Psych Meds - Tumblr Posts

5 years ago

Me to me when I quit my medications to trigger (hypo)mania, but get depression instead

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4 months ago

I am far too young to feel my chest be so tight and my pulse racing, even while withdrawing from psych meds. This absolutely sucks 😞


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7 years ago

Orgasms and Medication

Mostly this space is to give my poetic libido a voice but sometimes I need to address some real world lust issues. (Lissues? Lussues?)

I have a ginormous list of psych diagnoses that often keep me on meds. I’ve tried several and discarded them for a variety of reasons (Always under the supervision of a psychiatrist. One must be responsible.) but I never dumped them for side effects I could ‘live’ with.

Like… the difficulty with orgasm.

My libido is a hungry, insatiable thing, so psych meds putting a damper on desire sometimes feels better than being constantly lusty and having to monitor my behaviour to be socially acceptable. However, orgasm has always been a little more tenuous, and I haven’t yet met a psych med that didn’t make it harder to have one, if not downright impossible. (The first drug they put me on was Prozac. It made me manic AND made orgasms go away but made me more horny. I only figured out orgasms were off the table after a masturbation session that left me uncomfortably raw. Yeeeeaaah. No.)

So I learned to live with orgasms that took awhile or needed battery-operated assistance or just fled at the sight of a partner. (You’ve heard of shy bladder… here’s shy climax.) While most of my partners have been thoughtful darlings, a few have thought their dick/fingers/tongue/whatever was the magic key to get me off (which, hey, NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING) and really, few things are less hot than someone who feels your orgasm is 1) the sign sex is over, 2) something they 'deserve’ (ew?), 3) a prize (*foghorn*), 4) I think you get the picture.

I also learned to live with orgasms that just took awhile /on their own/. I’m not a fan of lube because I get plenty juicy on my own, so it’s always a little disheartening when your body runs out of its own moisture. Sanity is its own reward, I suppose, but damn. Buying lube for your vibrator is an experience.

I recently had to do a med change. Now. People. IF YOU CAN’T TELL YOUR PSYCHIATRIST THAT YOUR DRUGS MAKE IT HARD TO CUM, CHANGE DOCTORS. My doctor wants to know all side effects. All. ALL. Can I not sleep? Am I hyper? Lethargic? Weight gain? Loss? Etcetera. And he asks about sex. Yes. It’s uncomfortable to tell this sweet older man but having a sex life you enjoy (YOU DEFINE THAT!) is super important to good mental health! So I stare at the floor and talk through it.

So. Med change. I’d gotten a shiny new mental health diagnosis my former med was either exacerbating or simply not helping. We had to wean me off the old med. Then, I was on a half dose of the new med for a week, and have been on a full dose for the past few days.

Now, this morning I was feeling frisky and decided to get friendly with my favourite vibrator (I’d tried to rally the nearest partner, to no avail). I’d read some tasty smut, slipped my fingers over some very erotic gifs, and was quite prepared to be at it awhile when my body surprised me. Normally, a medicated orgasm takes a good half hour.

Ten. Minutes.

Now. I’m not saying I’ve found my Holy Grail psych med, but if things stay like this… I’ll take it. My mood already seems to be improving… And having orgasms without a fight against my own Self? Sign me up!

Alright. Back to more prose and poetry. I may need to take breaks to reward myself for all the writing...


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