ParanoidpoppyHELP! - Tumblr Posts

HELP!!!

My dad's birthday is coming up (mid july) and I'm going to make him a replica of the Master Sword from Breath of the Wild since that's his favorite Zelda game. I've got the whole thing planned out and have my supplies or at least know where to get them, I just need glow in the dark paint!!

I cannot for the life of me find a good one on Amazon and searching craft/hardware stores in person has been disappointing and unreliable so far. I'm wondering if anybody on here who has more experience than me with costumes, cosplay, prop/replica making or anything in that domain has any recommendations! Preferably a spray paint, but other stuff is alright too. I need to get close or exact to that aqua blue glow, and need it to be transparent when it's not glowing so that it looks like a regular blade.

If such a paint does not exist, so be it, but I figured it's worth asking for help! Final product will be posted of course :)

how do I block or hide a tag so I don’t see it on my dash anymore

not urgent, just wondering if there’s a way cuz I’m on mobile rn and I can’t find any option to do that

Dearest little gang I have acquired in my short time with this account, and all others who read.

HELP ME DEAR GOD HELP

I am spiraling uncontrollably and have somehow twisted a little dissappointment into genuine, unadulterated, terror that my boyfriend is drifting away from me.

The only thing that happened was that he only texted me twice today, hours apart, and bothmessages were literally 2 characters long.

And you know what, maybe I'm being dramatic.

However

we have not facetimed since Sunday night

we have not spoken face to face since Friday night

and I find it hard to believe he's spending all this absent-from-my-life-time sleeping. Even if his claim that his dad got him sick is truthful.

Maye tmi, but he's not been smothering me in affection as often as a month or so ago.

To make it clear, I'm confident - maybe not so much now that I'm thinking and typing about it - that he's not cheating.

To conclude: am I just a clingly, nervous, overdramatic wreck of a girlfriend, OR, should I be worried? What if these feelings don't disappear by morning? after all, it is past 9 PM right now.

he texted me again, just an emoji in respose to a frowning face I sent after the last 2 letter message. I nagged him to go to bed because he's sick and he said that's what he's doing, and then texted goodnight. no I love you

Dearest little gang I have acquired in my short time with this account, and all others who read.

HELP ME DEAR GOD HELP

I am spiraling uncontrollably and have somehow twisted a little dissappointment into genuine, unadulterated, terror that my boyfriend is drifting away from me.

The only thing that happened was that he only texted me twice today, hours apart, and bothmessages were literally 2 characters long.

And you know what, maybe I'm being dramatic.

However

we have not facetimed since Sunday night

we have not spoken face to face since Friday night

and I find it hard to believe he's spending all this absent-from-my-life-time sleeping. Even if his claim that his dad got him sick is truthful.

Maye tmi, but he's not been smothering me in affection as often as a month or so ago.

To make it clear, I'm confident - maybe not so much now that I'm thinking and typing about it - that he's not cheating.

To conclude: am I just a clingly, nervous, overdramatic wreck of a girlfriend, OR, should I be worried? What if these feelings don't disappear by morning? after all, it is past 9 PM right now.

I'M LOSING MY MIND

someone. anyone. just a human that understands microsoft or xbox or minecraft

i have been slaving away for at least an hour now; simply trying to get access to Realms Stories because all my friends in the realm are pushing me to set it up. I have gotten nowhere. none of them have had the same issue.

ive gone on a multitude of websites inside and outside of the ones that minecraft actually takes me to. nothing has worked.

I click on my user in the top right. I go to the three dots. I select the top button. behold: another help page telling me to do things I thought I had already done but apparently weren't enough?

I can send/post screenshots to/for anyone that can help, but I don't want to go through all that for them if somebody can help without them.

Please

that’s what I’ve been going to, it led me to a help page that I went thru and made sure i could do all the stuff there. I just haven’t been able to find the setting I need to change within my account that every other help page and post has been talking about. I’ll Google the setting again later cuz idk exactly what it is, but I might ultimately have to just create a new account. I’ve even gone thru the whole family thing in order to change my age in hopes it would automatically update the setting but it was fruitless.

btw im on my pc with bedrock, getting Java tonight

I'M LOSING MY MIND

someone. anyone. just a human that understands microsoft or xbox or minecraft

i have been slaving away for at least an hour now; simply trying to get access to Realms Stories because all my friends in the realm are pushing me to set it up. I have gotten nowhere. none of them have had the same issue.

ive gone on a multitude of websites inside and outside of the ones that minecraft actually takes me to. nothing has worked.

I click on my user in the top right. I go to the three dots. I select the top button. behold: another help page telling me to do things I thought I had already done but apparently weren't enough?

I can send/post screenshots to/for anyone that can help, but I don't want to go through all that for them if somebody can help without them.

Please

Hey

This post will be ***Temporarily*** be pinned, replacing my about me post.

so my (now ex) boyfriend broke up with me OVER TEXT on the 2nd of August, claiming he has poor mental health (been known buddy) and that it would be good for the both of us to not be together because he "can't be the best boyfriend" to me in his current state and that I deserve better. Will be accepting any opinions in reblogs or comments on that whole thing. However! I came on here to share the letter I'm writing him before I officially stop putting in my now usual amount of effort into keeping any kind of relationship alive. Be warned, it's quite the tome.

Here ya go:

You’ve evidently come to the conclusion that you’re “ready”, however you interpreted the word. Or maybe you just opened this because you felt like it. Or it’s been a long time since I gave this to you. Maybe you were feeling nostalgic, as you’ve received more personal letters from me than really any modern person normally does. Or we’re together and I pressure you to; or you do so of your own will. Perhaps some other, unlisted reason. Maybe you never open this; and I’m writing all these words for only the universe to see. At the end of the day, speculation only goes so far, and none of it really matters because I’m going to say the things I want to say anyway. The stuff I never said out loud, because I knew - and you told me - that you weren’t ready. And eventually I realized you might never be ready.

I’m not going to try to be poetic or anything, so I’m sorry if you enjoyed that aspect of my past letters. This is just going to be me. I’m going to say thoughts and feelings and facts and everything of that sort because this may very well be my only and last opportunity.

I’d like to start with some apologies, you deserve them.

I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me. Even if you won’t admit it, it’s true.

I’m sorry I couldn't be there for you those 3 years. The 3 years before me that you told me you’ve felt empty through and ever since; like there was a void somewhere inside of you that I couldn’t fill as much as you wanted or needed me to.

I’m sorry you feel you have to do this alone. I know you won’t seek professional help, you’re prideful and strong and stubborn. Even when it hurts you.

I’m sorry that you feel the need to put on a mask of happiness. That destroys a person. I know how it is. I did it for two years. I’m still working on it to this day, especially now.

I hope you accept them. If not for yourself, then for me. Or at the very least for the sake of remembering and learning from us.

To start with the main body of this letter, I’d like to preface with a recognition that maybe you think this is overstepping some boundaries. In that case, I’m sorry. Truly. But, I can’t say nothing. It’s not in my nature to let words as important as these sit dormant forever, bubbling over into the nights of the future as tears. I want this to give me some closure, and maybe you’ll get some too.

I’m not perfect at communicating by any means. I try my best, and it’s either enough, or it isn’t. And I know you’re not perfect at communicating either. You have trouble expressing a lot of things and mustering up the courage to talk about them, and I have trouble saying the important stuff out loud. This letter, for example, which by the way, I’m sorry isn’t handwritten. It’s just much easier to organize thoughts here and make changes. Case in point.

Anyway, I think that’s part of the reason you decided that breaking up was the answer. You had been sitting on that text - or at least idea of a breakup - for some time. It was obvious. I’m not dumb. But I also don’t know a lot of things. Maybe I would’ve drafted that same message in your position. Still, I maintain that I don’t believe pushing someone away - who has continuously expressed want and interest in helping your mental health - was the solution. But I’m not you and I don’t control you. We were and still are equals, both human, and that means a breakup is a breakup, an end is an end, no matter how much I hate it. As much as I wish we had talked more before coming to an end, I understand that to you it might have been something inevitable (I’ll touch more on “inevitable” later). Perhaps that is part of the reason, however small, you were so firm on your decision. I’ll never entirely know or understand what brought you to your conclusion. I can only speculate about what I did or didn’t do, what I could’ve done to change this future because it currently doesn’t contain quite enough of you.

The - probably obvious - truth is, I miss you terribly, and I promise I’ll only use a bit of this letter to wallow in my longing. You were the light, as horribly cliché as that sounds. Merely thinking of your smile can bring me to the verge of tears. I catch a glimpse of faceless hair that only resembles yours, my heart stutters and suddenly I’m clasping my hands together, begging any Gods that will listen. Heads turn in this temple as my knees bleed onto the stone, words leaving my mouth faster than the blood can find its path through the crevices. Not one worshiper listens or understands. Those familiar rich brown curls turn a corner and I’m lost again, standing among people who might never know anything like what we had.

As guilty as I feel, I know time will move steadily forward, and all this passion may or may not fade. But for the time being, I have learned from this pain; it takes a lot of energy to understand that things are often more beautiful when you know you can’t have them.

I can’t count on my hands the number of times I have lamented to a close friend just how much I miss being able to watch you. How desperately I want to be able to just look at you freely and trace the lines of your face with my gaze again. I keep the moments I treasure and miss most to myself though. Like the thought of dragging my finger down the bridge of your nose as we lay together quietly. I dream of brushing my thumbs over your cheeks and pulling you towards me for one last kiss goodnight through the car window again.

I wish I had made you stay in that car longer. Begged you to sit with me for even just five more minutes. I wish I had mustered the patience I know I am capable of, instead of demanding a change I know is difficult. Maybe if those moments had moved slower, I could have saved us.

We are (were?) teens. I recognize, maybe don’t fully understand, that you might not have wanted something as serious, committed, adult, as I did. My parents raised me intentionally or unintentionally to believe that romance is reserved for adults. I didn’t plan or even think of having a boyfriend in high school, perhaps not even in college. But then there was you.

At first I just wanted to be friends with you. To share memories and talk and play games. That’s it. At some point that changed. I don’t know when; I don’t know exactly why. I just know one day I woke up and wished you were there too; Peaceful and warm, morning breath and all. I wanted to do with you what spring does with the new blossoms.

You couldn’t know this of course. What if you didn’t like me like that? What if it made you hate me? And if by some miracle, you liked me of all people back, what would happen then? I didn’t know anything. I couldn’t, and I still can’t, wrap my head around the fact that someone, much less you, would ever want to kiss me or hold my hand or even be associated with me. It still takes my breath away thinking of the first time you kissed me. However small and quick and inconsequential it was, I would have been happy with that being my last first kiss. I won’t be in history books, but if I am, I hope they say you were the first one to love me. As long as they get that right, I don’t care what else they say.

I do know I was mean sometimes, and I hope you know it was only playfully, in an affectionate kind of way. I could talk to you for hours and never get tired of your voice, your laugh. And I could never get tired of seeing you smile. I don’t think I could ever get tired of you, not at all, and I believe that still holds true. Around you, at times, I was also sad and overwhelmed and everything in between and all the better feelings. And you were there for me. You stayed with me; helping and hugging me all while standing in the shadow of your own emotion. You’re strong like that, in an irresponsible and dangerous way, but strong nonetheless. In my past I probably would have admired your walls, your defenses. But I’ve forced myself to acknowledge, and try to understand, that nothing good comes from shoving clutter under the bed and calling your bedroom clean.

Putting aside the aforementioned first kiss, you could’ve just wanted a fling. I don’t know. I likely never will. And I’m sorry if I was crazy or overbearing. We are (were?) just teenagers. The movies say that high school sweethearts don’t last. But I foolishly thought otherwise. I threw myself into our relationship carelessly, letting my guard down because I finally felt secure in some capacity. Not only about myself, but about my potential future. I recognize maybe I feel, and therefore love, a bit too deeply for our age, and perhaps that scared you away. We are (were?) (Are you getting sick of that uncertainty yet?) teenagers and I accept the fact that we have differences in how we experience life and more specifically, love.

You’ll get through this without me. You’re not completely alone, and you know that even if you won’t admit it. Every day, you’re pushing me further away, and even though every bone in my body wants to follow you and grab your arm and pull you back towards me… I don’t. I resist the best I can. I’ll stay right here. Right where you know I’ll be. Working on my patience and hoping that at some point I might see your smile again instead of your back. What I’m trying to say is that I’ll be here for you. Because I know you want to change. And I know that you are capable of becoming who you want to be. Someday maybe you’ll feel brave or you’ll (unnecessarily, because you were and always will be good to me) deem yourself good enough and you’ll be able to summon even more of that strength and courage to reach out. Don’t be afraid. You taught me that some fear is unwarranted.

You said you need help, and as much as I want you to seek it, I know you probably won’t. You’ll let your emotions fester until something like this happens again, and then maybe you’ll learn that recognizing and letting some thoughts and feelings out, even if it’s just a small amount, helps. Cry. Scream. Destroy something. Those are better than nothing. You said that you need help and I believe you do, I just don’t believe you’ll act on that, and a part of me wants to hate you for it. I won’t let that part of me infect the memories of you though, I can’t do that to myself. So you can break that promise - if you want to call it that - and I’ll hold my hands over the ears of my heart so that it doesn’t hate you.

I need you to know that I am grateful for your time in my life, however brief that may be. It was invaluable, and I know I’ll spend the rest of my time on Earth seeking something that even rivals what we had. You have taught me incredible things about myself, life, love, and the world. These uncertain days will pass, you and I could become nothing or something. I have no way of knowing. I do know that your chapter of my life will always be dogeared, as it will most certainly be my favorite for a long time.

However far into the future we have moved between the time I gave this to you and now, when you are reading it, - perhaps we have grown apart, or perhaps we couldn’t possibly be closer - I want you to know that I have, and always will, wait for you. What we had might be forever unmatched. It’s not often you stumble upon someone you have so much in common with. So like I said, I’ll wait for you. Even if you just want to be friends again. The kind that FaceTime in silence just to know they’re not alone. Or the kind that do everything together. Or the kind that share fears and trauma and everything that makes life wonderful. Or the kind that get together once every few months just to laugh. Call me, because I’ll wait for you. I still care for you at this moment, and I probably will forever to some extent. To be clear, this isn’t me telling you to do anything. It’s me saying that if you want to, I won’t stop you. My pets and friends will hear me cry on my bedroom floor, but they won’t hear me ask you to come back. It’s not fair at all for me to ask that of you.

I'll start to wrap it up here. For now, this is the most closure I believe I will get; An envelope containing barely a cup from a sea of thoughts and emotion. I think there are beautiful things waiting for you. You just have to be looking for them. And amid the beautiful parts of your future, if you find an old picture of us, and clear away the dust, I hope you miss me at least a little. Maybe that’s selfish, but it’s human. Perhaps we would’ve worked out in another universe.

As I write this letter - which has consumed several days - I’ve slowly but surely begun to accept the fact that you might never greet me again, or text me asking to FaceTime, or smile my way briefly in passing. In this new reality, I find the only direction to move is forward, and I can’t do that until I accept this fate. I hope that acceptance will come soon because the pain of not knowing you is unbearable. All of this will fade slowly and ache like a wound. As macabre as this metaphor is, I hope you leave a scar because its story would be the loveliest of them all.

Every choice is the right one, remember that. All of them will lead you to the future you’re meant to have, the people you’re meant to love, the lessons you’re meant to learn, and the ways you’re meant to change. To be loved, is to be changed after all. I hope that void gets filled by something or someone. I hope you smile a lot, and find the people and things and love that make life worth living. Above all, I hope you’re happy wherever all that may be.

My last act of love will be letting you go.

That's it! Names were excluded obviously. Let me know if there's any changes, major or minor, to be made. Any and all feedback accepted. Please don't invalidate or disregard my emotions and feelings simply because I'm a teenager. I know what being in love is like. The fact that we are both under 18 doesn't mean that we are incapable of feeling deeply, just as I state in the letter. Every day I wake up and miss him and I can't imagine us being with anyone else and I wonder if I'll feel this way for the rest of my life. I think that's about as in love as in love can be, and us being under 18 doesn't render that meaningless.

I am still unsure if this will be given to him. I have been advised by irl best friend to not do it but she also acknowledged that ultimately it is my choice so I’d like to get some more opinions if people are up to it. Hopefully a consensus is reached soon? Or is that too much to ask?