Oc: Freyja Storm Crown - Tumblr Posts

Ayo new batman just dropped

5'1 Freyja: Help! I'm drowning!

7'2 Miraak: Calm down it's only six feet of water

Freyja: NOT EVERYONE IS TALL

Miraak: Freyja, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Freyja, naked in Miraak's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Miraak, taking off his clothes: Fuck...me neither

*While planning to break in somewhere* Miraak: Hey, let's do "Get Help!" Freyja: What? Miraak: "Get Help." Freyja: No. Miraak: C'mon, you love it! Freyja: I hate it. Miraak: It's great! It works every time! Freyja: It's humiliating. Miraak: Do you have a better plan? Freyja: No. Miraak: We're doing it! Freyja: We are not doing "Get Help!" *A Minute Later* Miraak, carrying Freyja: Get help! Please! My wife is dying! Help her! *throws Freyja at guards, knocking them out* Miraak: Ahh, classic! Freyja: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating. Miraak, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Miraak: Where are your parents? Freyja: What are parents? Miraak: That’s just about the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Freyja: You don't think I can fight because of my gender! Auri: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Inigo can fight in that dress either. Inigo: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

This but make it Miraak and Freyja

Freyja: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Alessia: *crouches down* Miraak: *kneels down* Kyra: *sits on the floor* Freyja: Freyja: I hate all of you.

Kyra: I sleep with a bow under my pillow. Alessia: I sleep with a knife. Freyja: Both of you are pathetic. Kyra: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Freyja: Miraak.

Miraak: For self-defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Kyra, Freyja, & Alessia: Okay. Miraak: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Kyra: Bold of you to assume I have money. Freyja: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Alessia: Bold of you to assume I can die.

Freyja: Miraak, we're hungry!

Kyra: Miraak! What's for dinner?

Alessia: We're hungry, Miraak!

Miraak, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Freyja: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Miraak: You are my reward. *meanwhile* Kyra: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Alessia: True, you can be really difficult at times.

Miraak: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Freyja: It was me... Miraak: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Miraak: You have to apologize to them Freyja. Freyja: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Miraak: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living I strike fear into- Freyja: You sleep with a teddy bear. Miraak: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Miraak: Freyja... you've been cuddling with me for over an hour now. Freyja: *muffled* mm hmmm :) Miraak: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

Miraak: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than driving people insane by buying heart-shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Freyja: I wrote you a poem. Miraak, already crying: You did?

Serana: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or are oranges called orange because oranges are orange? Alessia: Which came first, the orange or the orange? Miraak: Orange was first used to refer to the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago. Kyra: What was the color called before then? Freyja: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!