Silver Spoon Net. - Tumblr Posts

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Welcome to The Silver Spoon Net.

We're beyond thrilled to officially be launching The Silver Spoon, a network which is open to all kinds of content creators for BTS! We are excited as well as dedicated towards sharing work created by our lovely members. This includes but is not limited to fanfiction, gfx, fanart & more!

We have further decided to set ourselves apart by accepting applications for those who beta read but do not create any content of their own. One of our admins is a prime example of a lovely beta who does this.

We are a network that allow anyone 16 or older to join & use our tag for their work. It is not an open tag, so you must be a member to use it.

If you would like to have access to the discord server, you must be 18 years of age or older. There are no exceptions to this rule.

The Silver Spoon will closely work alongside its sister blog, @homeofbangtan so if you are someone who loves to work with others in collaborative works, this network will be the first to hear about all our events over there!

If you wish to become a member within our net, please do the following:

follow our network!

reblog this post

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reblog the acceptance post

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with love, Faye & Simran

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Acceptances #1

Congratulations on your acceptance into the net @joyfulhopelox, @bangtanhome, @delacyrose224, @ttaetae, @randombtsprincessa

Now that you’re accepted into our lovely little network, please do the following:

reblog this post

add us to your list of networks

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start using the #silverspoon tag for any of your BTS content & work

If you have opted for the discord you will soon get a link if you haven’t already. We are so excited to have you!

With love from Faye & Simran x

You Send Me

Pairing: Jin x reader

Words: 1.9k

Warnings/rating: SFW, reader is oblivious to Jin's pining but it all works out in the end

Author's Note: This is a part of the 50's collab over on @homeofbangtan! Thanks to @ttaetae for the banner, and to @hyungieyoongi for listening to me gripe while trying to come up with ideas for this story! Special shoutout to @moon-write for reading through this once I was done as well. :)

---------------------------------------

“What IS that thing?!”

You look over at the man who’s sitting beside you in your Chevy Bel Air. He’s been scooting closer and closer to you throughout the night, his hand now inches from yours as you sit at the drive-in.

“...The Blob? Have you not been paying attention at all?” Your face scrunches in disappointment.

“I have, it’s just...AHHH!!” he grasps your arm tightly as the creature on the screen devours a diner similar to the one he works in.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the passenger side window. Your guest rolls down the window, and you see one of your old students, Jungkook, peering in.

“Can you keep it down, we’ve had some comp-,” he starts, but his eyes light up in recognition once he sees you. “Oh hey, Ms. Y/L/N! Long time, no see. Like I was saying, we’ve had some complaints from other customers, couldya keep it down?” Jungkook looks at the man beside you.

Before he can get in a word edgewise, you lean over and answer. “Absolutely. I’ll make sure Jin stops being a candy ass,” you laugh as Jungkook’s eyes go wide in shock at your language. He quickly recovers and gives the two of you a small wave as he walks off.

Jin starts to roll up the window and looks over at you. “I am not a candy ass,” he hisses in embarrassment.

“Oh, you just like screaming loudly at drive-ins because you want to disturb others? How inconsiderate of you,” you tut with a laugh.

“How in Sam Hill do you watch these things to unwind?” he asks, removing his hand from your arm slower than he needs to. He would never say it out loud, but he loved the way you felt warm under his touch, much softer than his rough hands that were constantly at work in a kitchen.

“I dunno,” you shrug. “It’s just a clear break from working with my students day in and day out. I love them, but it’s hard, you know? Horror flicks give my brain a chance to zone out, a distraction.”

“I can think of better distractions.” Jin murmurs under his breath, hoping you don’t hear, but to no avail.

“Such as?”

Such as kissing your cherry painted lips, for starters.

“Such as my excellent cooking, for starters. Let’s swing by the diner, I’ll make your favorite for you.” Jin smiles at you, and you can’t help smiling back.

After the movie is over, you drive back across town to Jin’s diner. Well, it’s not really his, but you’ve never met the owner, so in your head it was as good as his.

“Here you are, my lady...a bacon cheeseburger, extra crispy fries with ranch on the side.” He places the plate in front of you and your mouth immediately begins to water. “And a strawberry shake to share.” The pink dessert is placed between you, two straws included.

“Careful, people might start to think you’re sweet on me. Sharing milkshakes and all.” You grin up at him playfully, only to be met with Jin’s eyes staring at you intensely.

“And would that be so bad?” He questions, itching to reach across the table and place his hand on top of yours. Instead he settles for sipping from the strawberry shake you’re sharing, his hand wrapped around the glass.

You smile coquettishly up at him through your lashes in answer. He gulps, not having expected you to respond in this way. The collar of his shirt suddenly feels tight, and it’s way too hot in the room.

You laugh, breaking the tension, clearly thinking his question was a joke. Where he felt hot before, it’s as if he’s had a bucket of cold water thrown on him. What would he have to do to get you to understand how on the hook he was for you?

--------------------

Tuesday afternoon you’re in your usual booth at the diner, working on lesson plans for the next week, when Jin comes by with an order of extra crispy fries and a large Coke. He always does this, and has done this since you became a permanent fixture at the diner.

“Don’t work too hard, okay?” You barely look up at him, too interested in planning a history lesson for your 12th graders. He shakes his head as he walks back to the kitchen. He’s always admired your dedication to your work, your students...but you sometimes worked too hard. Didn’t take enough breaks. Were too hard on yourself.

After a few minutes, the smell of your fries is too much. You push your notebook off to the side and pull the basket closer to you, eagerly diving in. You’re convinced that Jin makes the best fries in town...everyone else burns them when you ask for them extra crispy, and the diner makes their ranch in house. You sigh in delight, closing your eyes as the fries hit your tongue. It isn’t long before you’ve polished off the whole basket.

You get up from your booth to go wash your hands and stretch your legs before sitting back down to continue your work. As you walk back, the glowing lights of the jukebox sitting in the corner draw you in. You find yourself perusing the selections, searching for one song in particular...there it is.

You slot your coins into the machine and press the corresponding buttons, and after a few seconds, Sam Cooke’s voice starts to waft through the speakers.

As you slide back into your booth, you can hear a tenor’s voice floating over to you from the kitchens as well.

At first I thought it was infatuation

But, woo, it's lasted so long

Now I find myself wanting

To marry you and take you home, woah-woah

You’d noticed one day that Jin tended to sing under his breath while he was cooking, but everytime You Send Me was selected on the jukebox, his voice became loud enough to carry throughout the diner. It was lovely to listen to, and it became your little secret. He didn’t know people could hear him, and you had a suspicion that he wouldn’t sing if he knew that was the case. So every few days, more often if you were feeling particularly down, you’d pay to hear Jin sing without him knowing.

Little did you know, he would think about you every time he heard that particular song. He’s always thought you were pretty, ever since you stepped foot in the diner when you first moved to town about two years ago to teach at the local high school. When he figured out that you were working on lesson plans, he started sending Taehyung, one of the waiters, over with free milkshakes every so often. Eventually he decided to take you a milkshake and dinner himself, and ended up chatting with you at your booth for over an hour (what his boss didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him). He knew you were a teacher, you loved your students, you refused to wear skirts and dresses just because society expected you to, and you enjoyed horror flicks in your free time. Jin found himself spending his work breaks sitting with you at your booth, watching your eyes light up every time you talked about the latest movie you’d seen, your favorite students Soobin and Taehyun, or your opinions on gender roles, how you were so much more than just a wannabe housewife. You were right...you were so much more, at least to Jin. He loved that you didn’t care what others thought about you.

He just hoped that you cared what he thought. Not that he would ever tell you what to do or how to be, but he held out a small sliver of hope that maybe one day, you would be interested in a diner line cook with big dreams to be a world-renowned chef.

-----------------------------------

It continues on this way for weeks. You sit in your booth, Jin brings you food. The jukebox plays, the entire diner gets a free concert. Every other weekend, you find yourself accompanied to the drive-in, even though every time, Jin ends up shrieking like a small child at whatever horror flick you’ve chosen.

Jin can’t stop staring at you from across the diner. The more time he spends with you, the more he wants to kiss you. Hold your hand. Go steady. Why couldn’t he just say something?

“Whatcha looking at?” You peek your head through the small window that peers into the kitchen.

“Huh?”

“I said, whatcha looking at?” you repeat, raising your eyebrow.

“Oh, uh-nothing, nothing,” he quickly replies, busying himself with cleaning the counter in front of him.

“You haven’t come to see me today,” you pout.

Jin chuckles. “It’s been busy today. My new burger went on the menu, turns out it’s a home run!”

You continue to pout at him.

“Fine, let me finish up this order and I'll grace you with my presence.” You grin satisfactorily and march back to your booth. Jin shakes his head and smiles watching you go.

Except he doesn’t come over to see you after that order is done. A giant group of high schoolers pile into the diner, forcing him to work double time and make sure they are all taken care of.

Tired of waiting, you take it upon yourself to stroll over to the jukebox and play You Send Me, as usual. It only takes a few seconds before Jin’s voice starts to carry over the diner. He opens the door from the kitchen, shocked to see everyone’s eyes on him. He makes a beeline for your booth, ears flaming red.

“Has the whole diner always been able to hear me singing?!” he hisses angrily under his breath at you.

You laugh in response. “Only when you’re singing Sam Cooke, don’t worry.”

The flush on Jin’s ears spreads to his cheeks as he realizes how often that song has played over the jukebox.

“Can I tell you something?” you ask, slightly embarrassed. Jin’s embarrassment fades as he notes the seriousness of your tone.

“Of course, always.” He reaches across the table, placing his hand on top of yours, causing you to look into his eyes.

“I’m the one who plays You Send Me on the jukebox. On purpose.”

“What do you mean?” Jin cocks an eyebrow, confused.

“I mean...I play it so I can hear you sing. I like hearing you sing,” you mumble, but he’s able to understand even as you look down at the table.

“Can I tell you something?” It’s your turn to be confused.

“What?”

“I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.”

Jin leans forward, closing the distance between the two of you. His eyes travel to your lips, cherry colored as always. His hands shakily come up to cup the sides of your face, his breath ghosting over your mouth. Before he can second guess himself, you’ve closed the remaining distance, lips meeting his. Both of you break into matching smiles, laughter breaking the kiss almost as quickly as it had begun.

As Jin settles back into his side of the booth, your laughter continues.

“What? I can’t be that bad at kissing...right?” His eyes go round with worry.

“It’s just...you’ve got something. Right there.” You take a napkin and dab at the corner of his mouth, which has your red lipstick smeared on it.

“I can think of worse things,” he chuckles.

“Careful...people might start to think you’re sweet on me.”

--------------------------

Check out my other work here!

Taglist: @alpacaparkaseok @hyungieyoongi @derinxfam

Maria!! Thank you for your kind words 🥺 all I can hope for is people uwu-ing while reading my stories 🥺🥺

You Send Me

Pairing: Jin x reader

Words: 1.9k

Warnings/rating: SFW, reader is oblivious to Jin's pining but it all works out in the end

Author's Note: This is a part of the 50's collab over on @homeofbangtan! Thanks to @ttaetae for the banner, and to @hyungieyoongi for listening to me gripe while trying to come up with ideas for this story! Special shoutout to @moon-write for reading through this once I was done as well. :)

---------------------------------------

“What IS that thing?!”

You look over at the man who’s sitting beside you in your Chevy Bel Air. He’s been scooting closer and closer to you throughout the night, his hand now inches from yours as you sit at the drive-in.

“...The Blob? Have you not been paying attention at all?” Your face scrunches in disappointment.

“I have, it’s just...AHHH!!” he grasps your arm tightly as the creature on the screen devours a diner similar to the one he works in.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the passenger side window. Your guest rolls down the window, and you see one of your old students, Jungkook, peering in.

“Can you keep it down, we’ve had some comp-,” he starts, but his eyes light up in recognition once he sees you. “Oh hey, Ms. Y/L/N! Long time, no see. Like I was saying, we’ve had some complaints from other customers, couldya keep it down?” Jungkook looks at the man beside you.

Before he can get in a word edgewise, you lean over and answer. “Absolutely. I’ll make sure Jin stops being a candy ass,” you laugh as Jungkook’s eyes go wide in shock at your language. He quickly recovers and gives the two of you a small wave as he walks off.

Jin starts to roll up the window and looks over at you. “I am not a candy ass,” he hisses in embarrassment.

“Oh, you just like screaming loudly at drive-ins because you want to disturb others? How inconsiderate of you,” you tut with a laugh.

“How in Sam Hill do you watch these things to unwind?” he asks, removing his hand from your arm slower than he needs to. He would never say it out loud, but he loved the way you felt warm under his touch, much softer than his rough hands that were constantly at work in a kitchen.

“I dunno,” you shrug. “It’s just a clear break from working with my students day in and day out. I love them, but it’s hard, you know? Horror flicks give my brain a chance to zone out, a distraction.”

“I can think of better distractions.” Jin murmurs under his breath, hoping you don’t hear, but to no avail.

“Such as?”

Such as kissing your cherry painted lips, for starters.

“Such as my excellent cooking, for starters. Let’s swing by the diner, I’ll make your favorite for you.” Jin smiles at you, and you can’t help smiling back.

After the movie is over, you drive back across town to Jin’s diner. Well, it’s not really his, but you’ve never met the owner, so in your head it was as good as his.

“Here you are, my lady...a bacon cheeseburger, extra crispy fries with ranch on the side.” He places the plate in front of you and your mouth immediately begins to water. “And a strawberry shake to share.” The pink dessert is placed between you, two straws included.

“Careful, people might start to think you’re sweet on me. Sharing milkshakes and all.” You grin up at him playfully, only to be met with Jin’s eyes staring at you intensely.

“And would that be so bad?” He questions, itching to reach across the table and place his hand on top of yours. Instead he settles for sipping from the strawberry shake you’re sharing, his hand wrapped around the glass.

You smile coquettishly up at him through your lashes in answer. He gulps, not having expected you to respond in this way. The collar of his shirt suddenly feels tight, and it’s way too hot in the room.

You laugh, breaking the tension, clearly thinking his question was a joke. Where he felt hot before, it’s as if he’s had a bucket of cold water thrown on him. What would he have to do to get you to understand how on the hook he was for you?

--------------------

Tuesday afternoon you’re in your usual booth at the diner, working on lesson plans for the next week, when Jin comes by with an order of extra crispy fries and a large Coke. He always does this, and has done this since you became a permanent fixture at the diner.

“Don’t work too hard, okay?” You barely look up at him, too interested in planning a history lesson for your 12th graders. He shakes his head as he walks back to the kitchen. He’s always admired your dedication to your work, your students...but you sometimes worked too hard. Didn’t take enough breaks. Were too hard on yourself.

After a few minutes, the smell of your fries is too much. You push your notebook off to the side and pull the basket closer to you, eagerly diving in. You’re convinced that Jin makes the best fries in town...everyone else burns them when you ask for them extra crispy, and the diner makes their ranch in house. You sigh in delight, closing your eyes as the fries hit your tongue. It isn’t long before you’ve polished off the whole basket.

You get up from your booth to go wash your hands and stretch your legs before sitting back down to continue your work. As you walk back, the glowing lights of the jukebox sitting in the corner draw you in. You find yourself perusing the selections, searching for one song in particular...there it is.

You slot your coins into the machine and press the corresponding buttons, and after a few seconds, Sam Cooke’s voice starts to waft through the speakers.

As you slide back into your booth, you can hear a tenor’s voice floating over to you from the kitchens as well.

At first I thought it was infatuation

But, woo, it's lasted so long

Now I find myself wanting

To marry you and take you home, woah-woah

You’d noticed one day that Jin tended to sing under his breath while he was cooking, but everytime You Send Me was selected on the jukebox, his voice became loud enough to carry throughout the diner. It was lovely to listen to, and it became your little secret. He didn’t know people could hear him, and you had a suspicion that he wouldn’t sing if he knew that was the case. So every few days, more often if you were feeling particularly down, you’d pay to hear Jin sing without him knowing.

Little did you know, he would think about you every time he heard that particular song. He’s always thought you were pretty, ever since you stepped foot in the diner when you first moved to town about two years ago to teach at the local high school. When he figured out that you were working on lesson plans, he started sending Taehyung, one of the waiters, over with free milkshakes every so often. Eventually he decided to take you a milkshake and dinner himself, and ended up chatting with you at your booth for over an hour (what his boss didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him). He knew you were a teacher, you loved your students, you refused to wear skirts and dresses just because society expected you to, and you enjoyed horror flicks in your free time. Jin found himself spending his work breaks sitting with you at your booth, watching your eyes light up every time you talked about the latest movie you’d seen, your favorite students Soobin and Taehyun, or your opinions on gender roles, how you were so much more than just a wannabe housewife. You were right...you were so much more, at least to Jin. He loved that you didn’t care what others thought about you.

He just hoped that you cared what he thought. Not that he would ever tell you what to do or how to be, but he held out a small sliver of hope that maybe one day, you would be interested in a diner line cook with big dreams to be a world-renowned chef.

-----------------------------------

It continues on this way for weeks. You sit in your booth, Jin brings you food. The jukebox plays, the entire diner gets a free concert. Every other weekend, you find yourself accompanied to the drive-in, even though every time, Jin ends up shrieking like a small child at whatever horror flick you’ve chosen.

Jin can’t stop staring at you from across the diner. The more time he spends with you, the more he wants to kiss you. Hold your hand. Go steady. Why couldn’t he just say something?

“Whatcha looking at?” You peek your head through the small window that peers into the kitchen.

“Huh?”

“I said, whatcha looking at?” you repeat, raising your eyebrow.

“Oh, uh-nothing, nothing,” he quickly replies, busying himself with cleaning the counter in front of him.

“You haven’t come to see me today,” you pout.

Jin chuckles. “It’s been busy today. My new burger went on the menu, turns out it’s a home run!”

You continue to pout at him.

“Fine, let me finish up this order and I'll grace you with my presence.” You grin satisfactorily and march back to your booth. Jin shakes his head and smiles watching you go.

Except he doesn’t come over to see you after that order is done. A giant group of high schoolers pile into the diner, forcing him to work double time and make sure they are all taken care of.

Tired of waiting, you take it upon yourself to stroll over to the jukebox and play You Send Me, as usual. It only takes a few seconds before Jin’s voice starts to carry over the diner. He opens the door from the kitchen, shocked to see everyone’s eyes on him. He makes a beeline for your booth, ears flaming red.

“Has the whole diner always been able to hear me singing?!” he hisses angrily under his breath at you.

You laugh in response. “Only when you’re singing Sam Cooke, don’t worry.”

The flush on Jin’s ears spreads to his cheeks as he realizes how often that song has played over the jukebox.

“Can I tell you something?” you ask, slightly embarrassed. Jin’s embarrassment fades as he notes the seriousness of your tone.

“Of course, always.” He reaches across the table, placing his hand on top of yours, causing you to look into his eyes.

“I’m the one who plays You Send Me on the jukebox. On purpose.”

“What do you mean?” Jin cocks an eyebrow, confused.

“I mean...I play it so I can hear you sing. I like hearing you sing,” you mumble, but he’s able to understand even as you look down at the table.

“Can I tell you something?” It’s your turn to be confused.

“What?”

“I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.”

Jin leans forward, closing the distance between the two of you. His eyes travel to your lips, cherry colored as always. His hands shakily come up to cup the sides of your face, his breath ghosting over your mouth. Before he can second guess himself, you’ve closed the remaining distance, lips meeting his. Both of you break into matching smiles, laughter breaking the kiss almost as quickly as it had begun.

As Jin settles back into his side of the booth, your laughter continues.

“What? I can’t be that bad at kissing...right?” His eyes go round with worry.

“It’s just...you’ve got something. Right there.” You take a napkin and dab at the corner of his mouth, which has your red lipstick smeared on it.

“I can think of worse things,” he chuckles.

“Careful...people might start to think you’re sweet on me.”

--------------------------

Check out my other work here!

Taglist: @alpacaparkaseok @hyungieyoongi @derinxfam

Starlight

-Pairing: Yoongi x reader

-Words: 462

-Warnings/rating: SFW, established relationship au, reader is doubtful about their future but Yoongi is the sweetest, honestly this is just a ball of fluff

-Author's Note: Here it is, a less than 500 word drabble (which if you know me, is daunting) just for @alpacaparkaseok's birthday! A combo of Yoongi and Taylor Swift inspiration with stargazing, what's not to love? Hope you enjoy, friend!!

----------------------------

“And that one there, that’s Orion’s Belt.”

The man beside you points out to the wide expanse of stars in front of you, while you squint to try and make out what he’s looking at.

“There?” You tilt your head, pointing at the grouping of stars in his sight line.

A warm hand envelops yours, guiding your hand slightly over to the right.

“...there.” As you look beside you, you’re met with a small smile. You can’t help the grin that breaks across your face in response.

“What’re you smiling about, hm?” He nudges you gently with his shoulder.

You’re smiling because you can’t help it. Your boyfriend, who everyone thinks is so serious all the time, is a giant softie-but only for you. It had been his idea to go up to the highest point in the local park and go stargazing.

You sigh contentedly, leaning into his chest instead of answering his question.

“You’re so cold! Hang on a minute…” He turns and rifles through the messenger bag he’s brought with him, suddenly producing a thermos of hot chocolate and two cups. He carefully pours one for each of you and as he hands you a cup, you lean back, burrowing into his added warmth.

“Yoongi?”

“Hmm?” He absentmindedly trails his hand up and down your arm, tracing random patterns.

“Do you ever feel like...your dreams are impossible to reach?” you whisper, almost too softly for him to even hear you.

“What do you mean, lovely?” He leans his head over your shoulder, folding himself into the crook of your neck.

“I mean...sometimes, I just feel like everything I want to accomplish is out of reach. Will I ever get my dream job, move out of this town? Travel the world? It feels impossible. What’s even the point of wanting all that if it isn’t even going to come true, you know?”

Yoongi wraps his arms around you, pulling you even closer to him.

“It’s not out of reach, it just may be harder to pull down from the sky. I know you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to-you want to travel? You will. Your dream job? I have no doubt that you’ll put in more than enough work to get it. Dreams can change along the way too, don’t forget…but I believe in you and your dreams.”

You turn in his arms to face him. “How can you be so sure, though?”

“Because,” he smiles, “I thought my own dream was impossible, but turns out I just had to put in a lot of work for it.”

“Wait…what was your impossible dream?” you respond quizzically.

He leans in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead then brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You.”

——————————————

Check out my other work here!

Taglist: @alpacaparkaseok @hyungieyoongi @derinxfam

'Tis the Damn Season

-Pairing: Namjoon x reader

-Words: 3.5k

-Ratings/warnings: SFW, angsty but with fluff, sex is alluded to/mentioned (but nothing explicit), non-idol AU

-Author's Note: Just in case you wanted an angsty antidote to the fluffy holiday story I published the other day, here you go! This feels way different than anything else I've ever written to me. Something about Joon just makes me want to be angsty...but it does end on a positive note. Inspired by Taylor Swift's 'tis the damn season. Enjoy!

--------------------------------------

“But I’m right where you left me…”

You reach for your car stereo to turn the music off as you drum your fingers against the steering wheel. The last thing you needed was a reminder of how much things hadn’t changed since you left home. Sure, you lived in the city now with a different job, but that was about it. You still had no idea what you were doing with your life. You had all these grand plans to write your own book, get published, book tours, the whole thing. Yet every time you managed to send out your manuscript, it got rejected. You couldn’t bear hearing ‘no’ another time, so you gave up about a year and a half into it.

You decided you would have a fresh start, try writing something else. Only problem is, every time you sat in front of your computer, you just stared at the screen. Willing yourself to have a thought that you could put to words-nothing. You’d been too scared to tell your parents or any of your friends about how difficult it had become, so they were all under the impression that you were almost done writing a whole book.

You sigh as these thoughts take you through the streets of your hometown, all the way to your parents’ driveway. They’d convinced you that you should spend the holidays with them this year, rather than them driving into the city to stay with you like they had the past few years. This is the first time you’d been back since you left a few years ago…yet somehow, everything looks the same.

As you throw your car into park, your phone chirps at you, alerting you to an incoming text.

Joon: Hey, your mom told me you’d be in town for Christmas…we should catch up!

Kim Namjoon. Your high school best friend, who you’d lost contact with for the most part since you moved away after finishing college. Of course your mother ran into him and told him you’d be here.

It’s not that you don’t want to see him, necessarily. It’s just…you’d changed. And you assume he had as well. Three years ago when you’d moved away, things had been complicated. You’d both figured out you’d been dancing around feelings for each other for a long time. There had never been a good time to say anything, because you’d be dating someone, then he would be. It all had come to a head the night before you moved away, both of you crying when you decided long distance was not something you were willing to try, and things would be too different once you were gone.

You hadn’t seen him since, and the only communication you’d had was an occasional text message for birthdays or just seeing how you each were doing. Before you can think too hard, you shoot off a reply.

Yeah sure. Booked Up on Wednesday? 3?

You throw out the suggestion of your old hometown haunt, a bookstore and cafe downtown. He sends a reply in the affirmative, and you gather your things and head inside your parents’ house.

They are overjoyed to see you, full of hugs and questions about how you’ve been. You can feel some of your stress melt away as you chat about how you’ve been, your dad taking your things to your old room and your mom sitting you down with a cup of coffee in the living room.

—-------------------------------------------

You rapidly adjust to a schedule of sleeping in, helping your mom with meals, and chatting with your dad about the news each day. You start to feel some of your stress lessen, until Wednesday afternoon rolls around and you’re heading downtown to meet Namjoon. How would this whole thing go? Would it be like nothing had changed? Or everything?

The bell over the door at Booked Up tinkles as you walk in, a smile immediately coming to your face as you remember afternoons after school curled up in an armchair, reading whatever YA fantasy had caught your attention while sipping on a latte and stealing glances at the boy who would be across from you, brows furrowed as he read his newest philosophy tome.

Your face falls as you see the boy in question, now a man, sitting in his normal chair, the same furrowed brows as always. He glances up as the door closes behind you, a huge smile lighting up his face when he realizes it’s you. His book is placed on a side table, and before you’ve had time to realize what’s happening, he’s enveloped you in a hug, the woodsy notes of his cologne invading your nostrils. You reach your hands behind his broad back, returning the embrace.

“Take a seat, I’ll grab you a drink,” he smiles, rushing off before you have the chance to reply.

You sink into an armchair opposite his, watching him order from a friendly barista. He returns a few minutes later, handing you a steaming mug while warning you that it’s hot.

“A honey latte?” you ask, incredulous.

“Of course, that’s what you’d always get after school when we’d come here. I may not have seen you in a few years, but I haven’t forgotten.” A dimple forms in his cheek as he smiles over at you, and you find yourself echoing his grin.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as awkward as you’d feared on the drive over. You’re able to easily slide into conversation as if you’ve never left, catching each other up on your lives. Namjoon is a high school English teacher, and has never left town. He lives alone, though he tells you he’d have a pet if he thought he could keep one alive. Instead, he’s settled for plants and has proven to have somewhat of a green thumb.

He asks about your life in the ‘big city’, as he puts it. You laugh, telling him about your job, your friends, your dog. You leave out that you haven’t published anything, or accomplished any of the goals you’d set for yourself three years ago when you left.

Namjoon can tell you’re not quite telling him everything, but he doesn’t press for more. Instead, he offers to walk you to your car when you realize you’d promised your mom to help cook dinner. As you’re about to get into your car, he suddenly reaches out and grabs your arm, causing you to look back.

“Hey, would you uh…want to drive around and see Christmas lights with me Friday night? Like old times? The kids get out of school for the holidays that day, and I haven’t been able to do much of anything I’d consider festive yet…only if you want to, of course.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking nervous.

“I’d love to,” you reply easily, happy that things aren’t weird between the two of you. You have no idea why he’s acting nervous, but you chalk it up to the fact that you haven’t seen each other in years.

You find yourself looking forward to Friday night, telling your parents that you’re spending time with Namjoon. They share a look between each other with small smiles on their faces.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

They simply laugh and tell you nothing, they’re just glad the two of you are hanging out again.

—----------------------------------------

When Friday rolls around, you drive over to the empty parking lot between the high school and the Methodist church that sits next door. As you climb out of the driver’s seat, you see Namjoon walking towards you from the school, giving you a small wave as he does so. Once again, you’re enveloped by his embrace as he greets you. This time, the familiar smell of his cologne stirs a warm feeling inside of you that you can’t quite name.

As he draws away from you, he leads you to his car, mud caked all over the tires.

“There was a big rainstorm the other day,” he comments as he notices you looking.

“And you were driving in it?”

“I come and park my car here sometimes when it’s raining, it helps me think. Reminds me of when we used to come here.” He shrugs, but you notice a tinge of sadness flickering in his eyes.

You choose not to comment on it, instead climbing into his passenger seat. You notice two to-go cups sitting in his cup holder, both clearly steaming.

“What’s that?” you ask, gesturing towards the middle console.

“Hot chocolate from Booked Up. You really think I was going to take you to see Christmas lights without bringing hot chocolate? I’m offended.” He places a hand over his chest for emphasis, and you laugh. He laughs along with you, his dimples making another appearance. The same warm feeling that happened when he hugged you returns, but even stronger. You choose again to ignore it.

You drive around in silence, the only sound filling the air is Christmas music from the radio. It’s not uncomfortable, rather you’re just enjoying being in each others’ presence. You stare out at the houses covered in multicolor string lights, musing over how long it’s been since you’ve done this with your former best friend.

“Joon?”

He glances over, surprised by your use of his old nickname…he hasn’t heard it in years.

“Yeah?”

“Are you happy?” You refuse to look at him as you ask, choosing to stare out the window instead.

Seeing you not looking over, Namjoon stares out in front of him instead. “I think so…I really love my job, the town, and my plants,” he chuckles. “The city’s not too far away if I want to go to a museum or festival.”

There’s a long silence where neither of you says anything.

“I miss you, though.” He offers into the space, letting it settle over you. “Are you happy?”

Another long silence.

“Not really.” You feel tears threatening to spill over your lash line, though you’re still staring at houses dripping in Christmas lights. “I…I haven’t managed to publish anything. My friends and family think I’m working on a brand new project, but I haven’t finished the first. Instead, I’m doing menial grunt work for everyone else while my creativity is just dying.”

“...oh.” Namjoon breathes out beside you, not sure what else to say.

“I missed you too.” This time, you glance over at the man beside you, tears falling freely down your face.

Without you noticing, Namjoon has pulled his car back into the parking lot you left from.

He turns to you, wiping tears away with his thumbs as his hands cradle your face. You can see the beginnings of tears swimming in his own eyes.

“I-I wish you never left,” he manages to stutter.

There’s yet another silence between you in the space of the car, but this time the warm feeling rises up in you again as the man beside you gazes over at you. Instead of tamping it down, you choose to embrace it, just as Namjoon had embraced you upon your return.

“...I’m here now, Joon.” You lean tentatively towards him across the console, and he meets you halfway, holding your face in his hands.

“Is this okay?” he breathes, warmth fanning across your face. Your answer is your lips meeting his, gently at first but growing more insistent as he eagerly responds. His hands tangle in your hair, your tongue probing to get access to his mouth, which he grants with no hesitation.

After a few minutes, he pulls back and looks at you hesitantly.

“Do you…want to go back to my place?”

You nod shyly, and he smiles in response. As he starts the car again, he places a hand on your thigh, gently tracing shapes on your skin the whole drive to his apartment. He leads you upstairs to the third floor, and as soon as he’s closed the door behind the two of you, he’s pinned you to the wall in the foyer, lips on your neck.

“Joon…” you manage to sigh out, connecting your lips again as you stumble towards his bedroom.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he mumbles into your skin as he peppers kisses across your collarbone, both of you having fallen on top of the bed.

“I don’t know why we didn’t do this years ago,” you respond, rolling on top of him and starting to unbutton his shirt.

The two of you explore each other all night, and you’re shocked at how easy it all feels. Natural, like you’ve been in a relationship your whole lives. Each taking the utmost care when it comes to the other, and falling asleep in his arms late into the night.

—--------------------------------------------

You wake around noon the next day, only to find a vacant space next to you. You’re about to call out for Namjoon when he rounds the corner with a breakfast tray, setting it on your lap as you sit up.

You raise an eyebrow questioningly at his actions, and he just laughs.

“I can’t sleep past nine anymore these days, I’m too used to going to work early.”

He climbs into bed beside you as you start to eat, picking up a book from his bedside table and sliding glasses on.

You eat in comfortable silence, sneaking glances over at Namjoon every so often, his brows furrowed while he reads just like always. The warm feeling invades your chest again, leading you to move the breakfast tray aside, sliding over to lean against the man beside you, landing a quick kiss on his cheek.

His brows unfurrow, only to be replaced by his dimples and he looks over at you.

“Hi, babe.” He smiles down at you, and the affectionate nickname takes you by surprise, causing a grin to break across your face.

“Hi.”

—--------------------------------------------

You fall into a comfortable routine with Namjoon, spending any time away from your family with him, oftentimes spending the night at his apartment. However, as the week and the holidays dwindle away, you realize you’re due to drive back into the city the following day while with Namjoon at Booked Up.

“What do you think of this one?” He holds up another book to you, red with embossed gold letters.

“...I’m leaving tomorrow,” you mutter quietly in response.

“What?”

“I said, I’m leaving tomorrow,” you repeat, looking at the floor.

Namjoon quickly shelves the book in his hand, walking closer to you, fingers gently lifting your chin to face him.

“It feels like you just got here.” He murmurs in return, thumb gently stroking your cheek.

“I know.”

“Well…what does that mean for us?” Namjoon sounds nervous as he asks, eyes searching yours for some shred of hope to hold onto.

“There is no us, Joon. I have to go back, the city is too far, and like I told you, I’ve not been successful anyway. I can’t even write.”

His shoulders fall, foot scuffing the floor as he avoids eye contact.

“But you could just-”

“Don’t ask me to stay, you know I won’t. You asked me that last time and it didn’t work.” Your eyes start filling with tears thinking back on when you left last time, almost a carbon copy of the scene that’s playing out before you.

“This is different,” he states simply.

You shake your head. “No, it’s not. I have to go back. This week has been great, but that’s all it was…this week.”

Namjoon’s face steels over in resolve. “Fine. Can we at least keep in contact more than before?” His eyes hold a small glimmer of hope as he searches your face.

“Yes, I think that would be okay.”

The corners of his lips turn up, though the smile doesn’t quite meet his eyes. He simply nods and leans in to kiss your forehead.

“Safe travels,” he murmurs against your skin, then turns and leaves you standing in the bookstore as if you’d always been alone.

—------------------------------------------

The drive back to the city is quiet, save for your music gently playing in the background. You keep running over your conversation with Namjoon in your mind…you made the right decision. Right?

“But I’m right where you left me…”

The same song plays through your speaker as on your trip home, making you grimace. You really were in the same place as before…the only difference this time being that you’d reconnected (and slept with) the man you’d had a crush on all throughout high school and college, but here you were, the same broken girl who couldn’t write or publish a book, couldn’t tell her parents or friends the truth, and apparently couldn’t handle her own feelings.

A sense of déjà vu creeps over you as you pull into your apartment’s parking garage, your phone chirping with a text notification.

Joon: Hope you made it back safely. FaceTime tonight?

You can’t help the small smile that fights its way onto your face as you respond. You grab your things out of your backseat, and hurry up to your apartment to escape the cold. You’re greeted by your dog as you open the door, excited to see you after a week of being taken care of by one of your best friends, Jimin.

You put your bag down, and decide to try and work on your book on the couch. It stares at you like always, blankly. You have no idea where to start, and so decide to place an order for takeout delivery from your favorite restaurant. An hour later, you have made no progress and the doorbell rings.

You get up from the couch, plodding over to the door, opening it…only to see Namjoon standing in front of you.

“I think this is yours?” He holds up a bag of food.

“What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores your question to ask one of his own.

“Yes, of course…but what are you doing here?” you repeat, closing the door behind him.

“I decided FaceTime wasn’t enough. You said you had to go back, that the city was too far, so I came to you instead.” He plops down on the couch, placing your takeout on the table in front of him. He then starts unpacking the food, making sure everything that’s on the receipt is in the bag.

You round the table and take a seat next to him, knees touching. “You came here…just to see me?”

He nods nonchalantly, placing a plate of food in front of you. You take the plate and look at him incredulously. You can’t believe he’s driven here just to see you…this was certainly different than before.

He pulls out a book to read while you’re eating, and once you’re done, you scoot closer to him.

“What are you reading?” You peer over his shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the words.

“Wouldn’t you love to know?”

You nod with a smile on your face. “I wasn’t asking for fun.”

“Here,” he pats his lap, motioning for you to lay your head down. “I’ll read to you.”

It turns out that it’s a coming-of-age story, one that you quickly get engrossed in. You’re listening with rapt attention, so invested that it takes you a second to realize that Namjoon’s free hand that isn’t holding the book is carding slowly through your hair. The warmth you’ve come to associate with the man sitting in front of you blooms in your chest and spreads through your whole body. Suddenly, you have an idea and sit straight up, almost jostling the book from his grasp.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, concern lacing his features.

You don’t answer, instead racing over to your laptop, waking it from sleep mode. The blank page blinks up at you, but instead of being overwhelmed by it, it excites you. You reach out to the keys, slowly typing out the first sentence of your book.

“It always leads to you and my hometown.”

As the words sit in front of you, you can’t help but smile. You turn back to Namjoon, who finds your smile infectious, his own forming on his face.

“I just started my book. Finally.”

“Wait, really? What’s it about?” Namjoon is shocked at your news, but feels pride swell in his chest at your words.

“It’s about you…about us.” You reply bashfully, color working its way onto your cheeks.

“Really?” His voice is small, surprised. You nod.

In reply, he rushes over to you, grabbing your hands and forcing you to stand. Once you’re in front of him, he picks you up and twirls you around in a tight hug, his embrace starting to feel more and more like home.

You look up at him once he’s placed you back on your feet, joy sparkling in his eyes.

“Would you…want to maybe stay the night?” you hesitantly ask.

His response is to lean down and meet your lips in a kiss.

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

—--------------------------------------------

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