Ok Universe Lets Go - Tumblr Posts

2023 Manifestations:

1. To write my book where the MC is a female of Southeast Asian heritage (cause I have read enough novels without any)

2. For tumblr pornbots to STOP following me 🙅🏻‍♀️- I’m nothing but an innocent soul….😬 (lol)

3. For CLEARER career directions please, I can’t even navigate the city I’ve lived my whole life in without purely using landmarks as my guide; so imma need a bit more clarity thank you

Now, is always the best time to start.

I am a bit off my rocker 80% of the time, but -

I will be strong and confident. I have no choice 😀

I am 2 years into my dream career as a professional athlete, and quite frankly, I am surprised I have made it this far.

Not because I have achieved anything great, no. But more so I feel like I’ve been living on the precipice of insanity and depression (legit) everyday since I’ve arrived here.

I came from a very elite level in my sport in my home country, and was suppose to be a “big fish in a little pond” when I entered into the current league I am playing in. But I feel as though I am the worst athlete I’ve ever been here, and that I am sliding down this slippery slope to only getting worse.

My teammates don’t really like/respect me as an athlete, and are not supportive.

My confidence has been at an all-time low in my career for the past year and a half.

I do not feel as though I am improving

I feel ashamed that I am not better at my job when people had such high expectations of me coming in

I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of opportunities

I don’t want to be a cloud of sadness, and I try so hard not to fixate on the negativity of my situations but it’s all-consuming.

I genuinely desire to enjoy and grow my career while I still can, but I feel as though I am at the end of my rope mentally.

So I reach out to you oh, great tumblr community — who has been my safe haven since middle school (over a decade ago) — what advice/words of empowerment can you give this lowly athelte?

I feel as though I have read every mental psyche book, listen to every psychologist’s podcast; did every meditation and yoga seminar available to bring me to my “center”/inner peace; I have spoken to my coaches, friends, family etc. I have been searching everywhere for an answer but am still coming up on empty about what’s truly wrong with me.

I love my job so so much, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to play the sport that I have loved since I was a child; having the chance to live out you lifelong dream/goal is a luxury that I know many don’t get to have. So that’s why I just need a bit of help.

I hope this reaches the right people because I truly want to move onwards and upwards.

Please send good vibes, or ominous positivity if you have any.

Thank you❤️