Negativity Cw - Tumblr Posts

mood of today yall

Me: I’ll draft replies on Sunday!

Sunday: *slinks back to bg3*

Anyone want an ask or plotting something??

✚ Little Freak｡ 

A flag for age regressors who view themselves as freaks due to negative regression and trauma.

Requested by : 🪽 Anon．

Being an older regressor sucks.

I hate that I'm twenty seven and feel unwelcome in my own community that I've been apart of since 2016.

It feels like everything is changing.

The people I love love each other but in dysfunctional ways.

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I feel like I’m learning that the surest way to maintain relationships is to not have needs, or to meet all my needs myself with tons of energy to spare. That way, I’ll never have to decide between meeting my needs or meeting someone else’s: I can choose the other person every time and they’ll never get hurt by me.

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Is it true that we are all giving at the expense of ourselves?

Are any relationships healthy if they involve caregiving?

Is a “healthy” relationship really just a false and ableist idea? Don’t we all ultimately have to compromise? To make do with what we have? To suffer a bit for the sake of others?

I don’t think there’s a way to have it all. Not anymore, at least. Not since what was too good to be true dissolved in front of my eyes.

I’m trying desperately to love my friends back together. And it’s not sustainable. But it has to be because this can’t fall apart. I can’t lose both of them. They’re my family.

I don’t know what to do, or what to think about my own future, the one I’m slipping towards where my condition worsens and I need physical caregiving support. I know I can’t count on anyone to be there for me. I can ask people for help, but I can’t expect them to help me. They’re not obligated to. At least according to my value system, they’re not.

I won’t tell my hypothetical partner they’re neglecting me, because I won’t rely on them for support. I’ve made up my mind. It’s not fucking happening. I’m gonna hustle til I die and the hustle will kill me and I’m just gonna have to accept that.

Fuck.