Pill - Tumblr Posts
When I insist that I stay at home through self-delusion, my parents tell me to go to school. When I say that I can just take pills and go to school, they say I better stay at home.
Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription
Me: My pills make me not want to die tho
They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal
Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills
Paranoia pt. 5: The ongoing struggle
My first quarter of college went really well, but that was from being cooped up at home doing nothing all summer. I was ready to do some work and get some stuff done. Winter quarter didn't go so well, and spring quarter was even more of a struggle, as my complacent tendencies kept getting worse and worse.
I was certain that my pill was the cause. Between that and some new information that it can cause memory loss in some cases, I was tired of it. So, midway through winter quarter, I stopped taking it. There were no adverse side effects (probably because I halved the dose over a period of time), but I did notice myself get more tense and jumpy, and my thoughts raced faster. I haven't had a panic attack since.
But it was immediately apparent that the pill wasn't the problem. It didn't necessarily get worse because I stopped taking the pill, but it did keep getting worse at the same steady rate as before. By spring quarter, I was barely staying afloat grade-wise, and my attendance record was 50% overall.
At some point I even stopped making levels. When I noticed this, I really began to worry about myself. "Maybe I have depression or something? No, that's just my paranoia again. I just have a really bad work ethic. Haven't I always been this way, though? I was this bad in high school too."
With my record this past quarter, I am once again appalled that anyone took pity on my and let me keep my scholarship. And of course these feelings of worthlessness are bigger than just that, knowing that I don't have the drive to complete a simple assignment, or even fully enjoy my hobbies. I feel like I've just turned into a little ball of consumption with nothing to give back.
And thus we arrive at the present day, where somehow all of these feelings of shame, worthlessness, and nothingness have somehow, some way increased tenfold over the summer, even though I've had little to no real work to do. Every time, I think that maybe something's wrong with me, only to remember my paranoid tendencies and tell myself that it's actually my fault.
Just less than a week ago now, a close friend of mine who was worried about me showed me a game called Depression Quest. It's a short text-based browser game playing in the role of someone with depression. The player is given a set of possible ways to deal with a situation, but some of them are crossed out due to the player's condition.
It scared me how much I was able to relate to almost everything in the game. That was the real turning point for me, in thinking that maybe it's not just my paranoia, and maybe something is beyond my control here... Reading and hearing about other people's stories of depression only make me more and more convinced of this:
I think I have depression too.
An Early Birthday Gift to Myself
Happy Birthday Everyone! I used the same video to gif software and hopefully all the gifs act like they should.
Money is a wonderful thing to have—and to give (for the right product).
I was an overweight piece of acne-plagued red neck nerd working at a gas station to pay the bills. After my parents threw me out for being gay, I found that paying my own rent and food really ate away at my pay, so I decided to room with a computer nerd with an affinity for the deep web. And it’s from him that I found this website that promised an explosive change in body… with only a simple powder supplement.
Naturally I was skeptical, but I was desperate. I didn’t want to die a gay virgin, so I saved what little money I had and eventually saved enough to buy a packet of the proposed miracle.
I took the dosage as the package directed: right before going to bed.
I woke up drenched in sweat with every part of my body aching with a strange nervous energy. I leapt out of bed (and how easy it was!) and landed on my feet, spry as a cat. In the restroom I gazed at what had become of my body. No longer was I an overweight kid, but a lean muscle boy. I grabbed my camera and began documenting.
I was excited. i took off my shirt then turned on the camera. Gesturing to my muscles I pointed and flexed. I wanted to show every inch of this new body: “Look at this! I’m fucking ripped. These fucking arms! I’m jacked!”
I flexed, just admiring those muscles and pecs. Where did the fat even go? I thought to myself. There was a strange smell and after sniffing my pits, I realized the smell was me. It was how most guys smelled when they entered the gas station to buy a handle of Captain Morgan for a frat party—teenage gym sweat.
This was literally impossible. I was smiling with manic energy. I kept turning and documenting what I was seeing. I was afraid this would go away as easily as it came about.
I stood with my back against the camera. It had never occurred to me how arousing it would be to show off my back. I had always fixated on the abs, the biceps, and the pecs of men, but it felt weird to know that a back would be such turn on. Is this how hot guys felt? To know that each inch of their body was literally a treat? No wonder they got away with everything. Each inch of their body was tantalizing and a visual delight.
I jumped in front of the camera, getting an angle on my arms, my chest, and my abs. I pointed at myself and said, “You got to try this shit.” That pill I bought was a miracle drug. I straightened myself and checked myself out again. It was hard not to. The feeling that this was my new reality was sinking in and a wild thrill shook me. I thought of what this could mean for me.
No more shitting gas station job. No more Craigslist hook ups. No more dealing with boring ass days of being an overweight fuck up.
I could be a model. I could whore myself out on camera collect the cash that rolled in. I could walk into a bar and be the object of everyone’s flirtation. Even though I’ve seen bigger guys and hotter guys, I bought the pill that advertised being a lean, toned stallion perfect for frat parties. Maybe in the future I could be the next level that promised a body only those who won the genetic lottery could have.
I stood up and wondered. The pill only offered to burn away the fat and build muscles. I wondered if it add anything more to the mix—maybe I would have to buy another pill to add another inch, hell, possibly add a foot to my cock.
I slowly pulled at my shorts and underwear. The feeling of arousal kicked in—I was ready for a new life, but I wondered if my roommate still had the website link so I can continue being hot and young.
I was drinking with my friend when he said he could give me something to grant my desires of growing. He said only take one a day and only that.
I thought it seemed fake and didn't take it seriously, thinking it were some supplements or something.
After our drinking session I went home alone and looked at the bottle he gave me. I thought what the heck and took 3 and downed it with some water before i slept.
As I was asleep I had this weird dream where I was growing with muscles and looked like a bodybuilder.
When I awoken I saw a huge arm and was suddenly fully awake. Then i arose from bed and looked at my bodybuilder body. I looked for the bottle and wanted more.
I can't believe how fast this stuff works. Just one pill and here i am now. Tall and muscular. Can't wait to help my friends with this. Well after i take a few more.
Story: Pill and Cubes
Video Source
I could only watch eyes wide as he’s fully focused on the Rubik's cube. I had a timer running because he wanted me to time how long it takes for him to solve it. Once he was about to finish it, my finger tapped on the stop button, about a minute, that’s impressive (at least to me, it is).
“Heh, easy.” He said, presenting it to me with a smile on his face before tossing me the finished Rubik's cube.
Honestly, I was floored. I didn’t think Yosef would finish it so quickly after watching a few videos of solving one. After taking a quick look at the finished cube, I let out an exasperated sigh.
“DUDE, HOW?!” I exclaimed.
“Oh, I just followed what to do after looking at all sides of-”
I practically gave myself a light face palm out of frustration before taking a deep breath to calm myself down a little. “Not that! How are you not phased by the fact that you morphed into someone else?!”
He shrugs, “Dunno, I always say that I work great under pressure.”
I shook my head. “I seriously doubt that applies in this situation.”
“You challenged me to learn how to solve a Rubik's cube after handing me a pill. While I expected it to be a sleeping pill or a laxative, this one was a fun challenge. It was jarring turning the cube around with these rough hands.” He replied before holding his hands out and squeezing the air.
I take a seat beside him, I want to slide off of it and roll on the floor to blow off steam. But I don’t, I just smile at him and laugh. “I guess I was just expecting, you know, a more explosive reaction out of you once you realized that you’re not you anymore.”
“In fairness, I expected you to drool all over me after I knew what that pill was for.” He teased.
I roll my eyes, “Not the first time I’ve seen someone shapeshift into someone else. Wait, is that why you took off your shirt before you started to watch those videos!?”
He gives me a cheeky grin. “Guilty.”
Now I grew flustered, “I hate you so much right now. Here I was expecting to get a kick out of you freaking out and yet you’re still calm and annoying as ever.” I said half joking, I wasn’t mad though, just a little annoyed by how things played out.
“The perks of being an older brother in my family. My siblings have done much worse than this.” He bragged as I stood up and poured myself a glass of water. “It’s almost dinner, do you want some of my eggs and sausage?” He said casually.
I coughed out some water before glaring at him, he held his hands up in defense. “I’m joking!”
“You better be…”
“Okay, okay, I’ll order some takeout, it’s on me!” He persuaded me.
I smirk at him. “Go on…” I said before we burst into laughter, a new face and voice but still the same friend and roomie I’ve known since forever. He did keep his word though since he took his phone and ordered something. It was fun seeing him be frustrated a little in unlocking his phone since the biometric locks don’t work for him right now. Once he finished placing the order, all that was left was to wait.
It didn’t take long for him to stand up and walk up to one of the mirrors nearby, actually checking himself out. He went straight to watching videos as I watched his face and body morph into someone else’s and while he did pause when he finally noticed, he just went straight back to watching when he picked up that I had something to do with it. It was fun seeing him get a feel of his new form and quickly watch him feeling himself a little but I kept my reactions to myself.
“Hey, so, how long am I going to be stuck like this? Being a gym rat is cool and all but my family is going to call me tonight. I obviously can’t talk to them while looking like this.” He asked.
“I don’t know, weeks, maybe?” I said nonchalantly.
“EXCUSE ME?” And that was enough for my poker face to break and laugh.
“Relax, Yosef, you’ll change back after an hour or so. The pill was only potent enough for the whole challenge.” And he lets out a sigh in relief in response before he picks up the Rubik's cube and scrambles it.
“Heads up.” He uttered before tossing it over to me.
“Want me to time your run again?” I asked.
“Nope, I’ll be the one teaching you how to solve it this time while waiting for this face to wear off.” He replied. “It’ll be like me tutoring my siblings again, only with a different face and voice. It’ll be fun, trust me.”
“Alright, we have nothing to do until dinner arrives anyway.” I said before walking up to him. “On one condition though.”
He raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“Put a damn shirt on.”
Ah, shit. My son got into the muscle growth pills I’d been working on. The kid was a total geek, scrawny, a twig. Guess it makes sense when your dad is a genius chemist that you’d be a geeky kid. He’d gotten those oversized pajamas as a gag gift from some friends, now they’re his only clothes that fit. I’m gonna have to buy him new ones. The pills wear off if you’ve completed puberty, but if someone undergoing puberty takes them, they’re permanent. Guess the kid’s gonna have a chance on the sports teams, now.
Look big bro I finally finish making my muscle growth pill, I think is a total success oh but I didn’t try it on me my suit wouldn’t fit me anymore if I grew that big , instead I chose someone else you might not recognize them now that they are so huge but these are the nerds that you usually bully, hard to imagine tht the wimpy little group of nerds is now looking down at you with biceps biggger than your head, they cant wait to test their new muscles and you will be an excellent subject to test their strength…
Note - I apologize for the lack of content lately. I’ve been struggling in the past few weeks with a few issues in my personal life. Here’s a quickie for you all.
- The Scientist -
“What did you do to me?!”
“I… I simply did what you asked for! You wanted to be bigger, so…”
“My girlfriend dumped me! She said I was getting too big!”
“Well… you said you wanted to be bigger so…”
“Not THAT big!”
“Calm down please…”
“No! She was the love of my life and you ruined it!”
“I’m sorry…”
“No, you’re not! See? I can see that throbbing erection in your jeans, you little pervert!”
“It’s… it’s not what it looks like…”
“Oh really, now? You’re just a fucking little pervert!”
“Woah! Stop! Put me down!”
“You’re gonna bring me back down my size, you fucking twerp!”
“I… I can’t! I don’t know how!”
“Well, you’ll have to figure it out cause I’m not gonna leave you be until then.”
“What… what are you doing! My clothes!”
“If I’m not gonna have it with my girl, then I’m gonna have my way with you!”
“You… you’re not straight?!”
“See? I don’t know how you did that, but I had to take pills with my girl now to go erect since I’ve taken your medication! You turned me gay, fucking pervert! And you’re gonna have it now and hard!”
“But I… but I’m a top! I’ve never bottomed before! I… ARRRRGGG!”
“Hmm… you’re much tighter than my girl… I could get used to that! Hmm…”
“I… can’t… breath…”
“Yeah, that’s what she told me last time we had sex too. Don’t worry, it’ll pass.”
“Too big…”
“Yeah, she said that too. According to the last time I had grown, I should have another of your freaky and perverted growth spurt any minute now.”
“What… why… you taking… more?”
“Huh? No, I’m not taking meds anymore. They just happen to work in cycle and give me a growth spurt every 4 hours for two days…”
“Not… normal…”
“Really? Well, you’ll have to figure that out when we’ll be done with this fuck. Oh God! Here it comes, Frankenstein, brace yourself to your monster’s growth spurt!”
“FUUUUUUUU…”
It was my friends first ever bodybuilding contest in the lightweight division during our time backstage he cant help but feel nervous and kept saying to himself how small he is compared to the rest of the competition.
So to help him I bought a starter growth pill from Growth Inc. that will add a few pounds throughout the contest. As the contest proceeded he got more confident as his muscles slowly grew, but something weird happened during the half, he suddenly blew up fast bigger and bigger he got everything bulged outwards and taller he got to compensate the muscles and now he was filling up the auditorium and still growing.
After the show it was revealed he had taken 3 pills, one from me, one from himself and one free from the contest itself. Having three had become multiplicative and well he’s kinda a star now being the first person to become a literal giant and is now being endorsed by Growth Inc for the mishap.
I’m happy for him since he’s more confident now. However the problem recently is the increase of people becoming giant.
