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I don't think I can add anything that these tags don't already. I'm a big sucker for fics that play up Seungmin's calculating intelligence

dim lights (work nights)

synopsis: work party. seungmin is a suit. a glass of wine. oh, you are so done.

pairing: lawyer!seungmin x fem!reader

genre: workplace romance, fluff, teensy angst

warnings: drinking, punching jokes, swearing

word count: 1.2k words

a/n: been in my drafts for like a week hehe. suit seungmin has me screaming. anyways, enjoy and pls drop any and all feedback!

"I'll be charging ten dollars to punch him in the face, upon your generous request," murmured a low voice tantalizingly close to your ear.

You scoffed, "The things I want to do to Davies go far beyond a modest punch to the face. Those things could get me in jail."

One arm across your waist and the other's elbow propped upon your hand, you turned to face the owner of the honeyed voice that just offered you an extremely lucrative deal moments. Swirling around the remaining wine in your wine glass, you studied Kim Seungmin as he studied you.

"In that case," Seungmin sighed, "You'll have to pay my legal consultancy fees which, I'm afraid is far higher."

A laugh bubbled from your lips as Seungmin smirked at your rage. Watching one of the many people you were currently pitted against for a promotion kissing up to your boss made anger blossom within you. Then again, you weren't exactly known for being the most level-headed lawyer employed at the Prescott, Park and Daley Legal Firm.

But you, along with Seungmin, were known for being the best.

You offered Seungmin eyes that reflected betrayal. "I thought you would bail me out for free. I thought we were friends," you chastised.

"We most definitely are not friends, darling," said Seungmin smugly.

A smirk was forming on his lips and an eyebrow was ticked up. You felt yourself being stripped bare under his piercing gaze and flirtatious smile. Oh how he loved torturing you.

You caught your lip between your teeth to drink him in, deciding to conveniently ignore the fact that your teeth were currently in the process of being stained by your dark red lipstick. Seungmin's hair was styled to perfection, his skin was glowing and his eyes stayed on you as if you were a person he wished to learn every fold of. His three-piece suit was tailored to perfection and hugged his body perfectly.

You looked away and hoped he attributed your flushed face to the wine you were drinking. He was right though. You and Seungmin were not friends, not in the conventional sense. It was more of a situation where being paired up so much over the seven years that you spent at the firm caused to the two of you to become comfortable in each other's presence.

Both you having graduated top of your class from law school (you went to Harvard Law while Seungmin opted for Princeton), you both joined the law firm at the same time, full of dreams and aspirations. At first, you both considered one another as rivals. Constantly being compared truly made you inhibit a sort of begrudging sense of dislike towards him.

However, working your first together, truly made you realize how he was actually a very caring person. Seungmin constantly knew what to say to you without even saying anything. He brought you food and made you ramen after he found out your extreme affection towards the Korean delicacy.

You and Seungmin, however, came from strikingly different backgrounds. Seungmin lived comfortably and had a wealthy upbringing, which caused people to often underestimate his hard work. You went to school on an eighty percent scholarship but still worked three jobs to pay of your student loan, causing people to often very offensively doubt your etiquette.

You heard the rumors about rich kid Seungmin during your initial weeks at the firm. Allegedly (you are a lawyer, of course you use the word allegedly more than any other word over), he lived in a high rise apartment with so many floors that a helicopter, a fucking helicopter,crashed into the side of it.

You took extreme pride in being the only one to know that this was, in fact, true, as confirmed by the man himself.

Forcing your eyes to go back to Seungmin, your gaze sat on the horrendous lump which he called his 'tie'.

"It's on wrong," you remarked, motioning towards Seungmin's tie. He gave you shrug. "Fix it for me?"

You set down your now empty glass on the sleek granite table and the private restaurant lounge your colleagues and high playing clients were currently in. The low jazz music and soft lighting gave the entire room an ambience of romance. This was only heightened by Seungmin's sudden desire to covertly flirt with you.

Reaching around his neck to undo his tie, you never broke eye contact with him. You could feel his gaze start from your eyes and trail all the way down to your black stilettoes. He had a faint smile on his face. So he likes what he sees?

Finishing with a scoff, you send him away with a pat on his arm in a futile attempt to diffuse the tiny fireworks that were popping all over your body. Seungmin disappeared into the crowd to socialize, leaving you his scent surrounding your very being.

Grabbing another drink (a mojito), you walked over to the table where Seungmin's paralegal, Hyunjin, sat scrolling on his phone. Both of you being ambiverts who leaned more towards the introverted side, you both often found yourself sitting at the quiet people table in silence.

You could see Hyunjin's welcoming eyes move from you to somewhere behind you, morphing into one of distaste. You followed his line of sight to find your paralegal, Yeji, downing shots like her life depended on it. Although Hyunjin loved his cousin, he wouldn't be caught dead doing the things she did.

"You're painfully fond of him," started Hyunjin in mock annoyance, "It's disgusting."

You rolled your eyes at him and gave him a light slip. Hyunjin dramatically feigned pain and pushed a plate of food towards you. Your stomach rumbling as if on cue, you pounced on the food and relished it. That was one good thing about these corporate meetings; they had free food, at least as far as girl logic went.

Finishing up with a satisfied sigh, you looked up only to lock eyes with a notorious Mr. Peterson, a heavily disliked client who loved hitting on women. The bartender, Chan, offered you a sympathetic smile and slid you a shot of tequila.

"You're gonna need it," he said pitifully, patting your hand twice for reassurance.

Suppressing the urge to slap the now emerging Mr. Peterson and plastering on a fake smile, you turned to face the cause of your sorrow. The short, balding man's attempt at making any nonsensical, non-professional conversation was shot down by you quickly. You waved around your hand around, hoping he would take note of the large diamond ring that sat nestled in you finger.

You hoped he would take the hint about your marital status. You were loyal to your husband to a fault. Behind you, a Kim Seungmin watched you in amusement. You felt both sadness and anger seep into you. Sadness because he wasn't near you and anger because you were left alone to deal with a human shaped insolence.

Finally escaping from the clutches of Mr. Peterson grubby hands, you put your head down on the cold marble slab. Your hands held your heels and your head was already pounding from the effects of alcohol. Behind you, you heard a laugh that you knew unmistakable belonged to Seungmin. Turning around, you came face to face with a seemingly put together and knowingly exhausted Seungmin.

"Working hours are over," you said wearily.

"So?" came Seungmin's dry response.

You held your arms up like a child. "So, would you like to carry your extremely drunk yet adorably lovable wife home?"

Seungmin pressed a kiss to your forehead and duly obliged.

main taglist (reply to be added) - @linoalwaysknows

Ahhh I can't believe this is over... I loved it so much!!!

What's your fanfic fantasy? part 14 CONCLUSION

Chapter Contents.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 // Part 11 // Part 12 // Part 13 // Part 14 //

Premise: fem reader + Chan + Jisung 18+ fanfic. This is an AU story about Chan bringing your fantasies to life... but what happens when boyfriends Chan and Han fall in love with you?

Chapter Summary: Another threesome...

a/n: this is it. the final chapter. I want to thank everyone who has followed this fic and the journey of y/n, chan, and jisung. I hope you enjoyed the other characters and what amazing friends they are helping her out like they did.

This chapter is pure smut. (All the other chapters were too, I suppose) but this is just because I wanted to see our three main characters together.

Warnings: threesome, vaginal sex, anal sex, double pen two holes, m x m x f, oral sex, coercion, I don’t even know anymore! But if you’ve read up to this point you will be fine.

Y/n pov.

You wake up with your limbs wrapped around a body. You’re exhausted but as soon as you remember where you are and whose bodies are lying beside you, you’re newly energised. You’re here with your two loves. Jisung, who you’re clinging to like a koala, and Chan spooning you from behind. A smile appears across your face. This is what it feels like to wake up with them?

You gaze at Jisung, who looks peaceful, and beautiful, as he sleeps. Your mind drifts back to the night before, to his confession. He’s loved you all this time? You that thought sit with you as you recall some of the awkward encounters he and you have had over that time. Or the moments where his gaze would linger a little too long. You had never really paid attention to it. Your mind was always on Chan. But what had changed this week to make you see Jisung in a different way? Perhaps because you could fantasise about the other band members and not him it meant you had somehow blocked in him from your mind? Maybe deep down you knew you liked him but thought that would make you feel confused about your feelings for Chan? Who knows?

But then the way he looked at you the other night, it tore down any blocks or barricades you had up between you and him. Jisung claimed you that night. He must have been terrified to finally touch you?

You feel a stirring behind you. Chan adjusting his hips and pressing his morning erection against your ass. Oh! to have finally felt Chan inside of you! It was more than you could’ve ever have imagined. He was absolutely fucking perfect. Just the right balance of tender and brutal.

And now you’re horny.

You wriggle your ass back against Chan and his hand is quick to grip your hip, pulling you back hard against him. His mouth finds the sensitive part of your neck and kisses you tenderly.

“Good morning, my beautiful.” He whispers, and it’s almost like he can’t believe you’re really here. After a few minutes of gentle caressing, he leans up on an elbow so he can see over you. “Isn’t Ji just so perfect when he’s asleep?” he grins.

“So you’re saying he’s not perfect when he’s awake?” You joke.

“Ha fucking ha. No,” his expression turns loving “he gets really anxious and stressed. He doesn’t always show it, but it’s there. When he’s asleep, he looks peaceful.”

Chan’s right. Jisung does look perfect when he’s asleep.

“Do you think he’s excited for a threesome?” You ask, turning your head back to look at Chan.

“I think he’s going to lose his shit.” Chan chuckled.

“Should we suck him off together? To wake him up?” You ask lightheartedly.

Jisung’s eyes fling open “Yes!!! Yes please!” He says eagerly.

Chan laughs “You fucking little piece of shit. How long have you been awake?”

Jisung feigns innocence. “Not long… Something about a threesome woke me.” He says shyly.

“Well, Jisung, Channie and I wanna suck your cock… if you’ll let us.” You coo.

Jisung throws the sheet off his body to reveal his hard on. His dick is absolutely perfect. Chan wastes no time to climb over to him and nestle between his legs. You’ve seen Jisung suck Chan’s cock, but not Chan sucking Jisung’s. Your eyes widen. Chan takes Jisung in his hand and kitten licks the tip, then looks up at Jisung lovingly. You wonder if Chan gets rough Jisung like he did with you in the tub last night? Jisung let’s out a whimper as Chan licks him from the base to the tip. You feel yourself getting wet and you’re compelled to join in pleasuring Jisung. Your Jisung.

You position yourself down beside Chan and together you tend to Jisung. You both lick up the side of his shaft, your mouths meeting at the tip. You kiss messily with the head of Jisung’s dick still between you, your tongues and lips and Jisung’s cock all intertwined. You keep stroking his cock and Jisung is almost crying in pleasure. You continue like this, sloppily making out around Jisung’s penis, until Jisung interrupts you both.

“Channie…” Jisung sounds delirious.

“What is it, my love?” Chan replies, breaking from your kisses.

“I… I … wannna…” he stutters.

“You need to use words, Sungie.” Chan encourages.

“I wanna… can I… fuck you this time Channie?” his voice is small.

Your eyes grow wide and you look to Chan. “I so want to see that.” You whisper and bite your lip.

Chan smirks at you and looks down at Jisung “Of course you can fuck me. I love the way you feel inside me.”

Your vagina clenches at Chan’s words and at the thought of what is about to happen.

The men re-arrange themselves so Chan is laying on the bed and Jisung is kneeling between Chan’s legs.

“Can you pass me the lube, baby… bedside table.” Jisung instructs as he gives Chan’s cock some attention.

“Fuck, Jisung! God. Your mouth.” Chan chokes.

You watch as Jisung expertly works on prepping Chan. He is so confident with his lover, reading Chan’s body language and responses, and knowing when to add another finger. Chan’s abdominals tense and relax as the pleasure builds. He closes his eyes as his breath becomes more rapid and he sucks in his lip. Jisung’s eyes are hooded and full of a mix of admiration and lust, as he switches his gaze back and forth between Chan’s entrance and his face.

The pair look so in love and this feels so intimate. Part of you feels like maybe you shouldn’t be watching and you’re not sure what to do.

“Y/n,” Jisung says low “Kiss Chan for me.”

They haven’t forgotten about you. You lean in on all fours and take Chan into a kiss. He moans into your mouth and his hand finds your ass. He grips it hard making you yelp slightly and his fingers move to your soft wet folds. You crave for him to put his fingers inside you, and when he does, you let out a long low moan. The stretch feels like relief.

Chan peels his mouth away. “You’re cunt is addicted to being fucked isn’t it.” He breaths.

“Channie,” you moan. “You say such dirty things, you know that, right?” You sit up and take in the view in front of you. Jisung is lining his cock up to Chan’s entrance and you glance back at Chan’s needy expression. “I think you need something to keep that mouth of yours quiet.” You say to him as you climb over and straddle his face so you’re facing Jisung.

“Oh. God. Yes… sit on my face babygirl.” Chan growls and with an arm around each of your thighs he pulls you down over his face.

“That’s so fucking hot.” Jisung murmers.

Chan’s wet tongue devours you from below, as you watch Jisung slowly thrust into Chan. Chan moans and it sends vibrations through you, making you gasp. You lean forward to take hold of his cock. It’s rock hard and straining. Pre-cum oozes from the tip. Jisung strokes your hair affectionately and cups your face so you’re looking at him. The way he looks at you makes your heart melt and you smile. “You’re so pretty, y/n” he whispers.

You look down to watch Jisung’s beautiful cock slide in and out of Chan. It is the most graphic sight you’ve ever seen, and it almost makes you come right then. You breathe deeply trying to steady yourself and hold off uour rapidly approaching orgasm. You want this to last forever.

“Fuck, Channie. You take Jisung’s cock so well. I didn’t know you were such a cock slut.” You tease. “I thought you you were a dom. But judging by this scenario… I am not quite sure.”

“Y/n,” Jisung pants as his thrusts become more forceful. “I need you to ride Chan’s cock while I’m fucking him. Can you do that for me?”

You raise an eyebrow and look cheekily at Jisung before spinning yourself around so you’re facing Chan and straddling his torso. He looks so fucked out he can’t even speak. He’s just moaning and whining as Jisung slowly fucks him to death.

“That’s it baby. Back yourself up a little.” Jisung’s hands are on your hips, guiding you back to line up with Chan’s cock. Jisung holds the base steady as you lower yourself down, taking Chan all at once. You’re still sore from the day before, but you don’t care.

Chan let’s out a choked cry. “F—fuckkkkk!” he cries as you lean over him and push back against his cock.

Jisung wraps his hands around you, and leans over your back. His skin is sticky with sweat. You can feel his heart pounding. You feel safe. This is where you belong. Jisung’s breath is on your neck and you’re overwhelmed with emotion as you both fuck Chan together.

The reality of this precious moment hits you and so does your orgasm. Your body stiffens as the tension inside you snaps, making you see stars. “I’ve got you, baby.” Jisung whispers, as both their hands hold onto you as you ride out the orgasm.

You lift your head to look down at Chan who looks at you with blown out eyes before he captures you in a kiss.

Jisung grips your hips, digging his fingers into you as he directs you up and down Chan’s cock. “Fuck you should see the view I have right now.” He says in disbelief. You can only imagine what it must look like for Jisung, looking down to see his own cock fucking Chan, and Chan’s cock fucking you all at once.

Chan’s hands slide down your body to cup your ass, pulling the cheeks apart. It is then I feel something cold on your hold. Lube. Jisung massages a lubed finger against you, making you to gasp with pleasure. Then a finger slips inside. Very slowly. Very carefully. You seem to be lost in pleasure because before you know it, Jisung has two fingers inside of you. One of your favourite things is to have a finger or two in your ass while you’re being fucked, but you want more. You want both men inside you.

Then you feel it. Jisung’s cock against you.

“Have you ever done this before? Take two cocks at once?” Chan whispers. You shake your head. “Only one in the vagina and one in the mouth… I have had anal before…but I’m nervous.” You say wide eyed. He pulls me close.

“It’s okay. We’ve got you. Jisung’s really careful. He knows what to do.” Chan’s words alone make you relax. You trust them. You love them.

“Oh my God, baby. You look so inviting.” Hums Jisung as the tip of his cock prods you. “I know you’re going to take this so well.” He places a hand on your hip and guides his cock into you. “Good girl.”

“Oh… fu-” you gasp. You had not prepared yourself for the feeling of two penises inside you. Jisung inches in bit by bit, allowing you time to adjust before moving any further. The sensations are a mix of a burning pain, a stretching feeling, pleasure, need, relief. Every time Jisung stops, you whimper for more. Finally he is all the way inside.

“Ughh… you’re so tight around me.” Grunts Chan. “I need to fuck you so bad. Will you be a good girl and take it? Even if it hurts?” Chan’s words echo the previous night when he became aggressive in the sexiest way. Your vagina clenches around Chan’s cock. He smirks “You like that thought, hmm?”

“Hyung, I don’t want to hurt her?” Jisung pipes up.

“It’s okay, Jisung. I like it… want you to be rough with me… please.” You feel so fucking needy right now that you beg them to start fucking you.

The men start off slow, alternating turns in thrusting into you, then begin to quicken the pace. Moans, whimpers, grunts and cries fill the room as they fuck you faster, harder. Eventually, Jisung lays over your back, pressing you against Chan, and Chan’s arm wraps around both you and Jisung. You bury your head in Chan’s neck, making space for the pair to kiss each other. They start to time their thrusts so they are slamming into you at the same time. You come again, practically screaming this time, as you clench hard around their cocks.

“Oh fuck, did you feel that Ji?” Chan gasps.

Jisung nods “Oh my God, I’m gonna cum.” And with a few more thrusts you feel his release inside of you.

Chan finally lets go too. You don’t know how he’s even managed to hold off coming for this long. You feel him pulse as he ejaculates, for what seems like forever, deep inside your cunt.

But there is no time for rest. Jisung swiftly pulls out, making you shudder and lays on his back on the bed. “Quick. Baby. Sit on my face.” He says urgently. “Hurry! Before the cum seeps out.”

What? You’re taken by surprise at the request, but quickly do as he says, straddling his face the same as you did for Chan.

“Thats’s it baby. Good girl. Yes like that.” He pulls you down so his mouth is buried in your pussy ready to catch the leaking cum.

“Fuck! Jisung. That visual alone is making me hard again.” Chan exclaims. You turn to him to see him stroking his rapidly re-hardening cock. You can feel the cum leaking out of both holes and Jisung uses a finger to help bring down his own cum to mix with Chan’s. Your pussy is so sensitive and overstimulated, but Jisung isn’t about to let you go. It’s like he needs this to stay alive. He licks and sucks the cum that is leaking from you, the tip of his tongue dipping into your cunt to scoop out as much as possible. Fuck! It feels good though, and you start to grind down on Jisung’s face. Your gaze falls on his cock. It’s still rock hard, and you lean down to suck on it. Jisung moans into your pussy sending shock waves through me.

Chan shuffles down to sit next to Jisung’s hips so that their cocks are close to each other, and you alternate taking their dicks into my mouth. You take them as deep as you can, forcing yourself not to gag. You swirl your tongue around both their tips at the same time, whilst simultaneously stroking their cocks.

“Fuck.” They keep crying as you try to give them the best blow job of their lives. But an idea hits you. You pull off both cocks and look at Chan whose expression is one of agony. “I want to watch you fuck Jisung.”

————————

Chan lines his now generously lubed cock with Jisung’s ass.

“He doesn’t need prepping, he likes the stretch.” Chan explains, when he sees the shocked look on your face.

Jisung takes him so easily. Chan has the biggest dick you’ve ever seen, and seeing it disappearing and reappearing out of Jisung’s ass is amazing. He picks up the pace quickly and it isn’t long until he is pounding into Jisung brutally. They seem to be able to go forever. Jisung’s sounds of pleasure hit you in the pussy over and over and you feel delirious. You keep pumping Jisung’s cock until he is painting your breasts with cum.

“I love you Channie.” Cries Jisung as he comes.

“Fuck!!” cries Chan, Jisung’s words of love sending him over the edge, and he pulls out to paint your face in ropes of cum.

You all separate and lay on your backs panting and catching your breaths. That was the wildest sex you’d ever had. These men will be the death of you. Your mind is blank as you bask in post sex, post orgasm bliss. You’re brought back to reality when you feel a someone move between your legs, hands pushing your legs apart, a mouth landing on your pussy and another one on your mouth.

Jisung kisses you slowly and explores your mouth with his lips and tongue. The taste of him is a culmination of my wetness, both men’s cum, lube, and Jisung’s saliva. You wrap your arm around his neck and pull him deeper into the kiss. He melts into it, giving you everything you need in this moment.

You feel Chan’s tongue against you and you flinch. “Baby, I can’t take any more. I’m too sensitive. Can’t.” You beg him stop.

Chan grips your thighs harder and looks up. “You can take it. You are our good girl aren’t you?” he says sternly and you clench around nothing. You continue to protest.

“Shhh…. Baby.” Coos Jisung. He leans up and gazes at you, cupping your cheek and placing little pecks along your jaw. You feel as though Jisung is going to side with you and tell Chan that you need a break.

“Y/n, baby.” He starts again. “I know you can take just a little bit more.” He kisses your mouth. “You still need to feel what it’s like to have Channie fuck your ass.” There is eagerness in Jisung’s eyes, like you’re about to experience the best feeling in the world. Something that only Jisung and you get to share.

You stare at Jisung wide eyed. “But he’s so big! I’m not sure I -” Jisung puts two fingers to your mouth to hush you, while Chan digs two fingers into my pussy causing you to moan.

“Channie, she might really need a break.” Jisung decides and looks to Chan.

“Wait!” You interject. “No. I want to. I’m okay. I want to feel what its’ like.”

Jisung smiles. “Okay. But let me clean all this cum off you first.” He disappears into the bathroom.

“Are you sure, y/n?” Chan is at your side. It’s his turn to kiss you deeply. “Yes.” You whisper as you break the kiss.

“Okay, let’s try it like this.” He positions himself behind you, spoon position, and you feel his hardness against you as he caresses your waist and hips.

Jisung returns with a wet cloth and proceeds to wipe the drying cum off your chest and face. “Fuck, baby. I can’t believe your ours.” He grins as he settles down in front of you. You are now back to the position you were in when you woke this morning.

“I’m just going to lube up okay.” Chan says, before you feel his thick head push against you. You’re not sure how you’re going to manage after being fucked so much.

Jisung catches your expression and holds you close to him, turning himself so his body is facing yours. “You’re gonna love this y/n.” He promises you. “I’ve got you.” He whispers.

Chan stretches you and fills you slowly, bit by bit. And it feels incredible. You welcome everything that Chan has to give you, be it pleasure or pain. Fuck, part of you likes it even better when it hurts!

“Baby- fuuuu-… Oh fuck!” Chan bottoms out and immediately starts to fuck you. You can tell something has snapped in him again, like the evening before. It’s almost like you bring some wild beast of out him. You see a flicker of confusion on Jisung’s face, and you realise that Chan mustn't be this rough with him. You reach out and cup Jisung’s face. “It’s amazing.” You tell him, and his face softens.

Chan is grunting and growling as he slams into you over and over, but the more you look at Jisung, the more you want him too.

“Chan?” you say. Chan slows his movements.

“Yes, beautiful?” he kisses your sweat sheened neck.

“I want both of you again.”

“You’re addicted to both our cocks, yeah?” Chan chuckles. “Okay, let’s make that happen.” He holds onto you as he rolls onto his back, so he is slightly propped up against the headboard and you’re laying against him with his cock still inside you. Jisung is quick to hover over you, his dick ready to penetrate you. He folds your legs up against your chest, which makes Chan’s cock slip even deeper inside you. With one hand balanced on Chan’s shoulder, Jisung squeezes his cock into your very sensitive, very aroused, but very swollen, cunt. Jisung’s breath is strained as he pushes inside. “Fuck this is the tightest you’ve felt…” You hold onto his waist and pull him against you as best you can given the position you’re in.

You think they’re going to fuck you into oblivion, but instead they slow the pace right down. They move together in a tortuously slow rhythm, never picking up the pace, never thrusting any harder. Just rocking themselves gently inside of you.

Chan squeezes your neck gently whilst nuzzling into your shoulder and whispering how much he loves you. Jisung kisses you, breathing heavily into your mouth. He gathers some saliva and pushes it into your mouth, then continues to kiss you tenderly. Chan’s other hand caresses your body, oftentimes reaching up to hold Jisung against you.

You start to lose yourself to the moment, losing track of time and your surroundings. You no longer know where each of you begins or finishes. You don’t know who is causing what sensations, or who is making what sound.

You close your eyes and let yourself go as Chan and Jisung take you to some place you’ve never been before. A place just for the three of you. A place you know you will never want to leave.

The end.

A/n: as I was re editing this I realise some of the positions might have been a little far reaching… but it’s fiction, right!

I hope you enjoyed this series my loves.

@rylea08 @channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @fun-fanfics @wolfennracha @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @rixenluv @piscesrising01 @lunearta @shltsnglggles @lilbabiebunni @jiminssluttyminx @armystay89 @krayzieestay @stellasays45 @hxnnielk @yaorzu-blog @anjian03 @tsunderelino @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @privhace @kyunchoni @writhingwrecked @kisses-too-the-moon @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @meilix @ismokeeweed @leftovercigarettes @galaxycatdrawz @grandma143 @teddy-stay

Agh, Mari, I don't even know where to begin.

You have broken me. You have made me cry. And you have fixed me.

This story confuses me in the greatest of ways. Least of which is the way that I have a deck of tarot cards sitting around that I purchased on a whim last fall.

Does everything truly happen for a reason - even if the reason is not readily apparent?

Love your work as always

- ❤️ Pali

petrichor | four of wands chapter five

pairing: witch!hyun x f!reader | wc: 51.9k | genre: adult/dark romance | warnings: angst ; religious bigotry ; severe parental abuse ; occult sciences/magick ; coming-of-age chapter ; suicidal thoughts/themes of suicide ; death and mourning, and more. This work contains explicit sexual content and is strictly for adult audiences. ⚠️ caution: this chapter contains sensitive topics and (very) dark themes. please read the full list of warnings if you suspect such content could upset you. another, less exhaustive list of warnings is also available if you would rather not be spoiled. please visit the series content warnings to access both. Reader discretion is advised.

The water was so close that Hyunjin could hear the ripples of the waves in detail but it was too dark to see it—when he looked past the tiny building, it looked like he was just staring at a vast empty space, which is to say, it felt just like staring into a mirror. 

When Hyunjin was twelve years old, he found a little puppy in a back alley as he was coming home from school, but that is not where his story begins.

His story also doesn’t begin when he was born or something like that—he would say that few things, not even his existence, actually mattered before he met Hye Sun. 

Hyunjin was nine years old when the Juns moved into his neighborhood and were welcomed into their church. He had many friends already, as Hyunjin had always been a lively and outgoing child, but he didn’t mind making more. The church would throw a big party whenever such an event took place, so it was with hands sticky from ice cream and many glasses of sweet lemonade into the afternoon that he was introduced to Hye Sun. 

“This is Hye Sun. She is the Juns’ daughter,” his mother told him, standing in between him and the new family. The party took place in the courtyard behind the church and the weather was nice. “Since the other children are a little older than you two, I assured the Juns that you would keep an eye on her and introduce her around.”

Hyunjin looked at the little girl standing in front of him. She was holding a mostly melted ice cream cone and wore a bright pink t-shirt, a blue skirt, and blue tights. She had pigtails and the elastics in her hair had little tigers on them. 

He looked at his mom—it wasn’t the first time she asked such things from him. Hyunjin might have been young but he knew why she did that, and it was because it made her, and Dad, look like they were kind and considerate people. Like they had raised their son not just right, but better than other people raised their children.

The other kids were a few years ahead of him but Hyunjin was wise for his age, so he got along with them just fine. “Hi,” he told Hye Sun, waving at her. “I’m Hyunjin.”

The little girl was shy. She tried to hide behind her mother, but she was pushed forward. “You go now, Hye Sun. They’ll be your new prayer group, so you have to get to know them.” 

Hyunjin couldn’t remember having been shy but he could understand how she felt. He would probably want to hide too if they took him out of his bedroom, his house, his city and his church and threw him in an entirely new place. 

He extended his hand for her to take. “Come, I’ll show you my secret spot and no one can bother us there.” 

Hye Sun stared at his hand and his face alternatively, once in a while looking at one of her parents. Ultimately, she took a step toward him, then another, and took his hand, not minding that it was a little sticky. 

They didn’t talk much at first. The secret spot was a narrow space between the church and the fence surrounding the courtyard. There was a dense forsythia at its end, offering cover. Nobody really bothered Hyunjin when he was here, and that day was no exception. He asked if she wanted lemonade or something and she said no, sitting near the bush, inspecting every branch carefully as if her life depended on it. Hyunjin gave her space, sitting on the other side, near the fence, watching the party through it. 

Some time passed, during which Father Yeon made an unofficial speech to a small group—which included Hyunjin’s and the girl’s parents—as to why it was important to create bonds between each other. Hyunjin wasn’t sure he understood everything he said—he was too young to comprehend those things, but old enough to know he would understand them someday. Father Yeon spoke of keeping an eye on each other but not in the sense Hyunjin would have thought. He couldn’t understand, but he was almost sure their priest was asking prominent members of the church to snoop on others.

Because sin was poison, and poison spread quickly—should it unfortunately leak within them, the stain would be difficult, perhaps impossible, to wash away. So it was best to eliminate the threat of it before it happened altogether.

» Read the full chapter on ao3. (you don't need an account to access it, just click the link!)

author's note: Where do I even begin? I suppose I should say thank you. It's always the first thing that comes to mind when I talk to my readers, whether it's individually through reblogs, asks, or DMs, or when I speak to all of you. Thank you for keeping my stories in your hearts like that. I feel a little stronger thanks to you guys. This chapter is very different than other things I've written. I'm becoming very close to writing in a 100% Unadulterated Mari™️ way and it makes me as excited as it makes me frightened! I do hope that despite all of this, you will find things to like in the chapter. At the very least, it should answer some questions. To no one's surprise, I'd like to extend a very heartfelt thank you to @cb97percent who has been an incredible help with this beast of a chapter, and who doesn't let my brain go in certain places. Thank you miss cb. So just that. Thank you. For keeping my stories alive with your hearts and your kindness.

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Hey y'all!

Check out this great Skz soulmate AU. Series is ongoing but I'm loving it

waiting for us ― a skz social media au.

pairing. OT8 x fem!reader synopsis. At age 16 you either get your soul mark (in the form of your soulmates name somewhere on your body) or you become a blank, someone who doesn't have a soulmate. You've long lost any semblance of hope or comfort in the magic of soulmates, despite the fact that you have 8 of them. genre. soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au + written parts, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut cw. swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, skz should be in horny jail, eventual smut (MDNI), domestic abuse, sexual assault/harassment, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal tendencies/thoughts, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, male x male relationships (skz are soulmates), polyamory, kms/kys jokes, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, lots of written parts, reader is really bad at feelings, ulzzang pics (this is more so to focus on the fashion), appearance of junhao, yeji and hyunjin are siblings, more to be added status: ongoing! / taglist: CLOSED! send an ask or sign up here to be on the waitlist wanna support my work? consider buying me a coffee.

yn's accounts | the boys chapter one. go to horny jail chapter two. sus chapter three. welcome home cheater chapter four. you come here often? chapter five. sk8er boi chapter six. just a coincidence chapter seven. soulmate tingle chapter eight. down bad chapter nine. avoidance chapter ten. feminine urges chapter eleven. the whole circus chapter twelve. fairy boy chapter thirteen. apologies chapter fourteen. simp behavior chapter fifteen. not slick chapter sixteen. scooby doo chapter seventeen. screwed over chapter eighteen. back off hoe chapter nineteen. the gig chapter twenty. the plan™ chapter twenty one. yn chapter twenty two. a chance chapter twenty three. good morning chapter twenty four. totally subtle chapter twenty five. opening up chapter twenty six. howls moving castle chapter twenty seven. a deal chapter twenty eight. girls daye chapter twenty nine. girl dinner chapter thirty. the clit chapter thirty one. knight in shining armor chapter thirty two. masterpieces chapter thirty three. #NPP chapter thirty four. beach episode chapter thirty five. in the rain chapter thirty six. rumours chapter thirty seven. laser tag chapter thirty eight. cat cafe chapter thirty nine. bruises chapter fourty. sunrise

waiting for us masterlist part 2!!!!

some loves

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.

word count: 6.9k

tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic

read it on ao3 | masterlist

a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.

Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.

He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.

“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”

“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”

“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”

“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”

“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”

“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.

“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”

Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.

There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.

“I’m in,” Chan agrees.

“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”

“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”

“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.

“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.

“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”

—

Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.

Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.

“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”

“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.

“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”

“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”

“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”

“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.

“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”

They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.

HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.

“Y/n,” Chan breathes.

You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”

Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.

It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.

It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.

Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.

As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.

You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.

“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.

“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”

Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.

“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”

The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.

The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.

You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.

It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.

Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.

“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”

You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.

“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”

“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”

You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.

“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.

“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.

Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.

Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.

—

Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.

That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.

In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.

The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.

Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.

Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.

When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.

“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”

Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.

“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.

Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”

“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”

“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”

“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”

“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”

“You didn’t hear what happened?”

“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.

“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”

“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”

“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”

“Please,” Chan pleads.

“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”

It suddenly clicks.

“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”

“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”

“But really, we were never-”

“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”

“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”

“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”

“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”

“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.

“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”

“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”

“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”

“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”

—

A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.

After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.

“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”

That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.

“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.

“What happened?” he prods.

“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”

“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.

“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”

Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.

“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.

“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.

“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”

“I- I don’t know.”

“What’s your gut feeling?”

“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”

“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”

Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.

“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”

“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”

“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”

As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.

At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.

“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”

Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.

Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.

[Received - 8:04pm]

Channie-oppa~

[Received - 8:04pm]

This is Y/nnie

[Received - 8:05pm]

Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/

[Received - 8:09pm]

But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?

Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.

[Sent - 8:10pm]

Hey Y/n!

[Sent - 8:11pm]

No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too

[Sent - 8:13pm]

I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ

[Received - 8:13pm]

Gangdong-gu?

[Received - 8:14pm]

Ohh JYPE

[Received - 8:14pm]

My bad, forgot that you guys moved

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Yeahhh

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry

[Received - 8:18pm]

Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

Wait, really?

[Sent - 8:18pm]

No no no, don’t take the subway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min

[Received - 8:19pm]

Wowow

[Received - 8:19pm]

Private driver?

[Received - 8:20pm]

You’re a real superstar now haha

[Sent - 8:21pm]

alsfjshkafs noooooooo

[Sent - 8:21pm]

It’s just faster

[Sent - 8:21pm]

and safer

[Received - 8:22pm]

I’m not complaining

[Received - 8:22pm]

but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you

[Received - 8:23pm]

If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭

[Sent - 8:24pm]

Knew it

[Sent - 8:25pm]

You’re just using me for my fame

[Received - 8:26pm]

Ah you got me this time

[Received - 8:26pm]

*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks

[Received - 8:27pm]

Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up

[Received - 8:27pm]

Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?

Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.

Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.

[Received - 8:32pm]

?? Speechless that I caught on?

[Received - 8:36pm]

I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped

[Received - 8:40pm]

Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked

[Received - 8:42pm]

It was nice knowing you I guess

When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.

[Sent - 8:53pm]

Sorry, lost track of time

[Sent - 8:53pm]

They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything

[Received - 8:54pm]

Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts

[Received - 8:55pm]

But thanks

[Received - 8:55pm]

Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?

[Received - 8:55pm]

I’m honoured

Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.

“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”

“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”

“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”

“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”

“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.

“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”

“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”

“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”

“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”

“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”

“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”

“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”

It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.

“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”

“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”

“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”

“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.

“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.

“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.

“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.

"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."

“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”

"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”

"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."

“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”

“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.

“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”

"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.

"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.

"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"

“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.

“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.

“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.

Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.

“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."

You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.

“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”

"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"

"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."

"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."

"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."

Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.

Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.

"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.

"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"

You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.

"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."

At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.

"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."

read it on ao3 | masterlist

this night together | series masterlist.

summary: you're finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won't let you go through it alone.

pairings: yunho x mingi x reader as the main pairing, but features seonghwa x san x wooyoung x reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory, non!idol!reader, non!idol!ateez, alpha!yunho, alpha!mingi, omega!fem!reader, alpha!seonghwa, alpha!san, omega!wooyoung

warnings: handled on a chapter by chapter basis, but just know now that this is an omegaverse fic so everything that goes with that like heat, knotting, etc. will be discussed across the board. any stronger cw/tw will be clearly identified, but please note that there are conversations around consent throughout.

current word count: 112.2k

main storyline:

one ✿ two ✿ three ✿ four ✿ five ✿ six ✿ seven ✿ eight ✿ nine ✿ ten ✿ eleven ✿ twelve ✿ thirteen ✿ more to come...

deleted/extra scenes:

in their hands; 7.7k (chapter 12 from the boys perspective)

if you prefer to read on AO3, you can find that here.

my fic masterlist can be found here!

My darling Cece has completed the S.I.M.P. project and it's so so so good!

If you like Jisung (with a splash of Minho) please give it a read!

@moonlightndaydreams I'm looking at you, unnie

Screen Identity: Mismatched Passion

— contains adult content, minors do not interact 🔞 —

[ abstract ]: After a rough break up during semester break, you’re put in a class with none other than your longtime academic rival Han Jisung once university starts again. Things don’t get any easier considering he’s your older brother’s best friend and destiny decides to assign you two to a partner project. Luckily, you can distract yourself a little by chatting with the mysterious guy you met online a couple of months ago, getting closer both emotionally and physically with him, absolutely unaware he might be nearer than you would expect…

[ parts ]: EP. 1 — PAPILIO ULYSSES | EP. 2 — APATURA IRIS | EP. 3 — COLIAS CROCEUS | EP. 4 — ANARTIA AMATHEA | EP. 5 — GRETA OTO | EP. 6 — PIERIS NAPI | EP. 7 — PAPILIO PALINURUS

[ general ]: jisung + fem reader, gamer + stoner jisung, gamer reader, academic rivals/enemies → lovers, brother’s best friend, minho is reader’s slightly older brother, college au, smut + angst + fluff, accidental online dating, inexperienced jisung + inexperienced reader [ real life ] vs simp jisung + brat reader [ online ] so they act a lot differently while chatting

[ warning ]: explicit sexual scenes [ will be individually specified for each chapter ], consumption of alcohol and weed, [ I might add more during the writing process and pls always make sure to read the chapters’ individual warnings and remember you’re responsible for your own media consumption ]

[ words ]: 48.8K [ completed! ]

[ note ]: a huge thank you @palindrome969 for helping me figure out the title and everyone else who suggested ideas! this is the long awaited and promised spin off series to The Experience Project [ minho x a different reader than this one ] so it might include the tiniest spoilers but nothing huge! make sure to check out the original story too. Tag list is open. if you wish to be added in order to engage meaningfully with this little story just let me know! If you asked me before under some other post please comment here again, I couldn’t keep track of all wishes to be tagged since I didn’t have a list at this point. I hope you will like this story 🩷

© leeknowsallyoursecrets 2024 — copying, stealing or translating my work is prohibited

Okay. I need a moment... Professors are just so ... There's just something about it...

hiiiii <333 I have lovedddd lovvvveeeddd alll of your works I actually spent my day reading each and everyone of them I love it so muchhh!! 😭❤️

I have a request teehee, could you write one where Sannie is like a professor in your college and there’s little teasing here and there and where he ends up having her alas!! DOM - SAN ‼️💋

his favourite

<prof!san x fem!reader>

Prof Choi likes playing favourites.

You’re his favourite.

Genres/Warnings: smut, dom professor Choi San, pwp, face fucking, unprotected sex, oral (m receive) ,mutual pining, age gap, size kink, cream pies, mild jealousy plot, sir kink, light bondage (just tying up reader) teasing, sexual tension, teaching assistantxteacher obv forbidden but we still eat it up anyway!

Word count: 12.3K

a/n: happy birthday to the man of my dreams </3 enjoy this little choi san birthday treat. i put my love into this so please love this as much as i did! and thank you @bro-atz for the tidbits of help as always 🩷

apply for taglist here!

You stare at the laptop screen, scanning through your details on the application form, double, and triple checking that everything was filled in correctly. 

“Which professors are you trying as a teaching assistant for?” Your roommate asks, her neck craning over to see you attaching the file to six different emails, to six different professors within the department, pretty much answering her question the moment she reads off each professor’s email. 

“Why not try for the department chair?”

You scrunch your eyebrows as if it’s the first time you’re hearing that. 

“Who?”

“Professor Choi?”

Your eyes widen, your neck almost getting whiplash from how fast you turned to your roommate at the sound of his name. 

“Why the fuck would I try him?” 

Your roommate shrugs in an attempt to hide her amused reaction from your reaction at his name. 

“Who knows? I’m confident he remembers you even though you spent only one semester with him”, she hums turning away to pour herself another ice drink from the pitcher. “On a serious note, you may as well just get all the help you can get. Besides, what are the chances that Prof Choi sees your email? He’s the department chair. I’m sure his mailbox is just flooded anyway.” 

True, you think to yourself, turning your head back to your laptop, and adding the professor’s email address in. But you still hesitate, staring at the application form, your cursor hovering over the send button. Your roommate looks over at you, and she decides that your wishy-washy behaviour is just being the biggest nuisance on earth, so her hand flies over yours and helps you to press send, and she watches you freak out at her while she giggles and escapes after committing her crime, chasing your roommate around the kitchen island for a good seven minutes.

Settling back down in defeat, you sigh in your hands, giving yourself pep talks. 

Right. 

The chances are close to zero that Prof Choi will see my application anyway. 

The chances of him remembering me are close to zero anyway. 

You shut your laptop, and the applications are completely erased from your mind. 

“Yo, check your emails, babe. The application results are out for me”, your roommate says, her eyes glued to her laptop screen. 

You settle yourself down across her, a chilled drink in your hand, pulling up your email inbox. As you expected, you see the subject headline ‘Teaching Assistant Application Results’, and you expand the email.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me”, you mutter, loud enough for your roommate to hear. Her head pops out from behind her screen. 

“Who did you get?”

“Choi San.”

Professor Choi San. His classes weren’t the bane of your existence—but he, himself was. 

And the fact that it only took one semester to solidify that claim. Almost everyone wanted to get into his class, so fucking many of them just squealing over how he looked almost god-like. You wonder how much of a swoon he would be, how much of the rumours that travelled down the stream were factual, though with thousands of students constantly fighting for a spot in his class, you sure were coloured surprised when you landed a spot in Professor Choi’s class. 

The moment he walked in, the whispers within the confines of the lecture hall erupted into gasps and squeals. Unfortunately, the rumours were right—the moment ProfessorChoi walked in, it was as if your eyes naturally followed his movement—confident strides in his steps dictated by his outfit—a simple dress shirt under a dark gray vest that accentuated his wide shoulders and skinny waist.  

He was so fucking handsome—his hair neatly slicked back, frameless glasses sat on his nose bridge, his sharp and small eyes hiding behind the lens. Undoubtedly, seeds of infatuation began lodging themselves in you. Well, it’s not like you had a chance with him anyway, especially when the gold band reflected from his ring finger being a huge indicator. Maybe keeping him as an eye candy would work out just fine. 

Prof Choi’s classes were interesting, and he as a professor, other than being a distraction during the majority of his classes, held his credentials. However, at times, some sarcastic comments would bubble to the surface, and even though he did tend to commend top-scoring students for tests, he still maintained professionalism for the most part—the content taught wasn’t rocket science anyway. You saw yourself being able to breeze through the syllabus for the most part until you received your grade for one of your essays. You stared at his comments, marked in red lines, circles, and words—tone cold and direct—not that you weren’t used to it, but this time? You felt his comments alongside him marking you down were completely unjustified. 

It was then that you pushed past the group of girls who would stay back after class to shamelessly flirt with him, under the guise of wanting to discuss more about the content taught that day, and you stood before the group, asking to speak to Prof Choi personally. Prof Choi did have people staying back after class to consult with him about grades, although they would stay shortly with him staying stern to his marking rubrics, but when he realised you weren’t backing down on top of the way you approached him so directly, it intrigued him.

His office was spacious, considering that he was the department chair—and without introductions, he had you dive in immediately in consultation. 

You wasted no time, flipping through the spent pages of your essay, pointing out areas where you felt his comments were unjustified. Prof Choi listened, and he refuted your points, some of which you decided to accept but not for one particular part;

“This part had no proper scientific support of your argument for this point-“

“Bullshit”, you cut him off. Prof Choi blinked, shocked at the blunt cut from you. His eyebrows were scrunched in confusion next, wondering if he heard right that a student not only just cut him off, but cussed at him.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s here. A small significance value is still something isn’t it?” You replied, pointing at the paragraph after. He glanced at the paper once more, forcing himself to focus while you fought back that your argument was supported. 

So you made Prof Choi sit before you and listen to your elaborations, and needless to say, he was rather impressed, although he had to hold his expression neutral. 

You came out of the consultation victorious—the day Prof Choi called you over after his class again, handing you your script, and you saw your total marks shooting up to a gorgeous score. Your head was so into the clouds that you returned a smirk along with a shrug—showing off your victory and satisfaction as your thanks—an I told you so, leaving the professor to stare after you in awe while you practically skipped to your seat. 

That sealed your fate. 

From then on, Prof Choi would have his attention on you—recognising which seat you picked to sit in in class, wondering why you hadn’t dared sit nearer. And when it came to picking people to answer questions, his gaze would fly to you immediately—either waiting to call you out once you raised your hand or simply calling you when he felt like it. For some sick reason, he finds the way your face scrunches up in stress when he calls your name in his honey-soaked voice amusing, and even adorable at times, though he would never admit it. But oh, did he love the comments and answers you would give him. 

Despite that assignment being the only one where you decided to consult Prof Choi, following every grade release of an assignment, he would single you out, especially after class, to fucking ask if you had questions regarding said assignment, which honestly started to freak you out—mostly because he never gave you the attention before, and you weren’t used to it. The whispering gossip in the class about you being the teacher’s pet slowly reached your ears too, and even Prof Choi heard it—and he only exacerbated that rumours by constantly giving you his attention. 

Every time you reached your dorm, the words that left your mouth which your roommate could recite verbatim, “I swear to god, Prof Choi has it out for me!”

Not to mention you were fucking relieved when the last day of his class rolled around, but unfortunately, his parting words to you were, “I’m sure I’ll see you around, y/n”. You did everything in your power to avoid getting into his class and even bumping into him, which seemed to work swell. 

Until now that is. 

Now here you are again, standing before the familiar heavy wooden door, staring up at the wooden plate, embossed with gold lettering “Department Chair Choi San” staring right at you. You had to physically drag yourself off your bed to prepare for the first day partnered with Prof Choi. And when your roommate’s words of “oh come on, he can’t be that bad. He’s hot!”, echoed through your ears, it all the more made you want to just ditch your first day by clawing your eyeballs out. 

You had to collect yourself before Prof Choi collected you. 

With a raised knuckle, you rap against the door, taking deep inhales in the process. His voice, which sounded deceivingly like honey, remained the same as you remembered. 

“Come in.”

You pause for a moment, embracing yourself before holding onto to doorknob and pushing his door open. 

There he was, Professor Choi, his eyes focused on the scripts on his desk, which had piled up. His space remained the same as you remembered, for the most part—shelves littered with awards and files, the same desktop taking up one-quarter of his huge ass desk, and the couch with the coffee table left to the side of the room. Prof Choi wore a stern look of concentration on his face, still preoccupied with finishing up marking his scripts. 

When his pen pauses and his gaze shifts towards the door, a small smile spreads across his face. He lifts his head and drops his pen, interlocking his fingers on his desk with growing amusement when his eyes meet yours. 

Fuck, he’s still so handsome.

“Professor Choi”, you greet, holding your expression neutral as you bow, forcing yourself not to fidget with your tote bag. 

“Y/n!” Prof Choi greets almost too enthusiastically. “I would assume you would be more than delighted when I picked you to be my teaching assistant.”

“Honoured, almost”, you reply. It’s taking all of your energy not to break his gaze. He’s staring at you with unreadable eyes, and you’re wondering if the fluttering in your chest is from the anxiety or the way Prof Choi is staring at you.

Prof Choi laughs, and it tickles your ears a little too good. 

“Sit. We have a lot to go through today”, he gestures to the seat before him, and you take it.

He switches on his monitor to his course syllabus and turns the monitor slightly towards you. 

“Oh, before we begin, it’s a pleasure meeting you again, y/n.”

Oh boy, was being Prof Choi’s teaching assistant a fucking handful. You knew it was gonna be rough, but to be assisting Professor Choi San? He was on another level—his schedule would be filled to the brim with meetings with the faculty on top of conducting classes weekly. You struggled in your first month, learning the ropes, especially from a busy and challenging professor like him. He wasn’t mean or cold at all, on the contrary, more direct and meticulous. Well, he had to be, considering his position. Nonetheless, it felt like he was always too busy to attend to your questions sometimes, and that would leave you to your own devices. 

You stand in the aisle, looking down at the assortment of foods lined up in the chiller. Has Prof eaten yet? Does he even eat? What does he even eat? By instinct, you pull out your phone and open his chat. 

[you]: Hi Prof. Have you eaten? I’m at the convenience store near the campus. I could grab something quick for you. 

A couple of minutes go by, but your phone doesn’t receive a ping, and you had to reach the office soon. So you pick up another tuna rice ball for the professor alongside yours before making a beeline for the cashier. 

Prof Choi hears the knock on his door and as usual, he utters his usual “come in”. His gaze lands on you, and he glances at the clock. 

“You’re on time today”, he points out. 

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. “I’m always on time, Professor.”

“You’re usually in a little earlier.”

“Right, because I got you this”, you reply, rustling through the plastic bag in your hands, fishing out the rice ball.

He looks up at you, confusion hinted in his expression. He doesn’t take the food yet. 

“What’s this?” 

“Tuna rice ball. Surely only having coffee in the morning is not filling your stomach.” 

You put the food in front of him. “Besides, I messaged you but you didn’t reply. So I just chose something safe. Unless you’re telling me you’re allergic to tuna or something.”

Prof Choi blinks. His hands reach out to take the snack from the desk, unwrapping the plastic packaging as he watches you leave his office to grab a mug of coffee. He glances over at his phone, and sure enough, your name is there with your message.

Since then, his reply would pop up in mere minutes whenever you asked him if he wanted anything to eat. 

Of course, the more you spent time with him, the more you grew comfortable, and all the thoughts you ever stressed about slowly faded off. Prof Choi grew more relaxed around you, internally grateful that you’re able to tank a significant fraction of his workload for him. Undoubtedly, you also come to realise that Prof Choi is human after all—he obviously would make mistakes, even as someone of his caliber, and deep inside, you found it rather cute, well, until you had to stop yourself from developing deranged thoughts. 

Not to mention, another problem seemed to pop up—his flirty banter. He likely picked up that it made you flustered sometimes, and since then, he wouldn’t let it go, relishing at the way pink creeps up your cheeks when he would say something that wasn’t like his ‘professor-self’, and at worst, feeding into your crooked thoughts. 

You stare at him as he types away, particularly, the metal band around his ring finger. You wonder who was the lucky lady who had the chance to be with him. You blink. 

What the hell were you thinking?

“It’s rude to stare, you know”, Prof Choi’s voice snapping you out of your daydreams. 

“I’m just wondering about your ring, that’s all”, you reply, forcing your attention back to your half-marked assignments.

“I’m not actually married”, he suddenly confesses, and for some reason, it makes your heart beat slightly faster. 

“Huh?” Is all you manage to reply. 

Prof Choi chuckles. He pauses his work on the desktop, turning his attention to you. Even though you have worked so closely with him for a while already, you can never seem to find your composure around him. 

Even though you see his face every week, you can’t seem to wrap your head around how insanely good-looking he is, how sometimes you struggle to maintain eye contact with him, because it doesn’t take long before you feel yourself slowly flushing. 

“I wear it on my ring finger so the students stop asking about my marital status”, Prof Choi clarifies. You watch him pull the ring from his ring finger and fit it over his index. 

“So you’re single”, you echo.

He nods, “I’m single.” 

What is this strange feeling of relief?

“What about you?” He suddenly asks. You’re not looking directly at him, and you don’t realise the way he’s looking at you attentively. And if you do, you just might combust.

“I’m…single too”, you answer, trying to meet his gaze, fidgeting with the red pen in between your fingers. 

“And why’s that? Too busy fighting with your professors for grades?”

You glare at him. 

“I think it was my professor picking fights with me”, you reply quickly, jabbing right back at him. 

You watch Prof Choi lower his gaze, a smile spreading across his cheeks—an actual smile—his dimples showing up. Oh fuck. Just when you thought you could depend on your ribcage to contain your heart properly, you found out Prof Choi could actually smile. 

When he looks up at you again, you break the eye contact, your gaze flying back to the papers before you. 

“You know, I’ve met many students, but you were the first to cuss out at me.”

You did? “I did?”

Your professor nods, cocking his eyebrow at the way you had seemed to have simply forgotten something as eventful as that. 

This time, Professor Choi bursts into a chuckle, completely amused by your reaction. 

“Is that why you kept-“

“Giving you chances to answer in class for credit? You should really thank me for that. Your grade for my class was one of the highest you know.”

You feel your cheeks flush. But before you can retaliate, Prof Choi cuts you off.

“Jokes aside, no. I think the discussion we had that afternoon had an impression on me. The cherry on top was you cussing at me. I liked that. Refreshing and endearing”, Prof Choi continues, his attention seeping back to the pile of scripts before him. 

“I think this side of Professor is pretty refreshing and endearing too”, you let it slip.

His pen pauses in mid-air. You don’t catch his gaze completely softening on you. 

As the semester continues on, you began easing into the class schedules. You watch prof get swarmed by a group of students, a usual ritual that happens right when the class ends. At this point, you had grown used to it. Sometimes the students would come and approach you instead, which honestly surprised you, but your heart would feel warm, knowing that these students trusted you.

It was then you became acquainted with another teaching assistant under Prof Choi, who joined shortly after you did—Choi Jongho. Initially, he came off as a rather shy individual, but the both of you warmed up quickly with each other, sharing the workload and bonding over gossip with each other. Gosh, was he fucking amazing with gossip, especially when it came to Professor Choi. Soon enough, the both of you were texting almost on a regular basis, the conversations weighing more towards academic topics sprinkled with a little gossip. 

“You’re going off with Choi Jongho?”

“Yeah”, you reply, bunching the papers in your hands. “I’ve got some things to discuss with him about.” Partially true. 

For some reason, even though your professor has been completely swamped with papers to grade and meetings to attend, you would always find him loitering around your desk from time to time. He seems to especially enjoy doing that when you’re around. 

“You’ve been spending an awfully lot amount of time with him”, Prof Choi points out, looking over your shoulder as he watches you scribble on another student’s paper. 

“Yeah, we get along well actually. Isn’t that a good thing, Prof? Both your teaching assistants are besties.”

For some reason, that makes Prof Choi frown, but you’re too absorbed in your work to notice it.

A couple of minutes go by, and you still feel his presence, not that you mind, but you’re starting to find it peculiar that he’s been hanging around your desk a lot recently.

“Do you have something to discuss with me, prof?” You ask, eyes still glued to the paper.

“Yes”, he replies, taking another sip from his mug. “What do you think of Choi Jongho?”

Such a random question to ask, you think. Maybe he’s just making sure you and Jongho get along well?

You pause, giving yourself to think, tapping the back of the red pen against your bottom lip, taken aback by Prof Choi’s sudden question, but the conversations you and Jongho had resurfacing into your brain, and a giggle escapes you, which makes Professor Choi subconsciously narrow his eyes and furrow his brows. 

“He’s fun to be around, and despite how he looks, he’s actually got a wicked sense of humor. Oh god, wait. Let me tell you what you he did that day while we were having lunch together-“

You turn your head to continue to run your mouth, only to slowly trail off when realise his face is just inches from yours, and you swear your heart is on a treadmill from the lack of distance between you and Prof Choi. It’s as if time paused, the both of you sinking right into each other’s gazes. You can’t help but notice how intense his gaze is, and you can’t seem to decipher his thoughts, but from the way this situation played out, you swore he’d just lean in and kiss you. 

Your heartbeat accelerates at the thought—why would he do that?

And when his fingers are on your chin, your rational thoughts are getting flushed out. 

“That’s an awful lot of cute things about Choi Jongho. I’ve never heard you talk about another Choi like that.”

You swallow hard, your body still frozen in spot. 

“What do you think about him then?” 

“Jongho? I was just-“

“No. Choi San.”

Oh god. You could only stare back at him. Prof Choi tilts his head, his eyebrows raised, waiting for his answer. His cologne floats and almost shuts down your senses—has he always smelled this good? 

The corner of his lips curl slightly at the way you’re staring at him like a deer in the headlights. 

“I t-think Prof-“

“San. Choi San”, he corrects you. 

Another hard swallow the more you try to focus your gaze on him. 

“I think Choi San’s a great professor. He’s really competent, a lot softer than he presents himself as-“

Fuck you can’t think. Not when he’s staring down your eyes to your lips like that. 

“Mmhm.”

“And he’s really so-“

Then a loud knock echoes across the room, breaking the tension. Prof Choi’s body doesn’t shift, but he looks up at the door, shouting “door’s unlocked”, before he stands back upright, adjusting his glasses and walking back to his desk. 

Jongho’s head peeks in, then he bows at Prof Choi before he walks to your desk. You stare up at him with a forced smile. 

“Ready to go? I was waiting for your message”, Jongho says, his eyes glancing over the professor, then you, a strange feeling that he probably interrupted something. 

You nod, while shoving your belongings into your bag, then slinging it on your shoulder. 

Barely being able to look at Professor Choi, you still force yourself to, bowing goodbye to him. 

“Thank you Prof Choi. See you tomorrow.”

He looks up from his desk, right into your eyes. 

“See you too, y/n.” 

You can’t help but wonder how far things would have gone if Jongho didn’t knock the door.

Jongho isn’t an idiot. Initially, he assumes that you and the professor were on much friendlier terms considering that you came in before he did. Granted, the workload he would give the both of you was the same, he would take the initiative to have lunch with the both of you both individually and together whenever he had pockets of free time, but what roused his awareness was the lingering glances Professor Choi would cast at you from time to time, the way he seemed to relish the reactions you would give him whenever he teased you. 

He notices the way your ears would grow red even when you roll your eyes at the professor and jab him with another playful snarky remark. 

Though he wonders how dangerous things could get, Jongho thinks this could get interesting. 

The semester continues smoothly, the only change being that Jongho being absent from the office more often due to his other commitment to soccer. You remember him telling you he had quite a big match coming up, the sparkle in his eyes bright and twinkling whenever he talks about said sport. 

If he wasn’t in classes, he’d be off for training, hopping into the office from time to time to pass Professor Choi marked scripts and reports. Prof Choi pretty much didn’t mind—he stated as long as Jongho did his job, he could be free to do what he wanted outside of being a teaching assistant.

Needless to say, the office was mostly Prof Choi and you, now even more time spent with him with Jongho mostly being absent. By then, the both of you had grown so accustomed to being in each other’s presence that banters amongst each other became the norm—the both of you competing with each other with unserious remarks, laced with almost flirtatiousness, just to see who would back down first. 

Then came the proximity—since Prof Choi would wander over your desk as if he had all the free time in the world, he would somehow strike up another conversation with you, leaning over to hear you better, his arm bumping into yours to look over at the papers you were grading to check if you were doing them correctly. But what he absolutely adores the most is when you’d roll over to his desk to pester him with your questions—sometimes even testing him on his own content. 

He likes the way he gets to be closer to you. He likes the way your shoulders touch his when you lean in to push the paper towards him so he can see the script better. 

He likes the way you would finally look up and meet his eyes when you’re done formulating your question, waiting to hear his opinion.

Today is no different—Professor Choi being so used to the notion that he would only be seeing you in the office, the corner of his lips pull upwards at the thought of the types of banter you would have with him, the kinds of shenanigans you would bring into the office.

He hears your knock at the time you would always arrive, watching the way the door opens, and your head popping from the door, as you greet, “Hi Prof!” 

“Good morning, y/n”, he would greet back, sipping on his morning coffee. 

You walk over to his desk, dropping his tuna rice ball. “Here you go. Enjoy your breakfast, Prof!”

“You can stop calling me Prof”, Prof Choi suddenly says, twirling the pen in his hand. For a second, you wonder what triggered the sudden change. You’ve been calling him Prof since day one, pretty much used to it already, the only time you didn’t was when he—never mind. The thought of it is making your face flush again. 

“Is there something else you want me to call you?” You ask, trying to calm your heartbeat down when that memory suddenly resurfaces. 

“You can call me San. I’m fine with that. I know you’re still my teaching assistant but we’ve been working closely. I think it’s fine to drop the Prof honorific.”

You try out. 

“Sure thing San”, you reply. “Though it’s gonna take a while for me to get used to this.”

“If you’re able to cuss in front of me, calling me by my name should be the least of your worries, y/n”, San teases.

You raise your hand, feigning a stance ready to smack him before you lower your arm, listening to the way San laughs before rolling your eyes and sinking into your desk. 

The day marches on as normal—attending a class or two with Jongho before he’s whisked away to his soccer practice, leaving just the two of you for the rest of the day. 

San is leaning at your desk again, looking at you typing out your report. He squints slightly before he leans down to your shoulder, his finger pointed at one of the paragraphs, asking you about the content. You answer him, and when you turn your head once you’re done, you find yourself looking at San’s side profile mere inches away—his sun-kissed skin, his pretty lashes, his thick, well-trimmed eyebrows, and the way his lips protrude out a little—he always looked like he’s pouting in the most adorable way. 

That’s when you realise a problem seemed to be bubbling up to the surface, try as you might to ignore it, repress it—that you’re falling for your professor. Fast. 

You snap back to reality, finally aware of how loud your heart is beating against your rib cage, and your hand flies up in instinct as a divider between you and San. San blinks at the sudden movement, confused. 

“Y/n, what are you doing?” He’s not moving. 

“I think I’ve got something on my face.”

San cocks an eyebrow. “You do? Let me check-“ 

His palm covers yours, bringing it down to the table, and you’re kicking yourself for sprouting such a self-sabotaging lie.

Why? Because now San has his hand on yours on top of his face in full view of yours, his eyes meeting yours before his gaze flutters around your face, checking for whatever hell you said was on your face. 

His gaze meets yours and for a split second, something else glints in his eyes. 

The door swings open, and San straightens himself up, slightly irritated at the interruption, leaving you to spin your chair away from San, your hands cupping your cheeks, the heat warming you up against the cold air conditioner. The heat from his hand on yours lingers for a little longer. 

Jongho walks in, his duffel slinging on his shoulder with his shoe bag clipped. 

“Hey, Prof. Hey cutie.” 

San blinks. What did he just call you?

“Hey jjongie. Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” You ask, forcing yourself to focus on your colleague instead. 

“Supposedly, yeah, but there was a sudden downpour midway so training got cancelled. Might as well get some work done here”, he shrugs, dropping his bag onto the floor. 

San is wrapping his head around the fact that you and Jongho seem to have pet names for each other. 

“Didn’t miss me too much right?” Jongho teases. “‘Cause I did!”

“That’s a first coming from you jjongie”, you reply, surprising a smile. 

“Of course! It’s been a while, how could I not? We should go eat dinner together sometime.”

San only stares on in silence, pretending to sink back into his grading.

Jongho walks over to your desk, taking his turn to look at your report. San watches the way Jongho’s arm is comfortable over your seat, as he asks you about your report, talking to you as if San wasn’t just behind you seconds before. 

The fact you’re entertaining him—hitting his arm playfully and laughing at his remarks—all the more rouses some kind of irritation in San. It’s like a boiling pot. 

He pretends he doesn’t see the way Jongho leans in to whisper something into your ear although it’s bugging him so fucking much. For once, he wishes Jongho’s training didn’t cancel. 

“Oh right before I forget”, Jongho mutters, rushing back to his desk, digging through his bag. He walks back over with a paper in hand and places it before you. You glance down and your face brightens up—it’s a ticket to his game. 

“For real?” You exclaim, your eyes bright, taking the ticket in your hands. “I’ll definitely make time for you.”

“I’ll score goals for you, kay?” Jongho teases, his eyes glancing at San, who is progressively looking more irritated. 

“Ah, Is San not going?” 

“San? Since when were you on first name basis with him?” Jongho wonders aloud, the suspicion only brewing even more. 

“Jongho, don’t you have reports to hand in?” San asks curtly. 

You feel like you are caught in between crossfire for some reason. 

Jongho smiles, then has your head under his arm, which elicits another irritated reaction from your professor. 

You have never had Jongho done this before. In fact, you recall him offhandedly mentioning that he’s never a physical touch person, and that anything with physical touch makes him shudder. 

“Relax, Prof. You’d rather your subordinates get along than not right?”

Just when San is about to reply, Jongho suddenly exclaims. 

“AH, coach is calling me back to the field. Prof, I’ll send you the report by tomorrow okay? See you guys!”, Jongho hums as he runs back to his desktop to turn it off. 

“Has he always been like that?” San wonders aloud, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“I guess. It’s actually what makes him cute.”

“Cute? You think Jongho is…cute?” 

“Is he not? Doesn’t he remind you of a bear? Big and cuddly.”

San clears his throat, and you watch him walk over to your desk, his hand resting on the tabletop. He leans in. 

“So… you find it cute when he gives you pet names?”

“Well, I mean-“

“You find it cute when he plays with your hair?” San curls your locks around his fingers. 

You can’t seem to get words to leave your throat. 

“You find it cute when he has his hands all over you like that?” He’s leaning in even closer this time, arms trapping you at either side.

“Prof-“

“No. It’s sir.”

Your mind is in a whirlwind at the way he’s towering over you, his scent the only thing filling your olfactory senses, the way he’s staring right into you, gaze sharp as a blade. 

“You find it cute when his touches run up your body like this?” His fingers are trailing up your arms, every touch he burns into your skin, and when his thumb pauses at your chin, you realise you’re royally fucked.

Once more, his face is mere inches away from yours. You wonder if you’ll be teased like two previous times before. 

“Of course you don’t. You’d rather I do that to you, right?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Yes, sir.”

His voice is barely a whisper, his eyes downcast, staring at your lips like it’s his reward to claim. 

“Good girl.”

Of course, he claims it.

His kisses are so greedy—his lips prying yours open, and you feel yourself completely give in to him, surrendering whatever resistance, rationale, repression to Choi San. 

You want more—you want seconds. Every swipe his tongue passes your lip, it makes your head float. How does someone taste this fucking good?

He pauses mid-way—barely a couple of seconds, to pull off his glasses and strew them across the desk—then goes back to devouring your lips. 

San would smile in between kisses when he hears your whimpers. He thinks you’re so fucking adorable when you tremble slightly at his touch. It all goes straight to his cock. 

He thinks you’ll be even more adorable when he ruins you. 

When San pulls back, he swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, watching your glazed-out expression with amusement. 

"I'd love to continue messing you up, but I have a meeting to attend. I’ll deal with you later, sweetheart. See you next week.”

His touch lingers on your chin for a couple of seconds longer before he pulls away and shifts to walk back to his desk, leaving your heartbeat wild and erratic, and your thighs squeezed tighter.

Since then, that was all you ever thought about—the slight smile before his lips collided with yours, the way his words rang in your ears. You could barely meet his eyes. 

In more instances than one and with any chance given to him, he’d close up any physical distance he had with you. Worried that your emotions would bubble and overflow when he does that, you developed a habit of avoiding his eye contact. 

Even after classes, you swore he was casting you glances even with lines of students waiting to talk to him. 

“Did you piss Prof off or something?” Jongho asks as he shuts his laptop. 

“Why are you asking?”

He shrugs. “It’s just that he’s been eyeing you down like a hawk recently. Did something happen between the both of you?”

You freeze when the flashbacks of the taste of his lips return to your memory when you remember how hungry he looked just wanting to devour you. 

“Y/n?”

You blink, then force yourself to meet Jongho’s eyes. 

“No. Nothing happened. At least I hope I didn’t make any mistakes.”

“You’re fine. There’s a reason why the department chair chose his teaching assistants.”

You laugh softly at his words.

But when you hear San’s voice from behind you, you almost jump. 

“Y/n, Jongho, the both of you can wrap up here and head back to the office”, he instructs. You feel his warmth radiating from behind, and it only makes your heart jump at the proximity. 

You watch Jongho slowly pack up, small conversations sparking between the both of you about his soccer practice. 

You glance at the door. San isn’t back yet. 

“I think it’ll take him awhile to be back. The students there seem to really like him.” 

No doubt, the female students for this class seemed a lot more assertive, almost always demanding all of San’s time. Well, not that it should matter. It’s not as if he should mean anything-

“Y/n? Are you okay? You seem pretty off recently. Even Prof’s pretty worried”, Jongho’s voice grounding you back to the cold office. 

You force a smile and shake your head. 

“I’m fine. I guess it’s just so much workload to deal with.” 

Jongho places his hand on your shoulder in comfort, “You’re doing fine. You know you can approach either of us if you’re struggling right?”

You feel comforted, even though your messy thoughts weren’t even about the workload, so you return an assured smile before waving Jongho off for his soccer practice. 

You’re wondering what you’re feeling nervous about, because when the door of San’s room opens, you jolt slightly. 

“You’re still here?” You hear San ask. 

“Yeah. Need to reply to some emails and double-check some of their assignments.” Not a total lie. It’s the swirling feelings he’s been giving you whenever that day surfaces in your mind, the small bouts of attention he pays you and the touches he lets linger a little too long that’s all a dopamine rush in you. You can’t help but want more. But in the same breath, meeting his gaze will allude doom for you. 

San nods as he sits back at his desk, going right back to his computer. The silence continues for awhile and you’re surprised that you’re even able to concentrate. 

“Y/n”, you hear San call you. 

Your gaze doesn’t break from your screen. “Hmm?”

“Come here. Help me look at this.”

You walk over, ignoring the way your heart is just pounding so damn loudly. It’s painfully obvious that San is staring right at your face, and it’s also painfully obvious that you’re avoiding looking at him. 

And it definitely seems to be ticking him off. 

Your eyes stay locked to his screen reading off whatever is on the screen, and nothing is processing in your brain. 

“It looks good”, you curtly reply, trying to ignore the fact that you’re being stared down by a certain professor. You turn away, your eyes still not acknowledging San, only for your professor to stop you in your tracks. 

“Now where do you think you’re going?”

He’s making you face him now. 

You’re still not giving him eye contact. 

“Back to my desk?” You say, looking off into the distance. But San seems to have other plans. 

“You know ‘looks good’ isn’t the feedback I’m looking for, right?”

Shit. You know that clear as day. 

Now San has both his arms trapping you on his desk. 

You somehow still manage to avoid his sharp gaze even when you’re backing up against him, easily letting him corner you.

His belongings are strewn all over the desk when he pins you down. By some miracle, only papers flutter down his desk. 

And you’re finally looking right at him. 

“You’re finally looking at me, y/n”, he states the obvious. “Now tell me, did I do something wrong?” 

“No, you didn’t, sir”, you reply curtly. 

He leans in closer. 

“Then why are you avoiding my eye contact?”

You shut your eyes and squeeze them. There’s no pure way out of this—your dirty thoughts are seeping into the smallest crevices of your brain, and the more San is prodding you, the more it makes you throb.

“It’s because that evening when we…” you feel your cheeks burn with every word leaving your lips. 

San is waiting for you to continue. 

“When we kissed…couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“And?”

“It made me want…more.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Has anyone told you how adorable you are when you’re honest?” He chuckles. “I’m gonna finish what we started sweetheart, like I promised.”

It makes your heart flutter. 

“Am I getting your consent for this?”, San’s voice rings in your ears. You’re finding it hard to focus, especially when his thumb is pushing past the corner of your lips, and you’re just growing wet as fuck. 

This is not right. This is so dangerous. 

“Yes sir”, you reply back, trying to ignore the way your cunt is just tingling from the feeling of San’s thick erection pressing against you.

“That’s my good girl”, he praises before he dives in for a hungry kiss, his fingers roaming around your body, squeezing your tits before he unbuttons your shirt at an agonising pace. He smiles on your lips when he hears your soft gasp, and he presses his lips down to your jaw and then to your neck, sucking and biting the soft skin against your neck, his erection growing tighter against his trousers when he hears you moan and squirm. 

When he’s satisfied with the light marks he decorated down your neck, his lips are pressed against your ear, and his hands are moving dangerously close to your cunt, and inevitably, your bottoms are off in seconds, leaving you in your pretty panties. 

“I would prefer fucking you on my bed instead for the first time, but taking you on my desk? Maybe not too bad.”

Your cunt squeezes at the sound of San cussing. You never thought he’d sound this fucking hot. 

He groans when his fingers press against the soaked patch of fabric hiding your pussy. All that wetness for him. He bunches up the fabric and rubs it against your clit, the friction drawing frustrated whimpers from you, much to his satisfaction. It feels so good but it’s not enough, and it’s driving you crazy.

San’s fingers finally hook against the waistband of your panties, sliding them off your legs, and pocketing them, much to your shock. 

And he doesn’t give you much time to focus on that because when he pulls his cock out from his unzipped pants, it makes your head spin from how thick Choi San is. 

“Sir, I’m not sure-“

“It’ll fit, sweetheart, like it’s made for me”, is all the warning San gives before he lines up to your hole and pushes his cock in. 

You can’t tell what’s fucking you up more—the way his cock is stretching you open or the San groaning in relief when he finally gets to stuff you full. 

You bat away your tears, his cock so fucking full inside of you, pressing against your walls, being squeezed so perfectly by you. 

God, Choi San thinks he’s in heaven. 

His fingers brush across your cheeks, collecting your teardrops. His eyes lack any ounce of empathy. 

“Aw, are you crying because it feels good? You look so fucking pretty crying when I’m stretching you open.”

You barely find the words to reply to him, all stuck in your throat, your mind only flooded by the way San’s cock is buried in your cunt, your thighs trembling from the pleasure. It’s almost sickening. You know you shouldn’t be doing this—not with your professor, not on his fucking desk, but when he has you wrapped you around his finger and cock fucking the daylights out of you, it’s a temptation you can never resist. 

A soft hiccup escapes past your lips when San pulls out almost all the way, his cock covered in a sheen of slick and precum before he pushes himself in once more, groaning when you clench around him for the nth time. 

“You feel so fucking good, sweetheart. God, I could just fuck you all day. You’d like that right?”

You’re barely keeping track, eyes rolled to the back of your head while your thighs twitch from the pleasure, but you manage to hold the eye contact, and through blurry tears, you mutter a weak, “Yes sir”. 

“Of course you do”, San hums before he pulls out once more and starts fucking you dumb on his desk. 

No matter how much you try to cover your mouth, bite your tongue or your lip, your moans only come out louder in defiance, the dopamine shooting up your pussy over and over again whenever San’s cock hits your pretty spots. 

Your mind is addicted to the way San’s shirt is buttoned down his chest, his cleavage almost fully out for you to gawk at, the way strands of his hair cling to his forehead because of the sweat, the way his eyes roll back when he feels you squeeze him with every loud fuck, and the way he looks down to you from time to time before he eats up your pathetic moans with hungry kisses. 

He fucked you up so good, you didn’t even realise it until now. 

“S-San”, you manage out a whimper, “please…”

“Please what, sweetheart?”

You don’t even know what you’re begging for. 

“Please… you feel so fucking good. I’m gonna cum. It’s so fucking good”, you babble, trying to force your eyes open. 

San can’t help but smirk when his ego is being stroked so nicely like that, especially by you. He’s a good person, of course, he’ll give what his good girl wants. 

His thumb slides south on your body until you feel the ticklish sensation of him on your clit. Cream and precum pooling at the base of his cock makes it even worse for you—with every graze, his finger pressed onto your clit, the knot tightened in your stomach. 

Your nonsensical strings of words only push San to tease you more as he endearingly watches you break slowly when your orgasm builds up. 

Your body twitches, your back arches, your eyes roll back, white splashes beneath your eyelids. Your orgasm burning through you while you cry out San’s name and you twitch pathetically on his cock, letting your cream leak all over his wet cock. 

“Fuck. You’re such a good fucking girl for me, aren’t you?”, you hear San curse. He fucks you through your orgasm, the overstimulation building up. The sensitivity feels so fucking good. 

His hand catches your jaw, and he forces you to meet his eyes. 

“Wanna pump you full of my cum, keep you so fuckin’ full for days on end,” he huffs, “but not now, sweetheart.”

Not that you minded, but there’s a strange tinge of disappointment ringing at the back of your head. 

San thrusts into you a couple more times before he pulls out, his thick and wet cock resting on your pelvis, twitching as his hand takes over. 

Nothing can beat Choi San’s fucking face when he cums. He looks like he’s in fucking heaven, and he’s tearing up the sky because of you. His fingers leave light marks on your thighs, you hear him groan at such a low tone that your cunt flutters uselessly against the air. Translucent spurts land on your skin, but it barely registers in you—you’re too busy swooning over the way your Professor just cummed over your body. 

San’s high dies down, and he catches his breath, casting you a glance, red dusting his cheeks, before he reaches out for the tissue box to clean you up. 

A quick kiss on the lips before he goes on to collect all the papers all over the floor.

That night he drives you home, filling the space with light conversations as if he didn’t just railed you on his desk. 

It’s only when you reach home that you realise one important thing—San still has your panties. 

You know you shouldn’t be telling secrets to your colleague, especially when it’s about your fucking boss. But here you are, facing Jongho, who has his arms crossed in front of you. 

“What’s up with you and Prof?” You predict the words that leave his lips. 

You hesitate to tell him, unsure how you should even say it, where to even start. 

The worst part you knew clear as day was that nothing changed since that day. You chalked it off as San being swamped with assignments to deal with, that’s why the topic was never brought up again, but something still irked you. The only comfort you had was that the semester was ending, and so was your term as San’s teaching assistant. 

Maybe it was how it was meant to be. Just nothing more than that.

But when you realise the dreaded feeling prickling at the back of your eyes, you knew you were fucked. 

“I don’t know how to even start jjong”, you sigh. Jongho scrunches his eyebrows. 

You watch his expression switch from one to the other. You expected him to freak out at you, yell at you for unprofessionalism or something, but he doesn’t. 

“It’s so fucked up. But I just can’t help but wonder if he feels anything”, you mutter. The thought of you not being the only one he’s doing this with makes your stomach churn. But somehow, in the most twisted ways, confiding Jongho made you feel slightly better. 

“Well, looks like we’ll have to play that card I guess”, Jongho shrugs. “But you should mentally prepare yourself for the results, that’s all I gotta warn you. I just need your consent to play along.”

It’s a risky bet you’re playing, but drastic times called for drastic measures, right?

As the semester closes to its end, so does the workload. San feels a lot lighter on his shoulders, and while he’s grateful for his teaching assistants for lifting a significant amount of workload off him, the end of a semester meant the end of the working relationship between him and his teaching assistants. He usually doesn’t feel that much, considering he has had many teaching assistants in the past, but for some reason, he feels a sense of discomfort lodged in his stomach when he thinks about having to let them go.

Especially one of them. 

He sighs, removing his glasses from his nose and shutting his eyes while reviewing the exams. San feels like a fucking idiot when his eyes land on your empty desk, his frustration bubbling when you cross his mind again. 

Even though he pretends to keep himself busy by flooding his mind with work, somehow, you would bubble to the surface once more, pushing him into the pits of frustration when he’s reminded of the way you get a kick arguing and refuting him just to get a reaction out of him, the way you taste like sweetest thing on earth he’s ever tried and the way you completely unravel when San fucks every single thought out of you—

He bites his cheek. 

No. He has to keep it professional. At least, until the term is over. 

He just doesn’t know how to tell you. 

He knows he’s entered deep waters when he crossed the line that evening, the sight of you undone right before him snapping all his rationale. More than anything, he’s suffering the withdrawals, maybe that’s the punishment he has to bear. 

He glances at the colourful ticket at the corner of his desk. It’s Jongho’s big game. Even though he usually doesn’t let himself intertwine with his subordinate’s personal interests, it’s hard not to. 

In addition, you’ll be there. Maybe he’d snag you after the game and talk to you properly. 

The meeting ran overtime, San glances down at his silver watch, realising he’d missed almost thirty minutes of Jongho’s game. Despite the exhaustion, he pushes it aside and heads to the stadium. 

He watches the brightly lit scoreboard as he takes a seat on the bench, Jongho’s team is in the lead by one point. 

Somehow he gets wrapped up in the game, cheering when Jongho’s team takes championship as the benches all burst into loud cheers too. 

He gets up to leave, already thinking of drafting a text to congratulate Jongho in his head, maybe get him a small congratulatory gift on the side. 

Then he spots you, just rows below. Now, he’s walking down as if on instinct, to get to where you are.

San pushes past the crowd to approach you. He’ll offer to drive you back—he knows it’s all an excuse but anything to get you into his space once more. 

His arm outstretched, reaching out to tap your shoulder, then suddenly stopping when he sees Jongho appear right in front of you. That’s fine. San could just congratulate him at the same time—

Which all of those thoughts immediately disintegrate when he watches Jongho cup your cheeks with his hand, his eyes widening in complete silent horror as Jongho leans into you for a kiss. 

You seriously doubt that Jongho’s plan would work. Didn’t San decide not to come anyway? You heard it with your own ears too. 

Nonetheless, you pushed it to the back of your mind, focusing on cheering for your friend, watching the leading scorer jump from one team to the next. You couldn’t help but erupt into cheers when Jongho’s team won, screams echoing through the open stadium. 

You watch Jongho walk up to the benches where you are, and his arms wrap around you, his smile big and bright, competing with the stadium lights. 

“Congratulations, baby bear”, you tease, pushing against his shoulders lightly. Jongho inches close to you. 

“He’s behind you by the way”, Jongho mutters, loud enough for you to hear, but not long enough for you to process, because his hands are cupping your jaw, his thumb pressed against your lips. 

He hears you muffle some kind of question but your lips stay sealed. 

“You owe me one for this,” is the last thing you hear before he leans in. Your eyes widen in shock, and you freeze in your spot, even though his lips don’t meet yours, evidently separated by Jongho’s thumb, his action had caught you off guard.

You barely have the capacity to process what had just happened, and you feel someone’s warmth tightening against your wrist. 

Jongho lets go of you immediately, but you’re staring right at your professor, who is staring right at Jongho with an unreadable expression, with his fingers curled tightly against your wrist. It feels like an eternity since you saw him. He’s not wearing glasses today and his hair is down instead of his usual slicked-back look, donned with a simple dress shirt and tie which framed his wide shoulders so perfectly.

“Congratulations on your win, Choi Jongho. I believe you should be with your team to celebrate right?”

Jongho only smirks back. “Right. See you babe. Thank you, Prof. See you next week.”

Jongho casts you a glance, the mischief twinkling in his eyes before he turns his heel down the stairs and back to the field. 

What the fuck just happened?

And you find yourself staring up at the male before you, his gaze piercing into yours. 

“Prof—San?” You blink. “I thought you weren’t-“

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart. Why would I not want to see the cute relationship my teaching assistants have right?” His voice is laced with venom. 

San doesn’t really elaborate further, leading you to his car, sealing your fate once more when the passenger doors close shut. 

He’s all over you. His body is burning up, maybe just as fast as yours is, and it’s making you feel dizzy. His moves are aggressive, impatient and you swear you feel something else too—desperation. 

“S-San—“ you gasp, in an attempt to take control of something.

“It’s sir to you, sweetheart”, his voice low and gentle, but commanding. Goosebumps scatter across your skin, making you shiver in response when his palms slide up your waist. 

You never saw it coming—from the second his hand grabbed yours, pulling you away from Jongho, his eyes locked into yours for a moment before he turns to Jongho, then to the car ride back, where you noticed the way his knuckles turned pale from gripping the steering wheel. On the walk to his car, you asked him where you were going, and all he did was turn to you and reply, “We’ve got things to talk about, don’t we, sweetheart?”

Now you’re becoming undone once more under San’s touches, trapped beneath him like the first time, now at his place, on his fucking couch instead. 

“It was just foolish of me to just let it be, wasn’t it?” He asks. “Fucking you dumb on my desk wasn’t a good enough indicator, was it?”

“S-sir…!”

“And you think it’s cute getting all cuddly with Jongho? Letting him kiss you all over, touch you all over?” San mutters, his fingers wrapped around your throat, his grip tightening slightly and you’re sure he’s about to leave light imprints. 

But oh, was it so fucking exhilarating—the thought of Choi San riled up like that, a sight you’ve never seen before, and you’re not sure if fear or excitement running through your veins right now, but what you do know, is that if he finds out that your panties are completely soaked through, you’re fucking done for. 

His lips collide with yours again, branding himself as some kind of oxygen thief when he’s turning your mind into complete mush. 

“I’m not sure if it’s a little game to you sweetheart, but if it is, I think you need a reminder.”

You breathlessly look up at him, and he looks ethereal even when he’s panting and looking pissed as hell. 

“What reminder, sir?” You dare ask back. 

The side of San’s lips tugs upwards. His hand leaves your throat and trails down your blouse, effortlessly unbuttoning the apparel until he tugs it off you, panting at the sight of your tits hugged by your lace bra. Your bottoms are off again on the floor of his bedroom, alongside any ounce of rationale. Your soaked panties are agonisingly pulled off your legs, and before you know it, his hands spread them open too. It takes all of San’s self-control to not stuff you full. At least, not yet.

“It’s my cock you’re gonna cum all over. Even when you have another guy’s lips on yours, it’s my name you’re gonna fucking scream.”

Oh. Oh god. 

The pieces of what Jongho was trying to do suddenly come together, unfortunately, the realisation doesn’t last long because San has his lips greedily on yours again on top of the way his full-blown erection is pressing onto your pussy. 

“Sir”, you manage out a weak mutter when he finally pulls away, trying to press and grind against his clothed dick for some friction or anything to rid the burn that’s going through your body. But San remains still. 

“Use your words since you love using your mouth so much.” Like kissing Choi Jongho. 

Your mind is a complete puddle. 

“I really…fuck. I really need you to fuck me right now, sir”, you beg, red flushing your cheeks, but it’s not from the shame. There’s a feral glint in San’s eyes that you don’t miss. 

“No”, is all he answers, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach. 

“Not until I’ve fucked your mouth full, sweetheart.” 

All you can do is watch him speechlessly as he hooks his index finger on the knot of his tie and loosens it, unraveling it back to its original form. 

“Hands together”, he commands you, and you do so immediately, basking in the scent of his cologne while he leans into you, his hands tying knots around your wrists with his tie. “Don’t let it loosen, got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl. Now on your knees.” 

You’ve never dropped to your knees so fast.

San forces you to watch him unbutton and lower the fly of his trousers, and you’re just doing your best not to get drool on his expensive carpet. 

When his cock springs out, you’re also forced to watch him fuck his palm at a slow pace, drinking in his groans, slick staining your inner thighs, and the fucking floor next if you don’t do anything. 

His cock is heavy against your cheek when he taps it there, and your tongue slips out of your mouth by instinct, given experimental kitten licks on his slit, before his fingers catch your chin, and he forces you to look up at him. 

“Look at me”, he instructs. 

You do. You do your best not to break the eye contact, trying not to be sidetracked by his big fucking cock, but your eyes can’t help but dart to his appendage. 

“No, keep your eyes on me”, he redirects once more, his fingers fixing your head in place. 

Then he slides his cock into your mouth and pulls out a choked moan from you. 

“That’s it. Good girl”, he grunts when you start bobbing your head, fucking his cock with your mouth. 

His fingers trail to the back of your head, but he’s using all of his strength not to force your head down. 

But as you pick up the momentum, it’s an automatic reaction to push your head down so his cock hits the back of your throat. Your eyes are watering but fuck you feel like you’re in fucking heaven. Your head spins whenever his wet cock is forced down your tight throat, and you break eye contact a few times, which San has to tap your jaw to make you keep eye contact while he fucks your face. 

“I’m cumming, sweetheart. Fuck. Keep that pretty little mouth open for me yeah?” He groans, bucking his hips, letting streaks of warm white paint your throat and mouth, watching the way you’re looking up at him with doe eyes, taking his cum in your mouth like a good girl. His good girl. 

He smudges his thumb against the corner of your lips before his arms carry you up, only to dump you on the couch.

Your back is on the couch again, hands still tied behind your back and legs up with San pressing his body weight on you.

He props your leg on his shoulder, and he stretches you open inch by inch. You gasp when he fills you up, your walls immediately clenching around him. 

“So fuckin tight for me, sweetheart. You take me so well.”

His thrusts are growing more aggressive mixed in with the possession that’s bleeding in and it’s setting your whole body on fire. Your words are caught in your throat when he’s buried into you to the hilt. He groans at the way your pussy is fluttering pathetically against him. 

It feels so fucking good that nothing but stars engulf your vision when his cock stuffs you full to the hilt again. His name leaves your lips like a mantra on top of broken moans and whimpers, and it only makes San fill up the space in your pussy all the more better. 

His shoulders are so wide that he’s towering over you, his fingers forcing you to face him whenever you’re drifting because of the pleasure, his eyes feral when you look so fucked out for him. And when he combines his heavy thrusts with a squeeze around your throat, it makes your mind shut off and your cunt cream all over his dick.

“Good girl, looking all so fucked out for me.”

 His cock is hitting all the perfect spots, and it’s driving you insane with the knot tightening in your stomach at such a fast pace. You think you’re sliding off the couch but San isn’t letting you—especially not when his thrusts are keeping you on the couch. His name continues to leave your lips in broken moans every time he fucks you. 

San snakes his fingers to your scalp and he tugs sharply, enough to force you to look up at him. You’re tearing up again, and it feels so fucking good with the way he’s keeping your hair tugged while he fucks the ever-loving shit out of you.

“My name does sound much better when you’re crying it doesn’t it, sweetheart?”

You choke back a moan when he hits your g-spot once more.

“Y-yes sir.” 

“How are you feeling?”

“Full. So full sir. Want more. Please. Need you to ruin me”, you beg once more, your mind floating in an endless euphoria.

“Oh, I definitely will”, San hums, watching in sheer pleasure as your eyes roll back when his cockhead presses perfectly against your g-spot over and over.

Before you realise it, your orgasm hits you like fucking train, spreading through your body like a fucking wildfire, engulfing every crevice of your body. 

He’s gonna break you, and you’re fucking loving it. 

“San-“, you cry out, not registering the way he’s wiping the tears off your eyes. “So good. You feel so good. Cumming so much-“ 

“I know, sweetheart. It feels so fucking good doesn’t it?” He asks with a smile, satisfied when you nod frantically while he rubs your thighs.

Your thighs are shaking from how good this all feels, cream staining your inner thighs and his cock when he pulls out. 

“I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart”, San reminds you. 

He turns you over, keeping one hand on your tied hands, while the other pressing your head against the back of the couch. He lines his cock back to your cunt, pushing into your hole once more. You choke on your moans again, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes until he’s fully seated in you once more. 

The sounds are even wetter now, especially when you’re overstimulated, pussy just being so perfectly abused by Choi San. You fucking love the way his hands are around your neck, forcing you against the cushions when he fucks you dumb from the back. 

Your stomach is in knots once more, the feeling building up faster than the previous time, and all you can mutter is that it feels so good. San thinks you’re so fucking adorable when you’re not having banters with him and being this cock drunk for him. 

Then he pulls you off the couch, letting you catch a breath before he sits you on his lap, his cock still buried in your cunt, and starts bouncing you off his cock from below.

He alternates between melting your brain with his pornographic moans right at your ear and planting more love bites down your jaw. 

“Gonna cum again. You feel so fucking good in me. Oh god”, you hiccup through your tears, the sensitivity pushing your limit. 

“Cum as hard as you want, sweetheart. I’ll let you milk me dry, fill you up so fucking good that you’ll be leaking with my cum for the next two days.” 

That was enough to set you off. Your pussy convulses when your second orgasm hits, fireworks bursting in your eyelids, long drawn-out cries while San fills your tight cunt with his warm and thick cum, while his groans fill up in your ears. You feel his fingers massaging your thighs, coaxing you from your high. 

You’re dizzy, and light-headed as your head slumps against his shoulders, too spent to acknowledge the male behind you leaving more marks down your neck. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, sweetheart,” San breaks the momentary silence, well aware that his softening cock is still in you. 

Your hand flies up to his chest to stop him, even though you’re still recovering from seeing stars. 

“We need to talk-“

“After we clean up”, he cuts you off, lifting you off his cock and carrying you bridal style to his bathroom. 

But you’re stubborn. 

“N-no. It wasn’t what you thought it was”, you say, feeling your tears well up in your eyes on top of the weight. 

The prickles are starting to form at the bottom of San’s heart, but he’s more focused on trying to hose you down with warm water. But he’s listening you run your mouth, not that he minded. 

“We didn’t kiss”, you reiterate. 

Now he’s just confused. He stares at you. 

“We just had sex, y/n”, San reminds you, trying not to let the red reach his cheeks. 

“No—I mean Jongho and I. We didn’t kiss”, you clarify.

San doesn’t really know if he should believe your words or his eyes, but now he’s focused on lathering your hair and body. 

“That wasn’t what I saw”, he replies, avoiding eye contact. 

“That’s cause we did this-“ you huff, turning his head to face you, imitating the way Jongho had slid his thumb between your lips and his, demonstrating San the fake kiss. 

San only stares at you wordlessly when you pull back, only more questions than answers. 

“But why would he do that for?”

“He was trying to rile you up.”

“For what?”

“To see if you felt anything for me?”

“By kissing you?”

Oh god. It felt like the more you explained, the more San was getting the wrong ideas. You let your head sit in your hands, unsure if it’s from the embarrassment or the fact that you don’t even know where to start. 

“It wasn’t a kiss, Choi San”, you groaned, your hands leaving your face, suddenly self-conscious that San is staring intently at you. “After we, um, fucked the first time, you acted like nothing happened, and I felt like shit about it, and I told Jongho and then…” you trail off, feeling your cheeks heat up again. It’s probably the hot water, at least that’s what you try to convince yourself with.

“I don’t kiss people I’m not in love with, San”, you sigh in defeat. Your eyes are downcast, but you feel his fingers cup your cheeks, and his lips press onto yours. You swear you could go another round again. 

The silence hangs in the air for a while, only the sounds of the shower filling the emptiness when he pulls back. 

“I didn’t do anything since after that evening because I wanted to properly tell you after the term ended.”

“Tell me what?”

“That I’m in love with you, too.”

You blink. Somehow that shocked you more than the both times he fucked your brains out. 

You don’t answer him because your head is just swarming with so many thoughts, and San lets you do so, satisfied that he’s finally have you quieten down so he can finish washing you up. 

Even when he’s dressed you in his oversized hoodie, San peppers you with kisses, basking in the way you sometimes cover his face with your hands to stop him, which only rouses him to continue to attack you with his lips.

San’s arms are tight around you when the both of you are finally on his bed. You smell like his favourite body soap and he can’t seem to get enough of it—nuzzling against the crook of your neck, muttering sweet nothings. You think this is probably your favourite version of Professor Choi. 

Your fingers twirl around his splayed-out locks, and you speak. 

“Prof Choi”, you tease, and San looks up, and it’s the first time you actually see him pout—it almost makes you combust. 

“I told you to stop calling me that”, he frowns, burying his face, feigning trying to cut off physical contact from you, which only makes you laugh in response. 

“I just wanted to disturb you”, you respond, trying to yank him back into your arms. “I do have a question though.”

His head pops up from his pillows and he stares at you, waiting for you to speak. 

“When did you realise you had feelings for me?”

He pauses, giving himself a couple of minutes to think. 

“The moment I received your teaching assistant application.”

<divider> 

📚 Bonus Epilogue 📚

“Prof Choi!” One of his teaching assistants calls out to him. 

He turns his head and attention to her, pushing up his glasses. 

“Yes?” 

“I need help with this part of the assignment. Could you help me check that I’ve marked it correctly?”

San nods, taking the papers from her. 

As he scans through her work, the teaching assistant’s eyes glance down at the band hugging his ring finger. 

“Prof, you’re married?”

San pauses his writing to glance at the glistening gold on his finger, and a small smile spreads across his cheeks. 

“You know, I used to wear a ring on my ring finger so students would stop asking me if I was married or not.”

She raises her eyebrows, her curiosity piqued. “So you’re not?”

“I am.”

Her eyes brighten, invested in her handsome professor’s love story. 

“Tell me more then”, she asks. 

San scoffs playfully, turning his gaze to her. 

“All I can tell you is that she’s always been my favourite.”

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Lowkey, I Need You (To Move Out), 18+

♡ Pairing: Changbin x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: friends with benefits, friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, angst, fluff, smut with plot, mutual pining but especially lots of pining from binnie

♡ Word Count: 12k

♡ Summary: Changbin has a problem– he’s in love with his friend with benefits. And not only is he in love with her, but she’s also his roommate. Torn on what to do, the only thing he knows for certain is that something has to change soon– but is he even brave enough to spark that change, and risk their friendship?

♡ Warnings: miscommunication, but it's resolved quickly!, bin is lil insecure but we're here to make it better !!, gets a bit emotional because truly this is a love letter to changbin and how much i adore him

♡ Smut Warnings: multiple smut scenes, switch!bin with a heavy sub lean, as usual changbin is an extremely soft and perfect lover, pet names (baby, bun, bunny, honey, sweet + good boy), oral (m + f rec), fingering (f rec), nipple play, begging, a tiny bit of edging, spit as lube, cock warming, unprotected piv, creampie, praise kink, body worship, face sitting

♡ Notes: this was written in response to the topic of binnie being excluded, because as a bin biased girlie it's my job to show out for him when he needs the extra love! i've been wanting to write a fwb for SO long and in true changbunnies fashion this turned out longer than i intended it to be but i just had so much fun writing it and giving binnie the attention he deserves, so i hope you enjoy it too !!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

What do you do when you realize you've fallen in love with your friend with benefits? And what do you do when said friend is also your roommate? The conclusion that Changbin has reached is simple: spiral.

Well, not that spiraling is an actual choice in this scenario– he can't stop it from happening despite how desperately he wants to. He knows you aren't looking for a relationship right now, that you like what you have together because it's casual and fun.

You swore off dating apps and relationships after having your heart broken one too many times, and the only reason you're friends with benefits with Changbin is because you trust him– a trust that he is loath to break by dropping the revelation that he's fallen in love with you.

You were away from your shared apartment for the past week and a half, on a trip back to your home town to visit family. It was exhausting, but fun enough when your parents weren't driving you up the wall by pestering you with questions about when you're going to start bringing a boyfriend back home with you, you told Changbin on the phone last night whilst packing to come back to the city.

He hated the way his heart sank to the pit of his stomach when he considered the fact that he'll never be the boyfriend going home with you to meet your family. And he wants to be, fucking hell, does he want to be yours.

He wants to tell you he loves you and have it mean something more than the platonic love between friends, to take you on dates and freely hold your hand when walking through the city streets together, to share a bed with you for more than just a fuck.

How many times has he wanted to pull you back to him when you start to get up from his bed? To reach out and beg you to stay when you start to get dressed? To knock on your door late at night and lay everything out on the line because the way it keeps him up at night is becoming unbearable?

Fuck, he can't keep dwelling on it– you've been on your way home since this morning, and you're due back any minute now. It'll be disastrous for Changbin if you walk through the door and realize something's off with him.

His heart twisted when he checked his phone and saw a new text, one excitedly telling him you're almost home and that you've missed him– but was it really him you missed, or just fucking him? He didn't know anymore, and he was afraid to find out.

Changbin jumps when he hears the lock to the front door click, taking a breath to calm his racing heart as he rises to his feet to help you with your luggage and welcome you back home. 

He’s spent enough time spiraling over what to do this past week, he can’t afford to anymore; not if he wants to keep his sanity intact, anyways. He can do this– once you get settled, he can have a heart to heart with you, and everything will be fine. Even if it’s too much to confess his feelings, surely there’s a way to go about things where you’re both still happy, right?

Changbin did a lot around the apartment to make it perfect for you upon your return– cleaned and dusted every common room until they were spotless, made sure not a single dirty dish was left in the sink, emptied every trash can.. He even unclogged the drains and scrubbed the tub! He just wanted to make sure you didn’t have a single thing to do, that you could just relax and unwind in clean comfort after your trip. 

But you don’t spare a single glance around the apartment once you enter– you look just at him, smiling as you kick the door closed behind you, and drop your luggage to the floor to squeeze him into a hug. 

He blinks a moment in surprise at how quick the action is– he didn’t even have the chance to get a word out before you were on him. Still, he quickly returns the hug while trying his best to prevent the happy, almost relieved sigh you let out as you bury your head into his chest from giving him false hope.

“You really missed me this much?” Changbin asks with a small giggle– why is he even asking? So much for not giving himself false hope. He just blurted it out without thinking, really; but he can’t pretend the way you affirm it doesn’t make his heart swell. 

It was the longest you’d ever been apart from Changbin since moving in together, and it put a lot of things into perspective. Like, you really did miss him, of course you did, he’s your friend! But there was something more– you don’t think you’d ever missed someone so fucking badly before. 

Like, staying up all night because you can’t stop thinking about him type of ‘I miss you.’ Wanting to text him or call him at all hours of the day just to check up on him and ask what he’s been up to even though you’re supposed to be focusing on your family and reuniting with childhood friends.

You missed everything about him– his smile and cute laugh, the way he smells, his big arms wrapped around you and squeezing you close. You wanted to hear his voice again, and not through the grainy speaker of your phone, wanted to see him without your parent’s shitty old wifi connection lagging your call, and making him pixelated and blurry.

Changbin is your home, you realized; wherever he is is where you want to be. As long as he’s there, you’d have everything you need to be happy. Is that too sentimental of a feeling for just friends? Probably– but you weren’t ready to get your heart broken again just yet. Better to hold onto him for as long as you can, before he cuts things off to start dating again.

But of course, you can’t deny you also missed him in other, less than innocent ways. The squeak he lets out when you surprise him with a kiss, the cute way he blushes and giggles when you compliment him or call him his favorite pet name, the way he’ll easily drop to his knees for you the moment you tell him you need him. 

He never cares what he’s in the middle of or what he needs to get done– if you tell him you want him, he’s ready for you, eager to please. Even if he loses sleep, if it makes him late for work, if it means the food on the stove is going to burn– none of it matters if you need his tongue on you. And you’ll reward him, you always do; with sweet words and touches that makes his heart feel like it’s going to beat out of his chest while his cock throbs.

“Missed you more than you know,” you say in a near whisper, pressing your lips to his like you’ve been eager to do since walking through the door. Changbin practically melts when you kiss him, as always; he just can’t help it– he’s forever going to be putty in your hands. 

Was he right in his fear that you only missed him for the sex? Maybe, but he can’t even dwell on the idea anymore– not when the urgency in which you start touching him underneath his shirt while sliding your tongue in his mouth makes him weak at the knees.

Fuck it, maybe that is all you want him for these days, but he’d never stop giving you what you want. Use him over and over, run his heart into the ground when it’s done, what does it matter? At least in this moment he’s yours, even if it’s only temporary. 

You grab Changbin by the waist and turn him around, pressing his back against the front door to the apartment. One of his feet very nearly gets caught up on your luggage on one of his steps back, but you kick it to the side, away from the two of you. His sound of surprise is muffled by your mouth on his, as is his gasp when your hands travel up to squeeze his pecs.

You can feel his body shudder when your thumbs brush over his nipples, letting out a whine when you pinch them between your fingers. He’s breathless by the time you pull away, watching you with that eager look in his eyes that makes you crazy for him. “B-Baby, what are you-” he tries to ask as you fall to your knees, though the last word dies in his throat when you look back up at him with a smile. 

He still remembers the first time he slipped up and called you “baby.” You were on top of him, riding him so good that all he could do was babble on and on about how good it felt while gripping the bed sheets beneath him. “S-So good, oh my god, baby, it’s– you’re so good, feels so good,” he whimpered, whining loudly when you stopped moving to just look at him.

Changbin was going to ask why you stopped, beg you to please, please keep going, but then it hit him all at once– he called you ‘baby’ when it was never something either of you had done before. And instantly, he looked up at you utterly mortified with himself, ready to apologize over and over again for crossing the line in your friends with benefits relationship.

While the arrangement didn’t come with strict rules, such as no kissing for example, he still was concerned that it was a touch too far in the ‘romantic relationship’ direction. But to his surprise, and relief, you smiled at him, calling him sweet names in return after picking your pace back up. You continued to try out names, gauging his reaction carefully until you found the one that seemed to make him react the most.

And now here you are, looking up at him with his cock pulled out of his sweatpants and throbbing in your hands, calling him the name that turns his brain and body to jelly. “Want to show you how badly I missed you, bunny,” you told him before pressing a lingering kiss to his already leaking tip, his pre-cum smearing over your lips.

Thank fucking God you pressed him against the door, because if he didn’t have the support he’s pretty sure his legs would’ve given out. It’s not often that you’re the one on your knees for him, and the sight is so erotic it makes his brain feel like it’s going to melt out of his ears– not to mention the way you’re talking to him on top of it.

“So hard and leaky already,” you comment gleefully, sticking out your tongue to lick over his tip, “you missed me too, didn’t you, bun?” 

“Y-Yeah, missed you, I missed you so much,” Changbin replies breathlessly, struggling to keep his hips still and not rut against your hands. He bites his lip, restraining the whimpers that threaten to endlessly spill when you open your mouth to take him in.

You don’t waste any time getting the corners of your mouth used to the stretch, or for Changbin to get used to the feeling after having gone without it for so long; you take him all at once, until his tip is touching the back of your throat and your nose is pressed against his pelvis. 

His head falls back against the door as he squeezes his eyes shut, slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the obscenely loud moan you draw out of him. Normally he pays no mind to his volume because he knows you prefer him loud, but he’d be beyond embarrassed if any neighbors walking the hall heard him just on the other side of the door. 

You swallow around his length, and it takes effort to not gag given how thick and heavy he is, but you manage just fine. Breathing through your nose, you stroke his cock with your tongue whenever you need to give your throat a tiny break, sometimes pulling back to take a bigger breath and let more air into your lungs before sucking him into your mouth again. 

Changbin cards his fingers through your hair, but doesn’t pull– just holds your head in an effort to ground himself. His thighs are trembling, and he’s seemingly given up on trying to be quiet, or is simply too far gone to care anymore, the hand he was using to cover his mouth now clenched into a fist at his side.

“W-Wait, wait, baby, please wait, don’t wanna cum yet,” he pleads as his stomach clenches, the twitching and throbbing of his cock growing more in intensity. He’s lifted his head from the door, looking down at you now and meeting your gaze as you blatantly ignore his request and continue to swallow him down your throat.

“Please, please, your pussy– want your pussy, honey, please,” he tries again, chest heaving as he begs, the fingers threaded through your hair now clenching into a fist as well, but still, he doesn’t pull you off him. That’s one of the things you like most about Changbin– he’s so strong that it’d be easy for him to make you do whatever he wants, but he doesn’t. 

Even now, as desperate as he is to be inside your pussy, he’s obedient, first and foremost. How can you resist giving him what he wants when he’s so sweet, perfect and well behaved? You pull off him with a loud ‘pop,’ watching the way his cock throbs pathetically against his stomach as his impending orgasm begins to ebb away.

You expect him to take a longer moment to recover, but even with how breathless he is, he’s leaning down to pick you up from the floor. You can’t help but let out a squeal as you’re lifted from the ground– you know very well that Changbin is strong, but it always surprises you how effortlessly he can lift your weight. Excites you too, if you’re being completely honest. 

He has you in a full princess carry, one arm supporting your back while the other is under your knees. You know he won’t drop you, but you wrap your arms around his neck anyway for the extra security. He shows his appreciation for you with so many kisses over your face that you can’t help but giggle, and he holds you tighter when his kisses cause you to squirm in his grasp.

“Don’t tickle me with kisses when I can’t escape you,” you half-heartedly complain, and he giggles with you, pressing one more to your nose before he starts walking away from the front door. “We’re going to your room,” he informs you, figuring that’s where you’d prefer to me after having been away from home. 

Your luggage lies forgotten on the floor as he makes his way past the open kitchen and living room, and into the hallway leading to your rooms. Standing in front of your door, you lean in his grasp to twist the door knob, and he gently nudges the door open further with his foot. Your bedroom is just how you left it a week and a half ago, and Changbin sets you down on your bed carefully.

“Are you going to undress yourself for me?” you ask with an expectant tilt of your head, and he blushes ever so slightly as he shyly giggles and nods. It never fails to make him a little shy when you watch him undress like this, but he also takes pride in the way you look at him. Hungry, but somehow still tender and sweet. 

He starts with his sweatpants and underwear, considering his cock is still out from when you pulled them down just enough to get it out. Kicking his feet out once they’ve fallen to the floor, his shirt is next, and he very quickly pulls it up and over his head. “My baby,” you coo at him after beckoning him closer, and it makes his head spin. 

It’s the first time you’ve used a possessive term with him. Your baby.. Yes, whether you know it or not, he’s yours. Only yours. 

“You’re so handsome, you know that?” you continue, smiling when the pink on his flushed cheeks deepens, “And sexy, and adorable, and lovable.” You love complimenting him– even before you were friends with benefits, you’d tell him sweet things whenever you could. It took him a long time to grow into himself and get comfortable and confident in his own skin, and he deserves the pride and joy he feels now. 

Lovable is a new one, and he tries not to let it root itself inside his head– you certainly do love him, but just as a friend, he knows it. You’ve always been sweet to him, and he’s certain that your doting on him and sweet gestures increased only because of the slight change in your relationship, and no other reason. 

Regardless, does the reason matter? You’re complimenting him earnestly, and that’s enough. Even if it’s said without romantic intent, you do mean it– and that’s all he needs, really.

“Help me out with my own clothes now, won’t you, sweet boy?” you ask, and he gives you an excited nod that makes you giggle again. You lift your back off the bed so he can help you with your top and bra, then lift your legs so he can help you out of your pants and underwear when you let your back fall against the bed again. 

He kisses you the entire time he’s getting you out of your clothes, only breaking away when he has to. “Gonna get you ready for me,” he breathes out near the shell of your ear before planting a kiss there, and then trailing them down your neck. He slides his hand between your legs as he does, and you spread them apart for him to make his task easier for him. 

You both know you can handle the sting from his cock stretching you out, sometimes you even crave it– but you can never deny his desire to be sweet to you. If he wants to stretch you out on his fingers first, you’ll let him do it every time. 

“Oh, honey, you’re so wet,” he gasps as he runs his fingers between your folds. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise, really– you always get soaking wet when you and Changbin are being intimate. Still, it always surprises him as much as it did your first time together; he supposes there’s a part of him that still can’t believe you’re this physically attracted to him, even with how much you shower him with compliments. 

Of course, if you knew he had that thought, you’d shower him with even more of them, until there wasn’t a single doubt left in his mind. He’s perfect, truly; there’ll never be anyone who can compare to Changbin.

You don’t need him to start slow or careful, but he does regardless, starting by pressing just one of his fingers to your hole before sliding it inside. He knows you can take more at once, would even enjoy the sting that would follow, but he wants to be good to you! When you’re full of him, so thick that you’re full to the point it’s almost too much, he wants it to be pure bliss. 

Changbin pumps his finger in and out of you slowly, waiting until he’s certain you’re about to start whining for more before adding a second, and after just a little more he’s adding a third. He keeps his fingers still for just a moment, making sure you’re well adjusted before he starts to thrust them in and out in the way he knows you love.

And God, even though it’s you that’s getting fucked right now, he feels like he’s going a little crazy. He’s so addicted to the noises you make, the way your breathing starts to hitch and turn more shallow, how your eyes roll back when he hits that gummy spot inside you. You’re so fucking slick, and squeezing his fingers so tight that he can barely even think straight– not that he was entirely to begin with. 

Is it just because it’s been over a week since the last time you were together? He never thought himself so insatiable or easily worked up, but fuck, you just unlock something in him. He’s had sex plenty of times before you started sleeping together, had plenty of fun experiences with different partners, but only you make me feel so.. needy.

“Binnie, baby, want your cock now, give it to me, please,” you whine, voice impossibly pretty and breathless. “Ah but– are you sure, baby? Don’t want me to make you cum first?” he asks as he slows down the motion of his fingers. 

“We’ve both waited long enough, haven’t we?” you ask, rhetorical; it’s much more a statement than a question. You look at his cock, still leaking steadily and impossibly hard, and then look back to Changbin’s face. “Let’s cum together. That’s what I want,” you tell him, and you can’t help but notice the way his cock twitches from your words in your peripheral. 

Of course, he can’t resist doing whatever you want– especially not when there’s a promise to cum together at the end. So he slips his fingers out of you, and before he can even ask what you’d like him to do, you’re putting your hands on his shoulders and guiding him to his back. 

He falls to his back easily, swallowing as he watches you crawl on top of him. You’ve done it countless times at this point, but it never stops being sexy and exciting to watch. Your hands planted firmly on his chest, and your legs straddling his body, you move your hips back and forth, rubbing your pussy up and down his length to get it wet. 

His tip rubbing against your clit feels so fucking good too, but that’s not why you’re doing this; so you quickly move on before you get carried away and end up grinding on him until you cum. Reaching your hand between your bodies, you grab his cock at the base and angle it where you need it. 

Changbin watches with eager eyes and bated breath, his hands holding your hips for extra support. Even when you start to slowly sink down on him, and you’re both gasping and breathless from the pleasure, he’s careful to not squeeze you too hard. He’s always so tender and careful, even when doesn’t need to be, and you love him for it. 

And true to what he hoped, there’s no sting when you’re fully sat on him, the stretch nothing but pleasurable for you. Because of this, it also means you don’t have to start slow– and so within just a few short moments, you’re bouncing on him rapidly, leaning down to kiss him as you do. 

He has long since stopped being embarrassed about the noises you draw out of him, whimpering and moaning freely as the pleasure seeps into every pore of his body. Your tongue once again slips its way into his mouth, and he meets it eagerly with his own, happy to slide it around yours. 

Bouncing on his cock, and kissing him like this, he can’t help but be reminded of the very first time you slept together. You had just freshly agreed to the friends with benefits arrangement, both of you lonely and in need of some intimacy, but being done with relationships for the time for your own reasons. 

You took the lead, and it was the first time anyone ever had– he was so used to being the macho man in charge for his lovers, that he found it interesting and exciting that you wanted to be the one in control. You told him what to do, how to do it, praised him and guided him along, had him lay down while you crawled on top and did all the work for him after you were ready to take his cock.

And to his surprise, he instantly liked it– loved it, even. He never considered before then letting someone else have the leading role in bed, but after you started, it just felt natural. And when you leaned down and kissed him in that moment, when everything was so different for him and exciting, it felt like everything shifted, like the entire world titled on its axis. 

Maybe he’s been in love with you since then, but only fully realized what he felt recently. Maybe he’s been in love since even further before, but didn’t have the tools then to put that feeling together, because the line between friend and lover can sometimes be blurry. Maybe he’s been a fool this entire time, and continues to be one now– because he knows what he feels now for certain, but is still too scared to admit it to you. 

He’s thankful that your tongue in his mouth prevents him from speaking– because he’s certain if it wasn’t, he’d end up saying something he shouldn’t. It doesn’t stop him from having the thoughts internally, however.

“You’re so perfect, I love you, I love you so much, I need you, need you to need me, love you,” his brain is screaming as his orgasm approaches once more. The noises leaving him growing more in volume and desperation is enough of a warning for you on its own that he’s close, but you can feel him throbbing too, eager for release after how close he was to cumming earlier.

You reach your hand between your bodies once more, this time to rub your clit with your fingers. It makes your pace falter a bit, but Changbin is more than used to helping you in the last stretch like this. He helps you keep your pace with his hands, and thrusts up into you in time with the fall of your hips onto his.

“C-Cumming, oh, bunny, you’re making me cum,” you whimper, biting your lip and furrowing your brow as the circles you draw on your clit grow messy. You gasp when your orgasm hits you, your breath catching in your throat as your mouth hangs open in a silent cry. Changbin was already close, and the way you squeeze around him as you cum unravels him too. 

His cum shoots inside you, hot and sticky, his entire body trembling as he whimpers and whines beneath you. He’s not sure when he closed his eyes, but when he opens them he sees you looking down at him with such a beautiful smile that he truly feels like he died and went to heaven– because fuck, you’re an angel. 

Changbin reaches a hand up, tucks your messy, fallen strands of hair behind your ears, smiling when you coo and call him a “sweet boy,” again. You let your body fall against his chest, resting your head in the crook of his neck as you close your eyes and let out a content sigh. “Baby?” he questions, giggling a little when you mumble about being tired against his skin. 

“We have to get you cleaned up,” he reminds you, though the way he strokes your back surely doesn’t give you any motivation to get off him. “And you need to go to the bathroom before you fall asleep!” he adds, and you hum an acknowledgment, but still make no effort to crawl off him. Instead, your body relaxes even further, and soon enough you’re not even responding to him talking to you anymore.

You’ve fallen asleep much quicker than Changbin would’ve ever expected; he’s sure you’re tired from the days you spent away and the trip back home, and the fact that you fucked him immediately upon getting home likely didn’t do you any favors in keeping the fatigue at bay.

But he’s still here in your bed, beneath you, your body warm and soft and entirely limp as serene snores leave you. He’s not sure if he should try to wiggle his way out from under you, or just stay like this and sleep together. He knows what he wants to do, but.. he’s never spent an entire night in your room, nor have you done so in his.

And all he can think about while he looks up at your ceiling with you in his arms is how much he loves you but can’t tell you.

Fuck. What does he do now?

It’s been days since Changbin has had the chance to speak with you, but whether or not that’s entirely a good thing remains to be seen– because even with the distance to sort himself out, his mind remains addled and plagued by the desire to be with you as a lover. 

Thankfully, you haven’t noticed anything off with him– mostly because the distance since arriving back home was due to your own need to catch up on sleep, unpack your belongings, and get ready to go back to work and resume life as usual. Whenever you’re not sleeping, you’re busy, and that works for Changbin– or it was supposed to, anyways.

All he’s done the last few days is get back into his spiral. Confess his feelings or not, risk your friendship or keep everything to himself, move out before he loses his mind or stay until the day you decide you’re done.. He wishes there was a simple, easy answer. More than that, he wishes he could guarantee that you’d stay with him if he laid his feelings bare for you.

And he misses you. You’re only a room away across the hall, but he misses you. And he doesn’t fucking know what to do with himself anymore. He’s been trying to sleep for hours now, but all he can do is toss and turn and think about you, how bad he needs you– not just emotionally, but physically too. Because the moment he started thinking about you, it was only a matter of time before he began to reminisce about the sex you’ve had. 

Is his brain fucking against him, or what? As if it wasn’t bad enough he was in a spiral over the possibility of you rejecting his feelings, now he can’t stop thinking about how pretty you looked after your shower this morning. He only saw you in passing, as he had to head out for work and you had to get back to catching up on the work emails that piled up in your inbox while you were away, but God..

If it wasn’t for the fact that you really needed to get your work done before going back to the office when the weekend’s over, he would’ve dropped to his knees right there in the middle of the hallway and eaten you out until you were begging him to stop (or forcing him to by pulling his hair.) He wouldn’t even have cared about his own job– Chan would forgive him, he always did.

And truly, this is agony. Worse than agony, it’s torture. He needs to go take a cold shower and calm the fuck down so he can start thinking rationally again– as rationally as he can manage to in his lovesick state, anyways. With a heavy sigh, he throws his blankets off himself and reaches for his glasses on his nightstand. After putting them on, he rises from his bed, hoping the shower will be enough of a reset to let him get some sleep.

Opening his door, he’s surprised to see you’re awake. Well, he can’t see you just yet from the hallway, but he can see that the lamp in the living room is turned on, and can faintly hear the tv playing lofi focus music. And even though he probably shouldn’t, he can’t resist walking over to check in on you. 

He can hear you typing away on your laptop as he gets closer, and you look away from the screen and turn your head in his direction when you hear his footsteps over the softly playing music. “Oh, Binnie!” you smile at him, and it’s so genuine it makes his heart flutter. He’s so fucking screwed. “Couldn’t sleep?” you ask him, taking a small break from responding to emails to give him your attention.

“O-Oh, yeah, well I was trying to sleep, but..” he trails off when he sees you glancing down his body, to the painfully obvious erection straining against his shorts. “Had a problem?” you finish for him, and his face instantly flushes red. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve caught him with an erection, but it always makes him feel so perverted when it happens this way. 

“I can help you,” you offer, shooting him that pretty smirk that always turns him into jello. Fuck, you’re a siren, and he’s helpless to resist you. But still, aren’t you busy? As much as he’s willing to fuck up his own work performance for you, he’d feel terrible if his neediness made your own work harder for you. 

“I-I was going to shower and take care of it myself, but I saw you were awake and I just wanted to see what you were doing and.. Anyways, you don’t have to! Seriously, I know you’re busy! It’s okay, I don’t-” he babbles, and you giggle at him. He’s just so cute, especially when he’s trying his best to be considerate to you. 

“C’mere. I can’t help you right this minute but good boys like you know how to be patient, right? You can sit pretty here until I’m done with my emails?” you ask, patting the spot next to you on the sofa. Shit, you always know just what to say to him. 

He listens to your siren song, coming to where you beckon him to sit like the obedient boy you know him to be. “Take your cock out for me, baby,” you instruct, and again he listens, not a single ounce of hesitance as he slides his shorts down enough for his erection to spring free. He watches as you set your laptop on the coffee table and stand up, curious as to what you’re doing.

Changbin gulps when you slide your own shorts down your legs, as well as your panties, and fuck, he’s excited, but more than that he’s confused. He thought you told him he’d have to wait until you were done with your emails.. So why are you undressing already..? 

Maybe this is to keep him hard and eager– make him sit there with a view of your bare pussy so that by the time you’re done, he’s desperate and begging for you. Maybe you want to test the limits of your “good boy,” see how riled up you can make him while you work until he snaps and bends you over the sofa, taking you as he pleases. 

You stand in front of him with your back facing him, and though it’s a bit awkward and challenging, you reach behind and take his cock into your hand. “Spit on it, get it wet for me,” you tell him, and though his mind is still reeling from the unexpected development, he does as you ask. 

You spread his saliva around his length as best you can with your fingers, and when you’re content, you carefully press his cock to your hole. It takes you a second to get the angle right thanks to the position, but once you’ve got it, you slowly start to sink down. Changbin gasps and whines, bewildered by what’s happening right now. “B-Baby, I- what- what are you doing? I thought- I don’t-” 

“You’re still going to wait,” you tell him after you’ve fully sat in his lap, doing your best to keep your voice steady and firm despite how deliciously his cock is stretching out. “Be good for me, and stay still ‘til I’m done, okay? And then I’ll take care of you,” you tell him, and again he whines, as he watches you lift your laptop from the coffee table and set it back in your lap. 

It’s a little awkward to type like this, but you think the fun that’ll result from it is worth it. Changbin eagerly nods his head, but then he remembers that you can’t see him in this position, so he speaks the best he can. “Y-Yes, I’ll be good for you,” he says with a shaky breath, biting his lip when you squirm ever so slightly to get more comfortable.

You lean back into him, his chest pressing against your back, his face close enough to your neck and shoulder that you can feel his labored breaths tickling your skin. He hears a click on your touchpad, opening a new email he assumes, followed shortly by the sound of keys resuming as you respond to it. 

Why is this so fucking hot? His dick is fully pressed inside you, and you’re not even paying attention to him– just continuing to type away on your laptop as if he’s not even losing his mind beneath you. Or should he say behind you? Both? 

He bites his lip and closes his eyes, trying his best to keep staying still like you told him to, his hands clutching the sofa cushions to keep them from wandering without permission and distracting you from your work. 

And God, he’s trying so hard to be quiet too, but it feels so impossible. The more you type away and click open new emails, the more he throbs. And the more he throbs, the more your pussy reacts by squeezing around him. And then he can’t help but whimper, his eyes rolling back when you adjust in his lap and cause the tiniest bit of friction. 

Click, more typing. A few more clicks, more typing. Click, click, more typing. How long has it even been? Since the moment you sank down on him and started working, he feels like he’s lost all sense of time. All he knows is that your pussy has been squeezing him so good– and it’s so wet now too. Is it just as exciting for you as it is for him? Do you like it? Or is it how good he’s being for you that’s making you soak his cock? 

“B-Baby, are you almost done? Please tell me you’re almost done,” Changbin whines, the desperation in his voice palpable. You chuckle as you click send on another email, wishing you could see his face right now– you’re sure he’s absolutely debauched. “Not quite,” you answer, and you can practically hear the pout in his whine.

Changbin is many things, but impatient and disobedient is not among the list. And he’s trying so, so hard to keep staying still, but he doesn’t think he can take it much longer. Honestly, you’re not sure if you can either– you’re quickly losing focus on your emails, and you’re fairly certain at least a handful of them were written less than professionally. 

Still, you click open another one, trying not to react to the way he desperately whimpers. He can’t be bad, he can’t– so his only option is to keep sitting here, and take it. “You’re- you’re almost done now, right?” he asks after another few minutes of waiting– at least, it felt like that to him. For all he knew, in reality it could’ve been more like 30 seconds. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Can’t wait anymore?” It’s a bit of a mean question, you know– especially since you already know the answer. But still, it’s fun to ask, and you love how whiny and breathy his voice has gotten in the time you’ve been sitting on his cock. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m really trying, I just- I-I’ve never wanted to fuck you so bad before, I’m going crazy,” he practically cries, and you’re sure that if you turned around, you’d see his plump lips formed into the cutest, most devastating pout. “But I’m- I’m good,” he continues after taking another shaky breath, “I won’t move, not unless you tell me to, I promise.”

Fuck it– you still have work, but who cares? Surely your boss will understand if you couldn’t get to every email right? You got through most of them, and that counts for something, doesn’t it? That’s the justification you give yourself anyways as you close your inbox. 

“You want to fuck me, Binnie?” you ask him, and he eagerly nods just as he did before, remembering again at the last moment that you can’t see him. “Yes, yes! I really, really want to,” he replies, letting out a salacious moan when you start to lift off him. You shut your laptop and place it back on the coffee table before you turn around to look at Changbin.

Just as you expected, he looks deliciously debauched. Lips swollen and bitten red, face flushed, eyes sparkling with hope and desire as he looks up at you. “You’re right baby, you’re good. Such a good boy,” you coo at him, leaning down to kiss him sweetly. “How do you want me?” you ask him when you pull back, and his brain has to work overtime to stop itself from short circuiting from the question.

If you’re letting him pick, there’s one clear answer that’ll make him the happiest. “Lay down- on your back, please. Want to look at you, want you to look at me,” he says, and you smile at him as you lay back against the sofa, spreading your legs so Changbin can crawl between them. He kisses you as he takes his cock in his hand, pressing it against your hole before pulling away to look at you for approval.

“Go ahead, fuck me, bunny,” you encourage him sweetly. A shiver runs down the length of his spine as he starts to push back inside you, another obscene whine from deep in his throat leaving him when he’s fully inside. He leans down to kiss you again when he starts to fuck you earnestly, because that’s all he can think to do with his overwhelming wave of emotions. 

He’s thrusting fast from the start, all the pent up desperation and need for you pouring out of him ceaselessly. Your eyes always stay on his, even when he hits your spot in the way that normally makes them close or roll back, and it makes him crazy how you’re catering to his desire to have you looking at him.  

Your eyes are so pretty, so warm in the way they look at him. Everything about you is warm– your hands when they hold him, your body when it envelops him, your voice when you speak to him. The way you smile at him when he enters the room, the way you laugh at his stupid jokes, it’s warm, all of you is so, so warm. You’re home, you’re comfort, you’re bliss.

He feels like he’s unraveling in his entirety as he looks down at you, his pace quickly growing sloppy as his cock throbs. He can’t handle the way you’re looking up at him, can feel the tears threatening to well up in the corners of his eyes. He’s so overwhelmed by it all– by the pleasure, by the way you look lying beneath him, by how much he loves you. 

“You’re so beautiful, oh my god,” he whines, every thought that’s been running through his mind falling from his lips as he squeezes you in his arms. He knows he should shut up, should bite his lip or slap his hand over his mouth before he says something he shouldn’t, but the words just keep pouring out of him. 

“You’re so pretty, so fucking pretty, I can’t take it sometimes,” he continues, whimpering when you bring your fingers to your clit and start to squeeze around him tighter. “You- you make me so crazy, you’re perfect, so perfect, and- God, ‘m so close, love you so much, I love you,” he stutters, his eyes rolling back as he feels you start to cum with him. He presses his cock fully into you one last time, his cum spurting out in thick ropes until you’re full.

He’s panting, glasses fallen down to the tip of his nose, body trembling as he slowly starts to come down from the high. “Binnie,” you call him softly, and it’s not until he opens his eyes and looks at you again that what he said hits him like a ton of bricks.

He told you he loves you. While he was fucking you. He told you he loves you.

There’s no way to turn it out around as platonic in this scenario– it’s so fucking obvious how he meant it. To say he’s mortified is an understatement; and when he tries to speak, all that comes out are pathetic stutters, every explanation he wants to offer dying in his throat. Your eyes are watery as you look at him, and suddenly his throat feels impossibly dry, his hands clammy as he pulls out of you. 

He fucked up so bad. He ruined everything, he knows he did– this isn’t how he wanted to tell you, he wasn’t even ready to tell you. And now you know, and you’re looking at him with so much concern he feels like he’s going to shatter. Not anger, not sadness, but care– a care entirely different from what he’s seen on you before.

It’s pity, isn’t it? You don’t share the sentiment and you pity him for blurting it out like that. “You love me?” you ask him, your voice soft but cautious, unsure. “I..” Changbin tries again, but honestly he just wants to cry. Every emotion, every word, lodged in his throat and stuck, but still he tries to explain himself. “I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean-”

You’ve always loved Changbin. Since the early days of your friendship, you’ve loved him. How could you not? You’d never met someone as sincere as him, his every action so affectionate and caring. A gentleman through and through, always making sure the people he loves are taken care of, always the first to offer a helping hand when someone is in need. 

But you’d given up on the idea that you could have something more so long ago– and becoming friends with benefits with him told you that he didn’t love you romantically. He was the first to offer, and people don’t offer that arrangement if it risks their feelings getting exposed; so he didn’t love you that way, you were certain. 

You told yourself you were okay with that. You were done with relationships, so tired of having your heart broken after pouring all of your love and faith into someone. And sure, you’d be heartbroken again when Changbin inevitably decides to move on, but at least it was a heartbreak you accepted would come, you’d be ready for it– that’s what you always told yourself.

But he loves you? Like, is in love with you? And he’s mistaking your surprise, your teary eyes, your struggle to wrap your head around the fact that he loves you as much as you love him as rejection. You can see it in the panic in his eyes, the way he stumbles over his words, the tremble in his voice– he thinks you don’t love him. 

How could he ever think you don’t love him? 

“Changbin, I-” you try again, and somehow the fact that you’re using his full name hurts worse; it's like a confirmation that you’re done with him, with this. It’s irrational, but the part of his brain that’s trying to talk sense into him is drowned out by the panic and fear of rejection, as if he can protect himself from the pain by accepting the fact that you don’t love him now before you say it out loud. 

“I need- I need a minute, I’m so sorry,” he blurts out, because even though he knows it’s coming, he can’t bear to hear it yet. He scrambles up from the sofa, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill as he rushes back to his room. He falls to his bed, burying his face into his pillows and lets out a trembling breath. 

Tomorrow.. He can’t avoid this, knows he needs to accept it sooner rather than later, but for this tiny moment, at least until tomorrow, he’s still yours.

Changbin isn’t avoiding you. At least, not on purpose– he just hasn’t gathered the courage to leave his room yet. He feels a bit like a hypocrite; he prides himself on his communication skills, and yet in the face of an honest conversation and acceptance of rejection, he flounders. Is he pathetic? You’d have every right to think so. 

Are you going to move out now? Should he? No, he should stop beating around the bush and just talk to you. You’re not in love with him, but you do love him– and that’s supposed to be enough, he told himself so many times that it is. 

You can work past this, can’t you? It has to be possible. He just doesn’t want to lose you, even if it breaks his heart he can take not having you romantically, is totally fine without the sex– but losing you as a friend? He can’t bear that.

He sighs, covering his face with his hands as he lies in his bed. He slept like shit, and he’s sure you didn’t fare much better– a thought that adds to the guilt he feels. But fuck, he needs to face this. The only thing that would be worse than losing you as a friend because being friends with benefits blew up in his face would be losing you because he was a spineless coward. 

Changbin grabs his phone, checks the time– it’s still early in the morning, but you’re usually awake by now. With another sigh to steel himself for what’s to come, he gets up from his bed and faces his door. He takes a breath, another attempt to calm his nerves, and walks to his door, quickly twisting the knob and pulling it open. 

“Oh!” you squeak in surprise, jumping where you stand before him. Changbin jumps too, with his own little shout of surprise coming out. How long were you standing outside of his door? Were you trying to work up the nerve to talk to him too? You blink at one another for a moment, and to Changbin’s relief, you’re the first to crack, letting out a little giggle. 

He giggles too, and though it’s a bit awkward given what happened late last night, it’s a relief that you’re not mad at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Changbin explains through his giggles, and God, your smile is so cute. You cover your mouth as you try to stop giggling, eyes crinkling and sparkling as you look at him, “No, no! It’s my fault for standing outside your door like this.” 

It eases him, feels more like the normal he’s used to with you– the normal he hopes and prays you can still share after this. “Can I come in?” you ask him, and of course he lets you, stepping to the side so you can enter his room. Your body language is still relaxed, but when you look at him again, your expression is serious.

Part of him worries that the lighthearted moment you just shared was a lapse in judgment on your part, and that you’re about to chew him out for running away last night– not that he wouldn’t deserve it if you did. But what you actually end up saying is a much stronger shock to his system. “Why do you think I don’t love you?”

“Wh-What? I-I.. I don’t-” Changbin stutters, blinking at you in utter shock, not even entirely sure how to respond.

“Because I do. I love you so much, Seo Changbin. The idea that you think I don’t hurts me,” you tell him, entirely sincere. That’s the part of his impromptu confession that kept you up at night, the part that upset you? Not that he loves you when he shouldn’t, or that your friendship might be ruined?

“If you think you’re not enough for me, you are– if you think you aren’t deserving of love, you are. Tell me what it is, so I can make sure you never question how much I love you again. Okay? I need you to promise me that.”

Changbin blinks, frozen, a million thoughts and emotions running through him. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t know the answer. There was such a big chunk of his life where he wasn’t happy with himself– the way he looked, the soft parts of his personality, his desires that felt so grandiose and impossible.. 

He thought he had to live to what other people expected him to be, that it was the only way they would love him. It took him years of effort, of stumbling and falling and getting back up to get where he is now. More confident in his body, in the way he walks through the world, in the love he pours into his family and friends.

But there’s that part of his old self that still lingers– a part that calls to him late at night, that makes him question if he’s allowed to be this happy. That reminds him it’s still there when he’s weak and unsure, that crawls up his spine whenever you smile at him, that won’t let him believe that you could love him. 

Changbin isn’t the same lanky, insecure boy he was when he first met you, but maybe he is. He looks different than he did then, but maybe that part of him is still there, underneath the built up muscle and maturity. Maybe it always will be, maybe there’s no way to ever make it go away– but maybe he doesn’t need to.

He thinks of all the times you were there for him, from the very first day you met. How you always encouraged him to do what makes him happy, how you supported him through his every decision to better himself. 

“I think you’re perfect the way you are, but if going to the gym would make you feel better about yourself, you should do it!” you told him when he brought up the topic of trying to bulk up and fill out his body. “You’re so adorable Binnie, seriously, how can you be so cute?” you grinned, pinching his cheeks the first time aegyo slipped out in front of you. 

No matter which version of himself he showed you, you loved him. Each part, no matter how different and against expectations, you cared for. And even with all the work he put into himself, there was still the part of him that tried to change in his romantic and sexual relationships. Trying to live up to what he thought his partners wanted, trying to adapt himself to them. 

But so effortlessly, you dismantled the expectations he put upon himself. All the times you called him sexy and adorable in the same breath, made him believe that he could be both at the same time– that he could be manly and intimidating, sweet and loving, sexy and cute all at once, and it was all still genuinely him, all worthy of love.

Maybe it’s impossible to shove insecurity completely aside; it’s likely that it’ll always linger. Even when it’s small, and tucked away, and very nearly forgotten, it’ll be there, waiting. And maybe that’s okay, because when you have someone who loves you as you are, who reassures you and listens to you and comforts you, it’ll start to fade back out as naturally as it came in.

“I don’t know why,” he answers honestly, his bottom lip starting to quiver. His best guess is that his fear of losing someone he loves so much expounded upon his underlying insecurities, made them flare to the point that he felt like he could drown in them. 

“I just know that I love you. And I need you, and not like- not like that, I just- ..I never want to be without you,” he continues, refusing to get choked up by his emotions and let it stop him from saying what he needs to. “And I promise- I’ll tell you, anytime I’m unsure of myself, I’ll tell you.” 

You step closer to him, reach up and cup his face in your hands, rub the tears that threaten to fall from the corners of his eyes with your thumbs. His heart skips a beat when you smile sweetly at him, when you lean towards him to press a soft kiss to his lips, to tell him you love. “You said I was perfect,” you say as you kiss him again, and then again, “but so are you. You’re the loveliest person I’ve ever known.”

You press more kisses over his face, complimenting each feature as you go. His deep, dark eyes that can be so piercing or so soft depending on the situation. His full cheeks, so cute and endearing when they’re pink from a blush, but so handsome and complimentary to his face. His downturned smirk when something amuses him that can easily turn into a fully bright upturned smile when he’s happy, and makes his nose scrunch adorably. 

“Honey,” he breathes in a soft whine, unsure of what to do with all the excess affection. You guide him back to his bed, crawling atop him when he falls back against it, continuing your trail of kisses down his neck. “You deserve this,” you tell him, smiling against his skin when you feel him squirm beneath you, “deserve it all, and more.”

Changbin brings one of his hands to the back of your neck when you pull back to look at him, bringing you back down to him so he can kiss you. He doesn’t want to hold back anymore, to try and hide how badly he needs you. He kisses you like a man starved, hungry and desperate. His desire is carnal, every inch of him aching for your attention. 

Your hands sweep over his torso, finding the hem of his shirt and tugging at it. He gets the hint, and separates from you so you can take it off him. He watches you remove yours too, heart thumping in his chest as you reach behind you to unhook your bra. He tries to lean up to kiss you again when you’re finished, but you push him back down.

He whines at first, but quickly swallows it down when you smile at him in that pretty way that makes his stomach flare with butterflies, his cock twitching as it hardens beneath you. Your hands travel his body, compliments about each and every inch of him freely falling from your lips. His arms, thick and warm and comforting. His chest, so strong and beautifully sculpted. His stomach, soft and cute, as perfect as the rest of him. 

You kiss him too– everywhere your fingers touch, your lips follow. Soft, tender, overwhelming– his heart is beating so fast and hard, all your words, touches, and kisses make his blood feel like molten lava, every inch of him unbearably hot. It chokes him up too, how sweet you’re being to him; you’ve doted on him plenty of times, but never like this.

You take one of his hands in yours next, bring it up to your lips to press achingly soft kisses to it. The palm first, and then his wrist, before you turn it over to kiss his knuckles. You kiss the tip of each of his fingers, and his breath hitches as he watches you, goosebumps erupting all over him when you gently put it down and pick up his other hand to repeat the actions. 

You treat him with so much reverence, shower him with more love than he knows what to do with. He’s trembling with emotion, aching with desire, overwhelmed by how much he loves you, how beautiful you look. He’s going to cry– seriously, he doesn’t know how much more he can take before tears start spilling out of him. 

“Honey, please-” Changbin whines, and to his relief, you pause to look at him. “Please, I- let me make you feel good, please? I want to, I- I want to show you how much I love you too,” he begs. You intended to take care of him, to shower him in affection until you inevitably made him cum, but you meant it when you said you can never deny him his desire to be sweet to you.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” you say, and you watch as he chews on his bottom lip, face heating up further as he considers what to say. He knows what he wants, he’s thought about it so many times– it’s just the admitting and asking for it part that makes him a little shy. Still, you treat him so well, and you always indulge him, so.. The only thing to do is just go for it. 

“I want.. Want you to sit on my face. Please? Please, please sit on my face,” he begs, and God, that has to be the sexiest thing he’s ever begged for. It makes your stomach flip, and if your legs weren’t straddling him, you definitely would’ve clenched them together. Lifting yourself off him, you make quick work of the remainder of your clothes. 

Changbin scoots down the bed, so your legs will have more room when you return to him, chucking his glasses away, not nearly enough care in him for where they land. He looks at you, with a devastatingly sweet and bashful smile, his arms reaching out to help you when you start to settle above him. Your knees on either side of his head, he wraps his arms around your thighs. 

The latter half of his face is obscured by your body hovering over him, but looking down, you can see his eyes, sparkling with eager excitement as he keeps your gaze. You lower yourself just a little, nervous to sit your entire weight on his face and suffocate him, but Changbin doesn’t want you to hover, he wants you to sit. 

So using the arms he has wrapped around you, he pulls you fully down to him. You gasp– partly because of the surprise, and partly from the feeling of his tongue meeting your pussy. He focuses on your hole first, lapping up all the slick that drips out of you before he drags his tongue up to your clit, licking in a long, fat stripe.

He wraps his lips around it, sucking and flicking it with his tongue until you're writhing above him before he alternates back to licking you up, bottom to top, drinking all you offer. You bury your fingers in his curly hair, and he moans when you tug on it. He squeezes your trembling thighs, letting out happy hums whenever you moan for him.

He sticks out his tongue and lays it flat for you when you start to roll your hips, letting you grind against his face and use him however you see fit to. You shiver when your clit bumps against his nose, your breaths becoming harsher as you drive yourself closer to release on his tongue.

“Oh bunny, you’re so good to me, so good, ‘m gonna cum for you,” you cry, voice whinier than you would’ve otherwise liked it to be, but the way Changbin whines eagerly in response tells you how much he loves it. A few more rolls of your hips, and you’re cumming, your thighs squeezing around his head as you keep a tight grip on his hair to keep yourself steady. 

Changbin enthusiastically laps up your release, continuing until you're squirming and whining from the sensitivity. He loosens his hold on your thighs when you do, letting you lift your leg over his head and fall to the side of the bed a little ways away from him. Both of you are breathless, but Changbin is the first to recover, and when he does he sits up and crawls over to where you landed.

He grabs your face, gently, of course, and pulls you into a kiss. His face is slick with your essence, and you can taste yourself all over his lips and tongue. “You looked so pretty,” he tells you softly between kisses, “You’re so gorgeous when you cum for me.” He carefully spreads your legs and slots himself between them, sliding his tongue around yours as he does. 

“Want to give you my cock now,” he breaths, pulling away just enough to look at you with those eager, pleading eyes that make you weak. “Want to keep making you feel good, want to- want to watch your eyes roll back when I make you cum again.” 

“Sweet boy,” you coo, spreading your legs wider for him, offering yourself to him, “do it, baby. Give it to me.”

He kicks off the remainder of his clothes in record time, taking his cock in his hand and spreading the dribbling pre-cum over his length until it’s completely wet. You’re more than ready for him, but he’s as careful with you as always, pushing each inch inside slowly. 

You reach out to him and pull him down to you, kissing him hard and sweet, drinking in the whimper he lets out when he’s fully inside you. His entire body is trembling, still worked up from all the attention you gave him and sensitive from fucking you just last night. There’s a part of him that still feels vulnerable too, but he’s safe with you, and he knows you always will be. 

He loves you well, but you love him better; and he’ll spend every moment he has showing how much he appreciates you. He doesn’t need to prove his worth, doesn’t need to do anything apart from be himself– the love you’ve given him has shown him that. You understand him, better than anyone ever has. 

You love him, you always have, long before who he is now, and will continue to long into the future. All he has to do to repay all you’ve given him is love you. Love you honestly, openly, freely– because he’s enough as he is.

When he starts to move his hips, you both moan, Changbin just the slightest bit louder than you. He tucks his arms under your shoulders and pulls you closer to him, chests touching as he steadily builds a faster pace. He’s squeezing you in his arms, whining in your ear about how good you feel around him.

He’s so high-strung and sensitive that he doesn’t think he’ll last long, but oh, is he going to try. But shit, he’s still so emotional too– he thought he would’ve recovered by now, but it keeps hitting him in waves. And when you kiss him, it makes him dizzy– not just with lust and desire, but with passion, adoration.

The way he looks down at you when he pulls away takes your breath away, so sentimental and loving. You take his face into one of your hands again, and it takes everything in him to not get choked up again. Your love is his greatest comfort, but it also makes him ache– because no one has ever loved him as sincerely as you do. 

“Do you need to stop?” you ask him tenderly, once again wiping the tears from his eyes. His heart feels like it’s going to burst from all the emotion, but he quickly shakes his head, offering you a sincere smile, “N-No, no, I’m fine! I just- I really love you,” he admits, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips to show you he means it.

“And besides, I might go actually insane if I don’t fuck you, cause seriously, how are you so fucking sexy?” he follows up. “Oh, shut up,” you giggle, playfully slapping his arm. “This is supposed to be about you, you know? My sweet bunny and how perfect he is- maybe I need to remind you?” 

Changbin curiously tilts his head at your words as you lock your legs around him and using what strength you have, and with the help of gravity and momentum, you force him to roll to his side, and then to his back. You smile down at him, your roles easily flipped, while he stares up at you, mystified and easily the most turned on he’s ever been. 

“Oh-” is all he manages to utter, his cock throbbing furiously inside you. He could’ve easily fought it– he’s physically much stronger than you, after all. But he just loves when you force him into the positions you want, loves to be malleable and pliant for you. 

You plant your hands firmly on his chest, bouncing on his cock fast, the sound of your thighs slapping together just barely louder than Changbin’s obscenely loud whimpers. “Oh God, ‘m gonna cum,” he whines desperately, too wound up and sensitive to resist it, his hands clutching at the bedsheets so hard his knuckles have turned white, “please, please please, can I, please? Please, let me cum.” 

“I love you so much, Binnie, want you to cum for me,” you tell him, bringing one of your hands to your clit so you can cum with him, the way he always loves to. It causes you to squeeze tighter, and he gasps, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he trembles. “Give it to me, baby, be a good boy and cum for me.”

He does just as you ask, a messy string of “I love you”s falling from his lips until he’s too far gone to keep talking, tears streaming down the sides of his face as his eyes roll to the back of his head, and then close. His noises are high-pitched and pornographic, his entire body shaking with the intensity of his cum spilling inside you.

His vision is blurry when he starts to blink open his eyes, but soon enough you come back into focus above him, looking down at him affectionately. He smiles at you, a goofy, sweet one that makes you giggle. He wraps his arms around you and drags you down to him, pressing kisses to your lips over and over again. 

Changbin tells you everything he’s wanted to this entire time as he does; how beautiful you are, how much he loves you, how he can’t imagine his life without you in it. He blushes when you do the same, while once again making him promise he’ll tell you if doubt ever starts to creep up on him. 

The journey to loving yourself isn’t easy; it’s a long winding road, uneven and easy to stumble on. But when he falls, you’ll be there to catch him. You’ll remind him how loved he is, the value he has simply in being, how he brightens every day you share just by existing. 

You’ll always be here, growing older with him, supporting him as he continues to grow and change, each experience turning him into a newer version of himself. And in every change, in every season of his life, you’ll continue to love him. Always.

network tags: @ksmutsociety @skzstarnet

Our Shared Melody

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Wife!Reader, IdolHusband!Hongjoong, Idol!Ateez

Summary: Ever since you got together with Hongjoong and married him, he never hid you. Despite being an idol, he took pride in showing you off and showered you with love. But now, you're both taking the next big step in your relationship and of course, he wants ATINY to be a part of it too.

Word count: 6.1K

9 months ago...

The light streaming in through the small gap in the curtains woke Hongjoong up. He frowned slightly, annoyed to be woken up. Before he could even open his eyes, he reached his hand out, only to touch the cold mattress.

"Huh?" He lifted his head up, poking one eye open to make sure he wasn't dreaming. But he wasn't, your side of the bed was empty, pillow made up and sheets cold to indicate you left early.

"Babyyyy~" He groaned out to you, hoping you could hear him. Sometimes, if you woke up first, you would cook and clean.

"(y/n)?" He called you again but there was still no reply.

Hongjoong finally sat up, taking his phone to check the time. It was nearing 11, you both weren't morning people so you wouldn't be up and about. And today, you and Hongjoong were off work.

'The number you have dialled is currently unavailable. Please try again later. Thank you.'

Now, Hongjoong was worried. He frowned and chewed on his bottom lip, sending you a text to ask for your whereabouts.

You were never, not contactable, especially on your off days. It was a safety paranoia thing that Hongjoong had when he went public with your relationship. Now, you were not answering his calls and messages on the day you were supposed to just stay in bed with each other. He was worried.

"Seonghwa. Seonghwa!" Hongjoong knocked on the dorm door. Your shared apartment with him was upstairs so he could easily go downstairs to the other members' dorms.

"Tch, the other two are sleeping. What's all the noise about?" Seonghwa opened the door, clicking his tongue.

"(y/n)'s missing." Hongjoong said. Seonghwa frowned, letting Hongjoong's words sink in.

"What do you mean by 'missing'?" Seonghwa yawned as he stepped aside to let the captain in. He had just woken up and was obviously not understanding the gravity of the situation.

"She wasn't there when I woke up. Our plans today was to stay in bed. She's not answering her phone too." Hongjoong informed.

"Okay, don't freak out. I'm pretty sure she's just busy or can't hear her phone." Seonghwa said, sitting on the couch.

"No, Hwa. Ever since we've started dating and got married, she knows how I worry about her safety, especially when she's out on her own. She would at least leave a note or text, something!" Hongjoong paced up and down.

"Something is wrong, I know it. I feel it." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. From all the noise, San and Mingi woke up, coming out to see what was going on.

"San, you're one of her favourites. You try to call (y/n). She's missing." Seonghwa said.

"MISSING?!" San's eyes widened as he fully woke up at Seonghwa's words. He ran to his room to get his phone.

"Ignoring what you said about San being her favourite. Yes, one of you try to contact her and see if she answers." Hongjoong instructed. San nodded and tried to call you.

"Voicemail..." He frowned and tried to send you a text.

"You know, hyung. Maybe she's just out and busy, can't come to the phone." Mingi voiced out.

"No, Hongjoong says he feels like something is wrong and he's barely wrong when it comes to these feelings. Ah, don't you have that couple tracking thing for emergencies? If her phone is active, you can see where she is." Seonghwa turned to Hongjoong. Hongjoong's eyes lit up at the reminder.

"You're right." Hongjoong took his phone out to check. Luckily, your phone was still active. Although, when the ping showed where your location is, Hongjoong's eyes widened and his body froze.

"Where is she?" San asked.

"T-The hospital..." He went pale as a sheet. They wasted no time, Hongjoong borrowed San's coat and a pair of outing pants.

"I'll go with you." Seonghwa said. Hongjoong nodded and they went downstairs, taking one of the group's vans and driving to the hospital where you were.

"I-I think that's her." Hongjoong pointed, seeing your back, slumped on one of the benches under a tree.

"Wait. Hongjoong ah, I know you're worried and possibly angry but try to keep your cool until we find out what actually happened, okay?" Seonghwa stood in Hongjoong's way, hands on his shoulders.

"Okay." Hongjoong nodded. He walked over to you with Seonghwa trailing a little behind him. As he stood before you, you looked up and jumped with a gasp. You have never looked so afraid of him before and it was evident you have been crying.

"Hongjoong..." Your words came out a whisper.

"W-What are you doing here?" You asked him, eyes trailing over to Seonghwa behind him.

"Baby... I should be asking you, what are you doing here? You scared me, you weren't there when I woke up and you weren't answering your phone. I thought something happened." He said.

"I... I'm sorry, Hongjoong." You burst out crying, burying your face in your hands. Hongjoong immediately gathered you in his arms.

"What's there to be sorry about? Hey, whatever it is, we'll get through it together." He comforted.

Now, you were really scaring him. He rubbed your back as you cried into his shoulder. Seonghwa felt sad too, he wanted to comfort you but he stayed back to give you two space.

"I..." You couldn't get your words out so you decided to show him instead. Your hands shook as you fumbled for something. Hongjoong gave you some distance and helped you undo the strings of the manila folder you had with you. Digging into the contents, you took out something and handed it to him.

You watched as Hongjoong momentarily took his hands away to hold and see the items. Seonghwa looked over his shoulder, a soft gasp escaping him. You studied Hongjoong's expression and reaction.

"You don't know what that is, do you?" Seonghwa asked. Hongjoong looked up at his friend, shaking his head slightly.

"I'm pregnant, Hongjoong." You revealed.

"Y-You're what?!"

"You're gonna be a dad, Hongjoong ah." Seonghwa chuckled, slapping his friend on the arm and pulling him in for a hug. Hongjoong's body flopped, still ridden with shock.

~

6 months ago...

"Yeah, she thought I was going to be mad at her and leave her for getting pregnant! Am I that scary? You know what, don't answer that..." Hongjoong rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, I'm not that heartless. And I didn't even know what I was looking at when she showed me the scans. Seonghwa had to tell me what it was... Don't laugh at me! How was I supposed to know?" He argued, reading at ATINY's comments.

After the first trimester, you and Hongjoong decided to tell the fans the big news. Most of them have been supportive of you since the beginning so you wanted to share the happy news with them.

"(y/n)? She's just resting now. Morning sickness has not been kind to her." He smiled.

"The doctor said it should get a little better soon as we have passed the first trimester." He explained, leaning on his arm.

"Wish her all the best, ATINY, give her your strength." He fist pumped. It did hurt him seeing you suffer from the bad effects of the pregnancy and that he couldn't help.

"Do the boys know? Of course they know! They're very excited. They always want to see pictures after the check up." He chuckled.

"Wooyoung even tried to sneak into the check up appointment, saying he was the father." He scoffed.

"Yes, now I'll have 7 kids to take care of. But I have (y/n) and Seonghwa with me to help. Imagine being a kid growing up with all of them, I know it is just going to be loud and chaotic. But the boys... they'll shower the baby with so much love. I know ATINY will too." Hongjoong smiled softly.

"What's been the hardest?" Honjoong read.

"Hmm, besides the morning sickness... (y/n) has some weird cravings. I try to buy what I can but you know I can't cook..." He said.

"Wooyoung and Seonghwa have been doing some cooking for her weird combinations. We're grateful, all the boys help care for the baby like it's their own." He laughed.

"Oh! Another hard thing is the hormones. You know, she cried the other time cause I took a piece of her cutlet?" He scoffed.

"What? Now ATINY is scolding me..." All the ATINY were shaming him for stealing from a pregnant lady.

"No, that's not true! I'm not mean, I was just sharing, we always share food! And I didn't think she would CRY! There was a whole other place of cutlet... Yah, ATINY, aren't you being too biased now?" Hongjoong pouted in jealousy.

"Nickname for the baby?... I don't know, we don't officially have one yet. Mingi started calling the baby 'bun'. So everyone kind of calls the baby 'bun' now." Hongjoong sat up.

"No, not shortform of bunny. Bun... as in the bread... Mingi named my kid after his favourite bread..." He sighed.

"Yes, (y/n) agrees that it is cute too..." Hongjoong nodded reluctantly.

"Ah, can we please pick another nickname? I can say that ATINY picked it so no one can argue with me to change it." He threw his head back with a groan.

"Ooooh, you're all so creative." He leaned forward to scroll on some of the suggestions.

"I'll keep note of some of these suggestions. Little TINY? Baby TINY? That's cute." A fatherly smile appeared on his face.

Since the start of all this, you and Hongjoong have learnt to just ignore those haters and their hate comments, letting all the supportive and loving comments cover them up. It wasn't always easy but the both of you expected that.

"Oh, so actually, besides coming on here to talk to ATINY and update all of you on how baby TINY is doing, there's another reason. But it's a surprise." He informed.

"Okay, I won't keep you guys in suspense any longer. Come." Hongjoong took the phone and went out.

"Hi there~ I'm live with ATINY." He saw you moving around the living room, busying yourself with something. You looked up at him.

"Oh, hello. Hi, ATINY~" You waved to the camera, shifting slightly to hide behind Hongjoong.

"Why are you hiding?" Hongjoong chuckled. There were days whereby you just felt a little gross, especially after throwing up from morning sickness, you didn't want the fans to see you.

"There's no need to hide. See? ATINY says you look great. You're glowing, baby." He said to you. You shyly bowed your head.

"Did you tell them yet?" You asked. Hongjoong shook his head. All the comments flooded in, wondering what this surprise that Hongjoong mentioned was.

"No, it's not a gender reveal yet. That's going to be later, in a month or two. Ah, I can't reveal the surprise. What if the person we're surprising is watching the live too? That will ruin it. You'll just have to see ATINY." Hongjoong laughed. You never actually thought about that, nodding when you realised he was right.

"I'm sorry, ATINY. I do want to tell you so you can be in on it though..." You sighed.

"What? No! You can't tell them." Hongjoong moved the phone away, as if you were really going to tell the fans.

"This is my surprise. You can't ruin it for me." Hongjoong sulked. You rolled your eyes and patted his head, disappearing, presumable to retrieve some stuff.

The sound of the doorbell ringing filled the house. Hongjoong's eyes widened in excitement as he scrambled to put the phone down.

"I'll go answer the door." You chuckled.

"Can you still see? I need to hide the phone. It'll be obvious if he can see that we're recording." Hongjoong said to the fans, putting the phone on a shelf and using some items to block it.

"Hey, (y/n). How are you feeling?" Seonghwa appeared in the doorway with bags in his hands.

"I'm feeling a little better. Just tired... the usual morning sickness." You chuckled.

"Hongjoong told me you were craving this candy. He didn't say which flavour you liked so I got you all the flavours. The others will eat the ones you don't... want... What's going on with the both of you?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, seeing you stand with Hongjoong.

"Thank you, Seonghwa." You giggled. He nodded his head slowly, still confused at what was going on and why the both of you were acting so weird.

"We have a present for you, Seonghwa ah." Hongjoong said. Seonghwa pointed at himself.

"Here you go." Hongjoong handed the box over to him.

"Umm, okay. Thanks?" Seonghwa cast the both of you a suspicious look before sitting down on the couch to open the box. When he saw the contents, his jaw dropped.

"Me? Are you sure?" He looked up at the two of you.

"We both agree that there's no better person." You giggled. Seonghwa teared up and stood up to hug Hongjoong.

"ATINY has been watching this." You went over to grab the phone from the shelf where the fans were watching, showing them how the two oldest members were hugging each other and crying.

"So the surprise was that we asked Seonghwa to be the future godparent to our child." You showed ATINY the box. There was a picture of the most recent ultrasound, with a speech bubble that said 'will you be my godfather?' taped to it. And Hongjoong included some cute onesies and bibs inside.

"You'd think with my pregnancy hormones, I would be the one to cry first." You joked. Seonghwa broke away from Hongjoong and pulled you into a hug.

"Thank you, thank you so much. I'll protect him or her with my life." He promised.

"If anything were to happen to us, we know you and the others will take good care of our child." You smiled, patting his back.

"This baby will be the luckiest baby out there with an amazing father, godfather and all their uncles." You said to the camera Hongjoong was holding, putting your hands on your small bump.

"ATINY agrees. And also, we are now calling the baby, baby TINY." Hongjoong informed.

"That's cute. But Mingi might still continue to call him or her 'bun'." You pointed out, making Hongjoong roll his eyes.

"I still don't know how I feel about him naming my kid after his favourite food..." He facepalmed.

"It's cute! But right now, all I'm thinking about is how you're going to break it to the others that you chose Hwa as the godfather and not them. You just know a fight is going to break out so good luck with that, captain." You patted him on the shoulder.

~

4 months ago...

You felt your heart racing with excitement as you were escorted backstage by one of ATEEZ's managers. You greeted everyone as you passed them.

Today, you went to find out the gender of your baby. You didn't tell Hongjoong for a few reasons.

He has a concert to rehearse and prepare for so you didn't want him to feel guilty for not accompanying you to the appointment.

You talked to the boys about surprising him at the concert with a gender reveal and they were onboard

"You can wait in here. There's a monitoring screen you can watch. Let me know if you need anything." The manager told you. You nodded with a grateful smile as he left. The others boys, knowing you were coming, made the room comfortable for you with fluffy pillows, snacks and drinks.

'Are you here? - Yunho'

'Yes, I am. Manager nim just brought me to the room all of you set up for me. Thank you so much. - (y/n)'

'You're welcome! If you need anything else, just tell us and we'll try to get it for you. What the lady captain and baby TINY wants, they shall get hehehe - Wooyoung'

'That's really sweet of you. Thank you. I'll see you all later. - (y/n)'

You watched the concert, sad that you only came midway because you were preparing for the surprise. But you were glad the fans on social media were giving you loads of updates and content.

Hongjoong looked good performing and in all his costumes, it was funny he didn't even know you were here.

The plan was right when Hongjoong announces they will be performing their last song, they will surprise him with a recording of you where you will reveal your baby's gender. Then you'll walk out and surprise him.

"They're on the second last song." The manager came back in to get you. You stood up and walked with him.

"Be careful." All the backstage crew made sure to remove wires and items that you could trip over. Holding onto the manager's hand, he led you to one of the wings.

"So, ATINY, unfortunately we will be performing our last song soon. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves tonight." Hongjoong said.

"Nooo!!!" All the fans jeered, not wanting the concert to be over.

"We don't want this to end too. But I promise we will do this again." He chuckled and all the other ATEEZ members nodded in agreement, waving to the fans.

"Without further ado-"

"Hi, Hongjoong." Hongjoong froze at the sound of your voice. He whipped around to see your video playing on the big screen.

"Wait, what's going on?" He looked at his members, who were just looking at the screen with smiles on their faces, meaning he was the only one that didn't know what was happening.

"Just listen, hyung." Yeosang spoke into his mic.

"I bet you're surprised, aren't you Hongjoong? Hello, ATINY. Sorry for interrupting the concert. I hope you have been having fun, I wish I was there to enjoy the concert as well. I know it must be sad that the concert is coming to an end soon but you know, ATEEZ will always come back to ATINY."

At your words, the fans all cheered and screamed loudly. Hongjoong smiled, he didn't know what was going on but was happy of how supportive you truly were.

"So today, I told our dear captain that I was just going for a regular check up to see how baby TINY was doing. Which, by the way, they're fine." You stood up, showing your small bump.

"But Hongjoong, what I didn't tell you was that I know the gender of our baby now..." You smiled.

"Wait, what?!" Hongjoong yelled into the mic.

"Yes, the other ATEEZ boys are in on it too. We planned this surprise together for you and for ATINY." You laughed. Hongjoong turned to his bandmates, who laughed too.

"You guys knew?" Hongjoong asked them in disbelief. The 7 of them nodded their heads.

"Alright, let's get to it. By the way, the ATEEZ boys don't know the gender before you, they're finding out together with you so don't be too mad! Wow, why am I feeling nervous now?" You rubbed your hands together nervously.

"Congratulations, Kim Hongjoong. You're going to have... a daughter!" You revealed.

Suddenly, there was fireworks everywhere and there were cheers everywhere. Hongjoong covered his face as he broke down crying. The other boys came to hug him.

"It's a girl!" Seonghwa yelled into his mic happily. Hongjoong was so busy crying he didn't notice Jongho getting you.

"Hello, ATINY." You said into Jongho's mic and waved.

"Baby?" Hongjoong looked up to see you walked over with Jongho. Hongjoong dropped everything and ran over to give you a big hug. He cried and showered you in kisses.

"So now you have 6 sons and 1 daughter to raise." You joked. The other boys came over to hug the both of you.

"Congratulations!"

"Yay! We're getting a sister!" San laughed. You wrapped your arm around Hongjoong, holding him as he continued to cry. One arm held you while his other hand rested on your bump. He continuously chanted 'thank you's in your ear. Even if he was happy with a son or daughter, you knew he wanted a daughter.

"Who else thinks the captain's daughter is going to have him wrapped around her tiny little finger?" Mingi asked the fans with his arm raised, who all shouted loudly.

"Let's hope she's as pretty as her mother." Wooyoung teased, making Hongjoong lift a leg to kick him.

"That's not very exemplary behaviour as a father, hyung." Yunho added on, wagging his finger at the captain in disapproval.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." You whispered to Hongjoong.

"Mm-mm, don't apologise, baby. This surprise was even better, I can share it with ATINY and the others. It's more than anything I could have asked for. I'm over the moon, thank you." He kissed you.

"Awww." The boys cooed making you blush and hide your face in Hongjoong's chest.

"Thank you for all your well wishes, ATINY. I'm glad you could be a part of this journey with us and our baby TINY." Hongjoong said to the fans, straightening up and holding your hand. You reached over to cup his cheek to wipe his remaining tears.

"You're going to be a great dad, hyung." Yeosang said. The fans erupted in cheers of agreement.

"Question is whether Seonghwa hyung is a godmother or godfather?" Jongho asked, making the others erupt in laughter while Seonghwa sighed and shook his head.

"He can be both." You smiled.

"That means if Hongjoong continues to steal food from me, he'll be stealing from his precious daughter." You laughed.

"Yah, hyung! Shame on you! How can you steal food from your pregnant wife?! She needs to eat for 2, you know?" Wooyoung crossed his arms, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Jung Wooyoung, you-" The fans all laughed as Hongjoong chased after Wooyoung.

~

Today...

"I hate that I'm leaving you." Hongjoong leaned his forehead against yours, squeezing your hand in his.

"Hey, hey. I'm fine, Joong. And we don't know how long she's gonna take, your baby girl could take the whole day. Go perform for ATINY, I'll be fine." You smiled, hand coming up to lightly caress his cheek. Hongjoong didn't make an effort to move, he just didn't want to leave you at all.

Right now, you were starting your labour. You were 2 weeks early and Hongjoong was freaking out while you were cool as a cucumber. But now, Hongjoong had a concert to perform in.

"Maybe I shouldn't go, ATINY will understand." He chewed on his bottom lip. You held his chin.

"No, you are performing at that concert. Your team needs you."

"You need me, the baby needs me. I should be here, supporting you through this." Hongjoong pouted. You softened, what would you do without him? He was the best partner ever.

"I do and I'm grateful for that but I won't let you miss this concert. It's your last concert before you take parental leave so enjoy it." You giggled.

Without you knowing, Hongjoong spoke to KQ about taking some time off to help you care for the baby. He'll still promote, just not as actively. When he told you this, you cried for 2 hours from how touched you were.

"She'll still be here when you come back." You promised. Hongjoong's mother, who was also there and watching this exchange, nodded.

"Don't worry, Hongjoong ah. She's in good hands, I'll keep you updated the whole time." Mrs Kim patted Hongjoong on the shoulders. You nodded in agreement.

"I love you. I love you so much. If you need me, just say the word. I'll drop everything and come." Hongjoong said softly.

"Okay. I love you too. Have fun." You wrapped your arms around him.

"Mmm, you got this, baby. You can do this." He kissed the top of your head, letting his lips linger there for a bit. Reluctantly, Hongjoong had to force himself out of there.

"Let's go, hyung." He said to his manager, who was waiting for him. Even in the van, Hongjoong was texting you.

"Hey, captain! You're here. How's she?" Mingi asked when he saw Hongjoong walk in with the manager. Hearing Mingi, the other boys all turned to the flustered and obviously stressed out captain. Before he could reply to Mingi's question, he was ushered to the tech team to get his microphone.

"I'm freaking out, guys. She's not due for another 2 weeks. I just hate that I'm not there with her but she made me leave and come here." He said to the 7 boys.

"You know (y/n) better than any of us. She'll pull through, she can do it." Seonghwa reached over to pat Hongjoong's thigh.

"But which father misses out his first child's birth for a concert?" He groaned.

"Don't think about that. You're here, ATINY is glad you're here. It'll be okay." San comforted the captain. Seeing how stressed he was, the other boys knew to take it easy with Hongjoong today.

"Let's start the concert briefing before going for the first soundcheck." The stage director came.

Hongjoong tried his best to focus on the rehearsal for the concert, not wanting to burden the rest of the team by being distracted. But he was still worried about you. When he had breaks, he would call or text you.

"We're having our meal now." Hongjoong said, propping the phone up so he could eat and talk to you. You couldn't eat since you felt sick but you didn't want to show Hongjoong.

"That's good." You smiled. The other boys poked their heads into the screen and waved at you.

"All the best, (y/n)." Yunho fist pumped.

"Thank you, everyone. Break a leg for the concert. I've been scrolling on ATINY twitter and it looks so exciting." You said, chewing on your ice chips.

"Wish you were here!" Jongho said.

"Well, I would be if I wasn't pushing a bowling ball out of me." You joked. The other boys winced at the imagery.

"Hey, that's my goddaughter you're talking about." Seonghwa said, making you apologise. However, the call was cut short when the gynaecologist came in and you hung up without a goodbye.

There wasn't much time left for Hongjoong to be distracted because the concert was starting. He put all his focus on his stages, his solo guitar performance, his MATZ performance with Seonghwa and the little acting sequences. After all, he was someone that liked to give it his all, leave the stage with no regrets.

"Have you been having fun?" Yeosang asked ATINY, who cheered loudly. The boys panted, trying to catch their breath.

"Wow, the choreography for that dance always makes us out of breath." San laughed, handing out the water bottles and towels to all the members.

"Hope you've been enjoying the performance, ATINY~" Yunho waved to the fans.

"What about our captain? Any words?" Seonghwa turned to Hongjoong. All the fans screamed for him.

"ATINY... Actually... as we're on stage, (y/n)'s in labour right now. But she insisted I come perform tonight instead of stay by her side... Ah, why am I crying already?" He said to the fans.

"Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry!" The other boys and the fans started to chant.

"The labour is earlier than we expected so please, ATINY, pray for her and our baby, that she'll be safe and everything will be alright. She's doing this on her own while I am here. But I'll go to her the moment the concert is over." Hongjoong announced.

"I just want them to be okay!" He wished out loud, making all the fans cheer with encouragement. Seonghwa used a towel to wipe his tears for him.

After the performance was over, Hongjoong was the first to run off stage. He had been away from you for too long. Ripping off his mic, he grabbed his phone from his manager and ran.

"Bring my bag back to the dorm for me!" He yelled to the other manager as he left to the van.

"Good luck! Let us know how they are!" The 7 boys yelled to their captain.

"Omma? How is she?" Hongjoong, still in his sparkly stage outfit, make up and done up hair, ran over to his mother. He didn't care that he was stared at while entering the hospital.

"There was a minor complication but the doctor managed to stop it. Both mother and baby are fine." Mrs Kim informed.

"Congrats, little bro. You're a father now." Bumjoong hugged Hongjoong.

"Go see her, she's resting. She's been through a lot and needs you now." Mr Kim patted Hongjoong on the shoulder. He didn't need to be told twice. Hongjoong quietly entered the room, seeing you sleep. He removed his jacket and went to your side, holding your hand. You were absolutely exhausted.

"Joong?" You whispered, opening your eyes slightly when you felt the side of the bed dip down.

"Yes, baby... I'm here. I'm here now." His fingers brushed the hair away from your face. You quickly wrapped your arms around him, softly sobbing in his embrace.

"It was hurting so bad and there was so much blood. I was so scared..." You cried. Hongjoong's heart broke, hearing your cries.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, it must have been so scary on your own. I'm sorry." He rubbed your back, tears in his own eyes.

"But you did it, baby. Our little girl is born and healthy. It's all thanks to you, you did it. Thank you, baby. I love you so much." Hongjoong kissed your forehead.

"I love you too." You replied.

"We heard the father is here so we brought her in." The nurse came in, wheeling the little infant bed with her.

"Go on. Your daughter needs to see how handsome her dad is." You encouraged with a soft smile. Hongjoong broke away from you and slowly approached the plastic bed. He gasped as his eyes fell on the bundled baby in the middle.

To say his daughter was perfect would be an understatement, but Hongjoong knew she was perfect. She had a mix of both your best features and his. He knew she would grow up breaking hearts.

"Hi there. I'm Hongjoong. No, wait- I mean, I'm dad." He whispered, introducing himself to the baby. You laughed, taking your phone out to video this.

"You're so squirmy." He chuckled, seeing his daughter huff and squirm in the way she was bundled.

"I'll be back in a bit." The nurse smiled. After she left, Hongjoong's parents came into the room. But all a sudden, a cry erupted.

"W-What do I do?! Help me!" Hongjoong panicked, putting a hand on the baby to try and hush her. He even tried to lightly pat her chest to soothe her but it wasn't working.

"Carry your daughter!" Mrs Kim said in frustration. You burst out laughing, seeing Hongjoong genuinely frightened.

"How?" He whimpered.

"Wash your hands first." Bumjoong said. Hongjoong ran to the sink to wash his hands thoroughly. He sat in the armchair right by your bed as his mother gently picked up the crying baby and put her in his arms. She adjusted his hands and arms so that the baby was properly supported.

"Don't be so awkward, Joong. Relax, it's your kid." You laughed, still video recording him, noticing how stiff he was.

"I'm glad you're entertained by this, baby." Hongjoong rolled his eyes. But then he tried to relax, going into a more loose hold and letting the baby settle in his arms properly.

"See? She stopped crying when she saw her dad." Mr Kim chuckled. Hongjoong smiled softly.

"Already a daddy's girl, hmm? What an angel, you're so beautiful like your mother." He looked at his child, who stared back at him.

"So, how terrified are you?" You asked.

"Very. She's already got me wrapped around her finger, imagine when the other 7 come. She'll be the end of them." Hongjoong laughed, not taking his eyes off his daughter.

"My little melody." He whispered.

"Melody... that's a nice name or nickname. Where did you come up with that?" You asked.

"A few months ago, when I was on live with ATINY, trying to find a new nickname to give her. Back then, we didn't know if the kid was going to be a girl or boy. But when I saw the suggestion of 'melody', I immediately fell in love with it." He explained.

"We don't have to name her that. But it'll be a cute nickname for her." He added, smiling down at his daughter.

~

Future...

"Clear the way! My goddaughter needs to meet her godfather!" Seonghwa pushed his way into the house.

"Hyung!" The other boys groaned, if Seonghwa was always going to use his title to get priority, that would be annoying. Seeing you make your way over, San was quick to help you.

"How are you?" He asked, guiding you to the couch..

"I'm fine, recovering well. Thank you, San." You smiled gratefully, making him smile back.

You stayed in the hospital for a little longer than usual because of the slight complications on your end. Even after you were cleared to go home, Hongjoong didn't have anyone over to visit the baby. He wanted you to heal physically and mentally from the birth before you had anyone over.

"Congratulations~" Seonghwa pulled you into a hug.

"Thank you. Your goddaughter is really cute, by the way. Beware, she already got Hongjoong smiling like a fool for her." You chuckled as you patted his back.

"I'll gladly be a fool for her then. Where is she?" Seonghwa asked, pulling away so the other boys could hug you.

"Hongjoong's changing her. They'll be out in a second." You informed as Mingi wrapped his limbs around you to koala hug you.

"We should wash our hands." Jongho said. All the boys broke apart to the kitchen or guest bathroom to wash their hands. They've been here so many times that they know where everything was.

"ATEEZ meet Kim (y/d/n)." Hongjoong smiled as he came out with the baby bundled in a blanket.

"Aww... She's perfect." The boys melted. Wooyoung had to hold Yunho so he couldn't scream. Hongjoong sat on the couch between them with your daughter cradled in his arms. They all leaned over to look at the tiny human being.

"Wait, I'm not ready. No, yes I am! No, wait. I-" Seonghwa was struggling so Hongjoong just placed the baby in his arms, making Seonghwa stop to support her body.

"Uh, hi there... I'm Seonghwa. I already love you and want to buy you the world." Seonghwa said, practically in a trance.

"Seonghwa! Please don't." You exclaimed.

"Get in line. I'm buying her the world first." Hongjoong childishly scoffed, making you slap his shoulder. The boys took turns to carry her, if they were comfortable to, of course.

"I'm still going to call you, bun. No matter what your dad says." Mingi cooed. Hongjoong rolled his eyes.

"This reminds me of when Kyungmin was born." Wooyoung whispered excitedly as the baby stared back up at him.

"Wait, kids. What's all this?" Hongjoong asked. You looked over the couch, now noticing the big stack of boxes and paper bags that were sitting in the hallway.

"Just some things from all of us and people at the company... This is nothing compared to the world I'll buy you, isn't that right cutie?" Seonghwa said, cooing to the baby in Yunho's arms. Your jaw dropped, this was not 'some' things. Yeosang and Jongho helped bring everything over.

"Guys, thank you for all this. But it's too much." You chuckled, looking through the presents.

"There's never enough for the kiddo." Yunho smiled.

"Sooooooo, when's the next one gonna be? I need to know how much time I have to prove myself worthy of a godparent." Wooyoung said, making you choke.

"Not for a while. I'm going to need to get over this birth." You shook your head. Wooyoung pouted, resting his chin on your shoulder.

"We're going to need to babyproof Hongjoong hyung's studio." Yeosang pointed out.

"Yes, we should get to it." Seonghwa nodded in agreement. Hongjoong just stared at the boys as they made plans to revamp HIS studio. But he couldn't say much, it was for his daughter after all.

You sat with Hongjoong, your arms around each other as you leaned on him. Looking at how the boys all fawned over your daughter, you just knew she was going to grow up with all the love in the world, following the footsteps of her chaotic ATEEZ family.

~

Masterlist

All this for him? (idol!Hwang Hyunjin x f!reader)

Summary: You pay your boyfriend a visit during his practice in the studio which ends up with you receiving another guys phone number while you're there. Jealousy takes over Hyunjin who decides to prove who you belong to.

A/N: listennnn I know smut is a BOLD first post and first write but hear me out... mic and brush has the biggest chokehold on me and I couldn't help myself lols! anyways enjoyyy!!!! lemme know what you think pls and thank u x

Pairing: Idol/Hyunjin x fem!reader, AFAB!reader, JealousBoyfriend!Hyunjin

Genre: Smut, Angst (if you squint)

W/C: 4.7k

Smut warnings under the cut!!!

Warnings: choking, degradation. praise, jealous!Hyunjin, multiple orgasms, oral (m and f rec) unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it people!!) fingering, hair pulling, possessiveness. marking, softdom!Hyunjin, sub!reader, pet names (jagiya, angel, baby...) filming, squirting, creampie, not fully proofread mb x

It had been a couple of weeks since you had sat in the practice rooms to watch your boyfriend run through his choreo so when he called at 7pm and proposed the idea of you coming to watch his new solo performance practice you immediately jumped up to get ready. Somehow you managed to be out your apartment in 15 minutes and arriving at the studio another 30 minutes later.

“Finally you’re here! What took you so long? I called you about 45 minutes ago.” Hyunjin, in his dramatic state, jogged over to meet you at the door once he heard the door swing open. He clearly hadn’t noticed the drinks in your hands.

“Wow, okay so i’m guessing you don’t want this then?” you replied to his drama by shaking the drink around close to his face but before he could react you had pulled it away and strolled past him feeling his eyes burning into the back of your head as you placed your things onto the table at the side of the dance studio.

Still facing the table, you heard footsteps behind you as Hyunjin walked over seemingly more interested in the iced americano now inhabiting the table. You felt a pair of large ring adorned hands snake around your waist from behind and settle flat on your stomach as Hyunjin rested his head in the side of your neck.

“I’m sorry. I was just excited to have you here to watch me doing my solo choreography.” He mumbled into your neck as you leaned into his warmth, sighing comfortably.

“No it’s okay, I know baby. Thought you might’ve needed some energy plus the traffic getting here was crazy so I just thought an extra 10 minutes wouldn’t matter if it meant I wasn’t showing up empty handed.” You melted into his embrace and rested your hands on top of his on your stomach, tracing his rings under your fingertips. Being in a secret relationship and needing to be careful about it made moments like this even more special before reality set in. Hyunjin was quick to remember his choreographer was only stepping out for 10 minutes just before you arrived. He pressed a quick soft kiss to your neck and pulled away, grabbing the drink you had brought and took a sip.

“Thank you. I really needed this.” Just as he replied the door swung open and the choreographer walked in grinning as he spotted you standing in the corner.

“Ah! Y/N I didn’t know you were coming today? Hyunjin didn’t mention it.” He walked over pulling you into a hug and you shot a look in Hyunjin’s direction to catch him holding back a laugh. It’s not that you didn’t like Kai but he had always tried flirting with you every time you had came to the studio to watch your boyfriends dancing. Granted, Kai didn’t know you and Hyunjin were dating but still, he was shameless. You both had always told Kai you were just childhood friends (which isn’t exactly a lie) and you hung out often to just hide the fact you’re dating. He clearly believed it since the flirting was unavoidable despite Hyunjin’s eyes boring into the back of Kai.

“Haha yeah… I had no idea you’d be here either. I thought it was just Hyunjin otherwise I would’ve brought you a drink too.” You tried to cover up the fact you didn’t want him here. Hyunjin bit the straw of his drink smirking as you looked at him for help.

Kai cluelessly just offered a laugh and told you it’s no big deal as he had a coffee earlier already. Hyunjin set his own down and asked you to go sit down so he could show you the choreo for his solo stage.

The music started playing as he took his position in the middle of the floor. You had always admired him while he danced, swaying perfectly to the beat. The song he had for his solo stage was perfect for him. It had a jazz and expensive vibe to it and wasn’t bouncy or crazy in any way meaning his dancing was more mellow and slower, almost sensual. You sat back in your seat watching him run through the moves, his eyes moving to watch your reaction every so often.

Once he had gone through it the first time he was left with a layer of sweat covering his perfect features as he ran his fingers through his hair to move it away from his eyes showing you more of his face as he shot a smirk at you. He knew you loved him like this, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. He just didn’t realise how turned on this side of him made you.

Obviously you had noticed Hyunjin’s eyes watching you but you had also caught on to Kai watching you too instead of keeping his eyes on his student. You had kept a mental note of Kai’s eyes on you in case Hyunjin brought it up later, which you knew he would. Not that you’re complaining.

“That was amazing! Seriously ba-“ You cut yourself off before you finished that sentence hoping Kai didn’t hear. Hyunjin definitely heard as his cheeks flushed red underneath his already red face from his dancing, you almost missed the new flustered look. Settling for clapping with a smile to show how good you thought it was instead, just incase anything slipped out accidentally.

“Can I just say… Y/N… You look beautiful today." Kai interrupted your appreciation with a compliment but immediately snapped his mouth shut. "Sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” He added, mumbling but you could still hear what he said. “Sorry…”

“Uh no it’s okay!” Trying to save the man from embarrassment. “Thank you… I just threw this on today though it’s nothing special.” You thanked him to smooth the tension, tugging on your tight cropped vest and baggy jeans.

Kai rubbed the back of his neck in response, feeling minimally better. “Well you look amazing to me.” He offered a smile.

Hyunjin coughed from beside you as he sat down with his drink in his hand. His tongue poked out between his lips and travelled to the corner of his mouth as he sat back, adjusting his position in the seat. You suddenly felt intimidated with his presence next to you. He felt you tense up as his thigh and fingers brushed the side of your leg, a silent reminder to behave.

“Uh anyways let’s go again Hyunjin!” Kai pulled him out of his thoughts as he had an internal argument with himself to have control and not kiss you in front of the older man. He shot a subtle glance your way and winked as he stood up and walked back to the middle of the room.

About an hour went by when finally they decided to wrap up practice and head home for the day. They had gone over a couple other dances too just to cover some moves.

The entire time Kai’s gaze was still lingering on you which hadn’t gone unnoticed by you or Hyunjin. When it came to Kai leaving he had walked over and gently pulled you into another hug. “I meant it when I said you looked beautiful earlier.” You felt his hands sliding further down your back and a hand slip into the back pocket of your jeans and then quickly pull out again. “Come again soon, yeah?”. All you could do was awkwardly laugh and nod your head as he pulled back. He then walked over to Hyunjin to sort out their next practice session and then left the building which in turn left an insane amount of tension in the room.

You tucked your hand into the same pocket Kai’s hand had just been in and pulled out a piece of folded up paper. He had scribbled his name, phone number and a small “;)” onto it. Fuck. You quickly folded it up and held onto it in shock.

Before you had time to properly react Hyunjin had already crossed the room and ripped the paper from your hands. “What’s this?” He asked scanning his eyes over the paper, a deep laugh erupting from his chest as he read it. You stopped breathing as you waited for his reaction.

He shoved the paper into his own pocket as he kept his eyes trained on you. You stood frozen in front of him. “Aw, don’t get shy now. You had no problem replying to Kai’s very obvious flirting earlier.” He tilted his head to the side slightly still looking down at you. “I just threw this on today though.” He was mocking you but instead of getting offended you tried to press your thighs together in hopes of him not noticing.

His fingers came up to trace your jaw before finally wrapping around your throat slightly, pressing down on the sides and pulling you towards him to crash his lips onto yours hungrily. You immediately melted into his lips, gasping as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip which allowed him to slip it into your mouth.

You knew replying to Kai was like adding fuel to fire but you also knew (or hoped) it would end like this, with you wrapped around his finger. Teasing was in your nature when it came to Hyunjin.

With his free hand he unbuttoned your jeans and slipped his hand past the waistband, lightly ghosting his fingers over your clothed core feeling the growing wet patch. You felt him smirk against your lips. “All this for him, hm? Couldn’t help yourself feeling his hands over you? Sliding into your pocket and touching your ass?” The same smirk on his lips as he spoke and waited for your reply. "Enjoyed him watching you the entire time too, huh?" He added but all you could let out was a strained moan as his fingers continued their attack over your underwear. He pulled his hand out of your jeans, “Use your words Y/N.”

“N… no never. Only for you.” You whined, missing his touch. “I’m only yours.”

Just as you allowed your hands to wander across Hyunjin’s torso he pulled away from you and walked over to the seats to sit down, dragging you along with him to straddle his lap. “Are you gonna be a good girl and prove you’re mine, jagiya?” All you could do was hum in response as you attached your lips to his neck, sucking sharply. But before any serious damage could be done he had raked his fingers through your hair at your scalp and pulled your head back, the sting causing your eyes to tear up a little.

He wasted no time attacking your neck with the same urgency you had done to him. You whimpered as his lips reached just under your ear as he sucked and nibbled which left a mark behind. His tongue swiped over the same spot to soothe it before he travelled lower to the small part of your exposed collarbone to add another mark. Your hands found themselves in Hyunjin’s hair as you bit your lip and held back a moan.

You felt his hand gripping onto your waist, digging his fingers in which you hoped would leave a bruise behind causing you to start moving your hips on his lap needing more friction. A smile formed on his lips as he stopped kissing your collarbone and looked up to make eye contact with you as he grabbed the hem of your shirt, lifting it slightly. Giving him an eager nod he lifted your shirt off your body, immediately dropping his eyes back to your chest.

"No bra? Bet you came here hoping Kai would be here so he could see you like this hm? Such a tease.." Hyunjin hummed before continuing his kisses along your collarbone and down your chest. Before you could reply he had ghosted his lips across one of your nipples, laughing lightly as he heard your breathing hitch. Finally he took it into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the sensitive bud and watching your reaction.

"Hyune..." You whined out, pleading for more.

"I know angel, I know." His hand slipped past your waistband once more going back to touch you through your underwear where you need him most. Letting out a shuddered breath you dropped your head on his shoulder muffling any sound coming from your lips. "Needy today aren't you? Craving my attention that badly? Knowing how to rile me up perfectly."

Pushing your underwear to the side his fingers finally touched your clit, rubbing small circles around it as you moaned and let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. You gripped his forearm as his fingers continued circling your clit drawing the most lewd noises from your mouth as you dug your nails into his arm, forming little crescent moons underneath. His fingers danced around your entrance before he finally slipped a finger inside of you, pulling it out enough to add a second.

You squealed at the new sensation as his fingers continued to pump in and out of you at a steady pace. After a couple more thrusts of his fingers he started to curl them, feeling that spongey spot inside that had you gasping for air as his name fell from your lips like a prayer.

"Hyune please... need to cum." You begged, panting as you spoke with your chest rising and falling erratically. Your grip loosened on his arm and instead drifted to his very obviously hard dick in his pants, tracing the shape with your nails.

His hand in your pants faltered slightly at the new sensation but quickly found rhythm again. The fingers in your underwear continued to pump in and out of you, his thumb playing with your clit, as the other hand came up to cradle the back of your head and bring you forward so he could catch your lips with his in a slow, gentle kiss, swallowing your moans as your orgasm built up in the pit of your stomach.

"Cum for me angel. Been such a good girl." He whispered against your lips and with that you let go, the knot in your stomach finally exploding as your eyes rolled to the back of your head while you saw stars and his fingers slowed to help you ride out your orgasm with a high pitch moan ringing through the echoing studio.

He pulled his fingers out of you, slipping them past his lips and sucking them clean. A groan fell from his lips at the taste of you on his fingers. The sight was pornographic, you couldn’t help but crash your lips against his, tasting yourself on him. You deepened the kiss by grabbing the back of his neck to angle his head so you could take over a little, thanking him for the earth shattering orgasm he just gave you.

After you had caught your breath you wasted no time standing up with slightly shaky legs and dragging your jeans and panties down off your body in one swift motion, ridding yourself of the material and kicking it off to the side. Sinking to your knees in front of Hyunjin, your hands started off going up his inner thighs teasingly before finally reaching the tent in his sweatpants.

"Wanna make you feel good Hyune, prove how good I can be for you. Only you." You blinked up at him, resting your cheek against his thigh as your hand kept tracing over his dick with your fingers. "Please. Wanna taste you."

He only hummed in response, leaning over and putting his hand on the back of your neck to pull you in for a searing kiss. You bit down on his bottom lip causing him to groan into your mouth and pull back to look at you with lust filled eyes before sitting back again, waiting for you to continue with what you had begged for.

Hooking your fingers into the waistband of his sweats you pulled them down to his ankles leaving him in just his shirt and boxers. You started kissing his thigh, working your way towards his lower stomach before finally dipping into the waistband of his boxers and freeing his dick from the confines. Your mouth watered at the sight. He wasn’t too long but definitely longer than average with the perfect girth.

Licking a long stripe up the underside of his cock you made your way to the tip and giving it a light kiss, licking your lips after and tasting the salty precum that had transferred onto your mouth.

“Angel don’t tease.” He groaned, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your breath fanning over where he needed you most. Hyunjin wasn’t usually impatient and had a good amount of self restraint and control but today was different, he felt an uncontrollable need for you that had to be fulfilled.

Your tongue darted out of your mouth giving the tip of his dick small kitten licks before finally wrapping your lips around the head sucking lightly. A groan slipped past Hyunjin’s lips as his head tipped back slightly faltering but brought it back up quickly to watch you with your mouth wrapped around his length. Deciding to give him what he wants you finally sank your mouth down on his leaking cock, using your hand to accommodate for what you couldn’t fit.

“F…fuck y/n, always s.. so perfect for me huh? Always so good with that pretty mouth of yours.” His voice shuddered as he spoke, bringing his hands through your hair and creating a makeshift ponytail. “Does my pretty girl want my cum down her throat? Is that what my jagiya wants?”

You hummed in response and the vibrations caused Hyunjin to shiver and his grip to tighten on your hair, pulling at the strands. The mix of his hands pulling on your hair and the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat caused tears to well in your eyes as they fluttered open and you looked up at him through your lashes, the eye contact enough to have you gushing with arousal.

It didn’t take long for a string of curses mixed with your name to come out of Hyunjin’s mouth as his hips began to thrust up into your mouth, chasing his high. After just a couple thrusts his hips stilled and you continued to pump his length, keeping your mouth over the tip as he painted the back of your throat white. You let him ride out the orgasm and took your mouth off of him with a pop, saving him from overstimulation.

Once he had caught his breath you brought your face close to his, sticking your tongue out to show his release held in your mouth before swallowing it down and showing him it was gone causing him to smirk and once again crash his mouth onto yours, all tongue and teeth.

He was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and roll you over him gently so you were on your back along the seat as he hovered above you. Grabbing his shirt by the back of the collar, he pulled it off in one motion, leaving he finally completely bare.

The new position allowed him to easily kiss down your body, starting with the corner of your mouth slowly making his way to the sensitive spot beneath your ear where he has sucked a mark into earlier. You whined at the contact in the increasingly sensitive area but he was quick to soothe any discomfort with his tongue, lapping over the area softly.

His trail of kisses continued down your body, between the valley of your breasts and across your belly. You felt even more bare if that was even possible under his stare as he kept eye contact with you the entire time he kissed along your pelvis and hips, finally coming close to your soaking core.

Feeling his breath fanning over your most sensitive area your hands surged down to thread through his hair, like an automatic reaction. He smirked at you before his plump lips finally came into contact with your clit, giving it soft kisses before sticking his tongue out, running it through your folds causing your back to arch off the seat you were laying on.

You were practically non-verbal at this point except the moans and whines slipping past your bruised lips, still reeling from the previous orgasm he had given you and the fact you didn’t give yourself enough time to recover before jumping on him.

Hyunjin got encouragement from your moans and hands tugging his hair and continued his assault on your clit with his mouth, rolling it between his lips and teeth, softly biting on it every so often. You felt him getting hard again as his length pressed into your inner calf from the way he was leaning over you.

With one hand holding your hips in place his other came up to grip your chest, rolling your nipple between his fingers and gripping the mounds of flesh. The added stimulation only caused you to moan loader, the sounds reverberating off the walls making it sound way louder.

You began to absentmindedly grind against his face, feeling him smile against you and chuckle slightly at your eagerness which in turn added an extra vibration to your clit which was enough to send you over the edge for the second time tonight. He let go of you clit with a loud smack of his lips and brought his face close to yours with a shit-eating grin plastered on it despite your arousal soaking his lips and chin.

“Baby are you alright?” He softly asked, stroking the side of his your face and ignoring his again painfully hard dick. Eating you out was one of his favourite things in bed so it’s no wonder he was hard again so quickly. He always cared more about how you were feeling rather than his own feelings at times like this, he needed you to be comfortable.

“Hyunnie, ‘m so so good. Need you in me… please” You had gotten to the point where all you craved was your boyfriend filling you up and you were so close yet to getting it.

“Such a greedy girl wanting my dick to fill her up even though I’ve given you two orgasms already. Don’t worry jagi I’ll fill you up real nice, it’ll be all you can remember all week.” His words hit you deep in your core as he grabbed your plush thighs, pushing them back to meet your chest and he lined himself up with your leaking cunt.

Grabbing the base of his dick he ran the tip through your folds, coating himself in your slick before finally pushing into you slowly and bottoming out in one thrust. You both moaned in unison at the stretch and tightness of your heat encapsulating him, sucking him in.

“Baby move. P…please move Hyune.” You begged, your hands going to grab his thighs as they snapped against your ass from the position he had you in. He pulled out halfway and quickly pushed in again. You could feel every vein of his length dragging along your walls as you clenched down on him feeling your slick leaking out of you at each thrust of Hyunjin’s hips.

Suddenly his pace picked up, his hips snapping into you at a wild rate.

“Pussy was just made for me right angel? Think we should show your little loverboy just how well you take my dick huh?” His thrusts faltered as he reached for his phone from next to your hip. He was quick to open the camera app and two seconds later you heard the telltale sign of a video starting. “Jagiya’s gone on dumb on my cock like the cock drunk slut she is. Who does this cunt belong to baby? Whose dick are you taking so well.” He gasped out through thrusts, holding his phone steady enough to capture him disappearing inside of you, bottoming out with each thrust.

“Y…yours! Hyunjin baby please don’t stop. Belongs t…to you ‘nd only y…you.” You shifted your hips up to meet his thrust, the new angle causing him to reach the spot inside you that had you hurtling towards your third orgasm. The pressure building was the most you’d felt all day. Hyunjin’s thrusts got sloppy as he neared his own release, the camera picking up on the slowed pace.

“Baby ‘m gonna cum quick if you keep clenching on me like that.” He groaned, trying to keep his pace while you drove him crazy.

“Cum with me Hyune… please baby.” You weren’t going to last much longer and you’d always loved the intimacy you felt whenever you and Hyunjin finished together. He knew this about you which is why not even a second later he had brought his free hand up to slot with yours, interlocking you fingers and giving them a slight squeeze, a silent sign of his that you’d caught onto meaning you could cum.

You chased your high, back arching off the seat as the pressure inside of you exploded harder than you’d ever came before, your arousal gushing out and coating your boyfriend’s abdomen and upper thighs. That was enough to have Hyunjin’s hips stilling as he bottomed out for a final time and released inside of you with a low grunt, giving you a couple more shallow thrusts to ride it out before pulling out of you completely. You whined as your legs spasmed and you felt empty again, your hole fluttering around nothing as both of your releases leaked out of you.

He was quick to get the sight of you fucked out with the mess between your shaky legs within the view of his camera before he stopped the video and crawled up to lay beside you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist and pulling you close.

Your brain hadn’t fully registered anything for the past couple minutes as you caught your breath, still reeling from your final orgasm. Eventually you could feel a hand stroking the side of your face and registered the warm breath fanning across your neck.

“Mmh… baby.” Your voice came out as barely a whisper. Hyunjin quickly sat up and grabbed the water bottle on the nearby table and took off the cap, holding it up to your mouth and tipping it in, soothing your burning throat. “Thank you.” You smiled and sat up slightly, feeling the mess on the seat beneath you.

“y/n that was single handedly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m gonna need you to do that every time we fuck for the foreseeable future.”

“HYUNE! You can’t just say that you pabo!” You laughed while lightly smacking his shoulder causing him to laugh.

“Sorry sorry! Seriously though baby I had no idea you could do that.” Your face flushed with embarrassment but Hyunjin was quick to realise as he grabbed your face with both hands and ran his thumbs across your cheeks, leaning in to give your lips a gentle kiss. “Kinda wish Kai was here to see how good you were for me… It would be a real shame if this video somehow ended up in his text messages though.” Hyunjin shrugged, grabbing his phone and pretended to send the video.

“That would be cruel, the poor guy wouldn’t be able to face us normally for a long time.” Truth be told though, you wanted him to see. Maybe it would finally put a stop to his ruthless flirting and he could move on. You didn’t think Hyunjin would actually send it though so you didn’t bother to try grab the phone from him.

“Yeah I think you’re right. Oh well.” He shrugged and the noise of a text being sent caused your head to whip around and look at him with wide eyes.

“Oh my god Hyunjin tell me you didn’t. He literally going to stop being the groups choreographer!” You said in disbelief, still finding the humour in the situation though but more so in the fact your boyfriend was hot when he’s jealous.

“Aw whoops! Oh well! Come on princess let’s get you cleaned up and then home for a proper bath, maybe some nice dinner too.” He pecked your cheek and started to grab everything you had flung across the room. Aftercare in the company building was always quick and very minimal but you knew the minute you walked into your apartment you would be treated well by your loving boyfriend.

a/n: thank you so much for reading my first one-shot! i’m gonna go crawl into a hole after posting this and if it does bad then i’ll maybe die off from embarrassment! i’m trying to get this account up and running now starting with this post and then working on my other wips so we’ll see what happens. feedback would be very much appreciated, thank youuuu!

This is such a good series. I'm in love

FINISHED SERIES - completed July 2024

Summary: There's no turning back now, not when you know what you left behind. A dangerous situation now replaced with another. After the omegas disappeared you have to extra careful, especially now that you have left your pack and family.  What happens when your car breaks down on another pack's land?

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, fluff, angst, virgin!reader, reader is a CRYBABY, cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Meet the pack

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

👇🏻head cannons and answered questions 👇🏻 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Comments and reblogs are encouraged and appreciated :)

Main masterlist

Proud to have a miniscule part in this masterpiece.

Love this side of Minnie

Talking Back

THIS IS SMUT. MINORS DNI.

So I haven't posted a fic in a little bit, I've been working on a longer fantasy AU I'll be posting hopefully pretty soon! Thanks to @palindrome969 for peer pressuring me to post this one though, please enjoy 🫶

Summary: Seungmin's pet learns a lesson. Or, more accurately, is taught a lesson.

Pairing: dom Seungmin x fem reader

Includes: fingering, "pet", "master", "good girl", "slut", combinations of these, pet play, riding, unprotected vaginal sex (PLEASE use condoms and be safe irl), "too much" but then they keep going, hair pulling, aftercare, "I love you" at the end

Word count: 1.2k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife, @tsunderelino, @hyunjinsjeans, @somethingkindazainy

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Masterlist

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Seungmin was a very sweet boyfriend. He was always opening doors for you, paying for dinner, showing up at your place with flowers.

It was his flowers that sat in the vase on your nightstand now. But you wouldn’t exactly describe him as sweet when he was fucking you senseless.

Your fingers twisted in the sheets. “God, Min, harder.”

“Not hard enough yet?” Seungmin’s voice took on a dangerous tone. “You should be careful what you wish for.” His fingers moved faster inside you, and his lips twisted in a grin as you arched your back to push into his hand. “You like that?”

“Yes.” You drew the word out on a moan.

“Good.” He said. “Good girl. I’m gonna have so much fun using you.”

You whimpered. “Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please use me.” You were past the point of trying to maintain dignity. Seungmin had teased you far too much for that to be a consideration now.

“I think I will, it’s nice to hear you beg for it.” Seungmin’s fingers thrust into you one last time before drawing out. “Although I’m gonna use you how I want. You’re mine, pet.”

You groaned at the condescension in his voice. You knew where this was going.

He pushed his fingers into your mouth, and you sucked them clean, tasting yourself. “Good girl.” Your clit twitched at the praise.

He took off his pants and boxers and laid down on his back next to you, one hand slowly stroking his cock and the other behind his head. He smirked. “C’mon, we both know you wanna ride me.”

You practically leapt in your haste to get on top of him, and he gave a low laugh. “Such an eager pet. You wanna please me, don’t you?”

You nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“Yes, I do, what?”

“I’m sorry, yes, I do, master.” You mentally kicked yourself. He was going to punish you for forgetting that.

“Mm. Come sit that tight little hole on my cock and we’ll see if I can find it in me to forgive you.”

You lined yourself up with his cock, hovering over it for a second before sinking down onto the tip. Seungmin gave a half-laugh, half-groan at your noise of pleasure. “Oh, that’s just the tip.”

“I know that.” You mumbled. “I’m just—hah!” Without warning, Seungmin thrust his hips up, pushing his whole length inside you.

“Pets shouldn’t talk back.” He grabbed hold of your hips, forcing himself even deeper. “Pets should take what their masters give them and fucking like it.”

You did like it, and Seungmin knew that. His words gave you butterflies, or maybe that was just the feeling of his cock deep inside you, filling you up so good.

He continued to fuck up into you, making your knees ache as he bounced you on his cock. “Good fucking girl. Good pet. Such a good hole for me.” All you could do was moan and brace yourself on his shoulders, your pussy clenching around him as you felt your orgasm approaching.

“Fuck, master, fuck, I’m gonna cum— can I cum? Please?”

“Beg a little more and I’ll consider it.” Seungmin’s thrusts were still controlled, but they grew more sharp, more intense.

“Please, please, please.” You chanted. “I’m being a good pet, such a good pet for you, master, please let me cum.”

“Is that all you want? You just wanna cum on my cock?”

“Yesssss.” You moaned.

One of his hands left your hips, moving to the back of your neck to pull your head down by his. “You’re going to cum, pet, you’re gonna cum so many times you’ll be fucking begging me to stop.”

You moaned again. If this was your punishment, you’d take it. “Yes, master, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Such a dumb slut.” His hand returned to your hip. “So pliant. So fucking desperate for anything I’ll give you.”

You didn’t answer as your orgasm hit and your hips bucked against his, seeking out more stimulation, more of his cock.

“Good girl.” He moved your hips up and off his cock once you were done, and you whined in confusion. He just laughed. “Hands and knees, pet.”

You obeyed, getting into the position as quickly as you could. Seungmin pushed your shoulders down into the bed so your face was shoved into the pillows and your shoulders rested on the mattress. “Pets don’t talk back.”

You made a noise that sounded pathetic even to you. You felt his cock against your hole again, and you pushed back onto it.

His hand found your head, pulling your hair. “Pets are obedient, and they wait for their masters to use their bodies however they see fit.”

“Yes, master.”

“What did I just say about talking?” He shoved your head into the pillows again. “Shut up.”

And then he started fucking you again, and you didn’t have to worry about talking, because the only noises you were making were broken whines and moans, your eyes rolling back in your head. He fucked you mercilessly, and you were sure you’d have fingertip-shaped bruises on your hips by the morning.

You hit your second orgasm, and then the third, which bled into the fourth, and Seungmin wasn’t remotely finished. “Still going, pet?”

“Yes, master.” Your syllables slurred into each other.

“So drunk on my cock you can’t even speak right. That’s pretty pathetic, even for you. Dumb little pet, so fucking needy. Such a good girl when master gives you what you want.”

You had a feeling he was about to get mean. Meaner than he already was, almost sadistic.

You were right. Seungmin’s hand fisted in your hair, yanking it back, ignoring your yelp. “But what about when master gives you too much, huh? Tell me when it’s too much, slut. Tell me.” He was baiting you, but you wanted to let him keep going for a bit before you took the lure.

You held out through another orgasm until the sensation of his cock became overwhelming. “It’s too much, master.”

“Is it?”

You swallowed, nodding. “Yes, master.”

“I’m gonna teach you a lesson, pet.” He stopped for a moment, and you took a breath at the moment of reprieve. “It’s up to master to decide when we’re done. You said too much? You’ll stop when I fucking tell you to.” He started fucking you again, breathing ragged, his hands tighter than ever on your hips.

You felt every bit the dumb pet Seungmin told you that you were as he fucked you, took every ounce of pleasure he could from your body. It left you panting, sweating, moaning, but not speaking. You’d learned your lesson about speaking.

Seungmin’s thrusts grew erratic, and he gave one last, hard thrust before staying inside you. You could feel his cum, and he groaned, scraping his fingernails down your sides. You shuddered in pleasure.

Seungmin pulled out, cum spilling out of your hole. “Good girl.” He breathed. “Good pet. C’mere.” He laid down on the bed, holding out his arms, and you made your sore body move across the sheets to him. He held you as you both came down from your headspaces.

You’d almost fallen asleep when Seungmin kissed your forehead. “C’mon, pretty girl, lets’ get cleaned up, and then we can go to sleep.”

You blinked open your eyes, smiling at the soft look on his face. “Okay.”

“I love you.” He kissed your forehead again.

“Love you too, Min.”

JFC

What is this masterpiece

harmony ; 3racha x reader ; one-shot

masterlist.

porn without plot. you want to have some fun and you know exactly which boyfriend can help get it started.

pairing: 3racha/reader content info: sub!reader, dom!changbin, dom!chan, switch!jisung, polyamorous mmfm foursome (so they’re all involved with each other and interact with each other), very enthusiastic consent with an implied red/yellow/green light system (yellow is employed once).  some rough play (esp with changbin), cnc game that reader initiates, face-slapping, choking, dirty talk, pussy eating, double penetration, blow job, all three holes at once, multiple orgasms, jisung having a monster dick for no reason, aftercare.  (technically no mention of birth control but it’s a long established relationship and you can safely assume it’s taken care of.) 

word count: 5255 words.

enjoy <3

-

When you want to play – really play – you know where to go. 

Jisung can be an overthinker and Chan is always protective, so they hesitate before getting too rough with you. Changbin, however, never holds back.  You know how to touch him, how to smile that particularly provocative smile, how to bat your eyelashes and invite him to play.  

You are thinking about it when he returns from his work-out, muscles straining in his black tank shirt, body damp with sweat, and looking like pure, unadulterated sex.  Chan and Jisung are huddled around a laptop in the living room, their entrepreneurial endeavours a seemingly endless chore, and they are so engrossed in their work they don’t see you leave. 

You sneak off to your room to change, ditching your shorts and underclothes, slipping into one of Changbin’s old t-shirts and absolutely nothing else.  

You intend to hunt him down after his shower, but it’s Changbin who comes to you.  He ambles casually into your bedroom without knocking, comfortable and relaxed and at home.  You have your own rooms for personal space but you all come and go as you please.

Your room is dimly lit with strings of fairy lights, the bed crowded with pillows and teddy bears, not to mention a big strong boyfriend who makes himself at home.  Changbin is dressed in sweatpants and a black t-shirt, his hair blow-dried soft and fluffy, but body as bulky and powerful as ever. 

“Look at this,” he says, holding out his phone.  A sweater you were eyeing has gone on sale so he sits on your bed and buys it for you without hesitation.   He giggles to himself with all that self-satisfied delight, teasing that he is the best boyfriend and your number one favourite. 

He knows the truest harmony lies among the four of you, together, always, but he likes to tease.

You like to tease back. 

“Be careful, you big bully,” you say, because he plops himself down at the head of the bed, knocking a teddy bear over.  You pick it up and aggressively shove it back into place. 

He quirks an eyebrow, his giggling joviality replaced with a studious expression.  He seems to finally notice what you are wearing, blinking his gaze up and down your body as you rearrange the pillows behind him. 

You bat your eyelashes, all playful innocence.

“Don’t be so serious,” he says.  He deliberately knocks a teddy onto the floor. 

You playfully gasp, bending over with a flourish and flashing him. 

“Ah,” he says, putting his phone on your bedside table.  “It’s like that?” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” you say, blinking. 

“Hm,” he says, giving you another quick once-over.  “Okay.”  

Changbin hauls you over his shoulder and wrestles you onto the bed.  He puts you on your back, upside down so your head is near the foot.  He climbs right on top of you, not an inch of muscle budging even when you thud your fists against his firm chest.    

“Binnie,” you say, wriggling underneath him, the t-shirt riding up your thighs.  “You’re crushing me, you big mean brute.” 

“Brute,” he says, laughing.  He grabs your hips and pins you to the mattress.  “Tsk.  You like it like that.” 

“No, I – ah!”

Changbin never hesitates.  He knows you will tell him if you don’t like something.  It’s a game of trust, full of an all encompassing love that boasts such tender affection beneath each action.  Being with Changbin is like being nestled in blankets by a warm fire on a snowy winter’s day.  You are sheltered in the storm, feeling that protection even more keenly because of the dangerous cold.    

Between you, there is nothing but heat. 

He gathers the hem of the t-shirt and shoves it up, past the skin of your tummy, exposing your thighs and all the bare softness between them.  Oh, yes, all softness against his hard body, the thickness of his biceps as he holds you down, his big thighs shoved between your open legs, broad shoulders relentless and ungiving even where you smack him repeatedly. 

“Binnie, be careful,” you say, trying to close your legs around his hips. 

You gasp when he puts a hand up your shirt, squeezing your breast in the cup of his palm. His mean fingers immediately find the stiffening peak, thumb tormenting you while you whine. 

You buck as if you want to throw him off, but he is right where you want him and he knows it.  He knows you, your body like a well-loved instrument, his strong hands drawing every musical gasp and sigh out of you. 

“Where’s your panties, hm?” he asks.  Undeterred by your continuous bucking and writhing, he slides his hands down to your naked hips.  He was slouched half-on top of you but he gets up on his knees now.  He pushes your thighs apart, forcing his hips between them. 

“Shameful,” he says.   He tries to grab your flailing hands to no avail.  You smack his chest and shoulders, dodging the reach of his fingers. 

He smacks your face, a tap hard enough to register the game has really begun, but not so hard to sting for long.  You still gasp, your hands pausing.  It gives him time to work a hand between your open thighs. 

“Ahh—!” 

“Yah, look at you,” he says, rubbing his fingers through your wet pussy without finesse or gentleness.  You twitch every time his knuckle rides over your clit.   “Bad girl,” he says.  “Who are you so wet for?” 

He gives you no time to answer, scooting back to drag you to the middle of the bed. You are still upside down, your pillows and teddies piled behind him, all the dreaminess of your girly lace bedroom in contrast to his stark masculinity.  It makes your whole body thrum with arousal, hot from the tips of your toes to the crown of your head.  You feel him even where he is not touching you.  

Where he is touching you, you burn, heart erratic with anticipation as he squeezes your thighs, as he shoves your hands out of his way, as he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy open to his gaze. 

“Ah – Binnie—!”  You get louder.  Your bedroom door is open.  Chan and Jisung might be focussed on their work, but not for long, not if you keep this up.  Still, to speed things along, you scream, “Chan!  Channie!  Ch—hmmph!”

Changbin shoves a pillow in your face, holding it there, smothering you to soften your shrieks.  His other hand is on your thigh – no, slipping higher, a surface touch through all that wet desire.  Then his blunt fingers are inside you.  You moan into the pillow, clenching around the thrust of his fingers.  You get dizzy quickly, partially because of the pillow, partially his skilled hand. 

He abruptly lifts the pillow.  The oxygen goes straight to your head, as intoxicating as a kiss.  You realize you are close to coming already, hiccupping with all that sudden breath as he fucks his fingers into you. 

Changbin is relentless.   You smack his chest but he ignores it, his strong arm keeping a steady momentum.  An orgasm builds and builds, your fingers hooking into his t-shirt for some leverage.  He puts a hand on your belly and holds you down.  He feels so strong and heavy, utterly unmovable, and it makes falling apart so much easier. 

“Didn’t you have something to say to Chan?” he says. 

You gasp and turn your head.  Sure enough, Chan is standing there, watching you.  Changbin does it on purpose, knowing when you are close, so you look at Chan just as the orgasm crests.  

Chan is standing beside the bed, dressed in his basketball shorts and a sleeveless black shirt, a baseball cap over his curly dark hair.   He must have entered the room while the pillow was on your face, and now he is standing there, watching Changbin hold you down and fuck you with his hand. 

“Channie, please—” you say, then you come all over Changbin’s fingers.  You cry out because he keeps tormenting you, thumb shaking back-and-forth across your throbbing clit.  “Ah, Binnie—Channie, please!”

Chan gives Changbin a look, his eyebrow quirked, then he just leans towards the open door and whistles.  It’s a sharp, high whistle, a call to attention. 

“Han,” he says, not even very loud.  Chan never needs to shove or force or yell.  When Chan says come, you come. 

You always obey Chan.  You throw your head back, gasping as you come a second time.  It is so soon after the first orgasm that it feels like one long, rolling wave.  It continues to shudder through you, even after Changbin slips his hand out. 

The shirt is still shoved up your tummy, soft skin and wet pussy on display.   Chan does not look away, reaching blindly behind himself for your desk chair.  He yanks it closer to the bed and plops down, taking off his cap and tossing it on the floor.   He is bare-faced, expression so open and honest, but a hunger in his eyes that darkens his whole face. 

Changbin just looks giddy.  You look at him as he giggles, that funny little chortle leaving that buff body.  Then you realize he is rolling his sweatpants down. 

“Channie!” you yelp, shrieking and twisting while Changbin licks his palm and strokes his cock, his other hand effortlessly holding you down. 

Chan slouches in the chair.  He props an elbow on the arm-rest and puts his chin in his palm.  His other hand slips under the waistband of his shorts. 

“Careful, baby,” Chan says, seconds before Changbin smacks you again.  It is within your limit, but still enough to turn your head on impact.

Like before, it breaks your concentration, and Changbin takes the opportunity to grab your hips, line up, and shove his cock inside you.  Chan and Jisung always give you a minute to adjust, the size of a hard cock definitely different from fingers, but Changbin never waits.  Even while you wince and complain, he fucks you through it, gripping your hips hard and ignoring your hands pushing against his chest. 

“Too much, Binnie,” you say, even though the sting is quickly passing.  You’re so wet and it makes it easy for him to fuck you.  It even sounds messy, every thrust opening you up, getting you even wetter, the bed creaking as he pulls you onto his cock over and over. 

You look over at Chan who is still watching, the shape of his hand and his dick so clear through the material of his shorts as he fists his cock slowly. 

You hiccup as Changbin switches from long, deep strokes to short, pounding ones. 

At which point Jisung finally walks in, yapping about work, saying, “I was thinking we could postpone the meeting to Monday and—oh, hi, WHAAAT, we’re having sex in here?  All right, man, okay, that’s cool, all right, what’s up.”   

Oh, your sweet Jisung.  He is also in house clothes, black shorts and a sleeveless white shirt, dark hair feathering through his fingers as he runs his hand through it.  He walks further into the room, kicking the door closed behind himself for no reason.  His attention is firmly fixed on you, holding your gaze while Changbin fucks you.  The unmoving intensity of those big brown eyes leaves you tingling, a swoop in your belly that feels as thorough as a good fuck.  It crashes into the feeling of Changbin inside you, makes your whole body get tight so Changbin groans and curses. 

“Oh,” is all you can say.  You cover your face with both hands, gasping when Changbin goes back to longer, deeper thrusts. 

“Heyyy, baby, why are you hiding?” Jisung says in his sweetest voice. 

You hear him approaching, even above the sound of you getting fucked, above Changbin’s little grunts, above Chan cursing.   You feel the dip of the mattress when Jisung climbs up on the bed, sitting near your head.  Then his hands are on your wrists, prying them away from your face.   You try to wrestle them back but he holds them calmly, his own arms boasting a subtle musculature as he pins your hands to the mattress to stop you from moving. 

“Yes,” Changbin says.  “Like that.  Come on.” 

“Jisungie,” you whine, looking down at where Changbin is driving into you, feeling each thrust deeper than your pussy, all the way up to your throat.  You tip your head back, looking at Jisung upside down. 

He leans down, his hair swooping forward, tickling your face as he kisses your forehead and temple. 

“It’s okay, baby,” he says.  Despite his soft voice, he does not lighten his grip, your hands still locked in place.  “Does it hurt?” he asks, wide-eyed. 

“Mmm,” you say, nodding, even while shuddering with so much pleasure that a tear spills down your cheek. 

“Aww,” he says, licking that tear track, making every nerve spasm.  “You’re so cute, baby.” 

“She gets tighter when you choke her,” Chan says.

“Awww,” Jisung says.   He releases one hand to reach for you.  He wraps his fingers delicately around your throat, not even squeezing at first, just a caress as his hand curls around you. 

Your adrenaline naturally peaks, body clenching, just like Chan said.  Changbin groans his satisfaction and Jisung tightens his grip, keeping you pinned by the throat while Changbin goes still, coming inside you. 

“Fuck,” Chan says. 

Jisung releases your throat and you suck in a shaky breath.  It is interrupted when Jisung swoops in, kissing your lips upside down.  You squirm under the confusing messiness of his open mouth at this angle. 

He comes up with a breath, one as shaky as your own, ravished from a kiss.  He runs his hand through his hair and nods to Changbin, saying, “Turn her around.” 

Two pairs of hands find you, manhandling you so easily between them.  You yelp, startled by the movement, as they lift you up and turn you around so your head is in Changbin’s lap and Jisung is now the one between your legs. 

Changbin hoists you into his arms, holds you in the cradle of his bicep as Jisung lays down between your open legs. 

This is one area that Jisung never hesitates to indulge, his open mouth descending on your pussy with ravenous excitement. 

You are so, so sensitive down there, almost numb beneath the first few searching swipes. 

He presses his whole mouth there, moaning as he sucks on your clit then licks up and down, back and forth, around and around.  His tongue rubs where Changbin just came, circling your sensitive hole, pressing there then licking back up to your already throbbing clit. 

“Can’t come again,” you say, not entirely sure if it comes out coherent because your eyes are closed and your brain feels fuzzy.   

He answers with a hum.  He does not seem to be eating you out with the intention of making you come, but purely for his own pleasure as he sucks and licks and tastes.  Despite that – and despite your words – you feel a tightening in your belly, a dull throb that feels too feels too deep to reach. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Changbin says when you start to writhe, his big arm wrapped around your neck, holding you tight to his beating heart. 

The thud of that heart, the relentless flick of Jisung’s tongue, and Chan’s approving nod makes your thighs press around Jisung’s head. 

“Oh—” is your last word before you come again, bucking hard against Jisung’s face.  You gasp and cling to Changbin’s arm. 

Jisung keeps licking at you, not relenting until your gasping whine is more of a scream.   Then he kisses your thighs and hips before pushing himself up onto his knees. 

He and Changbin wordlessly work together, sitting you upright to remove your only article of clothing.   Both pairs of hands find you again, touching and groping and stimulating everywhere. 

You shudder under all the sensation, eyes closing, rocking against nothing.  You are desperate to close your legs to relieve the tension, but Jisung is kneeling between them.  Fortunately, he knows you well, his hand sliding down there, fingers finding you, curling into you. 

“You’re soo wet, baby, it’s embarrassing,” he says.  “You need it that bad?” 

He is still using his sweetest voice, like he doesn’t know he is about to utterly wreck your shit.  Because Jisung always does without very much effort, simply by effect of having the biggest dick you have ever taken.   It is part of the reason you usually can’t start with him, or why he takes his time when you do, because it is an aching endeavour whenever he tries to fit all that inside you. 

Even the bulge in his shorts is obscene, the material rubbing against your thighs.  He brings your hand to that bulge and groans when you squeeze it, saying, “That’s it, that’s it—”

He leans over you.  It sounds like he and Changbin might be kissing above your head, sloppily at that.  Jisung is probably shoving his tongue into Changbin’s mouth, the same tongue that was just inside you as it licked up the mess that Changbin made.   

They press you between their bodies in an envelope of desire, utterly dominating your senses.  Changbin smells like his shampoo, a deep scent like mahogany, while Jisung tends to douse himself in cologne, faded now at the end of the day but still a rich, expensive smell.  Beneath all that is that simple sweat, bodies getting worked up, raw sex overwhelming all those other scents. 

You breathe them in, whimpering because you are pressed so tightly between them. You can feel Jisung twitching in your hand and Changbin beginning to stiffen again at your backside. 

 There is a wet pop and a shared gasp when they stop kissing.  Jisung grabs your face and pulls you up, his mouth hot when it claims yours, that stupidly talented mouth making you crazy. 

“Hold her,” Jisung says, speaking against your lips while guiding Changbin’s hands.  Jisung grabs your thighs and pushes them up, not quite folding you in half but almost there.  He knows you need to be open to take him.  Even then, you are already clenching, fluttering around nothing in anticipation.

Changbin holds your thighs back, hands pressed under the curve of your knee.  Jisung hastily shoves his shorts down his thighs, leaving them gathered at the knee.   He touches you and uses your desire to wet his dick, frantically jerking it as if it is not already intimidatingly hard and ready. 

“Jisungie,” you say, already whining, wiping an embarrassing spot of drool as it spills over your bottom lip.  Your body is so eager that it thunders out of control, clenching around nothing, and you can’t seem to stop it.   

Jisung is so mean, just using his fingertip for a second, circling your fluttering hole.  You try kicking him but your ankle manages little more than a flick, your legs trapped in Changbin’s hold. 

“Sorry,” Jisung says, giggling and obviously unapologetic.  He flicks your pouting bottom lip before finally putting the tip of his dick at your entrance. 

The first little bit is always fine.  It feels good to be full, your body needing him, pulling him in.  He rocks back and forth a little, pushing an inch then another, and that’s when your body realizes how much there is, clenching and stretching and burning as he pushes in.   

He goes slow, his whining mouth against your throat.  But then Chan sits on the edge of the bed and touches his back.  He bottoms out quickly and you squeak, eyes closed and breath coming fast. 

You hear Chan say, “Take it off.”   Confused, you blink your eyes open.  Chan is talking to Jisung, tugging his shirt up his back. 

Jisung groans but complies, tugging it over his head with one hand.  The few seconds give you a precious moment to adjust, barely enough before he comes back and starts to fuck you with short, rolling thrusts.   You think Chan is getting Jisung’s shorts out of the way given the jerky way Jisung moves on top of you, but then you are skin to skin with no obstruction. 

“Mmph, yellow – legs,” you say, breaking only briefly to prevent a cramp in your thighs.  Changbin is quick to smooth you out, helping reposition you more comfortably.  

You sprawl flat on your back as Changbin moves away, wrapping your legs around Jisung’s waist without any hindrance.  He holds himself above you, alternatively muttering expletives and cooing sweet nothings at you. 

Changbin sits on one side, Chan the other, both fully clothed despite the obvious strain below their waistbands.  It reminds you a little of the time Changbin topped Jisung while Chan fucked you, the pair of you kissing and touching between them the entire time.   

Today is a little different.  You are at the centre of it all, Jisung inside you, Chan’s hand on your chest and Changbin’s fingers circling your mouth.   You take those fingers when prompted, sucking dutifully, batting your eyelashes up at him while he softly finger-fucks your mouth. 

Chan’s fingers join him, touching your lip.  You open your mouth wider and drool messily around the intrusion. 

“Fuck,” Chan says.  He rips his hand back in sudden needy haste.  “Turn over,” he demands, smacking Jisung on the ass. 

It makes Jisung yelp but he complies.  With some help from Changbin, you roll over until Jisung is on his back and you are on top of him.  Changbin kneels upright too, taking your face in his hands and kissing you, tongue penetrating your mouth as Jisung holds your hips and thrusts up into you. 

Chan grabs the back of your neck, holding you in place while Changbin kisses you.  Chan’s other hand runs down your front, tweaking a nipple and making you mewl into Changbin’s mouth.  You are more panting than kissing by the time Chan’s fingers reach your pussy. 

Jisung slows down just a little, out of breath and whimpering as you clench around him.  This angle makes him feel stupidly deep, your eyes rolling back.  He makes a few small, jerky movements, not even a deep thrust, and it still feels like he his hitting your heart. 

Chan joins the kiss with Changbin.  You are not even sure who is kissing you, just that it is one or the other, back and forth until you are dizzy.  You know it is Chan’s fingers between your legs, the unmistakable pattern of his deft, familiar stroke making you spiral towards another orgasm. 

“Oh, god, she’s – she’s—” Jisung says, squeezing your hips, going still for a minute to stop himself from coming when you do.  He is breathing as hard as you. 

You look down at Jisung, holding eye contact while you come hard on Chan’s fingers. Chan and Changbin are each sucking a bruise into either side of your neck. 

“Fuck,” you say in a watery voice, thighs shaking, hands on Jisung’s abdomen as you lean forward. 

“That’s it,” Chan says, kissing your throat sweetly while Changbin bites you meanly.  Both of them swipe their tongue across the mark they leave behind.  “Jisung,” Chan says, a demand without further explanation.

“Fuck, I know,” Jisung says, slowly moving his hips again. 

It is so quick off your orgasm, it makes aftershocks move through your whole body.  You are a livewire, making every ridiculous sound possible as Jisung fucks you, Changbin kisses you, and Chan gets up behind you. 

Chan runs his hands down your sides, gently bending you forward until you are chest to chest with Jisung. 

“Yup, just like that,” Chan says, rubbing the base of your spine then lower.  His hands cup the curve of your ass, squeezing, tilting your hips just so.  It gives him a good view of Jisung’s cock moving in and out of you, no doubt obscenely wet and messy, as well as exposing the smaller hole in your ass as he spreads you open. 

“Changbin,” Chan says, still with that same confident assurance he will be obeyed no matter what, “Pass me the lube. Bedside drawer.” 

As if you were not already sensitive enough, just hearing those words makes everything clench, which makes Jisung fuck you harder, which makes some place inside you that is so unbelievably soft and tender start to ache. 

“Ah, that sound,” Changbin says when your moans turn to high-pitched whimpers.  He pats the back of your head and reaches for the bedside table. 

After a bit of rustling, he tosses the lube at Chan who catches it easily. 

“One second,” Changbin says while Chan uncaps it.  “She’s gonna come again.  Big one, isn’t it, yes?” 

The fact he knows before you do is a testament to how closely he watches you, how well he knows you.  He is completely right, of course, as Jisung repeatedly pounds into some squishy, vulnerable part of you, so deep and so tender.  You are not sure your clit would even respond if someone tried to touch it, but they don’t need to.   It is enough that Jisung is hitting that place again and again. 

You come with a scream, literally gushing around Jisung as you come.  It takes everything in his willpower not to come, nonsensically begging Changbin to help so he doesn’t finish.  Changbin just grabs him by the throat, much harder than Jisung grabbed you, making Jisung choke out a strangled gasp immediately.  It works, though, as Jisung goes still but stays hard, letting you rock desperately on top of him as your orgasm seems to last ages. 

When it finishes, you are completely boneless.  You slump onto Jisung who takes a breath when Changbin lets go. 

“All right,” Changbin says, smacking your ass.  You hear him kiss Chan quickly.   “Your turn.”

It is a good thing you feel so willowy; it makes it easy for Chan to open you up on his slick fingers.  The few times you have done this, it always took forever, which was fun in its own way, but today it is so easy.  He slides a finger right in, then another, hardly any obstruction as your body surrenders so completely to your boyfriends.

“You gonna take it okay, baby?” Jisung asks, his hands on your sides, holding you steady. 

You look up at him, nodding, and open your mouth with a whine.  He understands, lifting his head, meeting you in a messy, lazy kiss while he rocks slowly inside you.   The kiss only breaks when Chan replaces his fingers with his cock, reigniting every spark in your over sensitized body.  

“Ugh, god,” Jisung says, barely above a breath as he pants against your mouth.  “He’s inside you, baby?” 

You don’t answer because he can probably feel it when Chan is fully inside you.  It takes a second for them to calibrate, find a rhythm that works.   You are not sure if you are more impressed with yourself for taking it so easily this time, or impressed that Jisung has lasted this long and is still coherent enough to keep a steady rhythm. 

“Changbin,” you say, his name a moan on your lips.  You need to feel him too, his hand on your back not nearly enough. 

“Go,” Chan says, groaning, your hips in his hands as he fucks you.  “Oh, baby, you’re so good,” he says.  “Isn’t our girl so good for us?” 

Changbin and Jisung basically just grunt in reply, affirmative but irrevocably distracted. 

Changbin kneels near your head, rubbing the back of your neck and gently guiding you to turn your face.  Jisung swears when you open your mouth, a bit of spit drooling past his own lips as he watches you take Changbin’s cock past your lips.   You mostly just lay there with your mouth open, letting him fuck it rather than really blowing him, but there are no complaints. 

Chan squeezes your ass, a gentle knead that just makes you feel more open, stretched to your absolute limits, so full that you do not know how you will ever be happy without them all inside you.  

It reinvigorates you.  You find strength in your arm and use it to touch Changbin, fist circling where your mouth does not reach.  You get him off first but Chan follows quickly, muttering things like you, tight, perfect, baby, baby, baby.

“Oh god,” Jisung says, somehow still holding out.  When Chan slips out, it gives Jisung slightly more leverage.  He pushes himself upright, letting you slump in his arms and cling to him while he fucks up into you with quick, desperate little uh-uh-uhs. 

Finally, he comes, your name melting into a moan as he buries his face in your neck, mouth open where Changbin left his bitemark. 

They surround you after that and you hum happily, letting them pass you from one pair of arms to the next.  Jisung flops back, running his hands through his hair and catching his breath.  Changbin is there with a cloth of some kind – you think it might be Jisung’s shirt, but Jisung is way past caring – and he gives you a quick and gentle wipe-down while kissing your sleepy brow. 

“I should buy you sweaters more often,” Changbin says, giggling. 

It makes you snort with laughter, blinking up at him with a grin.  “Was gonna fuck you anyway, dummy,” you say. 

“In that case, I’ll buy you another one right now.” 

You giggle when he rubs his nose against yours in a cute little nose-kiss, eyes crinkling with an affectionate smile. 

“Mm, c’mere, sleepy,” Chan says, rightfully as you are still mostly slumped in his arms.  You manage to string an arm around his neck as he scoops you off the bed and holds you against his chest.

You are still a little dazed from so much sensation.   You let your boys take care of you.  After some quick inspection and care, you are plunked in a bath with Jisung to clean and decompress while the other two go strip and re-make the bed. 

Jisung kisses your face while helping you wash, his careful hands and the hot water soothing every achy limb. 

“Totally worth it,” you say, head under his chin, eyes closed and sighing contently. 

Changbin comes to help you out.  By then, you are bright-eyed, sore but in a way that makes you alive.  You feel clean and fresh and loved, bundled up in a robe and then carried off in Changbin’s arms to the living room where food, a comfy couch, and Chan is waiting. 

Jisung joins a moment later.  The laptop is long since closed and utterly forgotten, the four of you snuggling up in a big blanket.  Chan has an arm slung across the back of the couch, your head on his chest, Changbin’s arm around your middle, and Jisung half-asleep where heis  slumped against Changbin. 

“Round two?” Jisung asks then promptly yawns, making you laugh as Changbin playfully smacks him and Chan just sighs an amused sigh. 

Taking the cue from Jisung’s yawn, you close your eyes and snuggle down. 

“Love you,” you say, drifting off to each of them saying it back.  You know one of them will carry you to bed eventually, so you let yourself drift into sleep, safe and warm, happiest when you are all together, just like this, the four of you always in perfect harmony. 

Ahhh it's soo good!!!

Your Gentle Hands (They Feel Like Home To Me). || Kim Hongjoong. [ Part I ]

Summary: meeting the local outcast shouldn't have ended with you slowly falling for him. yet you did, all while knowing you could never have this man, because you were already someones else's wife. two lovers, a dress shop, and a violent man between it all. we all know how this ends, right? ... right?

Pairing: dressmaker!kim hongjoong x fem. reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Wordcount: 15k

Warnings: playing in the 1800s so general warning for that, reader is married to a very violent man, emotional (justified) infidelity??, misogyny, (domestic) violence, injuries, talks about religion and people suffering because of it, blood, murder, i think that's it??

A/N: can't believe it's finally here. oh my gawd. i love this piece so much, but god did i struggle with it i'm so glad i can finally post part 1. i would really really appreciate reblogs, comments, and likes too, but reblogs are so helpful, so please do it if you liked it it would help me immensely. also comment if anyone would like to be tagged for part 2 of this two-shot! and now onto the most important part: the biggest thanks and hugs and kisses to @yessa-vie and @ghstzzn because without them, this fic would've long been in the damn trash can holy moly. also, thank you so so much to @seulrinnie-rinrin for beating this last minute, i'm so thankful really!! and as always divider credits to @firefly-graphics!

Taglist: @ghstzzn, @kyukyustar, @hwapetals, @foxinnie8, @preciouswoozi, @aussiekpopginger, @kitten4sannie

Available here on AO3.

My Dearest Husband,

The years have been harsh to us, and the cracks in our marriage grow wider with each passing day. Your hands, once embracing me so gentle and loving, now leave bruises upon my skin that no amount of powder or paint can conceal.

I dare not speak of the pain that lingers within me, for fear of invoking your wrath once more. Yet, the time has come for me to break the chains that bind me to this wretched existence and find solace in the arms of another.

Know this, my dear husband, I shall not suffer in silence any longer. Your tyranny shall not be tolerated, and I shall not rest until I am free from the shackles of your oppression.

With every ounce of strength left within me,

[Your Name]

The clock turned midnight.

You sat by the window, the gentle patter of rain against the glass a soothing backdrop to the turmoil raging within your heart. The room felt suffocating, the walls seemingly closing in on you with each passing moment. How long has it been since you last felt a glimmer of hope in this house?

How long has it been since you last felt safe in it?

You closed your eyes. Nothing but silence greeted you.

Good. 

The creak of the floorboards beneath your feet sounded deafening in the silence of the night, and you held your breath, afraid that even the slightest noise would awaken him.

Him.

Your husband, or rather: your own personal tormentor. 

“He's a good man,” your mother in law screamed, her fingernails marking your skin, her eyes desperate and angry. “Be a good wife and learn to obey and endure. My son said it was a mistake, and so be it!”

The black eye he gave you days later told a different story. Yet it didn't matter.

Once outside, you found yourself drawn to the familiar path that led to the edge of the forest. 

Finally stepping outside the small, scruffy looking house, you were greeted by darkness and the occasional chirping of various insects. Luckily, the temperatures were still mild in late September, yet you still pulled the cardigan tighter around you. Despite the darkness and uncertainty that surrounded you, there was a sense of freedom in being away from the suffocating confines of your home.

Just for a little, a few hours, both your mind and body could finally relax.

As you made your way along the familiar path towards the edge of the forest, a sense of anticipation bubbled within you. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you allowed yourself to entertain the possibility of a bit of time free from fear and pain. It would only last a short while, making you lose valuable hours of sleep, but still for you, it was enough.

The path before you seemed to stretch on endlessly, disappearing into the darkness of the woods. Tall, gnarled trees loomed overhead, their branches reaching out like skeletal fingers towards the heavens. The soft rustle of leaves in the gentle breeze filled the air, accompanied by the occasional hoot of an owl or the distant cry of a night bird.

The chirping at the insects had stopped entirely.

Despite the late hour, the forest was buzzing with activity. Small creatures - stray cats and dogs known to frequent the area - scurried among the underbrush, their eyes glowing in the darkness as they went about their nocturnal rituals. Every now and then, the faint glimmer of fireflies could be seen darting through the trees, their soft, golden light illuminating the path ahead.

You followed their lead, heart pounding in your chest as you ventured deeper into the forest. For a split second, your mind wandered back to your husband. You knew he was asleep, passed out blank from the amount of alcohol he consumed at The Saloon, the only pub in your village.

Despite knowing he was asleep, the fear lingered like a dark cloud looming over your every thought. The bruises on your skin served as a constant reminder of his violence, and even in his absence, his presence felt suffocating.

“Meow.”

The sound broke the silence of the night, startling you momentarily, making you almost trip over your own feet. Your heart raced as you glanced around, half expecting to see your husband's shadow looming in the darkness. But there was no sign of him, only the gentle rustle of leaves and the occasional chirp of insects.

He's not here, you reminded yourself, taking a deep, slow breath, it's just a cat. It's okay. You're okay. 

As you stood there, trying to calm your racing heart, the source of the meow emerged from the bushes - a small, scruffy-looking cat with fur as dark as the night itself. 

It's a beautiful cat, you thought.

You crouched down, extending a tentative hand towards the cat. “Hey there, little one,” you murmured softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Are you out here all alone?”

The cat looked you up and down for a moment, then cautiously approached, its movements slow and careful at first. It sniffed your outstretched hand, then rubbed its head against your fingers, purring softly.

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you gently scratched behind the cat's ears.

“Looks like we're both seeking some peace in the night,” you said, your words more for yourself than for the cat. But in that moment, it felt like the cat understood, as if it were offering you silent companionship in this dark, lonely forest.

With a sigh, you leaned back against a nearby tree, the cat following and curling up beside you. 

“I should give you a name, right?” you hummed. The cat didn't respond, just continued purring as your fingers went through its unkempt yet soft fur.

“I have the gut feeling that you're a boy, so… let's name you Benji, shall we?”

You giggled as Benji took your hand in his paws, gently biting and licking while his purring filled your ears. 

“You like it? What a good, sweet boy.”

Suddenly, a rustling in the bushes nearby startled you, tearing your gaze away from Benji. The cat hissed, and only then you saw what was making the noise: a… goat? 

A goat that was now sprinting right at you at full speed. Panicked, you hurried to your feet, backing away slowly only to be met by the tree you previously set by. You turned around to run, but as you did, the goat lunged forward, catching your dress with its horns and tearing the fabric apart. A loud scream - your loud scream - echoed through the night, and you fell to the ground, your knees and hands immediately starting to bleed as they hit the forest floor. 

“Help!” you screamed, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart and the goat's relentless assault. In a desperate attempt to escape, you scrambled away, your hands and knees scraping against the rough ground once again, blood mingling with dirt as you crawled towards another tree, away from the animal. “Somebody, please help me!”

Your desperate cries pierced through the darkness. Every fibre of your being screamed for someone to hear your plea and rescue you from this nightmare.

And then, as if conjured by your sheer desperation, a male voice cut through the night. 

“Let her be, you damn goat!” 

Oh finally.

You turned towards the source of the voice, your heart pounding in your chest as you beheld the figure emerging from the shadows. In the darkness, you couldn't see his features clearly, but the silhouette of a lean figure emerged from the shadows. His stature was not imposing, but there was a quiet strength in the way he carried himself. Short, tousled hair framed his face, and his clean-shaven jawline hinted at a youthful charm. Despite his lean frame, there was a sense of agility and grace in his movements as he approached, his steps purposeful yet cautious. His clothes, though worn and faded, spoke of practicality rather than luxury, and the faint glint of silver caught your eye as moonlight danced upon a necklace around his neck.

“Get back, Django,” he commanded, his voice stern and serious. 

For a moment, it seemed as though the goat - Django - hesitated, its wild eyes darting between you and the stranger as if weighing its options. But then, with a defiant snort, the goat actually backed away, its hooves scraping against the forest floor as it retreated back to its owner's side.

You watched in stunned silence as the young man approached, his expression softened by a glimmer of concern. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice gentler now.

You nodded weakly, your body trembling with a mixture of fear and relief as you struggled to sit up. He offered you a hand, and you accepted it gratefully, allowing him to help you to your feet. “Thank you,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you met his gaze.

Your eyes widened. 

You knew this man. 

It was hard not to, because the women at the market loved to gossip about him.

“He's a filthy man. Have you seen the dresses he makes? Outrageous.”

His name was Kim Hongjoong, you believed, a man known for his unconventional ways and said ‘outrageous’ dresses he crafted.

The women's cruel words towards him echoed in your mind, their voices dripping with disgust whenever his name was mentioned. They spoke of him as if he were beneath them, a plague, to be avoided at all costs. But as you looked at him now, you saw none of the malice they spoke of, only kindness and a smile etched into his features.

Hongjoong's eyes softened at your words. He had a pretty face, you realised, staring up at him in awe and curiosity.

You are a married woman! Oh Lord, may you save me from those malicious, evil thoughts!

“You shouldn't be out here alone,” he said, his voice tinged with concern. 

“I'm always here alone,” you responded. “It's my safe space.”

Instead of pressing you further, his eyes scanned your form, his expression growing more serious as he took in the extent of both your wounds and torn dress.

“It's even worse than I thought…” He looked at Django, who's now freely roaming around, seemingly no longer agitated and angry. “This goddamn goat,” he groaned.

“Is he always like this?” you asked.

Hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair as he glanced back at Django with a mixture of frustration and resignation. “Unfortunately, yes,” he replied, “He's a stubborn creature, to say the least. His former owner wanted to slaughter him because he was aggressive towards humans and goats alike, but I convinced him to let me take care of him instead.”

“That's very noble of you,” you remarked, a sense of admiration evident in your voice. “Not many would take in a troubled animal like Django and give him a chance to change.”

Hongjoong offered you a small, appreciative smile, his eyes reflecting a hint of pride. “It hasn't been easy,” he admitted, patting Django's head, “But despite a few angry outbursts here and there, he's actually been adjusting well.”

You hummed, still keeping your distance from the goat that just attacked you. You and him probably won't become friends any time soon.

“Do you think you are able to walk?”

You nodded, though the pain throbbing in your knees and hands contradict your words. “I'll be fine,” you assured him, though your voice faltered slightly as you spoke.

Hongjoong's gaze softened with concern as he observed your state, his brows furrowing slightly with worry. “Are you sure?” he asked, his tone gentle yet insistent. “You're hurt, and it's not safe for you to be out here alone, especially with those injuries.”

You hesitated. Despite your initial plan to find solace and peace in the forest, you couldn't deny the reality of your situation - bruised, bleeding, and very much in need of assistance.

Swallowing your pride, you met Hongjoong's gaze with a grateful nod. “I... I think I could use some help,” you admitted, your voice wavering slightly with a mixture of exhaustion and relief.

Without hesitation, Hongjoong stepped closer, offering you his arm for support. “Here," he said, “Lean on me. We'll get you patched up and back home safely.”

“N-no!” you screeched, making Hongjoong falter in his steps and shoot you a confused look, “I-i mean, the night's still young, am I right? There's no need to return home just yet…”

“Why are you avoiding your own home?”

Your heart raced at his question, and you could feel your pulse pounding in your ears. His straightforwardness caught you off-guard, yet you tried - and failed - to hide your uneasiness and upcoming fear.

“You wouldn't understand,” you whispered.

Avoiding his eyes, you bit your lip, unsure of how to respond. The fear of revealing too much, of exposing the dark secrets of your marriage, held you back. You couldn't bear the thought of anyone knowing the truth, let alone a stranger who could very much use this information against you.

Hongjoong must have sensed your hesitation, for he didn't press further. Instead, he offered a gentle smile, his eyes filled with understanding. “It's alright,” he said softly. “You don't have to explain. Let's just get you somewhere safe and comfortable for now.”

His words and tone surprised you. You were accustomed to being met with demands and anger, not patience and empathy. The contrast left you feeling both confused and intrigued. Why was he being so kind to you? What did he hope to gain from helping a stranger in the middle of the night?

You accepted his support, leaning on him as you walked, your steps slow and cautious. The pain in your knees and hands was a constant reminder of your current vulnerability, but Hongjoong's steady presence provided a strange sense of comfort. Despite your initial wariness, you found yourself beginning to trust him.

Oh, what a foolish woman you are.

“Where will you take me?”

“To my house. It would be a shame if your husband would see you like this, with visible injuries and a torn dress, wouldn't it?”

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

That's how long you stared into his eyes, and he stared into yours.

Both of you knew what this meant.

Yet no one spoke it out loud. Society forbade it. 

You exhaled a trembling breath, the truth of his words settling heavily between you. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, “It would be a shame.”

Hongjoong’s eyes softened, as if he could read the unspoken pain behind your words. “Let’s go, then,” he said gently, guiding you along the path with Django following closely behind.

“You know,” you whispered, “a married woman should never visit a bachelor's property alone. Especially at such late hours.”

Hongjoong glanced at you, a faint, yet boyish smile playing on his lips. “If you go by the rules of society, then yes,” he said, “but I'm known to do the exact opposite.”

Hongjoong's house came into view after a short walk through the forest. It was a modest building outside the small village, yet it looked charming, nestled amid tall trees that swayed gently in the night breeze. The front was adorned with a small, covered porch, where a couple of wooden chairs and a table sat invitingly. Ivy climbed up the walls, giving the house an almost fairytale-like quality.

It seemed to be well kept too, a stark contrast to your own home.

As you approached, you noticed the sign above the door, “Kim’s Dressmaking,” written in elegant, swirling letters. It was clear that the front of the house doubled as a shop. The large windows displayed a variety of dresses, each more beautiful and intricate than the last, their fabrics shimmering softly in the dim light. 

You remembered the villager's harsh words, and for a small second you thought: should you really follow this unruly man? What if anyone would see you entering his house at night, completely alone?

But you also knew this was quite literally the only solution right now, because if your husband saw you at home tending to your wounds he'd know of your nightly trips, and you couldn't let that happen.

So, the outcast’s house it was.

Hongjoong, who just escorted Django back to a small stall behind the property, passed you and pushed open the door, the bell above it tinkling softly. The interior of the shop was a burst of colour and creativity. Dresses of all styles and fabrics lined the walls, hung from mannequins, and lay draped over chairs and tables. Ribbons, lace, and beads were strewn about in an organised chaos that spoke of hours of dedicated craftsmanship. The scent of fresh fabric and a hint of lavender lingered in the air.

These dresses were made for royalty, beautiful and extravagant, unlike anything normal citizens would wear. You pitied Hongjoong; his talent was being wasted in a small village, while queens and princesses should be the ones wearing them, not women talking badly about his craft the second he turned his back on them.

“Welcome to my workshop,” Hongjoong said, a note of pride in his voice. He led you through the shop and towards a door at the back. “The living area is just through here.”

You followed him into a cozy living space that was a stark contrast to the bustling shop. The room was warmly lit by a few oil lamps, casting a soft glow over the rustic wooden furniture. A large, comfortable-looking sofa took up most of one wall, with a knitted blanket draped over it. Shelves lined with books and trinkets filled another wall, and a small fireplace crackled with a gentle fire, providing a soothing warmth. A modest kitchen area occupied one corner, with a wooden table and two chairs positioned nearby.

“Sit,” Hongjoong instructed gently, guiding you to the sofa. “I'll get some water and bandages for your wounds.”

“Yes, sir,” you giggled, a childlike euphoria suddenly overcoming you. He shot you a grin in response.

You sank into the sofa, the softness a welcome relief after the night's ordeal. You watched as Hongjoong moved around in the kitchen, his movements swift and efficient.

After a few minutes, he returned with a bowl of warm water, a clean cloth, and a small box of medical supplies. He knelt beside you, his eyes focused and serious as he gently took your hands in his.

“This might sting a bit,” he warned, dipping the cloth into the water and carefully cleaning the dirt and blood from your scrapes. His touch was surprisingly gentle, and you found yourself relaxing under his care.

“Thank you,” you murmured, watching him work. The tenderness in his actions was a stark contrast to the harshness you had endured at home.

“You're welcome,” he replied softly, his eyes meeting yours briefly before returning to his task. He worked silently for a few moments, cleaning and bandaging your wounds with practised ease.

“Now,” he said, standing up and cleaning his hands with the washcloth, “all we gotta do is fix your dress now to avoid your husband suspecting anything.”

“I… I don't have any money to pay you,” you admitted.

Hongjoong shook his head, a kind smile playing on his lips. "Don't worry about that," he said. “Consider it my way of helping a neighbour in need. I mean, it was my goat who put you in this situation after all.”

The kindness in his words brought tears to your eyes, and you had to look away to hide your emotions. It's been an hour since you've met this man, and yet he already treated you better than people whom you should be closest to. It had been so long since someone had shown you such genuine care and concern.

Hongjoong led you to a small sewing table in the corner of the room, surrounded by bolts of fabric, spools of thread, and an array of needles and scissors. He pulled out a chair for you and you sat down, feeling a sense of peace settle over you.

“Can I ask another favour of you?” you asked quietly.

Hongjoong knelt down, now looking up to you. It made your heart beat faster, and you hated yourself for it.

“Go ahead,” he said, encouraging you to speak.

“Please don't leave any obvious stitches… my husband would notice and then he would get mad and I really don't-” 

“Hey, hey,” Hongjoong shushed you, carefully taking your trembling hand in his own.

His gentle touch seemed to soothe you immediately. 

“I'll give my very best. Your husband won't notice anything amiss,” he promised.

As he worked, carefully mending the torn fabric of your dress, you watched his skilled hands move with precision and grace. His focus was unwavering, and you couldn't help but admire the artistry in his every movement.

“You know,” you said softly, breaking the silence, “the women in the village talk about you. They say your dresses are too extravagant for common folk.”

Hongjoong chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I've heard the gossip,” he admitted. “But I don't create these dresses for them. Let's say my clients are of more… different backgrounds.”

“You mean women of wealthier status?”

“Indeed.”

You couldn't help but giggle at Hongjoong's response.

“So does that mean… Did you just… indirectly make fun of those women, Hongjoong?” you asked, trying to stifle your laughter.

A mischievous smile spread across his face as he glanced up at you. “Maybe I did,” he replied, his eyes twinkling with a playful glint. “But it's only fair, don't you think? They judge me without understanding, too.”

You laughed again, the sound feeling foreign yet welcome to your own ears. 

Hongjoong’s returned to his work, his fingers working fast, his concentration unwavering. You watched him in awe. There was something comforting about watching him work, knowing he was doing his best to help you. And on top of that, his skills fascinated you. You didn't know much about the craft of dressmaking, yet even a layin like you knew that true skill was needed for such incredible work.

And Kim Hongjoong definitely had that skill.

“Why do you stay here?” you asked after a moment of silence, curiosity getting the better of you. “You could be making dresses for queens and princesses, living a life far away from all the judgement and poverty of this village.”

Hongjoong paused, his needle stopping mid-air as he looked up at you once again. “I could do that, you're right,” he agreed, “but I prefer living peacefully. Going back to the court… it's not what I want anymore. People there are difficult.”

“More difficult than here?”

He laughed. “Yeah, actually. Just in a different way.”

You hummed. Hongjoong finished mending your dress, carefully examining his work before looking up at you with a satisfied smile. “There,” he said, “all done. Your husband won’t notice a thing.”

You looked down at the dress, marvelling at his skill. The stitches were invisible, the fabric as good as new. “Thank you,” you said, your gratitude heavily evident in your voice.

He stood up, offering you his hand once more. “Let me walk you home,” he said. “It’s not safe for you to go alone.”

Panic rushed through you at his suggestion, your heart pounding in your chest. You jerked back, withdrawing your hand from his as if his touch burned you.

“No,” you said, your voice trembling, “I can't let you do that. What if someone sees us together? What if my husband finds out?”

Hongjoong's brows furrowed in concern. “But it’s not safe for you to walk alone at this hour. After what happened in the forest, I can’t just let you go unaccompanied.”

You shook your head vehemently, your hands clenching the fabric of your freshly mended dress. “I appreciate your kindness, Hongjoong, but you don’t understand. If anyone sees us together, it will only get worse for me. My husband… he's not a kind man. He'll make my life a living hell.”

Hongjoong's expression softened. He reached out as if to comfort you, but then hesitated as you took another step back. “I won’t let anything happen to you, but I understand your fear. At least let me watch and follow you from a distance, to make sure you get home safely.”

You nodded reluctantly. It was late after all, and even though the village was small, you still didn't feel safe walking back alone. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Just… Please, be careful.”

Hongjoong gave you a reassuring nod. “I promise. Just stay close to the path, and I’ll make sure you get home safely.” He led you to the door, and as you stepped out into the night, the cool air brushing against your skin, you felt a sudden sadness overcoming you.

You didn't want to leave. Or moreover: you didn't want to go back. Back to him. 

With a final glance back at Hongjoong, you set off down the path, which was the opposite direction of where you first came to his house from the forest. 

The journey felt shorter than you wanted it to be, and before long, the familiar sight of your house came into view. The windows were dark, a sign that your husband was thankfully still asleep. You stopped at the edge of your property, your heart pounding in your chest as you glanced back at the shadowy figure of Hongjoong standing in the distance.

With a final nod and a slight wave, you turned away and walked up to the door. You opened it as quietly as you could, slipping inside and closing it behind you with a soft click. The house was silent, and only the steady ticking of the clock on the wall could be heard. You held your breath, listening for any sign of movement from your husband.

Silence. Good.

Because silence was always better than his usual rage and violence. 

“This is a good night,” you murmured. You quietly moved to the window, trying to see if Hongjoong was still there.

One last time. I gotta see him just one last time. 

But unfortunately, your kind and pretty stranger was no longer there.

The trees seemed to slowly close in around you. 

The forest surrounding you felt alive, watching, waiting.

A shiver ran down your spine as the sound of rustling leaves echoed ominously through the forest.

Just three more steps. One. Two. Three-

“Y/N?”

“Dear God!”

The sudden movement caused the reason you were here today to dart deeper into the underbrush. “Benji!” you called out, frustration now evident in your frantic voice.

Hongjoong stepped closer. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. What… are you doing here?”

You sighed. “I'm looking for a little cat. Met the little one last week, shortly before Django attacked me. He was gone afterwards. I've been coming here all week, but it's of no use. Last week he was so trusting, but now… it's so hard to even get close to him.”

The sun was piercing through the trees on this warm Friday evening, and you had to squint your eyes as you looked in the direction Benji ran away. 

“I can't see him anymore,” you said.

Hongjoong’s expression softened. “Do you want some help?” he asked. You nodded, shooting him an appreciative smile. “I’d really like that.”

The two of you moved cautiously, stepping lightly over the forest floor. The silence between you was punctuated only by the occasional crack of a twig or the rustle of leaves.

As you neared the spot where you last saw Benji, Hongjoong held up a hand, signalling for you to stop. He crouched down, peering into the thick bushes.

“There,” he whispered, pointing. “I see him.”

You followed his gaze and spotted the little cat, his eyes wide and alert as he watched you both from the shadows.

“Benji,” you called softly, your voice gentle. “It’s okay, buddy. We’re here to help you.”

Slowly, painstakingly, Benji inched closer, drawn by the sound of your voice. You took a tentative step forward, trying to maintain your balance on the uneven ground. Just as you were about to reach him, your foot slipped into a hidden hole in the forest floor. You stumbled, your ankle twisting painfully as you almost fell.

Behind you, Hongjoong reacted instantly, his strong hand grabbing your arm to steady you. You hissed in pain as his grip tightened around a particularly sore spot.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

You nodded quickly, trying to brush it off. “Yeah, just twisted my ankle a bit.” You chuckled awkwardly. “It's quite funny, isn't it? I always get hurt when we meet.”

But Hongjoong didn’t let go. His eyes narrowed as he noticed the bruises on your arm, previously hidden by your sleeve. “Y/N… what happened?” he asked, his voice a mix of anger and concern.

You swallowed hard, looking away. “It’s nothing. Just an accident at home.”

He shook his head, his grip gentle but firm. “Y/N, don’t lie to me. Was this… your husband?”

You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “Hongjoong, please. Y-you know I can't talk about it.”

“I know,” he whispered, “But…” 

He didn't continue his sentence. Instead, his eyes found yours, and everything he couldn't say, every single, unspoken emotion you found there, hidden behind those kind, brown orbs. 

And you understood. You understood that if this man had the chance to change your situation, he would do it. Whatever it would take, and all for you. 

A married woman. Practically a stranger still, despite the intimate moment you shared.

In that very moment, you sinned.

And God was your only witness as you fell a little bit for a man that wasn't your husband.

“Meow.”

Benji’s soft meow brought you back to the present. You looked down to see the little cat rubbing against your leg, practically purring his heart out. You reached down, gently scooping the little Grey fur ball up into your arms.

Hongjoong watched you, his expression unreadable to you. “He's still so little. You sure his mother isn't nearby as well?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I've been here to get him every day and haven't seen any other cat here. He seems to be completely alone.”

“Alright then, let’s get him to my home first. We’ll figure something out then.”

You nodded. Without even mentioning, Hongjoong knew you couldn't take him to your own home. 

The path back seemed shorter, perhaps because you weren't alone anymore. Benji fidgeted a lot, but wasn't as much of a trouble as you originally thought. 

When you reached the edge of the forest, the sunlight was brighter, and you could hear the distant sounds of the town.

“I'm glad you don't have any close neighbours.”

“I'm also glad. Because if I did, I wouldn't be able to see you right now Y/N,” he said, and smiled. Oh, that goddamn smile. 

You're not quite sure what it meant, but you felt your heart skip a beat. It was something so beautiful only described in those ‘unholy’ books your mother forbade you to read, but ended up doing anyway. You felt like a young girl again, curious and desperate for love, seeking solace in men that weren't real, but oh so charming.

Men who couldn't hurt you. Couldn't touch any part of your body, only your pure heart.

Yeah, that's how Kim Hongjoong made you feel. With only a smile. 

You felt like you were flying, so free and happy and brave and young again. Like you could conquer the whole world together. 

But Kim Hongjoong wasn't yours. Because in no world could you ever become his.

Stepping foot into his shop was like entering another work, and even though you've already seen his gorgeous dresses, you still looked at them in awe. 

“One day,” you whispered. 

“If you want, you can try a dress on. No one will bother us since the store's closed today.”

You shivered. Hongjoong stood almost right behind you, his warmth radiating off his body.

The temptation to indulge in this small fantasy was strong, but you shook your head. “I couldn’t possibly,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing at all,” Hongjoong replied, his tone gentle yet insistent. “Think of it as a gift. Besides, I could use some help around here.”

Your curiosity piqued and you turned to face him. “Help? With what?”

He gestured to the array of dresses on display. “I’ve been working on some new designs, but I don’t have a proper model to try them on. I use mannequins for display, but it’s not the same. I need someone to see how the dresses move and fit in real life. You can work for me in exchange for taking in Benji. Model my dresses, help me with fittings and adjustments. It’s a fair trade, don’t you think?”

“I'd like that,” you whispered, “it's just… these dresses are made for royalty, not for a woman like… like me, Hongjoong.”

He vehemently shook his head. “You underestimate yourself, Y/N. Just try one on, for me?”

You nodded slowly, and he selected a dress from the rack, a soft, flowing gown in a shade of deep emerald. You took it from him, feeling the weight and texture of the fabric, smooth and luxurious against your skin.

Hongjoong led you to a small changing area behind a curtain. You stepped behind it, your heart pounding. Carefully, you undressed and slipped into the gown. The fabric felt cool and comforting, draping over your body with an unexpected ease. You adjusted the dress, feeling its weight settle around you, and took a deep breath before stepping out.

Hongjoong's reaction was immediate and genuine. His eyes widened, a look of pure admiration spreading across his face. “Y/N,” he breathed, “you look… stunning.”

You blushed, feeling embarrassed yet also undeniably charmed. “I don’t know about that. It feels strange, like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.”

“You’re not pretending,” he said softly, stepping closer. “This is you, Y/N. The real you. Sometimes a princess just needs the right dress to feel like one.”

You hesitated, still feeling unsure. “It’s just… I’m not used to this. I feel out of place.”

Hongjoong’s gaze was steady and reassuring, not once taking his eyes off of you. “You belong in this dress, Y/N. Trust me. Walk around a bit, feel the fabric, see how it moves with you.”

You took a tentative step, then another. The dress flowed around you, the fabric whispering against your skin. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror, and for the first time, you saw what Hongjoong saw – a woman who was strong, beautiful, and so, so much more.

“See?” he said softly, standing right behind you. “You’re perfect.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you fought hard to hold them back.

You're perfect.

Oh Hongjoong, you thought, I'm anything but. I'm lost, I'm weak, I'm scared. 

But instead, with his eyes on you, calm and beautiful and so honest looking, all you could mutter was, “Yes. Yes I am.”

He looked at you proudly.

And so, the hours went by, spent with you trying on several more gorgeous dresses and Hongjoong eagerly taking notes and making small changes here and there. 

With each dress you tried on, you felt a little more confident. The first few moments were always awkward, feeling out of place and almost guilty for indulging in this fantasy. But Hongjoong’s constant reassurance and the genuine admiration in his eyes slowly chipped away at your insecurities.

The emerald gown gave way to a sky-blue dress that shimmered in the light. Then a deep burgundy number that made your skin glow. Each dress was a work of art, and each time you emerged from behind the curtain, Hongjoong’s reaction was the same – pure, unadulterated admiration.

“You’re like a vision,” he murmured as you twirled in a pale pink gown. “These dresses come to life on you.”

By the time you tried on the final dress, a stunning midnight blue creation with delicate silver embroidery, you felt like a different person. The woman in the mirror was confident, elegant, and yes, perfect.

Like the princess from your book coming straight to life.

“You must be exhausted,” Hongjoong hummed, helping you step down the small podium, “go ahead and change while I fetch you something to drink, okay?”

“Okay.”

You slipped back behind the curtain. As you changed out of the midnight blue gown into your ordinary clothes, you felt the weight of reality slowly setting in again. 

Looking outside and seeing the sun slowly disappearing meant you head to return home.

Hongjoong returned with a glass of water and a soft smile. “Here you go,” he said, handing you the drink. “You did amazing today, Y/N. Thank you for helping me.”

You took the glass gratefully, feeling the cool water soothe your parched throat. “I'm glad I could be of help.”

“Alright, same day and time next week?” he asked.

Without wasting a second, you agreed. “Yes. I'll be there, Hongjoong.”

Wherever there was light, the lurking darkness was never far away, and you realised that pretty early on.

Even before Hongjoong stumbled into your life, you noticed something. Your husband wasn't coming home after getting off work, instead opting to spend his free time in the town's tavern or with his various affair partners.

And to be honest, you didn't mind.

Instead, you were happy about it. So so happy.

That is, until the townspeople started talking. Ruthlessly. And not about your abusive, alcoholic and cheating husband; no, about you - the ‘bad, sinning wife.’

The wife who couldn't be obedient enough. The wife who couldn't give him children. 

It was unbearable. Their words stung and hurt you deeply, but they were true.

…Right?

Your childhood and adolescence were spent learning about your future duties as a wife. Taking care of the house, obeying your husband without question, birthing his children and believing in God and his good deeds.

And you failed all these duties, so you deserved to be frowned upon. 

Even your own family thought so, too.

The only person who didn't was Kim Hongjoong, who was currently working on a purple gown you stood model for just a few minutes ago.

If he noticed how quiet you were today, he didn't mention it. 

“How does it look?” he asked, glancing up at you shyly, like your opinion truly mattered to him.

“It’s beautiful,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. The gown was stunning, but that was to be expected of him. But today, even his pretty dresses couldn't cheer you up.

He nodded, a faint smile touching his lips. “It's even prettier when you're wearing it, Y/N.”

You blushed previously, but only managed a small smile in return, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “Thank you, Hongjoong. I just… I’m not feeling very well today.”

Hongjoong set his needle and thread aside, his full attention now on you. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The genuine concern in his voice was almost your undoing. You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself, your finger nestling with the fabric of your shabby dress. “It’s nothing, really. Just… the usual gossip in town.”

His expression darkened slightly. “People can be cruel. You don’t deserve that.”

“Maybe I do,” you said quietly, looking away. “Maybe they’re right.”

“No,” Hongjoong said firmly, stepping closer. “They’re not right. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You’re strong, and kind, and… you deserve so much more than what you’ve been given.”

A sob escaped your lips and you hid your face behind your hands, unable to face Hongjoong's eyes.

“H-how did you deal with this all alone? I can't… I don't even wanna leave my house anymore. The looks they give me, their words… It hurts so much, but I know they're right. I know that I-”

“What could you have possibly done wrong, Y/N?” Hongjoong cut you off, and for the first time since you've known him, he'd raised his voice, and you flinched, because anger could only ever mean one thing and soon his hands would-

His hands slowly took yours into his own, and instead of hurting you, they caressed you carefully as tears fell down your cheeks.

“I'm a bad wife, Hongjoong…”

He vehemently shook his head, his hands gripping your own tighter. “No, Y/N. You're not a bad wife. He is a bad husband.”

“Do you believe in God, Hongjoong?” you quietly asked.

He visibly tensed up, avoiding all eye contact. 

“It's okay,” you quickly reassured him, “I know in my religion it's a sin not believing, but since I'm also struggling… I really have no room to judge you for not believing in God. I also had my suspicions already, since you're one of the only people in town who doesn't attend Sunday mass.”

Hongjoong's shoulders relaxed a little, though he still seemed wary. "I don't know what I believe anymore," he admitted. "But I do know this: no god worth believing in would want you to suffer in a marriage like this.”

“I- please don't say that. God is good, he knows all, and if I am getting punished t-then that means that I deserve it! There's a verse... ah, God, a-according to... to Ephesians 5:22-24, ‘Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything’.”

Hongjoong sighed, his expression a mix of both frustration and empathy. “Y/N, I understand that those verses have been drilled into you, but what about the rest of it? The parts that speak about love and respect?”

You looked down, your hands trembling slightly. “I’ve tried to love and respect him, but nothing I do is ever enough.”

“That’s because he should give you the same love and respect in return, yet he doesn't,” Hongjoong said softly. “A true marriage should be a partnership, where both people uplift and support each other. What you have isn’t that.”

“But what if God is just testing me to see if my faith in him is strong enough? And I'm clearly failing him because I'm weak and… and… oh God.” You started sobbing uncontrollably again.

Hongjoong wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you cried. He spoke softly, his voice steady and reassuring. "Y/N, if God is testing you, it’s not to see you suffer but to help you find your strength. And strength doesn’t mean staying in a place where you are being hurt. Strength is knowing when to stand up for yourself and seek the life you deserve."

You clung to him like a child to its mother, your tears soaking his shirt. "I don’t know if I can do that. I’ve never known anything else.”

“You asked me if I believed in God,” he reluctantly began, “and… it's complicated. I do believe in something, like a higher power that none of us can truly grasp, but… I don't believe in the Christian God. Or any other religion's God for that matter. Because to me, believing in something shouldn't come with any rules. Yet all religions do it, and I just… I think that's wrong. They label anything that they aren't comfortable with immediately as bad. I learned that the hard way.”

You pulled back slightly, looking at him with curiosity through your tear-streaked eyes. "What do you mean?"

Hongjoong sighed, his eyes distant as he recalled. "I was… different growing up. I didn’t fit the stereotype that everyone expected. I was more interested in art and fashion than in the traditional roles laid out for men in our community. I grew up in a small religious city just like you and because of that, I faced a lot of judgement. I was labelled a sinner, a bad person, just like you are now. But what truly opened my eyes was when I met two men whom I quickly grew close with. Well… they were in love with each other, and the people from my town… they planned to kill them. By publicly executing them. That night, the three of us ran away, and I haven't been back since.”

“What I also wanna say,” he added before you could speak, “is that if you truly believe in the Christian God and it makes you happy you should never give up your faith. But Y/N… you're not happy, not with your religion and definitely not with your marriage.”

Deep down, you knew he was right. But that also meant that your whole life, your whole upbringing was nothing but a lie. Nothing but pure manipulation. 

And you weren't ready to admit that yet.

He held you for what felt like hours, humming soft melodies and caressing your back over and over again.

“I'm sorry,” you said, your words muffled in his shirt, “I'm sorry for not being able to choose the right path yet.”

“Oh, you silly woman.” he laughed and squeezed you tightly again, “don't you dare apologise for taking your time.”

“Okay,” you hiccuped, wiping your tears away, “I'm sorry for apologising- Oh God, I just did it again.”

Hongjoong chuckled softly, his laughter mixing with your own, lightening the heavy mood. 

After a while, he backed up, and you immediately started missing his arms around you. “Hey, I know you're not feeling too well today, but there's something I wanna do. Something for… for you.”

“For me?” you asked surprised.

“Yeah. You only stood model for dresses that needed nothing but slight retouching, but… I wanna do a dress specifically for you.”

“For me?” you repeated, disbelief colouring your voice. “You’d make a dress just for me?”

Hongjoong smiled warmly, nodding. “Yes, just for you. You're like my muse, Y/N. You give me so many ideas.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you felt your cheeks flaring up. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything,” Hongjoong replied gently. “Just let me do this for you.”

You hesitated, then nodded slowly, trusting this man completely. “Okay.”

Hongjoong’s face lit up with pure excitement. “Great! Come, I have some ideas already.”

He led you into one of the rooms behind the shop. You quickly saw this was the place where he worked, full of mannequins, fabrics and more. He quickly set to work, pulling out fabrics and sketching designs into a sketchbook. His enthusiasm was infectious, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of genuine happiness.

“Do you have any preferences?” Hongjoong asked, looking up from his sketches. “A colour you love, a style you’ve always wanted to try?”

You thought for a moment. “I’ve always loved blue,” you admitted. “It reminds me of the sky, the sea… freedom.”

Hongjoong’s smile widened. “Blue it is, then. I can already see you in it, it suits you.”

As Hongjoong started working, you watched him silently in awe. His hands moved with precision and grace, his focus unwavering. It was clear that this truly was his passion, and he poured his heart into every stitch.

Hours passed, but there was still much to do. The room was filled with the soothing sound of fabric rustling and the rhythmic click of scissors. Hongjoong occasionally asked for your opinion, and after a while, Benji joined too, placing himself onto your lap and purring so loudly it made Hongjoong lose focus several times.

When the sun started slowly disappearing, it meant the end of your weekly session. “We made good progress today,” Hongjoong said, smiling. “Let's continue next week.”

When you returned home that day, the smile Hongjoong put on your face still hadn't left your face, not even when you saw the mess in your house or your husband passed out on the couch, completely wasted. Instead, you quietly started cleaning, all your worries and problems elsewhere because at that very moment, all you could think of was a certain man named Kim Hongjoong. 

And how you wished that, in another world, he could be your husband instead.

The next weeks seemed to drag on endlessly, each and every day filled with the same monotonous routine. Your husband’s drinking worsened, and the church, which had once been your one and only safe space, was slowly turning into a place you started to resent more and more each day, because every pair that laid its eyes on you was not viewing you with any kindness, but judgement, and the shame, the utter humiliation you felt was steadily becoming too much to handle. Yet, you reminded yourself that you did have something to look forward to: seeing Hongjoong once a week.

Every session with Hongjoong was a reprieve from the relentless condemnation you faced in the town. His shop became your sanctuary, a place where you could be yourself without fear of judgement. He was always there with a warm smile and a listening ear, making you feel valued and understood in a way you hadn't felt in years.

In a way not even family or close friends could.

One afternoon, as you entered his shop, you were greeted by Hongjoong slumped over his desk, sound asleep with both fabric and needles still in his hands.

You quietly walked over, careful not to startle him. Gently, you took the fabric and needles from his hands, setting them aside. You noticed dark circles under his eyes and the way his clothes hung loosely on his frame, signs of the toll his hard work and sleepless nights were taking on him.

Behind you, Benji made a sound, jumping on the table and staring at his owner.

“Your daddy is a little foolish for overworking himself, am I right baby?” you said, quietly chuckling as Benji laid his head in your outstretched hand. He didn't pay his owner any mind.

Hongjoong stirred at the sound of your voice, blinking awake. When he saw you, a sheepish smile tugged at his lips. “Y/N, I'm sorry. I must have dozed off.”

“Don't apologise,” you replied softly, still occupied with petting Benji. “You need to take better care of yourself, Joongie. You've been working too hard.”

He blushed at the nickname you called him, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “I just… wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

“Perfection can wait,” you said gently. “Your health can't.”

He nodded, looking genuinely touched by your concern. “I'll try to rest more. I promise.”

Benji meowed softly, seemingly agreeing with you, and you couldn't help but laugh. “Even Benji thinks so.”

“I'm pretty sure Benji would agree to everything his mommy would say, he practically worships the ground you walk on,” Hongjoong chuckled, reaching out to scratch the needy cat behind the ears. At your insistent gaze, he reluctantly agreed: “Alright, alright. I'll take it easy.”

“Good,” you said, smiling. “Now, how about some tea? It looks like you could use a break.”

Hongjoong nodded appreciatively. “That sounds wonderful.”

You made your way to the small kitchenette in the back of the shop, preparing two cups of tea. As the water boiled, you glanced back at Hongjoong, who was now petting Benji and looking more relaxed. It warmed your heart to see him taking a moment for himself.

When the tea was ready, you brought the cups over to the table and handed one to Hongjoong. He took a sip, closing his eyes as he savoured the warmth. “Thank you, Y/N. This is just what I needed.”

“You do so much for me, let me tend to you once in a while too,” you said.

You both sat in comfortable silence for a while, respectively sipping your tea. After a few moments, Hongjoong broke the silence. “I've been thinking a lot lately,” he began, his voice tentative. “About what you said last time, about the church and how they've been treating you.”

You looked up from your tea, meeting his eyes. “What about it?”

“I've seen how much it's been weighing on you, and it breaks my heart,” he said, his gaze sincere. “But as a mere villager, my hands are bound, although I wish it would be different. Do you think… Do you think it would help if I would accompany you to Sunday mass? Of course separately, but maybe… maybe that could be of help to you.”

Your heart thudded in your chest, the sound almost deafening in the quiet of the room. His offer sent waves of emotions crashing through you.

No one had ever been this kind, this lovely to you, especially a man.

You stared at him, momentarily speechless, the weight of his words settling over you like a warm, comforting blanket. He wanted to help you, to stand by you in a place that had become a source of pain and humiliation, for the both of you. He cared enough to offer a hand in a situation he knew he had no control over, and the realisation hit you like a bolt of lightning.

You glanced down at your cup, the steam rising in delicate tendrils, and tried to steady your breathing. You had always known that Hongjoong was different, that he was shunned for being different, and that he had a kindness and understanding that was rare in this judgmental town. But now, as you sat there with him, you also realised something else: your feelings for him ran deeper than you had allowed yourself to acknowledge.

Million thoughts swirled in your mind. How could you feel this way about him when you were still bound to a man who had long since stopped caring for you? Your duty as a wife was to be loyal to your husband till death do you apart, and you failed. Miserably. Was it fair to Hongjoong, who had done nothing but support and uplift you, to be dragged into your complicated, painful life? 

No. He deserved a woman who could give him everything he wanted, and that definitely wasn't you. You couldn't even give him your hand in marriage.

And yet, despite the confusion and the guilt, there was an undeniable truth you couldn't ignore: you were falling for him. 

He was the prince you long had hoped you'd find, but you weren't his princess.

You thought back to all the times he had been there for you, his gentle words and warm smiles, the way he listened to you without judgement, making you feel seen and heard. His dedication to his craft, his passion for creating beauty in a world that often seemed devoid of it, mirrored the passion he had for helping you and any living being he encountered. It was this combination of compassion and creativity, of understanding and resilience, that drew you to him like a moth to a flame.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked back at him, his concerned expression making your heart ache. 

He had no idea what was going on inside your head, and in this very moment you made a promise to yourself: the feelings you harboured for this beautiful, perfect man would be kept a secret forever. You would take them with you to your very death.

You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. “Hongjoong,” you began, your voice trembling, “I... I don't know what to say. Your offer means the world to me. Truly.”

“But?” he asked, knowing you weren't quite done talking yet.

“I have to decline. I'm not gonna stand by and watch you going into a church you clearly don't want to go to. There's no reason for you to do so,” you said firmly.

“But there is a reason,” he whispered, his fingers slowly drawing patterns on the palm of your hand. You had to take your eyes off him. “You. You are the reason.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and the room seemed to blur around you as his words echoed in your mind. You. You are the reason. How could someone so selfless, so kind, want to sacrifice his comfort for yours? The weight of his sincerity bore down on you, making it difficult to breathe. You wanted to believe that you could accept his offer, lean on him without reservation, but the reality of your situation loomed large and impossible to ignore.

Tears welled up in your eyes again, threatening to spill over. You couldn’t let him do this. You couldn’t let him tie himself to your miseries and your complicated life. He deserved so much more.

But knowing Kim Hongjoong, he wouldn't accept no for an answer, and so you said quietly, “I'll think about it.”

He smiled brightly at you, his hand finding yours and squeezing it tightly. Your wedding ring was an uncomfortable reminder of the future this bond of yours would hold in the future.

Suddenly, Hongjoong's eyes lit up with a familiar spark of excitement. “I think it's time for you to see it,” he said, standing up with renewed energy. 

“See what? The dress?! You're already finished?!”

Instead of answering, he led you to the back of the shop, where a tall, covered mannequin stood. With a dramatic flourish, he pulled away the cloth, revealing a dress so exquisite it took your breath away.

The gown was a deep, saturated blue that shimmered like the ocean under a sky full of shining stars. The bodice was intricately embroidered with silver thread, forming delicate patterns of stars and swirling vines. The neckline was elegant and modest, dipping just enough to be flattering without being revealing. The sleeves were long and fitted, ending in graceful points that brushed against the tip of your hands, embroidered with the same silver designs that already adorned the bodice.

The skirt flowed from the waist in cascading layers of silk and tulle, creating a voluminous yet ethereal effect. Each layer was edged with even more silver embroidery. The back of the dress featured a row of tiny, delicate buttons that ran from the nape of the neck to the small of the back, adding a touch of old-world charm.

You gasped, unable to fathom what you were seeing. “Hongjoong, it’s... it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

His entire being seemed to relax as a delicate reddish colour adorned his cheeks. “Thank God you like it, it would've been worthless if not.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached out to touch the dress, your fingers trembling slightly. “Thank you, Joongie. I don’t know what to say.”

He smiled gently. “How about trying it on? I’d love to see you in it - No, I need to see you in it.”

You nodded, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Hongjoong carefully lifted the gown from the mannequin and handed it to you. You stepped behind the changing screen, the luxurious fabric feeling cool and smooth against your skin.

As you tried to change into the gown, you realised just how intricate it truly was. The buttons down the back were nearly impossible to fasten on your own, and the delicate fabric seemed to slip through your fingers. You struggled with the fastenings, your frustration obvious as you fidgeted with each and every button like a little child.

“Hongjoong,” you called out softly, your voice trembling. “I think I might need some help.”

He was at your side in an instant, sending your heart into a frenzy. 

So close.

Too close? 

No, not close enough.

“Of course, let me help you.” His fingers moved carefully over the buttons, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of intimacy as he worked, his hands warm and steady against your back.

When the last button was fastened, he stepped back, his eyes wide with admiration. “Y/N, you look... absolutely stunning.”

You stepped out from behind the screen, feeling like you had stepped into a fairy tale. The dress fit perfectly, accentuating your figure perfectly and complimenting every unique feature of yours. You twirled slightly, the skirt flowing around you like a dream.

Not once did Hongjoong’s eyes leave you. “It’s perfect,” he murmured. “You’re perfect.”

Your blush deepened as you caught sight of yourself in the mirror. The dress was everything you had ever dreamed of and more.

As you moved, you felt the cool brush of the fabric against your bare skin, a sensation that made you acutely aware of your body in a way you hadn’t felt in years. Just seconds before, Hongjoong’s hands had lingered on your back, and the memory of his touch sent a jolt of both pleasure and guilt through you. The touch of a man, one who truly cared for you, was something you hadn’t realised how much you really had craved until now. 

“I feel like a princess,” you whispered. You didn't notice a tear streaming down your check until Hongjoong carefully cupped your face and wiped it away. 

“Would the princess like to dance with me?” he sheepishly asked, sending a playful wink your way that made you both laugh and blush.

You managed a smile through your tears. “Yes, I would love that.”

Hongjoong’s eyes sparkled with joy as he extended his hand to you. You placed your hand in his, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours. He led you to the centre of the room, where he gently placed his other hand on your waist, the contact sending a shiver down your spine.

For a moment, you both stood there, simply enjoying the shared closeness. Then, slowly, he began to guide you in a swift motion, your movements mirroring each other with an ease that felt almost magical.

The dress flowed around you as you twirled. Hongjoong's eyes never once left yours, his gaze filled with a mixture of undying bliss and something deeper, something you were almost afraid to name.

“My husband never danced with me, not even on our wedding day,” you said.

Hongjoong’s expression softened, his grip on your hand tightening slightly as he led you in another gentle turn. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing,” he said quietly, his voice filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

You looked up at him, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “Hongjoong, I…”

He shook his head slightly, stopping your words with a gentle smile. “You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. Just… let’s enjoy this moment. Let’s pretend, even if it’s just for a little while, that the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

You nodded, your heart swelling with emotion as you followed his lead, the two of you moving together in perfect harmony. In his arms, the weight of your troubles seemed to lift, if only for a brief moment. The dress, the dance, the soft glow of the afternoon light filtering through the shop’s windows - it all felt like a scene from your favourite romance books.

You and Hongjoong were lost in the moment, the world around you fading into the background as you danced together. His hand on your waist, the warmth of his touch, the way his eyes never left yours - it was all so perfect, so right, like nothing else in your entire life.

Just as Hongjoong spun you gracefully, a voice shattered your beautiful moment. “Well, what do we have here?”

You both froze, turning to see an elderly woman standing in the doorway, her sharp eyes fixed on you. You didn’t recognize her, but there was an unmistakable air of authority surrounding her. Hongjoong stiffened beside you, his hand dropping from your waist as he quickly took a step back.

“Mrs. Lee,” he said, his voice stern but polite. “What brings you here?”

Mrs. Lee’s eyes narrowed as she took in the scene, her gaze lingering on your flushed cheeks and the way you were anxiously clenching the skirt of the beautiful dress. “I’ve been looking for you, Hongjoong. We need to talk about my daughter.”

Your heart sank, and a wave of terror washed over you. You quickly stepped away from Hongjoong, trying to compose yourself.

“I… I should go,” you stammered, avoiding Mrs. Lee’s piercing gaze. “Thank you for everything, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong reached out, his hand gently touching your arm. “Y/N, wait-”

Mrs. Lee’s voice cut through the tension. “Hongjoong, I’ve been very patient with you. My daughter, Sooyeon, is a good match for you, and it’s time you stop dilly-dallying and make a decision.”

Hongjoong’s jaw tightened, but he kept his tone measured. “Mrs. Lee, I’ve told you before, I’m not ready for marriage.”

Mrs. Lee scoffed, her eyes flicking to you with clear disdain. “Not ready for marriage, yet you have time for… this?” She gestured between the two of you, her meaning unmistakable.

You felt a flush of shame and panic. “This isn’t what it looks like. I'm a married woman,” you began, but Mrs. Lee cut you off with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Save your breath, young lady. I know exactly what this is. And believe me, the town and your husband will hear about it!”

The threat hung heavy in the air, and you could see the worry etched on Hongjoong’s face. You almost fainted at the panic that rushed over you. He stepped forward, placing himself slightly between you and Mrs. Lee. “There’s no need for threats, Mrs. Lee. Y/N and I were just… discussing some alterations for her dress.”

Mrs. Lee raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Discussing alterations, were you? In each other’s arms?”

Hongjoong opened his mouth to respond, but you couldn’t bear it any longer. “Please, Mrs. Lee,” you pleaded, your voice trembling. “Don’t tell anyone. It’s not what you think.”

I don't wanna die. 

I don't wanna die.

She looked at you, her lips forming into a cold smile. “I’ll keep this quiet - for now. But only if Hongjoong agrees to meet with my daughter. Alone.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m very serious,” Mrs. Lee replied, her tone leaving no room for argument. “Think about it, Hongjoong. Both your reputation is on the line here.”

The room fell silent, the weight of the ultimatum pressing down on all three of you. Finally, Hongjoong sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Fine. I’ll meet with Sooyeon.”

Mrs. Lee’s smile was triumphant. “Good. I’ll expect you at my house tomorrow evening.”

With that, she turned and left the shop, leaving you and Hongjoong standing in shocked silence. You could feel the tears welling up, the reality of the situation crashing down around you.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Hongjoong shook his head, his eyes filled with a mixture of frustration and sadness. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. None of this is.”

You wanted to believe him, but the guilt and fear were overwhelming. “I should go,” you said.

Hongjoong tried to stop you, but you rushed behind the curtain and hastily took the dress off. Finally, in your normal clothes again, Hongjoong tried to get ahold of you, but you took off in such a hurry he couldn't even open his mouth and practically sprinted out the open door.

“Y/N, wait,” he called after you, but you were already out the door, the tears streaming down your face. As you hurried home, you could only hope that Mrs. Lee would keep her word, because if not, there was a real possibility you would be dead real soon.

And the man you loved as well.

Your family's stall at the weekly market was as busy as ever. The familiar hustle and bustle of vendors calling out their wares and customers bartering for the best deals filled the air. You tried to focus on helping your mother arrange the vegetables, but your mind kept drifting away. 

“Y/N, are you alright?” your mother asked, her brow furrowed with concern as she noticed your distracted state.

You forced a smile. “Yes, mama. Just tired, I guess.”

She took off her gloves and took your face into her callused hands. Your body immediately relaxed at your mother's touch, while your mind was spiralling. 

“I should've never let your father marry you off to this douchebag,” she tearfully exclaimed.

Ah. There it was. The lies.

You knew your mother had always harboured guilt about your marriage, but it wasn't fair for her to carry the blame. It was a decision made by your father, and you had gone along with it, hoping for the best. But the weight of her words only added to the turmoil inside you. Her attempts at comfort now seemed hollow, given how often she had turned a blind eye to your suffering.

“It's not your fault, Mama,” you said gently, placing your hand over hers. “You couldn't have known how things would turn out.”

She sighed, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I just want you to be happy, Y/N. You deserve so much more than this.”

Her words stung. Where was this concern when you needed it most? When your cries for help went unheard?

While your father and older sisters didn't even pretend to care, your mother did - in a way. Yet never enough to actually help.

Maybe blaming her was too much. You knew that without your father's approval she couldn't do anything. After all, she was just a woman like you, trapped in a time where all you could do was listen and obey the men in your lives.

Yet it hurt. So much. Sometimes, all you wanted was to return to better times. Back in your mother's lap, laughing with your sisters while she told stories about love and worlds too perfect for your understanding. 

You were the last unmarried child remaining in your parents house. All your sisters were married off to good, somewhat wealthy husbands, either already with child and or waiting to be blessed with the fruit of life. All was well, until your father's business began to lose some serious money. He grew desperate to maintain the family's status, and in his desperation, he had accepted the first marriage proposal that came your way - no matter the man behind it. 

While all your sisters were given away to live in good, wealthy living households like the one you grew up in, your husband was working in a factory, barely making enough to support himself, yet alone a wife and future offspring. 

On top of that, he didn't even hide the fact how he was treating you. Your family knew. The town knew. Yet no one really cared, because you were now nothing but a poor, lowly woman.

And so, you became an outcast in your own family. You were the sister who had married below her status, the daughter who had brought shame to the family name. Your father, once proud and authoritative, could hardly look at you without a glimmer of disappointment in his eyes. Your sisters, though affectionate in public, whispered behind your back, their words filled with pity and disdain.

Your mother's concern, when it did come, was always in private. She would hold you and cry, promising that she had tried to convince your father to wait for a better match, that she had tried fighting for you. But where was she when you needed her most? When you had begged her to intervene, to stop the marriage, she had been silent. When you had showed up late at night with wounds serious enough to kill, she sent you right back home. And now, her tears felt like salt in an old, festering wound.

But while your mother had her faults, she was really the only family member you could really confide in. So, you took a deep, steady breath and turned to her with a determined expression. “Mom, there's something I need to tell you. Siwoo… Siwoo's-”

“Y/N,” she cut you off, “Don't slander your husband's name in front of me.”

“Mom, please-”

“Enough! We're in public!” she hissed, glancing around nervously.

You bit your lip, the words dying in your throat. The market's noise seemed to close in around you, a suffocating reminder of the ever-watchful eyes of the townspeople. You had learned long ago that your cries for help would only fall on deaf ears or, worse, invite further scrutiny and gossip.

So you swallowed your pain and simply nodded. “Yes, Mama. I'm sorry.”

She looked at you, her eyes filled with a mixture of regret and helplessness. “Let's finish up here. We'll talk later at home. Could you deliver the usual supplies to Mrs. Goo? You know the old lady can't walk anymore, but she pays us well. Your sister's too busy with the children to do it herself.”

You nodded again, grateful for the distraction. As you gathered the supplies and made your way through the busy market, you tried to steady your nerves. The fresh air and distance from the stall helped clear your mind a bit, but your conversation with your mother still pressed down on you.

She didn't even try to listen to you.

Navigating the crowded paths, you marvel at the sights and sounds of the market: the colourful array of various products, the lively chatter of people, the smell of freshly baked bread. It was a small reprieve from everything, yet it didn't keep your mind occupied for long. 

Turning a corner, you nearly bumped into Hongjoong, who was accompanied by Mrs. Lee's daughter, Sooyeon. The first thing you noticed was how awkward he seemed with her, keeling the woman at arms length, a stark contrast to how natural and at ease he was when he was with you.

“I'm really bad with women,” he said, clearly embarrassed. 

You chuckled. “I don't believe you. You act so natural and nonchalant when you're with me! Does that mean I'm not a real woman in your eyes? you teasingly asked.

His expression turned serious. “Of course I see you as a woman. But… everything feels easy when it comes to you.”

“Hongjoong!” you exclaimed, surprised.

You hadn't seen each other for a month now, but if he had something to say about you avoiding him, he didn't speak on it.

His eyes lit up at the sight of you, but his smile was somewhat strained. “Y/N, it's good to see you.”

Sooyeon glanced between the two of you, a curious look on her face. “Hello, Y/N. How are you?” she asked, her tone polite but detached.

“I'm well, thank you. Just running some errands for my mother,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light.

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence. You could sense the tension in Hongjoong's stance, the way he seemed almost relieved to see you yet burdened by Sooyeon's presence.

“Oh, look at those flowers! They’re so pretty!” Sooyeon suddenly exclaimed, her attention captured by a nearby stall. She moved toward the vibrant display, leaving you and Hongjoong a few moments alone.

Hongjoong let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Y/N, I’ve missed seeing-”

Your whole demeanour changed. Now, you thought, now's the only chance I got.

“Joong, I need your help,” you urgently whispered.

He glanced over at Sooyeon, ensuring she was still distracted. “How can I?...”

You clasped his hands with all the strength left in you. “He's gonna kill me. Tonight. H-he… he bought a gun. He's going to kill me and there's nothing I can do!” you sobbed.

Hongjoong's eyes widened in alarm, and he squeezed your hands reassuringly. “Y/N, we have to get you out of there. Do you have anywhere safe to go?”

You shook your head, panic making your thoughts race. “No, I have nowhere. I can't go back to my parents. They won't help.”

He looked around, his mind clearly racing as well. “We’ll figure something out. But first, you need to stay calm. We don’t want to draw any attention.”

“Please, Hongjoong, I’m so scared,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

He nodded firmly. “I know, but you’re not alone. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

Sooyeon returned, holding a bouquet of vibrant flowers. “Aren’t these lovely?” she asked, oblivious to the tension.

Oblivious to the fact that in just a few hours, you would be dead. Literally gone. Irradiaticated from the world.

He forced a smile. “They are, Sooyeon.”

You took a step back, the moment of closeness slipping away. “I should get going. Take care, Hongjoong. And you too, Soo Yeon.”

“Goodbye, Y/N,” Hongjoong said, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer.

I'll be coming to your house later, his eyes said.

And I'll be waiting for you, Kim Hongjoong, you answered, before turning around and walking away.

You wondered if you would ever see the man you loved again. Because if he wasn't fast enough, all he would see was your dead body on the cold floor.

The clock you'd usually hear ticking in the background now lay broken on the floor, just like everything else in this godforsaken home.

In his rage this morning, Siwoo had left nothing, beating your home and your body until nothing but a mess was left behind.

Quietly, you sat in the corner of the room, your breath shallow and uneven. You waited.

And while you did, you asked yourself one last question: how would you face your death?

Would you face it fiercely, staring it directly in the eye, brave and unwavering? The thought appealed to you, the idea of going down with defiance and dignity. But the truth was, you didn't feel brave. You felt small and terrified, a helpless pawn in a cruel game, played by a man who created his own evil rules. The bruises on your body, the scars on your soul, they only told a story of survival, not of courage.

Would you cry, beg for mercy while already knowing that there was nothing saving you from this cruel fate? Your tears had dried up long ago, replaced by a numbing acceptance. You had begged before, pleaded for mercy in both whispers and screams, but Siwoo's cruelty knew no bounds. He thrived on your pain, feeding on your despair. You learned that begging would only fuel his sadistic pleasure.

Or would you smile and take its hand, leaving this world knowing that this life was all you had, that there was no use grieving it no more? This life, filled with suffering and loss, had hardly been spent well. But in the midst of all the darkness, there were fleeting moments of light - memories of laughter with your sisters, the warmth of your mother's embrace, the gentle kindness of Hongjoong. Perhaps those moments were enough to justify a smile, a final act of defiance against a life that had sought to break you.

There was no time for an answer. The door creaked open, and Siwoo stepped in, his eyes cold and merciless. 

You could almost feel death’s cold breath on your neck with his arrival. 

He approached slowly, savouring the fear he thought he saw in your eyes. "Ready for round two?" he sneered, raising a hand to strike you again.

But something inside you snapped. Perhaps it was the realisation that you had nothing left to lose, or perhaps it was the flicker of defiance that had always burned within you, hidden beneath layers of pain and submission. As his hand came down, you moved.

With a speed and strength born of desperation, you grabbed the broken clock from the floor and swung it at him. The sound of shattering glass and metal was followed by his roar of pain as the clock connected with his head. He stumbled back, blood streaming down his face, his eyes wide with shock.

“You bitch!” he screamed, lunging at you. But you were ready. You dodged his attack and grabbed a shard of broken glass from the floor. The sharp edge bit into your palm, but you didn't care. You had only one thought: survival.

As he came at you again, you thrust the glass into his side. He howled in agony, doubling over. You didn't stop. You couldn't stop. You pulled the glass out and stabbed him again, and again, each thrust fueled by years of pent-up fear, anger, and pain.

He fell to the floor, clutching at his wounds, his breath coming in ragged gasps. You stood over him, your chest heaving, blood dripping from your hands. For a moment, you simply watched him, your heart pounding in your ears.

“Y/N,” he rasped, his voice weak and broken. “Please…”

But there was no mercy left in you. You raised the glass one final time and- 

A hand grabbed yours. You immediately knew it wasn't your husband's, because he would never touch you like this, all soft and careful.

“Y/N,” the voice said, “Don't do it. Don't ever be like him.”

He gently pried the glass shard from your hand, his touch tender but firm. You fell into his arms, the weight of everything crashing down on you at once. His embrace was warm and comforting, a stark contrast to the violence you had just endured. He held you close, murmuring soothing words you couldn't quite make out over the sound of your own sobs.

“It's okay, it's over,” he whispered, his hand stroking your hair. “I'm here now.”

You clung to him, your tears soaking into his shirt. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a glimmer of hope. Hongjoong was here. Your Hongjoong was here. You weren't alone anymore.

It could've been the end, but the moment was short-lived. 

Siwoo, with a last surge of strength, lunged at you both. His fist connected with Hongjoong's face, sending him sprawling to the floor. His punches were relentless, each blow harder than the last, and you screamed for him to stop. But he wouldn't, he couldn't. He was beyond reason, lost in his own madness. Siwoo turned to you, his eyes blazing with fury. He grabbed you by the hair, yanking you to your feet.

“You think you can get away with this?” he snarled. “You're nothing but a woman, Y/N. My woman! I can do whatever I want with you!”

You struggled relentlessly against his grip, the pain in your scalp sharp and blinding. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hongjoong trying to get up, blood trickling from his nose. Siwoon turned his attention towards your lover.

In that split second, you remembered the gun. The one Siwoo had bought. It was in the bedroom, just a few steps away. You had to get to it. You had to end this.

With a surge of adrenaline, you twisted in Siwoo's grasp, breaking free. You stumbled towards the bedroom, your heart pounding in your chest. You could hear Siwoo's footsteps behind you, his curses filling the air.

You burst into the bedroom and saw the gun on the nightstand. Your hands trembled as you grabbed it, turning just in time to see Siwoo barreling towards you, yanking Hongjoong with him. You raised the gun, your finger now laying directly on the trigger.

“Get away from him!” you screamed, your voice shaking.

Siwoo paused, a twisted grin spreading across his face. “You think you can scare me with that?”

Your hands steadied, and you took a deep breath. You locked eyes with your man for a second. “You're right, Hongjoong. I'm not like him. I'm worse.”

The first shot rang out, deafening in the small room. Siwoo's eyes widened in shock as the bullet hit him. You didn't stop. You couldn't. You fired again, and again, each shot a release of years of pain and fear and rage.

Siwoo collapsed to the floor, his body twitching one last time, blood pooling around him. You stood over him, the gun still in your hands, your breath coming in ragged gasps.

He was dead. You dropped the gun and turned to Hongjoong, who was struggling to sit up. You rushed to his side, cradling his face in your hands.

“Are you okay?” you whispered, tears streaming down your face.

He nodded weakly, his eyes filled with pain but also relief. “I am. But you aren't.”

It wasn't a question, yet you shook your head. You laughed, and Hongjoong looked at you like you were crazy. Maybe you were. 

“I've never felt this good,” you whispered, “because now I can do this.”

Careful to not hurt him further, you took his face into your hands. He was all bloody, but nonetheless beautiful.

And then, you pressed your lips onto his, desperate and hungry and so, so much more.

Hongjoong responded, his arms wrapping around you despite the pain. He held you close, pouring all his love and reassurance into the kiss. When you finally pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, both of you breathing heavily.

But as the adrenaline faded, reality started to set in. The room was a mess, the evidence of the struggle all around you. The sight of Siwoo's lifeless body, the blood on the floor, and the gun still warm in your hand triggered a rising panic within you.

You started to hyperventilate, your breath coming in shallow, rapid gasps. “What have I done? Hongjoong, what have I done?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Hongjoong cupped your face in his hands, trying to calm you down. “Y/N, look at me. Focus on me. We need to think clearly.”

But it was too late. The full weight of what had just happened crashed down on you. You screamed, a raw, primal sound that echoed through the house. You fell to the floor, clutching your head, rocking back and forth as the horror of the situation consumed you.

Hongjoong knelt beside you, trying to soothe you, but his own panic was beginning to surface. “Y/N, please, we need to stay calm. We need to make a plan.”

His words barely registered through the fog that clouded your brain. Your cries grew louder, more desperate, as you struggled to comprehend the violence you had just unleashed.

“My angel, my love”, he pleaded with you, “listen to me. You have to listen to what I-”

In the distance, you both heard the sound of approaching footsteps and voices. Many approaching footsteps and noises. The shots had already alerted the people, and they were coming to investigate. The panic in Hongjoong's eyes matched your own as he realised the danger you were in.

“Y/N, listen to me,” he said urgently, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you lightly to get your attention. “We don't have much time. They're coming.”

Through your tears, you managed to focus on him. “What do we do, Hongjoong? What do we do?!”

His mind raced as he formulated a plan. It was desperate and dangerous, but it was the only way he could think to protect you. He picked up the gun and looked at you with a pained expression. “Y/N, I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?”

You nodded without hesitation. “I-i do, Joongie. Of course I do! But don't you dare try to endang-”

Before you could protest further, he aimed the gun right at your leg and pulled the trigger. The pain was immediate and excruciating, a burning agony that shot through your body. You screamed, collapsing to the floor, clutching your wounded leg.

Just a moment later, numerous people burst through the door, their eyes widening at the violent scene before them. Siwoo's body on the floor, you bleeding and crying, and Hongjoong holding the gun.

“What have you done?” you cried out, not even realising this sent off a completely wrong message to all the surrounding people. 

What you meant was why, why would he ever sacrifice himself like that.

Why?

Why? 

But all the mob heard was you screaming in anger at the man who just supposedly killed your husband, and now tried to shoot you.

Why, you wanted to scream. At whom you weren't too sure; at the universe, at God, at Hongjoong himself.

And as the angry mob launched at him, as multiple people were surrounding you and the lifeless corpse of your former husband, all you could think about was how not one, but two men lost their lives today.

Your abuser, and your lover.

And in the middle of it there was a woman who wept for them both, once out of sheer, unexplainable happiness, and once at the loss of the man whom she could now never hold in her arms again.

Part 2 here.

Ahhh it's so good!!!

Your Gentle Hands (They Feel Like Home To Me). || Kim Hongjoong. [ Part I ]

Summary: meeting the local outcast shouldn't have ended with you slowly falling for him. yet you did, all while knowing you could never have this man, because you were already someones else's wife. two lovers, a dress shop, and a violent man between it all. we all know how this ends, right? ... right?

Pairing: dressmaker!kim hongjoong x fem. reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Wordcount: 15k

Warnings: playing in the 1800s so general warning for that, reader is married to a very violent man, emotional (justified) infidelity??, misogyny, (domestic) violence, injuries, talks about religion and people suffering because of it, blood, murder, i think that's it??

A/N: can't believe it's finally here. oh my gawd. i love this piece so much, but god did i struggle with it i'm so glad i can finally post part 1. i would really really appreciate reblogs, comments, and likes too, but reblogs are so helpful, so please do it if you liked it it would help me immensely. also comment if anyone would like to be tagged for part 2 of this two-shot! and now onto the most important part: the biggest thanks and hugs and kisses to @yessa-vie and @ghstzzn because without them, this fic would've long been in the damn trash can holy moly. also, thank you so so much to @seulrinnie-rinrin for beating this last minute, i'm so thankful really!! and as always divider credits to @firefly-graphics!

Taglist: @ghstzzn, @kyukyustar, @hwapetals, @foxinnie8, @preciouswoozi, @aussiekpopginger, @kitten4sannie

Available here on AO3.

My Dearest Husband,

The years have been harsh to us, and the cracks in our marriage grow wider with each passing day. Your hands, once embracing me so gentle and loving, now leave bruises upon my skin that no amount of powder or paint can conceal.

I dare not speak of the pain that lingers within me, for fear of invoking your wrath once more. Yet, the time has come for me to break the chains that bind me to this wretched existence and find solace in the arms of another.

Know this, my dear husband, I shall not suffer in silence any longer. Your tyranny shall not be tolerated, and I shall not rest until I am free from the shackles of your oppression.

With every ounce of strength left within me,

[Your Name]

The clock turned midnight.

You sat by the window, the gentle patter of rain against the glass a soothing backdrop to the turmoil raging within your heart. The room felt suffocating, the walls seemingly closing in on you with each passing moment. How long has it been since you last felt a glimmer of hope in this house?

How long has it been since you last felt safe in it?

You closed your eyes. Nothing but silence greeted you.

Good. 

The creak of the floorboards beneath your feet sounded deafening in the silence of the night, and you held your breath, afraid that even the slightest noise would awaken him.

Him.

Your husband, or rather: your own personal tormentor. 

“He's a good man,” your mother in law screamed, her fingernails marking your skin, her eyes desperate and angry. “Be a good wife and learn to obey and endure. My son said it was a mistake, and so be it!”

The black eye he gave you days later told a different story. Yet it didn't matter.

Once outside, you found yourself drawn to the familiar path that led to the edge of the forest. 

Finally stepping outside the small, scruffy looking house, you were greeted by darkness and the occasional chirping of various insects. Luckily, the temperatures were still mild in late September, yet you still pulled the cardigan tighter around you. Despite the darkness and uncertainty that surrounded you, there was a sense of freedom in being away from the suffocating confines of your home.

Just for a little, a few hours, both your mind and body could finally relax.

As you made your way along the familiar path towards the edge of the forest, a sense of anticipation bubbled within you. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you allowed yourself to entertain the possibility of a bit of time free from fear and pain. It would only last a short while, making you lose valuable hours of sleep, but still for you, it was enough.

The path before you seemed to stretch on endlessly, disappearing into the darkness of the woods. Tall, gnarled trees loomed overhead, their branches reaching out like skeletal fingers towards the heavens. The soft rustle of leaves in the gentle breeze filled the air, accompanied by the occasional hoot of an owl or the distant cry of a night bird.

The chirping at the insects had stopped entirely.

Despite the late hour, the forest was buzzing with activity. Small creatures - stray cats and dogs known to frequent the area - scurried among the underbrush, their eyes glowing in the darkness as they went about their nocturnal rituals. Every now and then, the faint glimmer of fireflies could be seen darting through the trees, their soft, golden light illuminating the path ahead.

You followed their lead, heart pounding in your chest as you ventured deeper into the forest. For a split second, your mind wandered back to your husband. You knew he was asleep, passed out blank from the amount of alcohol he consumed at The Saloon, the only pub in your village.

Despite knowing he was asleep, the fear lingered like a dark cloud looming over your every thought. The bruises on your skin served as a constant reminder of his violence, and even in his absence, his presence felt suffocating.

“Meow.”

The sound broke the silence of the night, startling you momentarily, making you almost trip over your own feet. Your heart raced as you glanced around, half expecting to see your husband's shadow looming in the darkness. But there was no sign of him, only the gentle rustle of leaves and the occasional chirp of insects.

He's not here, you reminded yourself, taking a deep, slow breath, it's just a cat. It's okay. You're okay. 

As you stood there, trying to calm your racing heart, the source of the meow emerged from the bushes - a small, scruffy-looking cat with fur as dark as the night itself. 

It's a beautiful cat, you thought.

You crouched down, extending a tentative hand towards the cat. “Hey there, little one,” you murmured softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Are you out here all alone?”

The cat looked you up and down for a moment, then cautiously approached, its movements slow and careful at first. It sniffed your outstretched hand, then rubbed its head against your fingers, purring softly.

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you gently scratched behind the cat's ears.

“Looks like we're both seeking some peace in the night,” you said, your words more for yourself than for the cat. But in that moment, it felt like the cat understood, as if it were offering you silent companionship in this dark, lonely forest.

With a sigh, you leaned back against a nearby tree, the cat following and curling up beside you. 

“I should give you a name, right?” you hummed. The cat didn't respond, just continued purring as your fingers went through its unkempt yet soft fur.

“I have the gut feeling that you're a boy, so… let's name you Benji, shall we?”

You giggled as Benji took your hand in his paws, gently biting and licking while his purring filled your ears. 

“You like it? What a good, sweet boy.”

Suddenly, a rustling in the bushes nearby startled you, tearing your gaze away from Benji. The cat hissed, and only then you saw what was making the noise: a… goat? 

A goat that was now sprinting right at you at full speed. Panicked, you hurried to your feet, backing away slowly only to be met by the tree you previously set by. You turned around to run, but as you did, the goat lunged forward, catching your dress with its horns and tearing the fabric apart. A loud scream - your loud scream - echoed through the night, and you fell to the ground, your knees and hands immediately starting to bleed as they hit the forest floor. 

“Help!” you screamed, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart and the goat's relentless assault. In a desperate attempt to escape, you scrambled away, your hands and knees scraping against the rough ground once again, blood mingling with dirt as you crawled towards another tree, away from the animal. “Somebody, please help me!”

Your desperate cries pierced through the darkness. Every fibre of your being screamed for someone to hear your plea and rescue you from this nightmare.

And then, as if conjured by your sheer desperation, a male voice cut through the night. 

“Let her be, you damn goat!” 

Oh finally.

You turned towards the source of the voice, your heart pounding in your chest as you beheld the figure emerging from the shadows. In the darkness, you couldn't see his features clearly, but the silhouette of a lean figure emerged from the shadows. His stature was not imposing, but there was a quiet strength in the way he carried himself. Short, tousled hair framed his face, and his clean-shaven jawline hinted at a youthful charm. Despite his lean frame, there was a sense of agility and grace in his movements as he approached, his steps purposeful yet cautious. His clothes, though worn and faded, spoke of practicality rather than luxury, and the faint glint of silver caught your eye as moonlight danced upon a necklace around his neck.

“Get back, Django,” he commanded, his voice stern and serious. 

For a moment, it seemed as though the goat - Django - hesitated, its wild eyes darting between you and the stranger as if weighing its options. But then, with a defiant snort, the goat actually backed away, its hooves scraping against the forest floor as it retreated back to its owner's side.

You watched in stunned silence as the young man approached, his expression softened by a glimmer of concern. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice gentler now.

You nodded weakly, your body trembling with a mixture of fear and relief as you struggled to sit up. He offered you a hand, and you accepted it gratefully, allowing him to help you to your feet. “Thank you,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you met his gaze.

Your eyes widened. 

You knew this man. 

It was hard not to, because the women at the market loved to gossip about him.

“He's a filthy man. Have you seen the dresses he makes? Outrageous.”

His name was Kim Hongjoong, you believed, a man known for his unconventional ways and said ‘outrageous’ dresses he crafted.

The women's cruel words towards him echoed in your mind, their voices dripping with disgust whenever his name was mentioned. They spoke of him as if he were beneath them, a plague, to be avoided at all costs. But as you looked at him now, you saw none of the malice they spoke of, only kindness and a smile etched into his features.

Hongjoong's eyes softened at your words. He had a pretty face, you realised, staring up at him in awe and curiosity.

You are a married woman! Oh Lord, may you save me from those malicious, evil thoughts!

“You shouldn't be out here alone,” he said, his voice tinged with concern. 

“I'm always here alone,” you responded. “It's my safe space.”

Instead of pressing you further, his eyes scanned your form, his expression growing more serious as he took in the extent of both your wounds and torn dress.

“It's even worse than I thought…” He looked at Django, who's now freely roaming around, seemingly no longer agitated and angry. “This goddamn goat,” he groaned.

“Is he always like this?” you asked.

Hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair as he glanced back at Django with a mixture of frustration and resignation. “Unfortunately, yes,” he replied, “He's a stubborn creature, to say the least. His former owner wanted to slaughter him because he was aggressive towards humans and goats alike, but I convinced him to let me take care of him instead.”

“That's very noble of you,” you remarked, a sense of admiration evident in your voice. “Not many would take in a troubled animal like Django and give him a chance to change.”

Hongjoong offered you a small, appreciative smile, his eyes reflecting a hint of pride. “It hasn't been easy,” he admitted, patting Django's head, “But despite a few angry outbursts here and there, he's actually been adjusting well.”

You hummed, still keeping your distance from the goat that just attacked you. You and him probably won't become friends any time soon.

“Do you think you are able to walk?”

You nodded, though the pain throbbing in your knees and hands contradict your words. “I'll be fine,” you assured him, though your voice faltered slightly as you spoke.

Hongjoong's gaze softened with concern as he observed your state, his brows furrowing slightly with worry. “Are you sure?” he asked, his tone gentle yet insistent. “You're hurt, and it's not safe for you to be out here alone, especially with those injuries.”

You hesitated. Despite your initial plan to find solace and peace in the forest, you couldn't deny the reality of your situation - bruised, bleeding, and very much in need of assistance.

Swallowing your pride, you met Hongjoong's gaze with a grateful nod. “I... I think I could use some help,” you admitted, your voice wavering slightly with a mixture of exhaustion and relief.

Without hesitation, Hongjoong stepped closer, offering you his arm for support. “Here," he said, “Lean on me. We'll get you patched up and back home safely.”

“N-no!” you screeched, making Hongjoong falter in his steps and shoot you a confused look, “I-i mean, the night's still young, am I right? There's no need to return home just yet…”

“Why are you avoiding your own home?”

Your heart raced at his question, and you could feel your pulse pounding in your ears. His straightforwardness caught you off-guard, yet you tried - and failed - to hide your uneasiness and upcoming fear.

“You wouldn't understand,” you whispered.

Avoiding his eyes, you bit your lip, unsure of how to respond. The fear of revealing too much, of exposing the dark secrets of your marriage, held you back. You couldn't bear the thought of anyone knowing the truth, let alone a stranger who could very much use this information against you.

Hongjoong must have sensed your hesitation, for he didn't press further. Instead, he offered a gentle smile, his eyes filled with understanding. “It's alright,” he said softly. “You don't have to explain. Let's just get you somewhere safe and comfortable for now.”

His words and tone surprised you. You were accustomed to being met with demands and anger, not patience and empathy. The contrast left you feeling both confused and intrigued. Why was he being so kind to you? What did he hope to gain from helping a stranger in the middle of the night?

You accepted his support, leaning on him as you walked, your steps slow and cautious. The pain in your knees and hands was a constant reminder of your current vulnerability, but Hongjoong's steady presence provided a strange sense of comfort. Despite your initial wariness, you found yourself beginning to trust him.

Oh, what a foolish woman you are.

“Where will you take me?”

“To my house. It would be a shame if your husband would see you like this, with visible injuries and a torn dress, wouldn't it?”

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

That's how long you stared into his eyes, and he stared into yours.

Both of you knew what this meant.

Yet no one spoke it out loud. Society forbade it. 

You exhaled a trembling breath, the truth of his words settling heavily between you. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, “It would be a shame.”

Hongjoong’s eyes softened, as if he could read the unspoken pain behind your words. “Let’s go, then,” he said gently, guiding you along the path with Django following closely behind.

“You know,” you whispered, “a married woman should never visit a bachelor's property alone. Especially at such late hours.”

Hongjoong glanced at you, a faint, yet boyish smile playing on his lips. “If you go by the rules of society, then yes,” he said, “but I'm known to do the exact opposite.”

Hongjoong's house came into view after a short walk through the forest. It was a modest building outside the small village, yet it looked charming, nestled amid tall trees that swayed gently in the night breeze. The front was adorned with a small, covered porch, where a couple of wooden chairs and a table sat invitingly. Ivy climbed up the walls, giving the house an almost fairytale-like quality.

It seemed to be well kept too, a stark contrast to your own home.

As you approached, you noticed the sign above the door, “Kim’s Dressmaking,” written in elegant, swirling letters. It was clear that the front of the house doubled as a shop. The large windows displayed a variety of dresses, each more beautiful and intricate than the last, their fabrics shimmering softly in the dim light. 

You remembered the villager's harsh words, and for a small second you thought: should you really follow this unruly man? What if anyone would see you entering his house at night, completely alone?

But you also knew this was quite literally the only solution right now, because if your husband saw you at home tending to your wounds he'd know of your nightly trips, and you couldn't let that happen.

So, the outcast’s house it was.

Hongjoong, who just escorted Django back to a small stall behind the property, passed you and pushed open the door, the bell above it tinkling softly. The interior of the shop was a burst of colour and creativity. Dresses of all styles and fabrics lined the walls, hung from mannequins, and lay draped over chairs and tables. Ribbons, lace, and beads were strewn about in an organised chaos that spoke of hours of dedicated craftsmanship. The scent of fresh fabric and a hint of lavender lingered in the air.

These dresses were made for royalty, beautiful and extravagant, unlike anything normal citizens would wear. You pitied Hongjoong; his talent was being wasted in a small village, while queens and princesses should be the ones wearing them, not women talking badly about his craft the second he turned his back on them.

“Welcome to my workshop,” Hongjoong said, a note of pride in his voice. He led you through the shop and towards a door at the back. “The living area is just through here.”

You followed him into a cozy living space that was a stark contrast to the bustling shop. The room was warmly lit by a few oil lamps, casting a soft glow over the rustic wooden furniture. A large, comfortable-looking sofa took up most of one wall, with a knitted blanket draped over it. Shelves lined with books and trinkets filled another wall, and a small fireplace crackled with a gentle fire, providing a soothing warmth. A modest kitchen area occupied one corner, with a wooden table and two chairs positioned nearby.

“Sit,” Hongjoong instructed gently, guiding you to the sofa. “I'll get some water and bandages for your wounds.”

“Yes, sir,” you giggled, a childlike euphoria suddenly overcoming you. He shot you a grin in response.

You sank into the sofa, the softness a welcome relief after the night's ordeal. You watched as Hongjoong moved around in the kitchen, his movements swift and efficient.

After a few minutes, he returned with a bowl of warm water, a clean cloth, and a small box of medical supplies. He knelt beside you, his eyes focused and serious as he gently took your hands in his.

“This might sting a bit,” he warned, dipping the cloth into the water and carefully cleaning the dirt and blood from your scrapes. His touch was surprisingly gentle, and you found yourself relaxing under his care.

“Thank you,” you murmured, watching him work. The tenderness in his actions was a stark contrast to the harshness you had endured at home.

“You're welcome,” he replied softly, his eyes meeting yours briefly before returning to his task. He worked silently for a few moments, cleaning and bandaging your wounds with practised ease.

“Now,” he said, standing up and cleaning his hands with the washcloth, “all we gotta do is fix your dress now to avoid your husband suspecting anything.”

“I… I don't have any money to pay you,” you admitted.

Hongjoong shook his head, a kind smile playing on his lips. "Don't worry about that," he said. “Consider it my way of helping a neighbour in need. I mean, it was my goat who put you in this situation after all.”

The kindness in his words brought tears to your eyes, and you had to look away to hide your emotions. It's been an hour since you've met this man, and yet he already treated you better than people whom you should be closest to. It had been so long since someone had shown you such genuine care and concern.

Hongjoong led you to a small sewing table in the corner of the room, surrounded by bolts of fabric, spools of thread, and an array of needles and scissors. He pulled out a chair for you and you sat down, feeling a sense of peace settle over you.

“Can I ask another favour of you?” you asked quietly.

Hongjoong knelt down, now looking up to you. It made your heart beat faster, and you hated yourself for it.

“Go ahead,” he said, encouraging you to speak.

“Please don't leave any obvious stitches… my husband would notice and then he would get mad and I really don't-” 

“Hey, hey,” Hongjoong shushed you, carefully taking your trembling hand in his own.

His gentle touch seemed to soothe you immediately. 

“I'll give my very best. Your husband won't notice anything amiss,” he promised.

As he worked, carefully mending the torn fabric of your dress, you watched his skilled hands move with precision and grace. His focus was unwavering, and you couldn't help but admire the artistry in his every movement.

“You know,” you said softly, breaking the silence, “the women in the village talk about you. They say your dresses are too extravagant for common folk.”

Hongjoong chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I've heard the gossip,” he admitted. “But I don't create these dresses for them. Let's say my clients are of more… different backgrounds.”

“You mean women of wealthier status?”

“Indeed.”

You couldn't help but giggle at Hongjoong's response.

“So does that mean… Did you just… indirectly make fun of those women, Hongjoong?” you asked, trying to stifle your laughter.

A mischievous smile spread across his face as he glanced up at you. “Maybe I did,” he replied, his eyes twinkling with a playful glint. “But it's only fair, don't you think? They judge me without understanding, too.”

You laughed again, the sound feeling foreign yet welcome to your own ears. 

Hongjoong’s returned to his work, his fingers working fast, his concentration unwavering. You watched him in awe. There was something comforting about watching him work, knowing he was doing his best to help you. And on top of that, his skills fascinated you. You didn't know much about the craft of dressmaking, yet even a layin like you knew that true skill was needed for such incredible work.

And Kim Hongjoong definitely had that skill.

“Why do you stay here?” you asked after a moment of silence, curiosity getting the better of you. “You could be making dresses for queens and princesses, living a life far away from all the judgement and poverty of this village.”

Hongjoong paused, his needle stopping mid-air as he looked up at you once again. “I could do that, you're right,” he agreed, “but I prefer living peacefully. Going back to the court… it's not what I want anymore. People there are difficult.”

“More difficult than here?”

He laughed. “Yeah, actually. Just in a different way.”

You hummed. Hongjoong finished mending your dress, carefully examining his work before looking up at you with a satisfied smile. “There,” he said, “all done. Your husband won’t notice a thing.”

You looked down at the dress, marvelling at his skill. The stitches were invisible, the fabric as good as new. “Thank you,” you said, your gratitude heavily evident in your voice.

He stood up, offering you his hand once more. “Let me walk you home,” he said. “It’s not safe for you to go alone.”

Panic rushed through you at his suggestion, your heart pounding in your chest. You jerked back, withdrawing your hand from his as if his touch burned you.

“No,” you said, your voice trembling, “I can't let you do that. What if someone sees us together? What if my husband finds out?”

Hongjoong's brows furrowed in concern. “But it’s not safe for you to walk alone at this hour. After what happened in the forest, I can’t just let you go unaccompanied.”

You shook your head vehemently, your hands clenching the fabric of your freshly mended dress. “I appreciate your kindness, Hongjoong, but you don’t understand. If anyone sees us together, it will only get worse for me. My husband… he's not a kind man. He'll make my life a living hell.”

Hongjoong's expression softened. He reached out as if to comfort you, but then hesitated as you took another step back. “I won’t let anything happen to you, but I understand your fear. At least let me watch and follow you from a distance, to make sure you get home safely.”

You nodded reluctantly. It was late after all, and even though the village was small, you still didn't feel safe walking back alone. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Just… Please, be careful.”

Hongjoong gave you a reassuring nod. “I promise. Just stay close to the path, and I’ll make sure you get home safely.” He led you to the door, and as you stepped out into the night, the cool air brushing against your skin, you felt a sudden sadness overcoming you.

You didn't want to leave. Or moreover: you didn't want to go back. Back to him. 

With a final glance back at Hongjoong, you set off down the path, which was the opposite direction of where you first came to his house from the forest. 

The journey felt shorter than you wanted it to be, and before long, the familiar sight of your house came into view. The windows were dark, a sign that your husband was thankfully still asleep. You stopped at the edge of your property, your heart pounding in your chest as you glanced back at the shadowy figure of Hongjoong standing in the distance.

With a final nod and a slight wave, you turned away and walked up to the door. You opened it as quietly as you could, slipping inside and closing it behind you with a soft click. The house was silent, and only the steady ticking of the clock on the wall could be heard. You held your breath, listening for any sign of movement from your husband.

Silence. Good.

Because silence was always better than his usual rage and violence. 

“This is a good night,” you murmured. You quietly moved to the window, trying to see if Hongjoong was still there.

One last time. I gotta see him just one last time. 

But unfortunately, your kind and pretty stranger was no longer there.

The trees seemed to slowly close in around you. 

The forest surrounding you felt alive, watching, waiting.

A shiver ran down your spine as the sound of rustling leaves echoed ominously through the forest.

Just three more steps. One. Two. Three-

“Y/N?”

“Dear God!”

The sudden movement caused the reason you were here today to dart deeper into the underbrush. “Benji!” you called out, frustration now evident in your frantic voice.

Hongjoong stepped closer. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. What… are you doing here?”

You sighed. “I'm looking for a little cat. Met the little one last week, shortly before Django attacked me. He was gone afterwards. I've been coming here all week, but it's of no use. Last week he was so trusting, but now… it's so hard to even get close to him.”

The sun was piercing through the trees on this warm Friday evening, and you had to squint your eyes as you looked in the direction Benji ran away. 

“I can't see him anymore,” you said.

Hongjoong’s expression softened. “Do you want some help?” he asked. You nodded, shooting him an appreciative smile. “I’d really like that.”

The two of you moved cautiously, stepping lightly over the forest floor. The silence between you was punctuated only by the occasional crack of a twig or the rustle of leaves.

As you neared the spot where you last saw Benji, Hongjoong held up a hand, signalling for you to stop. He crouched down, peering into the thick bushes.

“There,” he whispered, pointing. “I see him.”

You followed his gaze and spotted the little cat, his eyes wide and alert as he watched you both from the shadows.

“Benji,” you called softly, your voice gentle. “It’s okay, buddy. We’re here to help you.”

Slowly, painstakingly, Benji inched closer, drawn by the sound of your voice. You took a tentative step forward, trying to maintain your balance on the uneven ground. Just as you were about to reach him, your foot slipped into a hidden hole in the forest floor. You stumbled, your ankle twisting painfully as you almost fell.

Behind you, Hongjoong reacted instantly, his strong hand grabbing your arm to steady you. You hissed in pain as his grip tightened around a particularly sore spot.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

You nodded quickly, trying to brush it off. “Yeah, just twisted my ankle a bit.” You chuckled awkwardly. “It's quite funny, isn't it? I always get hurt when we meet.”

But Hongjoong didn’t let go. His eyes narrowed as he noticed the bruises on your arm, previously hidden by your sleeve. “Y/N… what happened?” he asked, his voice a mix of anger and concern.

You swallowed hard, looking away. “It’s nothing. Just an accident at home.”

He shook his head, his grip gentle but firm. “Y/N, don’t lie to me. Was this… your husband?”

You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “Hongjoong, please. Y-you know I can't talk about it.”

“I know,” he whispered, “But…” 

He didn't continue his sentence. Instead, his eyes found yours, and everything he couldn't say, every single, unspoken emotion you found there, hidden behind those kind, brown orbs. 

And you understood. You understood that if this man had the chance to change your situation, he would do it. Whatever it would take, and all for you. 

A married woman. Practically a stranger still, despite the intimate moment you shared.

In that very moment, you sinned.

And God was your only witness as you fell a little bit for a man that wasn't your husband.

“Meow.”

Benji’s soft meow brought you back to the present. You looked down to see the little cat rubbing against your leg, practically purring his heart out. You reached down, gently scooping the little Grey fur ball up into your arms.

Hongjoong watched you, his expression unreadable to you. “He's still so little. You sure his mother isn't nearby as well?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I've been here to get him every day and haven't seen any other cat here. He seems to be completely alone.”

“Alright then, let’s get him to my home first. We’ll figure something out then.”

You nodded. Without even mentioning, Hongjoong knew you couldn't take him to your own home. 

The path back seemed shorter, perhaps because you weren't alone anymore. Benji fidgeted a lot, but wasn't as much of a trouble as you originally thought. 

When you reached the edge of the forest, the sunlight was brighter, and you could hear the distant sounds of the town.

“I'm glad you don't have any close neighbours.”

“I'm also glad. Because if I did, I wouldn't be able to see you right now Y/N,” he said, and smiled. Oh, that goddamn smile. 

You're not quite sure what it meant, but you felt your heart skip a beat. It was something so beautiful only described in those ‘unholy’ books your mother forbade you to read, but ended up doing anyway. You felt like a young girl again, curious and desperate for love, seeking solace in men that weren't real, but oh so charming.

Men who couldn't hurt you. Couldn't touch any part of your body, only your pure heart.

Yeah, that's how Kim Hongjoong made you feel. With only a smile. 

You felt like you were flying, so free and happy and brave and young again. Like you could conquer the whole world together. 

But Kim Hongjoong wasn't yours. Because in no world could you ever become his.

Stepping foot into his shop was like entering another work, and even though you've already seen his gorgeous dresses, you still looked at them in awe. 

“One day,” you whispered. 

“If you want, you can try a dress on. No one will bother us since the store's closed today.”

You shivered. Hongjoong stood almost right behind you, his warmth radiating off his body.

The temptation to indulge in this small fantasy was strong, but you shook your head. “I couldn’t possibly,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing at all,” Hongjoong replied, his tone gentle yet insistent. “Think of it as a gift. Besides, I could use some help around here.”

Your curiosity piqued and you turned to face him. “Help? With what?”

He gestured to the array of dresses on display. “I’ve been working on some new designs, but I don’t have a proper model to try them on. I use mannequins for display, but it’s not the same. I need someone to see how the dresses move and fit in real life. You can work for me in exchange for taking in Benji. Model my dresses, help me with fittings and adjustments. It’s a fair trade, don’t you think?”

“I'd like that,” you whispered, “it's just… these dresses are made for royalty, not for a woman like… like me, Hongjoong.”

He vehemently shook his head. “You underestimate yourself, Y/N. Just try one on, for me?”

You nodded slowly, and he selected a dress from the rack, a soft, flowing gown in a shade of deep emerald. You took it from him, feeling the weight and texture of the fabric, smooth and luxurious against your skin.

Hongjoong led you to a small changing area behind a curtain. You stepped behind it, your heart pounding. Carefully, you undressed and slipped into the gown. The fabric felt cool and comforting, draping over your body with an unexpected ease. You adjusted the dress, feeling its weight settle around you, and took a deep breath before stepping out.

Hongjoong's reaction was immediate and genuine. His eyes widened, a look of pure admiration spreading across his face. “Y/N,” he breathed, “you look… stunning.”

You blushed, feeling embarrassed yet also undeniably charmed. “I don’t know about that. It feels strange, like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.”

“You’re not pretending,” he said softly, stepping closer. “This is you, Y/N. The real you. Sometimes a princess just needs the right dress to feel like one.”

You hesitated, still feeling unsure. “It’s just… I’m not used to this. I feel out of place.”

Hongjoong’s gaze was steady and reassuring, not once taking his eyes off of you. “You belong in this dress, Y/N. Trust me. Walk around a bit, feel the fabric, see how it moves with you.”

You took a tentative step, then another. The dress flowed around you, the fabric whispering against your skin. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror, and for the first time, you saw what Hongjoong saw – a woman who was strong, beautiful, and so, so much more.

“See?” he said softly, standing right behind you. “You’re perfect.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you fought hard to hold them back.

You're perfect.

Oh Hongjoong, you thought, I'm anything but. I'm lost, I'm weak, I'm scared. 

But instead, with his eyes on you, calm and beautiful and so honest looking, all you could mutter was, “Yes. Yes I am.”

He looked at you proudly.

And so, the hours went by, spent with you trying on several more gorgeous dresses and Hongjoong eagerly taking notes and making small changes here and there. 

With each dress you tried on, you felt a little more confident. The first few moments were always awkward, feeling out of place and almost guilty for indulging in this fantasy. But Hongjoong’s constant reassurance and the genuine admiration in his eyes slowly chipped away at your insecurities.

The emerald gown gave way to a sky-blue dress that shimmered in the light. Then a deep burgundy number that made your skin glow. Each dress was a work of art, and each time you emerged from behind the curtain, Hongjoong’s reaction was the same – pure, unadulterated admiration.

“You’re like a vision,” he murmured as you twirled in a pale pink gown. “These dresses come to life on you.”

By the time you tried on the final dress, a stunning midnight blue creation with delicate silver embroidery, you felt like a different person. The woman in the mirror was confident, elegant, and yes, perfect.

Like the princess from your book coming straight to life.

“You must be exhausted,” Hongjoong hummed, helping you step down the small podium, “go ahead and change while I fetch you something to drink, okay?”

“Okay.”

You slipped back behind the curtain. As you changed out of the midnight blue gown into your ordinary clothes, you felt the weight of reality slowly setting in again. 

Looking outside and seeing the sun slowly disappearing meant you head to return home.

Hongjoong returned with a glass of water and a soft smile. “Here you go,” he said, handing you the drink. “You did amazing today, Y/N. Thank you for helping me.”

You took the glass gratefully, feeling the cool water soothe your parched throat. “I'm glad I could be of help.”

“Alright, same day and time next week?” he asked.

Without wasting a second, you agreed. “Yes. I'll be there, Hongjoong.”

Wherever there was light, the lurking darkness was never far away, and you realised that pretty early on.

Even before Hongjoong stumbled into your life, you noticed something. Your husband wasn't coming home after getting off work, instead opting to spend his free time in the town's tavern or with his various affair partners.

And to be honest, you didn't mind.

Instead, you were happy about it. So so happy.

That is, until the townspeople started talking. Ruthlessly. And not about your abusive, alcoholic and cheating husband; no, about you - the ‘bad, sinning wife.’

The wife who couldn't be obedient enough. The wife who couldn't give him children. 

It was unbearable. Their words stung and hurt you deeply, but they were true.

…Right?

Your childhood and adolescence were spent learning about your future duties as a wife. Taking care of the house, obeying your husband without question, birthing his children and believing in God and his good deeds.

And you failed all these duties, so you deserved to be frowned upon. 

Even your own family thought so, too.

The only person who didn't was Kim Hongjoong, who was currently working on a purple gown you stood model for just a few minutes ago.

If he noticed how quiet you were today, he didn't mention it. 

“How does it look?” he asked, glancing up at you shyly, like your opinion truly mattered to him.

“It’s beautiful,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. The gown was stunning, but that was to be expected of him. But today, even his pretty dresses couldn't cheer you up.

He nodded, a faint smile touching his lips. “It's even prettier when you're wearing it, Y/N.”

You blushed previously, but only managed a small smile in return, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “Thank you, Hongjoong. I just… I’m not feeling very well today.”

Hongjoong set his needle and thread aside, his full attention now on you. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The genuine concern in his voice was almost your undoing. You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself, your finger nestling with the fabric of your shabby dress. “It’s nothing, really. Just… the usual gossip in town.”

His expression darkened slightly. “People can be cruel. You don’t deserve that.”

“Maybe I do,” you said quietly, looking away. “Maybe they’re right.”

“No,” Hongjoong said firmly, stepping closer. “They’re not right. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You’re strong, and kind, and… you deserve so much more than what you’ve been given.”

A sob escaped your lips and you hid your face behind your hands, unable to face Hongjoong's eyes.

“H-how did you deal with this all alone? I can't… I don't even wanna leave my house anymore. The looks they give me, their words… It hurts so much, but I know they're right. I know that I-”

“What could you have possibly done wrong, Y/N?” Hongjoong cut you off, and for the first time since you've known him, he'd raised his voice, and you flinched, because anger could only ever mean one thing and soon his hands would-

His hands slowly took yours into his own, and instead of hurting you, they caressed you carefully as tears fell down your cheeks.

“I'm a bad wife, Hongjoong…”

He vehemently shook his head, his hands gripping your own tighter. “No, Y/N. You're not a bad wife. He is a bad husband.”

“Do you believe in God, Hongjoong?” you quietly asked.

He visibly tensed up, avoiding all eye contact. 

“It's okay,” you quickly reassured him, “I know in my religion it's a sin not believing, but since I'm also struggling… I really have no room to judge you for not believing in God. I also had my suspicions already, since you're one of the only people in town who doesn't attend Sunday mass.”

Hongjoong's shoulders relaxed a little, though he still seemed wary. "I don't know what I believe anymore," he admitted. "But I do know this: no god worth believing in would want you to suffer in a marriage like this.”

“I- please don't say that. God is good, he knows all, and if I am getting punished t-then that means that I deserve it! There's a verse... ah, God, a-according to... to Ephesians 5:22-24, ‘Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything’.”

Hongjoong sighed, his expression a mix of both frustration and empathy. “Y/N, I understand that those verses have been drilled into you, but what about the rest of it? The parts that speak about love and respect?”

You looked down, your hands trembling slightly. “I’ve tried to love and respect him, but nothing I do is ever enough.”

“That’s because he should give you the same love and respect in return, yet he doesn't,” Hongjoong said softly. “A true marriage should be a partnership, where both people uplift and support each other. What you have isn’t that.”

“But what if God is just testing me to see if my faith in him is strong enough? And I'm clearly failing him because I'm weak and… and… oh God.” You started sobbing uncontrollably again.

Hongjoong wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you cried. He spoke softly, his voice steady and reassuring. "Y/N, if God is testing you, it’s not to see you suffer but to help you find your strength. And strength doesn’t mean staying in a place where you are being hurt. Strength is knowing when to stand up for yourself and seek the life you deserve."

You clung to him like a child to its mother, your tears soaking his shirt. "I don’t know if I can do that. I’ve never known anything else.”

“You asked me if I believed in God,” he reluctantly began, “and… it's complicated. I do believe in something, like a higher power that none of us can truly grasp, but… I don't believe in the Christian God. Or any other religion's God for that matter. Because to me, believing in something shouldn't come with any rules. Yet all religions do it, and I just… I think that's wrong. They label anything that they aren't comfortable with immediately as bad. I learned that the hard way.”

You pulled back slightly, looking at him with curiosity through your tear-streaked eyes. "What do you mean?"

Hongjoong sighed, his eyes distant as he recalled. "I was… different growing up. I didn’t fit the stereotype that everyone expected. I was more interested in art and fashion than in the traditional roles laid out for men in our community. I grew up in a small religious city just like you and because of that, I faced a lot of judgement. I was labelled a sinner, a bad person, just like you are now. But what truly opened my eyes was when I met two men whom I quickly grew close with. Well… they were in love with each other, and the people from my town… they planned to kill them. By publicly executing them. That night, the three of us ran away, and I haven't been back since.”

“What I also wanna say,” he added before you could speak, “is that if you truly believe in the Christian God and it makes you happy you should never give up your faith. But Y/N… you're not happy, not with your religion and definitely not with your marriage.”

Deep down, you knew he was right. But that also meant that your whole life, your whole upbringing was nothing but a lie. Nothing but pure manipulation. 

And you weren't ready to admit that yet.

He held you for what felt like hours, humming soft melodies and caressing your back over and over again.

“I'm sorry,” you said, your words muffled in his shirt, “I'm sorry for not being able to choose the right path yet.”

“Oh, you silly woman.” he laughed and squeezed you tightly again, “don't you dare apologise for taking your time.”

“Okay,” you hiccuped, wiping your tears away, “I'm sorry for apologising- Oh God, I just did it again.”

Hongjoong chuckled softly, his laughter mixing with your own, lightening the heavy mood. 

After a while, he backed up, and you immediately started missing his arms around you. “Hey, I know you're not feeling too well today, but there's something I wanna do. Something for… for you.”

“For me?” you asked surprised.

“Yeah. You only stood model for dresses that needed nothing but slight retouching, but… I wanna do a dress specifically for you.”

“For me?” you repeated, disbelief colouring your voice. “You’d make a dress just for me?”

Hongjoong smiled warmly, nodding. “Yes, just for you. You're like my muse, Y/N. You give me so many ideas.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you felt your cheeks flaring up. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything,” Hongjoong replied gently. “Just let me do this for you.”

You hesitated, then nodded slowly, trusting this man completely. “Okay.”

Hongjoong’s face lit up with pure excitement. “Great! Come, I have some ideas already.”

He led you into one of the rooms behind the shop. You quickly saw this was the place where he worked, full of mannequins, fabrics and more. He quickly set to work, pulling out fabrics and sketching designs into a sketchbook. His enthusiasm was infectious, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of genuine happiness.

“Do you have any preferences?” Hongjoong asked, looking up from his sketches. “A colour you love, a style you’ve always wanted to try?”

You thought for a moment. “I’ve always loved blue,” you admitted. “It reminds me of the sky, the sea… freedom.”

Hongjoong’s smile widened. “Blue it is, then. I can already see you in it, it suits you.”

As Hongjoong started working, you watched him silently in awe. His hands moved with precision and grace, his focus unwavering. It was clear that this truly was his passion, and he poured his heart into every stitch.

Hours passed, but there was still much to do. The room was filled with the soothing sound of fabric rustling and the rhythmic click of scissors. Hongjoong occasionally asked for your opinion, and after a while, Benji joined too, placing himself onto your lap and purring so loudly it made Hongjoong lose focus several times.

When the sun started slowly disappearing, it meant the end of your weekly session. “We made good progress today,” Hongjoong said, smiling. “Let's continue next week.”

When you returned home that day, the smile Hongjoong put on your face still hadn't left your face, not even when you saw the mess in your house or your husband passed out on the couch, completely wasted. Instead, you quietly started cleaning, all your worries and problems elsewhere because at that very moment, all you could think of was a certain man named Kim Hongjoong. 

And how you wished that, in another world, he could be your husband instead.

The next weeks seemed to drag on endlessly, each and every day filled with the same monotonous routine. Your husband’s drinking worsened, and the church, which had once been your one and only safe space, was slowly turning into a place you started to resent more and more each day, because every pair that laid its eyes on you was not viewing you with any kindness, but judgement, and the shame, the utter humiliation you felt was steadily becoming too much to handle. Yet, you reminded yourself that you did have something to look forward to: seeing Hongjoong once a week.

Every session with Hongjoong was a reprieve from the relentless condemnation you faced in the town. His shop became your sanctuary, a place where you could be yourself without fear of judgement. He was always there with a warm smile and a listening ear, making you feel valued and understood in a way you hadn't felt in years.

In a way not even family or close friends could.

One afternoon, as you entered his shop, you were greeted by Hongjoong slumped over his desk, sound asleep with both fabric and needles still in his hands.

You quietly walked over, careful not to startle him. Gently, you took the fabric and needles from his hands, setting them aside. You noticed dark circles under his eyes and the way his clothes hung loosely on his frame, signs of the toll his hard work and sleepless nights were taking on him.

Behind you, Benji made a sound, jumping on the table and staring at his owner.

“Your daddy is a little foolish for overworking himself, am I right baby?” you said, quietly chuckling as Benji laid his head in your outstretched hand. He didn't pay his owner any mind.

Hongjoong stirred at the sound of your voice, blinking awake. When he saw you, a sheepish smile tugged at his lips. “Y/N, I'm sorry. I must have dozed off.”

“Don't apologise,” you replied softly, still occupied with petting Benji. “You need to take better care of yourself, Joongie. You've been working too hard.”

He blushed at the nickname you called him, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “I just… wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

“Perfection can wait,” you said gently. “Your health can't.”

He nodded, looking genuinely touched by your concern. “I'll try to rest more. I promise.”

Benji meowed softly, seemingly agreeing with you, and you couldn't help but laugh. “Even Benji thinks so.”

“I'm pretty sure Benji would agree to everything his mommy would say, he practically worships the ground you walk on,” Hongjoong chuckled, reaching out to scratch the needy cat behind the ears. At your insistent gaze, he reluctantly agreed: “Alright, alright. I'll take it easy.”

“Good,” you said, smiling. “Now, how about some tea? It looks like you could use a break.”

Hongjoong nodded appreciatively. “That sounds wonderful.”

You made your way to the small kitchenette in the back of the shop, preparing two cups of tea. As the water boiled, you glanced back at Hongjoong, who was now petting Benji and looking more relaxed. It warmed your heart to see him taking a moment for himself.

When the tea was ready, you brought the cups over to the table and handed one to Hongjoong. He took a sip, closing his eyes as he savoured the warmth. “Thank you, Y/N. This is just what I needed.”

“You do so much for me, let me tend to you once in a while too,” you said.

You both sat in comfortable silence for a while, respectively sipping your tea. After a few moments, Hongjoong broke the silence. “I've been thinking a lot lately,” he began, his voice tentative. “About what you said last time, about the church and how they've been treating you.”

You looked up from your tea, meeting his eyes. “What about it?”

“I've seen how much it's been weighing on you, and it breaks my heart,” he said, his gaze sincere. “But as a mere villager, my hands are bound, although I wish it would be different. Do you think… Do you think it would help if I would accompany you to Sunday mass? Of course separately, but maybe… maybe that could be of help to you.”

Your heart thudded in your chest, the sound almost deafening in the quiet of the room. His offer sent waves of emotions crashing through you.

No one had ever been this kind, this lovely to you, especially a man.

You stared at him, momentarily speechless, the weight of his words settling over you like a warm, comforting blanket. He wanted to help you, to stand by you in a place that had become a source of pain and humiliation, for the both of you. He cared enough to offer a hand in a situation he knew he had no control over, and the realisation hit you like a bolt of lightning.

You glanced down at your cup, the steam rising in delicate tendrils, and tried to steady your breathing. You had always known that Hongjoong was different, that he was shunned for being different, and that he had a kindness and understanding that was rare in this judgmental town. But now, as you sat there with him, you also realised something else: your feelings for him ran deeper than you had allowed yourself to acknowledge.

Million thoughts swirled in your mind. How could you feel this way about him when you were still bound to a man who had long since stopped caring for you? Your duty as a wife was to be loyal to your husband till death do you apart, and you failed. Miserably. Was it fair to Hongjoong, who had done nothing but support and uplift you, to be dragged into your complicated, painful life? 

No. He deserved a woman who could give him everything he wanted, and that definitely wasn't you. You couldn't even give him your hand in marriage.

And yet, despite the confusion and the guilt, there was an undeniable truth you couldn't ignore: you were falling for him. 

He was the prince you long had hoped you'd find, but you weren't his princess.

You thought back to all the times he had been there for you, his gentle words and warm smiles, the way he listened to you without judgement, making you feel seen and heard. His dedication to his craft, his passion for creating beauty in a world that often seemed devoid of it, mirrored the passion he had for helping you and any living being he encountered. It was this combination of compassion and creativity, of understanding and resilience, that drew you to him like a moth to a flame.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked back at him, his concerned expression making your heart ache. 

He had no idea what was going on inside your head, and in this very moment you made a promise to yourself: the feelings you harboured for this beautiful, perfect man would be kept a secret forever. You would take them with you to your very death.

You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. “Hongjoong,” you began, your voice trembling, “I... I don't know what to say. Your offer means the world to me. Truly.”

“But?” he asked, knowing you weren't quite done talking yet.

“I have to decline. I'm not gonna stand by and watch you going into a church you clearly don't want to go to. There's no reason for you to do so,” you said firmly.

“But there is a reason,” he whispered, his fingers slowly drawing patterns on the palm of your hand. You had to take your eyes off him. “You. You are the reason.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and the room seemed to blur around you as his words echoed in your mind. You. You are the reason. How could someone so selfless, so kind, want to sacrifice his comfort for yours? The weight of his sincerity bore down on you, making it difficult to breathe. You wanted to believe that you could accept his offer, lean on him without reservation, but the reality of your situation loomed large and impossible to ignore.

Tears welled up in your eyes again, threatening to spill over. You couldn’t let him do this. You couldn’t let him tie himself to your miseries and your complicated life. He deserved so much more.

But knowing Kim Hongjoong, he wouldn't accept no for an answer, and so you said quietly, “I'll think about it.”

He smiled brightly at you, his hand finding yours and squeezing it tightly. Your wedding ring was an uncomfortable reminder of the future this bond of yours would hold in the future.

Suddenly, Hongjoong's eyes lit up with a familiar spark of excitement. “I think it's time for you to see it,” he said, standing up with renewed energy. 

“See what? The dress?! You're already finished?!”

Instead of answering, he led you to the back of the shop, where a tall, covered mannequin stood. With a dramatic flourish, he pulled away the cloth, revealing a dress so exquisite it took your breath away.

The gown was a deep, saturated blue that shimmered like the ocean under a sky full of shining stars. The bodice was intricately embroidered with silver thread, forming delicate patterns of stars and swirling vines. The neckline was elegant and modest, dipping just enough to be flattering without being revealing. The sleeves were long and fitted, ending in graceful points that brushed against the tip of your hands, embroidered with the same silver designs that already adorned the bodice.

The skirt flowed from the waist in cascading layers of silk and tulle, creating a voluminous yet ethereal effect. Each layer was edged with even more silver embroidery. The back of the dress featured a row of tiny, delicate buttons that ran from the nape of the neck to the small of the back, adding a touch of old-world charm.

You gasped, unable to fathom what you were seeing. “Hongjoong, it’s... it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

His entire being seemed to relax as a delicate reddish colour adorned his cheeks. “Thank God you like it, it would've been worthless if not.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached out to touch the dress, your fingers trembling slightly. “Thank you, Joongie. I don’t know what to say.”

He smiled gently. “How about trying it on? I’d love to see you in it - No, I need to see you in it.”

You nodded, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Hongjoong carefully lifted the gown from the mannequin and handed it to you. You stepped behind the changing screen, the luxurious fabric feeling cool and smooth against your skin.

As you tried to change into the gown, you realised just how intricate it truly was. The buttons down the back were nearly impossible to fasten on your own, and the delicate fabric seemed to slip through your fingers. You struggled with the fastenings, your frustration obvious as you fidgeted with each and every button like a little child.

“Hongjoong,” you called out softly, your voice trembling. “I think I might need some help.”

He was at your side in an instant, sending your heart into a frenzy. 

So close.

Too close? 

No, not close enough.

“Of course, let me help you.” His fingers moved carefully over the buttons, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of intimacy as he worked, his hands warm and steady against your back.

When the last button was fastened, he stepped back, his eyes wide with admiration. “Y/N, you look... absolutely stunning.”

You stepped out from behind the screen, feeling like you had stepped into a fairy tale. The dress fit perfectly, accentuating your figure perfectly and complimenting every unique feature of yours. You twirled slightly, the skirt flowing around you like a dream.

Not once did Hongjoong’s eyes leave you. “It’s perfect,” he murmured. “You’re perfect.”

Your blush deepened as you caught sight of yourself in the mirror. The dress was everything you had ever dreamed of and more.

As you moved, you felt the cool brush of the fabric against your bare skin, a sensation that made you acutely aware of your body in a way you hadn’t felt in years. Just seconds before, Hongjoong’s hands had lingered on your back, and the memory of his touch sent a jolt of both pleasure and guilt through you. The touch of a man, one who truly cared for you, was something you hadn’t realised how much you really had craved until now. 

“I feel like a princess,” you whispered. You didn't notice a tear streaming down your check until Hongjoong carefully cupped your face and wiped it away. 

“Would the princess like to dance with me?” he sheepishly asked, sending a playful wink your way that made you both laugh and blush.

You managed a smile through your tears. “Yes, I would love that.”

Hongjoong’s eyes sparkled with joy as he extended his hand to you. You placed your hand in his, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours. He led you to the centre of the room, where he gently placed his other hand on your waist, the contact sending a shiver down your spine.

For a moment, you both stood there, simply enjoying the shared closeness. Then, slowly, he began to guide you in a swift motion, your movements mirroring each other with an ease that felt almost magical.

The dress flowed around you as you twirled. Hongjoong's eyes never once left yours, his gaze filled with a mixture of undying bliss and something deeper, something you were almost afraid to name.

“My husband never danced with me, not even on our wedding day,” you said.

Hongjoong’s expression softened, his grip on your hand tightening slightly as he led you in another gentle turn. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing,” he said quietly, his voice filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

You looked up at him, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “Hongjoong, I…”

He shook his head slightly, stopping your words with a gentle smile. “You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. Just… let’s enjoy this moment. Let’s pretend, even if it’s just for a little while, that the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

You nodded, your heart swelling with emotion as you followed his lead, the two of you moving together in perfect harmony. In his arms, the weight of your troubles seemed to lift, if only for a brief moment. The dress, the dance, the soft glow of the afternoon light filtering through the shop’s windows - it all felt like a scene from your favourite romance books.

You and Hongjoong were lost in the moment, the world around you fading into the background as you danced together. His hand on your waist, the warmth of his touch, the way his eyes never left yours - it was all so perfect, so right, like nothing else in your entire life.

Just as Hongjoong spun you gracefully, a voice shattered your beautiful moment. “Well, what do we have here?”

You both froze, turning to see an elderly woman standing in the doorway, her sharp eyes fixed on you. You didn’t recognize her, but there was an unmistakable air of authority surrounding her. Hongjoong stiffened beside you, his hand dropping from your waist as he quickly took a step back.

“Mrs. Lee,” he said, his voice stern but polite. “What brings you here?”

Mrs. Lee’s eyes narrowed as she took in the scene, her gaze lingering on your flushed cheeks and the way you were anxiously clenching the skirt of the beautiful dress. “I’ve been looking for you, Hongjoong. We need to talk about my daughter.”

Your heart sank, and a wave of terror washed over you. You quickly stepped away from Hongjoong, trying to compose yourself.

“I… I should go,” you stammered, avoiding Mrs. Lee’s piercing gaze. “Thank you for everything, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong reached out, his hand gently touching your arm. “Y/N, wait-”

Mrs. Lee’s voice cut through the tension. “Hongjoong, I’ve been very patient with you. My daughter, Sooyeon, is a good match for you, and it’s time you stop dilly-dallying and make a decision.”

Hongjoong’s jaw tightened, but he kept his tone measured. “Mrs. Lee, I’ve told you before, I’m not ready for marriage.”

Mrs. Lee scoffed, her eyes flicking to you with clear disdain. “Not ready for marriage, yet you have time for… this?” She gestured between the two of you, her meaning unmistakable.

You felt a flush of shame and panic. “This isn’t what it looks like. I'm a married woman,” you began, but Mrs. Lee cut you off with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Save your breath, young lady. I know exactly what this is. And believe me, the town and your husband will hear about it!”

The threat hung heavy in the air, and you could see the worry etched on Hongjoong’s face. You almost fainted at the panic that rushed over you. He stepped forward, placing himself slightly between you and Mrs. Lee. “There’s no need for threats, Mrs. Lee. Y/N and I were just… discussing some alterations for her dress.”

Mrs. Lee raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Discussing alterations, were you? In each other’s arms?”

Hongjoong opened his mouth to respond, but you couldn’t bear it any longer. “Please, Mrs. Lee,” you pleaded, your voice trembling. “Don’t tell anyone. It’s not what you think.”

I don't wanna die. 

I don't wanna die.

She looked at you, her lips forming into a cold smile. “I’ll keep this quiet - for now. But only if Hongjoong agrees to meet with my daughter. Alone.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m very serious,” Mrs. Lee replied, her tone leaving no room for argument. “Think about it, Hongjoong. Both your reputation is on the line here.”

The room fell silent, the weight of the ultimatum pressing down on all three of you. Finally, Hongjoong sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Fine. I’ll meet with Sooyeon.”

Mrs. Lee’s smile was triumphant. “Good. I’ll expect you at my house tomorrow evening.”

With that, she turned and left the shop, leaving you and Hongjoong standing in shocked silence. You could feel the tears welling up, the reality of the situation crashing down around you.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Hongjoong shook his head, his eyes filled with a mixture of frustration and sadness. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. None of this is.”

You wanted to believe him, but the guilt and fear were overwhelming. “I should go,” you said.

Hongjoong tried to stop you, but you rushed behind the curtain and hastily took the dress off. Finally, in your normal clothes again, Hongjoong tried to get ahold of you, but you took off in such a hurry he couldn't even open his mouth and practically sprinted out the open door.

“Y/N, wait,” he called after you, but you were already out the door, the tears streaming down your face. As you hurried home, you could only hope that Mrs. Lee would keep her word, because if not, there was a real possibility you would be dead real soon.

And the man you loved as well.

Your family's stall at the weekly market was as busy as ever. The familiar hustle and bustle of vendors calling out their wares and customers bartering for the best deals filled the air. You tried to focus on helping your mother arrange the vegetables, but your mind kept drifting away. 

“Y/N, are you alright?” your mother asked, her brow furrowed with concern as she noticed your distracted state.

You forced a smile. “Yes, mama. Just tired, I guess.”

She took off her gloves and took your face into her callused hands. Your body immediately relaxed at your mother's touch, while your mind was spiralling. 

“I should've never let your father marry you off to this douchebag,” she tearfully exclaimed.

Ah. There it was. The lies.

You knew your mother had always harboured guilt about your marriage, but it wasn't fair for her to carry the blame. It was a decision made by your father, and you had gone along with it, hoping for the best. But the weight of her words only added to the turmoil inside you. Her attempts at comfort now seemed hollow, given how often she had turned a blind eye to your suffering.

“It's not your fault, Mama,” you said gently, placing your hand over hers. “You couldn't have known how things would turn out.”

She sighed, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I just want you to be happy, Y/N. You deserve so much more than this.”

Her words stung. Where was this concern when you needed it most? When your cries for help went unheard?

While your father and older sisters didn't even pretend to care, your mother did - in a way. Yet never enough to actually help.

Maybe blaming her was too much. You knew that without your father's approval she couldn't do anything. After all, she was just a woman like you, trapped in a time where all you could do was listen and obey the men in your lives.

Yet it hurt. So much. Sometimes, all you wanted was to return to better times. Back in your mother's lap, laughing with your sisters while she told stories about love and worlds too perfect for your understanding. 

You were the last unmarried child remaining in your parents house. All your sisters were married off to good, somewhat wealthy husbands, either already with child and or waiting to be blessed with the fruit of life. All was well, until your father's business began to lose some serious money. He grew desperate to maintain the family's status, and in his desperation, he had accepted the first marriage proposal that came your way - no matter the man behind it. 

While all your sisters were given away to live in good, wealthy living households like the one you grew up in, your husband was working in a factory, barely making enough to support himself, yet alone a wife and future offspring. 

On top of that, he didn't even hide the fact how he was treating you. Your family knew. The town knew. Yet no one really cared, because you were now nothing but a poor, lowly woman.

And so, you became an outcast in your own family. You were the sister who had married below her status, the daughter who had brought shame to the family name. Your father, once proud and authoritative, could hardly look at you without a glimmer of disappointment in his eyes. Your sisters, though affectionate in public, whispered behind your back, their words filled with pity and disdain.

Your mother's concern, when it did come, was always in private. She would hold you and cry, promising that she had tried to convince your father to wait for a better match, that she had tried fighting for you. But where was she when you needed her most? When you had begged her to intervene, to stop the marriage, she had been silent. When you had showed up late at night with wounds serious enough to kill, she sent you right back home. And now, her tears felt like salt in an old, festering wound.

But while your mother had her faults, she was really the only family member you could really confide in. So, you took a deep, steady breath and turned to her with a determined expression. “Mom, there's something I need to tell you. Siwoo… Siwoo's-”

“Y/N,” she cut you off, “Don't slander your husband's name in front of me.”

“Mom, please-”

“Enough! We're in public!” she hissed, glancing around nervously.

You bit your lip, the words dying in your throat. The market's noise seemed to close in around you, a suffocating reminder of the ever-watchful eyes of the townspeople. You had learned long ago that your cries for help would only fall on deaf ears or, worse, invite further scrutiny and gossip.

So you swallowed your pain and simply nodded. “Yes, Mama. I'm sorry.”

She looked at you, her eyes filled with a mixture of regret and helplessness. “Let's finish up here. We'll talk later at home. Could you deliver the usual supplies to Mrs. Goo? You know the old lady can't walk anymore, but she pays us well. Your sister's too busy with the children to do it herself.”

You nodded again, grateful for the distraction. As you gathered the supplies and made your way through the busy market, you tried to steady your nerves. The fresh air and distance from the stall helped clear your mind a bit, but your conversation with your mother still pressed down on you.

She didn't even try to listen to you.

Navigating the crowded paths, you marvel at the sights and sounds of the market: the colourful array of various products, the lively chatter of people, the smell of freshly baked bread. It was a small reprieve from everything, yet it didn't keep your mind occupied for long. 

Turning a corner, you nearly bumped into Hongjoong, who was accompanied by Mrs. Lee's daughter, Sooyeon. The first thing you noticed was how awkward he seemed with her, keeling the woman at arms length, a stark contrast to how natural and at ease he was when he was with you.

“I'm really bad with women,” he said, clearly embarrassed. 

You chuckled. “I don't believe you. You act so natural and nonchalant when you're with me! Does that mean I'm not a real woman in your eyes? you teasingly asked.

His expression turned serious. “Of course I see you as a woman. But… everything feels easy when it comes to you.”

“Hongjoong!” you exclaimed, surprised.

You hadn't seen each other for a month now, but if he had something to say about you avoiding him, he didn't speak on it.

His eyes lit up at the sight of you, but his smile was somewhat strained. “Y/N, it's good to see you.”

Sooyeon glanced between the two of you, a curious look on her face. “Hello, Y/N. How are you?” she asked, her tone polite but detached.

“I'm well, thank you. Just running some errands for my mother,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light.

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence. You could sense the tension in Hongjoong's stance, the way he seemed almost relieved to see you yet burdened by Sooyeon's presence.

“Oh, look at those flowers! They’re so pretty!” Sooyeon suddenly exclaimed, her attention captured by a nearby stall. She moved toward the vibrant display, leaving you and Hongjoong a few moments alone.

Hongjoong let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Y/N, I’ve missed seeing-”

Your whole demeanour changed. Now, you thought, now's the only chance I got.

“Joong, I need your help,” you urgently whispered.

He glanced over at Sooyeon, ensuring she was still distracted. “How can I?...”

You clasped his hands with all the strength left in you. “He's gonna kill me. Tonight. H-he… he bought a gun. He's going to kill me and there's nothing I can do!” you sobbed.

Hongjoong's eyes widened in alarm, and he squeezed your hands reassuringly. “Y/N, we have to get you out of there. Do you have anywhere safe to go?”

You shook your head, panic making your thoughts race. “No, I have nowhere. I can't go back to my parents. They won't help.”

He looked around, his mind clearly racing as well. “We’ll figure something out. But first, you need to stay calm. We don’t want to draw any attention.”

“Please, Hongjoong, I’m so scared,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

He nodded firmly. “I know, but you’re not alone. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

Sooyeon returned, holding a bouquet of vibrant flowers. “Aren’t these lovely?” she asked, oblivious to the tension.

Oblivious to the fact that in just a few hours, you would be dead. Literally gone. Irradiaticated from the world.

He forced a smile. “They are, Sooyeon.”

You took a step back, the moment of closeness slipping away. “I should get going. Take care, Hongjoong. And you too, Soo Yeon.”

“Goodbye, Y/N,” Hongjoong said, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer.

I'll be coming to your house later, his eyes said.

And I'll be waiting for you, Kim Hongjoong, you answered, before turning around and walking away.

You wondered if you would ever see the man you loved again. Because if he wasn't fast enough, all he would see was your dead body on the cold floor.

The clock you'd usually hear ticking in the background now lay broken on the floor, just like everything else in this godforsaken home.

In his rage this morning, Siwoo had left nothing, beating your home and your body until nothing but a mess was left behind.

Quietly, you sat in the corner of the room, your breath shallow and uneven. You waited.

And while you did, you asked yourself one last question: how would you face your death?

Would you face it fiercely, staring it directly in the eye, brave and unwavering? The thought appealed to you, the idea of going down with defiance and dignity. But the truth was, you didn't feel brave. You felt small and terrified, a helpless pawn in a cruel game, played by a man who created his own evil rules. The bruises on your body, the scars on your soul, they only told a story of survival, not of courage.

Would you cry, beg for mercy while already knowing that there was nothing saving you from this cruel fate? Your tears had dried up long ago, replaced by a numbing acceptance. You had begged before, pleaded for mercy in both whispers and screams, but Siwoo's cruelty knew no bounds. He thrived on your pain, feeding on your despair. You learned that begging would only fuel his sadistic pleasure.

Or would you smile and take its hand, leaving this world knowing that this life was all you had, that there was no use grieving it no more? This life, filled with suffering and loss, had hardly been spent well. But in the midst of all the darkness, there were fleeting moments of light - memories of laughter with your sisters, the warmth of your mother's embrace, the gentle kindness of Hongjoong. Perhaps those moments were enough to justify a smile, a final act of defiance against a life that had sought to break you.

There was no time for an answer. The door creaked open, and Siwoo stepped in, his eyes cold and merciless. 

You could almost feel death’s cold breath on your neck with his arrival. 

He approached slowly, savouring the fear he thought he saw in your eyes. "Ready for round two?" he sneered, raising a hand to strike you again.

But something inside you snapped. Perhaps it was the realisation that you had nothing left to lose, or perhaps it was the flicker of defiance that had always burned within you, hidden beneath layers of pain and submission. As his hand came down, you moved.

With a speed and strength born of desperation, you grabbed the broken clock from the floor and swung it at him. The sound of shattering glass and metal was followed by his roar of pain as the clock connected with his head. He stumbled back, blood streaming down his face, his eyes wide with shock.

“You bitch!” he screamed, lunging at you. But you were ready. You dodged his attack and grabbed a shard of broken glass from the floor. The sharp edge bit into your palm, but you didn't care. You had only one thought: survival.

As he came at you again, you thrust the glass into his side. He howled in agony, doubling over. You didn't stop. You couldn't stop. You pulled the glass out and stabbed him again, and again, each thrust fueled by years of pent-up fear, anger, and pain.

He fell to the floor, clutching at his wounds, his breath coming in ragged gasps. You stood over him, your chest heaving, blood dripping from your hands. For a moment, you simply watched him, your heart pounding in your ears.

“Y/N,” he rasped, his voice weak and broken. “Please…”

But there was no mercy left in you. You raised the glass one final time and- 

A hand grabbed yours. You immediately knew it wasn't your husband's, because he would never touch you like this, all soft and careful.

“Y/N,” the voice said, “Don't do it. Don't ever be like him.”

He gently pried the glass shard from your hand, his touch tender but firm. You fell into his arms, the weight of everything crashing down on you at once. His embrace was warm and comforting, a stark contrast to the violence you had just endured. He held you close, murmuring soothing words you couldn't quite make out over the sound of your own sobs.

“It's okay, it's over,” he whispered, his hand stroking your hair. “I'm here now.”

You clung to him, your tears soaking into his shirt. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a glimmer of hope. Hongjoong was here. Your Hongjoong was here. You weren't alone anymore.

It could've been the end, but the moment was short-lived. 

Siwoo, with a last surge of strength, lunged at you both. His fist connected with Hongjoong's face, sending him sprawling to the floor. His punches were relentless, each blow harder than the last, and you screamed for him to stop. But he wouldn't, he couldn't. He was beyond reason, lost in his own madness. Siwoo turned to you, his eyes blazing with fury. He grabbed you by the hair, yanking you to your feet.

“You think you can get away with this?” he snarled. “You're nothing but a woman, Y/N. My woman! I can do whatever I want with you!”

You struggled relentlessly against his grip, the pain in your scalp sharp and blinding. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hongjoong trying to get up, blood trickling from his nose. Siwoon turned his attention towards your lover.

In that split second, you remembered the gun. The one Siwoo had bought. It was in the bedroom, just a few steps away. You had to get to it. You had to end this.

With a surge of adrenaline, you twisted in Siwoo's grasp, breaking free. You stumbled towards the bedroom, your heart pounding in your chest. You could hear Siwoo's footsteps behind you, his curses filling the air.

You burst into the bedroom and saw the gun on the nightstand. Your hands trembled as you grabbed it, turning just in time to see Siwoo barreling towards you, yanking Hongjoong with him. You raised the gun, your finger now laying directly on the trigger.

“Get away from him!” you screamed, your voice shaking.

Siwoo paused, a twisted grin spreading across his face. “You think you can scare me with that?”

Your hands steadied, and you took a deep breath. You locked eyes with your man for a second. “You're right, Hongjoong. I'm not like him. I'm worse.”

The first shot rang out, deafening in the small room. Siwoo's eyes widened in shock as the bullet hit him. You didn't stop. You couldn't. You fired again, and again, each shot a release of years of pain and fear and rage.

Siwoo collapsed to the floor, his body twitching one last time, blood pooling around him. You stood over him, the gun still in your hands, your breath coming in ragged gasps.

He was dead. You dropped the gun and turned to Hongjoong, who was struggling to sit up. You rushed to his side, cradling his face in your hands.

“Are you okay?” you whispered, tears streaming down your face.

He nodded weakly, his eyes filled with pain but also relief. “I am. But you aren't.”

It wasn't a question, yet you shook your head. You laughed, and Hongjoong looked at you like you were crazy. Maybe you were. 

“I've never felt this good,” you whispered, “because now I can do this.”

Careful to not hurt him further, you took his face into your hands. He was all bloody, but nonetheless beautiful.

And then, you pressed your lips onto his, desperate and hungry and so, so much more.

Hongjoong responded, his arms wrapping around you despite the pain. He held you close, pouring all his love and reassurance into the kiss. When you finally pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, both of you breathing heavily.

But as the adrenaline faded, reality started to set in. The room was a mess, the evidence of the struggle all around you. The sight of Siwoo's lifeless body, the blood on the floor, and the gun still warm in your hand triggered a rising panic within you.

You started to hyperventilate, your breath coming in shallow, rapid gasps. “What have I done? Hongjoong, what have I done?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Hongjoong cupped your face in his hands, trying to calm you down. “Y/N, look at me. Focus on me. We need to think clearly.”

But it was too late. The full weight of what had just happened crashed down on you. You screamed, a raw, primal sound that echoed through the house. You fell to the floor, clutching your head, rocking back and forth as the horror of the situation consumed you.

Hongjoong knelt beside you, trying to soothe you, but his own panic was beginning to surface. “Y/N, please, we need to stay calm. We need to make a plan.”

His words barely registered through the fog that clouded your brain. Your cries grew louder, more desperate, as you struggled to comprehend the violence you had just unleashed.

“My angel, my love”, he pleaded with you, “listen to me. You have to listen to what I-”

In the distance, you both heard the sound of approaching footsteps and voices. Many approaching footsteps and noises. The shots had already alerted the people, and they were coming to investigate. The panic in Hongjoong's eyes matched your own as he realised the danger you were in.

“Y/N, listen to me,” he said urgently, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you lightly to get your attention. “We don't have much time. They're coming.”

Through your tears, you managed to focus on him. “What do we do, Hongjoong? What do we do?!”

His mind raced as he formulated a plan. It was desperate and dangerous, but it was the only way he could think to protect you. He picked up the gun and looked at you with a pained expression. “Y/N, I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?”

You nodded without hesitation. “I-i do, Joongie. Of course I do! But don't you dare try to endang-”

Before you could protest further, he aimed the gun right at your leg and pulled the trigger. The pain was immediate and excruciating, a burning agony that shot through your body. You screamed, collapsing to the floor, clutching your wounded leg.

Just a moment later, numerous people burst through the door, their eyes widening at the violent scene before them. Siwoo's body on the floor, you bleeding and crying, and Hongjoong holding the gun.

“What have you done?” you cried out, not even realising this sent off a completely wrong message to all the surrounding people. 

What you meant was why, why would he ever sacrifice himself like that.

Why?

Why? 

But all the mob heard was you screaming in anger at the man who just supposedly killed your husband, and now tried to shoot you.

Why, you wanted to scream. At whom you weren't too sure; at the universe, at God, at Hongjoong himself.

And as the angry mob launched at him, as multiple people were surrounding you and the lifeless corpse of your former husband, all you could think about was how not one, but two men lost their lives today.

Your abuser, and your lover.

And in the middle of it there was a woman who wept for them both, once out of sheer, unexplainable happiness, and once at the loss of the man whom she could now never hold in her arms again.

Part 2 here.

Lose My Breath

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

Warning: Smut, Mentions of Blood, Death, Gutwrenching Heartbreak, Angst [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

Word Count: 9k

Commissioned By: @imperfectlyperfectprincess1

Everything Taglist: @wife2straykids @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon @dwaekkiiracha @rylea08 @satosugu4l @iovecb97 @lordmaahes-nsc @sailorkoss @minh0scat @pixie0627 @50-husbands @jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog @joyofbebbanburg @number1jeonginstan @skzooluvr @jisunglyricist @ambersnowxxx @stay-tiny-things @thegingerthatwaited

@silly250 @tsunderelino @1810cl @anskiiz @ayyonoona

@31maze13

“You're coming! And that's final!” Lisa yells at you, yanking your arm to pull you off the couch.

“I just got broken up with, Lisa.” You pout. “I wanna stay in my sweatpants, eating ice cream while I cry at sad movies.”

“Y/N… babe, you've been doing that for like a month now. I need my best friend back. I need you to get back out there and back on dicks, or whatever the saying is.” She smiles.

You can't help but laugh at her, she's such an idiot sometimes. You roll your eyes, pulling your arm away from her and head to your room. “Where are you going?” She yells worriedly.

“To get ready. Where else?” You yell back, slinking into your closet. So many options but none that you truly wanted to wear. You and Jaehyun had been together for over a year and you truly thought you were going to be with him forever, but he and his big dick apparently had other plans. Lisa was right, it had been over a month and you really did need to get out and stop sulking around the house. It wasn't doing you any good.

“Wear something sexy!” Lisa yells from the living room. You groan as you move over to your section of sexy dresses, deciding to go with a black one that hugged you just right, while also showing off the perfect amount of skin. You weren't planning to hook up with anyone tonight, but free drinks were always welcome. You quickly applied some light makeup before grabbing your shoes, leaving your hair alone to do its thing.

“Wow!” Lisa exclaims. “You look even hotter than usual.” She grins.

“Yeah, yeah. Let's go.” You chuckle, pulling her out of the house. Once the two of you arrived at the club, you were already ready to go home. You looked around the dance floor and it was filled with people. The place was absolutely packed. You and Lisa weave through the crowd, heading straight for the bar. Lisa orders a bunch of shots for the two of you, sliding four in front of you. She picks up one shot, grinning at you. “Bottoms up!” She yells. You clink your glasses together, downing the shot quickly. The liquor burns the back of your throat on the way down, but it's so good. You can already feel your buzz starting to kick in after your third shot, and then your fourth, you were ready to dance. You pull Lisa to the dance floor, the two of you dancing together, swaying your hips to the beat. You can feel the bass thumping through the floor as you let the alcohol take over your body. It was such a freeing feeling for you.

Lisa smiles at you as you feel a pair of hands slide onto your hips. “Mind if I dance with you?” Someone whispers in your ear. You turn your head, seeing one of the most handsomest men you have ever seen in your life. His dark brown hair, his brown eyes, his dazzling smile. You were hooked on him immediately and you didn't even know his name.

“I'd love that.” You say back, he moves his body closer to yours, pressing his crotch against your ass. He wraps his arms around you, the both of you moving perfectly to the music, it was like your bodies connected like a puzzle. You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck, he smiles at you, leaning in close to you, his lips brushing against your ear.

“Do you know who I am?” He whispers, pulling back so you can see his face again.

“Should I?” You ask, with a slight laugh.

“Nope.” He grins. “Wanna get a drink?”

You nod your head and he grabs your hand, pulling you through the crowd of people. You look back seeing Lisa dancing with another guy, cheering you on. You felt so giddy as he sat beside you at the bar, his hand resting on your exposed thigh. He was so handsome, you were sure he had to be a movie star or something.

‘What would you like to drink?” He asks.

“Two shots of tequila, please!” You smile. He looks at the bartender, holding up four fingers. “Four shots of tequila.” He yells. The bartender nods his head, beginning to pour your shots.

“What's your name?” He asks you, his hand still resting on your thigh.

“Y/N.” You smile. “What's your name?” You ask.

“You really don't know?” He laughs. You shake your head. “I really don't.”

“Han Jisung.” He says, looking at you with one eyebrow raised, like he's waiting for something to click.

“It's nice to meet you, Han Jisung.” You giggle, leaning in a little closer.

“You can call me Han. Or Jisung. Whatever.” He says, also leaning in a little closer. Your eyes are locked to each other.

“Okay, Han.” You partially whisper, your eyes locked with his.

“Okay, Y/N.” He replies. The bartender sets the shots directly in front of you, but you just can't seem to tear your eyes away from his. You wanted him so fucking badly.

“You guys gonna take these shots?” The bartender asks.

You both come out of your almost spell, smiling at each other, you both grab a glass, clinking them together before taking your shot, and same with the last one. You set down your glass, Han stares at you.

“You wanna get out of here?” He asks. Excitement fires up in your stomach as you eagerly nod your head. Han holds his hand out for yours. You grab onto it, searching for Lisa. You find her dancing but watching you. You mouth to her your leaving, she sends you two thumbs up before Han whisks you away and out of the club. He pulls you onto the sidewalk, it's dark, barely anyone else is out there. He pulls you in closely, his hand caressing your cheek as he leans in. He gently presses his lips to yours, making the kiss slow, passionate and meaningful. But you want more. You slip your tongue into his mouth, he welcomes the harshness of your lips against his. His hand moves to the back of your head, yanking a clump of hair, making you moan into his mouth.

You're so fucking horny, you needed him now. Han pulls away from you, catching his breath. “My hotel is 3 blocks away.” He points in the direction.

“Let's go.” You smile. Hand in hand the two of you quickly make your way to his hotel. You just knew this was going to be a night you were going to remember. The two of you scurry into the lobby of the hotel, sneaking past the front desk heading towards the elevator. Han presses the button and you both stand there in silence waiting for it to come down. Your body is jittery and needy as you wait, you just wanted him to rip your dress right off of you and do whatever he wanted. You let out a sigh of relief as the elevator doors open up, Han pulls you inside quickly pressing the 15th floor, urging the doors to close. When they do, he turns and smiles at you. It feels like the elevator is spinning but before you know it, you're being pulled towards his room. He puts his key against the lock, automatically unlocking the door. He pulls you inside, locking the deadbolt and top lock.

“You think someone is gonna break in?” You giggle as he turns back around to you.

“I just don't want to be interrupted.” He smiles, walking up to you. You back up, falling back onto the bed. You move yourself up further onto the bed.

“Are you on birth control?” He asks. You nod your head. “IUD.” You whisper.

“Good.” He smiles.

Han crawls on the bed, lifting up your dress. You help him, taking it off, tossing it to the floor. He slowly pulls your panties from your body, dropping them wherever. You help him out by discarding your bra, exposing your breasts. Han spreads your legs, memorizing every curve and crevice of your body. He licks his lips and smiles as he moves towards your open legs, your pussy already dripping wet. He lowers his head slowly, spreading your lips open with his fingers before licking a slow strip up your clit. He moves his tongue slightly, letting the tip give your clit a few small kitten licks. Your fingers slide into his hair, gripping it as you let out a loud moan.

“Fuck" you cry. It’s been too long since you’ve had a tongue down there.

He begins to move faster, your hips circling with his tongue, your body urging you to get off. You can't help but to grind yourself into his face.

“Shit that feels so fucking good" you cry. Han picks up his pace, moving his tongue in every direction, your orgasm building fast.

“Please don’t stop. Just like that” you scream. "Don't stop. Oh god."

Your breath hitches as his hands grip your thighs, fingers digging in as he steadies himself in-between your legs.

“I’m.. I’m gonna cum" you cry, your hands moving from his hair to the bed sheets, gripping them so tightly your knuckles turning white. You move your hips faster, needing your orgasm to take you over now. A few more licks from Han's delightful tongue and your orgasm rushed through your entire body. Han moves from between your legs, but you don’t move. You can't. You lay there attempting to catch your breath as your chest heaves up and down, no words or thoughts forming.

You barely manage to open your eyes enough to make eye contact with Han. He smiles at the sight of you. You watch him lick his lips, lapping up any of your excess fluids. “Do you need a few minutes or can I fuck you now?” He asks, a slight eagerness in his voice.

“Fuck me” you breathe.

You maintain eye contact as he strips his shirt off, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him. You feel yourself almost ready to drool, after Han takes off his pants and boxers, allowing his large, thick and veiny cock to spring free.

Han smirks as he looks down at his very erect cock before looking back at you. “It's not going to suck itself.” He says.

A wide grin appears on your face as you sit up and crawl towards him. You slide off the bed and directly onto your knees and open your mouth up widely, taking in as much of him as you could. He begins starting slowly, gently thrusting himself in and out of your mouth. With every pump, his thrusts become harder and faster as he snaps his hips harshly. Tears begin forming in your eyes as he rams his cock down your throat.

Almost as quickly as he began, he pulls himself out of your mouth, stumbling back while catching his breath.

"I can't cum yet." He says, pulling you up off the floor before pushing you back on the bed. He quickly grabs a condom, rolling it on his cock.

He spreads your legs before lining himself up with your entrance. Slowly he pushes his large cock inside you, stretching your walls. He gives you almost no time to adjust, as he begins slowly pumping in and out of you.

His thrusts are slow but powerful, making you shiver every time he thrusts himself in, hitting your G spot without a problem. Without a word, his pumps quicken as he consistently rams himself into your dripping pussy, fucking you harder.

Han places his hand in-between your legs, spreading your lips to place his thumb on the exact spot you needed it. He begins rubbing you as he continues to fuck you. After a few more thrusts and quick circles from his thumb, a quick and sudden orgasm washes over you, pulsating through your body, leaving you breathless.

Han slams himself into you, and a few hard, and fast thrusts later he cums into the condom. After milking himself dry, he half collapses on top of you, as you both try to catch your breath. He rolls off of you, offering the shower for you to go and clean yourself up. You happily take the offer, enjoying the large shower and different soaps.

“Come lay down.” Han says, patting the spot beside him. He tosses you a shirt to put on before you crawl into bed with him, and you both quickly doze off with his arm draped over you.

When you woke up, you glanced at the clock, 4:53 in the morning. You roll out of the bed, quietly grabbing your belongings as Han lays in bed, peacefully sleeping, sprawled out on the bed. You walk over to the desk, writing a small note, thanking him for an amazing night, and apologizing for having to leave before he wakes up. You quickly slip on your underwear, take off the shirt he gave you, and put your dress on instead. You're holding your shoes as you sneak out of the room, rushing down the hallway towards the elevator. You felt like a woman of the night, sneaking out of a hotel room in the early hours of the morning. But you didn't get any form of payment so technically, you weren't. The judgment you could feel from the front desk workers said otherwise though.

You walk out of the hotel, waving down a cab. You get in, telling him your address to head home. You had an amazing night, but the only thing you regret about the entire thing is that you didn't leave him your number, but if it's meant to be then you both would find your way back to each other. You arrived home, paying your fare and heading into your building. You go straight into the shower, scrubbing your body, washing your hair until you finally feel clean. You dry yourself off, slipping into your pj's before crawling into your bed, drifting off to sleep very easily.

Later on in the day, you wake up, unfortunately. You really wanted to sleep longer but you glanced at your phone, seeing it was already 1pm, and you had about a million messages from Lisa. You opened up your chat, seeing her asking about your night and begging you to tell her if you hooked up with the man from the club or not. She was so desperate for you to get over Jaehyun and get under someone else. You knew she was going to be proud of you for actually doing it. You pressed the call button, and you swore the phone didn't even ring before she answered it.

“What happened!?” She yells. “Did you hook up? Please tell me you hooked up with him.” She gasps.

“Jesus, hello to you too.” You chuckle. “Yes we hooked up.” You say, thankful she can't see the large smile on your face.

“Yes! You slut! I love it!” She screams. “Let's go for lunch.” She suggests.

“I'm so nauseous.” You laugh. “Too much tequila.”

“We need tacos.” She says.

“Oh fuck, yes. Let's meet at Las Palapas.” You say.

“See you there in 30 minutes.” She screeches, hanging up the phone. You groaned loudly. Why did you suggest that? You just wanted to lay in bed and die, but instead you got up and headed to your closet, putting on leggings and a shirt, throwing your hair up and slipping on some tennis shoes. You grab your bag, breathing through your nausea as you head out to meet Lisa.

The tacos and margaritas definitely helped your hangover, you felt better as you and Lisa headed back to your apartment. She was trying to convince you to go out again that night and you weren't sure if you were gonna be up for it.

“You said you wanted to run into him again! What if you do tonight?” She squeals.

“I don't think I can.” You laugh. “I need to go to bed. I feel like a bag of shit.” You groan.

“Okay okay. I get it. Let's go watch some movies and eat some treats? Mhm?” She grins.

“That's perfect.” You say, linking your arms with hers as you head back to your apartment with your best friend.

**

A few months later, you're sitting in your bathroom, your entire body shaking as you wait. You look at the timer on your phone, 30 seconds left. You had been so nauseous for months, cramping, tender breasts. You didn't get your period anymore with your IUD, but you and Han had used a condom as well, there's no way you could be… right? Your phone beeps, telling you the 3 minutes is up. You pick up the small stick, turning it over. Tears instantly fall down your cheeks as you see the two lines, clear as day on the test.

“How am I pregnant?” You cry, setting the test back on the counter. You drop your head into your hands, sobbing. How the fuck were you supposed to get into contact with Han to let him know? You grab your phone, still sobbing as you scroll through your contacts, looking for Lisa's number. Your brain was scrambled, you could barely think. You scroll down, seeing a name you recognized but didn't know you had in your phone.

“Han Jisung.” You whisper. You click on the contact, placing the phone up to your ear.

“Hey there stranger.” He laughs, answering the phone. “It's been months. Didn't you know I put my number in your phone?” He asks.

You sniffle. “Han.” You cry.

“What happened? What's wrong?” He asks.

“I'm-I'm pregnant.” You whisper.

The call is silent. Han doesn't say anything. “Are you there?” You ask.

“We used a condom. You said you had an IUD.” He partially yells. “Or did you lie to me?” He asks.

“I didn't lie to you.” You say. “I do have an IUD. I don't know how this happened.” You cry.

“Do you even know who I am? This will ruin my fucking life and my goddamn reputation!” He yells. “Fuck!”

“It's not my fault! Maybe your condom was faulty!” You snap back.

“Yeah well we'll get this shit taken care of.” He snaps, hanging up the phone. You sit there still crying and now shaking even harder. What did he mean about his reputation? You click on Google on your phone, searching his name.

“Han Jisung… member of popular k-pop group Stray Kids…” You murmur. “Oh fuck. He's really fucking famous.” You gasp.

What the hell were you gonna do?

You waited for days. You waited for something, anything really from Han. But nothing came. Until the fourth day, when you had a knock at your door. You open it, and the man standing there, shoves an envelope at you before walking away. He said absolutely nothing to you.

You closed the door, walking to your kitchen table to open it. Pulling out a letter practically demanding you to come to Korea to have your IUD safely removed, while also having a DNA test done on your unborn child. You emptied the rest of the contents, dropping a one way plane ticket onto the table.

One that left tomorrow. You truly did not have much time to make your decision but you absolutely wanted to prove to Han and his agency that he was the father of your child. You hadn't been with anyone else since Jaehyun and that timeline just doesn't fit.

You left the papers down on the table, heading to your bedroom. You went into your closet, pulling out your suitcase, packing anything and everything you could think of that you'd need. You didn't know how long you would be there but you were going to make damn sure that Han was present for everything for his child.

“I'm gonna miss you.” Lisa sighs, hugging you tightly. “If you need anything and I mean anything, call me. And I'll be on the first flight there.” She finishes, pulling away from you.

“Thank you. I'll keep you updated on the shit show that is my life.” You sigh, grabbing your luggage and passport, heading into the airport. You sit in your assigned seat, anxiously waiting for the plane to take off. You feel like your heart is going to beat out of your chest as it begins to move. It's only a 9 hour flight. You could do this. You got this.

And you did. You slept almost the entire flight except when it was time to eat. You ate your meals and snacks before dozing back off again. The flight definitely didn't feel like 9 hours, it really only felt like a quick few hour flight and before you knew it the plane touched down in Korea, and you were ready to prove you weren't lying about anything.

Once you were off the plane, You grabbed your checked bag and headed out towards the doors of the airport. You almost missed him, the man standing, smiling holding up a sign with your name on it.

“Hi.” You smile. He nods to you, reaching for your luggage, taking it from you while motioning you to follow him. You do, looking around at the beautiful building, and all the gorgeous people who surrounded you. The man leads you to a car, opening the door for you before he puts your luggage in the trunk and then gets into the driver's seat, taking you away from the airport and hopefully to a hotel, where you could shower and rest before getting into it with everyone. But apparently that was wishful thinking.

The driver pulls up outside of a hospital. You knew it. They wanted to try and prove you were lying immediately. Jokes on them though. You take a deep breath, walking inside the building and immediately you're swarmed by 3 or 4 nurses, dragging you towards the elevator, everyone talking at once so you can't understand anything that's being said. Once you're in the elevator, you're taken up to the 4th floor. The nurses get out of the elevator, making space for a man to walk to you. You step off the elevator, he extends his hand for you to shake.

“Hi Y/N.” A man says. “Welcome.”

“Are you… JYP?” You ask.

“I'm not. I'm his assistant, Joshua.” He says. “And I want to apologize on behalf of JYP for this. It may seem unnecessary to you but this cannot get out. It's important we have all the correct information to be able to spin it properly.” He says. He brings you to a hospital room, guiding you inside. “Please, change into this gown and the doctors will get started soon.”

You do as you're told, wandering into the bathroom to get changed. You come out, placing your clothes on a chair before climbing into the bed.

“Where's Han?” You ask, just as Joshua was leaving the room.

“Han will be involved if the paternity comes back as his child.” He says, getting on the elevator.

“Hi, Y/N. I'm doctor Kim. I'll be removing the IUD for you and Dr. Lee will be doing the paternity testing.”

A nurse comes over, beginning an IV in your arm. “What is this?” You ask.

“Just something to help keep you calm.” Dr. Kim smiles through his mask. “Don't worry, the baby will be perfectly safe.”

The nurse hooks you up to the machines, you can feel the drugs beginning to help. You're relaxed and feeling so good. You barely feel Dr. Kim doing what he needs to do, you actually doze off for a minute while he works on you. When he's finished, your body feels weird but before you can ask him anything about it, another doctor walks in, sith a large thin needle.

“Hello, Y/N. I'm Dr. Lee.” He smiles.

“What is that?” You ask, feeling a little anxious about the big needle.

“This is for paternity testing. What I'm going to do is insert this needle into your abdomen, and take out some amniotic fluid, for the testing. We've already collected Han’s sample to compare it. So we'll have your results in a few hours.” He explains.

You nod your head, closing your eyes tightly. “You're going to feel a little poke.” He murmurs, inserting the needle into your stomach. You gasp loudly, wanting, no, needing it to be over quickly. Seconds later he pulls the needle out of your stomach, leaving the room with your sample. You lay there, breathing. In a few hours, they would all find out the truth and you couldn't wait. Your eyes begin to get heavy. It had been a long and stressful day,especially with the time difference. It didn't take you long to doze off, peacefully. Unfortunately you only got to sleep for a few hours before the doctors came back into your room.

“We have some news.” Dr. Kim begins. “While taking out the IUD was successful, there seems to have been a few complications. Which means you'll need to be on bed rest.” He explains.

“For how long?” You whisper.

“At least 2 months. Maybe three.” He announces.

“I'm here alone! I don't know, like, anyone! How am I supposed to be on bed rest here?” You cry. “Just let me fly home and I'll be on bed rest, I promise.” You say.

“You can't fly, Y/N.” Dr. Kim states. “Complete bed rest. Only getting up to use the bathroom. That's it.”

“Will it be here?” You ask, nervously.

“No.” Joshua says, stepping into the room. “You'll be moved to Han's dorm, with his band mates.” He says.

“Does this mean…” You trail off.

“Han is the father, yes.” Joshua sighs. You could see it in his eyes that he hated the fact that it came back that Han is the father.

“A nurse will be coming by with a wheelchair shortly.” He murmurs, looking down at his phone. “I have to take this. But I'll be waiting downstairs for you.” He finishes walking away.

You breathe a sigh of relief. There. Now he would know that you weren't lying. This really was his child. You knew he was likely scared. Hell, you were fucking terrified. But you were going to figure it out because that's what you do. A few minutes later, a smiling nurse walks into your room, pushing a wheelchair. “Let's get you dressed and then you can be on your way.” She says, helping you off the bed and into the bathroom. You were very slow moving, your body was sore, you felt weak. You really just wanted to sleep. You were nervous to go to Han's dorm. He reacted poorly to the news of your pregnancy, but you hoped that now that he's had time to process the information, he would be more excited.

Joshua stands beside a car as the nurse wheels you up to him. You slowly get up, sliding into the back seat of the car as Joshua gets into the front to drive.

“What about my suitcase?” You ask, remembering the man who picked you up from the airport only hours ago.

“It's already at the dorm.” Joshua replies, his eyes staying on the road. You nod your head as you watch out the window, admiring the beautiful structures of the city, watching the people as he goes down each road. With every turn of the car, you got more nervous. Soon you'd be facing Han and you honestly had no idea what you were going to say to him.

Joshua stops the car in front of a building, coming around the side to open your door and help you out of the car. “Come on, you heard what the doctor said. You have to stay in bed.” He says, helping you up the stairs to the door. He opens the door, revealing seven men sitting in the living room talking. As soon as you walk in, the entire room goes silent. They all sit and stare at you, until one of them gets up, a large smile on his face.

“You must be Y/N.” He grins, pulling you in for a hug. “I'm Chan. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.” He says.

“Yeah, yeah, we can do this later. She needs to be in bed.” Joshua grumbles, guiding you to a room. He opens the door, revealing a very plain room with a queen size bed in the middle. Your suitcase was emptied and put away, all your clothes either hung up in the closet or were put away in the drawers. Luckily you were still wearing comfy clothes, and had absolutely no ambition to change, so you crawled into bed, getting cozy under the blankets.

“I've left my number on your bedside table should you need anything. Or any of the boys know how to reach me. Don't hesitate to call.” He says, giving you a half smile before leaving the room.

You roll over facing the wall. You close your eyes, but before you can fall asleep the door creaks open. You turn your head to look and see Han standing there.

“Han.” You whisper, sitting up the best you can.

“Don't.” He harshly snaps. “I know you fucking planned this. You knew who I was didn't you? You're just some low class whore looking for a payday, huh?” He spits.

“I didn't know who you were!” You yell. You can feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. You didn't want to cry. Not in front of him. “I swear to god, I didn't plan this.”

“Yeah, we'll see about that. I don't want this kid, so tomorrow I'll have someone take you to the clinic and get it taken care of. Then you can go back home and we can fucking forget about it all.” He says.

“What?” You gasp. “No, absolutely not. I'm not getting rid of our baby.” You whisper.

“Don't. Don't say our baby. It's not ours if I don't want it. 9am, tomorrow.” He says, walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him. You weren't sure how, but you were going to protect your child, no matter what.

You cried yourself to sleep that night. You didn't want the next day to come. You didn't want Han to barge into the room demanding that you go to a clinic. So the next morning when there was a faint knock at your door, your stomach dropped and anxiety flowed through your entire body. The door opens, and Chan's head peeks around the corner.

“Hi.” He smiles. “Han has a schedule today, so he's not here. He said you wanted to go to the clinic today and asked me to take you.” He whispers.

You sit up in bed, shaking your head. “He wants me to go to the clinic today.” You say. “I don't want to.”

“He wants you to… get…” he trails off. You nod your head, crying again.

“I know you don't know me, but I know Han.” He says, walking into the room. “He's scared. He's terrified about what this means for the group and him as an artist. If it gets out it has the potential to ruin him. And I know he's not handling it very well. But if you need anything. One of us will always be home. Please just yell out if you need anything. Okay?” He says.

“Thank you.” You whisper. Chan leaves the room, and you curl back up in bed, feeling a little more relieved, and like someone finally has your back. A little bit later, you decide to get up and go to the bathroom. The only problem is, you weren't sure where the bathroom was. You were sure it wouldn't be an issue for you to get up and wander around to find the bathroom. You really need to stretch your legs, have a shower, and also eat something. You crawled out of bed, shuffling your feet to the dresser to grab some new clothes before heading to the door. You opened it a crack, peering out to see if anyone was there. But there was no one. You go into the hallway, walking slowly and carefully, looking in each door. All bedrooms.

“What are you doing?” You hear from behind you. You jump at the sound of the voice, turning around.

“I was just looking for the bathroom.” You whisper to the unknown man.

“Oh.” He smiles. “It's this way.” He says, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Thank you.” You say, walking towards him.

“I'm Changbin. It's nice to meet you, Y/N.” He smiles.

“It's nice to meet you too. Thank you for your help.” You say.

“It's not a problem. Let me know if you need anything else.” He says, walking away. You walk into the bathroom, placing your clothes on the counter before you start the shower.

Once you were done, you felt so much better. You dried yourself off, got dressed and placed your clothes back into your room before heading towards where you thought the kitchen was.

You see Changbin again with another man, who looks at you with wide eyes. “What are you doing up? Bed rest means bed rest!” The man says, scolding you.

“I'm hungry.” You say. You felt embarrassed, even though you shouldn't. You couldn't help it.

“Here, on the couch. We'll order or make you something.” He says. “I'm Jeongin by the way.”

“Thank you.” You smile, settling down on the couch. Jeongin hands you the remote before heading back to the kitchen with Changbin. As you scrolled through shows you could hear them whispering about neither of them knowing how to cook.

“Let's just order her something.” Jeongin says. Changbin agrees.

You pick a show, settling in on the couch. 20 minutes later there's a knock at the door. Changbin rushes towards the door, answering it, grabbing a large bag of food from the delivery driver before paying him. He sets it down on the coffee table in front of you, grinning widely.

“Let's eat!” He exclaims as Jeongin comes to sit on the couch as well. The three of you eat your food, laughing at the TV show while enjoying your delicious food. You had almost forgotten about what Han had wanted you to do this morning. A few hours later the front door opens, and Han walks in.

He looks at you, Jeongin and Changbin hanging out and immediately looks displeased. “The fuck is going on?” He asks.

“We were just hanging out with her. She needed to eat.” Changbin says, shrugging her shoulders.b

“Did you do what I told you to do today?” Han asks you.

“No.” You whisper.

“What the fuck, Y/N!” He snaps. “I asked you to do one thing! And this one thing would take care of the whole fucking situation you got us into!” Han spits.

“Han…” Jeongin says. He ignores him.

“Last time I checked, it takes two to make a fucking baby.” You snap back. “I'm sorry you don't want it. I'm sorry that you think I'm purposefully trying to ruin your life, and I'm sorry that I had to come all the way here for this shit. Believe me I tried to get the doctors to let me go back home so I wouldn't be a burden to you but I can't. I'm stuck here, where I'm clearly unwanted, with a baby that's unwanted by its father. You don't think that's hard on me?” You scream.

Hans' face drops. He stares at the floor for a second before his hateful look is back. “Whatever. Just stay out of my way. You guys can look after her then.” He says, storming out of the living room.

The hormones are too strong. You begin to sob on the couch, and it was awkward. Changbin and Jeongin didn't know what to do. They look at each other, worried. Until the front door opens again, in walking more people you didn't recognize and Chan.

“Why's she crying?” Chan asks. “What happened?”

“Han happened.” Changbin sighs. “He's really fucking mean.”

“Y/N.” Chan sighs. “Don't listen to him.”

“Yeah, don't listen to him. He's an idiot.” Another one says. “I'm Felix. This is Hyunjin, Seungmin and Minho.” He says, introducing the rest of them.

You wipe away your tears, trying to force a smile, waving to them all.

“I know what we need.” Felix pipes up again. He looks at Changbin and smiles.

“Movie night.” They both speak at the same time. Seconds later everyone is rushing around, a few leaving to go get snacks, others debating on which movie to watch. They made you feel so included, asking you what movie you wanted, what snacks you wanted. They included you in conversations, even if you had no idea what they were talking about. They were all so fun and kind, and you were starting to feel better about the entire situation.

Everyday you were feeling better and better about where you were and who you were with. At least when Han wasn't around. One day Chan showed up at the dorm with a pen and a journal, to help you let out your anger and frustrations, especially since you couldn't do anything else. Over the next two months, your stomach grew, the baby started kicking and all the boys were so excited. Always touching your stomach to feel the kicks, they waited on you all the time, getting you whatever craving you were feeling that day. They were like the big brothers you never had but always wanted. You were happy, until Han came back home. And sometimes you were alone in the dorm when he was back and he was cold towards you, and if he spoke to you he was hurtful and rude.

Until one day he stopped saying mean things to you and he began being nicer. Everyday he came back home and smiled at you. He started helping you, even if you had asked one of the others to do it. He was present and different. It was like something suddenly changed. Han walked into the dorm, 3 months after you'd been there on bed rest, and he smiled at you. Like he had for the last few weeks and it was as gorgeous as ever.

“How um, how are you feeling?” He asks.

“I'm feeling okay.” You murmur.

“That's good. Oh, uh Joshua wanted me to let you know that you have an ultrasound next week. He said you can find out the sex of the baby.” He tells you.

You perk up. “Really? Oh I've been waiting for that.” You smile.

“Would I…be able to come?” He asks. “I'd like to find out too.”

“I thought you didn't want the baby.” You say. It still hurts to think about that. The fact that he so desperately wanted nothing to do with you or your child.

“I didn't… to be completely honest with you, I'm so fucking scared. I'm scared of what this means for me…for the group. I'm scared of everything. But I've been listening to the guys over the last few weeks, talking about you and the baby, gushing about what it's going to be like to have a baby at the dorm and how excited they are. So I started doing some research… and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry for the way I handled everything. Being scared isn't an excuse, I'm sure you're scared but I didn't think about you or how my actions and words affected you.” He says.

You want to believe him. You wanted things to be okay between the two of you but how could you? He'd been so nasty towards you and suddenly he comes back home apologizing and wanting to be involved? That scared you. What happens if he gets scared again and turns back into the nasty man he had been before?

“Is that why you've been so nice lately?” You ask. He nods his head. “I appreciate you saying that. I'm terrified and this hasn't been easy. But if you want to be involved, I need to know you're in it for the long haul. And you're not gonna switch up on me.” You say.

“I am. Totally and 100% I am in it. I won't go back.” He urges.

“And it's gonna take time.” You tell him.

“Whatever it takes.” He smiles.

The next week, Han is helping you down the stairs of the dorm, heading to the car for your appointment. He opens the car door for you, before rushing around to the other side to sit next to you in the back. You both buckle in as the driver takes off to the clinic.

“What do you think it'll be?” You ask Han as you lay on the bed waiting for the tech.

“Honestly I think it's gonna be a girl.” He laughs.

“So do I!” You say. “A healthy baby is the goal.”

“Absolutely.” Han smiles. “I promise you, Y/N. I'm gonna love that baby with everything I have.”

The technician walks into the room, greeting you both before getting to work. After taking all the necessary pictures, she looks at the two of you. “Would you like to know the gender?” She asks.

“Yes!” You both say.

“Okay.” She giggles. “Well… it looks like you're having a healthy little…. Girl! Congratulations.” She says.

“A girl.” You whisper. You look up at Han with tears in your eyes.

“A healthy baby girl.” He responds, placing a kiss on your forehead.

A little while later the two of you head back inside the dorm. Han helps you up the stairs, helping to guide you into the dorm, where six men stand around, eagerly anticipating the news.

“What is it!?” Jeongin yells.

“What are we having!?” Changbin asks, making you and Han laugh.

“We are proud to announce…” You pause, glancing over at Han.

“We're having a healthy baby… girl!” Han yells. The living room erupts into cheers as they all rush towards the two of you, congratulating you both. Everyone was so happy, until Chan rushed into the dorm. You turn to tell him the good news but he looks worried.

“What's wrong?” You ask.

“We've got a problem.” He sighs. “Somehow the news broke about Han becoming a dad. It's everywhere online. There's even pictures of the two of you.” He says, showing you both his phone. You see pictures of Han helping you to the car, your hand resting on your belly. Pictures of you both walking into the clinic, and walking out happy and excited.

“Who would do this?” You gasp.

“You'd be surprised how crazy fans get over their favs.” Felix mentions.

“What do we do?” You say, looking between Chan and Han.

Han looks at you and smiles. “It'll all be okay. I promise.” He says, squeezing your hand. You wanted to believe him, but you weren't sure if he even believed it.

Over the next few weeks, everything had gone downhill. Han was gone so much trying to figure out who leaked the story and how to handle everything. While you spent your days reading the comments online.

“What an ugly fucking bitch. How dare she trap hannie!”

“She must have drugged him! There's no way he'd willingly sleep with her.”

“She's totally just using him for his money. I bet the baby isn't even his!”

“If I see her out, I'll kill her myself!”

You spent your days crying over all the mean comments you kept receiving. You didn't know these people, how could they make such vile comments about you? They didn't know what really happened, not that they'd believe you anyways. Han constantly told you everyday to stay off the internet and not to read the comments. But you couldn't help it. You had never done anything to anyone, you couldn't wrap your head around what they were saying about you.

“Oh baby.” Han murmurs, walking into his room. He sees you sitting on his bed, tears in your eyes as you read the multiple death threats from the same person that managed to find your Instagram.

“This person wants me to die so badly.” You whimper.

“No baby, no. You can't be reading this stuff. Those people aren't fans. They're just people who can't be happy if we're happy.” He sighs.

“Are you happy?” You ask.

“Unbelievably happy. I promise you.” He smiles. “The reason I came in here was because I have good news.” He says, helping you and your belly out of the bed.

“What is it?” You sniffle.

“You are officially off bed rest!” He yells.

“Oh my god. Really!?” You exclaim. “Finally!” You were so happy, you were going fucking crazy being stuck in bed or on the couch for the last few months.

“So to celebrate, I thought we could go do some baby shopping?” He smiles. “We need a lot. And I didn't want to go get anything without you.”

“You're so sweet.” You pout. “Yes please! Let's go!” You say, ready to waddle out of the room. Han helps you slip on your comfiest shoes, before taking your hand in his, leading you out to the car.

The two of you head into the first store, where you pick out a crib, and a car seat. You walk down the street hand in hand, looking in the windows of other stores, cooing at the adorable baby girl clothes that were on display.

“Oh shoot.” Han says, feeling around his pants pocket. “I left something in the car. Stay here.” He smiles, placing a kiss on your lips. “I'll be right back.” You watch him run back down the street, not terribly far from where you were.

“It's you.” You hear from behind you. “The one who stole my man.” You turn around seeing a disgruntled woman standing in front of you.

“What?” You ask. Trying to wrap your brain around what was happening. But she gave you no time.

“He's mine!” She screams, lunging towards you. You feel a sharp, piercing pain in your stomach. Your mouth hangs open as you look down. She plunges the knife deeper into your stomach. You gasp for air as she twists it. You can hear Han screaming for you. He runs towards you, and the lady rips the knife out of your stomach, dropping it before taking off. You immediately collapse to the ground, blood spilling from your stomach, and seeping from your mouth.

“Y/N. Baby… breathe. Stay with me.” He begs. “Someone call an ambulance! Please!” He cries. “Someone help me! Please help me!” He screams, putting pressure on your wound.

It didn't take long for the ambulance to show up. They worked quickly as a bloody Han stood back, in shock. “We're losing her!” The paramedic yells. They swiftly put you in the back of the ambulance, Han climbing in after you. He holds your hand as they work on you.

“Please.” He cries. “Please save them… please don't let them die.”

“Sir. You need to wait in the waiting room.” The nurse urges him, as he tries to follow you into the emergency room. He stumbles back as he watches them roll you back and out of sight. He pulls out his phone, his hands covered in your almost dried blood. He dials the one number he knew would be able to get them all here.

“Chan.” He cries.

“Did you do the proposal? Did she say yes?” Chan asks.

Han had completely forgotten about the ring box that bulged out of his pocket now. Had he not forgotten it in the car, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Or had he brought you to the car with him, maybe you'd be wearing it right now. But he had a plan. He wanted it to be perfect and he hadn't wanted you to see what he was grabbing from the car.

“She… she was stabbed.” Han sobs. “T-They took her back… I don't know if she's alive. I don't know if my baby is alive.” He whispers.

“We're on our way.” Chan yells, hanging up the phone.

Only minutes later, seven men rush into the hospital, surrounding Han, who is sitting with his head in his hand, sobbing.

“What the fuck happened?” Changbin asks, sitting next to Han, putting his hand on his back.

“I forgot… the ring in the car. I ran back to go get it.” He sniffles. “She was waiting for me… I grabbed the box and looked back at her and someone stabbed her in the stomach.” He weeps.

They're all silent. No one knows what to say. They all know nothing they can say will make anything about this situation better. So they all sat in silence, just being there for him. Whatever he needed.

It took hours. Hours for someone to come and talk to Han to let him know what was going on.

“L/N Y/N.” The doctor yells. Han stands up, rushing to the doctor.

“Yes, how is she? How's my baby? Can I see them?” He asks.

The doctor takes his scrub cap off, looking down. “We took her into surgery. It was touch and go for a while. We delivered the baby… but there was nothing we could do. I'm so sorry.” He whispers.

Han drops to his knees, sobbing. “Please..what about Y/N.”

“There's a lot of internal damage. She's in a medically induced coma. We're not sure how it's going to play out. There's a 50/50 chance she'll survive.” The doctor says. “You can see her, if you want.” He says.

Han stands up, silently following the doctor to your room. He stands in the doorway, taking it all in. You're hooked up to every machine possible, one that's helping you breathe, one that's keeping track of your heart. He was dreading the day he had to tell you that your precious baby passed away. He walks into the room, sitting in the chair beside your bed. He grabs your hand crying as he squeezes it.

“Please be okay. Baby I need you to be okay. I can't lose you both… I love you Y/N. I love you, I need you to wake up. Please.” He sobs.

Everyday for weeks, Han sits in your room, waiting, praying and hoping that you'll wake up. And everyday, nothing changes, the doctors don't have answers. No one has any answers and it was driving him crazy.

“Okay baby, I'm just gonna go home and shower. It's been a while. Please wake up. Wake up for me, okay?” He says, placing a kiss on your forehead.

A little later, Han gets out of the shower, heading into his room where your stuff stayed. Your clothes still hung in his closet, your things still scattered around the room. He sat on his bed, grabbing the pillow you always used. It still smelt like you. He holds it tightly, glancing over at where it is usually placed. He sees a notebook laying there. He knew he shouldn't, but he needed to. He grabbed the book, the first half he skipped. He couldn't bear to read about how you felt when he was so mad at you and everyone. He knew he hurt you so deeply, but he could relive that right now.

He smiles as he reads what you wrote about how he suddenly changed. How he was being nice and attentive. How you were suspicious of his actions. It made him laugh, for the first time in weeks. You had every right to be suspicious of him, but he was glad you let him prove to you how serious he had been. He flips through a few more pages.

“Dear diary.” He reads. “I can't stop thinking about the future. Han is going to be the best dad. He is so excited for our little girl to come into the world and I can't wait to watch him with a mini version of him and I. I'm so in love with him, I don't know what to do. I want to tell him, but I can't be the first one. Our little girl will be here in a few weeks and I'm so scared. But I know everything will be okay as long as he's by my side. I can't wait to see what the future brings for me and my little family. I've never been so happy in my entire life. Everything feels complete.” He reads. He can't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

Before he can read more, his phone rings. He sets down your diary, and picks up his phone from on the bed.

“Hello?” He sniffles.

“Han Jisung?” The person on the other line asks.

“This is he.” He answers.

“This is nurse Song from the hospital. I'm so sorry to do this over the phone…” She begins.

“No.” He whispers. “Please… please don't.”

“Y/N passed away this afternoon. Her body just wasn't strong enough to heal. We truly did everything we could to save her. I'm so very sorry for your loss.” She finishes.

Han drops his phone on the floor. His chest tightens, he feels like he can't breathe. But he's not scared. His head is dizzy, he feels unstable.

“Please let this be it.” He whispers, clutching his chest. It was getting harder to catch his breath as his chest tightened even more. “Please, take me to my girls.” He groans, falling to the floor. His eyes close as he welcomes the darkness, desperate to see the two he loved the most once again.

L

Ass or Tits?

❣ Summary: The question of 'ass or tits' never truly mattered when you had a group of men who loved all of you. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 6.4k ❣ Warnings: Poly! OT8 x Reader, smut, humor, fluff, light Dom/Sub dynamics, creampie(s), squirting, cum play, referenced after care ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Usual first name + pet name references for the members, Reader is referred to as Baby, Mommy, Miss, Princess, Good Girl, Bunny, Bub, Kitten, Jagi, Noona, lightly edited ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist

“Hey, Hyune?”

The artist hummed as he sketched away at his desk, “Yeah?”

“What do you like better, ass or tits?”

He froze, dropping the charcoal pencil as your words ran through his head on repeat.

“Your ass or tits?”

There was no way he was about to get caught in an infamous partner discourse, not after years of being immune to other futile debates brought on by a certain freckle-faced fairy.

You scoffed out a laugh, rolling onto your stomach from your resting place on his bed, “I mean, I’d hope you’d be talking about my ass or tits, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin whipped his head toward you, eyebrows pushing to his hairline, “W-Well how am I supposed to know!?  This is one of the questions every person dreads! You’re expecting me to pick one or the other on one of my favorite people in the world? What then? Are you going to ask me ‘acrylic or charcoal’? Because I’ll have you know, those are two very different mediums and-”

“Hyunjin, baby - it’s just a question!” Stifling a chuckle, you shook your head, “It’s not like I’m going to ban you from sex if you pick something I didn’t expect - I’m just curious, you know? All of you have different preferences and even though after two years I can kind of make a good guess, I wanna hear it from the sources.”

His shoulders relaxed, visibly slumping in his chair and running his cleaner hand through his short hair, “You’re stressing me out, muse! Why didn’t you lead with that?!”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m so sorry, my little drama queen - now, pick!”

Dark eyes scanned your figure, his head cocking to the side and if you looked closer you could’ve seen the gears turning in his brain.

“Mm… Tits.”

“I knew it.”

“Wha- What’s that supposed to mean?! Are you calling me basic?”

“No, my prince, I’m calling you predictable,” getting off of the bed, you walked toward him and pinched his cheek lovingly, “you grope Changbin’s chest like it’s your job, and there’s rarely a moment your hand isn’t on my chest when we’re cuddling. Now, go wash up - we’re meeting in Chris’s room.”

With a quick kiss to the crown of his head, you walked out of his room with your phone in hand, thumbs typing away in your group chat.

|❣️: Chris’s room asap 💋

“So… Is there a reason why we were summoned? To Chan’s room, no less?” Minho hummed inquisitively, picking up a small souvenir from the eldest’s dresser and turning it in his hands.

“If this is an intervention about League, I swear I didn’t mean to yell that night - I honestly didn’t think anyone heard me!” Came Felix’s whine of defense, already making himself a home on the California king bed, “Seungmin was throwing the game on purpose and I was losing against this stupid-”

“That’s crazy.” Seungmin gaped, faux shock on his face as he purposefully rolled on top of the Aussie, a muffled groan getting caught in the midst of it all. “I told you not to put too much trust in me!”

“Lixie, hate to break it to you, but this definitely isn’t an intervention, but we’ll come back to that point later.” Clapping your hands, you took in the rest of the members who either piled onto the bed, doubled up in Chris’s computer chair, or stood against the door frame. “Anyways - I called you guys here because I have a question!”

“I’d peel a pineapple for you if you asked.”

The room went silent as all eyes shot to Jisung who was currently seated in Minho’s lap, a triumphant smile on his pretty lips.

“I… No, Jisung, it’s not that question, but I’ll remember your answer when I do ask.” Willing away the confused looks sent your way, you cleared your throat, “The actual question is; which do each of you like better - my ass, or my tits?”

The room broke into an uproar, various voices speaking over one another as some questioned the validity of the question while others argued their respective points.

“Noona, you really think we can just pick one thing to like about you?”

Minho scoffed, “I can - her ass, easily.”

“Oh… Shit, you’re right.”

“Jeongin?! Weren’t you just saying you couldn’t pick?!”

“Hyung, that was before I was reminded of how her ass looks in her pajama shorts - you can’t tell me that’s not the hottest sight.”

“I can because I chose her tits!”

Felix laughed, holding his hand up for an air high-five, “I was gonna pick her tits too, Jinnie!”

“This is the stupidest conversation I’ve ever heard,” Seungmin mumbled, throwing an arm over his face, though it did nothing to cover the redness of his ears.

“Bunny, you know you’re more than just your body parts, right?”

You nodded enthusiastically, “Binnie, I’m well aware - I’m just asking for the fun of it, it’s nothing deeper than that!”

Changbin hummed, fluffy curls shifting with the movement, “In that case, I’m team ass - it’s just so cute and round and-” He lifted his hand, squeezing the air as if it were your ass cheeks with a dreamy sigh, “-god, I love it.”

“Okay but, what if we can’t pick?” Jisung piped up, a soft pout puffing his cheeks, “There’s no way I can just choose one - look at you, you’re fucking sexy, Jagi!”

“The oral fixation says boobs, Han, there’s no way out of it.”Felix deadpanned from his place on the bed, his head turned to nail the man with a mischievous glint, “Trust me, I know.”

The latter’s eyes flicked to your t-shirt, tracing the outline of your breasts in the loose fabric with ease. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right - her tits are amazing.”

“Alright, Chan and Seungmin, you two are the only ones left - make your choice!” Hyunjin demanded lightly, gesturing his hand toward your body from his seat next to you, “Tits or ass? Ass or tits? Which one is it?”

“I’m not playing this game,” the youngest of the two mumbled, his position unchanged.

“Oh, come on, Seungmin! She said it herself, it’s just for fun, she won’t take any offense to what you choose,” Felix prodded, wiggling his body next to his boyfriend, “and we won’t make fun of you if you pick something we didn’t expect.”

“Yeah, puppy,” reaching down, you threaded your fingers through his black hair, “whatever you pick is fine with me, and if anyone makes fun of you for it, they won’t get anything from me for a week.”

That roused a small chuckle from him as he moved his arm, looking up at you with soft eyes, “Really? You think you could go that long?”

“For my Seungmin? Of course. Now, which is it, baby?”

His lips quivered, struggling between forming words and keeping his solitude until he finally murmured, “I like your thighs.”

“That wasn’t even an-”

You quieted Hyunjin with a glare, “Finish that sentence and that’s the only thing you’ll be finishing near me, Hwang.”

“Aw- I wanna change my answer, her thighs are fucking amazing too!” Jisung all but wailed, practically having a full on meltdown, “When you’re eating her out and she wraps them around your head like earmuffs - they’re so warm but you can’t hear her moans when she does it so it’s just a horrible, beautiful curse!”

“No changing your answer, Sungie, you’re still team tits.” 

Now, all the attention was directed to the only one left; Chris, still leaning against the doorway of his room with an embarrassed flush on his face - nothing preparing him for this conversation that pulled him from the sanctity of his laundry run.

“Well, Chris? What do you like?” You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing, knowing full and well that everyone already knew what their boyfriend would pick.

“Ah- You’re seriously going to make me say it?!”

“Come on, Chan, we all said ours, no matter how obvious,” Changbin sent a side eye in an unbothered Minho’s direction, “some of ours may have been.”

The eldest sighed, dropping his head before bringing it up once again, “I like your ass, baby.”

Scoffing, Felix crawled across Seungmin to get closer to you, “I don’t understand how you guys can pick her ass over these,” his hand quickly found home over one of your breasts, gently squeezing the mound over your shirt and earning a shocked gasp in return, “like, how could you not want to suffocate in them?”

“Especially with how sensitive her nipples are?” Hyunjin chimed in, claiming your other breast with his larger hand, jiggling and watching the ripples from your shirt in response.

“Oh my god- The sound she makes when you suck on them?” The bed dipped with a new weight, Jisung making his way onto the bed, causing Jeongin to crawl over and straddle Seungmin. “You guys are seriously missing out.”

Changbin groaned, “It’s not like we don’t like them, we just love her ass more, there’s a difference, Ji.”

In the meantime, you couldn’t help the small sighs of pleasure escaping you as the duo continued to fondle you over your shirt, Jisung taking the hem into his hands.

“Can we, Jagi?”

You nodded happily, “You can, Sungie.”

Hyunjin and Felix pulled back as he lifted your shirt up and off, tossing it off the edge of the bed without a care in the world - why would he, when your tits were on display for him and the men that admired them?

“Why don’t we all take the chance to really admire our favorite parts about you, my muse?” 

Hyunjin’s sultry voice easily floated through the air, the hidden implications more than enough for the atmosphere to ignite with lust.

“Are you ready, angel?”

You blinked up at Felix with dazzling eyes, a small smile tugging at your lips, “Of course, Lixie.”

In the background, you could hear the familiar sounds of panted breaths and the rustling of clothing, but you wouldn’t dare to turn your head from the scene in front - or, rather, above you. 

Hyunjin took the role of straddling your torso while Felix and Jisung kneeled at the sides of your head without even a hint of the clothing that once covered their bodies.

“Innie, can you pass me the lube?”

Jeongin broke from Seungmin’s lips with a groan, narrowing his eyes, “Why can’t you just spit on it, Hyung? I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“Because I asked you to? If I felt like spitting I would’ve done it already,” Hyunjin spoke matter-of-factly, catching the glimpse of Jisung guiding his dick into your mouth from the corner of his eye, “don’t be a smartass!”

“Smarta-”

The youngest was unceremoniously flipped onto his back, the black haired singer reaching into the nightstand and tossing over a bottle of lube with a huff.

“Seriously, it was never that big of a deal, you brat.”

Snatching up the tube, Hyunjin wasted no time in squeezing a generous amount between the valley of your breasts, humming out a small apology when you jumped at the cold gel on your skin.

“Forget what I said,” Jisung moaned softly, watching the way your cheeks puffed and hollowed with each drag of his cock, “your mouth is my favorite part.”

Pulling off of him with a pop, you pumped him with your right hand and tossed him a teasing smirk, “You’re still team tits, Sungie.”

Turning your head, you eagerly welcomed Felix’s dick with an eager tongue lapping at the precum beading the tip before taking him in one fell swoop.

“That doesn’t take away from the fact that your mouth is fucking amazing, sunshine.” Felix groaned, bringing a hand to cup your cheek as he lightly thrust into your leisurely bobs.

“Especially for the fact that we’re here for these.” Hyunjin’s lube covered hands squeezed your breasts around his length, the swells positively shining as they sandwiched his cock in an unparalleled warmth.

It wasn’t long until an unplanned rhythm was found between the four of you; alternating between blowjobs and handjobs for the sunshine twins while a certain artist busied himself with a simple rhythm of humping your chest.

In the meantime, Changbin managed to swap positions with Minho for the chair, sitting the second eldest in his lap and littering slow kisses paired with sharp nips along the length of his neck while he watched the show before them.

“Chan, you’re not going to just stand there the whole time, are you?” Minho mused with a raised eyebrow, noting the way the eldest hadn’t even moved a muscle from his spot near the door.

Chris hesitated for a moment before shaking his head, “No, but I’m doing laundry - I don’t wanna get sidetracked and forget about it in the wash, you know?”

There was a disinterested hum followed by a huff he knew all too well, and he found himself pushing off of the doorway with a breathless laugh.

“You have such a way with words, you know that?”

Smirking, Minho shrugged, “I know, it’s a talent.”

Standing in front of the two - and inadvertently blocking the once flawless view - Chris planted his hands on the armrests of the chair before leaning down to catch Minho's lips in a slow kiss, just to part a moment later to do the same with Changbin over his shoulder.

“A-Ah- Tighten your hand a little, Jagi.”

“You have hands,” Hyunjin panted, licking his lips as he watched his pink tip repeatedly disappear and reappear, “help her out- fuck, Lix…”

The blond hummed against his neck, licking at a blossoming hickey, “‘M sorry, just feels so good.”

“Hyune, move your hand a bit.”

Abiding the request, Hyunjin slid his hand to the outer swell of your breast while Jisung licked his fingers before easily finding their way to your nipple, gently rolling the nub between his finger and thumb.

The moan you let out was instantly muffled by Felix’s cock, which in turn made him grit out a shivering groan, “F-Fuck, I’m gonna come soon.”

“M-Me too,” Jisung nodded frantically, eyes trained on the way his hand enveloped yours as he fucked your fist, “gonna paint those pretty tits of yours, Jagi.”

It only took a handful of strokes before Felix was drawing from your mouth with frantic breaths, Jisung slipping from your soiled hand to take over the rest of the job as they both aimed for your chest.

“God, look at how gorgeous they look wrapped around Jinnie’s dick.”

“They were just made to have a dick between them, huh?”

You groaned helplessly, bringing your hands to cover Hyunjin’s and squish your breasts together more, “C-Come on, show mommy how much you love her tits.”

If there was one thing to get them to fall, it was that title - and, like a harp string being plucked, they both came with a sharp gasp and a guttural groan, cum spraying across your breasts and a few drops even landing on your fingers.

Hyunjin shivered above you, eyebrows drawing together with the silver eyebrow piercing catching the glint of the light.

“I can see you’re close, Hyune,” squeezing his hands lightly, you watched as Jisung and Felix flocked to him, hands wandering his chest while lips danced along his shoulders and neck, “come for Miss, my prince, make a mess of me.”

A choked moan fell past his lips as his hips stuttered before he lifted himself onto his knees and came against your breasts, his cum joining the mess of the other two with ease and creating an intricate pattern of white along your skin.

Jisung dipped down to lick a fat stripe through the cum, collecting as much as he could onto his tongue before pulling Felix in for a beautifully messy kiss above you - then repeated the process with Hyunjin, leaving you in a state of horny awe.

“Seungmin, you’re up next.” Felix called happily, swiping his thumb along your breast before presenting it to your lips and watched as you eagerly licked it clean. “You’re so kinky.”

You stifled a laugh, giving the pad of his thumb a soft kiss, “You’re one to talk.”

The trio moved away to make room for the thigh connoisseur, watching as he untangled himself from Jeongin and shuffled between your legs - your pajama shorts and underwear having already met the same fate as your t-shirt moments ago.

“I… I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” he mumbled quietly, a strawberry blush turning his ears as he nudged the leaking head of his cock against the plush of your inner thigh. “Might’ve pushed it a bit too close with Innie.”

“That’s more than okay, pup,” reaching your hand out, you grabbed the lube before handing it to him, “if it bothers you, you can always have a round two later, okay?”

Seungmin nodded dutifully, taking the lube from you while tapping your legs, prompting you to lift them both and lean them on his chest; pouring a generous amount of lube in the palm of his hand to coat around his length.

With a bit of maneuvering, he had both of your calves resting on his right shoulder with his dick nestled in the tight space between your thighs and just above your pelvis - if you focused hard enough, you could feel the heat of his balls against the lips of your pussy.

“M-Mm, fuck…” Wrapping his right arm around your legs, his left hand went down to grip the outside of your thigh, squeezing the flesh as he jutted his hips forward with a quiet moan.

You watched on as he fucked your thighs in quick, sharp thrusts, brown eyes fogged and unfocused as he began to chase the high that was undoubtedly close.

“Good puppy, my good puppy - love my thighs so much, hm? Maybe one of these days I should get you to hump one, would you like that?”

You could clock the faint twinkle in his eye from a mile away, catching the subtle pout of his lips as his body rocked against yours without rhyme but with the sole reason of finishing.

His blush now crawled across his face, tinting the apples of his cheeks as his eyes found yours, “Really?”

Humming, you flexed your thighs, “Really, pup, I’d love to watch you ride me.”

He whimpered, blunt nails digging into your skin as his head dropped to nip at your ankle, “W-Want that, bub - want it so bad.”

“Then it’s yours, Minnie. I’m all yours.”

The next thrust forward had ropes of white streaking up the length of your stomach, breathless moans hidden behind firmly pressed lips as Seungmin shook against your legs, tensing and shaking with each wave until he finally relaxed with a shaky breath.

“You okay, pup?”

Nodding, he gave you a soft smile, “Yeah, but you better not forget your promise.”

You laughed, accepting a kiss to your ankle as a parting gift as he moved away from you and into the arms of a lounging Hyunjin - the comment of him being “disgustingly sweaty”, and Hyunjin’s response of “Then get off of me!”, not going unnoticed in the process.

Turning your gaze to the ceiling, a knowing smile grew on your lips, “Do I even have to ask who’s going next?”

“Nope!” Sliding into view came your darling bread, a smug grin on his lips as his face hovered over yours, “You don’t even have to guess, I’m already here.”

Bringing your hand to his jaw, you lightly scratched your nails under his chin, “Of course you are, maknae - so, how do you want me? Doggy style? Reverse cowgirl? Some secret third position I have yet to learn?”

Judging from the sparkle of his eyes the instant the second option left your lips, he had his decision already cut out and you laughed at his inability to be discreet.

“Alright, I guess this is to make up for slacking on leg day, isn’t it?”

Jeongin rolled onto his back, watching as you straddled him with ease, “You’d have to ask Changbin Hyung about that, Noona - you were the one who suggested it anywa- ah!”

You didn’t need to waste time in teasing yourself as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, lining it up with your severely neglected pussy before sinking down in one fell swoop - a satisfied moan leaving your lips.

“O-Oh god, maybe this wasn’t a good idea…”

“Oh? And what makes you say that, baby?”

Of course, you already knew the answer judging from the way his calves tensed, his toes curled and - less externally obvious - the way his dick twitched inside of your warm walls.

“Noona, please-”

“Have a little too much fun with Minnie, huh? Got yourself all excited while you were waiting?” Clicking your tongue, you rolled your hips teasingly, “I bet you were touching yourself while Seungmin was having his turn, weren’t you, baby boy?”

He whined, tossing his head back with a groan, “Just- Just give me a minute, I swear I’ll last!”

Humming, you waited a few seconds before shaking your head, “Sorry, Innie, if you come early then that’s just how it is - just lay back and enjoy the view, okay? This is what you wanted, remember?”

With no other choice, the sounds of your joined moans soon filled the room as you rode him with one goal on your mind.

“Fuck, look at that view…” Neither one of you were aware of Changbin’s sudden presence beside the bed as he leaned beside Jeongin, basking in the sight of your ass jiggling with each bounce. “I’ll never get over it.”

“I-” Jeongin whimpered, short huffs of breaths escaping him, “T-This is the first time-”

“-she’s ridden reverse cowgirl?! IN-ah, what were you waiting for?!”

“It’s not that he was waiting,” you laughed breathlessly, though the clench of your pussy earned a moan in its wake, “he was just too excited to try everything else that normal positions were at the bottom of his list.”

“What a shame, wasting his chance like this.”

Lifting your head, you were now met with the sight of Minho directly in front of you, keen eyes unblinking as he took you in with a smirk.

“Is it a waste, Min?” Slowing your bounces to languid strokes, your head tilted prettily to the side, “I’d like to think of it as an introduction to what future chances would be like.”

This time, his smirk reached his eyes, brown irises sparkling with amusement, “You naughty kitten.” His hand cupped your cheek as he dipped down to steal a kiss, nipping at your bottom lip in the process.

You preened at the sensation, but the moan that followed came from the firm grip on the swell of your ass cheek, the hand and the pressure stemming from two different forms of familiarity.

“See? What did I tell you?” Changbin smirked, squeezing his hand over Jeongin’s to tighten his grip on your ass, “You can watch all you want, but the real fun is in touching.”

The younger groaned out a desperate sound, “‘M g-gonna-”

At the hint of his confession, you forfeited the feeling of Minho’s lips on yours for the opportunity to go back to bouncing on Jeongin’s dick without abandon, fisting the sheets to distract from the unyielding burn in your thighs.

“-a-ah- p-please- N-Noona, oh god, I-” He cut himself off with a choked gasp, hips canting as his orgasm took him by storm.

A hum of satisfaction vibrated past your lips as his warmth filled you, stilling to spare him the overstimulation for the time being. “Feels so good baby, you never disappoint.”

Once the incessant twitching of his cock died down, you lifted yourself off of his lap, shivering at the sensation of his load slowly seeping out of you and dribbling back onto his spent dick.

“So,” you breathed, looking between the two men currently surrounding you and shooting a glance toward Chris, “who’s next?”

The answer to that question was a very smug Minho, excitement thrumming through your veins as he nodded his head toward the edge of the bed - the silent command leading you to find yourself to where you currently were now.

“Minho!”

Your nails clawed at the sheets, the mattress rocking along with your body as the black haired man fucked into you like a man possessed.

“It’s only fair that someone gives you your first orgasm of the night, kitten,” he drawled, thumbs digging into the small of your back as he held you impossibly tighter, “why wouldn’t I make sure that it’s me giving it to you?”

Your body couldn’t decide between attempting to run away from his powerful thrusts, or submit yourself to the fiery pleasure that hoped to consume you, until you felt the warmth of his hands sliding up your back, past your shoulder blades, and along your forearms.

Like a slab of clay for him to mold, he maneuvered your arms behind your back and pinned them with one hand, the other going back to its home on your hip as he aimed long, precise thrusts to a spot he was well acquainted with.

The side of your face melted into the mattress, tears of pleasure blurring your vision, as any sound you’d hoped to make dissolved into hiccuped breaths and encouraging mewls.

Minho grunted, clenching his jaw as he felt the telltale signs of your orgasm begin to shine through, “That’s it, kitten, give it to me.”

Your legs trembled, pussy fluttering and clenching with each passing second until your body tensed with a cry of his name falling from your spit-shined lips.

He welcomed the new wave of arousal coating his dick and adding to the already sloppy glide of your cunt, wet slaps sounding through the room as he fucked you through your high with a breathless chuckle.

“There it is.”

Grip tightening on your wrists, his hips met yours a number of times before he pulled out with a gasp, jacking himself off with his free hand and coming along the curve of your ass and thighs - much to your delirious chagrin.

“Why…?” You whined breathlessly, wiggling your hips for further emphasis - not that he needed it.

Minho released your wrists to land a swift smack to your unsoiled ass cheek, a satisfied smile curling his lips from the squeak you let out. “Because I wanted to - you still have two people to fill you the way you wish, kitten, let’s not get too greedy, hm?”

There was a slew of giggles and chuckles from the onlookers, and you tried your best to send them your best glare, though your efforts were in vain as you felt a pair of hands caressing your thighs.

“Get up on the bed for Binnie, bunny.”

You obeyed with no hesitation, already knowing which position you would be set in for the remainder of the session as you turned to tuck a pillow under your chin, bringing your knees up and out to sit your hips high in the air and dip your spine into a fine arch - pretty and presentable.

“God,” Changbin groaned, scrambling to fill in the space behind you as fast as he could, “I’ve been waiting so long to get you like this, bunny, you would not believe.” His firm hands instantly went to cup your ass, spreading your cheeks further and sucking in a breath at your glistening hole. “So fucking pretty…”

“Binnie.”

Your insistent, warning whine hadn’t fallen on deaf ears, and he wasted no time in notching the fat head of his dick to your fluttering walls.

“Alright, bunny, deep breaths for me.”

Of course, you already knew the drill, having grown custom to the mind numbingly delicious stretch only he was capable of giving you, but the reminder never failed to stir the swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

With a deep inhale, your slow exhale was followed by him sinking past your walls, each inch slowly stretching your cunt around his girth.

It wasn’t long until he was fully seated inside of you, and with warm hands kneading the flesh of your ass, he drew his hips back before snapping them forward, punching a moan from the depths of your lungs.

Even if you were still tingling with the aftershocks of your orgasm, you were still begging for more with each whimpered moan and choked gasp as your body seemed to melt deeper into the arch you had set.

“Look at you, can’t get enough of us, can you?” Changbin goaded, though his tone was soft and warm, “It’s okay, we can’t get enough of you either, bunny.” He lifted his hand to slap the swell of your ass, before gripping the flesh, “You and this ass of yours.”

A shiver shot down your spine as his hand slipped, his thumb caressing the inside of your cheek and just barely grazing your asshole - a temptation that had shown its face among a few of the boys before, but was never fully dwelled on by them nor yourself.

“I’m curious, bunny,” he hummed, slowing his fast thrusts for laxed, deeper ruts, “would you ever let one of us use this other pretty hole of yours?” Sliding his hand further, he pressed his thumb against the tight ring just enough to burn the fantasy into a possible reality, “Would you let Binnie fuck this pretty ass?”

You nodded frantically, your hands gripping onto the poor pillow below you, “Y-Yes! Yes! I-It’s all yours, Binnie - want it so bad!”

His signature, triumphant laugh filled the room as he tossed a glance to his boyfriends, “Hear that? I get first dibs.”

“You can’t just ask her questions like that!” Jeongin groaned, a stern pout set on his lips, “She agrees to anything if you fuck her long enough!”

“Yeah, how else do you think Felix managed to stay up late enough for his Apex tournament that one time?”

“How am I always being brought up here?!” The blond scoffed as he lightly shoved Hyunjin, crossing his arms over his lithe chest, “But, I mean, yeah - three orgasms can get you a pretty good deal.”

Jisung hummed inquisitively, before narrowing his eyes, “But did you win?”

“He won,” Minho huffed, a smirk curving the corners of his lips, “and he gave her head the next morning, I could hear her moans from the kitchen.”

Muted thumps of the headboard began to grow in frequency until a low groan interrupted the riveting conversation - Changbin hunching over your body as his muscles tensed, shivering while he filled you with his seed.

“God, fuck,” he hissed, rolling his hips against yours while your walls fluttered around him, clenching from the orgasm that was just moments away. “You’re too good to us, you know that, bunny?”

You huffed out a breathless laugh, stifling a moan as his hands massaged your lower back out of its arch for a moment of respite, “I-I’ve been told once or twice,” turning your head, sultry eyes landed on the final man of the hour, “but you guys are worth it.”

Chris flushed under the heat of your gaze, just barely catching Changbin’s teasing “Don’t break her back, Chan.”, as he climbed onto the bed and took the space previously occupied by the rapper.

“Think you can stay in this position one more time, baby?” He mused softly, caressing the warm skin of your back before gliding his hand down to the curve of your ass.

Without answering him, you spread your knees and tucked yourself into a deeper arch, wiggling your hips to further entice the man behind you.

“Yeah,” Seungmin chuckled, lazily crossing his arms over his chest, “he’s blowing her back out, it’s over.”

As much as you wanted to turn your head to respond, your train of thought flew out the window as you felt the bed dip slightly, before the pressure of Chris’s blunt tip nudged against your cunt, bumping against your clit tauntingly.

“Alright, princess,” he breathed, dragging the tip along your slit, “why don’t you give them a show for daddy, hm?”

This time, your reply came in the form of an elongated moan as he sunk into your heat, the stretch coming with ease after Changbin’s size, yet the length making your toes curl.

“Oh, god-”

There was no opportunity for a pause, not when you were miles beyond prepped and ready; the orgasm Minho previously gave you, paired with the second one Changbin gently guided you toward yet kept from tipping over, leaving you with a bubble that was ready to burst within minutes.

“F-Fuck, daddy,” you keened, pressing your hips into his own in feigned hopes of getting him impossibly deeper, “please, please fuck me.”

Chris ran his tongue over his bottom lip, eyes glued to the way your pussy wrapped around his length, as he nodded, “Hands, baby.”

A shiver of excitement shot down your spine and you complied almost immediately, using the pillow to keep your head propped up as you worked your arms behind your back, the warmth of his hand easily finding your wrists and pinning them.

With you set up to his liking, he slowly pulled out just about halfway before driving his hips forward with force, the added balance of his right foot planted on the bed adding to his power.

He was definitely going to blow your back out.

It didn’t take long for him to find the perfect rhythm, nor did it take long for the room to be filled with your high pitched moans and gasps, and the slap of your ass against his thighs - the ripples slowly, but surely, turning your limbs to jelly.

“Our perfect girl,” he gritted out, the grip on your hip and wrists tightening marginally, “letting us admire you for the beautiful gem you are - take turns with this gorgeous body of yours.”

It wasn’t news that they were constantly in awe of you, with and without your clothes on - you were the brightest star in their night sky, you were the puzzle piece they finally found to complete their lives separately and together - and they never failed to remind you of how loved you were.

“But, you know you’re so much more than that, don’t you, princess?” Chris tilted his head to catch a glimpse of your face, eyes fogged and unfocused, lips parted with endless moans tumbling through, “You’re so much more than just your body to us.”

“C-Chris!” You managed to choke out between a whimper, his loving sentiments paired with the unyielding strokes of his cock to your deepest, sweetest parts turning your brain to mush, though your body responded in the best way it could.

He hissed at the telltale clench of your walls, a shiver running down his spine as he nodded mindlessly, “Already? It’s alright, baby, you can come for me - don’t hold back, yeah? Give it to me - give it all to me.”

Your body reacted faster than your mind could at his command, your orgasm barrelling toward you at a speed that had your hands balling into fists; every muscle in your body tensing and clenching until the thread snapped with one more well angled thrust. Mouth falling open with a silent scream, the only sound you were able to hear was your own heartbeat as your vision went white.

The first thing to return to you was your hearing, the muffled thumps of your heart fading out into loud, heavy pants - though you knew for a fact that breathing wasn’t just you. The next sense to return was touch, the slightly damp sheets underneath you grounding you back to reality as your eyes fluttered open only to land on an unexpected face.

“Sungie?”

“Jagi, if I swap to ‘Team Ass’ can you do that for me, too?” Jisung’s face was ripe with blush, though his eyes were wide and wild with lust that had your abdomen clench almost painfully.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you frowned lightly, “Do what?”

“You squirted, muse,” Hyunjin murmured beside him, awe laced in his tone, “that was so fucking hot.”

Oh.

It wasn’t until you went to move your arms that you realized Chris was still keeping you pinned - and a second later you realized he was still inside of you.

“Channie?”

“I-I’m okay, I-” Relinquishing his hold on you, his hands instantly went to your hips, thumbs tracing nondescript shapes against your skin, “I just… I need a minute, ‘m sorry.”

“No, no, baby, it’s okay, take your time.” Working yourself onto your hands, your lower back eternally grateful for the relief, you took a quick scan of the empty room, “Where’d everyone else go? Did I genuinely pass out?”

“No - honestly, you were only out for like, a minute, but after you, uh, came, we started the aftercare checklist.” Hyunjin’s hand reached out to wipe away a hint of saliva at the corner of your lips, “Hannie and I are on talk-down duty, Felix is running you a bath, Jeongin’s getting you a washcloth, Seungmin is getting you water while Minho’s starting on dinner, and Changbin is getting the laundry Chan was too fucked out to get himself.”

“I’m not fucked out,” the eldest groaned as he lazily turned his head toward the artist, “it was just a really intense orgasm, alright?”

With enough energy worked up, he pulled his hips away from yours as his softening dick slipped from your pussy, a shared hiss of overstimulation escaping you both in the process.

“Holy shit… Intense is a fucking understatement, she’s dripping so much.”

You bristled at Jisung’s words, though you could feel the reality of the situation currently oozing its way down your clit and undoubtedly landing against the stained bed sheet.

“Fuck, it’s like a river… Am I allowed to be jealous right now?”

“Han, please.” Chris groaned, embarrassment evident in his tone, “We get it, I come a lot, but I really don’t know what you have to be jealous about.”

Ducking your head with a barely contained laugh, you shook your head before meeting Jisung’s stare, “Next time, you’ll be the one almost folded in half and stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, okay?”

“I got the water, but it’s gonna cost you-” Seungmin stopped in his tracks as he rounded the bed, his eyes locking onto the mess between your legs, “What- You turned her into an overstuffed twinkie!”

“Seungmin!”

✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @maximumkillshot, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @specialstay, @s00buwu, @tinyelfperson, @jj-stay, @katsukis1wife, @inlovewithmusician, @keen-li, @armystay89, @main-character0, @vampcharxter, @ddyskz, @prettymiye0n, @bbgnyx, @ivyisnotokay, @bahng-chrizz, @milknhoneyracha, @hann1bee, @palindrome969, @newhope8, @softkissfelix, @luvyev, @luminouskalopsia, @kpopsstuffs, @luvyev, @starquokka, @wolfs-howling, @broken-glowsticks, @j-onedrabbles, @dawninnie, @junglyric, @piercedddriver, @sometimesleeknows, @mahklathekpopqueen

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Dance For Us

2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist

Pairing:

Lee Minho/Lee Know x Fem Reader

Lee Yongbok/Lee Felix x Fem Reader

Hwang Hyunjin x Fem Reader

Lee Yongbok/Lee Felix x Hwang Hyunjin

Themes: Smut… Just a lot of smut

Word Count: ~17k | AO3

Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Cussing, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Implied Coercion

Summary: DanceRACHA sees you dancing to ‘Taste’ before their concert and they want a private show. Up close and personal.

Author's Note: This work was inspired by a request from @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything so I hope this spicy fic makes up for it.

__________________________________________

It's kind of strange, isn’t it? How anyone, literally anyone could be watching you when you’re in a public setting? Especially when there are hundreds of people surrounding the same area. Creepy almost…

But it doesn’t really help when there’s a circle of people dancing while waiting outside the stadium for the Stray Kids concert to start. You had never realized how supportive other Stays could be of each other and, although you were uncomfortable around a bunch of strangers with no one accompanying you, the others really welcomed you with open arms.

You were surprised with the amount of Stays that had learned the choreography of their idol’s songs and impressed by the quality of it. You were somewhat shy to admit it, but you weren’t a stranger to some of the dances yourself. In fact, there were a number of songs that you were pretty confident you had down to a T.

You couldn’t help it that Stray Kids songs made you want to move your body subconsciously. “Why don’t you get out there? You definitely seem like you want to dance!” You were startled by the guy next to you whom you had befriended while watching everyone. Apparently, you had been slightly dancing to the songs you knew the choreography to and a massive blush spread across your cheeks.

“Oh no no no. I could never…” You chuckled shyly and the guy smirked at you.

“You know that no one is going to judge you here? And if they do, then fuck them anyway.” You looked down and fidgeted with your fingers. You felt a warm hand gently pat your shoulder. “And you know that I will definitely cheer you on!”

You smiled up at him and then fear crossed your face when someone requested ‘Taste’. Fuck. He smiled brightly at you and nudged you to the center of the circle.

“You got this! Fighting!” 

You kept your head down the whole way to stand with a few others that were eager to dance and you tried to focus just on the music as the opening notes rang out.

You had only learned the choreography of all of the songs you memorized of your ultimate bias. Lee Know.

You could never match the amount of precision and finesse that it took to do his part, but it wouldn’t be much easier learning the other’s parts either. Felix with his powerful moves and flexibility that have jaws dropping. Hyunjin with his intensity and how he flows like water in between moves. It was hopeless no matter what, but you always tried your best.

Your nerves were whisked away into the wind once Lee Know’s part started and you trusted your body to move on its own. It seemed like it took you forever to figure out how to look sexy enough to do those moves while you were learning. You didn’t really feel sexy, but now you knew your body well enough to trust it to move how you wanted it to.

The song whisked you away and you didn’t even think twice about all the eyes watching you and the few other Stays that moved in sync along with you. When the song ended and you were gasping for air with sweat dripping down your neck, you heard a loud applause and you crashed back down to reality. 

Your face was blazing red as you shakily bowed your head and you sprinted back to your newfound friend. “Holy shit that was amazing! Why in the world would you want to hold that back?!” He shouted over the masses of cheers.

You just looked down and covered your face, proud that people liked your performance, but embarrassed that people saw you doing something so provocative. “I… I guess I just don't like being watched…” You meekly smiled up at him and he smiled back.

“Well I hate to break it to you, but you’re too pretty for people not to watch.” He cocked a smirk at you and you blushed with a smile as you turned your attention back to the festivities.

- - - - - - - - - -

By the end of the concert, you were sweaty, tired, and out of breath, but you never wanted it to end.

You had managed to grab a ticket right next to the stage and it was so fucking surreal to see your idols so close. You felt like you were hallucinating any time they made eye contact with you and you were sure you had the most idiotic expression of ‘starstruck fangirl’ planted on your face.

The most eye contact, though, was made by the bright smile of Lee Felix. It legitimately felt like you were being basked in sunlight any time he looked at you and you had to keep reminding yourself to keep it together, woman. You weren’t as loud or as attention-hungry as the Stays around you so you had not a single goddamned clue why his eyes kept drifting back to yours.

When they showed a surprise performance of ‘Taste’ you were done for.

Every two seconds, one of the three dancers would make eye contact with you during the set. You basked in the warmth that was Felix’s wide-eyed gaze, felt your body set ablaze when Hyunjin looked at you with the constant sex eyes he donned while performing, and then you were absolutely chilled to the bone when Lee Know looked down at you like a predator analyzing you.

Needless to say, you were concerned for your health.

During the final ment, your eyes were glued to the astounding god-like beauty of Lee Know and his piercing stare seemed to seek out your own gaze as well. Your body was hot all over and when he looked at you, you had the involuntary reaction to look away. It was as if your body was trying to preserve itself by forcing away the eye contact that made your heart beat out of your chest.

You were surely just imagining things. Seeing what your brain wanted you to see. It would all be over soon anyway and it wouldn’t matter anymore.

Except it did matter.

The concert had ended and you really didn’t want to fight all of the Stays that were filing out of the stadium and then lose your mind with the resulting traffic, so you took it slow and hung back. You sat back down in your seat and decided to scroll through your phone as the masses died down and you were surprised that people had already posted photos and videos of that night.

You smiled at the funny and amazing moments that Stay had captured and you even saw some videos of the activities before the show. As you were scrolling, your thumb froze as you came across a video with ‘Taste’ chiming in the background.

No.

Oh no.

Fuckfuckfuck. There you were. Your vulnerability on full display for the world to see.

NO!

You just sat there with your mouth opening and closing like a damned fish and you practically jumped out of your skin when you heard someone clear their throat in front of you, your phone clattering to the ground as you looked up at the huge, buff, and tall security guard. You must have lost track of time on your phone because when you looked around, the stadium was practically empty.

“O-oh god! I’m so sorry!” You quickly stood up after picking up your phone and collected your things. “I’ll leave right away! Sorry!” You were about to make a move to leave but he stopped you with a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You turned around and probably looked like a frightened bunny as you looked up at the man. However, the warm smile he offered immediately eased your worries. “Actually, ma’am. My name is Tyrone. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.”

All traces of color drained from your face in dread of what you could have possibly done. Had you bumped into the wrong person? Were you too scantily dressed? Were you deemed a threat because you stayed too long? “W-w-wha–?!”

“It will be explained soon, I assure you.” His smile was still warm when he cut off your potential of flurrying questions and he stepped to your side with a gentle touch to your upper back to urge you forward to follow him. For a man that looks like he could kill you in his sleep, he sure is gentle.

You followed him through corridor after corridor and your anxiety only swelled further the longer it took and the deeper you ventured into the bowels of the venue. Just as you were about to question exactly where he was taking you, he stopped in front of a non-descript door. Your curiosity started overtaking your fear as he knocked a couple of times and then slowly opened the door, stepping inside and holding it open for you. You briefly gave him a perplexed look and then stepped inside.

It was just an average lounge room. Completely void of any sign of life and you turned around to see the man still standing at the open door. “Um, can I ask what I did, sir?”

For some reason, he nervously chuckled and it threw you for a loop. “Uhh, heh, well to be honest, I don’t really know. I was just told by the higher-ups to bring you here so they could talk to you. I’m not sure what it’s about, I just do what I’m told. Sorry, little lady.” He shrugged and your shoulders fell in defeat. He pointed to the hallway as he put his hand on the doorknob. “I’ll be right outside if you need me, okay? Make yourself comfortable and someone should be with you soon.”

You shyly nodded your head and he flashed that same warm smile before he turned to go back out.

However, right before he exited, he turned his head back. “Oh yeah! I was supposed to ask what year you were born!” Why the fuck did he need to know that? You looked perplexed but you answered nonetheless. He quickly thanked you as he exited and shut the door behind him. How the fuck were you supposed to make yourself comfortable when you were just basically kidnapped?! I mean, you obviously didn’t feel threatened, but that didn’t mean your anxiety wasn’t skyrocketing!

It felt like you were waiting for ages, pacing back and forth across the windowless room as you kept staring at the door.

After about thirty minutes, you heard a tiny knock at the door and you froze in your overly-frantic tracks. You waited a second and then the door hesitantly opened as a blonde-haired head popped in from around the door.

Oh my god. 

OH MY GOD NO FUCKING WAY.

You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t blink. You couldn’t even conjure a single coherent thought in your head as LEE FUCKING FELIX just waltzed into the room like your whole fucking world didn’t just change at the sight of him.

The door quietly shut behind him as he walked toward you with a blinding smile. “Hi there! I’m Felix!” DID HE JUST FUCKING INTRODUCE HIMSELF?!?! OF COURSE HE IS FELIX!!! THERE’S NOT A SINGLE GODDAMNED SOUL WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHO HE IS!!! HOW DOES AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT SOUND EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL WHEN IT’S COMING FROM HIS MOUTH?!?!

He stood there with his hand outstretched for a handshake and your face was surely still in shock as you blindly reached out for it while you were memorizing every little feature on his angelic face. You were broken out of your trance once his skin touched yours and you looked down at where his hand gently held your own.

He squeezed it gently and you involuntarily let out a shaky chuckle. “Hm?” You looked up to see him tilting his head in question. Whether it was wondering your name or why you giggled, you didn’t know, but you decided to answer the latter first.

You chuckled again. “I… I’m sorry. I guess it’s just funny that you introduced yourself…” His face softened from his puzzled expression and he chuckled softly as well.

“Heh, I guess you’re right. I guess you already know my name, huh?” You giggled and nodded your head. He squeezed your hand once more but still didn’t make any move to release it. “However, I haven’t had the pleasure of getting your name…”

You quickly shook yourself out of your mystified trance and your eyes widened. “Oh! Oh my god, I’m being so rude, I’m sorry!” You frantically introduced yourself and squeezed his hand back, shaking it and bowing your head in greeting.

He chuckled at your panicking and placed his other hand on top of the one already in his grasp, you shut up real quick as you looked at his blinding smile that emitted a beautiful, melodic laugh. “You’re not being rude at all! That is a very beautiful name. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

You nervously chuckled and looked at his hands that encapsulated your own. “I-it’s nice to meet you too…” You shyly smiled and blushed, unable to make eye contact as you bore your eyes into his adorable hands. He surely must be feeling your sweaty palm, why isn’t he pulling away?

“You must be wondering why you’re here, am I right, noona? I can call you noona, yes? You’re a ‘97 girl, right?” Your eyes shot up to meet his own as you tentatively nodded your head. He must have asked Tyrone… He smirked as he finally pulled his hands away. Your hand shot to your clothes to wipe the sweat off your hands and ensure everything looked good. You silently watched as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

As he did so, you only just then realized that he had changed out of his stage clothes and into a comfy-looking t-shirt and shorts. His hair and makeup were still done up, but he definitely looked at least a little bit more comfortable, and you were grateful for it.

You were knocked out of your trance when Felix held his phone out in front of you. Your stomach dropped out of your ass at the mortifying content on his screen. That same fucking video you saw not even an hour ago was displayed right in front of your humiliated face. “This is you, right?”

Your eyes snapped up to him and your whole face lit on fire as you buried your face into your palms. “Oh god!” You whined pitifully.

You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder and you peered at him through your fingers. “What’s wrong???” He sounded alarmed. “I thought it was amazing!” Your eyes blew wide as your hands slowly dropped from your face.

“Wha-what?” You’re sure you sounded braindead from the disbelief in your tone.

He cocked his eyebrow like it was the most obvious thing in existence. Then his face softened when he deciphered your confusion. “Okay, let me correct that statement. We thought it was amazing.”

“WE?! Who’s we?!” Your shyness was overcome by your bewilderment as you practically yelled the words.

He laughed heartily and, again, you were mesmerized at the sight of him. He looked at you endearingly. “Our dance line of course! Minho-hyung, Hyunjinnie, and I recognize talent when we see it. We were surprised to see you right up front during the concert and it was just plain dumb luck that you happened to still be there when we asked for someone to go look for you.”

OKAY, HOLD THE FUCK UP.

There were so many questions running through your head it almost made you dizzy. First off, how in the world could these trained professionals think you were any type of talented? Next, you realized that you weren’t just imagining things when you caught the three of them looking at you during the concert. And lastly… THEY SPECIFICALLY ASKED SOMEONE TO COME AND TAKE YOU TO MEET THEM?!?!

This was unreal. How were you not dreaming right now? Or passed the fuck out?

He must have sensed your internal mental breakdown because he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry that we kind of just forced this on you, but Hyunjin and Minho-hyung would really like to meet you…” 

WHAT THE FUCK?! You made the most unattractive choking noise as you gasped and held your hand to your heart, afraid you were about to have a heart attack.

“But if you are uncomfortable with the whole situation, I can have someone take you ba–”

“NO!” Your hands flew to grab him, but you pulled back before you touched him, instead, putting your hands over your mouth in humiliation of your outburst.

He just laughed heartily and moved to put his other hand on your other shoulder. You were dead. There was no way to survive this. Lee Felix was holding you to face him and you were stunned speechless. “Does that mean you are okay with meeting them?”

You could do nothing but nod your head profusely, almost enough to damage your neck. He kept laughing at you and you couldn’t bring yourself to give two fucks about it. You probably looked pathetic at how much you were panicking…

“Well, then!” He pulled out his phone again and typed out a message, the following *bloop* from his phone indicating he sent a text. “They’re on their way!”

“Oh my gosh…” Your mouth involuntarily let out a sliver of your thoughts and you felt his hands lightly squeeze your shoulders before releasing you.

He offered a meek smile. “They wanted me to come first so you would be more comfortable. I guess I didn’t do a great job, huh?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and you waved your hands in front of you in protest.

“No no! You’re doing great! It’s just hard to relax when… well… it’s you! Like, you must know the effect you have on people!” It should be entirely obvious that anyone who would be able to meet them would go certifiably insane.

“Oh? And what effect do I have on you?” He stepped forward slightly with a crooked smile and it was a goddamned miracle you didn’t faint. The way he lowered his voice to negative decibels didn’t help one bit.

Was he…? No. Nope. Nuh uh, you needed to pull your brain out of delulu land RIGHT NOW. It was a simple question, nothing more.

“U-uh… I-I… I…” You couldn’t find the ON switch to your brain and you were panicking again.

And as if it couldn’t get any worse, the two of you turn to the door when you both hear the fidgeting of the doorknob. For some reason, that’s all it was. The knob was twisting and turning and then you and Felix watched as someone slammed into the door and Hyunjin came stumbling in.

He cursed under his breath and then stood up straight with a smile on his face once he saw you. As he came in, Lee Know walked in after him guffawing and pointing at him. He cackled a speedy sentence in Korean and you looked at Felix in confusion.

Felix started laughing too as Hyunjin made a sour face and turned to you. “The door was jammed and he was having a breakdown trying to force it open.” Felix cracked up and Hyunjin punched his arm while angrily murmuring something Korean under his breath.

You felt a tiny bit more at ease as you giggled behind your hand.

However, that was short-lived once the two newly arrived men turned their attention towards you. Your smile morphed into one of trepidation real quick.

Hyunjin and Lee Know bowed their heads in tandem in greeting, and then Hyunjin shook his head, as if coming out of a stupor, and stepped forward to offer his hand. Again, you tentatively grasped his hand and he squeezed it with a light shake, releasing it afterward unlike the life-threatening grasp of Felix.

“Hi! I’m Hyunjin!” Felix snorted out a half chuckle and you looked down with a shy, amused smile as well, knowing he was thinking the same thing you were about the introduction. “What? What did I say?” You shook your head and offered a small smile.

“Nothing! Nothing!” You bit your lip to hold back your grin. “I… I’m honored to meet you…” You bowed your head to him and then looked to Lee Know to do the same.

You instantly regretted your eye contact with the man behind Hyunjin because his gaze was sharp and piercing and you felt like you were just stabbed in the chest. Your expression faltered and all of the blood in your body rushed to your face.

You could have sworn you saw a smirk cross his features, but he quickly offered a tight-lipped smile and waved at you, making no moves to come closer as the other two had. “Hi, I’m Lee Know.”

You offered a shaky smile and waved back. Damn your trembling arm to hell. “H-hi…” You introduced your name to both of them and then looked down to the ground, unable to bring yourself to make eye contact any longer than you had to.

You heard Minho speak and you raised your head only slightly when he said something in Korean that almost sounded like… cooing? You heard the other two chuckle and then you really looked up, once again, looking to Felix for answers.

He smirked and then mischievously eyed Minho. “Hyung thinks you’re cute~” He said in a sing-songy voice.

“YAH!” Minho angrily stepped forward and Felix ran behind you while laughing, holding you in front of him by your arms as your eyes blew wide and your heart started racing. That’s it. You were dead. No other explanation made sense. 

While Hyunjin doubled over, absolutely howling with laughter, Minho just stared at you with an unreadable expression as your face, once again, turned into a tomato. Surely they are fucking with you. There is no way in hell that this adonis of a man thought you were any type of attractive.

Still, with a completely expressionless face, Minho sighed in tiny English. “Dance for us.”

Your jaw must have completely detached and dropped to the ground like a damned cartoon character because the look on his and Hyunjin’s faces was pure amusement.

Felix quickly walked around to stand in front of you again, attempting to do damage control. “What he means to say…” He rolled his eyes at the elder. “-is that we want to see your performance ourselves. Minho-hyung is our dance leader and he was just about insistent to see if you have any other… skills to show us…” He almost seemed nervous asking the question.

Why was he nervous? If anyone should be nervous, it should be you! You frantically shook your head. “Nononono! I couldn’t possibly… I can’t… I’m not… I-I…” You were terrified that they would even think to ask such a thing. “I am nowhere near as amazing as you guys!” Minho huffed and you looked over to see him roll his eyes and mutter something Korean under his breath. You felt your heart shatter at his disappointment.

You instantly stiffened when you felt an arm wrap around your shoulders from your right. And when you looked over, you stopped breathing. Hyunjin’s face was right fucking next to yours and his smile was stupidly attractive as he looked down at you. “Come on! It’ll be fun!” He lightly squeezed you and you wanted to crawl into a hole and die when a tiny squeak escaped your mouth.

You sucked in your lips and you clenched your eyes shut to hide your horrified expression. You expected teasing, laughing, anything, but all you heard was silence. When you opened your eyes again, you were taken off guard to see that they had gotten closer to you and all three had an expression that looked like they would eat you alive.

Minho stepped up right in front of your face and you felt your bones tremble. He gently grasped your hand in his own and looked deep into your eyes. “Please.” How was it that this man could ask such a vulnerable question, and yet make it sound like a command? He had you ensnared in his gorgeous eyes and there was no chance of escaping.

…but honestly, you couldn’t care less.

“O-okay…” You shakily whispered. An evil sneer morphed onto his face at your meek word of relent. 

“Good.” Your eyes widened from the cocky tone in his voice and your eyes followed him as he released your hand and made his way to the door, exiting casually with a friendly nod to Tyrone whom you could see standing just beyond the threshold.

You looked at the tall man still holding you with confusion written on your features. “Why is he leaving?” You almost wanted to cry due to having such a short time with him.

Hyunjin flashed a gorgeous smile, but Felix was the one to speak up and you turned to him. “We can’t do it here, love. We can’t stay in the building all night.” ALL NIGHT?!?! “We’ll sneak you up to hyung’s room so we won’t be bothered.”

You stopped breathing. He called you love. He said all night. He said Minho’s ROOM.

You almost felt sick from the nerves you were feeling. Why, of all people, did they want you to accompany them? And even further, take you back to their room???... “W-wait… you mean his hotel room?!” There was no holding back the disbelief in your voice and Hyunjin chuckled.

When you turned back to look at him, he was even closer to your face (if that was even possible at this point). “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, pretty girl. We just don’t have any other options. We need to make sure we keep you a secret.” He winked and you could tell he was trying to hypnotize you with those damned sex eyes, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to put up a fight. Especially since you could feel him gently caress your arm with the hand he had wrapped around you.

You had to close your eyes and face the floor to collect your thoughts and learn how to speak again. “O-okay… let’s… let’s go…” You exhaled heavily from the amount of air you were holding back and you felt a small hand on your left grasp onto your own.

You heard a gleeful noise from your right. “I’m so excited! Let’s go!” Hyunjin released you and skipped off out the door and down the hall.

Your face must have shown your thoughts because the man holding your hand decided to poke at the worried crease between your eyebrows. “You doing okay in there?” He had an amused smile but you could still see the concern behind his eyes.

Your heart swelled. He really is the world’s best friend, isn’t he? “I’ll be fine. This is all just… a lot.” You nervously chuckled and he squeezed your hand tighter.

“I’m sure it is pretty stressful. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, just say the word and we can take you home.” You offered a small smile and he returned it. “Okay, well. Let’s get to it. I’m sure they’re already waiting.” And with that, he walked you down the hall, hand in hand, to get ready to head out.

- - - - - - - - - -

You were pretty upset that the rest of the guys had already headed out and you didn’t get the chance to meet them, but you were already blessed beyond compare to even get this far, so you didn’t share your complaints with the three.

They paid for a cab to take you to their hotel and you entered separately from them to hide suspicion and, before you knew it, you were in the hotel elevator with three of the most drop-dead gorgeous creatures you had ever seen.

That was probably the slowest elevator in existence and yet too quick for your liking. You stood on one side, probably looking like a cornered baby gazelle while three hungry lions stood on the other side dissecting you with their eyes. How you would ever be able to get your body to dance for them, you didn’t know.

When the elevator bell dinged to indicate its arrival, you involuntarily jumped out of your skin. Hyunjin and Felix tried to hold back their chuckle, but Minho just cackled and patted your head as he waltzed out of the elevator as if he wasn’t leading you to your demise.

They didn’t even say a word as Minho nonchalantly unlocked the door and the three of you followed him in. You probably looked pathetic. Your arms were tucked in on yourself and your shoulders were tense. You probably looked super tiny in this unnecessarily large room. Unfortunately plenty of room to dance.

Hyunjin and Minho plopped down on the huge couch in the middle of the room and looked at you expectantly as you idiotically stayed frozen in the corridor and Felix closed and locked the door behind you. “Yah.” Minho exclaimed and then motioned to the large space in front of them. It should seem rude, but the look in his eyes didn’t scream malevolent. He just simply didn’t seem to know how to convey what he wanted.

Felix gave him an exasperated look and then turned back to smile at you. “It’s okay, love. We just want to check out your skills firsthand.”  All you could do was nod your head obediently, words completely evading your comprehension, as you set down your small clutch purse and stepped up in front of them.

“Um, do you need to take my phone or anything? I know you guys are probably worried about secrecy and all of that sooo….” 

Felix offered a fond smile. “Are you planning on telling anyone?” Your eyes popped open and you shook your head profusely. “Then we’re all good! We’ve never really done this before, but we trust you, noona. We are pretty good judges of character.”

Why? Why would they trust a completely random Stay? Of course, you want what’s best for them and they haven’t done anything to make you uncomfortable… well… not in an unwelcome way, but you are afraid of what could happen to them if they trusted the wrong person.

Hyunjin smirked as he stood up and walked to the mini-fridge. His eyes scorched you with their intensity as he returned to the couch with a bottle of wine and a couple of the hotel’s cups, tongue peeking out the corner of his lips as he assessed you. “Do you mind if we drink, angel? We just had a long day and we need to take the edge off.”

“N-no, I don’t mind…” You sounded incredibly small and he flashed his cocky open smile before pouring him and the others a cup.

You watched as the three took a sip, your eyes following the bob of Minho’s Adam's apple as he gulped and you found yourself taking a dry swallow too. Once you finally regained the ability to think about anything other than the dangerous thoughts lurking in your head, you looked up and realized he was boring his eyes into you as he calmly sat down the cup across the coffee table, making a gesture from you to the cup.

You had no clue what he wanted from you. Did he want you to fill it up even more for him? “Huh?” You hated to sound dumb, but you were probably already getting there with the way Minho clicked his tongue in frustration and picked the cup back up. He reluctantly stood from the couch, leaving the other two men to sit and watch your movements like a hawk as he stepped around the table and stood only a foot’s length away from your face.

Without looking away from your frightened eyes, he calmly spoke “Do you want some?” Your eyes widened and you about fainted when Minho flashed a crooked smile of amusement and cocked an eyebrow.

“Wha– I–”

“Hyung knows a lot more English than he likes to let on. He just doesn’t want to have to talk.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes while explaining. “It might help you relax? But you don’t have to if you don’t want any.” You looked down at the cup that Minho was holding up in between your bodies and then back up at his eyes.

He tilted his head with a smile that would normally seem innocent but looked almost teasing on his face. Never straying your eyes from his, you gingerly retrieved the cup from his hand and pulled it to your mouth. He didn’t move a muscle as you tilted back with eyes closed and appreciated the smooth, bittersweet beverage from the cup of the man that had just drank from it.

When you finished your sip and opened your eyes, you were beyond flustered to see that he was looking at your mouth. You couldn’t breathe as you licked the remaining wine off of your lips and watched as he moistened his own as well. When he looked back up to make eye contact, he smirked. “Good girl.”

GOOD GIRL?!?! DID LEE MINHO JUST CALL YOU ‘GOOD GIRL’?!?! You were dead. You could die then and there and be happy.

Unbeknownst to you, that was just the beginning.

Without reclaiming his cup, he stepped back and went to plop back down in his spot on the couch. You just stood there with wide eyes and jaw dropped as you saw them look at you with amusement. “You’re adorable, you know?” Hyunjin leaned forward and propped his elbows up on his knees. He then tilted his head and cutely asked, “Can I keep you?”

Fuck.

“Yah, Jinnie. Stop scaring the poor girl.” Felix grumbled and then turned back to your trembling form. “Ignore him, we just want to see you dance. Maybe even help you out if you’d let us.” He winked at you and you blushed furiously.

Fuck it. You downed the rest of the contents in the cup in one go because you needed all of the liquid courage you could get. When you sat the cup back down in front of Minho, he leaned forward, mimicking Hyunjin’s position, and smiled mischievously at you. You had to force yourself out of the grasp his eyes had you locked in.

“Um… what did you guys want to see me dance to?”

“You know more than one?!” Hyunjin’s eyes blew out and he grasped his heart dramatically. You couldn’t control the giggle from his antics and they all smiled at you, Minho attempting to hide his own grin behind his refilled cup.

“Yeah… I know a lot of them. You can choose one and I’ll see if I know the dance…” The three of them looked at you in amazement and disbelief at your words.

They continued talking for a moment amongst themselves and you, with no knowledge of what they were saying, just stood there looking at your restless feet. “Do you know the choreo for District 9?”

Shit. That was probably the most difficult one!

Still, you did know it…

You nervously chuckled. “Uhhh yeah, but I’ll probably be awful at it. It’s not an easy one.”

Felix and Hyunjin had giddy smiles while Minho looked at you with scrutiny. “Who’s part do you know?” Hyunjin looked at you with wide eyes.

You blushed furiously. Will they know your bias just by your answer? Surely not, right? Still, you were shy to admit it. You looked down as you twiddled your thumbs, unable to look at them as you answered. “Minho– I-I mean Lee Know…” You chanced a look up at him and he looked like he was trying to hide his smile once again.

“I want to see it!” Hyunjin raised his hand excitedly and eagerly looked at his other members. They both nodded as Minho pulled out his phone, his Anya sticker even more unrecognizable than the last time you saw him post a picture with it. He laid it in front of him with the song ready to play and then he held out an open palm to gesture to the floor, seemingly to order you into position.

You quickly complied and got into formation, which you quickly realized was a rather promiscuous position for a female dressed in fishnets and a skirt. Hey, don’t judge! it’s not every day you get to dress up for a concert! It was especially risque when you basically had your crotch aimed right at the ethereal beings in front of you. You tried to sit where you weren’t completely flashing them, but you looked really awkward doing it. You took a long, deep breath as you closed your eyes and then let your body take over once the song started.

Of course, it took an insane amount of concentration and willpower, but the more you got into it, the more confident you became. You knew you could do it as long as you imagined yourself just practicing regularly in your bedroom rather than in front of three of the most gorgeous men in the world that had probably already seen a full view of your panties at some point in the dance.

When the song was over, you stayed in formation until the three of them stood up and started applauding. You were dewy with sweat and your breathing was out of control, but you couldn’t help but feel partly proud of yourself and partly terrified of their critiques.

Hyunjin and Felix came to you on each side and hugged you tightly while slightly lifting you off the ground. You giggled as they hollered at you and Minho had his hands in his pockets in front of you with a smirk.

When they put you down, they kissed both sides of your cheeks in tandem and your soul felt like it had ascended to heaven. You looked at the two, completely gobsmacked, as they stood in front of you with bright smiles.

Hyunjin giggled. “That was amazing!”

“You really are an amazing dancer, noona!” Felix took your hand and squeezed it, which prompted Hyunjin to do the same with your other hand.

And, completely unexpectedly, Felix flashed an evil grin.

“Sooo, based on the video and this dance, I can only assume that Minho-hyung is your favorite among us?” The two in front of you looked back at the unassuming man that had sat back down.

You looked away when you felt all the blood rush to your face. The two cackled and Hyunjin said something in Korean to Minho. “Hey! Don’t tell him!”

“Too late, love. Like we said, he probably already knows what’s being said, anyway” The two boys released your hands and your face was mortified as you looked at Minho.

You were surprised to see that the tips of his ears were tinged in red and he had grabbed the wine bottle to fill up his cup once again. Hyunjin sounded patronizing when he rambled off something to Minho and the tallest received a threatening glare from the dance leader.

When you looked back at Felix, he looked like he was deep in thought. Then abruptly, it looked like a lightbulb went off in his head. “Hey, noona! Since you know hyung’s choreography to ‘Taste’, can Hyunjin and I dance it with you?!” Your heart dropped out of your ass, but by the look of the two boy’s pleading faces, you didn’t have it in you to refuse.

Again, you chuckled nervously. “I-I guess I can give it a shot…” They basically jumped for joy and Minho was already scrolling through his phone for the song. The other two got into position which prompted you to do the same as you calmed down your breathing and tried to not panic.

You heard the opening notes and it was a lot harder to concentrate when you knew they were dancing with you. Still, you did your best to represent the man you were performing for that had concentration written all over his features.

However, a little way into the song, you panicked.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Your move was supposed to have you splay your hand out over Hyunjin’s chest and waist but… there was no way in this goddamned universe that you could feel confident enough to touch him like that.

You didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, so you just hovered your hands over the correct areas. When you checked Minho’s expression, he had sat back against the cushions with his arms crossed and a cocked eyebrow.

Shit.

You could tell the others noticed too as the three of you continued to dance with their eyes bored into you.

Once the song ended, you were afraid to meet eyes with any of them. That was until you heard the velvety voice from the couch chime your name.

You snapped your head up to look at him, not expecting him to address you directly, and you realized he was walking right up to you. He spewed off something in Korean to the other two and then he gently grasped your hand. Holy fuck he’s touching me…

He guided you behind the two men that had lined up and you knew exactly what he was up to.

In the same dance formation, he grabbed your hand and wrapped it over the two men as he firmly pressed your full palm to Hyunjin’s chest, doing the same with your other hand on his abdomen. “Okay?” Minho said, still pressing your hands against the other’s chest.

You dumbly nodded and a tiny whimper escaped on your exhale. Your eyes bulged out as they all looked at you with raised eyebrows. “O-oh god, I’m so sorry!” You quickly pulled back your hands and held them over your mouth in humiliation.

“Don’t worry, love! Do you just feel uncomfortable touching us?” Felix said tentatively as if you would run away at the slightest movement. 

“I… I… I just don’t feel like I should be allowed to…” You looked down with a nervous chuckle and clasped your hands together in front of you. Without any words, you saw two lithe hands grasp your own as they detangled them. You looked up to see Hyunjin standing in front of you as he pulled your hands up to his chest.

“You can touch me all you want, pretty girl.” Hyunjin winked seductively and your eyes popped out of their sockets for the umpteenth time that night. “Are you okay with this?” Again, you were completely numb as you nodded your head, all of your focus committed to the feeling of his warm chest through his shirt under your hands.

He hummed lowly as he slowly moved your hands to press against his abs. Your eyes peered back up to see his expression and he was biting his lip with black eyes staring down at you.

You unintentionally moved your hands back up to his chest and balled your fists in his shirt with a gasp when you felt Felix wrap his arm around your waist. “You can touch any of us, really…” You felt like a caged mouse when he propped his chin up on your shoulder and your inner thoughts conjured the lewdest thoughts. “I was wondering… what could Hyunnie and I do to convince you to change your bias?” The thickly accented whisper sent shivers down your spine.

You looked at Hyunjin who had a dangerous smile, and then Minho who looked at you with dark, hungry eyes. It was as if he was giving you a nonverbal warning. You couldn’t help but want to rile him up.

You had NO CLUE how to read this situation, they couldn’t possibly be…? No… not possible, get your damned head out of the gutter.

That assumption was quickly rectified when Hyunjin slowly smoothed his hands over your hips and pulled you flush to him. “What about this?” He whispered mere centimeters from your face. You probably looked terrified, but the way your body involuntarily arched into him made him cockily smirk.

You could feel Felix’s arm tighten around you and he whispered his hot breath in your ear. “Or this?” That was when you felt the warm, wet press of his lips against the back of your neck. You loudly gasped, still in front of Hyunjin’s face, but your eyes closed from the sensation. Felix was still right next to your ear, but his voice sounded worried. “Is this okay, love? We can have someone take you home if you feel uncomfortab–”

“No!” Your arms wrapped around Hyunjin’s neck instinctively and they squeezed you as they softly laughed at your reaction. You had looked around the two to see that Minho had returned to the couch and was watching the three of you with an unreadable expression while sipping his wine.

“Well, in that case, I think I could convince you a bit more, yeah?” Hyunjin displayed that same fucking tongue prodding at his lips while he smiled at your frozen form that was locked in his eye contact. You knew your heart was beating out of your chest when Hyunjin looked down at your moistened lips and started leaning down to your face.

Surely he’s not… is he? No fucking way.

He touched his lips down on yours and if it weren’t for their strong grip on you, you would have melted into the floor. He was kissing you. HWANG FUCKING HYUNJIN WAS KISSING YOU!!!

You were as still as a statue, but he urged you to kiss back. And who were you to deny him?

Your lips started hesitantly gliding against his hungry ones and your arms tightened around his neck. He groped your hips more firmly as he pulled you even tighter against him. You heard a click of a tongue somewhere in the room and when Hyunjin pulled back, his cocky smile landed on Minho who was glaring daggers at him from the couch. 

You had no clue how to read the situation and, honestly, you were done trying to figure out these enigmatic men. Best to just go with the flow, right?

Before Hyunjin turned his attention back to you, your breath was stolen from you when Felix snatched you from his arms. Hyunjin whined and said something pouty in Korean, but Felix paid no attention to him. Instead, he guided you by your hips to sit on the sofa next to Minho.

You were shocked to see that he was almost as flustered as you were at the unexpected action, but you couldn’t look at him for long before Felix propped his knee up next to your leg and leaned over you to capture your lips. The kiss was a lot more sweet and gentle than Hyunjin’s had been.

That was until Felix made the first plunge to try and deepen the kiss with his tongue running over your lips. After you welcomed the intrusion, that sweet persona was nowhere to be found and you were blessed to see Lee Yongbok in his carnal form. His hands were cupping your jaw and he pressed your lips against his firmly with gnashing teeth and tongues.

When you finally remembered that there were two other people watching you, your lips froze. Felix pulled back to assess you, but then instantly wore a cocky smirk when he saw your blush and your wandering eyes over at the other two with your head hung low.

“What is it, love? Don’t like an audience, or do you not like any of this?” Felix tried to move to catch your eyes and catch them he did. You stared up at the man towering over you and you could see stars in his eyes. How could you say no to such a man? Well… men…

“I… I like this…” You couldn’t look him in the eye to admit it, instead, turning your head to look at the empty cups on the table. You knew your face was burning up and your attention was redirected as Hyunjin scrambled onto the other side of the couch to lean across Minho. 

“Felix, it’s not fair for you to steal her like that!” Hyunjin basically completely ignored Minho’s protests when he scrambled across the elder’s lap to try and steal another kiss. Just as his lips touched down on your cheek, the man stumbled to the floor. “Ow! Hyuuung!” He whined.

Minho sat next to you, seemingly very proud of himself for thwarting Hyunjin’s advances, as he caught you staring at him. Your face burned and you bit your lip while looking down at your hands again. Felix stopped hovering over you so he could try and get the limp, overdramatic man off the ground.

When you looked up, you saw that Minho was still looking at you with an ‘I will murder you in your sleep’ type of expression and your eyes widened in fear and anticipation. Before the other boys had returned their attention to you, Minho deftly moved closer to your trembling body.

You could swear you were hyperventilating when the man leaned in close to tower over you as you slid down to cower against the cushions. His expression was ravenous and yet there was a hint of apprehension to it. It wasn’t long before you had backed all the way up to the arm of the couch and his arms caged your head in against the cushions you had fallen back onto.

However, before he actually even touched you, his eyes searched yours. His breath stuttered momentarily before he breathed out in a low voice. “Is this okay?” 

Your breath hitched and you couldn’t think about anything but the man over you. His eyes were beautiful and lustful and his tongue peeked out to moisten his plump lips. He was so motherfucking beautiful you wanted to cry. What had you done to be blessed with such close proximity to a specimen such as him? Hell, even this whole situation in general was too good to be true!

You numbly nodded and then stupidly asked, “Is it okay with you?” 

You wanted to slap yourself silly once he giggled down at you, but you quickly got over it when his strong hand reached up to your face and tucked your hair behind your ear. He pushed the hair off your neck when he lowered his face down to your ear. “Yes, jagiya.”

That’s it, you were done. How the hell was he not committing manslaughter by saying shit like that? Your breathing alone could kill you, not to mention your heart!

When you felt the warm, wet press of lips to your jaw, a completely inhuman noise came from your mouth. The universe was both against you and in your favor simultaneously. You heard a chuckle and the lips against your skin grinned at the embarrassing noise, and when Minho looked up at you, you decided that your embarrassment was worth it.

He looked like he wanted to eat you. But as he leaned in to finally press his lips to yours, Hyunjin tackled him, shoving the elder off of your melted body before you could even get a whisper of a touch of the eldest’s lips. Felix quickly swooped in and stole you from their wrestling.

He gently stood you up and dragged you away from them, taking your hand and leading you to the giant bed in the center of the room. He sat down on the plush duvet with your hand in his small ones as you stood in front of him. He bit his lip and almost looked shy for a half second, but soon a bright smile spread across his face and he let your hand go. Instead, he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you between his parted legs.

While still sitting in front of you, he pressed up against you and nuzzled his face right up in your goddamned pubic bone. 

At that point, you knew your panties were fucked. 

He looked up at you when a shaky breath escaped your lips. His smile was blinding. “Do you mind if we play with you tonight, love?” He emphasized the word ‘play’ to let you know that he didn’t just mean any fucking Monopoly game or some shit. They wanted you.

His voice was sickly sweet and you gasped as you felt a pair of hands, seemingly Hyunjin’s hands, come in behind you to start rubbing up your abdomen to your bra line as he kissed his way down your neck to the collar of your sheer blouse, teasing the material with his teeth. They weren’t necessarily crossing any lines, not by any of your own standards anyway, but they made sure to not overwhelm you.

I mean, yeah, you were definitely overwhelmed, but in the best of ways. You were pretty sure they could fucking curbstomp you and you would thank them and ask for seconds. 

“I…” God, why were you so timid? “I… I like playing…” You said before biting your lip and looking away with a cherry-red face.

When you turned away, you could have sworn you caught a glimpse of Minho ‘adjusting’ himself off to the side. Maybe you weren’t the only one desperate for touch…

The boys caging you in ended up regaining your attention when you felt the hands on your abdomen move to unbutton your shirt. You whimpered when you felt Hyunjin’s hands finally graze up your bare stomach and eventually cresting the curve of your breasts to grope over the material of your bra, his hot breath continuing to fan over the sensitive skin of your neck all the while.

Your upper body unintentionally leaned back into him as he continued his assault on your neck. However, Felix wouldn’t let you get far as he, too, had a strong grip on your hips, and your arms gravitated to rest on top of the blonde’s shoulders. You could feel his hands reach around to grope your ass and you just about went limp from their firm holds on you. You could just lay there all day and let them do whatever the fuck they wanted to.

You mewled when Felix lowered his head again, this time completely burying his face in between your legs as he nuzzled over your clothed core. That, plus Hyunjins rock hard dick pressing into your ass made you whine pathetically. You heard a chuckle from the couch and saw Minho leaning back on it again.

He laughed at your obvious desperation and you whined again. The boys that were torturing you maintained their stance, not moving any further and Minho bit his lip. You could definitely confirm he was palming himself now as he walked up to you and grabbed your chin with one hand.

“Yongbok-ah?” He murmured while never straying his eyes from yours. You felt the movement on your core stop and Minho, very slowly and deeply with his velvety voice said another sentence you couldn’t understand. 

Felix spoke up with a chuckle and Minho kept his eyes locked on yours while the younger one translated. “Hyung said that Jinnie and I could try all we want, but he won’t let the night end until he has convinced you that you belong to only him.”

Your breath was shaky and you squealed when he moved in and you finally got to taste those beautiful, plump lips. His tongue tasted sweet from the wine and you groaned in ecstasy. You were in heaven and you refused to ever come down.

You were ripped from your brief bliss when Hyunjin took matters into his own hands and dragged you away by your waist. Before you knew it, Hyunjin had lifted you onto the bed and your head was laid comfortably on the plush pillows.

Hyunjin had the devil’s laugh on his face as he crawled up to hover over you. “Just relax, angel. I’ll show you who you really want.” Hyunjin’s playful smile was replaced with hunger and he tentatively grasped the remaining unbuttoned part of your shirt, hinting at a question. You immediately sat up and took it the rest of the way off.

Once you were back down, his lips eagerly attacked the swell of your breast as his hands fumbled behind you to remove your mesh bra. When he finally deciphered the way to unlatch it, you moaned when he latched his mouth onto your nipple, lithe fingers playing with the other.

While he had his head down, you saw Felix walk over from where he and Minho had moved to stand at the foot of the bed. His eyes were glued to your breasts and the man devouring them until he reached the head of the bed where you were looking up at him with heavy lids and a lustful moan on the tip of your tongue. 

He caressed your cheek and smiled at you when you whined from his thumb running over your bottom lip. “So sweet…” He propped his hand up by your head as he bent over to lazily kiss you, the action getting more and more needy with each passing second. You felt Felix’s small hand replace Hyunjin’s on the breast that he wasn’t sucking the life out of and he squeezed it in earnest.

You cried out when Felix moved down as well and then you had a pair of lips on both of your breasts. You scrunched your eyes from the intense arousal you were feeling, and when you opened them again, Minho was looking straight into your eyes with crossed arms and a raised brow that almost seemed like he was challenging you.

God, you were so gone.

You gasped when you felt a hand glide up your inner thigh and under your skirt to cup over your clothed mound and start palming it, bringing sweet pressure to where you were aching profusely. Hyunjin then raised his head to yours and breathed against your lips when he brought his hand back up and thumbed at the waistband of your skirt. “Is this okay, noona?”

You nodded your head frantically, breath obviously picking up, and he quickly followed through, hastily sliding his slim fingers under the waistband of the offending clothing and shucking them, your fishnet tights, and your lace panties off of you. You felt red all over from the fact that you were stripped down completely naked for these three men that hadn’t even removed a shred of clothing.

Feeling a bit self-conscious, especially because Felix also relented his attack and they all three were gawking at you, you squeezed your legs shut and involuntarily crossed an arm over your breasts and the other over your stomach. You wanted to keep going, you just wished they wouldn’t just stand there and stare.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry, noona.” The ray of sunshine noticed your discomfort and gently caressed your bare thigh. “You are just so beautiful, we can’t help but stare. Are you still alright?” It warmed your heart that Felix was still focused on your comfort after all of this and you gave him a shy smile when you nodded. He had to bite back his giddy grin and he quickly removed his shirt, Hyunjin received the hint and did the same right after.

And holy hell. It was just so unfair to be that insanely gorgeous.

Hyunjin lowered himself back down over you with a cocky grin. “Now who’s staring?”

Your face burst into flames and you looked away with a small “S-sorry”. He just chuckled and grabbed your chin to look back at him. “I didn’t say I minded. You can look all you want.” He licked his lips hungrily. “You can touch too…” He said as he grabbed your hand to glide over his naked abdomen. His voice turned to a whisper in your ear. “...anywhere you want…” His hand dragged your own down the length of his stomach and then splayed your palm out over the crotch of his pants to feel his prominent bulge.

OH. MY. GOD.

“You did this to me, noona…” He whispered again, pressing your palm against his tumescence more firmly to reiterate. You gasped in response and kept your hand there when he slowly released you. “Do you want to help me take care of it?” His low voice, his hooded eyes, his everything was dripping in the personification of sex and you tentatively pressed your palm against him again and he groaned into your neck. “Fuck… that’s it…”

His hand landed on your upper thigh and you started hyperventilating. That was until Felix captured your mouth again in another powerful kiss and distracted you from your obvious panic. However, your mouth gaped open against his as you emitted a loud moan when Hyunjin’s fingers found your clit.

“Oh fuck, noona… You’re so wet for us, baby…” You could hear Hyunjin’s voice drift down your body as you continued to tangle tongues with the youngest of the three. This boy has been working on his English dirty talk, hasn’t he? However, you unintentionally unlatched yourself and threw your head back with a loud moan when you felt Hyunjin’s warm mouth close around your clit and start sucking.

Felix elected to focus his efforts elsewhere as well and he properly climbed onto the bed next to you as he returned his mouth to your nipples. You were whining and writhing beneath the ministrations of the both of them and they both firmly gripped your hips still. 

You quickly realized that your eyes had fluttered shut in the heat of the moment and you snapped them open again, not wanting to miss a single moment of this batshit crazy experience.

However, when you opened your eyes, you immediately latched them onto the man at the end of the bed. Minho had the most predatory glare on his face and he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was palming himself while looking at you. You bit your lip and whimpered when he finally dipped his hand under the waistband of his sweatpants and let his jaw slightly fall open as he worked himself up.

Abruptly, without warning, you half groaned, half whined when you felt Hyunjin’s long, lithe finger slip into you and you couldn’t control it when your hips bucked up into his face. He chuckled against your core and then raised his smiling and slick wet face to look at you. “Does that feel good, baby?” 

You couldn’t speak, you just nodded your head frantically.

You shrieked when Felix nipped your swollen nipple and soothed it with his tongue when he looked back up at you. “Jinnie asked you a question, love. Be a good girl and answer him, yeah?”

“Yes! Oh my god, yes…” Your voice was wistful and fucked out as your hips kept moving on their own accord.

“These fingers are nothing compared to what I have in store for you…” Hyunjin looked at your body with hungry eyes as he wet his lips. “But, first, I wanna see how much I can make you fall apart…”

And without further ado, he plunged down into your cunt again with vigor as Felix reattached himself to your lips and his hands gained purchase on your breasts. His tongue snaked its way into your mouth while Hyunjin’s sneaked its way into your folds. Your breathing was erratic, and your kiss with Felix turned into more of a breathy moan against his lips.

Eventually, Felix’s kisses moved their way down to your neck and then back to your nipples. He apparently was really fixated on them that night. You looked back up to see that all the while Minho was unabashedly getting closer, having his hand moving at a slow, steady pace inside his pants.

One of your lifeless hands was suddenly being gently maneuvered by Felix to press your palm against the tent in his sweats and you gasped at the heat that emitted from his bulge. A random bout of courage was pulled out of your lust-ridden brain and you used both hands to clumsily untie his waistband, resulting in the man sitting up to stare at you in wonder. You looked up at him with pleading eyes in a silent request for their removal, pulling at both his pants and his underwear.

All he responded with was a blinding smile and chaste kiss to your lips before scrambling off the bed to remove said items. And, man, that lean boy did not disappoint…

However, in the process of doing that, Hyunjin advanced his efforts tenfold and you started to feel your core start to snap. One of your hands flew to tangle in his soft locks as you pulled him ever closer to you in an attempt to chase your high. He definitely knew what he was doing. One last flick of his tongue and a particularly delicious press of his fingers against your g-spot had you seeing stars as you came all over Hwang Hyunjin’s face.

Your head was thrown back in a silent cry (no pun intended) as he led you through your orgasm with lazy pumps of his fingers and when he retreated and you came back to reality, you wanted to crawl in a hole and die from embarrassment.

All three men were breathing heavily with blown-out eyes as they stared at you in awe of your orgasm. You didn’t have much time to soothe the reddening of your face because Felix abruptly jumped on top of you and devoured your lips. The fact that this gorgeous creature was completely butt-ass-naked on top of you with his leaking cock pressed up against your hip was making you dizzy and your hands moved on their own when you realized that you wanted nothing more than to feel him.

His mouth groaned against yours when you pressed your cupped palm over his erection and you whimpered at the feeling. You took the plunge and gently wrapped your fingers around him and started pumping your fist. Felix detached himself from your lips and slumped his forehead against yours as his heavy breathing stuttered.

“Fuck, love. You’re doing so good for us…” He choked out and pecked your cheek as he leaned in to whisper against your ear. “How would you like to feel us inside of you?” You felt the sinful words seep into your skin and mingle with every nerve ending in your body. The shiver of your body was beyond involuntary and a shuttered breath escaped your lips.

He sat up to look you in the eyes directly, taking the hand that you had wrapped around his dick, and started moving it for you when it unintentionally froze from the proposition. “I-I… Y-you…” Felix cut off your rambling with another chaste kiss to your lips.

“If you would rather stop here, we can…” He sounded a bit sullen with each word, and it warmed your heart that he wanted to make sure you were still comfortable.

Just as he started to pull away, you wrapped your free arm around his neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss, your other hand continuing to jerk him off slowly. “G-god, Felix. This is a fucking dream…” You mumbled against his lips.

You could feel the bright smile of his against your lips and he broke away to inquire again. “Is that a yes?” He said with a hopeful smile.

Your eyes surely had stars in them as you looked up at his glowing features. You meekly nodded and your voice sounded more like a whine when you quietly whimpered a short, “Please…”

With that said, he jovially leaped off of you and you grumbled your disappointment and sat up to watch the three men hover around a duffle bag. You shouldn’t have been surprised to see the three of them turn back to you with a condom in each of their hands, all of them looking at you as if they were famished and you were their buffet. 

“Um… Felix?”

Said boy tilted his head in query. “What is it, love?”

You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks as you shyly looked down at the sheets clenched between your fingers. “I don’t know if this changes anything for you, but…” You chanced a glance up at his beautiful face that had confusion written all over his features. “I… I have a birth control implant… and I’m clean… so you don’t really need…” You fixed your eyes on the prophylactic in his hand. “...you know…” You were suddenly too shy to say it outright.

Said item was instantly dropped to the floor as he stared at you in shock. The other two looked panicked and stepped up to him, immediately questioning what your words meant. After he numbly translated, the other two men’s faces comically morphed to match their Australian member’s expression.

You panicked. “But I don’t mind either way! I totally understand if you still want to use precautions and all–” Before you could mutter another syllable, he was on you in an instant, silencing you with his lips.

“Fuck, love. There’s no way we deserve you.” He kissed you again and sat up to cup your cheeks and intensely look you in the eyes. “Are you absolutely sure about this?” Relieved, you smiled at the beautiful man.

“Absolutely.” And with that, Hyunjin joined Felix as he, too, pounced on you like a predator.

Minho, who still had all of his clothes on, just continued to watch as the other two caged you in. “How do you want to do this, baby? Who do you want first? Or do you want both?” Hyunjin had a mischievous smile as he slowly removed his pants and boxers as well and gave your body a sinful once-over. Your eyes bulged out of your head at the sight of him.

You suddenly felt incredibly small under their gaze and beautiful naked bodies. “U-um… I don’t mind either way… I just want to be here for all of you. You can have me however you want…” Your words were bold but your voice was meek and their hungry gazes went gentle.

“Such a sweet baby…” Hyunjin said as they hovered over you and slowly kissed their way down from your jaw to your neck on each side. You wanted to touch them so badly. 

With a sudden bout of courage, you tentatively took their cocks in each hand from where they hovered at your sides and put in all of your effort to try and please them. They let out a surprise groan and Hyunjin muttered something to Felix in Korean, immediately scooting over so Felix could position himself between your legs.

Hyunjin stepped back, relinquishing your grasp on his dick and you quivered at the man on top of you that was staring into your soul. Felix had already replaced your hand on his cock and you arched your back when he ran the tip through your folds and over your clit. 

You had achieved a core memory from the feeling of his burning hot touch.

“You sure about this, love?” He searched your eyes once more and you had decided your patience had run out. You grabbed the back of his head and crushed his lips to your own, followed by a breathy whisper against his lips.

“Please, Felix… I want you so bad…” Your whimpered words earned a grin on the boy’s angelic face and you slowly felt him stretch you open as he entered you. 

Your jaw dropped as you groaned against his lips and he kissed you again, minutely stifling the noises that were so very desperate to escape your mouth from the feeling of his slow intrusion. It had been so long since you’d had sex that you forgot how overwhelming the first push was.

Once he was fully sheathed inside you, he pulled back to look at your face only to find a slack jaw and scrunched-up eyes. You felt the presence of Hyunjin on your right, slowly shushing your whimpers as he tried to distract you with wet kisses along your jaw and neck. “Shhh, you’re doing great, baby girl. Taking our Yongbokkie so well.” He briefly turned to Felix. “How does she feel, Lixie-ah?”

Felix groaned and dropped his forehead to meet yours and you finally pried your eyes back open so you could take in the proximity of his angelic face. “She feels amazing Jinnie…” Felix moaned loudly when you clenched around him and he used the hand that he wasn’t using to hold himself above you to reach down and lift your left leg higher, letting himself push deeper. “I’m not sure how long I’ll last.”

You watched as Felix lifted his head to watch Hyunjin reach down and play with your clit, and they both locked eyes with you when you whined at the sensitivity. Hyunjin smirked playfully and looked back at Felix. The freckled man’s face, which was once holding burning embers, was now looking up at Hyunjin with heart eyes as he towered over the both of you. 

“You gonna get her all wet and ready for me Lix?” Hyunjin asked the younger boy with a smoldering grin, never relenting in the slow torture of his fingers on your clit. Felix nodded frantically and, just like that, he turned back to you with a cocky grin.

“Does it hurt? Can I move, sweet thing?” He lowered his lips back down to your jaw and placed a chaste kiss there while waiting for your answer.

“God, please.” You sighed wistfully.

That was all the incentive he needed to pull all the way back to the tip, and then slam all the way back to your cervix with full force. You cried out in pleasure and he set a brutal pace, Hyunjin’s fingers finally leaving your swollen bundle of nerves to start playing with your nipples and return his lips to your neck. There was no doubt going to be a mess of hickeys all over your body and you trembled at the thought.

With the boys attacking both sides of your neck, you were, again, faced with the man at the end of the bed. He tilted his head and raised his eyebrow at you again to challenge or mock you, you weren’t quite sure which… maybe both. However, with the way he palmed his bulge over his pants, and seeing how the tips of his ears were bright red, he was definitely excited for more.

You were so gone for these men that you wanted to really chalk it up for them. With Felix still pounding into you, you slowly rolled your tongue over your bottom lip before biting down on it and throwing your eyes and head back with the most pornographic moan you could muster.

When you raised your head again, all three men were staring down at you with shock written on their faces. You couldn’t let the embarrassment sink in long, however, because your action brought Felix to his climax.

The sight of Lee Felix’s face during orgasm was like being shot in the heart with a poison that spread heat throughout your every nerve ending. There was no describing it. You could feel the force of his cum shoot deep inside you and you felt dizzy as he rode himself through it.

“Holy hell, love…” He dropped down to kiss you messily. “You’re a goddamned dream…” He leaned back and looked at your sweating and panting form and offered the sweetest of smiles. However, Hyunjin interjected with a slap on Felix’s ass and everyone breathily chuckled at the yelp that escaped his mouth. “Yah!”

“Don’t be a hog, Lixie-ah!” He looked back at you while still talking to Felix. “I’ve been dying to rearrange her insides…” He poked that damned tongue out the side of his mouth and ran his eyes up and down your frame, making you shiver from the intensity.

You winced when Felix’s softening cock was pulled out of you and he retreated from between your legs but gasped when Hyunjin took his place and grabbed both of your ankles. He smiled sinfully at you and propped your legs up on his shoulders as he lined up with you.

Hyunjin was definitely longer than Felix because as he breached your entrance and your breathing picked up again from the delicious feeling of him sliding through your walls, pushing Felix’s seed even deeper inside you, you choked on air when he kept pushing further against your cervix until you felt honest-to-god tears run down your cheeks. He froze just before he was completely flush with you and he looked panicked.

“W-wha– did I– are you o-okay?” He momentarily struggled with his English as he stuttered the words and you quickly wrapped your arms and legs around him when you felt him try to pull out.

“N-no! I’m okay! Gwenchana! Gwenchana!” You put your hand over your mouth at your outburst and giggled at yourself, thankfully making the other men relax as well. “I-I think you might just be too… ahem…” Why were you so shy?

He sweetly smiled and leaned down to kiss you, seemingly understanding your meek words. “Do you want to lead then?”

You really didn’t know what you wanted, but if he kept going at that rate, he might really rearrange your insides. Your shy nod brought an endeared smile to his face and, before you could even prepare yourself, he quickly pulled out and tumbled backward to lay on his back, pulling you on top of him to face the foot of the bed. You gasped and briefly saw Felix and Minho mumbling something off to the side with Minho responding with a cute giggle.

You looked down at Hyunjin who was devouring you with his eyes and running his hands up and down your hips and thighs. “I like seeing you on top of me, baby.” You bit your lip and sprung into action, lifting your hips and grabbing his cock to line him up. Your eyes were glued to his gorgeous face when you slowly lowered yourself down on him and saw his long lashes flutter in euphoria.

There was no getting over how unreal this was. You felt dizzy as every inch of him dragged across your sensitive walls and you slightly jerked your hips up when his tip pushed against your bruised cervix. His face screwed shut as he seemed to try and hold back from fucking up into you.

Honestly, some twisted part of you wanted him to.

When you wiggled your hips back down, you took deep breaths and ground against him until the pleasure started to weigh out the pain. When his hips accidentally twitched up into you, you let out a strangled cry and Hyunjin reached up to cup your face in his hands.

“I’m sorry baby. You just feel so good…”

You naturally leaned down until your lips collided again and all you could respond with was a small ‘more’ mumbled against his lips. His eyes flew open and you planted your hands on each of his pecs, silently pleading with your eyes as you continued to grind against him.

That was when his eyes turned dark and his fingers dug into your hips and ass with bruising force. The powerful thrust that followed had you seeing stars.

He had planted his feet onto the bed and started fucking up into you at a brutal pace, muttering both English and Korean expletives under his breath as his hands moved their grasp to fondle your bouncing breasts. That was when you felt Felix’s presence return and start kissing down your neck to meet one of the nipples that Hyunjin’s fingers were teasing.

You whined loudly and threw your head back when Hyunjin harshly pinched the nipple to allow Felix’s tongue to suck and flick the sensitive bud. You returned your hooded eyes to the men when you felt your breasts being released. The following sight made you want to scream.

Hyunjin had grabbed Felix’s jaw and they stared directly into each other’s eyes when Hyunjin forced two of his fingers into Felix’s mouth. The younger man fluttered his eyes and moaned around the digits, sucking and licking around them enthusiastically.

When Hyunjin finally pulled his fingers away, he and Felix continued to stare at each other for a moment, seemingly frozen in time. You whined when Hyunjin slowed down his hips, and that seemed to knock them out of their trance.

Hyunjin regained his cocky demeanor and lowered his spit-slick fingers down to your clit. One particular thrust sprung tears to your eyes, and you cried out when his fingers started circling around your bliss button. You were far too close to climax and both of the men knew it.

After some strangled mumbling from Hyunjin’s mouth, words completely foreign to you, Felix swiftly stood up on the bed and stood his legs on each side of Hyunjin’s torso. His newly awakened erection stood proud in front of your face and you wasted no time wrapping your lips around it and humming at the taste of your own lingering juices on his skin.

The beautiful man sighed in pleasure and tangled his fingers in your hair, his practiced muscles keeping him balanced as Hyunjin continued to pound into you. You worked your mouth and tongue with gusto and once you wrapped your hands around his length as well, you knew you could get him to cum in no time.

“F-fuck… how are you so fucking *ngh* good at this?” Felix muttered in the deepest voice you’ve ever heard and it made you tighten your pussy around Hyunjin’s cock, earning a beautiful moan from his plump lips. “S-shit, love– I’m cummin’...” Felix tried to pull away, but you just wrapped your arms around him to grab his perky ass and pull him further into the tight ring of your esophagus.

You looked up as you felt the first spurts of cum hit your throat, and you were once again blessed with the beautiful sight of Lee Felix’s face of ecstasy. He heaved for a moment once he was done riding out his high and pulled out of your abused mouth. He looked like he was in a trance when he looked down at you and cupped your jaw. However, when you took a big gulp of the cum swimming around in your mouth, his whole demeanor changed.

Felix lowered himself back down to you as he sat to the side of Hyunjin again, a dangerous smile forming on his angelic face as he closed in on your ear, lightly grazing his teeth over the shell of it. “Tell us what you want, love. I know there is something going on in that pretty head of yours…”

He continued kissing and sucking his way down your neck as he waited for a response. There was no way in hell you would be able to voice what you had been fantasizing about.

However, the longer that you were silent, the more aggressive Felix became. 

Almost as if it was planned, Felix harshly bit your shoulder as Hyunjin grabbed your hips and slammed you down on his cock. The few tears that you were holding back sprang from your eyes now and Hyunjin growled at you. “Felix asked you a question, baby girl. I think you’d better answer it.”

You looked up to Minho with pleading eyes, and all he did was raise an eyebrow at you condescendingly. You whimpered in defeat and lowered your head, not being able to look at any of them in the eyes as the words left your mouth.

“Lixie…?” Said man leaned back to await your response. “C-can you…” Gosh, you were so embarrassed, how would you be able to get the words out?

Your body naturally ground down on Hyunjin due to loss of stimulation, and he landed a powerful slap on your ass because of it, immediately returning his hands to their vice grip on your hips to keep them still.

You whined pathetically and looked between the two boys whose hands were currently rubbing and groping your body simultaneously. You returned your vision to your own hands which were fidgeting against Hyunjin’s chest and took a deep breath.

“Can you… like… kiss Hyunjin’s neck or something?”

You started getting anxious when you didn’t hear a response and you looked up to gauge their reactions. You saw their shocked faces for half a second until Felix grabbed your face and kissed your lips passionately.

“God, you’re a fucking dream.” Felix whispered against your lips and then he immediately turned around to bury his face in the other man’s neck.

Hyunjin immediately groaned while exposing his neck for further access for the Australian boy, and you whimpered a quiet ‘yesss’ when Hyunjin slammed you down on his cock as far as you could go, repeating the action with dizzying force.

Felix did everything you could’ve hoped for and more. He devoured the other man’s slim neck, while running his hands up and down the length of his torso, ending the journey of his fingers on one of the older man’s nipples. 

Hyunjin grunted and built up his pace again, meeting you halfway as you bounced up and down on his throbbing cock. The three of you had a thick sheen of sweat on you and your eyes were glued to the two beautiful men under you.

You just about started to protest when Felix pulled his head away from the patch of skin he was attacking, but what he did next made all the words instantly die on your tongue.

He grabbed Hyunjin’s face with both hands and immediately locked their lips together, tongues soon intertwining in a practiced dance. Your eyes were glued to them so intently, that you didn’t even notice Minho climbing on the bed to press up against your back.

You gasped when you felt him against you with his rock-hard cock pressing between your ass cheeks through his pants. The ghosting of his breath against your neck leading up to your ear made you shiver. “What a dirty girl you are.” You felt him smile against your jaw and instead of kissing the patch of skin as you had anticipated, you felt his hands wrap around you and pinch your nipples hard. 

That is what sent you over the edge and your climax came crashing down like waves rolling over you. The two men separated when they heard you scream out in pleasure from your lingering high so they could watch as you worked through your orgasm. You could feel Hyunjin’s legs shake beneath you as he pistoned up into you violently and you knew he was close as well. 

Hyunjin growled something you couldn’t translate and his hips stuttered with shallow thrusts as he emptied inside you. The wet lips of the eldest that ran up and down your neck and shoulder kept prolonging your orgasm and you twisted your head around so you could curl your fingers in his hair and pull him in for a sloppy kiss. You could hear a low growl in the back of his throat and it kept you clenching around Hyunjin’s spent dick.

Hyunjin’s whole body went limp after a few more thrusts and you detached your lips from Minho to pull yourself off of Hyunjin’s twitching dick to collapse between him and Felix. The men smiled at you fondly as they gently ran their fingers up and down the smooth skin of your abdomen and a wave of exhaustion crashed over you. Your eyes were closed and you were panting heavily, trying to get ahold of your bearings.

You took a moment to collect yourself behind your closed lids, however, your eyes flew open when you felt a gentle hand nudge your arm.

What the fuck?

You found yourself tucked snugly underneath the fluffy comforter of the huge bed with only a single light on in the corner of the otherwise dark room. You shifted slightly and realized you were still naked, but you could tell they had cleaned you up before tucking you in. Your eyes followed up to the owner of the gentle hand on your shoulder to be met with a shy-looking Lee Know offering you a bottle of much-needed water. You looked around the rest of the room and found that Felix and Hyunjin were nowhere to be found.

How the fuck did I fall asleep so fast?

You shimmied your way up into a sitting position against the headboard, nodding your head with a small “thank you” in Korean as you gratefully accepted his offering. You guzzled down the water as if you had never tasted anything so delectable in your entire life. Once you finished, he took the empty container from you. “More?” He asked with an adorable head tilt.

You internally swooned and you were sure you looked as dazed as you felt as you looked at the ethereal man. “Please…” You mumbled, eyes completely lost within his own.

He smirked (because of course he knew the effect he had on you) and stood to go retrieve another bottle from the mini-fridge.

Once you had repeated your assault on the second bottle and rejected his offer for another, he sat down next to you on the bed and hesitantly took your hand in his. “How are you feeling?” He shyly asked as he played with your fingers.

As if you weren’t already gone enough for the man, this small considerate question had you even more hopeless than before.

You knew he knew basic English, so you decided to reply simply. “Good, thank you…” You couldn’t stop the bashful smile that bloomed on your face and the crooked smile he gave in return was too much for your eyes (and heart) to handle.

“Hyunjin-ah and Yongbokkie went to bed… um…” He looked up in thought as if he was trying to think of how to say what he wanted in English. “They said they will, um, see you… in morning-time?” He stated the words like a question as if he wasn’t sure if he was conveying the words correctly, you just nodded in understanding. “Are you okay to stay with me tonight?”

You felt electricity shoot up your spine. Who in their right mind would ever deny that kind of invitation? You probably seemed a bit too over-eager as you nodded your head profusely with an immediate “yes!”

He let out the cutest of giggles and hesitantly brought his hand up to brush some of your (surely sex-crazed) hair out of your face. He let his hand linger there as his eyes flickered between both of your own. He muttered a small “cute” in Korean (an easy enough word to translate) and moved to cup your rosy cheek.

“Minho?” He looked startled as you suddenly addressed him by name. You at least knew enough Korean to mutter a small question. “Will you kiss me?” He was definitely caught off guard by your question. His face flushed momentarily, but then he quickly crashed his lips into yours, moving his hands to pull you in by the back of your neck.

You sighed into the kiss and he hummed in response. His tongue tentatively snaked into your mouth and you couldn’t help but think of the duality from his earlier demeanor to the gentle and careful man you were swapping spit with now.

However, that thought was short-lived as his kisses got more and more hungry, his hands gravitating down your back and hips to firmly grope your ass. There was no way you could control the small moan that escaped your mouth as you felt him spread your bare ass cheeks just to release them so they would bounce back to their original place where you were sitting.

You felt the edges of his lips tilt upwards and your body naturally gravitated up on your knees so you could get even closer to him. He then took it upon himself to lift your bare body up by your ass to straddle his seated form. 

Your whole body was sore and you were pretty sure you were cramping from your abused cervix, but you had absolutely zero complaints as you pressed up against the man you had longed for for the longest time. Never did you imagine that you would ever be blessed enough to meet this man, let alone to be in this position on top of him.

You pulled away from the kiss so you could, once again, take in the sight of the god-like-looking man beneath you. His two blown-out orbs stared back at you and you ran your fingers through his silky locks. Your breath hitched in your throat before your raspy voice spoke the words. “I want you, Minho…”

He could barely contain his smile when he quirked his brow. “Oh yeah? Then who do you belong to?” Your eyes widened at his confident English and you bit your lip, eyes drifting up and down his gorgeous body.

“Y-you…” You could feel your rosy cheeks burn furiously.

The hands he was groping your ass with pulled you suffocatingly closer. “Anyone else?” You saw the possessiveness in his eyes and you couldn’t help but feel a bit prideful from it.

“Only you, Minho. Always you…” Before you could even take your next breath, the man had flipped you over to lay your back against the silky sheets once again, his predatory face inches from your own.

You expected him to be harsh and rough you up a bit, but he surprised you. He looked into your eyes with wonder written on his features. “You’re so beautiful, noona…” He said as he stared you down. You felt a shutter wrack your body, but your mind was lost in his eyes.

You could only respond with a wistful sigh and he eventually lowered his head to bury in the crook of your neck. The wet heat of his lips against your pulse made you melt into the sheets and you moaned when he fixed himself between your legs, pressing his clothed erection against your wet clit.

His hands gently grabbed your arms and slowly raised them above your head, his fingers gliding up your skin to eventually grasp your hands as he ground against you. His lips trailed down your chest to your breast so he could suck one of your abused nipples into his mouth.

When you mewled, he propped himself up on his knees so he could rid himself of his shirt and your eyes widened as your hands moved unbidden to glide over the toned skin of his abdomen. He studied your face as your fingers explored his chest, gliding all the way down to the waistband of his sweatpants. You licked your lips at the delectable sight of his raging boner and your fingers played with the edge of the fabric, your gaze drifting back up to meet his smoldering eyes. 

He took it upon himself to stand and remove both his pants and boxers and holy shit… how was his dick drop-dead gorgeous too?! The man eagerly returned to his spot between your legs only, this time, it was his face hovering over your cunt. He gently raised his hands to lightly flick your nipples, making you squeak and then moved his feather-light touch down your body to finally gain purchase on the back of your knees.

Your breathing started to pick up when he hoisted your thighs over his shoulders so you could feel his hot breath fan over your sensitive labia. His eyes, which had been fixated on yours the entire time, finally drifted down to stare at your glistening folds and he closed his eyes in bliss when he finally sucked them into his mouth and moved his tongue through them to find your throbbing clit.

You wanted to cry it felt so good. You didn’t know if he was just a god at eating pussy or if it was just the fact that it was him doing it that brought you to the edge so quickly, but the sensation overwhelmed you too much to think about it. You cried his name over and over again and when he finally snaked his tongue inside you, you grabbed his hair and wailed.

“Oh my god, Minho! Yes! Fuck– holy sh– ngh! Yesyesyes right there! Fff–” You looked down at the gorgeous face in between your legs and you could see a smile in his eyes as you came all over his face. “Ah– Ahhhhh!” You had never had an orgasm so intense and you wanted to reward him for it.

When you finally came down from your high, you pulled him off of you and moved him to stand. He looked confused as you maneuvered him, but quickly changed his demeanor when you took his cock in your hand and swallowed him in one go, making him choke on his own breath. “H-holy fuck–” He gasped.

He was too big to deep throat, but you used all the tricks in the book to give him the best head he has ever had and by the way he was responding, you assumed you were succeeding. He was groaning and kept switching from throwing his head back in ecstasy and looking down at you with fire in his eyes. His jaw was clenched and he was definitely holding back from just full-on fucking your face.

Part of you wanted him to. You wanted him to absolutely wreck your throat until you couldn’t speak anymore, but your aching pussy overpowered that desire. You needed him buried inside you right fucking now.

He puffed out a huge breath that he had apparently been holding when you pulled off of him with a *pop* and crawled backward to spread your legs invitingly. He wasted no time in pouncing on top of you to assault your lips and you whimpered against his mouth when you felt him tease the tip of his penis between your folds.

You whined against his lips. “M-Minho… p-please I need you so badly… please…” He smiled devilishly.

“Fuck, jagiya. You’re perfect…” He used the hand that wasn’t being used to hold himself above you and grabbed you by the jaw to look straight into his hooded eyes. Your pupils were surely blown out and your eyes were gaping as he slowly pushed his way inside you. The stretch was somewhat painful with how thick he was, but the pleasure weighed out the pain once he reached your beaten-up cervix.

“F-fuck, Min…” Your hands scrambled to hold onto something to keep you grounded and one ended up digging into his back and the other grabbed onto his hair, making him groan.

“Gwenchana?” His eyes had squeezed shut in euphoria and you’re sure he didn’t even realize he had switched back to Korean.

You whispered back against his lips, unable to speak any louder. “Gwenchana…” You reassured.

He opened his eyes and for the first time that night, you saw him smile at you with the fondest grin you had ever seen from the man. The drag against your walls was delicious as he pulled back and the both of you cried out into each other’s mouths when he thrust back into you.

A single tear fell from your eye from the overwhelming pleasure and he sweetly ran his thumb over it to wipe it away. He gave you one last gentle kiss before he pulled back out to the tip again and then slammed into you full force. You threw your head back as you cried out and his lips latched onto your neck as he changed his pace to pummel into you at a dizzying rate.

Your body bounced back and forth against the soft sheets and his name fell from your mouth in a non-stop mantra. He, once again, took one of your legs and folded it to throw over his shoulder so he could bury himself even deeper into your cunt, if that was even possible.

Everything about him was perfect and you couldn’t stop the tears that ran down the sides of your face from the amount of pure euphoria you felt in that moment. His lips covered every inch of your clavicle in dark marks and you surprisingly found his possessiveness as a turn-on.

You whimpered, moaned, and cried out your ecstasy and he bored his eyes into your own all the while. “Fuck, noona… you feel so good… so tight and wet for me…” He leaned down to groan against your lips. 

You whined in response, once again surprised by his confident English. “For you, Lino. All for you…” That statement made something inside him snap and he growled right before he pistoned into you full force and dropped his forehead to rest on your shoulder, moving a strong hand to furiously rub your clit all the while.

You basically screamed out his name as your orgasm reached its full peak and your walls squeezed him impossibly tight. His teeth clamped down onto your shoulder to muffle his cry of pleasure and he came so hard you could almost taste it.

He pumped both of you through your orgasms as his mouth moved to mesh with your own, sucking, biting, and licking each other's lips lazily. Once he slowly halted to a stop and relinquished his assault on your mouth, he stood up and languidly walked to the bathroom. You heard running water and then saw the naked Adonis return with a suppressed smile.

He held out a hand and, without question or hesitation, you took it. You yelped when you were suddenly lifted into his arms and carried to the source of the running water, soon after, being lowered into a luxurious bathtub with the scent of essential oils washing over your senses. He quickly climbed in behind you and the feeling of yourself laid back against the naked body of Lee Minho in the blissful heat of a five-star bathtub soothing your aching muscles was almost orgasmic.

“How do you feel?” Minho wrapped his arms around you and whispered against your ear right before he started peppering kisses along your neck.

You turned your head to capture his lips with your own. “I feel like I’m in heaven.” You responded with a smile against his lips. He returned your smile and slightly pulled back to look into your eyes.

“I’m excited for you to meet the other members tomorrow.” His eyes shined brightly, proud of his confident English, but you could still detect the danger in them. “But remember…” He squeezed you with the arms he had wrapped around your midriff. “You’re mine.”

You giggled and pressed another kiss to his lips. “Hmmm…” A sly remark passed through your head. “I think I might need some more convincing.” You said teasingly.

“Oh really?” You saw an evil glint gloss over his eyes and you jumped when you felt the man pinch your clit. “Want more?” You could already feel him sporting a semi against your ass and you were amazed by his stamina.

You quickly turned around to straddle the man and he held you by your hips as you wrapped your arms around him. “Absolutely.”

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If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Sorry if you weren't expecting it, but, in the end, Lee Know always ends up being a top priority for me. 😆

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Repeat After Me | lmh

❝𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐭, 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?❞

↳ When bad days bring insecurities to settle and nerves are anxiously aflutter, there’s only one thing that can bring you down.

↳ Female reader x Lee Know

↳ 3.3k

! Strong language, established relationship, essential pw/op, soft dominant Lee Know, body insecurity and dysmorphia, themes of weight insecurity, explicit sexual content, dirty talk, body worship and praise, body positivity, conditioning, breathplay, use of ‘slut’, creampie, adult themes throughout !

「suitable for 18+ readers only」  「© September 2022 by jl-micasea-fics」

“You about done in there, baby?”

Minho’s voice echoes lightly through the apartment, permeating the gently gushing flow of warm shower water that cascades from the silver head.

Work definitely wasn’t kind to you today. Indeed, it seemed to make an explicit point of kicking you about and neglecting the aftercare as one obstacle after another materialised on your already packed schedule, endless additions crawling atop the impressive mountain of paperwork on your desk. Couple that with the depressive state of your lunch more befitting a grazing rabbit than an actual human, your resulting mood left you irritable, fed up, and kind of done with the world.

If it wasn’t for the joy you knew awaited you at home—a slick, suave boyfriend that just happens to have a thing for all the curves and lumpy bits you’re specifically trying to shed with said rabbit diet—you’d be well on your way to the deepest recesses of a bottle of Rioja by now.

For the relief Lee Minho brings is far more effective than any alcohol or narcotic. Indeed, he is the perfect fucking sedative to days like this, and best of all, he knows it.

As an aside, Minho’s never made any secret of the fact that your more abhorrent moods turn him on. Your scowls, your pouts, the extra layer you throw on in your desire for comfort only sparks his desire to rip it all off, to dig beneath and feel the plush, soft canvas of your skin under his hands.

Though you have no need to today, you suppose you can admit to exaggerating your moods here and there. Putting a macabre face on when perhaps you’re not all that tetchy, pouting a little harder when you seek to garner his attentions. And why shouldn’t you, when it works every time? You’re far from noble enough to abstain on throwing a tantrum; especially when the end result is so delicious. Indeed, over the years you’ve been together, Minho has yet to fail in his efforts to lighten your moods, for they are nothing if not fucking enthusiastic.

“Almost,” you call back, sweeping your hands through your sodden hair, spinning slowly under the water, eyes closed in the blissful warmth of relative content.

“Well pick it up, dinner’s ready.”

That’s enough to get you to open your eyes.

“Wh— You cooked?” you balk.

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