Ranzai - Tumblr Posts
Souheki... Save me Souheki ..
I love them actually
Sillies
can't stop thinking about ranpo being the one person dazai is close to who he can touch without worrying about nlh., with everyone else, every touch is paired with the sensation of his ability cancelling out theirs but with ranpo it's just. normal touch. and it's so strange and almost eerie at first because casual touch is always so much. dazai's touch is meant to be used as a weapon, and he's forcibly reminded of that every time he pats atsushi's head or pokes kunikida's cheek or brushes up against kenji. gentle, casual, touch is not what dazai is meant for.
but then he touches ranpo and there's nothing. there's just the surface-level feeling of his hair pinched between dazai's fingers. he touches ranpo, and it's only skin-deep. ranpo touches him, and never once flinches at the sensation of no longer human. and dazai starts to think maybe his touch doesn't have to be a weapon all the time, maybe just this once, it can be skin-deep and gentle. maybe with ranpo, he can learn how touch is supposed to feel.
this mf so 🍪 !!!!
A few Souheki as Incorrect Quotes to start off this blog:)
Dazai: Here's some advice Ranpo: I didn't ask for any Dazai: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me. ------------------------------------------------ Dazai, pointing: May I sit there? Ranpo: That's my lap Dazai: That doesn't answer my question, Ranpo. -------------------------------------- Dazai: Ranpo! My face is on fire! Ranpo: Dazai! Are you okay?! Dazai: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Ranpo: But your face is on fire. Dazai: Yes. It's much faster than shaving. ---------------------------------------------------- Dazai, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Ranpo: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Dazai, with the tone of someone who is used to Ranpo: Outstanding. Dazai: This is what I’m talking about people. -------------------------------------- Dazai, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today! Ranpo: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick. ------------—------------------------- Dazai: You saved me. I owe you my life. Ranpo: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed. ---------------------------------------------------- Dazai: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Ranpo, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Dazai: Dazai: fsh ---------------------------------------------------
Dazai: You love me, right, Ranpo? Ranpo: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
---------------------------------------------------- Ranpo, tending to Dazai's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Dazai: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend. ----------------------------------------------------
Ranpo : So what’s for dinner?
Dazai , staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
—————————————
Ranpo : How petty can you get?
Dazai : I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
————————————
Ranpo : This is bothering me.
Dazai : Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Ranpo : No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.
—————————
Ranpo : Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Dazai : No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
——————
Ranpo : Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It?
Dazai: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!
Ranpo: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.
————————
Ranpo: Change is inedible.
Dazai: Don't you mean inevitable?
Ranpo, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
———————
*Ranpo and Dazai skipping stones on lake*
Dazai: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Ranpo, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
I just realized I haven't blessed anyone with my Souheki AU's yet, I need to change that:)
Dazai and the ADA in my Souheki Roleswap! AU:
(ft. badly edited designs because I can’t draw, so you’re stuck with this—)
⚠️TW: suicide attempt, murder, past self harm⚠️
Roleswap! Dazai:
Dazai Osamu was a young child, standing on the edge of a bridge, ready to jump off, any second now: the only problem was, he had decided to act out his suicide attempt in broad daylight, he knew no one was going to help him anyway, people were too selfish to aid a soul who’d lost all meaning; all except one man, just as Dazai stepped even closer to the edge, an older man in a yukata, yanked him by his shirt’s collar and prevented his drowning. The man, started yelling about how his life was precious and toying with it like that was unjust, Osamu, though a little shaken, remarked he had nothing in this life: the older guy, probably in his 40’s, introduced himself as Fukuzawa Yukichi, he later explained how he also despised existence for a while, because of his past doings, and it seemed the child could fully understand what he meant, Fukuzawa cautiously approached the kid as brown eyes followed his movements; it took a few seconds for Dazai to realize Yukichi was now standing in front of him, feeling chills down his spine as silver eyes examined him with a serious expression.
“What’s your name, child?”
“…Dazai, Dazai Osamu, why?”
“how long have you been doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Wasting your life away.”
Dazai felt somewhat personally attached by the last sentence, his body tensing up in anticipation, though nothing happened, Yukichi just stood there, patiently waiting for an answer to his words: Dazai’s bandaged hand scratched the back of his head as if to say he had no actual answer than “life is boring”, Fukuzawa, slowly placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, as to not frighten him, though he froze:
“You want to belong somewhere, right?”
“..yeah.”
“Then… please, stay alive.” “..”
“Regardless of what this life is to you, please.. stay alive.”
Now that sent Dazai into “silent-reboot mode”, the hand resting on his shoulder was relaxed and wasn’t intending any harm towards him, Yukichi had simply asked him to not end his life, it had no hidden intentions or meanings, yet he felt threatened, threatened by the fact an adult was not slamming his fist in his face for just existing: Yukichi seemed to sense this, and was slowly removing his hand from the kid’s shoulder, as a reaction, Dazai moved closer; in disbelief of what Fukuzawa said, maybe he was even moved.
“..but, why?? I’m useless, just like my ability..”
“Are you? Or do you just believe who says so?”
Osamu was finally rendered speechless, having no valid counter argument to the truth, he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that, he was not the useless existence his mother always shunned, or the reason his father ran off with another woman when he was five, or why his mother was sick: he couldn’t even formulate comprehensible words, his eyes had begun filling with tears, and he hugged Fukuzawa without a second thought, which slightly surprised him, he patted the little boy’s head.
“I’m scared…!”
“You’ll be okay, don’t worry.”
ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY FOUNDER, DETECTIVE DAZAI OSAMU:
Dazai Osamu is a skilled Detective of the Armed Detective Agency, forming it along with Fukuzawa, rescuing the “Angel Of Death” Yosano Akiko, and Kunikida Doppo’s daily pain in the ass: along with Fukuzawa, he founded the Agency, despite no longer wearing bandages, his suicidal tendencies are still present, though their impact significantly lessened thanks to Yukichi: he's seen to have a sibling-like relationship with Yosano and fatherly protectiveness over their newest co-worker, Atsushi Nakajima, his underling; Dazai still, almost entirely relies on guns and his ability, which is why his combat stile hardly changes at all, though he is more merciful to enemies. Yosano frequently bickers with him, although he does not listen, she only stops when Kunikida gets involved in the mess: having absolutely no ties to do the mafia in this timeline, his violent ways also highly decrease, fortunately never meeting Mori or Akutagawa, though his flirty attitude wasn't affected (poor waitress), he quickly took a liking to Natsume-Sensei and, like his mentor, he often carries cat snacks in his sleeves, should he encounter any stray cats.
Ranpo’s (Un)fortunate meeting with Mori and the Heartless Mafia Executive! (Ranpo in my Souheki Roleswap! AU)
previous part.
⚠️TW: murder, assault(?), torture, sadism, masochism⚠️
After being beat up badly at the theatre, Ranpo was brought to a doctor that was also there for the play, his doctor's coat was as white as snow, in contrast to his dark hair and eyes: his aura was eerie, it grounded him with an irrational fear, the boy showed no signs of being afraid of doctors or hospitals before, or anything related to that, the man walked closer to the couch the boy was on, smiling; "Hello, Ranpo-kun, I'll be your doctor for today." And that's when it hit, that guy wasn't any ordinary medic, and he was sure the guy knew that, given the sinister smile he had, "My name is Ougai Mori," he had begun speaking again, his predatory voice had the boy on alert, his body was ready to rush out the door, should the doctor do anything risky or highly suspicious, he was prepared, he did not feel safe there. Ougai crouched a little so his dark hair brushed against Edogawa's face, looking at him rather seductively, his cold fingers touching his now very pale cheeks, "What's wrong? You look like you saw a ghost", Ranpo didn't know how to answer that, he wouldn't, as he was aware that the words from his mouth were filthier than need be, he only shifted his position to secure his legs on the bed, he backed up a bit from the medic slowly, Ougai moved his hands and reached for the tools he needed to clean up the blood from the kid's face: moving an inch felt as if it would make the world collapse, even breathing, so he stayed dead silent, seeing how brute and sketchy the guards treated him, even if only by a stare or a sigh, he deduced he was a mafia doctor, Mori was too busy humming an unrecognizable tune while sorting through his utensils to notice anything, so much so that Ranpo could almost walk out the door, almost, "Where are you going?" He froze in his tracks, eyes wide and glued to the floor, managing to acquire a calm attitude before turning around, a little smile on his face as he adjusted his hat, "The play's starting, can we go, mister?" Mori agreed and they made their way to the theatre after the wounds were stitched, Mori walking alarmingly close to him, happily humming.
In their seats, Ranpo couldn't help but yell out the answer in complete frustration, Mori, instead of scolding him, encouraged his outburst and simply patted his head in understanding: as the murderer on stage finished his speech, Mori stayed on stage throughout and mentally picked Ranpo apart, inserting the idea that those too foolish to understand him, those who dared to argue back and question his intelligence, should be silenced eternally: cut to the theatre being filled with dead silence, crimson wine staining everything, from ceiling to stage, a blade shining in the spotlight; "I knew you were a natural, Ranpo-kun!" The boy's previously glowing emerald eyes saw in a withered, lightless green, emotionlessly,
Ranpo Edogawa, a twenty-six year old Executive working under Mori, is specialized in interrogation and assassination, is known to have masochist and sadistic tendencies towards himself and his enemies: frequently resorting to torture for self-enjoyment, even he is under it himself, he does not show the least bit of displeasure, critizing and debunking their means and such instead, an avid lover of switchblades and knives in general (curtesy of Mori), prefers to go on missions with either Chuuya or alone, them being an exceptional team in the Mafia for their effectiveness and success, he's rather nice to the redhead, if the annoying bickering is put aside; apart from one-on-one combat, he's surprisingly athletic, shifting from rooftop to rooftop with ease, loves taunting his persecutors before torturing and killing them off, moving onto the next bloodbath to be executed flawlessly. His life outside of work is one of a cat and dog lover who often visits animal shelters and a particular library owned by an occult enthusiast and a famous American mystery novel writer, who offer him sweets as he reads the day away, often being the last one to stay in the library, helping out as they close up for the day and waving goodbye; still, even in the Mafia, he's the most apathetic towards human life, not caring who lives and who dies, who's innocent and who is not, they are all the same to him, shedding blood without blinking: despite this, he could be described as childish and generous by outsiders who aren't aware of his line of work, maybe even sweet.
hii sorry for not posting I'm writing a very angsty Souheki fic as it has become my duty to spread the world with my lords.
[sum lore in the tags!!]
Souheki fic sneak peak!!
I felt bad about not posting so here you go!! :)
TW: SUICIDE MENTION
POV: your colleague comes to the hospital on each of your attempts even when you tell him he doesn't have to