Sunghoon X Female Reader - Tumblr Posts

Midnight Seduction

song inspo: moonlight - kali uchis

Genre: Beach au, smut, pure nsfw

Warning: mature themes, oral sex, fingering, blowjob

It was a sultry summer evening when you stumbled upon Sunghoon at the beach, his shirt drenched with water after swimming.

As you approached him, the moonlight cast an alluring glow on the rippling muscles of his abs and the tantalizing bulge in his shorts. His hair was slicked back, droplets of water trailing down his chiseled torso, making him look like a vision straight out of a dream.

"Couldn't resist, huh?" he teased, his voice low and husky.

You bit your lip, unable to tear your gaze away from him. "You make it hard to."

Sunghoon's breath hitched as your hand slid lower, cupping the growing bulge in his shorts. He groaned, his hips involuntarily bucking into your palm. "Y/N," he whispered, his voice thick with desire.

"Right here, right now."

Without breaking eye contact, you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, pulling down the waistband of Sunghoon's shorts as you did so. His rock-hard cock sprung free, throbbing in the cool night air.

Sunghoon's hips bucked forward, driving his thick cock deeper into your mouth. He gripped your head, guiding you up and down his shaft with a rhythm that matched the pounding of his heart. "Fuck, Y/N," he moaned, his voice a mix of pleasure and desperation.

Your hands gripped his thighs, nails digging into his skin as you took him deeper, the taste of salt and musk filling your senses. Sunghoon's breaths became ragged, his moans louder as he neared the edge.

"Y/N, I'm gonna-" he choked out, unable to finish his sentence as his climax overtook him. His hips jerked, and he spilled into your mouth, his body trembling with the intensity of his release.

As you pulled back, gasping for air, Sunghoon dropped to his knees, pulling you into a searing kiss. The taste of him lingered on your lips, mingling with the salt of the sea and the sweetness of the moment.

“That was…” Sunghoon began, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah,” you agreed, your heart still racing. “It was.”

Sunghoon's hands slid down your body, fingers tracing your curves through the thin fabric of your clothes. "But we're not done yet," he murmured against your lips, his voice husky with desire.

He guided you to lie back on the soft sand, his hands deftly removing your clothing piece by piece. The cool night air caressed your exposed skin, sending shivers down your spine. Sunghoon's mouth followed the path of his hands, leaving a trail of kisses and nips that made you arch beneath him.

When he finally reached the juncture between your thighs, he paused, looking up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Ready for more?" he asked, his breath hot against your sensitive skin.

"Please," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

With a wicked grin, Sunghoon lowered his head, his tongue darting out to taste you. A gasp escaped your lips as he expertly teased and tormented you, bringing you to the edge again and again. Each time, he would pull back just before you could tumble over, drawing out your pleasure until you were nearly begging for release.

Finally, when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, Sunghoon slid two fingers inside you, curling them just right to hit that sweet spot.

"Do you like that?" Sunghoon murmured, his voice low and husky.

"Yes, Sunghoon, please," you gasped, your body arching into his touch.

"Tell me how it feels," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin.

"So good.. It's too much," you moaned, your hands clutching the sheets.

His tongue continued its relentless assault, driving you higher and higher until you exploded with a cry, your body convulsing with the force of your orgasm.

Sunghoon didn't stop, riding out your waves of pleasure until you were left trembling and spent.

"You look so beautiful like this," he said softly, his eyes filled with affection.

"Sunghoon," you breathed, reaching out to him. "Kiss me."

Only then did he move back up your body, his lips finding yours in a slow, languid kiss.

"Did I make you feel good?" he asked, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes.

"You always do," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity.

He smiled, his thumb brushing your cheek gently. "I love seeing you like this."

"I love you," you whispered, your heart swelling with emotion.

"I love you too," he said, capturing your lips once more in a tender kiss.

As you lay together, basking in the afterglow, you felt a rush of contentment. The night was still, and you were eager to savor every moment with Sunghoon. With a final, lingering kiss, you nestled into his arms, feeling safe and loved.

AN: this is my first fanfic! any ideas or suggestions on how to improve would be much appreciated!💗💗

Drowning in lust

now playing - donk

genre: pure smut

warnings: NSFW

wc: 1.2k

AN: ive edited the confusing part out and changed it! so sorry for the confusion

The night was warm and inviting as you and Sunghoon settled into the private pool, the soft glow of the underwater lights casting a gentle radiance across the water. The serene environment contrasted with the intensity of the connection between you two.

Sunghoon had been waiting eagerly, his eyes lighting up as he saw you approach. The soft ripples of the water seemed to dance around him as he slid into the pool, his movements fluid and graceful. You followed suit, your heart racing with anticipation.

As you stepped into the pool, Sunghoon was there immediately, his hands reaching out to guide you. His touch was warm and electrifying, sending shivers down your spine. “It’s just not the same without you,” he murmured, his voice a soft, needy whisper. His fingers traced along your back, the sensation both comforting and exhilarating.

You laughed, the sound mingling with the gentle splash of the water. “Is that so?”

He nodded, his gaze dark with desire. “You know it. Everything’s better with you.”

Sunghoon pulled you closer, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was both tender and hungry. His hands roamed your sides, the water creating a rhythmic, soothing motion as he pressed his body against yours. The sensation of his chest pressing against you was intoxicating, his warmth enveloping you as you kissed him back with equal fervor.

The water around you seemed to pulse with the heat of your shared desire. Sunghoon’s hands slipped lower, his touch becoming more insistent. He gently pushed your swimsuit up, his fingers grazing your skin with a teasing touch. As he trailed kisses down your neck and shoulders, his hands explored your body with a mix of tenderness and desire.

Sunghoon’s lips followed the path of his hands, kissing and nipping at your skin. As his mouth descended lower, the water lapped gently around your waists, its coolness contrasting with the warmth of his touch. He trailed kisses down your stomach, his lips just grazing the surface of the water. The feeling of the soft splash against your skin and his mouth above the water sent shivers down your spine.

When his lips reached the part of your stomach still above the waterline, he paused, giving a playful nip that made you gasp in both surprise and pleasure. The sensation of his teeth on your skin was electrifying, heightened by the cool water swirling around you. His eyes gleamed mischievously as he glanced up at you, then continued his downward path, the rest of his body submerged in the water as he explored you further.

“You feel incredible,” Sunghoon whispered, his voice filled with admiration as he cupped your breasts. His thumbs brushed over your nipples with a teasing touch, making you gasp. Your body arched into his touch, the sensation causing you to shiver with pleasure.

Sunghoon’s lips followed the path of his hands, kissing and nipping at your skin. He moved lower, his mouth trailing kisses down your stomach. The warm water combined with his touch created a sense of weightlessness, making the pleasure even more intense. When he reached the waistband of your panties, he looked up at you with a playful grin.

His hands slid your panties off, his touch light but electrifying as he traced his fingers through your folds. The sensation made you shiver, a mix of anticipation and need coursing through you.

His lips brushed against your inner thigh, his kisses warm and teasing. You moaned softly, your body responding instinctively to his touch. Sunghoon’s tongue flicked out, brushing against your clit with a skillful, tantalizing motion. Each flick of his tongue sent waves of pleasure through you, making you gasp and moan as he brought you closer to the edge.

Sunghoon’s fingers joined his tongue, sliding into you with a steady, rhythmic motion. You cried out, the combination of his touch and his mouth pushing you closer to your climax. Your hips bucked against him, the pleasure building with every stroke. The water around you seemed to amplify the sensations, making every movement more intense.

He pulled back slightly, his breath hot and heavy as he looked up at you. “You’re so beautiful like this,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire. His eyes were filled with admiration as he leaned back in, his tongue working relentlessly while his fingers continued their rhythm. The sensation was almost overwhelming, the pleasure building to a fever pitch.

Sunghoon’s breathing grew more ragged as he continued, his gaze locked onto yours. “I’m nearly there,” he growled, his voice filled with raw need. He moved with a steady rhythm, each thrust of his fingers and flick of his tongue pushing you closer to the edge.

With a final, powerful thrust of his fingers and a deep, passionate kiss, Sunghoon pushed you over the edge. Your body convulsed with the intensity of your climax, the waves of pleasure washing over you in a torrent of sensation. You cried out, the sound mingling with the splashes of water as you experienced your release.

Sunghoon pulled away, his face flushed with satisfaction as he looked at you. His eyes were dark with desire, his breath coming in quick, heavy bursts. He quickly shed his own swimsuit, the sight of his arousal making your heart race with need.

He guided himself to you, his gaze never leaving yours. With a smooth, deliberate motion, he entered you. The feeling of him filling you completely was overwhelming, every inch of him stretching you perfectly. You gasped, the sensation of his cock pressing against your inner walls was electrifying, his abs brushing against your back with every thrust.

Sunghoon’s thrusts were steady and purposeful, each movement sending waves of pleasure through your body. His chest pressed firmly against your back, his abs and chest creating a delicious friction with every powerful thrust. He set a rhythm that was both intense and fulfilling, his hips driving into you with a force that made you moan loudly. The water around you created a soothing backdrop to the passionate connection you were sharing.

You gripped his shoulders, urging him on as the pleasure built. His breathing grew more erratic, his thrusts becoming more urgent as he neared his own climax. “I’m gonna cum,” he groaned, his voice rough with desire.

You nodded, lost in the sensation. With a final, powerful thrust, Sunghoon came with a deep, guttural groan. His release filled you completely, the warmth and intensity of his climax pushing you over the edge one last time. Your body trembled as you experienced your own climax, the pleasure overwhelming and all-encompassing.

In the aftermath, you and Sunghoon held each other close, the water around you gently rocking as you both caught your breath.

Heat of the Night

Sypnosis: After a grueling week, you seek escape at a dimly lit bar, where you meet Sunghoon, a flirtatious bartender. As he serves you with playful charm, the chemistry between you two ignites. His daring whispers and heated glances lead to an intense, passionate encounter, turning a simple night out into an unforgettable experience.

now playing: diet pepsi - addison rae

genre: smut

warnings: nsfw and explicit language

(no plot literally just smut)

wc: 1.9k

You slumped into your apartment, the weight of the week pressing down on you. Work had been relentless, with deadlines and demands piling up, leaving you feeling drained and overwhelmed. The stress was constant, and you needed a break—a chance to escape from the pressures that had consumed your life.

You poured yourself a drink, hoping it would help you unwind, but the stress lingered. A night out seemed like the only remedy, a chance to blow off steam and momentarily forget the strain of work.

The dimly lit bar you walked into was a welcome change from the chaos of your week. The soft glow of neon lights and the low murmur of conversation provided a contrast to the harsh fluorescent lights of the office. The music pulsed softly in the background, helping you start to relax.

As you approached the bar, you noticed the bartender with a confident air and a warm smile. He was busy mixing drinks, but his gaze met yours, and he offered a quick, knowing smile. You made your way over, feeling a bit of tension starting to ease.

Sunghoon wiped his hands on a towel and leaned against the counter as you approached. “Hey there,” he said, his voice smooth and inviting. “What can I get for you tonight?”

You looked up, intrigued by his easy charm. “Just a beer, please.”

Sunghoon nodded, grabbing a bottle from the fridge. “You’re really pretty,” he said casually, handing you the beer with a slight grin.

You smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. “Is that your way of flirting with me?”

Sunghoon’s smile widened, his gaze lingering on you. “Maybe. But I’d say you’re pretty captivating. I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in your eye. “Oh really? And how do you plan to do that?”

He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a seductive whisper. “Well, if I had my way, I’d bend you over this bar right now and make you forget all about your problems.”

The boldness of his words made you shiver with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. You met his gaze, feeling a rush of desire and curiosity.

With a knowing smile, Sunghoon guided you to a quieter corner of the bar. The atmosphere was charged with an electric intensity as he led you to a more private space, away from the bustling crowd. The cool night air from the slightly open window contrasted with the heat of the moment as he closed the distance between you.

When you were alone, Sunghoon’s hands were on you almost immediately, his touch urgent and possessive. The moment you were against the wall, his lips crashed onto yours with a fierce passion. The kiss was intense, his tongue exploring your mouth with a hungry fervor.

His hands roamed your body with a roughness that made your knees weak. You moaned into his kiss, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. Sunghoon's hands slipped under your shirt, his touch burning against your skin. His fingers grazed your stomach before deftly unhooking your bra, the straps sliding down your arms. His mouth left yours to trail kisses down your neck and chest.

He pushed your shirt up, exposing your breasts to him. Sunghoon’s hands cupped them, his thumbs brushing over your nipples with a teasing touch. You gasped at the sensation, your body arching into his touch. His mouth moved lower, his lips closing around one of your nipples. His tongue flicked against the sensitive bud, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. You moaned loudly, your hands gripping his shoulders as he lavished attention on your chest.

Sunghoon’s hands traveled down to your waistband. He swiftly unbuttoned your jeans, his fingers deftly pulling down the zipper. The jeans slid down your hips, revealing your underwear. He kissed a path down your stomach, his breath hot against your skin, until he reached the waistband of your panties. He looked up at you with a predatory smile.

“Can I?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.

You nodded eagerly, breathless with anticipation. Sunghoon slid your panties down, exposing you to him. His gaze darkened with desire as he traced his fingers through your folds, his touch light but electrifying. He kissed your inner thigh, his lips brushing over your sensitive skin. You shivered, a mix of anticipation and need coursing through you.

His tongue flicked out, brushing against your clit. You gasped, your back arching as the sensation hit you. Sunghoon’s mouth was relentless, alternating between licking and sucking, his movements skilled and intoxicating. Each flick of his tongue made you moan louder, your body reacting instinctively to his touch. The heat in your core was unbearable, the pleasure building with every stroke.

Sunghoon’s fingers slid into you, stretching you as his tongue continued its assault. You cried out, the combination of his fingers and mouth pushing you closer to the edge. Your hips bucked against him, the pleasure overwhelming as he worked you over with expert precision.

He pulled back briefly, his breath hot and heavy as he looked up at you. “You’re so beautiful like this,” he said, his voice rough with desire. Then he leaned back in, his tongue flicking rapidly against your clit as his fingers moved in a steady rhythm inside you.

The coil inside you tightened, every touch, every stroke driving you nearer to the brink. “Sunghoon, I’m gonna—” you gasped, but he silenced you with a deep, hungry kiss. His fingers continued their relentless pace, plunging into you with a rhythm that matched the intensity of his kiss. Your body trembled as the orgasm built, the pressure inside you reaching a fever pitch.

When you finally came, it was with a cry of release, your body shaking with the intensity of the orgasm. Sunghoon watched you with a satisfied grin, his fingers still moving inside you, coaxing every last bit of pleasure from your body. He pulled away, his face flushed with desire, and quickly shed his own clothes. His cock was hard and straining, and the sight of him made you ache with need.

He guided himself to your entrance, his gaze locked on yours. With a smooth, deliberate motion, he pushed into you. The feeling of him filling you was overwhelming, every inch of him stretching you perfectly. You gasped, your body reacting instinctively to the intrusion.

Sunghoon’s thrusts were relentless, each movement sending waves of pleasure through your body. He set a steady rhythm, his hips driving into you with a force that made you moan loudly. The pleasure was intense, your body tightening around him with each thrust.

“Look at you,” he grunted, his eyes never leaving yours. “Taking me so well.” His words were filthy, but they only fueled your desire. You clawed at his back, urging him on as the pleasure built.

Sunghoon’s breathing grew ragged, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he neared his own climax. “I’m gonna cum,” he growled, his voice filled with raw need.

You nodded, lost in the sensation. With a final, powerful thrust, Sunghoon came with a deep, guttural groan, his release filling you completely. The warmth of his cum and the force of his orgasm pushed you over the edge one last time, your body convulsing with the intensity of your own climax.

For a moment, the only sounds in the room were your heavy breathing and the distant hum of the city outside. Sunghoon collapsed beside you, his body still trembling with the aftershocks of his release. He pulled you close, his touch gentle and loving, his lips pressing tender kisses to your forehead.

My obsessed Ghostface + Sunghoon self is so happy rn 🥹😭🫶🏻

scream (p. sh)

Freak—>

paring. sunghoon x female reader

genre. best friends brother AU, smut smut smut, M/F, part 2👻

warnings. horror film references, ghost face sunghoon, smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.

wc. 5000

now playing. Scream//Misfits

smut warnings. cnc, dom Sunghoon, role play, mask kink, degradation, rimming, anal, sub drop, unprotected sex, etc

The mouth-watering scent of melted butter looms around the room as you busily work to multitask and alternate between checking on pizza bakes and Sunghoon’s favorite type of popcorn.

How could you possibly forget the slather of salty clear yellow left behind on his lips after shoving a handful into his mouth, winking at you as his tongue dragged across to lick up the tasty mess left behind, much as he had when..

The high-pitch ring of your cellphone rips you from your thoughts, glancing around quickly and turning the stove fire off with the sound of kernels expanding filling up the kitchen. “Shit.” You mutter, quickly wiping your hands, it’s probably him.

‘Uknown Caller’ stares back at you while your thumb hovers to answer, could just be a scam call.. “Hello?”

“Hello?”

“..yes?”

“Who is this?”

Leaning back against the kitchen island, you frown, not recognizing the voice on the other end of the line. “You called me, who is this?”

“What number is this?”

“Who are you trying to reach?”

“I don’t know.”

Opening and shutting your mouth, you glance around swiftly, turning your attention to the windows. “Hmm, I think you have the wrong number. It happens, take it easy.” Without a second thought you hang-up, uncovering the popcorn you made specially for your date tonight. 

Another blaring ring jolts your heart, lifting onto the balls of your feet before reaching for your phone annoyed. “Wrong number again.”

“No, no, don’t hang up.”

“Why?”

“I like your voice.” He says smoothly, adding a small laugh. “What are you wearing right now?”

“Ugh, they have 800 numbers for that dude.” You say, prepared to hang up again. “Bye.” 

“No no! Wait!”

Sighing, you roll your eyes and look over your freshly manicured nails. “Make it quick.”

“Tell me your name.” He says in a flirtatious tone.

“Why do you wanna know my name?” You giggle, shutting the oven off to let the pizza pockets cool down.

“Because I wanna know who I’m looking at.” He says wickedly, making your heart skip a beat as you make a quick spin to glance around.

“What did you say??”

“Uhm,” clearing his throat, he changes to speak in a softer tone. “I said I want to know who I’m talking to.”

“That’s not what you said!” You stammer, quickly running around to check the window locks and doors. “Don’t fucking call me again!”

“Don’t forget the garage door, baby.” 

Fear spikes up your chest, running back through the kitchen to the garage door, too late as it crashes open and a masked figure bursts through with a knife in hand chasing you past the entrance and around the kitchen counter.

“No no! PLEASE DON’T!” You beg, taking a deep gulp, panting hard as you try to catch your breath.. 

The large figure looms closer, knife tightly clutched ready to lunge forward and attack until your cellphone blares throughout the kitchen space again, darting both of your eyes to the device.

“Oh shit, it’s your sister.” You say, reaching for your phone prepared to answer the call until Sunghoon whacks your hand away causing the phone to slip from your hold and land with a nasty thud. “Hoon! You jerk!”

His lack of response continues, only moving in closer until your back meets the edge of the kitchen counter. The mask even more wicked this close-up, barely revealing his concentrated vicious gaze behind the fabric peeled over his eyes.

‘If you break character, I’ll have to punish you.’

Sunghoon chuckled, adding a wink as you discussed and shared a secret fantasy the two of you have in common. Devising a plan to make it come to life after hitting up a costume store together. He nodded to the display holding fake blood, plastic bloody knives and the iconic Ghost Face mask before leaning in to whisper by your ear. ‘What’s your favorite scary movie?’

The fun and games subsided now as he presses in harder, whipping free a dull knife(probably borrowed from his parents kitchen) from his back pocket to press to your throat. 

“I’m sorry..” you plead, tongue-tied and distracted by the thick heat shoved just beneath your navel. His hand lifts, 5 fingers held apart before your wide fear filled eyes as he pushes back and his pinky folds in, signaling you have 4 seconds left to get away.

Scanning for an escape you scram out of the kitchen and look both ways before booking it toward the living room, feet tripping over each other as heavy footsteps come closer up behind you.

“Stop stop!” You shout from one side of the couch, finding your predator barricading the room's entrance with the knife waving before his face in a mocking ‘hello’.

“You want me?” You ask boldly, tiptoeing around as he strides closer, each step nearing the couch escalating the thump in your chest. “My boyfriend will be here soon!! And he’s big!” 

Sunghoon shakes his head, an audible click of his tongue sounding from where he stands nearby, he tugs your discarded phone from his pocket and shuts the device off, throwing it aside to one of the seats behind him. 

Fuck. He’s really thought of everything.

“Fine. What are you going to do.. if you catch me?” You ask teasingly, opting for a new approach as you scurry to stand behind the coach as a shield, sliding from side to side depending on his movement. “Hurt me? Kill me? Choke me and spank me?”

Sunghoon’s head tilts, never once breaking his character, he stops before the center of the couch to run the knife down his chest, white t-shirt rippling beneath the blade.

“Cut me open?” You say curiously, focused on the knife trailing down to the prominent bulge between his hips. “You into that?” Bending forward, for a better view, your ass sways as he sends the knife back up to his chest, forming more wrinkles with the passing motion. 

The knife drags down rougher this time, gasping at the sound of cotton ripping through as he slices down the material of his shirt slowly exposing icy white skin stretched taut over muscle. “Shit.” You mutter, entranced by the blunt tip of the knife skimming up and down the line of hair trailing from his navel down to the hidden area beneath his jeans.

He pauses, turning the knife around to hold the handle out for you to grab. “What? Want me to cut my dress open?” You scoff, receiving a slow nod in return. “No! This is a nice dress!”

Sunghoon takes a step forward with his shoulders rolled back and chest flexed, knees hitting the couch causing you to stand straight. “Sorry sorry… I mean..”

Fiddling with the straps of your dress you look down for a second and take a deep breath, still shy even though you suggested this in the first place. A streak of light from the kitchen lands across his gaze, focused dark eyes trained on your every little move as you push the straps off your shoulders and cup around your chest for the garment to stay put.

Sunghoon tips his chin in, the mask even more sinister at that angle, he nods slowly, making a quick movement to lift the knife before your face and startle you momentarily; but it’s enough time for him to round the couch and crowd in on you, fisting a tuft of your hair before you manage to run off.

“Ahh! No no!” You croon, shoved down over the back of the couch into a bent position. The tough grip on your head doesn’t relent as he runs the knife down your back to the hem of your dress, using it to flare the material up to rest above your ass.

He groans behind you, unveiling your naked already sleek glossy core, forgoing panties in favor of getting fucked faster. “Ahh, no no.” You keep on, twisting your neck back to watch the way he observes, tracing the knife over your ample cheeks. “Please mister ghost face.. not there!” 

Sunghoon smirks behind the mask, turning the knife around to shove the handle between your buttcheeks. “Please, not there! Anywhere but there!”

He groans, pushing lower past your rim to your entrance to tease and poke at the wetness beginning to seep out past your hole. the dollop of slick that covers the handle makes him moan, pulling the knife back to hit your ass with the wet hardwood, erupting shame through your head as he glides it down and leaves a line of glossy arousal down to your upper thigh before the knife clatters to the floor and his knees follow. Setting down with his face hovering just behind your presented ass, he grabs your buttcheeks roughly; strong digits burying into the soft fatty flesh he’s become obsessed with pillowing around his face for the last few weeks. 

“Fuck, ah, please don’t eat my ass!” You whine helplessly, smiling to yourself as you feel him use your thigh to shove the bottom half of the mask up and bite down on the pert roundness leading to your tensed rim.

The first prod of his tongue against the tight little clench of your asshole has you lifting up onto your toes, gripping at the couch under your weight to not kick back as he swirls around the muscles and spits nastily. “Ah, god damn.” You mumble to yourself, biting down on your forearm to keep in a row of moans. You aren’t supposed to enjoy this..

Two digits meet his tongue, working between your heat to lube your hole with the slick dribbling free from your cunt. Burning desire explodes through your stomach the more he uses your own arousal to open your rim up, the more he spits and shoves the mess from his tongue through your clenched muscle.

Sunghoon pants against your ass, his cock rock hard from the phone call alone. The girl of his dreams had been in his sister’s bedroom, giggling over boy bands and celebrity gossip all these years, now face down ass up trying to not cum from the impending thought of having your ass full of his cock soon, very soon.

It’s harder for him to not comment too much on how tight you wrap around his tongue, how fucking good your dirty fuckhole smells covered with spit and slick as he drags down and takes a deep inhale; thighs tremoring against his face nervously. You’re not the best at playing this part, but who cares with his tongue sunken deep between your ass cheeks, sucking the wetness straight from your cunt just to spit it back inside of your asshole and watch you open up for his fingers thrusting in and out. 

“What a pretty hole.” He whispers, the rumble of his tone low, but loud enough for you to hear. Sunghoon stands, dragging his digits up and down through your dripping wet labia folds, his wrist slithering through too with a string of curses emitting as he watches your ass and cunt cradle him; making it harder to not imagine the fat girth of his cock there instead.

“You’re lucky I’d rather split your ass open and not your chest.” He says quietly, looping around your waist to manhandle you down to the floor, pulling your pretty pretty dress off as he lays you down and takes in your breasts pushing up high with each ragged breath you struggle to take. The glaze over your eyes screaming to get fucked, to fuck you like the whore you are.

Sunghoon tugs the mask back down to cover his chin, not bothered by the slick still painted over his lips and jaw. Ripping off the rest of his cut t-shirt, he looks like something straight out of one of your most depraved fantasies perched between your parted legs, jamming his clothed crotch to press flush to your core. His greedy hands run up your stomach, kneading your breasts as he seeks your neck and clasps his hands around with a firm squeeze, stealing your next breath.

“H-hoon—“ you croak, reaching for his wrists as he tightens and presses down on your windpipe. Jean covered cock rutting against your swelled pussy, further cementing how desperate you are to get fucked as you lift to roll back and feel the friction against your clit. “Fuck yes.”

It’s impossible to keep up the act the more you get lost to the pleasure, the boiling heat scorching up from between your thighs to your head. Sunghoon growls upon hearing his name moaned out, furiously pressing against your jugular until you slap at his forearms and let out a pathetic sob.

Loosening the hold, he glides down your torso, flicking your stiff nipples along the way to grip your hips roughly and hoist your lower half up, wrapping his biceps around your body to keep the backs of your thighs pressed to his chest as he leans in and rubs your cunt against the mask.

“Fuck!” The sight above you has your eyes rolling up, smacking at the floor around you as he lowers you back down and whips a strike of his palm right along your slit, making your hips jump up and down to run and chase the sensation all at once. Every action grows more delirious from there, fast to shove and kick his bottoms off as he sets your butt on his upper thighs and his length lands where it belongs, laid flat against both of your holes. He watches intently as each vein pulse’s viscously, more hungry to fuck you than he even realized throughout this game. 

“Look at you.” He voices, harsh and strained. “So desperate for cock, you’re practically begging for me to fuck your ass.” His head tilts again at that evil practiced angle, admiring the shame washing down your pretty features, overwhelming your capability to breathe properly as your back arches and you give him a sad little nod. 

Sunghoon cooes, inching back until the large blunt tip of his length rests against your rim, beating faster and harder than your own heartbeat. He drags the wet head around your asshole teasingly, just to watch you squirm and squeal out anxious tiny whimpers. “Is that what you want? Should I fuck your ass?” 

With another nudge against your hole, you nod eagerly, teeth chattering together in anticipation. “Please.. fuck my ass.”

Sunghoon smiles behind the mask, slowly entering past your clenched muscle, earning a muffled cry as your lips purse together. The position he keeps you at isn’t the most comfortable, but mind-numbing nonetheless, having an up close viewing of his cock pushing in inch by inch, forcing the skin wrapped around his thick girth to accommodate the new sheer massive size you’ve never experienced before.

His hips meld to your ass, fully sheathed inside, panting heavily under the thin cloth covering his mouth. He whistles lowly, pausing to take in how fucking stretched you are around his cock as his fingers reach to rub and swipe around the pulled skin kissing around him. “Fuck, what would your boyfriend say?” He emphasizes by pulling back enough for half of his length to be seen, thrusting back in as slow as possible to make it all the more torturous. “If he saw you like this? Fucked up the ass, pussy wet as fuck.”

His hips snap forward roughly, jamming every bit of his girth in and back out, gaining speed with each movement. “Getting fucked in the ass is for stupid fuck whores..” he says with a hard snap of his lower half meeting yours, ass met with bruising hits of muscle and bone. “With pussys too useless and loose to even bother fucking.”

The mean-spirited intent entwined in his speech has your mind spiraling away, feeling split open more and more by each meticulous thrust meant to push your hole open until he can bury in balls deep. Sunghoon curses loudly, slapping your hips to pay attention and watch his length retreat out to the tip only to bury back in mercilessly.

Ram after ram of his hips solidifies just how fucking full you are, gazing through hooded tired eyes at his cock plunging in and out, wet by the consistent drip pushed from your cunt, passing down past the crevice of your ass making a slick mess of wet between his thighs as well. 

Sunghoon nearly pulls out completely as he repositions himself, searching for the pits of your knees to shove them down against your shoulders as he mounts you and fully pushes back in. The stretch reminds you of how raw and bare all of this is, nothing between you to separate his cockhead from pressing through your ring of muscle. “So fucking wet.” He grunts, peering down between your crushed together limbs where your empty cunt shines under a heavy layer of slick. “So fucking wet from getting your ass torn open huh? What a good slut.”

He manages to snake one of his hands to your cunt, hips jumping under his weight desperately as your body begs to be touched just once. Clit hard as a rock as he softly grazes past the bundle of sensitive nerves to sink lower toward your pussy hole.

Silently pleading for more, you tiredly hook around your knees to keep yourself in place and free his hands, pussy opening up as you bite down a cry and ask between grinding teeth to be touched. “Please! I’m a dumb slut! Fuck me hard!”

Sunghoon’s pace falters, swallowing down a curse before picking up again into a much more brutal speed. His sight goes blurry for a moment, landing a slap down on your cunt before two fingers slink through the heat of your pussy. “Such a whore.”

His hips snap at a backbreaking speed, pushing you up against the floor roughly as he rushes to fuck you like nothing but a used up cocksleeve. Two fingers attempting to chase and fuck your pussy just as fast despite how fuzzy his mind gets with each addicting suck your ass gives around his cock.

Sunghoon’s digits hit deep, the tips pressed up against your cervix at this angle, buckling under the ruthless pumps as he stills buried deep inside your ass. It builds and builds, from the tension gathered at the tail end of your spine and the swelled flesh gripped around his fingers, you can’t control the jump from your hips. Rucking up just to feel the burning stretch, to chase the friction against your bundle of nerves trapped beneath his piercing thumb.

“H-hoon, s’too—“ you slur, eyes lit up in flames as they shoot wide open and your throat feels constrained even without long fingers wrapped around you anymore. The invisible weight of his grip remains, collapsing your chest as you suck in for a deep breath and see nothing but white. “S’too—much!”

Sunghoon pinches your clit again, the bite on your tongue turns useless as you let out a broken scream. He’s filling up your ass so good, pushing your orgasm to the coil up faster with each ramped thrust. “Need t-to cum, I’m g-gonna cum.” Breath evades your lungs, head spinning the more you try to hold back, wanting him to flood your hole before you reach your own peak of pleasure.

Sunghoon fails to answer, drawing back to land a ruthless wet slap down on your cunt. Two middle fingers sink in past your convulsing hole, forcing his pinky and index fingers alongside the foreboding stretch down to his first knuckle. They press flush to your pussy, the heel of his palm landing smacked dab against your clit at the same time that his cock pushes in your ass to the brim. With buried fingers he wiggles against the flesh stretched around his cock, pushing against the walls of your pussy until you let out a heart wrenching sob and balled fists hit the floor around you.

“You know who cums from getting their ass fucked like this?” His pace picks up again, matching the rhythm of his digits to his cock before pulling free to slap your pussy once more. “Getting fucked up the ass like nothing but a common used filthy slut.” 

Without really taking in anything he’s saying through the muffled speech playing from behind the ghost face mask, you nod, over and over again. Thoughtless to the teasing thumb finding your sensitive clit again to rub figure eights over.

“I’m a s-slut!” You wail out mindlessly, back arching up until Sunghoon leans down with your legs braced upon his shoulders. Burly biceps bracket your head, snapping his hips into merciless action. The wet clap of his pelvic muscle against the fat of your ass resounds through the living room loud enough to rush blood up your face, consumed by the embarrassment and just how loose you are now. His cock slides in so easily now, so fucking good, reiterating with each seathing pass through your hole just what a god damn slut you are.

“I’m such—such a dumb slut!” You say right as a prickle hits the back of your eyes, blinking rapidly to subdue the tears ready to river out. Sunghoon’s pace turns erratic, breath quickened with eyes laser focused on your disoriented expression. “I’m—I’m just a hole.” You weep, chest caved in by your next breath. “Please, please, I’m cum—“

Sunghoon’s stomach wrenches, body locked up by the unrelenting suctioning grip around his cock, unable to pull himself out even an inch as you cum and a splash of slick smacks under his navel. “What a good fucking slut..” he says between ragged breaths, resisting the damning urge to force his length past your climax to chase his own.

The wet droplets hit your cheeks before you even realize tears have run down from your eyes, completely bewildered and blinded by your mind going blank as intense orgasm hits every tip from your fingers down to your toes, curled where they hang above you with Sunghoon’s weight crushing you under the mating press position, cock shoved deep inside rutting against the fat of your ass to savor the clamp of maddening heat closed around him.

The whimper that rips from your chest has his masked face peering up, coming to a complete stop upon finding your blazed gaze turned toward the ceiling and tears springing rapidly down your cheeks.

“Hey hey,” Sunghoons sheds the mask off quickly, his flawless skin coated in a glisten of sweat that highlights each curve and chiseled bone, making him appear even more God-like above you. Stilling his ministrations, he dips forward to cup your face and turn your watery gaze back to him, too dazed to fully register that he’s even stopped with each passing throb rippling up from your core through your gut. “What’s going on? You okay?” 

A stifled helpless cry runs through your lips, cheek falling into his palm for comfort as another wound of tears pour down your cheeks from the overwhelming continuous surge of pleasure panging through your limbs. “Hoon..”

Letting out a sigh of relief he adjusts to take pressure off your upper back, allowing your thighs to drape down around his sides as he slowly eases himself free, biting down a hiss. “Was I too rough?”

Shaking your head, you can’t help but to feel needy and vulnerable, especially with your hole gaped open squeezing around nothing. “Hold me..” you whine, weakly lifting your palms to open and shut. The vision has Sunghoon’s throat jumping, stroking up the sides of your thighs with the tips of his blunt nails before guiding his hips to lay between your parted legs, hard pulsating cock nudged up against your core.

“Want me?” He asks in a low whisper, reaching to position his length between your swollen heat, snuggly fitting his thick girth tight with your flushed pussy squeezed around him. “Did I hurt you?”

His lack of confidence with regaining movement makes your chest inflate, scurrying to scrape your nails over his defined shoulders as you shake your head. “Good, felt t-too good.”

“Had me worried.” He mumbles, pressing a light kiss to your chin. “So sexy how you came just like that..”

“Please, gimme more..” the wanton little way you ask rips heat through Sunghoon’s lower back, hips jerking forward to rut his length up and down between your slit, the tip bumping and rubbing along your engorged clit menacingly.

“You’ll make me crazy—“ he groans, hand slinking down between your pressed bodies to grip around his cock and tease the tip through your wetness. “—talking like that.”

“S-so big, feel so open,” you keep whining, snaking around his neck to tangle your fingers through the sweaty hair lining his nape. “Never f-felt so stretched.”

“Fuck.” Sunghoon growls, tapping at your entrance repeatedly, abdomen locked tight indenting each muscle lined up to his chest. “W-wanna cum.. on your gaped hole.”

“Please, please give me—that,” your neck bows upward, throat on display gleaming with a heavy layer of sweat, beads trickling down between your bouncing breasts.

Sunghoon huffs, knees rutting against the hardwood floor hard enough to blossom red marks upon his skin to find later. He glides through the wet thick between your pussy again and again, shooting the arousal to spark out around his length and soak your inner thighs in the mess. “Yeah? Tell me, wanna hear y-you say it, ask for it.”

Shifting to grip around your thighs, he hoists your butt up again, the bulbous tip of his cock piercing through your stretched rim with ease; stroking in and out just to watch it disappear and edge himself further. “Ask for it.” He growls again, ordering with a firm slap to your thigh.

“Ah! Hoon!“

“Don’t make me repeat myself again.” Another strike stings across your upper thigh, clenching together from the impact sending a shot of nerves up Sunghoon’s cock.

“Please—cum all over my ass.”

A low rumbled groan emits from his chest, keeping you held up with one flexed bicep curled around your thigh, gripping at the base of his length to squeeze down to the middle of his cock. The head throbs between your ass, jerking the rest of his girth off until his balls finally squeeze up tight between his legs, lips curled in with sharp eyebrows furrowed together in anguish as the first shot of release jumps free.

“Oh—fuck,” he grits, teeth biting down on his tucked in bottom lip as he tugs harshly at his size, eyes wide and struck by the streaks of white blown across your hole, some dripping down to your unused pussy, drawing another round of cum to spill out and paint your ass in nothing but creamy white.

“So warm..” you moan, eyes rolling up as you can feel yourself clench around the bubbling arousal trickling through the cavern of your asshole, warm and sticky on the slide down. 

Sunghoon groans long and loud, having to clench his eyes shut to stop himself from plunging his cock back in and out of you one more time just to watch his cum seep out around the expanse of his length pushing you to your limits. “Liked that didn’t you.” He states more than asking, grasping the base of his size to cool the incessant need to feel your suffocating heat one more time.

“Did really good for me.” He says, cupping under your knees to haul your legs open and bite at the inside of your thigh, sending your ribcage up as your back lifts from the floor with a moan. “Wish you could see how good it looks.” He mutters against your soft flesh, lapping down to your upper inner thigh for a closer look of his cum dripping from your hole to the floor. “How fucking nasty your hole looks, fucked raw like a no good filthy whore.”

His lips confuse the humiliation crashing down like brutal waves, distracting you as he bites along the juncture where your thigh meets groin, burying his teeth down deep enough to sprout a trickle of blood. The mumble of his on-going degradation hardly affects you, more turned on by his deep rasp vibrating between your thighs and shocked by his tongue passing over the cum that's nearly dried up between your pussy folds.

Sunghoon kisses up your thighs over the teeth marks left behind, met with a coppery taste as he licks at the now deep sharp indentations. The jagged edges of his canines scrap across your skin every now and then, jolting shivers up your chest and halting your breath. He works a path of tender kisses and nips up past your mound, taking extra time to suck blood up to the surface along your hip bones and waist as he makes way to your breasts and watches you with fierce intent while rolling your hardened nipple along his tongue, sucking it to press against the roof of his mouth.

“Did I make you cry?” Sunghoon frowns, seeming genuinely concerned. Having to pry his lips away from your nipples to gently sweep his thumbs across your cheeks to clean away the remnants of dry and fresh tears. Even if you look extra pretty and make his heart skip the more salty wetness gathers at your waterline.

“Yes—but not you. Made me feel too good.. you’re supposed to scare me..” you say, cheeks aflame with embarrassment.

“I told you I’d protect you from the boogeyman, even if I am the boogeyman.” Sunghoon grins, chasing your lips for a kiss. “Can’t lie and say I don’t like to hear you scream and watch you cry though..”

“So, next time—“

“Next time?” Sunghoon’s eyes light up, cupping the back of your head to brush his lips down the bridge of your nose. “Already planning for next time?”

“Next timeee,” you say coyly, shoving his shoulders away to turn your bodies over together and press his back to the floor. “I’ll chase you.”

Sunghoon’s lips pout, eyebrows raised curiously. “What? Wanna make me scream?” He says with a wicked glint behind his gaze, smoothing up your hips to hold your waist firmly. “Think you can catch me?”

“We need a trilogy.” You wink, scratching down his pale chest.

“Trilogy?”

“That’s right. It’s a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist.” You quote, tickling up to his throat to cuff your hands around. “And it is a force to be reckoned with.”

Sunghoon fic recs

@asahicore Cherry Pits

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Dilf!hoon x younger!fem reader, neighbors to lovers

Word Count: 12.9k

Synopsis: Your alarmingly empty bank account forces you to find a last-minute summer job so that you can afford a trip with your friends. The extremely handsome customer that comes into the store just happens to be a young single dad who's renovating the old house next to yours. The tension that settles between the two of you as you start helping him fix up his house soon becomes unbearable, but it's all one-sided anyway, right?

More fics under cut!

@asahicore Stupid In Love

This fic contains smut

Pairing: hoon x fem reader, childhood best friends to lovers

Word Count: 22.1k

Synopsis: One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.

@jaylaxies To All The Boys I’ve Fucked Before, To The Boy: Who Took Me To Prom

This fic contains smut

pairing: Best friends brother!hoon x fem reader

Word Count: 19.6k

Synopsis: Prom—the last event of senior high school was right around the corner, but the only person who you wanted to go with had rejected you for his own reasons, leaving you upset and unwilling to attend the event. however, your best friend, mina, was hellbent on making you attend it and being a sweetheart, she ends up persuading her brother, sunghoon, to be your date for the night.

@zreamy SPF 23

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader

Word Count: 31.8k

Synopsis: For as long as you can remember, your summers have been much the same, largely spent in your hometown, relaxing by the local pool. when you get back home this summer, things seem like they'll go the same way, until you get to the pool that is — when did the lifeguard get so hot?

@neo-percs Deep End

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Rich!Sunghoon x fem!reader

Word Count: 36.6k

Synopsis: After saving Sunghoon from drowning at the local pool; y/n offers to give him swimming lessons which leads into way more than expected.

@simpjaes Night Shift

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Boss/ Cam boy!hoon x afab reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Synopsis: Sunghoon, a keen and professional man between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM. ServiceKing, a faceless and proud man between the hours of 9 PM to 12 AM. Sunghoon’s secret night-life has nothing to do with the faces he sees day after day...until it does.

Or the one where you pay for a one on one call with a faceless cam guy you’ve been watching for a little while, and the next day your boss is avoiding you like the plague. 

@simpjaes Day Shift

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Boss/ Cam boy!hoon x afab reader

Word Count: 14.5k

Synopsis: After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesn’t appear to be nearly enough time to erase what’s happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided.

Or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isn’t an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy. 

@jlheon Love Exists, I’m Full Of It

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Situationship!hoon x fem reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Synopsis: When park sunghoon breaks up with his long time girlfriend he needs something to get his mind off her, you happen to be the perfect distraction : a girl who’s naive and has never had a boyfriend

My 1st fic rec list! I hope you all love it, I worked super hard to pick my favs so i hope you all enjoy!

— 10 the wedding [4.9k w]

MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

PAIRING: brothers bsf! sunghoon x f!reader

WARNINGS: cussing, unprotected sex, oral sex (f and m receiving) MDNI!!!!

AUTHORS NOTE: ITS FINALLY HEREEE, the turning point in the story hehe hope you all enjoy. likes and reblogs appreciated <3 HEAVY ON THE MDNI PLEASE

As you and Sunghoon step foot in Japan, excitement fills the air. You make your way to the hotel, the both of you in the back of a cab enjoying the scenic views of Osaka. light conversation flows between sunghoon and the cab driver while you lean your head against the window, trying your best not to fall asleep.

when you finally arrive at the hotel, you tiredly make your way to the back of the car to grab your suitcase, though sunghoon beats you to it, grabbing both yours and his, giving you a tired smile “i got it”. you reciprocate his smile and mutter a small thanks, admiring his gentlemanly gesture.

you both make your way to the check in at the lobby. “I only have one room available, double bed if that’s ok?” the receptionist tells you. you and sunghoon look at each other and he shrugs. “that’s fine, thank you” you take the room key and sunghoon leads the way, still pushing both of your suitcases towards your designated room.

sunghoon opens the door and as you both enter your eyes widen in realization. "maybe when she said double bed she meant one bed meant for two…” you state as you stare at the one bed. he looks at you “indeed there is one bed… i’ll take the couch” you look over to said couch, there was absolutely no way sunghoon’s large self was going to fit on the tiny little couch in the corner. hell you probably didn’t even fit.

“no we can share the bed it’s fine” you tell him, too tired to even think about the possible consequences of being so close in proximity to your “boyfriend” for the weekend. “are you sure? i’ll be fine on the couch” he furrows his brows, genuinely questioning whether you’re okay with it. “sunghoon im sorry but you do not fit on that tiny ass couch” he chuckles “ok, bed it is then”.

you both begin to settle in, going about your night routines. You shower first, doing your extensive skin care routine and changing into a more comfortable outfit. You have to admit your pajamas were a tiny bit skimpy and definitely not appropriate for your current situation but you didn’t think you’d be sharing a room, much less a bed.

when you’re done getting settled, you pull down the cover and climb in to the big white comfy bed. you hear the shower turn off, the bathroom door slightly ajar. curiosity takes over and you slightly peek through the door, catching sight in sunghoon in nothing but a white hotel towel wrapped around his waist. you stare at his large muscular form for a couple of seconds but look away once you feel the heat creeping up on your face. “get it together y/n” you mutter to yourself.

you place a pillow between you as a barrier. It's a cliché move, but it makes you feel more at ease. when sunghoon comes out of the bathroom dressed (thank god) he chuckles at the pillow in between your spots. he lifts the covers, pausing in his tracks once he sees what you’re wearing, a pink silky tank top and shorts that sends a shiver down his spine. he quickly pulls the covers over his body, shaking those not so innocent thoughts out of his head. you exchange a few words, wishing each other goodnight, before drifting off to sleep.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

The next morning, as the sunlight gently streams into the room, you stir awake. you feel an unusual weight around your waist. confusion fills your mind, slightly lifting the covers only to realize sunghoon had complete disregarded the barrier and inched as close to you as possible during his sleep.

you turn your head to face him, he looks so peaceful and you can’t help but admire his perfectly sculpted face. his perfect bushy eyebrows, his long lashes, and the tiny moles that were so gracefully scattered in the most precise places. you quickly catch yourself in your own thoughts, carefully slipping out of sunghoon's embrace.

you head toward the bathroom, deciding to get ready for the day. today was the you had been dreading. jeno’s wedding. in all honesty you were more nervous about your situation with sunghoon rather than being in attendance at your first loves wedding. there’s just so many things that can go wrong. you just wish luck was on your side.

you finish your makeup, opting for a more natural, pinky look when you hear Sunghoon yawn. you peak your head out the bathroom and see him stretching, clearly unaware of how he held you during the night. "Morning, how’d you sleep?" he asks, his eyes still filled with sleep.

“pretty good, you?” “this bed is so fucking comfortable” he answers throwing himself back down, staring at the ceiling. “and you wanted to sleep on that fuckass couch” you laugh. “listen I am a gentleman and there was no way I was sharing the bed if you felt uncomfortable” “well i appreciate it, I also thought the bed was pretty fucking comfortable” you both laugh and he begins to pull the covers off his body so he can join you in getting ready for the day.

“any plans before the wedding?” he approaches the sink, grabbing his toothbrush. “uh I was thinking of going to the beach… if you wanna tag along” you avoid contact, trying to avoid how domestic this all feels. “yeah maybe we can grab lunch at that little restaurant we saw yesterday” he asks still in the process of brushing his teeth. “sounds good to me”.

after your plans are set in place, he stares at you for what feels forever. it makes you nervous “w-what?”, “i kinda need to change, would you mind… getting out?” “OH YEAH sorry, i’ll be over there… waiting… take your time” you quickly leave the restroom and miss the way he smiles at your actions.

you take advantage of the little time you have alone and change into an outfit more suitable for the beach. you opt for a lovely two piece with a white top and matching skirt. you’re in the middle of pulling up your hair into a half up half down style when sunghoon comes out of the bathroom wearing a white button up, the sleeves rolled up showing off his impressive forearms, and black pants. Sunghoon was amongst the small population of men who actually had a sense of fashion.

you glance back at him through the mirror, quickly looking away when your eyes meet. he found the way you were so nervous around him so fucking cute. you had always been so outspoken and outgoing so seeing you slowly fall apart at his presence was something he liked a lot more than he should. “ready to go?” he asks once he shakes all those thoughts off. “yeah” you reply while gathering your stuff into your cute shoulder bag, and out the door you were.

•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

You both decide to take a walk along the beach, enjoying the sun and the sound of crashing waves. As you lay on your towel, soaking in the warmth, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. Sunghoon sat next to you, his camera in hand, capturing the beauty of the ocean and the clear blue sky.

"can I take a picture of you?" Sunghoon asked, his eyes soft and warm.

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks as you nodded, feeling a strange mix of embarrassment and excitement. Sunghoon snapped a few shots, his gaze lingering on you a little longer than necessary. It all felt so domestic, so intimate, and you hated how much you liked it.

After spending some time at the beach, you and Sunghoon decided to grab lunch at a nearby restaurant. As you waited for your food, you engaged in light conversation, talking about anything and everything.

"Are you nervous about Jenos' wedding?" Sunghoon asked, his eyes searching yours.

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. "Not really. I'm more nervous about our little scheme and it getting back to Heeseung somehow."

Sunghoon chuckled, his gaze never leaving yours. "don't worry, he won’t find out. And if it helps, I'm not nervous at all."

His words sent a flutter of warmth through your chest, and you couldn't help but feel a little giddy. Sunghoon was always so charming, so effortlessly smooth, and it made your head spin.

As you and Sunghoon were engrossed in your conversation, a waitress approached your table, checking in to see if everything was okay. She smiled warmly at the two of you before her eyes lingered a little longer than necessary, a knowing look in her gaze.

"You two make such a cute couple," the waitress commented, causing you to sputter in surprise.

"Oh, we're not together," you quickly clarified, feeling a rush of embarrassment wash over you.

The waitress raised an eyebrow, a playful smile on her lips. "Well, you should be. You both would look great together."

Sunghoon glanced at you with a small smirk before turning back to the waitress. "Well, thank you," he said, a hint of amusement in his tone.

You felt your cheeks flush with heat, a mix of embarrassment and flustered emotions swirling inside you. Sunghoon thought it was cute, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in your chest at his reaction.

The rest of the meal passed in a haze of laughter and stolen glances, the memory of the waitress's comment lingering in the air between you and Sunghoon. And as you left the restaurant, you walked side by side back to the hotel in a comfortable silence, the both of you mentally preparing for the act you’ll have to put on later.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

back at the hotel, you stepped out of the bathroom, ready for Jenos' wedding, Sunghoon couldn't help but feel a pang of admiration at the sight of you. The black dress with a floral pattern hugged your curves in all the right places, the open back and off-the-shoulder design adding a touch of elegance to your ensemble. Your hair was styled beautifully, and your makeup was done to perfection, enhancing your natural beauty.

Sunghoon had seen the dress on you before, after all he’s the once who bought it for you when you went shopping for the occasion, but with your hair and makeup all done up, it was like seeing you in a whole new light. It was hard not to admire how the dress accentuated your body and how soft your skin looked. He had to remind himself that his best friend would not appreciate him ogling his little sister.

"You look stunning," Sunghoon complimented, his gaze lingering on you.

You blushed, a shy smile gracing your lips. "Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself," you returned the compliment.

Sunghoon was dressed in a three-piece suit, but he had opted to leave the button-up shirt behind, wearing only a leather vest under his blazer, which showed off his chest and his fancy Tiffany necklace. He thanked you for the compliment, his eyes soft and warm.

As you both got ready to head out for the wedding, Sunghoon brought up the plan, wanting to make sure you were completely okay with it and didn't want to back out before it was too late. You reassured him that everything was fine and that you were comfortable with him by your side.

The car ride to the wedding was filled with a whirlwind of emotions and feelings for you. You tried to prepare yourself for what was to come, knowing that the night ahead would bring about a mix of nostalgia, longing, and perhaps even a hint of uncertainty. But with Sunghoon by your side, you felt a sense of calm and reassurance that helped ease your nerves.

you and sunghoon approached the wedding venue, the tension in the air was palpable. Sunghoon immediately sprang into action, going around the car to open the door for you. His hand extended to help you out of the car, and before you knew it, his arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you close. You could feel the heat of his touch through your dress, and his lips brushed against your ear as he whispered, "Are you ready?"

The intimacy of the moment caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but be surprised by Sunghoon's commitment to the act. You replied with a soft, "More ready than I'll ever be," feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement building in the pit of your stomach.

As you entered the venue, you were greeted by the sight of beautiful decor and flowers adorning every inch of the room. Sunghoon's large hand remained firmly on your waist, guiding you through the crowd with ease. He seemed to be the most comfortable and relaxed, his confidence shining through in his actions.

When it came time to take your seats, you were unsure of where to sit, on the groom's side or the bride's side. Sunghoon made the decision, choosing to sit on the bride's side. You couldn't help but wonder if his choice was strategic, positioning you both in a way that Jeno could see you. whether that was the case or not, you didn't mind one bit.

As you settled into your seats, Sunghoon gave you a warm smile and took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together and placing them on his lap. His eyes locked with yours, and you felt a rush of heat spread through you. You tried to focus on the decor and the guests in their best attire, but Sunghoon's presence was impossible to ignore.

You couldn't help but wonder if Sunghoon had previous experience in fake dating or if he had been preparing diligently for this moment. His ease and confidence in the situation left you both impressed and slightly flustered.

Your attention was soon drawn to the end of the aisle, where Jeno, your first and only love, began to make his way down. He greeted the guests, his eyes finding yours and then narrowing slightly as he saw Sunghoon sitting next to you, hand in hand. He seemed a bit confused. he dated you for years and was no stranger to the fact that heeseung was very protective over you. he found it a little strange that he’d be ok with his best friend dating you out of all people, but he had more important things to focus on as he made his way to the altar to marry the love of his life.

The ceremony began, and Jeno stood at the altar, surrounded by a variety of beautiful flowers, waiting for his bride to walk down the aisle. The weight of the situation settled on you, and you reminisce on your past relationship. thinking about how this could’ve been your wedding and you would’ve been the one walking down the isle in a beautiful white dress, marrying the love of your life.

music filled the air, signaling the bride's entrance, all the guests stood up in anticipation. The bride looked radiant in her white gown, gracefully making her way down the aisle, her eyes locked on Jeno. He looked so in love, looking at his wife to be the way he once looked at you. a pang of nostalgia hit you square in the chest. Sunghoon noticed your reaction and lightly squeezed your hand, offering a silent comfort.

"Are you okay?" Sunghoon whispered, concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah, just a little caught off guard," you replied, trying to push aside the wave of emotions.

The ceremony proceeded swiftly, with the exchange of vows and rings, culminating in the couple sealing their marriage with a kiss. You felt genuinely happy for Jeno, despite the past that lay between you. You knew that one day, you would also experience the joy of finding true love and sharing your life with someone special.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

After the ceremony, the guests moved to the cocktail hour, where friends and family mingled and caught up. Jeno and his wife made their way over to you and Sunghoon, and Jeno greeted you warmly, thanking you for coming. Sunghoon instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist as you exchanged pleasantries.

"Y/N! Long time no see. Thanks for coming," Jeno said with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks for the invite, and congratulations," you replied, trying to keep your composure.

you turn to sunghoon, introducing him "this is Sunghoon, my boyfriend," you added, gesturing the tall man.

Jeno shook Sunghoon's hand firmly. "Of course, how could I forget, Heeseung's best friend right?" Jeno said.

Sunghoon forced a smile. "that’s right. thanks for inviting us. congratulations”

“this is Karina, my wife” jeno introduces, “hi!! thank you so much for coming!” her bubbly personality and happiness doesn’t fail to radiate from her.

“so when did you two get together?” jeno asks, his tone full of curiosity. “um we-“ perhaps you should discussed this with sunghoon ahead of time. “-about six months ago, we always knew we had feelings for each other but of course heeseung was the reason we couldn’t act on it, but we’ve been happy, right, baby?” he presses his lips against your cheek and pulls away with a smile.

the pet name and the kiss, it was all too much and the shiver you felt down your spine at his words was one you wanted to feel over and over again. “yeah, it was hard in the beginning but i wouldn’t change anything about it” you reply looking over at sunghoon who’s gaze was already fixed on you.

“you two are such a cute couple! i expect an invite to your wedding too” karina says to both of you, effortlessly joining the conversation.

"Of course, whenever the day comes," you replied, feeling slightly flustered.

your conversation was short lived as the couple was whisked away by the photographer. you let out a deep breath that you didn’t even know you had been holding in. you turn to sunghoon once again, "Do you think they bought it?" you whispered.

"Yeah, but loosen up a bit. You're too nervous," Sunghoon advised, giving you a reassuring smile.

Taking his advice, you both took a sip of the champagne being served, letting the tension of the evening melt away as you embraced the role you were playing.

｡ ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

As the night progressed, you and Sunghoon mingled with the other guests, engaging in light conversations and enjoying the festivities. At one point, you excused yourself to touch up your lip gloss in the bathroom. When you emerged, you caught sight of one of the bridesmaids practically throwing herself at Sunghoon. jealousy surged through you, even though you knew he wasn't your real boyfriend. Blaming it on the alcohol coursing through your veins, you mustered up a boldness you didn't know you had and walked over to them.

"I'm back, baby," you said, pressing your lips to his in a light peck. Sunghoon was clearly caught off guard by your sudden display of affection.

"Who's this?" you asked, taking Sunghoon's arm and throwing it over your shoulder.

"I'm Winter," the bridesmaid responded with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Well, Winter, thanks for keeping my boyfriend company, but I'm back now. You can leave," you said, your tone direct and firm.

Winter rolled her eyes at you, turning to Sunghoon and giving him a flirty smile as she handed him a tiny piece of paper. "Call me if you get bored," she said with a wink before striding away.

You were clearly pissed off, snatching the paper from Sunghoon and crumpling it in your hand. "Fucking bitch," you muttered under your breath.

"What was that all about?" Sunghoon asked, confusion evident in his expression.

"Sorry, I think I'm a little drunk," you replied, trying to brush off the incident.

Sunghoon teased you about being jealous and playing into the role a little too well. However, in the back of his mind, he couldn't shake the feeling of the tingling sensation on his lips from the unexpected kiss. He grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing server, gulping it down in one sip, trying to distract himself from the swirling emotions that had been stirred up by the encounter. Sunghoon realized he was in trouble, and the evening was far from over.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

when you both had enough, you made your way back to the hotel, you and Sunghoon both lost count of how many drinks you had. The alcohol had blurred your senses, making everything feel a bit hazy and carefree.

"You look so sexy tonight," you whispered to Sunghoon, your inhibitions loosened by the effects of the drinks. "I'd be lying if you calling me 'baby' didn't turn me on."

Sunghoon's moral compass tried to reason with him, warning him that giving in to your advances might lead to regret in the morning. But the fog of alcohol clouded his judgment, and his desires began to outweigh his reservations.

"Yeah?" Sunghoon replied, his voice laced with a hint of desire.

“mhm” You scooted closer to him, cradling his face in your hands, the tension between you palpable. The atmosphere crackled with anticipation until finally, you both leaned in and shared a kiss. The moment was filled with a mix of longing and intoxication, the chemistry between you undeniable.

As the car pulled up to the hotel, you both hurriedly exited, continuing your intimate moment as you made your way to the elevator. The air between you was charged with electricity, your hearts racing with anticipation.

Once inside the elevator, the confined space only heightened the intensity of the moment. You and Sunghoon couldn't resist each other, and your make-out session continued, growing more heated with each passing moment.

When you finally reached your room, Sunghoon wraps his arms around your waist from behind, pressing kisses against your neck as you fumbled with the door, his growing length pressing against your backside. The desire between you was undeniable, and the night held the promise of passion and forbidden desires that neither of you could resist.

when you finally manage to get the door open, sunghoon eagerly urges you inside, closeing the door behind him as you turn around, pressing your lips to his once again, in a sloppy kiss.

sunghoon wasted no time in taking control of your body. He kissed you hungrily running his hands over your curves as he explored every inch of you. you moaned with pleasure as sunghoon’s fingers found their way to the zipper on the back of your dress. he pauses in his actions, looking at you through your hooded eyes, silently asking for permission to take off your dress, you nod and you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

"Fuck," sunghoon muttered under his breath, clearly enjoying himself. "You're so fucking hot." he lets out praises as he gently throws you on the bed, climbing on top.

you couldn't believe what was happening. you’d always been attracted to sunghoon, but you never thought it’d get to the point where the two of you were so desperate and needy for each others touch.

you push off his blazer, your fingers beginning to fumble with the buttons on the leather vest he had underneath. he grew impatient taking matters into his own hands and taking it off in record time. you pull him back down by his neck, pressing your lips to his once again.

his lips continue to trail down the valley of your breasts, soft moans coming out of you involuntarily. he uncalsps your bra expertly, engulfing your tit in his big hand, taking the other the other into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. tiny gasps escape your lips, his attention diverting to you other breast.

he begins peppering kisses all the way down your body, feeling that heat pooling in your lower tummy as he gets closer and closer to where you need him most.

he teases you, leaving wet kisses on your thighs and right above the seam of your cute black lace panties. “h-hoonie don’t tease p-please” you manage to get out and fuck does that nickname make him even harder. “tell me what you want baby” he tells you in a whisper, looking up to find your eyes. “want your tongue” you tell him in response, eyes fill with lust and desire.

“yeah? my baby wants me to eat her pretty pussy?” his words make you let out a moan “fuck yes hoonie, n-ned your tongue”. without another word his fingers loop under the band of your panties, tugging them off in one smooth motion.

“fuck pretty you’re so wet for me” his tongue darted out, like a stripe up your slit, making you moan with pleasure, he savors the taste “knew you’d taste so fucking good” and with another lick, he’s plunging his tongue in your wet hole. your back arches and your fingers thread through his hair, lightly tugging, “yes hoonie, right there, keep going”.

his lips work their way up to the little bundle of nerves, sucking on your clit. he inserts his long finger, and then another, the combination make you see stars. “s-shit hoon im close” you moan out. at your words, he adds a third finger, stretching you open getting rougher with the way he was plunging his digits inside your wet cunt.

“cum for me pretty, let me hear you”.

a couple more pumps and you were coming undone on his fingers, letting out a pornographic moan. despite your orgasm washing over you, sunghoon continues to lick at your cunt, beginning to overstimulate you. as much as you love his tongue, you need to have his cock in your mouth.

you pull him by his shoulders, signaling for him to come up. he hovers over your body, pulling his lips to yours, you taste yourself on his tongue, his chin messy with your juices.

you use all your weight to flip him over, taking him by surprise as you straddle him. you kiss his lips once again, trailing down his neck and his muscular toned body. he’d been hiding these abs this whole time??? you quickly work on getting his pants off, pushing both his pants and boxers down in one go.

his thick, long cock springs out, slapping against his abdomen. you take it in your hand, wrapping it around his length while holding eye contact. he lets out a shuddery breath “s-shit baby, you don’t have to”. already knowing what you were planning to do.

you giving him an innocent look that drives him crazy, “it’s ok, i want to”. you stroke him a couple times before leaning down to lick his pink mushroom tip. a glob of salvia leaves your lips, mixing with his pre cum, coating his thick shaft.

he lets out a groan, his eyes fluttering shut and his arm going behind his head, meanwhile his other hand tangles through your hair, his grip somehow making you even hornier.

without warning, you take him into your warm mouth. swallowing his length and stroking what didn’t fit with your hand.

the sight was one he never thought he’d ever be seeing. the pleasure was all too much for him.

“fuck baby, you’re doing so good f’me”

you sucked and stroked sunghoon’s cock, your mouth and hand working in tandem to bring him to the brink of orgasm. sunghoon’s breathing grew shallow and quick, his hips thrusting forward as he fucked your mouth.

Just as sunghoon was about to cum, you pulled back, a smile on your face. you stood up, pressing your body against his, grinding your hips against his.

"not yet," you whispered in his ear. "I want you to come while i ride you”

climbing onto his lap, he almost came insistently at your words and lustful voice. “i need you inside me”

sunghoon grunted with pleasure as you grabbed him, aligning him with your entrance. you slid down his cock, your pussy tightening around him. He couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement at the feeling of your wet heat against his erection.

"Fuck, you feel good," he moaned, his hands gripping your hips as he thrust upward.

you gasped with each stroke, your body trembling with pleasure. you had never felt anything like this before, and you were loving every minute of it. “you’re s-so big”

"keep riding me like that baby," Sunghoon groaned, gripping you ass "I don't want to cum yet."

you followed his instructions, bouncing up and down on his cock as he continued to thrust upward. you could feel his cock growing thicker with each stroke, and you couldn't wait for him cum

"shit, you’re so fucking tight" Sunghoon grunted, losing control. “i’m so close baby, cum with me”

“i’m cumming” you shuddered with pleasure. “where do you want me to cum pretty?” “inside hoonie, n-need you inside, m’on the pill” within seconds you felt the warm liquid coating your walls.

"Fuck, you're amazing," Sunghoon breathed as he leaned up to kiss you.

you reciprocate his kiss, pulling his softening cock out of you as you collapse onto the bed next to him.

his arms instinctively wrap around you, his lips showering you in small neck kisses. the both of you too tired and in a haze to do any after care, the exhaustion kicks in and you both drift off to sleep, a mess of tangled limbs under the white covers.

you both didn’t know what you were in for the next morning, too caught up in the pleasure to realize that you’ve just made the biggest mistake.

｡ ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

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shy guys are the worst’s ( p.sunghoon )

synopsis: where your recent boyfriend wears a white sleeveless shirt in front of you for the first time, making you shocked and asking him to wrap those worked arms around your neck.

( 엔하이픈 ) - recentbf!sunghoon x fem.reader ; fluff , VERY suggestive ,, ( words : 2,7k+ )

──── bookshelf .

warnings: heated make out session, sunghoon is horny? , reader has a small body compared to sunghoon, business proposal ( k-drama ) reference; samantha and rachel ( if you know, you know *blink blink* ) — non-sexual content, don’t worry hehe

note: HELLAUR ITS MEY ~ explain me what is happening to enha these days bro? they are INSANELY attractive!!!!!!!!!!! whata fack ?!!! oh and i hope our jay is recovering ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

you remember meeting sunghoon by mutual friends. his quite shy personality made you feel intimidated since it conflicted with your opposite personality. those mutual friends warned you that he always been like that; when you told them that you thought he ( sunghoon ) didn’t like you.

what you didn’t expect was that one day that coy and intriguing young man would make the first move. you were definitely not expecting that one day he would reach out to you by asking for your number. well, sunghoon didn’t directly ask for your number — or right away —, he obviously asked for someone else to give him your contact; building a process of a ton of words frying and messing up with his head before sending you a simple: “hi, it’s sunghoon.”

oh gosh, he lost you.

that’s what he thought, but here it comes the biggest plot twist of his love life: “hey sunghoon! how did you get my number?”. he thanked you mentally for being that social butterfly and not make his dry ass text become something for him to be ashamed about; and overthink when closing his eyes at night.

the conversation continued as the time passed by. sometimes even lasting longer than two hours, four hours… until! everything began to change a little. sunghoon started to be a bit more flirty with you, leaving your guys friends dumbfounded sometimes. even you were out of words when he flirted with you!

but those little actions were significantly important and relevant, since it indicated that he was trusting on you; and lost the feeling of shame and embarrassment in front of you. you smiled when you realised it, and began to do the same: feel more free to interact with sunghoon.

and thankfully you did that as well, because now, three months later, he asked if he could be your boyfriend, and let’s say that you were very happy? i mean, very very happy, because when sunghoon asked if he could be your boyfriend you jumped onto his arms and kissed his cheeks with much more feelings than you ever did before.

and now, here we are, one month after the day sunghoon and you started to share a couple of feelings; and build a totally new bond together.

“what are you doing?” the familiar masculine voice echoed from upstairs, slowly turning into a more closer voice as you heard quiet steps coming from the stairs.

“nothin’.” you answered with a prominent bored tone, like your mouth was melting and almost fusing with the sofa’s cushion; as your face was smashed against the velvet material. “just watching a film.” you murmured while gazing at the television.

“what kind of film?” you felt his voice close to you, and also felt a new sense of warmth wrap around your body.

you shrugged, turning to look at the warmth’s donator. “hi.” you heard your boyfriend whisper as he grinned when he saw your pouty face.

“hi…” you pouted and began to play with a few lost strands of hair sunghoon hasn’t fixed.

“are you tired?” he nuzzled his face against the crook of your neck and started to rub his nose against the sensitive area.

you sighed, shrugging, murmuring as a reply: “just bored.”

“why are you bored? if you’re bored i have something fun that we can do together…” he playfully spoke, his brows going up and down as he teased, letting out a big smile as he watched your ‘seriously?’ kind of face. “just kidding…” he whispered against your ear, kissing your temple and tightening the hug he held.

“have you showered?” you asked him after smelling a good type of a familiar manly scent.

“yeah, why?” he placed a innocent kiss onto your neck.

“you smell good.” you shrugged.

“thank you baby, so do you.” sunghoon softly smiled at you. “i’ll cook something for us, yeah?” your boyfriend was the first to break the comfortable silence that was created between both of you, placing a peck onto your forehead.

not even waiting for your response, he stood up from the sofa and walked away in silence. — he’s probably at the kitchen: you thought. so after a few minutes you decided to see what was happening at the room, since you weren’t smelling anything different from the air spray you had sprayed when finishing the house cleaning earlier.

sloppy steps echoed from your slippers, making your presence at the kitchen noticeable and obvious. however, when walking in the room you saw nothing but a empty kitchen. pouting as you were about to leave the area, steps were heard, and they were getting closer, leaving you breathless when glancing at your boyfriend.

“park sunghoon…” you whispered, snapping a hand of yours onto your face as you tried to cover your opened mouth: it was very close to make your mouth water with the view.

“yeah?” he lifted his head to look at you as he was fixing the hem of your white tank top. “why did you call me that?” he giggled, finding your action funny — as he never had experienced being called by his full name with that face expression; especially coming from you.

you couldn’t even talk properly. it felt like you forgot how to speak or forgot who you were. the only thing you could possibly focus at the moment was how hot he looked wearing a sleeveless shirt. “you look so hot…” you whispered again while switching the hand that once was covering your watering mouth to a pointing finger.

“huh?” sunghoon pretended like he didn’t hear, hugging your waist and placing a kiss onto your neck.

oh, the shy ones are the worse ones! — you thought, feeling your teeth unconsciously clenching together.

“nothing…” your voice suddenly got weak as you enjoyed the way he was showering your neck with sloppy kisses.

“always saying ‘nothing’, yeah?” he teased once again, leaving your neck alone as he lifted his head to look at you, biting his bottom lip in a cocky way; showing his pretty, sharp fangs.

“yah!” you spoke up. “jus-t g-go make us s-some food!” your shaky hands pushed him.

as you pushed him and consequently touched his chest, you felt how raw the skin of his chest felt against the palm of your hand. you hadn’t pushed him hard, it was just a way to make him slightly distant from you as you tried to take a moment to breath. the way your hand was simply standing in front/near of your field of vision, showing no signs of returning to the side of your body where it ‘belongs’, gave away your true reaction; and denounced the way your heart was beating, like it was discomposed somehow.

“baby.” he called you but you didn’t hear. “y/n.” and he finally felt your eyes meeting his; you glanced up at him with a hint of awe and glistening eyes, and sunghoon swears he felt dizzy with the vision of your vulnerability — not in any weird way, but in a cute way, proud that he makes you feel that way. “are you okay cutie?” he didn’t waste time to hold your waist again, tightening the grip, not letting you even try to push him away; like you did.

“yeah.” you answered, nodding your head as you came back to reality.

“mhm… are you really hungry?” he asked between kisses as he pulled you to a deep kiss. “i know i” kiss. “told you” kiss. “i was going to cook for you” kiss. “but,” kiss. “fuck…” kiss. “are you really that hungry?” lip bite.

“mhm,” you hummed against his lips. “why?” your muffled voice made him chuckle, pulling away from your lips and gently pulling your head — by the nape — closer to his, but instead of pulling to face him, he pulled closer to whisper in your ear:

“because,” he paused. “i’m a bit hungry,” he silently giggled, already predicting what he was about to say. “so i was wondering if you could be my meal…”

again, you repeat: shy guys are the worse ones.

hours later you were cuddling with sunghoon. he was the bigger spoon and you never get tired of the sweet melody of his heartbeats against your ear buds. you also like to hear his breathing sounds because it makes you remember that he trust on you like he never did before; and how both of yours relationship changed over the past few months: thanks to those mutual friends.

cuddling with sunghoon constantly made you forget about the world around you, except that, you didn’t forget about the earlier scene of his muscles being flexed in front of you; and how his muscly chest felt against the palm of your hand when you softly pushed him. and then you realised that sunghoon has a very muscular body, like all the mornings he has been working out were actually having some effect on his physical and on you.

you glanced up to gaze at your boyfriend’s face, meeting his shut eyes and serene face expression as he looked like dream land has kidnapped him from you. chuckling, you gently pulled sunghoon’s heavy arm away from yours — that was prisoned under his — and cupped his cheek. completing your action and finally taking some time to admire his beautiful peaceful face, smiling as you wondered how you got so lucky to have him.

“what are you doing?” he softly whispered as he pulled your body to lay onto his broad chest.

“mhm~ watching you sleep– wait, you weren’t sleeping?” you cocked a brow, a smirk spreading across your lips, infecting his lips as well.

“i was, but your big eyes bothered me.” he teased, quickly pecking your lips and you realised his eyes looked quite sleepy/droopy.

a moment of silence infected the atmosphere, plaguing your face with a half-hearted smile as you got a bit embarrassed watching how your boyfriend’s eyes couldn’t leave your face. “why are you looking at me like that?” you chuckled, hiding your face against his neck.

“don’t hide your face, lemme see you…” sunghoon spoke, almost whining. even though he plead you to let your face meet his eyes, he just giggled at your cuteness and caressed your head, taking good care of your hair as he brushed a few tangled strands.

another moment of silence flooded the room, but it wasn’t suffocating you or sunghoon. actually, it was quite the opposite. however, if it wasn’t the atmosphere suffocating you, it was sunghoon’s scent that was stronger than ever. why was he way more attractive than he has ever been?

you even pondered the possibility of your period coming up. because, you know, biology facts? pheromones, testosterone, you know… overwhelmingly by the presence of your man and wondering how hot he looked while washing the dishes — okay, moving on because i’m feeling like i’m getting a bit carried away.

the silence also made you remember about a video you had seen and sent sunghoon this week, before he openly revealed his muscular body through his white — almost see through — tank top, that consisted of a girl lip syncing a tiktok audio while her partner’s muscular arm was wrapped around her neck, in a headlock to be more precise.

of course he wasn’t tightly holding her neck into a headlock, he was just wrapping his arms around her girlfriend’s neck. you sent the video to sunghoon with the text: “look ㅋㅋㅋㅋ that could be us!!!!” — without really putting any expectation that that could be both of you.

taking the courage and braveness to make your boyfriend remember about that video you really hope he has seen, you softly asked: “hoonie,” you pet named him. “can you give me a headlock?” you mewled.

you swear you never heard a gasp that could easily make you deaf coming out of your boyfriend’s mouth. “WHAT?” he cupped your cheeks, making you gaze at his face, trying to see if you were out of your mind. “BABY? WHY WOULD I–”

“not like that park sunghoon!” you whined, but couldn’t help yourself, letting out a chuckle as you playfully hit his chest. “you know,” you coughed, looking away and suddenly the room you were in looked interesting to be looked at. “in a gentle way…” you whispered between your teeth, leaving sunghoon without understanding a word.

“what?” he cocked his brow, turning his head, attempting to hear you better.

“in a gentle way…” you whispered again.

“mhm?”

“IN A GENTLE WAY!” you shouted.

“damn, calm down,” he smirked, planning to leave another teasing sentence. “are you really this needy?” he cocked a brow, watching how your cheeks turned red. he kissed your scalp, apologising as he felt your burning cheeks being hidden against his neck once again. “baby~ look at me.” he hummed, pinching your ear with his fang. “there you go.” he murmured in awe, admiring your cute face with a soft smile, gently rubbing his thumb against the skin of your cheek. are you down to leave this warm bed, that your boyfriend is cuddling you, to stand up in front of the bathroom mirror and receive a gentle headlock?” he emphasised the manner.

a cocky smirk could slowly be admired spreading across his lips as he watched how your head shyly nodded; and your lips were pursed, trying to contain the urge to explode ?

“let’s go then.” he kissed your temple. “shall we, my pretty girl?” he whispered, teasing you for the hundred time that day. you nodded and he easily scooped your — considerably — small body, walking in the direction of the bedroom’s bathroom, letting your naked feet touch the cold floor of the room’s different type of floor.

sunghoon looked at you through the mirror and smiled, not forgetting to kiss your scalp as he asked: “are you ready?” in a playful way, like he was going to give you a real headlock.

“i was born ready.” his playfulness got into your body, making him break into a giggly mess and murmur ‘cute’.

after a few seconds laughing with/at you, sunghoon took a deep breath to recompose himself and finally wrapped his muscular arms around your neck in a headlock — just like you asked him. “is that good?” sunghoon asked, tilting his head to the side as he couldn’t really see any big reaction coming from you. you nodded, trying your best to hold a big grin that was threatening to creep your lips. “are you sure? you aren’t saying nothing…” he whispered, kinda bored for you.

not seeing any reaction coming out from you, he unwrapped his arms around your neck. with the feeling of his arms being lost, you pouted and groaned. sunghoon watched your pouty lips and couldn’t hold in a chuckle, asking you what has gotten into you.

“don’t leave me~” you grabbed his hand like you were begging him to keep your head in a headlock. “just stay like this…”

“but you seem bored baby, i don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” he reassured you with a peck onto your forehead.

“i’m not bored, trust me.” you smirked, slowly blinking your eyes as you enjoyed the contact of his arm against your neck. “i love this view.” you giggled.

sunghoon confidently smiled and playfully whispered in your ear, gently and slowly tightening the headlock ( not enough to make you out of breathe ): “i should wear this tank top way more than i usually do, don’t you agree?”

“i though it was obvious.” you shrugged, hearing your boyfriend’s giggling as he wasn’t expecting that answer coming out of your mouth. “i love you.” you murmured at him.

“are you sure you just love me?”

“and your muscles too.”

“there you go.” he pecked your scalp, leaning his cheek against it, swaying his body as yours followed his rhythm. “i love you more.”

“you just love me more?” you teased back.

“and i love your samantha and your rachel too baby.”

“thank you.”

© 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐞 , originals — 24.

taglist: @jakesangel , @laylasbunbunny . . .

i want nobody but you | p.sh

synopsis → you and sunghoon have known each other your whole lives and although you've both dealt with jokes from classmates since elementary school on how you two would end up together, that never ended up happening; you two would brush it off and then move on. you never really thought about pursuing something with him romantically, especially since you like things with a more casual approach. but once sunghoon's girlfriend becomes a part of the picture, you can't help but feel these feelings consume you. being the way you are, however, you managed to push them down and you at least thought you got over them until you realize maybe they never left at all. or even worse: they were always there.

feat. → yujin (ive) & sungchan (riize)

genre → college au, friends to somewhat enemies to lovers, romance, smut, angst (eh, ig), slowburn (ig? srry lmao)

pairing → nonidol!sunghoon x fem!reader

warnings → MDNI, smoking !! (reader and sunghoon both smoke), drinking, cursing, mention(s?) of death, mention of hookups, reader is called and referred to (sometimes self referred to) as a: slut/whore; slutshaming, !! potential sh reference (pinching/hitting self; dk if that counts, but it's not mentioned after) !!, mentions of sex (obvi)

w.c. → 22.7k

a/n → long time no see lol. lmk if u would be interested in seeing some pics i took at the enha concert i went to :)) (i won't do vids because i was screaming like a baboon lmao) p.s. bear w me bc ik this is a long one, but i feel like i owe you all since i've been gone for practically a century, but pls give it a chance, i'm on my knees begging bc this took 3 days

disclaimer !! → i don’t ship any idols i portray as dating in this story irl nor do i have the intent to portray anyone in this story in a negative light, this is just for creative purposes, babes <3; this is all just fiction, take it lightly pls and thx

!!DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!!

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Today has been a long day. You groan as you take a seat on a bench somewhere near the lecture hall you just left and you close your eyes as you lean back against it. You had originally thought your senior year of high school was torturous, but being a senior in college was far worse. Your eyebrows furrow a bit when you feel the weight of the bench shift a bit, meaning someone has taken a seat beside you. Your eyes open a bit and you turn your head to see Sunghoon next to you. A sigh escapes your lips and you turn your head away, closing your eyes again. 

Sunghoon sits there for a moment, looking at you. Lately, you two haven’t hung out as much and although he admittedly forgot to text you for the past week and half, you were still his best friend. He could argue, though, that “the phone works both ways”, so you’re not exactly innocent either. He’s seen you around campus, hanging out with some members of the basketball team, mainly the captain: Sungchan. You didn’t seem bothered by the lack of contact between the two of you, either, so it didn’t bother him or make him feel guilty that you haven’t hung out in just a few days. No…not at all.

“Nice to see you, too.” he mumbles. You stay quiet, honestly close to falling asleep on the bench, especially with the warm breeze that is gently blowing. He narrows his eyes a bit and leans back against the bench. He does the same as you, closing his eyes as he relaxes, but he frowns to himself. “You and Sungchan seem to be close.” he says, not really even understanding why he brought it up in the first place. 

This piques your interest. “What about him.” you say rather than ask, still keeping your eyes closed.

Sunghoon shrugs, still not really sure why he cares who you hang out with or how often or who they are or…anything like that. Maybe it upsets him to think about the fact that you might replace him with someone cooler as your best friend; maybe he was too lame for you. How juvenile, he thought to himself. But that’s what it felt like, to him, at least. “Nothing. I’ve just seen you guys hanging out a lot, that’s all.” Sunghoon replies.

“How would you know that; we haven’t really hung out or talked lately.” you reply, not meaning to sound snarky, but it most likely came across that way.

Sunghoon scoffs softly. “I have eyes; I can still see who you talk to.”

You open your eyes a bit and turn your head to look at him. “Stalker.” you tease. 

Sunghoon opens his eyes, almost as if he can feel you looking at him and he rolls them, not amused. “Am not…I’m just trying to start a conversation or whatever.”

“About the people I talk to?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “About anything…” It stays quiet for a moment. “It’s just been a while since we’ve talked.”

“And whose fault is that?” You ask, rhetorically.

Sunghoon frowns. “Well, I’ve just been busy-”

You scoff, “Yeah. I know.” You reply dryly.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Just that that’s what you always say whenever we don’t talk to each other for a while. Like, I get it, you’re dating Yujin, big whoop.”

You’ve considered the possibility that he has just been busy with schoolwork, but no matter how many times you would give him the benefit of the doubt, it always ended up being because he was hanging out with Yujin. You weren’t really mad, per say, just annoyed. Severely annoyed. But what could you do? Ever since they started dating freshman year, you’ve felt like you were on the backburner. Which, again, you can’t really be upset about that. Afterall, she’s his girlfriend, whether you liked it or not. There is nothing wrong with her, you two got along fine, even if you don’t really talk or are even friends. You don’t hate her, not for any valid reasons, anyway. Still, despite how many people you know, Sunghoon is your only real friend and always has been. But it’s times like these when it feels like he means more to you than you mean to him.

“She’s my girlfriend.” He says, matter-of-factly.

You roll your eyes at his statement. “I know that,” you retort with annoyance, “you only ever bring it up every chance you get.”

“You seriously can’t be annoyed that I spend time with my own girlfriend.” He responds with the same tone.

Sometimes, Sunghoon gets caught up in things. Like being with Yujin, for example. He’ll be with her and then it just slips his mind to respond to a text of yours or to ask if you want to do something, he can’t help it. He knows that he’s your best friend and he’s certain that you’re his, too. Sure, Yujin means a lot to him, but you mean more, whether he would admit that or not. He just wants to make everything balanced, for everything to work out. But a part of him feels like something has been off since he started dating Yujin. Sure, he’s had other girlfriends, but never one for longer than a few months. This relationship is important to him. What if Yujin is the one? He can’t screw it up and he’s afraid to, so he makes sure to spend as much time with her as he can. He thought you would understand, but apparently not.

You’ve met Sunghoon’s other girlfriends, none of which bothered you as much as Yujin. Maybe because this one seems more serious. Maybe because she seems more important to him. The thought makes your stomach curdle. This whole situation makes your stomach curdle. You shouldn’t care so much, but you do. You hate that. “Whatever.” you reply, honestly not having thought of anything better to respond with. What were you supposed to say to that? Of course you understood, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.

“Besides, like I said, you and Sungchan have been hanging out a lot recently. Don’t act like you’ve never blown me off to hang out with him.” Sunghoon says.

“Barely.”

“Not barely. A lot. ‘Oh, Sungchan invited me to his basketball game to watch’, ‘Oh, Sungchan invited me to a party,’ ‘Oh, Sungchan wants to hook up’, ‘Oh, Sungchan this and Sungchan that’.” Sunghoon mocks, annoyed.

You frown. “Why do you care? You’ve got a girlfriend, so just hang out with her instead.”

Sunghoon frowns as well. “That’s not the point. The point is that you ditch me just the same to hang out with a guy who you’re not even dating. You don’t talk to me sometimes when you’re with him or another guy, so why are you so upset that I do the same with Yujin, who I’m actually dating?”

“Stop rubbing in the fact that you’re dating someone. Good for you, who gives a shit? So what if I do the same? It’s only because you do it first!” you argue back. You grab your backpack and stand up as you put it on. You start walking away from him and he watches you as you leave.

“Great talk!” he calls out to you in a sarcastic manner.

He didn’t mean to make you upset or try to “rub his relationship” in your face, he would never try to intentionally make you upset. So, why did he care? He doesn’t, it’s as simple as that. Maybe you doing the same thing to him with Sungchan bothered him a little. Maybe you wanting to spend your time instead with someone else you’re not even dating bothered him a little. But it’s not like he actually cared or anything. He knows he can’t tell you what to do or who to see, so why does he care? He knows he blew you off, so why didn’t he just apologize? Why did he bring up Sungchan in the first place? Sunghoon sits on the bench for a moment, rethinking things. Why was he acting like you were ignoring him when it was kind of the other way around? He sighs and closes his eyes again. He’ll figure it out later.

-

You let out a long yawn as the dim glow from your computer screen shines on your face. It’s three in the morning, and sure, you have a class tomorrow, but you can’t sleep and figure you can just skip your lecture anyway. Even if your brightness was all the way down, it still hurt your eyes every so often, so you would close them to make them feel better while you listened to the show you were watching. You hear your phone ding and your eyes open, your hand reaching for your phone to see the text.

“are you awake?” Sunghoon texts.

He knows you are. You almost always are, which is why he knew you would see the message. Although, he did anticipate the idea of you ignoring him. You were good at things like that, things that required a stubborn attitude. He didn’t mind your stubbornness, though. He didn’t mind anything when it came to you. He waited a bit, sitting in the darkness with just the light of his phone screen, his thumb gently tapping it so it doesn’t automatically turn off as he waits for you to text back. 

“yeah.” you text back.

It took you a few minutes and in all honesty, you almost didn’t respond. But you missed him, which even if he asks directly, you would deny. You wonder if he missed you too, but you shake that thought away.

“still pissy?”

This makes you laugh a little. Yes, you were, but you still found it a little funny.

“shut up.” you text back.

“wanna hang out?”

You sigh. Now he wants to? It takes you a while to reply with anything as you just stare at his message.

“can u bring the usual?” you reply.

He smiles at your text. “duh” he texts back.

You smile a bit, looking forward to actually hanging out with him. The whole argument was dumb anyway and you just wanted your best friend back. And after a while of waiting, you hear a knock on your dorm room door. You get up from your bed and unlock it, opening it as you step outside. He smiles softly when he sees you and you smile a bit back. You both quietly leave your dorm building before going outside and sitting on the curb. He sets the plastic bag he was carrying between you two and opens a bottle of beer before handing it to you. You take it and he opens his own, both of you taking a sip as a cool breeze blows softly. 

“Sorry about earlier,” he says quietly, “and for not talking to you for a week. I just got caught up with Yujin, you know?”

You take another drink, not really interested in discussing this anymore. “It’s fine.”

“I also wasn’t trying to rub her and I into your face and make you feel bad or anything, it’s just…” he trails off. It’s silent for a moment as you both drink. “This week has been shitty.” he mumbles.

“Amen to that.” you reply. He chuckles softly and you both clink your bottles before smiling and taking another drink.

“How’s your love life going, anyway?” he asks, genuinely curious.

Sure, there were other things he wanted to talk about, could talk about, but this is what slipped out of his mouth first. He was actually curious, he truly wants to know. He just wants to see you happy. 

You shrug, “The same; just hook ups.”

He looks at you for a moment. That’s it? You’ve been hooking up with people since the beginning of high school. Sure, you’ve dated some guys before, but they were all assholes; Sunghoon never liked them. He couldn’t stand them, to put it plainly. You deserve better, and he knows that. But he also knows you’re not into relationships. You like things to be simple and direct. But when it comes to how you feel, he knew you weren’t very expressive with that. Only when it comes to getting what you want. He kind of admires that about you.

“So…no one in particular? You just kind of…go after who you think is the hottest?”

You grin, “Something like that.” you take a sip, “So…how are things going with Yujin?”

You honestly hate that you asked. Why would you? Why would you want to hear about that? Surely, things must be going wonderfully if he’s so wrapped up in all that is her. But you’re still friends. It’s normal to ask these kinds of questions, right? Maybe he won’t really say much anyway and you’ll be a good friend for even asking. That’s what you’re hoping for, at least.

"Well... things have been kind of weird. She's been acting kinda distant recently; I don't know how else to explain it. She just seems really bored all the time. Like, the sex is good but it just seems like she's not into me anymore or something." he replies.

You give him a weird look as he brings up the topic of sex with Yujin. Gross. Just...Gross.

“Describing sex with your ‘girlfriend’ as good is never a good thing.” you say as you laugh a bit, taking a sip. 

Sunghoon scoffs a bit. Why did it seem like you were happy to hear that? It irritated him a bit, but he brushed it off. “Well, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s more like…it’s become something that’s routine.”

“Yeah, that’s probably not a good sign.”

Sunghoon sighs. "I know... it's just so weird though. I mean, we've been together for so long, and she's never been the type to get bored like this. It just sucks. I'm worried if something happened between us that's making her not want to be with me anymore."

You look at him for a moment as he drinks. You hate seeing him upset and you know that Yujin means a lot to him, especially since this is his first big relationship. You frown a bit as you drink. “Have you asked her?” you take another sip, “Aren’t people in relationships supposed to communicate and shit?”

"Yeah, I asked her and she said everything was fine, but like... I don't know. I just have a feeling that she's not telling me something, and I've tried asking her multiple times, but every time, she always says everything's fine." he takes another drink. “That’s pretty much what I’ve been spending last week doing, just…trying to fix what may not even be broken.” he mumbles.

You feel bad now for getting upset at him for blowing you off. It makes sense and you just got defensive again, not really knowing what he was doing. You sit there for a moment, not really sure what to say. Sunghoon didn’t mind the silence, though. He was trying to focus on Yujin and figure out why things feel this way when maybe, they aren’t even that way at all. Maybe it’s him. He isn’t sure, but he is sure that he already feels a million times better being with you, even if it is just sitting next to each other on a curb in silence.

“Do you cum?” you ask.

Sunghoon chokes on his beer a little, hitting his chest a bit as he coughs. He looks at you, not expecting your question at all, and as for you, well, you weren’t really expecting to ask it. It kind of just…came out. Your initial thought process was to ask more about his feelings on things in the relationship, seeming more like a routine, but it kind of led to you wondering if he even cums. In your defense, you thought that if he doesn’t, then maybe the relationship is going downhill. You look at him, as if what you asked was totally normal, taking another sip of your beer. He looks back at you, seeming to have processed what you asked.

“...yeah, pretty much every time.”

“Does she?”

Again, not something you really want to know, but you do want to help him.

“...sometimes, but most of the time she doesn’t.”

You suck air through your teeth, “Uh-oh.”

“It’s not a big deal, you know, so what if sometimes we don’t? It’s not about that, it’s just about…connecting or whatever.” he mumbles as he takes a sip.

“So, then what? Do you guys just like…do it yourself?”

“Yeah, so?”

You laugh. You can’t help it, it’s just too funny. Not his obvious pain with his relationship kind of going south, but the fact that he finds this to be normal. You at least found that funny.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, pissed off, but also slightly embarrassed.

“Dude, I'm not a relationship expert, but like...shouldn't people who have sex, I don't know, finish every time? I mean, I have never really had that happen often with any of the guys I hook up with, but hey, what do I know.” 

"Well... I guess, but it's not a big deal to me. As long as she enjoys it, that's what's important. And, it's not like it happens all the time. Sometimes she does finish, but it's just... well, not as often as I would hope..." he takes another sip.

You roll your eyes to yourself. Kind of out of instinct. If you’re going to be frank, you don’t give a damn about her.

You shrug, “I don’t know,” you take another sip, “you say you don’t cum sometimes, how come?”

“I don’t know…it just happens?”

You shake your head, “Nah, there’s a reason.”

“But the reason is dumb and I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” he takes another sip.

“Do you think she’s hot?”

What a stupid question. You wish you didn’t ask it. Why would you want to hear him talk about yet again how hot he thinks she is. It makes your blood boil and you would rather bash yourself over the head with your beer bottle than hear him talk about how perfect she is. But, there is a small, small part of you hoping for a certain answer. Only a small part.

“Of course I do.” he replies, simply.

“So, then, what’s the problem?”

“Sometimes I have a hard time finishing, happy? Jesus…” he mumbles as he drinks some more.

You roll your eyes. You’ve known each other your whole lives, you know when he’s lying.

“Mmm,” you take another sip, “no, you see, sometimes when I hook up with guys, I suddenly don't feel attracted to them, so then sometimes I don't finish. So do you just like sometimes not like her or something?”

He shakes his head, "No, I'm always attracted to her. But... sometimes I have a hard time finishing, and I don't know why that is."

“What do you think about?” you ask, kind of quietly.

A part of you didn’t want to ask that, besides, this conversation was becoming weird. But that small, small part of you was so desperately hoping for a certain answer. Fucked up? Yeah, most definitely, but that didn’t seem to stop you.

“About what?” he asks, actually clueless.

“When you’re having sex, what do you think about?” you ask again, taking a sip of your beer.

“...about her, that’s what you’re supposed to do, so,” he trails off, “Sometimes I…think about other things...” he answers, blushing a bit.

“Like what?”

“Just…random stuff. Why do you want to know anyway?” he asks, getting slightly defensive.

“Maybe that's what's distracting you. I don't know, spice things up with her or something. Or have an actual conversation with her about how you feel or whatever.” you mutter as you finish your beer.

He takes another sip of his beer. “Why are you acting like some sort of relationship counselor? You’ve never even really been in a relationship yourself.”

Maybe he wanted to piss you off with what he said, but only so you could back off. “Spice things up”? Yujin and him are fine, he’s deciding that right here, right now. He doesn’t want your help with this or to even discuss it anymore with you. It feels weird. Besides, he doesn’t want you to think that he’s…not good at sex. Not for any other reasons, just that…he doesn’t want you to think that about him.

You set your bottle down and look at him. “Because you’re my friend? I don’t know. Why do you care?” You hold your hand out, wanting him to hand the cigarettes he brought while your other hand digs into your sweatpants pocket for your lighter.

He reaches into the bag and hands them to you, knowing full well you could have grabbed them yourself, yet he still obliged. “So, in all of your hooking up, have you ever had feelings for anyone you hooked up with? And not those bullshit feelings for your douchebag exes, like actual feelings. Or have they all just been hookups?” he asks, hoping to change the subject.

You open the pack, “Hookups.”

“Every single one?”

“Mhm.” you answer, taking one out and putting it into your mouth, lighting it as you take a drag.

“So you’ve never fallen in love with anyone you’ve hooked up with?”

You laugh, “Fallen in love? How stupid.” you say as you take another drag.

“Okay, love might be a strong word, but like, have you never developed feelings for any of the people you’ve hooked up with?” he asks, finishing his beer.

“Nah.”

"Right, right. So, you're just all about hookups then, and that's cool, no shame or anything; I get it. But you've never felt even just a little bit of loneliness from it?" he asks as he sets his bottle down. You ignore his question, taking another drag. He knows by your reaction that he’s said something that bothers you. Whenever anything is mentioned that may reveal how you truly feel, you just block it off and move on. He sighs, not too sure why he bothered asking since you always ignore these types of topics. Sometimes, he wished you wouldn’t. He wished you would be more open with him. It feels like he can talk to you about anything and everything, even if sometimes he doesn’t want to, but he does anyway because you…well, you’re you. "I mean, it's gotta get kinda boring... always hooking up, never really connecting with anyone. Unless you don't care about that kind of thing."

“Love is stupid.” you reply flatly.

What a groundbreaking opinion. Truly, nobody has ever felt or thought the same thing. Great stuff. Sunghoon sighs at your answer, not really getting why you won’t just tell him. He wants you to. He can’t really explain why. It doesn’t have to do with wanting to get some satisfaction out of helping you or changing you, but rather, sometimes he feels like he knows nothing about you. You’re important to him, more than you could possibly understand, but still, sometimes, you seem so distant; like a stranger. He just wants to know that you trust him.

“So, just because love hasn’t exactly worked out in your life, you think love is stupid? I don’t really think that’s fair…just because your ex boyfriends were assholes doesn’t mean that true love doesn’t exist.”

For some reason, him talking about true love pisses you off. It pisses you off greatly. You can feel your skin crawl and anger boiling up inside you, so you take a drag from your cigarette, blowing out the smoke, wishing it was something else you were getting rid of.

“It’s not about them.” you take another drag, “Do you love Yujin?”

You think you know the answer already. No, you know the answer indefinitely. There is only one answer. Why would he have spent the past three–almost four years–dating her if he didn’t? You think about all the times he talked about her when they first started dating. You try not to, but your mind recalls all the details, how he said them, what he said, how he looked while he was talking. It made you sick.

His heart sinks a little when you ask the question. He stares at you for a moment, not responding to your question right away. He takes a long deep breath before he answers, “Yes.” You sit silent. You heard his answer, but you don’t want to acknowledge it. You take another drag from your cigarette, a longer one this time, blowing out the smoke slowly as you tap some of the tobacco from the butt of it off. “Do you…not believe me?” he asks, watching you. He can tell something is on your mind, you’re just having trouble saying it. He’s not asking to be snarky or anything, he asks in more of a gentle tone, just wanting you to open up or at least just say something remotely close to how you feel.

“No, I do.” you answer quietly. For some reason, it hurts to say that. It’s true, though; you do believe him…unfortunately.

Silence consumes the both of you, just sitting on the curb as time passes. Crickets chirp softly in the distance and the subtle burn of the tobacco from your cigarette fills it a bit, but not enough. He stares at you, both annoyed and concerned. 

“Then what is it? Are you trying to say there’s something wrong with my relationship?” he asks, suddenly defensive. Even he, himself, doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so defensive about it, especially since he brought up the issue earlier, but he doesn’t like thinking that you think there is something wrong.

“Jesus, it’s not like that.” you respond, knowing full and well it is like that.

“Then spit it out; what are you trying to say?”

“Shut up.”

You take another drag and he rolls his eyes, annoyed. “You know, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

“So are you.”

“Yeah, I know, but you’re worse.”

You take another drag, genuinely wanting him to shut up, or for things to be normal. Or better yet, for things not to be complicated. “Go cry about it to your girlfriend.”

“Screw you.”

“Ditto.”

“Whatever.” he says, pissed off.

“Yeah, whatever.” you mumble as you take another drag.

He continues to look at you, pissed off at how you don’t seem to care about anything. He used to like that a lot about you, how you never cared about what people thought and are able to brush anything off. Maybe “used to” is a bit strong, he still likes that about you, but for right now, it’s incredibly infuriating. 

“You know, I’ve noticed that you always avoid giving direct answers to questions. Maybe that’s why you’re so scared of commitment; Not willing to really speak your mind out of fear of hurting someone’s feelings or your own.” he says, hoping this would piss you off enough to just say how you feel.

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.” you say as you continue smoking your cigarette.

“No, I won't shut up. In fact, I'm gonna keep talking because this is one of the rare occasions where we’re actually having a serious conversation and not just talking about petty stuff.”

You roll your eyes again. “I don’t want to.” you reply, simply.

“Too bad. because I am really curious about it. So, I’m just gonna keep asking questions. Like, have you ever experienced real heartbreak before? Because you seem like the type that just throws people away and moves on with no remorse.” You become quiet. Sure, you weren’t answering before, well, barely, anyway. But this time, you feel like you’re shrinking. That type of quiet. The type of quiet you become when you feel like you got caught and you don’t want to admit to what you did. You just smoke your cigarette. “And you don’t just avoid answering questions about your romantic life, either. You do the same thing when it comes to family, friends, and anyone else. You just push people away and never actually let anyone get to know the real you.” 

“You know the real me.” you say, looking at him. In all honesty, you were insulted. He was seriously telling you that he “doesn’t know the real you” after you guys have been friends since you were two years old? What does that say about your friendship?

“No, I really don’t. All I know about you is the surface layer stuff that you’re willing to share, but I don't actually know you. No one does. Because you never let anyone get close enough.” he says as he looks you directly in the eyes, meaning every word he says. Well, maybe not every word, but it is how he feels. He doesn’t want you to get frustrated, but if that’s what it takes for you to finally say how you feel, then so be it. You do feel yourself getting frustrated and you look away, taking another drag. “And don’t deny it, ‘cause you know it’s true. You just push people away and never let yourself be vulnerable, ‘cause if you did, then they could use that vulnerability against you. And god forbid anybody ever find out about your deepest insecurities-” 

“Shut the fuck up.” you say, feeling anger seethe out of you. He sits there, somewhat stunned by your response. Not exactly that you became angry, but more so that he actually got a reaction out of you. He watches you as you put your cigarette out and stand up. “I’m going back to my room.” you mutter. 

He stands up. “Seriously?” he says as he sees you start to walk away. He scoffs. “You’re just going to leave? Like that? Whatever.” he mumbles as he grabs the pack of cigarettes you put back into the bag (the pack he specifically bought for you and always buys whenever you guys hang out like this). He opens it and grabs one, lighting it as he sees you turn around. You walk back over to him and snatch the pack of cigarettes from his hand. “The hell?” he asks, annoyed, as he tries to grab it back.

You hold it out of his reach. “You don’t even like red Marlboros.” you say, almost tempted to take the one out of his mouth, too just to spite him.

“Give it back.” he says sternly as he takes a small drag from the one in his mouth, holding it between his fingers as he glares at you.

“No.”

“It’s my pack of cigarettes.”

“That you bought for me.”

“And I want it back.”

“Well, tough shit, I’m not giving it back.”

“Give it.” he says as he holds out his hand. You ignore him and turn around, starting to walk away. He takes another drag, grimacing because you’re right, he doesn’t like this brand, but he’s only doing this to spite you. He gets even more pissed off just seeing you walk away. “Why are you always such a pain in the ass?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” you yell back.

He quickly puts out the cigarette and puts the bottles into the bag before catching up to you. “I'm not the one who’s always being super mean and acting all mysterious about everything. Like, what’s with all the attitude and snarky comments? You’ve been extra shitty lately.”

“Fuck you.”

He scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You know, you’re being shitty, you just don’t wanna admit it.”

You stop walking and turn to look at him, throwing the pack at him. “Then go away.”

He grits his teeth and grabs the pack from the ground. He looks at you, “Whatever. I'm leaving. But just know, one of these days, you’re going to actually push someone away for good.”

“Hopefully it’s you.” you say as you cross your arms.

“Yeah, me too. Because I am so fed up with your bullshit.”

“Great. Go away.”

He rolls his eyes and walks past you, his arm bumping into yours purposefully as he heads back to his dorm.

-

As Sunghoon makes his way to his lecture, he sees Yujin in the distance talking to some of her friends. He thinks about your conversation last night. He had hopes of confiding in you a bit more about how he felt, but of course that’s not the way things panned out. He had no time to focus on that, even if he was feeling even worse now that he possibly lost his best friend for good. Shit…did he really lose you for good? He feels his blood run cold, but he’s trying to forget it and focus on her. She’s his girlfriend, he has to remember that. He walks up to her, smiling a bit. She looks at him.

“Oh…hey.” she says softly.

“Hey…can we talk for a minute?” She nods her head and stands still. Sunghoon glances at her friends and then looks back at her. “...in private?” Yujin glances at her friends before following Sunghoon over into the library, taking a seat at a table near one of the back bookshelves, a little bit of space between the two of them. “Is there a reason you’ve been acting like this lately? Do you not…want to be with me anymore?” Sunghoon asks, just getting straight to the point.

Yujin is quiet for a moment. “Everything is fine.” she says.

He crosses his arms, feeling himself getting frustrated. Why can’t people just be direct like you? Yeah, you’re not really direct with your feelings, but you are when it comes to anything else. “Are you sure? Because you've been really distant. We haven't been talking as often, you barely want to spend time with me... and it feels like you're avoiding being intimate with me, too. I had to almost beg you to spend time with me last week. Is there really nothing? Are you sure everything is fine?” Yujin listens and stays quiet. Sunghoon sighs. "You know, couples are supposed to communicate and shit, right? If something is bothering you, just come out and say it." Sure, he took a page from your book with what you said last night and perhaps some of what you said rang true after all, but he’s not really looking to give you a “you were right” moment at this time.

“You being friends with her bothers me.” Yujin says as she crosses her arms.

Sunghoon freezes for a moment, taken aback by her response. “...are you being serious?” he asks, not totally sure if she’s just messing with him.

“You hang out with her more than me to the point that I had to ask you to stop texting her whenever we would hang out and you always say you’re “just best friends”, but I don’t believe you. Do you have feelings for her?”

“Do YOU think I have feelings for her?” Sunghoon asks, becoming defensive while also avoiding answering her question directly. 

“Yes.” she answers, simply.

“What, do you think I’ll dump you for her or something?”

"She's a slut. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. I don't care if you guys are close, I'm worried she is going to make a move on you and then you break up with me just for her to use you once and then ruin you; She's bad news." Yujin says.

He feels his jaw drop a bit at what she says. Did she seriously just say that? And so boldly? He feels himself become upset about the way she talks about you. He wants to defend you, he always has, but he frowns. What if this leads to Yujin breaking up with him? You did say last night that you two were done with each other, so why does it matter? He doesn’t agree with Yujin, but he wants to save this relationship…

“You really think I'm that naive? That I'd fall for a girl like her? Just because we’re close friends doesn’t mean I automatically get feelings for her and forget about you. You know I'm smart enough to not get mixed up with someone like her.” he says, feeling like his heart is breaking as he says it. He wants Yujin to feel reassured, but after saying this…it doesn’t feel worth it.

“So you agree.” Yujin says.

Sunghoon sits there, feeling like he’s about to throw up. Why is this so hard? Why can’t he just say ‘yes’ and move on? Why can’t he be happy with Yujin? He just nods his head. “I wouldn’t fall for someone like her.” he says extremely quietly, almost as if he never wanted those words to leave his mouth. But they did and it was too late.

Yujin smiles, satisfied by his answer. She leans in and kisses his lips quickly, “I believe you.” she says softly.

Sunghoon hesitates, not glad that she believes him. Not glad that she said those things about you. Not glad that he said those things about you. He’s just not happy. He gives her a small smile and kisses her cheek quickly. “I’m glad.”

-

You are sitting on a bench, scrolling through your phone as you wait for your next lecture to start soon. Sunghoon sees you as he exits his lecture hall and his gaze lingers on you for a moment. He sighs to himself a bit, feeling like he was being pulled in two different directions. The more he thinks about it, he feels as though Yujin was giving him an ultimatum to choose you or her. If she said it outright, there isn’t a cell in his body that would hesitate to choose you. He thinks back to his conversation with Yujin in the library and he feels sick; he knows he did something wrong. 

He walks over to you and takes a seat next to you, just wanting to make up and move on. To his surprise, however, you get up immediately and take your bag before walking away. He sits there, confused, but figures you’re still upset about the argument last night. He gets up and he follows you before catching up and gently grabbing your arm, but you end up taking it away and start walking again. He bites the inside of his cheek before stepping in front of you, “Why are you walking away from me?”

“Get away from me.”

“No.” he said as quickly as the words left your mouth.

You look at him, feeling your eyes sting, hot tears wanting to form, but you blink them away. “You should probably go find your girlfriend, you wouldn’t want to be seen hanging out with a slut like me, right?” you ask rhetorically.

“Hey-,” he cuts you off, frowning instantly when you call yourself that. “Stop it…you know I don’t see you that way.”

“That’s a fucking lie; I heard you talking to Yujin. Or are you surprised about that too since you were in the library and someone like me couldn’t possibly be in a place like that.” you say as you cross your arms, swallowing as if that will help mask your clear frustration.

“...what?” he asks quietly, freezing as he realizes what you’re saying.

“I heard you. I heard you agree with her when she called me a slut. I heard you say you "would never be stupid to fall for someone like me". Well, fuck you. Go be with your perfect girlfriend, asshole.” you say before you push past him, swallowing again, but this time to stop yourself from crying.

“Wait-” he tries to grab your arm again, but you pull it away and keep walking. He feels his heart sink as he watches you walk away. The world felt as if it just collapsed. He feels like he’s sinking and as he watches you become further from him, he feels like he’s lost everything. He’s holding his breath, not necessarily realizing he is, almost as if he exhales, he’s not sure he has the strength to take another breath knowing he’s hurt you; he doesn’t deserve to.

-

Everything moves in slow motion, all voices muffled, as Sunghoon feels himself being dragged inside of a party by Yujin. He can hear and see her laughing and talking with her friends as they walk inside the loud and crowded atmosphere, but he feels as if he’s hollow. He stands there like a zombie as Yujin talks and greets some of her friends. He’s not sure how it happened, especially since it was almost midnight and he honestly just wanted to go to sleep, but he somehow ended up here. His eyes felt heavy as they looked around the room, but he subconsciously stood up straighter when his eyes landed on you. It was like he had been resuscitated, his heart beating rapidly as he sees you and then he sees him.

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, noticing how Sungchan was standing closely to you, how his eyes scanned every inch of your body with some stupid, smug smirk on his face. Sunghoon rolled his eyes again and grimaced at the sight. He sees how you whisper something into his ear, Sungchan grinning as he places his hand on your hip. Suddenly, Sunghoon’s heart stopped again as his gaze fixates on his hand. His hand grips Yujin’s tightly as he clenches his jaw and his other hand curls into a fist, his fingernails digging into the palm of his hand. His breathing becomes heavy as he sees you smile, smile in a way he’s never had you smile at him before as your hand caresses Sungchan’s cheek while you clearly flirt back with him. Sunghoon was livid. He feels like an extra in his own life as he watches you fall for someone like that.

“Baby…?” Yujin asks, loosening her hand and taking it away from him since he was practically cutting off her circulation.

“I’m fine.” he mumbles, hints of anger and annoyance clear in his tone. He doesn’t look at her as he answers and she catches on.

She looks to where his gaze is and then she looks back at him, upset. “Why are you looking at her?” she asks as she crosses her arms. “You told me you don’t have feelings for her. I’m your girlfriend, not her.”

“Stop, Yujin, it’s not like that…” he mumbles, annoyed as he keeps looking at you and Sungchan. He watches as Sungchan puts his arm around your waist and he feels like the air has just been knocked out of him. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he glares at the two of you, wanting nothing more than to shove him off of you.

Yujin scoffs, “I don’t even see how you could have feelings for a slut like her.” she mumbles, taking a sip of a drink her friend brought for her. Sunghoon keeps his attention on you. How Sungchan keeps you close, whispers in your ear to make you giggle and you indulge in it, how he touches you, and how he looks at you as if he’s some sick animal that wants to devour you. “Did you even hear me?” Yujin asks, pissed off.

“Yeah, I heard you.” Sunghoon mumbles as he continues watching the two of you.

Yujin glares at him and then grabs his hand, dragging him away from her friends. Sunghoon just goes along with it and as Yujin starts dragging him upstairs, Sungchan leas in and kisses you. Sunghoon’s eyes widen as he continues going upstairs with Yujin, her dragging him into an empty bedroom and closes the door behind them. Sunghoon feels like all thoughts had escaped him when he saw that and he stands there with only one thing on his mind: you.

“Let’s have sex.” Yujin says as she looks at him.

Sunghoon snaps out of it and looks at her, feeling like this is his first time seeing her tonight. He looks at her in confusion, not wanting to since he only has you on his mind, but he doesn’t want to upset her any further, so he nods his head. Yujin pulls him towards her and kisses him. He hesitates, feeling himself grimace, but he tries to ignore it and kiss her back. He doesn’t want to be up here with her, he wants to be down there with you. As they continue to kiss, Yujin begins to undress herself and Sunghoon feels himself tense up. He tries to forget about you and focus on her, thinking maybe helping her undress would help, but it doesn’t. Not even a little bit. 

Yujin moves them over to the bed as she keeps kissing him and he sits there, partially kissing her back and also sitting stiff as a board. He knows this is supposed to be hot for him, having a practically naked girl on him, but he only finds himself wishing it was you. Yujin kisses down his neck as she takes off his shirt and he feels like he’s zoning out, not moving a muscle. Yujin moves her hands along his chest and down his body and then stops kissing him as she looks at him.

“You’re not even hard.” she says as she frowns. Sunghoon just stares at her, not necessarily surprised, but he still feels bad. "What the hell do you even like about her? She's a fucking whore who opens her legs for any and every guy. She has nothing else to offer besides her fucking pussy, which probably is already stretched beyond repair." Yujin says, angry. "She's nothing! She's not even special and yet she always gets any guy she wants. Well, why does she get you too?" Yujin tears up. "I'M your girlfriend, not her! Do you even love me?" Yujin asks, frustrated.

Sunghoon knows her anger is justified and he feels awful for feeling like he wants her to be you instead. As he watches and hears her say all of these things, he feels bad for treating her like this, but he also becomes angry at listening to what she’s saying about you. He feels bad for saying it feels like he doesn’t know you, because he does, and he knows you’re nothing like who she says you are.

“Answer me!” Yujin yells.

“I do love you.” Sunghoon says quickly.

“...do you love her?”

He stays quiet. Does he love you? He doesn’t know how to answer that. He knows he cares about you more than anyone else, he knows that even when you two fight, he would never want anyone else but you to be by his side, he knows that you’re the only one who gets him, he knows he likes making you smile and laugh and sometimes when you look at him, he feels like he can just look back at you forever. But is that love? Then, what is it he feels for Yujin? Does he love you and not her? How come he never realized it before? Did he always feel this way?

"Why the hell did you even ask me out? Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend if all this time, you've wanted her? If all this time you've been in love with her?" Yujin asks, furious.

What is he supposed to say? Has he always been in love with you? He thinks for a moment. He thinks about why he asked her out in the first place, about a week after you hooked up with some guy after you two just started college. Was that the reason? Was it because he just wanted something and he knows deep down, you don’t want the same, so he found it somewhere else? You…everything has always been about you, his whole world has always revolved around you.

Yujin gets up and gets dressed. "If you want to be with her so badly, fine. But just know, she's still a whore. She'll just use you and then toss you aside." Yujin says as she finishes getting dressed. "But by all means, go sleep with that slut. We're done." Yujin says as she leaves the room.

Sunghoon sits on the bed in silence. Just great. Now, he doesn’t have a girlfriend and worst of all, he still can’t have you. He sits there for a moment longer before getting up and putting back on his shirt. Screw this party, he shouldn’t have come anyway. He walks out of the bedroom and goes downstairs, feeling like his mind is in a different place as he walks outside. He stops and notices you sitting on the curb, smoking a cigarette. He feels relieved, not seeing you in Sungchan’s arms, and for a split second, he wishes he could just walk over and take you into his, but he pushes that thought away and just decides to take a seat beside you on the curb instead. You scoot away a bit from him, silence looming over the two of you and he feels even worse. 

“You shouldn’t be sitting here, you know. Your girlfriend might get pissy.” you mumble as you exhale some smoke.

“I’m not with Yujin anymore.”

You pause for a moment, “...I saw you two go upstairs.”

“She just…got upset that I couldn’t get hard. I just had so many thoughts running through my mind…” he trails off, not wanting to ramble on about it.

“Whatever.” you say as you take another drag.

“I wish I never asked her out.” he says before taking a deep breath, feeling like he said something he didn’t even realize he was keeping a secret, not even from himself.

“Why are you telling me this? In case you forgot, I am not your friend anymore. Not after what you and her said about me this morning.” You take another drag, “It's one thing for her to call me a slut, I don't care about her, but you? You agreed with her. You made fun of me. You're supposed to be my best friend and you say I'm a slut and then that you aren't "stupid" enough to date "someone like me"?  Fuck you, honestly. I was so pissed when I heard that. I know we fought the other night, but I never thought you would say that shit about me.” You take another drag. “So stop talking to me about your problems like we're still friends. You want nothing to do with "someone like me"? Well, then, you got it.”

Sunghoon stays silent, feeling as if everything around him is crumbling. You’re sitting maybe a foot away from him, but he feels like you’re on the other side of the planet. “I’m sorry.” he says softly, feeling ashamed to have talked about you like that.

You shake your head and continue smoking. “Whatever.”

“I miss you.” he says suddenly. “And, I shouldn’t have said any of that this morning. I was trying to reassure Yujin at your expense and…that was a big fuck up by me. None of what I said was worth any pain I’ve caused you.”

“Well, I don’t miss you. I don’t even care.”

Sunghoon stays quiet for a moment. “I have to fix this. Not because I feel like it will make me feel better to know I said sorry, because that doesn’t fix anything; that doesn’t make you feel better. I want to fix this because, even if you don’t believe me, I value our friendship more than anything in the world.”

You scoff and don’t reply, blinking away your tears as you continue smoking. “I don’t need you. Think what you want about me, I don’t give a fuck.”

“Hey…” he says tentatively as he notices you blinking away tears. He feels like he got punched in the gut and hates himself for knowing he’s the one that caused you to feel this way. “I know I hurt you…a lot.” he admits. He doesn’t know if you would want to listen to anything else he has to say, but he wants nothing more than for everything to go back to normal. To have you back. To just have you look at him. Anything.

You scoff, “You? As if.” you say as you put out your cigarette. “Don’t flatter yourself. Like I care about your opinion.” you say as you stand up. “I don’t need your pity and I don’t need your friendship. I don’t need you.” you say as you walk away and back into the party.

He doesn’t hesitate to follow you, not wanting to let you go. He can’t. He can’t bear the thought of you actually not being a part of his life, not for one goddamn second. He tries to catch up to you, but he stops in his tracks when he sees you go back over to Sungchan. It feels as though time has stopped and he was cursed with having to watch you be with him for the rest of his life. You whisper something to Sungchan, prompting him to grin and put his hands on your waist. Sunghoon feels like he’s about to collapse as he watches Sungchan whisper something back to you before taking your hand and leading you upstairs. He wants to do something, take you away from him, tell you that you mean so much more and are so much more than whatever Sungchan thinks about you. How you mean everything to him and watching you walk upstairs with some other guy feels as though you are taking away every piece of Sunghoon, breaking him apart. But he doesn’t and an hour passes before you walk back downstairs with Sungchan, his arm around your waist.

Sungchan whispers something in your ear before letting you go and walking over to his friends, all of them laughing and teasing him. You just walk back out of the party, feeling sick to your stomach; as if you just made the biggest mistake of your life; shame. As you walk down the sidewalk, the night suddenly feels much colder than before. You take out your cigarettes and start smoking another one. Sunghoon follows and catches up, “Can I have one?” he asks, not knowing what else to say, but wanting to say something. You stay quiet, but eventually extend the one you were smoking to him. You stop walking as he takes it, taking a drag as he stands beside you. 

You hold out your hand, wanting it back and after he takes another inhale from it, he exchanges it back. You take another drag, staying quiet, as you extend it back to him. He takes it as you two share the cigarette and he hands it back to you, almost wanting to just hold your hand instead. You take a long drag, holding the smoke for a while before slowly exhaling. “...you were right.” you say quietly as you hold the cigarette out for him. “It is lonely.”

He takes the cigarette, feeling hopeful that this is the beginning of an honest conversation, and relieved that you’re opening up. He hands it back to you, “Are you lonely? Do you miss having a relationship?” he asks, softly, wanting to make sure he’s being cautious so he doesn’t hurt you again.

“Not the ones I used to be in, no. Those guys were…well, you know.”

“Yeah…” he mumbles. You sigh and take a seat on the curb. He follows suit, seeing if you’ll say something else, but deciding to break the silence. “So…what kind of guy do you want?” he asks, deep down hoping for a certain answer. 

You don’t answer him and instead, ignore his question. In all honesty, you don’t know. Well, you do, but you’re too scared to admit it. “You were also right about me being a slut.”

“I-I didn’t mean it-”

“You know it, everybody else knows it…and I always knew it.” You take your cigarette back and take a drag. “Hearing you say it sucked, though, but I know it’s the truth.”

“I shouldn’t have said it. I was so caught up in trying to make Yujin feel better and fix things between us when it wasn’t worth it. Not when it came at your expense.”

“I know.”

“I should’ve still stuck up for you. It didn’t matter if she was my girlfriend, you don’t deserve to be talked about like that.”

You shrug and hand him the cigarette, lighting a new one for yourself to smoke. “I don’t care anymore. Hooking up with Sungchan just now made me realize it. Seeing and hearing his friends tease him for it…” you take a long drag, “I knew that’s what I am.”

He does the same and looks at you. “Did you want to hook up with him?”

“No.”

“Then, why did you do it?” You ignore his question and keep smoking. “Hey…” he says softly. He knows you’re avoiding his question, but he wants to hear what you have to say.

“What happened with you and Yujin tonight?” you ask, wanting to change the subject.

“Just…an argument.”

“About…?”

“That’s not important.”

“You wanted to tell me all about it earlier. You said something about you not getting hard and regretting asking her out. What the hell happened? I thought you loved her or whatever.” you mumble as you inhale more smoke, a part of you hoping it chokes you.

“I do love her. But I guess…it meant something different to her. She wanted things from me I couldn’t do.”

“Like what.”

“Like…her not wanting us to be friends anymore.”

You scoff before continuing to smoke. “You should’ve chosen her.”

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow as he takes a drag. “You think I shouldn't have chosen my friend who's been with me through thick and thin over someone who was basically controlling who I talked to?”

“She was just controlling that you don't talk to me. Can't blame her, she probably thought I would try to sleep with you or something. Besides, since when did us being friends for so long suddenly matter? It didn't when you agreed with her about me being a slut.”

“It matters to me.” He says, feeling his heart sink a little at your words. It seemed like you didn’t think your friendship meant anything. He takes another drag and sighs quietly before continuing. “You’re my best friend. I care about you more than anyone else.” You stay silent as you continue to smoke. “Do you really think I don’t care about you?” he asks, softly. You just keep smoking, not really sure how to answer. He sighs to himself as he does the same and his mind wanders to thinking about you and Sungchan again. He rolls his eyes to himself as he tries to push those thoughts out of his head.

“You asked me if I ever felt heartbreak when we fought that night, talking about if that’s why I have commitment issues or whatever.” you say as you take another drag. “Yeah…I have.”

“Was the heartbreak from…” he let’s the question linger in the air for a moment, “a relationship?” You shake your head. “So…what was it from then? Who broke your heart?”

You stay silent for a moment, just smoking “...i didn't realize I fell in love with him until he got a girlfriend, well, his first serious girlfriend. At first, I didn't really care, but then…” you go quiet for a moment as you keep looking ahead, not at him. “The way he talked about her, would smile a certain way when he was with her, like he's never smiled at me before...laughing at jokes they shared...seeing him kiss her, hold her hand…” you take another drag, “holding her hand..” you repeat, like you’re lost in thought. “It's something so stupid and simple, but I've never had a guy hold my hand romantically...but he held hers and I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do a damn thing but suddenly wish I was his girlfriend instead. And then I realized. I loved him.” you take another drag, “I loved him and he was in love with someone else.”

He stayed quiet the whole time you talked. He took in every single word. He took in how you said every single word, how you looked as you spoke. He felt his heart break for you. The way you talked about it was nothing like he’s ever heard you talk about; so…innocent. “Did you ever try to tell him how you felt?”

You stay quiet for a moment as you swallow. “I almost did. One time. I just felt so tired from pretending and I didn't want to just hookup with anyone anymore. I wanted to be his more than anything in the world. I almost told him and then…” you take another drag from your cigarette. “He started telling me about how he finally had sex with his girlfriend. How hot she is. How he had never seen anyone so beautiful. How he couldn't believe he was so lucky to be dating her. Fuck-” you pinch your thigh to stop yourself from crying as you take another drag. “I felt so...gross. I had never had a guy say that about me, never had a guy be proud to be with me, but the way he talked about her and everything he was saying...I knew he would laugh in my face if I, just some slut, was in love with him; he would feel grossed out or whatever. No matter how close I thought we were, I knew right then and there I would never be like her. Never like the girl he wanted.” you take another drag, “So I didn't say anything.”

Sunghoon stayed quiet again, feeling awful. He hated that you thought about yourself that way. He hated that other people had made you feel that…him included. He hated this guy, especially, for making you feel this way. What a piece of shit. You deserve nothing but the best and this guy pulls this bullshit with you? He was about ready to punch him in the face. “And you’re still friends with him? After he did all of this to you?”

“He’s all I’ve ever had.”

“He’s not all you have, though. What about me?” he asks, intending to make something positive out of this all. He just wants you to know how precious you are to him because he cares about you so much. 

This, doesn’t help whatsoever, and you feel like you’re about to burst into tears. You can’t tell if he’s the idiot or if you are; maybe the latter. But when he says that, you just feel like sobbing, curling up into a ball, and dying right then and there. You pinch your thigh again, to prevent yourself from crying because you absolutely loathe it.

He notices and immediately puts his hand on yours to stop you. He hates seeing you like this and he looks at you, not wanting you to suppress this anymore.

His hand on yours, however, makes you feel even worse. Worse because it makes your stomach do flips and you can feel your heart beat faster. Worse because you know it only carries the connotation of a friend comforting a friend…nothing more. You pull your hand away and continue smoking.

He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t try to take your hand back. It hurts him to see you pull yourself away. He just wants to make you feel better, feel safe, feel loved. Feel nothing but happiness because that’s all you deserve. But you don’t. He wants to give you everything, and so, he tries again to comfort you. He reaches for your hand, gently taking it into his, it enveloping yours as he holds it as if it is the most delicate thing on earth.

“Don’t.” you whisper, taking your hand away.

You didn’t want to. God, you didn’t want to. His hand felt like silk against yours, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it. Compared to his, your hand was like felt, worth far less than his. You didn’t want him to hold your hand, not like this. You wanted it to mean something, have some sort of value. Not for comfort. Not because he’s your best friend. Not because he felt bad. But because he loved you. Because he wanted to hold your hand and be proud as he held it. Because he wanted to claim you as is. Because you wanted to be his.

He lets go of your hand and stays silent for a moment. It was as if a part of him died inside as you pulled away your hand. All the thoughts that he was having a few seconds ago were replaced by sadness. His hands tightened into fists from the frustration of being unable to comfort you or take away your sadness. He wanted so desperately to try again, but he knew that there was nothing he could do right now. Slowly, he takes another drag of his cigarette, and you do the same with yours.

“Did you cry whenever he would talk about his girlfriend like that? Did you cry anytime he complimented her?”

You don’t answer for a while. “Yeah. When he told me he loved her, I cried later. After that, I pretended like I didn't care. And for a while, it worked. I would just hook up with guys and I would still talk and hang out with him because he didn't treat me like what everyone else saw me as. He never did. And that's one of the reasons I fell in love with him, I guess, but then sometimes...he would start talking about her and then I just...felt worse. At some point, I just kind of felt numb about it, especially after he told me about the first time they had sex. He talked about it like it was so special...like she was so special...and I just decided then and there I couldn't love him. So, I just pretended and after a while, I thought I didn't love him anymore, but one night, he started talking about how he couldn't lose his girlfriend, how he wanted to make things with her work and I felt that same feeling again, like I was going to be sick. Then, I heard him say what he really thought about me and that was the last time I cried about him.”

“What did he say about you? Did he insult you?” he asks as he feels himself becoming angry, wondering what this jerk could’ve possibly said about you to make you feel this way. But, you don’t answer, you just remain quiet and that made him want to punch this guy even more. “Do you miss him?” he asks, quietly.

“...i miss being oblivious to the fact that I love him.”

He feels his heart drop when you say that. You still love him? He swallows, feeling like he’s choking and as if all of the oxygen has been sucked out of the atmosphere. “So…you do love him. You’re still in love with him?” Once you ignore him again, the answer is clear. “You do still love him…” he mumbles. Anger courses through his veins because you’re in love with someone so fucking awful. How could you give all of yourself to someone who is too blind to see how much you’re worth? How much you mean and value you provide to the meaning of life it’s goddamn self? He watches as you continue smoking. “So, you mean to tell me, after everything he’s done to you, you still love him?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“He doesn’t know you’re in love with him?”

“I told you, I never told him.”

This doesn’t help him feel any less bad for you. Some douche was out and about being happy and in love while you suffer on the sidelines? “Are you ever going to tell him?”

You shake your head as you look down. How could you? Especially since you’re delivering this whole pathetic monologue and he still isn’t taking any goddamn hint. 

“Is it because he’s still with his girlfriend?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” you say as you finish your cigarette.

He becomes frustrated, “Is he?”

“No.”

“So, they broke up.” You ignore his question once more. He waits a few seconds before speaking up again, “I’m taking that as a ‘yes’ then.”

“Why does it matter? Why do you care?”

“Why do I care?” he asks as if this question has the most obvious answer. He scoffs and takes another drag out of frustration. “Because I’m your best friend, dumbass.”

This only makes you frown as you pinch your thigh again to stop the tears threatening to fall. He frowns as well when he sees this and reaches his hand over again. “Stop.” he says as he grabs your hand. You look down at your hands and you take yours away again. He feels a lump form in his throat when you pull your hand away as a pit of sadness just keeps growing and growing in his stomach. “Why are you doing that? …do you honestly think I don’t care about you?” You just keep staring ahead of you, not looking at him once. He takes another drag and sighs. “Have I ever given you a reason for you to think that I don’t care? Have I hurt you like that guy did?”

His questions make you stay silent for a long time. You wish that you could just disappear. Or that you could go back in time and stop yourself from having these stupid feelings. Or…that you never met him in the first place. Maybe then things would be easier. Better.

“Just…answer me.” he says, pleading, almost. He wants you to understand that he is here for you, he always will be and nothing is going to get in the way of that anymore. He wants this to be clear, so he tries to hold your hand again to show his support, but you take it away once he does.

“Are you pretending or are you actually this clueless?” you ask, becoming frustrated, your voice having a hint of pain in it.

His stomach tightened when you rejected him once more. He doesn’t look at you, suddenly afraid to see your expression. He doesn’t know what to do, how to make you feel better. He stays silent for a moment and continues smoking. “Pretending about what?” he asks. You become increasingly frustrated and pinch your thigh again. He notices and grabs your hand again, “Stop.” he says sternly, but you pull your hand away. 

“Jesus, you’re the guy.”

He feels himself freeze. “What the hell do you mean ‘I’m the guy’?”

“Are you dense?” you raise an eyebrow. “You’re the guy I’ve been talking about this whole damn time!”

“...i’m the guy?” he asks, completely stunned. You let out a huff of frustration and stand up, walking away. He doesn’t hesitate to stand up and go after you. He grabs your arm to stop you. “Wait, you can’t just leave…”

You keep pinching your thigh, a part of you believing it will wake you up from this nightmare as you avoid his gaze. You take your arm away from his grip. “Just forget it.”

“No. You just said I’m the guy, right? The one you’re in love with?” He asks, all of his focus on you. You ignore his question and turn around, walking away. He groans and he moves in front of you, stopping you. “You love me?” But you just avoid his gaze and don’t answer his question. He sighs, “I’m not letting you leave until you tell me.”

“No.”

He frowns. “Look at me.” he whispers. “Please…” he moves closer to you. “Do you love me?”

“Why does it matter?”

“You tell me. Why doesn’t it matter?”

You punch your thigh harshly a few times as you finally look at him. Your breath hitches as tears well in your eyes, despite you trying to ignore them. “Because I’m just a slut.”

He grabs your hand and stops you. He feels panicked, not knowing what to do or say. He doesn’t want you to cry or punish yourself. “Stop it. Stop with that bullshit. You’re not a slut, don’t you dare ever call yourself that.”

“You said it yourself. You agree with everyone else. I know you don't feel the same. I know you'll never talk about me the way you talk about Yujin or see me the way you see her. I know you said you guys broke up, but so what? I know what I am and I know that's all I'll ever be.”

He feels tears prick his own eyes as he listens to you. He shakes his head, “Stop that. Stop saying that I’ll never feel the same. Stop saying that you’re just a slut.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter! It matters to me. You’re not just “some slut”. You’re my best friend.”

You frown as you feel the urge to cry become stronger. You take your hand away and you pinch your thigh again, just wanting the tears to go away. What he said made you feel awful. It’s not what you wanted to hear. You didn’t want to be just that…and he just kept reminding you that that’s all you are. “...do you honestly think that makes me feel better?”

He frowns, “Fine. Maybe it doesn’t make you feel better. But it should. Because it’s the fucking truth.”

“Are you even thinking about what I told you? Are you even thinking about how you're the guy I've been talking about? How every time you talked about Yujin, every time I saw you hold her hand, how you talked about her when you told me about the first time you guys had sex, that I just wanted to curl up and die? You don't get it. You calling me your best friend doesn't make me feel any fucking better. It makes me feel worse than when people call me a slut. But I don't want you to stand here and try to make me feel better, because if you think telling me you care about me because I'm your 'best friend' is going to make me feel better, then you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said.”

He stares at you sympathetically. He stares at you as he realizes just how badly he’s broken your heart. As he realizes he broke your heart. 

“I don't want to be your best friend. I don't want you to tell me I'm your best friend.” You keep pinching your thigh harder, but tears roll down your cheeks anyway. “I wanted it to be me.” you say as you cry even though you keep pinching harder. “I wanted to hold your hand romantically. I wanted you to smile at me the way you did with her. I wanted you to talk about me the way you talked about her.” Your breath hitches as you cry and pinch your thigh harder, your nails digging into your skin. “I wanted to be special to you. I wanted you to tell me you love me. I wanted to be your girlfriend...more than anything in the world.” You cry harder even though you try not to and you dig your nails more into your thigh.

He’s never seen you cry. Not when you broke your arm, not when your pet goldfish died, not when your first boyfriend broke up with you, not even when you get incredibly frustrated. He has never seen you cry. But he hates it. He doesn’t want to see you so sad, so hurt, in so much pain…and he hated it even more because he–the one person you loved more than anything else–was the one who was making you feel this way. He pulls you into him, hugging you tightly, just wanting to take your pain away, just wanting you to…feel loved. But you push him away and wipe your tears, and he notices the imprints from your nails on your thighs. He doesn’t even realize it, but he reaches his hand out and gently touches the marks as he looks at them. He touches the ridges softly and your skin feels so smooth to him, so precious, but you push his hand away. His eyes travel up to meet yours and he sees you’ve stopped crying.

“Why wouldn’t you just have told me how you felt?” he asks, quietly.

“For starters, you had a girlfriend. The other reason: it doesn’t matter.”

“What if I never got with Yujin? What if I was single the whole time?”

“I didn’t realize I loved you until you started dating her…”

“Why her? I’ve dated other girls before, so why her?”

You shrug, “She’s the only one you really seemed to be serious about…the only one you told you loved. Besides…I’m not some sort of homewrecker.”

“I wish you told me.” he whispers. “You were never going to tell me?”

“No.”

“So, you were just hoping I would never find out?”

“Yes.”

“So, you were just going to keep that secret for the rest of your life?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you were just going to live with that pain forever?”

“Are you going to keep asking the same question?”

“I just want to know…” he says as if he’s desperate. “Why…why would you not tell me?”

“Because you were with Yujin! Because you kept telling me how much you loved her! How pretty you thought she was, how happy you were to be with her, how smart and kind and funny and fucking perfect you thought she was! You were happy. You were happy with someone who wasn't me and although that killed me, you were happy. I couldn't do that to you.” you say as your voice breaks.

“So that justified you suffering in silence? Why would you rather see me happy while you were in pain?”

You look at him like the answer was obvious. How does he not get it? You stare at him as you remain quiet, looking at him as if it’s your last time. “Because I love you.” you say, softly.

He feels like you’re looking at him as if he is the most special person to walk on earth. He swallows out of nervousness as he realizes you gave him your heart completely. “You love me so much that you were willing to put yourself through hell just to see me be happy?” He doesn’t feel worthy of that…but you seem to think he is. You love him.

“Wouldn’t you have done the same for Yujin?”

You don’t want to hear him answer this. You don’t want to know, but you feel like he doesn’t understand. You feel like you keep repeating yourself and he’s relishing in it. 

He doesn’t know how to answer. Would he? Hearing how you describe your love for him, he realizes what he felt for Yujin maybe wasn’t love. Maybe it was comfort. Or security. Or the fact that someone wanted to be with him so seriously. Maybe he did love her, but…not the way you love him. This sounds like love. This sounds like what he was supposed to feel. “Yes…” he says, not really sure if that’s true. He wants to believe he loves her. He wants to believe he didn’t waste almost four years on something that ends up meaning absolutely nothing. He has to love her.

“Then you get it.”

“Did you just hope we would break up one day so you and I would get together?”

You sigh, “You still don't get it. I know you don't feel the same way. I know I am not the type of girl you want to be with. I'm not the type of girl any guy wants to be with seriously.”

How could you say that about yourself? Sunghoon doesn’t believe any of that, not for a single fucking second. “That isn’t true. You’re smart, kind, funny, and pretty.”

“Stop.”

“No. It’s true. Everything I just said is true. You think no guy would be able to fall in love with you, but they would. You would make an awesome girlfriend.” he tries to reassure you.

You don’t want any guy.

“You’re not making me feel better.”

“What am I supposed to do, then? Agree with the bullshit you’re saying about yourself? Because that’s not fucking happening.”

“What I want you to say…you can’t.”

“Try me. Tell me.”

You just look at him. He doesn’t get it. He isn’t saying it because he doesn’t feel the same. This realization makes you feel like you’re crumpling. You look at him, defeated. If you have to tell him, you know he would only say it to make you feel better, not because he actually wants to. That. That’s what hurts the most. He would say it because you’re his best friend…but you don’t want to be.

“...are you going to try and get back together with Yujin?”

He pauses. He thinks about it for a second. “Right now…I don’t know. I guess a part of me wants to try still. Does that make me shitty?” He’s not sure why he does. Yujin is the first girl he’s ever told he loved…and he doesn’t say it often. Maybe he’s like you, in a way. He doesn’t really like saying stuff like that. It felt weird when he said it. But he thinks that’s just because he’s never said it before. 

“Why would I?”

“I feel like an asshole for even considering it after everything you’ve told me-”

“She’s the one you love.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” he says, truthfully. He just needs to think. He just needs one damn second to think.

“Then let me make it clear: be with her. From my perspective, she's the one you want. What I told you, how I so stupidly cried in front of you, that doesn't matter. I told you this earlier: you should've chosen her. So just, make up with her tomorrow or whatever and be with her.” you swallow. “...but I can't be your friend.”

He sees you giving up. He hears it. He hates it. His mind is running a thousand miles per minute, he can’t fucking think and it’s pissing him off. “It’s not that easy. I can’t just ‘choose’ between the two of you. I’m confused, I just…I want to be with whoever makes me happy.”

He’s always been happy with you. Sure, you two fought, but you always got over it. You make him happy. So goddamn happy. But he’s scared. He just gave nearly four years of his life to Yujin…what if it’s because he does love her? 

“That’s her.”

“How are you so sure it’s not you?”

“I know.”

He groans in frustration. “So, I have to choose between the two of you?”

You. He chooses you. He’s not sure about the rest of it, but all he knows is that he chooses you. Four years with Yujin doesn’t compare to the years you and him have had together. Nothing else matters. You. Just you.

“Just be with her.”

“What if I want to be with you?”

He hasn’t thought about it. Maybe he chooses you only as a best friend. What if he doesn’t choose you for love? …does he love you? He recalls the teasing from classmates when you guys were younger, but he's never really given any thought to it possibly becoming real. Does he love you the same way he loves Yujin? Does he even love Yujin? He doesn’t know…he just doesn’t know.

“You don’t.”

“And what makes you so sure that I choose Yujin over you? What makes you so sure you’re ‘not enough’ for me?”

“...because you would’ve chosen me first.”

“I can still choose you.”

You sigh, “You're making this complicated. You know she's the one you love, stop feeling bad for me like I'm some lost puppy and just admit it. I don't want your pity and I certainly don't want you to say you ‘choose me’ because you're confusing your pity for feelings. Stop saying I'm this great girl and stop saying any guy would be lucky to have me, that makes me feel worse. So just make up with Yujin and get back with her. Reassure her that you love her because you do and tell her I won't be a problem anymore because you and I aren't anything anymore. Problem solved.”

Is this really what you believed? Is this really what you thought? He just needed some time, he can’t think. He doesn’t know what to think anymore. You were speaking as if it was impossible for him to love you, but what if he does? How is he supposed to know? How did he know with Yujin? He’s questioning whether he even loved her since he can’t even compare how he feels about you with whatever he felt with her. He just knows it’s stronger. But stronger in what way? He sees how you’re looking at him and he realizes the only way for him to succeed in making you feel better–which is what he truly wants–is to just listen to you. He doesn’t want to. But he wants to see you be happy, even if it means he isn’t.

“Are you really sure this is what you want me to do?” he barely asks, the words leaving his mouth without any fervor, as if he never wanted to utter them in the first place. As if he doesn’t want to hear your answer; see you walk out of his life.

You don’t answer him. You just look at him before walking past him. You hold your breath, knowing that once you exhale, you’re going to start sobbing. You felt so lonely. So lonely. You’ve always had him…and then you lost him to Yujin…and now, you’ve lost him for good.

He doesn’t turn around to look at you as you walk away, because he knows if he does, he will run after you and that clearly isn’t what you want. You want to let him go, at least that’s how he understands it. He doesn’t want that. He wants you. He knows that much, he knows he needs you. He’s not sure how things will look without you now. He never thought it would be like this, but here he is. …why does this feel so much worse than when Yujin walked away from him? Why does this hurt more than his actual breakup? The reason is one he doesn’t want to admit. He realizes the answer and he refuses to let it grow to fruition. He doesn’t know why it took him until now to figure it out, but he’ll realize that later. He wanted time…now, he’s got it.

-

Deja vu. That’s what this all feels like. Here Sunghoon was, again, at another stupid frat party around midnight. Here he was, again, with Yujin. He took your advice, he decided to apologize and get back together with her, and these past few months without you have felt like torture. Even using torture to describe it seems too dull. He has thought about nothing but you. He’s heard around campus about people you’ve hooked up with, but he doesn’t feed into it. As he stands here with Yujin at this godforsaken party, all he can feel is regret. He leans against a wall as Yujin talks with her friends and he practically chugs his drink. He doesn’t even want to leave the party because he doesn't think it's worth to waste any of his wants on anything but you. You make up all of his desires and he wants nothing more than for you to be back into his life. He finishes the rest of his drink and to his surprise, he does see you. He stands up straighter as he looks at you, but feels like his insides are on fire when he realizes you’re making out with Sungchan. On the couch. On the couch, you are making out with Sungchan. On the couch, Sungchan is running his hands along your hips and waist. On the couch, you let him. 

You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss Sunghoon. A part of you went missing the night you walked away from him. You’ve seen him around campus with Yujin and eventually, it finally felt like you were over it all. Over him. You wouldn’t say you’ve been getting around quite frequently, but you won’t lie when you say that you did get with some guys to help get over him. It didn’t work. But you won’t admit to that. To you, at least, you’re over it. Over him. Sungchan helped a bit with some of the lonely nights, but you two aren’t anything serious. He’s not into that sort of thing and, hey, neither are you…so this is fine. He doesn’t lie to you about how he feels or what he wants and for that, you’re grateful. Although, you do have to admit, making out with him feels boring. Being with him feels boring. It’s not fun like it used to be…and even then, you aren’t completely sure it was even fun in the first place. Whatever, you’ll get into it at some point.

Sunghoon watches, now it really feels like deja vu. Is he dreaming? Or…is this him getting a second chance? Is this when he can finally pull you away from Sungchan and be there for you? Finally tell you how he feels? How he felt the whole time…? Suddenly, his spirits are slightly lifted, that is, until Yujin crosses her arms and scoffs before shoving him. Sunghoon is surprised and turns his attention towards her. Some people look at them, but Yujin doesn’t care, she just looks at Sunghoon, furious.

“Do you even want me to be your girlfriend?”

Maybe honesty wouldn’t be best right now. “I do…”

“Then stop looking at her.”

“Let’s…not make a scene.” he says, trying to calm her down.

“Just be honest for once: do you love me or her?”

He doesn’t know how to answer. He knows his answer, he’s had months to figure it out. But…you made yourself clear. You were done with each other. He sighs. “Can I get a moment to figure it out?” he asks, honestly a bit surprised he didn’t just cave and reassure her.

Yujin frowns and scoffs. “Let me ask you this, then. Do you wish that you were making out with her?”

He looks back at you and Sungchan, seeing him whisper something to you and you giggling before he kisses you again. He looks back at Yujin. “Yeah.” he swallows, gathering all of his courage. “But, that sounds…awful. It’s like you want me to admit I regret getting back together with you or something-”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” he answers without hesitation. He feels all of his muscles tense up. Did he really just say that? Well…it’s the truth, but he never thought he would say it. He feels…better.

Yujin quickly squashes that by slapping him, “We’re done.” she says before storming out, her friends following. Sure, the slap hurt, but as Sunghoon looks back at you and Sungchan…the pain from the slap seems so insignificant in comparison.

You decide to tell Sungchan you’re getting a drink, so you get up from the couch and go into the kitchen. You pour yourself a drink and once you do, you walk to the backyard and take a seat on the patio. 

Sunghoon figures you want to be alone…but finds himself following you outside anyway. He walks over to you cautiously. You and him have spoken consistently for practically your whole lives, but he finds himself struggling to even say a simple sentence or ask a question. The time you’ve spent apart was multiple days…too many fucking days in his opinion. He can’t stand it. “Can I sit here?” he asks, referencing the spot beside you. You shrug as you take a sip of your drink. He feels relieved, baby steps, right? He takes a seat beside you and thinks for a moment on how to keep the conversation going. “So…what were you telling Sungchan?” …has he lost the ability to socialize or something because why was this the question he asks? He bites his bottom lip a bit in frustration at himself.

“Spying on me?” you tease as you extend your cup, offering him some.

Sunghoon chuckles softly and shakes his head. Hearing your voice for the first time in months makes him remember just how much he’s missed you. He feels like everything in his life is restored and he smiles a bit. “You guys were all over each other on the couch, is it really weird for me to wonder?”

You shrug, “I mean, just typical flirting and dirty talk or whatever. Why?”

He feels his breath catch in his throat. “Dirty talk”?...what the fuck? “Um…no reason…I guess I was just…curious or something.” he mumbles.

“Are you here with Yujin?” you ask as you take another sip of your drink.

He shakes his head. “Well, not anymore. She broke up with me so…I’m alone now.” he realizes how that might’ve come off. “Alone here now…not…me alone altogether…or anything.” he cringes and looks away from you, feeling completely stupid. 

“What? Why did she break up with you?”

“She…saw me…looking at you and Sungchan…so she broke up with me.” he says, not really wanting to say the other stuff from the argument. You laugh in response and he frowns. “Don’t laugh.”

You nudge his shoulder, “It’s okay. If she broke up with you for that dumb of a reason, her loss.” You say as you take another sip.

He smiles slightly. It feels like old times. It feels like he has you back. It feels like you want him back. “Yeah, you’re probably right. It’s probably best I don’t have her constantly being suspicious about me and you.”

“Especially since we haven’t talked in months.”

He feels caught off guard by your blunt statement. Sure, it’s true…but it sounds like you didn’t miss him. “Yeah…we haven’t talked in a while.” You just take another sip of your drink and he looks back at you. “I’ve missed you.” He waited for you to say something back, but you didn’t. “I’ve um…missed talking to you like before. Like, before…everything got complicated and stuff-”

“I know what you meant.”

He nods his head a bit, everything now feeling awkward. “So…what have you been up to? Anything interesting happen?”

“Nope.”

“Really? Nothing? Nothing at all?”

“Yup” you say as you take another drink.

“So…for the past few months, you’ve done absolutely nothing interesting?” he asks, his tone being more lighthearted and joking to try and diffuse the tension.

“No offense, but I’m not really looking to ‘catch up’ with you.”

Sunghoon feels his heart stop for a moment, but he tries to play it off. “Okay, ouch.” he laughs nervously, “So you’re not even remotely interested in talking with me?”

You shrug, “I dunno. These past few months without you, I’ve kinda just been doing my own thing, I guess.”

Your response left him feeling worthless. Like, he didn’t even mean a single thing to you before. Which, he knows isn’t true…but you sound like you mean it. “So, you haven’t missed me at all? Not even talking to me?”

“At first, yeah. But don’t worry, I’m not in love with you anymore.”

“...you’re not…in love with me anymore…?” he asks as he feels his blood run cold. You just shake your head and continue drinking from your cup. His heart sinks immediately. He feels small; insignificant. His mind jumps back to Sungchan and he frowns. “Are you in love with him now?”

“Him?”

“Sungchan.”

“Eh,” you shrug, “we’re not dating, just casual, I guess.”

“So, you’re not exclusive with him?”

“No.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah.”

He feels himself growing jealous and frustrated. How could you give yourself to someone who doesn’t love you? Sunghoon feels upset, realizing he unintentionally did the same thing, but still, not to this extent. He knows you. He knows you don’t want this…hopefully. But he sure as hell knows that you don’t deserve this. 

“That’s ridiculous. How can you be committed to this?”

“I’m not committed.”

He groans, “That’s…not what I meant. What do you two even get out of this?”

You shrug, “Why do you care? I get you’re a relationship guy even though you’ve only been serious with one girl, but don’t shit on me and what I choose to do.”

The way you spoke got under his skin. “I care because I happen to care about the people around me. In case you haven’t noticed, I care about you.” But you just roll your eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes. I’m being serious. Why do you feel like this isn’t worth talking about?”

“Because we aren’t friends. We aren’t anything. I don’t need your input.”

It feels like you’ve slapped him in the face, and this time, it fucking stings. “What do you mean we aren’t friends? We grew up together, how the hell are we not friends?”

“Are you stupid?”

“Am I stupid?” he asks, offended and frustrated. He was starting to lose his patience. “No. I’m not. I still consider you as my friend. We grew up together, went to the same schools, hung out every damn day, how is none of that relevant?”

“We haven’t spoken in months.”

“So what?” he asks, feeling as though your friendship suddenly means less than nothing to you, somehow.

“I told you that night that I wasn’t going to be your friend anymore.”

He freezes. He knows. He also knows you don’t just say shit without it meaning anything. He knows you aren’t friends anymore, but he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want you to be nothing to each other. He thought that if, maybe, he admitted he still sees you as his friend, you would admit the same. But you don’t. And now he feels that same empty feeling. “So…you’re just fine with letting us go without a second thought?”

You look at him, “Do you not remember anything from that night? Of course if fucking hurt; I was in love with you.”

“So it does matter.”

You sigh, “It doesn’t matter anymore; that was a long time ago.” you say as you take another sip.

He looks at you for a moment, feeling like his heart has become a punching bag and you were just taking any hit you could. Was this really the same person he grew up with? That he… “How could it not matter anymore? We used to mean the world to each other…how can that just…be…over?”

You look at him, “Because I had to get over you.”

“It’s not that easy. I spent everyday thinking about you. Everyday.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you!” He thought your question was so redundant, he honestly didn’t even realize what he said at first. 

“But…” you sit there, stunned. He finally said what you wanted him to say for so long, even if it was with a frustrated tone, still…it counted. “What about Yujin?”

“She…she doesn’t matter. You do. She always suspected I was in love with you-”

“Well, this is news to me.”

He deadpans. “Are you being fucking serious? I get I never said it before, but…” he pauses; he sees what you mean. “Okay…but…you never once thought it was possible that I love you?”

“No. Because that night when I told you that I was in love with you, you just kept saying I was your best friend. You’re so full of it.”

“I’m not full of it! I just…for fucks sake, I just didn’t know. I thought…I don’t know, I thought maybe for you it was just passing, or something, I don’t know what I thought I just…I don’t know.”

“Right. So as I stood there, crying my eyes out as I told you how much I loved you, you thought it was one sided.” you say as you roll your eyes.

“I…” he feels like he did that night, like he can’t think. “I just didn’t know, maybe something was holding me back, I don’t know.”

“I know why.”

He looks at you, relieved, thankful that you understand what he means. “You do?”

“Of course you didn’t want to admit to that. How embarrassing for you to have a crush on one of the school’s biggest sluts.”

He frowns. “That’s not what I mean. You honestly think it’s embarrassing for me to like you?”

“Exactly. And you knew that. I don’t blame you, no guy wants their girlfriend to be a whore.” You take another sip of your drink and you look at him. “Look, I’m not mad. I got over it and I honestly don’t care anymore. I know what I am and I know that until we graduate, that’s all I’ll probably be. But it doesn’t matter. Yujin breaking up with you not too long ago was dumb, you’re a really great guy, but you’ll find someone else.” You take another sip,  “I should probably head back in and find Sungchan.”

He felt anger wash over him. Not because you don’t believe him about being in love with you. Not because you were going to Sungchan. But because of the fact that you believe the things you say about yourself. You’re so special, so goddamn special, and Sunghoon is so scared as he realizes he may be too late.

“And what if I don’t want to find someone else? What if I don’t want anyone else but you?”

You look at him for a moment. “Do you remember how you would talk about Yujin with me? You may not remember everything you said, but I remember it all and I remember how you looked as you said it. You talked about her like she was the most special and most beautiful girl in the world. You had this smile that you only had with her…” you pause for a moment, “You may say you have feelings for me…but they're not like the ones you had for her, and that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel bad because you deserve to be happy, but you also deserve to find another girl that makes you talk and feel that same way…and I know that’s not me.”

You’re so wrong. You’re so fucking wrong and it was pissing him off. He wishes he just figured this out earlier. He wishes that he asked you out instead. He wishes that he told you he loves you that night. He wishes he kissed you. He wishes he held you and didn’t let go. He swallows, “You remember everything I said?” he asks, slightly surprised to hear that. Honestly, he doesn’t even remember what he said. Not anymore.

“Of course I do…I wanted nothing more than for it to be me.” you say quietly as you take a sip and sigh. “But like I said, water under the bridge.”

He feels tears begin to form. “Why did we have to grow apart? Why didn’t you just talk to me? Just one damn word. Something. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I can’t be your friend.”

“Why not?”

You look at him for a long moment, just staying quiet. “...I’m only going to say this once…but if I stayed your friend, I would just keep hurting myself…I would still love you.”

He stays quiet for a while. Even the loud music and chatter from the people inside seemed to drown out as he looked at you; you’re all that matters; you’re all that deserves his attention. “...did it hurt when we would talk everyday?”

You sigh softly and shake your head. “Not until you started dating Yujin. Before that, everything was fine. But once she happened…it hurt like hell.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I told you. I couldn’t do that to you, you were happy.”

“I would have wanted to know. I would have wanted to be there for you…”

You laugh a little, “No, that’s weird.” You shake your head and still laugh a little, “It’s fine, I’m over it.” 

“It’s not weird. It’s not okay for you to act like everything is fine.” he says, softly.

“Why are you trying to rehash this? There’s no point. Or do you like to hear about how I used to love you and it gives you some sort of ego boost or something?” you ask, not wanting to dive back into this…not again. He shakes his head, but he sighs. What is the point? You aren’t believing him and you’ve said it yourself…you’re over him. You stand up and his eyes follow you, “I’m gonna go find Sungchan. Later.” you say, not really meaning the ‘later’ part, but nonetheless, you walk away and all he can do is watch you leave…again.

He heads back into the party, wanting to find solace in getting batshit drunk or something, but he continues to torture himself by watching you dance with Sungchan. His eyes only focus on you, sure, he’s jealous and pissed off that you’re with Sungchan, but he only sees you. Sees how you move and he finds himself wishing you were dancing with him. 

Sungchan pulls you closer, just whispering sweet nothings in your ear and you feel his hands grab your ass. You giggle a little and try to enjoy your time with him as he starts kissing your neck. You laugh softly as you dance with him and, unfortunately for Sunghoon, he’s bearing witness to it all. His hand practically crushes his red solo cup as fury ignites within him when he watches what Sungchan is doing. That should be him. Not that he would be so…vulgar with his actions, but it should still be him instead. He sees Sungchan whisper something to you as he takes your hand and starts taking you upstairs. 

As he watched the two of you making your way upstairs, his whole body shook and trembled in rage. Every step that the two of you took together enraged him. He hated the way you casually held his hand and how he casually walked you up the stairs. He hated how he acted as if he had every right to touch you like that. He hated the fact that you were both so comfortable with one another at this point. He hated the fact that he was leading you away to his room…

You were so focused on following Sungchan, you were surprised to feel a tug on your other hand once you reached the top of the stairs. Both Sungchan and you stop and you turn to see Sunghoon holding your other hand. 

Sunghoon felt at ease, like he was grounded when he felt your hand in his. This made him more confident as he tugged you towards him, wanting you away from Sungchan. This pisses Sungchan off and he scoffs as he looks at Sunghoon. 

“The hell?” Sungchan says, not in the mood for any games. He tugs the hand he was holding, pulling you back towards him, but you find yourself only focused on Sunghoon as your heart starts to beat faster.

Sunghoon pulls you back towards him, his grip on your hand tightening. “Back off.” he says as he glares at Sungchan. 

“You back off.” Sungchan says as he tugs you back towards him.

Sunghoon realized that you were just being tugged around, so he stopped, but he kept holding your hand. “Let go of her.”

“You let go of her.” He looks at you, “Who the hell is this guy?” Sungchan asks, annoyed.

“Someone who actually loves her instead of using her.”

You look at Sunghoon, surprised to hear him say that. Sure, he said he loved you earlier…but this time when he said it, he said it like it was what he meant to say; what he wanted to say.

Sungchan laughs. “You love her?”

Sunghoon glares at him. “Yes. I love her. Now back off.”

Sungchan scoffs and puts his arm around you. “Tell you what, bud, you can have her when I’m done.” Sungchan winks as he pulls you towards him.

Sunghoon feels enraged. This asshole was acting so entitled, acting like he won this argument when Sunghoon knew damn well he wasn’t giving up. The fact that he had the nerve to call him “bud” too made Sunghoon want to throw him down the flight of fucking stairs. How he treated you was disgusting, talking about you like that in front of you. Sunghoon tugged you towards him one last time and Sungchan rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever.” Sungchan looks at you, “You know where my room is.” he says as he winks at you before walking away.

Sunghoon grimaces as Sungchan leaves, but feels better once he’s gone. The whole time, you were just looking at Sunghoon and you feel as though your heart is beating out of your chest as he holds your hand. After what he said. After all of this. He meets your gaze and he looks at you in a much more gentle manner. 

“You deserve so much more…” he whispers, his breath lightly brushing along your face since you’re so close together. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry-”

“Stop.”

“No.” he says as he lets go of your hand and uses it instead to gently cup your face. “I wasn’t lying. You are all I’ve thought about for these past few months and you’re all I can ever think about. I’ve missed you every single damn second of the day and I’m sorry I was too scared to say it all before. I love you. And all this time, I’ve just thought about what you mean to me and the answer is everything; you mean everything to me. ...that seems like such a vague thing to say now that I say it out loud.” he chuckles softly, “But everything means nothing if you’re not with me. Eating, sleeping, breathing, blinking, are all pointless if I can’t spend one goddamn second with you. I’m not embarrassed of you and I only realized that night when you left that I’ve always been in love with you. Always. What I felt with Yujin is all meaningless when I compare it to how I feel about you. I love you. It was never her. Not for even a millisecond. You asked me if I would put myself through pain just to see her happy and I told you yes. I lied. I thought that was what I would do, but I realized I actually did that with you. I let you walk away because that’s what you wanted. I didn’t want that, god-” he takes a sharp inhale as he rests his forehead on yours, “It’s always been you…and I’m so sorry I never said it until now. I’m so sorry I put you through all of that shit. I’m so sorry, but please…” he whispers as he looks into your eyes, all of his focus only on you. “I love you.”

You feel your breath hitch slightly and you feel so tempted just to kiss him, but you hold yourself back. You smile a little bit and pull away slightly, feeling relieved. “...I need to smoke. You want one?” you ask as you take his hand, going into an empty bedroom. 

He closes the door behind the two of you as you walk over and sit on the bed, opening the window beside it. He sits beside you as you take out your pack and he smiles a bit. “Yeah, I do.” he says as you hand him one. He watches as you light yours and then you light his for him. You both sit silently for a moment as you smoke, it being a comfortable silence until he speaks. “Thank you.” he says, mainly for lighting his cigarette, but he does want it to apply to you not leaving him again.

“I forgive you.” you say after a moment.

“You do?” he asks as he takes a drag and looks at you.

“Yeah.” you say as you take another drag yourself. “But you’ve got to get better at saying how you feel.” you tease.

He scoffs playfully and nudges your arm. “Says you.” he mumbles as he continues to smoke.

You laugh softly and shrug. “We’ll work on it.” you say before exhaling your smoke and he nods his head a bit as you both look out of the window for a moment. You glance at him and inhale from your cigarette before gently pulling him towards you. He turns his head to look at you and you kiss him gently, shotgunning the smoke slowly into his mouth.

His eyes widen a bit as his heart beats rapidly. He closes his eyes as he inhales, letting the smoke slowly fill his lungs while he leans forward to kiss you back, indulging in the feeling of your lips on his even if it wasn’t an actual kiss. After blowing out the smoke, you break the kiss and watch as he exhales the smoke. He does it slowly, feeling as though his lips are tingling, begging to meet yours again. He smirks a bit after he exhales all of the smoke and looks at you. “Damn…that was good.” he whispers as he blushes a bit.

You grin, taking another drag, “I’ve missed you.”

He takes a drag as well as smiles softly. “I’ve missed you, too.” It goes quiet, but this time, a comfortable silence as you two smoke. He blows some smoke out of the window and looks back at you. “Do you think…we could give this another shot?”

You follow suit and blow some smoke out of the window before looking at him. “Our friendship or…something more this time?”

“Something more. Both, hopefully.” he smirks a bit as he says this, taking another drag.

You smirk a little back and chuckle softly, “I really want that.”

“So do I.” he whispers as his eyes lock onto yours. He smiles softly, “We’re going to be official.”

He reaches for your hand and carefully interlaces his fingers with yours. You take another drag as you smile shyly. “Good…” you say, softly.

Your fingers seem to fit with his perfectly; everything about you is perfect and it was things like this that make him realize it all the more. You hold hands as you smoke silently, both feeling a fluttering excitement in your stomachs as your relationship dynamic shifts to one that you both have been longing for before you even realized it yourselves. He glances at you as he exhales some smoke.

“Good? Wow…I was expecting some more passion out of that.” he teases, gently squeezing your hand.

You laugh before finishing your cigarette and putting it out. You turn your body a bit to face him, “What about…fucking incredible?”

He laughs loudly at your new choice of phrasing. He calms down after a moment, “That’s more like it.” he says with a grin before smoking his cigarette again. His gaze lingers on you as he watches you smile at his reaction. Stunning. He leans in, letting go of your hand, placing his left hand beside you on the bed as his lips meet yours, kissing you. 

You don’t waste a single second, kissing him back immediately as your hand makes its way to the back of his head, your fingers threading with his hair as you push yourself slightly forward, pressing your lips against his more. He inhales sharply as he moves his left arm around your waist, pulling you closer, desperately. He puts out his cigarette and discards it, using his other arm to wrap around you as well as he pulls you onto his lap. You part your legs, straddling his lap as you grin a bit into the kiss, both of your hands using their fingers to gently tug on the ends of his soft hair. You feel yourself fill with excitement, the fact that this is really happening after every inch of your body has desired this exact moment makes you feel restless. 

Sunghoon runs his hands up and down your thighs, squeezing them gently, before moving them up to your hips, and then your waist. His hands suddenly felt so big against your skin, his fingers sending shivers throughout your whole body anywhere they touch. He opens his mouth slightly more and you take this as a sign to slip your tongue into it. He grins, this time, and he pulls you closer to him by gripping your waist; your bodies now pressed tightly against each other. He moves his hands to cup your face and you move yours to rest against his chest, your fingers tightly gripping his shirt in an attempt to somehow kiss him deeper. His tongue glides across yours as he kisses you with increasing desperation. The need for you grows every second that passes, he has to kiss every inch of you, he has to make you his, he has to make you feel loved; the only thoughts devouring his mind at this very moment consisted of nothing but you and his need to ensure you only ever want him. 

The kiss becomes sloppy, both of your lips becoming covered in one another, and you feel yourself craving more. So much more. You bite his bottom lip a little, testing to see if this will make him decide to take initiative, resulting in him gasping softly and releasing a low moan. He liked it. He liked it a lot. He moves his hands back to your waist, pushing you down against his lap and his jaw loosens a bit as he loses his breath, feeling you finally press against his erection. You moan softly, enjoying the feeling of some sort of contact where you desperately needed it the most and it felt so good knowing he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to have you. 

One of his hands grips your thigh and his other arm goes back to wrapping around your waist as he picks you up a bit and lays you back against the bed, not once breaking the kiss; at this point, kissing you has become his oxygen supply. Feeling your hands on him is the only thing keeping him alive. His lips part from yours only to kiss along your jaw, just below your ear, and down to your neck. You gasp softly and your eyelids flutter closed as you relish in the feeling of his soft lips kissing your skin. He takes one of his hands and uses it to move some of your hair out of the way, placing it on the back of your head, pulling your hair softly to move your head back so he has more room to work with on your neck. You let out a soft moan, feeling him leave open mouthed kisses on every single inch of your skin, him making sure he doesn’t miss a single spot. 

He opens his eyes a bit and looks at you, to see how he’s making you feel. He watches as your lips part slightly as you take in small gasps of air, as if he leaves you utterly breathless; you’ve never looked more beautiful. He watches to see what spot of your neck when he kisses it that you seem to like the most. Once he gets to a certain spot and watches you bite your bottom lip a bit, he smirks slightly against your skin and sucks gently on the area. His tongue laps the spot a bit as he sucks and nibbles on it; this was his spot now. You moan softly and you feel your breath slightly catch in your throat as he leaves a hickey. He leaves a few soft pecks on the spot a little after he’s left his mark and he smiles a bit to himself. 

You feel the warmth of his body pull away from yours and your eyes open as you look at him. The moon shined a bit through the window, the light falling beautifully on him as he looked at you with a slightly flushed face. He looked back at you, seeing you laying on this bed, all for him, he felt like he was going crazy. He sits on his knees between your legs as his hands run along your thighs; he just keeps looking at you, admiring all of you. You lay there, looking at him, feeling your body become hot as he looks at you through hooded eyes, as if you leave him in a trance. Your breathing picks up in speed as he runs his hands painfully slow along your thighs and as much as you want to pull him back towards you, you feel as though you’re frozen. 

He takes a slow, deep breath, as his left hand travels up to gently take your right hand. He holds it up softly, separating your fingers with his as he loosely holds your hand, his gaze now focusing on your hands. He raises your hand up and leans in, raising it to his mouth. He softly plants his lips on your fingertips, kissing them softly, up to your knuckles, trailing his lips to the back of your hand, then gently turning it to kiss along the palm of your hand. He closes his eyes as he kisses down your arm--slowly--and gently lays your arm back at your side as he kisses up to your shoulder. His hands move to the hem of your short dress, slowly sliding it up, you raising your hips to help him, and he stops, leaving it bunched around your waist as he goes back to kissing along your shoulder. He gently pushes the strap of your dress down your shoulder as he focuses on kissing your body, moving along your collarbone. He breathes deeply, pushing the other strap out of the way as he leaves open mouthed kisses on your left shoulder, down your arm, his hands gently holding it up as he kisses up to your wrist. You watch him, feeling as if your body is constantly shivering, still dressed (albeit, your dress is pushed up), yet feeling completely exposed. His hand envelopes over your left hand as he kisses your palm like he cherishes your entire being, the way he looks is as if he’s wanted to do this his whole life. 

He kisses your fingers, knuckles, and fingertips, opening his eyes slowly as he lets go of your arm gently. He moves his hands back to your waist, pulling your dress up more and you sit up, realizing your body is shaking, and he kisses your forehead before pulling your dress off carefully, like he’s afraid if he does it too fast, you’ll break. He lets the dress fall to the ground, the fabric hitting the hard wood floor just as softly as he lets it go. It’s as if the room is silent, no muffled music from downstairs, no rolling of tires from the occasional cars passing on the streets, no soft wind hitting the curtains, nothing except the quiet breaths escaping from his and your lips. He feels his erection become even more painfully hard as he looks at you, and he swallows, honestly trying not to let out a moan just at the sight of you. His breath stifles a little as he places his hand on the small of your back, steadying you as he leans back in, kissing the top of your chest. He feels himself growing more desperate, desperate to feel every inch of your skin on his lips, on his fingertips. 

He breathes in sharply as he presses his face more into your chest, his lips sloppily kissing along your chest as his need for you grows. His tongue trails along your skin and he shudders, his hands becoming shaky as he holds your waist, all his focus practically on making out with your chest. A low moan elicits from him and from the way he was kissing your chest with such desperation made you moan softly in response, one of your bra straps falling a little off your shoulder from his movements. It’s as if he senses it and just decides to unclasp your bra, still trying to let it slide off of you slowly and hold himself back, but once he sees you take it off, your bare chest exposed, he feels himself get so close to cumming in his pants. He gently lays you back on the bed, wasting no time, however, to wrap his lips around one of your nipples. Your breath hitches and you moan as he releases his desperation. Kissing, sucking, and fondling your breasts, small whimpers coming from him as he feels elated to finally be doing this. Spit covers your chest almost instantly as he licks and sucks, kneading your breasts, moaning as the soft flesh squeezes and molds beneath his hands. And it’s only until he feels his breathing becoming quick, his dick aching in his pants, is when he stops. He pulls away slightly, his hair slightly covering his eyes as he stares at them, his trembling fingers squeezing and spreading his spit along them, his thumbs pressing and circling your nipples, and you feel as if ripples just went throughout your entire body.

You gently push his hair away from his face and he goes back to kissing along your stomach, down to your panties. You can feel momentarily the thin layer of sweat covering his forehead when you push his hair away, running your fingers through his locks and he whines softly against your skin, his hands gripping your sides and finally moving to the edge of your panties. You wait in anticipation, expecting him to take them off, so you raise your hips slightly, but he pulls away. You pout–only slightly–as you look at him with a confused expression. He smiles sweetly, as if he’s not the one that caused you to quite literally soak through your panties. He’s noticed, god, he’s noticed, but it takes everything in him not to behave like some animal. So, with that, he moves his hands down to your feet, slowly taking off your shoes for you before setting them on the ground. He moves back a little, leaning down to kiss along your leg, stopping at your knee, before moving to do the same thing to the other leg, but this time, he kisses up your thigh, leaving open mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh, gently nipping at your skin, and up to your hip. He gazes at you through his eyelashes as he moves to kiss along the other thigh, closing his eyes as he moans deeply against your skin, his tongue running along your skin.

He takes in a shaky, deep breath, and you feel your whole body become stiff once you feel his warm breath scatter so deliciously on your core. He gently places his hand over your sopping panties and your breath hitches, your whole body feeling grateful for some sort of contact. His brows furrowed as he slowly rubs his middle finger along your clothed slit, a low groan escaping his lips as he feels even more of your wetness seep through the fabric as he pushes into it. His mind feels hazy; he has to taste you. He takes his hand away, licking his middle finger and he feels as if his whole body exploded. He moans quietly to himself, before gripping your thighs and sticking his tongue out, licking a slow, long stripe between your clothed folds to your clit. Your eyes roll back as you gasp and moan. His fingers dig into the skin of your thighs as he feels himself lose all sense of sanity. He wanted nothing more than to take his time, but fuck, he can’t do it anymore. 

His lips instantly latch around your clothed clit, sucking and lapping his tongue as he starts to subconsciously rut his hips against the mattress. His saliva soaks your panties entirely as he presses his tongue more firmly, causing you to moan louder, gasping, as your hand makes its way to his hair, your fingers tangling in it. He moans and pulls away only a little before diving back in, pushing your panties to the side with his face as he makes out between your folds. His jaw is working overtime, his tongue lapping and picking up as much of you as you can give, His nose bumps against your clit as he loses himself in your taste, eating you out like a madman. He groans and moans into you, his hip movements stuttering as he licks all the way back up to your clit, moving his right hand off of your thigh before pushing his middle and ring finger into you, making sure to rub them between your folds before he does. He sucks and licks your clit, moaning and whimpering as he pushes his fingers in and out of you, not stopping until his knuckles prevent him. 

You moan his name, gripping his hair, pushing his face against your clit more as your legs shake and you cum, moaning his name. He whimpers and the way you taste sends him over the edge as he feels himself cum in his pants, his jaw falling slack a bit, and he pulls his fingers out, desperate to lick them clean. You let go of his hair, trying to catch your breath and he sits up, his face slick and covered in you, and he tugs your panties off. You look at him, watching as he undresses himself and you feel your body become light as he reveals more and more of himself to you. His bare chest, his abs, god, his biceps, you were about ready to start touching yourself at the sight, desperate for him, but you managed to stay put. 

He feels his ego boost a little bit, watching how you look at him, examining his body as if he is some work of art. He’s going to give you everything he knows you deserve and that thought alone makes him smirk. You notice as he takes off his underwear the wet patch from his prior release, making you grin a bit. He finally lets his cock out, it still being painfully hard despite him having cummed already, and you gaze at it. You feel yourself clench around nothing, wanting him so desperately to fill you up and he sees it. He smiles innocently, as if you both aren’t completely naked and horny before he grabs a cigarette and lights it. He takes a drag as he spreads the precum spilling from his tip all along his length and you watch his every movement, honestly feeling your mouth water at the sight. You sit up and he motions his head to the window as the cigarette sits between his lips. 

You turn and face the window, propping your forearms against the windowsill as you look outside, the cool breeze honestly feeling nice against your flushed, hot skin. You feel his presence shift behind you as he takes another drag. He sighs softly, looking at yourself propped like this, he places his free hand on your hip, lining himself up with you. He moves that hand and gently brushes your hair softly to the side, exposing your back entirely, and you turn your head a bit to look back at him. He exhales some smoke and meets your gaze, gently brushing his fingers along your cheek. 

“Relax…” he says before leaning to whisper in your ear, “and don’t be afraid to let the neighborhood know my name.” he says before kissing your cheek. 

You feel your body shudder at his words and he holds the cigarette between his lips as he uses one hand to hold your hip, the other gripping his cock before he slides it up and down, teasingly, between your folds. You gasp softly and he smirks, pushing his tip against your clit and he hisses a little, more precum leaking from his tip. He guides his cock into you, needing to quickly grab his cigarette from his mouth due to his jaw falling slack as he bottoms out into you. Your fingers grip the edge of the windowsill, your jaw dropping as you feel him finally giving you what you want. You moan and become breathless. He takes another drag from his cigarette before moving his hand from your hip to your shoulder as he pulls his hips away and then thrusts himself back into you entirely.

He filled you up perfectly, and he was damn ready to cum just from the way it felt like you perfectly fit around him. So warm and so fucking wet. He thrusts in and out of you a few times, groaning as you moan, sounds of you coating his cock more and more each time he goes in and out of you. He takes a shaky inhale from his cigarette, his eyes rolling back a bit as he thrusts a bit faster, before taking the cigarette out of his mouth, gripping the back of your head, a handful of your hair between his fingers, as he pulls you up and turns your head towards him. You moan and whine looking at him as he kisses you, shotgunning you this time as he keeps a steady pace of thrusting into you. You felt like you were going to choke, but you inhale what he exhales and as he pulls away, you turn back and lean your forearms against the windowsill as you blow out the smoke, gasping afterwards and moaning his name.

“Good girl,” he groans and puts the cigarette out, putting both of his hands on your hips, thrusting faster. “Such a good girl.” 

You moan at his praise and breathe quickly as all you can do is let out strings of long moans as you feel his cock press into you over and over, him somehow hitting every area that makes your knees weak and mind hazy. His fingers dig into your skin as his hips rapidly pound and slap against your ass, the sound of skin slapping becoming louder and louder. You moan his name loudly, and as a reward, he pushes further, you feeling his tip brush against your cervix and you gasp, moaning his name lewdly. He grunts, the way you just moaned his name almost made him cum automatically. 

“Louder, sweetheart, come on.”

You gasp for air as he fucks you so goddamn good, and you try to arch your lower back a bit so he can go deeper. You moan his name as many times as he wants, whatever it takes for him to rut in and out of you faster, to which he obliged. His breathing becomes heavy and your legs shake as you throw your head back a bit, your jaw dropping as you let out a long moan, cum spreading all over his cock. He grunts and whimpers, wrapping his arms around your waist as his brows knit together, him leaning down and kissing your shoulder as he pumps you full of cum, a low moan coming from him and onto your shoulder. He moans your name softly as he lets out a few more shallow thrusts, making sure he gives you every last drop. You feel yourself shiver as the warm liquid pushes into you and you whine a little. 

After a moment of him holding you close and staying inside of you, he kisses your shoulder softly again before pulling out and pulling away. He lays back onto the bed and you shudder as you feel his and your cum spilling out of you and trailing slowly down your inner thigh. He opens his arms a bit and you go to him, letting out a sigh as you rest your head on his chest and feeling content when his arms wrap around you. His hand slowly moves up and down your back before he kisses the top of your head. It’s silent for a while as you both lay there.

“So…we’re a thing now?” you ask, partly joking, but part of you was seriously asking.

He looks down at you and scoffs playfully. “After all of this, you still don’t get it?” he chuckles softly. “I want nobody but you.”

w.c. ⟢ 1.1k

pairing ⟢ husband!sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis ⟢ it’s been a battle between your new kitten and your husband, sunghoon being bothered by the bundle of joy and him not understanding “shoo” and understanding “play”. one evening it is apparent that sunghoon wasn’t adoring his son which you have to make him understand that he is a cat dad now.

a/n ⟢ hi! i’m new to this fanfiction world on tumblr but from the looks of liking of my last post i thought to try and post a longer fic i’ve been working on. thank you so(x2) much for the likes and i hope i can create some more content for the engenes to read. thx again! ✮⋆˙

ᨐฅ

“love, could you grab this cat?” your husband calls from his office, his voice communicating irritation.

you head into his office from the kitchen to witness the cutest interaction. sunghoon is trying to shoo away your new family member but the kitten thinks he’s playing with him.

you make your way over to them, kneeling beside sunghoon’s arm chair.

“you know,” you hold the kitten in your hands. “he is your son.”

sunghoon scoffs. “he looks nothing like me.”

“oh really?” you turn your head, repositioning yourself to be turned towards him.

the kitten sits in your hands as you raise him to be right up to sunghoon’s cheek. their cute faces are identical. you fond over the resemblance.

“identical.” you smile ear to ear.

sunghoon watches at you, admiring secretly. he doesn’t let that adorable smile on your face ruin his stubbornness.

“son’s take after their mothers.” your heart flutters, only slightly, as sunghoon takes the kitten into his hold. His hands could almost crush him but his hold is gentle. same as you did to him, he presses the cat up against your cheek, amused already.

he nods to himself while he ping pongs his eyes between you two.

“same nose,” He taps both of your noses.

“same eyes,” He looks at both of your eyes.

“same whiskers.” he plays with the kittens, and pretends you have them as well.

“whiskers?!” you scoff, which sunghoon broke into an adorable laugh when he realized he teased you successfully.

you steal the kitten back.

“you meanie.” you give his shoulder a soft push before striding away, offended.

“you enjoy it.” you hear the smirk in his voice as your back is turned.

“yeah right.” you return back to the kitchen, definitely sulking, and letting your kitten sit on the counter top with you. you pet the kitten and he purrs as you mumble that you don’t and will never have whiskers.

later in the evening, sunghoon had finished his work in his office and came out to find you preparing dinner. you looked huggable but he knew he couldn’t startle you so he asked what you were making before he approached.

“something simple.” you kept it simple in replying as well. sunghoon could tell he bothered you earlier and eased his way over behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on the shoulder.

“forgive me, my love.” he says this with a deep sigh. the last thing he’d want to cause is an argument between the two of you or a distance. he loves to get a rise of you and see your cute reactions but he knows he can be unaware of how it affects you.

and that is why you’re always back in his arms every night, kissing his moles and insisting that he’s the most perfect human being. you turn your head to meet his lips, kissing him sweetly. a kiss where you close your eyes to really feel each other’s lips. you speak over his lips, the breath tickling his lips. “i always do.” and another peck, just for good measure.

sunghoon knew you were watching what you were cooking but couldn’t help wanting to kiss you longer and somewhere more comfortable.

his hands took your legs to lift you on his hips. you held your legs around his back and had your hands grip the back of his neck. he walked you from the kitchen to the couch, ignoring the dinner plans, and made you lay down below him.

you looked unreal. the moonlight shined through the windows of the living room and painted you a soft blue with the moon in your eyes. he wouldn’t have been able to let himself stop if it wasn’t for a cry from the bedroom.

groaning, sunghoon drops onto in the couch, letting you run to get him but you dragged him with you. sunghoon and you end up at the door, your kitten was crying for his parents. sunghoon focused his eyes on where the kitten was and it was crawling from his side of the bed with what looks like a small blanket covering him.

to say he was unimpressed that a cat got its own blanket before he fully ever got one at night was an understatement. H

he scoffed at the kitten’s baby treatment.

“he has his own bed, love.” and in your defense, you let sunghoon know it was just this one time.

you go claim your kitten and hand him over to sunghoon.

“take him to his water bowl or our dinner is going to be ruined.” you smiled softly at the two of them and patted sunghoon’s shoulder as you walked past him in the doorframe to get back to the vegetables.

now father and son are sitting at the water bowl. sunghoon watches as the kitten’s tail wiggles when he drinks. sunghoon laughs to himself, pulling out his phone to take a video. dinner is ready and you wipe your hands dry and go to call over sunghoon but catch the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

sunghoon’s tapping his nails on the ground like a spider for the kitten to attack. smiling brightly at the cat he, earlier, wasn’t the biggest fan of. this sure brings tears to your eyes. you speak up a big grin.

“father-son bonding time i see?” you tease, expecting sunghoon to get defensive but he picks up the kitten and makes his way over to you.

“i guess i never understood cats. they are quite cute.” he places the innocent fur ball on the counter and watches it walk, being extra cautious of the edge of the counter.

you have never been so proud to see this flip in him. you come around the counter and plant a kiss on his cheek.

“i knew you’d come around, you’re a natural.” sunghoon kisses you back and you two begin dinner.

the night ended with sunghoon putting the sleeping kitten to bed, placing the tiny blanket over him. he crawls into bed and into your arms. like tradition, you run your fingers through his hair and kiss his moles.

“i. love. you.” spacing the sentence with kissing a new mole. sunghoon hums with a soft smile. he opens his eyes slowly and gazes up at you. adoring his wife in front of him, he takes his fingers behind your ear to push back your hair and gently rubs your cheek.

“i love you so much.” “and your ability to keep me this in love with you.” sunghoon said as he leans into you. your noses brushing against each other as you stop right before connect his lips with yours.

“you’re the hottest cat dad i know.” you say, to possibly continue the kiss that could have happened on the couch.

“oh really?” the way he spoke those words sent chills down your spine and giggles up your throat. he meet your lips, kissing them satisfyingly.

𓉸ྀི ©vampirehoon

annoyed with you (in love with you)

paring ⟢ sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis ⟢ after planning a trip to the beach with your friend group, you begin to dread your possible encounter with sunghoon. you wouldn’t say sunghoon is your enemy but you hate when he teases you. you prepare to be teased when unexpectedly sunghoon doesn’t tease you like he usually does and when he seemed to bother you, he apologized - sincerely. you wonder what’s up with him and why he’s acting different.

w.c ⟢ 2.7k

genre ⟢ love/hate, friends to lovers, summer trip

the plan for a relaxing day at the beach finally managed to leave the group chat and be put into action. everyone drove up to heeseung’s place, as his house was closer to the beach, and brought along their beach items. heeseung offered to drive all of you to the beach, which began arguments between the boys while stuffing beach towels in the trunk. you didn’t mind where you sat, as long as you didn’t sit next to sunghoon.

yes, you always tell yourself it’s childish to be stubborn and not sit next to him but you have good reasons. sunghoon has been your friend the shortest time in your group and somehow has managed to discover every pet peeve and annoyance you have before jay could fully remember your birthday. he uses that to his advantage whenever out to eat together or play games. he thinks it's hilarious but it gets on your nerves.

sitting next to him would mean you wouldn’t be able to avoid his jabs and his teasing. you could have worn your headphones to ignore him but you forgot it at home, as well as your sunscreen. are you always this forgetful?

someone would surely not let you forget that.

“out of everyone, i’d expect the girl to have sunscreen.” sunghoon places his bag in the trunk of the car, patting it down, and turning around to smirk at you.

how lucky he is that you remembered sunglasses and are glaring at him behind them.

“thanks, sunghoon." "it’s good to see you too.” you bitterly smiled and walked away.

the gravel underneath your sandals rattled with every step and you knew sunghoon was following you as the gravel under his shoes were loud.

“was that too mean?” sunghoon spoke behind you, gaining up to you. “you know, i have extra sunscreen if you need it.”

you stopped in your path, sunghoon was late to stop as he had to walk back to stand in front of you. before you could ever accept his (skeptical) generous offer, you were searching for a smirk or any hint of a joke in his mannerisms. you were baffled he was serious and truly offering you sunscreen.

your lips parted to say something to him but sunoo’s scream trailed out of the house. he raced down the path the two of you were on as jungwon had a water gun in his hand. heeseung and jake followed out the door with beach chairs in hand. heeseung spotted the two of you together and flashed a big grin your way.

“ready to go?” heeseung smiled and bounced his gaze from you to sunghoon.

you and sunghoon nodded silently and watched heeseung walk down the path to his car. the trees shook in the summer wind and a bird cried overhead.

you’d have a lot to think about in the car.

you all showed up at the beach and jay and niki were already there - heeseung told you on the drive there that they rode their skateboards down. sunghoon had sat in the back along with jake and were talking nonsense, you took the passenger before anyone could but as the drive began you wished you sat by sunghoon.. for some reason.

the beach was breathtaking, the wind was strong enough to create waves for surfers but not too strong enough to blow sand around or tip over umbrellas.

you got out of the car after checking your hair in the sun visor mirror and walked to the trunk. the majority of the bags and coolers were taken by the boys and you grabbed what was left. 

you all settled close to shore, with a tent for shade and a table for the most important beach food: watermelon. jay got to cutting the mouth-watering fruit immediately as everyone set up the spot.

setting your towel down on the sand and taking off your sundress, you were ready to check the water. a watermelon in your hand and your sunglasses perched on your head as you walked to the shore. it was freezing, but you chose to stand there and enjoy the horizon. 

someone's idea of fun was to surprise you and that was jay. jay had put on his sunscreen, laid out his towel and his cooler, and spotted you approaching the shore. he saw that the others were occupied by drinks and talking so jay took the opportunity to seize jungwon’s water gun (when he wasn’t watching) and spray your open back.

stealthy, jay walked around the tent and found jungwon’s chair and his several summer items. jay laughed to himself as he found jungwon’s bucket and shovel but looked past it and found the water gun.

sunghoon was still thinking about you. he watched you earlier excited for watermelon and admired you silently. he is aware he annoys you but he finds your reactions cute. as you revealed your swimsuit, he knew he teased you too much at times but if he could tell you how cute you were, he would mean it, and not in a teasing way.

you placed the rime of the watermelon up the shore as you moved back into the water. nothing could bother you at this time.

that's when freezing water hits your bare back and you gasp. immediately, you default any messing with you to be sunghoon's doing and you yell sunghoon's name as you fall in.

this alerted sunghoon, who wasn't paying attention to what was going on, into worry. from what he sees and hears, you've called for his help and jay is laughing at you a couple steps away. aunghoon felt protective suddenly.

out of nowhere, sunghoon shouted as he walked over.

“be careful with her.”

jay tries to put a stop to his laughter and apologize to help you up but sunghoon gets to you first as you groan sitting up. you realize that it wasn't sunghoon who sprayed you and instead it was jay. focusing on sunghoon beside you, you feel your cheeks burn and it's not from the sun.

you wonder where sunghoon has gone because before you an angel with his hand out.

you take his hand but not after sheepishly thanking him under your breath. you get back on your feet and anticipate sunghoon to say something to you as he pauses in front of you.

“sorry y/n!” jay says louder for you to hear and rubs his face. that's when he is struck with the same freezing water he shot at you. sunghoon stands beside you, his ankles in the water, and splashes the water at jay relentlessly. sunghoon’s form of revenge.

you began to chuckle at the way jay pleaded and sunghoon’s amused laugh as he continued. sunghoon turns his head back at you and asks you to help him. you couldn’t resist, jay deserved it.

jay seemed to remember he had a water gun after being (if not entirely already) drowned in water and fired back with his best attempt to block the water as well.

it’s sunghoon who cries now, shivering as the water hits his skin.

the commotion is spotted by niki and heeseung.

“oh my gosh.” niki laughs, very entertained by this.

jake and jungwon look over, both holding watermelon slices. jungwon spots his water gun in jay's possession.

“hey! that’s my water gun!” he points.

jake takes a bite and then spits some juice from laughing when noticing jay’s hair resembling a wet dog.

jay still sprays the two of you, moving his hair out of his eyes as you two are defenseless.

heeseung sees you and sunghoon together, not bickering for once. heeseung knows you two very well and was the one to have you two meet, he finds it very surprising you two are helping each other. 

your hands are held up in front of you and your eyes are squeezed shut, yelling for Jay to quit it. right after you yelled, you feel the water no longer on you. you open your eyes to see sunghoon, with his arms out, standing in front of you to shield you. your cheeks burn a soft pink.

“ACK IT'S SO COLD!” sunghoon exclaims.

you're baffled, this isn’t what you envisioned this day out with sunghoon would be. for some reason, you felt the need to shield sunghoon as well.

you move under his arm and stand in front of him. heroically saying, “i can protect you!”

sunghoon couldn’t enjoy your cuteness as he was still getting hit by jay. adoring but slightly disappointed in your efforts.

“i would thank you but you're much smaller than me so i’m still getting hit.”

“no. i trust you, i am blocking all of it.” 

“short people and their determination..” sunghoon teases.

you sharply scoff, turning to him right as the spraying stopped - jay ran out of water.

“oh, screw you then.” you push sunghoon.

sunghoon manages to keep his balance and smirks.

“oh yeah?” sunghoon stands up, seeing the terror in your eyes. you try to make a run for it but sunghoon gets a hold of your waist.

you can’t help but laugh as he holds you above the shallow water.

“say sorry or I’ll throw you in.” sunghoon holds you.

you are laughing and can't get words out.

“are you ticklish?” sunghoon asks, a smile forming on his lips from your infectious laugh.

“i don't know why i’m laughing” tears are forming in your eyes. it’s uncontrollable and you don’t know why.

“but i am sorry!” you catch your breath and grip sunghoon’s arm, scared to be thrown in.

sunghoon lets you down.

“thank you.”

you get down and fix your hair out of your face. you look over at sunghoon and you can't lie and pretend you haven't been admiring his torso. he's still a pain in the butt and you won’t forget that.

you take the chance when he’s shaking his hair out and splash him with more water. he definitely could throw you in now but this is a game of cat and mouse now. you make a run for it when sunghoon's mouth hangs open in betrayal.

sunoo looks like your best candidate for a bodyguard and you wrap your arms around him. sunghoon runs up to everyone under the tent.

“tou are not dragging me into this.” sunoo voices at you.

“you two are like tom and jerry.” jungwon adds.

“sunghoon is tom.” you say as you grab another watermelon slice.

“because I’m tall?” sunghoon grabs a piece too, deciding to drop the chase but more than happy to chase you around if you get annoying again.

“no, because you start the arguments.” you evilly grin.

“no, i do not.” sunghoon shakes his head, his mouth full of watermelon. you smiled at how cute he could be upset and eating watermelon.

“you do.” niki chimes in, hitting a volleyball on sunghoon’s shoulder. 

sunghoon was going to say something but niki spoke before him.

“there’s an open net," "let's play a round.. or two."

the sky was getting dimmer but you all promised you would be back home before sunset. volleyball was tiring and even more fun when sunghoon was on your team when before it would always be the opposite. sunghoon called your name when you could hit the ball over and roared when you got them a point. you’ve always found sunghoon handsome and fun but it was present now. the game died down and everyone returned to the spot to pack everything up.

you and sunghoon sneak glances at each other as you loaded the car and even split a last part of the watermelon. you and sunghoon were on your way to the car when you remembered you left your water at the volleyball court. you ran off without telling sunghoon and assumed he would sit and wait in the car.

you reached the court and grabbed it and took a small sip. you stood there and looked around at the people who were heading home as well. the horizon was slowly growing with colors and your eyes trailed until you saw sunghoon walking over. you nearly choked and had to clear your throat and turn your head so Sunghoon didn’t see you surprised.

you waited until he came to the court. he seemed to have a lot on his mind and it was different from just earlier, you two were sharing smiles. you read his face the best you could and hoped he would explain his expression.

sunghoon sighed deeply and looked at you with heavy eyes.

“i’m sorry.” 

those words leaving Sunghoon’s mouth felt painful. You’re hoping he’s okay because why on earth would be apologizing? 

“for what?” your eyebrows furrow, genuinely worried.

sunghoon looks sincere.

“everything before.” he sighs, his eyes shining with the orange sky. you didn’t know what to say or what he could mean, everything was going well.

“i guess i never knew how to communicate my feelings to you and i’ve acted in a way that hurt you.” "i don't want my teasing to ruin our relationship."

you feel bad that you've let him think he's causing you trouble with teasing when you have just been childish. you don't mind his teasing, and if anything you like when he laughs at your expense.

you take sunghoon’s hand and look at him.

“sunghoon.” that’s all you had to say and sunghoon’s attention was yours. you knew you had to say the perfect thing to communicate your feelings.

“i always forgive you,” “and i know why.”

sunghoon looks at you softly, listening intently.

“i’m in love with you.”

those words leaving your mouth felt truthful and genuine. You felt vulnerable sharing those with him but you knew that this is what you truly felt. you were annoyed with him because you didn’t understand you were in love with him.

not a lot of people were still left on the beach, sunghoon wouldn’t have cared if it was one person or a million. he wanted to kiss you and kiss you dearly underneath the purple and orange clouds and by the salt waves. he wanted to scoop you into his arms and be with you until sunrise.

sunghoon took your waist and moved you closer to him, stopping before he would kiss you and not be able to stop. his heart and your heart were pumping fast in your chests.

“can I kiss you?”

in a sunghoon fashion, he still managed to annoy you. How annoying that he’s been so caring and sweet today. how annoying he’s apologized for things he did because he liked you. how annoying he wouldn’t just kiss you and be your boyfriend.

you roll your eyes with your lips curling in a smile.

“don’t make me wait.” 

sunghoon laughs softly and leans in, his lips fit yours. who knew kissing would make your thoughts melt away and your heart sing? taking in every second of this kiss and it felt right. you broke apart and you've lost your confidence after the kiss. you can’t help but blush and avoid his gaze.

sunghoon notices this and turns your head to him and his smile and laughs are infectious.

“hey, what happened to the girl I kissed?” he teased, the confidence and shyness had traded from one another as he smirked.

“she’s been replaced by someone much cuter.” you’re essentially a strawberry at this point, he’s now discovered a new skin tone you could achieve. you playfully hit his shoulder and walk through the sand.

he catches up to you and interlocks your fingers. sunghoon's apology was a kiss to your knuckle as he brought it to his soft lips.

“do you want to walk around and or get ice cream?” you look up at sunghoon and he melts.

“can we?” 

“don’t make me wait.” sunghoon takes off, running ahead of you, and makes you laugh for the hundredth time.

laughing will not get old with sunghoon and you know it. charging after him, you know that you’ll never get tired of his teasing or how he smiles.

it’s impossible to be annoyed by him because you’re in love with him and he is in love with you.

I LIKE YOU ⸺ PARK SUNGHOON

genres! fluff, best friends to lovers

word count! 649

warnings! minor profanity, mention of undergarments and being partially nude

synopsis! in which park sunghoon likes many things, but he’ll always like you the most

Sunghoon liked the ice—or more so he liked the feeling of gliding on it, especially when it was freshly polished. He liked the vibrations in his feet and legs whilst skimming the frozen water, he liked the sound of the blades on his skates scratching against the transparent crystalline solid, and he liked how the small particles of frost would spray up in the air after he landed a trick, showering him in white crystals, it felt magical, but his favorite part was you standing at the sidelines, cheering him on, calling out his name, smiling at him, clapping for him.

His friends, family, peers, and even you; his best friend were always under the impression he liked being on the ice the most, but what Sunghoon really liked the most was being able to spend quality time with you, preferably just the two of you, the ice just makes allowance for it.

Sunghoon liked autumn, it was his favorite season of the year. He liked the crisp air, the warm tones of orange, yellow, and fiery red leaves clinging to the branches of the trees until they dropped to the ground, and the rustling noise they made as they floated around the sidewalks, mixing and mingling in piles as if waiting to be crunched underneath his shoes. He liked the smell of pumpkin and cinnamon and other spices mixing together that seemed to waft through the city, courtesy of the myriad of cafes in Seoul. Notably, he mostly enjoyed it for the coca and cider.

But the part he liked the most? The sacred tradition of campfires in your friend group, always having to roast your marshmallows for you because you would burn them and complain about the taste of your s’mores being too chalky, never minding the fact that he would freeze his ass off by lending you his jacket because you refused to wear one, claiming it would “ruin the fit”, but above all, he liked the way you would cuddle into him later into the night when the air became slightly more frigid and you said no to going inside the tent because in your words “a hoe never gets cold”, instead you would seek his warmth, sitting between his legs and leaning back to rest your head on his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist in turn while resting his chin on the top of your head.

Sunghoon liked autumn, or perhaps he just liked autumn with you.

Sunghoon liked the color white, the purest of all colors, or maybe it just looked that way when you were wearing it, or maybe it was because he often dreamt of you in a particular dress of that color as you made your way down the aisle towards him where he waits at the altar, bouquet in your hands and a soft melody playing somewhere in the background. White was the color of serenity and simplicity, a symbol of a new beginning, much like the future he imagined with you, he hoped one day you and him could start fresh, not as best friends but as lovers and it would be serene and simple, not messy and complicated because he hated that, he had spent too much of his life loving you for it to come to that.

But as Sunghoon sits across from you at the library table, wondering how in the hell he's supposed to confess to you after all these years, you snap him out of his thoughts.

“Wanna get some snacks?” You ask in a whisper.

He looks up at you from his laptop, the bright screen illuminating his face; creating a gleaming reflection in his ebony eyes, almost like the facet of a Milky Way glowing in the dark abyss of space.

That's the way you've always seen Sunghoon, your best friend since kindergarten and even now in your junior year of university. You thought the world of him, the way he could always manage to brighten up your day no matter how gloomy your mood was, and if the multiverse were real, you were fairly certain that you and he were best friends in every single one of them because, for you, a life without Park Sunghoon was a galaxy without its stars: impossible.

The raven-haired young man nods in agreement and you both get up from your seats quietly so as to not disturb the other studying students, and saunter out of the library, towards the vending machines placed at the front of the building.

Sunghoon pulls out his wallet before you can even though you'd already told him you'd pay on the walk there, and just as you are about to open your mouth to protest, you catch a glimpse of a familiar photo in the transparent pocket of his wallet, stopping you from your objection as a cheeky grin makes its way on your face, a mischievous glint in your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest and melodramatically breathing in the scent of petrichor the rain from earlier left behind.

Your sudden change in behavior doesn't go unnoticed by your keen best friend as he continues with his purchase from the automated food and beverage apparatuses while keeping his eye on you from his peripheral vision, not bothering to raise a question regarding what snack or drink you want since he already knew your favorites.

“What kind of scheme could you possibly be plotting in that pretty head of yours?” He probes playfully, internally analyzing every small detail of your current situation for an answer to your puckish comportment but fails to come to a conclusion.

“You have a picture of me in your wallet?” You inquire but the teasing tone in your voice tells him it's a rhetorical question and he knows he's busted.

a delicate pink blooms on the skin of his cheeks as he rubs at the back of his neck, to his luck the merchandise drops from the spinning coils inside the machines and he quickly grabs the snacks and bottled drinks from the slots, shoving yours in your hands before rushing back into the library, completely avoiding you.

The rain had returned by the time you and Sunghoon walked back home, deciding it was best to make a beeline for his apartment which thankfully was only down the street.

The raindrops fell in a downpour as you both carefully sprinted towards shelter, the cold relentless droplets soaking your clothes, leaving goosebumps in their wake, as soon as you entered his apartment he offered you one of his hoodies to change into after telling you to take a warm shower and he follows suit once you're done.

To your relief, your bra and underwear remain dry and you slip them back on along with Sunghoon’s black hoodie, a part of you feels slightly awkward about being partially nude under your best friend’s pullover hood, but you are mainly grateful it fits like a dress, the hem stopping at your thighs.

You sit on the marble countertop of the kitchen island as Sunghoon cooks ramen on the stove, clad in grey sweats and a pullover hoodie similar to yours with the exception of being navy blue in hue, the situation feels domestic and its moments like this in your friendship that you think you and Sunghoon have the potential of being more than just best friends.

For a moment you imagine you are brave enough to tell him your feelings, how his embrace feels like the safest place you could ever be, how his smile never fails to wonderstruck you as if you’ve just been shown all the secrets of the universe, how his comforting presence is the only thing you need after a bad day, how “best friend” was too weak of a word to describe what he meant to you because in truth he was more than that, he was a part of you, a part of your soul, and he had a way of being in your life that nobody else did, he understood you even when you didn't understand yourself, and who knows? Maybe one day you will, maybe one day you'll tell him everything your heart has left unsaid.

“Hey, Hoonie?”

“Yeah?” He turns to face you.

“That picture in your wallet,” you speak softly and sincerely with a gentle smile. “Keep it there.”

Fuck it. Sunghoon thought to himself, how could he not do anything when you were smiling at him like that, especially when you were wearing his clothes, and the sweet look in your eyes only ignited the candle in his heart, the flame burning brighter than it ever had before.

In one swift movement, Sunghoon steps forward, cupping your cheeks in his big hands as his lips press into yours, not too rough and not too gentle but filled with passion.

You close your eyes and allow yourself to relax, a sense of bliss washing over you, your lips move in sync with his, they are soft and warm, and you can taste the flavor of his chapstick. He bites down harshly on your bottom lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth, your wet muscles swirling with each other feverishly, his hands dropping down to grab your waist, his grip tightening as he pulls you in closer to him so your chest is pinned against his and you wrap your arms around his neck.

Slowly you pull away from one another, pressing your foreheads together as you both catch your breath, opening your eyes a few moments afterwards.

He clenches his slender fingers, squeezing your waist lightly as his eyes bore into yours, “I like you, I always have, and I always will.”

You chuckle and peck his lips before replying, “And I like you, Park Sunghoon, always have and always will.”

© 2023 hoonven, all rights reserved. i do not give permission to alter, repost, translate, or plagiarize my works on any platform.

❛❛in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you❞ ⸺ PARK SUNGHOON

genres! fluff?, angst, celebrity x celebrity, ex-lovers, everything everywhere all at once au

word count! 1380

warnings! mention of breakup, heartbreak

synopsis! in another life, you and park sunghoon are lovers, just not in this one

note! this fic was inspired by a quote from the movie ‘everything everywhere all at once’ also I'm not very good at writing angst because I hate it but I did my best

“Congrats, big shot,” a familiar voice says from behind you, and you can hear the teasing smile in his tone, “actress of the year award, you're in the big leagues now.”

You turn around to face Park Sunghoon, a renowned figure skater and your ex-boyfriend. You haven't seen each other in almost a year but the sight of him still has the same effect on you it did all those years ago.

He's hauntingly beautiful and you're a house of horrors.

You offer a polite smile, but it's bittersweet as if you were greeting death itself.

“Congratulations to you too, you're becoming a bit of an A-list yourself since you won the Olympics.” you quip, and you both know what kind of game you're going to play tonight.

It’s the same one you always play, the one where he pretends you didn’t break his heart and you pretend everything is fine.

Sunghoon smiles at you too, like you're everything he's ever had and everything he's ever lost.

“Maybe we should exchange autographs like middle schoolers trade Pokémon cards,” he says, and you both chuckle.

“Hmm, I have a feeling mines will be more valuable.”

He playfully puts a hand over his heart. “That’s hurtful, y/n, but I can’t deny that it’s also true.”

The gala was still roaring with life when you stepped out for some fresh air, you sat on concrete stairs, not caring if you got your 20,000-dollar dress dirty. You couldn't care about a lot of things lately.

You and Sunghoon had long parted ways, the conversation only lasted about five minutes before you were seated at your respective tables, you didn't see him again after that.

You’ve gotten everything you ever dreamed of at this point in your career, and you accomplished all your goals, in the beginning, it all seemed so impossible, but now that you're here and you've done it, you’re not so sure what's left anymore.

The sound of the door opening catches your attention, a tall, pale figure steps out, dressed in a purely black suit, and you recognize him instantly.

“Following me?” you prop your chin in your palm as your elbow rests on your knee, carrying the weight of your head as you tilt it playfully.

He’s not startled by the suddenness of your voice, which tells you, yes, he was looking for you.

He smiled. “Maybe.”

He sat next to you on the stairs, not caring if his 5,000-dollar suit got dirty, though it wasn't actually because he didn't care about the suit, but because he just wanted to be close to you.

You're both silent for a while, simply appreciating being in each other's presence after so long.

Or maybe it's because you don't know what to say and he has too much to say, so you settle for the piercing silence of unsaid words.

Sunghoon has been silent his whole life, but he promised himself tonight he wouldn't be.

“Was it worth it?”

Ah. There it is.

You think as the corners of your lips curl upward, you knew this question was coming, you sensed it the moment you saw him again.

If he had asked you that a year ago you would’ve said yes, no hesitation, no second thoughts, just a straight-up yes, and you would have meant it too.

Suddenly the silk fabric of your dress starts to itch your skin, your diamond embroidered heels start to hurt your feet, and your pearl jewelry feels too heavy.

In only a single minute, Park Sunghoon has stripped you of your persona, called you out for the fraud you are, and seen the real you.

And he accepted you.

You lie to save your pride, it's a habit of yours that he knows all too well.

He doesn't think you're perfect, but you would never have to be for him to love you.

“Sometimes,” you say.

You don't bother lying, he’ll know.

You had always been a good liar until Sunghoon came into your life.

He gently nods in understanding at your response, “Do you ever think about it? About us?”

With a chuckle, you reply, “Of course I do.”

It's true that sometimes leaving him is worth the life you're living now, but there are fragments of times when you imagine what your life could've been with him.

In another life, you never left Sunghoon, you got married, bought a home together, adopted a dog, and had a child.

On the surface that sounds nice, but in another life, you are a housewife with broken dreams, you bought a home together but it wasn't the one you always dreamed of because you had to compromise with Sunghoon, you adopted a dog but you were never really an animal person, and you had a child but motherhood was never for you.

In another life, you are happy to be a housewife, you and Sunghoon bought your dream home together, you adopted a dog that you both love, you had a child and you are the most loving mother.

In another life, you are not a housewife, you and Sunghoon bought a home even better than your dream home, you adopted a dog but you're more of a cat person, and you never had a child but you always wanted to be a mother.

In another life, you and Sunghoon work from home, you bought a decent home together, and although it's not your dream one, it's good enough, you adopted a cat, and you never had a child but because that's the way you liked things.

In another life, you and Sunghoon are divorced, the home you bought together is just walls and a roof with painful memories, you don't adopt any pets, and you never had a child.

In another life, Sunghoon is a househusband, you don't care about having a dream home because any place is home with him, you adopted a dog and a cat, and you had a child who has everything they could ever want.

In another life, you and Sunghoon are teenagers again falling in love for the very first time, and you have no idea what the future holds for you.

In another life, you and Sunghoon are just a little bit younger than you are now, in the kitchen of your shared apartment, and you are trying to figure out how to do laundry so all your clothes don’t turn blue again and how to properly calculate your taxes so you don’t go to prison for tax fraud.

In another life, you and Sunghoon have grown old together, and you are experts at doing laundry and taxes.

In another life, you are the bottles of salt and pepper on the table of a random diner and things are entirely less complicated.

In another life, you never meet Park Sunghoon.

The possibilities are endless, and the truth is, you never know what will happen in your life, and that's scary, but you hope in another life you learn to accept the bad just as easily as you accept the good.

“What does it look like?” he asks.

“Laundry and taxes,” you shrug.

You both laugh at that.

“What about you?” you ask.

“Taxes and laundry,” he smiles.

You both laugh again.

The party inside is completely forgotten about as you and Sunghoon spend what feels like hours just sitting and talking, until the realization that it’s time to go home dawns on you.

Sunghoon gets up first, holding his hand out for you to take, and you do, but when he helps you to your feet he doesn't let go just yet, instead, he looks into your eyes and you feel his thumb caress your knuckles.

“It was nice to see you again, y/n.”

“It was good to see you again too, Sunghoon.”

He finally lets you go and you already miss his warmth.

He almost walks away but turns to face you one last time.

With a hint of a smile on his lips, he says, “You know, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”

And then Park Sunghoon walks out of your life forever, and you let him.

In another life, things didn't end that way.

© 2024 hoonven, all rights reserved. i do not give permission to alter, repost, translate, or plagiarize my works on any platform.

ALLODOXAPHOBIA al-lo-dox-a-pho-bi-a is the fear of opinions. This phobia can manifest as a fear of being pressured by the opinions and expectations of others, including friends.

[college student!p.sh x female college student!reader] Genre: Angst Word Count: 1,135 Notes: BREAK UP!! (even two); Sunghoon is a jerk (ok,, ig??); written in third person; both Sunghoon and Jungwon are on the same Basketball Team; female!reader has kind of unhealthy coping mechanism; English is not my first language,, so bear with my grammar/spelling mistakes; inspired by the song: pale honey-friends PHULEASE,, read the authors note at the end,, shank yewww !!! DO NOT REPOST NOR TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION !!! :NOW PLAYING: 🎧 Pale Honey - Friends 🎸

1:19 ───|────── 4:09

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

A month had passed. Exactly a month since that one unfortunate night when their relationship ended. Since then, she had finally allowed herself to feel and breathe freely. She permitted herself to identify the sadness, the anger, the disgust, and the deep emptiness within her. Yet, she also granted herself healing and the assurance of her own presence and peace of mind. She made the decision to avoid any interactions with him at all costs, just to let herself breathe.

I set myself free in my own time now I'm all alone I really don't mind

At some point, she found herself in the stands of the basketball hall, there to show her support for Jungwon - her best friend of six years — who was ready to have a match with his team against the opposing school. As she sat there, she overheard some girls sitting in front of her gossiping about her and Sunghoon's past relationship.

Apparently, every time Sunghoon is asked about the reason for their breakup, he either shrugs it off by telling others that they didn't share the same trajectory or, if he's constantly pressed about it, he says they broke up because of a lack of time due to their tight schedules and exams. What a lie.

but would you leave it out when you tell everyone about us so much went so wrong between me and you

Trying to ignore the recently received information, she cheered silently for her best friend throughout the whole match, yet she was not able to shrug off the memories of her breakup with Sunghoon. Sunghoon has always been a man of pride, whether it was his grades, his looks, or his family's wealth. He always had everything he wanted. Yet, the only thing he did not have was a significant other. While all his friends were bragging about their relationships, Sunghoon could not help but feel pressured and down. So he decided to date her.

They met in a shared chemistry class, where Sunghoon desperately looked for a girl he could pick to be his girlfriend. He flashed his beautiful smile at her and arranged to meet up frequently, whether it was for their studies, the music they shared, or simply each other's presence. At first, he thought the feelings would come after a while, but they didn't, and he did not want to deal with that issue any further. He chose to ignore the tenderness and kept on feeding the facade of being in love.

After a while of dating, Sunghoon's constant way of vaunting about his girlfriend to his friends became very stressful and bothersome to her. She could not stand the pressure of always being the center of attention around his friends. She elected to calmly confront her boyfriend about the struggle she had been hiding deep down, which resulted in a heated argument. Sunghoon revealed his real intentions about their relationship, explaining how he just wanted to boost his self-esteem, to feel less left out, less pressured, and not embarrassed around his friends for not having a girlfriend.

She could not believe nor process the words that spilled from his mouth, so she just stared at him in disbelief. Sunghoon, not able to stand her silence, told her how much he cherished her just as a trophy to show around his friends, without having any strings attached. Soon after, she made the decision to end their relationship. Unable to look at his face anymore, she spared no time and stormed out of his college room to go to her own. Tears threatened to spill out, yet she did not cry. She did not want to cry. Arriving in her own room, she blocked his number and decided to go to sleep, just to ignore her own salty eyes.

now that it's done you can tell all your friends

After the match ended with a win for her school's team, everyone cheered loudly while she just smiled proudly at her best friend. The basketball players approached the stands, and in the crowd of the team, she noticed a familiar face—not her best friend's, but her ex-boyfriend's—Sunghoon. Sunghoon, running ahead of himself towards the stands, smiled brightly and hugged a tall and slim female figure, then a moment later, kissed her passionately. Seeing this, she looked quite shocked and felt a little bit hurt, but she hoped he treated that girl differently than he had treated her.

without me around you can take turns with everyone

Some time passed. Just as she was about to exit the toilet stall, she heard a girl running and crying into the stall next to hers, disrupting her peace. She decided to stay quiet, not wanting to startle the girl. Accidentally, she overheard the girl talking to someone on the phone. Through tears, the girl explaines how much she loved a boy and how hurt she felt after an argument a few minutes ago over a minor inconvenience. The girl continued, describing how the boy had said hurtful things to her, claiming he did not love her and that she was useless, only seen as another trophy by him. Hearing this, she froze on the spot, her own breakup suddenly flooding back to her.

She exited the stall in a hurry and walked anxiously through the school hall, her thoughts racing freely in her mind. She couldn't believe that the boy she once loved and cherished had turned into such a heartless pride machine. She could not believe that Sunghoon continued to break the hearts of innocent girls just to feed his own ego and impress his friends.

even now as I'm on my own it wears me down and I've lost control

Arriving at her dorm room, she lied in her bed and chuckled at her own hope of Sunghoon changing. Soon after, the chuckles turned into wholehearted laughter as she reminisced about the lies Sunghoon told his friends about their past relationship and their reasons for breaking up.

after all we've been through would you tell everyone leaving out how you made me feel and what went wrong

Right after, the laughter turned into single droplets of tears, which trickled down her cheeks as she realized how insecure Sunghoon must feel — unable to tell the truth and live authentically, wearing a mask while breaking hearts. She felt sorry for him, though she shouldn't have; after all, he had broken her heart. Yet here she was, and the world did not end.

now that it's done you can tell all your friends

At the end, their priorities diverged: she would prioritize her future significant other, while he would always prioritize his pride and his FRIENDS.

without me around you can take turns with everyone you can tell all your friends you can tell all your friends

Authors Note: Yellow yall,, my first ff on tumblr and ngl kinda nervous,, hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this !! I am open for any improvements, so feedback is very much appreciated (the negative one as much as the positive),, take care everyone !! (?)

(06.07.2024)