Positive Masculinity - Tumblr Posts

All those people who say "we don't have enough role models of positive masculinity" my dudes do you just not know of Kazuma Kiryu? He's the single manliest character in all of mandom. He is the epitome of man. He literally punches tigers and deflects sword blows with his pectorals. The most hardened killers in the world tremble at the mere mention of his name.

He's also just the dudest dude. He's respectful, empathetic, shockingly open minded, good natured and great with kids. He's self admittedly shy and awkward around women but at the same time no woman could ever make the mistake of finding him threatening. He's not exactly the most open with his emotions but he's also clearly not averse to them either, in fact he's an extremely passionate and often quite vulnerable man. He's allowed to smile and laugh and cry and despair and run the full gamut of angsty J-drama goodness without it ever being implied to somehow make him less masculine. Also, and this is most important, he's a giant god damn DORK.

Kiryu's a man who gives everything from baseball to disco dancing his 110% at all times and is never afraid to make an absolute fool of himself. There is not a self conscious bone in his entire body. Were we all only so bold as to be as unapologetically true to ourselves as this great big beautiful doofus of a man.

one of the most Brillant things i have watched on masculinity

i love this yt channel.

GONDOR CALLS FOR AID ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Men Of Middle Earth

The beacons of healthy masculinity are lit!

Name three six men you’d feel safe to be around.

Hey, if you genuinely believe that men are trash, if you really think that men can’t love as deeply and as authentically as women, if you think that women are inherently better than men in any way, if you think men deserve any less love and compassion and kindness than women, or if you think that men should be excluded from body positivity and forms of support,

I’m really sorry you haven’t had good men and boys in your life. I’m sorry that something happened to you that made you believe these lies. I’m really sorry. But saying these things is untrue, hurtful, unkind, and cruel.

Boys and men can be as good and kind and loving and worthy as women. Full stop.

where is that quote that's like "i love the way men love"

Idk how else to phrase this but I think it's progressive for me to hate myself now that I'm a trans man? Like before if I was self depreciating, it was met with comfort but now when I hate myself it's cheered on, even by other trans people. I have a hard time talking about this cause since I've been on T I think my depression has gotten worse but I'm afraid to talk about it cause of terfs and what not. I want to not regret going on T cause I worked hard to get to this point but it's difficult

A lot of things are different, socially, once people start perceiving us as men- and I think it’s hard to talk about a lot of them.

I’ve definitely noticed that compliments in my direction are less and less frequent, and less enthusiastic than they were before. When I make jokes about absurd violence, there’s more discomfort and disapproval than there was when I was perceived as more feminine- as if my gender presentation alone is a reason to trust me less. The sound of my voice definitely makes people more likely to perceive excited explanations (or even just... longer bits of talking) as “mansplaining” or just asshole behavior than before it dropped.

Where I’ve been encouraged to take up space pre-transition (it’s empowering! it’s feminist!) my anxiety and hyper-awareness of how much room I occupy both physically and socially now feels justified; even actively encouraged.

It’s something we don’t talk about as often, but the experience is genuinely damaging in a lot of ways. Many of us grow up internalizing the idea that we need to make ourselves small and subservient, and feminism tells us, no! Be strong! Take up space! Be confident! A lot of us find strength & self-love in that, and personally, it’s part of what helped me get to a place where I could even begin to examine my gender at all.

And then we transition, and those of us who found solace and strength and confidence in feminism- who built up our understanding of the world from it, who’s social networks are inherently rooted in it- now find ourselves once again internalizing the idea that we need to be small, that any amount of self-love is unearned and damaging, that expressing confidence hurts women, that existing as ourselves is just inherently dangerous and cruel.

And that’s before we factor in the messages we’ve internalized from transphobia.

I think a lot of folks are uncomfortable with the idea that these ideas not only hurt marginalized men, but that they hurt us in ways that oppressive systems in society are already hurting us. That for the people who hear these messages the loudest, they are also the most cruel and damaging- and even deadly. 

I just hope you know you’re not alone, and you’re not the only one who wants this to stop. I hope you can talk to your friends about your needs, and maybe they’ll be good friends, and they’ll continue to help you build self-confidence and self-love! You deserve positive supports in your life, and it sucks that you have to fight harder for that now than you did before.

I think some people need to look at the term transmasculinity and really, really take in what it means. This post is primarily talking about trans men, but a lot of the logic here applies to non-men transmascs too.

When you say trans men are men, and then go on to basically equate us to cis men, you aren't validating us. You're invalidating us.

Trans masculinity exists. I separated the words there for you because it feels like so many of you don't take in that there are different types of masculinity.

Cis masculinity is different from trans masculinity. A Butch's masculinity is different from a Bear's masculinity.

When it comes to validating trans men's gender identity, expression, and experiences, it isn't at all helpful to put us on the same shelf as cis men.

We're trans. We're men. Our manhood is trans. Our masculinity is trans. It comes with a certain way of viewing the world and a certain way in which the world views you that cis men generally don't experience.

We are not Cis Men Lite. We do not navigate the world like cis men. People do not interact with us like they do cis men. Misogyny doesn't stop being directed at us because we identify as men, and a lot of the time it never does stop. Male privilege is not handed to us as soon as we realize we're men, and a lot of the time it never is given, at least not in full access.

Oppression aside, our expression of masculinity isn't the same as cis men. It can look similar, but most trans men know the distinctly trans feeling their masculinity gives them.

The joy in dressing masc (especially putting on a suit) for the first time, or the feeling of wholeness when you get gendered correctly by a stranger.

The way we flag ourselves as trans men using fashion, so that other trans men can find us.

The way feminine trans men feel freed when they finally put on a dress for the first time in years, assured in both their manhood and femininity.

The beautiful way trans men attracted to men see their gayness. The wonderful way a trans man loves his girlfriend. The amazing way trans men express their sexuality as trans men.

Transmasculinity is beautiful and wonderful and amazing and I am so tired of people chalking it up to just Cis Manhood Lite Edition.

Transandrophobes keep your hands off this post. 💙

sometimes I get so angry thinking about ‘The Imitation Game’ that I have to go in a little ‘upset big tantrum room’ in my head for a calm down

like, Benisnatch Cumberque played the same character he’s always plays as an asshole genius and we were all supposed to be okay with it, but it’s basically character slander

at different parts of the movie Turing is described as ‘arrogant, “inhuman,” “narcissistic,” and even “a monster,” in the film he goes against those around him and is shown to periodically ignore and belittle his colleagues

And. I. Am. So. Angry.

Alan Turing was described by his friends and people that knew him as “intensely shy and kindly”, he was said to “inspire loyalty and affection among those who appreciated his unusual gifts” and was “unfailingly generous with his time and expertise, especially toward younger recruits”

He was kind, he was kind, HE WAS KIND, he was kind

he was kind and geeky and awkward and gay, I don’t care if the whole of society doesn’t find that compelling, I don’t care if we don’t value kindness as an attribute in men, he deserved to be loved and respected as he was, not as we wish he was

I am so sorry Alan Turing, I am so sorry your story was not told with care and thoughtfulness, I am so sorry you didn’t get to be shown to be deeply in love with the men you loved, I am sorry your great and terrible tragedy was never unfolded as a kind and brilliant man abused by a horrible homophobic system

You are a hero that turned the tides of history like no other and I am so sorry

I would love to see a cishet male college student character who joined a sorority because he didn't wanna hang out with those rapey frat boys. Would love it if he was super buff and tall and masculine but carried a purse because it was conveint and sometimes painted his nails. An emotionally available prochoice king who's not afraid to cry and speak up about women's issues without speaking over women. The frat boys hate him because women are lining up to date him even though he'd never even think of betraying his darling girlfriend.

Anyway I'm not sure if the worlds ready for that but it would be nice.