hands coming up to cup Luke’s face, his hands covering yours as he ran his thumb across your knuckles.

“Next time I’m coming with you.” You told him shakily as tears continued to slide down your face and Luke chuckled as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Not a chance.” He answered and you just shook your head. “But the next time you have a bad feeling about something I’m listening.”

Luke leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, murmuring once more that he was fine, before he wiped at your tear stained cheeks.

To nobody’s surprise Reeves turned up dead and Sicarius was missing again. With all the evidence from the container turned to ashes there wasn’t much you could do but head back to Quantico.

You were exhausted by the time you got onto the jet and were asleep against Luke in seconds of being up in the air. Luke wasn’t complaining though, he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you even closer.

“So does your brush with death mean you’re finally ready to tell her how you feel?” Rossi asked once he was sure the girls were distracted and you were asleep.

“You’ve been pushing this for years now, Rossi.” Luke sighed, looking down at you in his arms and thinking about how right it felt. “Every time I told you no, I couldn’t risk our friendship, couldn’t risk losing her.”

“And now what are you telling me?” Rossi asked with a smile, knowing full well what the answer was but wanting to hear the younger man say it.

“I’m telling you that I nearly died today.” Luke said steadily and paused for a moment, Rossi didn’t say anything, knowing he needed to sort through his thoughts. “I nearly died today and the last thing I thought was I really hated that Y/N was watching this. I didn’t want her to see that, Rossi.”

“I know you didn’t, kid.” Rossi told him, thinking back to your reaction back in the briefing room, watching you shut down, plead with a dead radio and snap at Emily.

“I’m telling you I love her.” Luke finally confessed out loud. “I love her and I have for longer than I know and I already lost so much time with her when she was sent back to the undercover unit and I nearly lost the rest of my life with her today. I can’t risk having another day where she doesn’t know, even if she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t care anymore, I need her to know how I feel.”

Rossi sat back in his seat with a smug look of satisfaction that had Luke rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile. For years now Rossi had been hounding him over when he was going to make his move, he knew if this worked out for the two of you he’d never heard the end of it from the man.

“Attaboy.” Was all Rossi murmured before the two of them settled into silence and Luke let himself savour the feeling of you in his arm.

By the time you were walking back in the building Tyler Green had been released without charges for his cooperation, another lead came up and Luke and Tara were being assigned to it and before you could say anything Penelope rushed over and took JJ and Luke into her arms.

As Luke, Emily and Tara worked on the death row inmate lead you and Rossi sat in the briefing room with Penelope in an attempt to pull up anything about what Sicarius’ next plan was. Like most of this case though it seemed impossible to find a solid lead even  after the hours you'd spent reading through the forums.

It was when you had moved to comparing the victims that Penelope’s phone rang and you glanced at her questioningly as she excused herself in a hurry, turning to look at Rossi who just shrugged and turned back to the boards in front of you.

“Here,” You said as you handed Luke a mug of coffee before pulling a chair up next to him at his desk, “you look like you need it.”

“Thanks.” Luke sighed tiredly as he brought the mug up to his lips, you were able to catch a soft smile before it was hidden by the mug. “This case is exhausting.”

“No luck with the death row inmate then?” You asked and he sighed again, a deep and tired one that you felt deeply, you were all running on even less sleep than usual as this case took up every moment of your time.

“We have a guy who’s prepared to die to keep the man he loves safe. The boyfriend just came in and gave us evidence that Herrera couldn’t have committed the murder because they were together. Now Tara and her girlfriend are fighting but at least we got the guy off death row.” Luke filled you in between sips of coffee and you watched him lean back in his chair and let his eyes fall closed.

“And I thought me and Rossi were having fun scrolling through post after post of wannabe serial killers.” You chuckled tiredly causing him to turn his head and smile softly over at you. “How are you holding up anyway? I feel like we’ve barely had a minute after coming back from Georgia.”

Luke let out a chuckle as he nodded, bringing his hand up to rub at his face before letting it fall, he seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching across and taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing across your knuckles as he locked eyes with you.

“Y/N, I heard that bomb go off and I didn’t know what was gonna happen.” Luke sighed and you squeezed his hand softly, trying to offer some comfort without interrupting him. “I figured I could have died, now I know Sicarius timed it perfectly and warned us but then, I didn’t know if I was gonna live or die and my only regret, the only thought in my head was-”

“Y/N, Luke!” Penelope exclaimed loudly, her heels clicking against the floor as she ran into the bullpen and just like that whatever peaceful, hopeful moment that had settled between you and Luke vanished as you jumped, his hand pulling away from yours as he turned to Penelope, your gaze staying on him a second longer before you turned and faced her too. “Meeting room, now!”

Luke turned to glance at you and you shrugged before following the other woman into the room where JJ, Emily and Rossi were already gathered. You took a seat next to Luke, desperately trying to ignore the way your knees brushed together and forced yourself to focus on Penelope informing everybody about her theory on how Sicarius hunted.

It felt like there had been a shift in the case with the new information and you wanted to be happy over it, hell you were happy, for the first time since you’d been called in it actually felt like you could catch the unsub. But then there was the Luke of it all. You had been so close, Luke’s hushed words felt like the confession you’d wanted for so long and you were so close.

“Y/N, I need to talk to you. Now.” Penelope said as when everyone but you and Luke left the room. You glanced at Luke who just shrugged at you before Penelope pushed him out of the room, Luke letting her with a laugh.

“Penelope, are you alright?” You asked as she paced in front of you, her hands fidgeting with each other before she stopped in her tracks to look at you.

“I kissed him.” Penelope rushed out and you stared at her in confusion as you waited for her to continue only for her to stay silent as she looked back at you with wide eyes.

“You kissed who?” You prompted, eyebrows frowning as you glanced out of the window, your gaze falling on Luke but not sure why Penelope would seem so flustered over kissing her partner.

“I kissed Tyler.” She clarified and your head shot around to face her as your eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed Tyler Green?” You exclaimed and she shushed you even as she nodded, confused as she watched your frown deepen. “What the hell, Penelope?”

“I know, I know I said I couldn’t stand him and that he was a jerk but you know…and he ended up not being so bad and I kissed him.” Penelope rambled but when she saw you shake your head she paused. “Are you ok?”

“What about Luke?” You finally asked, keeping your tone even despite being furious with her. For years you’d pined after Luke but kept it to yourself so she could be happy with him and now she was here, quite casually telling you she had kissed another guy whilst her boyfriend was sat in the next room.

“Luke? What does Luke have to do with this?” She asked, seeming genuinely confused causing your eyebrows to knit together. Neither of you said anything for a long moment before Penelope broke the silence. “Oh my god, you think me and Luke are dating.”

“You’re not?” You asked in confusion, head spinning at the new information.

“We went on one date three years ago.” She told you with a slightly panicked laugh and you could only stand there and stare at her wide eyed. When you continued to stay silent Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at you in shock. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”

“Penelope!” You hissed stepping closer to her and risking a glance out of the corner of your eye to see the team had turned to look up to the window at her raised voice.

“You like Luke!” She exclaimed and you could do nothing but collapse into one of the seats, unable to deny the statement but still reeling from learning that the one date you knew about was all that had happened between them. “Oh my gosh, you like Luke and you didn’t tell me! I mean I know he’s y’know,” she said and pulled a face, “Luke, but you two would seriously be so cute together!”

“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” You asked, feeling like you were drowning with how confused you were. “I thought you liked Luke. I thought you were together this whole time.”

“Y/N, me and Luke had one date, it didn’t go anywhere. Did I like him? Sure but I wasn’t heartbroken that we were better off not dating. Wait, is that why you never said how you felt about him? How long have you been keeping this a secret?” Penelope asked and she seemed genuinely upset for you.

You felt way too overwhelmed right now and leaned your elbows on the table, resting your head in your hands as you took a shaky breath before looking back at her to see her sit in the seat next to you.

“You always had this love-hate thing from the beginning,” You stared, knowing you wouldn’t be able to leave without answering her questions. “You didn’t need to be a profiler to see the chemistry between the two of you, everyone knew something would happen between you and him. So I kept my mouth shut.”

“Wait, you’ve liked him since he joined?” Penelope asked sadly and you just shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t say straight away. I mean we hung out together outside of work after he’d been here for a month or two, I spend as much time at his place as I do my own, you know? At some point I started, I don’t know, I wanted to be with him.” You told her, looking down at your hands as you messed with them to avoid her eyes. “But I, I saw the way you looked at him when he looked away, I saw the way he smiled at you when you called him names. I didn’t want to mess with anything between you two and then when I came back, I just assumed the two of you had finally gotten together.”

“There was never anything between us. I mean sure we flirted but it wasn’t serious. Maybe it could have been years ago but too much time passed and nothing happened.” Penelope sighed and you glanced up to see her frowning. “You should have told me.”

“Yeah, now I know that.” You murmured, your mind on all the time you could have potentially had with Luke. “You really don’t like him?”

“Y/N, if I wanted Luke Alvez I would have done something a long time ago to have him,” she told you, “plus I probably wouldn’t have kissed Tyler, who by the way is so hot.”

You let out a shaky laugh before nodding to yourself. Now things were looking up, the case seemed like it might actually be possible to solve and Luke words from before that you desperately wanted to believe were leading into a confession seemed like a more realistic outcome now.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” Penelope said apologetically but you just smiled at her as she answered it, standing up and gesturing for her to stay in the room as you left.

You kept your head down as you walked out of the room, thoughts racing a mile a minute as you made your way out of the bullpen area, missing movement from the corner of your eyes as Luke broke away from the rest of the group. You hadn’t realised he had followed you out until he jogged up beside you and caught your hand in his, stopping you in your tracks.

“Hey,” he said softly as he stood in front of you, his eyes filled with concern. “Is everything alright? Things looked pretty serious between you and Garcia.”

You hesitated a moment, it would be so easy to tell him now. There was nothing to stop you, no fear of losing two of your closest friendships lingering over you anymore.

“The thought in your head,” you said, causing him to frown slightly in confusion at the change in topic, “the thought in your head when the bomb went off, what was it?”

Luke’s face shifted to recognition as he looked back at you after glancing around at the people walking through the hallway. He shook his head before he gestured for you to follow him, not that he needed to as he kept his hand in yours as he pulled you into one of the empty meeting rooms.

“How much I regretted not telling you how I feel about you.” Luke said once the door was closed and he turned back to you. “How I’ve been in love with my best friend for years but I wasn’t brave enough to ever tell you.”

As he spoke he got closer to you, raising his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone and you felt frozen to the spot, scared to breathe in case you shattered the moment and he pulled away.

But Luke wasn’t going anywhere, not now that he had finally managed to force the words past his lips. He leaned down and rested his forehead gently against yours as he waited for you to say something.

“I thought you died,” you finally choked out, watching as his face softened and his other hand came to rest on your waist. “I thought you died and I hated myself for not telling you that I’ve been in love with you for as long back as I can remember.”

Your words were quiet, barely more than a whisper but with how close you were pressed against each other Luke heard them clearly. A grin broke out on his face, he tried to reign it in but it was impossible when the person he’d fallen so hard for was telling him his feelings were returned.

His eyes glanced down from your eyes to your lips and he watched as you smiled back at him. It was all the permission he needed to lean down and press his lips to yours. The kiss was nothing more than a brushing of lips first before it turned into something more. Luke’s hand on your cheek made its way up to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands, as he pulled you impossibly closer with the hand around your waist before pressing you against the wall. Your hands found themselves pressed against his chest as you let yourself explore it and the kiss…

The kiss was filled with a mix of emotions, so much passion, so much longing, so much desperation. This was a kiss that was years in the making, a kiss both of you had only let yourselves dream about, neither of you thinking it would ever become a reality.

You were forced apart when both of your phones chimed at the same time, Luke pulling away first and the pair of you breathing heavily as you caught your breath, Luke’s forehead coming back down to rest against yours as he grinned at you and you mirrored the expression back.

“I promise you, cariño, the second this case is done I am taking you out.” Luke promised and you couldn’t stop the breathless laugh that escaped you as you nodded and put his shirt back into place.

“I’ll hold you to that, Alvez.” His smile seemed to get even wider as he ran his hands through your hair, smoothing the strands he had held.

Your phone’s pinged again and Luke sighed before dipping his head down one more to press a rushed kiss against your lips. When he pulled away for a second time he pulled his phone out and showed you that you were both needed back in the briefing room.

As the two of you entered Luke held your chair out for you and you felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at him before sitting down, glancing over at Luke as he rested his hand on your knee but he focused his attention on Emily though you could see the smile pulling at his lips.

When you finally looked away from him you caught Rossi and Penelope’s gaze. Rossi looked at you with a proud smile on his face, even if it was slightly smug and you couldn’t help but smile back at him as he winked at you. Penelope’s face had broken out into a full on grin that wasn’t entirely appropriate considering what Emily was saying but you let your smile widen as you looked at her, glad things had worked out and she wasn’t mad at you.

As Emily spoke you sat back in your seat. Luke liked you back, something you never thought would happen and wished like hell you had just spoken to Penelope about this years ago but it didn’t matter now. Now all you needed to do was solve the case, something that seemed possible now, especially with the motivation of a date with Luke at the end of it.

__________

Luke Alvez Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -

@averyhotchner​, @sia2raw​, @silverose365​,  @alexxavicry​,  @randomwriter1021​, @catlynhoss05​,  @mrslizzyolsen​,  @xxchaotic​, @dumb-fawkin-bitch​, @pedritoswife​, @navs-bhat​, @jessicalee97​, @darling-seraphina​  

You cannot escape me @unidentifiablesubject 😈

the other one

Without Faith

a/n giggling and kicking my feet rn btw, this is meant to be a set up for something longer! lmk if you're interested in part 2 :)

Summary: After a news story that was only meant to be an internship assignment spirals into a crime story that earns national attention, you feel conflicted enough about your involvement to join a criminal psychology class despite being a journalism major. Despite your good intentions, the universe seems to have it out for you considering your slightly older professor is extremely attractive and the only person that seems to understand what you're going through.

Warnings/info: age gap (reader is of consenting age tho!!), future student-professor relationship, slow burn, slight changes to how college works for the sake of plot, a surprising amount of lore (i got carried away), me writing for a character for a first time on here so be kind 😭

----

It's not often one finds their enemy crumpled up and lying helplessly next to an overflowing garbage can. It's even rarer to see that and still feel the bitter sting of defeat.

"He didn't text me back, which is weird because when I ran into him on Friday--" Carlie, who might know you better than you know yourself, pauses.

You turn your head away from the trash in an attempt to abandon the newspaper as completely as the person who had thrown it away. "You saw James last week? You didn't tell me."

She watches you for a moment, her eyebrows pulling together in a way that tells you she won't accept your lie just because you're offering her an opportunity to re-dissect her most recent interaction with her latest target. "You know I did."

Carlie shifts her weigh from one foot to the other, her eyes drifting towards the ground. "It's there because it's old--it's over."

It's over. The words crack themselves against your skull. More than a sentence, more than a promise. The only consolation the state's attorney could offer grieving families. The sound ringing in your ears as a mother gave into her agony, a choked sob ripping its way out of her throat.

It's over--the catalyst that sent the mother to you in a parking lot illuminated by stale, synthetic lighting. They're the reason for her confession, that in some off-kilter way she thought the verdict would make her feel better.

It's over--the syllables that accompany the sound of the needle leaving Josh Robinson's lifeless body. Killed by the justice system or the media?

"You didn't do anything wrong." Carlie's voice is careful in its unflinchingness. "He was a serial killer. You--you wrote the truth."

And while this awareness has bound itself to your bones, it is rarely enough to make you forget what you did wrong. Journalists are impartial, they don't--they're supposed to understand, they're supposed to be careful. You took it a step further.

"I know."

You don't need to look up to know that you haven't convinced her. However, you must have sounded okay enough for Carlie to accept moving on. "And you're doing more than anyone else would do to make your true crime even better."

It's an exaggeration. Journalists have done a lot more for their careers than request to join a class that belongs to a department unrelated to their degree. But Carlie seems so happy to be able to compliment you, you decide to go with a less sentimental correction, "Not true crime."

"I know, journalism." She sighs, but continues to walk forward in a way that feels oddly optimistic. Maybe even relieved. "Make sure you point out the difference to the professor. I'm sure he'll love that."

You roll your eyes at her sarcasm, but follow her lead anyway. You've already perfected the elevator pitch you're planning to present to Dr. Spencer Reid. A brief but genuine description of the importance of ethical journalism, especially when it comes to writing about serial killers.

You're well practiced and far from worried about winning him over. Academic authority figures have always taken well to you...it also doesn't hurt that you spent all night googling him just to be safe.

"Actually," she begins, pulling open the door to the psychology building, "I bet there's no room for original material in the interaction that you've already imagined, planned, and mentally rehearsed."

You scoff as you step past the door's threshold. "No," the word is dismissive and entirely unconvincing. You instinctually move past it. "Go talk to your advisor about your thesis, I'll meet with Dr. Reid, and then we can order food or something."

The reminder of her own meeting seems to kill the mood, her smile morphing into something more focused. Carlie lets out a small breath. "Right. We got this." And with one final assuring nod, Carlie turns towards the stairwell.

----

The thought is a dull ache that wedges itself into your chest before you can bring yourself to knock against the door. It'll follow you forever.

When you step into the room, Dr. Reid will inevitably ask why you want to join his class. And then you'll have to answer.

You exhale as you extend your arm, knuckles rapping against the wooden surface before overthinking can hurt you any further. After a brief silence, you hear a slightly muffled, "Come in."

You reach for the brass handle, pulling the door open before stepping past the doorway's threshold.

The office is comfortable, a large desk and two plush chairs manage to share the space without seeming cramped. There's a pencil holder and several stacks of papers on the desk's surface. If one ignores the degrees--and the age of the recipient when he received them--on the walls, the office seems normal. Almost suspiciously so. There's even a partially wilted plant sitting on the windowsill.

After taking in the room, you let your attention fall to the individual behind the desk. He's--he--while you've read enough about Dr. Reid to already respect him, and are fully aware that he is far from your peer, you're also now looking at him.

Last night, you did stumble onto a few pictures of him that forced you to reluctantly make a mental note of the fact that he's aesthetically pleasing, but those occasionally blurry snapshots did him and his sharp features little justice.

"Hello," the word is an instinct, slipping past your lips before you're ready to speak.

"Hi," his response is as sudden and lacking in context as your own--a fact that immediately eases you.

Dr. Reid shifts, back straightening against his seat. "You're here for your appointment." You barely have the chance to nod in confirmation before he's continuing, "Come in, take a seat."

In all honesty, you're more glad for the direction than the excuse to sit. You enter his office fully, approaching the plush chair in front of his desk. You sit down, lips parting before you're ready to speak. All structured thoughts have abandoned you.

"Hi." You realize your mistake immediately. You blink, a sound between a self deprecating laugh and a sigh escaping you. "I already said that."

If Dr. Reid thinks anything of your mistake, he gives no indication of it. His expression remains steady, with the exception of the corner of his mouth briefly tugging itself upwards.

Your hands come together on your lap, one of your nails pressing into the nail bed of the thumb on your opposite hand before forcing yourself to relax. You've read enough about his work with the FBI to know that he's so adept at analyzing behavior, you don't need to make it easy for him by giving into obvious signs of nervousness.

"Like I mentioned in my email, I'm interested in joining your class even though it's not an elective and in an entirely different department than my degree." This part is easy, a perfunctory explanation of what he already knows. "However, there is enough overlap that my advisor is supportive of the idea and has already signed off on it."

He shifts again, his pointer finger tapping against the surface of his desk. "Right, she mentioned that, but she didn't mention why."

Okay. This is the part that matters. "I'm a journalism major, and I've recently completed an internship with The Washing Sun." In an act of total self betrayal, you study his expression for any hint of recognition. Finding absolutely none makes it easier to breathe. "And spending time in such an active, journalistic environment has made me fully aware of the way that morals and personal views can complicate ethics."

You pause, pressing your lips together. "I'd like the opportunity to learn about certain behaviors in order to develop a perspective separate from my own.

Though still politely neutral, something behind Dr. Reid's eyes implies an uncertainty that has the rest of your pitch jamming itself down your throat. Whatever's changed doesn't feel like disbelief, and you're far from worried about being accused of lying. You were careful to comb through your mess of emotions before you had even pitched the idea to your advisor--you do feel those things, they're just not the only things you feel.

How delusional had you been to assume the same answers that hid their vagueness behind a heavy layer of altruism that worked on Mrs. Carol would work on a FBI profiler?

"I um--" The sound of your own voice surprises you. "I know what it's like to write something when you can't feel anything for the person everyone's already rooting against, and I'd like to not feel that again." Another glimmer of honesty, barer than your curated story, but still not exactly everything.

Dr. Reid is quiet for a moment, studying you with an openness that should make your skin crawl. "What did it feel like?"

The question throws you. Friends, family, strangers--they've all asked you things about the case, about your article, about hundreds of other things so barely connected you couldn't fathom an answer. No one has ever asked you about that feeling.

"Uh..." You're not even sure you have an answer. "Weird." Your blankness feels like such a cop out, you feel the need to try again. What did it feel like? A hybrid beast made of a festering not-quite-guilt, an over awareness of your every action, all held together by an uneasy pride...that only served to further aggravate the not guilt. "Like I was doing something right and wrong, with no way of knowing what it was more of."

You squeeze your hands together, allowing yourself to focus on the action instead of him. "I'm sorry, that probably doesn't make much sense."

When you finally lift your head, Dr. Reid is already looking at you. A moment passes, the somberness of his features growing heavier in the silence. Maybe he's looking at something past you. "It does."

The affirmation is a small, fragile thing, so faint and far away it almost feels like an intrusion to have heard it. Some selfish part of you latches onto that, his unexpected understanding a lifeline you can't let go of.

You almost thank him before realizing that you have no idea what you'd be thanking him for. "I'm glad," you settle on, fingers carefully coming apart on your lap. "The writing thing's no good if I don't make sense."

The attempt at humor seems to pull him back from wherever he had gone. "Then you have nothing to worry about." He doesn't exactly smile, but there's something easy about the way he's looking at you. "I'll approve your enrollment request."

Relief floods through you immediately. "Really?"

"Maybe it'll help you feel less...weird." From him, your too plain adjective feels a lot more fitting.

You nod once, the motion quick and polite. "Hopefully." The beat of silence that follows comes closer to kinship than anything you've ever felt in someone's office. You're also fully aware of the fact that you've gotten what you came for and that Dr. Reid is likely a very busy man. "I shouldn't take up anymore of your time."

His fingers tap against his desk. "Right. I'll see you in class."

You smile as you stand. "See you then."

The walk towards the door is a lot less intimidating now. Still, once you reach it, you can't bring yourself to immediately reach for the handle. You pause, letting out a breath before turning around. "Dr. Reid?"

He looks up, nodding once in a way that's meant to prompt you. Maybe it's overkill, but it feels necessary and it's too late to back out now. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He doesn't look away from you after responding.

There's nothing left to expect, there are no words or anything else meant to be said. That's not enough to stop some unknown feeling from wedging itself between your ribs, urging you to something, to say anything that might come close to offering him the same kind of understanding he's given you.

"I hope you find a less weird, too."

He doesn't respond, but something about the look behind his eyes and his slight nod makes you feel okay about leaving him.

----

There are few ideologies that have clung to him, and even fewer that have managed to bind themselves to some integral part of his being that exists beneath his skin.

The pursuit of knowledge is one of the few constants Spencer Reid allows himself to rely on, one of the only things he allows himself to consider a saving grace. However, circumstance has prevented his views on the subject from skewing. The irony of the fact that some things are better left unknown is not lost on him.

For example, the girl that walked into his office and immediately saw through him, is better left a mystery. He'd see her in class, he'd answer her questions, he'd grade her work and offer her necessary feedback--but he will not know her.

It's a mantra, a promise that he repeats in his head again and again as his attention falls to the desktop in front of him. He attempts to grasp onto this lack of knowledge, to transform it into a tangible entity to keep him from typing your name into the search engine.

----

a/n spencer entering his garcia era while googling reader 💻🧑‍💻

anyways in ur interested in part 2 or would like to be tagged let me know!!

Masterlist : Criminal Minds

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid x Reader

* = Smut (Minors DNI) II Beware of the TW please

Basically anything from @imagining-in-the-margins but here my very favourites:

Different dialects (Fem!Autistic!Reader. Spencer is trying to tell Reader he likes her, but it feels like they speak entirely different languages.)

Impromptu (Fem!Reader learns some shocking news when a case lands her in the hospital.)

Fairytales (Dad!Spencer comes home to his very tired wife and even more tired child who refused to go to bed without a bedtime story from their dad.)

Growing Pains (Spencer finds unfamiliar lingerie in the laundry. When he confronts his wife, he learns it belongs to their teenage daughter.)

From @fortheloveofwonderland (check her whole masterlist, you won't be disappointed):

A Memory Locked in the Heart (Fem!Reader, eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.)

Mothers Daughter (fem! single mom! Reader, your mother was a keeper of secrets. She kept them so well, for so long she even managed to keep them hidden from herself. And now you find yourself face to face with the love of your life after ten years, you find yourself starting to wonder if you are your mothers daughter after all. Reunion Challenge)

We continue with the lovely @foxy-eva (all her masterlist is worth the checking, just go go~):

Reflections (Fem! Reader, the kindness Spencer Reid shows to a child seems to impress Fem!Reader a little too much)

Lipstick Stains * (Fem!Reader, the shade of your new lipstick is too much for Spencer to handle)

Miscellaneous Authors:

Any Other Weigh @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, a small collection of stories about the times Spencer told Y/N about how big their baby was getting every week)

The Lanky Guy in Room 603 @samuel-de-champagne-problems (Fem!Reader, Meeting in the delivery room with midwife Y/N)

A Trip to Remember @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Mermaid!Reader, For three thousand years, you’ve known only what the lake has to offer you. No human contact for three thousand years, yet, always being surrounded by them. Everything changes when you meet Spencer Reid)

Dear Theodosia @violetrainbow412-blog (Fem!Reader, Dad!Spencer stays one afternoon to care for your three-month-old twins and reflects on how much he loves them)

Darling & Dandelion @eideticmemory (Fem!Reader, Spencer is a lot of things to you. Your baby daddy, your lover, your best friend, and a massive pain in your ass)

Friends to lovers with Spencer @gtgbabie0 (Fem!Reader, Spencer needs comfort)

BFF @babymetaldoll (Fem!Reader, Spencer meets his best friend from school after 12 years apart)

Wife @specialagentlokitty (Autistic!Reader, Spencer Reid with a wife who is autistic and when she comes to visit the team doesn’t know what to do until Reid comes and finds her sitting at his desk)

10 Days @boldlyvoid (Fem!Reader, it's Spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are)

Here for you @weird-is-life (Fem!Reader, 4 times you take care of Spencer and one time he takes care of you)

[Not named] @tinyluvs (Fem!Reader, Being Spencer’s girlfriend and meeting the team for the first time)

[Not named] @ddejavvu (GN!Reader, Spencer Reid and s/o who bites their nails)

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Basically check all the masterlist of @specialagentlokitty but here are my favourites Aaron ones:

Please help me (Teen!Reader, Reader has abusive parents and Hotch and reader are neighbors and reader asks Hotch for help knowing he’s an FBI agent) TW: Abusive Parents

Safe (Child!Reader, Aaron rescues her from a kidnapping but then refuses to leave her side at the hospital)

As slow as you need (Fem!Reader, Hotch x reader where reader flinches) TW: Mentions of abusive ex

Miscellaneous Authors:

Can't Lose You @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, When Hotch gets attacked during a case and ends up in the hospital, Y/N realizes she can't lose him without telling him about her feelings)

Derek Morgan x Reader

The first time @specialagentlokitty (Fem!Reader, Dancing at JJ's wedding)

Obsession @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Fem!Reader, You’re a target for someone who is obsessed with you, and so you offer yourself as bait to catch the guy)

Like a date? @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Fem!Reader, Your older sister brings you to her work, and you get a lot more than you bargained for)

Spring Carnival @storiesofsvu (Fem!Reader, Sweet time at the carnival)

Placing bets @cafeacademia (Fem!Reader, Since you started at the BAU, you and Derek have picked up a fun way to get to know more about each other. By making bets, the person who wins gets to ask any question they like to the loser and the loser much answer truthfully. But maybe there's a bit more that just a bit of fun to the bets...)

It's Always Been You @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, When Agent Y/N Y/L/N gets injured on the job, Derek Morgan is the one to take care of her afterward. However, neither of them expected that him simply cleaning her wounds would turn into a love confession)