Slight Angst - Tumblr Posts

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[Resident Evil: Village] Bela Dimitrescu x Female Reader

Word Count: 10k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Angst, panic attacks, and mentions of not feeling good enough.

[A/N]: This is probably the longest story I've written for Tumblr so far, so I hope you'll enjoy it! I'm really proud of how this one turned out. Individual stories for Cassandra and Daniela will be posted soon as well!

Enjoy!

Maids all parted to the sides as they worked, worried of their safety if they got in the way of all three Dimitrescu sisters as they made their way towards the entrance of the parlor. The three women chatted amongst one another with soft smiles as they grew closer to the door. They had cleaned themselves up a moment ago, making sure their cloaks and dresses were presentable, their hair was thoroughly brushed, and the large stains of blood, that often was an accompanying, trademark feature that adorned their faces, were washed off. As they stepped into the outdoors, warm, bright sunlight beamed down against their fair skin, followed by a gentle breeze that made the leaves of the trees surrounding them rattle lightly.

Bela couldn’t help but sigh at the calm, welcoming feeling of the weather. It was early into Spring, meaning she and both of her younger sisters, Cassandra and Daniela, were finally able to leave the safety of their home without the risk of freezing to death. Three pairs of golden eyes scanned over the landscape surrounding them as they continued to make conversation with one another. The soft blades of grass, once dried and pale shades of gray and black that had died out from the heavy piles of snow and harsh, bitter cold, were now beginning to flourish into a vibrant green. Leaves that littered the floor and clung to the branches of the blossoming trees mirrored the colors of the grass, and were beginning to grow lush and more abundant.

Slowly beginning to tune her sisters out, Bela’s eyes trailed up from the land and gazed up at the sky. Once dark and gloomy with heavy clouds crowding the sky, threatening to pour rain or snow, were clearing up enough to reveal a bright, vast blue sky. The sun planted itself somewhere above, often nestled behind the thin, pale clouds. It brought a smile to the eldest daughter’s face. The scenery alone was comforting to her. She glanced back over at her sisters, who laughed at a joke shared between each other. A wider smile tugged at the corner of her lips, a feeling of contentment washing through her body.

Each year, after her mother, Alcina, was sure that the weather was nice enough to leave for a while, she’d let them head out to the village to shop around for whatever they might’ve needed. Often, Daniela and Bela went to the Duke’s shop to look for new books, although they were typically of different genres, and their sister Cassandra tended to wander around and look for better materials she could use when hand-crafting new weapons to add to her personal collection. They were each given a decent amount of Lei to purchase what they could and avoid going over-the-top. “If you splurge too much, how will you carry everything home?” She often asked when Daniela would ask for more of an allowance.

The three of them had been going there consistently any time the weather was decent enough, and although the majority of the people in the village feared them, there were a few people who didn’t mind talking to them.

One of them, a young woman who was often searching for books in the same place as her and Daniela, had caught Bela’s attention. No matter what had happened during the day, she always seemed to be so welcoming and gleeful when it came to talking to Bela. Although the eldest daughter was usually too anxious to approach her and speak to her first, it was nice to watch as she excitedly talked with Daniela about the books they would read. She couldn’t help it–the girl had certainly piqued her interest. Even just thinking about her would make her smile and cause her heart to flutter with excitement. And hearing her own name–although just being able to hear her voice in general was good enough–roll so easily off of her tongue made her internally swoon.

Yes, [Y/N] [L/N], a young woman whose family had moved into the village only a few years ago, had caught the attention of Bela, Alcina Dimitrescu’s oldest and more formal daughter, almost immediately. She couldn’t help but stare at her as her soft locks of hair gently fluttered with each gentle gust of wind. The way her cheeks turned a shade of red or pink as she laughed–the way her lips would perk up with each smile or hearty laugh. She felt like had just won or accomplished something anytime one of those grins were sent in her direction or caused by a small joke she wasn’t aware anyone had even heard.

She often found herself lying awake in bed at night, staring at the ceiling as she thought about [Y/N]. Her teeth would often bite down and hook against her bottom lip as she bit back small squeals. She had heard of the stories Daniela would read about women falling in love and acting fidgety and flustered. She used to tease her for finding those stories realistic or captivating, but after being able to talk with [Y/N] so often when she would leave the castle, she understood–she would act that way anytime [Y/N]’s name was even mentioned. Her sisters loved to tease her relentlessly for it. As much as she wanted to snap back with some clever retort, she couldn’t help but admit that she felt something for the girl. She’d smile and blush uncontrollably each night as she’d cradle one of her pillows against her chest and picture it as [Y/N]’s smaller form.

A wide smile that made it feel like her face was splitting often painted her lips whenever she so much as thought of the girl.

“Earth to Bela, are you in there?” Finally pulled from her thoughts, Bela blinked to find Cassandra’s hand waving in her face to grab her attention. She looked over at her, her bewilderment evident on her face. “O-Oh, I apologize. I didn’t realize I had started daydreaming,” she muttered with a soft tone. Knowing smirks planted themselves on Daniela and Cassandra’s faces as they snickered. “What’s so funny?” Bela could feel her face burning up, already aware of what they were thinking. She tried to force the tone of her voice to sound assertive rather than defensive, but it was to no avail. “Oh look, Cass, it seems our dear, sweet sister Bela has a crush,” Daniela cooed as she leaned against her other sister’s shoulder and pretended to whisper to her. Cassandra’s own grin seemed to mirror the youngest daughter’s as she leaned over and acted in a similar manner–whispering “secretly” about their sister’s interest.

“Oh, I agree, Daniela. I wonder, though,” she hummed, tapping her chin with her index finger and letting her eyes wander upwards to appear as though she was pondering something. She and Daniela quickly glanced at one another and giggled. They swarmed to float in front of Bela, who was desperately trying to move past them and avoid the teasing she had already been enduring since the two learned of her feelings. She groaned. “Whoever could it be?” Cassandra questioned sarcastically. “Oh yes, I would like to know as well,” Daniela added just as mockingly. She leaned down, her solid form dissolving anytime Bela attempted to pat her backwards. “Tell us, dear sister, who is it that has your attention?”

Fed up with the taunting, Bela swarmed out of her own materialized form and flew past them as quickly as she could. They cackled at her reaction and followed her. After a moment of trying to catch up to her, they shifted back into their solid forms before they crossed the gate that led to the village. They looked around, expecting to see that Bela had done the same, but they couldn’t spot her. They laughed with each other.

“I wish she would just approach the girl already,” Daniela mumbled as they walked out towards their usual places to shop. “Me too. It’s exhausting seeing her get so flustered about her, but then never do a thing about it,” Cassandra responded. “I don’t know. I find it endearing, actually! Pining after her so much, I mean. It reminds me of a book I read! It’s about–” Cassandra swarmed up and waved back at her sister. She didn’t want to get stuck listening to Daniela babble about a cheesy romance novel she had read, but she had also spotted a certain metal she had been searching for for ages. “Gotta go!” She flew off quickly before disappearing from sight.

Daniela’s bottom lip stuck out as she pouted, crossing her arms with a huff. “How rude,” she muttered. Her disappointment was very short-lived, however, upon spotting the pile of books the Duke had stacked up in front of his wagon. Her eyes lit up as she dashed towards it with excitement.

A soft sigh of relief slipped past Bela’s lips once she managed to escape her sisters. “Ah, Lady Bela! It’s a pleasure to see you, my dear!” The Duke welcomed her warmly, his free hand motioning towards a small section of books atop of a crate as his other hand pulled a cigar towards his lips. “I’ve left out the books you ordered, as well as a few I thought you might enjoy. Miss [L/N] mentioned one she figured you’d like as well. It should be the bottom book in the left stack.” A hum sounded from Bela in response as she sauntered over to the pile on the wooden crate, though her face burned a soft shade of pink as she finally processed the final part of the sentence.

Quickly, she lifted the top books from the one the Duke had spoken of, placed the stack hastily to the side, and picked it up to examine it. She flipped it over and skimmed through the summary before turning to show it to the merchant who smiled down at her. “This one?” She asked, unable to hold back her excitement. He nodded with a laugh. “Yes, she was quite adamant about paying extra for it to be sent in quickly too!” “Really? Will you let her know I want to thank her?” “Oh, there’s no need for that. She’ll be here in a moment to look through the newer selection I have! You’ll have the perfect opportunity to thank her yourself! I believe she left a note for you as well,” he pondered aloud as he dug in a satchel beside him.

“Aha, here we are!” He pulled a small, folded note from the bag and leaned forward as far as he could to hand it to her. Bela stepped forward with anticipation and slipped the paper from his hand. She tucked the book under her arm as she delicately unfolded the note and read through it.

Lady Bela,

I know I could’ve simply told you about this book instead of purchasing it with my own money, but I really wanted to surprise you! I really hope you’ll enjoy it. It’s sort of similar to the last few you read that we spoke about, although I’m sure Daniela would enjoy it as well, possibly even more!

It’s mainly about what you enjoy reading–the history of how this village came to be with insight on different points of views–but it also includes a bit of romance that was a huge deal several years ago. I’m sure your sister would love that. It would certainly give her something to chat about with you and Cassandra, even though Cass seems to find romance…dull?

Ah, I’m not sure how to phrase it, but either way, this book is a quick read, and I’m sure you’ll love it. It can even give us something to chat about the next time we bump into each other!

Yours truly,

[Y/N] [L/N]

Her face went red at the girl’s kind consideration. That, and the small doodles of hearts that lined the page. She hadn’t realized just how wide the grin on her face had gotten until she heard the Duke chuckling from his seat. Glancing up, she saw him draw a puff from his cigar with a knowing look. “Well, you’re positively glowing, my dear,” he mumbled. Bela felt her face growing warmer as she turned away to hide it, earning another hearty laugh from behind her.

“I do hope you can pull yourself together quickly though. It seems your little gift-giver is headed this way now.” The woman felt herself jolt and spin on her heel to stare behind her. Sure enough, [Y/N] was headed towards the merchant’s cart. Bela felt her breath hitch in her throat once her gaze trailed across the young woman’s features.

Wearing her usual, welcoming smile, [Y/N] was growing closer to the stand. Her ankle boots clacked softly along the dirt path. The skirt she wore was flowing with the gentle breeze that lightly blew her hair as well. She wore a thin, knitted sweater, which she kept tucked into the waistline of her shirt. Her sleeves were littered with small patches of flowers and birds that she had stitched in herself, though they were cast in a soft shadow from the sunhat that adorned her head.

Bela’s heart hammered against her ribs as her now unsteady gaze studied [Y/N]’s face: The way her delicate eyes slightly squeezed themselves shut in glee, her brows lifting and furrowing together just barely to make her nose scrunch up a bit. Her soft lips stretched upwards into a wide smile as she waved towards one of her neighbors down the path. Finally, her eyes fluttered open, and the eyes that Bela often found herself unknowingly gazing into were now peering up at her through her lashes.

She wasn’t sure if her mind was playing tricks on her, but Bela could’ve sworn [Y/N]’s smile only grew wider once they finally made eye contact with one another. “Lady Bela!” She yelled as she quickened her pace. After a moment of lightly jogging, [Y/N] stood in front of Bela, who was now trembling and screaming at herself internally to clear her throat and regain her composure. “It’s so nice to see you again!” Her eyes scanned down to find the note jittering in the flustered woman’s grasp.

“Is…everything okay?” Her expression, carefree and excited just moments ago, was now lightly dampened to appear concerned. Oh, how Bela wanted to crush that feeling. She could feel her heart throbbing uncomfortably in her chest, though she managed to squeak out a quiet, “Yes.”

[Y/N] stepped a bit closer, her hand lifting and gently planting itself on Bela’s, which jerked slightly at the contact. “It wasn’t because of my note, was it? Oh, I shouldn’t have been so weird about it. I-I’m sorry–” “No!” It was [Y/N] who jumped from surprise that time, though Bela seemed equally, if not more, shocked by her own reaction. “Ah, I mean,” she mentally slapped herself for stammering, quickly clearing her throat and running her free hand down her face.

“I-I didn’t mean to yell, I apologize. But no, it wasn’t your note, I promise. Something’s just,” she stopped herself, doing her best to ignore the silent snickering from the Duke. With a shake of her head, she managed to finally smile. “Nothing’s wrong.” [Y/N]’s head tilted a bit as she studied her expression, which she was sure was pathetic: she could feel her lip quivering, though [Y/N] didn’t comment on it. “Alright,” she mumbled cautiously.

“Anyway, are you about to head back home?” A spark zapped itself through Bela’s veins, the crimson color once again rushing to her face. “Uh,” she started, struggling horrendously to maintain eye contact.

“No, not quite yet, I,” she glanced up at the Duke, who nodded. “I actually just got here myself. I barely finished reading your note before I saw you. M-My sisters will probably be looking around for a while though, so I’ll have to find a way to occupy myself until they’re ready to leave.” [Y/N] nodded, offering that damned smile Bela couldn’t seem to get enough of. “Why–um–why do you ask?” “Oh, I was just curious. I wasn’t sure if your sisters were here with you today or not,” came [Y/N]’s reply.

A soft sigh slipped past Bela’s lips. It wasn’t until [Y/N]’s hand lifted upwards and towards her torso that she realized it was still resting on her own. She froze, though quickly felt her tensed muscles relax once she realized [Y/N] had only reached forward to slip the book out from under her arm. “Ah, I see you got the book I ordered! Did you read the summary yet? What did you think?” The same fuzzy feeling that Bela often felt making itself known in her chest was returning upon seeing how passionate [Y/N] was about the book.

The fact that she had hand-picked the book with only her interest in mind, and used her own money to pay for it, made Bela feel so special. She realized something after a moment.

“Oh, um, speaking of the book, I’d like to pay you back for it.” “Oh, you don’t have to do that!” “I-I feel like I should. I mean, I know you and the other villagers don’t have much money, and I wouldn’t want you to go broke over,” she halted, a horrified look crossing her features, “this…” Quickly, she waved her hands dismissively in front of her, desperately trying to take back her words. “N-No, wait, that’s not what I meant! Oh god, I just meant that–” An amused giggle interrupted her spewing of words. She hid her reddened face in her hands with a groan as [Y/N] seemingly laughed at her misery.

Her fingers parted to look through once a light, warm hand gently rubbed her arm. “It’s okay, I know what you were trying to say, you dork.”

Had anyone else been the one to call her that, they would’ve been ripped apart relentlessly. Hearing it come from the girl she found herself pining for, however, made it seem much more lighthearted, and more of a compliment than anything. She grinned sheepishly, letting her hands slip from her face and weave themselves together anxiously in front of her torso. “I’m glad,” was all she could say.

“But seriously, you don’t have to pay me back for it. The Duke and I worked out a bit of a deal,” [Y/N] reassured, turning her head slightly to nod to the man still glancing at them. “Oh? And what’s that?” A sudden, familiar voice questioned. Bela growled once her youngest sister made her presence known. Daniela slid to stand beside her and [Y/N], whose face lit up once again. “Dani, hey!” Her hand slid from Bela’s arm, making her frown, allowing her to throw her arms around the youngest Dimitrescu and pull her into a tight embrace.

Daniela laughed warmly and hugged her back. She eventually stepped away once she saw how hurt Bela seemed. “What deal did you work out with him, hm?” She asked, changing the tone.

“Oh, I just agreed to help him deliver most of his packages in return for a discount on the book,” [Y/N] explained. “Yes, and quite a delivery-gal she is! She must’ve taken care of over half of my stock within a day,” the Duke added. “Quite efficient.”

[Y/N] laughed bashfully, scratching at the back of her neck. “Well, I really did just want the discount, but it was also nice to help out! I got to talk to a few of my friends that I hadn’t spoken with in a while. It was a win-win situation.” Bela smiled softly at her, though she wasn’t enjoying [Y/N]’s attention being torn away from her so much. How she wished she could take her far away to a calm, secluded place where they only had each other. It was selfish, and she was aware of that, but it was so hard for her to talk to [Y/N]. And now that she finally had a relatively steady conversation going, more or less, the Duke and her own sister were stealing that from her.

Already, she could feel herself crumbling away, a feeling she was far too familiar with. She felt her arms slide up to hold herself as she watched the woman she loved seem so much happier with anyone but her. She knew it was just her insecurities eating away at her confidence and any sense of logic, but because she hadn’t known the feeling in that situation well enough, she wasn’t sure how to fight it off or ignore it.

As if the world hadn’t already been cruel enough to her sensitivity, Cassandra flew over and struck up a conversation as well.

She knew that even if she had a chance of “courting” this girl and bringing her into her home, she’d have to adjust to the fact her sisters would also be there to talk with her. The overwhelming feeling of needing to be perfect, however–something that seemed to be built into her mindset–was diminishing the logical side of things. Her mind was telling her that [Y/N] wasn’t devoting her attention solely to her because she wasn’t good enough–she wasn’t perfect enough.

Maybe if she seemed more confident and casual, then maybe, just maybe, [Y/N] would seem as interested in her as she was–maybe the feeling would be mutual. Her mind started to wander and race, rendering her hearing useless as she tuned the rest of the world out.

At length, a hand, the same hand that had grounded her into reality just moments ago, returned to her arm. She blinked once, twice, and finally a third before her focus returned. The Duke, Daniela, Cassandra, and [Y/N] were all staring at her now, and even though Cassandra always tried to seem harsh, she was visibly concerned.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

[Y/N]’s hand drove itself upwards and turned, allowing the back of her knuckles to gently come into contact with Bela’s forehead. “Are you sick? Can…” She turned to Daniela and Cassandra. “Can you even get sick?”

Bela cleared her throat, fighting to stay in the present as she took [Y/N]’s hand into her own before brushing it off of her clammy skin. “I’m fine, I promise.” Before the others had a chance to press her further, she felt her legs swarming into the flies that made up her being, allowing her to lift her weight up off the ground. “I have to go.”

With that, she raced desperately back towards the castle, her lungs tightening to a painful degree and her hand shaking harshly as she struggled to keep a grip on the note she hadn’t even realized she was still in possession of.

“Oh gosh,” Daniela murmured. Concerned, [Y/N] turned to Cassandra and Daniela, only to find them staring off at where Bela had disappeared. After a long moment, they glanced at each other, mirroring expressions of guilt and worry. “Guys?” They finally turned to her, and their faces shifted to slight sorrow. “Is she okay?”

Weakly, Daniela smiled and stepped in front of her, gently squeezing her shoulder before nodding to Cassandra, who reciprocated the motion. “She’ll…be okay. We’ll talk to you later, alright?” [Y/N] couldn’t even respond before the two women in front of her flew off, carrying the books that Bela had left behind. She was silent, her stomach turning with the fear that she had done something wrong. With great difficulty, she swallowed the lump in her throat and clutched at her knitted sweater, anxiously looking towards the Duke for an answer.

He could only muster a shrug with a look of pure sympathy, unsure how to lighten the mood.

 “Bela!” Daniela hollered out as she shoved the parlor doors open. “Bela, where’d you go?” She was well aware her eldest sister could hear her with ease, but she also knew she likely wasn’t going to get a response. There had only been a few times she had gotten this upset, and she always seemed to find a different place to hide away in, clearly not wanting to be found until she had gathered herself.

“Dani, maybe we should just give her some space this time,” Cassandra mumbled uncharacteristically. Shaking her head stubbornly, Daniela turned to her, looking at her as if she were crazy. “We can’t do that, Cass. You’ve seen how she gets when she gets too far into her own head. We have to help her snap out of it one way or another. Do you really want to see her secluding herself this way and hurting herself even more?” Cassandra could only sigh as she thought to herself. “You know I don’t, but what if she just needs to figure this out for herself?”

“Cass, do you really think she can figure something like this out in her state? You saw her back in the village: it looked like she couldn’t even hear or see anyone around her until someone spoke to her.” She sucked in a steadying breath. “And if you won’t try to help her with me, then I’ll find a way to cheer her up on my own.” Halfway through her sentence, Daniela had flown up above the cold, slick tile beneath her, and as she let out her final phrase, she dashed up the stairs to begin her search for Bela.

“Daniela, wait!” Cassandra called out after her. It was clear she wasn’t going to get through to her younger sister either way, especially with how stubborn she was with these kinds of situations. She glanced down at the ground beneath her and caught her own reflection in the polished stone. Grumbling, she found herself flying after Daniela up the stairs. “Goddammit, Dani, you’d better know what you’re doing.”

Bela knew it was only a matter of time before her sisters found her. At that moment, however, she didn’t care. The sheer panic and depression was weighing heavy upon her shoulders as she curled even further into herself. She had tucked herself away in the corner of one of the rooms just above the ballroom, wriggling herself uncomfortably in between the tight space that rested in the middle of the Labyrinth structure and the wall. She couldn’t help the weeping that wracked throughout her body.

She knew how ridiculous it was to be sobbing over something so small, but her insecurities were a demon in her mind that only seemed to grow larger with each conversation she shared with [Y/N].

Her fingers dug into the fabric of her cloak’s hood, yanking it harshly over her head to shield her face from the outside world. She could feel her entire body trembling, making it hard to breathe or think properly. Why was she so selfish? [Y/N] had every right to talk to others. After all, they weren’t together.

They never would be.

Her heart stopped beating momentarily as two sets of footsteps landed harshly in front of her. She gasped roughly, her breathing ragged as she lifted her hood up to peer at the intruders: it was none other than her two sisters, Daniela and Cassandra. She tried so desperately to scream at them for startling her so badly, but her mouth refused to form the words.

“Dani, you can’t just rush in on her like that!” Cassandra hollered. She glanced over at Bela, whose eyes were filled with pure terror. She felt herself gasp softly before tugging Daniela to the side and lowering her voice to a whisper. “Give her some space. She’s having a panic attack.” Daniela shifted her body to turn and peer at Bela from over her shoulder, finding the blonde trembling unbelievably harshly, her breathing coming out in harsh rasps.

“Shit, what do we do?” Cassandra sighed, slowly turning around to face Bela. “Just…stay here and don’t do anything stupid. I know how to deal with this.” “You do? How?” “That’s not important. Just don’t get too close to her.” “Fine, but we’re having a talk later on.”

Slowly, Cassandra trudged to plant herself a reasonable distance away from her sister, who still had tears pouring across her cheeks like rivers. She crouched down and sat on the floorboards that creaked softly underneath her. “Bela,” she started, her tone almost at a whisper. “Can you hear me?” Bela’s eyes shot over to her, seemingly landing on her but not finding the source. Her eyes flickered in a panicked manner as if she were reading a script right in front of her, yet so far into the distance as well. A subtle nod was her answer after a moment.

“I want you to try to breathe with me, okay? Just three deep breaths, that’s it. Can you do that?”

Again, a small, delayed nod was her response.

Cassandra took in her first deep breath, making sure she did so loud enough for Bela to hear. Although she struggled and her breath was staggered, Bela managed to repeat what her sister did. “Good, just two more,” Cassandra whispered.

She sucked in another breath, watching as her older sister mimicked her actions. She made sure to hold her breath for a second before letting it out just as slowly. “You’re doing great. One more, okay?” She could see Bela’s hazy eyes slowly starting to clear.

Breathe in.

Hold it.

Breathe out.

Finally, Bela blinked normally, her breathing somewhat back to where it was when she had been calm. “Good. I want you to focus on your breathing for a moment. Try to do it how we just did, alright?” She nodded, this time almost immediately. One of her hands, still clutching her hood, dropped down to her chest, allowing herself to feel it rising and falling with each breath. Finally, she could feel the tingling sensation in her limbs starting to subside ever-so-slightly.

“May I move closer?” Cassandra questioned cautiously.

Again, Bela nodded, still unable to speak.

Cassandra inched towards her slowly, making sure Bela knew she could tell her when to stop if she still needed some space. “Can you see me?” Bela nodded. “Good.” Surprisingly, Cassandra was able to sit herself down directly in front of her sister without much of a reaction. “Okay, let’s take things slow. Let me know if I need to move away,” she instructed softly. “What do you hear?” Bela seemed to focus for the first time in what felt like hours, straining her ears to hear past the ringing. “Your voice. You and Daniela’s heartbeat. T-The birds outside the window.” “Good job. Can you tell me what you can see?”

“Y-You and Dani, a-and my…my,” her eyes trailed down, a small folded sheet of paper catching her attention. Almost instantly, images flashed through her mind and her breathing started to quicken again. “Okay, okay,” Cassandra did her best to remain calm so as to not freak out her sister even more. “Hey, just look at me, alright? Everything’s okay.” She leaned forward, attempting to reach out and grab the note, but Bela was quick to shove her backwards. “Don’t touch it!”

Cassandra obliged, holding her hands up in surrender. “I won’t touch it, I promise. See? I’ll move away a bit.” She scooted backwards to increase the distance between her and Bela once again. “Let’s move on from that, alright? What do you smell?”

Bela looked at her, her eyes full of skepticism and a mix of fear and sorrow. She hesitantly managed to take in another deep breath, the scents around her greeting her. “I can smell the dust from the shelves,” she mumbled, her nose scrunching up. Daniela stepped forward slowly and sat next to Cassandra. “I guess we’ll have to make sure the maids aren’t slacking off again,” she joked in an equally soft tone. A gentle smile finally painted Bela’s lips in amusement. “I-I…suppose so.”

“What can you taste?” Bela grimaced once more. “My tears.” Daniela frowned, but looked towards Cassandra, who nodded. The two of them carefully moved closer, both holding out a hand. Shakily, Bela’s hands lifted themselves and rested on top of her sisters’. “What can you feel?” Daniela asked. Bela’s fingers stretched out far enough to wrap themselves around her sisters’ hands, squeezing them gently.

“The two of you. I can feel your hands in mine.”

Cassandra and Daniela both sighed from relief when they heard their eldest sister finally let out a small laugh. “Can you take three more deep breaths for me?” Bela nodded, and both of her sisters joined in on her breathing.  After the third, they smiled fondly at each other.

“Th-Thank you. Both of you.” “You don’t have to thank us. You’re our sister, silly. We love you.” Daniela moved forward and pulled her sister into a hug. Cassandra almost scolded her for it, but relaxed when she saw that Bela didn’t mind. She was eventually pulled into the embrace herself, though she didn’t make a fuss this time. They stayed that way until Bela finally felt calm enough to lean back.

 With a sniffle, the blonde glanced down and picked up the note from her lap. “I suppose I should go apologize to [Y/N] for acting so…weird.” “Nope,” Daniela quipped, standing and offering her hand to help her sister stand. “Nuh uh, not until we know you’re calm enough. Think about what you wanna say before you go embarrass yourself. Like usual.” Cassandra scowled and elbowed her sister in the arm, making her wince but laugh. Bela laughed with her and took her hand, letting herself be pulled up onto her feet. “You’re right about thinking it through, though. Why don’t you write down what you wanna say so you can kind of rehearse it?” Cassandra offered, watching with a grimace as Daniela’s eyes lit up.

“Ooh, that’s a lovely idea! Oh, you should write her a letter! I mean, she already wrote one for you, even though it was just about a book, but still!” “Dani, that’s–” The brunette thought for a moment. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Man, I didn’t know you could actually have a good idea in that tiny brain of yours,” she mocked, ruffling the redhead’s hair. “Hey! That’s not true! I’m plenty smart, right Bela?”

Bela looked between them before laughing. Cassandra snickered at her reaction as Daniela pouted, though she looked confused once her oldest sister’s hand planted itself gently atop her head. “Yes, you’re a bright girl, Dani. Especially when it comes to romance.”

She looked up, freezing when she saw how shocked her sisters looked. “Uh…” Daniela squealed again, bouncing up and down on her toes as she hugged Bela. “Romance? Ah, you mean you’re gonna write a letter of confession?” For the first time since the whole ordeal, Bela’s face went beet red. “N-No, I was just–! Ugh, Cass, a little help here?” There was no response. “Cass…?” She looked up to see her sister faking a tear. “Oh, they grow up so fast,” she said teasingly. “Wh–I’m older than both of you!” “Hey, that’s not official! Mother Miranda never said who was the oldest!”

Cassandra finally laughed, her expression shifting to one of sincerity. “No, but in all seriousness, Bela, I don’t think writing her a letter to confess is a bad idea at all. I mean, as long as you hand it to her and actually wait for her response instead of flying away like a wimpy man-thing from one of Dani’s novels.” “Hey!” Bela also had a look of offense written on her features, though it was clear that hers was fake. “How dare you compare me to a man-thing from Daniela’s cheesy romance novels?”

“Bela, not you too!”

A soft, almost silent sound of a pencil furiously scribbling against paper was the only sound that could be heard from Bela’s bedroom. For the past few hours, after eating a healthy dinner and spending time with her family, Bela finally had a clear mind. As the rest of her family headed off to bed, she stayed awake at the study in her room, working on writing the perfect letter of confession to hopefully give to [Y/N] before the weather got too harsh again. There were crumpled up pieces of paper strewn about the desktop and the floor surrounding her, though she could feel the growing number of them would come to a halt soon.

She could sense that she was so close to writing the perfect letter. At first, she had tried to write a longer note, though Cassandra’s sarcastic remarks about turning into a cliche, smitten poet put an end to those drafts. She tried making it as short as possible, but Daniela’s whining about it not being emotional or expressive enough had her tossing those to the side as well. She wasn’t sure how to properly write a letter in this form, it just wasn’t her. She was never good with expressing any emotion other than anger towards outsiders. Daniela was the expert when it came to flirting and being romantic about different gestures. That’s why she had her youngest sister help her out the most.

Cassandra, although she didn’t understand why she was so adamant about the letter being perfect, understood that it meant a lot to her sister that everything went smoothly, even if her confession was rejected. She put it upon herself to pretty up the garden, more specifically Bela’s favorite spot to read and just think to herself. It surprised her most of all that she hardly asked the maids to help her tidy things up, though she figured it was just because she wanted it to look perfect for her sister.

A swift knock sounded from the door, making Bela jump in her seat. “Come in,” she called out after recognizing the pattern of the knock. Daniela pushed the door open and strolled inside, Cassandra trailing after her. “How’s it coming along?” The youngest asked as she leaned against the desk. Bela looked up, ready to answer, but instead found herself snickering at Cassandra, who scowled.

“Cass, what on earth did you do? You’re covered in flowers and grass and dirt,” she questioned with a laugh. Cassandra’s eyebrows raised and she frantically started picking off stray petals and twigs that peppered her cloak. “Dani! Why didn’t you say anything?” Daniela laughed as well, making her sister fume. “I’m sorry, you just look so funny like that! I wanted Bela to see.”

“Ugh, I hate you both. But if you must know, I was out in the garden making sure your favorite spot looks nice enough for when you bring [Y/N] here to confess.” Bela blushed, the grip on her pencil tightening. “Wait, really? I…” She looked down at the letter Daniela had been helping her write the past few hours. “I really can’t thank the two of you enough. I never expected either of you to care this much about me confessing to her.”

“Hey, we’re your sisters!” Daniela chirped. “We want to see you happy! Plus, [Y/N] is really cool. Having her as a sister-in-law sounds amazing!” Cassandra smirked. “Yeah, she could listen to your banter about your stories in my place.” Daniela sneered playfully at her before looking back down at Bela. “Ah, I think you two are putting too much faith into this. There’s still the possibility that she’ll reject me after all.” “Who, [Y/N]? Nah, I can’t see her doing that. She seems to really like you,” Daniela reassured. Cassandra hummed and nodded in agreement.

“Well, yeah, but after that whole…incident in the village?” “Nuh uh uh, you’re getting in your own head again. Don’t do that. Just try to imagine everything going perfectly! I don’t think [Y/N] is–no, actually, I know she’s not the type to hold something like that against you. She was actually really, really concerned when you ran off. Well, flew off, but–” “Dani, stay on one point, oh my god.” Bela laughed at Cassandra’s remark.

“I guess you’re right.”

“‘Course I am! Now, how’s the letter coming along?” Bela sighed, signing her name at the bottom quickly. “Ooh, bold move,” Daniela murmured. “Daniela, she’s going to be standing directly in front of her when she hands it to her. I don’t see how that’s bold.”

Cassandra walked towards the desk, leaning over to be eye-level with her eldest sister, who looked nervous. “Oh, and Dani and I will be nearby to make sure you don’t fly off before she can tell you how she feels. You aren’t leaving this time.” Bela forced a smile, not wanting to comment on how creepy what her sister had just said sounded. “Right, well…what do you think?” She picked up her letter, blowing off the eraser shavings before handing it back to her youngest sister, who skimmed over it rather quickly. She was met with a squeal.

“Oh, this is so romantic! And you took my suggestion about adding the figurative language! She’s going to love this, I just know it!” Bela beamed at her sister’s reaction, pleased with what she had managed to write. “But you aren’t going to leave it in pencil, are you?” “Oh, no, I was going to go over it again with one of my pens before I get some sleep. That way it’ll have time to dry so I can erase the pencil markings underneath.” “Ah, smart.”

Daniela hummed, tilting her head as she glanced over the letter again. Bela felt her confidence falter at this, making her nervously ask what was wrong. “Oh, nothing’s wrong, I just think you could…spruce it up a bit, y’know?” She gasped, reaching towards one of the pens on the desk. “I know! You could add hearts around the edges like she did with hers!”

Bela’s face went red and she snatched the sheet of paper back before any further markings could be made. “Dani, I’m not–wait, how did you know she did that?” Daniela appeared nervous now, scratching her cheek anxiously. “Ah, well, I might’ve slipped it from your pocket while we were eating and then read it while I was in the library.” “Dani!” “I’m sorry! I just couldn’t help myself.”

Frantically, Bela searched her pockets for the note, only for her youngest sister to laugh shyly and pull it out from her own. With a relieved sigh, Bela snatched it from her hand and cradled it against her chest. “God, I hope this goes well.”

“It will! You just have to put more faith in [Y/N]! And, of course, my expertise in romance,” Daniela cooed while playfully wiggling her eyebrows. Bela couldn’t help but laugh, looking back towards the letter she had written once again resting on the desk. Hesitantly, she took a pen from its resting spot in her small metal bin and dipped it in ink. With a shaky hand, she brought the tip of the pen to land just beside her signature, slowly drawing a single heart.

It may not have been what Daniela was wanting her to do, but it was hers. It was Bela’s heart now printed on the letter she had written out of love.

Morning came sooner than Bela had wanted. The bright sunlight crept through the blinds shielding her window, caressing her face and stirring her awake. She groaned and slowly sat up, staring down silently as she watched the covers fall, internally hoping her sisters had done their part for the day already. They had told her they’d head into the village before she woke up to let [Y/N] know Bela had requested to see her in the afternoon. If they had, then she only had a few hours to prepare.

First, she went out to the garden to make sure everything was neat and clean. She was surprised to see how much more beautiful Cassandra had made it seem than before. The pearly white lattice archway that led to her most cherished spot had been washed, removing all of the mud and stray cobwebs. A series of different roses found throughout the garden now wrapped themselves nicely around the wooden frame, helping it appear more natural. Past the archway, the soft, vibrantly green grass had been neatly trimmed. The weeds that had shoved themselves in between the stones that encircled her favorite tree had been removed, and the bench nearby had been polished and thoroughly cleaned.

Secondly, she headed back upstairs to make sure the ink had dried from the night before. She was relieved to find that it had, and she quickly but gently erased the pencil markings beneath the bold strokes. Daniela had left a pristine envelope next to it with a wax stamp print in the shape of a heart. Bela carefully folded the sheet of paper and tucked it into the envelope, hesitantly melting enough wax to use the stamp and seal it shut.

Finally, she made sure she looked her best. She rummaged throughout the kitchen, much to the confusion of the maids, and fixed herself a healthier alternative to what they had prepared for breakfast. She ate it quickly before heading back upstairs.

She showered swiftly, spraying on her favorite perfume and brushing her teeth and hair. Before applying her makeup, she headed to her wardrobe to search for something to wear. Instead of opening the door to find her different assortments of clothing, she found every shirt, skirt, and pair of pants shoved to one side. All but one set–a pair of black, loose-fitted slacks, a matching pair of flats, and a striking red button-up shirt. On top of the folded pants and underneath the shoes, there was a small, square piece of paper. As Bela lifted it from the shelf, a hair clip with a plastic daisy fell to the floor. Confused, Bela skimmed over the note. Sure enough, this was Daniela’s doing.

Hey, sis! Let me explain why I did this before you come after me. [Y/N]’s only ever seen you in dark clothing, so I thought that would be a nice thing to keep. That way things wouldn’t seem so unnatural! But, I also know how much you love daisies, so I left a hair clip I found of one. I hope you’ll like it. I really think [Y/N] will.

-Your fav sister

Although she was slightly annoyed at how Daniela had chosen her outfit for such an important day, Bela couldn’t help the wide grin that made its way across her lips. Her sister had put so much effort into making sure today was perfect–both of them had. She couldn’t be more grateful for her sisters.

She gently placed the small note on her desk before taking the set of clothes into the bathroom with her to change. Once she was fully dressed, she managed to apply her makeup before someone knocked at the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Cass. Daniela said I should help you with your hair? I don’t know why.” Bela giggled and opened the door. “Uh, probably because you’re the best at braiding and styling things? If you weren’t, the garden wouldn’t look nearly as perfect as it does.”

Cassandra’s face reddened a bit at the sudden compliment, unable to bite back her smile. “Well, either way, we should hurry. [Y/N] should be here in about an hour, and you still need to rehearse what you’re going to say when she gets here.”

Bela nodded, stepping out of the bathroom after grabbing her hairbrush and a few hair ties. She and Cassandra sauntered over to her bed, where she sat on the floor so it’d be easier for her sister. After being handed the brush, Cassandra got to work, quickly weaving Bela’s blonde strands into two neat braids that pulled back a portion of her hair, stretching around the crown of her head. She pulled the remaining hair into a bun, insisting that there aren’t too many loose strands or stray hairs. Finally, she stood and moved to crouch in front of Bela to brush her bangs a bit so they framed her face nicely.

She stepped back, seemingly proud of her work. “There we go,” she declared with a sigh. Bela stood, heading over to the bathroom once more to glance at herself in the reflection. Her eyebrows raised in surprise at how beautiful she looked. Cassandra stepped in and stood beside her, smiling at her reassuringly. The daisy hair clip caught her eye. She picked it up and shook her head with a soft laugh. “Dani, huh?” Bela smiled anxiously. “Yeah, she’s also the one who chose my outfit.”

Cassandra quickly looked over her attire, impressed. “Well, she was right to choose this one. It really suits you.” She stepped forward and slid the clip against Bela’s hair, snapping it gently into place to help reveal more of her face. The two then turned back to the mirror, and Cassandra patted her sister on the shoulder. “You look amazing. I’m sure [Y/N] will agree.”

Trembling once again with fear, Bela did her best to steady her breathing as she waited patiently in the garden. A quick glance up towards the most visible window let her see both of her sisters gazing down at her with comforting smiles, both giving a thumbs up. She smiled, then let her head lean back down to stare at the envelope she held tightly against her chest.

“Bela?”

She jumped immediately. The nerves she had thought were finally settling spiked up again, making her yelp. She took in a deep breath and forced herself to regain her composure before she turned around. Once laying eyes on [Y/N], however, her ability to seem calm and collected faltered. Her breath stuttered in her throat, her face entirely red once again. “[Y/N], holy…you look,” She didn’t want to simply say “beautiful,” it seemed far too vague. She couldn’t quite think of the right word to describe how [Y/N] looked. Would beautiful have to do?

“You look so beautiful,” she finally mumbled as her eyes trailed down to study her outfit. Daniela must’ve chosen her outfit for her as well, seeing as how it had the same color scheme. She wore a black skirt with matching one-inch heels, and a red keyhole blouse, though the color was much more muted. Her hair was down like usual, though it was curled and brushed out to give it a wavy effect. Her face turned a shade of pink as Bela’s words, which complimented the color of her shirt.

“Oh, th-thank you. Daniela said you’d like this outfit, so…” Bela hummed to herself. Of course her sister was the one who chose it–it would’ve been an interesting coincidence if they had separately chosen the same pattern. She smiled.

“It looks incredible on you,” was her soft reply. [Y/N] beamed up at her and shifted her hands to find each other behind her, allowing her to fidget with them. “You look incredible as well.” The two of them smiled at each other, though they quickly looked away sheepishly. A tap at the window above caught Bela’s attention. She glanced up and watched as her sisters motioned for her to continue. Forcing herself to draw in a shaky breath, she cleared her throat and nodded, managing to look back at [Y/N], who hadn’t seemed to notice anything.

She stepped forward, catching [Y/N]’s attention. “So, Daniela said you really wanted to tell me something,” the woman said, almost as if she was asking. Bela nodded and glanced down at the envelope. Before she could let herself back down, she felt her arms thrust forward to hold it out. [Y/N] jumped at the sudden motion, but delicately slipped the offered envelope from the blonde’s trembling hands. She flipped it over, her face turning a darker shade of red as she spotted the heart-shaped stamp.

“I-I’m sure you could tell,” Bela started, wrestling with herself to keep her voice steady, “but I’m not exactly the best at expressing my feelings through verbal words, so…I-I had Dani help me write them down instead. And that’s, um…that’s what’s in this envelope.”

Again, if it were possible, [Y/N]’s face burned brighter, now matching the shade of red that painted Bela’s button-up shirt. She gulped and flimsily slid her fingernail underneath the stamp to scratch it from the thin surface, watching as it popped upwards enough for her to lift the top. She inhaled nervously and pulled the folded sheet of paper from the envelope, which she then looked around for a place to put it down. Bela held her hand out. “I can hold that for you,” she whispered.

[Y/N] nodded and handed it to her. “O-Oh, thank you,” she replied just as quietly. She tugged at the paper to unfold it, her eyes scanning over the finely printed writing that Bela had spent so much time forging.

My dearest [Y/N],

I hope this letter isn’t too forward. I’ve been wanting to express my feelings to you for so long now, ever since we first met three years ago. Do you remember that day? My sisters had bombarded you with questions after seeing us speak to one another about a book the Duke had been selling. I remember your reaction then: you were so timid around them. I can still see it in my mind how red your face had gotten as you tried to keep up with Daniela’s enthused chatter. You looked breathtaking then, just as you still do. Your smile as you laughed nervously is still as charming as it is now. And your eyes, the same ones I’ve found myself dreaming about for countless nights, secretly praying that they’d find my own gaze each time I spotted you in the village.

At first, I was too worried that if I said anything too soon, it would ruin how kindly you spoke to me–that you’d find me strange and never speak to me again. I wanted to give things time to ensure this wasn’t going to be a short-lived infatuation. I can say now that it wasn’t. I still adore you, and I would dare to say I do even more than before. You caught my attention from the moment I saw you scanning through the Duke’s selection of stories.

I may be too bold with this, but I wish I could wake up to those stunning eyes of yours every morning. There’s something in your gaze each time that shows me you don’t view me like most of the other villagers do–like a monster. You see me as a human, and I always find myself falling into a trance when you so much as glance in my direction with that same look of kindness in your eyes. I love everything about you, and although this once again may be too bold, I want you to know that I love you.

I love you inside and out. Words can’t even begin to express the way I feel about you, and if they can, then I suppose I just haven’t found them yet. I don’t expect you to return these feelings, especially considering how awkward I always am around you, but I couldn’t keep it inside of myself any longer. I want you to know how I view you and how I feel about you.

I love you, I truly do.

Forever yours,

Bela Dimitrescu 🖤

[Y/N] watched as a tear slipped from her eye and dripped onto the paper. Her hands shook as she brought the backs of them up to wipe her eyes, sniffling and clearing her throat. Bela, now alarmed at her reaction, stepped forward and gently gripped the woman’s wrists, pulling them down to look her in the eye–the same eyes she had expressed her adoration of in the letter. “Oh, what’s wrong? Was it what the letter said? I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–” “No, no, it’s not that,” [Y/N] interrupted with a giggle. “I mean, it is, but not in a bad way. Your letter was just…so sweet. I-I wasn’t expecting it is all.” She sniffled again, bringing the paper back up to gaze at it with a warm smile.

Bela blushed, glancing down at the letter briefly before letting her focus shift back up to the weeping girl’s face. Her hands slowly moved to hold the girl’s shoulders. “Well, what I said was true. I really do love you, [Y/N]. I’m not sure how you feel about me, but I just had to let you know how I feel about you.”

Again, [Y/N] laughed.

“I didn’t take you as the romantic type, Bela. I always got that vibe from Daniela.” Bela couldn’t help but chuckle with her. She let her hands slide down [Y/N]’s arms, though they stopped at her wrists. She looked up at her as if to ask if it was okay, and when she received a nod accompanied with a loving grin, she let her hands hold [Y/N]’s the way she had been craving to do for years. She couldn’t see it, but her lips had stretched out to a wide smile.

After giving it a moment to kick in, Bela silently cleared her throat and gave [Y/N]’s hands a soft squeeze. “I don’t know how else to ask without it sounding desperate, so I suppose I should just ask right out. Do you feel the same way about me?”

Once again, [Y/N] giggled. “I don’t think it sounds desperate at all. I figured my feelings would’ve been obvious though.” She finally lifted her head enough to gaze into Bela’s eyes like she always did, though there was pure admiration in her steady stare.

“Yes, I love you too, Bela.”

Bela’s breath hitched, tears finally springing free from her eyes. Just as it had yesterday, her heart hammered against her ribs and began to throb. As she let out a small sob, [Y/N] stepped even closer, her soft, warm arms wrapping themselves around her torso and pulling her into a comforting hug. Bela couldn’t help but return the embrace tightly, the desperation she had been showing withering away, showing that her patience had paid off.

“I love you so much,” was all she could whisper before letting the rest of her built up tears fall. “I love you too, Bela. I really do.”

The two stood there, rocking each other back and forth for what felt like hours before they finally pulled back. [Y/N]’s arm slid down to let her offer her hand to hold. Still smiling as widely as before, Bela took her hand into her own, almost whimpering as their fingers interlaced with one another. With a small laugh, [Y/N] tugged her away from the garden and up to the parlor’s entrance, where they both pushed the doors open and headed inside.

Just as she had imagined, Daniela and Cassandra were quick to greet the two. Daniela was bouncing up and down excitedly as she asked all kinds of questions, while Cassandra could only stand there with a proud grin on her lips. She patted Bela on the shoulder while [Y/N] was distracted trying to answer all of the questions the youngest sister had. “I’m proud of you. You didn’t back down this time. And it seems like it paid off, huh?”

Bela glanced over at [Y/N], who was smiling wide enough for her nose to scrunch up, the blush evident on her features as she laughed. Her brows were furrowed slightly, just like they had done the day before. The blonde hummed and beamed just as brightly, turning back to Cassandra.

“Yeah, it really did.”

Pay Attention

[Resident Evil: Village] Daniela Dimitrescu x Female Reader

Word Count: 7.05k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Mentions of Daniela feeling like a burden, general angst-to-fluff, crying, soft pining, worries of delusions, and skipping a meal.

[A/N]: I was wanting to post this a week apart from Cassandra’s, but the WiFi went out and took a few days to fix, so I wasn’t able to work on her part. On top of that, I'm not entirely sure how to write for her character since I only recently started to come up with stories for her.

I had much more planned for this one, but I wanted to keep the word count in between what I had written for Bela and Cassandra, so I shortened a few things.

Also, this will be the last story for the Dimitrescu sisters for a while. Please check my bio for an explanation on that. I'll likely be writing for Amity Blight and Boscha from The Owl House next! Check the poll at the end of this story.

Enjoy!

 “Love can exert the same strain on the body as experienced intense fear. In a person in love, the same physiological reactions are observed: dilated pupils, sweaty palms, an increase in heart rate.” Pure intrigue and fascination sparked its way through Daniela’s body, her molten golden eyes skimming over the lines on the page that seemed to pull her in further with each passing word. A few weeks prior, when she had made her usual trip to the Village to visit the Duke and see what stories he had to offer, he had mentioned a book about facts relating to the human body’s anatomy and physiology–a book of “fun facts,” as he called it. Daniela had taken interest in this immediately and ordered it. During the time that she waited, she pondered about what kind of facts it could contain: whether or not it would mention how the body works when a human is in love.

Although she wasn’t entirely aware of it, there was a part of her mind that always brought her attention back to a certain maid that worked for her family. Anytime she thought of how the body might react to being in love with someone, her mind wandered to [Y/N] [L/N]. She would think of how soft her stare always seemed to be, how relaxed she appeared in the youngest Dimitrescu daughter’s presence. It made her feel as though she trusted her the way she was yearning for.

Subconsciously, she would begin to daydream. At first, it only started at night when she was getting ready to fall asleep after a long day. Over a–rather short–amount of time, however, she found herself staring into the distance at random times, completely in a blissful daze. The smitten woman would think constantly of [Y/N]’s steady gaze, and almost immediately fight to suppress a squeal once remembering how flustered she had gotten each time the two of them made eye contact.

After calming down, she’d dream of [Y/N]’s soft locks of hair that always seemed to frame her face so perfectly, cupping the outlining structure of her cheeks and jaw that she wished she could caress with her own hands. How she envied the way any other maid, or even one of her sisters, would so easily rip her attention away from her. She wished she could find a way to keep [Y/N]’s attention on her, find a way to make her pay attention, in other words.

To ease her growing frustrations, she’d turn her attention to [Y/N]’s lips. Although the young woman hadn’t worked for her family for very long–likely only two years–it didn’t take Daniela long to begin falling for her. Often, she would feel her eyes fluttering shut as she tried to vividly picture herself gaining the privilege to kiss her. She wondered how soft her lips would feel against her own. How warm they would be. Would they welcome her with the same spark of enthusiasm? Or would they freeze against her own before roughly removing themselves from one another?

She was often made fun of for being delusional when it came to romance, always falling back to rely on the romance novels she could be found burying her nose into on multiple occasions every single day. As much as she hoped her love would be reciprocated, she could feel the doubts and insecurities creeping in, wishing she didn’t have to consider the fact that her sisters may be right: she may be delusional about this romance.

Maybe she was making this out to be something so much more in her head.

Blending together and jumbling up her mind only made her daydreaming grow more frequent and harder to tear away from. She found herself retreating to her fantasies out of fear of it being the only way she would be able to hear [Y/N] tell her she feels the same way.

Her sisters would snap her out of it and, of course, tease her for it. It would always leave her flustered as she tried to act as though she wasn’t just fantasizing about her favorite maid, which she had personally requested serve the family for each meal.

She’d hastily make her way through her meal, ignoring the taunting of her older siblings, before excusing herself to fly back up to her room for some kind of privacy. She knew Bela and Cassandra would expect to find her in the library first–if they were to search for her–so she would hide away in her bedroom and distract herself with the stack of books she had stashed away in her wardrobe for such an occasion. Time and time again, she’d think about the book she ordered, increasingly growing fearful that it would only worsen her possibly deluded dreams.

After a while of waiting anxiously to learn more about the human body that always captivated her in more ways than one, the book finally arrived at the Duke’s cart. She paid him as promised and quickly fled back to the castle to read in the comfort of her favorite space, the library, leaving her sisters to continue their shopping on their own.

Thankfully, she had managed to keep her inattentiveness to a minimum. Because of this, she felt it was okay to go back to her sanctum to read, rather than secluding herself in her bedroom.

Brushing past the maids that worked deftly throughout the front parlor and all the way out to the opposite sides of the sturdy structure, Daniela finally made it to the library, where she shut the doors behind her and huddled up on the sofa closest to the center, allowing the large skylight above to provide light for her to read under.

She had curled up against the armrest, tucking one of the throw pillows against her chest and propping her legs up to press it further against her torso. Quickly, she flipped the front cover open and thumbed eagerly at the pages as she began to read the introduction–which opened by explaining how different events trigger different emotions and hormones throughout the brain and body. It was hard for her to suppress a yawn. The way the paragraphs were phrased, including the diction used, seemed more like something her eldest sister Bela would be interested in.

Seemingly countless words filled each pale, thin page, all of which added up to share different messages and facts about the physiological side of emotions. When the Duke had been talking of the book a few weeks prior, he made it seem far more interesting than what she was reading at the beginning. She had pictured interesting facts put together with very few words, short sections of small lists decorating the page with each bulleted point. She did enjoy lengthy novels using flowery language, which often used far more detail than this book had so far, but those had a story building up throughout each turn of a page.

The way the facts were laid out before her made her feel like she was being lectured by Bela.

The paragraphs seemed to stretch on and on. Her eyelids drooped upon feeling heavy, her boredom growing more and more evident across her features.

She sighed, swiftly flipping through the pages using the pad of her thumb, desperately searching for where the more interesting part of the book was. Finally, with a small cheer of triumph, she discovered what she was seeking out for. She smiled gleefully and nuzzled up against the sofa and the pillow. Her body sunk down into the cushions as she finally took interest in the words that rested underneath a large, bold title that read “Facts of the Brain.”

It had started off sharing facts about the brain connected to the nervous, digestive, and integumentary systems, though what truly caught her interest was when it started speaking of how love and romance affected the body. Finally, she found the part of the book she had been fantasizing about for weeks. Each fact drew her deeper and deeper into the pages, her senses tuning out the rest of the world. Her smile cracked wider and wider across her face, and just like she had done before she had even gotten her hands on the book, she pictured the effects taking place in her and [Y/N]’s bodies while dreaming of one day learning that her love was mutual.

Laughter is associated with the positive sides of love that partners share.

The initial stress of a relationship can cause physical symptoms similar to a heart attack, known as Broken Heart syndrome.

Different stages of love exist, with different reactions at the start of a relationship that are different from the ones that they feel when it is a long-term romantic attachment.

Being in love alters our personality and perception of things. We can become more open to things that our lover is into, or we may even become more optimistic about things.

Love leads to the deactivation of the amygdala in the brain, which regulates fear. Thus, you are less scared of outcomes and consequences when in love. You experience a fearlessness and bravery that you wouldn’t usually feel.

Gleefully, Daniela squealed in excitement over all of the new information greeting her. She continued reading, wondering if [Y/N] had ever felt any of these things while around her. She had certainly felt the intensity of her feelings anytime she so much as thought of the girl. Had [Y/N] felt the same?

The urge to share these interesting facts with her family grew stronger in her body. Maybe if she brought it up with her sisters and told them of how she wanted to use the information to finally confess to [Y/N], they would encourage her and help her do so.

Quickly, she stood from her spot on the small sofa. She spun on her heel and practically skipped towards the doors, softly closing the book and tucking it under her arm after folding the corner of the last page she had read. She flung the doors open in front of her, then tugged them shut before letting the lower half of her body swarm back into the flies that made up her being, allowing her to float above the ground and travel quickly down the hall. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to find Bela or Cassandra first. She had heard them come back home a while before, though she wasn’t aware of where they were.

Bela was likely in her study going over the paperwork her mother had given to her, and Cassandra was without a doubt in the armory crafting her newest weapon with the metals she had purchased from the Duke back in the Village. It would be far easier to visit Cassandra first, seen as how she was the closest.

Daniela made her way through the doorway that led to the hallway connecting the main hall’s stairway to the Wine Room. She slid past the balcony, brushing past the maids that seemed to cower back a bit at her presence. She then hooked a right at the end of the walkway, then a left, and went through a few more doors before finally reaching the armory. Just as she had assumed, Cassandra was in there, working away at designing a new dagger she would be able to add to her personal collection. She sat atop the crates stacked against the main pillar in the center of the room. A pen in hand, she sketched out her idea onto a sheet of paper that sat propped up in her lap. She used a thin sheet of wood as a surface to draw on.

She seemed not to have noticed her younger sister walk into the room, and Daniela smiled to herself. She lurked forward silently and hid behind the crates, peering out over the top. With a silent chuckle, she moved to float just behind her sister, sucking in a small breath and readying herself to yell in an attempt to startle her sister.

“Don’t even think about it, Dani,” Cassandra warned without glancing in her direction, continuing to focus on her newest blueprint in front of her instead. Daniela let out the breath she had been holding through a loud sigh, pouting as she crossed her arms and flew to stand in front of her sister. “You’re no fun,” she murmured. “I am so. I’m just working on something. Plus, I don’t think you realize that I was able to hear the door open and close when you came in.”

“It could’ve been Bela or a maid that came in! Why would you assume it was me?”

“Well, Bela wouldn’t have tried to creep up on me, she would’ve waited at the doorway and said my name or cleared her throat to catch my attention. And the maids know they aren’t allowed in here, especially if I’m already here, unless I ask them to polish the armor. I knew it was you. And either way, I could smell you coming from down the hall.”

“H-Huh?”

“Your perfume, Daniela. It’s so strong all the time. Makes me wanna pinch my nose shut every time so I don’t have to smell it. God, are you trying to cover up the smell of all the blood and death on you? Because if you are, it’s not working.”

Daniela could feel her face burning, the blush that had already begun to form on her cheeks out of embarrassment now creeping up onto the tips of her ears. She felt her shoulders tensing up, the grip on both her book and her arm tightening to a painful degree. “Th-That’s not true! I’m not trying to hide anything with my perfume!” She scowled and stared at Cassandra for a moment, although her gaze was not met. Her sister continued to stare down at her sketches, though there was a cocky grin plastered on her face. Daniela scoffed and shook her head.

“That doesn’t matter,” she started again, tugging the book out from under her arm as she once again looked up at her sister. “I wanted to show you this book! It’s full of all kinds of facts about the human body and mind, and I finally got to the part about how love affects the body, and I wanted to–” “I’m not interested, Daniela. I’m busy. And besides, you’re the only one who cares about all of this romance stuff this much. The rest of us are perfectly fine with keeping it to ourselves.”

Daniela frowned, her enthusiasm beginning to crumble in a very visible way. She thought for a moment about what she could say to capture her sister’s attention. “W-Well, I know you don’t really care for my interest in romance novels, b-but I think you’d like the rest of the book! It’s–”

“Daniela, I’m not interested. I don’t care what the rest of the book is about, I don’t want to hear it. If you’re only going to pester me with this when you know I’m busy, then just leave.”

Daniela’s frown only deepened, her gaze dropping down to the floor. “I-I’m…not meaning to bother you, Cass. I’m sorry. I just wanted to share it with someone, and you were the closest one to me, so…” She turned her attention to the book still waiting to be opened again in her trembling hands. She absolutely hated the feeling of being a burden to anyone. Before she could get too deep into her head, however, she began heading towards the door again. Perhaps Bela would be more accepting of her excitement.

She retraced the trail she had taken to find the armory, though she flew downstairs into the main parlor instead. Her arms tugged the book closer to her chest as she soared all the way to Bela’s personal study. There, she made sure to knock before entering.

“Who is it?” Bela asked softly from the other side of the door. “It’s just me,” Daniela replied. Bela sighed. “Come in.” After the confirmation that she could come in, Daniela opened the door and headed inside before closing it behind her. She spun around and walked over to Bela’s desk, where her eldest sister was working away, already buried in paperwork again. “What do you need, Dani? Is something wrong?” Bela briefly glanced up at her before shuffling a few papers, letting out a small sigh when she found the paper she was seemingly looking for.

The youngest daughter stood next to the desk and stared at Bela patiently. “N-No, nothing is wrong. I just…wanted to know if I could share something with you.” The blonde grumbled something under her breath and pinched the bridge of her nose as she leaned back against her chair. “As long as it’s made brief, yes.” Daniela’s frown returned. “Oh, well…” She tapped the front cover of her book, catching Bela’s attention. “Not exactly something brief, but I thought you might like to hear about it. You know…just in case you decide you want something to read later on down the line.”

Bela sighed again, running both of her hands down her face. “Dani, you know I would usually have no issue with you talking to me about your stories, but,” she was cut off as Daniela leaned forward and interrupted her. “But it’s not a story this time! It’s a whole book filled with fun facts about the human body! I think you’ll really like it.”

“Look, that sounds interesting, I suppose. But I’m really busy, and I need to get all of this finished before the end of the week. Which is in three days, mind you, in case you weren’t already aware.” Bela slid forward again and picked up a smaller stack of documents tucked away in files. She thumbed through them, checking the labels for what she was searching for. “If you really must share it with someone, go find Cassandra instead.”

“I already did though. She said I was just irritating her and that I needed to leave while she works on her new weapon. I figured maybe you’d be more interested in it.” Daniela grimaced at a thought that made itself known in the front of her mind. “I’m not…bothering you, am I?” Bela looked up at her finally. “Listen, you know I don’t enjoy being blunt with you, but quite frankly, yes, you’re bothering me. These papers are very important, Dani. I have to focus on them right now.”

Again, Daniela’s confidence began to crumble. Even more so when her sister once again turned back to her work as if it were far more important than her. “Oh, I-I’m…I’m sorry.” She began to back away, unable to tear her eyes away from her feet as they led her backwards. “I didn’t mean to,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

She twirled back to face the door, slipping through it and leaving abruptly. She could feel her insecurities eating away at her self esteem. Tears began to form and prick the corners of her eyes. She let out a small sniffle and began to head out towards the courtyard. “Perhaps mother will listen to me.”

She traveled all the way through the large, open space, grateful that the weather permitted her to do so peacefully. She made it to the structure connected to the space just across the dining room, floating up the stairs, through the doorway, and then turning to go up yet another set of stairs. She then took a few more turns before finally making it to her mother’s chambers. She pressed her ear to the door, smiling weakly when she heard her mother moving around on the other side.

Swiftly, Daniela knocked on the door. “Yes?” Her mother questioned, her tone professional in case it was a maid. “It’s just me, mother. May I come in?” “Of course, dear. Just try to keep your voice down.” Daniela was confused by the last part of her mother’s statement, but she still turned the door’s handle and pushed it forward, allowing her to step inside. She smiled, though it quickly dropped once she saw that Alcina was on the phone, likely with Mother Miranda again.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry, mother. Is this a bad time?” Alcina glanced over at her softly for a moment, though quickly sighed and furrowed her brow. “No, Daniela, it’s not–ah, yes, Mother Miranda. I’m aware. I can assure you that everything will go accordingly.” Daniela made no move to step further, already sensing that she was becoming a burden to yet another one of her loved ones. “I’ll leave you be. I-I’ll see you during dinner,” she mumbled just loud enough for her mother to hear.

She turned and left the room just as Alcina looked back over at her again. “Daniela, wait.” Another sigh. “Mother Miranda, I understand. Yes, I know how important this is to you.”

The entire time she had tried to share her interest in this new book she found, Daniela had been fighting back tears. With each way of saying that she was only being a nuisance, her confidence faltered before shattering into pieces. Now, after bottling it up for so long in hopes of being able to change her attitude, she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They streamed down her face as she rushed back up to her room, locking her door and crawling up against the pillows on her bed.

Until she managed to think things through and calm down, Daniela intended to hide away in the comfort of her bedroom. She wiped at her face, scolding herself for being so emotional for such a ridiculous reason. Her family was simply busy doing their own things–they didn’t owe her the time of day.

But she wanted so badly to share something she was so passionate about with someone. Her excitement had blinded her to the fact that she truly was burdening the others as they tried to work. They were all doing important things, and she was curled up on her bed, sobbing because she wasn’t able to keep the attention on her?

How pathetic.

How selfish.

She sucked in a shaky breath, trying desperately to bring her crying to a halt. It failed, however, as another sob wracked through her body. She whimpered, feeling as though she truly was weak since she wasn’t even able to keep a straight face. She shifted and turned on the bed, burying her face in her pillow as she tossed the book onto the floor. Maybe the plush surface beneath her would muffle the sounds of her vulnerability.

“Lady Daniela? Will you be joining your family for dinner anytime soon? They’ve asked me to see if you’ll come down.” “No, I’m not going to eat dinner tonight. I-I, um…Just really want to finish my book. Tell them I’ll find something to eat later, will you?” “Of course.”

It had been a few hours since Daniela’s meltdown. She had finally managed to stop crying within the first hour of hiding away, though she still felt too depressed to leave her room. Dinner had been ready for over half an hour at that point, yet she was the only one not to have joined her family downstairs to eat. It surprised her mother, as she was usually the first one seated, always eager to see what the kitchen staff had prepared for their meal that night. She had sent a maid up to her youngest daughter’s room four times, asking them to encourage her to come down and join them, even though Bela and Cassandra were already finished eating.

The two waited patiently at the table per their mother’s request, although they also wanted to use the time spent at dinner to apologize to Daniela for the way they treated her. They both felt guilty for it and spoke to each other about how they could make it up to her. When she didn’t join them at the table, however, they could feel their regret growing stronger. They often poked fun at her for different things, but Daniela knew it was all in good fun. She knew they didn’t really mean anything by it.

They were sisters, after all, and they even mocked each other at different points. Most of the time she would laugh at their jokes aimed in her direction. They must’ve really hurt her for her not to at least come downstairs long enough to eat dinner with them.

After waiting another half hour, they decided that it was best to give her a bit of space before they tried to properly apologize for what they had done. They left the dining room. Alcina, however, continued to wait there for her youngest to show up. She never did, and after yet another hour, Alcina headed upstairs to her own room to retire for the night. She knew her daughter likely needed time to herself, especially after Bela and Cassandra explained what had happened. In the morning, she’d make sure to check in on her daughter personally and apologize to her herself.

All the while, Daniela remained in bed, staring blankly at the wall the side of her bed was pressed up against. Her eyes were dull, straining as she fought to stay awake. She wasn’t sure why she wasn’t letting herself fall asleep. She knew she’d feel better if she got a bit of rest, but for some reason she just wouldn’t let her eyes stay closed.

Her mind was swarming with all kinds of negative thoughts, none of which managed to do anything but dampen her mood even further. She must’ve lied there for hours in absolute silence. Everyone else, including the maids, had already gone to bed, which is why it was such a surprise when a knock sounded from her door. She nearly jumped out of her own skin. A loud yelp slipped past her lips as she jolted upright and felt her head whip towards the direction of the door.

Who could that possibly be? Surely her sisters weren’t up at this hour. It was long past midnight, and although she knew the two of them were more insomniatic than she was, she could tell from the way that silence followed the knock that it wasn’t them. Still, her heart hammered in her chest as she tried to decipher the scent.

“Wh-Who is it?” She asked shakily.

“It’s me, Daniela,” [Y/N] responded from the other side of the door. “Is it alright if I come in?” Daniela’s heart began to race even faster, though it was for a different reason now. Why was [Y/N] the only one who came to check in on her herself? Perhaps she cared more for Daniela than her own family did. She hesitated, her mind telling her she’ll only be a burden to the woman she loved so dearly. Ignoring those cruel thoughts, she wiped her face and straightened out her dress. “Yes, come on in,” she finally said at length.

Slowly, the door creaked open to reveal [Y/N], who peered in through the dim lighting the candles from the hallway managed to provide. “What’s up?” Daniela asked softly, watching as the young woman closed her bedroom door and walked over to her bed. She sat on the edge of it and gazed over at her. Even with how dark her room was, Daniela was able to see the concerned look on [Y/N]’s face. “I heard about what happened today. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Daniela smiled weakly, her heart pounding against her ribs once more. She glanced down at her lap, tugging her gloves off and tossing them to the side to pick at her nails. Her palms flipped downwards to desperately try to wipe the sweat onto the fabric of her dress. “I-I’m fine,” she mumbled in reply, her voice almost inaudible. [Y/N] shifted on the bed, the mattress suddenly sinking down next to Daniela as she sat beside her. “C’mon, you and I both know that’s not true. I can see it on your face. And in your body language. You’re upset. You don’t have to hide it. You don’t have to tell me about anything, but I can promise you I won’t judge you for whatever it is you’re upset about.”

Now, as her lip began to quiver for the first time in hours, Daniela managed to peer over at her from the corner of her eye. She tried to maintain her composure, though it was quick to falter as [Y/N] held out her arms and gazed at her with those damned eyes. “C’mere.”

Without meaning to, Daniela whimpered and practically seemed to lunge forward as she dove into [Y/N]’s embrace, letting her face bury itself into the smaller woman’s shoulder as she let out a small sob. She wasn’t entirely sure what it was about this girl that made her feel so safe, other than her love for her. Something about the way [Y/N]’s eyes always seemed to show a sign of trust and never held any judgment made Daniela feel as though she could confide in her about anything.

[Y/N] was quick to rock her back and forth, her fingers gently stroking the unshaven side of the redhead’s messy hair and scratching soothingly at her scalp. “Everything is going to be okay, Dani. And they didn’t tell me to say anything, but your sisters and mother are very sorry for whatever it was that they did to you. Believe me. I was able to see it on their faces during dinner.” Daniela sniffled softly and tilted her head to peer up at [Y/N].

“You were there during dinner?” [Y/N] nodded down at her with a soft grin. “Yes. I was also…” She seemed to hesitate, worried about something. Daniela straightened up at this to look her in the eye. “What is it?” “Ah, I just–I was also there in the room with Bela earlier when you tried to show her your book. I heard what happened.” A soft shade of crimson dusted Daniela’s cheeks as she turned her head away in embarrassment. “Oh, I didn’t even realize. I-I’m sorry you had to see me act that way.” “What way?” “Like a spoiled brat. I-I sounded like I just wanted attention, didn’t I?”

Gently, [Y/N]’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “No, not at all. I can understand being upset about not being able to share something you’re passionate about, and I could clearly tell you were passionate about the book you were carrying.”

Daniela looked back up at her again, slightly surprised. “You don’t think I was being pathetic?” “No, not at all! I’d probably react the same way, honestly.”

Daniela smiled and hummed after a moment. She crossed her legs and returned to where she had originally been sitting on her bed, staring down at her lap. “Th-Thank you for not judging me,” she murmured quietly at length. “It really does mean a lot.” Her head lifted so she could once again look [Y/N] in the eyes, her smile never faltering, and instead growing. “Anytime, Dani,” came the smaller woman’s reply. They gazed at each other for a while, not realizing it.

Suddenly, a look of pure confusion riddled Daniela’s face. “Wait, if you were in the room with Bela when I came in earlier, then how did you not know what I was upset about? And…why did it seem like you didn’t know about any of it until my family “told you?””

Again, a look of anxiousness crossed [Y/N]’s features. She averted her gaze and began to fidget with her fingers. “A-Ah, well, I just didn’t want you to know I had listened to what happened. I thought you might be mad at me for it.” Daniela stared at her, bewildered, but quickly smiled and chuckled. “I could never be mad at you. Especially not over something like that.” She took [Y/N]’s hand into her own and gently caressed the back of it with her thumb.

Daniela sighed in relief. The noises pounding in her mind began to soften, finally feeling at ease for the first time in hours.

“Oh!”

She jumped at that, her heart stuttering in surprise as she quickly turned her attention back to [Y/N], who looked excited now.

“Speaking of that book, I was actually going to ask if you could show me some of the facts you were trying to talk about!” An unusually wide smile cracked across Daniela’s lips, almost to a painful degree. “You’d really be interested in that? And you’d pay attention?” [Y/N] nodded with a look of pure intrigue. “Yeah, of course! I managed to spot the cover of the book while you were in the room. It’s about the human body, right?”

Daniela nodded, quickly flying over to where she had tossed the book to pick it up before returning to the bed. “Yep! The first half is really really boring, but the rest of it is really cool! I love the part about how love and romance affects the body so far.” [Y/N] giggled at her and reached over to the nightstand to light a candle. “I figured as much. That’s very in-character for you,” she replied softly, making Daniela blush.

“Is that a bad thing?” She questioned sheepishly. “No, of course not. It’s actually one of the things I love most about you.” Daniela’s face burned even brighter, and she secretly scolded herself, trying to force the blush to die down before the candle lit up the small space next to them.

“Oh, Daniela. Did that new book you were talking about finally make it in?” Bela asked from the sofa in the front parlor, Cassandra’s head perking up at this. The youngest of the three beamed brightly over at them and chuckled. “Yeah, it did.” Her two older sisters smiled back at her. “Would you want us to read it with you?”

Daniela eyed them for a moment, though her expression quickly changed before they could notice. “Oh, no, it’s fine. I was actually planning on reading it with [Y/N] first! She’s in the library right now: I told her to wait there for me while I grabbed the book from the Duke’s shop.” She hummed and swarmed up, flying all the way across the property to the library, where she found [Y/N] waiting for her on her favorite sofa.

Similar to the way she had been doing almost all day everyday, Daniela smiled wide, squealing from excitement and catching [Y/N]’s attention, who turned to her and grinned in return, waving at her. “Dani, hey! Did you get the book?”

With an enthusiastic nod, Daniela soared over to the sofa and plopped herself down next to [Y/N], leaning against the armrest. “Sure did! Volume two of fun facts over the human body.” She pulled the book from underneath her arm and swayed it back and forth with a teasing smirk. She then set it up against her lap and flipped open the front cover. Bringing her closed hand up to cover her mouth, she cleared her throat, then began to read the story aloud.

As she spoke, she got lost in the words. She hardly noticed as [Y/N] shifted on the cushion in front of her. She was made aware of her movement, however, once the smaller woman leaned against her shoulder to read the words on the pages as well.

Her voice shook and cracked in surprise, her confidence in the words she spoke beginning to waver as she stared down at [Y/N]. “U-Um, are you alright?” She looked up at Daniela in confusion. “Yeah, of course,” was her soft reply. “Just wanted to get cozy, y’know?” Uncharacteristically, Daniela grew sheepish. She was often the one who made a bold move to fluster others–she wasn’t used to someone else doing it to her, let alone the woman she loved.

“Y-Yeah,” was all she could mutter, forcing herself to tear her gaze away and focus back on the words decorating the pages. She continued to read it aloud, though she wasn’t able to comprehend anything she read. This continued for a long while, and finally she was able to get back into a more confident headspace. Her attention to the facts returned.

A gentle yawn sounded from Daniela’s shoulder, prompting her to look down at the source. [Y/N] rubbed her eyes before letting them flutter shut. She sighed as she nuzzled back up further into Daniela’s shoulder. Her nose gently bumped against her neck. The redhead shuttered, causing her breath to halt for a moment. How long had they been reading together? Surely it couldn’t have been that long.

She turned her head to glance up at the skylight, finding that the sky above was growing darker, almost pitch black. “Oh, I hadn’t even realized we’d been here all day. Sorry about that, [Y/N]. Should I carry you back to your room?” [Y/N] shook her head after a moment, seemingly already halfway asleep. “No, I’m fine. This is really comfortable. You can keep reading if you’d like.” Daniela smiled softly down at her and nodded. She shifted her arm to tuck it underneath [Y/N]’s torso and pull her closer, using her free hand to flip the pages of the book as she read silently to herself.

Another hour must’ve passed before Daniela finally finished the book. “Man, it’s much faster to read something in my head than out loud,” she whispered to herself, closing the cover and gently placing the book on the ground next to the sofa. She yawned and sighed, glancing back over at [Y/N]. Her eyes were shut, her breathing and heartbeat slow and steady. Daniela grinned and absentmindedly pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the woman’s head. She couldn’t see it, but her pupils were blown from the love and admiration traveling throughout her body.

“I’m glad you’re asleep,” she started. “I-I promise I’ll tell you this to your face when you’re actually…y’know, conscious–when I can find the courage–but…I love you, [Y/N]. You’ve cheered me up countless times, especially these past few weeks. You’ve always made me laugh and made sure I knew that you were actually paying attention to me. You make sure I know you’re actually interested in what I have to say, and that really does mean the world to me.

“I hope I can help you feel the same way. There are so many things I never want you to have to experience, but feeling useless, or ignored, or…like you’re a burden is definitely one of the major ones. If you ever feel like you have no one else to go to, I just want you to know that I’m here.”

She giggled to herself, running a hand through her hair and then down her face. “I want to keep telling you about how much I love you and why I do, but I feel like I should save all of it for when you’re actually awake to hear all of it. I want you to know just how much you mean to me. Though, that’ll be hard to explain since you mean the world–no, more than the world to me.”

Finally, she let herself relax, leaning back against the armrest and closing her eyes with a heavy sigh. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face if she tried. Again, just like she had done multiple times over the past few weeks, Daniela jumped. [Y/N] seemed to be unnaturally good at catching her off guard. She wasn’t sure if she was proud of that or not.

“Aww, Dani, that’s so sweet,” she mumbled. Daniela’s eyes shot down to her still resting against her shoulder, a bead of sweat forming on her forehead. “H-How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it.”

Daniela whined in embarrassment. She used her free hand to hide her reddened face, mumbling things under her breath. [Y/N] giggled at her reaction, one arm moving to wrap around the redhead’s torso and pull her closer. Her face nuzzled against Daniela’s collarbone as she smiled and sighed. “But…I love you too. I want you to know that.”

For what must’ve been the fifth time that evening alone, Daniela’s head whipped back around to let her stare at [Y/N]. “You do…?” She whispered, her voice once again cracking as tears unwillingly began to prick her eyes.

“Of course I do. How could I not?” [Y/N] said it like it was the most obvious thing on earth. She really found it odd that Daniela was surprised about her feelings being mutual?

Daniela’s lip quivered. Slowly, she shifted onto her side to fully face [Y/N], who finally opened her eyes to gaze up at her. The smile that caressed her lips so beautifully only made Daniela’s heart flutter. “Could…you say that again?” [Y/N] smiled.

“Yes. I’ll say it to you as many times as you’d like. I love you, Dani.”

She leaned up and began to pepper the woman’s face and head with kisses, whispering a faint “I love you” with each one.

Daniela finally let out a small laugh mixed with a sob. She leaned forward and pulled [Y/N] closer. [Y/N] smiled down at her, shifting up a bit further to comfortably pull the weeping girl into her chest. Her fingers raked through the red locks that rested against the armrest, lulling Daniela further into a sense of security and bliss. “I’ll always be here for you, okay? Anything you need, I’m here: I’ll be here to listen, pay attention, make you laugh, and love you. Just like you said to me, if you ever feel like no one else is there, just know I’ll be waiting for you with open arms.”

Tears soaked through [Y/N]’s shirt, though she didn’t mind. She could feel Daniela smiling broadly against her clothed skin, and that made everything feel like it was worth it.

A Place to Go

[The Owl House] Amity Blight x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.02k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Yelling, crying, general angst, Odalia being Odalia, and talk of an unsafe home environment.

[A/N]: Here's story 1/3 for Amity!

P.S. the reader / [Y/N] / you essentially replace Luz in the story. It doesn't change how anything plays out, I just figured I should mention it to explain the relationship.

Enjoy!

“Amity, I don’t care about whatever it is you think is more important than your schoolwork, but this is unacceptable! You’re hardly trying anymore, for Titan’s sake. Are you trying to make me look bad?” Odalia sneered down at her youngest daughter, waving Amity’s report card in front of her face to show her recent grades. “Mom, I still have almost all A’s! I don’t see why that’s such a bad thing to you,” she hollered in return, glancing to the side to find Edric and Emira peering in anxiously from the doorway. “Almost isn’t good enough, dear. You know that. You’re doing so much worse than you ever have. I feel like you’re doing this intentionally,” came her mother’s retort.

Amity sighed and ran her hands down her face, already beginning to feel the anger boiling and bubbling up to the surface. “Mom, I’m not intentionally doing anything. I’ve just been…distracted is all.” Odalia scoffed and rolled her eyes. Her free hand came up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “So I’ve noticed.” Her mother then grumbled something underneath her breath, glancing back over the sheet of paper in her hand before handing it over to one of the Abominations that stood in place of a servant. “Ever since that human came to the Isles, it seems you’ve been distracted every day. Honestly, I don’t see what interests you so much about her. She’s beneath us, Amity. You know that.”

The twins winced at the statement, watching as their younger sister tensed up and visibly grew irritated. They glanced at each other, silently wondering how they could step in without escalating the situation even further. “How dare you talk about her that way?” Amity yelled in return, stepping forward. “You know nothing about her! She’s actually the one who’s been listening to me and making me genuinely happy!” Odalia’s eyebrow perked up as she thought for a moment. She hummed with a knowing smirk.

“Is that so? So she’s the one who has been distracting you from your responsibilities? I suppose your father and I will just have to do something about her in that case.”

Amity’s body froze, her blood running cold as she stammered. “Y-You wouldn’t. You can’t! She’s all I have!” “All you have? Amity, have you forgotten all I’ve done for you? I gave you a name, a title, a reason for others to fear you. I gave you power and status! You’d be nothing without me, and you know it. [Y/N] is nothing but a pest who needs to be squashed. If that’s what it takes for you to return to normal, then so be it.”

Trembling harshly, Amity stepped back and tangled her hands together in an attempt to steady them and ground herself. “But…I don’t want to be feared,” she whispered. “I-I don’t want to have power and status if it means I can only use it for something bad.” She swallowed the lump in her throat and sucked in a shuttered breath. “[Y/N] treats me with the respect you never have,” she started again after a moment of silence, finally looking back up to her mother to look her in the eye as she forced her confidence once more.

“[Y/N] is a better person than you’ll ever be.”

Odalia gasped at that, her features contorting as she grew infuriated with her youngest daughter’s attempt to fight back. “Amity, you have no right to speak to me that way. And how would you even know that? It’s not like she means anything to you.”

“She means everything to me! She’s my girlfriend!”

Her hands came up to clasp themselves over her mouth as she gasped. She didn’t want to tell her mother about her relationship with [Y/N]--she knew she’d be disowned for being involved with someone her mother saw as inferior. Had she ruined everything? What if she had to break up with her? She let her gaze drop down to the floor. If that’s what she had to do to make sure [Y/N] was safe, she would, but she knew how painful it would be. There had to be a way to avoid her getting hurt.

“Girlfriend? Oh, no, Amity. You’re mistaken. You can’t date someone so far beneath us. We’ll find you a new girlfriend–one who’s better suited to be with you.” Amity’s jaw clenched, her teeth grinding painfully against each other as her arms dropped back down to her side. “And how do you know who would be suited to be my girlfriend? You don’t know what I need.” Odalia faked a laugh. “Oh, but I do, dear. You need someone who will benefit your place in the world. Someone who will better our reputation.”

Finally, Amity lunged forward and snatched her report card from the servant, glancing over it before holding it back up to show her mother. “If your reputation is all you care about, and you don’t care about me being happy, then I don’t want any part of it.” In a swift movement, she tore the paper in two, then let it fall to the ground beneath her feet. Her eyes never left her mother’s, however, which narrowed. They stared at each other for a moment, the tension in the air growing thicker with each passing second.

At length, Odalia sighed and crossed her arms. “Very well. I can always find a better replacement. Feel free to stay here if you’d like, but don’t bother taking any pride in your little stunt. Either way, [Y/N] will be punished for ruining your future.” Amity growled in frustration. “She didn’t ruin my future, she is my future! All you do is cause problems! I hate that I have to live here with you! You’re the only reason I don’t enjoy having the name Blight,” she hollered as loudly as she could, then spinning around on her heel to turn and storm off.

After she made it to the front parlor, she heard her mother start to bicker again. She picked up her pace quickly before sprinting out the door. She had no plan on where to go–she had never tried to run away before. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone found her and forced her to go back to living at the Blight Manor–she knew that–but she just wanted to get away for enough time to clear her head.

Tears blurred her vision, making it almost impossible to see where she was going as they spilled from her eyes in thick masses. She wiped furiously at her eyes, sniffling and hiccuping. The late hour certainly wasn’t helping: the sun hadn’t quite set all the way yet, but with every passing minute, the world around her grew darker.

In an attempt to calm herself down, she thought of where she could go. Her first thought was her hideout at the library, though that idea was quickly shut down. She knew that was one of the first places her family would look.

There had to be somewhere else she could go.

There was no way she was going to run to Boscha’s house, or any of her old friends for that matter. None of them would comfort her the way she needed. Her family would also look there anyway, so there was no point. In the midst of her thinking and weeping, she had sent a text through her scroll at some point, though she couldn’t quite make out whatever it was she had typed.

After several minutes of running in a random direction, Amity came to a halt, huffing and panting heavily as she hunched over to rest her hands on her knees. Her eyes closed, already growing weary from the tears that had barely dried while streaking against her face. Where could she go?

Where would her mother not look for a while?

Where could she go to feel understood and safe?

Her eyes shot open after a moment, her mind screaming at her feet to start moving again. She managed to pace herself in a light jog, eventually realizing it wouldn’t get her where she needed to be for a long while. She brought her hands up to cup the sides of her mouth as she hollered out. “Ghost! I need a ride,” she called out. Her palisman took a moment, but finally made it. Amity summoned her staff and quickly hopped on, flying off as quickly as possible.

She didn’t know how she hadn’t thought of it immediately: The Owl House was definitely a place she could go to whenever she needed, and unless her siblings ratted her out for it, Odalia would never think to even check that place for a while. She’d have at least a few days to recollect herself.

Another round of sniffles sounded from her as she mumbled where she wanted to go to Ghost, who flew even faster in that direction. It had only taken a few minutes for them to make it, though it felt like hours had passed to Amity. She hopped off of her staff and managed to run to the door, ignoring Hooty’s greetings and heading inside. Eda and King both asked what was going on, though all Amity could hear was ringing. Her body felt like it was going to collapse at any moment, and all she wanted to do was hold [Y/N] before that happened.

Racing up the stairs, Amity stumbled hurriedly to [Y/N]’s bedroom door, shoving it open and struggling to catch her balance as her eyes searched the room frantically. She sighed once her gaze met [Y/N]’s. A choked sob quickly forced its way through her lips as she walked forward and fell into the girl’s embrace. There were so many things on her mind that she wanted to talk about, but none of them came out coherently.

[Y/N] gently shushed her and told her to take her time. “Just breathe for me right now, okay?” Amity nodded and sniffled, squeezing [Y/N] in return as she struggled to steady her breath again. The feeling of her girlfriend’s arms around her torso was the only thing keeping her grounded to reality. That, and the sound of [Y/N] whispering soft words of reassurance beside her ear while she rocked her back and forth in a soothing manner.

Eventually, Amity managed to calm herself enough to start talking about what had happened. [Y/N] listened intently as she ranted, only speaking here and there to show that she was listening. After a good half hour of speaking, Amity crumbled into herself once the two of them sat on the bed. “I-I just don’t understand why her name is more important to her than her actual children. Why does she think her reputation matters more than me?”

[Y/N] could feel her heart shattering at her words. She pulled Amity into another hug. “I…I don’t know, Amity. I really don’t. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: every child deserves a parent who will love them and keep only their best interest in mind, but not every parent deserves a child, especially if they aren’t willing to put in the effort it takes to help them feel loved.” She leaned back to look Amity in the eye. Her hands came up to gently cup her face, and she could feel her heart throbbing again as the girl in front of her could only close her eyes and lean into the touch.

“You deserve so much more, Amity. You deserve everything you want. I hope one day your mom realizes that.” Amity hiccuped and began to cry again. Her head lowered, allowing her to bury her face in her hands. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry again.” Gently, [Y/N] lifted Amity’s head and moved her hands. She cupped her face once more before letting the pads of her thumbs stroke her face to wipe her tears away.

Another sniffle came from Amity before she opened her eyes. She glanced up at [Y/N] and smiled weakly. “No, it’s not you. I just…you have no idea how badly I’ve needed to hear someone who isn’t my family say that. Thank you.”

The two shared a smile. After a moment or two, [Y/N] leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Amity’s forehead before speaking. “You look exhausted. Why don’t we get some sleep? There’ll be plenty of time to figure things out in the morning, okay?” A small nod was her response. The two of them then shuffled around for a bit to get the room more comfortable. The lights were turned off, and multiple blankets and pillows were brought in to provide a larger sense of comfort.

They laid down on the floor, bundling up underneath the blankets and facing one another. [Y/N] grabbed ahold of Amity’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, whispering a few more words before letting her eyes flutter shut. Several moments passed, but Amity was struggling to fall asleep peacefully. Every time her eyes closed, she thought of what would possibly happen to [Y/N] if her mother ever got ahold of her.

After gathering a small amount of courage, she scooted forward towards [Y/N] and rested her head against the girl’s chest. [Y/N] tensed at the feeling, looking down at her. She never asked why she moved closer, almost instantly understanding what was happening. Amity finally managed to fall asleep after focusing on the sound of her girlfriend’s heart beating behind her ribs. She counted the beating until she crashed. Considering all that had happened that night, she managed to have a relatively decent dream, her mind finally processing that she was safe at the Owl House.

She wished she could call this place her home instead of Blight Manor.

Maybe she could talk to [Y/N] about it when they woke up. She knew her girlfriend would be on board with her living there for the time being, but she would also need to make sure that Eda and King would be okay with it as well.

She’d have to wait until she woke up the next morning.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Remember there’s an extra credit assignment that’ll be due next week if anyone chooses to do it.” After the teacher made final announcements for the day, the students in class began to pack their things back up. Amity smiled at the thought of going home. She gathered her belongings and waited patiently for the bell to go off. Her eyes shut as her palm supported the weight of her head, propping her arm up against the table as she remained in her seat.

“Hey, Amity! Think you could help us with the extra credit this weekend?” Skara suddenly quipped, making Amity jump and look over at her as she and Boscha made their way over. With a dismissive wave of her hand, she smiled. “Ah, no, sorry. I’m not gonna do it this time. I just want to stay home and relax for a while.” Boscha’s eyebrows raised before a look of confusion crossed her face. “You aren’t doing the extra credit?”

Amity’s eyes squinted a bit at her. “Why? Is that such a bad thing?” Her tone came across a little more aggressive than she intended, but she didn’t have a visible reaction to it. Boscha shrugged. “No, I just don’t remember the last time you skipped doing anything for extra credit. Can’t blame you though,” she waved her hand with an exasperated expression. “The assignments are always boring anyway.” Amity only hummed, not contributing to the conversation any further.

Finally, the bell screamed throughout each class, echoing down the hallways. Amity beamed brightly and stood up, ignoring the surprised and confused glances from the others as she rushed out the door.

She made her way out the main doors of Hexide, summoning Ghost at her side before flying off to the Owl House. She landed relatively swiftly before jogging inside, finding that [Y/N] had already made it home before her and set up her phone to binge watch the shows she had been begging Amity to try watching for weeks. Amity smiled wider and laughed, gently discarding her school supplies before joining her girlfriend on the sofa.

They bundled up together under the blankets that had been set out, snuggling against each other before [Y/N] started the show. Amity grinned as [Y/N] laughed at a joke here and there, sighing contentedly as she leaned further against her girlfriend. She didn’t entirely understand what was happening in the show–and she definitely didn’t get any of the references made–but she was enjoying it anyway.

Something about the way [Y/N] held her and talked so passionately about what was playing on her phone made Amity feel safe and wouldn’t let her stop smiling. She had never felt this happy at the Manor. And although she knew she wouldn’t be able to stay here forever, she was glad her mother agreed to let her live there until the Day of Unity, though she didn’t appreciate the way she had explained why she was allowing it.

She ignored that though, and instead found herself falling even more in love with [Y/N] than ever before. Being able to spend every day together meant they could do everything together: go on dates, walk around town, crack bad jokes about what had been happening at school. Eda treated her like her mother never did, always making sure she was taken care of and keeping her best interests in mind. And King, although it wasn’t much of a surprise, became like a younger sibling to Amity. Anytime she was feeling upset and [Y/N] wasn’t there to make her smile, King found a way to make her laugh.

She loved every part of it, and she loved [Y/N], the girl who saved her from her lowest point in life and welcomed her into her new home with loving arms.

Make Up for It

[The Owl House] Boscha x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.01k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Mentions of abandonment.

[A/N]: None!

Enjoy!

A heavy sigh pushed its way through Boscha’s lips, echoing throughout her bedroom as she sat at her vanity, waiting impatiently for her scroll to ping the way she had been expecting it to for over an hour. Three eyes met her reflection in the mirror that sat in front of her. She seemed to search her own gaze and think to herself, wondering if any of this had been a good idea. Ever since the defeat of Belos and the peace brought upon the island by The Collector, the citizens of the Boiling Isles worked together tirelessly to reconstruct their home–both physically and diplomatically.

Boscha had been one of the students at Hexide who worked among others to help rebuild the school. Just recently, they had finally repaired the auditorium where every school event–every pep rally and dance–was held. Principal Bump, after talking it over with multiple teachers, decided to bring Grom Royalty back to tradition, although he made sure more than one student was allowed to fight at a time to ensure there wasn’t a repeat of Grometheus’s near-escape.

Thankfully, Boscha hadn’t been chosen as Grom Royalty. A few random girls from the Beast Keeping Track were selected instead. It was a relief to know she wouldn’t have to face her greatest fear, especially considering how humiliated she would feel if everyone knew just how vulnerable she could get over something so small.

In her mind, she knew it wasn’t necessarily small, but her insecurities festered underneath the surface like the same boiling concoctions Boscha found herself working with almost every day. She felt as though no one would take her seriously if they found out about her worst fear: abandonment.

They’d see me as weak, she’d tell herself, and that was something she couldn’t allow.

Although Grudgby had been put on hold during the repairs, Boscha’s teammates still looked up to her when it came to the sport–amongst other things. As she had told Willow during their confrontation several months prior, everyone else seemed to fall apart the moment the leader was to show any sign of weakness. She wanted her friends to rely on her–to feel as though they could trust her strength.

How could they possibly trust that strength if they knew what broke her? With that information at their disposal, they could shatter her already crumbling reputation at any instant. All she had at that time was her reputation, and she did her best to maintain it.

That included now. As she sat in front of the mirror, gazing absentmindedly at all she had done in the past half hour, she wondered if her plan falling to ruin that evening would dampen her reputation even further. She had gone all out for her date to the dance: she made sure her suit was flawlessly cut and lacking any wrinkles, her perfume was high-dollar, and that her hair was perfect. The usual strands of hair that framed her face remained there, though they had been curled to give a more gentle effect. She styled the rest of her hair to match. Half-up half-down is ultimately what she decided on, and each strand was waved to match her curtain bangs, including the ones that were pinned up on the back of her head.

Everything about her outfit had been meticulously planned. She just hoped it would get the ultimate approval of her peers. More importantly, she hoped it would get the approval of her date for the night.

After a while longer of waiting, she finally decided to head to the dance alone, telling herself that her date for the evening just forgot to let her know that she had already left. How that would be possible, considering it was the biggest event of the school year, she didn’t know, but she refused to believe she was being ditched. As she hopped onto her palisman, Maya, she sent a quick message off to Skara to let her know she was headed towards the school.

On the flight there, she searched the ground below in hopes of spotting her date. Even as her eyes scanned the land without fail, she didn’t spot her there. Occasionally, she’d feel a spark of excitement, thinking she spotted her among the scattered students headed in the same direction, only to feel utterly deflated.

With a huff, she stopped at the entrance of Hexside, allowing Maya to retreat from her physical form as she headed inside, all the way to the auditorium. The large, wide doors were propped open, revealing the scenery behind them: the glowing floor of the stadium, littered with students laughing and cracking jokes together as they danced. Streamers were hung high on the walls, providing enough room for the disco ball to stand out and aid the colorful lights in shimmering around the room.

Boscha couldn’t help but smile at the sight. After all that had happened recently, it was a breath of fresh air to see everyone so carefree. She’d never admit that to anyone though.

She sauntered inside, once again checking her scroll for the message she had been waiting for. Nothing, of course. “Boscha!” She jumped at the sudden voice, her head perking up to let her eyes search for the source. She found Skara waving her over to get her attention. She stood beside Amelia and Cat, who waved to her as well.

A small smile cracked across her lips, Boscha waved back and headed over. She hugged the three before asking if any of them had seen her date. “No, I don’t think I’ve seen her tonight,” Amelia hummed in thought as she recalled seeing the other students throughout the evening. “Me either,” Skara started, “but didn’t she say she’d message you to let you know when she got here?” Boscha nodded. “Yeah, but I haven’t gotten anything.”

“Maybe she’s just running late?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Even as she agreed, Boscha couldn’t help the feeling of overwhelming doubt that crept over her senses. Surely she had to be here somewhere. The service on the Isles hadn’t been great in the area, so maybe her message just didn’t send through? She didn’t know. Instead of physically walking around to find her, she opted for heading up to the top of the bleachers to scan the crowds alone. She told Skara it was so she had a better chance of spotting her, but the reality was she didn’t want anyone to see the pure worry on her face.

An hour and a half had passed, and if Boscha’s nerves hadn’t gotten the better of her before, they certainly did now. Still no word of her date, and no sight of her either. After a while, she had rejoined her friends back on the dance floor, awkwardly ignoring their suggestions to dance for a bit to ease up with a forced grin. “I just wanna save my energy for my “big dance,” you know?”

To try and shake the nerves, she walked around the room here and there, all while checking her scroll. Still nothing.

Just as she made it a few feet away from her friend group again, her scroll finally pinged. She clicked it, and confusion riddled her features at the sight that her date had posted something on Penstagram. So much for her reception being bad.

With a newfound hesitancy, she clicked on the post to view it. Her heart dropped at the sight of her date with someone else at the party that was being held at Glandus High, their opposing school. She held the stranger tight in the photo, clearly posing for a selfie. She felt her limbs grow numb as her gaze dropped down to skim over the caption, unable to swallow or hear any of the surrounding noises as she processed the words.

There wasn’t even the slightest mention of her name, but she knew that it was directed towards her.

“Ditched a would’ve-been mistake, loving this party! Shoutout to Glandus for giving me the best replacement for both a lame party and date!”

She hadn’t even realized she had finally looked up from her scroll. One moment, she was reading the caption in shock, and the next, she was met with several gazes from the other students in the room, all of which were a mix of pity, confusion, and sorrow. Skara and Amelia motioned for her to come over, likely to try and sympathize with her and comfort her.

She’d have none of that.

The night had been ruined long ago, she just wasn’t made aware of it until then.

Her date didn’t think she deserved to be spared the humiliation, and decided to publicize it on top of everything? She hadn’t let the girl know about her worst fear, and yet she somehow managed to make it known to everyone anyway.

How predictable.

How pathetic.

Through blurred vision, in which she cursed herself for starting to cry, she shook her head and began to walk backwards. It soon turned into a sprint once she turned, then she was quickly running. How could she have been so stupid? She should’ve noticed the signs immediately, and yet she decided to turn a blind eye and only embarrass herself further by going all out. She ignored the concerned calls from her friends and desperately rushed to the furthest bathroom from there that she could find.

Once she stumbled across one, she wobbled inside and stood in front of one of the mirrors to the sinks. Her hand shook violently as it twisted the knob, and only shook harder as she dunked it under the running water before letting it resurface to splash the water in her face. She repeated this motion with both hands, all while letting out several curses under her breath.

She lost count of how many times she splashed herself, going on and on until she could no longer tell the difference from the tears that streaked her face and the sink water that soaked her skin. Her hearing had returned, though everything sounded muffled. She had been rejected here and there in the past, but she had never been publicly made fun of and humiliated in the process. It was heartbreaking. That was the only way she could possibly describe it at that moment.

Eventually, she pried herself away from the sink, barely mustering the courage to turn it off before wandering to the roll of paper towels and using a few to pathetically pat her face dry. She shivered, barely realizing then that she had soaked part of her blazer. She glanced down to find that a large amount of the water had trickled down her jaw and neck and soaked through the collar of her shirt as well.

Reluctantly, she tore the blazer from her torso, tossing it on top of the lid of the trashcan. With the same paper towels she had already partially soaked, she lazily tried to dry her shirt as well. After one failed attempt of wringing the collar dry, she sniffled and gave up, tossing the crumpled up sheets aside. She shakily left the room and subconsciously found herself roaming the halls. She couldn’t go home just yet, she knew, or her moms would ask what had happened. She didn’t have the energy to explain it all.

And she couldn’t return to the party. She just couldn’t. She didn’t want to deal with giving any fake responses when people offered their sympathy, nor did she want to hear anyone else mentioning what had happened while watching them side-eye her from a distance.

Again, she found herself scolding her mind for sobbing, though when she let her fingers graze her face to wipe the tears, she studied them with confusion upon seeing they were dry. She strained her ears, forcing them to hear past the dull ringing. Somewhere nearby, she could hear someone weeping. Although she knew she didn’t have the energy to talk to whoever it was, her curiosity got the better of her. Maybe knowing she wasn’t the only one having a horrible night was what gave her a small burst of energy–enough to find the source anyway.

She narrowed down the possibilities of which hall they could possibly be, grumbling at how the empty halls amplified the noise and had the echoes reverberating throughout the walls. Finally, after pin-pointing where the sound was coming from, she neared the corner to the intersecting hallway ahead of her and slowed her steps before ultimately stopping to listen.

Around the corner, a strangely familiar voice choked out pained sobs and murmurs, unaware they were no longer talking to themself. She peeked out cautiously and found [Y/N] [L/N], a girl she knew of but didn’t know personally, curled into herself against the wall, her body trembling with every heave and wail.

“What the hell did I do?” She asked herself repeatedly in between sharp gasps for air, her phone tossed to the side and long forgotten. Boscha glanced down and found the small device near her feet, face-down on the chilled, marble floor. As silently as she could, she picked it up and studied the screen, which was somehow still on. Her eyebrows lifted in shock, surprised to discover this girl was in the exact same situation as she was.

She sighed inaudibly. With one hand still holding onto the phone and the other tucked into the pocket of her slacks, she walked forward, clearing her throat to push past the voice cracks she knew she’d produce if she tried to talk. Startled, [Y/N] jumped and reeled back. She wiped furiously at her eyes and peered up at Boscha, who held the phone up a bit further. “Rough night?”

“I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t know anyone was over here.”

“No, you’re fine.”

They stayed there in silence, unsure of what to say. With a small grimace, Boscha moved forward and sat a couple of feet from [Y/N], leaning against the wall and handing over her phone. “Thank you,” was her soft reply. She only nodded before turning her head to stare blankly at the lockers across from them.

She wondered if there was any possible way to salvage the night. Even if she returned to the party, she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. There was no one to dance with, and she’d constantly be stared at the entire time. Maybe she should’ve just stayed in the bathroom and locked herself away. Or even gone home after all and snuck back into her bedroom. She just didn’t want to face the world anytime soon.

“So…you’re Boscha, right?” A gentle voice questioned beside her. She turned her attention to [Y/N] again and nodded. “Yeah. And you’re [Y/N], right? The human?” “Yeah, that’s me. Why aren’t you at the party?” Boscha scoffed and scratched the back of her neck anxiously. “My date ditched me, that’s why. Decided I was a mistake, and that I deserved to feel ridiculous by not telling me ahead of time that she wasn’t interested.”

“Oh…”

She hummed, then turned back to her again. “What about you?” “Same here.”

She wished she could’ve been surprised, but after seeing what had been left on the screen just a moment ago, she couldn’t even muster a proper reaction. “Guess we’re in the same boat then, huh?” She muttered with a fake chuckle after waiting for a beat. “I guess so.”

Silence settled upon the two of them again, though it wasn’t as uncomfortable as before. Boscha wracked her brain for something to say to lighten the mood, grasping desperately at anything that could make the night better. If she knew the situation better, coming up with a solution would be far easier. She thought of what Willow or one of the others would do in her place, wincing at herself for becoming so soft in the past few months.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The two had sat there for a little under an hour, just talking about what had happened at first, but eventually started chatting about more positive things. It was relieving when the two of them shared a laugh for the first time that evening. Their situations were pretty much the same, although [Y/N] was able to escape the auditorium without much notice. Her date had bailed on her and made it public pretty early on in the evening, meaning there were very few students around when she saw the post.

All the while as they talked about whatever came to mind, Boscha couldn’t help but find herself urging to ask [Y/N] to come back to the auditorium with her and prove both of their dates wrong–to show them that they were better off without them. She wasn’t sure how to ask in a smooth manner, so ultimately, she built up the courage to ask it as bluntly as possible.

While [Y/N] searched on her phone for something that related to a story she was talking about, Boscha scooted a bit closer. “So, what would you think about just heading back and going as each other’s dates instead?” Shocked by the sudden question, [Y/N] glanced over at her and tilted her head. “Huh? What do you mean?” Boscha shrugged, unable to bite back her smirk. “Well, I mean…we shouldn’t let the night go to waste. We can still salvage it. Plus, we’d get to prove to everyone that we don’t need people who’ll ditch us.”

She gently nudged her shoulder with her own. “We can show them that we’re better than that, y’know?” [Y/N] stared at her for a moment before laughing anxiously. “I don’t know, Boscha. I’m not sure I could go face everyone in there again. Aren’t you afraid of how they’d look at us? At you?”

“Of course I am. Ever since I made it to high school here at Hexside, I’ve had to work hard to make sure people look at me with respect. Didn’t matter if they hated me or not, I had to pretend not to care. I was the “star,” the Team Captain of the Grudgby Team. I’m always terrified of how they look at me, if I’m being honest. But…you kinda learn to ignore it after a while and just do your own thing. Shouldn’t we be allowed to enjoy our night, even if we get weird looks for it?”

For the first time that evening, [Y/N] felt confident. Not drastically more confident than before, but Boscha’s words got the gears in her head working again after being rusted with stress and tears. She had been so distraught by the whole incident that she hadn’t been able to think logically about how she still deserved a good night.

Maybe dancing with Boscha that night would make up for it.

She glanced down for a moment in thought. At length, she looked up again and smiled with excitement. “Yeah, you know what? Let’s do it!”

At that, Boscha laughed and pumped her arm triumphantly the way she did when she won a Grudgby match. She stood and offered her hand for [Y/N] to take, hoisting her up to stand in front of her when she did. [Y/N] pocketed her phone, giggling as Boscha tugged her forward towards the auditorium with a newfound pep in her step. The two laughed the entire journey there, Boscha’s hand never leaving [Y/N]’s.

Before they made it, they stopped and glanced at each other to suck in a quick breath, steeling their nerves and grinning as they walked inside. Boscha was quick to bring her over to her friend group, introducing her to the others and explaining what had happened–first asking [Y/N] and confirming that it was okay to talk about the situation. They seemed confused, but ultimately were glad that the two of them had found a way to improve what they went through.

They smiled and waved at them as they headed to the dance floor, Boscha hugging [Y/N] tightly against her as they swayed to the beat of the song. As they circled the others, occasionally having to apologize as they bumped into a couple here or there, they kept their eyes trained on one another, warmth growing in their chests as they studied the smallest features.

Boscha watched in awe as [Y/N]’s eyes squinted shut tight enough for the bridge of her nose to crinkle slightly with every wide smile and laugh. She could swear that she’d catch [Y/N]’s [h/c] eyes flickering down to her lips when she’d crack another joke.

[Y/N] noticed with pure glee that not once did Boscha’s eyes leave her own. Her third eye seemed to focus on her the most, seemingly showing what the witch was truly thinking in that moment as its pupil overtook the majority of the iris.

By the time Grom royalty headed to the arena, once everyone parted to sit in the bleachers of course, Boscha and [Y/N] were in tears. They were glad, however, that they were from the constant laughter they shared rather than from the initial heartbreak they experienced merely two hours ago. They waited until everyone was settled and focused on the fight before sneaking out and jogging out the front doors, laughing all the while.

Finally, the two of them made it outside, a good distance away from the building. They fell to the floor in yet another fit of giggles, struggling to gasp for breath as they added on to the previous jokes. [Y/N] playfully reached over far enough to smack Boscha on the shoulder, snorting in the process and laughing even harder at the sound. “Boscha, stop it! I can’t breathe!”

They continued like that for a while until the jokes settled down. They snickered occasionally, but sighed once they were able to calm all the way down. As [Y/N] let her hands move up to swipe the stray tears from her face, Boscha couldn’t help but stare with a smile that could only be described as smitten or lovestruck. How had she never met this girl before tonight? She was so carefree and warm. They had only spent the past few hours together, but in that time, in between all of the playful banter and dancing, they had learned so much about each other. It felt like they had known each other for so long.

Like they were old, close friends.

Although the mere thought of her ex-date was painful, she was a thing of the past at that moment. She was able to keep her mind clear with [Y/N], and she wondered if it was because they knew what the other had been through, or if it was because they had actually managed to grow pretty close in such a short amount of time. Either way, she was grateful that they had met. Maybe she was being too bold, but she felt like this wasn’t just going to be something that lasted for one night.

As cheesy as it sounded, she had never felt that way before. Usually, she only spent time with people if she pitied them or wanted to leech off of their status. With [Y/N], however, she wanted to spend time with her because it felt right–it felt natural. It wasn’t a forced formality like what she had had with Amity. It was genuine. There didn’t seem to be any kind of ill-intent or fake gentleness that she sensed with others.

She couldn’t recall the last time she was able to laugh like they had together, or even when she was able to talk so casually about things she could remember from her past–the memories that brought joy and didn’t have to make her look good, anyway.

It was an amazing, freeing feeling that she never wanted to let go of. She told herself, no matter what anyone else thought, she’d make sure this continues. Just looking into [Y/N]’s eyes as they talked told her that she didn’t want this to end either.

“You know, as weird as it sounds, I’m actually kinda glad we were ditched tonight,” [Y/N] admitted softly. Almost immediately after, she covered her face and laughed anxiously. “Oh god, that really did sound horrible. That’s not what I meant by that at all.” Boscha chortled and shook her head, letting the back of her knuckle tap [Y/N]’s arm. “No, it didn’t sound bad at all. I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I mean, if that hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have met, and…well, even if our dates had both shown up, I don’t think we would’ve enjoyed the night.

“Not to assume anything, but it seems like my date tonight wasn’t the only asshole in this situation. Whoever ditched you didn’t realize what they were losing.” [Y/N] rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her arm to gaze down at Boscha, a confused grin toying at her lips. “What are you talking about? I’m not much of a loss.” Boscha rolled over as well, though she stayed solid against the ground, peering up at [Y/N] from below. “You are so. You’re amazing. They don’t know what they’re missing.”

Again, a soft, confused chuckle sounded from [Y/N]. “C’mon, Boscha. You don’t know that. I mean, we just met, for god’s sake.” At that, the three-eyed witch finally sat up to make direct eye contact with her. “Well, yeah, maybe. But I can already tell how incredible of a person you are. Not once during this entire night have you judged me for anything. You’ve made it clear that you’re attentive and aren’t selfish. I just…I hope I don’t come across as selfish to you. It would honestly surprise me more if you didn’t think of me that way, actually. I’m not exactly the most compassionate witch.”

[Y/N] scoffed and scooted over to gently bump her shoulder against the other girl’s. “What? Are you crazy? Of course you’re compassionate.” “Huh?” “Boscha, all you’ve done since we’ve met is make sure I’m happy. You’ve cracked jokes nonstop to make me laugh. I probably would’ve still been in that hallway crying right now if you hadn’t checked on me to make sure I was alright. And you didn’t just ask if I was okay and then move along when I said I wasn’t. You sat with me and helped me talk things through until I really was.

“And then you convinced me to save the night by going back into the auditorium and enjoying the dance, even after all that had happened. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun since…well, ever, actually. You made tonight worth it. I loved being able to meet you and spend time with you.”

Boscha could only gawk at her in awe. No one had ever thought that way of her–not in a genuine way that they would actually admit aloud. It brought forth a new feeling that she had no idea how to process. As far back as she could remember, people would stare at her with pure fear or disgust. But now, as she looked up and gazed into [Y/N]’s eyes, all she could see was admiration. And from what had just been said, it seemed that admiration stemmed from affection rather than terror.

She couldn’t think of anything to say for a long while, and she could see [Y/N] growing unsure of herself.

“I loved spending time with you too,” she finally whispered at length. After a moment or so, she steeled her nerves and gently took [Y/N]’s free hand into her own. She glanced down and watched as she let the pad of her thumb gently caress the back of her knuckles. “And I really hope I get to spend more time with you in the future.” She tried her best to glance back up to gauge her reaction, but her eyes averted that direction each time and settled back down at their connected hands.

The soft blades of grass that were once comforting merely minutes ago now made her exposed skin burn and itch uncomfortably as she shifted around, unable to sit still and maintain her composure.

“I’d love that,” was her response after a while. Finally, she managed to glance back up, her breath shuttering as she studied the breathtaking smile that graced [Y/N]’s lips. Her face brightened at the answer, turning a soft shade of red. “Really?”

“Yes.”

She knew then, at that very moment, that everything that had happened was for a reason. She never thought she’d be thankful for the fact that someone had ditched her, but she knew she never would’ve met [Y/N] otherwise. Likewise, she never thought she’d think of anything other than showing off to others about what she had achieved. She figured she would’ve wanted to take the best possible photo with the other girl to post online–a silent jab at her ex-date from that night. She thought she would’ve used PDA as a way to “claim what’s hers,” but none of that ever happened.

It was a few weeks after the two started dating–at a much later date, of course–that she finally posted something relating to her relationship. There were no undertones of bitterness towards her ex, nor were there any mentions of being controlling or overprotective of her girlfriend. Instead, she showed off her favorite videos and photos she had taken during their first few dates with pride, simply feeling honored to be able to show off the girl she loved most of all.

She didn’t want the world to think that [Y/N] was hers.

She wanted to show that she felt lucky to have her.

She wanted to make [Y/N] feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

To give her everything she deserved.

To help her see that just by being herself, she was worth everything.

One-Sided

[The Owl House] Boscha x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.82k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Pure angst: one-sided love, a small fight at the end between Amity and Boscha, toxic (?) friendships, language.

[A/N]: Final story for Boscha for now. It might take a while for me to upload again, but it's because I've got multiple drafts already written for several other characters that I need to finish.

Enjoy!

 “Amity, look at Boscha,” Skara whispered with a knowing smirk as she nudged Amity’s shoulder to gain her attention. Amity, who had been staring down blankly at her book, unable to study with all the nearby commotion, huffed and flipped the cover shut. She lifted her head to glance up at Skara, then followed where she was pointing. From surprise, her eyebrows raised. “Did she forget that other people are around?” She replied just as quietly. Even from her angle at her seat in the middle of her group’s cafeteria table, Amity was able to watch as Boscha held up her scroll.

She had been asked to take a picture of a few people, one of which was [Y/N] [L/N], the girl everyone knew Boscha had fallen for. She had her camera up on her screen, but it was very clear that she had zoomed in to get a visible shot of [Y/N] instead. A soft crimson managed to dust itself across the witch’s features as she bit back a smile. Before she turned her scroll to show the group, she snapped a much quicker photo after carelessly zooming back out in an attempt to hide what she had just done. [Y/N] grinned upon seeing the group photo and thanked her. She asked Boscha to send her the photo before she sat back down at the table across from Amity.

Boscha enthusiastically agreed and typed away on her screen. Within seconds, [Y/N]’s phone went off to show she had done as requested. She grinned up at the taller girl, whose face reddened even further as she giddily took a seat next to her. “Thanks!” “Yeah, no problem.”

Curiously, Amity cocked an eyebrow at her. When Boscha turned and made eye contact, she seemed awkward about something–almost as if she was wanting to ask a question. Instead, she turned to the surface of the table in front of her, her gaze landing on a drink she had brought in with her a few moments ago. With a small breath to steel her spiked nerves, she slid the drink over to [Y/N], who glanced over at it with confusion.

“I heard you liked that drink from a few people, so I figured I’d get it for you.” The grin she was met with as a reply made her own lips stretch up into a wide smile. “Oh, thanks! You didn’t have to do that.” “It was no problem, really.” Almost immediately, [Y/N] took a sip from the small cup, humming happily in satisfaction once she placed it back down.

Amity could see how Boscha got lost in a daze–much like the ones she found herself in once Luz arrived in the Demon Realm. The three-eyed witch’s gaze softened, a small smirk playing at her lips again as she continued to stare at [Y/N], who had turned away a bit to strike up a conversation with Amelia and Kat once they questioned the drink. Happily, [Y/N] explained to them that Boscha had bought the drink for her out of the kindness in her heart, to which the other girls glanced at each other. “That’s awfully sweet of you, Boscha,” Kat snickered. Boscha hadn’t even paid attention to the conversation, which was evident from the way she blinked at the sound of her name and finally managed to tear her eyes away from the girl sitting next to her. “Huh?”

Stifled chuckles were her response. She glanced at them in confusion, but ultimately shrugged it off and turned her attention back to [Y/N]. Amity pretended to open her book to continue reading, but she kept her hearing focused on what Boscha said, all the way up to where the bell rang. She had pretty much been talking about nothing at first, but eventually asked [Y/N] if she’d be at her “big Grudgby game” in a few days.

[Y/N] assured her she would be and started packing up her things from the table. She stood to toss her empty tray into the bin once the bell went off, then slugged her backpack onto her shoulders, still sipping from the drink Boscha had gotten her. She waved to the table and told them she’d see them at lunch. Before she could make it to the cafeteria door, however, Boscha practically bolted up from her own seat and darted over to catch up to the smaller girl, offering to walk her to her class.

No one at the table saw it, but they all knew [Y/N] had accepted her offer.

A groan of pure annoyance slipped past Skara and Amity’s lips as they tried their best to tune out Boscha’s words. All day every day, for the past several days, Boscha had been talking almost nonstop about [Y/N]. It only worsened after the final Grudgby match of the season, where she had shamelessly tried to flirt with [Y/N] after meeting up with her after the game. She messed up each line she tried to use, but didn’t mind it when the sound of [Y/N]’s sweet giggles met her in reply. It was hard for her team to witness, only because they had never seen Boscha act that way around anyone before.

That, and they weren’t sure how to let her know that [Y/N] wasn't interested in her in that way.

On top of the entire match being awkward, it had been clear that Boscha was trying to show off the entire time. More than she usually did, anyway. This time it was obvious why she was doing it. It wasn’t because she wanted to intimidate her opponents, nor was it because she wanted to impress her own team. Instead, she was showing off to an extreme because she wanted to catch a certain girl’s eye. She hadn’t been so aggressive during the first round, but that almost instantly changed once she finally spotted [Y/N] in the bleachers cheering her on.

Today seemed to be worse than the others. From the moment she walked in the building, Boscha had been talking nonstop about her, all but gushing about how incredible of a person she was. “Oh my Titan. Boscha, could we please talk about something else? Anything else? Anything at all,” Skara whined as the three of them sat down at their table for lunch. “Yeah,” Amity started, equally as exhausted, “I know I was pretty bad when I first started crushing on Luz, but I knew when to stop talking about her the way you’re talking about [Y/N]. I mean, talking about a conversation or a game or something is one thing, but the way you’re pouring out compliments left and right is kind of… tiring.”

“Yeah. Plus, there’s no way you have a chance with her,” Skara muttered, thinking no one had heard her. Amity stiffened in her seat, her breath hitching as her head snapped over to glare at her and her hand lifted to smack her arm. Upon realizing what she had said wasn’t just heard by herself, Skara gasped silently and covered her mouth, wishing she could take her words back. No one in the group had the heart to break the news to Boscha. They didn’t want to either.

Ever since [Y/N] had torn down her walls, Boscha started to soften up and take on a much kinder approach when dealing with others. They didn’t want her to find out the truth and revert back to her old ways. They were proud of her for showing she was willing to change for the better, and they didn’t want to ruin it for her or anyone else.

Boscha frowned as she turned to them. “What do you mean? Wouldn’t she tell me if she wasn’t interested? I’m pretty sure it’s clear to her what I’m doing. I mean, it’s obvious to everyone else, apparently.” She grimaced and looked down at her hands, watching as she tapped away at the backs of her hands with her nails. “I thought I was hiding it well, honestly.” Amity sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, mentally preparing herself for the conversation she knew she couldn’t avoid any longer. Silently, she turned to Skara and gave a small motion, to which Skara nodded and stood, slipping away to another table and making sure the others left them alone.

“Boscha, I have to be honest with you. I can’t see you do this to yourself any longer. Just… promise me you won’t freak out and make a scene, okay?” Now, with her expression entirely riddled and contorted with confusion, Boscha could only nod. She subconsciously felt her hand sneak up to toy with the charms on her bracelet–the one that [Y/N] had given to her as a thank you for her first gift after stumbling into the Isles.

Letting out a shaky exhale, Amity pulled out her scroll and clicked onto a specific conversation she’d had with [Y/N] about a week or two prior. Upon finding it, she turned it around for Boscha to see, watching as she scanned through the messages. A nervous chuckle escaped her throat as she gripped at her charms tightly now. “Wh-What is this?” Amity frowned. “You know what it is, Boscha. These are texts between [Y/N] and myself. And, based on your reaction, you read the whole thing.” The taller witch now averted her gaze and dipped her head down to hide her face, staring at her lap.

Attempting to comfort her, Amity placed her hand on Boscha’s shoulder, only for it to be shrugged off. “I’m sorry, Boscha. I figured you would’ve found out for yourself, but I guess you were too focused on how you felt for her instead.” She waited, staring expectantly at her for some kind of reaction. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“She already likes someone else.”

The moment the words left her mouth, Amity could only watch as Boscha trembled before forcing herself to stand. She picked up her bag and finally looked back at the youngest Blight, whose eyes widened only a fraction once seeing how dull Boscha’s eyes now seemed to be. “Tell the rest of the teachers that I wasn’t feeling good, alright? I’m going home.” She nodded as an answer and frowned as her eyes followed Boscha leaving the room.

She glanced back over at Skara, who was already looking over at her. Her features crinkled with concern, a sign she wanted to know what happened. Amity huffed, ran her hands down her face, then moved to join her and the others at the other table to explain.

 Nearly a month had passed since Boscha was made aware of [Y/N]’s feelings for someone else. For the first two weeks, she tried to move past it and pretend she was still fine. She wanted others to think she was mature enough to understand it wasn’t the end of the world. She knew it wasn’t, logically speaking, but it felt so much like everything was crumbling around her. She had been trying to change herself for [Y/N], hoping to catch her eye, only for it to all fall apart.

Amity tried to tell her that she shouldn’t have been trying to better herself just to impress someone, but quickly stopped bringing it up after seeing how distraught Boscha seemed at the mere mention of anything that had happened. [Y/N] hadn’t been made aware of anything, although she thought Boscha knew anyway. She could still sense something was wrong, however, and slowly shifted where she sat in the cafeteria to give the witch some space. Ultimately, she ended up sitting at the table Luz shared with Willow and Gus.

It only sent Boscha spiraling further. Soon enough, she started to hide from the others during the times they’d usually meet up. During breakfast and lunch at school, she’d eat in the auditorium, out by the Grudgby field, or would skip eating altogether. Anytime Skara or Kat tried to invite her to hang out with them like they used to, she’d come up with some excuse to stay home.

As much as she hated teenage angst, and as much as she knew she was likely being overdramatic, Boscha couldn’t help but feel heartbroken. Her world seemed to shatter around her. She eventually stopped attending Grudgby practices and matches, only showing up when absolutely necessary to avoid getting kicked off of the team. To add insult to injury, because of her absences, she was demoted from Team Captain, the role instead being given to Skara.

It made it harder for her to keep attending classes or practice, even after Skara offered to ask the coach to give her the role back. Boscha denied it and told her she’d give the team a better chance anyway before ghosting her again, the same way she had been doing to everyone. It became rare for anyone to get a response from her. Most of the time, she could be found lying face up on her bed, her eyes blank and dull as she mindlessly stared up at the ceiling. She knew her social life was ruined, and she knew she needed to start moving on, but even a small glimpse of [Y/N] or something that reminded her of the girl had her curling up and away from the outside world all over again.

Amity and the others had to start bringing her the schoolwork she had missed, much to the dismay of their teachers. They eased up, however, once being made aware of the situation. They sympathized with her, but still continued to tell her she needed to try to keep up. After all, a love life wouldn’t get you anywhere in life. You needed to focus only on your future career, and that included any work that was involved. That’s what Amity’s mother, Odalia, had been saying anyway.

Amity eventually stopped bringing the events up around her family. Boscha had enough on her plate. She didn’t need her mother complaining to Boscha’s moms about it–that would only lead to them bombarding her with endless questions and unintentionally making her feel more guilty.

One day, Boscha seemed a little more hopeful than she had been. She came back to school and managed to make it throughout the whole day, attending each of her classes and even participating as much as she could. When Amity asked if she was feeling better, Boscha grinned, though it was clear it was forced. “Not exactly,” she muttered. She yawned, the lack of sleep visibly getting to her. “But I think there’s still a chance.”

Before Amity could ask what she meant, the final bell of the day rang, echoing down the halls to announce the dismissal. Boscha almost immediately headed out the door and hopped onto her staff once making it outside the building. She flew off. Amity sighed and looked over at the now empty seat next to her, spotting Boscha’s bag still resting on the ground.

She picked it up and carried it in front of her as she walked out to place her books in her locker. Once making it there, she gently let the bag settle on the ground in front of her, then tugging her books out from her own backpack and tucking them away in the large maw of her locker. “Amity, hey!” Luz called out, joining her over towards the wall. “Whose bag is this? I saw you carrying it over here. Is it some kind of collection of yours? Maybe like the ones Eda has piled up everywhere?”

Softly, Amity laughed at her excitedly laced words and shook her head. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s Boscha’s bag. She left it in class by accident.” Luz tilted her head, now concerned. “She forgot her whole bag? Jeez.” A short moment passed. She wanted to think ahead of how Amity might react to her next question. “Is she okay? She’s been seeming so… down lately.” The witch’s frown returned, and she shrugged. “Yeah, I know. She’s not doing so well. I can’t exactly talk about it, but she’s pretty heartbroken right now.”

Luz nodded, not wanting to pry any further. She glanced back down at the bag again. “Are you gonna bring this to her tonight? I know it’s the weekend now, but I’m sure she has plenty of work to catch up on. Kinda hard to do that without all of her folders and binders.” Amity nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to go give it back after dinner. I want to message her to let her know ahead of time so I don’t just show up unannounced.”

Amity knocked on Boscha’s door urgently, the bag she had tugged along the entire flight there long forgotten. She had messaged Boscha after dinner, just as she had told Luz she would do, only to receive a response for her to get there immediately. “Boscha? Are you alright?” She reached to twist the doorknob, only for it to rattle and rotate from the other side. She jumped and stepped back a bit once the door swung open.

Amity couldn’t help but gasp at Boscha’s appearance: hair tangled and matted, clothes wrinkled and messily thrown on, and tears streaking rapidly down her face. “Amity,” she choked out between sobs, instantly pulling her into the room and tugging her into a tight hug. Her body trembled with each cry and whimper that wracked throughout her body. She eventually collapsed to the ground, Amity barely managing to catch her.

“Boscha, what happened?” A much louder chain of weeping erupted from the three-eyed girl, making Amity’s heart stop for a moment. What had happened in the span of a few hours that had left her so devastated? “I fucked it up. I fucked everything up,” she finally responded after a moment.

“What do you mean? What did you mess up?”

Finally, Boscha pulled back from the embrace, summoning her scroll and clicking on her most recent conversation. She continued to sob as she handed it to Amity, who read through everything quickly. “Oh… Boscha, I’m–” “She rejected me. I finally managed to tell her how I feel, and she told me she didn’t see me that way: she doesn’t love me. That she loves someone else and–a-and,” she stopped mid-stutter before she could choke on her ragged breathing.

“And wants to confess to them and ask them out,” Amity finished for her. Boscha hunched over, now letting her head press against the rough, wooden floorboards beneath her, her arms flying up to cover herself. Another cry slipped through, though it was far weaker, her shoulders finally slumping with defeat. “I shouldn’t have said anything to her,” she managed to whisper after a long moment. Amity had no idea what to say. She could only stare down at her friend with tears pricking her own eyes and blurring her vision.

She tucked the scroll away to let the only source of light dwindle off before lifting Boscha enough to take her into her arms. Soft words of affirmation managed to leave her lips as she rubbed soothingly at her back. “It’ll be okay, Boscha. I promise it will. These things just take time to heal from. I know you can do it, though.”

Gently, she lifted Boscha’s head to look her in the eye as best as she could. “You have me and Skara, and I’m sure Amelia and Kat wouldn’t mind helping you through this too. We aren’t going to leave you to deal with this on your own.” Boscha sniffled, straightening her back a bit to sit up. She wiped at her wet eyes, though more tears spilled soon after.

“But I don’t want to do it without her. I don’t want to do anything without her.”

Amity nodded with a small sigh. “I know. But you can still do it either way. I know you don’t want to, but just give it a chance, okay?”

Boscha’s eyes flickered back and forth for a bit, as if reading a script. A concoction of emotions flooded her senses, fury and sorrow leading the brew. Chipped fingernails dug into the fabric of her shorts as she shuddered. There were so many things overwhelming her mind–so many things she wanted to say, all out of her need to channel her anger after bottling it up for so long. She didn’t know what to do, and certainly didn’t know what to say, but she tried for an exhaustingly long moment to come up with something.

Finally, with her brows furrowed tightly together, she sniffled and managed to stand, using the collar of her t-shirt to wipe away her tears. “I’m not promising anything. I don’t want anyone’s help either. I can do stuff on my own. I have all my life. I don’t need anyone else.”

“Boscha, don’t–”

“Get out.”

She stepped forward and practically shoved Amity out the door once she stood to meet her eye-to-eye, slamming it right after and locking it. Amity, surprised by both the sudden motion and change in mood, knocked repeatedly and rattled the doorknob. “Boscha, please, open the door. You can’t lose yourself over something like this. You have to move on.”

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me to move on!” She hollered back from the other side of the door, punching it to emphasize her anger. “I’ll do whatever I want, got it? Get out. Leave. Just– leave me alone already!”

Amity tried for an hour more to convince Boscha to let her back in, but quickly slipped out of the house once she heard the front door downstairs opening and closing, followed by familiar voices. Once she was sure she was alone, Boscha curled back up on her bed and threw her covers over her head to muffle out her cries.

Her heart throbbed uncomfortably in her chest, hammering against her ribs. She hated the feeling. She hated all of her feelings lately, including the ones that led her to believe making a last attempt of confessing would fix everything. She bit down harshly against her blanket, trying to prevent herself from letting out another audible cry. The last thing she wanted to deal with was her moms trying to comfort her. She wanted to be alone, even if it meant dealing with her bubbling emotions on her own.

Every nerve throughout her body felt numb, making her limbs feel impossibly weak. She couldn’t have even lifted the blankets back off of her if she tried. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to stop her silent rivers of tears and fall asleep, hoping it would ease the headache pounding in her skull. She hated all of the pain, both physical and emotional. She wanted it to disappear forever.

The feeling was only temporary, she knew. The one-sided love that had destroyed her and her life, however, was eternal.

Possessive?

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.45k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Mentions of feeling possessive, language (?), implications of feeling like a burden.

[A/N]: This is based off of the movie from 2004, not the musical, but I changed a few things to help it better fit today: the characters have modern cellphones and use social media such as TikTok and Instagram.

Enjoy!

 Janis was well aware of how her mannerisms could come across to others who didn’t understand her. She knew that sometimes, even if she tried her hardest to prove otherwise, she came across as overprotective and possessive of her loved ones. When she had been friends with Regina back in middle school, things started to spiral. Regina soon started dating, only a few months shy of moving up into her first year of high school, and started to ignore Janis more and more, especially once things were official with her very first boyfriend. Janis, who had grown accustomed to spending every day with Regina, would text and call her relentlessly. The two of them would make plans, only for the blonde to cancel last minute without letting her know, essentially ghosting her each time.

After this happened a few times, Janis grew apart from the others and left the school for the rest of the year, cutting ties with Regina. When she returned to start her Freshman year of high school, she had a whole new style. Finding comfort in her new gothic aesthetic, she finally began to express herself the way she wanted, long forgetting about the bright shades of pink Regina would force her to wear in middle school. Because of this sudden change, Regina made it known she didn’t approve by convincing others to poke fun at her, progressively growing more aggressive with her bullying. After all, how would it look if she was still friends with the "weird punk girl?"

Soon after she started to become an outcast, Janis distanced herself from others, all except Damian and her fellow art lovers. She found solace in the company of her friends. She sat with them at lunch, chatting away about art projects and contests coming up in town. It was hard for her to connect with others outside of her circle, too worried there would be another repeat of what happened with the one girl she thought would be her best friend for life.

A student transferred into the school one day, however, and immediately caught Janis’s eye. She was introduced to the class, gleefully waving to everyone as she spoke her name, and was guided to sit beside the goth at the back of the classroom. Right away, Janis grew obsessed with her. From the moment they first spoke, [Y/N] was always on her mind. She was dressed similarly to Regina, although she never wore pink. Instead, she wore muted shades of yellow, green, and blue. Her style was comforting in comparison to the eyesore the Plastics wore everyday.

Even with her brighter clothes and nature, [Y/N] seemed to have more in common with Janis than either of them would’ve thought. Both were openly vocal about their opinions, not necessarily caring about anyone else’s views, albeit [Y/N] tended to take on a more open-minded approach. The two of them could also frequently be heard coming back at someone with a clever, snarky remark when insulted or teased. What drew Janis to her most, however, was her love for art. She was silently grateful that the two of them shared the same art class. Eagerly, they’d babble away about what either of them were working on. For each group project, Janis would ask if she could work with [Y/N] instead of whoever she was already paired with, to which the teacher would reluctantly agree.

Rather shortly after their first meeting together, Janis invited [Y/N] to her table, not entirely surprised to see that she got along with everyone immediately upon sitting down. Damian noticed Janis’s interest in her instantly, and once again, Janis wasn’t surprised when he started to taunt her relentlessly for it. He’d even begun to message her back and forth. Here and there, when the texts would grow too frequent too shortly, she’d block him for an hour or two before unblocking him to message him back and ask if he wanted to hang out.

One day, while mindlessly swirling her spoon around in her half full pudding cup as she curled up on the couch, Janis sheepishly admitted that he was right about her feelings for the newcomer to their group. Damian cheered triumphantly and bragged about how he knew it the whole time, laughing when he received a playful elbow jab to the arm or gut. Eventually, he set the teasing aside and asked her if she planned on confessing to her and asking her out. She shrugged, expressing her worry that [Y/N] wasn’t into girls or that she would laugh at her for taking an interest in her. Damian stared at her for a moment as if she were crazy.

“Uh, hello? Janis, are you insane? Have you not heard the way she talks about women? There’s no way in hell she isn’t as gay as you.” Janis rolled her eyes at his words, but reflected on them regardless, wondering to herself if she might have a chance with her. “Well, yeah, maybe. But what if she does say yes to dating, and then Regina or someone else finds out and makes fun of her for it? I don’t want her to deal with all of that shit. For fuck's sake, she just joined the school.” Damian shrugged. “Hey, she seems to be pretty tough. Like you.”

After a few weeks of planning, cowering, and chickening out of her plans, Janis finally managed to invite [Y/N] to her house when her parents were away for the night. The two of them watched a few movies while snacking on junk food, gossiped for a bit, and then bundled up under blankets as the mood shifted. Janis had turned in her spot on the sofa to gaze over at [Y/N], her eyelids lowered as she got lost in thought. [Y/N] noticed Janis’s staring after a while and questioned her about it, worried she had something on her face as she subconsciously swiped at her mouth. Janis chuckled at her motion and shook her head.

“No, nothing’s on your face. I just…” She sucked in a breath, unsure of how to carry out her confession. Her mind wandered back to a few hours prior when she had been talking to Damian about what she should say. She sighed, her teeth catching her bottom lip for a moment before she finally looked back up at the girl seated in front of her, who was now gazing at her with curiosity.

It took several tries, but Janis was eventually able to tell her about her feelings. There was an overwhelming wave of relief that washed over her upon learning that [Y/N] was interested in women. Uncharacteristically, the goth fell silent, too shy to ask the question burning on her tongue. Her eyes dropped down to focus on her nails picking at one another as she tried her best to steel her nerves. Finally, after swallowing the lump she hadn’t even realized formed in her throat, she managed to squeak her question out.

“Would you wanna go out with me?”

She freaked out after a soft giggle came as her reply. Her head lowered, allowing her to hide her disappointment-filled eyes behind her fringe. “Sorry,” [Y/N] murmured, gently grasping Janis’s shoulder. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise. Not about your confession anyway. I’ve just never seen you this shy before. It’s nice seeing this side of you.”

Janis sighed softly in relief at her words, smiling and finally lifting her head back up. “So, is that a yes?” [Y/N] grinned, shifted over on the couch cushion, and placed a small peck to the ravenette’s cheek. “Of course it’s a yes, you dork. How could I say no?”

After talking about a few boundaries after they started dating, Janis began to proudly show her girlfriend off, sneering at anyone who would glance at her wrong. And just as if it were clockwork, Janis was once again starting to come across as possessive. [Y/N] would record a small video or take a quick selfie to post to her Instagram or TikTok, and Janis would always be seen in the frame in one way or another. She’d do whatever she could come up with, wanting to set a reminder that [Y/N] was hers.

When taking a picture in bed to send to a friend on Snapchat or through chat, Janis was touching her in some way, whether it be an arm draped casually around her waist, stroking her hair, or just laying directly on top of her. When taking a mirror selfie, she’d stand behind her and hug her from behind, or casually be doing something in the reflection, such as untying and retying her boots or pretending to check something on her phone. She wanted it to be known that [Y/N] was taken. When they had to go their separate ways for a bit, she'd not-so-casually drape one of her trademark army jackets over [Y/N]'s shoulders, kiss her on the cheek, and tell her she'd see her in a bit. Then, when she was in classes without her, Janis would start sketching [Y/N] from memory. She'd come back to them later when [Y/N] was in front of her to clean the illustrations up.

She wasn’t overbearing with her tendencies, however. Not once did she have a problem with [Y/N] going out on her own or wearing something that showed off her body. On the contrary, she encouraged her to wear what she was comfortable with and be independent out in public. After all, she wasn’t going to be able to stay with her every second of every day, even if she wished she could. She’d compliment her on each of her outfits and even make suggestions that would help her feel more confident, such as framing certain parts of her body.

And after what happened with Regina a few years prior, she made sure not to overwhelm [Y/N] with calls and texts where she was constantly questioning her about where she was at all times. There were times when she would call back-to-back, but those instances only happened when she grew worried. Janis would ask her to let her know when she made it home safely, but if she never received that text, she would start calling to make sure she was okay.

The only time she would make it clear that she was going to go with [Y/N], no matter where she was going, was when she knew Regina or someone close to Regina would be there. The last thing she wanted was [Y/N] being cornered and made fun of without her there to stand in. She knew [Y/N] was fine on her own and that she could defend herself just fine, but she also knew Regina–she knew how brutal and manipulative she could be. She didn’t want [Y/N] to suffer with the same kind of bullying she already had to deal with herself.

During arguments with other students, including Karen and Gretchen, Janis usually blew them off with a quick, witty remark and walked away, not wanting to deal with the headache they would cause if she gave in. Whenever she saw [Y/N] being picked on, however, she would lose her cool. Insults and sarcastic comments would spill from her lips with a terrifying accuracy, never afraid to cause a scene if it meant the person picking the fight would leave [Y/N] alone. More often than not, a teacher, staff member, or even [Y/N] herself would have to pull Janis away and help her calm down. Not even Damian had ever seen her grow so aggressive towards someone–even when Regina was involved.

On more than one instance, Damian truly thought Janis was about to get into a fistfight with whoever she was arguing with.

Even when the two of them were alone, whether it be at [Y/N] or Janis’s house, the goth would get defensive over her. There had been a time towards the end of the first semester when a new dance was growing popular on TikTok, and [Y/N] hopped on the trend almost immediately. It wasn’t necessarily suggestive, but it certainly wasn’t modest either. To add onto the tone of the song, [Y/N] put on a bit of a revealing outfit to fit in with the other dancers.

She had set her phone up in the den of Janis’s home, having been there for the past couple of days to keep her company while her parents were away on a vacation that Janis didn’t want to have any part of. As the countdown timer for the video went off, Janis happened to peek over from the doorway leading into the kitchen, wondering what was going on. As soon as the dance started, that familiar feeling took over her senses. A couple of seconds in, she leaned against the doorway, watching as [Y/N] cussed to herself under her breath, stepped forward, crouched down, picked her phone up, and stopped the recording.

As she started the video over and repositioned it and herself to try again, Janis silently stepped forward into the frame. When [Y/N] shifted to let her hips move back a bit for a move, the ravenette--now standing directly behind her--moved closer and slipped her arms around the shorter girl’s waist. She tugged her firmly against her own torso and gently dropped her chin onto [Y/N]’s shoulder, glaring at the camera and lifting her hand to flip it off.

She knew Regina was likely going to watch the video if it were to be posted, so she wanted to send a “friendly” reminder that [Y/N] is off limits and she has someone with her to help her fight off any teasing she may throw her way. In the back of her mind, she knew Regina would comment on how controlling and possessive she was coming across as–a repeat of their final year in middle school–but she didn’t care at that point. It would crush her if she knew someone was making fun of her girlfriend when she could easily prevent it. Or, at the very least, lessen how aggressive it was.

[Y/N] smiled and chuckled at her actions, letting the pad of her thumb glide across Janis’s arm as she leaned back to kiss her softly on the cheek. “Hun, it’s fine. I’m yours, okay? You know that.” Hesitantly, Janis let go of her and stepped back, allowing her to stop the recording again. She typed something into the caption, then started the video over, asking Janis to let her finish the dance. Janis agreed and stood back a bit further.

She watched as [Y/N] carried out the entirety of the dance. At the end, there were still a few seconds left where the song played freely. [Y/N] improvised a few moves as she chuckled, pulling Janis towards her at the end and letting her wrap her arms around her again. She pressed another kiss to the girl’s cheek and slid forward in an attempt to end the recording. Janis caught her, however, by carefully gripping her hips and tugging them back against her own. She pressed a kiss to [Y/N]’s shoulder with a small smile before finally letting her go.

 She watched with a content grin as [Y/N] picked up her phone and twirled around to face her, smiling ear to ear as she bounced over to stand in front of her again. She tapped a few buttons on her phone before pulling the ravenette into a hug. “I honestly didn’t think I was gonna be able to figure out how to do the whole dance in one go,” she murmured as she leaned back, smirking at the feeling of Janis’s arms resting around her waist.

With a quick motion, she slipped from the goth’s embrace long enough to grab ahold of her hand and tug her towards the couch. As she did so, she snatched the remote from the coffee table and plopped herself down on the middle cushion. Janis followed suit, sitting down closer to the armrest. She watched as [Y/N] clicked the TV on and scrolled to YouTube to browse through the random videos suggested to her, asking which one they should watch first. Janis shrugged and hummed. “Whatever sounds good to you.”

After a moment or two, [Y/N] managed to settle on a video and turned it on. Before she could get comfortable, her phone began to ding and buzz repeatedly, prompting her to glance down at the several notifications popping up on her lockscreen.

She looked over at Janis, who had clearly noticed the sudden attention, and beamed at her. “It’s just people on TikTok talking about the dance. Nothing bad.” She held up her phone to reveal the likes and comments rolling in on the videos she had just posted. Surprised, Janis’s eyebrows raised as she scanned the screen. “You posted it? I figured you would’ve waited until you didn’t have to worry about me ruining it.”

“What? Why would you ruin it?” Janis shrugged and averted her gaze, glancing between the carpeted floor and the TV screen. Her arm lifted far enough for her chipped, painted nails to scratch anxiously at the back of her neck. “Ah, I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried I’m too much sometimes. I don’t want you to think I’m, like, obsessed or something. I mean, I am, but not in some kind of controlling way, y’know? At least, that’s not how I’m trying to have it come across.” She murmured on a bit longer, trailing off and sighing when [Y/N] laughed softly at her rambling. “Sorry,” she whispered much softer.

“No, no, don’t apologize. I think it’s cute when you ramble like that. And don’t worry, it’s not coming across like that at all. Not to me, anyway. In fact, I actually find it kind of attractive when you get all protective over me.” Janis’s head perked up at her words. “Really?” “Yep.”

She smiled, her tense features softening as she nodded. “I’m glad.”

She glanced back at the TV for a second before shuffling forward, sliding behind [Y/N] to hold her and let her lean into her chest. Softly, she let her head plant itself against the girl’s shoulder, hiding the lower half of her face. She peeked out from behind [Y/N]’s hair and watched her tap away randomly at different posts she scrolled past, liking and saving a few here and there. After a moment, Janis let her hand slide up [Y/N]’s torso and down her arm to link their hands together. She squeezed her hand gently.

Too shy to ask right out, Janis leaned her head to the side to nudge [Y/N]’s neck. “You, uh,” she started. “You don’t think I’m too much, do you?” Although she couldn’t see it, a wide smile cracked across [Y/N]’s lips. She clicked back onto TikTok and onto her profile, pulling up her recent video and angling it to let Janis see it from her position and read the caption.

Janis grinned upon seeing her girlfriend’s dance on the screen, humming and nodding once it was finished. [Y/N] swiped to the next video she had posted. Janis then watched the second video, cringing a bit at her own actions being played back to her, but glancing down at the caption that caught her eye.

My knight in shining armor shielding me from all the creeps.🤺❤️

She chuckled softly and swatted teasingly at [Y/N]’s arm. “You dork. You know how corny that sounds?” [Y/N] laughed with her and nodded. “Yeah, I know. That’s the point. You know I love a good cliche.” They smiled at each other, slowly leaning in to share a small, chaste kiss. [Y/N] leaned further into Janis’s touch. She sighed at the feeling of the strong, warm arms around her waist, focusing on the comfort for a moment before speaking again to finally answer the question she had been asked.

Her free hand slid down after dropping her phone, allowing her to cup the side of Janis’s face that wasn’t pressed against her neck. The tips of her fingers gingerly fiddled with the tips of her fringe that tickled her skin, brushing them away enough to let her stroke the soft skin on the ravenette’s cheek. At the feathery feeling, Janis’s eyes fluttered shut. She sighed silently and opened her eyes again when she heard [Y/N] speaking.

“But no, I don’t ever think you’re too much.”

Busy Confession

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.81k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: Language, anxiety, and feelings of rejection

[A/N]: Story three for Janis--I'll be working on another character soon. I still have a couple of characters I want to write for, but then I'll upload the master list I'm currently making and start answering requests.

[A/N] #2: Sorry this one took longer than the others. I've been trying to post every Saturday, but I could not for the life of me figure out how to write this one. I haven't proofread this yet, so let me know if there are any mistakes.

Enjoy!

 “Oh come on, turn red already!” Janis hollered, her voice raising towards the end as her nails dug into the material of her steering wheel. Her hands had begun to cramp in the past few minutes, and she knew it was from her white knuckled grip that she had on the wheel during the entirety of her drive, but each time she tried to loosen said grip to help her tense, aching muscles relax, they’d return to their firm grasp at the mere thought of the text she had received.

Logistically speaking, Janis knew [Y/N] wasn’t trying to come across as flirty or teasing. In the emotional part of her mind, however, she wondered if it was actually the opposite–if the girl she had been crushing on for years was finally picking up on it and was now taunting her with semi-flirty responses. Usually, when her emotions would spiral out of control the way they were in the moment, she’d head to [Y/N]’s house to rant about it and ask for any kind of advice. Since that was who was causing what she was feeling, however, she knew she had to resort to her other best friend: Damian. Too jittery from her gay panic, Janis only managed to call him long enough to let him know she was headed over.

He had tried to say something to her before she hung up, but she was in too much of a rush to get in the car that she didn’t comprehend a word he said. She hopped into her car after barely remembering to snag her keys from the hook by the door, scolded herself when she struggled to get the key into the ignition, then sped off out of her driveway toward the direction of Damian’s house.

On the way there, she continued to glance anxiously over at her phone, which she had tossed over into the passenger seat. She feared that [Y/N] would notice her going silent and say something, but she herself couldn’t think of anything to say. With anyone else, she could blurt out a clever retort or crack some kind of joke. With this girl, however, she always seemed to find herself falling silent. The last thing she wanted to do was say something weird or make the situation worse and lose [Y/N]. She was aware that wasn’t how it would happen. After all, she had known [Y/N] far longer than she had known Damian, and even knew her before Regina George changed the course of her life back in middle school.

But that was exactly why she was suddenly so cautious over her words around her. She didn’t want to ruin all of those years together and lose the one person who genuinely seemed to love her for who she is. As far back as she could remember, [Y/N] was the one person she could always rely on without the constant worry of being talked about behind her back. She didn’t want to ruin that by assuming [Y/N] felt the same way about her that she did.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Janis finally made it to Damian’s house. There, she practically fell out of her car with her phone tugged tightly against her chest. Quick footsteps beneath her was all she could hear as she more or less ran to the front door. Subconsciously, her arm raised far enough for the side of her fist to pound against the thick wood of the door now in front of her. Almost immediately after, it swung open, revealing Damian standing there with a conflicted look. Before he could say anything, however, Janis pushed her way past him and dashed into the kitchen. She froze in the doorway upon seeing Cady standing there as well, visibly confused at her desperation.

“Janis? What’s going on?” Speechless for a moment, Janis could only stare at her. At length, Damian stepped in and cleared his throat, moving to stand beside Cady. “Yeah,” he started, “I was trying to tell you that she’s here, but I guess you weren’t listening. Which, I mean, your face right now kinda confirms that for me.” Finally, the goth managed to blurt out a small, “oh,” before glancing at her feet to avoid eye contact with the redhead still glancing at her in puzzlement. “Am I interrupting something?”

A heavy sigh slipped past Damian’s lips as his hand shifted up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No, but I think I’m not the only one here that’s “too gay to function.” Not sure if she even heard me at all before she hung up.” Finally, a look of understanding crossed Cady’s features. “Oh,” she mumbled as she once again turned to gaze at Janis. Although she was still averting her eyes from Cady’s focus, Janis managed to sneer up at Damian at his words.

Now worried she was in the way, Cady slipped past the two having a one-sided staredown and made her way over to the front door. “Well, I was just about to head out anyway.” Janis glanced up at this, looking slightly relieved. “But, uh…I’ll give you a call about our plan later on, Damian.” The exhausted teen, at the mention of his name, looked over at Cady as well and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”

With that, the redhead vanished through the door and began walking home. Only waiting a moment to make sure she was really gone, Janis quickly whipped her phone back up and powered it on, clicked over to her recent messages, and turned the phone for Damian to see. “Dude, I don’t know what to do. What the fuck do I even say after that? Do you think she knows how I feel about her? What if she does? I don’t want her to hate me for it. How would she react if she really did know? Would she–” Two hands landed heavily on her shoulders, halting her babbling and forcing her to look up and away from the screen.

“Janis, calm the hell down, holy shit.”

He huffed when she managed to settle a bit, then took the phone from her hand to read the screen properly. At the sight of the words [Y/N]’s had chosen, he chuckled and ran a hand down his face. “Good lord, I have no idea how you’re gonna survive if the two of you actually start dating.”

“That’s exactly why I came here, Damian: if I don’t ask her out soon, and if she starts talking like this all the time, I’m going to fucking die of embarrassment. Problem is, I have no idea how to ask her out without ruining everything. I need your help, man. Please.” Damian let out a laugh, crumbling whatever sense of confidence Janis may have had. “Oh my god, you and Cady are the bane of my existence today. How did I manage to not be busy the exact same day you both decided you needed relationship advice?” At his words, the goth tilted her head and hummed in confusion.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you over the phone: the reason Cady was here was because she was trying to figure out how to ask Aaron out on a date without Regina ripping her to shreds.” Janis’s brows shot up in surprise. “Oh, shit. Seriously? Is that what the phone call she mentioned was about?” Damian only nodded in reply, crossing his arms as he suppressed another groan. A moment passed where they only stood there in silence, and Damian was internally grateful his parents were at work as Janis had an existential crisis in the middle of their kitchen.

Finally, a smirk replaced his bothered grimace. “So, she wants to kiss you, huh? Wanna do that with her?” He teased, leaning down to nudge her shoulder and gain her attention again. Janis scoffed and shoved his arm away. Her head turned and lowered in an attempt to hide the growing shade of red on her face, though she wasn’t able to bite back the small grin that painted her lips. “You know damn well I do,” she murmured almost silently.

Damian snickered, cupping his ear and leaning toward her in a mocking manner. “What was that? Speak up–you know I’m selectively deaf.” Janis sighed, forcing herself to speak in a louder tone. “I said you know damn well I want to kiss her.” Upon finishing her statement, she stormed over to the kitchen table and planted herself in one of the chairs, crossing her arms on the tabletop and burying her face in them with a drawn out groan.

As she struggled to gather her thoughts, Damian moved to sit next to her, cackling softly to himself at seeing how uncharacteristically distressed his best friend was over a girl. “But it’s not just kissing you wanna do, is it?” He questioned after a moment. Janis shot up from her slouched position and gestured wildly with her hands. “Of course that’s not it! You know it isn’t! But I just…” She glanced down again, her fingers tangling themselves into her fringe and tugging harshly at the strands as she wordlessly went to war with herself, unsure of what to actually say.

“I just don’t wanna mess everything up,” she all but whispered in a broken confession, returning to her previous position of hiding her face in her arms.

The sound of a chair squeaking followed by something landing softly on the table and being slid her direction made her glance up again. Damian had slid her phone back over to her, though now it was face-down and powered off. “I know. I know you love her–pretty sure everyone does at this point. You’re terrible at hiding it.” Janis jabbed him in the arm again, making him chuckle. Upon seeing how distressed the goth was, he sighed, his voice taking on a much softer tone.

“But I do know that she’s one of those people too, even if that’s not what you wanna hear. Trust me, she feels the same. I’ve got quite the eye for these kinds of things.” Defeated, Janis sighed. She leaned back against the chair, dropping her head back to glare up at the ceiling. “Even if that were true, how the hell would I confess without sounding like some sort of loser? I don’t want her to think I’m a creep or something.”

Her friend hummed in thought at this, his eyes seemingly scanning everything and nothing in front of him at once. “Well, why don’t you make it count then? Make it special–your confession, I mean. Just add a whole bunch of stuff she likes. I mean, she loves going to the movies, eating out at restaurants, playing random sports and board games…there’s all kinds of stuff you could do.”

Janis remained silent for a while, prompting Damian to question if he said something wrong, or if she had even heard anything he said. Finally, right as he parted his lips to ask if she was alright, Janis slowly looked up with a growing smile, almost as if realizing something. “That’s a good idea,” she murmured. “Uh,” Damian started in reply, glancing around nervously as she pocketed her phone and began to stand. “Which one?”

“All of them.”

Over the span of another two and a half weeks, Damian managed to help Janis set up a plan where she could finally confess her feelings to [Y/N] and ask her out. The day had come that they agreed to put it into motion. Janis had never felt so nervous before. Not when she had a class presentation, not during any of the art contests she had participated in, and not even when she came back to school after leaving for the final half of her eighth grade year. She knew how to handle those levels of anxiety, but not this.

Never before had she confessed to someone–let alone someone she could actually picture a future with. In the past, when she found herself developing some sort of crush on another girl in her class, it was short lived. She never had to deal with the feeling long, which is why her feelings for [Y/N] became very evident after reflecting for a while.

In the days leading up to her confession, Janis more often than not found herself sketching [Y/N] on everything. She wasn’t able to focus during classes, so she’d pretend she was taking notes or working on an assignment to hide her inattention from the teacher. Even when [Y/N] wasn’t there for her to see, Janis was still doodling her from memory on anything and everything available to her.

Her sketchbook had been filled to the brim with illustrations of the girl before, but the closer she got to the end of the book, the more the pages seemed to be occupied by her face. No matter what she tried–playing video games, watching movies, going to work after school–she couldn’t get [Y/N] out of her head. More than usual, anyway. Tucked away in the corner of her  room, hidden by a thin white sheet, she kept a canvas propped up on her favorite easel. Underneath the cover lay a portrait of [Y/N] she had spent weeks on, always finding another flaw that had her repainting over the dried, flaking pigment.

In her mind, Janis could picture the girl so easily. She could recall every little marking, whether it be a scar or a freckle of some kind, it was so vivid. On her canvas and on paper, however, she just couldn’t seem to get it right. She wanted the illustrations and paintings she made of her to be perfect because that’s how she saw her.

That’s how she had always seen her.

It felt nice thinking about someone she loved so much, but it also worsened her anxiety for her upcoming plans.

She waited until school had been let out for a holiday toward the end of the second semester to carry them out. It would allow for her to set up an outdoor date that would hopefully take place past the beginning of her and Damian’s ideas, as well as give her time off from both school and work.

After making sure [Y/N] was ready for the day, Janis let her know she was headed in her direction to pick her up. The entire drive there, everything about her was shaky, including her breathing. By the time she arrived, her mind was numb and her limbs were tingling. She barely managed to type out a coherent message to let the girl know she was there. Her breathing only got worse once [Y/N] was in the car with her, sat so close to Janis, yet so far away somehow. When she greeted her, her voice cracked and shook, furthering her embarrassment. [Y/N] giggled at her, so she looked down. “God, fuck my voice,” she mumbled.

Again, [Y/N] chuckled, but planted her hand gently on the goth’s shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “Hey, I don’t know why you’re getting so flustered about it. Do you not remember when we first met back in elementary school? You know. When I was crying?” Janis sat up a little straighter and smirked. “Because another kid ate one of your dino nuggets during snack time? Yeah, I remember that. Squeakiest voice I’ve ever heard, even to this day.” [Y/N] faked a gasp and a look of offense, bringing her free hand to her chest in an exaggerated manner. “How dare you say that when Karen Smith exists in the same town as us?”

Finally, Janis snickered at her, turning back to the wheel and shifting her gear into drive. “Fair point,” she replied. She leaned over a bit. “You’re definitely the runner up, though.” A scoff and a playful shove was what she was greeted with in reply, prompting her to finally let out a proper laugh. Her smile visibly faltered for just a moment at the feeling of [Y/N]’s hand sliding off of her shoulder a moment later and moving back to rest in her lap in the passenger seat.

“So, what all are we doing today?” At this, Janis’s anxiety spiked once again. “Well, I thought we could go see a movie and then go eat somewhere before I show you the surprise I have for you.”

[Y/N] leaned over a bit, drawing out a long “oooh” with a dorky grin. “What’s the surprise?” Janis laughed and gently pushed her back, even though she didn’t want to. “If I told you the surprise, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Again, the girl in the passenger seat faked a look of hurt, though it was quickly replaced with a smirk. “Okay, okay, fine. Fair enough.”

As Janis began leading the car in the direction of the nearest movie theater, [Y/N] slipped her phone out from her back pocket and began typing away and swiping through her apps. Unintentionally, Janis continued to glance over at her and her screen periodically, some unknown feeling bubbling up underneath her skin and causing her throat to fall dry. Her hand slipped to the side to turn the AC’s settings up higher, then drove upwards to run down her face as she sighed. Whatever it was that she was feeling was making her burn up.

[Y/N]’s attention was drawn to Janis’s motions, her head perking up and turning in her direction. “You good?” The goth only nodded, desperately trying to scrounge up some sort of excuse as to why she was suddenly far more flustered than she previously was mere moments ago. “Yeah, I just…I’m really hoping you’ll like the surprise when we get to it. I worked really hard on it.” A small pause. “Oh.” Another pause, one that had Janis fighting the urge to scratch or pick at something with her fidgety hands.

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing, Jan. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

With a bit of force, Janis managed to convince her lungs to work properly again. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to hide her struggle in the motion, and let it slip back out in the form of a heavy sigh. “Yeah, okay,” she replied softly. Thankfully, before things could grow even more awkward, Janis pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. She switched the engine off and tucked her keys away in one of the pockets of her black, baggy cargo pants. “Well, I guess we should get inside if we wanna get through the long ass line for concessions,” she explained as she pushed her door open and slipped out of the car.

Without thinking too much about it, Janis sped over to the passenger side and tugged the door open for [Y/N], who glanced up at her with a confused stare. She quickly chuckled, however, and stepped out, moving over far enough for Janis to close the door again and lock the car. “Such a gentlewoman,” she teased, prompting the goth’s pale face to flush red again. She still laughed, even through her slight embarrassment, and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” came her reply, though it was accompanied by a small bump against her shoulder. She had turned to walk towards the entrance, but [Y/N] had almost immediately caught up with her and nudged her arm with her own. Janis grinned at her and double checked that her car was locked before they got too far. As she stuffed her hands into her front pockets, Janis found herself glancing around at the other people littering the street nearby.

She subconsciously let her teeth hook against her bottom lip as she spotted the couples walking in and out of the building, each one leaning against each other and sharing light conversation or cracking jokes. Her fingers bent upwards, allowing her to toy with her rings as she managed to tear her eyes away from a pair sharing a quick kiss and focus on the ground in front of her. For just a moment, her eyes glimpsed over at [Y/N], who was squinting to try and read the movie posters lined up on the wall still halfway across the parking lot.

Janis couldn’t bite back her small smirk at her focused expression, though she let her gaze drop back down to continue watching her feet leading her forward. Too caught up in her thoughts, Janis let out a startled gasp when she felt two arms wrap themselves around her left one. One hooked around her elbow, the other sliding down so a hand could rest on her forearm. She turned her head to face who had clutched onto her, her cheeks and ears bursting with color as [Y/N] stepped closer and beamed up at her. “A-Ah, you okay?” Was all she could manage to ask between stuttering breaths.

“Yeah, I just like your jackets. They’re cozy, even if I’m not the one wearing them. Like, this sleeve?” [Y/N] gently patted the section of Janis’s sleeve covering her bicep to clarify, making the other girl jump, “it’s soft. Not sure how. Looks really rough, but it’s not.” She giggled to herself for a second. “Kinda like you.”

A darker shade of crimson dusted Janis’s already reddened face. “What?” [Y/N] smirked at her reaction. “Well, I mean, a lot of people are scared of you–specifically the freshmen–but I’m pretty sure it’s just because of your style. You’re really good with comebacks too, and even when they’re mean, they’re still funny as fuck. I think people are just afraid to confront you because they know you’ll destroy them. But you’re actually the sweetest person I know. And you’re really cool. I don’t think you and I have ever really gotten into an actual argument, but I also think it’s because you make sure to listen to me and hear me out.

“Most of the time. Unless you’re trying to lecture me on my gaming skills.” Janis smiled at her last statement, though her heart hammered against her ribs for the small speech before. She thinks I’m sweet? And cool? Unintentionally, she tuned out the majority of what the conversation was about as they both headed inside, the wide, sheepish grin never leaving her lips.

They got their tickets checked, stepped into line, got their drinks and snacks, then headed to the room playing the movie they were there for. As they sat in their seats toward the back of the room, Janis finally felt her spiked nerves subsiding a bit, realizing they could both focus on the movie and avoid having to make awkward conversation.

She didn’t pay attention to most of the film. Although her anxiety had calmed, it was certainly still there. Each time she thought of what she had planned next, another wave of trembling shot through her body. Roughly halfway through, [Y/N] shivered, shifted in her seat, and grumbled something under her breath, gaining Janis’s attention. Sensing eyes now on her, [Y/N] made eye contact and sent a nervous smile in her direction. “Sorry, I just keep forgetting how cold this damned theater is.”

Janis hummed, and almost instantly, after putting her box of small chocolates down, she slid her jacket from her arms. She leaned over a bit, motioning for [Y/N] to lean forward. When she did, the goth dropped the jacket gently on her shoulders and pulled it around her a bit before moving to sit properly in her chair again. She fought the urge to glance back over at [Y/N], but from the corner of her eye, she could see the girl tug the jacket snug around her frame. She let out a gentle sigh at the warmth.

Janis cracked a smile without realizing. She picked her overpriced sweets back up and pulled another one from the box, popping it in her mouth before scooching over enough to take a sip from her soda. For the remainder of the movie, the two sat in silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence. When the film ended and the lights came on, they got up and wordlessly left the theater. Once they were in the car, Janis finally fully looked over at [Y/N], sucking in a breath at the sight of the jacket now fully on her.

Sometime during the ending, [Y/N] had ultimately slipped her arms into the sleeves to wear it properly. Janis beamed, feeling a strange sense of pride. “So,” [Y/N] chirped, snapping her out of her trance. “Which restaurant are we going to?”

Oh, right. Her plans.

Janis, to distract herself momentarily, turned her car on and began the journey to the restaurant she had made a reservation at prior to the movie. She checked the time before answering. “Ah, it’s that new Italian place down by the mall.” “Oh, cool! Have you heard if it’s good?” “Yeah, it’s got a lot of good reviews online. It was also honestly the only place I could find that the two of us haven’t both been to.” [Y/N] laughed gently. “Yeah, but who knew we’d end up being drawn to so many different places here?”

The time at the restaurant, much like the theater, was hard to pay attention to for Janis. Throughout the meal, even when she didn’t realize it, she could be caught practically staring at [Y/N] as they both ate their dishes. She managed to focus enough to answer any questions thrown her way and keep the conversation going, but had anyone asked what they talked about, she wouldn’t be able to answer.

By the time they had made it back to the car, [Y/N] was able to tell something was wrong. As soon as the car started and Janis pulled out onto the road to head toward her next plan, [Y/N] tapped her arm to get her attention. A hum slipped from the goth to show she had acknowledged the touch, though she kept her eyes on the road. “Are you alright? You’ve been really…quiet. Like, all day.”

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m still just really nervous about the whole surprise thing. Which…is where we’re going now.”

After she pulled up to an empty parking lot, Janis took a breath, practically freezing in her seat as [Y/N] slowly got out of the car. A moment or so later, at the sound of a knock on her window, the goth finally pulled her attention away from the steering wheel to find [Y/N] standing there, confused. Finally, she managed to pry herself out of the driver’s seat and close the door. She locked the car with trembling hands before wordlessly walking in a random direction. With a small squeak of surprise, [Y/N] jogged to catch up with her, immediately questioning where she was headed.

“Oh, right,” Janis muttered, glancing up at the now concerned girl for just a second. She turned around to face where she was walking again. “Sorry, I’m just…I’m leading you to where the surprise is, I just forgot to say that somehow.” “Oh.”

Too anxious, Janis couldn’t force herself to blurt anything out, too afraid of making small talk as they headed to where her source of anxiety was originating from. The entirety of the walk, [Y/N] trailed behind her and quickly told herself to just look around at the scenery. They had stopped at some kind of large park, though the part they were headed toward looked more like the entrance of the woods. The sight at the darker shade under the trees caused her nerves to spike, though she calmed down when Janis finally managed to mumble a really soft–almost inaudible–“we’re almost there.”

The closer they got to the wooded part of the field, the more concerned and puzzled [Y/N] grew. Finally, just as she was ready to ask if they were lost, or if Janis planned on killing her–which in her mind made sense, considering the goth had started acting weird in the past hour–Janis sighed and stepped to the side. She lifted and waved her arm, motioning toward a small setup partially in the shade. “We’re here.”

[Y/N] turned her focus to the setup, which made her gasp softly. It was a classic picnic scene: a red and white checkered blanket laid out neatly underneath a large oak tree, a small woven basket weighing one of the corners down, and a cooler for the drinks. However, a decently sized gift was wrapped up and was propped up against the bark. “Surprise,” Janis murmured, snapping [Y/N] out of her surprised trance.

“Oh, Janis,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.” Janis seemed surprised at her words, a small smile finally painting her lips again. “Really? I figured you’d find it cliche or something.” [Y/N] chuckled and gently nudged the goth’s shoulder. “I mean, you know I love a good cliche. It’s not a bad thing.”

After sharing an awkward grin, the two of them headed over to the blanket and sat down. They picked a few snacks from the basket on the corner, as well as a drink from the cooler, then ate slowly as they did their best to strike up a normal conversation. This worked for a very short amount of time, but [Y/N] eventually gave in and finally asked what it was all for, to which Janis grew nervous all over again.

She tried to find a way to segway smoothly into her confession, but eventually realized there was no point in trying to appear confident. She had blown that long ago. With a heavy sigh of defeat, she stared down at her lap, fiddling with the tab of her soda can to pull her attention away from the set of eyes on her. “Okay, I can’t keep this up anymore,” she began.

“I brought you here because I–” She swallowed hard and shut her eyes. It was just a confession. How hard could it possibly be?

“I brought you here, and did everything else today, to tell you that I really like you. Like, I’m in love with you. A-And I wanted to bring you here to ask you to be my girlfriend.” A moment passed where the two just sat in silence, and although she didn’t want to, Janis finally managed to open her eyes again to glance up at [Y/N]. She worried she had been completely ignored, but she mainly feared she was about to be made fun of by the one girl she actually had serious feelings for.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of [Y/N] blushing for the first time that evening, a small smile cracked across her lips. “Uh,” the goth stuttered. “It’s fine if you say no. When I told Damian about wanting to ask you out, he said I should make the whole thing special, so…here we are.” More silence, though Janis couldn’t tell that it was only there because [Y/N] couldn’t find the right words to express how she felt. After what felt like a whole hour to her, Janis finally sighed and put her drink down, readying herself to stand up. “This was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

As she began to lift herself off the blanket beneath her, a hand grasped her wrist, halting her movements and prompting her to sit down again. “No, I’m sorry, Jan! It wasn’t a mistake, I just…I never thought you’d actually ask.”

Janis could only gawk at her, mouth agape. “Huh?”

[Y/N] giggled at her reaction. “I would love to be your girlfriend, Janis.”

More laughter stemmed from Janis sitting there, purely dumbfounded as she visibly tried to process the words. Finally, a bright smile graced her lips, one wider than ever before. An excited glimmer shone in her eyes. “Wait, really? You would?” “Yeah, of course!”

Janis finally let out a laugh, then a sigh as she shifted to fall over and let her head land in [Y/N]’s lap. “Oh thank fucking god,” she blurted, causing the girl to chuckle and gaze down at her in slight bewilderment. “I’m so tired. I spent so much time planning this whole thing out. I wanted things to be perfect. I didn’t know you were going to say yes like it was the most obvious thing on earth.” They shared a laugh, the previously thick tension finally lifting.

“Yeah, no, I was always gonna say yes. But don’t worry, I really loved everything we did today. Uh, well, except when you were leading me to the woods and started acting weird. Thought I was about to be wiped from this planet.” Janis snickered again. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you.” She grinned softly up at her, shifting to lean against [Y/N]’s stomach. “But I am glad you liked everything today. That’s a relief.”

[Y/N] beamed wider and nodded. She drove her free hand upwards to let her fingers rake through the goth’s dark strands, causing her to let her eyes to flutter shut and lean into the touch. They stayed like that for a while, but [Y/N] eventually had a small reminder pop into her head. “Oh, what’s the box against the tree for by the way?”

Janis’s eyes shot open again, a deep crimson red dusting her cheeks. “Ah, well…” She hesitantly sat up and stood long enough to pick up the present and hand it to [Y/N]. She sat back down next to her and watched as she carefully peeled open the gift. Once it was mostly torn away, [Y/N] gasped gently at the sight of a canvas with a portrait of her, glazed over nicely with Janis’s signature down in the bottom left corner, right next to a small note.

To the one person who has always seen the best in me and has never treated me poorly. I hope this painting does you justice.

Silently waiting for a response, Janis kept glancing over between the portrait and [Y/N], trying to gauge her reaction. When she got nothing, the overly anxious girl cleared her throat. “Do you…like it?” Finally, [Y/N] turned to face her. “Are you kidding? I fucking love it,” was her reply. Janis huffed out a sigh of relief from the reassurance and smirked, leaning against the other girl’s shoulder and closing her eyes again. “Jesus Christ, another huge relief. I love you so much.”

Softly, [Y/N] nuzzled her head against Janis’s, slipping one hand from the partially unwrapped canvas to lift it and cup the girl’s cheek, her fingertips lightly grazing her raven hair.

“I love you too.”

Apologize

[Until Dawn] Samantha Giddings x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.04k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: An argument, but nothing really specific

[A/N]: This one's really short compared to the others, but it's because that's what my intention was. I didn't want to stress out over this one, so I gave myself a really low goal of 2k words. It was fun to write this. Hope you'll enjoy. Not sure who I'll write for next. At the moment, I only have six more characters I want to write for.

Enjoy!

 It was extremely hard for Sam to get angry at someone, let alone get into an actual argument. She tended to be the level-headed one in her friend group, never one to willingly indulge in drama. Very rarely did she raise her voice in a non-joking manner, so when she did, the people around her she was close to got very uncomfortable. Not necessarily because she was threatening, but because it was so unlike her. Fortunately, her girlfriend was the same way. The two of them hardly ever got into an argument that wasn’t playful.

So when one broke out one night, both of them grew uncomfortable. They got defensive, with Sam trying to steer the conversation in another direction, and [Y/N] trying to just agree to disagree. Neither one of them really remembered how the argument started, but they both knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

Another thing that was uncommon for the two women was for them to say something hateful toward anyone, even if they felt threatened. During the entirety of their relationship, which was running strong for over three years, no one in their shared friend group had ever witnessed them fight with each other. Out of all of them, she and [Y/N] were usually the ones who stayed calm and tried to compromise and keep the peace. And when anyone needed to talk something through with a trusted friend, she and [Y/N] were the go-tos.

Somewhere in the middle of the argument, one of them had slightly raised their voice, which in turn prompted the other to do the same. This continued until they were almost yelling at each other, something they had never done to one another. It was causing a great deal of stress on them both. They couldn’t seem to find a way to fix whatever had begun the whole ordeal.

As they grew louder, Sam shouted something of ill-intent toward [Y/N] in the heat of the moment, wanting to just be done with the argument. In response, [Y/N] threw back a similarly hateful retort, claiming she wished they had never started dating. She didn’t mean to say it–neither of them meant to say any of it–it all just spilled out before they could stop it.

Sam froze at her words, grimacing as she fought back the tears pricking her eyes. She sniffled and took a breath to prevent her voice from breaking.

“If that’s how you feel, then…”

She paused, trying to calm herself down and think things through. After a moment, she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“I’ll give you some space. We both need to calm down before we even try to talk this through.”

[Y/N] huffed. Usually, she’d agree without hesitation. Because of her hurt feelings, however, she was hesitant to do so. Instead, she turned on her heel and stormed into the kitchen, then the pantry. There, she grabbed her car keys and left through the front door, passing Sam on her way out. She slammed the door behind her, and she instantly regretted doing so, but she couldn’t take it back. Not once in her relationship with Sam had an argument gotten this bad. The two of them had never said dating was a mistake, nor had they thrown nasty comments at each other out of frustration.

Sam didn’t know how to deal with the situation quite yet, and neither did [Y/N]. Silently, [Y/N] agreed with Sam about giving each other space before working things out.

She hopped into her car and switched the engine on, pulling out of the driveway and speeding down the road. Once she came to a red light, she popped a CD in and cranked the music up, wanting to drown out her hateful thoughts.

As she drove off to who knows where, Sam remained in the living room of their shared home. She plopped herself back down onto the sofa cushions and sighed, burying her face in her hands as she replayed the entire conversation over and over again in her mind. Each time she recalled the words she spoke, or rather hollered, she flinched, wanting nothing more than to take them back.

There was no excuse for what she said. She didn’t even really remember why things had gotten so aggressive.

As she sat there, counting the hours while she waited for [Y/N] to come home, her guilt began to grow even further. She promised herself she’d sit down and talk things out once they were together again.

Whenever that may be.

She should’ve stopped [Y/N] from leaving.

She should’ve asked her to sit down with her, or at least stay home.

She should’ve kept her cool and ended the argument before it began.

And all the while, as her guilt ate away at her conscience, [Y/N] was battling with her own mind nearly halfway across town.

How could she have said something so cruel? Sam didn’t deserve that at all. She had no right to be that crude towards her. She had been trying to change the subject, but [Y/N], for some reason she couldn’t figure out, refused to give in. Instead, she wanted to just “agree to disagree,” even though she knew that wouldn’t have ended very well. She and Sam were both very stubborn about their personal beliefs, meaning they’d struggle with that concept.

She knew that, and yet she continued to press on the matter.

She knew that, and yet she still blurted out that the relationship was a mistake.

She knew that, and yet she still stormed out of the house like a child.

With a heavy sigh of defeat, [Y/N] turned the car around and started her journey back to the house. One way or another, she’d find a way to work things out with Sam, even if it took all night.

By the time she made it back, it was well past midnight. Had she not known Sam well enough, she’d assume the blonde would be tucked away under the covers in their shared bed, sound asleep. However, she had known her all her life. She knew her thoughts, tendencies, insecurities, everything. And Sam was the same–they knew each other inside and out, which is what usually prevented these things from happening.

It was no surprise to [Y/N] when she unlocked the door and pushed it open to reveal Sam still sitting there on the couch. She glanced up from her spot on the cushions, a look of pure relief washing over her features. The blonde stood, stepping over to stand in front of [Y/N] once the door was shut and locked behind her. “Thank god you’re okay,” Sam whispered, lifting her hands to cup the smaller girl’s face and press their foreheads together. [Y/N] made no move to lean away from her touch, but rather leaned into her hands.

Her eyes shut softly when her head made contact with Sam’s, a small sigh of solace slipping past her lips. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry I worried you.” The blonde smiled and hummed, letting her hands slide down [Y/N]’s arms to gently take hold of her hands. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re okay, and that’s all that matters.”

They stayed there for a moment, standing together under the dim light above the entryway to the den. Finally, Sam led her over to the couch and sat her down, joining her immediately after.

“I’m just gonna get right to the point. I’m really sorry I said what I did. I had no right to talk about you like that. I’m sorry, I really am,” Sam started, squeezing her hands in her own.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry too,” [Y/N] replied just as quietly. “The fact I said our relationship was a mistake was disgusting. I didn’t mean a word of what I said, I swear. I just…I was hurt, and panicking, and I just wanted to say something to defend myself in the moment. I shouldn’t have said that though.”

Sam grinned, her thumb caressing the back of [Y/N]’s hand soothingly before bringing it up to press a kiss to her knuckles. “I forgive you,” she mumbled against her skin. “Could we both promise not to do that again though? I think that’s the most stress I’ve ever felt in our entire relationship.” [Y/N] chuckled at her words, bringing another genuine smile to her lips. “Yeah, I’d love to make that promise. Nearly cried my whole way home because I felt so bad about what happened.”

With a featherlike touch, Sam pulled [Y/N] into a hug, tucking her face against the crook of her neck and relaxing at the familiar scent of the girl’s shampoo and perfume. Her eyes fluttered shut, a silent sigh slipping through her lips, still perked up in a smile.

“I love you so much,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” came [Y/N]’s reply.

A moment passed, one far more comfortable than the situation from a few hours prior, and the two held onto each other as they swayed side to side. Finally, much to her embarrassment, a low rumble sounded from [Y/N]’s stomach, drawing both of their attention away. Sam leaned back and laughed gently. “Should we order something?” She questioned, already reaching for her phone laying face down on the coffee table.

[Y/N] nodded, laughing along with her. “Yeah. I was too worried during the entire drive to worry about eating, so…I guess it’s better late than never, right?” Sam smirked and nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. I’m in the same boat anyway. What sounds good? Not sure what’s open, but I’m sure we can find something good.”

[Y/N] beamed up at her, already feeling the previously thick tension dissolving at a rapid pace.

Sam picked up her phone after [Y/N] mentioned a few possible choices, clicking onto Google and scrolling through the open restaurants to find something that would satisfy both of their appetites. Eventually, they settled on something fairly cheap nearby, ordering said meal and setting everything up while they waited.

While [Y/N] stayed downstairs to pick something to watch on the TV, as well as gathering nearby blankets, Sam headed upstairs to their spare closet and picked out a few of the fluffiest pillows and blankets she could find. She trailed back downstairs, and the two of them bundled up together underneath their small fort of comfort. They were able to watch a decent amount of what [Y/N] had chosen to play on the screen before their order arrived.

Reluctantly, Sam left the comfort of all of the plush covers and pillows, already missing the warmth of [Y/N] by the time she made it to the door to pay the driver and take the order. Once everything was settled with the deliverer, Sam sauntered back over to the couch. She handed [Y/N] her order, including her drink, then managed to wriggle her way back into her previous spot before diving into her own dish.

As the two downed their food and rinsed it down with their drinks, they leaned further and further against each other. By the time they finished their meal and put the plastic containers and cutlery aside, [Y/N] was resting on top of Sam, both of them still buried underneath layers of their collection of blankets. Her head ended up planting itself atop the blonde’s chest, allowing her to listen to her heartbeat with ease.

Soft, delicate fingers raked their way through [Y/N]’s locks before a small kiss was pressed to her head. She glanced up curiously, only to find Sam beaming back down at her with a look of pure admiration. Her smile was returned just as warmly.

A moment or so passed before [Y/N] turned her head back to face the screen again. Her eyes began to flutter shut as Sam continued to stroke her hair. She fought to keep herself awake, but finally gave in when Sam mumbled a soft, “I love you,” and pressed another kiss to her head, lulling her deeper into slumber with ease.

Serenity

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.12k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Touch starved Lara (?), feelings of homesickness, fear of death, mentions of mourning, brief descriptions of wounds

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: Wanted to try a bit of a different format for the summary, hope it makes sense.

Enjoy!

Harsh winds whipped past the shape of the land, bending around every mountain and down every ravine and valley like ribbon. Shivering harshly and clutching onto her heavy coat, Lara sighed, planting herself in front of the campfire she had set up. As the flames crackled to life and began to grow, she scooted closer, holding her hands out towards the blazing heat in an attempt to warm them. She huffed out hot air into her cupped palms before rubbing them together and shifting to hold them out again.

She repeated this motion a few more times before wriggling her fingers around a bit. Once she was sure they were warmed up enough, she slipped her journal out from her traveler’s pack and took her pen out. She flipped over to the next blank page, beginning to jot things down with stiff hands. It started with her summarizing all that had happened during the current expedition up until that point, but quickly shifted to her feelings of homesickness. It wasn’t the manor or her private apartment she was missing, however. She was missing the woman waiting for her back home.

A small smile of content formed on her lips at the mere thought of her.

“God, [Y/N], I wish you were…”

She shook her head as a chill ran down her spine, as if she was being reminded of the brutal conditions she was in. With a small struggle, she scribbled out the ending of the sentence before starting a new one.

“No, I wish I was there with you. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you. Especially how warm you are. It’s freezing out here, although I’m not sure what I was expecting. Even when we stayed by the hot springs for a bit, my hands were too frozen to do anything. Writing this right now is extremely difficult because we’re headed toward the peak of a mountain where the snow is really dense. The altitude levels are getting high, and it’s making some of the crew sick, so we had to set up camp in the meantime. Aside from Jonah, the crew here doesn’t really care for all of this. They’re either doing it for the media exposure or for the money. The majority of them have made it clear that they aren’t doing it for the sake of discovery. I do kind of wish you were here in all honesty. Jonah is interested in what we’re looking for, but it always takes some convincing with him. With you, you’re always on board immediately. And, according to the others, you share the same level of enthusiasm as me. I guess I never really noticed it.

“Which is honestly a bit of a surprise. I know I can get a bit…aggressive about these things, or obsessive. People tell me I start getting picky about things once I realize they don’t have the same interests and intentions as me. And Sam wonders why I don’t like hanging out with other people.”

She laughed softly to herself, skimming over her words before she continued writing.

“Except you, of course. I wish I could bring you along with me to these expeditions, but I’m just…worried Trinity is going to get to you somehow, and aside from Jonah, you’re the only one I have left. If they got ahold of you, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I’ve lost too many people already. I can’t lose you too.”

A small pause. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself during these trips anymore. Before she had met [Y/N], she had gotten used to sleeping alone and spending the majority of her time alone. She could go on journeys without worrying about returning home to someone. She didn’t want to die, that wasn’t what she was thinking of. She just didn’t feel guilty about trips taking longer than she initially planned. Deep down, though, she knew [Y/N] understood. Each time she’d make it home to her girlfriend, she was always greeted with relief and excitement rather than annoyance and resentment.

During the nights where she was alone on the expeditions, she could eventually get herself to fall asleep for short periods of time, pretending she was back home in bed with her girlfriend, cuddled up together under the blankets and sleeping in.

Another thing she had to readjust to was doing things solo. The only thing she tended to do on her own at the manor anymore was paperwork. [Y/N] would do everything with her there: researching, reading, cleaning, taking trips to different cities, and so on and so forth. She had grown so accustomed to that to where she found herself itching to talk to someone or move around at the campsites when she used to just sit there and think to herself.

She genuinely enjoyed the idea of having someone to come home to every time, but it still caused guilt when anything went wrong. There was a near-constant worry that her job was straining the relationship, regardless of what [Y/N] told her.

She had never been in a relationship before, so she really had no idea what to expect. It was stressful trying to learn how to open up to someone, but once she realized she could fully trust [Y/N], she found it much easier to start talking about her past.

Another sigh slipped past her lips, her gaze dropping down to the page of her journal again.

“I can’t wait to get home to you again. And honestly, I never thought I’d be able to say that. With how often I’m traveling, I figured I wouldn’t find someone who was willing to put up with my constant researching and preparing. I suppose I could take you on easier trips where I know Trinity won’t be. I could teach you how to go rock climbing and the basics of how to survive out in the wilderness.”

A sense of fondness washed over her, remembering how Roth would take her backpacking and traveling to random places so she could learn all of his tricks.

“If Roth were still here, I bet I could’ve convinced him to let you come with us to one of our training expeditions. He loved teaching all about journeying. He probably would’ve talked your ear off the way he did with me.”

Once more, a soft laugh escaped her.

“I’d honestly give anything to hear him lecture me about trusting my instinct again. You would’ve loved him. He was a good man.”

She studied her entry, repeatedly skimming over Roth’s name scribbled out in her shaky handwriting. 

“I wish you could’ve met him.”

She frowned at the memory of what happened in Yamatai, guilt beginning to bubble up to the surface again. She sighed, trying to shift her focus to something else.

“I can’t wait to get back home to you. I miss you. Hopefully I’ll be able to see you sooner rather than later. I already want to come back just so I can be with you again. I love you.”

Gently, she shut her journal and tucked it away again, dropping her pen in on top of it before zipping the bag shut. Once she placed the bag to her side, she shifted to turn back to the fire, which had grown to a decent size. Her unfocused gaze watched the flames in front of her dance wildly to the bitterly cold gusts of wind. Soon, as she waited for Jonah to call her over, her mind wandered off, her body shivering, aching, and craving to be in her warm, plush bed by [Y/N]’s side again.

The expedition finally came to an end. Unfortunately, it had taken an extra three days thanks to Trinity’s operation disrupting everything. Lara was returning home with another artifact, one which she planned to donate to a local museum instead of adding to her personal collection. She asked Jonah to drop the artifact off for her, her expression alone telling him all he needed to know. He agreed, knowing she just wanted to get home to [Y/N] again and rest. Once the plane landed and they disembarked with their luggage, Lara instantly found her car still parked in a private garage she had paid for ahead of time.

She hopped in instantly after tucking her small amount of luggage into the trunk, started the engine, and sped off toward her home. The majority of the drive there, she reflected on what had happened during the expedition. Although she had been in a warm environment for hours on the way back, she still felt chilled to the bone after swimming in glacial waters for hours on end. All she craved was to get home and warm all the way up so she could sleep comfortably, even though she knew the moment the numbness subsided, her joints would ache even more.

Once she finally arrived, she parked her car in her usual spot and headed inside, completely forgetting about the bags in the trunk. Her body felt like it would collapse any minute, so she was desperately trying to get inside and find [Y/N].

With a great deal of effort, straining the aching muscles in her arms and back, she shoved the main door open leading into the front parlor. Before any of the servants could lead her somewhere to get her injuries treated or get changed into warmer clothes, Lara made a beeline to the stairs leading up to the second floor of the main building. She wobbled down the hall to her bedroom door, weakly pushing it open with a small grunt of pain. She didn’t spot [Y/N] in the bedroom right away, so she checked the bathroom attached to it.

She wasn’t there either. Odd.

With a groan, she forced herself to trudge back out of the room and down the hall, planning to check the library next. And if she wasn’t there, she’d search the main study. Before she could make it to the doorway leading to the library, [Y/N] stepped out carrying a couple of books. When she spotted Lara, her face lit up, excitedly placing the books aside on a nearby console table and rushing over to the brunette. At the sight of [Y/N] heading her direction, a small surge of energy bolted through Lara’s senses. She beamed over at her and opened her arms, sighing in relief when the smaller woman leaned heavily into her embrace.

“Lara, you’re back! How was the trip? Find anything good?”

Lara grinned wider at her enthusiasm–a breath of fresh air to have someone show genuine interest in her own passion. “Yeah, we found an old artifact, but I told Jonah to just go donate it to the local museum. I don’t have much space left on the shelves in my study, and I don’t want to clutter our room with them.” [Y/N] chuckled at her words, a small nod as her response as they remained in their embrace a moment longer.

At length, much to Lara’s dismay, [Y/N] leaned back. One hand dropped down to gently take hold of the brunette’s, and the other lifted to cup her cheek. At the feeling of warmth against her face, Lara leaned into the touch, her eyes shutting as she sighed. “C’mon,” [Y/N] started softly with a warm smile, “let’s get you patched up and changed. Then you can get some sleep.” Before she could try to refute, Lara yawned and nodded, wearily following the smaller woman’s lead as she carefully tugged her toward the bedroom again.

Once in there, she sat Lara down on the bed, retrieved the First Aid kit from the medical cabinet in the bathroom, and joined her on the mattress, which the brunette seemed to immediately sink into. She pulled out a damp rag she had also grabbed and began to dab cautiously at the scratches and cuts littered across Lara’s skin. When she began to apply the antiseptic, she earned a few hisses of pain, though they quickly died down with each passing second. All the while, Lara’s eyelids were growing heavier. She did her best to bite back her yawns, though most of them still snuck through.

After cleaning all of the visible marks, [Y/N] stitched up what she needed to, and applied bandages to what was left. She quickly packed the kit back up and stored it in the bathroom once more. Then, she helped Lara head into the bathroom and get undressed, helping her step into the bath when the warm water filled up enough. Once the brunette was situated and comfortable, [Y/N] took her hair down for her and began to rinse and lather it with the shampoo she had set up beforehand. Once her hair was clean, she then washed Lara’s back, shoulders, and mostly everything but her stomach, legs, and mostly whatever was underneath the water, which she let the Croft do on her own.

By the time Lara was clean and wrapped up in a towel after stepping out of the tub, [Y/N] left and came back in carrying a pair of clothes that had just been pulled out from the dryer. She gave the brunette a bit of privacy to get dressed. Lara hummed contentedly at the warm, soft fabric brushing across her skin: a pair of black fleece pants with a slightly oversized gray t-shirt.

She stood after tugging her clothes on. After folding the towel back up enough to hang on the rack on the wall, she flipped the lightswitch off and left the bathroom, finding [Y/N] standing by the bed with a tray in her hands. Curiously, Lara walked over and sat down at the foot of the bed with an eyebrow raised. Before she could question what it was, [Y/N] moved to hand the tray to her, revealing her favorite dish warmed up and placed nicely on a plate.

At the sight of it, she blinked, and soon looked back up at her girlfriend, who had moved to her own side of the bed. “Go ahead and eat. I wanted you to have something in your stomach so it doesn’t growl and wake you up like last time.”

With a pleased grin, Lara nodded and shifted up to her spot in bed to prop herself up against the headboard. She was quick to pick up her fork and dig into the dish, clearly grateful to have something prepared for her instead of needing to fix something for herself the way she had done the past few days in the wilderness. It saved her a lot of time and energy, all of which she could spend on recovering from the trip. Within minutes, the plate was clean and her cup was empty. She moved to get up and bring it to the kitchen downstairs, but [Y/N] was quick to stop her and take it from her hands. “Hey, no, go ahead and stay here, alright? I really just want you to relax for a while.”

Even if Lara had planned on refusing the help, it would’ve been no use, as [Y/N] was already by the door by the time she finished speaking. She quickly slipped out of the room, leaving Lara there to wait. She hadn’t even had a chance to nod. She sighed, shuffling downward to bundle up underneath the thick blankets layering her mattress and tugging them partially over her head. The moment her head made contact with her pillow, she groaned in relief, the plush surface welcoming her and pulling her into a partial slumber already.

She fought to stay awake a little longer, however, wanting to be cuddled up against [Y/N] as she slept so she could hear her heartbeat. Ever since the two had started sharing the bed, that’s how Lara fell asleep. It’s why going on long expeditions was so difficult sometimes–she had no heartbeat to listen to, no breathing she could hear but her own, and no warmth to lean into when she got a chill or had a strange dream that kept her eyes pried open in alarmed confusion. Another yawn pushed past her lips, her eyes slowly fluttering shut. Just as she was close to being lulled into sleep, the bedroom door creaked open again. [Y/N] stepped inside and turned the lights off, then headed over to the windows and closed all the heavy curtains, leaving a very dull light in the room.

She then crawled into her side of the bed, though she was quickly met with Lara scooting over and pressing her head against her chest, planting her ear directly over the girl’s sternum to hear the steady thumping of her heartbeat resting safely behind her ribs. A sigh of relief made its way from Lara. She wriggled over a bit, nuzzled her face further into the blankets, and finally settled for a position. With a small smile, [Y/N] rolled over just enough to wrap both of her arms around the brunette’s torso. She pulled her closer as softly as she could.

“Did you wanna talk about the trip?” She whispered softly. A bit of a delay, but Lara answered with a small shake of her head. “No,” she murmured almost inaudibly. “Maybe tomorrow.” [Y/N] nodded in response. She slid one of her arms over a bit, earning a groan of disapproval, though it was quickly replaced by an even fainter groan of pleasure once her fingernails began to gently rake through Lara’s brunette locks. [Y/N] repeated this motion for a while before changing to let her nails scratch soothingly at the sore muscles of the taller woman’s back. “Mmm, what about you?” Lara finally managed to slur out after a few minutes.

[Y/N] hummed, confused. “What about me?” She questioned quietly. Again, there was a pause before she got a response. “What about your day? Tell me…about your day.”

“Oh. Well, it wasn’t very eventful, to be honest. I just helped some of the maids and then read a few books. That’s why I was leaving the library when you made it in.”

“Mmh.”

Lara groaned and shuffled even closer. “I missed you so much,” she whispered. [Y/N] beamed down at her, pure adoration in her eyes. “I missed you too.” She pressed a kiss to the brunette’s forehead, to which Lara responded by scrunching up her nose and leaning her head forward, wordlessly asking for another one. The smaller woman complied after letting a gentle giggle slip in between breaths and pressed a longer kiss to Lara’s head, earning a small huff of satisfaction.

For a while longer, [Y/N] continued to talk about whatever came to mind. Lara wasn’t entirely listening, she just wanted to hear her voice, but [Y/N] already knew that. She didn’t mind. She could talk about seeing a bird on the window sill, and Lara would still find it calming solely because she could hear her speaking. She could hear the low rumbling and vibrations in her chest with every word spoken, and on top of the sound of her heartbeat, it was like the ultimate white noise for Lara.

She wasn’t entirely sure why it brought her so much comfort, but she certainly wasn’t complaining. It helped her fall asleep and stay asleep, which is something she struggled with for the longest time. Being able to get a proper night’s rest felt so refreshing.

Especially after having to be on high alert and sleep lightly for weeks on end during most of her journeys.

After a while, [Y/N] ran out of things to talk about. However, knowing that hearing her make noise was what helped Lara fall asleep, she opted to sing softly instead. An hour or so must’ve passed before Lara’s breathing deepened and slowed, evening out as her body signaled she was fully asleep. After finishing the song she had been practically humming at that point, [Y/N] stopped singing. When she fell silent, her own eyes beginning to droop from fatigue, Lara tugged her closer, unconsciously trying to find the source of the noise again. She settled after a moment when her hearing focused in on her heartbeat once more.

She mumbled something under her breath, though the blankets muffled most of it. The other half of the incoherent speech was caused by her lack of conscience. [Y/N] didn’t mind it though. Finally being able to hold Lara safely in her arms again after two and a half weeks was all she had been wanting. She glanced down at her, smiling tiredly and pressing a gentle kiss to her head again before yawning and closing her eyes.

Soon enough, she fell into a deep slumber as well.

The following morning, the sun crept in through the blinds, alerting everyone of its wake. Bright golden beams trailed their way into the bedroom, sneaking up the covers and making Lara suddenly aware of her surroundings again. She grumbled, calloused fingertips grasping at the hem of the comforter that had slipped from over her head and tugging upward, desperately trying to block out the warmth that stirred her awake. It had been years–until she met [Y/N], anyway–since she had been able to sleep in peacefully without the overwhelming worry of needing to constantly accomplish something. She wanted to stay asleep at least long enough to finish her dream.

For a moment, she smirked to herself, noticing just how soft she had gotten once her relationship had been established with the other woman. Had they never met, nor had they gotten as close as they did, she’d likely still be awake at this hour, buried away in her personal study with stacks of books and loose files strewn about.

With a sense of bitter hesitation, one in which she debated falling back into the dream she had been having just a moment prior–which thankfully wasn’t another nightmare keeping her awake–she let her weary eyes flutter open. A small shove downward let the covers fall free from over her head again, begrudgingly allowing the sunlight to caress her features in a more willing manner. A sigh of relief slipped past her lips once she was able to let her eyes adjust to the blazing beams of light dancing around with each small movement.

After a moment of gaining her bearings, she yawned, drowsily rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes as she shifted over to find [Y/N] still resting at her side. The corners of her lips perked up into a small smile of contentment at the sight. She hummed, shuffled up to let her head rest even in front of [Y/N]’s, and gazed over at her.

The light that had disturbed Lara of her rest now brought her a sense of peace. The warm glow of the amber streaks lighting up the room seemed to embrace every little mark across [Y/N]’s skin, highlighting each scar and stray freckle. Never before had she seemed so at ease in her slumber–or maybe Lara had been too focused on holding her close to have noticed. She noticed it now, though.

And she intended to savor every minute of it.

Moments passed, and her hands were itching to feel the softness of the woman’s skin. With a slight ounce of uncertainty, worried she might stir her awake, she finally lifted her hand from the spot on the mattress next to her and drove it up to let the backs of her fingers graze over [Y/N]’s cheek, huffing out a small sigh at the warmth as though she hadn’t been pressed tightly against her mere moments before.

Her fingers trailed up to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind the sleeping woman’s ear, slowly and silently shuffling forward to press a featherlike kiss to her forehead. At the feeling of soft lips and touches against her skin, [Y/N] began to wake, her brows furrowing together momentarily in thought, as if she were stuck between her dreams and lucidity. Her features softened just as quickly as they tightened, followed by her eyes flitting open and instantaneously focusing on the smitten gaze in front of her. She hummed, grinning and letting her hand slide up to gently take hold of Lara’s. With a small squeeze to her lax hand, [Y/N] turned her head to press an equally soft kiss to her palm.

“Morning,” she murmured against her skin, letting her focus flicker back toward the deep brown eyes now somehow filled with even more love than before.

“Morning,” came her faint reply.

“Are you feeling better now that you’ve slept?” Lara grinned, nodding almost unnoticeably. She carefully slipped her hand from [Y/N]’s, then letting it trail down to the smaller woman’s hip. Once moving a bit closer, as well as shuffling back down further into the comforter, she wrapped both arms around [Y/N]’s waist, tugging her closer and letting her head fall against her chest. Once [Y/N]’s chin moved to rest atop the brunette’s head, Lara sighed, her eyes fluttering shut once more. “Yes, but if I’m being completely honest, my entire body is aching right now. So much happened before I got back.”

She chuckled, wincing to herself at the sudden jolt of pain that erupted from the nerves in the skin taut against her stomach. “I don’t know if I can physically get up yet. Or if I'll be able to at all today.”

A playful snicker sounded above her, prompting her to lift her head and look up at [Y/N]. “Are you sure that’s why? Or do you just want to stay in bed and cuddle like this for the day?” Lara rolled her eyes with a smirk of her own. “I’m telling you: every single muscle in my body is painfully sore. I could get up if I absolutely needed to, but I don’t, so I’d really just prefer to stay here.”

With a moment in between the playful banter, Lara dropped her head back against [Y/N]’s chest. She waited, pondering what she wanted to say as her nails gently scratched at the soft fabric of the shirt she leaned against, sighing silently at the feeling of the motion being reciprocated in a far more soothing way. As she focused on [Y/N] tracing random shapes and words against her scarred skin, subconsciously wondering if she could make out anything specific if she focused, she closed her eyes.

“But even if I somehow wasn’t sore like I am now, I’d absolutely want to stay like this for the day. I missed you,” although her voice had already started off gentle, her tone only seemed to drift further into silence. Whether it stemmed from sheepishness or fatigue, [Y/N] didn’t know. She didn’t mind it, however, and instead pulled her closer. “I missed you too. So very much.”

She paused, one of her hands stroking the brunette strands sprawled out on the mattress behind Lara as her brow creased in thought. “I do worry about you though,” she admitted after what felt like hours, not sure if Lara was still even awake at the moment or if she had heard her. She had, however, and was quick to gaze back up at her, partially hidden way beneath the comforter. Her eyes, which had just been staring at her with a mix of blissful fatigue and love, were now a concoction of bleary concern and confusion. “Why?”

“Because sometimes I worry that something is going to happen to you while you’re away, and I’m never going to know. I mean, I know you won’t go down without a fight, but I’m still terrified that there will be a day where I see you alive for the last time. That thought alone plagues my mind every single time you leave, and it just…scares me?” She scoffed. “No, it’s so much more than just feeling scared. I’m terrified beyond belief that a thought like that could somehow become a reality.”

She hadn’t realized she had begun rambling until Lara shifted up to be eye-level with her again, a far more serious expression taking over. With her features creased with concern, Lara cupped [Y/N]’s face, the pads of her thumbs stroking away the tears that she hadn’t even realized had fallen. When had she started crying?

“I promise you I’m never going to let that happen, alright? There’ve been so many times I shouldn’t have been able to survive, but I did. Like you said: I won’t go down without a fight. And now that I have you here, I have all the more reason to fight to stay alive. I couldn’t bear the thought of never coming home to you. Just…don’t ever worry about me not coming home, okay? One way or another, I’ll find a way to get back to you.”

Her tone softened with every passing word, her heart and mind filling with relief upon seeing a gentle smile grace [Y/N]’s lips. She returned her grin and leaned forward to rest their foreheads together. “Even if it means I have to admit to Jonah that I’m wrong,” she added with a fake annoyance and a small roll of her eyes. [Y/N] couldn’t help but chuckle at her words, allowing Lara to finally let out a small sigh of solace.

“I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything,” she reassured, trading roles and pulling [Y/N] into her chest instead. “Not for an artifact, not for a trip to some uncharted land, not for my studies, not for anything. I know I may not be the best at showing it, but I truly love you, [Y/N]. I promise you that I’ll always find my way back to you.”

At her reassurance, [Y/N] nuzzled closer to focus in on her heartbeat, unable to bite back the wide smile that stretched across her lips. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Her words were true, she just wished she could find a way to prove it to her every day. Regardless of how invested she could get in her studies or research for her next expedition somewhere far away, she wouldn’t trade these moments of serenity for the world. She treasured them far more than any artifact she had discovered, and would do anything to ensure more of those memories could be made. Not even the strongest forces out there would stop her from returning to the one person she could call home, and she vowed, one way or another, to make sure it stayed that way for good.

Pure Admiration

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.03k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: A really corny ending (bear with me), very brief mentions of death, soft anxiety

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: This was more of a drabble than an actual individual chapter. Not proofread, but the ending is still extremely cheesy, so feel free to ignore it if you'd like.

[A/N] #2: Most likely going to rewrite this sometime in the future, but I currently have six more characters I plan on writing for first.

Enjoy!

Throughout the time she spent during and after the trip to Yamatai, Lara was often seen with a deadpan expression and heard with a cold or uninterested tone by anyone who happened to stumble across her path. Trinity soldiers, paparazzi, Jonah, Sam, and everyone alike had grown accustomed to glancing over at any given moment, and even when she was talking about something she was passionate about, there was always a sense of stress or frustration laced within each crease that lined her face.

Even before her first independent expedition, it wasn’t uncommon to see her scowling down in confusion as she reread over pages and pages of books she had carried to study with, murmuring that she had to be missing something. It had taken a toll on her appearance too–due to the countless nights she spent staying up to continue her research, her eyes had grown dull and heavy with fatigue. It only added to the look of exasperation that seemed to constantly adorn her features.

 To most, it was almost seen as a trademark feature of hers–a part of her that would never fully disappear. It was why it was such a surprise to the people closest to her when [Y/N] came into the picture. For once, it seemed as though Lara was finally at ease with someone other than herself. When Jonah or Sam would glance over at the two, it was hard not to mirror Lara’s contagious smile as she chatted away happily with [Y/N] about whatever came to mind.

Not once did Lara hold an ounce of resentment or irritation in her tone or eyes when she would gaze over at the younger woman. Instead, there was a sense of admiration, one in which seemed to bring out the best of her. In cases where she’d usually grow stubborn and aggressive toward whoever she was bickering with, [Y/N] was somehow able to extinguish even the smallest feelings of fury that might’ve sparked to life beneath her skin, always steering the conversation to something everyone could seemingly agree with before things escalated too far.

And over time, the effects [Y/N] had on Lara began to shift into her everyday way of looking at things. Where she’d once swipe everything off her desk and clutch handfuls of her hair in utter frustration, her head pounding from lack of sleep and confusion as to why she couldn’t figure something out, she’d instead take a moment to herself and focus on something else before moving back when she was ready. She found it helped her get things done much quicker, as well as prevent the high levels of stress she had grown used to, though she wasn’t entirely aware it was [Y/N] who had ultimately caused it.

Even when Lara wasn’t with her, doing so much as talking about [Y/N] was enough to lighten her mood. It was evident to anyone who even managed to glance over at the right time. Something had lifted her spirits with the mere mention of it, that much was obvious, though they never knew what. Although Lara didn’t visit Sam often, Jonah made sure to fill her in about every time the brunette would start rambling on and on about the other woman, much to Sam’s amusement. When Lara would visit here and there, she’d be gently teased about her “little crush,” in which she’d deny her feelings and try her best to change the subject.

Sam eased up on her taunting remarks after a while, but eventually asked Lara when she planned on asking [Y/N] out, her previously chipper tone suddenly serious. Again, Lara denied how she felt and shifted the topic before she made an excuse to leave. As she went to bed that night, however, she found herself pondering whether or not she had actually fallen for someone.

She didn’t get any sleep, too busy tossing and turning as she desperately tried to get the image of [Y/N] out of her mind. Each time she’d think about her kind smile, her comforting hugs, her cheerful and comforting demeanor, Lara would hide her face behind her hands or bury it in her pillow, groaning at the feeling of a burning warmth enveloping her skin.

After another night or so of this, she somehow found that she was able to fall asleep, although she had to hold one of her pillows to her chest. Unwillingly, she pictured it was [Y/N]’s sleeping form against her own. Her face burned with embarrassment the next morning when she discovered she had clutched onto the plush surface rather tightly throughout the night, and she hesitantly found herself shoving the pillow back up against the headboard. She scolded herself before forcing her weakened body out of bed to start her day.

There was no way she could possibly be in love with someone she had known for such a short amount of time.

Was there?

It took months for her to finally come to terms with her emotions enough to finally ask for advice, and since she was away on a trip without any way to talk to Sam, she confided in Jonah. As they pushed their way through the ground of the forest, hacking down loose branches and bushes that blocked the path with a makeshift machete, she not-so-casually admitted she might actually feel something for [Y/N]. She had expected him to be surprised in one way or another, but he quickly let her know she wasn’t great at hiding it.

Sheepish, she tried to brush it off and ignore the fact she ever brought it up, but Jonah insisted that he didn’t mind. He told her how relieving it was to see her so happy with someone–that she deserved to find someone special and spend time with them rather than constantly hiding away in her study to bury herself in research.

Even with a grumble rebutting the remark of essentially stowing herself away, Lara couldn’t deny that it felt nice caring so deeply for someone. She had cared for others before, sure: Jonah and Sam were like family to her at this point. But this felt different. It felt intimate and passionate in all the right ways.

Trudging their way up a hill to set up a base camp for the night, she and Jonah cautiously talked about ways to get Lara to confess, both too worried of crossing a boundary and upsetting the brunette. Jonah knew it was a touchy subject when it came to romance and settling down to start a family with her, but Lara was terrified of messing things up more than anything. She had finally found someone she loved like no other, and given that she had no prior relationship experience, the question of whether or not she would ruin things hung heavy in the back of her mind with every thought that flashed through.

Nothing else was mentioned about Lara’s feelings for the remainder of the journey, but once the two of them were seated in the plane headed back home, the testy topic was picked up again. Jonah had to keep reminding Lara that there was no reason to get defensive, that it was okay to be open about how she felt. It took nearly an hour, but she finally got it.

She had never had any kind of crush before–never understood why girls back in junior high and high school would gossip about the people they had their eyes on–she had no idea how to express how she felt. Although it was difficult, she knew she could trust Jonah, and she finally managed to talk about exactly how she felt.

Another few months had passed, and it had almost been a year by the time Lara was ready to confess how she felt to [Y/N]. Every time she thought of how long it had taken to muster up the courage, she felt ridiculous. It had taken her nearly a full year to realize how she felt and actually act on it. Normally, when she felt something strong bubbling up within her, she acted on it right away. Granted, those feelings were usually ones of annoyance at someone going against her wishes or determination to find an ancient ruin she had been studying for weeks.

Regardless, she scolded herself for being so cowardly, reminding herself that she’d need confidence if she were to ever get rid of the feeling of anxiety that stemmed from how she felt about the other woman–who seemed to increasingly plague more and more of her thoughts with every passing day.

At first, she thought she could go all out for her confession, wanting it to be special. She decided against that quickly, however, upon remembering something as simple as a location or a certain activity could be special on its own. She also cringed at the idea of a large event for something that could go wrong, though she hated the idea of a huge confession either way.

Yes, she wanted things to be special and go smoothly, but that didn’t mean other people had to be there to witness it. Whether or not it went well was nobody else’s business. Plus, the mere thought of being around other people made her anxious. The idea was discarded faster than it had even crossed her mind.

Finally, after getting different ideas from Sam and Jonah, Lara setup something small, invited [Y/N] to join her, and eventually managed to confess how she felt, unable to look the other woman in the eye as she awaited her response. Pure relief washed over her senses once [Y/N] voiced that her feelings were mutual. A short while later, Lara asked [Y/N] to be her girlfriend, to which she said yes as well.

Jonah was the first to congratulate Lara, given that he was essentially the wingman in the situation, and Sam was quick to tease her about what she planned to wear at the wedding. Lara brushed her off with a playful laugh each time, though she wouldn’t deny that she had already begun planning out the wedding anyway.

Somehow, each time anyone saw the two of them together, Lara always seemed to be in a cheerful mood, uncharacteristically lively and energetic. She was friendlier towards others, so long as she knew they weren’t making [Y/N] uncomfortable.

And just like before, when they hadn’t been dating, anyone with a set of working eyes was able to see the absolute admiration swelling up in Lara’s eyes whenever they’d land on [Y/N]. Her eyes never dimmed with disinterest or disgust, but rather lit up with love and genuine joy. Her fingers would often be seen laced with the other woman’s, allowing her to give a squeeze here and there, whether it be reassuring, teasing, or simply because she enjoyed being there with her. As they talked about anything and everything, [Y/N] would lean into Lara’s side, and in turn, Lara would rest her head atop the younger woman’s, still glancing down at her here and there just to see the face of the one she had fallen so deeply in love with.

The look in her eye only grew stronger as the years went on, and the two ultimately married, ready to settle down for good. During the vows, Lara spoke about how gleeful [Y/N] made her feel over the years, and Jonah and Sam couldn’t help but smile at each other in understanding. They had been there to witness the joy. They knew it wasn’t temporary.

Even when Lara and [Y/N] would argue, as most couples do, it never caused that gleam in Lara’s eye to falter. It grew and grew, all the way into their thirties, then forties, then fifties, and continued to grow until their eyes closed for the final time. Had anyone outside looked into their life, even the most cynical of onlookers couldn’t wholeheartedly deny how in love they were, nor could they ignore the admiration that had burrowed in and made itself at home in Lara’s gaze, there 'til the day she died.

Headcanons

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader x Alice Angel

Summary: General and romantic headcanons I have about the two main angels in the franchise.

Word Count: 3.54k Content Warnings: Soft mentions of insecurity Category: Fluff + Slight angst

[A/N]: Only a few more characters left, then I'll post my master list and rules for requests. Thank you to everyone who has sent in a request so far!

Enjoy!

Allison

General

Generally one of the kindest, most patient people you’re ever going to meet, especially down in the studio

Her temper hardly ever flares up, but there are moments where she’ll act out of pure fear or anger

Even so, it’ll still be hard to tell how furious she is, considering she hardly ever raises her voice outside of battle

It’s just much harder to see the impatient side of her

She tends to be more logical, wanting to think things all the way through, and she is sure to get others to share their perspective of a situation before she makes a plan

After all she’s witnessed throughout her time at the studio, it’s understandable that she’s cautious of every lurking shadow and newcomer

She’ll welcome others if she feels they aren’t a threat, but still tends to keep an escape route pinned in the back of her mind in case things take a turn (as they have in the past)

She and Tom will both head out together most of the time to gather supplies that they can bring to their safehouse

While together, she feels a bit calmer knowing they have each other’s backs

Whenever she’s wandering around alone, however, she constantly feels on edge about whether or not the Ink Demon will come stampeding toward her

On top of this, she worries that Tom won’t be there when she gets back, or that he won’t be in one piece if he is

Helps whoever she can, even if that means putting herself at risk to save them from the cruelty of the studio, such as the Ink Demon, Alice, and the Projectionist

She’ll only put herself at risk for others if she deems them more important than herself, meaning a loved one (such as Tom or someone she took under her wing)

In the darker spaces of the studio, she’ll find blank spaces on the walls or floors and write messages for the Lost Ones who roam around, hoping to provide some sense of hope for them

Tinkers around with any gadget or scraps she can find, typically to create artificial limbs for those she trusts–an example being the animatronic arm she repurposed for Tom to use after he lost his own

Plays off any injury she gets as minor, no matter how severe it actually is, because she doesn’t want to worry others

She doesn’t mind getting help for what she’s endured, but she wants to ensure everyone else is safe first before she tries to scavenge for what she needs

On constant alert when outside of the safehouse, even if she has reinforcements

Sleep doesn’t come easy in the studio, especially to those who know what dangers threaten each wrong turn, so when she isn’t able to rest, Allison will try to find a way to make herself useful

Generally uses this time to count the stock in their storage, feed the fish, scribble out quick lists of plans she has for material, etc.

Always makes sure to let Tom know where she’s headed before she leaves

Actively searches out Lost Ones who need some sort of aid, making sure to keep a can of bacon soup nearby at all times in case it’s needed

Although there are more people in the studio that she trusts aside from Tom, she still is very strict about who she’ll let into the safehouse

The last thing she wants is to be responsible for the death of Tom or herself simply because she was too trusting toward a stranger

Overall, she’s a patient, kindhearted woman who wants to help others in any way she can, but her years in the studio have hardened her into a survivor, leaving her wary of every deadly possibility that may come her way

Romantic

It takes a while for Allison to trust you, considering all that she’s been through. However, the moment she sees you helping someone escape a situation, or she sees you patching a stranger up and handing them provisions, the tension in her body starts to ease up

Once she trusts you enough, she’ll start noticing your interests and hobbies, and she’ll partake in some of them herself if she can

After a while of growing closer to you and learning that she can trust you fully, she’ll either find that she fancies you, or she’ll notice that you like her first with ease

Either way, she’ll most likely take initiative when it comes to confessing and asking the other out

She likes being upfront and honest, especially with those she loves, so she’ll be relatively blunt about how she feels

She’ll take you somewhere that’s special to the both of you, reveal a small setup she made beforehand, and spend time talking with you before she finally confesses

Compared to most, she’s alright with being rejected–things don’t come easy (or at all), and she’s willing to accept that

As she expresses how she feels, there’s a small sense of anxiety creeping in through her words. She hadn’t confessed to anyone since being rebirthed. She stays calm and confident however, so it’s hard to even pick up on the fact that her hands are trembling and there are small beads of sweat forming on the back of her neck

When you tell her you feel the same way and agree to be her girlfriend, she’s relieved more than anything

She’ll spend more time with you in that space for a while before she walks you back to the safehouse to crash for the night

After the relationship had been established, Allison finally got more bold with a few of her motions

With a little bit of patience, she starts growing more comfortable and confident with being your partner, often finding herself resorting to coming to you for comfort and advice instead of Tom

She’ll, of course, be there for you in all of those ways as well

Dates are sometimes hard to initiate in the studio due to the danger, so she’ll make do with what she has

By this, it means she’ll wait until she knows Tom will be out of the safehouse for a while on a supply run. When he’s gone, she’ll bring out a couple of candles, a radio, and gather a few plates with food she had found–thankful that she managed to find something other than bacon soup

You’ll spend the day together at the table, eating what she prepared, playing cards, and just chatting away about whatever comes to mind

After peace finally settled over the studio (after Audrey helped rewrite what happens during the cycle), dates become more frequent and are out in better spaces in the studio, no longer having to worry about the Ink Demon appearing and ruining everything

Although the small city in the middle of the studio is abandoned, Allison will take you there often, carrying a radio with her to set up

She had–with the help of Tom–pushed a few of the cars to the sides of the street, providing an open space in the middle

There, she’ll place down the radio she brings and tune it to a slower song. She’ll then pull you into the large opening and slow dance with you for a while, complimenting you left and right as she leads

She enjoys doing anything and everything with you that she can

Any hobbies that you’ve shown interest in become a pair-hobby

She’ll sit / stand beside you as you paint, sculpt, read, play an instrument, etc., and she’ll be doing the same, essentially mirroring you peacefully at your side

If she can’t participate in your hobbies somehow, she’ll at least show that she takes interest in it, never making you feel dumb for what you enjoy

When settling down for the night, she’s not opposed to bundling up together in bed, surprised at herself for finding any cuddling position comfortable

Regardless of how you sleep, she’ll ensure that she’s holding you in some way

This stems from trauma and experience before the Ink Demon was tamed, though now it’s more of a comfort thing than a protection thing

If you don’t feel like being touched too much, she’ll hold your hand or keep her hand on your shoulder as you sleep

If you’re the opposite, she’ll let you latch onto her like a koala, or she’ll even do it herself if the day had been particularly demanding for her

She just wants to be close to you, regardless of the fact the studio is much safer now

A way for her to be close to you is by giving you some sort of jewelry

After a while of her experimenting with necklaces and bracelets made of scraps she polished and welded, she finally takes a few measurements and brings you to the place she confessed to you at

There, you’ll find a similar setup to before, and things will run smoothly

After a while of dancing together and talking about what the future will look like, she’ll segway into her speech and drop onto her knee, pulling out a ring from her satchel

When you say yes to marrying her, she doesn’t hesitate to slip the ring on your finger and pull you in for a kiss, overjoyed of the outcome

A small wedding, if you’re comfortable with it, is held shortly after, and her vows are heartwarming: she expresses her constant admiration and appreciation for you walking into her life, promising to always be there for you no matter what, slightly whispering by the time she gets to her statement of how she hopes she’s been half the girlfriend to you that you’ve been to her. Her voice manages to crack slightly at the end, and she’s fighting back the tears, wanting to save them for after the kiss

After the wedding, she somehow finds herself growing even closer to you than before, and things finally seem to fall into place for her

Overall, she’s a loving, understanding, patient partner who wants to be there for you in every possible way. She’ll show interest in your own hobbies, partaking in them herself most of the time, and she’s constantly trying to find a way to make time spent alone together more special. Dates, even before the Ink Demon has been disposed of as a threat, are heartfelt and meaningful, each small act one of intimacy and adoration. She makes time for you, and she always takes your opinions into consideration before making a final decision. With her, you’ll feel safe, understood, and never judged for who you are

Malice

General

Contrary to Allison, Malice–or Susie–tends to be more hotheaded

It’s not hard to upset her, though if she trusts you enough, it’ll sort of be easier to calm her back down

Extremely paranoid of newcomers, and even of those she’s known for decades

Terrified of stumbling across the Ink Demon, so she’ll end up sending any poor soul she’s fortunate to come across on an errand run, promising to send them home as a thank you when they’re done

It’s hard to gain her trust. In her mind, everyone in the studio is out to get her, and she’ll do whatever she can to keep herself safe

When she does have to scavenge for supplies on her own, she keeps a weapon handy at all times, whether it be her tommy gun or a Gent pipe

In what she calls her sanctuary, any mirror that can be found has either been shattered or covered with a thick cloth

The only place a still in-tact mirror can be found is her workshop, where she uses her twisted devices to torture and experiment on the corrupted members of the Butcher Gang

She keeps the mirror there to check how the experiments of harvesting and digesting organs is affecting her physical form

Each time she sees the tattered side of her face, still ripped open and taunting her, she has to will everything in herself not to smash everything in her sight, instead trying to focus on repairing her equipment and scanning across the monitors for the cameras she has set up around the studio

Tends to target creatures that come out “perfect,” meaning she’ll spare the Lost Ones and Searchers if they don’t get in her way

In her room, she keeps a record of her experiments and studies on the anatomy of whatever she can get her hands on

Emptied out the bookshelf closest to the sofa she sleeps on to store her journals and notes

Selfish beyond belief–she refuses to actively help others on her own volition, even if they’re at her feet begging

In order to keep herself safe, she went on a rampage during her first few years after being rebirthed, making a point to others that she’s one to be feared

This worked well, allowing her to isolate herself and focus on perfecting her injections, though it also caused issues with her sanity

Can often be heard shrieking at herself, almost like she’s arguing with herself about whatever has crawled under her skin in the moment

Although she appreciates feeling safe in her solitude, she aches for someone to help her with her dream of one day becoming beautiful again–someone who won’t look at her with terror or hatred

Self-sabotages any kind of trust she has with someone, too worried they’ll double-cross her and she’ll wind up at the mercy of the Ink Demon again

Ultimately, a very paranoid, insecure woman who longs to find herself again. She buries herself in work to distract herself from the reality of what would haunt her mind if she acknowledged it, specifically the abominations that meander through the levels of the studio

Romantic

It takes forever to fully gain her trust enough for her to actually fall for you

After all she had bared witness to in her time down in the studio, it’s hard to blame her for being paranoid about new people around the area

If you somehow manage to stay on her good side and gain her trust, however, she’ll cling to you

In her eyes, you’re the only light left in her dull life down in the inky depths of the very place that made her the way she is

For a while, she’ll keep you hidden in the furthest corner of her safety zone on Level Nine, terrified she’s going to lose the one good thing still left in her life

With a lot of convincing (and the promise made to always carry around a weapon), Malice will finally let you wander around more and more. It’ll start off with her attached at your hip and walking with you everywhere, then slowly shift to her watching you from her cameras

Even when she knows you’ll be safe out in the places you choose to go, she’ll still keep an eye on her monitors here and there to make sure there isn’t anything weird lurking nearby

One way to make her trust you is to promise to help her on her journey to recover her beauty (and sanity)

More often than not, you’ll find her hidden away somewhere in her sanctuary, sobbing and curled up on the ground as she desperately tries to hide her face from you

You’ll have to comfort her when she gets that way

One thing that makes her melt during her swings of insecurity is when you hold her close and caress her face, especially if you cup the tattered side just as tenderly as the part that’s still in-tact

Gaze at her without any sense of fear or discomfort, and she’ll break, weeping against you after she drops her head against one of your shoulders, her hands clutching at your shirt to try and pull you closer

If you work with her enough, she’ll start to grow a little more comfortable with how she looks. She’ll still have breakdowns and moments where she wants to be alone, but she’ll come around to you sooner or later

Will absolutely gawk at you with hearts in her eyes if you protect her from the creatures threatening to attack when you both go out to scavenge for supplies. Bonus points if you help her in her lab with dissecting the Butcher Gang’s organs

Since she’s managed to keep Level Nine relatively safe from the Ink Demon, there’s a wider amount of space for her to bring you for dates

During these moments alone in random parts of her sanctuary, she’ll feel safe enough to show her vulnerabilities, showing you the torn part of her face without trying to hide behind her hair or turn away

She’ll express that she’s worried about the future, wondering if she’ll ever manage to perfect her experiments and fix her face

Comfort her when she talks about those insecurities, and she’ll practically swoon, melting under your touch and leaning into it as she scoots closer

One of the main things about being with her is she needs constant reassurance that you love her and aren’t afraid of her

It’s hard for her to trust anyone, and when she finally fully trusts you, she wants to do everything she can to keep you in her life, even if it means resorting to selfish means. It’s not necessarily her fault for being so possessive, but you’ll eventually have to convince her to work on it when it gets to be too much

Even after things settle down when Audrey shows up, she’s still be worried about you leaving certain parts of the studio that she can’t access with her cameras, and she’ll come with you for a while

Eventually, she’ll realize she isn’t in constant danger anymore and will let you wander off on your own, so long as you promise you’ll be back soon

She may not participate in your hobbies the way Allison would, but she’ll certainly show curiosity and interest in them. If they’re more on the scientific side, she may join you here and there to learn more about them

At home at night, she almost always needs to be holding you when asleep. More likely than not, she’ll spoon you from behind or just hold you against her chest, keeping one hand next to yours at all times

It’s hard for her to sleep half of the time, so even if you manage to get her to crash for a bit, it won’t be long before you feel her toying with your hair or shirt to keep herself distracted after waking up

She doesn’t want to wake you up just because she’s getting antsy, which is why she does this

When she does manage to sleep throughout a whole night, it’s ridiculously hard to get her out of bed until the early evening. She’ll cling to you and keep you in the bed with her until she’s ready to wake up and get ready for the day, so make sure you have a book or something nearby to keep yourself occupied

Marriage with her is a strange subject, considering she hardly ever speaks to anyone else aside from you (meaning she has no one but you to go to for advice on it). By the time she proposes with a ring she made using the metal from a few of her older tools, you’re already aware of what she has planned, but manage to pretend to be surprised anyway

She’s overwhelmed after you say yes, already worrying about how she’s going to make the wedding perfect, frantically asking you what you want to add to the ceremony and the decorations by the time you head back to the sanctuary

During the wedding, which is held in the Heavenly Toys lobby, her vows start off a little rocky, but just as quickly grow as meaningful as you’ve learned she can secretly be. She talks about how odd she found it that you trusted her so quickly at the beginning of the relationship, but adds that, after looking back on it, she’s grateful you did. She expresses how inspired you’ve made her over the years, and how you always help her work through any issue she has, never looking at her as a burden. She stresses the fact that she loves you more than anything or anyone else, and how she wants to always protect you and keep you happy.

After the wedding, she finally starts to let herself relax. She starts to open up more, and if you strike the right chord with her, she’ll start studying more humane ways to run her experiments

Ultimately, she starts off as a very paranoid partner, terrified you’re going to leave her or be mercilessly slaughtered out in the halls out of her reach. She keeps you close, essentially growing possessive over you within a short amount of time. However, after a while of gaining her trust and promising you’re there to stay, she’ll loosen up and provide more freedom. She wants to keep you safe, even if it means she comes across as selfish, but she knows you can hold your own in most situations, and she’ll learn to have more faith in you. After all, you’re now her wife. There’s nothing her wife can’t handle

Guardian Angel

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader

Summary: When she grows anxious after defeating Alice to keep you safe, Allison vows to protect you from every threat in the studio.

Word Count: 3.43k Content Warnings: Slight language, mentions of injury, bullet wounds, death, anxiety, and paranoia Category: Soft Angst + Fluff || Preference / Oneshot

[A/N]: Thanks for 210+ followers. :) Note: "[Y/N]" is used in most of my stories, just as a small warning in case that throws you off. I'm switching to have my stories in second-person POV, but all characters will still refer to the reader as "[Y/N]".

Enjoy!

“Darling, I’m not sure about this,” Allison murmured as she stopped you from opening the door. “I know you think you can get through to her, but she’s too far gone. I’ve tried for years now to talk to her. I don’t want her to hurt you.” You smiled softly at her concern. Turning to face her, you took hold of her right hand and clasped it between both of your own. Her expression softened at the warmth of your hands and the sight of your grin.

“Allison, I promise everything will be okay. She’s surprisingly never hurt me before, so I’m sure this time won’t be any different.” She seemed uneasy again. “I know she’s been…"peaceful" with you in the past, but she’s incredibly unpredictable. She could turn on you in the blink of an eye.”

A quiet sigh slipped through your lips and you nodded. “I know. Listen,” you squeezed her hand as you spoke. “I promise that if anything happens, I’ll get away from her as fast as I can, and I’ll hide away until I can get back, or at least until you or Tom can find me, okay?”

Something in her eyes seemed to show that she didn’t trust your words. She knew she could trust you, and that you likely could get away if you needed to, as you promised, but that didn’t take away her growing fear of losing you to the very woman she tried to help her entire life down in the studio they had shared. Still, she could only nod and ask you to be careful. She watched with slight panic when you slipped through the door and disappeared down the halls. She prayed she’d see you again. Alive.

“Alice, I’m not trying to start an argument. I’m just saying it might be good to find a more humane way to carry out your experiments. I’m not saying you have to stop doing them,” you explained, trying to keep your voice steady to avoid upsetting Alice even further. Your tone, no matter how calm it was,  still seemed to agitate her. She all but growled at you, finally turning to you and shoving you backward. You flailed your arms in an attempt to steady yourself. She stepped closer soon after and shoved an accusatory finger in your face. “Who do you think you are, telling me what to do and ordering me around?” You stared at her, confused. “Alice,” you started, hands now held up in surrender. “I’m not ordering you to do anything. All I’m saying is–” The Angel shoved you again.

“You will not speak to me and try to control me. Especially not while we’re in my territory.” Her arm swooped up, motioning toward the arena she had made her own in case of an attack. Quickly after, her attention turned back to you, the non-tattered part of her lips stretching further into a scowl. Once more, you offered up a sign of peace, trying your best to calm the situation.

When Alice got as irritated as she seemed to be in that moment, it tended to be best to either do as she said or find common ground. You had no idea how you managed to get her to spare you for this long, but you certainly didn’t want to ruin it and lose your life. You had promised Allison that you’d come home, and you didn’t intend to break that promise.

“Alice, I promise I’m not trying to upset you here. We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, I just wanted to give my opinion on what you’re doing. I see now that was a mistake.” At first, it felt like those words were the correct ones to use in the moment. Her body language seemed to prove you wrong, however. Shoulders tensed and jaw clenched, she raised her hand. Before you had any time to react, the backs of her knuckles came down hard against your cheek, sending you spiraling down.

When you gathered your bearings again, you found that she was now standing over you. Her leg lifted and just as swiftly dropped down. Her heel jabbed you roughly in the stomach and dug itself in, causing you to wail and clutch at her calf. Pathetically, you tried to push her leg away. “You have no right to speak to me that way. Had I wanted someone’s opinion on what I’m doing, I certainly would not have asked someone as incompetent as yourself. You will obey me in my domain, and I am ordering you to keep your mouth shut!”

As best as you could, you let out a weak cough, then begged her to stop. “Please, Alice,” you managed to choke out. “I'm sorry. I just wanted to–” “No!” In a mere second, you were staring down the barrel of her tommy gun. “I’m not sure why I was ever merciful toward you. You’re with that…that copycat, Allison! I should’ve known right away that you were only going to be a thorn in my side.” She stepped closer with a wicked grin, bringing her gun only an inch from the center of your forehead. “Final curtain, honey. Now you won’t burden me ever again.”

Her finger slipped from the side of the guard, hooking around the rugged trigger. She cackled as she studied the fear in your eyes, almost as if she found some sort of sick, twisted delight at the sight. “Bye-bye, baby,” she mocked. Your eyes pinched themselves shut, tingling limbs frozen in shock and terror as you silently readied yourself for the loud crack of your demise. The barrel finally planted itself against your clammy skin.

A loud cry rang out, and the gun finally fired.

One pop, then two.

You remained still on the ground, too afraid to open your eyes.

Still, you were breathing.

You could still hear the now deafening silence that surrounded you.

The sound of your heartbeat hammering against your ribs finally filled your ears.

At length, when you felt no pain where you had been preparing to, you finally let yourself peek at your surroundings. Alice was no longer in front of you, nor was the weapon. Almost instinctively, your hand came up to the center of your forehead, fingertips shakily grazing against the uninjured skin. Your hand dropped back down, allowing you to see that all you had collected was sweat. There was no blood that you could see.

“[Y/N]!” A familiar voice finally called out, snapping you out of your confused trance. When you looked up, Allison was there, concern riddled against her face and contorting her features. “Oh, thank the heavens you’re alive. I was so afraid I hadn’t gotten here in time. Are you alright? She didn’t hurt you too badly, did she?” Her free hand cupped your face. She tilted your head to the side, examining you and searching for any cuts or bruises. The same hand then dropped down to lift your shirt. She winced at the sight of your skin already bruising because of Alice’s heel. You could see she was holding something. You turned your head far enough to see what it was.

There, in her other hand, was the tommy gun that had nearly taken your life shortly before. You finally managed to glimpse around to see where Alice had gone, only to find her on the ground with inky blood pooling around her. There were two visible bullet holes from where you were seated. One in the center of her throat that caused her to gurgle as she gasped for breath, and the other through the lower part of her jaw. Her limbs seemed to twitch and convulse for a brief moment, then stilled. You shivered at the sight, stifling the bile creeping up your throat, then finally returned your attention to the woman in front of you to ignore the reality of the corpse by your side.

“Uh,” you stammered, struggling to form words. Blinking from the sensation of your eyes burning, you felt Allison’s thumb graze over your cheeks to wipe the trickling tears away. “Uh, no, I’m alright.” She sighed heavily in relief. After bringing you up to your feet, she helped to lead you out of the room, supporting your weight against her. Had the gun not still been in her hold, she would’ve picked you up and carried you home. “Where were… how did you get here in time? I thought you were still back at the safe house.”

An anxious look crossed her face. She laughed nervously and glanced up at one of the nearby platforms. “Well, don’t be upset with me, okay?" Wordlessly, you nodded, a sign for her to continue. "After you had told me you were going to speak with Alice, I got really worried, and I ended up following you. I was actually in here before either of you were. I was hiding up there,” she explained, pointing up at the place she had been perched up on before the fight broke out. “At first, I didn’t want to get involved. I trust you, and I know you’re able to get her to calm down most of the time, but when I saw her pull out her gun, I just… I panicked. I had to do something.

“I couldn’t just stand by and watch her kill you, and I couldn't stand the idea of something happening here, out of my control, while I was still home. I would never have been able to forgive myself.” She glanced down at the gun still in her hands. “I’m not sure why my first instinct was to fire at her. It felt like I didn’t have any control over my body. I realized I needed to protect you, and then I sort of,” she paused, trying to find the right word. “Blacked out, I guess.”

You listened intently, unsure of what to say in response. Finally, you glanced down at the ground, watching your feet shakily carry you forward to where Allison was leading you. “Well, either way, thank you. I thought I was a goner back there.” She chuckled weakly and nodded. “Of course. I’ll always find a way to protect you.”

The rest of the walk back to the safe house was silent. The reality of Alice’s death and the fading adrenaline brought both discomfort and exhaustion to the two of you. By the time you made it back, it felt like you were going to collapse any minute. Before that could happen, however, Allison helped you to your room and sat you down on your bed. She left the room, then quickly returned with the makeshift med-kit from the bathroom. “I’ve got some ointment that’ll help with the bruise she gave you. Could you lift your shirt up a bit for me?”

Confused, you obliged, watching as she sat next to you and slid the small jar from the container. How had she known about that?

You hardly remembered that she checked it in the arena. She had even admitted to you that she saw the whole thing happen. Your mind felt fuzzy from all that you had bared witness to.

She unscrewed the cap, scooped up a small amount with the pads of her fingers, then reached down to rub it against your already bruising skin from where Alice had stomped on you. A shiver ran down your spine at how cold it was. She murmured a small apology, though she continued to apply the rest of it.

Eventually, she leaned back and closed the jar. She popped it back into the plastic med-kit box, snapped it shut, then put it away on one of the shelves you kept a few books on near the bed. “That should help it heal a bit faster. I’m sorry I didn’t prevent it in the first place.” You dropped your shirt back down to cover yourself and turned to her.

“Allison, none of this was your fault. You were right. I really should’ve listened to you before I left. There was no reason for me to talk to her about her experiments. I mean, some part of me already knew that she wasn’t going to hear me out, but I still went anyway. I’m just lucky you were there. Otherwise, I’d probably be in Alice’s position: dead on the ground.”

Allison shook her head and grimaced. “Oh, god, I don’t even want to think about that.” You smiled and gently nudged her shoulder.``Well, now you don’t have to. I’m still here right now because of you.” Her lips perked up, mirroring your grin. She seemed to want to say something else, but once you let out a loud yawn, she decided against it. After double checking that you were free of any other injuries, she stood from her spot on the mattress and trailed over to the door. “Well, I’ll let you rest. Don’t be afraid to come get me if you need anything else, alright?”

You nodded up at her. Already, you were climbing underneath the covers and reaching to turn off the bedside lamp. “Thanks again, Allison,” you whispered just loud enough for her to hear before she left. “Of course, darling.” She then stepped out into the hall and shut the door silently behind her. Tom would be out much longer, she knew that, considering he was scrounging around for more scraps to add to their food supply. With how scarce it was, he’d likely be gone for a few days. There was no one else she could talk to about her growing fears. She sighed and went to her room.

Once she was alone, she plopped down onto her bed and let her head fall into her hands. “That was too close,” she mumbled. “I should’ve been there sooner. Acted sooner. I could’ve lost her.”

Her mind continued to race for over an hour, even long after she had shut off the overhead light and bundled herself under her blankets. She stared up at the ceiling once she realized she wouldn’t be getting any sleep anytime soon. The calloused tips of her fingers picked at the frayed fabric of the weighted blanket on top of her.

Although she repeatedly tried to remind herself that you were perfectly alright in the next room over and were going to recover from your minor injury, the reality that you had almost been ripped away from her because of someone she had tried to help for years set in and overwhelmed every thought that crossed her mind. Tears pricked her eyes and trickled down her temples, disappearing into her hairline.

She figured she had been lying there for hours by the time she decided she’d do something about her fears. Swiftly, her arms shoved the comforter away. With trembling legs, she trudged out of bed and left her room. She returned to stand in front of your door, which she opened slowly to ensure she didn’t wake you.

At first, she only sat near you on the bed, watching over you in case you woke up needing something. But she quickly realized that her eyes were growing heavy from fatigue. Somehow, just by seeing that you were still breathing and peacefully sleeping, her mind seemed to finally settle and let her relax. It helped ground her into the present rather than letting her dwell over the haunting image she still had about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t gotten to you in time.

She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her palms and glancing over at the clock you kept hung beside the door. It had been around four hours since she was last in there with you, yet it felt like it had been an eternity for her. As slowly and carefully as she could, she climbed over beside you, shuffling forward to join you under the covers. She rested on her side, greeted with the sight of your back still facing her.

Involuntarily, her hand slid up from its place on the pillow next to her head to place itself on the center of your back. There, she could feel your heart beating safely behind your ribs.

Similar to before, though under different circumstances, it felt like she had no control over her body. She shifted closer to you and pulled you against her, letting her head fall against your back to help her better feel and hear your heartbeat. Cold, strong arms wrapped themselves around you and tugged you even further against her form.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” she muttered more to herself than you. “I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if I hadn’t managed to stop her from hurting you again. I don’t think I could’ve kept going. And if Tom weren’t still here, I certainly would’ve given up. The two of you are all I have, and even though I’ve known Tom for so long, I can’t help but fear losing you more. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and I honestly think I’ve fallen in love with you. Of course, I have no memory of who I was before I showed up here, so I can’t pull these feelings from anything I might’ve experienced, but it feels like the right term to me.

“I do love you, [Y/N]. I just wish I was able to say it to your face. You’re everything to me, and even though I know you’d still care for me and we’d still be close, I can’t help but fear the idea of you rejecting me or not feeling the same. There’s not much I can offer you down here in the studio, but I want to give you the best life I possibly can. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, regardless of how things turn out between us. I don’t ever want us to grow apart.

“I think that’s why I lost control when I saw how Alice was going to kill you so easily. I’ve never been so quick to kill someone. I like to believe that everyone down here deserves another chance to find themselves again, but I feel like Alice was a lost cause, and seeing her standing over you like that only confirmed it for me. No matter what I did for her, she always seemed to be angry at the world–at herself, too. I was terrified when I saw her point that damned gun at your head. When I can physically bring myself to, I want to throw it into the river of ink downstairs so I'll never have to see it again.

“I don’t think I could go every single day seeing the very thing that nearly stole you from me. I know Alice was the one controlling it, but it brings back too many bad memories and ideas. I just…”

She sucked in a breath, nuzzling her face against your back and sighing when she could pick up the scent of your shampoo and the fragrance you always liked to wear. The feeling of your warmth and soft shirt against her skin helped bring a stronger sense of comfort. Instantly, it calmed her. “I just want you to know that I’ll always do anything I can to keep you safe. Not just from Alice, even though we most likely won’t have to worry about her anymore, but from everything. Including the Ink Demon. If I have to lay down my life to make sure you can live out the entirety of yours, I’ll do it.”

Finally, after so long of struggling to do so, her eyes fluttered shut. A yawn slipped from her lips and she murmured something to herself for a moment. Just as she almost drifted all the way off, the feeling of you shuffling and squirming in her arms brought her back to half-consciousness. She glanced over at you, finding that you had rolled over and shimmied your way beneath the covers to press your head against her chest. She couldn’t help but beam down at you and hug you closer.

Drowsily, she leaned down enough to press a featherlike kiss to the top of your head. Her chin then dropped to rest where her lips had just been, eyes closing once more. Her grip on you stayed firm, even after she had fallen asleep. As long as she knew you were there, safe in her arms, she was confident that everything would be alright.

Reborn

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader

Summary: You're rebirthed from the Ink Machine, wandering around trying to find shelter. You stumble across Allison and Tom, who take you in and offer some advice.

Word Count: 5.01k Content Warnings: Mentions of fear, memory loss, very small mention of blood, minor injuries Category: Angst + Fluffy Ending || Oneshot

[A/N]: I'm trying to write multiple stories at once before uploading, that way I can schedule them to post over several weeks. Please excuse the random gaps in posting.

Enjoy!

 Every muscle and joint in your body ached as you trudged forward. Headaches had become the only constant at this point, as well as the nearly consistent rumbling of your stomach. With every step forward, each nerve in your body was set ablaze. You had no idea how you ended up in this strange place. All you knew for certain was that you were terrified, lost, and starving. It had been nearly two weeks now, and you had only barely managed to survive off of random scraps of food you had found in trash cans, crates, and on dusted shelves.

The last thing you could remember before you found yourself wandering the seemingly endless hallways was being thrown out of a large pipe from a machine. You had been covered head to toe in thick ink, and you had to be careful not to breathe too much until you could wipe it off, otherwise you’d have found yourself suffocating on the thick substance.

Once you had managed to get the majority of the ink drained off your body, it took hours to find the strength to stand and leave the room. You noticed almost immediately that you were alone. Wherever you were, there was no sign of finding help anytime soon. The very few “people” you did come across either tried to kill you, or were simply unable to speak at all. After several escapes from death, trying to escape terrifying creatures and a large demonic beast, you realized you would have to fend for yourself. Hours passed, then days, and it rapidly shifted to weeks. During that time, it was growing increasingly more difficult to get around. The lack of food and proper sleep left you weak and unable to think things through.

By the time you found a decent supply of food, your legs gave out beneath you. You collapsed to the ground, yelping at the warped planks clashing against your knees and shins. The cracked wood forced splinters into your skin. Small droplets of blood speckled the ground beneath you as you tried to stand again, ultimately failing. Pathetically, you crawled forward to the crate, prying it open and picking out the can that had the least amount of scratches and dents. You slid your makeshift shiv from your pocket, which you had originally made to defend yourself a day or two after arriving there, to lift the lid.

As the thin sheet of metal was cracked open, the shiv broke, prompting you to panic and curse under your breath. That was all you had to arm yourself against the vile things lurking around the corners, and now it had shattered while you tried to survive with the cans of soup you had been lucky enough to stumble across.

The sound of the makeshift knife snapping seemed to have been too loud. It echoed down the hall, reverberating throughout the pipes that dripped with the same ink you had been coated in weeks ago. All too soon, before you could even take a sip of the provisions you had found, a loud heartbeat was heard, increasing in volume as the source grew closer.

Fear shot through your body, veins running cold with fear. The adrenaline alone finally allowed you to stand again. Your head whipped around, eyes desperately scanning the room for a Miracle Station to hide in. There weren’t any nearby, causing even more panic. Thinking purely on instinct, you dove behind a large cart blocking a small gap in the wall. Too afraid to peek out at whatever was now only a few feet away, you could only strain your ears to listen past the sound of your racing heart. Your eyes shut tightly, tears springing free, and you clutched at your ink-stained shirt in an attempt to steady your trembling hands.

Low growling and ragged breathing were all you were able to hear. Just as it neared the crevice you were hidden away in, a loud scream rang out far in the distance. It sounded like you weren’t the only one being hunted down in this place. It just seemed like you had been lucky enough to get away each time, though you couldn’t say the same for them. This wail caught the attention of whatever was just on the other side of the wall, and soon it was running in the direction of the roaring cry. You waited for it to return, but it never did. You let out a sigh, which quickly turned to a choked sob.

You clasped your hands over your mouth in surprise, not wanting to attract anymore attention to yourself. Thinking back to everything you needed to do seemed to help, considering you were focusing more on survival than the fact you could be ripped to shreds at any given moment. Hesitantly, you shuffled out into the small room again and practically crawled back to the crate with the cans. You figured it would be a better idea to find a good hiding place to eat them in.

Since you had no idea what was nearby, you simply returned to the space you had crammed yourself into just mere moments before and slurped down two out of six of the cans in silence.

For now, for better or for worse, this was your life.

“Tom, could you give me a hand real quick?” Allison asked, motioning for the wolf to join her by a large shelf. He nodded, walked over to her, and helped her climb up just enough to reach the top shelf, allowing her to grab a flimsy box full of bacon soup cans. After standing properly again down on the ground, she counted how many there were. “We’ve got eight to add. What have you found so far?” Tom jutted his thumb in the direction of three boxes, much to Allison’s surprise. She walked over to count them, only to find that the majority of the cans were empty or entirely rotten.

She grimaced at the smell of the molded cans and turned to Tom. “How many of these are full? Can we even eat any of these?” A small shrug was her response. She sighed and nodded, then headed back over to the box she had just taken down, then added it to the other couple of crates and boxes she had gathered recently.

“Alright, I think we’ve got enough for now. That’s thirty-five cans, or more if those new boxes you found are all safe to eat.” Tom nodded and began to pick the few by him up, Allison doing the same. The two of them began to help each other head to their safe house. Just as they reached the hallway that led to the entrance, Tom froze in place, his ears perking up and toward a strange noise only he seemed to be able to hear.

Allison noticed almost immediately and turned to him, asking what was wrong. He placed his boxes down and stepped to the corner of the wall, peering out at the adjacent hall. “Tom?” He waved her over, and once she put her own items down and joined him, she was finally able to slightly hear what he could. Somewhere nearby, someone was weeping. It didn’t sound like the weeping of the Lost Ones that they had grown accustomed to–it sounded like a young woman. They could hear her slightly mumbling to herself, and they both realized that they didn’t recognize the voice.

Tom was the first to emerge from the corner. He slipped his axe from the band on his back and snuck toward the source of the noise. Allison followed closely behind, her hand hovering above the handle to her machete, and she listened as the sobbing grew louder. Finally, they came to stand right before the woman responsible for the sounds. Tom stood over you now, studying the way you huddled yourself behind a large table.

The moment you noticed him, you gasped and scrambled back, doing your best to hide away even further. “Please!” You wailed. “Please don’t kill me. I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone!”

Tom seemed to almost freeze at how you begged him for mercy, unsure of who you were and how to handle the situation. He crouched down to be eye level with you. His head cocked to the side as he studied over your features. He had never seen you around before, and you seemed to be panicking about every little motion he made. You had to have been new to the studio–that was the only thing that made sense to him.

You weren’t birthed into the studio as a Lost One or a Searcher. You resembled a human with more cartoonish features, your skin a shade of yellow, your hair made entirely of ink, your limbs and clothing coated in it as well. You were one of the lucky souls who managed to survive and keep some sort of humanity during the transition. However, it didn’t seem like you understood anything at all.

“Tom,” Allison whispered from nearby. He glanced over at her, finding her features to be riddled with confusion as to why he was crouching down in front of the crying woman. Wordlessly, he motioned for her to come over. She obliged immediately, her hand still ready to grab hold of her blade.

Upon seeing you, Allison grew curious. Who were you? Why were you here in the studio? Her eyes flickered over to Tom, who poked at your hair to show how you had been reborn from the Machine. Allison’s features softened as she watched how you flinched away from his touch, prompting him to quickly withdraw his mechanical arm. You kept your gaze on his axe, weary of what he planned to do.

“Tom,” Allison murmured again, jutting her chin toward his weapon. “I think it’s scaring her. Maybe you could put it away? I think she’s telling the truth.” He shook his head and tightened his grip on the handle of the axe. The Angel sighed and stepped closer to him, pulling her machete from its sheath and placing it down nearby to hopefully put you more at ease. “Well, if you aren’t going to, could you give her some space? I don’t think we should be crowding her.”

Reluctantly, Tom backed away and watched from a few feet behind. Allison smiled at him, turned back to you, then crouched down similarly to how the wolf had done a moment prior. She held out her hand for you to take. As she spoke, she kept her tone soft and welcoming.

“Do you need any help? You look like you’ve been through so much.”

You stayed silent, eyes glancing between her and her open palm. She waited a moment before speaking again.

“You don’t need to worry. I’m not going to hurt you, alright? My name is Allison, and this,” she motioned over toward the wolf still watching closely, “is Tom. We’re like you: people who ended up being reborn into this studio.” Her head tilted to the side as she did her best to search your skin for any injuries. “Do you have a name?”

At this question, you seemed to pause. Your eyes stared down at the ground, hands coming up to clutch at your shirt and hair as your breathing grew uneven. Allison panicked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you, I’m–” “I don’t know my name,” you blurted, voice shaking and cracking. “I-I don’t remember my name. I don’t… I don’t remember who I am! Why am I here? What is this place? Why is everyone here trying to kill me or hunt me down?”

As your endless questioning continued, Allison glanced back at Tom with worry. How long had you been down here alone?

She quickly switched the topic. “Hey, hey, forget about that for just a moment. Your memory might come back to you eventually. What’s the first thing you can remember?” The gears in your mind began to turn as you reflected back on all that had happened in the past few weeks. “I don’t,” you stammered, swallowing hard. “I don’t know. I think I dropped out of some kind of…tube? Or maybe a pipe? A-All I can remember is there was some kind of machine when I woke up, and I was completely covered in ink. But why can’t I remember who I was before, or how I ended up in this place?”

A look of pitiful sympathy was now painting Allison’s face. She could remember how scared she had been years ago when she was in your shoes, especially after she realized she no longer had her memories from when she was still human. One of the most aggravating things to her all those years ago was not having any idea of who she used to be, and it was incredibly painful to see someone else suffering from the same fate.

“I’ve been looking for food and shelter for weeks now,” you continued. “All I’ve managed to find is six cans of some kind of soup. I can’t find anywhere that’s safe, though. I keep getting tracked down by this weird… demon.” Tom growled at the words, and Allison had to hold her arm out to stop him from stepping any further than he already had. He felt sympathetic for your situation, sure. Allison had been in the same spot years ago. But the Ink Demon had your scent, and you admitted that he was actively hunting you down. He couldn’t put himself and the Angel in danger just because you weren’t able to fend for yourself.

Allison nodded at your words. “Yeah, the food supply down here is running out. The scarce amount that Tom and I can find are never quite enough to even last us a month. You said you found a few cans on your own?” You hesitantly nodded back. “That’s good. That means there’s still supplies to gather. Did you eat any of it? We could give you a bit if you didn’t.” Tom grew aggravated at this, and Allison sent him a look of warning in response. “Tom, we may not have much, but we have plenty to offer one person a meal.”

Shortly after their small staredown, the Angel turned to face you once more. She gently took hold of your right hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “I know how you feel right now. Believe me, I do. I was in your exact same position several years ago after I was reborn. Even to this day, I have no memory of my past life, but things get better with time. It’s scary, I know, and you have every right to feel scared. I just want you to know that there are still people down here who will always be willing to help you with whatever you need. Tom and I are two of them, whether Tom wants to admit that or not.

“You’ll be okay, darling. Everything will be okay eventually, I promise.” You could only stare at her for a moment, no longer used to someone treating you with kindness. Everyone else you had met up until that point attacked you or pretended you didn’t exist. You weren’t sure how to react.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You finally managed to ask. Allison smiled warmly and squeezed your hand again. “Well, like I said, I’ve been in your shoes. And even though it was so long ago, I can still remember so clearly how badly I wanted someone to help me out. I was alone for so long, and it made things…complicated. I don’t want that for you. I want to be the helping hand for you that I needed once I was reborn.”

Her selflessness left you speechless. She seemed so well put together, even after confessing that she once was just like you were now. And yet, there you were: trembling, weak, and terrified of the new world around you. You hoped she was right and that you’d one day be able to find some sort of the confidence she seemed to have.

“Would you want to stay with us until you can get back on your feet? Tom and I can show you the ropes around here so you can learn to survive on your own.” You finally looked back up at the wolf, expecting to see him still ready to swing at you any moment. He seemed far calmer, however, and even showed some sort of compassion with how he stared at you.

In truth, he still didn’t entirely trust you. You were still a newcomer here, and he tended to be cold to them. There were very few that he trusted immediately, and even though you weren’t necessarily one of them, he still found himself at ease. You weren’t a threat, that much was obvious. You were too fearful of others to try and attack. On top of that, after hearing you and Allison speak, he understood why she was already so welcoming.

Tom had been the first one to greet Allison after she resurfaced from the inky womb of the Machine. They quickly grew to trust each other, and he could still recall how much livelier the Angel grew when she accepted that she was no longer alone in the world. He adored that look on her face then, albeit it was because of their past that she didn’t remember, and he found that he would feel better about himself to grant that solace to someone else as well.

Peace hardly ever came to the people down in the studio. Who was he to deny granting it to someone who needed it most?

With a huff, he nodded at you, Your mouth fell agape in surprise at how quickly they both were willing to accept you into their home. Your attention turned back to Allison, who stared back expectantly with a calm gaze. “That would be,” you whispered breathlessly. There was no way you could put your gratitude into words. “That would be incredible. Thank you both,” was all you managed to say.

In response, you were greeted with a wider smile from the Angel and a small smirk from the wolf. With her hand still grasping yours, Allison stood and helped pull you to your feet. “Let’s go, then. It’s never safe to stay in one place for too long down here. We actually aren’t far from here at all.”

You silently nodded and trailed after the two. Allison had let go of your hand to pick her machete back up from the ground, though you were quick to cling to her arm as she led you down the next hallway over. She grinned at you and squeezed your hand again, not letting it go until the three of you made it to a towering steel door with a large handwheel valve placed in the center. Tom was the one who turned it and pushed it open. He picked up the boxes he had previously set down and carried them inside.

Allison shifted her arm to slip your hands off just long enough for her to lift her own collection of crates and boxes.”You first,” she quipped and nodded her head toward the door. You quickly did as told and stepped into the safe house, instantly looking around at how comfortable it was in comparison to where you had been staying the past couple of weeks.

Soon enough, the door was shut and locked behind you, and you turned to see Allison was now headed toward a shelf to help stock the cans with Tom. All you could think to do was stand there awkwardly, worried you’d only be getting in the way if you offered to help. The Angel took notice of your tense form and chuckled. “You can sit down, darling. We won’t be upset if you make yourself comfortable.” A nod was your reply, and you trotted over to one of the bulky wooden chairs encircling the large table in the center of the room.

You watched as Tom and Allison continued to place the cans on the shelves and counted them. They began talking about how they planned on rationing them evenly between three people. A pang of guilt shot in your heart at how much they were already doing, realizing you didn’t really have anything to offer in return.

You did your best to remind yourself that they were understanding of your situation and likely didn’t expect anything. They were aware that you were struggling to survive on your own, and you had told them of how you had been hiding anywhere you could, so they knew you didn’t have much of anything at all.

Without realizing it, you had lost focus, staring down blankly at the surface of the wooden table. You were snapped out of your trance when a bowl full of bacon soup was placed down in front of you. A quick blink and glance up let you know that Allison had been the one to put it there. “I’m not sure how long it’s been since you’ve eaten, but here. I’m sure you must be starving either way, judging on what you’ve told us so far. I’ll go tidy up where you’ll be sleeping while you eat.”

You continued to stare at the bowl in silence after Allison walked away into a different room. You nearly denied the food, but the volume of your stomach growling forced you to push that thought away instantly. With a swift motion, you picked up the bowl and began to drink from it, too famished to worry about how there was a spoon beside it for you to use instead.

It only took a minute before you had drained the bowl of the broth. You then finally picked up the spoon and used it to scoop up the small pieces of bacon gathered at the bottom. By the time you finished, Allison had returned to the room, laughing softly in surprise at how quickly you had managed to finish. “You really were hungry,” she murmured, then looking sorrowful. “You must’ve had so little to eat while you were wandering around. I can’t imagine being starved for that long.”

A look of sheepishness now adorned your features as you looked down. “Sorry,” you whispered. She stepped over and stood beside you, her hand dropping to rest on your shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize. I would’ve done the exact same thing. In fact, I did do the same thing back when Tom and I started gathering rations.” She smirked and pointed over at the wolf, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Tom eats like that all the time anyway, so you really aren’t doing anything too out of the ordinary here.”

A look of relief crossed her face when you laughed at her words. Now you felt more at ease, even after nearly downing an entire can of soup in less than a minute. “Come on, I’ll show you to your room. It’s nothing fancy, but at least you’ll have your own bed and some privacy.” You felt excited at the mention of a safe place to finally get a proper night’s rest. Standing from your spot at the table, you trailed behind her as she brought you to a small room.

There, you found that you now had a bed with thick comforters and pillows, a large chest tucked in the corner for storage, a makeshift aquarium with live fish built into the furthest wall, and a small column of shelves lined with plenty of books. You beamed ear to ear at the sight, glancing over at Allison. She mirrored your expression, grateful to see you so joyous over what she and Tom were able to provide. “I love it,” you stated gleefully. Almost instantly, you walked forward and practically threw yourself onto the bed, the plush surface welcoming and already lulling you into sleep.

Allison snickered once again and opened the door again. “Sleep well, darling. You’ll be safe here,” she whispered, then closed the door.

 It had been several months since Allison and Tom had graciously taken you in. During that time, Allison had been the most understanding, considering she knew exactly what you were going through. She helped you choose your name since you couldn’t remember your old one, gave you rations and supplies to keep you safe when you joined her to scavenge for supplies, and offered advice on how to cope with no longer remembering who you used to be.

After another successful round of gathering supplies, you and Tom had sat down at the dining room table to play a game of cards, the radio playing softly in the background. Allison hadn’t gone with the two of you, instead heading down to the lower levels on her own. She returned about an hour after you and Tom had made it back. Immediately after stepping through the door and shutting it, she greeted you both.

You smiled at her as she walked over to give you a small hug. She questioned how the search had gone, and while Tom gave a simple thumbs up, you gave a more detailed description of what had happened. Allison beamed brightly at you and sat in the chair next to you, chin resting in her palm as she listened intently to the way you enthusiastically recalled your quick trip with Tom. As you chuckled at how the wolf had dropped an empty box on his head and gotten it stuck there, the Angel couldn’t help but laugh with you, much to Tom’s dismay.

She could feel the sensation of her heart fluttering that she had grown familiar with during your stay. She couldn’t–and wouldn’t–deny that she had fallen for you, though she wasn’t sure how to let you know. So instead, she kept it to herself for the time being. She enjoyed listening to you talk, hearing you sing with a random song playing on the radio, watching you make up a small dance as you cooked the soup at the stove, and overall just appreciated having you around. That was enough for her until she was ready to confess.

Tom had developed a soft spot for you, too. Although it took him far longer to trust you, he knew that you weren’t there to harm him or Allison. All it took to fully convince him was swooping in to stall an enemy long enough for him and the Angel to get away. You had risked your life for both of them, claiming that it was the least you could do after all they had given you, and that was enough for him. He knew how Allison felt for you, and although it hurt him to watch the woman he was once married to fall for someone else, he was at least glad it was you she had taken an interest in. He trusted that you’d keep her happy.

Once your laughter calmed down and your story came to an end, you couldn’t wipe the smile from your lips, glancing down at your cards. “I really can’t thank either of you enough for helping me out these past few months. I really do appreciate all you’ve done for me, and I hope one day I’ll be able to properly repay you. I love it here in the safe house.”

With a casual motion, Allison reached over and took hold of your hand to squeeze it the way she often did now. “You don’t need to do a thing. Just having you here with us is enough. You know you can stay here as long as you’d like.”

Although she didn’t want to admit it, she had actually grown to hate the thought of you leaving to live on your own. Not necessarily because she didn’t trust that you couldn’t defend yourself, but because she would miss having you around. Tom was great company on his own, but your cheerful, positive personality was a breath of fresh air to both of them. It made it far more enjoyable to come home for the day.

If you left to be on your own, there would be so much she’d miss. No more late night talks or bundling up to read a book together, no more watching you doodle and paint while she talked to Tom about their plans for the day, no more cuddling up under the blankets with each other when the studio grew frigid in the winter months, and no more days spent simply relaxing with the one person who truly understood all she had been through.

In a way, she had grown dependent on you.

It was a foreign feeling, considering she had grown to be a hardened survivor, but she enjoyed this new sensation.

She loved feeling this way.

She loved you, so, so much.

“You know we’ll always be here for you. You aren’t doing this alone anymore.” Her hand squeezed yours again, her gaze lingering a little too long on your features as you bashfully moved to stare back at your free hand still grasping your cards with a smile. “I know,” you replied. “Thank you both so much. I can’t ever tell you how grateful I truly am. And for what it’s worth, I promise to protect both of you with my life the same way you’ve done for me.”

Although your next words were mostly directed toward both of them, you found yourself staring directly at Allison as you spoke. Your hand squeezed hers three times, a wordless phrase her face burned brightly at. She had no need to worry about whether or not you knew of her feelings for you anymore–you had just told her you felt the same, even when your words didn’t say it explicitly.

“You mean everything to me. I couldn’t have asked for better love and company in this new world. Thank you, truly.”

Down the Barrel

[BATIM/BATDR] Alice Angel x Female Reader

Summary: Alice thinks you've betrayed her, assuming you gave away the location of her safehouse after she sees you talking to Allison and Tom. You have to save yourself from this misunderstanding.

Word Count: 4.24k Content Warnings: Toxic/abusive relationship, manipulation, syringes and injections, fear of abandonment, near-death experience, jealousy, manipulation, a "break up" between Reader and Alice Category: Heavy Angst || Oneshot

[A/N]: Alice and Reader have an extremely unhealthy relationship in this short story, but I am in no way trying to condone or romanticize it. There are multiple sensitive topics as listed above, so please look after yourself and avoid reading if you feel any of these are too heavy for you.

Enjoy!

 From close behind, merely inches away, you could hear the sound of Alice’s heels clicking against the warped planks beneath her. You had headed toward the vault door to head out for the day, but mistakenly forgot to let her know. Frigid fingers clasped themselves around your wrist and held you in place with a vice grip. A small tug backward was all it took for you to turn and face her. “Where do you think you’re going?” She pulled you closer, her hold on you never faltering, even as you stumbled forward from the motion. As she spoke, the one eye she still had intact narrowed, almost threatening you and daring you not to cower under her gaze.

Her tone was demeaning. Each time you tried to pull your arm from her clutch, her nails only dug deeper into your skin. With a harsh swallow, you managed to stammer out an answer. “I’m sorry, Alice. I meant to tell you, I just forgot. I was going to head down to a few of the lower levels to find a few supplies to help with your experiments.”

For a long, painful moment, she seemed to only drag out the thick tension, as though wanting you to feel the crushing consequence of blatantly ignoring the one rule she had set in place. After so long, you had managed to tear her walls down and get her to trust you, though there were still demands to be met. One of which she was more stubborn about than others. Each time you planned to leave the hidden corner of her sanctuary, you were to let her know ahead of time. If you forgot to do so, and if she wasn’t told of your whereabouts until you returned, the punishments could be ruthless.

You would be subjected to a few of her smaller, yet equally as merciless, experiments. They ranged from small tests of the weight her pulley-based traps could hold, all the way to enduring endless injections of different deadly concoctions she had developed over time, most of which would leave you bedridden for days or even weeks.

Those punishments were far worse. No matter what she kept in the syringe, the fiery jolt of pain that bursted through each vein throughout your body always seemed to be worse than the last. So little of her supplies could ease the throbbing pain that continued to torment you for weeks. Thankfully, she had eased up on carrying those punishments out as time went on. In her own twisted, demented way, she began to care for you, growing attached and increasingly fearful of losing you. Although it brought her sadistic joy to see you writhing from her tools and trials, she couldn’t bear the idea of bringing you to death’s door.

You were everything to her.

All she had left in the vile, rotten world that built the studio was you.

You weren’t spared from her tests, nor were you given a sense of freedom, but you were granted a promise she had made to keep you safe.

Even if you couldn’t avoid her line of fire when directed toward you, she made sure you were sheltered from the countless grueling abominations crawling just outside the door. Everyone beneath the domain of the crumbling studio feared two beings above everything else: the Ink Demon, and Alice Angel herself. You knew that those who were aware you were under her watch would drift apart in your favor. They’d give you room and split ways just to grant you a false sense of superiority that you knew was only caused by the fear they felt for the very woman who took you in.

Each time, even as you stood silent in front of her then, you wondered how differently your path would’ve been shaped if you had accepted the offer Allison and Tom had given you years ago to stay with them instead. With every experiment Alice put you through, you regretted turning them down more and more.

To pull you from your trance, Alice whisked your arm away and finally let go of your wrist, which had already begun to bruise. Eager to find relief, you pulled your hand to your chest to shield it as your fingers massaged the red skin. “Good,” was all she could bother to say. Still, she stood there, glaring at you expectantly. Your words seemed to bubble up in your chest and throat, though it was hard to free them.

“I should be back in two hours,” you managed to whisper weakly in the end.

The non-tattered portion of her lips tugged upward, mimicking a ghost of a smile. With her eyes still trained warily on you, she lifted her arms to cross them atop her chest. “You’d better keep true to your word,” she murmured with venom laced in her tone. As though she couldn’t be bothered to contribute to the stalemate any longer, she turned swiftly on her heel and traversed her way down the hall to return to her study, finally leaving you to your task.

Using the hand that hadn’t been throttled mere moments before, you turned the valve wheel as best you could to allow you to shove the bulky door open.

Once the steel was locked back in place behind you, your trembling legs hardly allowed you to weakly wobble forward. As you progressed to the elevator and stepped inside, some part of you screamed to run and leave Alice for good. If you weren’t so afraid of your only means of defense being stripped away, you would have left her long ago and joined Allison and Tom in their own safe house. They knew something was going on behind closed doors, but you always defended Alice without knowing why. You didn’t deserve her treatment. You knew that, and yet you stayed, but you couldn’t understand what prevented you from leaving.

You didn’t love her, and she didn’t seem to love you.

But some part of you knew what the reason likely was.

If you left, not only would people come after you, but Alice herself would hunt you like a bloodhound and take you out herself. She would probably drag you back to her sanctuary and return to the way things were when you had first been captured. There would be no restraint in her actions when she returned to experimenting on you, and you weren’t sure how many more injections you could take.

The only two people who were willing to save and protect you would also be thrown under attack, and the last thing you wanted to do was burden them with another threat. As far as you could tell, there was no way out.

The first two levels below Level 9 had nothing to offer. It seemed like someone had scavenged for supplies long before you, and you felt like you knew who it was. As you reached a floor even deeper than before, you recognized a small toolkit propped up against the only wall that hadn’t been soaked and molded with ink. Only one Angel, one who truly seemed to be a gift from heaven, carried such a particular set of tools, and waves of relief and ease crashed over your tensed form.

You meandered forward upon hearing distant murmuring combined with tin cans clanking together. As you sauntered further and neared the two shadows visible from a small office, you couldn’t help but glance over at a nearby clock, the swinging motion of the legs and arms catching your eye. Blood running cold, you realized you had been out far later than you had promised Alice you would be. Things were going to be even worse than when you had left once you returned.

But Allison and Tom were right there… you didn’t have to return.

They’d keep you safe.

With a quick breath to give yourself courage, you stepped into the office and greeted them. They turned, surprised, and smiled warmly.

A displeased grimace painted Alice’s lips as she stepped out of her study. She slammed the door behind her and charged her way to the door you had slipped through over three and a half hours before. You promised you’d be back in two hours. Where the hell had you gone?

Quickly, before leaving the hidden portion of her safe house, her clenched fist opened just long enough to snatch her tommy gun from its stand against the wall. As she muttered curse after curse under her breath, she strode to the elevator leading out of Level 9 and clicked down.With every floor that she searched, her fury and panic grew. No matter how far down she traveled, it seemed you weren’t anywhere to be found.

You betrayed her.

Lied to her.

You had to have planned something. You wouldn’t just leave her like that, would you?

Her scowl grew, and soon, she had reached one of the deepest parts of the studio. Cautiously, she forced herself to step out of the lift. Her hands clutched violently at her weapon to steady themselves as her surroundings seemed to fall further into unfamiliarity.

The halls grew longer until it seemed as though there was no end in sight. Shadows danced around the rotting ground as she pushed forward, the flickering lights soon dimming and falling as black as the ink that seeped into each wall, no life left to offer. Each step caused the floorboards to creak and wail beneath her weight, prompting a part of her mind to warn her of the possibility that the floor might give way at any moment. Breathing ragged and sharp, she eventually found the end of the hall she had been creeping down and turned to the right.

Down the adjacent corridor, a blazing glow sparked to life, providing negative space for the silhouettes of three shifting figures. With piqued curiosity, Alice couldn’t help but give in to her interest in who would dare to travel so far down to the hellish depths even the Demon himself avoided. She carried toward the source of light, body hugging the wall as she made her best effort to silence her footsteps.

With every shuffle closer, she could make out the sounds of two voices, both feminine, though no matter how hard she strained her hearing, she couldn’t make out any words. By the time she was only a few steps from the doorway, she could finally recognize the different voices. Both realizations made her blood boil beneath her skin.

You were there, speaking so casually with Allison, meaning the only other person who could be in the room as well was Tom. She could feel herself begin to seethe. Her jaw clenched as she struggled to ignore every burning nerve in her body that screamed for her to enter the office. Even without seeing you and the two people she despised the most, she could hear how relaxed the conversation seemed to be. Far too blinded by rage, she failed to listen to what was being said, only able to come up with her own dialogue.

Before anyone could take notice of her presence, she slipped away from the room and stormed back to the lift, now uncaring of the haunted surroundings in her path.

She hadn’t paid attention to where she was going. By the time she focused back in on her actions, she found herself standing stiff just before the entrance to her sanctuary. She glanced down at her hands, both trembling and desperately gripping at the grip and handguard. Behind her ribs, her heartbeat grew rapid and uneven, hammering harshly against them and causing her gasps for breath to stutter.

How could you leave her like that? Were you going to leave her for Allison? The copycat who stole everything from her?

She wouldn’t let you–couldn’t let you. You were all she had, and she was all you had. She needed you, you needed her, she loved you, you loved her, did you not?

What could she do to make you stay? Was there anything she could even do at that point? You had deceived her, made her believe you were coming back when you weren’t. That had to have been your plan: to make everything seem natural until you could get away and run to the safety of Allison and Tom. She knew they’d take you away from her in a heartbeat if you so much as asked.

She was going to lose you, she was sure. Lose the only bit of light she still had down in the world of hell she had lived alone in for so long.

Surely there was a way for her to convince you she was worth staying with.

She knew she was worthy, she just wasn’t sure how to prove it to you.

You had only been there for a short amount of time in comparison to the other poor souls trapped and sequestered from the world. You had no way of knowing the full extent of what she was capable of, nor what she was willing to do to get what she wanted. At that moment, you were all she wanted–all she needed.

You weren’t going to leave her.

She made sure of that as she heard footsteps approaching behind her. One glance over her shoulder confirmed it was you. Without hesitation, she hid herself behind the wall adjoining the hall you were headed down. As you emerged into the opening, an inky arm erupted from your side and blocked you for a brief moment. Just as quickly, the hand obstructing your path seized the collar of your shirt and yanked you forward.

The owner of the force revealed themself, and Alice–just like she had done before you left–stood before you, her face mere inches from your own. The vice grip against your blouse didn’t falter as she made the motion to shake you back and forth for an instant. When you swayed back the first time, she lifted her opposite arm and shoved her weapon toward your head.

Swallowing hard, you could only stare down the barrel of her gun as you tried to make sense of what was happening. Her piercing gaze met your fearful eyes once you managed to tear your focus away from what threatened your life.

“You vile, unforgivable wretch,” she growled. “How dare you? First, you deceive me, telling me you’ll return. Then, when I finally find you long after when you had promised to come back to me, I find you practically fawning over that damned copycat you’re always so cordial with. Heaven only knows why I ever allowed you to speak to them. They’re trying to steal yet another belonging of mine, just as they’ve done time and time again in the past.

“I won’t allow it this time. I’ll hide you away so they can’t find you and take you away from me. Somewhere they don’t know of, especially after you gave away where we’ve both been hiding past my sanctuary. I bet you want them to swoop in and save you from everything, don’t you? Is that why you told them where the safe house is? Oh, I’m sure you begged for that woman, Allison, to take you home with her and that disgusting clone that follows her like a lost puppy. Isn’t that right, you conniving little devil?”

For so long, even after she had finished voicing her list of accusations, you simply stared, entirely limp in her grasp. War raged on in your mind, begging you to say something, anything. Anything at all.

The feeling of the gun’s barrel thrusting forward to dig in against the space between your eyes finally coerced your mouth to form words again. “Alice,” you stammered out, “I never told them where we’re hiding, I promise. I was only catching up and asking where I could find the stuff you need for your tests.”

A snarl was your response at first, though she was quick to bark a retort. “You aren’t going to fool me again, you damned traitor. All you’ve done today is feed me lie after lie, and I refuse to let it continue. Why should I believe you now, knowing it could be yet another story you’re creating just to save your skin?” Once again, you tried to find a way to reason with her, desperately aching for her to let you go and pull the gun from your head. “Alice, I’m sorry. I really thought it would only take a couple of hours to find supplies, but Allison and Tom had already gathered them from the first levels downstairs, so I had to go further down to find things. That’s where I found them, and I was asking if they had anything to spare.

“If I had really told them where we were hiding, wouldn’t I have just brought them here with me? It’s easy to get lost in the studio. Just giving directions wouldn’t do anything. It’s like a maze trying to get to our safety zone. Even with their experience, I doubt they’d be able to find it without being noticed.”

Much to your relief, each point you had to offer compelled her to loosen her grip until ultimately you fell to the floor. She stared down at you, face devoid of any emotion as she processed all that you had said. You mustered up the strength to rise from the ground and stand on wobbly legs. It took everything in you to meet her eye as you did so, trying your best to fein a look of concern.

“You don’t really think I’d betray you, do you?”

She simply stood there in silence, her one good eye boring down blankly at you.

“Let’s go,” she grumbled, her gun falling to her side and her free hand slipping into yours to tug you along behind her.

She turned, then began the long journey back to the safe house. A thick, heavy tension hung in the air between the both of you. The silence was deafening, and even as you hopelessly tried to think of what to say to ease into some kind of conversation, not a word was uttered by the time you had made it to the vault door. Alice turned the valve wheel and forced the door open, letting you step inside before her so she could shut and lock it behind her.

You turned to her, watched as she dropped her gun on the table seated in the center of the foyer, then silently trailed behind her as she walked to your shared bedroom. When you stepped forward to cross the doorway and join her in the room, she practically slammed the door in your face, making you stumble backward in shock.

“Alice?” You questioned with a small knock on the sturdy wooden surface.

“Leave me be,” was all you could hear.

Huffing out a sigh and letting your shoulders slump in defeat, you trudged away from the room and instead wandered into the office across the hall to rest on the sofa pressed against the mirroring wall.

Hours had passed by the time you found yourself once again standing just outside the bedroom. You knocked, but got no response. As your lips parted to let you speak, Alice’s voice interrupted. “Come in.” In an attempt to steel your spiked nerves, you sucked in a deep breath.

Hand trembling, you grasped at the handle of the door, twisting it and slowly pushing forward to reveal more and more of the bedroom, waiting for her to holler at you that she had changed her mind and wanted you gone.

Seated slouched over on the edge of the bed, Alice merely glanced over at you before her head dipped down to hide the shameful expression that contorted her face. Slowly, too afraid to make a wrong move and upset her, you shuffled to sit by her side. Still, she refused to meet your gaze. One moment passed, then two, and soon you had begun to bounce your leg and pick relentlessly at the hem of your shirt.

A frigid hand planted itself softly against your leg to still it. You peered up to find Alice finally looking back at you. Eventually, you sighed, letting your hand rest on top of hers. “Could I ask you something?” You asked faintly. A nod was your response.

“Do you truly believe I would ever betray you?”

She chuckled. “Honestly? With all I’ve put you through, I wouldn’t blame you. I’d hate you for it, but I know I’d do the same. I talk so much of keeping you safe, but I’ve put you through so much hell. All the experiments I’ve forced on you, all the punishments I’ve given you because you simply did as you pleased, every time I’ve put you down or hurt you… You don’t deserve any of it, and I truly am sorry, but you have to understand my side of this, too. You never fully know who you can trust down here, darling. You know I adore you, even though I have a horrible way of expressing it, but I’ve been living with this paranoia for so long. It’s hard to just ignore it. I hope you can find it in yourself to try and understand.

“On top of everything today, you were speaking to the two people down here who I tried to hunt down for years. Until recently, we had never been civil with one another. You changed that, but I know they still don’t enjoy my company. They don’t hide it well at all. I can’t say I blame them for that either.”

You felt a small spark of frustration grow at her words, blurting out what flooded your mind before you could stop yourself. “Alice, I know you’ve been through hell down here, too, but that gives you no right to torture me the way you do. You’re right: I don’t deserve any of the experiments you put me through, and I sure as hell don’t deserve the punishments that I get for being myself. And the shittiest part of all of this is that, even though you’re a horrible person, I still can’t bring myself to leave.” You laughed, tears welling up and blurring your vision, unable to bite back the feelings you had kept bottled up for so long.

“That’s so fucked up, isn’t it? That after how much shit you put me through, I still want you to like me. Some part of me believes you’d stop hurting me if I just bend over backwards to make you happy, that if I walk on eggshells long enough, you’ll see me as a human being. As a person–as an individual. Someone you can’t toy with and boss around. God, I hate this. I hate you, but the stupidest part of me loves you.

“I don’t want to feel this anymore. I want to be happy, and I know I sure as hell won’t feel that way if I stay here with you. I have to leave, whether you like it or not.” You stood then, ready for her to bolt up and scream at you that you needed to remember your place around her. Instead, she laughed, a deep bellow that slowly quieted down. Once more, she stared down at the floor beneath her. “I know. I saw this coming. You should probably leave now. The reality of this hasn’t kicked in for me yet, but once it does, I know I’ll only hurt you. Leave me, break me, and go live with Allison and Tom.”

You scoffed. There was no possible way she was still trying to guilt-trip you, was there? But you knew her better. She was absolutely trying to do so.

You weren’t going to fall for it any longer.

You stepped closer, leaning down to let your face rest dangerously close to her own.

“Rot in hell,” you snarled, matching the same tone she had always used when speaking down to you as though you were a mindless child.

Alice grinned and watched as you fled from the room in an instant. She sighed heavily. Already, the fury and possessiveness she had grown accustomed to began to bubble its way to the surface. Her blood lit ablaze throughout her veins, only being stifled by her nails digging painfully into her thigh and drawing blood.

In truth, she genuinely had seen this coming. All throughout the time you had shared, she knew what she was doing to you was horrendous, and she knew you’d find the courage to leave one day. There would always be a part of her that wanted to keep you chained by her side and selfishly save you for herself, but she had to disregard it for you.

As vile as what she had done, she loved you. Yet, just as she had done all her life, she had pushed the very thing keeping her alive away.

You were leaving, and this time you wouldn’t return.

She deserved to rot in hell, as you had put it.

You deserved to join others who would treat you the way you truly deserved.

You were leaving.

She would be alone all over again.

You were never coming home.

Far away, down the hall and past each room, the front door slammed shut.

Beautiful

[BATIM/BATDR] Alice Angel x Female Reader

Summary: Alice has a meltdown after catching a glimpse of her reflection, and you're there to comfort her.

Word Count: 2.09k Content Warnings: Mentions of insecurity Category: Slight Angst + Heavy Fluff || Oneshot

[A/N] #1: To make up for all the angst from last week, this one has heavy fluff instead. A very small amount of angst, but it's quickly resolved.

[A/N] #2: Thank you to everyone who sent in a request! I promise I'll try to get to them as soon as I can.

Enjoy!

Soft scribbling filled the silent space in the study, forming the words on Alice’s mind and printing them below the side of her palm against a thin sheet of paper. A small huff prompted by her exhaustion slipped past her tattered lips. As she finished writing out notes for her latest experiments, her free hand lifted far enough to rub at the one eye that still remained intact, which had fallen heavy with fatigue. Over the hours following the numerous tests she had carried out, Alice had shut herself in her study, curses spilling easily below her breath with each annotation of what had gone wrong.

It seemed as of lately that none of her experiments were going right. Even as she burdened herself with the task of figuring every detail out on her own, she still couldn’t understand what was causing the fault in her studies. Her mind had wandered here and there, the spark of want in her igniting the idea of asking you for help. Each time, however, she discarded the thought immediately. The stress was already taxing enough on her, and she didn’t want to share the weight of it all with the one person she cared about so deeply.

Because of her late nights in her study, Alice hardly ever had the time to be with you. The guilt ate away at her conscience constantly, but she knew that the moment she could understand the issues halting her progress, she’d be able to finally focus on you again. Even so, when she’d come to bed long after you had fallen asleep, she couldn’t prevent the pang of sorrow she felt, knowing you had likely stayed up late to wait for her.

Unfortunately, this only led to her spending more time away from you and trying to perfect her theories in her lab. In her mind, each Butcher Gang member that she had ripped apart and dissected was one step closer to being able to return her attention solely to you the way she craved. Every pulsating heart that writhed in her frigid hand was another markup in progress, and every piercing needle that let a concoction flow through the veins of one of the poor souls that had fallen prey to the Angel aided the approaching future of once again being by your side at every moment.

Another heavy sigh left her as she let her pencil fall back to the desk. Slowly, she leaned back into the chair to stretch with a yawn.

Surely a small break wouldn’t hurt. She knew you were in the kitchen preparing dinner, so it would do her good to at least wander out to give her mind a rest from the work piling up on her desk. You brought her peace, and at that moment, that was all she needed.

Granting herself another brief glance over her notes, she ultimately tucked them into a folder and slipped it into the lowest desk drawer, then finally rose to her feet. A small smile graced her lips as she made her way around the desk and toward the door. Her eye peered over at the rows of books lining her shelves, though her motions faltered and eventually stopped altogether when she caught a glimpse of herself in a small vanity mirror she had sworn she had covered.

Frozen in place, all she could do was stare through the reflection, grimacing at the ghastly sight of her torn mouth, gouged out eye, and the large mass erupting from the side of her skull. Instantly, tears welled up in her eye as wave after wave of insecurity crashed over her. Hours seemed to have passed, and she soon found herself curled up on the sofa with her knees tucked into her chest. She couldn’t recall moving there, though it wasn’t a pressing concern in her mind.

Trembling hands lifted from clutching at her shins to cradle her face as she unwillingly wept. Soon, her palms were coated with salty tears that began to trickle down her wrists and drip against her lap. Past the sound of her heart hammering against her ribs, she managed to make out the sound of footsteps nearing the door.

You strode toward Alice’s study, intending to let her know that dinner was almost ready and to make sure she was okay. As you grew closer, however, you could hear quiet sobs behind the door, instantly prompting your nerves to spike. You quickened your pace and gently knocked on the door to gain her attention. “Alice?” You uttered shakily. “Is everything alright? May I come in?” Before she had the chance to answer, you had already reached for the handle and twisted it, a soft push letting you enter and reveal the room. You paid no mind to the mountains of paperwork resting on her desk and instead turned your attention to the whimpering woman wavering on the sofa.

Within a moment, you had sat down next to her and pulled her against your side, instantly rubbing her shoulder in a soothing manner. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” She sputtered out a few words, none of which were discernible. You shushed her and let the tips of your fingers stroke through her jet black locks, ignoring the ink that stained your hand. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Just breathe for me, alright?”

There was no reply, but you watched and felt as she tried her best to suck in a deep breath, only to hiccup and cough instead. She attempted again, finally managing to breathe in all the way, albeit very shakily.

Softly, you gave her words of encouragement as she steadied her ragged breathing, which finally evened out after some time. She let out a sniffle and wiped at her nose and eye, her head turning away to avert her gaze from yours. Almost hurt by the action, you let the pads of your thumb and index finger gently take hold of her chin and turn her back to face you. “Hey,” you whispered, your hand then sliding up to carefully caress her face. With each featherlike stroke of your thumb against her cheek, her tensed form seemed to ease up more.

“Did something happen? Why were you crying, love?” Another grimace painted her lips as she glanced down with a worn out sigh. “Well, I…” She paused, seemingly unable to form the words. Your free hand softly clasped hers and gave a reassuring squeeze. The motion alone helped her visibly loosen up. “I was leaving the room to go see you and take a break, but I caught my–” She hiccuped as another round of tears began to form. “I caught my reflection,” she squeaked out as she shuffled back to hide her face once more.

Heart now aching, you frowned and peeked up at the shelf carrying the small mirror. She had been doing so well with her confidence. Her self-image seemed to be steady, and she had managed to check her complexion here and there without much issue. Seeing her in that moment, however, brought the entirety of the concern you had long forgotten rushing back.

“Alice, hun, you know you’re still beautiful.” She scoffed. “It’s easy to say that when you aren’t the one who has to live with half of her face torn apart,” she sneered loudly with a sense of venom beneath each syllable, finally able to bite back her hiccups and coughs. Even as she retorted with such fury, the regret instantly made itself known in her features. She shrunk further into herself.

This wasn’t what she had wanted. Not only had she been neglecting your wants and needs over the months, but she had also begun to start petty arguments that resulted in her losing her patience with you for things that weren’t your fault. She knew they weren’t your fault, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself in the heat of the moment. “I’m sorry.” She stared down into her lap and covered her face again. “I’m so sorry, darling, I promise I’m not meaning to be so blunt with you. Things have just been horrendous lately, and seeing my reflection like that? It just… “

Her trembling body stilled when your warm hand returned to her shoulder. “I know,” you whispered. “I’m not mad. I understand why you’ve been so stressed, and I know you’re going to lash out until that stress is gone.”

You scooted closer to her and placed a small peck to her cheekbone. “I love you, hun. You don’t need to apologize, okay?” She whimpered at your words and nodded, turning her body enough to let her head fall against your shoulder. “I love you, too.”

You smiled at her and tugged her closer, your arms wrapping around her torso to let you rub soothingly at her back. With each small sniffle that slipped from her, it almost felt as though she was repeatedly moving closer, and you wondered if she kept thinking she could get as close to you as physically possible somehow. “But can I tell you something?” You questioned at length.

All she could do in response was nod. “Well, it’s actually a few things, but it’s all part of a bigger picture.” At that, she leaned back enough to stare at you in pure confusion. “Bigger picture?” She echoed. You nodded.

“It’s kind of like a list on why I think you should love who you see in the mirror.” Her face flustered and she instantly returned her face to the crook of your neck to hide it. “Oh.”

“Hm, where to start? There’s so many things I love about you.

“Your cute little nose, your small beauty mark on your cheek, the beauty of your eye, especially when it lights up when you get excited over something.

“I love the softness of your lips when you kiss me or press a kiss to my head or cheek. I love your strong jawline I can easily bury my face into if I want to get your attention. I adore your horns and halo I can toy with when we’re cuddling in bed, and your hair I can brush out, even though it stains the brush with ink sometimes.”

She scoffed and playfully shoved your shoulder, earning a laugh from you before you continued.

“I love the way your eye softens when we’re staying up late at night together to talk about whatever comes to mind, and the way your lips curl into a smile when I talk about something I’m passionate about. I love how your nose scrunches up when you laugh or when you find something gross while we’re gathering supplies, and I absolutely love your voice. It’s so comforting to hear you talk, and I always immediately crash the moment you start singing to me at night. I love everything about you, Alice.”

A moment passed, and all you could hear was soft sniffling combined with the feeling of warm tears dripping against your shoulder. The tips of her fingers dug into your shirt as she trembled almost unnoticeably. Just as you parted your lips to speak, she leaned back and wiped at her eye.

“What about…” She motioned toward that tattered features on the left side of her face. “This?”

You grinned at her and cupped both sides of her face. With a small tug, you leaned her closer to yourself and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. When the two of you pulled away, you found her staring at you expectantly. “Honestly?” You started, earning a nod.

“I think it makes you look badass.”

She snorted in surprise and chuckled, teasingly pushing you back as she ran a hand down her face. “You are such a dork,” she finally mumbled between giggles. You grinned back at her again and leaned forward, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. “Yeah, but I’m your dork. And you know I’m right about you being badass, too.”

Even as she rolled her eyes, she couldn’t bite back the smirk that crossed her lips. Her hands slid up from their place against her lap and grasped lightly at your hips before reaching back further to partially wrap her arms around you. “Okay, okay, darling,” she whispered before pressing another gentle kiss to your lips. As your words set in, she could feel her confidence slowly rebuild itself. It would still be a while before she could look at herself again, but she knew you’d always be there for her regardless. “You’re right.”

Good Luck Charm

[Arcane] Jinx x Female Reader

Summary: Jinx has been told she's a mistake and a...well, a jinx her whole life, which is why it's such a surprise when you tell her she's your good luck charm.

Word Count: 3.09k Content Warnings: A small breakdown Category: Angst + Heavy fluff || Oneshot

[A/N]: Not proofread. Just wanted a quick break in between characters again. I couldn't stop myself from writing for this dork, especially after seeing the teaser for season two.

Enjoy!

 “Alrighty, toots, I think I’m gonna head to bed. You wanna come with, or you gonna stay up a bit longer?” You turned your head over to glance at Jinx, watching as she repeatedly turned her chair partially back and forth with her eyes fixed on you. Smiling warmly, you shrugged. “Well, I’m not tired just yet, and I wanted to finish this book,” you started, watching from the corner of your eye as she seemed to slump down at your words already. “But I can just keep reading in bed.”

Jinx stood and let out a small cheer, trotting over to you and gently taking ahold of your wrist to tug you toward the bedroom you often crashed in. Ever since you had grown close to the “loose cannon” of the undercity, things in your life had rapidly changed. It started off simple – you would spend far more time hanging out with her than anyone else. Then, as things started to develop between the two of you, you began staying the night almost every night with Jinx cuddled up against you as you slept. Even when she couldn’t sleep, you could feel her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she traced random patterns against your skin.

When Jinx had told Silco of your relationship, you feared the worst, already preparing to write your will or find a way to escape his wrath. Surprisingly, though, he was rather accepting. When you asked Jinx about it in private, she told you she believed it was because he had seen how happy she had been ever since you showed up. A few days later, her theory was confirmed when Silco had called you into his office to set rules about dealing with Jinx and her issues with trust.

He warned you that Jinx could get extremely clingy and would get overprotective of you, which you had already noticed she had begun to do, so you simply nodded. He continued to speak of things such as her hallucinations and wish to keep her past a secret. You agreed to all of the terms he had set to be with his daughter, unaware of the figure stationed above you on her usual platform. Her eyes were trained solely on you, legs swinging back and forth as she let herself rest on her stomach. With her head cradled in her palms, a wide grin made its way to her lips as you calmly agreed to take care of her.

It seemed, however, that she had done the opposite, meaning she seemed to take care of you more than the other way around. More often than not, if you were outside of her hideout, it would come across more as possessive than anything. She’d blurt out insults and impulsively pick fights with people who threatened or flirted with you.

Once they realized who they were dealing with, they backed off instantly. The few poor souls who decided to test their luck suddenly went missing, as well as Jinx for a short time, and then were never seen or heard from again. You had learned to come to terms with her reckless and apathetic behavior towards outsiders rather quickly.

“Trinket? Hello? You in there, or… did ya leave this planet?” You blinked, glancing back over at the blue-haired girl as she waved her hand in your face.

“Hm? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about what’s going on in my book. I’m near the end, so everything is getting chaotic.” She snickered and hooked her arm around your shoulders as she led you into the bedroom. “Ah, then you’ll have to let me borrow that book sometime. You know I love a bit of chaos. Or a lot of it.” You smiled at her and rolled your eyes, playfully bumping against her and earning another chuckle.

As she plopped down to sit in her spot on the bed, she watched you silently while you flipped your book back open and sat on the other side of the mattress. Once you had leaned back against the pillows, it didn’t take long before you felt a head land gently on your shoulder. A quick look down let you know Jinx had already bundled up under the covers and shuffled over to cuddle against you for the night. With weary eyes, she peered down at the pages of your book, briefly skimming over the short excerpt of the story she could see.

Soon after, she let out a yawn and tucked her head further against your neck. “G’night, sweets. Love you.” You beamed down at her and pressed a small kiss to the top of her head. “Love you too, hun. Sleep well.”

By the time you had finally woken back up the next day, Jinx had already been up for a few hours. She hadn’t left the bed, but she was tracing patterns and words into your arms and back. When you shifted and yawned, she smiled and perked up rather quickly, sitting up in her spot and peeking down at you. Once you had rolled over to look her in the eye, her grin only grew. “Mornin’, toots. Did you sleep well?” You nodded and sat up, yawning again.

“Yeah, what about you?” She shrugged and toyed with the hem of your sleeve. “Eh, I slept okay. I got kinda restless after a while and woke up, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

You nodded at her words. After a while of you trying to keep your eyes open, you felt Jinx lean against you and tug you close. “I don’t wanna leave to go work on those stupid experiments,” she confessed with a frown. “I just want to stay in here with you. I wish I could come down with you to your job instead.” With a small smirk, you raised a brow and glared over at her. “Oh? And why’s that?” She smirked back at you and slipped her hand down to lace your fingers with her own. “‘Cause I could keep you safe. I could beat up all the pervs that keep trying to get their nasty paws on you.”

A gentle chuckle escaped you as you pulled her further into your side. “Yeah, that’s what makes you my good luck charm. Nothing seems to go wrong for me when you’re near.” You had expected another teasing remark of some kind, though nothing came. Instead, you were greeted with silence. After a while of not receiving any kind of acknowledgment of what you had said, you looked down at Jinx. You blinked in surprise when you saw her gazing right back up at you, eyes filled with a concoction of emotions that couldn’t seem to even out.

Her brows furrowed together. One moment, she seemed confused, and the next, she seemed upset or in disbelief. Similarly to her eyes, her eyebrows couldn’t focus on which emotion to express.

“Uh, hun? You okay?”

“What’d you call me?”

“What?”

“What did you call me?”

You continued to stare at her, unsure of what you were supposed to say. “I called you ‘hun.’” She shook her head and lifted it from your shoulder to be eye level with you. “No, before that. What did you call me before that?” It took a moment for you to recall what you had said a mere moment ago. The confusion of the new situation had made it hard to wrack your memory. “‘My good luck charm?’”

She was silent for a few minutes, which felt like hours with how thick the tension had grown.

“You think I’m lucky? That I’m a lucky charm to you? Do you really think that?”

An uneasy smile and chuckle left your lips. “Well, yeah, of course I do. I mean, I always love being around you, and because of all you do for me, everything seems to go right when you’re around. You really are like a being of good luck to me.”

She seemed troubled at that, which certainly was not what you had expected. Tears welled up in her eyes and prompted them to grow glossy, though she fought them back. “But – no, I’m not lucky. I’m, I mean, my name is “Jinx” for goodness sake! I’m not good. I’m a horrible person. I mess everything up. How could you possibly believe that I’m a good luck charm? I don’t understand.” You felt your nerves spike, recognizing that she was at the beginning stages of another episode. “Woah, hey,” you whispered, placing a hand softly on her shoulder in an attempt to ground her back into reality before she could fly too far away from the present.

“No, I’m not lucky, I’m a Jinx. I’m the opposite of lucky – I’m unlucky. I didn’t – no, please, I’m not. No, shut up! She’s not trying to – stop it already!” Unintentionally, you leaned back, making sure to keep your hand in place. It seemed like Mylo had taken over again, throwing insult after insult at her and flooding her mind with false realities.

“Love, I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” She glared at you, eyes fixed on you in front of her, though she seemed to be staring so far away. Her eyes flickered as though she were reading some sort of script, incoherent mumbles rolling off her tongue. “No, you shouldn’t be… you didn’t – shut up! You shouldn’t be the one apologizing!”

You remained silent, waiting for the right time to chime in as Mylo continued to torment her. Although you had no idea what he was telling her, you could get a general idea based on the few words you could make out in her sputtering.

It took forever, but she ultimately calmed down, panting for breath and clutching handfuls of hair. When she came back to her senses, she found you holding both of her hands to prevent her from tearing her strands out again. Sometime in between her episode and her break into reality, she had begun copying your breathing the way you had helped her practice each time she had gone through it in the past. At length, she sighed and let her eyes bore down into her lap.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered.

Softly, you cupped her face in your hands and lifted her head up to look her in the eye. She shifted her focus away from you, unable to meet your gaze. “It’s okay, I promise. I’m not mad.” The feeling of the pads of your thumbs grazing across her cheeks to wipe her tears away brought her a feeling of relief. Her tense shoulders drooped down after she sighed once again.

Moments passed. She finally forced herself to meet your eye. “Did you really mean it?” She whispered with a broken tone. “That you think I’m lucky?” You nodded with a weak grin. Again, tears pricked her eyes, though she leaned forward and buried her face in your shoulder before they could fall. Her arms lifted from her sides, hands grasping at the back of your shirt as she sucked in multiple shaky breaths.

“I’ve always thought you were lucky.”

Weeks had passed since you had started referring to Jinx as your good luck charm, then it shifted into months, and your list of nicknames began to grow. It became a common occurrence for her to hear you call her “lucky charm,” “charmer,” or even “bluebird.” It seemed as though you were shifting to just focus on positive nicknames instead of entirely pinpointing each play on the words “good luck charm,” though she wasn’t complaining.

She certainly wasn’t used to all of the compliments and the nice names. After all, she had been referred to as a jinx, a screwup, and essentially a burden her entire life up until she met Silco. It would take a while for her to accept what you said as truth, but she had started to come around to the loving nicknames. After a while, she even began to look forward to what you would call her for the day. She had started rubbing off on you in terms of nicknames as well. “Trinket” and “sweets” began to creep into your vocabulary, and she adored the way it sounded rolling off your tongue when it was directed at her.

Soon enough, the positivity had worn down part of her insecurity, so long as she was around you. You made her feel safe and secure, which wasn’t something she was used to either. Often, she could be seen practically bouncing down the halls with a cheesy grin plastered on her face, even if she had just left Silco’s office. Silco and Sevika had definitely taken notice of her sudden shift, and although Sevika didn’t understand why she was so much livelier than normal, Silco found himself smiling more often at the sight of Jinx when she’d suddenly remember the nickname you had chosen for her for the day.

When she’d sit up top on her makeshift platform in Silco’s office, she had to be given reminders in between meetings to settle down. Her legs would swing over the edge and kick at the air rhythmically, and her hands would pat randomly at the wooden planks.

She loved the nicknames, to put it bluntly. She absolutely adored them. Since that night, not once had you referred to her as Jinx. Somehow, even though everyone else called her by her known name, the mere mention of what you were calling her for the day gave her a boost of confidence. Whenever a mission would go wrong, she’d come straight to you to talk about it, then listen with a soft smile as you told her repeatedly how things would be okay and how she’s still your lucky charm.

With how suddenly all the flurry of names were thrown at her, she struggled to pick a favorite. Even so, her energy and overall glee grew daily, even beginning to show in her work. Weapons were crafted more cautiously, produced quicker, and had more expressive markings made by her oil crayons. Sevika didn’t enjoy the increase in enthusiasm, Silco certainly appreciated everything.

He still didn’t fully trust you, though it was growing increasingly obvious to him that you weren’t a threat, and in his eyes, you were there for a reason. You made Jinx happy, and that was all he really wanted in the end. As far as he was concerned, you had his blessing. He knew things could change, but after seeing how you treated her during every emotion she expressed, he figured that was a slim possibility.

As he sat in his office one day, he sighed and ran a hand down his face. The door had closed only a moment ago, and still he could hear the tapping and swaying above him. Leaning back in his chair, he gazed up at Jinx sitting on her small platform, biting back a small smile when he saw her grinning gleefully. “Jinx,” he called out just loud enough for her to hear. She finally turned her attention to him curiously. “Hm?”

“You know you need to be quiet when I have people in here. It’s very distracting with you shuffling around up there.” Jinx chuckled nervously. “Sorry.” He finally allowed himself to smile, catching Sevika off guard from her spot on the sofa. “Why don’t you spend the rest of the day with [Y/N]? You’ve earned a break, both of you.”

Instantly, Jinx dropped from her spot above and landed on Silco’s desk. She crouched down and looked him in the eye. “Really? You’re okay with that?” He nodded. “So long as you two don’t cause any major problems,” he added. She beamed brightly at his words and her eyes lit up. “Thanks!” Within an instant, she turned on her heel and hopped off the desk, already out the door and skipping down the hall to find you.

Silco grinned softly with a small shake of his head. He leaned forward again and motioned for Sevika to shut the door as he picked up a few papers to straighten them.

When Sevika returned to her spot on the sofa, she huffed out a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. She bit her tongue with what she wanted to say, but a look of warning from Silco made her waver. “What are you breathing so heavily for?” She waited, trying to rephrase her words before speaking them, but ultimately gave up.

“It’s nothing against either of you. I’ve just never seen her this energetic before, and I’ve seen her get energetic in the past.” To her relief, Silco hummed and smiled. “Yes, she’s certainly been in a better mood as of lately. It’s refreshing, in a way.”

Sevika waited momentarily, unsure of what to say. “You think that girl is the reason she’s been so cheery?” “I know she is. Her name is [Y/N]. She’s known Jinx for a couple of years now, and the two of them have grown quite close in such a short amount of time. I don’t entirely approve of that girl, but Jinx has taken a liking to her, and I’d be a fool to take that away from her.”

Even with her disliking of  the blue-haired girl, Sevika couldn’t help but grin at his words. “Yeah, it is nice to see she’s stable with someone. I was worried she’d drive someone away. [Y/N], was it? She’s patient, and that’s definitely good for someone like Jinx. To be honest, I’m glad they met.”

“Yes, I am as well. I suppose I should include a few of the names [Y/N] has been using to refer to Jinx as when speaking to her. It seems to put her in a better mood, as you’ve said, and I’ve noticed an improvement in her crafts and missions.” A chuckle slipped from Sevika before she could stop it. “Yeah, she hasn’t screwed up another task in a while.”

“Pardon?”

Sevika swallowed and cleared her throat. “Sorry, sir. It was nothing.”

All the while, as they chatted away about her improvement, Jinx trailed down the hallway and all the way to her hideout. When she saw you there, sitting comfortably by her desk in the extra chair she had pulled into the room to have you nearby while she worked, she couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her lips from ear to ear. As she grew closer, she wondered what you would refer to her as that day.

First Defense

[Five Nights at Freddy's] Vanessa Shelly x Female Reader

Summary: Upon seeing you get hurt, even though you've never officially met, Vanessa gets protective.

Word Count: 3.33k Content Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of substance abuse Category: Angst + Heavy Fluff || Oneshot

[A/N]: Sorry if the pacing seems really fast. I wrote this really quick before my meds knocked me out for the night. Might seem kinda odd at the end, considering I didn't proofread any of this.

Enjoy!

The sound of a loud ring echoed throughout the bustling atmosphere of the room, signaling that someone’s order had been finished. “Order for Vanessa S.?” As the words flew through the air, a tall blonde stood from her seat at the table closest to the door. She sauntered over to the counter and plucked her drink from the top of it, quickly thanking the barista before she backtracked to her seat.

As she took her spot at the table again and sipped lazily at her freshly-brewed coffee, her eyes repeatedly found themselves wandering toward the entrance, expectantly waiting for the familiar sight of someone she had kept her eye on for a while. You had been a regular at the cafe for years, though she didn’t realize it until a month or two prior to the time she was living in at that moment as she waited for you. You had no idea who she was, but she certainly knew who you were. It wasn’t her intention to learn everything she could about you the moment she laid eyes on you, but she wouldn’t deny that each new fact thrown her way by the staff you had grown close to gave her another spark of interest in who you truly were.

Within the short few months after she had first seen you, she too became a regular at the cafe, only with the intent to hopefully gather the courage to finally talk to you properly one day. She had your schedule memorized almost immediately. Monday through Thursday, you came in relatively early, clearly getting a boost of energy for the morning shift of wherever you worked. Fridays, you would wait to come in until after lunch, though long before dinner.

Finally, on weekends, you’d come in during the afternoon. It seemed you got the weekends off, so you often came to the cafe to chat away with the baristas and waiters who were visibly very fond of you. She could understand, however, why they seemed to lighten up at the mere mention of your name. Your presence alone, even when you were across the room from her, was calming and infectious.

She’d chuckle with you, not even knowing what joke you had cracked.

She’d frown when you’d grimace at the mention of something she couldn’t hear.

She’d grow upset the moment you showed any sign of discomfort or anger.

Already, even though the two of you had never fully met, she adored you. In her mind, she couldn’t picture anyone who would want to dim the only light in the cramped room of the crumbling cafe. Her brain had battled for days on how to finally greet you face-to-face without coming across as creepy. She couldn’t introduce herself as someone who’d been memorizing your schedule in regards to the small coffee shop, and she knew that. It would sound like she was stalking you, and that was the last thing she wanted. Yes, she knew it was a bit odd that she only came to the cafe in hopes of seeing you, but it was all she had until she could build up her courage.

You’d be there any moment, and she continued to watch the door at the front, practically like a hawk as her eyes would only flicker away from it to find her cup on the table again for a quick sip.

Soon, you came in, much to her relief. She had been prepping what to say in advance since she woke up that morning. She just hoped she could get it across the way she wanted. She watched as you shared a few jokes almost instantly with the few waiters you passed by as you made your way to the counter. Again, the sight of your smile had her own lips perking up into a grin. Her eyes trailed after you, then remained on you once you stood at the counter to place your order.

Although she knew which times you’d come in each day, she had no idea what you usually ordered. Even on the rare days where you’d sit relatively close to her, she couldn’t make out what the label on your cup said. It wasn’t important, she knew, but it was another part of you that seemed to interest her.

You chatted away gleefully with the cashier and barista. Only a few moments prior, they had been grumbling and feigning looks of what most people would call joy. The moment you made it there and struck up a conversation, however, their moods shifted drastically. They beamed brightly in your direction and laughed at whatever new pun you had given them.

Vanessa wished she was close enough to hear your words, but seeing you chuckle at your own joke had her snickering softly to herself. You seemed like such a kind soul, and she wanted to meet you so badly.

She managed to tear her eyes away briefly when the bell above the door rang. A tall, heavy, middle-aged man walked through and made his way to the spot behind you in line, a scowl forming once he spotted you there. He cleared his throat a while after Vanessa had assumed you finished your order – considering you had gotten your receipt – and you turned to him. You waved your hands in front of you and gave an apologetic look as you stepped out of the way, mumbling a soft “sorry” that she could only make out by glancing at your lips.

He rolled his eyes at you and continued to glare momentarily as he shuffled forward and pulled out his wallet. As he placed his own order, it was clear the cashier and barista were uncomfortable once again. They glanced over at you and watched as you moved to lean against the wall right by the counter. You weren’t in the way, but you were still able to talk with them as they worked on the two new orders.

Once the man was handed his receipt, he turned and stared at you with a growing grimace. You seemed to pay no mind to him, too caught up in your conversation with the barista behind the counter. When she and the cashier headed back to do their respective jobs as new customers filed in, the stranger trudged your way and seemed to bristle when you finally acknowledged him.

Vanessa, at first, couldn’t hear what he began to rant about at you, though she could see the increasing fear and discomfort growing more evident on your face. Fairly shortly, however, she was able to make out more and more of his words as he began to holler at you. “You need to get out of the way! You’re blocking the path and being inconsiderate about the other people around, you disrespectful brat!” Everyone’s heads seemed to turn toward him, confused at the sudden loud volume.

Vanessa’s eyes trained themselves on him carefully, nails digging into her palms as she readied herself to step in. “Sir,” you chirped back shakily, “I’m not in the way, I’m just leaning against the wall. There’s plenty of room.” This only seemed to infuriate him more. “You are in the way! Are you calling me a fucking liar? You shouldn’t be in here! I should drag your ass out of here myself, you bitch,” he growled as he stepped closer to you. His frame practically towered above your own as he glared down at you, doing his best to intimidate you.

As he continued to screech insult after insult at you, the barista and cashier started to come around from behind the counter to intervene. Vanessa knew they wouldn’t be able to physically do anything, which is why she leaned her head to the side and sent out a request for security on her radio, all while keeping her focus on you.

She could tell something wasn’t right. It was clear you had no idea who he was, but you hadn’t done anything wrong regardless. From what she had seen in the past, it seemed like he was under the influence of something, and it only sparked her nerves more when he physically shoved you back against the wall, then moved back to roll up his sleeves.

Once more, Vanessa sent in another request for backup, her words more urgent. Her eyes flitted down for only a second to push her drink aside, then finally narrowed in back on you.

That’s when she witnessed the way the back of his hand struck itself harshly against your jaw, the sickening sound of what sounded like a crack echoing through the room as you were sent spiraling toward the floor. The room fell silent, and the staff made their way closer. As she saw you hit the ground, fury and an unfamiliar need to protect you flooded Vanessa’s body instantly, pumping every vein full of adrenaline and forcing her to act purely on instinct.

With a movement so quick it almost sent her chair to the ground, she stood from her spot at the table and stormed over to him before the staff members could, clutching his shoulder and whipping him around to meet her eye. He hardly had a chance to register her there before she took hold of his collar with a white-knuckled grip. Almost too easily, she hoisted him backward and pinned him to the wall, the back of his head slamming against the sheetrock and momentarily disorienting him.

She stepped closer to him, ignoring the fact he nearly towered over her. Her face now merely inches from his own, she scowled up at him, her words dripping with venom laced in each syllable.

"Lay your hands on her again, and I'll rip your fucking throat out, you hear me?"

He sputtered for a moment, still regaining his bearings. When he made out her figure and spotted her uniform and badge, he bristled and launched forward, shoving her off of him. Immediately, he booked his way toward the door, though the security that Vanessa had called in as backup blocked off his path. As he attempted to shove past them, he was tackled to the floor and pinned there as the lead officer cuffed him.

Once she was sure the situation was handled, Vanessa kneeled down beside you and took your hand, helping you sit up. She was quick to check over the skin she could see for any bruising or cuts. “Are you alright?” She finally asked, wishing so badly that they didn’t have to be the first words she ever presented to you. Still in shock, you only gave a nod as a response for a moment. Your eyes found hers, then glanced over at the scene by the door, then fell back to her own. “What the hell just happened?” A sigh slipped past her lips before she helped you stand.

“The guy being wrestled over there just hit you. Really hard, too. Does anything hurt? Like, more than it should after a hit like that?” Almost as if you couldn’t grasp the situation properly, your hand lifted to your face. You winced when the tips of your fingers grazed over your skin, sending a jolt of alarm through Vanessa. “Shit, you okay?” You nodded finally and cradled your cheek in your hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. It just really stings.”

She huffed out a sigh again and nodded before turning her attention back to the officers at the entrance, who barely managed to handcuff the stranger and began to try to drag him out the door. With a quick motion to run her hand down her face, Vanessa gently took hold of your free arm and tugged you along to the rear exit. She kept you at the side of the building until the man was driven away to the police station, then she led you to the front of the cafe.

“Do you want to press charges? I’ve got to get a statement from you either way.” You grew nervous at this, which only gave her a worse feeling. “I don’t know,” you murmured. “What if he finds out and comes after me again?”

She frowned at your words, both hands coming to clasp one of yours in between. Softly, her hands gave you a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need to worry about that. I’ll be with you there every step of the way. I promise he won’t hurt you, okay?”

Still, you seemed to hesitate. She tilted her head after a moment, noticing the way your eyes glossed over as you stared into the distance. Just as she parted her lips to speak again, you nodded and gave an answer. “Okay, yeah, I want to press charges.”

Her lips cracked into a smile at your words. “Okay, then let’s get you down to the precinct. I’ll give you a ride.”

Nearly a full year after the stranger had struck you in the cafe, the charges were finally filed, and the assailant had been thrown behind bars for multiple reasons that were finally brought to light during the case. Keeping true to her word, Vanessa stood by your side throughout the entire process, offering support when the man’s legal team grew aggressive with their defense.

To the surprise of no one, Vanessa discovered almost immediately that the man had been heavily under the influence of both alcohol and overuse of prescription drugs. It was a wonder to the entire team as to how he even made it to the cafe without causing a wreck or getting into a fight on the way.

Both accounts of substance abuse were added to his charges, as well as multiple felonies he had already committed prior to his arrest. He had evaded the police for over two years, which is why they were so pleased to finally see him thrown into a cell. Even after the case was solved, Vanessa still made sure to make frequent stops at your house to check in and make sure you were still okay.

She’d swing by in between shifts and sit down for an hour or so, listening to you talk about whatever you were worried about, then she’d offer any advice or support she had in return. Some days, when you felt more at ease, the two of you would talk about the people you had made friends with at the cafe, and she was relieved to know they were also there as your own support system.

Soon enough, she’d visit just to spend time together, grateful that you seemed comfortable with her by then. After months, she offered to take you out for coffee or tea, though she ensured that she would bring you somewhere completely different from where the assault had taken place.

You accepted, thankfully. After her last shift of the week, she picked you up in her personal car instead of the cop car you had sat in a year before to give your statement. It was a short drive to the new cafe. Once parked, she got out before you and strode to the opposite side to open your door, taking your hand and helping you step out. She locked the door as she led you inside of the small shop.

The two of you sat down in a corner booth after ordering. When Vanessa’s name was called, she had you wait in your seat as she got both hers and your drink from the counter. She managed to strike up a conversation as you both sipped away at your separate cups.

“So, I have a couple of things I have to confess,” she started. Curiously, you perked your head up further at her, prompting her to give a small smile. “For starters, I was only in the coffee shop that day because I was actually planning to finally talk to you. It might sound weird, but I had been going there for a few weeks and watching you. I promise I didn’t mean anything weird by it, I just couldn’t bring myself to actually talk to you properly for a while. I wanted to watch how you were with other people to see how I should approach you.

“Then, just when I finally got the courage to greet you, that guy walked in, and… well, you know what happened, obviously. And as odd as it sounds, I’m actually glad you agreed to press charges. Mainly because that asshole deserved it, but also because I got to know you better. Not necessarily at the beginning, since I know that would be really gross to focus on, but after he was thrown in jail and you said it was okay to stop by for visits. I really liked getting to know you.”

Shakily, her hand reached over and rested on top of yours. “And I really hope I can continue to get to know you. I, uh, wanted to ask something, but I want you to know I completely understand if you’re too weirded out by me asking.”

You had started smiling at some point during her small speech, and when you nodded for her to continue, she felt slightly more at ease.

“I know it was a really weird way that we met, but I really have liked you for a long time now. I guess the reason I’m worried about asking this is because it seems like this has been my whole intention the entire time I was helping you press charges, and that’s a disgusting thing that a lot of people unfortunately do. I don’t want it to come across like that at all, so let me know if it does, okay?”

Again, you only gave a nod, though your grin never faltered.

She sucked in a quick breath and nodded as well.

“I just wanted to know… Well, I’m sure you already know what I’m going to ask. Will you go out with me? When you’re ready, of course. I know you’re still kind of iffy about things after what happened. I’ll take you somewhere else, if you are ready, since a coffee shop is kind of an ironic place for a first date. I mean, not that we’d go out immediately since I said when you’re ready, but if you are ready, then I can –”

She froze when you laughed. Your free hand moved over to pat her own lightly. Her gaze flickered down at your hand before meeting your eye again.

“‘Nessa, you’ve gotta breathe. My answer is yes. I don’t think it’s too early to ask, alright? None of what you’ve said comes across as creepy to me, and I’d absolutely love for our first date to be anywhere at all. Even a coffee shop. It helps me remember that one bad event somewhere doesn’t mean it’ll happen at every place that’s the same. I trust you.”

Her smile finally returned, a soft chuckle leaving her lips as she nodded. “Sorry, I've just been really worried this would go wrong because of me.” She rubbed the back of her neck for a moment before she let both hands take hold of yours to squeeze them. “I’m glad you said yes, though, even if I sounded scatterbrained when I asked.”

“Eh, you did, but it’s just part of your charm.”

“Yeah, the charm that only you see. I don’t tend to get this way with other people.”

“Oh? Guess that makes me lucky then.”

She laughed again. With ease, she brought one of your hands up to her lips, pressing a featherlike kiss to your knuckles. When she lowered your hand to rest on the table again, her thumb gently grazed over the back of it.

“Yeah, guess it does.”

You tilted your head and thought for a moment, your smirk growing. With a glance down, you let one hand slip out to squeeze hers instead.

“And you promise to protect me the way you did back then?”

Her smile widened.

“Absolutely, I’ll kick anyone’s ass if they try to hurt you.”

Stay

[Five Nights at Freddy's] Vanessa Shelly x Female Reader

Summary: When you threaten to leave after the relationship gets rocky, Vanessa begs you to stay.

Word Count: 2.79k Content Warnings: An argument, fear of abandonment Category: Heavy Angst + Slight Fluff || Oneshot / Preference

[A/N]: None of my stories are fully proofread, so apologies for any typos or weird pacing. I'll be answering requests very soon!

Enjoy!

From across the room, you were able to hear the sound of the TV remote slamming down against the coffee table resting a few feet in front of the sofa. When you turned to find the source of the noise, already grimacing, you were met with Vanessa glaring back at you, her eyes narrowed as she stood. A quick breath forced through your lips as you mentally readied yourself for yet another argument you knew you couldn’t prevent. Slowly, Vanessa seemed to skulk forward, though she quickened her pace briefly until she stood before you.

Her arm flew forward to allow her finger to plunge against your chest in accusation, her other hand balled up tightly into a fist at her side to stifle her trembling. All you could do was stare up at her with your lips pressed tightly shut. By then, you knew you weren’t going to win the fight. Ever since her father had shown up again and began to make her night shifts hell, her temper had only shortened further with each hour spent in his presence. Deep down, you knew she didn’t mean to take it out on you. She knew none of it was your fault. Still, it didn’t seem to cause her fury to falter.

She had only gotten home from another shift a few moments prior, and upon spotting you curled up on the couch, she joined you and clicked on the TV, unaware of the way your eyes drooped with fatigue and how you tugged the blanket tightly against yourself when she sat down. You shuffled further against the armrest and groaned at the sudden noise now blaring throughout the room, combined with the brightness of the screen that seemed to burn past your eyelids, disturbing the sleep you so desperately craved.

Confused at your discomfort, Vanessa scooted toward you and softly placed her hand against your leg. With a gentle squeeze to gain your attention, she asked if you were alright. When greeted with grumbles as a response, she could already feel her irritation beginning to bubble up beneath her skin, though she did her best to bite it back.

After a few moments of her prodding for a proper answer, you finally sat up and threw the blanket down on the floor as you stood. You glanced down at her, hardly giving her any attention before shifting around the coffee table to head through the kitchen and into the bedroom. Just as your steps had crossed the threshold, you had heard the remote clatter against the wooden surface you had swerved around, then only turned for a moment before she was in front of you.

She continued to seethe and scowl at you as you simply stayed still and silent. Trying to get a rise out of you, the palm of her hand lightly pushed you back, daring you to snap back at her. Even as she continued to bark insults at you, you managed to steady your mind enough to keep a calm tone. She didn’t mean to start the fight, you knew that, but it didn’t make it any less painful. It would end the same way as always, you were sure. Once she got it out of her system, she would apologize profusely while begging for your forgiveness, only to end up tugging you to the couch or bed to huddle up together and fall asleep.

A silent way to make amends just long enough to forget about it all.

Though you never really forgot. Each screaming match managed to seep into your brain more and more, and each one only brought you closer to tears every time she raised her voice. While she was at work, you were often left sobbing to yourself in bed, recalling the way she’d stare at you and throw accusations at your face. You were never entirely sure if you were in the right or wrong, but you knew it wasn’t right either way.

You didn’t deserve it. No matter how difficult times were for her, you didn’t deserve the constant verbal and emotional torment. When she would leave for her shift, anyone would find you sitting with your nose buried into your laptop once you finished crying. You had started trying to find a couples counselor who would hopefully help bring things together again. Once you found one, you started to think of ways to bring it up to Vanessa, worried she would only start another screaming match again.

As your gaze bored up at her, eyes glazed over with the tears you refused to let fall, it was evident she was only growing more furious when she got no reaction out of you. It seemed she hadn’t even registered the way you shook, or the way your breaths had begun to stutter, or how your fingers had curled into your shirt to clutch at the fabric.

She only continued her barrage of obscene terms directed solely toward you.

You parted your lips once her rant of how you were only bringing her more grief had begun to fizzle out, ready to try and deescalate what had been inevitable the moment she walked through the front door and tossed down her coat. Before the words could leave you, she growled out a few curses before pushing you backward once more.

“God, I wish I had never even met you,” she snarled from merely an inch away from your face.

It only took a second for her features to contort with horror. It was as if she had only just realized how cruel her words had been, finally taking notice of your pained expression as the tears finally sprung free. Your bottom lip shivered as you bit back the sobs. Your head hung heavy in defeat, salty tears trickling down your face and dripping onto the floorboards beneath you while your sorrow grew.

A soft murmur of your name brought you back to your senses after several agonizingly quiet minutes passed. You couldn’t meet her eye, even as she cupped your face and tilted your head upward. With a sniffle, you lifted your hand up far enough to brush hers away, and slowly, you stumbled backward into the kitchen. Resting there by the pantry against the wall, you slipped your keys from their hook and pocketed them.

Upon seeing you striding urgently toward the front door, Vanessa rushed by your side and took hold of your arm. In an attempt to steady her shaky hands, her nails dug into your skin. As gently as she could, she tugged you back toward her, a silent plea to stop.

“Please, don’t go,” she whimpered, a broken cry erupting from her throat. “Please, I don’t want you to leave. I’m so sorry – I’ll do anything you want to make it up to you, I promise. I just can’t lose you. Not like this.” Only for a brief second, you forced yourself to look up from the floor and glare at her. You were able to see the tears streaming down her face, brows pinched tightly together while she squinted, desperately trying to adjust to her blurry vision.

“Stay,” she whispered much softer.

Unable to form the right words, you simply stared at her until you managed to wriggle free from her grasp. Wordlessly, you flipped the locks bolted into the door and tugged it open. It took everything in you not to slam it on your way out.

It flew open again as you unlocked your car and pulled it open to slip inside. Vanessa raced down the steps of the porch to your side, her hand clasping the side of the door to prevent you from shutting it on her. Yet again, pleas poured from her lips, promises of making things right rolling off her tongue in despair. You stayed silent, then motioned for her to move. Once she did, you clutched the handle of the door, then yanked it shut.

When you lowered your eyes to shove the keys into ignition and flick the engine to life, part of you couldn’t help but wonder how things would be if you hadn’t met her the way she claimed she wanted. Your foot released the brake, and the car began to ease backward out of the driveway. Against your will, your eyes tore away from the wheel up at her. She stood there in the now empty plot of the concrete you had drifted away from, arms crossed to let her hands clench her sleeves between her fingers, gaze still trained on you as she watched you pull away.

Your heart throbbed at the sight, and you could feel the tears welling up again.

You backed into the street and drove away.

Vanessa wobbled in place as she watched the shape of your car disappear in the distance, unable to make out anything clearly as her tears continued to distort her view of the world. She waited, praying you’d turn the car around and hear her out. None of this was what she had wanted. She hadn’t meant to pick another fight, things had just been hectic. Still, there was no reason for her to make her stress your problem, she knew, yet she caused everything anyway.

An hour must’ve passed by the time she realized you wouldn’t be returning anytime soon. Shaky legs carried her back up the steps and into the house. Trudging, she managed to land on the couch before she could fully collapse. Her hands dug into the cushions as she pushed herself into the corner you had been in just before she decided to strike up another war of words.

With the little strength she still had, her arm dropped from the cushions to grab your blanket from the floor and lifted it to wrap around herself. Cool leather met her temple as she leaned against the back of the sofa and shuffled to cover her face with the soft fabric of your blanket, the ability to pick up the smell of your favorite shampoo and perfume on it bringing a very small sense of comfort. Drowsiness began to wash over her senses, nearly stopping her from looking over at the remote she had slammed onto the table, noticing how the force alone had broken the back open.

At the sight of it, her mind wandered back to the fear in your eyes when she had stormed over to you right after. Her lips pulled themselves into a grimace at the thought. To no avail, she wiped at her eyes to dry them, only for them to grow wet again. She should’ve stopped herself. You had been so tired, and all you wanted to do was rest on the couch while you waited for her to get home. All day, she had looked forward to making it home and asking about your day, excited to know you’d ask her right away how her own had been.

However, it seemed she just had to ruin the only time of bliss she would have in between shifts. You were pure comfort to her, and she adored every little thing about you. Her favorite time of the day was when she got to come home to you and spend the rest of the day or night relaxing by your side.

As she sat there on that couch, she couldn’t bite back the whimpers that escaped her when the realization began to dawn on her that she might never get to feel that spark of joy again.

She wouldn’t have you there to greet her at the door and help her strip away her uniform and slip into something more comfortable.

You wouldn’t be there in the kitchen making one of your favorite desserts, or standing there for her to sneak up behind and hug you against her front as she peppered your skin with kisses and asked about your day.

There would be no more late-night cuddle-sessions in bed with you excitedly chattering away about the latest show you had convinced her to watch with you, nor would there be any more mornings where she got to wake up to the sight of you still by her side.

More realizations of what she would lose rushed through her mind and blocked out every other problem she had. She wept and buried her face further into the blanket draped around her shoulders.

At length, she could feel her head pounding and her eyes drooping heavily with exhaustion. All too soon, she found she was too tired to cry, and she let her eyes flutter shut. She wasn’t sure when it happened, but ultimately, she dozed off.

The sound of keys clattering outside followed by the lock on the door clicking woke her up. Her head lifted from her arms, allowing her to blearily look around to regain her bearings. The doorknob rattled, bringing her attention to it and helping her understand the noise. Quickly, she tossed the blanket aside and stood from her spot on the sofa, eyes trained expectantly on the entrance while her heart hammered painfully against her ribs.

Wave after wave of relief crashed over her once she made out your frame in the doorway, meeting your eye as you stepped in and shut the door silently behind you. Afraid of startling you or stepping out of bounds, Vanessa remained planted in her spot. When you stepped closer to her and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, she followed suit and sat back where she had slept shortly before. You kept your eyes on the floorboards, and she mirrored you. Her mind screamed at her to say something – anything at all – but no words formed on her tongue.

As her eyes tore away from the teardrops she left on the wood ground, her heart leapt in her chest when she noticed you staring back at her.

When her name sprung from your lips so softly, she couldn’t stop herself from whimpering with another choked cry. She cleared her throat immediately after and nodded to prove you had her attention. She feared she’d only start sobbing if she tried to speak at that moment.

“Look,” you started quietly. “I don’t want to leave you, okay? But I also don’t want to have to live with the constant fear that you and I are going to keep fighting every single day about the smallest things. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me so badly. I’m trying so hard to be here for you, Vanessa, but you’ve been making it so hard lately. It feels like you don’t love me anymore. All we do is fight.”

Her heart throbbed and shattered at the mention of you no longer feeling you were valued by her. It was so far from the truth. She admired and adored you so deeply, and she could never find any reason to genuinely hate you. You were everything to her, and it broke her heart to hear you confess your worry that she had fallen out of love with you. She could never fall out of love with you.

Cautiously, she watched you for any sign of discomfort as she slid close enough to cup your hand into hers. “I promise I’ll do anything to show you how much I care. I love you so much, I really do. No matter what it takes, I’ll make things right. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Your eyes flickered across her face in search of a lie, though a sigh slipped out when you found none, a curt nod of the head as your response. “All I can think of to do right now is to try counseling.” Already, you could see the hesitation building up in her. “We don’t have to go into detail about what happened with your dad, but I need you to start working things out with me. Otherwise, I can’t picture myself doing this anymore.”

A long pause greeted the end of your words.

“You promise we don’t have to talk too much about him?”

A nod.

“I promise.”

Reassuringly, her warm hands squeezed yours and she shuffled closer to tug you into her arms. “I’ll do it. I want this to work out – I love you – I can’t lose you. If you’re sure counseling would be a good first step, then I’ll do it. We’ll work through this together, okay?” She leaned back to look at you and gauge your reaction. Her tensed shoulders drooped from the solace sent her way upon seeing your lips finally perk up into a small smile. Her own curved into a mirrored grin when you nodded.

“Okay.”

Outcasted Safeguard

[Shadows of Rose] Rosemary Winters x Female Reader

Summary: Rose is generally isolated outside of training, but because of this, it's hard for her to be reasonable about standing up for the one person she's grown attached to.

Word Count: 2.24k Content Warnings: Language (?), a small argument Category: Angst + Fluff || One-shot

[A/N]: None.

Enjoy!

“Why don’t you just fuck off?” “Rose, for god’s sake!” You watched with growing frustration as your friend scoffed at your girlfriend, Rose, before spinning on their heel. “Hey, wait,” you called out, trying desperately to get them to stop. “No, fuck this. We can talk when your freak of a girlfriend isn’t breathing down your neck,” they barked back, lifting their middle finger high in your direction before storming out through the small entrance of the library and into the parking lot.

Sorrow mixed with fury contorted your features, the lines across your skin creasing further upon noticing the way people around you murmured and glanced between you and Rose. Grumbling under your breath, you huffed and took off toward the other exit. Just as quickly, Rose followed behind, calling out your name in confusion. “Where are you going?” She questioned once you made it out onto the sidewalk.

“Anywhere but here. You really know how to cause a scene.” The words instantly seeped into her mind and nipped at her insecurity. “I wasn’t trying to cause a scene,” she replied, “I just didn’t like the way they were speaking to you. You don’t deserve that.”

All you were able to do was glare at her in that moment, unaware of how her heart throbbed under the weight of your piercing gaze. Upon making it to your car, you fought the urge to leave her behind and head home alone, watching through the corner of your eye as she timidly climbed into the passenger seat and swiped her palms against her jeans to try and dry the molded sweat forming on her palms.

Wordlessly, your keys found their way into ignition, then allowed you to start the engine to begin the painfully silent journey home.

You could see in your peripheral vision as she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. Her fingers moved to fidget with the ring given to her by her father, and a pang of guilt found itself eating away at your conscience. She had done the same thing in the past. After a while, you had managed to ask her why she always touched her ring when she was under pressure, and she explained to you that she tries her hardest to speak to her father from the other side and ask for advice on how to carry on.

Knowing that, you were already feeling horrible for causing her to worry. Then, however, you remembered why you were so upset. Ever since you had grown close to Rose – and ultimately became her girlfriend – she had only become more and more protective. It was to the point where you couldn’t even have a civil conversation with anyone without her glaring daggers at them.

Most of the time, you weren’t even able to defend yourself. She insisted on doing it for you, though she never made sure you were okay with that, and that’s what annoyed you the most. You were more than capable of standing up for yourself. You had worked so hard to build your confidence and do so on your own, but she seemed to never pay any mind to it. In the past, you had quietly asked her to let you handle it, but she always managed to convince you to let her “defend you,” as she put it.

At first it was fine. She only did it with strangers when she could tell they were annoying you. As time went on, however, her aggression began to trickle into normal conversations with your friends. The subject didn’t even have to be something combative for her to step in and get defensive. The most trivial things could be deemed as threatening to her, and that always led to her pushing those friends away from you. You knew that wasn’t her intention, but it was aggravating nonetheless.

It felt like hours had passed by the time you pulled into the lot of your shared apartment with Rose, the entrances and exits guarded heavily by the same BSAA guards that had practically raised your girlfriend with the intention for her to be a bio-weapon. After the car was checked, you were allowed to park and head inside. Rose trailed after you up the stairs and watched as you wrestled the keys from your pocket to unlock the door leading into the apartment.

You stepped inside, held the door open for her, and shut and locked it once she slipped past you. Softly, she whispered your name, confused from your silence and trying to get you to say anything at all.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, her hand lifting to rest on your arm. When you shrugged her touch off, her frown deepened. Acting as though you hadn’t heard her, you dropped your bag down by the door and hardly managed to force yourself to put the keys away properly before trudging into the bedroom and sitting on your side of the bed. You made sure to face away from the door when you shifted to lie down on your side, though you could hear when she came in and stopped in the doorway.

Something had struck a chord with her, and you knew that whatever it was was because of you. Her feet carried her forward until she sat on her own part of the mattress. Barely a minute passed before you felt her hand once again squeezing your arm to gain your attention. “Was it something I said?” You scoffed and shuffled away from her touch.

Her voice broke when she spoke again, then shook after she cleared her throat. “Was it what they said to you? I told them to stop, but they didn’t want to–”

“Dammit, Rose, it wasn’t what they said, it was because of you!” You hollered, bolting upright and turning to look her in the eye. She flinched back at your sudden tone and instinctively slid her hand back up to toy with her ring. “Why did you do that?” You continued, standing up from your spot. “Do what?” The timidness had returned to her tone. She truly didn’t understand why you were so upset with her.

You huffed out a strained laugh and ran your hands down your face. “Seriously? God, okay, fine. Why did you get involved in something that had nothing to do with you? Why did you tell them to fuck off when all they had done was barely raise their voice? Why do you always do that? Why can’t you ever just let me deal with my problems on my own?”

It was her turn to stand. She stared at you, almost in a challenging manner. “You mean why do I always try to protect you? Hm, I don’t know, maybe because I have to! You weren’t doing anything about it. They were treating you like shit, and you don’t deserve that, so I was trying to fix it for you!” Again, you laughed. “Fix it? All you did was make it worse! They weren’t treating me like shit at all, and you would know that if you actually bothered to get the full story before deciding to try and step in.”

“I don’t care about whatever happened beforehand,” she retorted. “Clearly,” you grumbled. She rolled her eyes and continued. “I’m not just going to stand by and watch you get picked on!” The familiar feeling of your fingernails digging into your scalp returned as a burning sensation greeted your eyes. When you glanced back up at Rose again, she was blurry. “Oh my god, I wasn’t getting picked on! Why can’t you get that through your head? Do you not trust me? Do you really not think I’m capable of taking care of myself either way? Am I seriously that pathetic in your eyes?”

You cursed to yourself as the tears fell. “Dammit,” you blurted out, wiping furiously at your eyes and sniffling. Briefly, you looked up at Rose, and you paused. A realization had visibly dawned on her when she saw you cry, and she tensed at whatever thought was clouding her focus. Your head dropped down as you stared silently at the carpeted ground beneath your feet. Once more, her hand found itself planted on your shoulder. This time you didn’t shrug it off, and as she took notice of this, her arms instantly wrapped themselves around you to pull you close. “Don’t cry,” she mumbled, squeezing you reassuringly. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

A hiccup unwillingly slipped past your lips before you urgently tugged her further against you. “Of course I don’t think you’re pathetic,” she continued. “I know you can take care of yourself. I’ve never doubted that, and I never will. I promise I trust you.”

Just as you had done countless times before, you found yourself melting into her touch and crying onto her shoulder. The tips of her fingers grazed over the back of your neck soothingly, and ultimately you managed to even your breaths and will the tears to stop. She always knew how to calm you down, even if she had been the reason for your crying.

When she was sure you were okay, she leaned back and cupped your face in her hands. “Can you please talk to me? Tell me what’s upsetting you. I can’t help if I don’t understand how I’m hurting you.”

A weak nod was your only response at first. “I just,” you croaked out while she brushed another tear away with the pad of her thumb. “I feel so pitiful when you don’t let me stand up for myself. It’s like you don’t want me to do things on my own, and it’s so suffocating all of the time. I just wish you would let me deal with my own problems. I don’t always need someone to come swoop in and save me. I can take care of myself.

“I wish you would leave me alone sometimes.”

The thick silence returned between the two of you. Your mind had barely begun to settle when she let out a small “oh.”

You thought finally getting everything off your chest would make you feel better, but the growing tension only threw that same weight of guilt back onto your shoulders. She stepped away from you and pocketed her hands. Although her eyes were partially covered by her cap and were concentrated on a random pattern on the ground in front of her, you could still see the glossiness forming in them.

“So,” she started. “Is that it for us then? Do I need to leave for good? I-I can if you want me to.”

“No! No, god no,” you replied, pulling her back into an embrace and squeezing her as tightly against yourself as you could. “I don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave me.”

A small turn of the head let you press a featherlike kiss to her cheek. “I just need you to let me handle my own issues alone sometimes, okay? I promise you I’ll ask you right away if I need help with anything. I just need to be able to be independent sometimes.”

Rose hummed, her fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt. “I know that,” she murmured. “But I just want to make sure you’re safe. I know you already know how to take care of yourself, but I just… I’ve never been anywhere near as close to others as I am to you, and I’m so scared of losing you. You’re all I have left.” She chuckled. “I guess I’m just worried you’re going to realize how much of a freak I am if someone who doesn’t like me starts to hate you too. And, I mean, let’s face it: none of your friends like me.

“Makes sense, to be fair. That’s why I’ve always been the outcast, you know? People don’t like me. I never really learned how relationships work because of it, so I’m really sorry if I haven’t been the girlfriend you deserve. I’ve only ever been around Chris and his team, and we’re always just picking fights with strangers who threaten us, so I guess that’s where I get it from.”

She stepped back to look you in the eye again. “I don’t know if it’s working, but I’m trying really hard to get this right. I just want to make you happy. I’m sorry that I can’t do that all the time. I’m glad you told me what was wrong.”

Swiftly, she wiped her tears from her skin before sucking in a deep breath and taking your hands into her own. “If it really would make you happy, then I’m willing to start taking a step back so you can handle your problems on your own.”  Relief, for the first time that evening, flooded through your senses at her words. A grin broke out onto your lips before you squeezed her hand. “Thank you,” you whispered. She nodded and mirrored your smile. In an instant, you were pulled into yet another hug.

“Of course.”

Her lips briefly met your shoulder in a chaste kiss before her chin landed to rest delicately against it. Nails traced random patterns against your skin, and you knew she was trying to distract her mind until she was able to calm her racing heart. After a moment, she snickered.

“Just make sure you let me know when I need to kick some ass for you, okay?”

hey! hope you’re doing well🫶🏻

i was wondering if you can write more fics with Rose Winters x fem reader, because i really liked the most recent fic with her. 💕

thank you! have a good day! 🩷

Admission

[Shadows of Rose] Rosemary Winters x Female Reader

Summary: Rose has grown to like you, though she keeps her feelings hidden, convinced that you wouldn't feel the same way. Her worries are relieved when you sit her down for a talk.

Word Count: 3.17k Content Warnings: Fear of rejection Category: Soft Angst + Heavy Fluff || One-shot

[A/N]: Sorry for taking so long to post again. I've been trying to figure stuff out with my meds, and it's been messy. Thank you so much for requesting, hun! I hope you like what I managed to come up with!

[A/N] #2: Sorry if the formatting for the images and GIF above are weird. I kept trying to edit it properly on my phone and my laptop, but it kept changing every time I saved the post.

Enjoy!

Blended between the gentle rustle of leaves and the soulful songs of birds chirping high above, hearty barks of laughter sprung to life. Trailing forward on the graveled path encircling the small scenic park, you and Rose snickered with each shared inside joke passed alongside light, playful pushes, uncaring of the eyes trained on you in curiosity and slight annoyance.

As she spoke about another joyous memory of hers, you couldn’t help but take notice of the features adorning the heavenly smile painted across Rose’s lips. Although her eyes only periodically met yours as she recalled and retold the story in her mind, the way they crinkled from the amusement – also evident in her tone – was prominent. Similarly, upon chuckling in response to a particularly comical moment, the bridge of her nose scrunched up, and you watched as her hands flew down to rest on her gut to prevent herself from doubling over as another wave of laughter erupted from her throat.

God, she was beautiful.

You’d known that since the moment you met her years ago during one of her outdoor training exercises. To this day you were unsure as to why she was suddenly allowed to train away from the BSAA grounds, though you would forever be grateful to the soldiers stationed there who let her be free for a day and enjoy the park between training sessions.

You remembered watching her in pure awe then, just as you continued to do now. Everything about her amazed you.

On that particular day when you had first met, it was inspiring to witness how effortlessly she seemed to move during practice, and even more breathtaking to see how intrigued she was by the nature that surrounded her when she was allowed a break. The way her cheesy grin grew as she watched two birds dancing up in the branches, how the brightness of her blue eyes filled with curiosity when they finally landed on you, how she eagerly bounced your way with her arm outstretched – each little characteristic she presented to you swept you off your feet.

“Hi, I’m Rose,” she chirped once you managed to snap out of your awestruck trance and take her hand into your own. When you timidly offered up your name, she nodded and repeated it. “Pretty name,” she noted out loud to herself. She hadn’t seemed to notice the way your body tensed, nor the way your face grew warm and red at her words. Instead, she asked what you were doing there, and more importantly why you’d been watching her.

A moment passed where you came forward with no explanation, desperately trying to find a good enough excuse that wouldn’t make you come across as odd to this new, bubbly girl. Finally, you forced yourself to admit that you thought what she had been doing looked cool. “Oh, really?” She asked, her brows raised. “Why don’t you join me then? It’ll be fun!”

At first you tried to deny her suggestion. All it took to win you over, however, was a small, drawn-out “please,” paired with the pleading eyes you would later learn to be her favorite way to convince you to do what she wanted. Ultimately, you agreed, and she led you to the small, secluded section of the park she had been using to train all day. Just as she had begun to explain one of the easier maneuvers, excited to have someone to finally talk to, a gruff, towering man approached, halting her small lesson with a question of his own.

“Who is this, Rose?”

She turned to him, all of a sudden trembling and waving her hands about as she did her best to defend herself to this strange man. “She’s just a friend,” was how she started, and his head cocked itself to the side, eyes trained heavily on you with some kind of emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. “I figured we could do a few of the training moves together for fun.” The man sighed, shoulders drooping with fatigue and rough hand raising to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Rose, we’ve been over this.”

“I know, but I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ease up this once. Chris, I’ve been working so hard, just like you want me to, but I really want to take a break every once in a while. Why can’t I just relax for one day? Isn’t that why you brought me out here this time?”

You remembered standing there, hands practically tied together in an attempt to ease the harsh trembling they carried. The soft breeze that day only forced you to take notice of the frigid beads of sweat forming on the back of your neck, which you not-so-subtly swiped at as you listened to them speak. The nerves throughout your body spiked when the man, whose name you barely managed to pick up on as Chris, glared over at you once more.

Wordlessly, his gaze flickered between you and Rose. You could feel yourself melting beneath his crushing eyes, your own focus landing on the soft tufts of vibrantly green grass beneath your shoes.

“Just this once,” he said at length, prompting you to snap your head up to face him again. You weren’t sure who he was, but you could tell how important his word was to Rose, who had once again grown giddy at his permission. “Thank you, Chris,” she cheered as she tugged him sideways into a small hug.

She pulled you to a nearby spot and continued explaining the specific move she had tried to talk about earlier. Chris kept a watchful eye on the two of you, though you could tell it was more on you than her. After some time, you didn’t even notice him anymore, too engulfed in the game you and Rose had made up and started playing. By the time soft blues and purples began to paint the sky, you saw how he seemed to be more at ease around you, even offering you a kind smile before you parted ways with your new friend.

Now, as you trotted through the park with that same friend, it was all too easy to listen to her poke fun at a few failed training experiments she had with Chris over the years. Even with her teasing words, it was clear how much the man meant to her. “He’s like a second father to me,” she told you once.

As she finished her thought and turned to you, you blinked, unsure of whether or not she had asked you something. You had been too focused on how the palette of the setting sun casted itself beautifully over the blonde locks tucked underneath her cap and her pale skin, the hues alone making her look ethereal. You fidgeted with your phone in your pocket for a moment, wanting to capture her in that moment.

“Is there something on my face?” She questioned suddenly, subconsciously wiping her mouth as your silence briefly continued. “Oh, no,” you replied after finally coming back to your senses. “Sorry, I just kind of zoned out for a minute.” She hummed and nodded, a small smile toying effortlessly at the corners of her lips.

For a split second, you found yourself gawking at her again. Before she could catch you a second time, however, you coerced yourself to instead listen to the crunching of the gravel beneath your feet as they carried you forward, your eyes dropping to watch them do so. The cool wind that grazed over your skin was welcome in comparison to the burning sensation building up in your face, and you were unable to bite back a small huff of relief when it cooled and dried the droplets of sweat forming on your brow. Curiously, Rose glanced your way at the sound, though she looked ahead again when you said nothing more.

“So,” she started after walking a few more paces, “any ideas on what you want to do after high school? I mean, I know you told me about the college you want to go to and what you want to major in, but any plans for anything else?”

“Anything else?” You echoed. “What do you mean?”

Just as yours had done only a moment prior, Rose’s face seemed to burn scarlet red, though she quickly averted her eyes and turned her head to hide it. Forming a fist and bringing it up to cover her mouth, she cleared her throat and nodded. “Yeah, like…” She shrugged, though it seemed more like she was trying to get something off her shoulders than being casual about it. “I don’t know. Maybe start dating someone, or… do something else?” She scoffed. “I don’t know.” It hurt your heart to see her seem so anxious about something, but her tone and timidness brought a sense of endearment as well.

“Oh,” you blurted, mirroring her actions and turning away to hide the betrayal of your reddening features. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it awkward,” she murmured with a defeated sigh.

You desperately wanted to tell her she didn’t make anything awkward, wanted her to know there was nothing to feel guilty about, but it would be a blatant lie to say things weren’t uncomfortable. Instead, all you could offer up was a whispered “it’s okay.”

As the world around you quietened and settled to make way for the rising moon, your mind raced and scrambled for something more to say. “Well,” you squeaked out eventually. “I don’t know about dating anyone, but it would be nice to find a steady job so college doesn’t completely kick my ass.” A quiet chuckle slipped from her lips, though she seemed disappointed in your answer, her eyebrows creasing as though she had been expecting something else. Hoping for something else.

“Yeah,” was her only reply.

When your eyes finally wandered over to look at her, she seemed further away, her eyes slightly dull and that smile gone from her face entirely. Upon noticing this shift in her demeanor, you found yourself determined to cheer her up, eyes flickering around the area almost frantically for an escape from this tense atmosphere you had unintentionally built.

A few paces ahead was a bench, clear of other people and free from any potential prying eyes. As you crossed through the grass, Rose watched you with a hint of confusion, quickly trailing behind and ultimately joining you on the bench. Before any other thoughts could form, one thought in particular made itself known to you, one that had you crumbling slightly from fear.

It seemed the short-lived discussion of dating seemed to be the cause of her deflated charisma. Maybe bringing it up again in a different light would spark that gleam in her eyes again.

While your hands fiddled restlessly with the hem of your shirt, Rose looked around silently at the empty park, the tree behind the bench nearly drowning the both of you in total darkness as the sun continued to fall beneath the horizon. It took some time before she noticed your shuffling, though her face was quick to contort with concern when she did. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just,” a quick clearing of your throat was made as an attempt to conceal the way your voice shook and cracked. “Can I be honest with you about something?” She nodded. “Of course.” “It has to do with what we were talking about earlier. About dating someone?” At your words, she seemed to perk up, a strange concoction of emotions flooding behind her gaze.

Even with the darkening shadows dimming any clarity given by her features, she made it evident that she had taken a sudden interest in what you had to say. She was eager.

You heard the rustling of her sleeves as her arms lurched forward toward you, only to falter and return to her sides, and could still make out the silhouette and the curve of her face when she winced at her own actions. You paid no mind to it, knowing that what you were wanting to say would probably bring you more grief than what she felt.

“I do actually like someone,” you mumbled, shying away from her gaze when it returned to you. “But will you promise me you won’t freak out if I tell you who it is?”

As if the incident from before had been replayed, she physically deflated at your words all over again.

“Uh,” she whispered, looking down unsurely.

“Yeah, sure. I promise.”

Her tone made you hesitate for a moment. If she was this upset just by you mentioning you had feelings for someone, how would she react to you admitting who it was? Before you could lose the nerve, you forced yourself to speak. “Well, she’s special to me. Ever since I met her, she’s done nothing but make me happy, and I feel like I can actually be myself around her. I feel… safe and secure with her, and I’ve honestly been picturing myself with her in the future.”

Each passing word seemed to crush Rose more and more, though you continued with this seemingly brutal torture anyway.

“She’s beautiful, and funny, and smart, and strong, and talented, and I didn’t realize how important she is to me until recently. I want to tell her how I feel and see if she feels the same, but I need you to be honest with me. Do you think she’d feel the same way?”

Bitterly, she shrugged and shifted her hands to toy with her fingers. “Depends,” she responded bluntly. “Who is it?”

“It’s you, Rose.”

For an agonizingly silent moment, all she could do was stare down at her hands, and you wondered to yourself if she had even heard you at all. Just as you parted your lips to repeat yourself, her head lifted and turned to you. The pale lighting from the slowly rising moon caressed her face, allowing you to see the starstruck expression that riddled her features. Shakily, she lifted her finger to point at herself. “Me?” She asked in disbelief, a scarlet red hue dusting across her cheeks.

When you nodded, it only took half a second before that gleaming smile you adored more than life itself broke out across her lips. “Oh,” she blurted, shrinking into herself a bit while her chipped nails tapped at the backs of her knuckles, her grin never fleeing.

Her eyes, although you couldn’t see them clearly in the little light provided, flickered down for a moment in thought before returning to your own gaze. “You’ve been picturing a future together with me?” You hummed and nodded, soft prickles bubbling up on the back of your neck as your mind tried to convince you of every possible way she could reject you then. The thumping of your heart skipped with fear when she laughed, and your head dipped down to hide your face.

“I never thought you’d actually feel the same way,” she confessed, hands writhing against one another. The moment the words left her lips, you found yourself glancing back up at her, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock. “You like me too?” Another soft chuckle. “Yeah, of course I do. I honestly thought I was horrible at hiding it, but apparently not.”

The corners of her lips perked up into a sly smirk. “Or maybe you’re just a little too dense for it.” Playfully, you smacked the side of her arm, which prompted another joyful laugh that you could never get enough of. Slowly, her hand slid over to cover yours and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “But in all seriousness, I really do like you. I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while now, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I really didn’t think you would feel the same way.”

Tilting your head to the side, you gave a look of confusion. “What? Why wouldn’t I like you? You’re only, like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

She tucked her hair back out of her face before offering a small shrug as a response. Your question seemed to bring her a feeling of discomfort, and although you weren’t sure why, you were quick to try and think of a way to cheer her up again. Before you were able to speak, however, she answered you properly.

“Well, I mean… to be fair, I haven’t always exactly been liked. Before I met you, I had never actually fallen in love with anyone. Mainly because I’ve never been close to anyone before, but also because you’re the only person I actually feel safe with. I feel like I can be myself around you – like I finally mean something. You make me feel like I’m normal in all the best ways. Chris is nice, but he and the others have only raised me to be a bioweapon for them, and they don’t hide the fact that that’s how they see me. You, though… You make me feel human. You make me feel like I’m a real person who has her own purpose – her own life and future.

“And if I’m being honest? As corny as this is going to sound, I don’t want to live in any future for myself if you’re not in it. I was worried that if I confessed how I felt to you, you’d think I was weird or gross and wouldn’t want to be around me anymore. That’s why I kept trying to hide how I feel. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Each passing word only caused your smile to grow. As she spoke, you flipped your hand around in hers, allowing you to finally lace your fingers with hers. When she fell silent again, you gave her hand a small squeeze, similar to how she had done to you shortly before. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it anymore. You know I feel the same, and you know I want to have a future with you.”

Slowly, she rose to her feet, then turned and helped you stand to look her in the eye. Even with the blackening shadows, you could still see the smitten gleam in her eyes, paired with the seemingly permanent smile on her lips. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she whispered.

“So what does that make us?” You stepped forward, arms flying out to encircle her and pull her flush against your body, prompting a small yelp to sound from her. As quickly as you had reached for her, she all but melted into your touch and held you just as tightly in return. “Well, I’d like to be your girlfriend,” you replied. “But only if you feel the same.”

Her shoulders shook slightly against you as she laughed, her fingernails digging in lightly to your shirt as she nodded. “Of course I feel the same, you dork. I’d love nothing more than to be able to call you mine.”