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Spilling Coffee | 1

➼ summary: You’ve always prided yourself in being a naturally graceful and reliable person. So an internship at BigHit seemed like a walk in the park. That is, until a certain goof slide-kicks you off your feet and makes your life a whole lot harder.

/

Namjoon is a misunderstood klutz and y/n thinks too much.

➼ pairing: idol!namjoon x intern!reader

➼ genre: fluff, angst (if you squint), idolverse

➼ word count: 3,700

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‣

You have always been proud of your natural grace. Throughout your life, it’s granted you the title of being the responsible and reliable one. The one to do the important jobs. You were always the child the teacher would pick to fill a glass of water up for the paintbrushes during art class. You would do that with a smug grin on your face, holding a big ass jar of water with both of your tiny hands. You would hand it to the teacher, whip your pigtails as you turn around and walk back to your seat looking at your jealous classmates like hell yeah I just did that, you bitches could never.

So naturally, finding out you were about to intern in a big entertainment company, you just knew you were going to unquestionably nail it. Being responsible for mundane tasks like going on coffee runs or carrying boxes to different places? Uhh, you lived for that shit.

Obviously, these weren’t the only tasks and they were definitely not going to help you in the long run of your dream profession. But being able to put down that you received work experience from Big Hit Entertainment sure was. And there was an opportunity to get a job there after your internship! And the internship pays really well! And apparently the food in their canteen was pretty good! In conclusion, it was a win-win situation all around. And how hard could it be?

The answer to that was hard. Very fucking hard.

‣

Namjoon has always been in awe of how clumsy he actually was. Even his bandmates wonder how such an intelligent, grown man can be such a dumbass. Whenever he tried to fix something? Boom, it instantly got 10x worse. His fans even call him the God of Destruction. He would be offended by the nickname, but he can’t hate the truth. And the title is pretty badass if you think about it.

He was more of the kid in art class who was always given small jobs like making sure the aprons weren’t tangled up when it was time to put them away. Even though he wanted cooler jobs like holding those cool big ass glass jars, he understood that sometimes it’s just best to mind his own business and do his own designated jobs. You know, for world peace.

But today. Wow. It’s like the gods above are punishing him or something.

He actually woke up feeling pretty good. Today was going to be his day. Or so he thought. His clumsiness, once again, ruins it for him.

Long story short: he accidentally broke a bit of the toilet seat off. In his defence, he really needed a shit and someone left the toilet seat up again. He was definitely not going to fall into the toilet bowl this time. So Namjoon did the only thing a human could do in such a limited space of time: he slam-dunked that toilet seat down as hard as he could. Not his smartest idea. To his dismay, he spent his morning poo hovering over the toilet, with a piece of the seat held in his left hand. Let’s just say the other members were not thrilled when he walked out to the kitchen holding the piece of the smashed toilet seat from one of the most used bathrooms in the house.

After sitting through another one of Seokjin's speeches about the importance of handling things with a bit more caution, Namjoon decided it would be best to go to the company a bit earlier than the others today. Especially when the younger ones wouldn’t stop roasting the shit out of him. It was when he tripped over walking into the company building he thought to himself.

Maybe today wasn’t his day.

‣

This was the tenth day of your internship. And you don’t like to boast but you think you’re owning this shit. Sure, your boss is scary and likes giving you lots of monotonous tasks. But she’s not that bad. Besides, this is what you signed up for! And you’re having fun. Kinda.

“Intern.” You look up from your desk to see a smiling Joowon, one of your coworkers, “Lee is asking for you.”

Giving him a nod, you swiftly get up from your desk. You knock on your boss’ door and walk in when she acknowledges your presence.

“Yes, Mrs Lee?” you say, beaming brightly.

“I need you to go on a coffee run for the marketing team. We have an important meeting regarding TXT’s comeback and I do not want to see anyone slacking. If I do, I will kill someone,” she says looking up from the screen, giving you a small vacant smile. See? She’s warming up to you!

“Of course! Do you want me to buy you a knife while I’m out? Just in case?” You joke while giggling lightly.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” She asks, with no amusement in her face.

You immediately stop laughing. Fuck. Maybe she’s just a tad bit scary. You stiffen a bit and nod ashamed.

“Yeah. I don’t need any of that here” she glances at you up and down and then looks back at her computer, “you should leave now.”

You bow and basically run out of her office. Okay. Fine. She’s fucking terrifying.

You knew working in a big establishment like BigHit was going to be intimidating but not this intimidating. It didn’t help that you had a subliminal fear of attractive people. Of course, you liked looking at them but talking to them made you so nervous. Maybe you should've taken that into account before working in a fucking entertainment company. They were everywhere. At least you were working in the marketing team, where your interactions with the idols were very limited. However, you still would have the odd occurrence with one. On your second day, TXT's Soobin asked you for Mrs Lee's whereabouts. You nearly cried... But let’s not think about that.

Thankfully, your department is quite small and you only had to go get nine iced americanos. The lady at the counter also gave you two paper bags that held eight of them which made your life easier. Since you were feeling fancy and had the room, you got yourself an iced latte. Realising you were a bit short on time, you quickly dashed back to the company.

Entering the building, you check the clock on the lobby wall: fifteen minutes until the meeting starts. Cool. That's fine. You can totally get there before it starts. Totally. Deep breath. You'll be fine. After violently stabbing the elevator button multiple times, you hastily enter and press the floor you needed. Seeing no one was going to get on with you, you push the button to close the doors. Just once. Maybe a few times for good measure. Before the doors shut, you catch a glimpse of the clock again. Thirteen minutes. More than enough time.

When you reach your floor, you check inside the bags to make sure nothing has spilt. You can't help but smile. Look at you. Two coffees in each hand? Not a spill. Holding two bags of coffee? Not a single drop. You really did that. You were that bitch. I am the elite intern. You think to yourself with a chuckle. Then you stop yourself and wince. Jesus Christ. You really needed to get a life.

Remembering your task, you carefully pull out your phone from your pocket to check the time; ten minutes. Just to be safe (and to beat your previous coffee run score of having eight minutes to spare), you speed down the hallway.

You can literally see the glass walls of the meeting room. Not even half of the team is there yet. You were that early. On the opposite side of the corridor, you see your boss, who is facing away from you, and Joowon talking to each other. He glances at you and smiles. You quicken your pace, about to return the smile.

Suddenly, you're seeing him horizontally.

What the fuck? Why the fuck? Oh my God. You're too busy soaking up the mess in front of you that you don’t feel the searing pain on your left ankle. You blink hard and freeze on the floor.

The coffee is spilt. Everywhere.

Shit. You’re gonna get killed. You're gonna get fired. Before you start crying on the ground, the floor starts moving... Wait. Floors don't move. Uuugh. And floors sure as hell don't groan.

You look sideways to realise you're on top of someone's chest. That said someone looks down at you.

Your heart drops.

You jump up to stand and you instantly feel the sting on your ankle. You look at the scene in front of you. You feel like sobbing again. You just spilt your drink all over RM. Fucking Kim Namjoon. You know, the leader of the biggest fucking boy group on the planet? That's the one. You aren’t just going to be fired. You're gonna be banished from Korea. Burned at the stake. Mauled to death.

"I'm so fucking sorry." You burst out, desperately getting back down on the floor to clean up the liquid with your clothes, "I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to."

You warily look at him. He's just lying there in this weird, starfish-like position. Not really moving. Oh my God, you think to yourself. You fucking broke him. Did you kill him?

You stop helplessly scrubbing the floor with your jumper sleeve and shakily ask him, "are you alive?"

Abruptly, pulls himself up in a seated position. You flinch. Fuck. He's gorgeous. Great, now you’re nervous. He stares at you blankly and you wince a bit. You mentally prepare yourself to get screamed at and you feel a sting in your eyes. God, you're about to cry. You’re gonna lose your internship. You’re gonna have no future. You're so fucking terri-

All you hear is a deep chuckle.

"Shit. You've done it again Namjoon" he mutters to himself in disbelief, "Did I hurt you?"

He looks at you in concern and shuffles closer. Carefully, he puts a hand on your shoulder. Well, he’s never seen you before. He glances down at the ID card hanging from your neck. There’s a picture of you grinning cheerfully and your name: Y/n L/n. An intern? He also notices that you don’t have the same red lanyard as the other staff here; you switched yours to an Animal Crossing themed ribbon. Cute. He looks back up and his brows furrow when he sees a tear run down your cheek.

“U-uh. I-I’m fine.” you stutter, not really paying attention and avoiding eye contact. You feel yourself shaking.

“Are you sure? I just completely wiped you out with a sliding kick.” He jokes to try to ease the situation, offering a kind smile. Fuck, he has dimples, you think to yourself. You feel him brush his thumb over your cheek to wipe the stray tear.

“Oh my God. Namjoon-ah are you okay?” your boss asks, pushing past you to check on the man, “What is with this mess? What on earth did you do, intern?”

You stumble upwards, preparing for your death. You close your eyes in anticipation. Here it is. Your life was fun while it laste-

“It wasn’t her fault. And I’m fine. Just a bit of liquid.” You hear him say.

You open your eyes and face them. The idol makes eye contact with you and you quickly divert your eyes down. You feel your face heat up from the sudden attention.

“Namjoon-ah, it’s okay. You don’t need to cover up for her. She’s just an intern.” your boss says, impressed with his supposed kindness.

Excuse me? You look up at her disbelief. He was the one who caused you to fall. Before you’re about to defend yourself, you glance at him again and stop yourself. Oh, what the hell? Fine.

“I’m so sorry! I’ll clean this up straight away!” You shout and bow deeply, accepting the fault. It was just going to be easier this way, you’re just a disposable intern anyways.

Namjoon watches you bow deeply towards them. What? This was his fault.

“Wait, no this was my doin-” He started.

“I really expected better than this, intern.” Mrs Lee sighs in disappointment, not wanting to waste time, “Clean this mess up.”

You bow at both of them again as she walks past you, heading for the meeting room. Well that went better than expected. At least you’re still alive. You sigh weakly and started your hunt for something to help clean the mess up.

Before he could intervene again to clear things up, his phone rings.

“Hyung! Where are you? We need you now, the business call is just about to start.” Jimin shouts down the phone.

Namjoon curses himself. He takes a quick look at your back before running to where he was needed. So much for first impressions. Throughout the call, all he could focus on was the cute intern he wiped out and his coffee-stained hoodie sticking to his chest.

Yup. Today was definitely not his day.

‣

After two weeks of whatever that was, you’ve been trying really hard to redeem yourself. Just a few examples: you started colour coding the meeting notes to make it easier to read; you call the coffee shop ahead of time so your coffee runs take no longer than seven minutes; you bring running shoes to work so for any errands you need to run, you literally run. Oh, and most importantly, you steer the fuck out of Kim Namjoon’s way. This step has been proven difficult because you now see him everywhere. (Apparently, their group is heading into more product deals with different companies so your department is becoming a regular for them).

You tell yourself you aren’t trying to avoid the man because that would be stupid. But you know deep inside you’re just really fucking scared of him. Here are some reasons for your new founded fear:

1. He drop-kicked you down to the floor and you would be lying if you said it didn’t hurt like a bitch. You walked with a limp for a whole week. You’re pretty sure you could’ve sued him.

2. He’s the reason Mrs Lee now hates you with a burning passion. (Bit of an overstatement but since when did your mind not blow things out of proportion?)

3. He’s too tall. His mere size towers over you. It’s petrifying.

4. He’s so fucking attractive? Like? Who allowed him to look that good daily? And when he smiles, his dimples show? The thought of them breaks you out in cold sweat.

5. He smells too nice.

6. And oh yeah. Whenever you see each other, he tries to walk up and talk to you.

It scares the living daylights out of you.

‣

Namjoon has never experienced this before.

It’s like he’s the bloody plague. The guilt was eating him alive. For two weeks now he’s been trying to come up and talk to you. And for two weeks you have been running away from him like your life depended on it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Surely you knew it was an honest mistake and he did try to defend you against Mrs Lee. He even apologised, right? Did he apologise? Oh God, he didn’t apologise. He needs to apologise.

“Hyung!” Jungkook pushes him, “Were you even listening?”

Namjoon looks up at the youngest in confusion, “What?”

“He’s too busy thinking about his latest victim.” Jimin teases.

Jungkook laughs with him, “It’s not like she hates you or anything. If you feel so bad about it then just go talk to her and sort it out. You said she was on the marketing floor right? So just go find-”

His words get cut off by his hyung groaning and banging his head down to his table, watching the surrounding objects jump up from the force.

“You think I haven’t tried that?” He mumbles sadly into the wood, “She runs away from me.”

The two younger men look at each other.

“Hyung, you’re totally just overthinking this. She doesn’t run away from you.” Jungkook chuckles, offering a supporting hand on Namjoon’s back.

After a few hours of trying to work on some songs, Namjoon yawns loudly and stretches out his long limbs. From behind him, he hears the two yawn straight after and they all let out a small laugh.

“I think we should call it a day,” Jimin stands up, starting to pack his things, “Yoongi hyung said we were gonna have dinner tonight so we should get going.”

Moving towards the elevator, Namjoon sees you, holding a big stack of papers, from the corner. Shit. Instantly, he pulls the two members in front of him.

“Oh my God, it’s her.” He hides and whispers, even though you are out of ear reach.

Jungkook and Jimin look at the small moving figure, who is currently trying to move hair out of her face with her mouth. So that’s the girl who is clouding their leader’s mind. They watch you a few feet away from the elevator. As if they knew what the other was thinking, they exchange a mischievous look. Without warning, they forcefully drag their hyung forwards before he could process their actions.

Jesus. You whine to yourself. These papers are so fucking heavy. When you hear the ding of lift, you walk in and stretch your pinky to the ground floor button. You move to the back of the elevator, resting your back on the railing. You only have this job to do and you can finally go home. Smiling at the thought, you mindlessly look at your feet, oh and the large feet in front of you. Wait, what?

You look up in shock and meet eyes with your greatest fear. He gives you a nervous smile and you notice the two other attractive people on either side of him. Another fear of yours. (Not the biggest fear at hand but albeit still a fear). God. It’s like you were in a horror movie, where the ghosts were unfairly good looking. You feel your heart speeding. You scream inwardly when you see the idol opening his mouth.

Namjoon stutters and starts when he feels Jungkook hit his back, “Hello aga-”

He feels a gust of wind run past him.

You just sprinted out of the elevator.

As the doors close, the three turn around and watch you racing away. Gobsmacked. Before the doors fully shut, Namjoon is the only one that sees you trip, papers flying everywhere. He lets out a quiet gasp. The small room is silent.

“Well,” Jungkook quietly coughs out, “Maybe she does hate you...”

“You think she hates me?” The oldest pitifully questions and watches Jimin hit the youngest.

“No, don’t be stupid,” Jimin weakly persuades and gives an insincere smile, “She might just be nervous or something.”

Namjoon instantly frowns. She hates me.

‣

You lay face down on the floor, soaking up all the embarrassment of what just happened. Did you just fall? You? Over nothing? What in God’s name is happening to you? You look up and instantly wince. All the documents you organised, sorted and colour-coded are all messed up. There goes your early night.

Picking up the stray papers, you think to yourself: what the fuck is wrong with you? If you weren’t such a big pussy, your life would have been so much easier. You think about all of the time you would have saved if you just walked the quicker route, regardless of whether or not he was in the way. You think about all the plants you wouldn’t have hid behind to prevent his attention. You think about all the information you could’ve learned about your dream job if you didn’t reject the offers just because there was a slim chance of running into him.

At the end of the night, you have one question burning into your mind: why were you so scared of him?

‣

“You like him.” Daeun proclaims. You just told her about your most recent encounter with him.

You stare at the fellow intern in confusion, “What?”

“You have a big fat crush on him.” She repeats, taking a bite out of her lunch, “Just think about it, you said it yourself, your heart races when you see him... So you like him.”

“My heart races because I’m scared of him” You point out.

“No. You dumb bitch. Your heart races because you are nervous.”

Oh. Well, this was not what you were expecting when you asked your friend for advice. You have a crush on Namjoon?

“B-but I don’t know anything about him.” You argue, shaking your head.

“You don’t necessarily have to personally know him to crush on him,” she continues, “You find him attractive right?”

“W-well, yeah I guess so-”

“There you go. We’ve cracked it. You’re just horny for him.”

“The fuck? No, I’m not.” you push her and she laughs.

“I don’t blame you, he walks like he’s got a massive cock.”

You shriek and whack her in detest. She screams jokingly at the pain. When you two look around and notice people staring, you both can’t help but laugh hard.

At 9PM, you were laying in bed, thinking about your friend’s words and you couldn’t help but to be curious about him. Sure, you liked his music as much as the next person but you didn’t know much about Namjoon as a person. Since you just graduated from college, you didn’t have much time to spend on immersing yourself in the world of the BTS. Letting your curiosity get the better of you, you start doing research, telling yourself it’ll only take a few minutes.

After watching countless interviews and videos, you wonder how such a person could exist. He’s intelligent, loving, kind, gentle, passionate and- well you just go on for hours. You laugh a bit when you realise his only fault: he’s the biggest fucking klutz.

It hit you at 3AM when you finished watching his UNICEF speech with a big ass smile on your face.

Fuck, you totally have a crush on Namjoon.

a/n: hello! thank you for reading + i hope you’ve enjoyed. i’m also already in the process of writing the second part, if that is something you would like to see!

Spilling Coffee | 2

➼ summary: You’ve always prided yourself in being a naturally graceful and reliable person. So an internship at BigHit seemed like a walk in the park. That is, until a certain goof slide-kicks you off your feet and makes your life a whole lot harder.

Or

Namjoon is a misunderstood klutz and y/n thinks too much.

➼ pairing: idol!namjoon x intern!reader

➼ genre: fluff

➼ word count: 2,500

Previous | Next

‣

The morning sun beams on Namjoon’s face as he stares at the iced latte on the table. Its’ ice cubes slightly melting from the sun rays piercing their heat onto it. He glares intensely at it with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. The staff try and give their usual greetings as they walk past but they stop, slightly disturbed at the outlandish man. He looks crazy. Like a cartoon villain, he’s sitting with his legs crossed and fingertips touching, head deep in thought.

It’s officially been exactly a month since the fateful coffee incident and things haven’t got better, in fact things are worse.

‣ 

The elevator was getting busy after lunch. You were slightly squeezed at the back, barely able to let out a deep breath, when a new group of people walked in.

“Bro, I can’t believe you did that.” you hear a familiar voice laugh out. Isn’t that Jimin’s voice?

You look over the stranger’s shoulder to see the majority of BTS in the front. Shit. You panic slightly in the corner, scared of unwanted contact. As a last resort, you awkwardly bend your knees to diminish your height until you could no longer see them, accidentally kneeing the stranger’s legs in front of you. You feel the person in front of you jerk slightly and look down at you puzzled. You let out a sheepish smile and mouth an apology to them. Real smooth y/n.

“Leave me alone.” Namjoon says, embarrassed at the amount of people in the lift hearing their conversation.

You slightly shiver at the sound of his voice.

“We can’t. How could we?” Jungkook giggles, clutching his stomach from laughing too much, “You literally-”

“Okay we get it, we don’t need to hear it again.” Namjoon whines, stopping the youngest to finish his sentence.

“Joon, you fell and skid on actual dog shit. I think we do need to hear it again. It’s not like it was the first time.” Jin exclaims, the other members bubbling in laughter again.

The small room bursts in claps and boisterous roars from the members. Namjoon’s face instantly glows a deeper shade of read, hearing the mumbles of the people behind him. 

“So that’s what I was smelling.” You whisper mindlessly to yourself, looking up when you hear some people in the elevator laughing at your remark.

Namjoon hears it as well. He recognises that voice anywhere. He turns around and you both meet eyes. His face turns in upmost horror at the fact that you not only heard all of that but now you’re gonna associate him with the smell of dog shit. Meanwhile, your face morphs into an expression of fear. He heard that.

Before he can grab you and explain that he actually normally smells really nice, they arrive at his floor and he is dragged away by his so-called friends out of the elevator.

“I fucking hate you all.” He shouts, hitting anyone he could get his hands on the moment the doors close.

The members, who took part in the taunting, stare at him bewildered and are confused by the leader’s odd reaction. He normally just takes the teasing passively and even joins in from time to time.

“Hyung, we’re just joking.” Taehyung laughs nervously, “You’re acting weird.”

They all stare at him sighing deeply, clearly in a huff. They all look at each other questioningly, unsure of what to do. Yoongi, who noticed the reason for his sudden outburst, chuckles at his friend’s reaction.

“Y/n was in that elevator.” Yoongi simply states.

When the members hear Namjoon groan ashamed they grow quiet, realising what they had done. That is, until they all erupt in deafening howls.

“Oh my god,” Hoseok cries on the floor from too much laughter, “She probably thinks Joonie got the poo all over his trousers or something.”

If Namjoon thought he would get the members’ sympathy, he was dead wrong.

‣

He shivers at the memory. You may hate him and think he smells like dog faeces, but he’s determined to talk to you. He will track you down. He will find you. He will-

“Joon-ah.” Yoongi calls out, concerned about his friend’s stillness “the fuck is wrong with you? You’re scaring everyone”

“I’m out for blood, hyung.” He says giving a quick glance at his surroundings before staring back at the drink in front of him.

“Yah, why do you care so much? It’s been weeks, stupid.” Yoongi shakes his head, already knowing what was clouding his thoughts.

Why does he care so much? Pft. What kind of question is that? Why does he care? Oh. Why do I care? He wonders. He looks up at his hyung, who was waiting for his answer. 

When Yoongi realises the younger couldn’t answer, it was easy for him to guess the real reason. Throughout his 10 years of knowing Namjoon he has never seen him so distressed about someone. Yoongi feels like he gets whiplash whenever he steps into the building with him, getting sick of the unneeded paranoia seeping out of his bandmate. Hyung, what if we run into her? You know what, I don’t care if we do. Oh my God is that her? He feels himself loose brain cells from the mere mention of her. It’s so obvious that Namjoon has developed a slight infatuation for the girl, no matter how much he tries to deny it when the others tease him about it. All Yoongi can think is how much he wants to meet this intern that leeches on the leader’s mind.

The older one chuckles and says walking away, “you’re lucky you’re famous, this would’ve been a restraining order against you if you were any less good looking.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

He decides not to fret about it. Abruptly standing up from the chair, it flips over. Realising people around him are staring, his cheeks flush. The man messily puts it back up and strides away with the beverage in hand like a man on a mission.

Striding in the direction of your floor, he breathes out to himself with a playful smirk, “Your little legs can’t run away from me any longer, y/n.”

‣

You’ve been trying okay?

After the realisation of your feelings, you decided you should try and stop your habit of running away. Giving it some thought, you realised that trying to avoid him meant that you saw him less. And that made you :( You also realised that when you see him around, he doesn’t seem like he will go up and try to speak to you anymore, which also makes you :( He has probably given up. Makes sense. It has been a month and you did make a mean comment about him smelling weird, when it wasn’t even his fault.

But maybe it’s for the best. It isn’t like your crush is going to go somewhere. This is Namjoon. Kim Namjoon. Literally millions of guys and girls would kill to just breathe the same air as him, never mind have him fall for them. You should be happy with the fact you can see him most days. Even though you do run from the mere sight of him. But, anyways!

It was a new week and the perfect time to enforce your new goals. You were feeling pretty good, humming as you sit down at your desk, ready for a days work ahead.

“Intern.” you look up from your desk and see your boss. Immediately, you stand up and bow.

“Good morning.” You greet politely.

“Thank you, you can sit down. I’ve been noticing that these days you are really stepping up your game so I just wanted to praise you.” She says stoically and you’re in shock. Is she okay? “And,  want you to help on one of the upcoming projects.”

“M-me?” You stutter out in disbelief.

“Yes, you. Don’t make me repeat myself, Intern. Joowon will keep you updated for the project.” She scolds and starts to head for the door but she stops midway and looks at you once more, “Keep up the good work.”

Trying hard to sustain your smile, you get back to previewing the reports in front of you. Did Mrs Lee of all people really just praise you? You? Guess the colour coding won her over, you think to yourself.

When Daeun texts you to come down and meet her for lunch, you get up from your desk and make your way to the canteen with an evident spring in your step.

Down the corridor you see a familiar figure walking towards your direction, you halt your steps automatically. Oh shit, here we go again. You think to yourself, giggling for a millisecond at your joke. Okay, straight face. You can do this y/n! 

Breathing in a deep breath, you start walking forwards. 

A step.

Taking a quick glance at him, you curse yourself: who gave him the right to look that good? He’s dressed in some brown overalls and a jumper. All you can think about is how adorable he looks but also how he manages to look hot at the same time. Like, damn is that even possible- Fuck, focus on the task at hand you dumb bitch.

A step.

You meekly look at him again and you meet eyes. But he looks so pretty. Your heart starts racing again. Slightly daunted from the attention, you look down at your feet with a bashful smile on your face. He looks at you in shock.

A step.

What the fuck? Okay. This wasn’t part of the plan. Namjoon’s brain shouts. He thinks his eyes are deceiving him or something. You’re voluntarily walking towards him? Him? The dog poo man? Cool. Cool. That’s cool. Deep breath. 

A step.

You know what? This is good! This actually makes his plan easier. He encourages in his head. When you’re in front of him he will just casually hand you the drink and say sorry or say hi or whatever. It’ll be fine. He assures himself, his grip on the iced drink tightening slightly in anticipation. 

Just a few more steps...

One more step.

Your shoulders slightly brush as you walk past each other and you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief because Hell yeah you just did that. Thank God. Now you can get on with your day in peace.

Another step.

Fucking abort the mission. He panics, scared he’s lost his chance. No, do it, you pussy. Bitch, I’m scared. His mind races. Is he just gonna let you go? This might not ever happen again. Namjoon decides fuck it. He inhales deeply. Let’s just improvise.

Before turning around, he musters up a deep suave voice, “Hey.”

Stopping in your tracks, you turn around and look at his back, stunned. Uh, this wasn’t in the plan.

It’s as if the next few seconds move in slow motion.

Namjoon thought, at the last second, it would be impressive to do those cool things where you see him turn around slowly, like those scenes in the movies. So he does just that.

As he turns around, you hear him start, “This is for y-” He stops himself when he stumbles. Everything goes still.

Oh my fucking God. You scream to yourself.

Oh my fucking God. Namjoon screams in his head.

It wasn’t until you fully feel the cold liquid seep through your blouse that you both think at the same time. What the fuck!?

“Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuckedy Fuck. I’m so sorry.” He freaks out, moving towards you, attempting the dry the mess off of you, “I didn’t mean it, I was just supposed to just give it to you. I’m an idiot, I’m sorry.”

You freeze, trying to process what was happening. You look down at Namjoon, who was slightly bent over and using sweater paws of his jumper to pat you dry. Your heart quickening its’ pace at the sudden intimacy.

Amidst the chaos, Namjoon looks up at your shell-shocked face and you both make eye contact again. He notices how soft your hair looks. He notices how pretty your lips are. The idol slows down his actions until it comes to an halt. Too busy bathing in your stunning eyes to continue.

His heart starts pounding faster.

Slowly, you look further down, your face getting pale at the feeling. He follows your movement, his face suddenly turning red when he realises:

He’s groping your boobs.

As if he touched fire, he swats his hands away, “I’m so sorry. I’m not a pervert, I swear!” He shouts moving his face sideways to expect a slap, “I was just trying to dry you. I’m sorry! You can hit me if you want, I deserve it.” 

He stops talking when he hears it. You’re laughing. He meets your eyes again, noticing how your face fills up with amusement. He takes a mental note of how gorgeous you are when you laugh. Your smile is contagious.

“Well, I guess we’re now even, Kim Namjoon.” You announce, he freezes, liking the way his name comes off his lips.

You review his astonished face with a look of fondness in your eyes, thinking he’s just baffled. Taking advantage of his frozen state, “If you excuse me, I’m gonna go clean myself up.”

You leave him in the middle of the corridor, an image of you smiling engraved in his brain and coffee splattered on the floor. He lets out a gigantic smile. 

Well that went better than expected.

‣

taglist: @alinerl​ @kim-jias-den​ @657mg​ @jinjccns​

a/n: hi again! thank you for reading, i hope you liked it!

Spilling Coffee | 3

➼ summary: You’ve always prided yourself in being a naturally graceful and reliable person. So an internship at BigHit seemed like a walk in the park. That is, until a certain goof slide-kicks you off your feet and makes your life a whole lot harder.

Or 

Namjoon is a misunderstood klutz and y/n thinks too much.

➼ pairing: idol!namjoon x reader

➼ genre: fluff, angst (i’m sorry!!!), idolverse

➼ word count: 2,900

previous | 

‣

You know, Namjoon is certain that he isn’t as clumsy as people make him out a bit. Is he prone to falling over every once in a while? Sure, who wasn’t? But he was sure that he’s not the stumbling fool that people make him out to be.

That was, until he met you.

After coffee incident #2, you started becoming less nervous and more acquainted with him. (Your little crush on the idol has also grown exponentially, but let’s just forget that.) At last, the days of you running away from him were in the past.

It was a few months into your internship that you noticed the changes. Panicked glances evolved into acknowledging smiles in the hallways. Running away from attempts at greetings turned into comfortable small talks in the elevator. Your fear of a certain man jumped into a fondness for a man you could call an acquaintance.

But one thing never changed: Namjoon was still a clumsy piece of shit.

You giggle silently in the meeting room when you make sudden eye contact with Namjoon, who was trying to hide the newly broken water glass, across the room. He shakes his head and starts quietly laughing, exchanging knowing glances with you every so often.

“Okay,” Your boss starts, “Here are the statistics of last year’s sales growth. As you can see...”

The project Mrs Lee was talking about to you was the plannings of the merchandise for BTS’ world tour in the upcoming month, hence the group’s presence in the meeting. Your dedication to your work scored you the temporary role of your boss’ assistant for the duration of the project. You would be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying every single minute of it. Of course, you still had to go on coffee runs and so on but you just knew, Mrs Lee was finally warming up to you.

“I don’t know what to do with this.” Namjoon groans, holding the broken glass in his hand. The meeting was finally over.

“Put it in the bin, you dummy.” You point out, chuckling at his antics.

You don’t notice him smiling at the sound of your laughter. There’s a moment when you are waiting for the elevator doors to open that’s silent. He glances down at you humming a familiar tune and his heart warms at the sight.

“How has your day been?” He starts, making his way into your usual small talk.

“Better now that I’ve seen you break that glass.” You point towards his hands, giving him a mischievous nudge.

“I don’t even mean to do these things you know.” He pouts, “I don’t know why it’s always me.”

You both walk into the square room, shoulders brushing against each other. You smell his scent, loving the way it fills up all of your senses. You unconsciously grin. The pair of you continue your small talk.

These little moments always make your week. You liked learning small trivial bits about him no one else knew. You liked hearing him talking about his day, listening to the passion in his voice when he talks about his fans. Every time you feel yourself falling harder after every word exchanged. You crave more.

Before the conversation can get any deeper, you reach the floor he is needed on. A place where you don’t belong.

“That’s me.” He simply says, turning to give you a little grin.

You hum in response, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice. That’s all these moments are: little. Insignificant.

“I’ll see you around okay?” He states, walking backwards without any caution.

Before the doors fully close, you catch him tumbling down on his ass. The ends of your mouth turn upwards and you roll your eyes. He’s so stupid.

Namjoon gets up once he can no longer see you. Turning around with a small spring in his step and a smile permanently plastered on. Maybe walking backwards isn’t the best idea, but Namjoon begs to differ if he can catch just another glimpse of your face.

‣

Namjoon feels his life rush by, not even realising a week has already passed because he’s been mostly locked up inside his studio. He just cannot finish this song. It’s been driving him nuts. There’s just one part that’s missing and he’s been pulling his hair to figure out what it was. Deciding it was best to go get fresh air, he leaves his studio.

On his way out, his heartbeat accelerates when he notices you walking nearby, holding a brown envelope. Without thinking about it, he starts dashing towards you with a smile. Your eyes move towards the sudden motion and they brighten up at the sight of him.

“Hi.” He breathlessly greets.

“Hi.” You reply, mirroring his big grin. God, you’re so cute.

“Uh, you off somewhere?” Namjoon asks.

“I was actually looking for you.”

“M-me?” He stutters, “why?”

He watches your arm move forward to give the envelope to him. He grabs it and looks up at you in confusion.

“Mrs Lee told me to give it to you. I don’t know what it is.” You explain, a pause, “well, I’ll get going now.”

Quickly, you stop moving when you feel his warm hand wrapped around your wrist. You look down, admiring how big his hands were compared to yours.

“No!” He exclaims, “I mean, um, do you want to see my studio? It’ll only take a minute, if you’re not busy?”

“Sure.” You agree thinking he just being nice, you were done for the day anyways.

You look around his studio, smiling at the warm and cozy feeling it radiated. The boy gestures for you to sit down on the couch while he moved to sit on his office chair. Sitting down in his studio, he suddenly felt self-conscious. You guys have never sat down and talked before. Your conversations always occurred when you both were walking places and they normally were cut off short. Now you were both alone in a room. His palms started sweating at the thought.

“I haven’t been seeing you around much.” You point out, trying to fill the silence in the room.

He frowns at the realisation. The man hasn’t seen you all week. He’s missed you.

“Yeah. I’ve been in here working. Guess I got too into it.” He admits, looking down at his lap.

You nod in understanding. It goes quiet again. Glancing up at his face you can tell that he hasn’t been getting rest and you frown at the thought. For the past few months BTS was supposed to be having a small break but you guess that they still must’ve been working hard. Even more so with the tour coming up. You look at the time. It’s just turned six. He should go home, you think. Before you get up and leave, hoping that gives him the opportunity to get sleep, he opens his mouth.

“How was your day?” He asks, an expression you can’t read on his face.

Great. Small talk. Again.

“It was alright.” You smile politely, “And yours?”

“It’s been fine.” He says, not knowing why the conversation was dying all of a sudden. It normally flows automatically.

Feeling awkward, you take in his appearance: he’s dressed comfortably in an expensive hoodie and loose pants. Because of his importance, he doesn’t really have a dress code and he can wear what he wants. You would be killed if you came into work so casual like that. You compare his attire to yours. Dressed in the uncomfortable second-hand dress you had to sew so it could fit, you think to yourself. You don’t belong here.

“So...” He begins, “are you hungry? I can order some food here.”

Your face turns in confusion at the randomness of his suggestion.

“Do you not wanna go home or something? Or are you not still working?” You query, looking at his computer with his song on.

Namjoon follows your eyes and turns back to see his computer. He sighs, “Nah I’m having a bit of a block right now and frankly, I’m starving.”

“As long as I’m not intruding, then sure.” You comply, secretly wanting more time with him.

“Great,” he reaches for his phone, “We should get some pizza, I know a really nice place that makes the best Hawaiian pizza.”

“You’re disgusting.” You unconsciously remark. Your eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

The man turns back puzzled, “Excuse me?”

He gazes at your face bursting out in laughter and he can’t help but to join in, realising the reason for you unexpected insult. He stands up from his chair, moving to tower over your sitting figure in attempt to intimidate.

“Does my pizza preferences not please you, Miss L/n?” He jokes, drowning in the sound of your giggles.

When he sits down next to you, you push him with in feigned repulsion. “Of course you would like pineapple on pizza.” You tease. 

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” He fakes his hurt, “Trust me, the pineapple pizza from this place will be the best pizza you’ll ever try.”

“Alright, bet.” You challenge.

After eating (turns out you still didn’t like the combo, as expected), the two of you fell back into a comfortable conversation, discussing anything and everything that came into mind from your favourite type of ice cream to his past lovers. Inwardly, he feels shock when you tell him that you never had dated seriously before. Regardless, he was utterly charmed by you, hanging on every single word that came out of your mouth. He likes the fact that you had similar values as him and he could only gape in awe when you passionately talk about the different political and social views that he was also enthusiastic about. But he additionally adores how you both had different tastes in certain aspects and he valued the fact that he could learn new things about life from you. He smiles to himself. It’s as if you are each other’s counterpart: your personalities blending almost perfectly together. He realises that this was the first ever in-depth conversation between the two of you and he could only hope it wasn’t the last. He wanted more.

You both don’t even notice the time flying by, even when the digital clock strikes midnight. 

“Do you believe love can be formulated?” Namjoon queries, his head resting on the palm of his hand.

“Formulated?” you affirm, he nods his head.

“Like you can force it.” He explains, silently loving the way your face looks when you look curious, “I came across this thing where it was like, 36 questions to fall in love.”

“Oh, I’ve seen that.” you comment, “Do you think it works?”

“I’m not sure. Do you?”

“I feel like it could. The questions are supposed to make you vulnerable to the other person,” You justify, “And isn’t that what love is about? Being vulnerable and trusting to a person?”

His eyes soften at the sight of you and he couldn’t help but to request, “Should we try a question?”

You feel your heart going off again. Trying your hardest to not overthink his question, you attempt to casually say, “Okay.”

Namjoon gets his phone out and searches for the list of questions. After a minute, he decides on asking the very last question, thinking it was the most interesting to discuss.

“Right, remember we have to be 100% honest.” He continues when you nod your head, “ We have to share a personal problem and ask the other’s advice on how they would handle it. We also have to ask each other how you think the other is feeling about the problem.”

“You just had to choose the longest one didn’t you?” You tease lightheartedly, chuckling along with him before going quiet to start thinking of what to say.

“Should I go first?” He asks, the atmosphere turning serious.

“If you want.” You stare at him, giving him your undivided attention.

“Right, so um, you might think it’s really stupid or something.” He insecurely says, regretting his suggestion.

Quickly you dismiss his worries and you hold his unoccupied hand without thinking. When he looks up he meets your eyes.

“We have to be vulnerable, remember?” You kindly encourage.

“Okay.” He pauses, glancing at you before starting.

“Sometimes, I feel like I don’t deserve all of this.” He gestures around him, “All of this recognition, all of the people around me, all of the money. People looking up to me. Being people’s role models. Sometimes it feels as if I’m not right for that role. And I know, it’s so stupid because I worked so damn hard to be where I am now and I’ve went through so much shit, I know that. But I just can’t help but to doubt myself, you know? Last year it was all I could think about. It’s gotten better now but once in a while it crosses my mind. Like, am I actually deserving of all of this love?”

The distress on his face causes your heart to twist. He sits there defenceless, all his walls broken down. He’s so painfully beautiful. Stillness lingers the room. 

Namjoon silently winces at the silence, he looks up at your face, about to dissolve his speech.

“You deserve to be loved.” You wholeheartedly whisper.

You grab his slightly shaky hands and earnestly gaze into his eyes. His heart starts pounding against his rib cage. Suddenly, all he can think about is what it would feel like to feel your love.

“You deserve to be loved.” You repeat, “Everything you have right now, no one else deserves it more than you. I know I can’t fully understand how you feel but I know that your work makes people feel things and for that, you have the right to be loved. As for my advice, I would say to think about any moments, no matter how small, from when you do feel deserving and don’t be shy to ask for some validation once in a while. But I’m just glad you don’t feel this way as much now.”

Before you process it, his arms wrap tightly around your shoulders, “Thank you, y/n.”

“It’s no problem. And, I don’t know if it’ll make you feel better, but when we talk you never fail to make me smile. So if you’re ever doubting yourself, at least you know that you make a positive impact on someone.” you say into his chest, smiling fondly.

Slowly moving away from you, he looks down at your face inches away from his- the glow from his computer screen illuminating your features. You’re absolutely breathtaking. Slightly intimidated by his intense gaze and embarrassed by your confession, you move away swiftly. 

“My turn.” you point out, cheeks slightly flushed from the intimacy, “It’s kinda funny. I feel like it’s the opposite of yours.”

You laugh a bit and the man beside you gives you a questioning look. The raw air in the room encourages you to open up.

“I’m scared that I’ll never be loved.” you meekly say, “I know I’m only in my early 20s but the thought of ending up alone terrifies me. A-and it sucks because I feel like I have so much love to give but no one to give it to. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic so I’ve always dreamt of being in love. I think I’m tired of being alone. I just want someone’s love. So, what’s your advice for that?” You joke, trying to lighten the mood.

Without warning, you feel his hand on the back of your neck, which ushers you forward until your lips touch. Your eyes close at the soft feeling of his full lips that were starting to move feverishly against yours. When you wrap your arms around his neck, he lets out a content hum, letting his arms fall around your waist. He kisses you deeper after you grant his tongue access past your lips and you feel your whole body on fire from the contact.

It was when you felt your lungs begging for oxygen that you broke the kiss with your eyes still shut- trying to savour the moment. Opening your eyes, you look up at the man in front of you. He has a glimmer in his eyes and a smile breaks out onto his face.

“Take mine.” He responds to your question. You feel his breath on your nose, “Take my love.”

A strange feeling builds up in your chest. You imagine going on dates with him outside, the sun glistening on his tan skin. You imagine countless late night conversations like this one. You imagine how much your parents would adore him when he comes to visit. You imagine endlessly kissing him. The feeling bursts throughout your body.

You’re starting to fall in love with him.

Then your mind does the thing it does best: overthink. Alarmed at the sudden panic in your face, Namjoon starts to reach out to you and, for the first time in a while, you run away. 

And all he can do is helplessly watch you leave.

‣ 

a/n hello! it’s been a while. thank you for reading, i rlly hope you’ve enjoyed!

taglist: @alinerl @kim-jias-den @657mg @jinjccns @loonyginger​

you flinch during an argument

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

WC: 1.3k

<series masterlist>

You sigh as you stare at the clock hanging on the wall from your seat at the dining table. Namjoon promised he would be home by 9:00 for dinner, but it was nearly midnight and he still wasn’t home.

As disappointed as you were at another empty promise, you couldn’t say you were surprised. Last week was even worse, with five missed dates and you were just about done with Namjoon.

You understood that he was a busy man, but if he knew he couldn’t fit you in his schedule, he shouldn’t get your hopes up by planning dates with you and then not showing up.

You already missed him so much, and the feeling of getting stood up five times a week was not a good feeling. You didn’t want to doubt him after he treated you with so much love and care, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious. 

Were you boring? Did he not enjoy your company anymore?

Lost in your own thoughts, you start packing up the food on your plate and putting it in the fridge, having suddenly lost your appetite. As you close the fridge, you hear keys dangling outside the front door.

You walk over to the door and unlock it before he can, and you open it with an unimpressed look on your face.

Looking up at you with a guilty smile, he gives you a small wave as he scratches the back of his head.

“Oh hey Y/n. I didn’t know you were still up.”

You roll your eyes at him as you silently walk back into the kitchen.

Sighing at your behaviour, he follows you into the house. “Look, I’m sorry y/n. We’ve just been so busy lately, I don’t have time to do anything else right now.”

Tired of hearing the same thing every time, you simply shrug off his apology. “Are you going to eat or should I put that away?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest as you gesture towards the plate you filled for him.

You honestly didn’t know why you were giving him so much attitude. You knew how busy he was and you knew he was truly sorry, but it still hurt. You felt neglected, but instead of talking to him about how you truly felt, you hid it behind annoyance and anger.

“You’re being immature,” he says with a clenched jaw.

Normally, he was a really patient guy. But he’s been working so hard for the past couple of weeks with no breaks so his patience was running thin.

He felt so guilty for missing dinner yet again, but it really wasn’t his fault. Why couldn’t you understand that?

“Yeah, whatever. At least I keep my word,” you spit back.

Your words are like an arrow to his heart. He missed you just as much as you missed him and he already felt terrible about missing dinner, but you were just rubbing it in and making him feel worse.

“Listen y/n, you know if I had the time I would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with you, but I can’t!” he tries to reason with you.

You didn’t mean to make him feel worse about all the missed dates, you knew he already felt guilty, but your stubbornness and pride didn’t allow you to tell him how much you missed him.

“Yeah, sure you would. That’s why you’ve missed the past seven dinners,” you say sarcastically. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to eat dinner with myself either, but don’t make plans with me if you know you won’t make it.”

Although you were trying to hide it behind anger, he could see just how much his actions hurt you. Hearing you put yourself down because you thought he didn’t want to spend time with you really upset him, but the stress from that past couple of weeks stopped him from thinking clearly.

“Oh, so I’m the bad guy because I’m trying to spend time with my girlfriend? If I didn’t try to make plans with you then we’d never see each other!” he yells as his anger starts boiling over.

“We don’t see each other anyway!” you yell back.

“You think I don’t know that?!” his voice booms as he slams his fist on the table.

You flinch as you tightly shut your eyes. You loved Namjoon and you knew he would never do anything to hurt you, but his aura was already commanding and powerful. When he raised his voice, you couldn’t help but feel afraid.

Seeing you flinch hit Namjoon like a bucket of ice water. His heart sunk to his stomach at the thought of you being afraid of him and he instantly felt guilty for raising his voice at you.

Normally, you two could always calmly sort things out, but the stress from the past couple of weeks got the best of both of you.

His anger immediately fades as he gently calls out, “Y/n? I’m sorry, please look at me.” He wanted to reach out for you but he hesitated, not wanting to scare you.

You slowly open your eyes and your gaze softens as you stare at him.

You find nothing but guilt in his eyes, and you feel terrible because you know none of this is really his fault, but he would blame himself anyway because that was just how he was.

You rush into his arms and bury your face in his chest. He lets out a breath of relief as you hug him and he slowly wraps his arms around you.

“I’m sorry y/n,” he whispers into your hair.

You shake your head as you rub his back comfortingly. “Don’t apologize,” you say as you look up at him. “It’s not your fault and I’m sorry I made you feel like it was. I just really missed you but my stubborn ass wouldn’t admit it,” you say, letting out a laugh.

A big grin forms on his face as he stares back at you. “It’s okay. You have a right to be mad at me after all the dates I’ve missed,” he says. “The past few weeks have been tough for the both of us.”

You just nod in agreement as you lean your head back on his chest, wishing you could stay in his arms forever.

“I’ll tell Bang-PD that I’m taking this weekend off. I really need to take a break,” he says.

“Yeah, you do. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you lose your temper before,” you admit.

He places a light kiss on the top of your head before mumbling, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

You clutch the material of his shirt in your hands as you just hug him tighter. “It’s okay. You’re not called the God of Destruction for nothing you know,” you add with a laugh.

He laughs along with you as he places his hand under your chin to tilt your face up.

Staring into your eyes, he says,

“No matter how angry I am, I could never hurt you. You know that right?”

You smile up at him as you giggle, “I know. You may look tough but I know you’re really just a big softie.”

He chuckles before he adds, “And you also know that I enjoy your company the most, right? There’s no one I’d rather spend my life with than you, so don’t say stuff like that about yourself, okay?”

You nod at him as he flashes you his adorable dimple smile.

He tightens his arms around your waist, and you lay your head back on his chest. A content smile forms on your face as you listen to his heartbeat, safe in Namjoon’s arms.

there are no mistakes

Summary: you generously give your BTS concert ticket to a stranger believing that it was the right thing to do. But as you sit through their fan-sign while trying to hold back your tears, you can’t help but think that it was a mistake.

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: fluff + angst

WC: 11k

part 2

Waking up in your hotel room, you yawn as you sit up in your bed. Although your curtains were closed, the sunlight still managed to filter through the material, tinting the whole room a warm golden tone.

You try to rub the sleep out of your eyes, and a smile forms on your face when you remember what day it is. You arrived in Seoul a couple of days ago to attend your first BTS concert, and today was the day of the concert. You had been of fan of theirs for quite some time, and you couldn’t wait to finally see them in person rather than through a screen. 

It was also your first time visiting Korea, so you were eager to meet new people and learn about the culture. You arrived a couple of days before the concert to ensure you would have enough time to explore, and you spent your days venturing around the city, trying various street foods and buying too many clothes.

It was finally the day of the concert, and you couldn’t have been happier. Not wanting to waste any more time rolling around in your blankets, you stand from the bed, stretching your limbs out. You walk over to the window and pull the curtains open, letting the sunshine flood into your room as you take in the breathtaking view that your hotel room offered. You had a view of the bustling streets of Seoul, as well as the stadium that BTS would be performing at in just a few hours. 

Although you’ve only been here for two days, you’ve already fallen for the city’s charms. You take a quick picture of the view with your phone before plugging it in to make sure it’s fully charged for the concert. Heading into the bathroom, you wash up and brush your teeth before eating breakfast. You spend most of the day relaxing around your hotel room, checking the clock on your nightstand frequently. You would probably regret wasting half the day doing nothing in your hotel room, but you couldn’t focus on doing anything else. 

When there are about 3 hours left before the concert, you finally start getting ready. Walking over to your suitcase, you pull out the outfit you had planned for today. You knew you were just one of many in the crowd and it wasn’t necessary to dress up, but you wanted to enjoy today to the fullest.

Once you were dressed, you look at yourself in the mirror, nitpicking for any imperfections. You had been waiting for this day for so long and you wanted everything to be perfect. Checking your bag to make sure you had everything you needed, you peak at the mirror one last time before walking out the door, locking it behind you.

The stadium wasn’t very far from your hotel, so you decided to walk. It was a beautiful night, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight so you could see all of the stars clearly. Nearing the venue, you pick up your pace as the stadium comes into view, eager to get inside. As you enter the building, the entrance is filled with ARMYs talking excitedly amongst themselves. Although BTS was popular, you had never been surrounded by this many people who shared the same love for the boys as you did.

Once you joined the line, you take a moment to scan the room, wanting to engrave this memory into your mind forever. As you look around at all the fans, you spot one ARMY that sticks out like a sore thumb. She has a distraught look on her face as she frantically looks around as if she was searching for something. 

Brows furrowing in concern, you step out of the line and approach her. “Are you okay?” you ask her in English with a friendly smile. She looks up at you, eyes watery as she holds back tears and shakes her head no.

“What’s wrong?” you ask gently as you try to help calm her down. She takes a couple of deep breathes before explaining. “I-I lost my ticket,” she says, sniffling, causing you to frown. You know BTS has touched many people’s hearts, and she must’ve really been looking forward to the concert just like you were. You would be absolutely heartbroken if something like this happened to you, and your heart ached as you sympathized with her.

You take her hand in yours before pulling her along with you. “Come with me,” you tell her with a reassuring smile. Even though she didn’t know you, nor what you were planning to do, she still felt comforted by your smile and she felt like she could trust you.

You take her to join the back of the line with you. In an attempt to calm her worries, you try to make conversation with her. It wasn’t easy to communicate because of the language barrier, but you managed. “I’m y/n,” you introduce yourself with a smile. She returns the smile as she says, “I’m Aeri.” You nod as you lead the conversation, “Is this your first concert?” you ask curiously. She shakes her head as she holds up two fingers, “Second time, a few years ago,” she explains. You nod in understanding as you make small talk with her to pass time.

The line continues to move forward and before you know it, you make it to the front of the line. You assure Aeri that you will handle everything as she stands back and waits for you. You politely greet the staff before they ask for your ticket and pass. “Actually, is it possible for me to give my ticket to someone else?” you ask. The staff’s eyebrows knit together, tilting their head in confusion. You scratch the back of your head as you try to think of how to explain it to the staff.

As you try to communicate your question to the staff, everyone suddenly starts screaming excitedly. You turn your head to see the members of BTS walking behind all the staff, probably heading backstage. As they smile and wave at their fans, the staff you were speaking to catches RM’s eye and calls him over.

You start to panic when you see RM walk over, suddenly staring at your shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the world. RM and the staff have a quick conversation before RM turns to you. In English, he asks you, “How can I help you?” You look up at him, frozen as you stare into his dragon eyes. Snapping out of his trance, you stutter, “O-oh um, is there a chance I can give my ticket and pass to her?” you ask as you point to Aeri. RM raises an eyebrow at you but relays the message to the staff anyway. The staff nods at you and motions towards Aeri to come forward.

Aeri follows the staff with a confused look on her face, but you just give her a reassuring smile. The staff takes her to a room in the back to transfer the pass to her, leaving you alone with RM.

Trying to act normal, you clear your throat, bowing as you say, “Thank you for your help.” When you stand back up, he just gives you a kind smile, “No problem,” he says. ”Your English is very good, I take it you’re not from here?” he asks you. You shake your head, “No, I’m from America. This is my first time visiting Korea, actually. I came here just to see your concert,” you tell him with a bright smile. He raises his eyebrows in surprise, “Really? And you’re okay with giving your ticket away?”

You shrug as you look at the door that leads to the room Aeri was in. “It’s okay. I’m sure Aeri wants to see you guys just as much as I do. And I like to believe that there are no mistakes and everything happens for a reason. So I just felt like, out of everyone here, I spotted Aeri for a reason,” you look back at him to find him staring at you in amazement. Flustered, you move your gaze down to the floor as you continue, “As much as I would love to watch you guys perform, I know I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the concert if I did nothing to help her,” you tell him as Aeri and the staff come out of the room, a pass hanging around her neck.

“That’s a beautiful way of thinking,” he tells you, genuinely inspired by you. You simply smile back as you rub the back of your neck, unsure what to say. Aeri quickly approaches you two, excitedly greeting RM before turning to you and taking your hands in hers. “Are you sure?” she asks you, and you can tell she feels guilty for taking your place. You smile at her as you nod your head surely, and she pulls you into a tight hug.

You pat her back as you return the hug, trying to reassure her. “Don’t worry!” you tell her as you pull away, “Just enjoy it. For you and for me.” She thanks you about a hundred times, quickly exchanging numbers with you before saying goodbye to you and RM. You felt like a proud mom sending her child off to their first day of school. A small part of you wishes that you could watch BTS perform alongside Aeri, since you weren’t sure when you would be able to visit Korea again, but you tell yourself that it was worth giving your ticket to Aeri.

As you watch her walk through the doors, another staff appears behind RM, calling him to head to the stage. He asks the staff to go get something for him, and the staff quickly rushes off to go get it. You simply watch curiously as the staff disappears into the back room, only to come out a minute later with another sort of pass in their hands. They hand it to RM, leaning in to tell him something before hurrying backstage.

He turns to you with a shy smile. “Please take this,” he says as he holds it out for you. You take it from his hands, confused as you look at it with a raised eyebrow. “It’s a pass for our fan sign on Friday,” he explains “I’d really love to see you there again.”

You smile as you turn it over in your hands, scanning over the characters on it. You hold it close to your chest as you nod happily. “I’ll be there!” you assure him. He smiles his dimple smile as the staff once again call for him. “I have to go but thank you for coming. I’ll see you on Friday!”

You nod and wave as he walks backstage, and you stare at his back until you can no longer see him. Once he’s out of your sight, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. You had been preparing yourself to finally see them perform in person, but nothing on Earth could have prepared you to see one of them up close, let alone talk to them.

The concert was supposed to start soon, so the entrance of the stadium was practically empty by now. Feeling out of place, you put the pass in your pocket before making your way towards the exit. Pushing the door open, you take one more glance back inside. A part of you didn’t want to leave since you had been looking forward to this concert for so long, but you had no choice. Turning back around, you leave with a heavy heart, deciding it was in your best interest to move forward without looking back.

When RM arrives backstage, all the boys give him questioning glances. “Where were you?” J-Hope asks as he goes over the choreography with Jin. “And why do you look so happy?” asks Jin. RM didn’t even realize he was smiling until they pointed it out. “There was an English-speaking ARMY and the staff needed my help to translate,” he explains himself. “And that’s what’s got you smiling like an idiot?” Suga asks with a raised eyebrow. RM shrugs as he gets ready. “She was nice,” he says nonchalantly. “And?”

“And I may or may not have asked her to come to the fan sign on Friday,” he admits with a sheepish smile. All the members’ eyes widen before the room bursts into chaos. “Ohhhhh!” Suga yells while putting his hand over his mouth. “Hyung has a crush!” V says loudly. Jin and J-Hope start laughing with each other while Jungkook was zoned out in his own world. RM lets out a sigh, watching everyone go crazy. “So Hyung,” Jimin starts with a grin on his face, “What’s her name?” RM’s eyes widen when he realizes he didn’t even know your name.

“What does she look like?”

“Where is she from?”

“Who’s her bias?”

“Can she sing?”

“Can she dance?”

“Can she cook? If she can’t cook you guys are screwed.”

They all start bombarding RM with questions about you, curious about the girl that caught their leader’s eye. “Enough!” he says, “I’ll answer your questions later. We have a concert to perform.” Everyone reluctantly agrees and heads towards the stage. He sighs in relief as he seems to have escaped their interrogation. “We’ll get it out of you later!” Jimin yells over his shoulder.

Unlocking the door to your hotel room, you drop your bag onto the floor, flopping face first onto your bed. Today’s events have yet to set in for you. You met RM of BTS. You spoke to Kim fricking Namjoon. You immediately start replaying your conversation with him in your head, overthinking everything you did in front of him. You were so nervous, but you didn’t want to make things awkward so you tried your best to act normal.

Looking out your window, you can see all the lights coming from the stadium. Your heart felt heavy as you clutched your pillow tightly, curling up into a small ball on your bed. You didn’t regret giving your ticket to Aeri, you were just a little saddened that you couldn’t attend their concert since you had been wanting to go for so long. You were only human, and no matter how hard you tried, it wasn’t always easy to do the right thing. You had to make a conscious effort to do things such as these, but that’s what made them more rewarding at the end of the day.

Finally deciding to stop pitying yourself, you get up to actually get ready for bed. As you change into your pajamas, the pass in the pocket of your clothes from earlier falls out. Remembering the fan sign, you pick up the pass and place it on your nightstand as you climb into bed. Pulling out your phone, you search and note down the time and place of the fan sign on Friday. As you search for the fan sign, you also find many videos of their previous fan signs. You’ve already seen some of them, and as an international ARMY, you’ve always wanted to attend one.

Yes, you would give your right arm to attend their concert, but fan signs seemed so much more personal. Staring at the pass on your nightstand, your heart feels a little lighter with a newfound resolve for the fan sign. You place your phone next to the pass as you turn off the lamp, tucking yourself into bed. It was a shame that you missed the concert, but you were going to use the rest of the time you had to prepare for and make the most of the fan sign.

The members didn’t forget about you, and they asked RM about you once again while they enjoyed a well deserved meal after their concert. “So, tell us more about the ARMY you met earlier, what was her name again?” Jimin asks with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t know,” RM coughs out. J-Hope starts choking on his food, and Jungkook pats his back, trying to free his airways. “You don’t even know her name?!” Jin asks incredulously. “I didn’t have time! The concert was about to start!” RM says defensively. 

“How do you like her if you don’t even know her name?” Suga scoffs. “Well she’s really kind, and she has a very beautiful way of thinking and going about,” RM explains, “She’s very positive and optimistic, and she finds the good in the bad.” Jimin’s eyes widen in disbelief, “You know all that about her but not her name?!” RM shrugs. “You’re unbelievable,” Jin says, facepalming.

The next day, you get dressed for a day of shopping. Since you didn’t plan on attending a fan sign when you were packing, you didn’t bring anything with you that could be signed. It was Thursday and the fan sign was tomorrow, so you had one day to find something to bring.

You’ve been walking through the city of Seoul for almost 3 hours now and you’ve lost count of how many stores you’ve walked into only to walk out 10 minutes later, empty handed. You haven’t found anything for them to sign yet, and at this point, you were thinking of just letting them sign your hand.

Getting hungry, you were about to turn around and head back to your hotel when you swear you saw a little RJ staring at you through a window. Doing a double take, you realize it’s a small record shop with BT21 character stickers on its window. You decide to take a look inside, and as you make your way deeper into the store, you spot some of BTS’ albums. You excitedly head over to the albums, picking out their most recent album, BE. 

You walk out of the store with your newly purchased album, heading back with a content smile on your face. You stop by a small restaurant on your way, eating dinner as a celebration for finding something for BTS to sign. Unlocking the door to your hotel room, you place your bags on the floor before hopping into the shower and changing into more comfortable clothes.

Sitting at the desk provided by the hotel, you start writing letters, one for each member. Your Korean wasn’t the best so you weren’t sure if you would be able to communicate well with them at the fan sign. Getting an opportunity to meet BTS was already rare, and you probably wouldn’t get the chance ever again so you wanted to make sure you could tell them everything you wanted to say. You were also sure that even if they did understand everything you said, you would probably mess up or forget half the things you wanted to say due to nervousness.

Scribbling down your thoughts, you just couldn’t seem to get the wording right. You throw away the letter you were working on, grabbing a new sheet of paper to start anew. Surrounded by balls of paper scattered on the floor, you were growing frustrated when none of the letters seemed to come out right, but you refused to rest until they were done.

A couple of hours later, you were finally signing the last letter. You place the pen down on the desk as you lean back in your chair. Your hand was cramping from all the writing and your neck was sore from leaning over the desk, but you still smiled as you carefully folded each letter. Clearing the desk, you smile as you place the letters on top of the album so they’re ready for tomorrow.

It was almost 1 am when you finally got into bed, but you didn’t mind. You often had trouble falling asleep when there was something special the next day, so you needed to exhaust yourself to fall asleep.

In the morning, you wake up feeling refreshed and prepared for the fan sign. You pick out another outfit, finishing it off with a black bucket hat. You place your album and letters in your bag, checking your hotel room one more time before heading out.

When you arrive outside the doors, a crowd is formed around someone inside. You walk into the building to get a closer look, and you see an ARMY in the middle of the room, yelling about something you couldn’t understand. You couldn’t see her face either, because she was wearing a black bucket hat just like you were.

BTS was sitting inside, waiting for their fans to start coming in. It was 5 minutes past the time they were supposed to start and they could hear something going on outside. RM turns to one of the staff. “What’s going on out there?” he asks. The rest of the members turn to listen to the staff as well. “There’s one ARMY outside that’s causing some problems,” the staff informs them. 

The boys frown, hearing that one of their fans was causing trouble. “Are they still allowed to come in?” Jimin asks. The staff nods, “She did pay for it, so you are still obligated to sign her things. However, you are not required to speak to her.” The boys nod in understanding. “Don’t interact with her then. ARMY needs to know that this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated,” RM authorizes, and the rest of the boys nod in agreement. “She was wearing a black bucket hat and jeans,” the staff informs them. They nod and thank the staff before the doors open and the fans start piling in.

You shrug off it off as you enter the room that the fan sign will be held in. Walking down the aisle to get to your seat, you see BTS sitting at the long table at the front of the room. They sat in the order of Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V, Jungkook, RM, and Jin. Taking your seat, you wait as the rest of the fans file into the room, taking their seats. Once everyone’s settled, the fan sign begins. Row by row, ARMYs get the chance to go up and talk to the members, give them gifts, and get their belongings signed.

Your seat was near the middle so you would have to wait a while before it was your turn to go up. You didn’t really understand what they were saying when they spoke into the mics, so you just watched them interact with each fan that went up. You noticed that they tried to make as much eye contact as possible, genuine smiles on their faces as they spoke to each person. It was so sweet how much they loved and treasured every one of their fans.

It was finally your row’s turn to go up, and as you stand in line by the table, your hands start shaking in excitement and nervousness. You watch as the person in front of you talks with Suga. When they move on from Suga to J-Hope, you have to take a deep breath to calm yourself down before walking up to Suga.

You give him a closed-eye smile as you greet him brightly. “Hello-” your eyes shoot open when he grabs the album from your hands, swiftly signing it before sliding it over to J-Hope. You blink in confusion as he didn’t even give you the chance to say hi. He turns to the person behind you in line, completely ignoring your presence. You stood there unsure of what to do. Realizing that he had no intentions of talking to you, you place your letter on the table, disappointment settling in when he doesn’t even acknowledge it because he’s smiling and talking with the fan behind you.

You sadly move on to J-Hope, who just signs your album before sliding it over to Jimin. You open your mouth to greet him but you immediately shut it when he looks at you angrily. Your heart sinks to your stomach, and you hurriedly place his letter on the table before moving on to Jimin. You didn’t know what you did wrong, but you felt terrible when you didn’t even receive a smile from J-Hope who was a literal ball of sunshine.

As you stand in front of Jimin, you try to smile at him, but it quickly drops when he gives you an irritated look across the table. He signs your album as well, glaring down at you in a demeaning manner as he slides it over to V. You swallow thickly as you shakily give him your letter.

When V receives your album, he doesn’t sign it right away like everyone else. He waits for a few moments, glaring at you from across the table. He maintains eye contact as he signs your album, and you shrink under his gaze. Your eyes start burning as tears start to form, but you try to hold them back.

Jungkook simply shakes his head when he receives your album, making it clear that he didn’t want to sign your things. It makes you feel even worse, which you didn’t think was possible at this point. You were afraid to meet RM again, fearful of what his reaction would be towards you. You pull your hat down to cover your eyes so you wouldn’t have to see him and the disappointed look he was sure to give you as everyone else did.

You couldn’t see it because your hat blocked your view, but RM was quite distracted as he signed your album. During the entirety of the fan sign, he had been waiting to see you again. He should have been more focused on disciplining ARMY, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Giving the album to Jin, RM looks up and scans the room for the nth time today in search of you, the girl from the concert who gave her ticket away. Failing to spot you, he sighs and rests his chin on his hand as he waits for the next fan. Maybe she didn’t come, he sadly thinks to himself.

After Jin signs your album, he can’t even bring himself to hand it to you. Instead, he pushes it towards you on the table, not even looking in your direction. You take the album, hugging it close to your chest as you bow, saying a small “thank you” as you rush to your seat.

As you quickly walk to your seat, your vision is blurred by your unshed tears. Sitting down, you finally let your tears stream freely down your cheeks, crying silently as you try to pull your bucket hat down even more. Using your sleeves to wipe your tears, you look back up to the front. 

Your heart shatters when you see all of them happily interacting with the rest of their fans, smiling, laughing, talking, and holding hands. Why were you treated so differently? Although you were sure you didn’t do anything wrong, it felt like you did everything wrong. BTS was so gracious and forgiving to others and you’ve never seen them be anything but kind to others, so why were you the only exception?

RM was trying his hardest to be present and talk with their fans, but his mind was elsewhere. Why didn’t you show up? Did something happen? He knew he shouldn’t be so affected by you, hell, he didn’t even know your name, but you plagued his mind. Your smile, your way of thinking, and your kind heart made him fall for you. Hard. And he couldn’t help the disappointment that he felt when you didn’t come to see him.

The possibility of you being the ARMY with the black bucket hat flashes through his mind for a second, but he quickly dismisses it. There was no way. When he met you at the concert, you were so kind and warm hearted, there was no way you were the one who caused a commotion at their fan sign.

Your heart broke as you watched everyone else get the chance to talk and laugh with BTS, and you had to rip your eyes away from them as more tears formed in your eyes. You want to believe that everything happens for a reason and that giving Aeri your ticket really wasn’t a mistake. But as you hug your signed album tightly to your chest, shaking as you tried your hardest to contain your sobs, you can’t help but regret it and think that it was a mistake. Tugging at the edges of your hat, you sink into your seat as you squeeze your eyes shut, praying for the fan sign to be over soon.

Suddenly, the doors are opened as someone is brought into the room. You remain still, keeping your eyes shut as everyone else turns towards the back of the room. It was the ARMY you saw earlier at the entrance, and she deeply bows and apologizes to everyone for her earlier behaviour.

As soon as the members realize that they had the wrong person, their hearts drop to their stomachs. They look at each other with wide eyes, panic and guilt evident in their faces. They’re unsure what to do, but they remain composed as they listen attentively to her apology first. Although she apologized, she still was not allowed to stay and participate in the fan sign, so she quickly got her things signed before she was escorted out.

Once the doors close behind her, RM grabs a mic and stands. Clearing his throat he says, “Can any ARMY with a black bucket hat please come up to the stage.” He along with the rest of the members scans the crowd for your hat, desperately waiting for someone to step up. When no one stands, they visibly deflate as the guilt sets in.

Many of the ARMYs sitting near you cast glances at you, but you don’t notice as your hat blocks your field of vision. You had sunk so far down in your seat that none of the boys could spot you even from the raised stage. When no one comes forward, they assume that you left, and their hearts ache as they imagine one of their beloved fans leaving their fan sign absolutely heartbroken because of them.

Suddenly, Suga straightens up in his seat in realization. “Wait, when she came up to me she said hello. Maybe she doesn’t understand Korean,” he quickly explains. Jin quickly jumps in, “She said thank you in English to me too. She must speak English,” he says hopefully.

RM’s blood runs cold when he hears that the ARMY they mistreated speaks English. It couldn’t have been you, right? He hastily stands up, knocking his chair down behind him while he fumbles with the mic. “Sorry,” he says in English, “Is there any ARMY here wearing a black bucket hat?” he asks desperately.

You freeze as soon as the question leaves RM’s mouth. You peak from under your hat only to find everyone staring at you. You shrink away from their gazes, desperately wanting to get out as soon as possible. You remain frozen as the room sits in silence, afraid that if you moved one bit, you’d be found.

Letting out a sigh of disappointment, RM clenches his jaw as he places the mic down on the table, sitting back in his chair that Jungkook picked up for him. He stares sadly at the table as he realizes that that probably was you, and he just destroyed any chance he had of meeting you again. Suga quickly picks up a mic, seeing the heartbroken state of the leader. “Sorry about that,” he apologizes. “Let’s continue,” he motions to everyone.

The rest of the fan sign goes by smoothly, but the members can’t ignore the guilt weighing down their shoulders. It didn’t help that their leader was in a worse state than they were and they didn’t even know the reason why. But Jin saw the realization in RM’s eyes when they said you must speak English. And even though RM was the leader, as the oldest, Jin still felt the need to take care of him. Jin motions to one of the staff standing off to the side. “Did anyone leave the fan sign?” he asks quietly.

The staff shakes their head at him, “No one has left except for the fan that was escorted out.” Jin nods and whispers to the staff, “Can you find an ARMY with a black bucket hat? Please ask her to stay after.” The staff nods before walking off the stage and standing to the side, checking each row thoroughly for you.

“Don’t worry,” Jin leans over and tells RM, “She’s still here.” RM looks at him with wide eyes before visibly relaxing. “Thanks, Hyung,” he smiles at Jin, only to get a wink and finger guns in return. Seeing their leader cheer up, the rest of the members also relax even though they didn’t know what the situation was.

You had zoned out, wondering where you went wrong and how you ended up in this situation. You were so excited about this fan sign, but now you wanted nothing more than for it to be over. You were suddenly pulled from your thoughts when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You quickly wipe cheeks with your sleeves, peeking out from under your hat. 

BTS see a staff member approach someone in the crowd, and they all strain to try and see what was going on. They catch a glimpse of your hat, and they look at each other in relief. But no one was as glad as RM now that you’ve been found. His leg was bouncing underneath the table, eager to speak to you and sort things out.

You’re met with a staff member who tries to tell you something in Korean. “Sorry?” you tilt your head in confusion. “Please stay after,” they try again, this time in English. You just nod before the staff member quickly retreats back to their spot on stage, nodding at Jin in confirmation that they found you.

Your brows furrow in confusion as you didn’t get much of an explanation, probably because you didn’t understand Korean. Why did they want you to stay after the fan sign? Was it for the same reason all of BTS seemed to hate you? Suddenly, you didn’t want the fan sign to end anymore, you wanted to be anywhere but here. You nervously play with the hem of your shirt as you anxiously wait for the fan sign to be over.

When BTS say their final goodbyes and thank everyone for coming, you consider following everyone else out instead of staying like you were asked to. But all the members’ eyes remain on you. They knew where you were seated because they saw the staff member approach you, and you stood out as you were the only one who remained seated as everyone else stood up to leave. Feeling their gazes on you, you remained as still as a rock, staring down at your hands in your lap.

“Is she alive?” V whispers in Jimin’s ear when you don’t move. Jimin simply shrugs as they wait for the room to empty. RM’s gaze is intense as he stares at you, trying to catch a glimpse of your face to confirm it’s you, but it’s pointless as your hat covers more than half of your face from his view. When the doors close behind the last person to leave, the room falls into a heavy silence. You break into a cold sweat as you sit in silence, waiting for what they have to say.

RM picks up his mic from the table, slowly bringing it up to his mouth. “Hello,” he says gently, but it still causes you to flinch noticeably in your seat. The members frown at how afraid you were, wanting nothing more than to make you feel comfortable around them. You hesitantly raise your gaze from your hands to the front of the room to find all 7 of them staring at you. They all give you guilty or apologetic smiles as RM asks you to come up to the stage.

You get up, placing your album on your chair before hesitantly making your way to the front of the room. Standing in front of them, you keep your gaze on the floor, avoiding eye contact with them. RM makes his way around the table, and his shoes come into your view as he stands in front of you. The rest of the members follow him, standing behind him. He notices the way your hands are shaking, and he gently takes your hands in his to try and calm you down.

He kneels in front of you to get a view of your face. “It is you,” he whispers when your eyes meet. He smiles, glad to see you again, but his heart breaks when he sees how red and puffy your eyes are. You try to return the smile, but he can tell that it’s forced compared to the bright way you smiled at him at the concert.

He takes a step back to join the rest of the members, and this time, you build up the courage to meet their eyes. You no longer find any anger or animosity in their eyes, only guilt and regret. Suddenly, they all bow to you, causing your eyes to widen. “We’re so sorry,” RM says on behalf of all of them, “We mistook you for the ARMY that was caused a commotion before the fan sign. We’re so sorry for how we treated you.”

Realizing it was all a misunderstanding, you feel so relieved as a sob escapes your throat, causing their heads to shoot up immediately in concern. You try to wipe your tears, but it’s no use as they’re now freely streaming down your face. Smiling sadly at you, RM stands and pulls you into a hug, patting you back comfortingly. RM curses himself as he holds your shaking form against his own, knowing that he was the cause of your pain.

“It’s okay, let it out,” he says as the rest of the members surround you to join in the hug. When you’ve calmed down to just sniffling, you feel embarrassed that you just cried in front of all of them. “Sorry,” you apologize as you pull away. “It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. You have the right to be upset after the way we treated you,” RM assures you.

This time, it’s your turn to console them as you give them a comforting smile. “It’s not your fault,” you wave your hands in front of you defensively, “It was just unlucky, but I’m okay now,” you reassure them. Your kind smile settles the guilty feeling in their chests as they smile back, glad that you were okay.

V and Jimin push Jungkook to the front, causing him to stumble. He steadies himself and smiles at you before clearing his throat. “Please come eat dinner with us so we can make it up to you,” he says confidently in English. Your eyes widen at his invitation before you wave your hands in front of you and shake your head. “Oh no, it’s okay. You don’t have to make anything up to me, it was an honest mistake,” you tell them. 

Jin complains, speaking so fast he sounds like he’s rapping, but you don’t understand what he’s saying. RM translates for you, “He said it’s not fair if you don’t give us a chance to make up for everything.”

“We won’t be able to relax until we make it up to you, so just come eat with us,” Suga says nonchalantly in English. “Yeah, it’ll be fun!” J-Hope adds, swinging an arm around your shoulders. Of course, you would love to eat with BTS, but you didn’t want to bother them. “Are you sure it’s okay? I don’t want to intrude on your meal,” you ask, unsure.

“Don’t worry!” Jimin says in English. “Yeah, we want to get to know Namjoon Hyung’s crush!” V says in Korean. Embarrassed, RM coughs awkwardly before translating. “He just said don’t worry, we’d love to have you,” he lies. You contemplate whether you should go or not, but you couldn’t resist their pleading eyes and you knew you would regret passing up the opportunity to spend time with your idols. “Ok!” you finally agree with a big smile. “Ok!” J-Hope cheers happily. 

“Where do you want to eat?” Suga asks you. Jungkook jumps up, shouting that he wants to eat chicken. Jin smacks Jungkook’s arm. “He’s asking her, not you!” he scolds Jungkook. You laugh as Jungkook pouts. “I’m sure you guys know better than I do, so I don’t mind if you pick,” you answer.

Jungkook and V start running towards the doors, telling the rest of them to hurry up. Jimin grabs your hand, flashing you a closed-eye smile as he pulls you along. “Let’s go!” he says happily. You laugh happily as you two head towards the exit. Jungkook and V call Jimin slow, causing Jimin to let go of your hand to chase after them. You follow them through the doors when someone grabs your hand, pulling you back. 

You turn to find RM who’s nervously tugging at his collar. You could see he was struggling to form words, so you give him an encouraging smile as you wait for him to speak.

“Sorry, I uh, I don’t think I got your name?” he mentions with a raised eyebrow. “Oh! I’m y/n, sorry I completely forgot to introduce myself,” you laugh. “No no, it’s fine. We should have introduced ourselves first,” he reassures you. “RM, you don’t have to introduce yourself. I know who you guys are,” you giggle. “Right, I forgot about that,” he chuckles. “And please, just call me Namjoon,” he says with his dimple smile. You smile back as you nod. “Okay Namjoon,” you say, testing out the waters. He never thought his name ever sounded this good until it came out of your mouth.

“Anyway, thank you for coming today. I’m really glad I got to see you again,” he tells you. “Of course!” you happily, “Thank you for inviting me, I’m really glad I came too. When I was sitting in there earlier, I was starting to think that maybe this was a mistake, but you guys definitely make it worth it,” you tell him truthfully. He smiles at your words, “I’m happy to hear that,” he says. You two stand in awkward silence, smiling like idiots as you both try to sneak glances at each other but end up meeting each other’s eyes every time.

Watching you from afar, Jimin mumbles, “I’ve never seen Namjoon Hyung this nervous before.” The rest nod in agreement as they watch the exchange between you two. Tired of watching you two awkwardly stand there and stare are each other, Jin intervenes. “Yah!” he yells out, causing the both of you to jump. “Hurry up lovebirds! We’re hungry!” he calls in English before walking out with the rest of the members.

You both blush as you look anywhere but at each other. “Shall we go?” Namjoon asks you with a small smile. You nod shyly as you start walking towards the exit, still holding hands with Namjoon.

They took you to one of their favourite restaurants, ordering many different foods for you to try. Sitting at the table with the 7 men, you feel like you’ve known them for years even though you’ve only met them today. You thought that you would be nervous hanging out with people you’ve admired for so long, but they were quick to welcome you and make you feel comfortable. They even tried to speak more English so you could understand and be included.

“So how did you guys meet?” Jimin asks curiously, resting his chin on his hand. “Ah,” Namjoon smiles fondly at the memory. “There was another ARMY that lost her ticket. What was her name?” he turns to you. “Aeri,” you answer with a smile, remembering the new friend you made. “She lost her ticket, so y/n wanted to give her ticket to Aeri instead. The staff needed me to translate, which led to me meeting y/n,” he explains.

“You gave away your ticket?” Hoseok asks in surprise. You shrug as you play with the food on your plate. “She looked really upset, I had to do something,” you say. Jin says something in Korean, placing his hand on his chest as if wounded. “He said, I don’t know if I should be offended that you gave your ticket away,” Namjoon translates with a chuckle. “I’m sorry!” you laugh as you apologize, “I promise I’ll attend another one as soon as I’m able to.”

“Why don’t we have a little concert for y/n now?” Taehyung suggests in Korean. “Now?” Hoseok questions. “Yeah. Let’s take y/n to a karaoke place or something. It’s the closest we can get.” Jungkook nods in agreement. “Yeah let’s go! I’m sure y/n will love Namjoon’s Hyung’s singing!” Jungkook says, causing Jimin to fall onto the table in laughter.

You watch in confusion, not understanding why everyone was laughing. Namjoon sighs and shakes his head. “Would you like to go sing karaoke with us? It’ll sort of be like a private concert for you.” Your heart is warmed by how far they were willing to go to make you feel better. “You guys don’t have to do this, you know. It wasn’t even your fault,” you tell them.

“We just want to spend more time with you,” Jungkook pouts, “It’s not because we feel like we have to make it up to you.” Hoseok wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Yeah! We like you y/n! Come hang out with us!” he says with a smile. You were touched, almost in disbelief that someone as ordinary as you caught their attention. You were skeptical that they were just saying that to make you feel better, but seeing the genuine smiles and looks of anticipation on their faces as they waited for your answer, you couldn’t help but believe them.

When you nod, they all cheer happily, quickly finishing up so that they could head out. Namjoon smiles, silently thanking them for asking you since he didn’t have enough courage to. But as he watched you talk and laugh with the rest of the members, he knew that they weren’t just doing it for him. He could tell they liked you too, and he was glad that you got along with them so well, although he didn’t expect any less.

When everyone was done eating, you stand from the table, ready to go sing some karaoke. Namjoon extends his hand to you once you gathered your things. “Ready to go?” he asks with a smile. You nod, smiling bashfully as you place your hand in his. He leads you to the car, smiling happily as he swings your hands as you walk. Walking being you, the rest of the members coo at you two, and Hoseok snaps a picture or two thinking that it was cute.

You reach the karaoke place after about a 15 minute drive, and they take you to one of the rooms. You look around in awe, “I’ve never been in a karaoke room before,” you say out loud. “Then I’m glad your first time will be with us,” Namjoon says, smiling at how cute you looked being amazed by the lights. “Yeah! It’ll be the best karaoke ever!” Jin says confidently.

Taking a seat on the couch, you play with your sleeves nervously. “Actually,” you start, “I’m not very good at singing,” you tell them. You enjoyed singing, and you actually weren’t bad at it, but you didn’t have the confidence to sing in front of others, let alone 7 professional singers. The boys were quick to wash away your worries. “Don’t worry,” Jimin says, flopping down next to you on the couch, “Namjoon Hyung and Yoongi Hyung can’t sing either!”

Everyone starts laughing as Namjoon rolls his eyes because he knows it’s true.”Yah! Watch, I’ll get a higher score than you!” Yoongi says defensively in Korean. But it just makes Jimin laugh harder as he falls into your lap. You were still a bit afraid to sing in front of them, but their laughter and easy going nature helped calm your nerves.

Seeing your hesitance, Namjoon sits on your other side. “Really, don’t worry. I’m definitely the worst singer here,” he says, trying to reassure you. You smile and nod, grateful for their attempts at comforting you.

Yoongi and Taehyung sing together first, getting a score of 91. “Beat that, Park Jimin,” Yoongi challenges Jimin. Jimin scoffs, grabbing the mic, “Easily. Let’s go Hobi Hyung.” You watch in amusement as Jimin and Hoseok sing their hearts out, trying to beat the score of 91. When they get a score of 87, Yoongi and Taehyung explode around the room, rubbing it in Jimin’s face. “Who’s the worst singer now?” Yoongi says. “Still Namjoon Hyung,” Jimin says, stifling a laugh.

Jungkook sings alone next, but he purposely sings badly as to not put any pressure on you. You laugh happily as he sings in a reggae style, grateful for his consideration. When he finishes with a score of 89, he holds the mic out for you. “It’s your turn,” he says. You simply stare at it hesitantly, until a hand is placed on your shoulder, causing your head to snap to the side.

You meet Namjoon’s comforting dimple smile as he urges you to take the mic. You reluctantly take it from Jungkook, nervously turning it in your hands. Seeing the hesitance in your actions, Namjoon stands from the couch, grabbing a mic for himself. “Would it be easier if I sang with you?” he asks. You nod gratefully, shyly smiling as he pulls you up from the couch.

You stand next to him as he scrolls through the song options. Turning to look at you, he asks, “What song would you like to sing?” You shake your head as you shrug. “I don’t mind,” you say, “Pick whatever you’d like.” He nods, turning back to the screen. He picks an English song, and your hands start to get sweaty as the countdown appears on the screen.

You miss the first few words as you hesitate to sing, but Namjoon takes the lead, slowly encouraging you to join in. Although his singing was off-key, you smile as you join in, trying your best to just focus on the music. But as you stare into his eyes, it feels like you two are the only ones in the room and you’re able to sing freely even though his voice overpowers yours. He smiles as you two sing together, the other members dancing along.

He suddenly stops singing, pulling his mic down as he watches you. You look at him in confusion, lowering your mic as well, but he’s quick to lift it back to your lips. “Keep going,” he says, giving you a supportive smile. Your voice shakes as you sing the next line, but as you look around the room to see all the members happily dancing and singing along, you gain the confidence to sing a bit louder.

Namjoon watches you proudly as you let the music take over, singing like there was no one else in the room. When you finish the song, a score of 95 appears on the screen as the boys cheer for you. Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, lifting and spinning you around in celebration. You laugh happily as he places you down, the rest of the members surrounding you to ruffle your hair and praise you.

“You said you couldn’t sing!” Yoongi whines and points at you accusingly. You laugh awkwardly as you rub the back of your neck. “I guess I have some good days,” you say shrugging. “Have more confidence in yourself,” Namjoon scolds you, “You have a beautiful voice.” You blush, flustered by all the praise and compliments they were giving you.

But they gave you the confidence you needed to sing and dance along with them as they sang the night away. After a couple of hours, everyone was exhausted, except for Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin who were still singing. Jin would join them occasionally before retreating back to the couch to take a break.

You sit beside Namjoon as he watches them like a proud dad. You sway slightly as you listen to their beautiful voices. Once they sang to their heart’s content, Namjoon stands up from the couch. “Shall we head back now?” he asks. Everyone nods, finishing their drinks and gathering their things.

“Did you have fun today?” Namjoon asks you. You nod, smiling as recall all the events of today. “Of course! Today has probably been the best day of my life,” you admit. You bow deeply to them, coming back up to smile at them brightly. “Thank you so much for inviting me! I had so much fun!” you tell them. They return your smile, waving off your thanks. “You don’t have to thank us,” Yoongi says. “We had fun too!” Hoseok adds.

As you walk outside the karaoke place, you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to conserve your warmth. You didn’t think you would be out this late so you weren’t dressed for the cold of the night. Noticing you were shivering, Namjoon shrugs off his coat, placing it over your shoulders.

You were suddenly engulfed by something warm and soft, you turn to find Namjoon with no coat on. You’re about to protest and give his coat back, but he’s quick to stop you. He pulls it tighter around your form, making sure you’re bundled up properly. “What about you?” you ask in concern. He simply shrugs, “I’m used to the cold. Besides, you look cute in my coat,” he tells you with a smirk. You blush, looking the other way to hide your flustered face. “Thank you,” you mumble, although you weren’t sure if you were thanking him for the coat or for the compliment.

He makes his way to the car, but he looks back in confusion when you don’t follow him. “You coming?” he asks. You shake your head, “Oh no, it’s already late, I don’t want to bother you. My hotel’s not that far from here,” you lie. They’ve already done so much for you and didn’t want to bother them anymore. He shakes his head at you, grabbing your hand before dragging you towards the van.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you walk alone at this time,” he tells you as he waits for you to get in the van. You pout at him, but you can tell he’s adamant about not letting you walk home. With a huff, you climb into the van. Namjoon climbs in behind you, taking the seat next to you. You tell the driver the address of your hotel before you start the drive back. 5 minutes into the drive, your head starts bobbing as your eyelids start to feel heavy. You try to fight it, but eventually, you give in, your eyelids too heavy to keep open any longer.

When he feels a weight on his shoulder, Namjoon turns to find you asleep on his shoulder. He smiles fondly at you as you snore quietly. The rest of the members smile at how adorable you looked and at how cute you and Namjoon were together. “Let her sleep,” Namjoon tells them, “She’s had a long day.”

When they arrive outside your hotel, Namjoon gently shakes you awake. You rub your eyes as you yawn and sit up, still half asleep. “We’re here,” Namjoon tells you, chuckling at your sleepy state. Hearing his voice makes you remember where you were, causing you to snap fully awake. You look around at all of them with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry,” you immediately apologize, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“It’s okay, we shouldn’t have kept you out this long,” he tells you. “Come on, I’ll walk you in.” You nod, smiling and waving to the rest of the boys and bidding them goodnight as you step out of the van. It’s silent as you and Namjoon stand in the elevator, but it’s a comfortable silence. The elevator dings as the doors open, and you step out into the hallway. Namjoon walks you all the way to your door, making sure that you get home safely.

“Thank you again, for everything. I never would have gotten to meet everyone if it wasn’t for you,” you tell him. “It was my pleasure, really. And they enjoy your company as well,” he says. He stands there awkwardly like he has something to say.

“So,” he trails on, “When are you leaving?” he asks curiously. “My flight back is scheduled for Monday,” you tell him. “We have a few days off, so maybe I could show you around?” he suggests hopefully, to which you respond with a nod. “I’d like that,” you tell him with a smile. You give each other your phones, exchanging numbers.

“Great,” he says, “I’ll let you go now, you need to rest. I can come pick you up tomorrow at noon?” he asks. “Sounds perfect!” you say happily. He smiles his dimple smile, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Goodnight y/n,” he says. “Goodnight Namjoon,” you say as your lips curl into a smile.

You wave and smile at him as the elevator doors close before walking into your room. When you’re about to change into your pajamas, you suddenly realize you still had Namjoon’s jacket on. You panic before remembering you would see him tomorrow, so you could just give it to him then. But a part of you still worries that he would be cold now. Hanging it neatly on the back of a chair, you brush your teeth and do your nightly routine before climbing into bed. You fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow, exhausted after such an eventful day.

As soon as the elevator doors close, Namjoon takes a deep inhale, forgetting how to breathe. What were you doing to him? It was just a kiss on the forehead, and yet his heart was beating out of his chest. He tries to calm his racing heart as the elevator descends back down to the ground floor. Pulling his cap down over his face, he walks through the lobby and back to the car. As he climbs back into the van, the rest of the members stare at him expectantly. “So?” Jin asks with a raised eyebrow. “So?” Namjoon asks back.

“Did you ask her out?”

“Did you kiss???”

“Did you propose?!”

Their outrageous questions cause him to choke on air, forcing him into a coughing fit. Hoseok starts slapping Namjoon’s back, trying to calm his coughing fit. “I just offered to show her around,” he says once he recovers. “I’ll pick her up tomorrow at noon.” The boys nod, happy that Namjoon found someone that made him happy. “I also... kissed her,” he adds.

“Huh?!?!” Taehyung says loudly, eyes blown wide as he stares at the leader. “You did what?!” Jin yells at Namjoon, straining so much the veins in his neck were visible. All the members’ eyes stare at Namjoon with shocked faces, but he’s quick to clarify. “It was just on the forehead!” he explains, frantically waving his hands in front of him. “Yah!” Jin smacks him on the arm, “You can’t just say that!”

The rest of the car ride is quiet, with most of the members asleep or having small conversation. Namjoon’s eyes are unfocused as he stares out the window, watching buildings pass by as he thinks about tomorrow. He should be used to unsure situations like these. Actually, he mostly was used to feelings of nervousness, anticipation and uncertainty. But you made him feel like 1000 butterflies had erupted in his stomach in the best way possible.

Arriving back at their home, everyone washes up and gets ready for bed. They all bid each other goodnight before retiring into their rooms for the night. But Namjoon remains in the kitchen, sitting at the counter and searching for some good places to take you tomorrow. After planning out the day and taking note of a few places, he too retreats into his bedroom to get some sleep.

You wake up the next morning feeling refreshed and energized. You pick up your phone from the nightstand to check the time. “It’s already 11:02 am?!” you yell out loud. Namjoon was going to be here in less than an hour! you think to yourself. Hurriedly climbing out of bed, you jump into the shower and quickly get ready. Part of you was cursing yourself for sleeping in, but at the same time, you were glad there was little time until Namjoon would be here. No doubt if you woke up earlier, time would’ve felt like it was passing by so slowly as you waited for Namjoon.

By the time you’re ready to go out, it’s 11:49 am. You debate whether you have time for a small breakfast, but your thoughts are interrupted when you hear a knock at your door. Guess that answers your question. Smoothing down your clothes, you take a deep breath before opening the door with a smile.

“Hey!” you greet him happily. “Hey,” he offers you his dimple smile, “You ready to go?” You nod, grabbing your bag before joining him in the hallway. “So where are we going?” you ask him as you two start walking towards the elevator. “I was thinking of going to this cafe nearby, have you eaten-” he’s suddenly interrupted as your stomach growls loudly. Your face goes beet red as you press the button for the elevator. He laughs at your flustered face as you step into the elevator. “I kind of slept in and didn’t have time to eat,” you confess, embarrassed as you stare at your shoes. “That’s great!” he exclaims as you raise an eyebrow at him. ”Well, not great. But it’s fine, we can go to the cafe now,” he says. You giggle at him, glad that you weren’t the only one who was nervous. 

Arriving at the cafe, Namjoon holds the door open for you. You smile and thank him before entering, the little bell on the door above you ringing again as the door closes behind Namjoon. The smell of coffee and baked goods hit you as soon as you walk into the cafe. “Pick a table,” he tells you, smiling at how adorable you looked as you excitedly looked around. The cafe was actually quite fancy, decorated with expensive looking lights and many bookshelves, but it still had the cozy warm feeling that cafes should have. 

You choose a table in the back next to a window to have a bit more privacy as well as a view outside. You take a seat, excitedly swinging your legs underneath your chair as you look at the menu. There were so many things you wanted to try but you were so indecisive. Namjoon chuckles, peeking at you over his menu as you stare intensely at your menu, your tongue slightly poking out in concentration. 

“Do you need help?” he asks, an amused smile on his face. “I can’t choose,” you whine, “Everything looks so good,” you say with a small pout. He laughs before pointing out some of his personal favourites on the menu. Finally deciding on your order with Namjoon’s help, he gives the waiter both of your menus. 

Your orders arrive soon after, and your eyes sparkle as your desserts are placed in front of you. You excitedly dig in, savouring the taste before you tell Namjoon, “This is delicious!” His lips curl into a small smile as he places his elbow on the table, leaning his chin on his hand as he takes a sip of his coffee. You freeze as Namjoon continues to stare. “Is there something on my face?” you ask, suddenly feeling a little conscious under his intense gaze.

He laughs, leaning back in his chair as he shakes his head, “No no, you just look so cute.” You blush, staring down at your plate as you try to hide your flustered face. He chuckles at your red cheeks before taking a piece of his food and holding his fork out to you. “Try some,” he offers with a smile. You lean forward, eating from his fork as your face somehow turns even redder. Your face lights up as you taste the food. “Is there anything here that isn’t good?” you wonder out loud.

Namjoon leans over the table, using his thumb to brush off a few crumbs by the corner of your lips. Your face burns even more and you swear he’s trying to make you flustered at this point. “I’m not sure,” he says casually, “Maybe we should visit this cafe again and find out.” You stare at him, mouth agape before laughing. “That was smooth like butter.” He laughs along with you, leaning back in his chair. “I’ll take you up on that offer some time,” you say, offering him a bite of your food. He takes it, raising his eyebrows and smiling gratefully at you as he chews. 

You two continue to feed each other sweets, talking about anything and everything. You’ve never been happier, and suddenly all the sadness and disappointment you felt at the concert and the fan sign feels so worth it, as it led to where you are now. In your own little world with Namjoon, everything just felt right, and you were so sure that this was no mistake.

 there are no mistakes | part 2

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: fluff + angst

WC: 11.1k

Author’s note: i wasn’t planning on writing a part 2 but @rjsmochii this is for u and anyone else who wanted a part 2!! <3

part 1

When your sweet tooth was finally satisfied, you two get up from your seats, walking over to the counter to pay. Namjoon takes his card out to give to the cashier but you quickly stop him. “You don’t have to,” you say as you rummage through your bag for your wallet. He places his hand on your arm, halting your movements, “I want to,” he tells you with a reassuring smile. He hands the cashier his card, and you pout as you watch them scan his card. He chuckles at your expression, patting your head, “I’m the one who invited you here, stop frowning.”

You turn your head away with a huff. “I’m not frowning,” you mumble, crossing your arms in defiance, but it just makes you look like a stubborn child. He jokingly rolls his eyes at you, grabbing ahold of your hand as you exit the cafe. Your anger quickly fades as it’s replaced by shyness. Glancing at you from the corner of his eye, he finds it cute how your cheeks turn pink every time he does something as simple as holding your hand or hugging you.

“Where are we going now?” you ask curiously as he pulls you along. “The National Museum of Korea. It has an amazing art exhibit you must see,” he says with a smile. You weren’t much of an art enthusiast, but seeing the excited smile on Namjoon’s face was enough for you to want to check it out. He guides you through the museum as he was already familiar with the place, having visited many times before. He shows you all of his favourite pieces, explaining what each one meant to him, and you find yourself falling for him even more. You already knew he was a beautiful person, inside and out, but his passion for art proved it to you once more.

You take pictures of him with a painting of sunset for him to post later on Twitter for ARMY. “Do you want me to take a picture of you too?” he offers. You nod, taking his spot next to the artwork as you swap positions. Snapping a picture of you next to the beautiful painting, Namjoon shows you the picture with a grin, “I’m not sure which one is the piece of art.” You blush and smack him on the shoulder, hurriedly walking to the next exhibit while you try to calm down your burning face. He laughs at how easy it is to make you flustered as he follows you into the next room. 

After walking through the museum, marvelling at the art and enjoying each other’s company, he takes you to your next destination. “What’s next?” you ask as look up at Namjoon. “We just spent a lot of time indoors looking at paintings, so I thought it’d be nice to get some fresh air and go to the beach?” he says, unsure if that was something you wanted to do. Your face lights up as you grab his hand and pull him along excitedly. “Hurry up! What are we waiting for?” you say, eager to go to the beach. 

He laughs at your childish nature, relieved that you seemed more than pleased with his idea. He resists as you pull him along, and you turn back at him in confusion. “The beach is the other way,” he says with a chuckle, pointing behind him. “Oh, my bad,” you say with an embarrassed laugh. “Let’s go,” he says with a smile.

Namjoon planned the day out perfectly, and by the time you reach the beach, the sun was starting to set. As the beach comes into view, you can hear the sound of crashing waves, and you can smell the salty ocean water. The sky was painted a gradient of many different colours, and the sunset reflected off the water’s surface. “Wow,” you breathe out. The sunset painting in the museum was amazing, but this sunset was the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen. Your eyes shine brightly as you stare out at the ocean, your mouth wide in awe as you take in the view. Namjoon had to admit, the view was indeed gorgeous, but it couldn’t compare to your beauty. 

“It’s so beautiful!” you say, turning to him. Words weren’t enough to express how beautiful it was, but one look into his eyes and you knew he understood you. He nods in agreement. “It is,” he says, “But not as beautiful as you.” He could see the pink dusting your cheeks as you turn back to the ocean. You pull your phone out, taking several pictures of the view. A picture wasn’t enough to capture the beauty of the occasion, but you wanted to remember this moment forever. “Stay there,” you tell him as you take a few steps back. You take a picture of the view with Namjoon in the shot. He poses for the picture, forming a big heart over his head. You laugh at the cute poses he strikes. 

Approaching him to show him the pictures, he smiles. “Let me take some of you too,” he insists, already getting in position to take your picture. You weren’t a model like Namjoon, but he couldn’t help but smile as he took your photos. Something about the simplicity of your poses only exaggerated your beauty, complimenting the beautiful sunset in the background.

He flips the camera on your phone to the front camera, moving next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. He takes a few selfies, both of you smiling happily like you didn’t have a care in the world. He turns to face you, placing a quick peck on your cheek. Your eyes grow wide as he snaps the picture, capturing the moment perfectly. Looking at the picture, he chuckles at the shocked expression on your face. “I think this one is my favourite,” he says, teasing you as you try to hide your flustered face. “N-Not fair!” you complain, but you end up setting the picture as your phone’s lock screen.

To end the day off, Namjoon planned to take you to one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. Nearly everything you two have done was something that just friends could do. He wanted to make sure you understood that he liked you more than just a friend, and he thought a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant would do the job.

Walking into the restaurant, he notices that you look a little uneasy. Do you not like the restaurant? Do you not feel the same way about him? Although he looks calm and put together on the outside, he starts panicking internally, hoping he didn’t fuck everything up. “Is something wrong?” he asks, both out of concern for you and his own anxiousness. “Oh, yeah,” you nod, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve just never been to a restaurant as fancy as this before,” you say with a laugh to cover up your uneasiness, but he can tell that it’s forced.

He places his hand on your lower back as he guides you to your reserved table, trying to provide you with a sense of comfort. “You have nothing to worry about,” he tells you with a smile, “Just enjoy yourself.” You nod, your lips curling into a small smile as Namjoon’s presence comforts you.

Sitting at the table with your menu in hand, you take a moment to look around the restaurant. Everyone else in the restaurant looked rich and expensive, dressed in formal attire with a noble air surrounding them. As you look back at yourself, you feel out of place. You bury your face in the menu, trying to ignore all the stares you can feel on the back of your head. You couldn’t help but feel self-conscious under everyone’s stares, hyperaware of everything you do. 

Glancing up from his menu, Namjoon can read you like an open book. It wasn’t your fault, but so far, this dinner wasn’t going as he planned. He could tell you were uncomfortable, and honestly, he wasn’t having the time of his life either.  As he stares at you from across the table, he notices all the little things you do when you’re nervous. Your eyes were quickly flitting from your menu to other tables, and you were unconsciously chewing on your bottom lip. He places his menu on the table with a sigh, leaning forward as he places his elbows on the table. Lacing his fingers together, he rests his chin on his hands as he eyes you with a serious but concerned stare. “Do you want to leave?” he asks gently.

You look up at him with wide eyes. “No!” you blurt out almost a bit too loudly. You quickly shrink in your seat, anxiously looking around. When no one seems to notice or care about your outburst, you turn back to Namjoon, a bit more relaxed now. “Sorry, I know there’s nothing for me to worry about,” you apologize for your odd behaviour, but he shakes his head at you. “You don’t have to apologize, I shouldn’t have brought you here without asking first. Should we go somewhere else?” he asks, hoping you would say yes so you guys could get out of there.

“No, no, it’s okay, really,” you tell him with a forced smile. “If you’re uncomfortable then I don’t want to force you to stay,” he says with a frown when you lie to him. “I’m okay,” you insist, “You took the time to make a reservation and everything, I don’t want you to throw it away just because I’m uncomfortable.” His frown only deepens when you downplay your emotions. Even he was uncomfortable, and he was used to restaurants such as these. He could only imagine how uneasy you would feel. 

“Are you sure?” he asks as he stares at you with nothing but concern in his eyes. Your comfort and happiness were his priority and he hoped you trusted him enough to tell him how you honestly felt. When he sees your hesitance to say yes, he continues. “Because honestly, I’d rather have tteokbokki or ramen for dinner. This place is so fancy I don’t even know what half the things on the menu are,” he tells you, and he feels relieved as you laugh at his complaints, a little more relaxed than before.

Placing his hand on top of yours on the table, his dimples appear as he smiles at you warmly. “So let’s get out of here, I can’t stand having to sit up so straight or laugh politely anymore.” You nod eagerly as you stand from your seat, heading back towards the entrance. Feeling everyone’s eyes on you as you stand, you reach for Namjoon’s hand. He gives your hand a comforting squeeze, leading you towards the entrance. He has a quick chat with the waitress before pushing the door open and pulling you out of the restaurant. 

You let out a sigh of relief once you were out of that stuffy restaurant, laughing when he does the same. Even though it was late, the streets were still busy. You swing your intertwined hands as you walk, a content smile on your face as you enjoy the cool evening breeze. He takes his phone out of his pocket with his free hand, dialing Jin’s number. “Hello?” Jin answers. “Hey Hyung, have you guys eaten yet?” Namjoon asks. “Not yet. Yoongi and I were just about to start cooking,” Jin replies, confusion lacing his voice as Namjoon was supposed to be on a date with you. He was about to ask what happened when Namjoon’s voice cuts through the speakers of his phone. “Can you cook for two more? Y/n and I are coming back for dinner.” Jin chuckles, knowing it wasn’t necessary to answer the question. They always cooked extra anyway.

“What happened to that fancy restaurant you reserved? I thought it was the best one around.”Namjoon rubs the back of his neck even though Jin can’t see him, “Yeah that didn’t work out. It was too fancy and just uncomfortable.” Jin holds the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, already starting to prepare dinner. “Yah!” he yells to someone in the background, “Set the table for 2 more people!” he yells before addressing Namjoon. “You better watch out Namjoon, maybe we’ll woo y/n over with our cooking,” he jokes. Namjoon playfully rolls his eyes, “Yeah right Hyung-” he suddenly rips the phone away from his ear. You could hear shouts coming from the phone even though it wasn’t even in speaker mode.

“Is y/n coming?” you hear your name being mentioned, but you’re not sure what the context of the situation was. You raise a questioning eyebrow at Namjoon, but he just smiles before bringing the phone back to his ear, saying a quick thanks and goodbye before hanging up the phone. “I was just letting them know we’ll be joining them for dinner.” You nod and open your mouth as you were about to say something when something catches your eye.

Walking through the city, there were many food stands still open and selling food. “Didn’t you say you wanted tteobokki? Let’s bring some back for everyone!” you suggest as you point to the stand. “Look! There are dumplings too! Tae was telling me how much he likes dumplings when we had dinner yesterday, let’s get some for him too,” you say, already heading towards the stands. Namjoon trails behind you, watching as you order for everyone. His heart is warmed as you pick out many different foods, excited to surprise everyone with their favourites.

He’s about to hand his card to the vendor but you swat his hand away, frowning at him as you give your card instead. “You already paid at the cafe and you’re inviting me over for dinner. I’m paying for this,” you insist, leaving no room for argument. He sighs at your stubborn nature but raises his hands in defeat, putting his card away. The vendor hands the bags of newly purchased street food over to you, but Namjoon takes the bags for you. Feeling useless, you whine out his name, “Namjoon.” He couldn’t resist your puppy dog eyes or the adorable pout of your lips. “Fine, fine,” he laughs breathily, handing over two bags for you to carry. You jump happily, taking the bags from him as you happily skip along. He laughs at how you bounce along despite the added weight of the bags. He admires your determination to help whenever you can, and he can’t help but fall for you even more as you turn around and smile at him, jokingly scolding him for being so slow.

Arriving at their dorm, Namjoon unlocks the door, kicking his shoes off as he steps inside. You follow him in, gently shutting the door behind you. Moments after you take your shoes off, you hear heavy footsteps rapidly approaching you. “Y/n!” Jimin yells happily, and you look up to find the three maknaes racing down the hall. They remind you of little puppies running to welcome their owner home. You barely have enough time to place the bags of food down before they engulf you in a hug. You hug them back as the rest of the boys come out from the living room to say hi.

“We missed you!” Jimin tells you. “Yeah! Namjoon Hyung keeps hogging you,” Jungkook says with a pout. “I missed you guys too!” you say, but they don’t miss the subtle flush of your face at Jungkook’s comment. “What’s this?” Yoongi asks as he picks up the bags to bring them inside. “Dumplings!” Taehyung exclaims as he peers into the bag. “We were passing by some food stands and y/n wanted to buy some for you guys,” he explains with a smile.

Hoseok makes a noise of excitement as he claps happily. “You’re the best y/n!” he tells you. You just laugh, happy that you could do something for them, “It’s no problem!” You bring all the food to the table, which was already set and full of food that Jin and Yoongi cooked together. Taking a seat between Namjoon and Jungkook, you clasp your hands in front of you as look at all the food. “Wow! It looks so delicious!” you compliment them. Yoongi gets flustered by your praise, while Jin just gives you a thumbs up. “Let’s eat!” Jungkook says, excitedly digging in.

Sitting around the table with them, laughing and enjoying the food; it felt like family. But a voice in your head was screaming at you to stop, to not get attached because you were going to have to leave them in less than two days. And in the back of your mind, just barely a whisper, another voice was telling you that even if you didn’t have to leave, they would leave you eventually.

They were global superstars, loved by many around the world. You were ordinary, average. You were always afraid to let people in, as they could walk out of your life whenever they wanted. You were afraid of becoming dependant on others, only to have them disappoint you later on. A sick feeling settles in your stomach, but you push it aside. Just this once, you let them in, because even if it would make your departure more painful, this was the happiest you’ve ever been.

From his seat beside you, Namjoon studies you closely as you suddenly fall quiet, pushing your food around your plate. Your expression was neutral, but there was a small downturn to the corners of your mouth, and your eyes looked troubled, full of fear, worry and pain. His eyebrows furrowed in concern, about to ask you what was wrong when you suddenly sit up, a bright smile suddenly replacing the depressed look that was on your face moments ago. Your sudden movement causes Namjoon to flinch in his seat, blinking at you in confusion.

One moment, you looked like you were about to break down into tears, the next, you looked like you were having the time of your life. He feels relieved as you seem to be back to normal, but he can’t shake the feeling that something was bothering you. He keeps a careful eye on you throughout the rest of dinner, and although you seem happy, there are brief moments where your face falls and you suddenly space out with a faraway look in your eyes.

After you space out for probably the fifth time in less than an hour, Namjoon places a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay?” he asks, eyes full of concern when you turn to meet his. “Yeah,” you answer shortly, not going out of your way to assure him like you usually would. “Are you sure?” he pushes, not satisfied with your answer. “Yeah, I just,” you pause, unsure if you should tell him. You were upset in the first place because you let yourself grow attached to them, to him, and you didn’t want to let him in even more.

But one glance at his worried face made your resolve crumble within seconds. “I’m just really going to miss you guys,” you confess, your voice watery as you stop yourself from getting emotional. He frowns, hearing the wavering of your voice. After making you cry at the fan sign, he told himself that he never wanted to see you upset ever again. An idea pops up in his head as his face lights up. “Tomorrow’s your last day, right? Do you have any plans?” he asks. You shake your head, curious as to why he was asking.

“Then how about we all go out tomorrow?” he suggests, looking to the rest of the boys for their input. Everyone nods, immediately jumping up to make suggestions on where to go and what to do. As they argue and throw ideas around, Namjoon takes your hand in his, rubbing comforting circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. “I know goodbyes are always hard, but you shouldn’t let that ruin your remaining time here. We should enjoy every day like it’s our last, and when you know it really is your last, that should be even more of a reason to enjoy it to the fullest.”

You take a moment to fully absorb and register his words, before smiling at him brightly. He was right. You should make the most of it while it lasted, and now you were determined to do just that. “Thank you,” you say with a grateful smile. He just nods and he smiles back, glad that you felt better.

“Y/n!” Taehyung suddenly yells, causing you to jump in your seat. “What would you rather do?” Jimin asks as they present their ideas to you, passionately arguing why their idea is better than the other. You laugh awkwardly as they bicker back and forth, not being able to understand anything they’re saying. “We should do pottery! I want to make a new pot, mine got ruined last time!” Taehyung says. “That’s boring! My idea is so much better!” Jimin tells him. “I want to go bungee jumping again!” Jungkook adds in.

“Yah! Y/n won’t even be here by the time the pottery is finished! And this is about what y/n wants, not you!” Jin says, pointing at Jungkook. “Actually,” Hoseok says, rubbing his chin in thought, “Pottery is a good idea. We could make presents for y/n and we could send them to her or give them to her the next time she visits.”

“We’re talking about what we’re going to do with her tomorrow, not what we can do for her later,” Yoongi laughs at their conversation. “Would you like to just come over tomorrow? There are so many places we’d like to take you to, but one day simply isn’t enough time. And after dinner today, I think it’d be better to stay in the comfort of our own home. But if you’d rather go out we, we don’t mind either, it’s just a suggestion,” Namjoon says. “No, that sounds perfect,” you say happily. Just eating dinner with them was one of the highlights of your day, and you realized that it didn’t matter where you were or what you did, as long as you were with them.

Once everyone was full and all the food was eaten or put away, you all move to the living room, piled on the couch to watch tv. Checking your phone, you notice it’s already 1 am. “It’s pretty late, I should probably head back,” you announce as you stand from the couch. “Give me a minute I’ll call the driver,” Namjoon says, standing as well. “Oh no, it’s okay you don’t have to call him. I don’t want to bother him at this time,” you tell Namjoon as he pulls out his phone. He gives you the same look he gave you when he told you he wouldn’t let you walk back from the karaoke place, and you know there’s no convincing him. You just sigh and wait as he dials their driver.

“It’s already late, why don’t you just sleepover?” Hoseok suggests. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Are you sure-” you were suddenly interrupted by the three maknaes who excitedly jumped up from the couch. “Yeah! Sleepover!” Jimin yells, holding his fists in the air. “Pillow fight!” Jungkook yells, already grabbing a pillow from the couch and smacking Jin with it. You watch as the whole living room breaks into chaos, Jungkook and Jin were smacking each other with pillows while Jimin and Taehyung were chasing Hoseok around the room. Yoongi was still laying on the couch, groaning when someone’s pillow went astray and hit him in the stomach.

Seeing the shocked look on your face, Namjoon assumes you may not want to stay because of how exhausting the boys could be, he would know. “It’s okay if you don’t want to-” he starts, but he’s cut off as you grab a pillow from the couch, turning around and smacking him in the face with it. You laugh loudly, jumping over the couch to get away from him. He remains frozen in surprise, but he snaps out of it when he hears you laughing at him. He grabs a pillow off the couch before chasing after you. You laugh as you run from him, hiding behind Jimin. “Help me!” you yell playfully at him and Taehyung. 

They suddenly stop chasing Hoseok, turning to Namjoon with their pillows. “Don’t worry y/n! We’ll protect you!” Jimin tells you, defensively facing the leader with his pillow. Namjoon cries out a loud battle cry, taking on the two 95′s. You let out a yelp when arms suddenly wrap around your waist from behind, causing you to drop your pillow in surprise. Jungkook lifts you off the ground, pulling you away from the scene. “I got her Hyung!” he yells to Namjoon. “You traitor!” Taehyung yells at him over his shoulder as he fights Namjoon off.

Jin suddenly appears, whacking Jungkook in the face, causing him to let go of you. Jin wasn’t on either team, he was just settling his fight with the maknae. Defenceless without a pillow, you run and crouch behind the back of the couch. Your eyes widen when you find Hoseok also hiding behind the couch before you hide next to him, trying to stifle your giggles. You can hear all the smacks of the pillows as well as their laughter as you hide behind the couch with Hoseok, trying to catch your breath. Hoseok’s eyes suddenly go wide as he yells while pointing at something behind you.

Turning around in surprise, Namjoon pulls you into his chest, falling back onto the couch with you on top of him. He wraps his arms around your waist to prevent you from escaping, as he yells out of breath, “I win!” Everyone drops their pillows, falling onto the floor as they were too exhausted to move back to the couch. You laugh as you look up at Namjoon who was practically panting from working so hard to catch you. He moves one arm from your waist, hitting you lightly over the head with a pillow. “Now we’re even,” he says between breaths. You laugh at his worn out state, accepting the draw.

Everyone collapsed where they were sitting, laying on their backs on the floor. All that could be heard was everyone’s heavy breathing and Yoongi’s snores. You didn’t understand how he could sleep through all of it. Soon, everyone’s eyes started to flutter shut, exhausted from the pillow fight. Feeling the steady rise and fall of Namjoon’s chest, you look up at him to see find him out cold. You giggle before climbing off his chest. You look around the room to find everyone else dead asleep. Even though they said they had a few days off, you have no doubt that they were still working hard even while on a break. You shake your head as you cross the living room, careful not to step on anyone as you make your way through.

You don’t want them to sleep on the floor, but you know you can’t carry seven grown men back to their beds. Instead, you make your way down the hall and open one of the doors. As expected, it was a bedroom. You quickly go in, grabbing a pillow and blanket from each room and bringing it back to the living room. You gently lift each boy’s head, placing a pillow underneath before draping a blanket over them.

Namjoon stirs awake as you lay a blanket on top of him. “Y/n?” he mumbles, opening one eye to look at you. “Sorry, did I wake you?” you apologize. He shakes his head, lifting one side of the blanket up to let you in. You gladly accept his invitation, cuddling up next to him on the couch as he makes sure the blanket covers the both of you. You feel secure as he wraps his arms around you, and you fall asleep as soon as your head hits his chest. Namjoon looks around the room to find everyone sleeping on the floor, and he smiles when he sees that you tucked everyone in. He gently pushes your hair out of your face, placing a feather light kiss on your forehead. “Good night y/n,” he whispers, “I love you.”

Yoongi is the first to wake up the next morning around 10 am. Still half asleep, he moves to the edge of the couch to get up when he steps on something squishy. “Ai!” he yells in shock, his eyes now wide open as he scans the room and realizes that everyone else slept on the floor. Hoseok groans as Yoongi’s foot connects with his stomach, rolling over before falling back asleep.  “Sorry,” he mumbles before getting up, this time careful not to step on anybody. His yelp wakes Jin and Jimin who were now sitting up on the floor. “Why are you yelling?” Jin grumbles while Jimin was still in the process of waking up. 

Namjoon stretches his arms above his head before looking down at you. “Good morning,” he greets you with a smile, gently smoothing down your hair. “Good morning,” you say with a yawn. He chuckles at your sleepy state, gently combing his fingers through your hair. He could get used to waking up to you in the morning.

Taehyung sits up, complaining about his neck. “My neck hurts” he whines while rubbing his neck. Although you didn’t understand what he said, you could guess from his tone and actions that he was sore from sleeping on the floor. “Sorry about that. I didn’t want you guys to sleep on the floor but I couldn’t carry you guys,” you say, feeling guilty. “It’s not your fault,” Yoongi says as he comes back from the bathroom, “It’s their fault for falling asleep on the floor.” You laugh at how merciless Yoongi seemed, but you know he’s an actual softie for all of them, especially the younger ones.

“Where did these blankets come from?” Hoseok asks, getting up. “Y/n went to go get them for you guys last night,” Namjoon tells them. “Thanks y/n!” Jimin smiles gratefully at you, to which you just smile back. You felt like they didn’t have to thank you, it was the least you could do since they slept on the floor because you were sleeping over. “Yah! Wake up!” Jin yells at Jungkook, smacking him with a pillow and finally getting revenge for last night.

Everyone got ready for the day, heading into their rooms to change out of their clothes from yesterday, but you were in the kitchen preparing breakfast since you didn’t bring a change of clothes. “Y/n?” Namjoon calls as he pokes his head into the kitchen. “Hm?” you hum in response. “Do you want to change? You can borrow some of my clothes,” he offers. You were still in your clothes from your date with Namjoon yesterday, and you felt overdressed compared to the rest of the boys who were now wearing casual, comfy clothes. “Actually, yeah, that would be nice,” you answer. “I’ll leave some clothes for you in my room. You can go change in there whenever you’re ready,” he tells you.

You nod even though he can’t see you, “Okay thank you!” You place the knife down and wash your hands before heading into Namjoon’s room. You find a sweatshirt and a pair of sweat pants on his bed, and you take them into his bathroom to change into. You stare at yourself in the mirror once you were dressed. He was much taller than you, so his clothes were big on you and practically engulfed your form. The sleeves went way past your hands, and you had to be careful not to trip on his pants that were trailing the floor. But you didn’t mind, it was soft and warm, and it smelled like him. Smiling at yourself in the mirror, you head back into the kitchen to find Jin and Yoong picking up where you left off.

“You can go join them in the living room if you want, we can handle it,” Jin tells you, but you shake your head. “Can I help you guys?” you ask. The corner of Yoongi’s mouth lifts slightly as he nods. “Of course.” You smile happily before joining them at the counter, helping them prepare breakfast for the rest of the boys. The ones who weren’t cooking set the table and brought the food out. Namjoon freezes in the doorway of the kitchen when he spots you, causing Hoseok to run into his back. His heart skips a beat when he sees you in the kitchen, wearing his clothes. They were a few sizes too big on you, but he swears they’ve never looked better. Seeing you cooking for him along with his brothers, he couldn’t help but imagine settling down with you. Is this a sight he would wake up to every day?

“Namjoon?” Hoseok asks in confusion, shaking Namjoon out of his thoughts. “Oh, sorry,” Namjoon mumbles, clearing his throat. You spot Namjoon when you turn around, and you skip over to him. “Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes! They’re so comfy!” you tell him, having never worn such expensive threads. “No problem. They look good on you,” he says with a smile. You just smile back before helping bring the food to the table.

You spend the rest of the doing various things with the boys. You all played Just Dance after eating breakfast before the maknae line took you to Jungkook’s room to play video games. After playing for a couple of hours, Taehyung pulled you along to his room, showing you his tie collection and some of his favourite outfits. Hoseok also showed you his room and all the figures he’s been collecting. After lunch, you baked a few treats with Jin and Yoongi since they do more cooking than baking, while you did quite the opposite. Despite the little experience they had, the desserts came out great, and you promised to teach them more recipes when you came back. You were currently snacking on the baked goods with the rest of the boys as you all sat in the living room watching a movie.

“What time is your flight tomorrow?” Namjoon asks once the end credits start rolling. “Noon,” you answer shortly, not wanting to think about it. “Can we take you to the airport? So we can say goodbye?” Jimin asks with puppy dog eyes that he knows you can’t resist, although it’s not like you were going to say no anyway. “Of course,” you tell him with a smile.

It was already late, and you had to get your things ready for tomorrow. “I’ll bring y/n back now,” Namjoon announces, standing from the couch. You follow him to the door before realizing, “Wait! I’m still in your clothes.” He places his hand on the small of your back, holding you in place, “It’s alright, you can keep them.” You look at him unsure, but he assures you that it’s okay, “So you have something to remember me by.”

Even though you were going to see them tomorrow, you feel sad as you say goodbye to them before leaving their dorm. And even though you didn’t do anything extraordinary today, it was a day you would never forget. There was something special about staying at home and just enjoying each other’s company. It just felt right. They felt like family, and they made you feel like you belonged. It was ironic, how being away from home, in a different country with people you met two days ago, was the most at home you’ve ever felt. And a certain sadness washed over you when you realized you had to leave it all behind.

You nod, following him out the door. The drive to your hotel is silent, your hand clasped in his as you stare out the window. There was so much to be said, but neither of you were ready to come to terms with the fact that you were leaving. Walking you up to your room like last time, you two stand outside your door to say goodbye. “We’ll come to pick you up around 10:30 tomorrow. The traffic in Seoul can be pretty bad sometimes,” he tells you. You simply nod, not really in the mood to talk.

Namjoon feels conflicted. He doesn’t want to leave you alone when he knows you’re hurting, but he knows there’s not much he can do about it. Seeing that you clearly didn’t want to talk, he just pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back as he comforts you with actions instead of words. He wanted to say so many things to you. To tell you how much he loves you, to make things official. But he couldn’t. He had only met you a few days ago, and you were leaving in a day. So he holds it all in even though his heart is yearning to tell you.

You wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest as you breathe in his scent. Normally, Namjoon could always calm you down. It didn’t matter how big or small the problem was, it felt like he was all you needed. But now, he just reminded you how he was all you needed, but you couldn’t have him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good night y/n,” he says with a tight smile. “Good night,” you whisper before you walk into your room, closing the door behind you. Unable to hold back your tears anymore, you lean back against the door, sliding down until you reach the floor. Bringing your knees up to your chest, you cry. You cry because you don’t want to leave them, you cry because you love him so much, and you cry because it’s not fair. Why were they put in your life, and why did you have to fall in love with him only for it all to be taken away? You always tried to find the good in the bad, but you simply couldn’t bear the pain of leaving them.

When Namjoon arrives back home, the apartment is so silent you would think no one was home. Since the day first met you, they all knew you would have to go back home, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. No one had to say it because they all felt it. Your home was here, with them, with Namjoon, and they didn’t want to see you go.

The next morning, you wake up early to pack your things. You didn’t have the motivation to do anything last night, simply showering before hopping into bed. You pick out clothes to wear before you pack all your things so you don’t have to go back into your suitcase later. You want something comfy for the long flight home. As you look at all your clothes, neatly folded and laid out to be packed, your eyes land on Namjoon’s clothes. They were no doubt the comfiest clothes you’ve ever worn, but on top of that, they smelled like him. There was no doubt you would be missing them the whole flight home, so at least his scent could comfort you on your lonely trip back.

You put on a pair of your own pants since his were impractically long, but you throw his sweatshirt over your head. You pack the rest of your clothes away, finally done clearing the hotel room of your belongings. You know you should eat something before the long flight, but you don’t have an appetite. So once again, you settle for a large cup of coffee. Sitting at the table while sipping on your drink, you hear a knock at your door. 

Looking at your phone, your brows furrow in confusion. It was only 9 am, so they shouldn’t be here yet. You get up to answer the door, opening it to find all the boys smiling at you, holding a few paper bags. “Good morning y/n!” Jimin brightly greets you from behind Taehyung’s shoulder. “Good morning?” you didn’t mean for it to come out that way. You were glad to see them, you were just confused as to why they were here so early. “Sorry, I hope we didn’t wake you up,” Namjoon smiles apologetically. You shake your head, “No, it’s okay. I was already awake.”

He nods before holding a bag he was holding out to you, “We went to go pick up some food from that cafe we went to yesterday. I hope you don’t mind.” Namjoon knew you better than you thought, and he wasn’t about to let you get on a 12 hour flight without breakfast. “Of course not,” you say, opening the door wider for them, “Thank you. Please, come in.” They all walk into your room, placing the bags on your table. Your room was only meant for one, two at most, so the table wasn’t nearly big enough to fit eight people. Everyone was scattered around the room, some at the table, some on the couch, and the rest on your bed.

The morning was quite serene. You guys didn’t laugh or fool around like usual, instead just eating peacefully, enjoying each other’s company and the complete feeling you got only when you were all together. Finishing up, you clear the room one more time before grabbing your luggage. “Okay,” you breathe out, “I’m ready to go.” You pull your luggage down the hall and Namjoon wordlessly takes the handle from your hand, passing it to his other hand before holding your hand. Normally, you would complain and tell him you can handle it, but you allow it this time.

By the time you arrive at the airport, you had about half an hour until your flight. You arrive at your gate, taking a seat on the chairs as you wait for your flight to be called. “So,” Jin starts, “When will you be coming back?” he asks, hopeful that you were planning to come see them again. “You’ll come see us again, right y/n?” Jungkook asks with his big doe eyes. You ruffle his hair with a chuckle, “Of course,” you tell him with a smile. “I’d like to come back as soon as possible, but it might be a while until I can afford another trip,” you say, your smile falling.

“Don’t worry about that, we’ll get you a ticket for our next concert,” Yoongi tells you. “We’ll pay for your flight too!” Hoseok chirps. “What?” you blurt out, “Absolutely not. Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I’m going to let you guys pay for me.” They frown, and you feel guilty for sounding so harsh. “You guys work hard for your money. It’s not fair to you guys,” you say more gently this time.

“But we want to see you,” Taehyung whines sadly. “If it means we get to see you sooner, it’s really not a big deal to us,” Namjoon reassures you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “It’s a big deal to me,” you mumble, looking at the floor. Maybe to them, it wasn’t a lot of money because they had so much of it. But to you, it was a lot. You had to work hard to afford a plane ticket, and they had to work hard too. They were just so used to working extremely hard all the time that it’s not a big deal to them anymore. But it matters to you, and you don’t want them to spend their hard earned money on you, no matter how badly you want to see them too.

“It sounds like you don’t want to come see us again,” Namjoon says jokingly, but there’s a small fear in him, in all of them, that maybe you didn’t want to come back. “No!” you say immediately, not wanting them to believe that for a second. “It’s not like that, I just,” you pause, unsure how to explain how you felt. “It feels like I’m using you,” you admit quietly.

Namjoon wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer so you can lean your head on his shoulder. “We don’t offer to do these things for just anybody. Trust us to know whether someone is using us or not,” he says. “You gave away the one concert ticket you had to a stranger, I’m pretty sure you’re not the kind of person to use somebody for their money,” he adds.

“If you don’t come see us, we’ll just come see you,” Yoongi says, almost nonchalantly, “So it’s better if you let us buy just one ticket for you rather than seven tickets for us.” You laugh at how he could sound so cold when the meaning of his words was so warm. “Please y/n! I really want you to see us perform!” Jungkook begs you like a child asking their mom to buy them a toy from the store. The younger ones saw you like an older sister, and they wanted you to see them perform and be proud of them. You felt your resolve slowly crumbling as the younger three looked at you with such big, pleading eyes.

“Fine,” you say with a sigh, finally caving in. “But you have to let me pay you back eventually. And I’m bringing a whole bunch of presents back for you guys,” you say, stubbornly crossing your arms to let them know it’s non-negotiable. They nod, happy to agree to anything as long as you come back to them. Suddenly, a voice comes over the speakers, calling for you to board the plane.

Namjoon sees the sadness swirling in your eyes as you stand from your seat. They pull you into one last group hug as a few tears escape you, soaking into Namjoon’s shirt. When Namjoon doesn’t let go of you, the others step back, giving you two some space. He pulls away just enough to gently wipe away your tears. He takes your face between his hands, looking down at you with eyes full of nothing but love and fondness as you try your hardest to stop your tears from falling.

He leans in, placing his lips on yours as more tears stream down your cheeks. No words are needed as you can feel all the love and unsaid words between you two through that kiss. You finally break apart, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. “Please don’t cry,” he says, drying your tears again, “We’ll see you soon, I promise.” You nod as the speaker gives a warning for the last call. Giving them one last smile through your tears, “I love you guys, so much,” you tell them. “We love you too,” they return with sad smiles on all their faces, “We’ll see you soon.” You nod, their words planting a new hope in your chest for when you can return. You turn around and start walking towards the gate, not looking back in fear that if you did, you wouldn’t be able to leave. 

They watch your back until you disappear through the door and they can no longer see you. Wordlessly, they all move to the big glass wall to see your plane, hoping to spot you in one of the windows even though they know it’s extremely unlikely. Once your plane has taken off, Hoseok pats Namjoon’s back comfortingly. They were all sad that you had to go, but they knew their leader had it harder than them, so they tried to be strong for him.

As the plane takes off, you stare blankly out the window. Watching the city of Seoul grow smaller as you get farther and farther away. When you can no longer see it, you curl up in your seat, nuzzling into the collar of Namjoon’s sweater. With nothing to comfort you except your memories and his faint scent, your eyes flutter shut, dreaming of the time you can return to Seoul.

Although you wanted nothing more than to be with Namjoon and the rest of the boys, what used to be a sharp pain in your chest has now dumbed down into a dull ache. It wasn’t easy, but the daily texts and frequent video calls got you through it. Some people may not be satisfied with such a relationship, but it meant so much more to you when you knew how busy their schedule was, yet he still found the time for you.

Even though it’s only been a few months, it felt like years since you’ve seen them. But you were finally heading back to Korea for their concert. Their concert was still a week away, but you were arriving early to surprise Namjoon for his birthday. You knew how much they loved food, so you brought a full suitcase of foods that were hard to get a hold of in Korea, along with other more personal gifts for each of the members.

Jin, Yoongi and Jungkook were waiting to pick you up from the airport. All of the members wanted to be there to welcome you back, but they knew they couldn’t or else Namjoon would be suspicious. After a few rounds of rock paper scissors, these three came out victorious. Jin and Yoongi used the excuse of going grocery shopping for Namjoon’s birthday dinner, while Jungkook was supposedly just tagging along to help his Hyungs. After buying said groceries, they were patiently waiting for you to arrive.

It takes you a while to spot them at the airport as they covered their faces with hats, sunglasses and masks, but you could recognize them anywhere. Jungkook’s habit of using random items as weights also helps them stand out quite a bit. You quickly approach them, excitedly waving at them to grab their attention. “Y/n!” Jungkook exclaims when he notices you running to them.

When you reach them, you jump into Jungkook’s arms. You laugh happily as he lifts you up, spinning you around. When he places you down, you bounce over to Yoongi. He raises his hand to give you a wave, but you go in for a hug. He chuckles, lazily wrapping his arms around your waist as he gently pats your back. You turn to Jin, wrapping your arms around his waist as you hug him tightly. “Welcome back Y/n,” he says, patting your head as he smiles fondly at you. 

“I missed you guys,” you say, unable to contain your happiness as your smile stretches from ear to ear. “We missed you too! And so do the others!” Jungkook says, grinning his bunny smile. “Speaking of the others, they’re all back at home. We shouldn’t keep them waiting” Jin mentions, taking your suitcase for you. “Let’s go!” Jungkook says, eagerly pulling you along to the van, Yoongi and Jin trailing behind you with your luggage. In the van, Jungkook excitedly tells you about everything going on, updating you on anything you missed. He seems so excited to surprise Namjoon, almost a little too excited. But you brush it off, assuming he was just happy since it’s been such a long time.

Little did you know, you weren’t the only one with a surprise. Namjoon didn’t know that you were arriving early, however, he was planning on asking you out and making it official whenever you arrived. The boys knew of both your secrets and they were excited to see it all happen.

Arriving at their dorm, you become restless as Yoongi unlocks the door. Even though you guys kept in touch while you were gone, it’s been so long since you’ve seen him that you had millions of butterflies in your stomach. Seeing your nervousness, Jin gently nudges you forward through the doorway. You stand by the front door, hidden behind Jin’s broad shoulders as Namjoon pokes his head into the hallway. “You guys are back,” he observes, walking over to help them carry the bags in. 

His brows furrow in confusion when he sees the suitcase in Jin’s hand. “You brought a suitcase?” he asks in confusion. “And one more thing,” Jin says with a smirk as he steps aside to reveal you. You give him a small wave, “Happy birthday Namjoon!” you say with a bright smile. His eyes go wide, and he remains frozen in his spot until he realizes that this isn’t a dream; You’re finally here. “Y/n!” he says, finally snapping out of the shock before he takes big strides towards you, pulling you into a warm hug.

He buries his face in your hair, breathing in your scent to make sure you’re really here. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, nuzzling into his chest. “I missed you so much,” he breathes out. Hearing Namjoon call out your name, the rest of the members come tumbling down the hall. “Y/n!” Jimin and Taehyung call out. You peek over Namjoon’s shoulder to see the two 95s racing towards you.

You open your arms for them and they gladly run into your arms. “You’re finally here!” Hoseok says from behind them. “You guys knew about this?” Namjoon asks. “No, we just decided to stop by the airport today and happened to see y/n,” Yoongi says sarcastically. Namjoon chuckles before wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, placing a chaste kiss on your lips. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he says with a smile, staring into your eyes. You giggle at the dazed look in his eyes before Yoongi grabs your sleeve, pulling you out of Namjoon’s grip and into the kitchen.

“You guys can be in love later, y/n needs to help us in the kitchen,” Jin says, trailing behind you and Yoongi. “Wait!” Hoseok calls out, causing Yoongi to pause and look back at him, “She just got back. She must be tired, let her rest.” Your heart is warmed by the concern in Hoseok’s voice, forgetting just how caring they were.

“It’s okay! I’m not tired at all,” you reassure him with a bright smile, “Namjoon’s birthday only lasts a day and I’m already late. Sleep can wait!” you tell him before pulling Yoongi and Jin into the kitchen. Hoseok frowns, still concerned for your health, but their worries are soon washed away when they see just how much energy you have. You were smiling and laughing happily the whole time, practically bouncing around the kitchen. Your body probably was tired and jet-lagged, but the only thing you could focus on was how happy you were to be back.

As Jin and Yoongi prepare dinner, you start making batter for Namjoon’s birthday cake. As promised, you came back with more recipes for them to try, including a cake recipe. Once the cake was baked and cooled, you go to search for the maknaes. Hearing them yell at their video games from down the hall, you knock on Jungkook’s door. “Jungkook?” you call. You hear some shuffling before he opens the door, Taehyung and Jimin sitting on the floor behind him with controllers in their hands. 

“Do you guys want to decorate the cake?” you ask, knowing that Jungkook was quite the artist, and Taehyung was interested in art as well. “Yes!” Taehyung excitedly jumps up from his seat on the floor in front of the television. They hurriedly turn the console off, throwing their controllers onto Jungkook’s bed. You chuckle as they scramble to clean up. “Just come to the kitchen when you’re done, I’ll go get everything ready,” you say as you walk back to the kitchen.

You see Namjoon leaning on the wall next to the kitchen, waiting for you. He tries to follow you into the kitchen but you block his path. “I love you, but you can’t come in. It would ruin the surprise!” you tell him as he pouts at you like a sad puppy. “We’ll be done soon, I promise,” you tell him as he reluctantly goes back to the couch with Hoseok. It was rare to see the childish side of Namjoon come out, as he always felt like he had to be a responsible leader around the members. Watching your interaction, his Hyungs were glad that he found someone like you, someone he could relax and be himself around.

You have Jimin and Taehyung help you construct the cake, spreading the icing on each layer of cake before stacking them on top of each other. Meanwhile, Jungkook practices piping designs and writing with a piping bag full of icing. Jimin meticulously works on the cake, making sure the cake was stacked perfectly and the icing was smooth. Taehyung eventually went to go bother Jin and Yoongi while they were cooking, trying to get a bite of food before dinner.

Jungkook piped the edges and the base of the cake beautifully, finishing it off with “Happy birthday Namjoon!” on the top in neat letters. You hold the fridge doors open for him as he places the cake inside, smiling proudly at his work. You give all of them a pat on the head, praising them and thanking them for their help. They bask in your praise before heading into the living room. “Do you guys need help?” you ask Jin and Yoongi, but Yoongi waves you off. “You worked hard, go rest,” Yoongi tells you, remembering Hoseok’s words.

The exhaustion of the flight was starting to catch up to you, so you nod, walking out of the kitchen. You sluggishly enter the living room where Namjoon was sitting on the couch watching Hoseok and the maknaes play a board game around the coffee table. Seeing you enter the room, Namjoon motions for you to come over. Seeing your exhausted state, he lays down on the couch, pulling you onto his chest. You snuggle into his chest with a content smile, already being lulled to sleep by the warmth radiating from him.

He places a light kiss on your head. “Take a nap, you deserve it,” he whispers as he strokes your hair, making you fall asleep instantly. He can’t help but stare as you sleep peacefully on his chest. It reminds him of the last time you spent the night here when you all fell asleep in the living room and you were laying with him just like this. It just felt right, your bodies fit together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle.

Even though the boys are quite loud as they play, yelling whenever they roll an unwanted number, you somehow sleep through it all. You must’ve been so tired and Namjoon didn’t want to wake you up, but you had to eat. He gently shakes you awake, “Y/n,” he calls out quietly, “Dinner’s ready.” You sit up, rubbing your eyes as you let out a yawn. “Come on sleepyhead,” he says as he places his hand on your lower back, guiding you to the dining table.

You take a seat, still half asleep, but as soon as the delicious smell of the food hits your nose, you snap awake. Looking at everything on the table, you turn to Jin and Yoongi. “Everything looks so good!” you tell them, suddenly bright and energetic. Everyone laughs at how your mood can change so suddenly simply because of food, but then again, who doesn’t love food?

You enjoy a meal together, catching up on everything you missed during the few months you were back home. Once everyone is done eating, you get up to bring the plates back to the kitchen, but Hoseok stops you, placing a hand on your shoulder and gently pushing you back into your seat. “You already cooked, we’ll clean,” he tells you with a smile. “But I didn’t cook!” you stubbornly argue back. Yoongi rolls his eyes at you from across the table, “Whatever. You helped in the kitchen so you don’t have to clean.” 

You stick your tongue out at him, wanting to help when another idea pops into your head. “I’ll go get the cake then!” you announce as you stand from your seat once again, but this time Namjoon pulls you back down. “You baked the cake, they’ll get it once they’re done the dishes,” he tells you. You pout in your seat, but Namjoon just chuckles, patting you on the head. “Just relax babe,” he tells you, causing you to get flustered by the pet name. You turn your head away from him, pretending to be mad when you were really just trying to hide your red cheeks.

“I’d tell Namjoon to go get the cake, but knowing him, he’d probably drop it!” Jin says, laughing loudly. Yoongi smirks, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair. Once the other boys stacked all the plates and bowls in the sink, Jungkook takes the cake out of the fridge as Jimin and Taehyung grab the plates and forks. Hoseok places the candles on the cake, lighting them before motioning for Jungkook to bring the cake to the table as he follows him out with a knife to cut the cake.

Jungkook walks out with the cake, and you all start singing happy birthday. Jungkook places the cake in front of Namjoon, and he stares at you as he makes his wish before blowing out the candles. Everyone claps once he blows out all the candles, and Hoseok cuts the cake and distributes a slice to everyone. “Mmm!” Jungkook says, taking a bite of his slice, “It’s good!” You giggle at him as he has icing on his face “Thank you,” you laugh out, wiping the icing off his face, “You guys did a great job decorating it!”

As everyone enjoys the cake, Namjoon places his hand on your thigh, looking at you with a fond smile. “Thank you for the cake, and for everything. This has been the best birthday ever,” he tells you as he leans in to place a kiss on your cheek, “I love you.” You smile at him when pulls away. “Happy birthday Namjoon,” you say, “I love you too.”

It was finally the day of the concert, and it was finally the day Namjoon would put his surprise in motion. He almost couldn’t wait and was going to surprise you the day you arrived, but he planned everything out and he wasn’t going to let his eagerness ruin it. 

Everyone was doing their own thing, relaxing before heading out for the concert. You were sitting on the couch with Taehyung and Jin, watching an animation. Namjoon pokes his head into the living room. “Y/n?” he calls out. “Hm?” you turn to the hallway. “Can you come here for a second?” he asks. You nod, hopping off the couch and following him into his room. He fidgets nervously as you take a seat on the bed.

“What’s up?” you ask casually, swinging your legs on the edge of the bed, staring up at him with innocent eyes. He clears his throat awkwardly before he takes a seat beside you. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this since the day I met you, but you had to leave too soon, so I thought it would be better to wait,” he starts. “I love you y/n, and if you want to, I’d like to make it official,” he says, pulling out a necklace from his pocket. It was a simple silver chain with one ring on it. “Will you be my girlfriend?” he asks with a hopeful look on his face.

You’re taken aback, staring into his eyes before you snap out of it, smiling as you nod happily. He smiles back at you before leaning forward, clasping the chain of the necklace behind your head. He gently lifts your hair from under the chain, and your face starts to burn at the close proximity of his face. Staring deeply into his eyes, you lean forward, closing the space between you two. You feel him smile into the kiss before leaning back just enough to stare into your eyes.

He reaches into his shirt, pulling a necklace out from under his collar. “I have a matching one. I know things are a little complicated right now, with you having to go back home. But one day, when we sort everything out, I’d like to put this ring on your finger,” he says with a smile. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly. “I love you so much,” you whisper. He rubs your back, smiling as he says, “I love you too.”

You walk back into the living room with Namjoon to finish the film you were watching with Jin and Taehyung, only to find all the boys waiting on the couch. “Did you ask her?” Jungkook asks excitedly. Namjoon nods, taking your hand in his. “She said yes,” he tells the boys with the brightest smile. All the boys jump up from the couch, cheering as they surround you two for a group hug. Namjoon’s success put everyone in a good mood for the rest of the day, and all preparation for the concert went smoothly.

Standing in the front row of their concert, you watch as they perform, doing what they do best. When it comes to an end, they take a moment to talk to ARMYs and tell them how much they love them. Suddenly, the camera focuses on Namjoon as his face appears on the big screen. “I love you!” he yells, pulling his necklace out as forms a finger heart with his thumb and index finger, holding the ring between them. No one else paid it a second thought, but you knew it was meant for you. Not caring that he couldn’t hear you, you yell back from the crowd, “I love you too!”

A few months ago, you would have never imagined that giving your ticket to a stranger would lead to you meeting the love of your life. But the necklace hanging around your neck and the promise it held was enough for you to know that you were where you were meant to be.

you sleep on the couch because of an argument

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

WC: 1.5k

<series masterlist>

tag list: @yzkyzkuniverse

You sigh as you roll over for the tenth time in the past hour, unable to find a comfortable position alone in your bed that was meant for two. It was the fourth night in a row that Namjoon wasn’t coming home at all, and the hole in your heart was growing every day. 

Even on the nights that he did come home, he would have to carry your sleeping body from the couch to the bedroom because it was so late that you had already fallen asleep, no matter how hard you tried to stay awake for him. You never got to spend more than a few minutes awake with him before you both were falling asleep or he was leaving for work again the next morning.

It wasn’t always like this. Even with his busy schedule, he used to manage coming home five times a week, and he often had time to squeeze in at least one date on the weekends. But as he started to work on more songs for other artists or groups like TXT, you started to see less and less of him. You knew it was his job, but you thought he was spreading himself too thin. But despite his heavy workload, Namjoon still managed to send you daily text messages, wishing you good morning, asking if you’ve eaten or how you’re day is going. 

But today you didn’t respond, the short messages just reminding you of what your relationship has become. Turning your phone on silent, you bury yourself back into the blankets, hugging his pillow tight to your chest. Lately, he’s been sleeping in his studio or his shared dorm with the boys because it was closer and more convenient, but when you stop responding to his messages, he starts to get worried about you.

“Y/n?” Namjoon calls out as he walks in through the front door. He asked to leave early today to check up on you and came home as soon as possible. Even though that ended up being 11 pm, it was still earlier than usual and it was better than not coming home at all. When he’s met with nothing but silence, the worry in his chest only grows. He checks the living room and the kitchen and still no sign of you. 

It’s only when he pops into the bedroom that he finds you, curled up in bed with your back turned to him. He lets out a sigh of relief, wiping away the sweat on his forehead caused by worrying about you and running all around the house. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” he asks when he sees your phone lying next to you on the nightstand. You only confirm his suspicions that something is wrong when you ignore him.

When you refuse to answer him, he walks around to your side of the bed, crouching in front of you. “Hey,” he says gently, reaching out to cradle your face with one hand. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” he asks, concern lacing his voice. You only glare at him as you ask coldly, “You’ve actually come home today?” Namjoon frowns at your cold response, but he should have known this was what you were upset about. 

“Listen y/n,” he says with a sigh. “You know I love you but my work is important. You can’t just expect me to drop everything for you,” he tells you as if he’s explaining something to a child. “I don’t expect you to drop everything for me Joon!” you try to tell him. “I just want to see my boyfriend for more than a few minutes a week, is that too much to ask?” you ask frustratedly. 

“Yes, it is!” he yells back equally as frustrated. “You don’t understand how busy my schedule is,” he says lowly. “Yeah, well you did that to yourself,” you mumble under your breath. Namjoon furrows his brows at you but he decides against asking you what you mean. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. When I come back, we can talk, okay?” he tells you. You just scoff at him, rolling over on the bed and turning your back to him. Standing from his crouched position, he sighs in defeat. Yes, you were still mad at him, but at least he knows you’re okay.

Once you hear the bathroom door close and the shower start running, you finally let out the tears you’ve been holding in. You missed him so much and the one time he comes home, you two are upset at each other. You weren’t asking for much. You two didn’t even have to do anything but sleep and maybe eat dinner together when he comes home, you just wanted to see him more.

Crawling out of the bed, you grab an extra blanket and pillow from the closet before heading into the living room and getting comfortable on the couch. You couldn’t bear seeing him right now as it only reminded you of the fact that you would always come second because work and music come first.

As the hot water runs down his back, Namjoon replays your words in his head. He did this to himself? What did you mean? It wasn’t like he was trying to overwork himself, but music was his passion and if others asked for his contribution in their songs, why wouldn’t he? But maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to start working on a new song while they were in the middle of their own comeback.

He starts to see what you meant when you say he did this to himself and he asks himself, When was the last time he came home? And when was the last time you two really spent time together? The more he thinks about it, the more he starts to understand why you were so upset and you had every reason to be. He hasn’t seen you in so long and it was no one’s fault but his own. But he got mad at you for asking your own boyfriend to come home just a little more often.

While drying himself off and getting dressed, he tries to think of how to make it up to you. But when he exits the bathroom and walks into the bedroom, you’re gone. The ruffled blankets were the only sign that you had been there at all, and the fear of you leaving suddenly seems too real. 

All his apologies and ideas are suddenly lost to the thought of losing you, fear and panic start pumping through his veins as he frantically searches the whole house for you. When he finds you in the living room he lets out a breath of relief, but he knows he still has a lot to fix. Taking a seat on the couch, Namjoon settles in next to you, taking a moment to organize his thoughts into words. You don’t move away, knowing you have nowhere to run.

If you really wanted to leave, you could have slipped out while he was in the shower, but a part of you wanted to sort everything out so you stayed. “I’m sorry y/n,” he starts off with a sigh, “I got carried away and I didn’t realize how much work I’ve taken on until it became too much to handle,” he admits. “And I know I’ve been a pretty shitty boyfriend lately but please,” he begs, voice breaking slightly with emotion, “Let’s not go to sleep angry at each other.” 

Your heart aches at the guilt and sadness in his voice, and your resolve slowly crumbles when you see how upset he was too. You thought you were the only one hurting because Namjoon seemed so unaffected, but he had just been too busy to realize his own feelings. Being apart has taken a toll on both of you, but at the end of the day, you still loved each other very much.

Moving closer to him on the couch, you lean your head on his shoulder as you take one of his hands in yours. “It’s okay Joon, I know you’re trying you’re best and I shouldn’t have ignored you,” you murmur. Namjoon just shakes his head at your unnecessary apology because he was never mad at you in the first place. He simply wraps his arms around your figure, pulling you into his lap.

“You must be tired, let’s go to bed?” you ask as you run a hand through his damp hair. He nods and the two of you head to the bedroom hand in hand. “I guess I have a lot of missed cuddles to make up for huh?” he chuckles as he holds you close under the blankets. “Yeah, you do,” you agree with a laugh as you cuddle further into his arms. “I love you y/n,” he whispers into your hair, “More than anything in the world.” Your lips curl into a small smile as you whisper back, “I love you too Joon.”

he forgets your birthday

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

WC: 1.6k

<series masterlist>

tag list: @awinkies @wedarkacademia​ @yiyi4657​

Resting your cheek on the palm of your hand, you anxiously stare out the window beside your table, hoping to see Namjoon round the corner any second now. You two had planned to go out for dinner for your birthday but Namjoon hadn’t shown up. He was supposed to meet you here after work but it’s now an hour past your established meeting time and Namjoon was still yet to be seen.

“Can I get you anything, Miss?” you turn away from the window to find the waiter smiling at you sympathetically. Mustering a small smile, you shake your head at him. “My date’s just running late. Can I wait a little longer?” you ask. “Of course!” the waiter assures you. “Let me know if you need anything,” he tells you as he walks off to serve other tables.

Taking out your phone from your purse, you send Namjoon another text asking him where he is and if everything’s okay. Placing your phone on the table with a sigh, you take a sip from your glass as you turn back to the window, hoping he’ll be here soon.

But during that small interval of time that you turn away from the window, Namjoon speeds past your table, slamming on the brakes of his bike when he reaches the front entrance. Hurriedly climbing off his bike, he begins to lock it up as he reaches inside the front basket to retrieve your gift. But it’s not there.

Panic washes over him when he doesn’t feel your gift as he moves his hand around the basket, leaning over it to look inside. Searching through the small basket, he confirms that it’s missing. Namjoon curses under his breath, pulling his cap off and running a hand through his hair. Did it fall out on the way here or did he forget it at the studio?

He shakes his head knowing he doesn’t have time to waste, he was already an hour late. Instead, he hops back on his bike, heading back to the studio. Biking back the way he came, he keeps an eye out for it on the ground. And if he doesn’t find it on the journey back, he can only pray he left it in his studio.

You continue to wait for him but when it’s been nearly two hours since the time you were supposed to meet, you finally accept that Namjoon isn’t coming. Standing from your seat, you cringe at the loud noise your chair makes as it scrapes across the floor. You send the waiter an apologetic look, thanking him for trying to keep you company and taking care of you while you waited for your date, only for him not to show.

He waves off your thanks, smiling at you pitifully. You try your best to smile back but he could see the pain in your eyes and he can’t help but form a distaste for whoever your date was despite never meeting him. You keep a smile on your face as you walk through the restaurant, your shoulders immediately drooping as soon as you step out the door. 

You felt hurt and humiliated that Namjoon stood you up, but more than that, you were disappointed that he forgot. You can’t hold back your tears any longer, ignoring the questioning looks you get as you walk back home sobbing, too focused on the pain in your chest and how to make it stop.

Bursting into his studio, Namjoon frantically searches around the room for your gift. Throwing the cushions off his couch, he turns around and spots your gift box sitting on his desk by his computer. Face palming at himself for forgetting the one thing he was supposed to bring in the most obvious place, he grabs the box before dashing out of the room.

By the time Namjoon arrives back outside the restaurant, he’s out of breath and panting from the back and forth trips. Clambering off his bike, he leans it against the wall, not even bothering to lock it up before hurrying into the restaurant. “Good evening sir, do you have a reservation?” the waiter greets him as he walks in. “Yes,” he says between heavy breathes, “Sorry I’m late, I have a reservation under the name y/n.” 

As soon as the waiter recognizes that as the name your table was under, he frowns. So this was the guy who stood you up, he thinks as he looks Namjoon up and down. “I’m sorry sir but the lady who was under that reservation has already left,” the waiter informs him, immediately causing Namjoon’s face to fall. 

Your waiter swore that if your date ever showed up, he would be sure to give him a piece of his mind. But as he sees the guilty look on Namjoon’s face, his anger fades. He can tell that he never intended to hurt you and he finds himself feeling sympathetic towards the out of breath and distraught man standing in front of him. 

“She only left about ten minutes ago, maybe you can catch up to her,” he encourages him. Namjoon immediately perks up, bowing and thanking the waiter before rushing out the doors and jumping back on his bike. Ignoring the burning in his legs, he pedals as fast as he can, desperate to catch up to you and make things right. 

But the closer he gets to home, the more worried he gets when there’s still no sign of you. What if something happened to you while you were walking home? He starts to panic before he turns the corner, spotting your figure further ahead. Letting out a breath of relief, he speeds up, calling out your name. “Y/n!” he tries to get your attention but you keep walking, acting as if you can’t hear him.  

He stares at your back in confusion when you don’t respond, but as he gets closer, he notices your shoulders rising and falling from your sobs, immediately causing his heart to sink to his stomach. With you ignoring his calls, he has no choice but to go around you, stopping in front of you and blocking your path home. Stopping in place, you wrap your arms around yourself tightly as you try to contain your sobs, not wanting him to see how upset you were. 

“Y/n,” he mumbles as he stares at you sadly. He can feel his heart cracking when he sees the heartbroken state in which you’re spending your birthday because of him. Climbing off his bike, it falls to the side as he rushes towards you, engulfing you in his embrace. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, bringing one of his hands up to cradle the back of your head, letting you cry into his chest. He whispers soft apologies into your ear, combing his fingers through your hair to soothe you.

Balling the material of his sweater tightly in your hands, your tears soak into the fabric as you allow him to comfort you. No matter how much you wanted to be upset with you, your heart yearned not to be alone, and it yearned to be with him. Once you start to calm down and your cries are reduced to small sniffles, he pulls away but still keeps you at arm’s length, gently wiping away your tears with his thumbs.

You stare at him with big eyes, silently demanding answers for his tardiness, but he simply smiles before turning around and grabbing something from the basket of his bike and hiding it behind his back. You give him a questioning look as he walks back to you, pulling out a box from behind his back and presenting it to you. “Happy birthday y/n!” he says with his dimple smile.

You stare at the box with furrowed brows before moving your gaze back to his face. “What’s this?” you ask in confusion, thinking that he forgot about your birthday. “It’s for you!” he tells you as he urges you to take it. “For me?” you ask, still unsure. “Of course, silly,” he laughs at the confused look on your face, but his heart feels heavy with guilt for letting you think he actually forgot your birthday.

“I’m sorry I was so late,” he apologizes as you take the box from his hands. “I was actually there earlier but I kind of forgot your gift in my studio so I had to go back and get it,” he admits sheepishly as he plays with his hands. You laugh as he explains what happened as it was definitely something Namjoon would do, “It’s okay Joon.” He smiles, embarrassed but glad that you were smiling. 

“Your birthday’s not over yet, what do you want to do?” he asks you. You hum, trying to think of what to do. It was too late to go back to the restaurant as your reservation was two hours ago and you both were too exhausted to do anything else. “Do you just want to order takeout and go home?” you ask to which he answers, “Sounds like a plan.”

Bringing your takeout into the living room, Namjoon lets out a sigh of relief as he falls back onto the couch. “I can’t feel my legs,” he groans out. “Then next time make sure that you have everything you need before you leave,” you giggle as you hand him his food. The two of you spend the rest of the night in your apartment, eating takeout and watching movies and you realize that you don’t need to go out to a fancy restaurant or receive any gifts for your birthday, all you want is to spend it with Namjoon.

he calls you clingy

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

WC: 2.1k

<series masterlist>

tag list: @awinkies @yzkyzkuniverse @wedarkacademia @yiyi4657 @scuzmunkie

Blindly feeling around the other side of the bed in search of Namjoon, you let out a disappointed sigh when you open your eyes only to find you’re alone. You sit up, staring blankly at the clock that reads 7:00am. You often wake up around this time because Namjoon has to leave early for work and even though he’s not here right now, you’ve already grown accustomed to his schedule and it was nearly impossible to fall back asleep without him by your side.

Due to their approaching comeback, Namjoon has been staying at the dorms for the sake of convenience. You understood how busy they were and although it was completely logical for him to stay with the rest of the boys, you haven’t seen him in a few days and you were starting to really miss him.

You always wonder if he’s getting enough rest and if he’s eating well. You know Jin, Yoongi and Hoseok take great care of the boys, but they don’t have time to cook while they’re preparing for a comeback. And although they’re grown men that are capable of taking care of themselves and they have a team of staff to take care of them, you can’t help but worry.

You decide to cook some food and bring it to the company building to surprise them and make sure they’re all doing well. After all, there’s nothing like a home-cooked meal. Throwing the blanket off your body and placing your feet on the floor, you make your way to the kitchen, already thinking about what ingredients you have and what you can make.

When you finish making everything, you smile proudly at your hard work before packing it all up and by the time you finally get in the car and start driving over to HYBE, it’s already late afternoon. Arriving at the company building, you struggle to carry all the bags of food as you hurriedly knock on the door to their practice room. Looking up at the sound of you knocking, Jimin lets out an excited gasp when he spots you standing in the doorway. “Y/n!” he exclaims as he moves from his spot to help you but Jungkook beats him to it, racing towards you and gladly taking the food from your hands. 

Everyone comes over to welcome you and help carry all the bags. “You brought food? You’re the best!” Jin smiles as he ruffles your hair. You playfully swat his hand away as Hoseok appears beside Jin, trying his best to smooth down your hair that Jin just messed up before taking the last bag from your hand. As the boys unpack the food, you approach Namjoon who’s standing off to the side deep in thought.

You pull him into a hug, nuzzling into his chest affectionately but he simply pats your back a few times before stepping back. You furrow your brows at his strange behaviour, tugging on his sleeve lightly to stop him from walking away. “Is everything okay?” you ask gently. He nods at you but you’re not convinced. “Are you sure?” you keep pressing, “You can talk to me.” 

You know how as the leader, he sometimes feels the need to shoulder all his burdens alone, but you didn’t want him to feel that way with you.“I just,” he pauses as he lets out a deep exhale, “I just need some space.” He tries to word it in the nicest way possible but he doesn’t miss the hurt expression that flashes across your face. “Oh,” you let out but you’re quick to cover your hurt and disappointment with a smile, “Of course. Let me know if I can help, okay?” He simply nods before turning his back to you and walking towards the rest of the members.

It stings a bit when your own boyfriend seems to be the least excited one in the room to see you. There was no reason to be hurt, you try to convince yourself as you trail behind Namjoon, he was simply communicating himself and his needs. As everyone settles into a circle on the floor around the food, you sit down next to Namjoon, trying to make simple conversation. When he asked you for space, you thought that he just didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering him and he would be fine to spend some time together before he had to go back to practicing.

But he simply lets out a sigh when you ask him how practice is going before reaching for some food, completely ignoring your question. You frown, feeling hurt by the way he brushes you off but you try to act unaffected. Missing his touch, you wrap your arms around his torso as you lean into his side, expecting him to wrap an arm around your shoulders like he usually does. But to your surprise, he brings a hand between you two to create some distance. “Didn’t I ask you to give me some space? You’re so clingy sometimes,” his mouth immediately snaps shut, instantly regretting his words but he knows he can’t take them back.

But you miss the regret in his eyes as you stare down at your lap, sheepishly apologizing. Everyone immediately takes notice of how your face drops and you suddenly become quiet. They’ve all had their moments where they’ve said some things they don’t mean. But they know that no matter how much Namjoon tries to push you away, the one he needs the most right now is you and they can only hope he doesn’t push you too far.

You were hurt by how unaffected by the distance he seemed to be and how it seemed as though he wanted to be away from you. It was so hard to hold yourself back since you’ve never had to before and because you’ve been away from each other for so long. But his words and the cold tone he used towards you act as a harsh reminder that stops you from slipping up again. Trying your best to muster a smile, you stand from your spot on the floor. 

“Are you leaving already?” Hoseok pauses mid-chew. “But you always eat with us,” Yoongi comments, subtly trying to convince you to stay. “I ate before I got here so it’s okay,” you lie but they can see right through you. “But y/n,” Taehyung whines, looking up at you with pleading eyes. “Why don’t you stay? We’re almost done and after practice, we can watch a movie or something,” Jungkook suggests. Although you know being alone with your negative thoughts probably won’t do you any good right now, you’re hesitant to accept the offer.

But the pleading glances and puppy dog eyes they send your way convince you to stay. Nodding in agreement, they all let out cheers of excitement before they start shovelling food into their mouths, trying to finish sooner so they can head back to the dorms to spend time with you. You laugh at their eagerness, telling them to slow down or else they’ll choke. 

When practice for the day is over, the maknaes are quick to drag you out of the room, yelling over their shoulders for their Hyungs to hurry up. Sitting next to you in the car, they seem to be competing for who can make you laugh and smile the most, but you’re grateful as they don’t even give you a chance to feel sad. Walking into the dorms laughing and joking with the boys, they tell you to make yourself comfortable as they race up the stairs to take a quick shower and change into something comfier.

About 15 minutes later, you hear footsteps padding down the stairs before Hoseok rounds the corner, “Y/n?” You turn to find him walking into the living room with a sweatshirt in his hands. “Here. The house is kind of chilly,” he says as he extends the sweatshirt to you. You take it gratefully, slipping it on and snuggling into the soft fabric. It wasn’t the same as Namjoon’s sweaters as it was lacking his comforting warmth and scent but you were grateful nonetheless.

Everyone makes their way downstairs looking extremely comfy in their pajamas. Sitting on the other couch across the room from you, Namjoon can’t help but smile fondly as he looks at you and the maknae line piled up on one couch. Watching you interact with all his members, he knows there’s no one else better for him than you. You cared for them just as you cared for him and he felt comforted knowing that you would always be well taken care of, if not by him then by them and vice versa.

He was in a sour mood earlier when he snapped at you but he’s in a significantly better mood after being surrounded by all of you simply relaxing and having fun. But as the movie plays, the exhaustion from being awake since early morning starts to set in and you have to fight to keep your eyes open. Noticing you nodding off, Namjoon moves to take you to bed but he stops when your head falls on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook looks down at you when he feels a weight on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around you to steady you when he notices you’re asleep. 

Namjoon can’t help but frown as he stares at you, wearing Hoseok’s sweatshirt and cuddling into Jungkook’s side. He trusted all of you completely but he couldn’t deny that seeing you like this bothered him. He was your boyfriend. He was the one that you were supposed to go to when you needed something; a sweater to keep you warm or a shoulder to lean on. Getting up from the couch, Namjoon walks over to you and Jungkook, placing one arm underneath your back and the other hooked under your knees. The maknae simply shrugs as Namjoon carries you away, immediately turning his attention back to the television screen.

Climbing up the stairs as quietly as he can with you in his arms, Namjoon nudges the bedroom door open with his foot before walking into the room. You let out a soft noise of complaint, peeking one eye open. “Sorry, did I wake you?” he asks as he gently places you down, keeping his hands on your hips. You shake your head as you rub at your eyes. “Go get ready for bed,” he pats you on the hip a few times, gently urges you towards the bathroom. Obeying without much complaint, you make your way into the connected bathroom and do your night routine before returning to the bedroom. 

Walking back into the room, you stop in front of Namjoon who’s sitting on the edge of the bed with one of his sweatshirts in his hands. Wordlessly, he lifts your arms up, pulling Hoseok’s sweater over your head before slipping his own over you. Once he’s done, he pulls you down onto his lap, rolling the two of you over so you’re laying on your sides. You snuggle into his chest as he pulls the covers over the both of you, opting to stay quiet as the last time you tried to ask what was wrong, it didn’t go too well. 

Understanding that you probably aren’t keen on talking since he shut you down last time, he takes it upon himself to speak first. “I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I didn’t mean to call you clingy, I was just stressed but I thought I could handle it on my own so I pushed you away,” he explains, making sure to communicate himself properly this time. Your gaze softens as you see the guilt and regret in his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” you ask as you raise a hand to gently stroke his cheek. 

He places his hands over yours, leaning his face into your hand. He closes his eyes, shaking his head, “I just want to hold you for a while.” Smiling softly at him, you place a kiss on his lips before wrapping your arms around his torso and cuddling into his chest. “I’ll always be here for you, as long as you want,” you tell him. Tightening his hold on you, he whispers, “Then I guess you’ll be here forever.”

he makes you insecure

Namjoon x f!reader

Genre: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

WC: 3.5k

<series masterlist>

taglist: @awinkies @wedarkacademia @yiyi4657 @astralandcosmos @scuzmunkie  @mooonlitstars @manchuria @joondiary​ @ygimsgw @yoongititss @hopestastic

“You look handsome,” you smile at Namjoon as he enters the room, clad in a suit with a tie in his hand. “And you look beautiful as always,” he smiles as he approaches you and bends down to place a kiss on your forehead, holding out the tie for you. You wordlessly take it from his hand as he stays bent over so you can wrap the tie around his neck. 

Even though he has many stylists, Namjoon refuses to let anyone else but you do it unless you weren’t able to. The group was attending another American award show and even though you couldn’t sit with him at events like these, you were still able to attend and support him from the audience. Going up on your tippy toes, you place your hands on his shoulders for support as his arms come to wrap around your waist.

“Good luck,” you wish him before pecking his lips, smiling into the kiss, “I’ll be cheering for you.” Leaning down to steal one last kiss from you, Namjoon flashes you his dimple smile before joining the other members so they can walk out together.

Sitting in the audience, although you wish you were by Namjoon’s side, you try to enjoy the event as much as possible on your own, singing and dancing along to the performances. It’s during the small break between awards and performances that you take the time to look around the venue at the crowd, noticing that it mostly consists of ARMY. 

But you get startled when the crowd suddenly starts screaming. Trying to find out what everyone’s screaming about, you turn to see Namjoon talking to Halsey, an American singer that they were going to be collaborating with, although it hasn’t been publicly announced yet. 

Since he can speak and understand English the best, Namjoon befriends and works with many celebrities from around the world, especially female celebrities. And even though you trust him completely, sometimes, you can’t help but feel inferior to them. You can’t sit with him and all the other celebrities for obvious reasons, so when you see him talking to Halsey, leaning in extra close so he can hear her over all the noise, a wave of jealousy washes over you.

That night, you go home alone. The group planned to go to dinner with Halsey so they can discuss the collaboration and although Namjoon invited you to tag along, you declined because you thought it would be inappropriate and didn’t want to interfere or distract him from work.

Sitting against the headboard, you scroll through your phone as you wait for Namjoon to come home. You can’t seem to escape the events of tonight as posts about BTS and Halsey flood your explore page. Many of the posts were speculating about what they were talking about and if they would be collaborating. 

But many posts were talking about how good Halsey looked with Namjoon. And as you scroll through social media, you can’t help but agree. You get so caught up scrolling through all the posts that you don’t hear the sound of the front door opening and closing, your name being called, or the approaching footsteps.

It’s only when Namjoon opens the bedroom door and pokes his head inside do you snap out of it. “Y/n?” he calls out in confusion, slightly startling you as your phone slips from your hands and falls into your lap, “Is everything okay? Did you not hear me calling for you?” Turning off your phone before he can see what’s on your screen, you smile sheepishly at him, “Sorry, I guess I got distracted.”

Namjoon frowns slightly, noticing your strange behaviour so you quickly try to change the subject. “Go wash up so you can tell me all about how dinner went,” you wave him off with a lighthearted smile. You hate the way your heart drops when you see the way Namjoon’s face immediately lights up at the mention of having dinner with Halsey but you force yourself to keep a smile on your face.

It seems to be enough to settle his concern because he obliges, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Once you hear the sound of the shower running and Namjoon singing in the shower, you pick your phone back up. You can’t help but smile as you listen to him sing. He must be in a really good mood and you have a feeling it has something to do with the events that occurred tonight.

Namjoon comes out of the bathroom rubbing his hair with a towel. You beckon him over, having him sit on the edge of the bed as you kneel behind him, taking the towel from him and gently drying his hair. He relaxes into your touch, closing his eyes as a content smile forms on his face. “So, how was the dinner?” you ask as you rub his hair with the towel. 

“Ah, it went really well,” he says, relief bleeding into his voice. He had told you about how he was worried they wouldn’t be able to communicate well because although they had a translator, he was afraid they wouldn’t be able to connect if they used one. So Namjoon took it into his own hands to practice his English so he would be able to communicate with Halsey on his own, only asking the translator for help when he needed it.

“I think we were really able to connect and get to know each other. She really gets along with the rest of the group even though they can’t understand each other as well,” he tells you. “Really? That’s great!” you tell him, genuinely happy for all of the guys since you know how much it means to them. “Yeah,” he says breathlessly, “She’s really kind and understanding. She even got all of us gifts! Do you want to see? I left them in the living room.”

You laugh at his adorable excitement, but you can’t help but feel slightly saddened by his reaction to Halsey’s gifts. He never seems this excited about your gifts. “You can show me another time. But right now, you need to go to sleep, you have an early morning tomorrow,” you remind him as you throw the towel by the foot of the bed and climb into your side. 

“Right,” he chuckles, realizing he got a little too excited as he climbs into bed beside you. “I’ll bring you to meet Halsey sometime. I think you’ll like her a lot,” he tells you as he wraps his arms around your waist. “Yeah,” you breathe out, smiling sadly, “I’m sure I will too.”

Namjoon comes home with new stories to tell you about what he and the group did with Halsey every day, completely oblivious to the way it’s slowly breaking your heart. You know that Namjoon would never do anything to intentionally hurt you and you don’t have the heart to tell him how you really feel. Not with the way he seems so happy talking about Halsey. All you can do is smile and pretend your heart isn’t breaking into pieces with every word he says.

It’s during the last day of filming that Namjoon brings you to the set with him and you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. She was still a celebrity and just hearing about how great she was through Namjoon was enough to make you feel insecure. Meeting her was just an opportunity for you to see with your own eyes how much better she was than you.

Hand intertwined with yours, Namjoon leads you over to the rest of the group and Halsey who are getting their makeup and hair done. Hoseok is the first one to notice you, excitedly greeting you with a bright smile, “Hey y/n!” The maknaes’ heads all whip in your direction at the mention of your name before they’re jumping from their seats to greet you with a hug. “Hey guys,” you giggle as you try to wrap your arms around all three of them but ultimately fail.

They begrudgingly pull away and go back to their seats when Seokjin scolds them for always making the makeup artists’ lives so hard. You laugh at the way they sulk and pout but you suddenly freeze when you notice Halsey approaching you. “Hey Namjoon!” she greets him with a smile before turning to you, “And you must be y/n!” You nod as you bow slightly, giving her a shy smile. “Halsey, this is y/n, my girlfriend,” Namjoon says as wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into his side, “Y/n, this is Halsey.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you tell her as you hold a hand out to shake. “It’s my pleasure!” she says as she pulls you into a hug instead, “I’ve heard so much about you!” Namjoon’s cheeks redden slightly as he scratches the back of his head. “I’ve heard a lot about you too,” you tell her, returning her excited smile. 

No matter how much the mention of Halsey made you feel inferior or insecure, finally getting to meet her and talk to her, she’s nothing but kind and sweet. You can’t find any reason to hate her, in fact, you really like her and you two even exchanged numbers. But seeing how perfect she really is, you can’t help but think that besides looking good with Namjoon, she really is perfect for him. She’s a beautiful person, inside and out, and she’s of the same status so she can understand Namjoon in a way you can’t.

While sitting and waiting for everyone’s hair and makeup to be done, Halsey’s manager calls her and Namjoon over to record a video of them doing their handshake. Watching the way they smile and laugh with each other, you can’t deny the strong bond between them despite only spending a few days together, and you can only imagine how much that bond will strengthen and possibly bloom into something more as they spend more time together.

Saddened by the reality of it all, you can’t help but draw back, awfully silent during the day. It was the last day of filming and Halsey would be leaving Korea soon after. You try to keep your distance because you’re not sure how much longer you can fake a smile and you know that if anyone were to notice your sadness, they would drop everything to make sure you were okay. But today was about Halsey and you didn’t want to ruin her last day.

Keeping your eyes on the ground, unable to handle watching Namjoon with Halsey anymore, you don’t notice the concerned glances Namjoon shoots your way every chance he gets. The other members and even Halsey are worried about you but no one ever gets a chance to talk to you for longer than a few minutes between sets.

No matter how many glances Namjoon steals at you hoping that you’ll feel his stare and meet his eyes, he’s met with nothing but the top of your head. He’s concerned by your distant behaviour and he can tell that whatever’s bothering you has been bothering you for a while. He wonders how he failed to notice something was wrong but he doesn’t dwell on the past, already planning on talking to you and sorting things out.

“Boy with luv!!!” the boys yell happily at the very end of the music video. You look up as you watch Halsey run up to them, hugging each member tightly and offering them a bright smile. Your heart clenches when she saves Namjoon for last, hugging him the longest as they sway side to side. The staff clap and cheer as BTS bows to them, thanking them for their hard work. You clap for both the staff and the group, a small smile on your face as you watch everyone celebrate finally finishing up filming of the music video.

As respectfully as he can, Namjoon thanks the staff before jogging over to where you’re standing to the side by yourself. “Hey,” he greets you, leaning against the wall as he catches his breath. “Hey,” you smile at him softly, “Good work. You guys looked great.” He smiles in thanks, expecting you to give him a hug or a kiss to congratulate him like you usually do but you remain in place, your arms protectively wrapped around yourself.

Noticing your defensive posture, Namjoon decides against getting into your space unless you initiate first. “Is everything okay?” he asks worriedly, staring into your eyes as he tries to discern what’s wrong. Turning away from him and hiding away from his intense gaze, you hesitate to answer him. You know that he knows something is bothering you and even though you could lie about what was bothering you, the concern in his eyes makes you want to tell him the truth.

But you’re also afraid. You had no real reason to be upset about his relationship with Halsey. Namjoon would never even think of cheating, and Halsey had no ill intentions. She was kind and friendly and you couldn’t blame her for gravitating towards Namjoon, especially because he was the one she could communicate best with. What would he think if you told him how you felt? Would he think you’re too insecure? Or would he too agree that you could never compare to Halsey?

You could berate yourself and compare yourself to Halsey all you wanted in your mind. But to tell someone how you’ve been feeling and have them confirm that yes, she was much better than you, especially from Namjoon, the one you love the most, you don’t think your heart could handle that. You have this faraway look in your eyes and Namjoon can sense your inner turmoil. 

Placing a warm hand on your cheek to pull you out of your thoughts, Namjoon looks at you with big eyes. Gently cradling your face in his hands to make you look at him, Namjoon’s eyes convey everything he wants you to know. That he’s here for you and he loves you no matter what. And that’s all you need to decide to tell him the truth. But the moment you open your mouth to speak, Namjoon’s name is called from across the room.

You both look over to find Halsey waving you guys over. “Hey, I was wondering if we could take a quick picture on the set together?” she asks Namjoon. “Oh, yeah, of course,” Namjoon says with a smile. “Do you mind taking a picture of us, y/n?” Halsey asks, holding out her phone to you. Unable to form any words, you simply nod with a smile as you take her phone from her hands.

Namjoon and Halsey stand side by side in front of the yellow couch, crossing their arms to pose for the picture. Snapping a few photos, you hand the phone back to Halsey so they can look at them. “These look great! Thank you so much y/n!” she pulls you into a hug. Pulling away from you, she gently nudges you towards Namjoon who’s already waiting for you with open arms. “Your turn!” she says excitedly.

“Oh, no it’s okay, there’s no need,” you say breathily as you wave your hands in front of you. “Nonsense! Come on, you guys look so cute together!” she insists. “Really, I look like a mess right now,” you say jokingly but your smile doesn’t each your eyes. “What are you talking about? You’re gorgeous!” Halsey reassures you but you can’t help but feel like she’s pitying you.

Namjoon’s face falls at how opposed you are to taking a picture with him and his arms drop back to his sides. He can see the insecurity swirling in your eyes and he wants nothing more than to reassure you and wash away all your insecurities. 

But just as he’s about to reach out for you, Seokjin comes over. “Hey, you guys coming?” he asks as he motions behind him where everyone else is waiting. They had planned to go out for dinner with Halsey to celebrate and say goodbye before she leaves for America, and she made sure you were planning on coming as well. But you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold back your tears and fake a smile. The three of you follow Seokjin back to the group but you tug on his sleeve to stop him.

Seokjin hums as he turns around to find you with your head down. “What’s wrong?” he asks worriedly. “I’m not really feeling well. I think I’m gonna have to pass on dinner. Tell Halsey goodbye for me, okay?” you try to muster a smile but it’s all wobbly and wrong. Seokjin turns his head back and forth between you and Namjoon in panic. Something was clearly wrong and he knew Namjoon would be able to help you best, but he also knew that you were coming to him and not Namjoon for a reason.

Before he can ask you what’s wrong, you’re already walking away, trying to slip away unnoticed. You don’t see the way Namjoon casts a worried glance over his shoulder as he watches you walk away. He jogs over to Seokjin, asking, “Where is y/n going?” Seokjin knows something must be wrong since you came to him instead of Namjoon and although he wants to respect your privacy, seeing how desperate Namjoon is to fix whatever’s going on, Seokjin gives in. “She said she’s not feeling well so she’s going home.”

Namjoon’s body moves before his mind can even register what’s happening, yelling over his shoulder to Seokjin, “Tell Halsey ‘bye’ for me!” before running to catch up to you. “Y/n!” you hear your name being called from somewhere behind you, freezing when you immediately recognize whose voice it is. Not wanting him to see the tears streaming down your face, you keep your back turned to him, his harsh breathing the only thing that could be heard.

“Y/n,” he repeats, more composed this time, “Please tell me what’s wrong.” When you don’t respond, Namjoon slowly walks around in front of you, thumbing at your cheeks when he notices your tears. You only cry harder at the action, causing him to pull you into his chest, one hand resting on your lower back while the other comforting strokes your hair. He doesn’t say anything, letting you cry it out and get your thoughts together.

When your cries reduce to hiccups and sniffles, he pulls away just to look you in the eye. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he assures you, “But please don’t forget that I’m here for you.” Namjoon looks at you with so much love and care, breaking your resolve and making all your defences crumble. “I just,” you choke on your words as another sob makes its way up your throat and Namjoon gently pats you on the pat, murmuring in your ear to breathe and take your time.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, you bury your face in his chest. “Why are you with me?” you ask, voice watery and sad. “What?” Namjoon pulls away to look at you, confusion clear on his face. “Because I love you,” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Where is this coming from?” You shrug, looking to the side to avoid his gaze, “It’s just, you could do so much better. Someone like Halsey. She’s talented and kind and beautiful. Someone like her would be much better suited for you than someone like me.”

Namjoon frowns, wondering how long you’ve been feeling like this and how he didn’t notice. “Hey,” he whispers gently, “Look at me.” You hesitantly turn your face back to him, looking at him with big, watery eyes. “Halsey is talented, and kind and beautiful,” he starts, ”But you are the most talented, most kind and most beautiful girl in the world to me. It doesn’t matter if hypothetically, someone may be better suited for me if I don’t want anybody else but you.”

Tears are streaming down your face by the time Namjoon finishes his heartfelt confession and he can’t help but chuckle at how adorable you look trying and terribly failing at holding your tears back. “You have nothing to worry about, okay? I love you and only you, and that will never change,” he promises, sealing it as he leans down and presses a tender kiss to your lips to express all his feelings that simply can’t be expressed through words.

Not So Silent Night

Genre: Quarantine Romance, slight Enemies To Lovers, Neighbors AU, Fluff, slight Angst

Pairing: Namjoon/ Reader

Warnings: none

Synopsis: Namjoon hadn’t intended to spend much time in his tiny apartment. And then a pandemic broke out. Now he’s stuck dealing with his noisy neighbor, you.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon thought he was in the clear that Wednesday night. He'd heard the opening and closing of your front door, the clink of your keys in the lock, and the rustle of the groceries in your arms. He knew it was your Friday, which meant you'd usually turn on music while you cleaned your tiny apartment, or a play a movie on full blast while you devoured an entire pizza yourself.

It was nearly 9 pm and he hadn't heard a peep from you, not even the true crime podcast you sometimes put on. Namjoon, unlike you, had worked from home for months now. Even though most of his time at work was spent in his private studio, he had nearly an identical set up in his apartment.

He was still working, albeit, not on the songs he produced for other artists, but on his own. He'd just started editing the melody when heard the familiar bass chords of "What Makes You Beautiful". It was your favorite song to torture him with. Namjoon had nothing against the British boyband you seemed to love so much, that was until you started them playing them loudly at odd hours.

Namjoon sighed, pausing his work and rubbing his temples. He really needed to save up for a good pair of noise canceling headphones, although he wouldn't find it surprising if you somehow managed to invade his eardrums right away.

He tried to continue working, turning his headphones all the way up. Yet, all he could focus on was the way he heard the familiar bass line restart when the song ended.

Namjoon groaned and threw his headphones onto his desk. He'd only moved into this tiny apartment because the rent was cheap and he hadn't intended to spend much time in it. Then, a pandemic hit and suddenly, Namjoon was confined to four menacing white walls with the only company being his noisy neighbor, you.

He waited a half hour before he walked down the stairs to your apartment. Even though the city was under quarantine, the apartment building was snug and it was nearly impossible not to come into contact with each other. Securing his mask over his ear, he knocked on your door.

"Yes?" you asked, answering the door as if you'd been expecting him. You, too, had just finished looping the mask around your ear. It was a bright polka dot pattern that distracted Namjoon long enough that he managed to speak before noticing that your oversized T-shirt made it look like you weren't wearing shorts.

"Can you please keep it down, Y/N? It's the middle of the week for me and I have a Zoom call at 8 am tomorrow."

"That sounds like your problem," you said, leaving your door open as you tied the top of the trash bag you'd been getting ready to take out when Namjoon knocked.

A glint of annoyance passed over Namjoon's eyes and even from under your mask he could make out your familiar smirk from the way your eyebrows rose.

"Do you even own headphones?" he asked, crossing his arms. He didn't notice the way your eyes swept over his biceps and chest with his movement.

"They hurt my ears," you said, shrugging. Grabbing the trash bag by the tied top and heading back for your front door. "Now, be a doll and take this out for me? My legs hurt from work."

Namjoon looked at you with his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He didn't say anything as you shoved the bag into his hands.

"What? Why are looking at me like that?" you paused, dialing down your attitude for a moment. "Listen, if you do this, I'll turn it off so you can get your beauty sleep."

He watched as you reached up and pat his shoulder. Your nail polish was chipping and the gleam from your gold promise ring dulled. His eyes traced as your hand left the fabric of his T-shirt and came to the doorknob of your front door.

"Goodnight Namjoon," you said, shutting the door.

Namjoon stood in the hallway, his lips parted and a small breath. He scoffed as the familiar bassline blasted from your apartment.

✦✧✦✧

You'd had a long day. Work was keeping you at least an hour over every day and you felt your feet ache as slipped off your shoes. Even though you just wanted to fall into bed, you changed and washed your hands first, doing your best to feel clean before your skin hit the sheets. As a Pharmacy Technician, you were essential, and even if most of your job was counting pills and performing customer service, right now it was harder than ever.

With only ten hours until you had to be at work, you ordered food and eyed the laundry that was beginning to spill over the edge of the hamper like waves over a jetty. You sighed, taking out your phone and putting on music. You gathered up your clothes and laundry soap. Pocketing your keys and a handful of quarters dug out of the bottom of your purse, you made your way to the basement laundry room.

You let the music play. While you weren't particularly trying to get your tall neighbor's attention, or get on his nerves, like you usually were, you secretly hoped you'd get to catch a glimpse of his signature white T-shirt against his bronzed skin.

Loading your clothes into the shared washer, your phone began to ring and your boyfriend's face flashed across the screen. He was smiling widely in the picture, his hair swept back by the coastal breeze. At one point, it had been your favorite photo of him. Now, it just felt like a sweet apple that turned out to be poison.

You ignored the call and poured the detergent into the machine. Inserting the quarters, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. You'd heard his feet on the stairs enough, that you recognized the soft one, two pattern as he made his way downstairs.

"I think the whole complex knows you're a fan of One Direction now," Namjoon said, coming into view. His hands were empty, having obviously come down purely because of your disruption.

"So be it," you said, starting the machine and glancing down as the music stopped and your phone rang again. You frowned as you rejected the call.

Namjoon noticed, his brow furrowing as his eyes glanced down at the phone in your hand. "You should've answered. At least you'd be less of a bother."

The two calls and the exhaustion weighed you down and felt yourself drifting below the surface. "I'm really not in the mood right now, Namjoon. Maybe tomorrow."

His sarcastic smile faltered. "If you don't want me to bother you, then don't play your music so loud." He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles becoming more prominent as the fabric of his T-shirt stretched to accommodate the new position. You had no idea how he stayed so toned with the apartment gym shut down and such a small apartment.

"Maybe you should invest in earplugs."

"Maybe you should invest in headphones."

You scoffed and headed back upstairs, not feeling the banter. Your neck and shoulders were tense and you just wanted to finish your laundry and pass out for the night.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon didn't think much of your sour mood. It was obvious that it extended beyond him since you rejected the phone call. He stood in the laundry room for a few moments and watched your laundry spin around in the washer.

He remembered back to the week before when you forced him to take out your garbage. A thought crossed his mind and he wondered if a good prank would lift your spirits.

With most coin operated washers, the doors locked right after the money is inserted and the washer starts. The ones at your apartment complex, however, had a loophole. Hitting the coin return button a few times, the quarters you'd entered fell into the coin return and the machine slowed to a stop.

Waiting a few moments to make sure you weren't coming back, he opened the door and took your wet clothes out of the dryer. He pocketed the coins, reminding himself to use them for your clothes later. Setting them on top of the washer, he rushed up to his apartment and grabbed his own laundry, starting it.

✦✧✦✧

The timer went off a half hour later. You were halfway through eating dinner but paused to go switch loads. You knew between your boyfriend' incessant calls and the hour long drying cycle, you were not going to get to sleep any time soon.

Shuffling down to the laundry room, you didn't even bother to throw on music this time. The heaviness in your eyes wouldn't be cured with Harry's sweet voice as usual.

Opening the door to the washer, your clothes were not there. A stroke of panic ran down your spine as your eyes darted across the row of washers, wondering if you had gone to the wrong one. All the other doors were open. You felt a stirring in your stomach as your mind raced with what to do.

"Lose something?"

You turned to see Namjoon coming down the stairs, carrying a laundry basket full of your wet clothes. Your heart beat out of your chest, your vision went black as your mind processed the sight.

"What the fuck, Namjoon?" you asked, yanking the basket from him. Tears came to your eyes as you looked down at the sopping wet clothes.

Namjoon's eyes widened at his words, having expected a snarky quip from you, he released his grip on the basket easily. Fishing for the quarters in his pocket, he held them out to you.

"God, I'm gonna get absolutely no sleep tonight," you said, shoving your half washed clothes back into the washer.

"Y/N?" he asked, his voice soft. "What's wrong?"

Once you'd restarted the washer, placing your body physically in front of it to block Namjoon from tampering with it once again, you eyed him.

"I'm only gonna get a few hours of sleep," you said, your voice surprisingly level. "My work clothes are in there." You leaned back against the washer, sighing as you looked down at the time on your phone.

"I-I'm--"

"Save it, Namjoon," you said. "Listen, I know we have this sort of relationship where we mess with each other. But, I'm really not in the mood for it tonight."

Namjoon tried to move towards you, but stopped himself, unsure of exactly what he was going to do or how he could help. He'd never seen you like this before. Dark circles around your eyes, your hair stringy and tousled from running your hands through it, and your posture so tense. Even though the lower half of your face was covered with a bright green mask, he could still make out your frown behind the fabric.

"Just le--" You were cut off by your phone's vibration.

Despite Namjoon having caused your distress, whoever kept calling you made your brow furrow and eyes water in a way that left Namjoon wanting to answer the phone and find out what they had done to you.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "Who keeps calling you?"

Glancing down at the washer it had now moved onto the second cycle, you ignored. Meeting Namjoon's eyes, it hurt your chest to see the concern in them. After seeing you like this, after getting annoyed with him, he still worried about you.

"Just leave me alone, Namjoon."

✦✧✦✧

It was midnight on Wednesday night when the sound of yelling overtook the melody in his headphones. At first, he didn't think much of it. Many couples lived in the complex, and an occasional fight wasn't uncommon. Then, he heard your voice.

✦✧✦✧

"Jae-ho, what are you doing here? I told you you couldn't come."

"I just want to see you, baby." There was a softness in his voice, but it didn't reach his eyes. You'd been dodging his calls and texts for the past few days, hoping he would get the hint.

"Not until your test comes back negative," you said. "Plus, we really shouldn't be seeing each other that much. Especially since I'm still working."

Your boyfriend let out a long sigh and moved to walk inside. You blocked him, shutting the door slightly and wedging yourself in the gap. This only made him more frustrated, his hands reaching out to touch you.

You let him, allowing his hand to brush your own. You knew it was unlikely your boyfriend would get a positive result, his exposure limited and brief. But you couldn't risk it.

"Are you not scared of spreading it to me? To anyone?"

"I don't have it, babe. I've told you."

"You were still required to get tested. And since I see so many vulnerable people at work, I can't risk it." This wasn't the first time this was an issue. You'd been tested twice already. You job required you to come into contact with people all day, and more than a few confirmed cases had come through your pharmacy.

Jae-ho had had an issue those times too. Coming over when you'd told him not to, calling you until he got sick of dialing your number. You weren't sure how much longer you could take this.

"Are you cheating on me?"

The question lingered in the air as your mouth fell open in shock. Did he think that was the only reason you could not want to see him?

"No, of course not! I'm trying to protect you, Jae-ho!"

"I know you like that neighbor of yours. You still see him, don't you? Why do you see him and not me?"

"We're neighbors! This complex is so tiny, we can't help it!"

Your voice and his gradually rose with your emotions. You barely remember what either of you said after that, you only remembering sliding the promise ring off your finger and flinging it down the stairs.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon walked down the stairs when he heard your door slam. He came upon your boyfriend, scoffing at your door. When he met the other man's eyes, Namjoon's immediately narrowed.

"Of course," Jae-ho said. He shook his head and walked down the stairs, pausing at the next landing. He bent down to retrieve something and Namjoon stopped focusing on the other man, reaching up to knock on your door.

Namjoon's knuckles didn't even make contact with your door before he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Jae-ho stood a few steps down and held out the gold promise ring you always wore.

"Give this back to Y/N," he said. "I don't want it either."

He handed Namjoon the ring before turning around and leaving for good.

✦✧✦✧

"Y/N?" Namjoon's voice cut through the dark silence of your apartment. You'd everything outside, but not realized that it was Namjoon Jae-ho was talking to. "Are you okay?

You opened the door. You tried to wipe your tears before Namjoon could take in your figure, but it was fruitless. When your eyes met his, you saw his heartbreaking at the sight of you.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Namjoon said, waiting for you to give the okay for him to enter your apartment. You knew that there was no hiding from Namjoon. The two of you literally lived on top of one another and saw each other almost daily when you did the laundry or took the trash out. There was nearly no way to avoid Kim Namjoon for long.

You moved aside and closed the door behind him. Flopping down on your bed, you looked up at him. "Sorry if we woke you up."

Namjoon shook his head. "You didn't."

"Sorry to interrupt your work then," you said, feeling like you owed the man an apology for more than just this one night. "I didn't mean for it to escalate like that."

Namjoon didn't say anything. He glanced around your apartment, sensing the way that his eyes on you made you uncomfortable.

"You don't need to apologize," he said. "For anything."

You stayed silent, hugging a pillow to your chest.

The silence wasn't tense, but it wasn't calm either. There was something lingering between you. Something keeping Namjoon in your apartment after making sure you were okay. And something that allowed you to let him in at all.

"You know, whenever I was upset or I had trouble sleeping. My mom would always make me milk and cookies. It seems counterintuitive that something sugary helped me sleep. But it never failed."

Namjoon left for his apartment for a moment, coming back with a package of chocolate chip cookies and two glasses of milk. He handed you one of the glasses and sat the package of cookies down beside you.

"Is it okay if I stick around? Just in case your boyfriend tries to come back," Namjoon said. He knew his explanation was flimsy. It was obvious when the man left that he did not intend on coming back.

"Yes," you said, reaching to pull out a cookie and dip it in the milk. "I'd like that."

The two of you ate in silence. Silence rarely occurred when you saw Namjoon, no matter how much he may want it to, but now, you could tell by the tension in his shoulders that it worried him.

"You know, I kinda look forward to hearing you every night," he said. "Lets me take a break from my work. Means I get to come see you."

You chuckled, smiling for the first time that night. "Why do you think I was always loud?" The crunch of a cookie filled your pause. "I knew you would always come complain."

✦✧✦✧

"I have a present for you, Y/N," Namjoon said.

It was the holidays now. Your family was far away and none of you wanted to get on a plane. It saddened you that you wouldn't be able to see your family, but Namjoon had become your solace. He'd usually hear when you got home and about ten minutes later, he'd appear at your door, asking what you were having for dinner that night. Most of the time, you ate together.

It was just like all those other nights, except you didn't have to work the next morning. Namjoon had met you by your door, takeout in hand, and a backpack slung over his shoulder.

Namjoon reached into his backpack and pulled out a wrapped package. The paper was a bit wrinkled, indicating he'd wrapped it himself. It made you smile.

"Oh, wait," you said, getting up and walking to the closet where you pulled out a similarly wrapped package. You handed it to him and looked down at his gift for you.

Tearing off the paper, you laughed when you noticed it was headphones. They were expensive too, which made your stomach turn thinking that he spent so much money on you.

"Open the box," he said, a smug smile on his face.

You ripped open the box, finding crumpled up paper. You felt around until you felt a thin object. Pulling it out. you found a CD.

"It's a mixtape. For you." Namjoon's eyes wandered around the room. "I--uh--hope you'll play it like you do One Direction."

You flung your arms around him, but he stopped you. "There's something else."

You looked down at the box quizzically before you began pulling out the paper. Reaching inside, you felt what you immediately recognized as a ring. Thoughts ran through your mind as you pulled it out.

It was your promise ring from Jae-ho, shinier than when you had last seen it. "He wanted me to give it back to you. But, I knew it might be painful. I had it cleaned and engraved for you."

You turned the ring to see the engraving on the inside: Be Loud - KNJ

At That Place

Genre: Exes AU, Exes To Lovers, Slight Coffee Shop AU, Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

Warnings: none, more of a drabble than a one shot

Synopsis: You run into your ex at the coffee shop you both used to frequent.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"You still come here, too?" a voice behind you asked. You immediately recognized the voice as your ex-boyfriend, Namjoon. 

"It still has the best cup of tea in Seoul." 

The truth was you had avoided the place for the first three months after the break up. But, after another failed relationship and a few more months, you no longer thought it would be awkward if you ran into Namjoon. 

That was until you realized he looked even better than when you were together. His hair was a light pink now and he wore a jean jacket that made you want to do nothing more than rip it off. 

"Miss?" the barista queried after you hadn't stepped forward. 

"Sorry," you said, shaking the boy from your head. However, just as you were about the order, he stepped forward. 

"Still have the same order?" 

You nodded and he ordered your favorite milk tea as well as his plain one. He paid and you stepped off to the side. 

"You really didn't have to do that," you said, pulling out the cash to pay him back. 

He knew refusing you would be pointless so he took the money from you and stuffed it into his pants pocket. 

"Just like old times." He smirked and you couldn't help but roll your eyes slightly. You remember how on every date you would insist on paying him back for your portion of the meal. 

You two find a table, unconsciously gravitating towards the end booth you two always used to claim for hours as you kept Namjoon company as he wrote songs.  

"So how have you been? Working on a new comeback?"  

"As always." 

The barista brought each of your teas and smiled as she walked away. You took the opportunity to sip your tea and escape the awkwardness for a few moments. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

It was funny Namjoon ran into you. You'd been on his mind as of late. All those songs he wrote about you when the two of you were together, they were just getting to in their comeback schedule.

You looked good. Better even. He couldn't lie, he'd occasionally check your Instagram and Twitter, kept tabs on you. The break up had felt like a mistake as soon as he had said the words six months ago. 

"You cut your hair," he said. 

"Oh yeah," you said, instinctively reaching up stroking the ends of your hair. "I'm not sure if I like it yet. But it certainly makes it easier to get ready in the morning." 

He smiled. You always used to ramble when you were nervous. 

"It looks nice." 

It certainly made all those lines about your long hair awkward now. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"So, how're the members? I haven't seen then, well, since, you know..." 

"Good," he said. "We're all a bit stressed with the comeback and all. I'm sure they'd love to see you if you ever wanted to stop by the studio. We could play you some stuff from the new album." 

You looked down at your half-gone tea and twisted the straw around the cup. 

"Maybe," you said. "I'd love to see them, but I got a promotion and my schedule has been hectic lately." 

Namjoon smiled. "Congratulations on the promotion."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You don't how you got on the topic, but all the prior awkwardness began to melt away. 

"God, that was the worst decision I ever made. I should've never let Hoseok and Jimin persuade me to take dance lessons with them. I could barely walk the next day!" 

Namjoon laughed, his smile caused your stomach to rumble happily. You wished it would stop. He had broken up with you, he broke your heart, you knew you shouldn't still feel this way about him. 

"They still said I was better than you." 

You bit you lip and playfully kicked him under the table. 

His smile soon disappeared into a frown, but the look in his eyes made you want to lean across the table and kiss him until you were both out of breath. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed when he found out you had a new boyfriend a few months after the break up. But that was why he broke up with you. You needed someone with a normal life. Someone that wouldn't get swarmed by fans and cameras on dates and someone who wasn't so into their work they would sometimes forget their girlfriend. 

He'd also be lying if he said he wasn't a little happy when your status switched back over to "Single".  Ultimately he wanted you to be happy, but there was a selfish part of him that wished you would take him back. He wondered if you still went to that tea shop in Insa-dong. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"I should really be going," you finally said, after the conversation had gone on for an hour. You had finished your tea twenty minutes before, but you had hated to leave just when the conversation had finally lost its awkward quality. 

"Me too," Namjoon said, picking up the remainder of his tea. "The members will be wondering where I go to." 

He held out his hand and you took it expecting a polite handshake. But as soon as your hand touched his, you felt something slip into it. When he pulled his hand away, you found the money you had given him earlier and a note that read, 

"You know how to contact me. :)"

Inhibition

Genre: Choreographer!Reader, Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

Warnings: none

Synopsis: Namjoon needs help loosening up and getting out of his head when dancing. You decide to take him to a club.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You waited outside the door of the practice room patiently. You couldn't believe for your first in the field training would be with actual idols, let alone BTS.

The lead choreographer opened the door and motioned for you to come in. You walked in and bowed politely to the idols. They returned the formality before sitting down cross legged on the floor.

"Boys, this is Y/N. She'll be teaching you the choreography for next week's special stage. This is part of her graduating project at the university, so please take this seriously."

The choreographer nodded when he knew they understood and politely wished you luck and left the room.

vVv

"All right, uh, first, I'll show you everything once through so you can get a good idea of what everything will look like."

You pulled out an IPad and showed them the choreography as performed by you and a few other students. With variation by member, it was much easier to show them the dance cohesively at first and then work individually with each member. At least, that's what you hoped.

You pointed out the positioning of each member with a pen, so that each member could easier learn their part.

"All right, let's work on everything from the hook to the bridge," you said.

vVv

After the first day, the boys had nailed the beginning part of the song. You were quite impressed with their progress. They only had a week to learn the choreography before the performance and at the rate they were going, they would have plenty of time to fine tune everything beforehand.

You packed your things into your duffel bag, ready to fall into bed as soon as you got home. Due to all day dance practices, your only homework was to record the experience. Something you fully planned on doing afterwards.

"Excuse me?" a voice said, accompanied with a knock on the door frame.

You looked up and saw Namjoon ducking shyly into the room.

"Yes?" you asked.

"I'm sorry to bother you, especially as you were leaving, but I was wondering if you could go over the choreography with me? I'm not very happy with how my part turned out today."

"Sure, Namjoon," you said. You'd noticed that Namjoon was a bit stiff during some of the moves or hadn't quite grasped all of them. However, you weren't overly concerned because they were easy mistakes to correct once he learned all the choreography. Of course, you'd corrected all the boys on the larger things, but they were all used to dancing by now that most of the mistakes were small ones. "What particularly were you concerned about?"

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"Namjoon!"

You couldn't help but laugh as he made the same exact mistake as before, even though you'd corrected it and shown him how to do it multiple times.

"All right, uh, watch me again."

You repeated the move and sighed a Namjoon once again did the move incorrectly. Well, it was technically correct, but the move looked awkward and stiff. You thought for a moment, before rushing back over to your bag and pulling out a mask and a baseball cap you kept in there in case your hair was too greasy after dance practice.

"Put these on and wait here," you said.

You went to the bathroom and changed into a pair of black joggers, a cool graphic crop top, and a jean jacket. You were thankful you had brought a decent change of clothes that day, at least one you could go out in.

Entering the practice room once again, you noticed Namjoon had listened to you and wore the mask and baseball cap.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"You're going to learn to lose your inhibition."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Somehow you managed to charm your way into the club and made your way onto the crowded floor.

"I don't think this is the best idea," Namjoon said. "I could get recognized and then we'd both be in trouble."

You took his hands and led him out deeper towards the middle of the dance floor. The gesture took him by surprise and shut him up momentarily.

"Come on, dance! Don't think about it, just listen to the beat and do whatever feels natural."

You swayed your hips to the beat and danced the way you originally fell in love with you. There was still a part of you that just loved to let loose and dance, not worry about choreography or even the lines looking perfectly, just letting the beat tell you how to move.

You felt Namjoon's eyes watching you intently, but ignored it as you continued to dance. You should be used to people watching you dance by now, but something about the way he watched you made a shiver run down your spine.

Eventually, he gave in and joined you. At first, he was still slightly awkward and stiff, but after a few more songs he began to loosen up. You teased him slightly by showing off and moving in ways he couldn't.

After a couple hours, you were exhausted and you could tell Namjoon was too based on the way his hair laid against his forehead and his eyelids drooped.

"Come on, let's go back."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"It's late," Namjoon said, once you were out of the club. "Why don't you just come back to the dorm with me?"

You were a little taken aback.

"You didn't sneak a drink in there, did you?" you asked, trying to play off the question.

Namjoon sighed. "Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I--" He sighed again, taking hold of the bridge of his nose. "We have to be back in the studio in a few hours anyway. I just thought it might be easier to go back together."

You smiled. "That's thoughtful, but I wouldn't want to intrude on the members, or accidentally cause a scandal."

"The members wouldn't mind and I understand. Will you at least let me take you home?"

You nodded and hailed a taxi for the two of you.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You stood backstage anxiously as the boys took to the stage. You were nervous, considering the final performance reflected on you and your skills as a choreographer.

The boys had worked hard over the past week and you were confident they would do wonderfully. You'd even exchanged numbers to stay in contact with them after you went on to work with other idols.

You twisted the hem of your dress nervously. This wasn't really your scene, a fancy awards show. You felt slightly uncomfortable, afraid you'd do something to reflect badly on the boys.

You looked down at your phone for the first time in hours and saw a text from Namjoon.

"You taught me to lose my inhibition. It's my turn, now ;)

Maid To Be

Genre: Regency AU, slight friends to lovers

Pairing: Namjoon/Named Reader

Warnings: Accidental groping, awkward Joon, a little cringe at times but in a cute way

Synopsis: Marriage wasn’t something you thought about much as a maid. You knew you would end up wherever your mistress, Dorothea, did. Despite the encouragement of your employers, you planned to live your life as Dorothea’s maid forever. When her attractive cousins come to visit, you can’t help but notice how much they’ve changed.

Note: A continuation to “Rabbit Hunting” and part of my larger Regency AU series of one shots.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"Miss Cooke!" Mrs. Kim called from the entrance parlor. You dropped the duster and rushed out to the main parlor where the elder Miss Kim, a basket full of wildflowers and her hair and absolute mess. "Please help Thea dress for supper tonight. It seems she couldn't keep her composure during one simple outing."

Dorothea rolled her eyes and headed towards the room, dropping the wildflowers off on the table near the door. She seemed to have a dreamy look in her eyes. The elder sister was always prone to fantasies--both Kim sisters were in fact--but there was something different about the glaze over her eyes. If you didn't know any better, you would guess this wasn't just any morning walk.

"Oh, Miss Cooke what am I going to do with that girl? It'll be a miracle if I can find a gentleman to marry her. A gentleman is more likely to fall for a maid like you than a girl like her, even with her breeding!"

"Oh, Mrs. Kim, I'm sure that's not true," you said, ignoring Mrs. Kim's slight on your station. She hadn't meant any offense, but you still felt like you'd been punched in the stomach. "Any man would be lucky to marry either of your daughters. Now, would you like me to send for some tea? Maybe that will help you relax before we have out visitors."

"That sounds lovely, Miss Cooke."

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"Oh Eliza, he was so infuriating! Insulting our sex and then suddenly changing his mind! And, I don't even know what favor he wanted to ask me!" You tightened Dorothea's corset causing the last syllable to come out a slightly higher pitch.

"Yet, you're still hoping there'll be a ball so that you can dance with him." You raised your eyebrow as the girl turned around and you helped her into her dress. Dorothea blushed. The girl was a couple years younger than you and you'd been with her family so long that the Kim sisters felt more like your younger sisters than your mistresses.

"Well, it would be improper of me to turn him down if he asks." You laughed and Dorothea soon joined you.

"Your mother will be thrilled. If he's interested that is," you said. "It sounds like he's a suitable gentleman. Considering he's friends with your cousins."

"I can only hope," Dorothea said. "Who knows, maybe there will be a gentleman for you?" She nudged your side lightly as she sat down at her vanity and allowed you to brush your hair. You brushed it out and braided it back into a bun in a way that flattered her face.

"Oh, don't be silly, Thea," you said. "A gentleman would never look my way. And, even if they did, they would know it's improper."

"Maybe you'll find one that doesn't care about propriety. If my memory serves me correctly, didn't you and my cousin, Seokjin, have a flirtation the last time they visited?"

You laughed. "Seokjin and I are simply a friendly flirtation. We are good friends, that's all Thea. The man is a natural flirt and I like to tease him about it."

"Oh, wouldn't it be marvelous if you married one of my cousins! We'd be cousins then, Eliza!"

"Thea, you know I will go to whatever estate you end up the Lady of. I will never leave you."

"Oh Eliza, I hope you meet a rich gentleman, so you don't have to be a maid anymore."

"I like being a maid."

Dorothea looked at you like a forlorn puppy, and huffed slightly. After a few moments of taking in your figure, her face lit up and she told you wait there for a moment. When she came back she carried a small bundle of wildflowers, she held a few up against your hair before sliding a violet colored flower behind your ear.

"Please wear it while you serve supper," Eliza said. "I wish you could eat with us."

"Your mother is already kind with allowing the staff to eat the nice food that you and the gentlemen eat. Don't worry about me, worry about wooing Mr. Jeon tonight."

The mention of the gentleman's name caused the girl to become dreamy once again. She sat down at her vanity and began to put the finishing touches on her look.

"Now, don't do anything too strenuous that will ruin your hair. Your mother will blame me this time."

The girl nodded and left the room to work on the centerpieces. As you worked, you remembered the last time the Kim brothers visited. They were much younger, Seokjin being the only one who was close to marrying age. You'd heard he, too, hadn't married. You'd had a girlish crush on the eldest brother, so much so, that you only had a few memories of the two younger ones.

They all treated you as if you were their cousin and not their maid. They knew Mrs. Kim had taken you in as a charity when you were a young orphaned girl with nowhere else to go. She was the closest thing to a mother you had. She was kind enough to teach you some skills, in the hopes that you may marry someone with a decent job that would allow you to work less or if you were lucky, not at all. But, you would never reach the level of the Kims. It wasn't unheard of, but so rare you didn't dare dream. You weren't like Dorothea, you didn't have the money to dream.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"Miss Cooke, it's wonderful to see you again," Seokjin said, allowing you to take off his jacket and place it in the closet.

"A pleasure as always, Mr. Kim." You turned to see more men working their way into the parlor. All of them handsome. All of them filthy rich. By the time the carriages were unloaded, there were seven in all.

You spotted one with a yellow flower tucked into his collar and you smiled in recognition of Mr. Jeon. His eyes seemed to be flitting around the parlor and up the stairs.

"Looking for the elder, Miss Kim?" you asked, smirking.

"Um, uh, yes, how did you know?"

"Ah, Miss Cooke knows everything around here," Taehyung said, coming through the door and clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You really should get on her good side."

You smiled at Taehyung, immediately remembering his boxy smile and the way he had been infatuated with you when you were children.

You helped each man out of their coat learning their names as you went: Mr. Jeon, Mr. Min, Mr. Jung, and Mr. Park. The middle Kim brother was the last one. He was the one you didn't remember all that well. He had always been the tallest, but he was very shy growing up, opting most of the time to keep himself content in the library.

"Mr. Kim, you've matured much since I last saw you," you said, taking his jacket and hanging it beside the rest of the men's jackets.

"You have as well, Miss Cooke."

When you turned back around, you met his eyes, the first time in the interaction. You hardly remembered how handsome he was: his intelligent eyes and dimples nearly knocking you off your feet.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Dinner was a frenzy. You worked to serve all the food at once. You had just sat down a plate of vegetables and turning to head back to the kitchen when you felt something brush the backside of your skirt.

You face reddened and you turned around, in disbelief that any of the so-called gentlemen would touch you in such a way, but when you met eyes with the guilty gentleman, he seemed just as embarrassed as you. Namjoon's eyes were wide and he was holding up his hands.

"Miss Cooke, please don't think that I would mean to touch you in such away. I was simply trying to reach out for attention. Please forgive me."

"'Tis nothing, sir. I can see from your face you had no ill intentions."

You quickly excused yourself to the kitchen and never met the man's eyes again. You heard indistinct chattering among the guests, but could clearly hear the Namjoon's brother's teasing him.

"I would've paid to see Miss Cooke take a whack at you," Taehyung said. "When she turned around it certainly looked like she wanted to."

"The look on your face must've frazzled her. She's never called any of us 'sir' before."

The other's boys laughed and you made a point to tune out the rest of their conversation as you ate in the kitchen with the rest of the staff.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"Miss Cooke," Namjoon said to you as you retrieved his jacket for him that night. Just like when he arrived, he was the last one to leave. "I want to apologize for what happened at dinner. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It's quite all right, Mr. Kim. Accidents happen and a little embarrassment is good for the ego."

Mr. Kim turned around his gaze felt hot against your skin. "Oh, I nearly forgot," he said, reaching into his pocket. Your eyes widened when he pulled out the small violet flower Miss Kim had placed behind your ear earlier that day. "You dropped this while you were serving. That's, uh, why I was trying to get your attention before."

He hesitantly reached up and placed it back behind you ear, smoothing back your hair as he did so, you ensure it wouldn't become tangled around the plant.

"I thought you might want it back. It flatters you."

You blushed and curtsied to thank him. He left with a polite farewell and as you closed the door you felt like all the air drained out of the room.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You had managed to avoid the Kim brothers and specifically Namjoon all day. You'd of course greeted them, but you felt you cheeks grow warm when Namjoon smiled when he spotted the flower still tucked behind your ear. You knew you couldn't be around him the rest of the day or else you might lose your composure.

It was nearly the end of the day and you'd finished your duties early, Mrs. Kim insisting that you take the night off. Even telling you that the Kim brothers wouldn't mind seeing themselves out.

The night before they had announced that they were hosting a ball at Finchfield. The two Miss Kims had been so delighted it was all they could talk about. You were happy that Dorothea was finally going to get to dance with Mr. Jeon, because it was obvious from the night before that the feelings were mutual. And, you were sure the younger Miss Kim would find a suitable partner as well.

You entered the library--your favorite place to go whenever Mrs. Kim allowed you the night off--and you were startled to find the three brother's inside. The furniture pushed to the side while Taehyung and Namjoon stood across from each other, halfway through the steps of a country dance.

"Miss Cooke!" Seokjin said. "What impeccable timing! We were just complaining about the lack of female partners. We were just teaching Namjoon how to dance. I'm not sure how he got this far into life without learning how to do a simple Country Dance."

"The offer flatters me, Mr. Kim. But, wouldn't one of your cousins be a much more suitable partner?"

"Ah, but see Miss Cooke, my younger brother is embarrassed to admit to his younger cousins that he does not know how to dance. Please will you save him the embarrassment?"

"See, the thing is, Mr. Kim, I don't know how to dance either."

"Even more perfect! Namjoon won't be as embarrassed if his partner also can't dance! It might make our job harder, but we're willing to sacrifice."

You could already see through the Kim brother's antics, but it appeared Namjoon was nearly as embarrassed as you, but as you went to stand across from him, he bowed politely.

The dance was simple, you'd seen it a few times when balls were held at the Kim estate, but you were never allowed to attend a ball as a guest.

You followed the instructions, meeting Namjoon's eyes only for a moment, before pulling away again. Your hands softly touched as you swiftly came together before pulling apart again.

"Your flower hasn't wilted," he said, nodding towards the flower tucked behind your ear.

"I put it in water last night," you said. "I want to make sure it lasts as long as possible."

"Mr. Jeon did the same with his. I think he's really quite taken with my cousin."

"Hm, I should think so. She's quite taken with him as well. She talks about how infuriating he is, but I can see straight through her. Last night was the first time I've seen her speechless."

When Dorothea had walked in and spotted Mr. Jeon with the flower tucked into his collar, she couldn't keep the blush off her cheeks or the smile off her face.

"I expect I'll be moving to Mr. Jeon's estate within the year."

The dance stopped.

"Why would you move to Mr. Jeon's?"

"I plan to go wherever the eldest Miss Kim goes," you said. "Our bond is that of sisters and I can't think of living here without her."

"Oh, I see." Taehyung cleared his throat which caused you and Namjoon to look back over at the youngest brother. "Ah, yes, thank you, Miss Cooke for humoring my brothers, and for the dance. You're not a bad dancer, although, I may not be the best judge of that."

You curtsied and quickly grabbed the book you had come in for and left the library on shaky legs, trying to get the feel of the light touches from the dance off your hands.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

It was the night of the dance and you had settled into the window seat of the library. You had nearly the whole manor house to yourself, except for the other staff. You had just finished the first chapter of a new novel when the library door opened.

"Mr. Kim! Shouldn't be headed to the ball?"

"Uh, yes," he said. "Yes, I should. But, I couldn't go without reserving my first dance for the person who taught me to dance. And, it will give me one last practice."

"Oh, Mr. Kim, I'm flattered, but I don't want to make you late."

"I will always have time for you, Miss Cooke. But, if you truly don't wish to dance with me, allow me to add to your collection."

He reached out and handed you a book--a modern collection of poetry. "I saw you took a book of poetry yesterday. I thought you might enjoy this one. I have another copy back home, so feel free to keep this one."

Your eyes became misty. It was the first book you owned. You always borrowed from the library which Mrs. Kim was generous to allow you to do in the first place.

"Finchfield has a wonderful library, too. I'm not sure why the previous owner left it, but perhaps one day if you accompany Miss Kim, I can find a reason for you to spend the day there."

"Mr. Kim, this is all too much. How can I ever thank you?"

"Allow me to the pleasure of the first dance?"

"Of course," you said.

You both stumbled through the steps. You didn't quite remember and Namjoon hadn't quite perfected it yet, but when your hands touched for the brief moment, you were overcome with joy. You knew it couldn't last and that you and Mr. Kim could never be together, but even for the moment it felt like you were more than a maid. You were allowed to dream for just a moment.

Namjoon left not long after the dance, leaning down to kiss your hand before he left, something he would never do if anyone else were around.

You set aside the novel and opened up the book of poetry. Inside he had written a short inscription: May the prettiest flower never wilt.

Sutures - Interlude: Birdwatching

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Namjoon/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter-specific): references my series Sutures beware of spoilers, drunkeness, being creeped on (subtly and briefly),

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Note: I’m sorry that this final installment of Sutures took so long. However, I did originally write it months after I finished the original story. This isn't necessary to read for the story, but does provide a different perspective and some cuteness.

Previous | Series Masterlist

Year One

Eunji's phone vibrated on the desk beside her. The contact name "Goose" lit up the screen and she immediately answered the call. 

"Hey," she said. "What's going on?" 

"Hello Dove," he said, making her stomach flop. Despite the codenames being her idea to protect Namjoon's identity when they talked in public, and in case you or Yoongi were nearby, it still caused her to feel like she missed lunch. "Are you busy right now?"

"Uh, not really," she said. "Just working on some school work." Soon after you had left for the States, Eunji had decided to go back to college and finish her degree. It helped her stay busy. She was paid to keep tabs on you, make sure that your health was not compromised, and that you and Yoongi stayed on different continents for the time being. BigHit cared that Yoongi's health was good, which meant yours had to be as well. There was no telling if you and Yoongi could still affect each other nearly 6,000 miles apart.

"Do you want to meet up? We're going to be going to Los Angeles soon and we should work out a plan." 

"Okay, the normal place in about an hour?"

"Sounds good."

---

Eunji and Namjoon liked to meet outside the city in Ilsan. He'd sworn that he knew a great cafe near the lake park, and Eunji had come to like their lattes. She got to the cafe before Namjoon and began sipping her latte as she watched the rain run down the window. 

She caught sight of Namjoon halfway down the block. He wore a mask, black hat, and black peacoat, but she could still make out his tall, lanky form. It looked like he already carried one coffee cup in his hand and she let out a small chuckle at his dependence on caffeine. 

He entered the shop. Spotting her right away, he sat down across from her and promptly ordered an Americano. On the table, Namjoon set a book, notebook, and his mask. 

"Latte?" he asked, smiling as she took another sip. 

Eunji nodded, setting the mug down and awkwardly looking at the man in front of her. She knew he was an idol, of course, but she'd come to know him so well in the past months that it was odd when she stumbled upon a billboard with his face. She could never get used to the stares and whispers that inevitably surrounded them whenever they met up, although it seemed reduced here, Namjoon's hometown. 

"You can keep the mask on if you want," she said. "You know, so you don't get recognized here with me." 

Namjoon shook his head. "The mask would only make them more suspicious." The barista brought his Americano. He took a sip. "So, how is Sumi doing?"  

"Okay," Eunji said, her eyes wandering around the cafe. "She's still pretty torn up about her grandma and she hasn't been working too much lately." 

Namjoon nodded. "Yoongi has been distant. Throwing himself into his studio for days at a time. Sure, he's been productive, but I can tell something is off with him." He paused. "Do you think there's still some sort of connection there?" 

"Maybe," Eunji said. "Should we ask the doctors about it? See if influencing each other's mood could be bad for their health?"

"I think it's okay. We just need to make sure they're moods never get dangerously low." Namjoon pulled his gaze away from Eunji. "His songs have been different too. He always wrote sad songs, but there's a longing in these. He keeps mentioning yarn and knitting. I don't think he even realizes." 

"It's sad," Eunji said. "That they obviously are still soulmates, still so connected, and they can't live happily with each other." She looked across the table at the man who had written so many love songs and knew he would understand. 

"The doctors said there's hope one day. Once they have both achieved what they need to before finding love. When they're ready, they can find each other again." 

Eunji sighed. "I always dreamed that finding your soulmate was the best thing in the world. You'd have someone who you could understand inherently, someone who would never leave your side, who would always love you." She brushed one of her hands through her hair. "I never imagined it could be this messy." 

"I think people can have soulmates outside of the medical definition," he said. "Like, you can find all that without the biological connection that Yoongi and Sumi have."

"Maybe, I just wish one day I'll find my soulmate and it won't be like this."

"That's the thing. You're destined to be together, but if you meet at the wrong time, in the wrong way. Everything gets messed up." Namjoon smiled, it was small and barely there, but Eunji could see the hope behind his expression. "I think they'll find each other again one day. And, you'll find someone too. Maybe not like Sumi did, but someone who will make you feel the same way."

"All right," she said. "Enough about my lonely life. Let's make a plan for when you go to Los Angeles."

 Year Two

"Did you hear about that celebrity who found his soulmate?" you asked your best friend, munching on some potato chips as you went over one of your student's assignments.

"What?" Eunji asked, her voice sounding a bit panicked. "Who?"

"Oh, it was just some actor," you said. "Apparently, he's taking some time off now so that they can get used to the arrangement. Can you imagine that? Your soulmate is some sort of celebrity and you have to work around their fans and fame. I would hate that." 

"I mean, if it's the right person, wouldn't it be worth it?" Eunji asked, chewing on her bottom lip. "They would be your soulmate. The perfect person for you."

You shrugged. "I don't know. It's rare anyway. I don't think either of us will have to worry about that." 

Eunji's jaw stiffened and her body tensed. "I don't know," she said. "I think it's more common than you think."

The crunch of more chips cut of Eunji. "Maybe," you said. "Oh, by the way, did I tell you I'm seeing a guy over here? It's nothing serious yet, but I really like him." 

Eunji's anger melted into concern. Dating hadn't been part of the plan. Last she knew, you still remembered everything that happened with Minki and had sworn off dating. "How'd you meet him?" 

"He came into my parent's restaurant," you said, laughing. "Apparently he was a regular. It was weird. Mom didn't seem too keen to set me up with him."

"Yeah, that is weird."

When the call ended, Eunji texted Namjoon to tell him that you two needed to schedule a meetup. But, her muscles were still tense. How could you be so dismissive? Eunji remembered the way you'd been scared when you found out Yoongi was your soulmate, but she also remembered the way your eyes softened. 

She knew you didn't remember Yoongi or your romance. That made it all the more tragic. That the you of now didn't believe it was possible to care for someone so deeply you would sacrifice everything about yourself.

Namjoon had just gotten back to Korea from abroad, so Eunji didn't expect him to respond to her for a while. So, she did what she always did when she felt lonely and depressed. Eunji went clubbing.

Eunji knew it was a bad idea to come out by herself. The club was crowded and she barely had room to dance by herself. She ordered drink after drink. This was how you met Yoongi. Dancing in a bar while getting just drunk enough to lose your inhibition. 

Eunji thought that if she drank enough if she danced enough, she too would fall into the lap of her soulmate.

---

Namjoon woke to his phone vibrating. He saw Eunji's name on the screen, stress building in his chest. He'd seen the text earlier and brushed it off, intending to respond to it tomorrow, but now, he worried something was really wrong.

"Dove? Why are you calling me at two am?" You didn't respond and Namjoon only heard hitched breathing on the other line. "Eunji?"

"Goose," she said, her voice slurring. "Why can't I find my soulmate? I've done everything Sumi has and it hasn't happened." Eunji paused and he heard thumping music in the background. "Am I just destined to be alone forever?"

"Where are you, Dove?"

"A club in Yong-san." 

Namjoon swore under his breath and got out of bed.

--- 

"Stop drinking," Namjoon said, climbing out of a taxi and onto an Itaewon street, a neighborhood in Yong-san. He knew it had to be here you'd found yourself. It was where all the tourists who liked clubbing ended up. "Then, you could help me find you." 

"I'm outside." She said it as if Namjoon should know exactly where that was. He could hear the people around her and he walked a little faster. 

"Is there anything nearby that you can see?" he asked, pulling up his mask and pulling down his beanie so that it covered his blond hair. 

"Uh, there's a 7-Eleven across the street." 

Namjoon let out a breath of relief as she actually answered his question logically. "All right, Dove. Just sit down on the curb and I'll be there soon." 

There were many 7-Eleven's in the area, but according to his maps, only one was directly across from a nightclub. Namjoon turned the corner, immediately stumbling onto the convenience store. Looking across the street, he saw her sitting on the curb and extremely interested in something on the blacktop.

"Dove!" he said, running across the street and crouching down beside her. He placed his hand on her bare shoulder, finding it cold from the chilly night. "What are you doing?"

"The ants," she said. "Nobody cares about them." 

Namjoon noticed a line of ants that were crawling towards a crack in the pavement. She wore a strapless body con dress and for once, Namjoon wasn't the one drawing attention.

He took off his jacket and threw it over her shoulders. It covered the entire length of the dress. "Come on, Dove. Get up. It's time to go home." Namjoon took her hand and hoisted her up. 

She finally looked up at him as if she'd just noticed his presence. "Are you my soulmate?"

Namjoon was getting annoyed. "Why did you come out by yourself?" he asked. "You need to be more careful. There's too many strange guys around to get drunk on your own." He eyed a few that seemed particularly interested in the drunk girl.

"Are you worried about me, soulmate?" She wore a dreamy smile and grabbed onto the sides of his T-shirt to stabilize herself.

Namjoon sighed and placed his arms around her shoulders as he waved his free up to hail a taxi. He climbed in first and reached to help her in, but she tried to stumble in herself. Tripping over her platform heels, she landed right in his lap. 

The taxi driver looked back at them expectantly and Namjoon helped Eunji sit up and reached across her body to hook her seatbelt. 

"What's your address, Dove?" 

Luckily, she was able to tell the driver your address. It was in one of the outer neighborhoods of the city and Namjoon wondered if she'd even planned on going home that night. He noticed the way her eyelids drooped and how she pulled the jacket closer around her.

"Tired?" He lifted his arm and allowed her to rest against his chest. His heart rate elevated and he resisted the urge to leaned down fix her smeared lipstick.

"I'm so happy I found you," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I can finally have my happy ending."

---

Eunji fell asleep before they reached her apartment. As the taxi came to a stop and parked outside her complex, he leaned down and gripped her shoulder rubbing one of his fingertips against the fabric of his jacket.

"Dove, we're here," he said. It was nearly four now. He opened the door of the taxi and gently helped her out. Eunji was barely awake, so he kept his arm firmly around her shoulder to keep her stable. He took her keys and got into the building, looking around for an elevator. 

"Only stairs," she said, pointing to the stairwell.

Namjoon sighed and headed towards the stairs. "What floor?"

"Six."

"Of course."

Halfway through, Eunji began to help him, taking some of the weight off his shoulders. Still, when they reached the sixth floor, he felt his arms and shoulders burning, catching his breath.  She started walking on her own, stumbling towards her door and attempting to put the keys in the lock, not realizing that Namjoon still held them.

He followed her and unlocked her apartment, following her inside. "Are you all right now, Dove?" 

Eunji turned to look at him. It was obvious that some of her drunkenness had begun to wear off, but her eyes were still glassy and she couldn't walk entirely straight. "You can't leave me," she said. "We're soulmates and we'll die."

Namjoon let out a frustrated breath. "All right," he said. "Go change and go to sleep." He watched she disappeared into her bedroom. 

After a few minutes, he knocked on her door and peeked in to see her changed and underneath the covers. "I'll be on to couch if you get sick." He moved to close the door but she interrupted his movements. 

"No, stay with me," she said. "I don't mind." 

Namjoon gave in, just wanting to shut his eyes. He flopped down on the other side of her bed, feeling as she curled against his side. 

---

Namjoon woke to another phone call. He noticed Eunji still sleeping next to him, her makeup smeared and he couldn't help but smile as he brought the phone to his ear. 

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?" Yoongi asked. "We're supposed to go over the new songs." 

Namjoon glanced down as she shifted beside him and met her eyes as she opened them. "I got caught up helping a friend last night," he said. "Sorry, I'll be on my way in twenty minutes." 

Year Three

"How long until she comes back?" Namjoon asked, plucking a cookie off the plate in the center of the table. The two had become well-known regulars to the cafe, coming at least every few months, although now it was nearly every week. They usually gave them a plate of cookies to share. Each visit was a different flavor and Namjoon seemed to particularly like the matcha flavored ones.

"Two weeks," Eunji said. "She's moving in with me until she finds her own place." 

Namjoon paused with another cookie halfway to his mouth. "Does that mean we can't meet up anymore?"

Eunji found herself smiling, her stomach filling with butterflies. She, too, looking forward to their Sunday meetings. Sometimes they lost track of discussing you and Yoongi and talked for hours about other things. BTS, the songs Namjoon was writing, funny stories, how much you enjoyed the snickerdoodles from the same cafe.

"No, we'll just have to be more careful." Eunji looked down and picked up one of the last cookies for herself. "Although, do you think they're almost ready to meet again?"

"I don't think that's up to us," Namjoon said. "I think we'll have to let fate decide."

Eunji laughed. "Yeah, cause it did such a good job last time." 

"I don't know. It kinda brought us together, didn't it?" He took the last cookie in his mouth.

Eunji smiled, hoping Namjoon didn't notice the way her ears reddened. "Yeah, yeah, it did." Ever since that night Namjoon helped her home over a year ago, she always felt excitement and nerves before their meetings. She checked her makeup and flattened down her hair. She would spend twenty minutes getting dress. Eunji even caught herself googling his ideal type before closing the window and cursing herself for being such an idiot.

"I think we just monitor it for now," he said. "We don't want to breathe down their necks or insist we go with them everywhere or they'll be suspicious."

Eunji nodded as she took a bite of her cookie and stared down at the table. It was a few seconds before she looked back up at Namjoon. "I really want them to find each other again, Goose. It just doesn't seem fair. I wish we could lock them in a room together and make them." 

Namjoon reached across the table and laid his over hers. His eyes were soft. "Me too."

"You know, my soulmate just doesn't seem as important now," she said. "I don't know if I have one. But, I know Sumi does and I want her to be happy."

Eunji thought about three and half years ago when she first saw Namjoon in the hospital when you and Yoongi found out you were soulmates. He hadn't seemed real, a face and body she'd only seen on TV or through a screen. She had a hard time hiding her jealousy. Her best friend who never went out, ignored other guys for her deadbeat ex-boyfriend, and had her first and only one night stand found her soulmate so effortlessly.

She remembered seeing Namjoon that day too. He looked pretty much the same as the man sitting across from her, except for the little bit of facial hair that he no longer bothered to shave and how he rarely wore a mask when he met with her anymore.

Namjoon watched her from across the table. His eyes focused on her lips as she spoke and he noticed the way she seemed so wrapped up in her own thoughts. 

He'd misjudged her all those years ago. Eunji liked to party and drink too much. She kissed a different boy every week, not caring too much for seeing them the next day. But, he slowly saw the reasons. The want for love, for attention. That she could get instantly if she wore the right dress at the club. Her and Sumi seemed so different, but as he got to know her more, he saw that the attention only came from giving all of hers to others. Most of which didn't deserve it.

"Dove," he said, cutting through the comfortable silence. "What do you say to meeting up again?"

Eunji made eye contact with him, her brow furrowing. "What do you mean?

"I mean, like where we can meet up and we don't talk about the lovebirds."

"You mean, like a date?"

"That's exactly what I mean, Dove."

Out Of My Mind (Namjoon x OC)

Double Upload! Woo! Fun fact- This is a fic inspired by a situation mentioned in one of my other oneshots. I loved the idea so much that I finished this fic before the one that inspired it lol

Summary: He hated to abuse her kindness like he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to change anything. It would hurt more people to change his ways than it would to keep them. Maybe.

Bless Day6 for this song that coincidentally goes along with this story!

Words: 2,500+ Genre: angst and fluff, my specialty lol

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

It wasn’t too long before Namjoon pulled up to the apartment that he knew almost better than his own. He took a deep breath as he spotted movement toward the front doors of the building. He could tell her apart from a mile away.

He turned his car off and hurried out of it before she got out of his sight. She was nearly in the building when he built up the courage to shout her name out.

“Miyoung! Wait up!”

She turned around, but she didn’t necessarily look shocked. She was almost expecting to see him show up tonight. He had been staying the night almost every other night at this point.

“Namjoon,” she sent him a soft smile that was almost like a whisper. Her quiet voice took over his mind as he took another deep breath. He hated to abuse her kindness like he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to change anything. It would hurt more people to change his ways than it would to keep them.

“I’m sorry,” he slightly shrugged, but she didn’t stay to listen to his apology. She’d heard it time and time again, and there was no need to hear it once more. His footsteps followed her all the way to her place as she unlocked the door. She glanced back at him for a second before stepping inside, holding the door open for him.

“I’ll make some dinner if you’d like. I think Ryeji will be home a little early tonight,” She spoke as Namjoon slipped off his shoes. He looked over to her after shrugging his jacket off, and she sent him a soft smile. It was a smile he didn’t deserve, but she was always generous with it. He couldn’t lie that her smile could clear his head of any negative thoughts. It was the soul reason on why he should have never come.

“I’d always appreciate your food,” he spoke carefully as her eyes stayed lit up the way he liked. “But if you’re too tired to make anything, don’t force yourself.”

Miyoung took his words as a yes, and she started on her way to the kitchen, “It’ll be ready in about 30. Feel free to change and watch TV to your heart’s content.”

He wanted to walk into the kitchen and watch her cook like he always did. There was some kind of magic that she had in the kitchen, and he loved watching it. He had an excuse to keep his eyes on her for a long time, and what more could he want?

But he couldn’t do that anymore. He couldn’t do that do himself. The more he was around her, the worse things got. He shouldn’t even be here right now, but here he was.

He stared at himself in the mirror when he went to change, and his expression was just as deflated as the rest of him. He couldn’t keep this up. The more he did this, the closer Jena was to finding out.

He pushed himself away from the bathroom counter and threw the door open in frustration, but he didn’t dare let it hit the wall. Miyoung didn’t need to be anywhere near him until he calmed down a little bit.

This point is normally when he would walk into the kitchen, but Miyoung noticed him walk right on passed the doorway. He seemed to be walking into the living room, and Miyoung swallowed. Such a simple action already set her mind in a disarray as she looked back down at the food. Everything felt different, as much as she hated to admit it. He didn’t feel like his usual self. It was only a matter of time until she never saw him again.

She took a deep breath and swallowed a lump that was forming in her throat. Jena always had the upper hand. No matter what she did, he wasn’t going to leave Jena. She tried everything to win him over, but he was impenetrable.

Her thoughts wandered as her eyes stayed on the food. It didn’t matter where her eyes laid, because her mind was far gone. She couldn’t stop thinking about how he was in the other room and not in the kitchen with her.

“Namjoon,” she called once she was confident that her voice would be stable, “Do you want a drink? Coffee maybe?”

His answer didn’t come, and Miyoung felt her heart sting a little. She knew what his response would be, and unfortunately, he knew that she knew. He didn’t bother answering a question that she already knew the answer to. His answer was the same every time.

It didn’t stop her heart from aching. Even the simplest things began to hurt so much. It was a painful reminder of what was soon to come. Soon enough, she wouldn’t even be able to ask that question. It wasn’t long before he wouldn’t even show up anymore.

“Okay, I’ll get it for you,” she responded, but she didn’t move. Tears began to build up in her eyes as the TV’s volume was raised relatively louder. She took that as a sign for her to give up. She was giving up, anyway.

The food in front of her began to burn as she hurried to turn the heat down. Her arms were shaking, but she managed to save the food. If this was their last meal together, she wanted it to be great. Even if the salt from her tears made it taste a little off.

The food was finished sooner than she had hoped. Her tears were still flowing at the thoughts flooding her mind. She could barely find it in her to put the food on their separate plates. The longer he was away from her, the more desirable her bed became.

“Namjoon,” she called. Her voice sounded broken, but it was drowned out by the TV. Even if the TV was off, he wouldn’t have heard her.

She tried calling out to him again, but her voice ended up even quieter than before. She balled up her fists in frustration as her heartache grew. She might as well get used to this. Jena came first after all. She always did.

It was foolish for her to believe that his attention meant anything other than charity. To him, she was just his backup home. She was his cushion to keep him from falling when he and Jena weren’t working.

She was nothing more than his cushion, despite her hopes.

After what felt like centuries, she moved the food onto one plate for him. She was just going to hand it to him and go to bed. Their last meal was just going to have to be spent apart. She should start her heartbreak recovery as soon as possible.

She placed the pan back on the stove with the rest of the food. The longer she was around the food, the less appetizing it was. Her stomach could barely hold itself together right now, let alone digest some food.

She grabbed the plate and walked into the living room. It took all the strength left in her to put a broken smile on her face. It didn’t matter if he could see right through it. This might be the last time he sees it.

She placed the food down on the coffee table in front of him, and she felt his eyes on her. She didn’t dare look at him as she placed the water bottle that she had grabbed next to it. Her hands were shaking a lot more than she was used to.

“Sorry it took so long,” she spoke, but he could barely hear her. It didn’t help that she didn’t want to get very close to him. She wouldn’t even spare him a glance. Maybe it was for the better.

He glanced at the food that she had placed down before looking back over at her. Her eyes had rested on the TV for a few seconds, and he just watched her. He couldn’t help but study every move she made, like he was afraid he’d never see her again.

He really shouldn’t have come.

She built herself up enough to look at him as he looked her in the eyes. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know as he felt himself lose his appetite.

“I’m going to head off to bed,” she spoke, her voice breaking mid-sentence. She didn’t dare cry in front of him, so she just bowed to excuse herself. With one last look at him, she turned to walk into her room.

Namjoon couldn’t help but feel panic in his chest. His brain was confused with his actions just as much as his heart was. Jena kept popping into his mind, but as he glanced at Miyoung, he didn’t care. He couldn’t let this go on. He couldn’t cage the two of them over a girl he pitied. He’d never forgive himself if he let Jena rule his decisions.

“Miyoung,” Namjoon called as she stopped dead in her tracks. He hurried to shut off the TV as he stood up, moving closer to the girl he was hurting. He was causing her so much pain…

He knew it was time he stopped being so naive.

He rushed over to her and she turned around with tears in her eyes. Her broken expression put tears in his eyes before he had the chance to think about it. He couldn’t let this continue. She deserved to smile again. He wanted to make her smile again.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was breaking as he grabbed her hips in a desperate but gentle manor.

She dismissed his apology as her eyes got lost in his. Her mind was sending off a million alarms, but she couldn’t pull herself away from him.

He pulled her completely against him as the wind was knocked right out of her. He hadn’t ever been this close to her in all their years as friends. She had imagined this moment time and time again, but her heart still wasn’t prepared.

His nose teased hers as she reached up to wipe his tears. She didn’t know why he was crying, but she was glad she wasn’t the only one.

“I’m done,” he swallowed as he kept his eyes locked with hers. Her soft hands running along his skin made him shiver, but his tears didn’t stop, “I should have given in a long time ago.”

Not another moment was wasted as his salty lips covered hers, desperate to drink her in. He hooked his arms around her to keep her body against his. Her head tilted back slightly due to the forcefulness of his kiss. Her mind was still stuck in his eyes, even though her lids had shut ages ago.

Her desperate hands moved to his neck, running her hands through his hair at the nape. The excitement and heat of the moment had her shaking furiously, but he was doing a good job of keeping her glued to him. Her lips trembled as he changed the angle of the kiss with a light nudge of her nose. His kisses became more open as he allowed room for her to breath into the kiss. He was too hungry to let her pull away for a breath.

The wall behind her suddenly became very important to him as he hoisted her up by her thighs and lightly rammed her against the wall. A small noise left her mouth at the contact as his teeth tugged at her bottom lip. He let her feet touch the ground again, but he kept her pressed to that wall.

Her hands found the bottom of his shirt as she let her hands explore under the cloth she had imagined ripping off time and time again. Every time she had gotten a glimpse of his chest, she had hungered for a chance to touch it. The image of him emerging from the gym swimming pool came to mind as her cheeks rivaled the temperature of the sun. His built body felt better than she had ever imagined it feeling. Every muscle seemed to be at work as he kissed her, and his tongue was searching for an opportunity to dance around hers.

As her hands explored, he tried his best to keep his hands tame. His fingers pressed into her hips to keep them rooted to their spot, and he was doing well so far with self control.

It was when she let out a small sob that he pulled away and looked at her with a worried and broken expression. What had he just done? Did she just want him to leave her alone? Would she rather him have let her go?

“M-Miyoung?” his voice was hoarse from the heat of the kiss as it took everything in him to not kiss her tears away. He opted for his thumbs to clear them off, and she seemed to lean into his large hand. He noticed it almost swallowed her face now that he was able to hold her this close.

“I-I just,” she swallowed and let out a few hiccups, “I’m just so happy, but so confused.”

A small smile was placed on his face as he pulled her into a hug. She let out all the pent up tears as he moved her over to the couch.

“Take your time to calm down,” he whispered into her hair as she let out a heartbreaking sob, “I’m not going anywhere. I never really was.”

She gripped his shirt in a desperate hold, but she never said anything. His presence and comforting words were doing wonders, but her tears were unlimited. She had held them in for so long.

“N-Namjoon,” she sniffed and buried her face into his neck as his heart began racing all over again. “I love you so much…”

He placed a soft kiss on her head before running a hand up and down her back for comfort, “I know… I love you, too. I always have.”

She wanted to scream and cry at him for putting her through so much, but she couldn’t do it. No matter what kind of hell she was put through, she would do it all once more to be held like this again.

“Idiot,” was all she was able to get out as a small smile broke through on her face. He could feel the smile against his neck, so he pulled her away to look her in the eyes. His lips found her fresh tears as he kissed them away.

“The biggest idiot,” he softly corrected as her grip on his shirt tightened once more. Her eyes couldn’t believe the fond look in his eyes. She had seen that look so many times, but not once had she thought it was real.

She couldn’t help but pull him to her again, letting her heart swell. Despite the hell she went through, he was worth the wait.

AHSKAJHDAEHFOW THIS WAS SO DEPRESSING BUT YET CUTE OML I absolutely loved writing this, so much so that I wrote it all in one sitting and it is now so freaking late. Props to Day6 for the song that I listened to while writing this. I can’t quit listening to it~ cx

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

-Admin Jinnie

HEAVEN-SENT | knj

pairing: idol!friend!namjoon x f. reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2.8k

summary: when a certain bad experience with a guy makes you run to namjoon, he heals you and changes you once and for all.

warnings: lack of willful consent in a way, crying, religion, smoking (namjoon smokes a cig, reader vapes), the context of this fic is of sexual relations though none are described, heavy daddy issues.

note: after i sat down to write last chapter of berries, i discovered that i simply couldn't because of what happened to me this week. there was nothing left for me to do, but to run to namjoon in my head and let him heal me. yes, unfortunately, the events that i wrote about in this fic happened to me. the dream, i had it last night. and the consolation in the form of words in the fic, i constructed it from everything my friends told me. to be honest, i feel deeply healed. i finished it in two hours or so and i feel so much better. now, like the reader i put myself into, i'm gonna take a shower and wash everything away. i'll be able to write berries after that. i love you, guys. sorry, if this is triggering in any way. i just needed to get it out.

“I think I heard… God in that dream.” 

Your words create a wisp of tenderness in the air. Saddened, moist with the tears that sting in the back of your eyes. The sun of the summer has descended, hid beneath the city—and you feel as though the same occurred in your life, despite the fact you’re being held by someone who holds the skyscrapers and the manufactured greenery in between like a burden on his shoulders and could easily stop its departure if only he looked up to the heavens with puppy eyes. 

God would’ve nodded. Flicked his fingers. The source of light and warmth would’ve paused, stared down on you, shone a little more mercifully. Beckon you out to breath in the fresh air, breathe in the protectiveness you find yourself to be in the middle of. 

God protected you from a boy who had different intentions from you, led you into the arms of a man who’s able to take your pain and transform it into an eternal artwork of beauty and importance. A harmonious poetry, mixed with English and Korean, flooded with colors akin to the ones your eyes would stumble across on a field of wildflowers. 

It’s where you are right now. No blanket, just the soil, the blossoms, the warmth from Namjoon’s body, your bruised knees and rawly abraded elbows—your injury from earlier that the boy feignedly kissed, but didn’t care much about. A means to get you into bed, nothing else. A banana vape in your fist while Namjoon holds his cigarette backwards, shielding the smoke with his palm, even though you’ve told him multiple times that you didn’t mind it. 

You smoked so much of them with him within the hours you spent here and didn’t receive any sort of alleviation from it that you grew a certain distaste for it in your mouth. Settled for the sweetness of your vape. Enjoyed it as much as you enjoyed Namjoon’s closeness and a sense of safety that he radiated as he let you rest your head on his clavicle, leaning his entire weight on just one hand, and nothing else. 

So unlike the boy, who would’ve kissed your feet if you let him take the endeavor further like he wanted. 

You were on a first date with a boy you didn’t even know for a week. With a boy who stuck his tongue down your throat. Almost fondled the most private parts of your body, had you not stopped him. And who didn’t drive you home after. 

The prose of the shallow, insolent face of a young male, who didn’t want to be provided with your love and empathy, who kissed you to shut you up, in fact. And the demons of your brokenness, conspired with your father complex, manipulated you into believing that he was moved by it, rather than repulsed by it as his only objective was getting you comfortable enough so you willingly give over something that doesn’t belong to him. 

Your purity. Your private parts. Your femininity. 

Two days later after the date, you had a dream. While you slept beside your best friends who spent the night smoking with you on the stairs outside of their apartment, helping you realize the truth—popping your bubble of pink vapor gained from the kiss and the male attention you’ve always had so little of. Many dreams swam past your sleeping consciousness, but only one resurfaced upon waking up. 

A large beige room; a man standing in the middle of it as he made your bed while you stood clutching your pajamas to your broken, dejected form. You were looking at him, regarding him from head to toe. From his shortly cut, blond hair, to his broad shoulders and toned, muscular arms that would lift you without blinking. From the tank top he wore, to the dark shorts. And once you viewed the same bruises on his body that were on yours, concealed from his sight and awareness, you heard a gentle voice inside your heart. A voice, entwined with the purest form of love, which told you that this was the man you were supposed to be with, not the boy you were seeing. 

You listened to the voice, obeyed it in a way that you didn’t quite understand—silently, tenderly. While you internally quivered in fear in regards to the male species. You were frightened of the man who was taking care of you—not because of who he was or what he potentially had done or would have done, but because of a very simple reason. 

He was a man. 

And you didn’t trust them. 

Not anymore. 

Namjoon was different. Namjoon was a man who was your friend for the longest time. A poet who nurtured his life. Who viewed the world’s secret poetry and sought it in every way he could. He was as much like you as you were like him. But you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours. 

It wasn’t written in the prosaic constitution of this wretched world; and never will be. 

He’s not the man in the dream. 

He never made your bed, although he would if you needed it. But his heart doesn’t belong to love. It is tied to the arts; tied to the people he takes care of, works hard for. His heart belongs to his voice. 

And his voice was silenced in deep indignation when you told him what happened to you. He’s known you for years; he’s known of your lack of manliness in your life—has supported it for as long as he’s walked beside you. Wrote you poems about how perhaps that’s what life is. Aloneness and the arts, the heartbreak if it crawls inside and what you do with it after. You’ve read them, worshiped them, obeyed them, even though your need for love always persisted within you. 

And it led you here. Back to him, needing his poems, although now your deeper brokenness asks for his recitation. 

But he’s still silent. 

Not silent to your pain, however. Not silent to the tornado in your sternum that makes you pause between your words due to its intensity. That makes you look at the leaves of the grass instead of the earth within the pools of his eyes. But you can feel the strength of his indignation that is mightier than the whirlwind in your bones. And it’s warm, so terribly warm, growing warmer the longer he looks at you, in spite of the lowering of the heat of the sun and the evening sweeping past the field, the coldness of the soil as if it never had been touched by that heat. 

Like you, almost. 

“I think it was him who told me that,” you continue, brushing your thumb over your yellowing bruise upon your knee from your injury. “It’s why I remember the dream so vividly. Why it made me never want to see the guy again. Why it suddenly made me understand why my friends reacted the way they did when I told them what happened.” 

You believe it, and nothing could cover your belief due to its force—its quiet, tender force that graces you with a little bit of strength to be here with him, to be able to share it with him with the said understanding and calmness, calmness so akin to nothingness. 

How delightful it is, that state of emotions. 

You feel as though you’re telling the story of another person. Perhaps Namjoon has done it in you by letting you talk without interrupting like your friends did. They outburst so colorfully and it made you feel so small and so stupid. Namjoon did no such thing—through his silence he put great meaning into your story. 

And it feels nice. More than nice. You appreciate it with the little you’re able to feel towards a man. 

“Why did you let him kiss you again?” Namjoon asks, softly, breaking that nearly long season of his silence with the kind of gentleness that only he’s capable of. 

He must be a different breed, you conclude. One you’ll never have the opportunity to know, intimately. 

Your mouth rounds in a faint pout because you know your answer, and sheepishly you camouflage it by taking a puff of your vape, expecting the banana flavor to give you the courage you need in order to say it. 

You hear Namjoon follow you suit, sucking on the bud of his cigarette before he puts it out in yours and his makeshift ashtray—a bottle of water that you both drank. The hiss and the dying out drives you quicken your scrambling of bravery and you don’t really know where that vague sense of impatience comes from. 

Namjoon is anything but impatient. 

You sigh, taking another puff, blowing it into the wind, watching it where it takes it to. Wish you were taken elsewhere, too. By an invisible hand that means well. Take you to a place of joy and respect, of devotion and care. 

You wonder if a place like this exists, at all. 

“Because…” you trail off, the tornado in you thickening, threatening your calmness and you can’t stop the blooming of your pout, the deepening of it, either. “Because it was my first real kiss with a guy and I wanted experiences like that. I wanted to live. I wanted to have what everyone else has so easily.” 

A beat of silence. The tornado enlarges. And you feel as though you were in the middle of it, not the other way around. The raw truth, you’ve said it. Thank God you said it to a person that knows he must handle it with care. It’s the reason why you ran to him. Why you invariably do. 

“But he didn’t have your consent. He didn’t ask for it, so he didn’t have it. He just grabbed your head and kissed you. And because you wanted experiences doesn’t mean he had your consent.” 

You furrow your brows, out of step with him. “It was me who kissed him at one point. I even bit his lip.” 

For some reason, your uttered words cause you to look at him. With his arms wrapped around his knees and hands interlocked, he scowls. His scrunched brows cast a shadow upon his marble face, upon the thin line of his tightly pressed lips, and you fear you did something wrong. 

“Did you kiss him because you wanted to kiss him or did you kiss him because you wanted experiences?” 

That question shocks you and you can’t speak. You swivel your head back in shame, tipping it, and you twiddle your thumbs, the answer raw and obvious, out in the open without needing any transportation of words.

You felt comfortable with the guy. Had chemistry with him that would run deeper if you were on the same page as him. But there was something about him, which you still can’t pinpoint, that built a translucent wall between your heart and him. You didn’t find him attractive enough to kiss. You didn’t expect to be kissed either by the end of the date. But you went on with it for one sole reason. 

The tornado explodes through you and Namjoon can feel it. 

He places a hand on your shoulder. Makes you look at him with that singular gesture and your eyes well with tears, the residue and effect of the explosion. 

“Never, and I mean never, do that again. Never do things that you aren’t innately hungry for and never do them in order to live a life you think you should,” he says and it’s a proverb that must be written in the book that had opened within your dream. “I don’t believe in God, but I do believe that you were protected from that piece of shit, who had the audacity to put his hands on you.” 

And there it is, the recitation of a different poem, one you didn’t quite want, but find yourself to be in need of. Your tears flow without direction, dripping onto the petals of the violet and pink wildflowers that brush against your legs with every breath of the wind. 

And you nod. 

Maybe they needed it, too. Maybe that’s why you’re here, why God put that lesson in your life that made you run to Namjoon. He took your hand and gave you a role. 

To be a helper of his. 

Quench the thirst of the flowers and quench yours, too, through that work. 

“No one is allowed to think they can touch you like that on the first date. I know how guys think. They think that because they paid for you, they paid for your body—and I’d kill them for that if I could,” he breathes out, waggling your shoulder to emphasize the importance of his words. And you breathe them in, consider them the scolding of a father, one that is done out of love and care and one that is good for you. Not meant to harm, not meant to express the voice of his upper hand. It’s meant for you. For your well-being. “He was dead to me the moment you told me you had to stop his hand from going further down. And the moment you told me he didn’t drive you home at night. That’s not someone you experience life with. That’s someone you walk past.” 

You nod and you sob, weaving your way into his step, believing his words—the depth of them, the meaning of them, the end to the sentence piercing your heart because that’s how you met the guy. He stopped you on the street and chatted you up. Gave you a false sense of comfort and safety.

Namjoon kisses your worth over and over again, clutches your brokenness and puts it together with his gentle touch—all through his grip on your shoulder, through the verses of his poem. 

He doesn’t dare to go further. Because he’s respectful, because he’s older, because he cares for you, regards you as human and not a piece of meat meant for satisfactory purposes. Thrown away after the deed is done. 

You take mental notes of those attributes. Write them somewhere upon your flesh to remember later on. 

Respectful. Older. Caring. 

The antonyms of the boy you were seeing. 

“Someone will come along who will serve life to you on a silver platter. He will find you and he will respect you. Will be afraid to touch you because of how golden you are; afraid to stain you. He will love you and only then will you love him back. That’s how you’ll know he’s the one. He’ll love you first,” Namjoon recites on, your tears dropping onto the back of his hand and trickling down his fingers. He grasps your hand and you feel the liquid of your understanding on his skin. Somehow it locks it in. “He’ll wait before he kisses you. And you’ll be filled with so much longing to kiss him that you’ll feel like bursting. That’s how it should be.” 

You nod for the last time, overwhelmed, but changed. You believe the tornado won’t find you for a long time—for as long as Namjoon is here. 

“Don’t rush. Do what you love to do, your hobbies. Read. You’re not missing out. You’re living already. You’re alive. You’re experiencing life, even if it means you’re doing it in the company of your friends, in a platonic realm. It counts.” 

The last stanza. 

He hugs you. Grateful, healed, reassured—he seeps those new attributes in you by giving names to them as he wraps his arms around you and you perceive that’s precisely what you’re feeling. 

Grateful. Healed. Reassured. 

And you perceive he showed you how love is meant to be expressed. The man does it first. 

And when a storm rolls in and the wildflowers startle against your skin, Namjoon walks you home. Doesn’t leave until he knows you’re safe inside. 

Heals what he didn’t break. Reteaches what you’ve been wrongly taught. 

You’re living. You’re alive. You repeat those words to yourself as you undress yourself and wash away the wrong touch from your body, this time with great consciousness and will. And the vapor from the water, different from the one that was conjured from your madness of falsely living, seals in Namjoon’s touch on your skin, writes upon it the stanzas of his proverb. 

You’ll remember them the next time. 

And there will be a next time because you’re living. You’re alive. 

Namjoon is a different breed because he must be an angel, dressed in white as he was. A helper just like you, ordained by God he doesn’t believe in for you. 

Otherwise he wouldn’t be in your life at all because while you quenched your thirst, he filled up your hungry belly. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth.

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Kim Namjoon Drabble Masterlist 📝

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Genre: Fluff 💜, Angst ☔️, Crack 💀, Horror 👻

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Pink In The Night ☔️ (internal angst)

Hey buddy hope your doing well!!... I came up with an imagine request please

It's a florist namjoon x reader

I just love joonie with flowers

Here you go, my love. I hope you enjoy it 💜🌸😘

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Warnings: none

@rkive-joonie

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You walked the streets of Seoul on a Friday afternoon. It was cloudy, and the news was calling for light showers. The cool breeze kissed your skin, causing goosebumps to form. The aroma of freshly baked sweets guided you to enter the bakery that was a few shops away from your destination. The owner greeted you warmly and you returned the gesture. You grabbed two muffins and two coffees. One for you, and one for your friend, Namjoon.

Namjoon was a florist at the local flower shop. The two of you had been friends for years now. You first met him at the bookstore when you moved to the city. You both reached for the same poetry book at the same time. It happened to be the last one, and an interaction that would typically be awkward was surprisingly comfortable. His gentle smile and contagious laughter soothed you almost immediately. You ended up insisting that he take the book. Swearing that you had far too many, and it’d probably collect dust on your bookshelf.

The second time you met him was at the bakery you stood in now. You hadn’t noticed him sitting by the window with the exact same book in his hands, but he noticed you. After you received your order, which you were taking to go, he quickly caught your attention at the door.

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“Hi.” He greeted softly through a nervous laugh.

“Hi. You’re the guy from the bookstore. Right?” You greeted with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s me.” He smiled. “I recognized you, and I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Namjoon.” He said with a bow.

“It’s nice to meet you, Namjoon. My name is Y/N.” You returned the gesture.

The two of you stood in silence for a moment. Namjoon’s nervousness wouldn’t allow him to form the words he so desperately wanted to. After a few seconds, you decided to break the silence.

“Well, it was good seeing you. I should get going.” You said, as you turned on your heel.

“Wait!” He called quickly, causing you to turn back around. Confusion written all over your face. “Sorry, it’s just…I just finished the book, and I was wondering if you’d like to read it?” He asked sweetly.

You couldn’t help but smile at the man in front of you as he fiddled with his thumbs. “I’d like that.”

As the two of you parted ways, you began flipping through the book on your walk home. You smiled to yourself once you noticed a small card poking through one of the pages. You examined the card which had his name and phone number on it, along with an address and a logo which read “KNJ Florals”

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The memories of your first few interactions with Namjoon cause you to smile fondly. He was such a kind soul and you cared for him deeply. You felt as if you cared for him more than a friend, but you were so content with your friendship that you never explored the other options. You were just happy to tag along for the ride. You were in no rush to get to your destination. It was ok to stop and smell the flowers every once in a while.

As you walked into the floral shop, the smell of fresh roses engulfed you almost immediately.

“Hi, welcome to-“ Namjoon began once he heard the bell ring but cut himself off once he saw you. “Oh, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting to see you today.” He smiled.

“I know. I wanted to surprise you.” You said as you slid the muffins and his coffee across the counter to him.

“You’re the best, flower.” He smiled as he took a sip of his coffee, letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Anything for you, sweet boy.” You told him, taking a sip of your own coffee as you began walking around the shop. Taking notice of the freshly potted orchids.

“Slow day?” You asked as you admired the various colors.

“It’s gotten slow. Everyone came in earlier to avoid the rain.” He explained as he walked towards you.

“So, what I’m hearing is you can close up shop early and we can watch a movie?” You gave him a playful side eye, hoping he’d agree to your plan.

Namjoon worked too hard. It wasn’t hard to see. He dedicated his life to this shop that was passed down to him by his father. He swore that he’d take the best care of the shop and he kept true to his promise. He was the best florist in the city. Maybe you were a bit biased with your opinion, but it was true.

“I can’t do that, flower.” He sighed.

“You’re the boss, Namjoon. You can do whatever you want.”

“True, but I’d like to make at least 300,000₩ more before I close.” He admitted.

You quickly began searching the shop for the most expensive plants you could find, causing Namjoon to laugh as he chased after you.

“You’re not going to buy a bunch of plants just so I can close early.” He laughed.

“Says who? I’m a paying customer and you’re not my boss.” You giggled.

“How about we hang out here for one more hour and if no one comes in, I’ll close early, and we can go see a movie.” He suggested.

“Deal!” You agreed happily as you ran behind the counter to put your coffee away.

For the next hour, you kept watch over the front of the shop and made sure to water the plants that needed it while Namjoon finished up his tasks in the back. As expected, the shop hadn’t been visited by anymore guests for the day as the rain began to fall. You were so focused on watching the raindrops that you hadn’t noticed Namjoon sneak up behind you.

“I have a surprise for you.” He said softly.

You felt your face heat up as you turned to face him. He stood with a large bouquet of red roses. The card attached read “For my flower. From Namjoon”.

“These are beautiful.” You smiled as you realized that this is what he needed to work on. You could see just how much effort and attention he put into it. His arrangements were always so beautiful, but so much love went into the one he made for you, and it was clear as day.

“Anything for you.” He smiled, repeating your words from earlier. “Now, how about we close up and go watch a movie?”

“That sounds perfect.”

Once the shop was secured, Namjoon held his umbrella over both of your heads while one arm rested around your shoulder. As the two of you made your way to his apartment, you couldn’t help the happiness building in your chest. You needed no further confirmation. It was never about the destination. As long as the two of you were together, the ride could last as long as it needed to.

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Kim Namjoon Imagine Masterlist

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Genre: Fluff 💜, Angst ☔️, Crack 💀, Horror 👻

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Flower (Request) 💜