These Are All Real Event That Happened Not Even 3 Weeks Ago - Tumblr Posts

Teen Bruce (actually just me projecting lol sorry y'all)

Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?

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Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam

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Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?

Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality

Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that

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Bruce: this literally tastes like ass

Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?

Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.

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Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange