Spencer Reid X Fem!readr - Tumblr Posts

To Hold You Close (It's All I Need)

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Prompt - ‘All's well that ends well to end up with you.’

It had been a long few days and Spencer was glad to be flying back home. The cases were always hardest when children were involved and the brutalness of this case made for a somber flight home. Spencer beat himself up for most of the flight back, if only he had pieced together the information faster…

“It’s not your fault, you know that don’t you?” Derek asked, pulling Spencer out of his head.

Spencer didn’t reply for a long moment but Derek didn’t push, he could see Spencer was mulling over the question.

“I read those journals, Morgan, I read each page and somehow missed the most vital clue that led us to that cabin. I should have picked up on it days ago.” Spencer told him, causing Derek to sigh.

“Spenc, we all read that part of the journal and anyone would have missed it. It wasn’t written for anyone but the unsub, you can’t beat yourself up over this, man. Those kids were gone long before we got there.”

“Elliot wasn’t.” Spencer replied blankly.

“Listen to me, kid, even if you picked up on the location on day one that kid, he still would’ve died. Brown was too far gone and he would’ve killed that kid before any of us had a chance to shoot him. This was not your fault. I need you to hear that.” Derek told him, leaning forward in his seat as he spoke.

Spencer knew that what Derek was saying was true, the man was having one of the worst psychotic breaks the team had seen for a long time. Killing the boys was the only agenda and he wouldn’t have let himself be taken down without making sure Elliot was dead too.

“Yeah,” Spencer sighed, “I hear you, it’s just hard sometimes.”

“Trust me, kid, I know.” Derek agreed. There was always going to be those cases that haunted you more so than others, this one happened to be Spencer’s. “You did good today.”

From there the conversation turned lighter, Derek trying to keep Spencer from getting too lost in his thoughts and it wasn’t long before the jet had landed and everyone made their way upstairs to get started on the paperwork.

-

“Anyone up for drinks?” Emily said as everyone was getting ready to leave, it was well into night time by now and all Spencer wanted to do was go home.

“Count me in.” Derek said as he swung his jacket over his shoulder. Everyone else confirmed they could use a drink after this case.

“Reid, you coming?” Rossi asked, frowning in concern as Spencer shook his head no.

“No thanks, I think I’m just going to head home for the night but you guys have fun.” He told them. He missed the looks of concern shot across the group as they entered the elevator.

“Reid, a word before you leave.” Hotch said, gesturing for everyone else to go ahead as he walked Spencer to his car. “How are you feeling? I know that case was tough.”

“I’m fine,” Spencer said though it didn’t sound too convincing considering the look Hotch gave him, “I know there was nothing that could have stopped Brown from killing the boy but a part of me just keeps wondering, you know, what if I hadn’t missed it? Would he still be alive?”

“We’ve dealt with a lot of cases, a lot of people suffering from psychotic breaks and from my experience I honestly don’t believe the outcome to this case would have been any different even if the circumstances changed. I think Brown was too overwhelmed by his own past and his anger and I think he would have killed that boy even if we found him earlier.” Spencer nodded along as he listened to Hotch and like with Derek, he knew that what was being said was most likely true but still couldn’t shake the what if’s.

“I know, sir, logically I know that but…” Here Spencer paused, not entirely sure how to put into words how he felt but ultimately he didn’t have to because Hotch rested his hand on Spencer’s shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze.

“I know.” Hotch said in understanding. “Are you sure you don’t want to come tonight, it might help.”

“No thank you.” Spencer told him.

“What about Y/N? Maybe you could go and see her, she gave you a key to her apartment, didn’t she?” Hotch asked but he remembered the conversation vividly as Spencer showed them the key with slight confusion.

“You don’t think she’d mind me showing up now?” Spencer asked, Hotch taking note of how Spencer visibly brightened.

-

You had been dating Spencer for eleven months now, the two of you meeting by chance one day at a bookstore. It was a complete cliche, Spencer had bumped into you causing you to drop your books and your drink. Spencer insisted on buying you a new drink and upon seeing your books, he couldn’t help but strike up a conversation about them when he recognised them as some of his favourites.

The two of you had stayed in the cafe for hours, the conversation starting with books and then moving onto hobbies, then your jobs and before either of you realised it hours had passed. With flushed cheeks and a shy exchange the two of you left with each other's phone number and a promise to meet again soon.

From there the rest was history.

You had to admit it was hard at the beginning dating somebody who worked for the FBI, a new state every week, not knowing if the next phone call was going to be someone informing you something had happened to Spencer but eventually it became a little less daunting.

-

A few months into the relationship you were introduced to Spencer’s friends. You had met JJ first, immediately getting on with the woman who you seemed to click with straight away. The two of you spoke regularly and even hung out alone together.

From there you had met Penelope and Emily and then Derek. They all took great pleasure in teasing Spencer but also made sure you were included, each getting to know you and you them.

That only left Hotch and Rossi.

For some reason Spencer was nervous to introduce you to Hotch though he wouldn’t ever admit it. He spoke with you one night about how he wanted to introduce the two of you but wasn’t sure how to and you suggested that you could meet Spencer for lunch at work and he immediately agreed.

When you walked in the others were all focused on their work, each typing away or sorting through the stacks of files scattered around. Hotch was closest to you and looked up as you entered the room hesitantly. You’d never been here before and you were more nervous than you thought you’d be.

“Can I help you?” He asked, looking at the badge that identified you as a visitor.

“Um, hi, I’m here for Spencer?” You said, cursing yourself for how nervous you sounded.

“And you are?” The man asked but before you could answer you heard Spencer calling your name. You relaxed as you turned to see him walking over to you.

You watched as he looked from the man to you before clearing his throat.

“Um, Hotch this is Y/F/N Y/L/N my girlfriend.” He introduced you and you couldn’t help but smile at how flustered he was. “Y/N, this is Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner.”

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” You said, shaking the hand he held out to you.

“Please call me Aaron. It’s nice to meet you too. I wasn’t aware Spencer had a girlfriend.” Hotch said, watching as Spencer flushed even more.

“It’s only been a few months.” You explained to him, causing the man to nod.

The three of you continued your conversation before you were interrupted by JJ.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we have a case. Four dead bodies have turned up so far with another reported missing two hours ago, if the unsub follows the same pattern we have eight hours before the missing woman shows up dead and it’s a two hour flight so we have to leave now.” JJ explained as she handed files out to everybody.

You watched as Spencer looked down at the file before looking back at you apologetically. Everyone had already begun moving, grabbing their belongings.

“I’m so sorry.” He said, feeling a warmth in his chest as you just smiled at him.

“Go catch the bad guy.”

You watched Spencer grab his bag and the team and you entered the elevator. It was silent, everyone’s thoughts on the case at hand but you were more focused on Spencer as he linked your fingers together, squeezing your hand softly as he did.

As the team waited for a car to be brought up front, Spencer turned to you.

“I really am sorry.” He said again but you had just shook your head.

“I promise it’s fine, just...just come home safe.” You told him, biting your lip as you looked at the file in his hand.

Spencer immediately pulled you into a tight embrace and you wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him just as tightly.

“Spenc,” Morgan said, pulling Spencer's attention away from you and to the car the others were now piling into.

Spencer nodded before cupping your cheek and pulling you into a soft kiss.

“I’ll see you soon.” He whispered as he pulled away.

“I’ll be counting down the days.” You told him and with that he climbed into the car and closed the door.

“We’ll make sure he’s safe.” Somebody said, causing you to jump slightly. A man you hadn’t met stood next to the passenger door, looking at you with a smile. “I’m David Rossi by the way.” He said, leaning forward to shake your hand.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N and thank you.” You said with a shaky smile.

He nodded at you, shooting you a comforting smile before he was in the car and it was driving away.

-

“She gave you a key didn’t she?” Hotch said, a ghost of a smile on his lips as Spencer nodded thoughtfully.

“Thank you, Hotch.” Spencer said, smiling at Hotch who just squeezed the younger man's arm once more before pulling away.

“Have a good night, Reid.”

“You too.” Spencer smiled and it didn’t take him long to climb into the car and begin his drive.

-

It was just past two when Spencer arrived at your apartment. He knew you’d be asleep so tried to be as silent as possible as he slid the key into the lock. This wasn’t the first time he’d used the key but it was the first time he hadn’t checked with you beforehand.

As he expected the apartment was completely dark and so he took his time making his way to your bedroom, not wanting to trip on anything and wake you up.

He hadn’t had a chance to speak to you today and there had only been time for quick texts during this case, time being of the essence when it came to missing children. He had missed you more than he could say.

The two of you hadn’t said ‘I love you’ to each other yet but Spencer had known for a long time now that he loved you, you were it for him. He couldn’t imagine anyone else he would rather spend his life with.

Spencer gently pushed your door open, wincing as it creaked slightly but thankfully you didn’t stir. He made fast work of changing his clothes, he swore you had more of his clothes in your apartment than were at his own.

It wasn’t long before he was crawling into bed with you, the tiredness hitting him all at once as the blanket wrapped around him. Looking at you though, so beautiful even as you slept, he felt his heart swell. Even after all the bad he’d seen, even after this case you managed to make him feel better.

The stress lessened as he took you in his arms, holding you close. He smiled as you cuddled further into him, your hand clenching the shirt he wore.

Spencer leaned down and kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment or two before he pulled away.

“I love you so much.” He couldn’t help but confess into the dark, his voice a whisper, so quiet that despite the closeness you didn’t stir but it felt good to say it out loud.

It wasn’t long before Spencer fell asleep, you in his arms, feeling better than he had for days.

ICEBOUND DEVOTION

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader || WC: 1.8k

SUMMARY: a case involving a couple of hockey players makes Spencer doubt if you deserve better.

WARNINGS: established relationship, typical criminal minds level violence, mild angst, talks of blood and gore

A/N: i’ve been on a criminal minds kick lately, especially Spencer sooo this came to mind especially with it being hockey season very soon! Hope y’all enjoy! This is my first work on tumblr and I’m pretty proud of it! Graphic divider is from @firefly-graphics <3

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“Good morning my beautiful people!” The cheery voice of Penelope Garcia rang out throughout the conference room. “I hope my presence brought you some comfort because this one’s a real doozy.” She grimaced, taking a breath before displaying the BAU’s latest case on the screen.

“Twenty-two-year-old Bryce Carter from Detroit, Michigan, was found dead in the men’s locker room by one of his fellow hockey teammates. Detroit police said that poor Bryce Carter was bludgeoned to death by his own hockey skate and that his hockey stick was lodged into both of his legs.” She closed her eyes in utter disbelief as the words left her mouth.

“Bludgeoned to death by a skate and having his hockey stick lodged into his legs, that’s clear overkill,” Derek pointed out. “This Unsub has some clear anger issues.” You chimed in grimacing at the bloody crime scene photos in front of you.

Spencer adjusted his glasses and added, “The use of the hockey equipment as murder weapons could indicate a personal vendetta. The unsub might have a deep connection to the sport or even to Bryce himself. Hockey skates are incredibly sharp and can cause significant damage, while the force required to lodge a hockey stick into someone’s legs suggests immense rage.”

JJ nodded, “We should look into Bryce’s personal relationships, both on and off the ice. Any recent conflicts or unusual behavior from teammates or rivals?”

Rossi leaned back in his chair and mused, “You know, hockey is a sport where tempers can flare easily. We might be looking at someone who snapped in the heat of the moment. But the brutality of this attack suggests it’s more than just a moment of rage.”

Kate added, “We should also consider the possibility of a fan or someone from outside the team. Hockey fans can be incredibly passionate, sometimes to the point of obsession. If Bryce had a stalker or an overly enthusiastic fan, that could be another angle.”

Hotch stood up, “All of you have great points. Garcia, I want you to gather all the information you can on Bryce’s teammates, coaches, and anyone else connected to the team. We need to understand the dynamics at play here. As for the rest of you, we’ll discuss each and every one of your theories with more depth on the jet. Wheels up in thirty.”

As the team dispersed to start their investigation, you couldn’t help but feel a chill run down you spine. “Hey,” Spencer coaxed noticing your stiff demeanor. “We’re going to solve this just like all the others.” He reassured, squeezing you into one of his bone crushing hugs. This case was definitely going to be a tough one.

Arriving in Michigan, the cold air instantly bit at your cheeks as you stepped out of the car. The city was alive with the spirit of hockey, banners and posters of the local team adorning every corner.

As directed by Hotch, you and JJ were to go down to the ice rink and interrogate all of Bryce’s teammates, coaches, and even standby staff and fans whom were present.

Inside, the sound of skates slicing through ice and the thud of pucks hitting the boards filled the air. The players noticed your presence almost immediately and skated over, their expressions a mix of annoyance and curiosity.

“Alright, gentlemen,” you began pulling out your credentials alongside JJ, your tone firm but fair, "My name is SSA Y/N Y/L/N and this is SSA Jennifer Jareau, we need to go over a few things from the other day. We have some questions that need answers regarding your teammate Bryce Carter.”

One of the players, a tall blonde guy with a stern face, skated forward. “What do you want to know?” JJ took out her notebook, her eyes scanning the group. “We need to understand your whereabouts on the night of the incident. Any detail, no matter how small, could be helpful.”

The players exchanged glances before another spoke up. “We were all at the rink, practicing late. After that, we went to Joe’s Bar. You can check with the bartender.”

You nodded, watching JJ jot down the information. “We will. But we also need to know if any of you had any contact with the victim prior to the incident." You took a second, a question quickly emerging. "Why wasn't Bryce at the bar with you guys? After all he was found here by the night janitor."

The tall player whom you and JJ quickly noticed was the alpha male of the group frowned. “Look, we didn’t have anything to do with it. We’re just here to play hockey. As for Bryce, he was too good to go out drinking with the rest of us.”

JJ"s gaze was steady. “We understand that, but we need to cover all our bases. If there’s anything else you remember, now is the time to speak up.”

As you continued the questioning, you noticed a few of the players exchanging smirks and glances specifically towards you. One of them, a guy with a charming smile and tousled brown hair, skated closer to you. “So, Agent, how long are you in town for?”

Before you could respond, another player chimed in, “Yeah, maybe you can catch one of our games. We could use some good luck from someone like you.” He smirked looking at you up and down shamelessly.

JJ raised an eyebrow, her expression unimpressed. “We’re here to work, not to watch games.” You stepped in, refocusing the conversation. “Alright, enough. We’re here to solve a case, not to make friends. If you remember anything else, contact us immediately.”

The players nodded, their flirtatious demeanor never fading, in fact they were only encouraged as you handed them your card . You and JJ exchanged a glance, knowing that despite the distractions, you were one step closer to finding the truth.

You could not be happier arriving at the station, following JJ to the makeshift conference room the Detroit Sheriff's station had kindly offered. "Here they come." Rossi greeted being the first to notice your return. "Welcome back." Kate smiled. "Glad to be back." JJ huffed making you nod in agreement.

"How many muscled hockey players were checking you both out?" Derek teased despite knowing that you and Spencer had been in a committed relationship for almost three years and that JJ was happily married with two sons.

"I don't know Morgan, I was there for work." You emphasized dropping your body in the seat next to Spencer whom was working the geographical profile. It was almost like your body was on autopilot, unconsciously leaning towards his like a magnet.

"Good job you two." Hotch praised turning from the evidence board he was working on. "Garcia was able to find two more victims who were also bludgeoned by skates and pierced with hockey sticks."

Spencer looked up from his work, giving you a reassuring smile. "It looks like we're starting to see a pattern here. These new victims might help us narrow down the suspect pool." You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you.

"That's good news. The sooner we can catch this guy, the better." Hotch continued, "We need to cross-reference the new victims with our existing list and see if there are any common connections. Garcia is already on it." He suddenly glanced at his watch noticing how late it was.

"You know what, team? Let's call it a night," Hotch decided. "We can come back refreshed in the morning and tackle this with clear minds." Everyone in the room visibly relaxed at the prospect of some much-needed rest.

As you stood up, Spencer gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "We'll get him," He said softly, his eyes full of reassurance. You nodded, feeling a renewed sense of determination. "Yeah, we will." Finally getting a moment alone since landing in Michigan, Spencer turned his attention towards you.

“You seem drained, were the interrogations that bad?” You shrugged slinging your bag over your tense shoulder. “Just like any normal interrogation except I think I had enough testosterone for one day.” 

Smiling you leaned against him, “I don’t know about you but I’m ready for a nice warm shower and some room service. How does that sound?” You knew something was wrong the second Spencer did not respond to that. He cherished every opportunity the two of you had a cozy night in with you. It didn't take a profiler to know that Morgan's earlier comments had gotten to him.

Spencer simply stood there, his eyes clouded with doubt, his mind plagued with thoughts of inferiority. He imagined seeing you surrounded by confident, charismatic guys, and it made him question his worth. You could immediately sense his unease, and it broke you heart to see him like this.

Determined to erase his doubts, you stepped closer, gently placing you hands on his shoulders. "Spencer, I can hear you thinking from here," You whispered, voice soft but firm, "There's no one better than you. You're it for me." Before he could respond, you leaned in, lips meeting his in a kiss that was both tender and passionate.

You made sure to pour your heart and soul into that kiss, letting him feel the depth of your love and commitment. Your lips moved against his with a gentle insistence, conveying all the emotions you couldn't put into words. You could feel his initial hesitation, but as the kiss deepened, he began to relax, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer.

Smiling into the kiss, your fingers threaded through his hair, holding him close, as if to say, "You're the only one for me." Each movement of your lips was a reassurance, a promise that no one else could ever take his place in your heart. When you both finally pulled away, you rested your forehead against his, looking into his honey-hued eyes that had you smitten since day one.

"Spencer," you said softly, "You are everything to me. Don't ever doubt that." His eyes softened, the shadows of doubt fading away. Just as he was about to reassure you that he was okay and that he'd never let Derek Morgan get in his head again, he noticed an unmistaken group of hockey players walk out of the station, completely defeated.

Spencer turned to you completely confounded. “You planned this.” You shrugged, a smirk tugging at your lips. “Come on, pretty boy, I think they got the message loud and clear.” Grinning, Spencer nodded and grabbed your hips, pulling you closer, indulging in another kiss just because.  

The hockey players exchanged glances, their earlier bravado now replaced with a sense of unease. Spencer's hand tightened around yours as he whispered, “I guess we showed them, huh?” You chuckled, “Yeah, we sure did. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

IN RUINS

PAIRING: spencer reid x fem reader

SUMMARY: spencer reid has always had something against you. during a particular case, spencer snaps and says something he shouldn’t have said leaving you in ruins. but what happens when your in danger and he still hasn’t explained why he reacted the way he did. will he have the time?

“ what happened?” hotch says standing infront of the big white board that had some very gruesome pictures of 5 victims splayed out on a park bench. he’s standing tall and strong with his hands crossed in his dark grey suit. he’s looking at you and spencer, who’s walking in right behind you slamming the door close.

“ It’s her fault.” spencer says quickly moving to the other side of the room opposite you, trying to get as far away from you as possible.

you take a deep breath in trying your absolute hardest not to roll your eyes and cross your hands in annoyance and disappointment. “ it’s not my fault reid-”

“ woah woah what the heck happened?” morgan says pushing himself back in the precinct chair watching you and spencer. he looks at spencer, he sees the strong look of disgust and annoyance spencer is shooting at you. he looks at you, he notices you looking at spencer with a disappointed look.

“ she told the unsubs family we are after the unsub-” spencer spits out looking over at hotch, waiting for him to yell at you or lecture you.

“ wait spence we don’t even know who the unsub is. what do you mean?” jj says turning her head to look at spencer confusion written on her face. “ exactly! thank you jj!” you reply throwing your hands up.

“ michael miller is our unsub hotch.” spencer says completely ignoring your attempt to reason with him, his eyes stay on hotch waiting for him to snap at you or just lecture you. “ wait a minute i thought michael miller had a solid alibi.” morgan says laying back in his chair resting his arms on the arm rests. “ he does have a solid alibi it checks out-” spencer cuts you off. “ it does not check out!” spencer says.

“ yes it does! hotch we asked his dad who confirmed his son came home at 8:30 pm from football practice.” you say growing impatient looking at hotch, hotch’s eyebrows are furrowed tightly. his arms are still crossed listening to you and spencer bicker back and fourth.

“ just because his dad showed the tiniest bit of concern about his son when the fbi showed up to his doorstep does not make him a reliable source, just because you never had a dad who showed any bit of concern and now when you finally see a dad care about their kid does not mean you should not fall into their trap just because you never had a trap to fall into.” spencer spits out finally looking at you.

he watches as your expression hardens. he watches as humiliation and embarrassment fill your once determined eyes, the determined eyes who tried to reason with spencer at-least 4 minutes ago. 4 minutes, that’s how long it takes for your perspective of someone to change. he watches as your eyebrows tremble, a habit you have when your trying to fight back tears. he watches as your throat trembles too, probably trying to fight back that agonising choke you get when your about to cry.

the entire room goes quiet. spencers gaze remains on you, slowly watching your soul shatter because of his words. your gaze remains on spencer, slowly feeling your soul shatter because of his words.

the door that spencer slammed close 4 minutes ago opens, rossi and emily walking in. “ michael millers alibi checks out. we’ve got pictures of him at football practice from 5pm to 8:25pm. he wouldn’t have had the time to commit the murders.” rossi says opening the door for emily. “ also his teammates described him as an extrovert and outgoing which is not what we profiled the unsub to be.” emily says with her hands inside her pockets nodding looking at everyone surrounding the table.

“ i feel as though we interrupted something.” rossi says eyeing everyone in the room raising an eyebrow in confusion. he could feel the tension. emily could too. which is why she immediately looks over at morgan for answers. morgan looks at her for a split second before returning his gaze on you.

“ y/n-” spencer attempts. he tries to bring himself to take a step towards you, but it’s like his words somehow built a barrier between you and him that he now can’t even physically cross. or maybe he’s just scared that if he takes a step towards you, you’ll take a step back. away from him.

you swallow the gut wrenching feeling of tears crawling up your throat. you look down to your converse. “ i’m gonna go…uhm get coffee.” you say turning around immediately walking towards the door. “ excuse me.” you whisper pushing past rossi and emily.

“ oh wonder boy..” garcia says through the tv screen, her bright purple tinted lips which usually wear a bright smile on her face now wearing a frown. her tone disappointed as she presses her heart eye fuzzy emoji pen into her cheek. “ i uhm did my usual background checking on the uhm..list of potential unsubs and a uhm…scott anderson has a sketchy background. i’ve just sent his file to you my pretties.” garcia says stuttering quite a few times finding it hard to sneak her usually bubbly nicknames into the conversation after what had just happened. “ thank you garcia. jj take y/n and check out scott anderson.” hotch says looking at jj his arms finally by his side.

jj nods standing up walking towards the door “ i-i can go” spencer says turning his body towards jj. “ stay.” hotch replies his voice stern and bold. he looks at spencer his eyebrows furrowed.

jj closes the door. “ sit.” hotch says to spencer pointing to the empty seat at the table, spencer slowly walks towards the seat sitting down. “ you shouldn’t have said that spencer.” hotch says crossing his hands. “ hotch-” spencer attempts but is quickly cut off, “ i’m not finished. I get it. your worried spencer. your scared-”

“ hotch-” spencer is cut off once again. “ you may think your hiding it well spencer but your not. we know the unsub is targeting female victims which have similar features to l/n. if your too close to the case spencer-” it’s spencer’s turn to now cut hotch off. “ but i’m not too close to the case hotch!” spencer replies. he wanted the similarities between you and the victims to only be in his head because he wanted only him, himself to notice the similarities between you and the victims. you both have the same hair color, hair length, both considered to be attractive, both have similar personalities, and similar taste in clothing. he didn’t want it to be true. but now he knows that they are, and they’re not just in his head he’s even more worried.

“ your stuttering spencer. you do that when your worried or nervous.” emily says pulling a chair from the table. spencer shoots his eyes away from hotch to emily’s. his gaze softens a bit, emily’s tone wasn’t like hotchs. it wasn’t as stern or bold. it was rather understanding and gentle. “ i just cant control myself around her.” spencer says looking down at the picture of the fourth victim who had been wearing the exact same pair of converse your wearing now. “ well your going to have to learn how to control yourself pretty boy. you shouldn’t have said that.” morgan says looking at spencer. spencer sighs hiding his face in his hands. “ i just..god i’m so stupid.” spencer groans rubbing his tired eyes.

“ stupidity is what ended my third marriage.” rossi says crossing his hands leaning against the bulletin board with a small chuckle, morgan looks at rossi and laughs. “ well thank god pretty boy isn’t married. he’d be the new rossi.” morgan says tilting his head to the side looking at spencer trying to lighten the mood, spencer who still has his head in his hands. there’s a million thoughts going through his head, all of them are about you. all of them are about how he should apologize. is he even allowed to apologize? will you let him apologize to you? would you accept his apology? what if you didn’t? did he just ruin his friendship with you? no screw friendship, he doesn’t just want to be friends. he wouldn’t be as sensitive as he is to this case if he just wanted to remain friends. he’s in love with you. spencer reid is in love with you. and he just potentially ruined any slight chance of ever having you know that he loves you. just because he’s stupid and didn’t think before he spoke.

“ are you okay?” jj says both hands on the steering wheel turning around to look at you next to her, in the passenger seat. your heads turnt towards the window, your picking at your nails. a habit of yours. you turn to look at jj and nod. “ yeah i’m fine why wouldn’t i be?” you ask tilting your head to the side with a confusing smile. you know exactly why your not okay. but for some reason, you just can’t bring yourself to actually be upset over it. what’s there to be upset about? what spencer said is true. he’s not wrong. why are you making excuses for him? what he said was not okay. totally not okay. why do you have to make excuses for every male figure in your life for when they’ve done something wrong? why do you always make them the victim and you the villain. you just don’t wanna lose them right? because you know that if your the victim and their the villain they’ll never apologise and the entire relationship will disappear, it always does.

“ what spencer said-” jj is talking in that tone, that tone that she would speak in whenever something was wrong. in a motherly kind of tone. you immediately shake your head, “ it’s- it’s fine jj really, i don’t care. can we just please forget it ever happened? lets just work on the case.” you say running a hand through your hair biting your lower lip trying to stop your voice from trembling, you know when your about to cry and you have that heavy feeling in your throat? you swallow it hard. you turn your head to look at the window not waiting for a response from jj. jj clears her throat, “ no yeah of course.” she nods smiling turning her head back around.

“ this should be it…” jj mumbles stopping the car, parked infront of a 2 story cabin. you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the car door. “ it looks like no one’s home, there’s no car. we profiled that the unsub would have a van or a truck..” jj says closing the car door looking at the house. “ maybe he wouldn’t leave something so valuable to him outside, to the eye of the public. he’s possessive he thinks the entire world revolves around him he probably thinks someone would try to steal it.” you reply reaching in your pocket for your id. jj doing the same thing. you two walk to the front door, you in the front,

you knock on the door. you put your hand against your hip waiting for the door to open. “ we should ask the neighbours. maybe they’ll know-” you knock on the door again. “ scott anderson. fbi.” you say knocking on the door again. jj puts both of her hands on her waist. “ looks like he’s not home-” your cut off by the door swinging open.

you immediately turn your head around. “ scott anderson?” you ask looking at the man infront of you. you know it’s scott anderson, penelope had already sent his id picture on the drive over. he looks at you, then looks at jj. “ who are you..” he says looking directly at jj. “ i’m agent l/n with the fbi and this is agent jareau. do you mind if we come inside?” you ask smiling holding up your id.

he doesn’t even bother looking at your id. “ yeah whatever.” he moves to the side, making room for you and jj. you nod turning around to look at jj. she nods. you step inside jj following you.

“ do you live alone?” you ask analysing the house, its organised. weird for someone that’s his age. “ uhm yeah i do. what’s wrong with that?” he asks crossing his hands. you chuckle, “ no no nothings wrong with that, i also lived alone when i was 17.” you reply smiling. “ i’m 19.” he says looking at you, eyeing you up and down smiling. “ your pretty organised for a 19 year old.” jj says raising an eyebrow also crossing her hands smiling. “ guess i was just raised that way.” he replies rubbing his lips together. you nod. “ how were you raised scott..if you don’t mind me asking.” you say looking around the house. “ yeah scott how did you manage to score such a house at your age. do you work?” jj asks grabbing a picture frame. “ no i don’t work-” he turns to look at jj. “ put that down.” he snaps speed walking to jj. you immediately reach for your gun.

“ right..sorry. you don’t like people touching your stuff.” jj replies throwing her hands up in defeat. he snatches the picture frame. he grabs it caressing it gently, jj looks at you with wide eyes. you raise an eyebrow in confusion. “ scott. why do you have a picture of my colleague framed?” jj asks looking at the frame scott’s holding. your eyes widen.

“ oh god oh god. where’s y/n and jj?” penelope says aggressively tapping on her keyboard. “ what? what’s wrong?” spencer is the first to respond shooting up from the office chair just at the mention of your name. “ they’re at scott anderson’s why?” hotch says turning around, away from the white board to the tv. garcia starts tearing up, “ i-i did some deep digging and scott anderson has a blog about y/n..” garcia says in a shaky tone. no. no. no. no. no not again please.

his heart stopped for a split second. his hand start sweating. the air has been sucked out of his lungs. why is it so hard to breathe? why is there no air to breathe? there’s a million thoughts running through his head, they’re still about you. but now they’re worse. your in danger. your with the unsub. the unsub who has already killed five people. your in the same house with the unsub. the unsub who has a blog dedicated to you. and the last time you saw spencer you were teary eyed. no it can’t be the last time. no. please be safe.

his sweaty shaky hands reach for his phone. he clicks on your contact. hotch grabs his phone and immediately calls jj. spencer immediately puts the phone up against his ear. it rings. rossi and emily immediately stand up, “ penelope send us the address to scott’s house now.” emily says walking to the door. it’s still ringing. spencer starts biting his nails. his hearts pounding. the ringing of the phone case is haunting him. what is happening on the other side of the phone. why aren’t you answering. you always answer the phone. why is it still ringing? y/n why aren’t you answering.

“ god damn it!” spencer shouts into the phone as it keeps ringing. morgan stands up, “ hotch we gotta go.” he says standing up shoving his phone into his pocket.

the ringing stops. spencer’s heart stops. his breathing stops. everyone in the room looks at spencer waiting for any kind of confirmation. “ y/n you’ve gotta get out of there with jj!” spencer says stuttering with a shaky voice. hes scared. hes so so scared. hes never been more scared in his life. it’s quiet. why is it quiet? why aren’t you answering? what’s wrong. god y/n.

“ hey mom.” you reply. spencer takes a deep breath in. he stops biting his nails. he wipes his wet fingers on his pants. his hearts racing. your in danger. why are you calling him mom if your not in danger. oh god. he feels like he can’t breathe again. he can’t focus. he can’t do this. he can’t do this. he can’t do this without you. breathe spencer. she’s in danger spencer. she’s all that matters.

“ y/n. god i…” he chokes. “ you already figured it out didn’t you.” he says his throat feeling scratchy. he hears you giggle on the other side of the phone, your laugh erupts the butterflies in his stomach. under any other circumstances he would absolutely hate the butterflies in his stomach and would be mad at you for making him feel such way. but now they bring a sense of comfort, they make him feel normal for a split second. that this is not that big of a deal, he’s just calling the girl he really likes and he got butterflies from hearing her beautiful laughs.

“ yeah of course. i called aunt lizzie for her birthday mom i’m not stupid.” you respond. god your voice is so beautiful, but he can hear it. he can fear the slight fear in your voice. maybe other people wouldn’t hear it, but he can. spencer can. and it’s killing him. it’s tearing his heart apart. it’s making his legs shake. “ d-did he hurt you- is he gonna hurt you?” spencer says gripping his jeans tightly. he hears you laugh again, “ yeah mom.” you say.

he feels his legs going weak.

if any of y’all happen to be spencer reid hmu i’m available always