Toxic People - Tumblr Posts

my inner child cheerfully holding on to hope for romance despite the hellscape that modern dating is,,,

Vent

my body hurts and everything hurts, I feel like I'm back to square one. I had a friend group of 4(including me), it grew gradually over the years but it was always us four in the center of it, we were inseperable until we weren't. my first friend (who i created the friend group with) dropped me, then a year later I was slowly drifting apart from another, (reminder these friends are/were pratically my brothers) and then I made a really nice friend, i trusted him with my life, then he js ghosted me, and so I was so everything about that, and then on the last day of school sumn happened between me n my friend group (im also the only female in it, they make sexist and racist jokes wow im remembering how toxic they were jesus) me sobbing, them teasing me, etc, and it was so like, idk, because I was sobbing and he did nothing. I had noone else to trust (Except 1 online friend) at the time and he did nothing. that was the last day of school and none of them ever reached out to contact me and apologize, i bet a few of them would if they had my info but none of them did, I ended on good terms with one because we talked at the end of the day, he was always better than most of them tbf. anyway, the one i trusted, my best friend, basically my brother, just like left me. after all we went through, years and years and years, didn't care. I hate him so much but I hate myself for hating him. I don't know who I am without any of them, and it's hard to say who I'll hang out with in the next school year. I feel like im noone at this point, just everything about me, gone and wasted, I don't know, it's all so js fucked. the 4 of us said we would grow up and live together, the 4 of us, happy, or atleast live across/next to eachother. i hate it all, i feel like this is my fault but i know its not. but it could be. maybe i just like unattract people, this always happens to me. every time, i dont think i'll ever know why because each time i do something different. I could be your comfort friend, the friend who trauma dumps, the person who fucking follows you around like a dog. and i'll still get dropped, kicked out on the street left for rats to eat. (hey that rhymes). its so fucked, idk who i am or what i am or what i'll do. I wanna go back to them, I wanna, I shouldn't but I know if I have the option I will. I'm scared. for me. for me and him. for everything and everyone. I'm tired. and it all just hit me. if you've read this far I appreciate you, thank you. (guys ignore the tags please im not edgy bart simpson wallpaper kid please I beg of u)

Anyone else find it really weird that there are tons of people on this site who are like, ‘I’m a small soft bean UwU’ and relate themselves to woodland critters in flower crowns when they would happily dox someone or otherwise ruin their life just for funsies?

That moment in your healing period when you realize you would rather die alone than go back to your abuser >>>>>

He’ll beat you up, then play the victim // It’s honestly best to stay far away

One of my goals for 2017 is to clean my life up and eliminate toxic people from it. Remember, giving someone a second chance is forgiveness, giving someone a third and fourth chance that they don’t deserve is insanity. I love this song because it displays the sentiment of a toxic person. This band is so awesome and I’m convinced they’re gonna make it big this year. They have a super cool 1975 vibe, while still being totally unique and true to themselves. Chris has such a sultry voice, and i love Ryan’s bass and Sam’s drums. Aaron’s guitar riff in this song is so intoxicating (ironically) and catchy. I constantly get this song stuck in my head.

baltimore

Baltimore,  again.  8 AM, sweating, shaking  on the verge of puking up  stomach acid.  the car is dead silent.  are we early?  are they late?  is this how its going to be   forever?  who knows.  who cares.  i’ve been watching time  pass and slip through  the cracks between my fingers.  it seems more apparent  than usual.  we are parked at a gas pump.  each time i make eye contact  its quickly broken.  i know what they are thinking.  ‘what a shame.’  ‘my morning could be worse.’  maybe they even feel   gratitude.  as they finish filling up,  i watch them reach for   their phones.  i wonder if they are calling  their daughters and sons.  on the surface,  just to check in.  but inwardly,   thankful their children  aren’t heroin addicts.  no one wants their baby to grow up  to be  a junkie.  i steal a glance at my other half  she’s ill  but she’s beautiful.  she’ll feel better soon enough.  a young handsome black man  starts over  and my heart  skips a beat.  we exchange currency   for oblivion.  we drive away to find  somewhere to hit.  it feels like   my first kiss.  i can’t remember what makes me happy anymore.  my happiness is   artificial  and fits nicely  in a syringe.  when i get on,  i can breathe again.   i melt into the passenger seat,  successful.  i watch her try to find a vein,  in and out of consciousness.  she’s millimeters away from getting well.  she’ll get there.  i let myself nod but  for a moment,   i wonder  what that young, handsome black man  wanted to be   when he grew up.  i guess it doesn’t matter.  everyone crosses paths at the bottom.

fun fact: 90% of internet discourse could be solved if we stopped generalizing when making statements

Piece Of Meat 🥩 (my toxic relationships music video)

bad boyfriend 🖤 (my toxic men music video)

Toxic Girl ❤️‍🔥 (my baddie poem reading and 2014 revival collage)

Excuse me, wtf is this shit?

What kind of fan is she?

Joel and the band don't deserve this. Get a grip, people.

Hey um guys, can we not do stuff like this? Please and thank you. The secondhand embarrassment is too much for me to handle.

SAVAGE LOVE

I'm a lover of all things BTS and when they released the remix with Jason Derulo i was so excited not because i liked the original song. I had never heard it actually but because i really loved all the vocals on this tracks blended together. JD, JK, Suga, JHope everyone was just amazing.

I just wanted to talk about the meaning of the song though because like everything BTS they all relay a deeper meaning behind the vocals and sweet melody. Talking about how you can use me, eventhough you don't want me because i can not let you go. I found out you are dating me as a revenge plan for your ex and stuff. You don't give a what when we kissing and stuff.

Please!!!!

If i find out someone was doing that to me i ain't staying for that toxic love. I realised the guy i once dated was heartbroken by his ex girlfriend because he was once poor. So he just started using women after that. I had no idea and here i come an innocent girl trying to be bad for the first time. I had learnt to masturbate for the first time like 2 months before i visited this guy. Still i had not orgasmed. Well i was a virgin and had no idea what an orgasn felt like tbh.

So this guy then had sex with me and decided i was not his idea of a virgin because i did not bleed and did not discuss with me. So he started using me for sex without discussing it with me. All along i thought we would get married. Until he organized an outing with his friends and introduced me as his friend and introduced another girl as his "girlfriend" then he said "nope i cant say that really, maybe friends with benefits, that is the correct term" and they laughed. I was gutted. 🥺😭😭

I clearly heard the message and being faraway from home i just packed my bags and decided i was done and went back on my way. Its so sad though it still took me another 3 or 4 sexual encounters after that to eventually let go of that relationship completely. But i would never be able to let someone use me ever again. Knowing they have issues from their past relationship is a red flag and issa cause for me to run for cover, been burnt, ouch!!!!

I really do not regret having sex with him for I really learnt a lot from that experience. I almost killed myself too. I took 16 pills and tried to sleep and never wake up but God woke me up 😀😀😀 and i guess its something i will never try ever again. However if i were to do it all over again i would do it differently this time. I will never date the same guys i dated and i will take my time and be a totally different person this time around.

I will always want to count myself lucky and blessed that i did not get any infections f4om that loser for he insisted on not using protection and stuff🥺🙄🙄🙄 i was whipped and dumb and stupid now that i look back i see that I can not believe i was ever that kind of person. Grace covered and protected me i guess.

I hope someone gets encouraged by my stupid story filled with stupid decisions.....

As always i will keep holding on...

Until then 💋💋💋🤗🤗🤗

My narcissistic, abusive, super religious mother once told me that me being raped was my fault because I had led him on....by holding his hand.

The Narcissist's Masquerade

In love's twisted labyrinth, shadows conspire,

A false Cupid, cloaked in dark attire.

With whispers sweet and arrows of black,

He ensnares hearts, never looking back.

Beneath his mask of angelic guise,

Lurks a soul consumed by cunning lies.

His words, like daggers, cut deep and cold,

Leaving wounds that never grow old.

He weaves a web of manipulation's art,

Playing with emotions, tearing souls apart.

Each vow of love, a twisted refrain,

Leading lovers to sorrow, to endless pain.

His arrows pierce, not with love's sweet kiss,

But with venomous poison, leaving hearts amiss.

He twists and turns, with deceitful grace,

Leaving behind a bitter, empty space.

Beware the Cupid with wings of night,

For his love is but a poisonous blight.

In his embrace, there's only despair,

A haunting echo of a love unfair.

Free At Last

The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow across my room. I lay there for a moment, savoring the quiet, the stillness, the absence of dread. For the first time in a long while, I felt at peace. This was freedom, a feeling I had almost forgotten.

My journey to this point was anything but smooth. For years, I had been ensnared in a web of toxic relationships that had drained my energy and distorted my sense of self. Friends who thrived on drama, a partner whose every word was a calculated blow to my self-esteem, and family members who viewed my boundaries as a personal affront. Each day felt like a battle for survival, where merely getting through was the goal.

The decision to cut these people out of my life didn’t come easy. It was a gradual realization, creeping in through the cracks of countless sleepless nights and anxiety-ridden days. I remember staring at my reflection one evening, the weight of constant stress etched into my features. That’s when I knew something had to change. I couldn't keep living in survival mode.

The process was painful. There were heated arguments, accusations, and tears. My phone buzzed less and less as I distanced myself from those who brought nothing but negativity into my life. At times, the silence was deafening, and I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. Was it really worth the isolation?

But slowly, as the days turned into weeks, I began to notice a change. The constant tightness in my chest started to loosen. I no longer woke up dreading the day ahead. Instead, I felt a growing sense of lightness, of possibility. I began to reclaim pieces of myself that had been lost in the chaos.

I started each day with a simple ritual: a cup of tea on my porch, watching the world come alive. No rush, no immediate demands. Just me, my thoughts, and the soft morning breeze. I rediscovered hobbies I had abandoned—hiking, reading, writing—and found joy in these small, quiet moments. They were mine, untouched by the toxicity that had once consumed my life.

I found myself laughing more, genuinely enjoying conversations with new friends who brought positivity and support into my life. These relationships were based on mutual respect and understanding, not manipulation or control. It was a stark contrast to what I had known, and it felt like stepping into the sunlight after years spent in a dark room.

One evening, as I sat on a park bench watching the sunset, I realized just how far I had come. The vibrant colors painted across the sky felt like a celebration of my newfound freedom. I was no longer in survival mode, constantly bracing for the next attack. I was living, truly living, and it was a revelation.

In this new space, free from toxic influences, I could breathe. I could dream again, set goals, and work towards them without the constant drag of negativity pulling me down. I learned to trust myself, to value my own worth, and to surround myself with people who uplifted and inspired me.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow over everything, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I had fought hard to remove the toxicity from my life, and the reward was more than I had ever imagined. I was no longer a prisoner to the demands and manipulations of others. I was free to be myself, to pursue my dreams, and to live a life that was truly my own.

For the first time, I understood what it meant to thrive, not just survive. I had reclaimed my life from those who sought to control it, and in doing so, I had discovered a world of possibilities. This was my life, and I intended to live it fully, joyfully, and without apology.

The Fragile Thread: Can Trust Be Restored After Betrayal?

Can trust be restored once it's broken, or is it forever damaged? This question lingers in the hearts and minds of many who have experienced betrayal. Trust, the fragile thread that binds relationships, can be ripped to pieces in an instant but takes a lifetime to build. When that bond is broken, the pain and disillusionment can feel insurmountable, leading one to wonder if the pieces can ever be put back together.

Rebuilding trust requires immense effort from both parties. It demands honesty, transparency, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. The one who broke the trust must show genuine remorse and a commitment to change, while the one who was betrayed must find the strength to forgive and the patience to rebuild. This process is neither quick nor easy; it is fraught with setbacks and requires continuous effort and reassurance.

However, some believe that once trust is broken, it can never truly be restored. The shadow of doubt lingers, and the fear of being hurt again can overshadow any attempts at reconciliation. The relationship, though it may continue, is forever altered, marked by an invisible scar that serves as a constant reminder of the past. Trust, once lost, might be irreparably damaged, leaving both parties to navigate a new, uncertain dynamic.

Ultimately, whether trust can be fully restored or remains forever fractured depends on the individuals involved and the depth of the betrayal. Some relationships emerge stronger, having faced and overcome their darkest moments. Others, however, may find that the chasm created by broken trust is too wide to bridge, leading them to part ways or redefine their connection. The answer lies not in a universal truth, but in the unique journey of each relationship.

my love i am sorry i was mad at first figuring it was the usual dramatics but i was wrong this was important to you and i refused to see that just because i did not value it did not mean that you shared my sentiments you cared and i did not you deserve more respect than i gave you i may not have understood the matter but i could at least have respected it.