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FORGET ME NOT !

FIVE HARGREEVES X GN!READER PAIRING !

FIVE HARGREEVES MASTERLIST !

TW: MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND DEATH !

A/N: 300 FOLLOWER SPECIAL !

A sensitive child is what your parents described you when people would ask why you were so quiet all the time, not interacting with anyone. You knew there was something wrong with you, a headache formed whenever someone around you would magically agree to what you asked them to do for you.

For years on end, you've hated yourself, hating yourself for why you were different yet you didn't know why. You've learned how to accept but still loathe your powers, as you would call them. You never use them willingly, for the reason that agonizing headaches would come your way. For most of your life, you learned to conceal it.

You've hated yourself for years until a certain someone quite literally walked into your life. The permanent frown on his face intrigued you when he first walked into the cafe doors where you worked at.

Five met you in the cafe he often went to, he took a lunch break while on a mission, and you were the one serving him his usual order, a black coffee. You were new to the job, it was his first time seeing you but he knew then and there that he had to get to know you more. So he did, he went to the cafe more than usual, he made small talk with you; he complimented the coffee you gave him, even though it was regular black coffee. He used his free time to see you.

There was something in you that immediately attracted him. He didn't know what it was, but he enjoyed it. For the first time in years, he let himself choose what's best for him and not what's best for others. What's best for him is you. He made an impact on you, and by the time he went to your workplace daily, you had mustered up enough courage to ask him on a date.

One date turned into a second date and the second date turned into the third, and so on. Those dates were still in routine by the time Five had married you. Five is a romantic at heart, and he won't let you to even lift a pinky. He worships the ground you walk on, he worships everything you have.

Initially, Five thought your powers were shocking, you knew well that he was similar to you. He, himself packed his powers and secrets. He once doubted you, thinking that you'd use your abilities on him, causing him to be extremely affected by you. He brushed those feelings off, knowing that you wouldn't do such things.

A loud noise interrupted the telenovela you were watching on the television. Your eyes glanced over to Five's sleeping frame, his mouth is slightly agape from being tired at his job, and his head laid on your lap. You smiled contently at him, he looked at peace whenever he slept. One of the endless things you loved about him. Five would admit that he slept better when you're near, something he couldn't explain why.

Your mind wandered back to the noise, most likely another mission the Temps Commission gave him. His job wasn't a hindrance to your relationship with him. Sure, it was terrifying that Five went home after killing a person, but it didn't make you love him less. At first, Five tried to keep it a secret from you, but he gave up by the time you had your suspicions about him.

After quietly and carefully slipping out of Five's warmth, you made your way toward the noise. Presumably, the bathroom, where Five would acknowledge his missions that the Commission would give him. It was a daily recurrence, a daily routine if you will. Before he leaves the door, he kisses you goodbye. You decided to reside at home while he works hard outside, the pay was good enough to give you both a comfortable life.

You opened the secret compartment that revealed the pipeline, a sight Five never wanted you to see. His job was difficult and gruesome, he never wanted to involve you in it. That's why he never wore a wedding band whenever he was out. He asked you if you were okay with it, of course. Five never wanted to hurt you in any way. The Temps Commission didn't know he had a partner, let alone Five being married.

Your eyes scanned the small paper over and over again, the words engraved in your head as the tears fell uncontrollably, you tried to stifle your sobs, making it hard for you to breathe.

Eliminate Y/n L/n.

Five was passionate about his job, as gruesome and brutal as it was, he loved the thrill of killing people, their blood splattering his face after he pulled the trigger on his gun. You knew how much his job meant to him, and you weren't about to ruin it for him. It didn't matter if it meant that your life needed to be taken away.

A few minutes after composing yourself and putting the paper back where it was, you made your way toward the wall that was decorated with both of your pictures. One with Five having the widest smile on his face, the day of your wedding day. One with Five's arm wrapped around your body, an adoring glint on his face as he watched you pose for the camera. Lastly, one with Five pressing a kiss to your lips.

All with different locations, all with different memories but they all had one thing in common, love was in Five's eyes in every picture. A hand slapped over your face, attempting to stop your loud sobs from slipping and waking Five from his sleep on the couch, the telenovela you were watching earlier was still playing.

With a shaky hand, you took the pictures with yourself in it, one by one. Leaving the wall empty, only blank picture frames were left, waiting to be filled with new pictures, new memories. The next minutes passed by, consisting of you taking everything that would show signs that Five had a special someone, even going to far lengths such as taking his wedding band that matched yours.

A headache gradually formed as your tears slipped freely, the pain of leaving Five was all too much for you. The moment you got the message, you already knew what you had to do. For you to erase yourself in Five's memories. It was as if you hadn't existed in Five's world, up until he reads the message the Commission gave him.

Your body slowly made its way to the couch Five slept on, still as peaceful as ever. You took a good look at him, the last time you'll see him before you wipe his memories. Your fingers brushed the stray hairs on his face, your index finger planted right in the middle of his forehead, your powers doing their job in wiping what Five remembered you by.

A quiet sob left your lips, careful not to wake Five up. A few seconds passed, and you've done your job, what's left is for Five to do his. You watched him one last time, he stirred in his sleep, muttering words you couldn't hear from where you stood. By the time you've left the front doors and stood still on his porch, you let yourself be free, crying your heart out, using one of the pillars for support.

A sigh left your lips as you glanced over to the watch placed on the counter, 30 minutes left till you were allowed to tidy up and leave the job to go back to the comfort of your home. There were no employees or customers around, your normal work partner had an emergency to tend to, causing you to be alone. It had been days since you left Five, waiting for him to take your life. Normally for Five, he did his job as fast as he got them, but this time, he had an itching feeling that he had to postpone this mission.

The sound of the bell chiming on top of the door interrupted your thoughts, you looked over to the door, a fake smile on your face as a habit. The fake smile on your face faltered quickly as you saw who it was, Five Hargreeves in all his glory. Similarly to the first time, he met you with a scowl on his face, his posture straight as a ruler.

“Hello, Sir. Welcome to Expresso Express, what would you like to order?” A grin on your face, a grin that was too cheery for Five.

His eyes flicked over to your name tag, the words Y/n L/n were engraved in. His hand entered the inside of his suit, obviously taking something out of it, presumably a gun. You weren't afraid to die, you were afraid of who would be the cause of your death. His hand appeared from his suit, sure enough, there was a pistol in his rough, calloused right hand.

Before you could react, a bullet inside the pistol went right through your head. At the same time, as the hot metal pierced your skin, Five was baffled. Memories came rushing through his head, all of them with your body, all of them with your smile, all of them with your laugh, all of them with you. Memories that weren't there before, memories that felt unfamiliar but familiar at the same time.

The moment he realized what he had done, your blood was now splattered on the counter and over his cheeks as well as his newly washed suit. His tears subconsciously rolled down his cheeks, mixing with your crimson-colored blood.

He had killed the very reason he woke up in the morning. He had killed the very reason he slept peacefully after suffering for years with insomnia. He had killed the person he loved more than anyone or anything else. He had killed the person he was willing to be selfless for. He had killed you.

He jumped up the counter to hold you. He didn't care how his newly washed suit got stained with your blood. He didn't care how dirty his skin would feel after you blood had dried up. He didn't care how loud he sounded as he called for you, knowing you wouldn't respond.

Five meant every word he had said at the wedding, till death do us part.

@iiirhiane-g @crinklypink @its-loki-bitch @cff3kat @umbrellatte @yuuki4646 @dontspoilthis @isventigayoreuropean

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lost on you | five hargreeves.

❛ hold me like you never lost your patience, tell me that you love me more than hate me. ❜

summary — five only notices you when you're no longer around.

pairings — five hargreeves x umbrella!fem!reader

warning/s — angst, profanity, character death, mentioned blood, not proofread

word count — 6.0k

a/n ! you're called as 'eight' in this fic since this is set before five went into the future. forgive me if i somehow mentioned the ua's given names

Every harsh word and curses you earned from your interaction with Five was always worth it. The feeling that even though he loathed your presence, it still gave you the relief of his acknowledgement of your existence. Admittingly, it did make you feel a little bit blue that not even once did he act nice towards you or at times where you insisted to help him and he didn’t thank you, not as much bothered to give you a small nod of appreciation or just look at your way. You once thought that maybe it was just how he is, a cold-hearted boy devoid of love making him invulnerable to everyone showing him any amount of affection and maybe add daddy issues to that list but to be fair you and the rest of your siblings have one too but none of them were like Five. It did confuse you that why only was he an asshole to you, but you were known to be the most patient among the rest of your siblings so you gave Five a chance to rethink whatever agenda he has on you and prayed to whoever was up there that the time you and him finally be friends would come around the corner. 

Deep down, you wanted it to be more.

One day, Five felt comfortably fit in the huge walls of the Academy for the first time, but then suddenly there’s you who randomly found solace in sticking too close in his space. He made the effort to always put his piqued expression everytime you’re around, to his dismay it didn’t once have you scurrying away from him nor took the hint that he didn’t want you around like he mysteriously grew a tail one day. Five found it sickening that what greets him every time he ascends downstairs after getting ready for the day is the sound of your voice greeting him a ‘Good morning’ to which he once replied ‘Now it's ruined.’ but surprisingly you laughed at his response thinking it was a silly joke. If Five were to rank all his siblings from the smartest to the dumbest, you’d be the last on the line. After that, he started ignoring all your small greetings. Claiming to himself  it would just slowly ruin his life.

The day Five prayed that one day you would magically damage your vocal cords was the day Number Three and Number Four had finally caught up with your attachment to him, where the rest of you woke up earlier than him on a Saturday morning, all gathered in the living room about to enjoy the game of Monopoly. Which you protested to have Five join, not wanting him to be left out. Unknowingly, Three and Four shared a look as you rushed upstairs to wake him.

Five groaned sleepily, having been awoken from his deep slumber by a cheering you shaking him awake. He assumed it was still early in the morning considering his body would instinctively wake him up at twelve in the afternoon whenever Reginald’s on a business trip, to which he already knew since he announced it the day before. Of course the naive old man would think that all of you would obey his orders to practice your skills while he’s away, to which none of you would ignore and coming up with a lie was one of the things the Umbrella Academy’s good at.

"Five! wake up! We’re going to play a board game with the rest in the living room. Dad’s not around.”

You tugged at his pajama sleeves to which he yanked back, shoving his head underneath his pillow. To avoid an accidental peek at your figure. Already hating the aura radiating off of you by being in his room.

“Go away, Eight.” he fumed, his voice muffled. Five wants nothing more than to blip you out to the ends of the world from interrupting his dreams. Sure it may be just the ‘tired him’ speaking, but he swore that one of these days, he’d finally had enough of you and would do it without any hesitations.

“But the last time we didn’t include you, you didn’t talk to us for days.” You frowned.

“Well it’s different and I don’t want to be near you, now go!” 

For a second there was a pause, deciding what to do to convince him. As you opened your mouth to speak, you’re prevented to let the words out as Five spoke once again,

“Shut the door on your way out and don’t come back.”

“Okay then, I’ll just send Six for you for the next round.” You begrudgingly said, ignoring the way his tone sounded harsh, maybe he’ll come around later. 

Not waiting for his response or more likely not wanting to aggravate him any longer, you turned to leave his room, making sure to shut his door gently as he requested.

“What took you long?” Seven piped up, seeing your figure sauntering towards them, they were sat on the carpeted floor, circling around on the board game, prepared for you and Five’s arrival but it was just you.

“oOoH! Is it because you two were sucking each other’s faces?” Four interrupted, wiggling his eyebrows at you, Three giggling beside him. You hadn’t missed the shocked faces on the rest, especially Seven who was suspicious of you and Five but paid it no mind since he seemed to skirmish around you, though she was once convinced it was just a cover up to hide yours and Five’s feelings towards each other. Well, it did work on One and Three once when they were at the age of ten. That was two years ago.

“What?” You yelled, eyes wide.

“We know you like Five, Eight.” Three gushed. The rest of your siblings are still lost for words.

“No I don’t.” You defended, taking place on an empty space between Six and Seven.

“Look, it’s completely okay to date him, it’s not like we’re all related, right Number One?” Four said, looking over at Three who now froze at the mention of the name.

“Four..” One warned, though his cheeks reddened visibly, not oblivious to what he was implying about. It was no secret that he and Three had this sort of relationship that was neither confirmed nor denied. The looks they’d send each other at the table every breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was also a surprise that Reginald had not once found them sneaking off to each other’s room nor the obviously more than platonic way of them holding each other’s hands after every mission as they posed for the camera. Not the rest of you though, if asked who all of you would rather choose to stay loyal to between siblings and Reginald, you would choose your siblings without a doubt.

“What? It’s not like I just revealed a big secret, At least one of us had caught you and Three trying to kiss each other.” 

“Will you lower your voice?” Three said, her head tilted down in embarrassment.

“Are you and Five really together?” Six broke out of his silence for the first time, still processing what the conversation had turned into. Even Two stopped his fidgeting on a rubik’s cube to listen to what you had to say. All of them now diverted their attention from One and Three to you. Three silently sighed in relief, having been saved from the awkward tension.

“No, What made you even say that, Four?”

“Please, the look on your eyes whenever you look at him never misses.”

“What look?” 

“Like you just drowned into a pit of marijuana juice.”

“What?” All of you simultaneously said in puzzlement.

“Your pupils grow larger, I mean.” 

“So?” You replied, still missing his point.

“You don’t look at Two or One or Six like you want to kiss them.” Two and Six blushed from the thought.

“Who says I want to kiss him?”

While engaged into a deep childish conversation, the rest of you grew mindless to the increasing volume of your voices that had now echoed around the empty mansion which had also prevented Five from falling back asleep. Even though it was muffled as much he couldn’t make out whatever all of you were talking about. Deciding he had enough of it, he barged out of his room with an angered look displayed on his face, rushing downstairs. Then he heard your annoying voice which added fuel to an already raging him, but grew curious to what you just said.

“Kiss who?” 

Just as Number Four was about to argue with you again, he’s interrupted from the groggy voice of Five standing on the entrance of the living room. All of you turned your head on his figure. Heat immediately raised to your cheeks, the thought of Five eavesdropping on a conversation about him was enough to make him hate you more, if he as much mistakens your friendliness towards him as something more, he would do whatever it takes to finally eliminate the obstacle that blocked him from the pathway towards an Eight-free life.

“Uh-Nothing! It’s Nothing!” You rambled. Nervously defensive.

“Stop playing around Five, we know you and Eight are love birds.” Four laughed. Everyone sat completely still from his words. A gasped escaped from Number Three as the rest just stared dumbfounded at Four. Then the atmosphere thickened in tension as you felt a familiar sting rising in your eyes.

“FOUR!” You stood from your sitting position.

“WHAT?” Five queried, more angrier than he was previously. 

“Five- I- I- I don’t know what he’s talking about.” You tried to play it off by lightly laughing.

“You told everyone we’re together? What the hell is wrong with you?” He said with disgust.

“No I didn’t!” You sauntered towards him but Five slowly backed away from your reach. Four could feel the guilt swallowing him as he watched the exchange he had caused, Three elbowed his side, earning her attention, she gave him a look of disappointment. Seven and Six now looked at you with empathy as they too gave disapproving looks on Four. 

“I’m gonna get us snacks.” Number Two walked out of the room, not wanting to watch the scene.

“You want to kiss me? Ugh- I would never kiss you, Eight. Just stop being so weird around me.” He bellowed without any hesitations.

Without another word, Five turned his back on you, returning back to the comfort of his room, leaving you there to sulk in your feelings as you watch his retreating figure grow blurry. All you heard at the moment was the sound of your heart breaking into two sharp pieces, piercing you just right the first drop of tears escaped your eye. Not that you were sad to find out what you bare for him is unrequited but the thought of him even hating you more than he already does. Not that you really do have feelings about him. Or do you?.

The situation made you feel even worse as it finally came to you that Four just outed you like that to him. You felt betrayed and small in the middle of the room. All eyes on you.

“Eight- I'm sorry-” Four, who now slowly made his way to you tried to rest his hand on your shoulder which he failed to as you swiftly left the room with a gush of the wind and in a blink of an eye the second he muttered his apology.

The room was then once again met with silence. The Hargreeves siblings gave each other looks from the events that had just ruined the start of their day. Not hiding their disappointment in their brother.

“Way to ruin the bonding Four.” One was the first one to break the silence, soon following suit as he too left the room, then Three and Seven tailed behind him, not sparing a glance at Four.

“I’ll just raid the kitchen with Two.” Six said, not wanting to be the last one remaining, leaving Four alone in the living room. The board game abandoned, untouched.

Five hated being wrong at times, he liked to thought of himself as smarter and more mature than most of his siblings even his ego convinced him that he would make more of a good leader than Number One but he wasn’t as selfish as to steal that title from him, everytime One would ultimately fail one of his plans, It would feed Five’s ego, which he would then jump up to save the day with a new plan. Of course the rest of you would thank him and his brilliant back up plan. Except One though, even after Five saved him from Reginald’s scolding, just like his super strength, One had the thickest skin to get through out of the rest of you. Not that he hated Five, but it did bruise his pride that someone would steal his spotlight. When Number Four once joked about how Five should be Number One, it had stuck with him and would sometimes bother him at his worst times that Five in fact, was better than him at all things.

Well it didn’t help that one of his favorite siblings, you, thought that too. 

Five have always taken notice of you desperately clinging on to that hope that he’d finally give you the attention that you’ve always wanted. The nice gestures you’d throw his way whenever you passed by him in the hallway, giving him a gift every Christmas even though he never returned your favor, there were no hard feelings you harbored towards him and it felt nice to Five that someone was able to put up with his behavior. He remembered the time he once said mean things to Number Three and since then she acted hard towards him or the time Six accidentally spilled his milk on his newly tailored suit and he scolded him, now the poor boy can’t look at him straight in the eye for more than a second. He’d say the only siblings he can bear the presence of is Two, Four and Seven. There was just something about you that raises his blood to the point he’d leave the room whenever you step foot in it, his chest tightened with his eyes darkened as he watches your figure walking straight towards him mainly to rain havoc to his sunshine-y days. 

He would roll his eyes at you as your eyes light up as soon as you see him. With a sigh and a voice in his head saying ‘here we go again’ for the hundredth time.

As the rest of his siblings would say, you were the center of the solar system, where your ultimate demise would darken every corner of the house, every room you would step foot in would be graced by your luminous joy. It was not surprising that no one has ever seen you cry nor had they heard your sobs in closed doors. They just simply assumed that your kindness and your loving nature had made you immune to dejection.

Not until the first time Five had seen you on the verge of shedding your first tear in front of him.

Five realized that he seemed too harsh on you the second he slammed the door to his bedroom shut. Sure it seemed wrong that you liked him in more ways and it somehow made sense that you are too nice to him despite his worst behaviors towards you. Maybe he overreacted back down in the living room, he debated with himself that once he cools down, he’ll apologize to you even if it seemed out of character for him. He hadn’t remembered himself being nice towards you and then a sudden feeling of guilt started to grow inside him that day.

With a heavy flop on the bed, Five, for the first time regretted his ruthless attitude towards you, and even though he finally fell back asleep, it was with a weighty feeling in his chest that had made it not worth it. He was sure the next meal was going to be filled with tension.

Then the day Five prayed that one day you would magically damage your vocal cords was also the day he realized he’d rather listen to your voice than to stay in the void of loneliness for eternity.

Reginald Hargreeves arrived back home just in time for dinner. But not before discussing with One what activity all of you were engaged in while he was away to which One smoothly told him a lie all of you had already planned on tricking him.

His lack of care for his children had him mindless to the sudden change of his surroundings, but he was appreciative of the silence in the room, usually he had to scold whoever one of you for even sighing in front of the food. 

Five was the last one to sit at the table, his tardiness had Reginald shook his head at him. He hurriedly made his way on an empty seat, but to his surprise, the seat on his right which you have claimed to be yours was occupied by Seven and then across him was you in Seven's usual seat besides Six, your head down as you focused on slicing your steak. He must've starred a bit too long since Seven went in to lean closer to him,

"She wanted to switch places." She whispered, giving him a pitying smile, and she soon resumed her meal. 

Five secretly wanted you to greet him the moment he entered the room, risking a scolding from Dad for interrupting the radio playing in the background. He thought that by now you would forget what had happened earlier just like you always did whenever he'd curse at you. But this time was different, he knew he went too far when he humiliated you in front of your siblings. He couldn't blame you for ignoring his presence, he knew he deserved it and even if you wouldn't treat him the same as before, Five would just accept it as it is.

"Children, before you return to your respective room, I ask of you to have your suits ready and rest early for tomorrow we have a mission to comply. I pray that your training earlier while I was away would be of help in our success. May all of you do well. Now you can all go." 

Chair dragging on the floor resonated the room, you being the first one to leave your seat in a hurry of wanting to be in the comfort of your room, the whole meal you could feel eyes on you making it harder to stay at the table any longer.

Especially Five’s staring at you and it didn't help that he was just right across you, if it weren't for Seven's not so discreet voice leaning in to notify him about how you switched seats with her you wouldn't have known. You knew it bothered Five that you acted cold towards him for the very first time and it filled you with a great sense of joy how much he didn't know how you hold so much power in augmenting his pride. After what he pulled earlier, you've come to a conclusion that maybe ignoring him would soften his shell that prevents him from being human towards you or maybe not but either way you've got nothing to lose, you still have the rest of your siblings who cherishes you. 

Four has been trying to get your attention as much as knocking on your door while saying his apologies on the other side, you did listen but some alone time was all you needed at the moment. You couldn't stay mad any longer to him so you briefly replied with 'we'll talk tomorrow' in which Four completely understood. 

Five badly wanted to stop you from avoiding him, your fast pace and your head bowed as you counted each step you took, he wanted to reach out to your inviting wrists and beg for forgiveness even in front of his siblings, Reginald and Pogo.

But he never did as he watches you slowly leave his line of vision. All that he's greeted with was the sound of your door slammed shut.

A suffocating feeling had your mind enter into a blissful trance, a flashback of what life had to offer you even in the not so pleasant times. As you recall each and every detail of memory from how the clouds were formed that day to the shape of the moon that night. Every choice you've ignored and chosen, your emotions that you let loose and take over, trinkets you found and kept on the small box you've hidden on the bottom of your drawer, all the smallest things had brought you here right at this moment. Maybe for a second you wished to have gone back in time and change all that but your untimely death would have contributed to a good change someday in the future of your siblings. That they'll finally learn how to find that glimpse of happiness all on their own, independently. 

You'd miss their voices in bright daylight that greets you every morning, it did annoy you at times but it's a reminder that you are blessed with a scarred yet lovable family that gave you a will to go on with life. There were times that made it hard to live in the household, a very well known fact amongst you that all you were but weapons created by Reginal Hargreeves himself but there was no hatred you bare towards him, after all he did give you shelter, food and clothes. You wondered what would've happened if your real mother chose you instead of whatever huge amount of money your father offered her. That she decides she wants you and would try to be a mother even if your existence was unplanned.  Would life be simpler? Would it feel like something's missing? Would you feel less happy? Would you feel content in life? Will it change who you are? Will your biologically related family love you just the same as your current one or perhaps even more? Would it take more than years to find your true potential? Would you still have met Five? You're curious if even if it did happen, maybe you wouldn't have to lie down in your own puddle of blood, choking in a thick red liquid as every gasps of air sends a sharp pain on your open wound, you hadn't noticed your lack of blinking as you focused on the white pristine ceiling, the diminished sounds of gunfire as it's replaced by the sobbing and sniffles of your siblings. Your hand clutched on your soaked blazer right where a knife had plunged itself onto your skin, everything felt like it's happening outside your mind, then you were spectating far away, unable to do anything but cry at your helpless body, watching life slowly drain out of you.

You hadn't noticed how Number Three had rested your head on her lap, Four and Six on either side of her as they shook with what could be the most traumatizing events they could ever witness, how they wouldn't be able to think about you again without remembering your bloody form. One and Two had now approached the group, eliminating the last of the enemies in the building, but they weren't prepared for what they were about to see.

"Hey, we got the last of the-" One halted, his eyes finding your lying figure. Two's knife clanking with the marble tiles as he too is overcomed with what the mission had cost them. 

"I-I don't- I don't know what to do.." Three sobbed. The Umbrella Academy fell into a brief silence as if time itself stopped to grieve with them. Painfully so, what filled the gap was the sound of your gurgling. Six encased your palms in his comforting warmth, he wasn't so sure if it were to make yourself better or him. 

"Eight.." The blonde boy kneeled in front of you.

"We could still save her," He said, taking your body as he rests your head against his shoulder. More blood flowing out of your mouth from the sudden change of position, staining his uniform.

It was a sad sight to see, a group of children barely teenagers having to watch such a disturbing scene. A mark that would truly stain their life forever, the very day they will always remember. 

"Where's Five? He could just- just bring her back home immediately." Everyone could see their leader's bloodshot eyes, tears threatening to spill but he had forced himself not to. 

"C-c-c-could he do that?" Two quivered, placing himself besides Number One.

Just as if on queue, Five blipped himself in the same room, his face scrunched immediately in confusion as he's faced with One's back on him and the others surrounding him with tears on their faces. He began to make his way towards them, eager to find what the commotion was about.

"What's going on?" With a few more steps, Five stood frozen in shock when he saw you bleeding out in One's arms. The others now look at him with sympathy. 

"Eight!" The boy kneeled in front of you with a worried look.

Five’s familiar voice had you pull your last remaining strength to move your eyes right at him. The small movement had the others sighed in relief that there could still be hope to save you. Even in your current state, your heart still hasn't failed to skip a beat whenever you're given a small acknowledgement from Five. It was probably the third time he had called you by your name. You are met with the very set of green eyes that have always brought you comfort, except that it was without disdain present in it but tears forming on the corner of his eyes, blurring his vision. 

"Five you have to save her!" said Three desperately. 

"How?" Five blinked, tears now falling on his cheeks. 

"Just do your spatial jumps and bring her with you back home!" She pleaded, "Please, Five."

"I don't know if I could do that." He replied in defeat, it felt as if he was being punished at the moment.

"Just try!" One interrupted with gritted teeth.

Gripping the sleeves of your brother's arms around you, you managed to catch everyone's attention. All that was left of you was the patiently heavy feeling radiating off of you, awaiting the cold hands of death as it lulls you in it's embrace, eyes taunting you that there's really nothing your siblings could do but watch as you take your last breath, as life flows out of you for the first and the last time. They knew it too, a wishful thinking they've chosen to indulge themselves in hopes of making the situation less hurtful. Just like you, the rest of them wanted to jump back in time and change every choice they made that day to prevent your death. It was inevitable. A sad truth is that the ecstasy of life has to come to an end. Though it will still come back but in a new form.

You're not sure if they could see you shaking your head side to side or if they knew what you meant right at the moment, but there really was no other way to communicate without using your strength nor the blood stranded in your throat —wanting to be let out.

"No? What do you mean?" Five rests his palms on your red stained cheek, full on sobbing. All he got as a response was a saddened raise of your brows, mirroring his emotions. 

"Please can I hold her." He turned to One. 

His brother gave him a curt nod, moving so that Five could scoot in and replace his hold on you. He carefully held your head and placed it on his lap, your eyes never leaving his.

"Hey Eight, you're gonna be okay."

"You're gonna be okay…"

Five swore for a second he could see your mouth slightly move, it was as if you were trying to utter but a word through your strangled breathing, even more so his name coming out of you. Though the only thing he got was the first release of sadness cascading down your face. Too focused memorizing every detail in your eyes —the longest he had looked at you and possibly the last time, he hadn't noticed your raised hands reaching towards his own cheek. He flinched from the sudden contact and then he held it in his own, laying your palms flat on his cheeks. Five ignored how cold your hands felt at the moment and your pale lips. The sharpest and thousands of needles punctured his heart, his breathing matched yours, suffocating him with every slow blink you made, it scared him that when you do, you'll never open your eyes again.

No words were spoken between you, yet both of you understandably knew the other was hurting, what the other was thinking right at the moment. You knew Five was filled with regret and no matter how you wanted to tell him that you forgave him for everything, you settled for the touch. Maybe he'll know all you wanted right at the instance was to stare in his eyes and memorize every speck of color littered in his Iris. Green and hints of blue suited him. It reminded you of the earth itself, how everytime you stare at it, it reminds you of home. 

The rush of winds dancing and twirling enthralled your senses, the soft brush of it as it twists and turns your hair, ocean waves crashing and making brushing noises as it kisses the sand all over and over again. Sea salt enamores you and drives you to close your eyes in its comforting presence, the sunlight you've always grown to love embraces you in its warmth, the temperature was perfectly balanced, neither cold nor hot. For the first time in your life, you're walking barefoot on the soft grains of sand and then you find out it's the best euphoric feeling to sit on, feeling and mushing it on your hands. All you could focus on was the sound of nature, reminding you of Five’s voice. A voice that makes waking everyday worth, a voice that puts you in trance, and even in the afterlife, it will still feel just the same, only it will be just in your memory, that is if you still remember anything. 

With a final sigh, your body lay limp against Five, only your eyes weren't shut close and to think he was afraid of it closing, Five changed his mind and grew confused by your sudden halt of blinking, then your hands felt heavy in his. 

"Eight?" White noises entered his ear, shaking you awake, everybody knew it was useless. The group of children now emit heart-shattering cries.

"She's gone Five.." Six announced through his choking sobs. 

It took him minutes to drive his eyes away from you, and when he did, the sound of sirens resonated as if in a queue. The Gods were playing a game on him.

The Umbrella Academy knew that they will never be the same again, even though a year has passed, not a day goes by that they don't get eaten away by guilt. Everyday was a waking curse, the door to your room remains closed as all of them makes their way out of theirs in sync and it was with a gut wrenching sensation as they make their way down the stairs without the familiar sound of the heels of your shoes, the way you trip on the second to the last of the stairs while you greet each of them a 'Good morning', though it only was a good morning indeed with your cheerful voice that makes them question if you aren't capable of having even just one bad day. They had convinced themselves that you somehow were an angel in disguise, bringing light on their gloomy lives. 

From the first week without you, a large portrait of you was placed just above the fireplace. The rest had thought it symbolizes that even without your presence, your warmth would still make the room less cold when necessary. It was a known fact that you were mindful of your surroundings, where you could be a little clean freak at times and would fix your siblings' messes, what they missed the most was how you treated every single matter as somewhat alive. Not one have you thrown away old toys nor have you broken one, only you gave it away to children who needed it more. The people had noticed your very same figure in and out in the same orphanage not more than ten blocks away from the Academy, it warmed many but it wasn't the reason for your generosity. You've always believed that others should experience every happiness that you've gone through. 

If there was one thing your siblings couldn't not notice was the vase sitting just on the side of the staircase, where you'd pick the dead ones, bury them in the backyard and replace them with freshly picked ones, claiming the bright colors insinuates the darkish tone of the house.

Now that you're gone, no one dared try to touch the welting flowers. Afraid to taint what you have last touched.

Seven had returned to her original seat beside Six, leaving an empty reminder beside Five, dreadfully mocking him every time they had their meal, his appetite would always go away. In turn he would play with his food and even if Seven had told him that he needed it for energy and how you wouldn't have liked how he's starving himself, Five would snap at her with a 'she's not here now, is she? she's dead.' 

Five’s deep hatred for Reginald started the day of your funeral, there was a blank look on his permanent stoic face, as if to say he'd rather sulk in his office than attend his own daughter's funeral. He had hopes that maybe there was still something humane inside Reginald the moment it was his turn to give one final speech for you. Only that what came out of his was insults and scolding about how the Umbrella Academy had failed for the first time in their life. Pogo had both mourned and radiated sympathy from the rest of him and his siblings slouched form, their father being insensitive. 

There came a time when Five didn't have to brood for the empty seat besides him. The first morning where it really felt like you're just a figment of imagination in his head, that all you were now was a piece of memory made to be forgotten and what's left of you was the empty locked bedroom and your painting. Five grew disoriented with the new table set, then there was Number Seven who now had her seat facing their father, both the sides of the table perfectly balanced with three chairs on either. No more empty seats. He didn't know why but it felt less reassuring. 

Five hated the change around the house, taking away what used to be yours. Treating you like you weren't a member of the family. Like you never even existed at all.

It all came to him in a flash, the second his father sent him back to his room to rest after giving him a lesson about time traveling. Five contemplated on what this could mean, what this potential could do and how he could turn back right in time to prevent your death. It was risky but all he thought about was the smiles and tears of joy from the rest of his family as he miraculously revived you. The free time he had would consist of him working on a solution, it took over his notebooks, whiteboard and even one side of his wall as much he tried asking for spare parchment from Grace, Pogo and his siblings. 

When he was confident enough, the thirteen year old boy had not hesitated to break the one rule of conversation during meal times, interrupting Herr Carlson in the background. 

What he didn't know was it could change his life forever.

"I have a question." 

[ 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ]

you leave a first impression → sparrow academy [ben]

Warnings: Profanity

Imagine yourself having the powers of an Empath combined with the tracking abilities of Demetri Volturi [Twilight].

Ben || Number Two –– THE SCHEMER

⮕ Ben isn’t used to people staring at him the way your group does. 

⮕ Is he used to star-struck admiration? Yes. Poorly concealed lust. Oh most definitely. 

⮕ Fighting crime in the limelight for years had propelled the Sparrow Academy into celebrityhood overtime, to the point where it felt like they were more commodity than people most days.

⮕ With bus loads of fans gathering at their fence each day, and hoards of women and men throwing themselves at him for almost anything, all Ben had ever known was fan-crazed obsession and shallow affection. 

⮕ So when he sees the mosaic of expressions that aren’t admiration or greed on your group, he’s already on alert:

⮕ The Big Guy and Stubble are wide-eyed at the back, almost slack jawed as the woman with the long coat stumbles back into them.

⮕ She’s quick to school her expression as she shuffles away, but Ben notes the way her hand trembles as her eyes rove over him in disbelief.

⮕ Their reactions has The Monster™ unfurling itself inside his stomach, but Ben ignores the sharp pain that follows in its wake as he turns to the smallest of your group. 

⮕ Their faces are twisted with an expression he can’t quite decipher. It looks like grief, longing, and hope all mixed into one but the look is too fast and too fleeting for him to make sense of anything.

⮕ Short Pants, in particular, brings in his pointed finger into a clenched hand at his side. 

⮕ Sundance, comparatively, looks the most at ease as he holds a hand against his chest with a dramatic flourish. It’s as though he’s already comfortable with what’s going on, comfortable with being in a room with them him, that Ben’s brow furrows.

⮕ In spite of his nonchalance and near-friendliness, he can’t help but think that Sundance’s smile could be bigger–all toothy or some sort of mischievous shit–and that the smile he’s wearing now is half-hearted at best. 

⮕ Of course, it isn’t until he catches you hidden behind Sundance, eyes pinned to the floor that something that feels like desperation reverberates through him as he waits for you to meet his gaze.

⮕ The Monster™ pounds at his stomach lining, begging to be let out. 

⮕By that point, Marcus and the rest of his siblings descend from the second floor, strategically mirroring your own formation as he addresses The Big Guy so Ben forces his attention elsewhere. 

⮕ This shit can wait ‘til after, he decides with a huff. 

⮕ With seven on each side, the confrontation becomes an even standoff. And while it seems the whole situation might come to a peaceful resolution at first, Stubble and Jayme fall into an argument that inevitably kicks things into gear. 

⮕ Ben, naturally, unleashes The Monster™.

⮕ Only, instead of attacking Sundance or Shortstack–being the two closest to him–you side-step into view, now meeting his gaze for the very first time. 

⮕ To his shock? horror? disbelief? The Monster™ stills just before it can tear into your side, stopping only for a few seconds before gently (what?) caressing (the fuck?) your dirt-stained cheek. 

⮕ From behind The Monster™, you stare at its tendrils and at him with a look unlike the others. It makes him feel bare and exposed, vulnerable in all the wrong ways, like he’s a live wire waiting to be put out. The way you look at him… Ben would only describe it as reverence.

⮕ Complete and utter reverence. 

⮕ Eyes wet and mouth trembling, the sharp intake of breath you take as you look at him, really look at him, makes him think back to earlier and how he’d felt a flash of–

⮕ “–I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, the words slipping out before he can bite his tongue. 

⮕ At his words, your expression ripples into something more bitter, something more than words Ben can even come up with and louder than your group as you press your lips into a thin, resigned, line:

⮕ “Too late,” it comes out soft, barely a whisper. But Ben winces as though you’d screeched into his ear.  

⮕ Before he can do anything more, say anything more, you dart around his tendrils and brush a finger against his face. 

⮕ All of a sudden, his limbs grow heavy with fatigue, The Monster™ retreats back into his skin with a harsh slam and the world tilts on its axis.

⮕ White-hot betrayal washes over him as he hits the floor, and as he begins to lose conscious, just on the precept of going under, Ben realises one thing about the sensation as it settles and aches, an open wound:

⮕ The feeling does not belong to him.